*arguing*
Hanji: *takes off glasses* I don't want to see you right now
Levi: ??
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Armin: Team A will consist of myself, Reiner, Annie, and Pieck.
Armin: Team B will consist of Mikasa.
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eren: who got an STD? i need you to fuck someone for me
jean: calling an STD hit is absolutely insane
connie: biological whorefare
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Armin: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it
Eren: Just rip the bandage off.
Armin: It’s Jean.
Eren: Put the bandage back on.
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Wikipedia
Y/N: How petty can you get?
Levi: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about
Y/N: - unimpressed by his audacity knowing it was an argument with you -
Masterlist
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characters as things family + friends have said
erwin: what is in your heart? naughty words?
levi: yeah, honestly.
erwin: well, it should be jesus.
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Eren : the ocean is calling for me..
Armin : it's majestic.. Ican hear it..
Mikasa : that's a call for therapy.
Mikasa : both of you.
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Eren: mikasa, clothes take away your freedom…
So take them off.
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Hange: “Y/n, could you pass me the salt?”
Y/n: “Sure!” *Slides Levi across the table*
Hange: “Y/n…”
Hange: “This much salt for my simple meal, are you trying to kill me?”
Levi: “I hate you both”
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Armin: You know, when I said 'bring me back something from the coast' I meant like a seashell or something.
Eren, struggling to hold onto a seagull: Well how was I suppose to know??
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Pieck: So you’re dating Annie?
Hitch: What? No! I’m just buying her an accessory since she has terrible fashion sense.
Pieck: That’s literally a wedding ring.
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Levi: You often use humour to deflect your trauma.
Gabi: Thank you.
Levi: I didn't say that was a good thing.
Gabi: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.
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Bertholdt: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Zeke: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Annie: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Porco: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Pieck: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Reiner:
Reiner: I have emotional scars.
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Armin: captain! There’s a man outside who said he’d give me a coke if I gave him my underwear!
Levi: *immediately standing up and grabbing a sword* which way did he go?
Armin: I don’t know! I think—
Connie: *walking in with a can of coke* you guys won’t believe what just happened
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Reiner: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Jean: Nope.
Sasha: No
Connie: Absolutely not.
Reiner:...
Eren: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Connie: *snort* "I hope it sucks"?
Armin: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Jean: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
**Laughter**
Reiner:...
Mikasa: I can't wait to go to your funeral knowing I could have changed that outcome.
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overheard incorrect quote
hange: you suck.
levi: and you’re ugly.
erwin: he looks like he has a bad credit score.
levi: this guy’s not getting a loan.
zeke: :(
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