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dnfshield · 3 years

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okay im posting my first and most important syndicate!dream propaganda !! if people are interested ill def post the rest

and because I'm delusional all of this hinges on that I want dream to actually be upset and brocken 💔🥀 and desperately needing help and not wanting to let anyone help him because connections bad blah blah but I know cc dream doesn't have the range and is also a coward so I have to do everything for him

its under a read more bc its 1.4k words lmao

I think it takes dream a while to process being out of prison even though he should be taking advantage of his new freedom and new space. he spends a lot of time in his room just laying in his blankets or curled up under his bed or memorizing all the shelves of stuff techno left in the spare room. And philza and techno silently agree to make sure dream is getting socialization - knowing that he desperately needs the connection but is unsure how to go back to being ALLOWED to be around others. So they take turns going to his room at night and just finding literally anything to do in his presence. Phil likes to read the old books techno left in there. And when he sees dream peeking over he'll mutter something about how ""reading it out helps me think"" and will quietly read allowed to dream. Or he'll go sit at the desk with a creaky chair and write letters to the woman he loves, gushing over memories and sharing snippets of stories to dream. Phil sits there with a dopey smile and blushy cheeks and dream sits there letting his words sink in - knowing too late that he should never have convinced himself that pushing everyone he loved would somehow save him.

Technos more pacey- he likes to go in there and ""reorganize"" the miscellaneous objects he left in what was supposed to be a storage space turned bedroom. Sometimes it's stacks of pages ripped from old journals sometimes it's failed blueprints and plans sometimes it's old potion bottles that definitely got left a little too long and should NOT be opened - but whatever it is techno will grab it and ramble on about what he was thinking what he was planning why it didn't work and scramble to find an excuse as to why he's chosen to hoard whatever the object is rather than throw it away like a normal person. But dream just sits there and listens and asks questions or asks to hold whatever it is - honestly whatever he can do to keep techno from going to bed and leaving him in his room alone.

Lol okay the actual real important one that started all this is that dream eventually starts outwardly showing signs of distress when alone. At first he reeled when others would try to be around him. He still dealt with the conditioning of never being allowed to have regular visitors and being told everyone he ever knew wanted him dead. But once he realized Phil and techno were not only safe to be around but were happy to be around him he couldn't get enough of them. Dream lingers in the kitchen while philza cooks them all breakfast. He follows techno around while he haphazardly goes through chests looking for a specific enchanting book. He cracks his window so he can hear techno and philza laughing together while they sharpen their weapons on the porch :*) . And on especially bad days where something reminds him of the scorching lava flow or he gets turned around in a space too suffocatingly small he waits up because he knows philza or techno will come and wait with him at night.

And it's the evening that sam knocks on their door that sends dream into overdrive. The second techno opens the door and philzas eyes fall on Sam's armour Phil places a gentle hand on dreams back and ushers him to his room. Techno stands with his frame in the door physically keeping a barrier in-between sam and their home and eventually gets Sam to begrudgingly leave. But when philza goes to check on dream before bed it's obvious dream sat there listening to techno and Sam yell and threaten each other over his life. So Phil skips whatever ploy to keep dream company that he had planned and just sits on his bed with him. He doesn't even say anything besides the classic "it's alright please don't be scared" and "he's not taking you away from here" and "you're safe here, with us, you're safe with me and techno" and blah blah and with every passing whisper dream just drifts closer and lets philza be there with him and philza let's dream lean against him because he knows how badly dream needs the comfort and he's more than happy to be there for him ( -sobs- can philza become a better dad in canon we could've have had it all ) . God okay and finally the important part all of this had been leading up to

And after sitting there and letting dream lean on his shoulder and dodging dreams pleas to tell him how techno got sam off their property dream eventually quiets down. Every time dream stirs to break the silence philza squeezes his arm and let's him settle closer. Dream can barely keep his eyes open but when Phil tries to say goodnight and shift to stand up dreams eyes shoot open and asks if Phil's actually going to leave for the night because a million things are running through his mind. What if Sam only left to not cause a scene and plans to return after the others go to bed and take him with no one there to protect him. What if Sam only left to tell everyone where he is and return with a mob filled with the people dream himself made hate him. What if techno made a deal with sam - to return with diamonds or precious items in exchange to step aside and let dream he hauled away. But Phil only smiles softly and tells him that he's just gonna move to a new spot and dream just sits there and watches Phil settle at the headboard. Dreams eyes follow Phil's hand as he pats his stomach to becken dream to come lay down. Like okay guys please hear me out so dream settles with his head on philzas stomach kinda surrounded by Phil's legs like a little nest :-( while Phil just tells dream to relax and get some sleep. Phil's hand is a weight on his back and dreams just kinda melts. And as dream finally let's himself wind down he thanks Phil for being there with him. philza takes in a breath and whispers "of course" and after a silent beat as if saying it out loud would bring him back in time he tells dream "me and wilbur used to do this when he was younger"

And dream just tells him that he's sorry and that if he "could go back and change it he'd give anything, sorry for letting it go so far with wilbur" and philza tells him that he "knows wilbur is sorry too" and he knows how mentally unwell wilbur got and that he "wished he'd checked up after the letters stopped sooner" and dream doesn't want philzas to blame himself there's nothing he could have done to stop what wilbur and dream had started between each other but there's nothing dream could say to make philza understand that. So he just tangles a fist in philzas shirt and hopes a "none of this is your fault" in an exasperated voice will convey that enough. He gives philzas one more thank you for being here and with philzas hand tracing little movements on his back dream finally feels safe enough to drift off. Lol lol lol ooooooo okay

:*) Loool what if techno used to have a weekly routine of weapon care like just keeping them clean and sharpened and polished. but after he rescues dream from his isolation and torment from quackity, technos sitting in the living room and goes to grab his axe and dream starts panicking and immediately goes to apologizing and begging techno to tell him what he did wrong and promises he'll try better next time (even tho he didn't do anything :-( ) and techno does his best to assure him he didn't do anything, that he's doing perfectly fine and even if something came up his first instinct would not in fact be to pull an axe out on him and techno puts his stuff away and they just sit together :-( after philza gets home he and techno talk and agree it would be best they keep the weapons out of site unless it's absolutely necessary.

theyre sitting like this L

#syndicate!dream #dsmp #dream smp #dreamwastaken #philza #technoblade #okay that should be it in case ppl have those blocked #my posts #literally all i crave is hurt/comfort lol #feel free to add on i love attention

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ranger-kellyn · 3 years

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apologies if you follow me on twitter bc i'm basically copy and pasting from there, but i'm currently feeling a LOT about purah and robbie so have a glimpse of my ANGSTIEST AU FOR THEM TO DATE:

Long Story Short: Paya isn't Impa's granddaughter :)c

Paya is her grand-niece.

Robbie's journal says that Purah had slipped away from him while escorting her to hateno while he was lost in thought, but the truth is she slipped away from him early in the morning, after one last night together, where she begged him to not say how strong he felt for her

Purah swears up and down she'll take the secret to her grave. If she tells Robbie she's pregnant, he'll either come running to her, or she'll go running to him. It puts the future of hyrule in danger, so she swears to take it to her grave.

Well...except for Impa, of course...

Impa is the only person she tells, begging her to keep it a secret, as well as begging to raise the child she eventually has as her own. [i'm naming him Lo for now] Purah thinks he'll have a better life in Kakariko, and that Impa will be a better caregiver than she could ever.

And Lo does live a good life. Impa takes excellent care of him, raising him like her own. She's able to easily lie about who his father is, claiming he was someone killed by the calamity. Impa does as much as she can, sending him often to see his "aunt", who is always overjoyed to see him.

Lo lives a good life. He marries. Has a daughter, Paya. Everything is great until he and his wife are killed at a relatively young age, leaving Paya in the care of Impa.

Purah is devastated at the news, coming so unglued over it that she unintentionally tells Symin WHY she's so upset over her "nephew".

Symin, the good sweet man that he is promises to take the secret to his grave.

Somewhere around that time, Robbie sends a letter to her about the birth of his son, Grante. His son's mother is obv Jerren (WHO IN CANON IS PURAH'S PREVIOUS ASSISTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

So Purah is a Hot Mess. Buries her feelings deep down about it all. Doesn't want to think about Robbie moving on from her to hER ASSISTANT. Doesn't want to think about how she never told Robbie he had another son. So she buries herself in her work.

Canon catches up around here. She de-ages herself. Link awakens. Calamity Ganon is put to rest. The day is saved.

Then one day, (Later on, to where she's back to the physical age she was at during Age of Calamity probably) while Purah and Symin are working on something, Paya shows up with a letter from Impa.

Poor Paya is all out of sorts. More so than the anxious girl normally is. Purah is trying to not laugh at her as she sits her down at the main table, taking the letter from her.

Paya, “I didn’t read it like grandmother told me not to, but I mean, I’m sure I can guess what it’s already about. She’s been on my case for no reason, Aunt Purah!”

As Purah opens the letter, she feels the blood ABSOLUTELY drain from her face as she begins to read.

Impa's letter reads, “Either you tell her about why she can’t be with Robbie’s son, Grante, or I will.”

She all but shoves Symin out of the building as she preps herself for what to even BEGIN SAYING

Purah, “So...Grante, huh?” she asks, keeping her back to Paya.

“Aunt Purah, I don’t see what the deal is! I thought-- I thought Grandmother would approve! After all- he isn’t just some nobody! He’s /Robbie’s/ son!”

“He sure is,” Purah mumbles to herself.

Purah, “How’d you two meet?” she asks. “He comes through Kakariko now and again as he travels. We met a few years ago, before the calamity was sealed.” Purah hums, blinking hard before yelling out “FUCK” which startles Paya out of her seat. “Aunt Purah-”

“DON’T-- Just! Fuck! This was not how any of this was supposed to go!”

“Please, I don’t understand,” Paya says, about to stand. Purah laughs in a bit of a manic way. “Trust me kid, you’re gonna wanna stay seated.” She sits herself back down, if only to appease Purah.

Purah, “You want me to rip the bandage or take it slow?” “Is this because you and Robbie were involved back before the calamity?" she asks, explaining pictures she's seen on the Sheikah Slate that lead her to think that, as well as Jerren's hatred of Robbie's nickname for the ancient oven of Cherry.

Purah laughs again. “It’s not NOT about that, y’know?” “Trust me! I considered that! It’s why I kept him at arm's length for so long! I figured it would be weird, but-- I don’t know.” Purah shakes her head. “Oh, honey, you don’t even know half of how weird.”

Paya tries to defend, “He’s a good man, I--”

“Look, look, Paya-- I could talk you in circles all day, so let’s just get this over with: You can’t be with Grante because I am not your aunt, and Impa isn’t your grandmother.”

Her face instantly shifts to confusion.

Purah's voice trembles, tears forming in her eyes. “Impa is your aunt, and I am your grandmother.”

More confusion.

“Which means, let’s see-” she thinks on it for a second, still trying her hardest to remain composed. “Grante and Lo would have been half-brothers, making Grante your…?”

INSTANTLY Paya’s horrified. “wAIT WHAT?!”

Purah finds herself falling into a deathly calm. Like she’s just. Watching. Everything happening around her, but not necessarily in her body. “The only people who were ever supposed to know were me and Impa.” She shrugs. “Symin only found out because after I was told your father was killed-- I could barely hold myself together. I never told Robbie-- and I live with that torment every day...”

Paya can barely keep it together, she ends up running out on her, using her powers to poof away before Purah can do anything to try and smooth things over.

- - - - -

aNND THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT SO FAR :D

If you've read this far i love you and welcome to my own personal angst hell :D <3

#purobbie #my fics #kINDA #more like an outline #and a-ok to reblog if u feel so inclined #i've been sitting on this angst nonsense for foREVER and i just gotta share it with the void #EDIT: i thINK? grand niece is the relationship i'm thinking of??? great-niece????#idk i'm a touch drunk don't ask me relationship definitions are Hard

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howwelldoyouknowyourmoon · 3 years

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Doubting the Story of Exodus

By Teresa Watanabe Los Angeles Times religion writer April 13, 2001

It’s one of the greatest stories ever told: A baby is found in a basket adrift in the Egyptian Nile and is adopted into the pharaoh’s household. He grows up as Moses, rediscovers his roots and leads his enslaved Israelite brethren to freedom after God sends down 10 plagues against Egypt and parts the Red Sea to allow them to escape. They wander for 40 years in the wilderness and, under the leadership of Joshua, conquer the land of Canaan to enter their promised land. For centuries, the biblical account of the Exodus has been revered as the founding story of the Jewish people, sacred scripture for three world religions and a universal symbol of freedom that has inspired liberation movements around the globe. But did the Exodus ever actually occur? On Passover last Sunday, Rabbi David Wolpe raised that provocative question before 2,200 faithful at Sinai Temple in Westwood. He minced no words. “The truth is that virtually every modern archeologist who has investigated the story of the Exodus, with very few exceptions, agrees that the way the Bible describes the Exodus is not the way it happened, if it happened at all,” Wolpe told his congregants. Wolpe’s startling sermon may have seemed blasphemy to some. In fact, however, the rabbi was merely telling his flock what scholars have known for more than a decade. Slowly and often outside wide public purview, archeologists are radically reshaping modern understanding of the Bible. It was time for his people to know about it, Wolpe decided. After a century of excavations trying to prove the ancient accounts true, archeologists say there is no conclusive evidence that the Israelites were ever in Egypt, were ever enslaved, ever wandered in the Sinai wilderness for 40 years or ever conquered the land of Canaan under Joshua’s leadership. To the contrary, the prevailing view is that most of Joshua’s fabled military campaigns never occurred—archeologists have uncovered ash layers and other signs of destruction at the relevant time at only one of the many battlegrounds mentioned in the Bible. Today, the prevailing theory is that Israel probably emerged peacefully out of Canaan—modern-day Lebanon, southern Syria, Jordan and the West Bank of Israel—whose people are portrayed in the Bible as wicked idolators. Under this theory, the Canaanites who took on a new identity as Israelites were perhaps joined or led by a small group of Semites from Egypt—explaining a possible source of the Exodus story, scholars say. As they expanded their settlement, they may have begun to clash with neighbors, perhaps providing the historical nuggets for the conflicts recorded in Joshua and Judges. “Scholars have known these things for a long time, but we’ve broken the news very gently,” said William Dever, a professor of Near Eastern archeology and anthropology at the University of Arizona and one of America’s preeminent archeologists.

Dever’s view is emblematic of a fundamental shift in archeology. Three decades ago as a Christian seminary student, he wrote a paper defending the Exodus and got an A, but “no one would do that today,” he says. The old emphasis on trying to prove the Bible—often in excavations by amateur archeologists funded by religious groups—has given way to more objective professionals aiming to piece together the reality of ancient lifestyles. But the modern archeological consensus over the Exodus is just beginning to reach the public. In 1999, an Israeli archeologist, Ze’ev Herzog of Tel Aviv University, set off a furor in Israel by writing in a popular magazine that stories of the patriarchs were myths and that neither the Exodus nor Joshua’s conquests ever occurred. In the hottest controversy today, Herzog also argued that the united monarchy of David and Solomon, described as grand and glorious in the Bible, was at best a small tribal kingdom. In a new book this year, “The Bible Unearthed,” Israeli archeologist Israel Finklestein of Tel Aviv University and archeological journalist Neil Asher Silberman raised similar doubts and offered a new theory about the roots of the Exodus story. The authors argue that the story was written during the time of King Josia of Judah in the 7th century BC—600 years after the Exodus supposedly occurred in 1250 BC—as a political manifesto to unite Israelites against the rival Egyptian empire as both states sought to expand their territory. Dever argued that the Exodus story was produced for theological reasons: to give an origin and history to a people and distinguish them from others by claiming a divine destiny. Some scholars, of course, still maintain that the Exodus story is basically factual. Bryant Wood, director of the Associates for Biblical Research in Maryland, argued that the evidence falls into place if the story is dated back to 1450 BC. He said that indications of destruction around that time at Hazor, Jericho and a site he is excavating that he believes is the biblical city of Ai support accounts of Joshua’s conquests. He also cited the documented presence of “Asiatic” slaves in Egypt who could have been Israelites, and said they would not have left evidence of their wanderings because they were nomads with no material culture. But Wood said he can’t get his research published in serious archeological journals. “There’s a definite anti-Bible bias,” Wood said. The revisionist view, however, is not necessarily publicly popular. Herzog, Finklestein and others have been attacked for everything from faulty logic to pro-Palestinian political agendas that undermine Israel’s land claims. Dever, a former Protestant minister who converted to Judaism 12 years ago, says he gets “hissed and booed” when he speaks about the lack of evidence for the Exodus, and regularly receives letters and calls offering prayers or telling him he’s headed for hell.

At Sinai Temple, Sunday’s sermon—and a follow-up discussion at Monday’s service—provoked tremendous, and varied, response. Many praised Wolpe for his courage and vision. “It was the best sermon possible, because it is preparing the young generation to understand all the truth about religion,” said Eddia Mirharooni, a Beverly Hills fashion designer. A few said they were hurt—"I didn’t want to hear this,” one woman said—or even a bit angry. Others said the sermon did nothing to shake their faith that the Exodus story is true. “Science can always be proven wrong,” said Kalanit Benji, a UCLA undergraduate in psychobiology. Added Aman Massi, a 60-year-old Los Angeles businessman: “For sure it was true, 100%. If it were not true, how could we follow it for 3,300 years?” But most congregants, along with secular Jews and several rabbis interviewed, said that whether the Exodus is historically true or not is almost beside the point. The power of the sweeping epic lies in its profound and timeless message about freedom, they say. The story of liberation from bondage into a promised land has inspired the haunting spirituals of African American slaves, the emancipation and civil rights movements, Latin America’s liberation theology, peasant revolts in Germany, nationalist struggles in South Africa, the American Revolution, even Leninist politics, according to Michael Walzer in the book “Exodus and Revolution.” Many of Wolpe’s congregants said the story of the Exodus has been personally true for them even if the details are not factual: when they fled the Nazis during World War II, for instance, or, more recently, the Islamic revolution in Iran. Daniel Navid Rastein, an Encino medical professional, said he has always regarded the story as a metaphor for a greater truth: “We all have our own Egypts—we are prisoners of something, either alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, overeating. We have to use [the story] as a way to free ourselves from difficulty and make ourselves a better person.” Wolpe, Sinai Temple’s senior rabbi, said he decided to deliver the sermon to lead his congregation into a deeper understanding of their faith. On Sunday, he told his flock that questioning the Jewish people’s founding story could be justified for one reason alone: to honor the ancient rabbinical declaration that “You do not serve God if you do not seek truth.” “I think faith ought not rest on splitting seas,” Wolpe said in an interview. “For a Jew, it should rest on the wonder of God’s world, the marvel of the human soul and the miracle of this small people’s survival through the millennia.” Next year, the rabbi plans to teach a course on the Bible that he says will “pull no punches” in presenting the latest scholarship questioning the text’s historical basis. But he and others say that Judaism has also traditionally been more open to nonliteral interpretations of the text than, say, some conservative Christian traditions. “Among Reform, Conservative and Reconstructionist Jews, there is a much greater willingness to see the Torah as an extended metaphor in which truth comes through story and law,” said Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson, dean of the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies at the University of Judaism in Los Angeles. Among scholars, the case against the Exodus began crystallizing about 13 years ago. That’s when Finklestein, director of Tel Aviv University’s archeology institute, published the first English-language book detailing the results of intensive archeological surveys of what is believed to be the first Israelite settlements in the hilly regions of the West Bank. The surveys, conducted during the 1970s and 1980s while Israel possessed what are now Palestinian territories, documented a lack of evidence for Joshua’s conquests in the 13th century BC and the indistinguishable nature of pottery, architecture, literary conventions and other cultural details between the Canaanites and the new settlers. If there was no conquest, no evidence of a massive new settlement of an ethnically distinct people, scholars argue, then the case for a literal reading of Exodus all but collapses. The surveys’ final results were published three years ago. The settlement research marked the turning point in archeological consensus on the issue, Dever said. It added to previous research that showed that Egypt’s voluminous ancient records contained not one mention of Israelites in the country, although one 1210 BC inscription did mention them in Canaan. Kadesh Barnea in the east Sinai desert, where the Bible says the fleeing Israelites sojourned, was excavated twice in the 1950s and 1960s and produced no sign of settlement until three centuries after the Exodus was supposed to have occurred. The famous city of Jericho has been excavated several times and was found to have been abandoned during the 13th and 14th centuries BC. Moreover, specialists in the Hebrew Bible say that the Exodus story is riddled with internal contradictions stemming from the fact that it was spliced together from two or three texts written at different times. One passage in Exodus, for instance, says that the bodies of the pharaoh’s charioteers were found on the shore, while the next verse says they sank to the bottom of the sea. And some of the story’s features are mythic motifs found in other Near Eastern legends, said Ron Hendel, a professor of Hebrew Bible at UC Berkeley. Stories of babies found in baskets in the water by gods or royalty are common, he said, and half of the 10 plagues fall into a “formulaic genre of catastrophe” found in other Near Eastern texts. Carol Meyers, a professor specializing in biblical studies and archeology at Duke University, said the ancients never intended their texts to be read literally. “People who try to find scientific explanations for the splitting of the Red Sea are missing the boat in understanding how ancient literature often mixed mythic ideas with historical recollections,” she said. “That wasn’t considered lying or deceit; it was a way to get ideas across.” Virtually no scholar, for instance, accepts the biblical figure of 600,000 men fleeing Egypt, which would have meant there were a few million people, including women and children. The ancient desert at the time could not support so many nomads, scholars say, and the powerful Egyptian state kept tight security over the area, guarded by fortresses along the way. Even Orthodox Jewish scholar Lawrence Schiffman said “you’d have to be a bit crazy” to accept that figure. He believes that the account in Joshua of a swift military campaign is less accurate than the Judges account of a gradual takeover of Canaan. But Schiffman, chairman of Hebrew and Judaic studies at New York University, still maintains that a significant number of Israelite slaves fled Egypt for Canaan. “I’m not arguing that archeology proves the Exodus,” he said. “I’m arguing that archeology allows you, in ambiguity, to reach whatever conclusion you want to.” Wood argued that the 600,000 figure was mistranslated and the real number amounted to a more plausible 20,000. He also said the early Israelite settlements and their similarity to Canaanite culture could be explained as the result of pastoralists with no material culture moving into a settled farming life and absorbing their neighbors’ pottery styles and other cultural forms. The scholarly consensus seems to be that the story is a brilliant mix of myth, cultural memories and kernels of historical truth. Perhaps, muses Hendel, a small group of Semites who escaped from Egypt became the “intellectual vanguard of a new nation that called itself Israel,” stressing social justice and freedom. Whatever the facts of the story, those core values have endured and inspired the world for more than three millenniums—and that, many say, is the point. “What are the Egypts I need to free myself from? How does the story inspire me in some way to work for the freedom of all?” asked Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben of Kehillat Israel in Pacific Palisades. “These are the things that matter—not whether we built the pyramids.”

Teresa Watanabe Teresa Watanabe covers education for the Los Angeles Times. Since joining the Times in 1989, she has covered immigration, ethnic communities, religion, Pacific Rim business and served as Tokyo correspondent and bureau chief. She also covered Asia, national affairs and state government for the San Jose Mercury News and wrote editorials for the Los Angeles Herald Examiner. A Seattle native, she graduated from USC in journalism and in East Asian languages and culture.

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2001-apr-13-mn-50481-story.html

_____________________________

Adam, Eve, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses and Joshua – there is no evidence any of them ever lived

The Divine Principle: Questions to consider about Old Testament figures

Unearthing the True Origins of the Bible   – interview with Dr. Andrew Henry

#Exodus #Moses

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booklovingturtle · 4 years

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Cardan finds out how Balekin tortured Jude

This turned out to be longer than planned. As soon as I submitted my last final assignment for the semester, I opened up Tumblr and wrote this for @duarteegreenbriar bc of this post. You can def expect another fic where he finds about Locke *wink wink*

I hope you enjoy it! This is kinda like hc/fic based in QON while Jude is still exiled. Also its unedited because I wanted to get this out before I went on Christmas break.

“We have news for you,” was the Bomb’s way of greeting Cardan one earlier morning. Yellow and pinks drops of sunrise had just barely started to fall over Elfhame when he received the Roach’s message, asking to meet.

Not too far into Jude’s exile and a few months since the old Court of Shadows had been demolished meant that the High King and his Queen’s band of spies were meeting in an old cellar long since forgotten in the palace. The only way to even enter it was through an opening Cardan had used his new-found magic to make. The opening was hidden in a fake armoire of one of their guests rooms. The room itself was perpetual damp, insufficiently furnished, and lacking any of fun memories the old court held. But it was well protected from prying ears and hard to access so it would due.

“How are my favorite pair of mischievous friends?” Cardan smirked reflexively at the serious look on their faces. His tail twitched uncomfortably beneath his clothes.

Mouth in a thin line. Back straight. Eyes narrowed. Hand on nearest weapon. Yes, everything about the way they stood told him whatever he was going to hear would not be pleasant.

“We have news,” the Roach mimicked his companion’s no-nonsense tone.

“So I’ve heard,” Cardan rolled his eyes. He retied the thick red cape he’d thrown on himself to fight of the chill of the cellar. It gave his hands something to do other than twitch at his sides. “Jude?”

“Yes and no.” The Bomb started. “She’s fine. Safe as usually doing some odd jobs for a faerie in the mortal world.”

“This about what happened before her exile.” Roach continued. His beady eyes were unreadable as usual. “We looked into Balekin’s connections with the Sea as you asked us to. We found out what Orlagh had been doing with Jude while she was imprisoned.”

A lump sat in his throat. No matter where she was Jude always felt like the center of his world. He couldn’t go longer than an hour awake or asleep without thinking about her. Her time in the Undersea had only intensified the problem for him.

“Out with it. What did you discover?”

“You already know that Balekin thought he could glamour her. I-” the Bomb looked anxiously at the Roach. They shared a glance and she pulled a weathered envelope from inside her coat. “We think it might be best if you just read this. It’s a collection of court documents detailing what the Undersea would do to her.”

“I don’t understand. Why would they keep records of that? What use do they have of collecting memories of Jude’s torture? I thought those events were mostly private for Orlagh’s own pleasure.”

“We can only assume that there were more people attending them than Jude was led to believe. Perhaps as secret spectators. One can only guess what Undersea’s Queen was plotting.”

“There’s more. Some came from Balekin’s personal journals, uncovered despite Orlagh’s attempt to destroy any evidence of her alliance with him.”

Cardan couldn’t stand their cautious looks. He turned to face the wall behind him. He wasn’t sure if it was possible to feel such a heady mix hate and fear and sorrow and freedom all at one time. Every mention of Balekin’s name was like a blow to the stomach.

“Just tell me what happened.”

“We think it might be best if you read it. You don’t have to. There’s nothing really useful to us if you’d prefer to not know exactly what they did.” The Bomb said I’m a voice usually soft for her.

“She’s right. But I think it’s important that you know regardless. Take the papers. Read them if you want to. When you’re ready.” The Roach said in a way that suggested that it shouldn’t have even been an option to not read what was contained inside the envelope.

Cardan faced them again. The Bomb handed him the collection of papers and left. The Roach stayed back long enough to warn the High King.

“It won’t be easy. What you find in there.”

Cardan looked him in the eyes, trying to find some comfort or understanding that he could lean on. Instead he just found pity.

“Thank you. Tell the Bomb that I appreciate it. No matter what I find.”

Roach nodded and walked out of the cellar. Within seconds it was just Cardan standing in a damp cellar by himself. He stared at the weighted envelop. It felt like it was full of explosive lead, not weathered folded leaves of paper.

Cardan tucked it into his belt and trekked back up to his room. The guards lined outside of his chambers looked curiously at the sight of their High King. He closed the door behind him and stripped off the heavy cloak. Cardan sat at the bench at the foot of his large bed. He wasn’t sure if it was his right to know what happened to her during her imprisonment. If Jude had wanted to share those details with him then she would have.

Cardan stared at an empty corner of his room. A spiraling curl of vines snaked up the walls. White dahlia’s sprung up amidst the green leaves. He’d been practicing how to control his pull of the land for a few months now but it still felt odd to be able to sway nature this way and that.

He thought about the dizzying display of power he’d used when he was face to face with Orlagh. It had felt as if the very land he stood on bowed beneath his fists. He knew she’d never admit it but he remembered the look on Jude’s face when she’d first realized what was happening. She was impressed by all that he’d learned to do while she was gone.

Not gone. Captured. Held prisoner.

Cardan didn’t let himself second guess his decision. He yanked the envelop open and scanned the first few documents.

The mortal is starting to loose it’s sanity. It’s clear even the glamour can’t help it hold on much longer. It is much thinner than it had been when Orlagh first brought it. There are also a considerable number of marks left along its body. Rumor has it the princess herself may be responsible fo them.

Cardan felt like throwing up. He remembered how Jude had looked like a ghost when she'd first returned. All bones and angles when she’d been hard muscle and soft skin.

He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the images of her skin touching his. Of his fingers touching her. The papers in this hands made him sick to his stomach. They called her an it. And said she had marks. Not one but many.

The dahlia’s crumbled up and withered to dust. Hot pink heart-shaped buds bloomed in their place.

He flipped to the next page, recognizing the handwriting of the thick stationary paper. His hand was shaking by the time he go to the end of the torn journal entry.

Jude has been an interesting toy. A fun toy. Her attachment to my brother has been a mystery. I though perhaps she had some sort of secret or piece of black mail to hold over him. Even with the glamor, she hasn’t revealed anything if she does. Though the nature of their relationship is still unknown, I believe I have a way of figuring it out.

Cardan stood abruptly. His body hummed with nervous. His tail wriggled uncomfortably until it came loose. It swung behind him and Cardan had to step away from the bench to keep it from slamming against it. The next journal entry had him regretting he’d stood up.

Any suspicions I’d had of their relationship have been answered. I used a glamour to force her to kiss me as she would kiss my brother. It worked perfectly. It was horrendous. I hate myself for even asking her to do it. For degrading myself enough to touch a creature like her but it worked. She kissed me with all of the fires that mortal are described to feel when they love something. Their bright and easily extinguished fires. She looked at me as though I was the only man she’d ever seen and ever wanted to touch. I almost withdrew the demand but I’m glad that I didn’t. Had I gone back on my command, I never would have understood how deep her affection for him went. She truly cares for him.

The next question is how much does Cardan care for her? It’s clear he’s fascinated by her. Curious about her. But cats are curious of mice when they first chase after them. It’s after they’ve caught them beneath their claws that they bare their fangs. Perhaps that’s what Cardan has been doing. Though knowing the naive nature of my brother’s heart, I highly doubt it. I’ll find out soon enough. for the girl’s sake, I hope it’s later rather than sooner. Should Orlagh let her live long enough to ever see Cardan again, I’d love to watch him destroy that mortal love of hers.

Cardan’s knees gave out from under him. He stared at the letters for what felt like centuries. They didn’t feel real. Balekin had forced Jude to kiss him. He knew she wasn’t glamoured as he thought she had been. That meant Jude had to kiss him completely aware of her actions. She had to force herself for kiss Balekin in a way that would convince him of her love for his brother. Cardan reread it a forth time, praying that somehow the letters would rearrange themselves to tell him a different story.

Distantly he realized why the Bomb and the Roach had opted out of telling him themselves. How did you tell the High King of Elfhame that his abusive older brother forced the woman he loved to kiss him.

The paper crinkled in his hands. Cardan released an angry growl. His blood boiled as he read it for a sixth time. She never mentioned it. Not that they had much time before her banishment to talk through all the details. Nor was it likely that Jude, with her affinity for secrets and lies, would tell him the truth about the situation.

Cardan paced back and forth in the room. If she would just answer his damned letters. If he could just get her to come back to Elfhame and talk to her. To see her. To apologize for what happened between them. Between her and Balekin. He was never more grateful than he was in that moment that she killed him.

After reading the letter Cardan almost wished he’d come back to life just so he could drive the blade through his older brother himself. Cardan heard the crackling fire of the hearth. He threw the stack of papers into the fire. A thick puff of smoke fizzled out of the flames as they blackened into ash.

The ugly words disappeared from existence but the High King would never forget the torturous curves. He’d never forget what the Undersea did to her. What Balekin did to her.

Cardan rushed to his desk, brashly scribbling out a missive to send to Jude.

Jude, he started the letter. Jude. He couldn’t think of anything else to write to her. Jude. Please come back. Just come back. Jude. I’m sorry. I’ll be better. I promise. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude .Jude. Jude.

He’d filled the paper with her name. If he couldn’t see her then maybe the letters of her name would be enough to erase the sickness he felt after opening the envelope.

Author’s Note: I couldn’t figure out how long she was exiled bc I’m still on campus and my books are at home so excuse the ambiguous timeline. If anyone knows the answer to how long she was imprisoned/exiled/when the letters were written please let me know.

#booklovingturtle writes #holly black #Folk of the Air #The Folk of the Air #the cruel prince #the wicked king #queen of nothing #queen of nothing spoilers #tcp #twk #qon #qon spoilers #prince cardan #king cardan #cardan greenbriar #jurdan #jude duarte #cardan x jude #jurdan angst

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feysooah · 3 years

Text

HIHI !

I go by Fany & she/her -- it’s been a looong time since I rped so honestly pretty excited to be here and get this muse on the road :> no lie it’ll probably take me a bit to adjust and get in the groove of things so forgive my extra slowness but I’d love to plot n chat with all of you peeps like actually please lets !! do have a profile page up you’re free to check ( still being worked on shh ), and a rules page that’s really just more an info dump about rping with this mun & muse and some stuff about me in general if you’re curious ye

don’t have any plots up for grabs sadly, yet, but brainstorming is much welcome

here’s some tidbits about muse that might be helpful in the meanwhile tho ;

to start off, where she actually comes from;

From where her lineage diverged the Gwan bloodline has notoriously been known as very powerful divination magick practitioners within the Kyegeum house

alongside being super cordial with other houses and often the other genera as well, but generally aloof in matters that did not strictly concern them. this extended to the normal world and society as well

this was especially true for her grandpa, Gwan Youngchul

who ended up being turned in a surprise attack from a werewolf when the man had been out with his familiar companion -- Seok -- who despite best efforts could not save the witch from this sudden fate, could not stop their treasured bond severing

and despite managing to keep Youngchul alive through the whole ordeal, it would not take long ( if anything, suspiciously quick ) for a certain group of hunters to get whiff of the circumstance and swiftly rid off the ex-witch

Perhaps one bright side to look at was that he was able to communicate last wishes, some of which had already been written on letters hidden for the chance of an unlucky situation such as the one they were currently in arising. one of the wishes being a plea to protect his only daughter Jiyeong

At a tender age of seventeen Jiyeong took the news with surprising grace, not to say she wasn’t devastated and cried but what seemed to be request of her father to bond with his familiar was accepted after a moment of thinking it over, and bonding ritual decided to take place within the week

Jiyeong’s mother had been the one to mainly oversee her training once abilities started manifesting, a Kyegeum witch herself, with very different abilities compared to her husband

It was perhaps no surprise then that Jiyeong became very adamant not long after father’s death to focus studies and abilities on what her father had been so revered for; divination

something his older sister, Jiyeong’s aunt, was known for as well and gladly helped the girl with alongside taking the widowed family under her wing and protection

Jiyong followed after her father’s footsteps in many other things, most notably making friends and upholding favorable relations to the other houses, other genera as well

was endlessly fond of nature magic too, had an abundance of flowers and plants in every nook and cranny, a beautiful garden she tended to with care

many would even say she was touched by the sun itself, vibrant and warm soul she was, nurturing not with only plants but people themselves

eventually met a man who slowly swept Jiyeong off her feet, and not but a few years later they had a child, naming her Sooah. my muse. we’ll get to her in a bit I promise ._.

the man aka Dad is a human, just plain ole’ human. orphaned at a young age so while they wouldn’t know for certain if he has any sliver of witchy magic in him it’s unlikely

insists he fell in love with Jiyong at first sight pretty much. which is frankly understandable she was such a lovely person ;u;

was surprisingly chill about all the, well, witch stuff and whatnot, very curious too but also did want her to be careful and if possible not be that involved with that world

for about next 10 years things went on fairly normally, ya know, living the happy family life, going to work, mingling with the magical side of society

then she started getting sick every so often, out of the blue, however nothing even remotely seeming serious. though it was odd for a witch to be affected with flu so often

she didn’t think it was serious itself, and had a habit of hiding it in the beginning too when it wasn’t even noticeable

until it got to the point it simply could not be ignored, could not be just a passing small thing, could not be cured by any means she knew

and the next thing anyone else knew she was gone. almost like someone had reached and snuffed out her flame, just like that

where in the story we get to Sooah, so;

her early life wasn’t that special in honesty, if you don’t count all the stories her mother told about the secret magical world she too would be part of one day, and the lineage she was to inherit, abilities she would discover, all to be learned together

she had been a deviously curious child, daydreaming every other moment and next begging to see if even take part in what her mother was doing with her own magick

Sooah was quite interested in the guy sometimes accompanying her too, a friendly face she’d grown to know as Seok who she had learned eventually was mom’s bonded familiar, a fact she was entirely too excited about. but who also was before bonded to her grandpa that the girl never got to meet herself

would not fail to mention to him many times how she was going to one day find a familiar to bond with too, someone who was fun and kind and wanted to go on adventures and they would be the bestests of friends ever. and definitely cooler than him

she was always eager to understand and practice the power inside her in general, which she was starting to more and more by the days, before the sudden passing of her mother

it broke her :<

dad too, for a while he was nothing but basically a walking shell. she’s sure neither of them really truly recovered

backtracking just a lil because one very, very important notion was the familiar was of course bound to die soon along with the mom, Sooah was well aware of the fact by then and while she was stricken by grief at the time she was dedicated to finding him, no real plan in mind but urgent to know he was okay, like it would somehow make the situation any better

she did end up meeting him, understandably shaken himself but apparently already accepted own fate-- which at the moment did not sit well with her at all and Sooah, not even yet 14 years old, decided she was not going to let him just wither away and die alone how horrible would that be, how sad for that to be the end when her mom had exuded everything opposite, she was not going to let that happen no matter what

which meant the only thing she could actually do was to bond with Seok and by sheer force of will and maybe some tears - definitely some tears - did manage to convince for him to agree to it

a whole mess

she doesn’t regret it one bit, absolutely refuses to, yet does occasionally wonder if it was the right thing to do or even fair to him

but ultimately she’s glad he is in her life, aiding in any matter she may require, definitely now seen as a big brother she never had-- if she’s not too busy calling him grandpa bc seriously he’s old as all fuck. it still surprises her from time to time

( okay but it is hilarious to think Seok going from being as old as he was, looking about 40 to then having a 14 year old’s body lmaoo )

bless the grandma tho she was really a rock in this emotional time, even though she was dealing with the loss of her daughter, after having lost her husband so early in their lives too !

she kinda took over seeing to Sooah’s teaching and helping in any other way as well, more than welcoming to having her stay over for however long she needed or wanted to

she’s still thankfully alive and has a good relationship with both Sooah and Seok ;u;

Dad on the other hand.

they have both moved out of the house the family used to occupy with mom, into their own places

also have a somewhat strained relationship nowadays, more to do with his insistence on getting her to quit all the witch stuff cause it’s dangerous yadda yadda and she’s obviously not going to do that

not to say she’s not paranoid herself, and knowing how both her mom and grandpa died barely halfway into their lives even more so

it’s not only made her fearful of same fate but made her swear to stay away from any sort of divination magic if she can help it, somehow convinced that to be a factor in all of it

does have randomly prophetic dreams though, but nothing that has been major or necessarily that important so she’s.. okay with that. kinda. does keep a dream journal just in case

It’s coming up 10 years after the mom’s death, so I’m sure there’s been some rumors or other witches wondering if the Gwan family was just cursed or something, probably mostly from older and the more traditional types. doesn’t help Soaah’s dad being a plain human. or that she’s not sure if that might just actually be the case oof

as thus she’s definitely a lot more withdrawn when it comes to the other houses, or even Kyegeum themselves, doesn’t exactly feel like part of the community if you will

but is friendly to everyone and usually can be outwardly seen as having nothing weird or unusual going on beyond what you’d expect of a typical witch in this day and age

designs and sometimes makes jewelry for The Gem Lab actually, or if an individual knows to ask her personally Sooah does take custom work too ! and yes they all have very carefully picked gems or crystals, often imbued with enchantments of basic protection or if one wants something very specific she can probably do it

is kinda rich?? like grandpa was very up in there and left part of his inheritance to the mom, who of course left part of hers to Sooah. who doesn’t really like using that money as it is so it’s just sitting in a whole separate account. probably partly also because she’s not exactly the best when it comes to handling finances so. yeah.

uhh

this is so long already god I’m not gonna get into her personality or any of that now, yall can figure it out along the way or read up what I have on her page -- which isn’t much yet but it is something !! I’m def figuring her out myself too as I go haha

so ay if you wanna plot drop by my ims please ;; I do have a discord if you feel that’s easier too just ask for it !

also go show some love to Seok ouo

#( ;―intro )#( ;―lore )#( ;―ooc )#lies down- there we go #so I ramble hello guess some things haven't changed #psa: some things have been revised cause I'm a dumdum. nothing too big or what directly relates to muse so no worries!

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thetradeway · 3 years

Text

Session 40 10 Apr 2021: Thunderbuns and Timothy P. Fuckapple

Sophie and Matthew are on their way back from somewhere, so we start a little later than advertised.

Quick recap - where were we? Most of us were having dinner with Mirt, Kessler had left, and also Tarragon not long after, having made Brother Charity wear her drink.

Tarragon arrives back at the Dagger and Kessler has her translate what she managed to scribble down of Carl’s book:

The rest eventually arrive back, in various states of drunkenness. We have eaten, so the DM exempts us all from hangovers. Yay!

Brother Charity, Matthew tells us, had all the sinful posh foods including foie gras.

Joe has added character sheets for the baby flumph, and Simon the mouse who has rat stats (including a whole hit point!) but is not a rat. Did Gideon add a flumph pouch to his sleeve? Yes, his friend Bromrick helped him make one.

Okay, so! Are we all in the taproom, and does Kessler want to share what she learned about Carl? She wants to have a quiet word with Brother Charity about it. She’ll have a time of it, Matthew says; Brother Charity has wedged a chair under his door handle so he can be undisturbed while he calms Brother Carl down.

Sophie, OOC: “He’s dead, how calm do you want him? Resting heart rate of zero beats per minute!”

Kessler knocks on Brother Charity’s door. He ignores it. “He has to come out at some point!” Or she could just tell the party we’ve been bringing a zombie around with us, or tell the bar staff he’s been keeping dead animals in his room. Still nothing. (Matthew, OOC: “Riveting game playing, isn’t it?”)

The rest of us make Perception checks, Ahleqs rolls the best as he is perpetually on edge waiting for danger, even in his sleep. We all roll well enough to hear Kessler banging on Charity’s door. Ahleqs listens at his door to see what the exasperated goblin sounds are about. He opens his door and asks her what she’s doing; she says she wanted a word with Brother Charity.

She makes a Perception check - she can’t hear anything coming from Brother Charity’s room. She turns back to Ahleqs and asks him to go and get Gideon and she will get the rest of us. She wants us all to meet in her room.

He does as he’s told, and goes and knocks on Gideon’s door. He throws it open; he is wearing his little jammies.

Ahleqs: “Kessler’s being weird.”

Gideon: “And?”

We gather in her room. What has she woken us up at this ungodly hour for?

She tells us about the Identify spell - Brother Carl is under the influence of an Animate Dead spell. None of us are especially shocked by this news. She says Brother Charity won’t speak to her.

Ahleqs notes that Charity seemed upset because we haven’t really given him a chance.

Kessler says that Carl told her Charity ‘saved’ him. Gideon doesn’t seem worried, he just wishes Charity had been honest about it!

Do we think Carl can communicate, has he perhaps told Charity that Kessler knows? It’s a possibility.

We should hear him out before we burn him. We’ll wait for him to come down to breakfast and ask him about it. Wait, let’s check and make sure they haven’t done a runner. Melaina climbs out of the window in Kessler’s room and around the outside of the Dagger to Charity’s room to see if he’s in there. She looks into the room - which is empty. The window is closed, so he likely didn’t go out that way.

He’s scarpered! We go downstairs to ask the bar staff if they’ve seen him.

Well we don’t have to ask, because the Brothers are in the taproom eating breakfast. Well, shit. Okay so maybe they didn’t scarper.

Ahleqs, nervously: “Good morning, normal to see you.”

Brother Charity calls us straight away on Kessler’s investigation; Ahleqs asks why he didn’t just tell us Carl was dead. Well it’s not a great opener with a new group of people, Charity explains.

Besides, we’re dragging Tarragon around with us.

Tarragon: “… Excuse me?”

Charity: “She came back from the dead, I don’t see the difference.”

Tarragon, indignant: “I’m not literally rotting!”

We have judged Carl, so we must be experts on his condition, yes? We know everything there is to know? Charity asks.

Tarragon: “No, that’s why we’re asking!”

“I see.”

He insists he’s not a necromancer. He cast spells of the necromantic variety, but so did the Unicorn to resurrect Tarragon -

Gideon, out of the blue: “How does the group feel about summoning demons?”

Us: “ - …”

Kessler goes to the bar; it’s too early for this conversation.

(BC is smiling and drinking his coffee as we have a sidebar about this.)

Tarragon asks Charity to enlighten us about Carl’s condition.

He shows us a piece of paper with a drawing on it by Carl, of all of us holding hands.

He says that Carl was horrified when Kessler demanded he undress her and threatened to kill him.

Kessler lets slip that she was born in a human household, while Charity is berating her by openly making assumptions about goblins, the way we’re making assumptions about Carl.

Tarragon asks about how he came to animate Carl; he says he found his corpse in a field and cast a spell on it. Carl had been bitten by a snake, and Charity happened upon him. He says his previous zombie had been eaten by a bear.

Wait, his previous zombie? When did he start raising zombies?

Two hundred and three years ago.

“Are you undead?”

No!

How did he come to raise zombies two hundred or so years before he was born?

He says that’s an interesting story, and he might tell us if we share something about ourselves. He starts by turning to Ahleqs, while Kessler goes to the bar and orders a keg of everything and as much food as they can bring to our table.

Jirr, seeing her approach: “Gonna be one of those, huh?”

It’s a bit early for Charity, he’ll stick with coffee. (Not at all like Matthew, who will have a PINT OF WHISKEY! That’s roleplaying for you.)

Charity asks about Ahleqs’s wild magic; what would he say was the most significant event to happen to him other than the acquisition of his magical powers on the day he discovered he had them?

Ahleqs stares into middle distance. He says that’s when he escaped; he never found out why they did it to him, but he’s not going back.

Woah.

(Charity tries to backpedal, and offers Ahleqs a scotch.)

Before Ahleqs can elaborate, his amulet starts to pulse and Mr Pickles appears. He looks around the table and his gaze settles on Carl.

“What’s this?”

Ahleqs, relieved: “Mr Pickles will sort everything out.”

Mr Pickles sniffs Carl. Ahleqs says he’s just coming around to the idea that Carl might be okay.

Mr. Pickles, sniffily: “it’s nothing to be frightened of. It’s just magic. Low magic, but just magic.”

Charity: “How dare you!”

Mr. Pickles, ignoring him: “I have an offer for you and your friends, anyone who can cast arcane magic, from the temple. We have a mission that you and your team would be perfect for.” He will explain further, but not here.

Tarragon says she can’t cast arcane magic, can she come anyway? Yes, all can do the mission, but the reward only benefits arcane casters. (Tarragon says that’s fine - everyone here has helped her with stuff before.) Mr. Pickles tells us to eat our breakfast and join him later.

Ahleqs talks about the glowing orb he found, which he thought at first was elf poo; it has stopped glowing now so he thinks it might be something else.

Melaina, nodding: “My poos don’t stop glowing.”

Ahleqs takes Carl’s picture and puts it in the bag of holding. Aww.

Charity comforts Carl as we leave, rubbing his back. “See, I told you no-one was going to kill you.”

Duncan, OOC: “Guys, I think I love Carl!”

Charity makes a Perception check; he is not shit-hot at these. He rolls a 15, perceiving a medium amount of things. He spots one of Mirt’s paper cranes; he immediately pockets it without drawing attention to it. (There is something for him in the handout section of his journal. He will read that anon.)

Tarragon rolls Perception as well; she sees a black cat looking at her. It goes “PSSST!” She shakes her head and keeps walking.

We walk back through the fancy part of town where we were last night, toward the House of Wonder.

Ahleqs has been to the House of Wonder before, yes? He leads us there, excitedly telling us all how good it is. This is the temple if the Goddess of Magic, in the middle of the Sea Ward. Mr. Pickles is waiting for us.

Ahleqs asks him, if he gets really good at magic, so he hardly ever kills any of his friends, can he have a set of those robes?

“Of course, my boy.”

Gideon takes a look at the pillars - at ADV because of his Stonecunning, which he is going to use EVERY session. They’re pulsing with magic. Can he do an arcana check?

Yes. at ADV as well. 26! He is going to fondle those stones until he unlocks all their secrets! They are conduits for magic. Each pillar channels a different form, adding to the ambient magic in the temple.

We have to peel him off the stone at this point. “What are we here for, again? Missions! Yes!”

Mr Pickles, somehow raising one eyebrow at Gideon even though he doesn’t have any: “Are you done?”

Gideon, still looking longingly at the pillars: “Yes.”

Mr. Pickles says there have been developments in the Shadow Weave. He would like us to undertake a journey to Candlekeep to find a book. Are we familiar with the Castle of Tomes?

Ahleqs makes a History check. He is from Baldur’s Gate so he can do it at ADV. 14; he has heard of it but never been there. It’s the greatest repository of knowledge in the world, guarded by monks. People come from all over to seek knowledge.

Do we just ask them for this book?

Mr Pickles asks Charity if he’s been to Candlekeep before; he has, once or twice. As he knows, the monks require a gift for entry; a book that is not already in their possession.

Melaina: “We could write one!”

Sadly this probably won’t work as they are stringent about the quality of the books they accept, and Mr. Pickles doesn’t know how we would get a good one. His head priest will write us a letter which should convince the monks to let us have the one we want to take away, but we must find a book that will be acceptable to the monks in order to gain entry.

Hmm.

Poetry, arcane arts, history, all of these would be acceptable. Erotic fiction? Ahleqs knows where we can find a lot of that.

Mr Pickles wants to talk about the reward; Charity already has a familiar, he says. (Does he mean Carl?) Would any of the arcane casters like a bond with such a creature? Ahleqs brings out Simon. “I already have one.”

Melaina says she would like ‘a little aminal...’

Mr. Pickles says they could bind Simon to Ahleqs as a familiar so that if something happens to him, he could be brought back. (Mouse Frumpkin!) He thinks Simon would love that; yeah, let’s do that.

Mr Pickles leads him to a chamber - Ahleqs skips after him, he’s so excited.

Ahleqs can add Find Familiar to his spell list - it will only summon Simon, and Mr Pickles will show him how to cast it as a ritual.

Mr Pickles offers the same to Gideon, for his flumph; he accepts.

Mr Pickles returns again and offers Kessler a familiar. She’s not sure she should keep a pet; she’d probably lose it.

Charity and Ahleqs both say “Or eat it” at the same time. Ahleqs holds his hand up for a high five; Charity is briefly confused before Ahleqs explains the concept of high fives. Charity feels included in the group for the first time, and accepts the high five.

Mr Pickles, ignoring all this, tells Kessler to trust him - this is a good idea. She finally agrees. Mr Pickles leads her into the ritual chambers and performs the ritual. Upon casting, a curious creature emerges from the portal created. It looks like a tiny clockwork beholder.

Mr. Pickles asks if Melaina wants a familiar - “Uhhh yes please that sounds awesome.”

She can choose which aminal she wants and let the DM know as and when, but she can add the spell now.

Joe goes to move on - and Sophie suddenly knows what she wants: “Weasel! Weasel!”

Weasel it is. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2CTVqt2wxU

Mr Pickles can’t help us with finding a suitable book; he will think on it. Will we be around for a while?

Do we have to sort of guess which books they have at Candlekeep already, or do they have a published catalogue?

There is some sort of divination magic we can use to discern whether or not they have a particular book. They will take annotated copies if they’re interesting, or first edition copies, of books they already have.

Tarragon makes a Perception check - the black cat is sitting at the entrance to the temple, watching.

Tarragon waves to the cat - it raises its paw. It stretches, then lopes slowly toward her.

“By the gods but you are stupid!” says the cat, aloud, in Common. “I have been trying to get your attention for ages! Come to the shrines of nature!”

Tarragon says she will go along at some point today, and the cat leaves.

“Well now, run along,” says Mr. Pickles, lighting his pipe.

He says as we leave that he has something special for Ahleqs if we do well.

We go to the shrines of nature. (Ahleqs at least will come with; it sounds nice and relaxing.)

Charity and Melaina get chatting; after a while Charity notes, “I think this is the most we’ve spoken, you know.”

Melaina, immediately: “Fuck off.”

We arrive at the shrines of nature - Amithrel, the High Druidess, approaches us. She says she has been speaking to her colleagues about Tansy. Some have heard about this type of curse or poison before - there is a book that might be of benefit. She says the cat told her that we might be travelling to Candlekeep soon? This would be a perfect opportunity.

It involves a ritual cast on the heartstone that Melaina gave Tarragon. It’s in a book of ancient rituals and spells. It fell into the hands of a lore keeper and ended up in Candlekeep. The monks likely won’t part with it, so Tarragon will have to find a way of copying it.

Mr Pickles is going to give us the title of the book he wants us to borrow. The High Druidess can’t remember the name of the druid who told her about the book, but he will be coming here soon. Are we okay with waiting a few days for him to arrive, before we leave for Candlekeep?

Yeah, we need to find a book to give the monks anyway.

Amithrel asks if we’ve thought about how we’re going to get to Candlekeep. It’s about 900 miles by land. The best way to make the journey would be by boat; didn’t we have a friend with a boat? Didn’t he look like this guy (Charity) but ‘infinitely more handsome’? Perhaps we could contact him, he has friends at the Docks Ward who could get a message to him.

We could charter a boat, couldn’t we? Charity asks, clearly reluctant about contacting Gunna. Might be a little expensive, though. But Gunna was pretty clear that he was off doing family things, he might not want to come back just to ferry us along the Sword Coast. If he’s two weeks out, it’ll take him two weeks to come back, Charity points out.

Ahleqs thinks we should either buy passage or gain employment as protection on a ship. Or we could ask Larissa, maybe she could get us passage?

Speaking of Lord Walrus, does Charity have anything he needs to be getting on with? He says if we’re near the Dagger he’ll go and look for some books and - the thing… (no idea what that means. Oh! Probably the Harper mission from Mirt.)

We head back to the Dagger and Charity and Carl excuse themselves to go off and look for ‘stuff’.

Kessler goes to the Watchful Order to see if they have any books that might be suitable. Ahleqs accompanies her. We just need to borrow one, right?

No, it would have to stay at Candlekeep.

Melaina: “Well they’re not called CandleBorrow.”

Charity puts his head back in the door to the Dagger to ask Gideon if he would like to accompany him and Carl on his mission to find a talking horse. Wait, what?

Gideon agrees, apparently not needing to ask any kind of follow-up questions. Where is this horse? Charity says it’s pulling around some kind of dray. (A wagon or cart type thing.)

Gideon asks Ria about drays; who around here might own one?

Ria says there are some companies, and some independents who own one. They’re mostly to be found here, though they travel all over the city.

Ahleqs has the Urchin background, so he knows his way around cities - comes from always keeping his eyes peeled for escape routes. Sadly, he’s already gone to the Watchful Order with Kessler, so that’s of no help here.

Gideon and Charity go off in search of the talking horse. Goes by the name of Maxeene apparently.

Perhaps they could take a dray carriage on a tour around the city? Would be a good way to get to know their way around. Well, not much use if they’re looking for a particular horse, unless they happen to get the one dray that Maxeene pulls.

Tarragon and Melaina saw Ahleqs and Kessler leave for the Watchful Order; they also see Gideon and Charity (and Carl) looking around the street and arguing heatedly. Tarragon goes back to her wine and Melaina plays excitedly with her new weasel; neither seem to care overmuch about what Brother Charity is doing.

Outside, Charity approaches a guard to ask about the dray. Where do they run to and from?

“Any particular service? They run the length and breadth of the city.”

Any that have violet flowers as their emblem? Or horses that wear a violet flower?

The guard looks at him funny. “Are you drunk?”

Charity makes a persuasion check - a 13.

The guard isn’t sure that any of the horses have taken to wearing flowers in their hair.

(This seems to be getting him nowhere; maybe Charity should look them up in the Yellow Parchments instead.)

He gives up and walks away from the guard. He doesn’t quite know how to talk to ‘the lower-downs’.

He and Gideon make Survival checks; Gideon spots some dray tracks.

“Onward!!”

He splats his way down the street, following the tracks which lead to the market. There are a lot of drays going to and fro; if they found a vantage point they might get a better chance at finding the one they’re after.

“Maxeene!” Gideon shouts, in desperation and to no avail. Can they get onto a roof? It’ll be a DEX check. Would that be untoward? Would people think he’s a loon?

Wait - the familiars! Gideon could send his flumph! He sits on a bench and instructs Charity not to let anyone pickpocket him, as he’ll be blind and deaf as he looks through the flumph’s eyes.

He whispers into his sleeve and sends out the flumph, warning it not to talk to strangers. Baby flumph makes a Perception check as it floats into the air. Gideon brains over the relevant information: A horse with a violet flower behind its left ear.

Through the flumph’s eyes, Gideon spots the horse in question. He points, but he’s seeing through the flumph and still sitting on the bench so he’s pointing at the ground.

Charity forgets that Gideon is deaf while he’s using this spell and demands to know what he’s pointing at.

(Matthew, OOC: “This whole scene is a combination of See No Evil Hear No Evil and Weekend at Bernie’s.”)

Gideon withdraws from the flumph’s vision and he and Charity go in search of the horse. They catch it up and Gideon walks alongside the dray and asks the driver what time he finishes; the driver says he’s not his type.

Is there room for three more on this dray? Gideon asks, ignoring this. The driver pulls to a halt and introduces himself as Marcus. He says yeah, we’ve got no passengers. Fare is 4 cp; Gideon throws him 12. They scatter; Marcus scrabbles around to pick them up and tells them begrudgingly to get on.

Another human already on the dray introduces himself as Morgan. He is Marcus’ brother, and he gives Gideon the tickets.

They ride around the city on the dray, while Marcus happily chatters away to them. They make Insight checks; if one of them keeps Marcus talking, the other might be able to make contact with Maxeene.

They decide instead to take a tour of the city. They spend a very pleasant afternoon, even stopping for sandwiches. Finally they reach the last stop. Do they ask to go along to the stables…? Would that be untoward? Marcus is looking at them like he’d like them to get off his dray now.

Gideon suggests posing as inspectors. Charity loves that idea, “but. We have taken the entire tour. That might be a hard sell. But it’s not a terrible idea.” He suggests following the dray after they get off, finding the stables, and then engaging Operation Pretending to be Inspectors.

Gideon gets up slowly because they’ve been sitting down for hours and he’s a creaky old dwarf, and hops off the dray. Charity tries to attract the attention of the horse, but it’s tricky. He makes a Performance check - a ten.

Maxeene looks at him blankly. She and the other horses are untied and led down the alley, but Charity and Gideon have seen the direction they went.

Matthew wants to go outside for a cigarette, so we cut back to Tarragon and Melaina; Melaina is mucking about with her weasel, and Tarragon is busy getting wine drunk. Over to the other group then…

Ahleqs and Kessler have gone to the Watchful Order (Mina is not responding so we pick up with Ahleqs until she returns).

He tells the librarian he is looking for esoteric knowledge. Could they direct him towards the rare book section?

Is he looking to buy rare books?

Potentially…

As a paid member he can read or borrow anything here, but they don’t sell stuff. The librarian can recommend a number of good bookshops. Some Guilds might deal in rarer volumes, too, she adds...

Ahleqs makes an Insight check - 18. The librarian is hinting that thieves’ guilds or Xanathar might have something akin to what he’s looking for. Ahleqs is way out of his depth, but nods as if he knows what’s going on.

He will peruse the shelves here anyway, he says.

Kessler pops back in and says that we recently did some work for someone who might be able to acquire rare books; what about Shanks? Perhaps her lot could steal to order? We might even get a discount on services if Melaina goes along on the job. (Sophie, enthusiastically: “Yeah!”)

Matthew is back from smoking now so we pick back up with Charity, Carl and Gideon.

It’s early evening by now. There are people around, they are still in the vicinity of the market. Charity finds a door to the stables, but it’s locked. He makes an Investigation check and rolls a 19. He could probably pick it without too much trouble but he doesn’t have thieves’ tools. They could go and get Melaina…?

(Sophie OOC: “Just text me.”)

Charity is reluctant to ask ‘the elf’ for help. She’ll just say no. Well she won’t say no, she’ll say ‘fuck off’. He asks Gideon to go, as she’s more likely not to swear at him.

“What? No! We can do this by ourselves! There must be a way. Is there an open window or something…?” Gideon looks for anything that doesn’t involve lock picks or asking the elf for help. Does he perhap have a spell…?

He looks for a spare key under a bucket by the door or something. He makes an Investigation check and gets a 22 - he spies a key on top of the doorway! He points it out to Charity who reaches up and grabs it. Gideon arcana checks the door to see if it’s trapped; it is not. Well, not magically, anyway.

They enter the stable. There are four horses in here - one of which has a violet flower behind her left ear.

“Maxeene,” Brother Charity whispers. She looks at him but doesn’t respond. He shows her the Harper button. She greets him and asks what she can do for him.

He says he has been sent on a mission and introduces himself, Carl and Gideon. He is here looking for information, and has been told that Maxeene might know about agents in hiding with ‘an unpronounceable name’. Would she be so kind as to let him know what she knows, and Charity is willing to pay for the information.

DM, laughing: “Are you offering the horse money…?”

Matthew, OOC: “Nah, like sugar lumps or something.”

Maxeene tells him that sugar lumps are bad for the teeth.

“I know that, I’m a doctor.”

Gideon, scoffing: “No you aren’t!”

Charity, miffed: “Bloody well am.”

Maxeene interrupts the squabble to say that she gave a ride to a sun elf and a half orc two days ago, dropping them at the Yawning Portal. They spoke of planting agents in the guild, in a weird way. The Xanathar guild, their enemies. They might be Zent agents.

Charity makes notes on his letter, while Carl holds the ink pot for him in his open hand.

Maxeene says he could seek them out at the Yawning Portal.

DM: “Kessler might know about tha - ”

Gideon, immediately: “No! We don’t need any help from the goblin!”

After some History checks, they know that the Yawning Portal is a famous tavern in Waterdeep. There was a tower that exploded, now it’s a portal to the Undermountain. Famous tourist attraction. Lots of adventurers pay money to be lowered down the hole to seek their fortunes.

This is starting to sound like more than a two-person adventure...

Gideon asks Maxeene why a horse of her ability is pulling a carriage? She is an agent for the Harpers, she tells him. You get to see all sorts in her line of work. (The irony.)

Charity says he thinks his job is done - apparently all Mirt wanted was to know what Maxeene knew.

But wait! Charity has a plan. He thinks they should go to the Yawning Portal and ask around. But in order to forestall any investigations, they should disguise themselves. How would Gideon feel about dyeing his beard to pass himself off as a different dwarf? He supposes he could. (Charity pulls out a little bottle that says ‘Just for Dwarves’ on it.)

Charity rubs some boot polish into Gideon’s beard, and they set off for the Yawning Portal. Wait - they need names!

Gideon, after a short pause: “Sledge Rock-Eater.” And what about Brother Charity? “Human names, human names… Paul?”

Charity says he will go with ‘Timothy’. (Is that a Tal’Doreian name?)

Before they go in, Charity suggests that Carl wait for them in an alleyway. He casts Disguise Self to look like a ‘cribbly old man’ (direct quote) and plops his wig on his head. (He could have given himself hair with Disguise Self, but anyway.) He also has ‘a manky eye and a hump’.

Does Gideon have a weapon? He blusters. “I use magic, I don’t usually bonk things.”

Carl offers his mace; “It’s all yours,” he says, the first words we’ve ever known him to speak - something that seems to pass everyone by.

(The scene that follows is not easily captured in text form which is a shame, as much of the nuance and high comedy - not to mention the abominable accents - are completely lost. My apologies to Thunderbuns and Ross Kemp.)

They enter the Yawning Portal. Trophies line the walls, and there is a big hole in floor into which people are being lowered on a rope. The bards here are really good, and obviously well paid.

They start to look around for a half orc and a sun elf who are together. Charity spots a balcony that runs around the edge of the main tap room. From his position he can see a male sun elf standing talking to a female half orc. That seems promising. They are hoping to get their names, and to find out if they are Zent agents.

Publicly, the Zent mercenary guild have a respectable face but they have a shady reputation. They are called the Black Network in underground circles, and most don’t trust their intentions. They undercut the prices of other mercenary guilds. They’ve been at war with Xanathar’s guild, who are also fighting with the Shadow thieves.

Charity, getting ready to make his move: “What was your name again, Thunderbuns?” He suggests dropping Xanathar’s name in a negative way as they walk by, initiating a conversation and seeing what they can glean.

Charity gets fully into character as Ross Kemp as he orders whiskey for himself and Gideon at the bar. It costs 2 copper, but he flicks the barmaid a silver piece and tells her to ‘buy herself summink pretty’. She winks and stuffs the silver piece into her cleavage.

Charity slams the whiskey and makes the face that people who aren’t used to drinking whiskey make. A couple of people at a nearby table notice and start to laugh; Ross Kemp points to the glass and tries to insist that it was ‘the shit stuff’. It’s unclear whether they believe him or not, but it seems unlikely.

Right, time for phase two.

They go up to the balcony, talking shit about Xanathar’s guild in the worst cockney accents anyone has ever heard. The half orc girl is picking at her nails with a dagger and looks up to warn them to watch what they’re saying.

Charity tells her he is looking to get revenge on Xanathar and his Guild - “They’ll rue the day they crossed Timothy P Fuckapple!”

(Duncan is crying with laughter by this point, and we’re all not far behind him)

The sun elf says if he buys them a drink, will they go and drink it somewhere else?

Timothy P Fuckapple asks gruffly if they would be open to a game of cards…?

The sun elf, looking down his nose: “Absolutely not.”

Timothy P. Fuckapple/Ross Kemp: “What if I sweeten the deal with a bit of cheddar cheese, by which I do mean money?”

Still no.

Timothy says he was told that if a person wanted revenge on Xanathar then they should find two individuals who look like the elf and the orc, but clearly he has been misinformed.

The elf asks, do they have business with the Zent? Are they wanting to hire mercenaries?

Thunderbuns: “No - we wanted to join.”

The elf falls about with laughter. “Did you hear that, Yagra? These buffoons want to join!”

They have a name! Thank fuck for that…

Thunderbuns has an idea, and says he will bet the elf a gold piece that Timothy can guess his name. The elf sighs. “Fine, if you will leave inside a minute.”

Timothy makes his guess - “Silver Frond!” he says, confidently.

“No. My name is Davil Starsong, as anyone here could have told you.” Thunderbuns dutifully hands the elf a gold piece.

“And this here is Yagra Stonefist - she will happily see you to the door.” Yagra pushes them both toward the door; they offer no resistance. They have both names, yes!

Charity writes the information he has discovered on the back of the paper crane, once out of sight in the alley. The crane takes flight and disappears.

And with that the buddy cop movie ends, as does the session. Duncan has two new abs from laughing. (I don’t think this is the last we’ve seen of Thunderbuns and Timothy P. Fuckapple.)

#dnd #thetradeway #campaign diary

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lesyah · 4 years

Text

guardian stream of consciousness watchthrough ep 6-14

Episode 6

The way guo Changcheng and da qing just made it seem like that girl is dead 😭

Ope gcc reminds csz of his little brother?? 👀👀👀

He’s like suddenly I like u

Oooooh flower person!!!!!!!!!!

She’s back. But sus. Hmmmmm....

Zyl is the person equivalent of batting your eyelashes at someone for what you want

Wei wei is very suspicious 🤔

Mirror stuff hmmmmmmm

Talking to a mirror...creepy

I really can’t tell which one is real and I can’t tell if he’s being duped

I love when shen wei shows up as the black robe envoy

The way zyl showed up just to be like “break up with your fiancé”

The way da qing cuddled up to zyl 😭😭😭 so much like a cat

They broke into shen wei’s house wtffff

The way shen wei knew immediately and was like eh whatever

That tapestry zyl sent shen wei lmaoooo wtf

He bugged him ahhhhhhh that’s so rude!!!!!

Probably illegal too

Omg these guys trying to rob the BLACK ROBE ENVOY

he was just like

Episode 7

Omfg zyl just showed up to save him

Even shen wei was like 👀👀

Omg the way shen wei trapped him into admitting he was in the apartment and then just made him sweat about it before moving on

LOL king

Ope the robbers died

Oh just one of them

Why are they video chatting instead of talking face to face

He was showing them different types of bears wtf hahahahaha

Lin jing is so dramatic Hahahaha

They just broke into that guys house what on earth

Super selfish of this dude to write that stuff and knowing people were dying cause of it. Yikes.

Oop he died.

Shen Wei and zyl are having a moment!!! Really truly Shen Wei acts so suspiciously all the time Hahahah he’s so lucky that zyl likes him enough to be like eh whatever 🤷🏻‍♀️

Episode 8

Omg the initiation of guo changcheng!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!

The weapon they made for him lol

It really is suited to him HAHA

Why is zhu Hong so upset about this????????????????

Relax

Da qing was also like “relax”

OMG SHEN WEI DONATED THE BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA

ZYL’S FACE

He was like

Same Da qing same

Oop creepy symbol and umprompted flashback 👀👀👀

“Thanks for helping me move” he says as he carries the boxes completely by himself

Chu shuzhi was just like ur welcome

The flower gal is so cool

Kick his butt shen wei

Ahhh shen wei taking care of zyl

🥺

His apartment is so gross

He tucked him innnnnnnn

He’s cleaning his apartment HAHA

He straight up intercepted the letter from the underworld. Very fortunate.

Oh no the ghostly girl fainted

HE JUST SAT THERE WATCHING HIM THE WHOLE NIGHT???????

Zyl asked the same thing and shen wei was just like “and?”

Episode 9

Omg..................he got her a sex doll.....

Chu shuzhi is so rude to gcc

Hahahaha

Omg shen wei broke down in the exact road they were passing on. Terrible luck.

Zyl is like WTF

I can’t tell if zyl is driving him cause he’s suspicious or because he just wants to hang out with shen wei

Both probably

Ahhhhh wang Zheng you make me so sad with your tears 🥺🥺🥺

Ew what are those gross monsters 😭😭

The way shen wei didnt even try and stop zyl from laying on him.........embarrassing

The way he adjusted the pillow for him multiple times.....embarrassing pt. 2

He gave shen wei his coat???????????????? Ok

Bro a supreme north face? Literally the biggest flex

This village is sketchy

Yikes about that story wang Zheng told

The village tried to scare them????? Why????? Hahahahaha

Oh great trench coat guy

Oooh flashback for zyl uh oh

She was executed?!!!!! Wtf?!!

Episode 10

She drugged them ??? Wow

They’re so suspicious of shen wei

Very dramatic flash backs

Zhu Hong is trying to hypnotize shen wei 😭😭😭

Shen Wei sending a warning for it to be immediately ignored 🤣🤣🤣🤣

He shows up and is like why did u ignore me

Zyl is like 😒

Shen. Wei. Is. A. BADDIE!!!!!

Ohhhh so there’s HISTORY with wang Zheng and the pillar boy

HISTORY history

Episode 11

Gcc crying for wang Zheng and her bf

Omg when zyl asked if he wanted to work in the archives and the guy just grunted Hahahaha I laughed forever

The way shen wei just fainted after drinking one cup of alcohol to stop zyl from drinking more........omg. Lan wangji energy.

The way he just played the uno reverse card on zhu Hong hahahahaha

He hypnotized her to never hypnotize anyone again 😭🤣

Omg his coat smells like the gross monster stuff and zyl is very much onto him. Tsk tsk.

WHY DID THEY DO THAT TO THE FISH!!!!!!!

THATS SO MEAN

Omg gcc with diarrhea

He’s out of toilet paper

And CSZ OFFERED HIM SHEETS FROM GCC’S JOURNAL HAHAHAHAHA

AS HE READS IT.

POOPING IN THE STALL NEXT TO HIM

PEAK COMEDY

Oop zyl has connected the dots

Um that little girl is 15? Excuse me? You’re kidding me right?

This is a joke isn’t it

She’s like 10

Why did zhu Hong’s uncle drug her 😭😭😭

Episode 12

Ugh shen wei just tell zyl youre the black robe envoy 😭😭😭😭

He will find out eventually

This is stressing me out

Zyl constantly rolling his eyes gets me

Um the WAY that shen wei caught zyl are you kidding me rn

Da qing waking zyl up like that..........no words

DA QING REALLY SAID “really? You’re gonna flirt with each other? Right in front of my salad?”

O. M. F. G. GCC DRESSED AS ZHU HONG

Why was zyl so close to shen wei

And why was his excuse so bad.

Just say you were looking at him lol

TELL HIM WHAT? SHEN WEI!!!!!

WHAT IS THAT NECKLACE

Zyl’s doodle of shen wei as a prof and then as the black robe envoy 😭😭😭

Zhu Hong escaped just to be captured again

Oh yikes that guy was saving her from abuse

HEY DID YOU KNOW THAT THE LITTLE GIRL IS WEARINF A SHIRT THAT SAYS “boobies make me smile?” BECAUSE I FIND THAT TO BE VERY EXTREMELY UPSETTING WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not Da qing as a cat 😭😭😭

Oh boy it’s actually the little girl 😬

ITS THE WEDDING OF THE PEOPLE FROM THAT OTHER EPISODE AHHHHH!!!

That’s so happy!!!

Who is that suspicious man with the camera

Da qing going feral wtf??????????

Why did that happen!!!!!!!!!

Episode 13

Shen Wei showing up and saving the day..............I like it

Oh no that girl’s dad died

He was kinda scummy tho tbh

JUST. TELL. ZYL. THAT. YOURE. THE. BLACK. ROBE. ENVOY. IT. STRESSES. ME. OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zyl is also stressed

This reporter dude is SUS!!

Zyl when shen wei said he had to go back to the university lmao he was like

Oh good csz finally got gcc lmao

Lol zyl finding the guy shen wei hid

I love the flower girl!!!!!!

Shen Wei just TELL HIM!!!!! There’s no point in not telling him 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

“I thought we were friends” ope

I hate it here

Yikes he got mind controlled

Ok no way zhu Hong just died like that lol

So what is happening my dudes

Oh my that zyl and shen wei thing 👀

Hahaha fake bullet

THE WAY HE STOOD UP

The POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The look on shen wei’s face when he realized that zyl was aware the whole time lol

“Or else, how could I let you obediently say your true identity”

OMGMFLCOWOCOWJKCOWNCOW

Episode 14

The way zyl was about to just out shen wei like that haha

“Who told you I can’t erase your memories”

OMFG

zyl: 😳

“We have always been friends”

“Have been? When did it start?”

Omfg!!!!!!

Shen Wei is just like “10,000 BC” hahahahaha could you imagine zyl’s reaction

Oop zyl does not like talking about papa zhao

Ugh the reporter makes an appearance

Why did zyl immediately invite shen wei when he was invited to dinner

Lol

Ooo gcc improving his fighting skills NICE!!!

The way he skipped away LMAO

Even csz was smiling

Wow u big softie

WHY IS GCC’S UNCLE SO RUDE!!!!!!!!!!

I will have words with him

Da qing talking to the cats 😭😭😭

The reporter is like “........wtf”

#guardian #guardian watchthrough #shen wei #zhao yunlan #da qing #chu shuzhi #guo changcheng #lin jing #wang zheng #ge lan #zhu hong #mypost

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cptnleviackerman · 4 years

Text

dig a lil deeper

tagged by @padmeamiala thank you my looove <3

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen?

black!! im not a maniac

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city?

probably the city, but not a really big city. ive had enough of countryside living tbh

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

if we're talking being able to just immediately know how to do this skill then probably the ability to play an instrument, like the drums

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?

nope

5. what was your favorite book as a child?

idk if this counts but I was obsessed with those yearly annuals you could get

6. do you prefer baths or showers?

probably showers

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be?

a witch??? a sorcerer??? idk

8. paper or electronic books?

paper definitely

9. what is your favorite item of clothing?

dUde what a question,,, probably my blue knitted-like jumper that I stole from my cousin

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it?

it's fine ig???? I still go insane when people actually use my name like holy shit??? that me??!!

11. who is a mentor to you?

I don't really think I have one :)

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for?

yuh I'd love to be famous but only for the money though

13. are you a restless sleeper?

idk if restless is the right word but im kind of a light sleeper

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person?

i really could not tell you. do i sometimes long to be kissed tenderly??? yes. do I think about falling in love with my favourite characters every night before I go to sleep??? also yes. but irl??? idk man

15. which element best represents you?

i think water honestly

16. who do you want to be closer to?

physically??? nic 🥺 but if you mean like, mentally then no one bc I don't want anymore friends

17. do you miss someone at the moment?

yuh duh (NIC)

18. tell us about an early childhood memory.

i don't know if it's a memory or just a story that ive been told so much that I just think it's a memory, but on my first birthday party I accidentally called the police and they came to our house :))

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten?

uuuuuggh idk honestly im not that adventurous when it comes to food

20. what are you most thankful for?

being alive

21. do you like spicy food?

yuhh but not /too/ spicy

22. have you ever met someone famous?

i met one of the supporting bands from my the vamps concert in 2018.also the guy from the gadget show with the glasses walked past me once

23. do you keep a diary or journal?

I keep a note of my dreams in a journal but not really anything else

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

hhhmmm pen

25. what is your star sign?

aries :))

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

cronchy

27. what would you want your legacy to be?

I'd be happy knowing I did the best with what I was given and that I was always kind when I could be

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read?

hell yeah!! and doctor sleep by stephen king

29. how do you show someone you love them?

i used to be very bad at this, and over the past few months ive been forcing myself to be more open and actually tell my friends I care about them

30. do you like ice in your drinks?

sometimes, with abit of lemon

31. what are you afraid of?

im not sure really, ig wasting my life pursuing something that in the end I wasn't happy with

32. what is your favorite scent?

freshly washed clothes, lavender is nice too

33. do you address older people by their name or surname?

their name??? im not a fictional character mate

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

oh boi right, id probably pursue a different uni course to start with. move away from home as soon as I could. visit my online and irl friends more often. buy gifts for them too. send them letters. go to more places. dye my hair.

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

ocean, pools are too boring, you need those waves and the feeling like you will never breathe through your nose again when the sea water gets up in there

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground?

if there was no one around I would take it and probably just keep it in my wallet and save it

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish?

probably??? idk

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children?

i could not tell ya

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

I'd quite like a little star, not sure where

40. what can you hear now?

im watching harry potter, I can also hear cars outside and a door in the house keeps drifting open and shut due to the wind

41. where do you feel the safest?

in my room, with the door shut, watching something on my laptop, in almost darkness

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

i want to be more open to physical touch with people, hugs and stuff

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

i really do not know

44. what is your most used emoji?

✨ or 🤩

45. describe yourself using one word.

tired

46. what do you regret the most?

I regret not speaking out when my older relatives were being racist at Christmas. I regret being so shy in secondary school. I regret not thinking more about my future when it wasn't so imminent

47. last movie you saw?

before the one im watching now I think it was ocean's 8

tagging: @happy-rascal @losersclub3000 @panstutteringbill

#this was fun actually #ask game #em talks #oc

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miraworos · 4 years

Text

Azira Fell and the Apocalypse Scroll (T)

SUMMARY: The hunt is on for a mysterious and deadly scroll with the power to topple the world into chaos. Will Dr. Azira Fell, professor of Egyptology, find it in time to prevent the impending apocalypse? Or will an evil organization bent on destroying civilization find it first? To have even a chance at saving the world, he'll need to rely on the wily Anthony J. Crowley, professional guide and adventurer. But can Azira trust the inscrutable explorer, or will he lose his heart along with his life?

Or: A Good Omens Indiana Jones AU, because why not?

Ashmolean Museum, Oxford - 1935

Doctor Azira Fell hummed a few bars of Davies’ Op. 51 as he selected a couple of works from the Ashmolean library’s collection. Sunlight streaming through the clerestory window above ignited the gold-embossed lettering on the cover of a book chronicling the Ptolemaic dynasty near the end of the Hellenistic period. To Azira, who practiced knowledge the way others practiced religion, the glow seemed an omen of the treasure within.

Descending the step stool, he carried the volumes to a nearby table. He laid them as softly as possible on the polished oak and tugged the lamp chain. Then he sat in the high-backed chair, wiggling ever so slightly with the anticipation of the chase.

The passages for which he was searching would likely be buried in the usual drivel of martial accounts, rankings, and supply inventories. The Romans really were such tiresome windbags about conquest. Very few saw the forest through the trees with all their facts and figures and mind-numbing reports. Thus, it was up to Egyptologists like Dr. Azira Fell, associate faculty of Oriental Studies at the University of Oxford, thank you very much, to find the occasional tree that hinted at the actual forest.

Azira took out his small, leather-bound journal, opened it to where the stub of a pencil was wedged into its pages, and began to record the call numbers of the volumes he’d selected. With any luck, he’d have a few hours uninterrupted by students to collect a handful of tidbits meriting further investigation.

“Dr. Fell!”

Azira’s shoulders slumped ever so slightly. So much for uninterrupted hours. He hadn’t even made it five minutes.

“Dr. Fell, you have to see this.”

Anathema Device, Azira’s research assistant and the first American woman to study Oriental Studies at Oxford, popped out from behind a set of nearby stacks, breathless with excitement.

“There you are,” she said. “I knew you’d be prowling around the 932s. Look at this.”

She hurried forward, holding a hardcover book open toward him. He recognized it at once as her mother’s account of her expedition to Nubia at the turn of the century, before Anathema was born. Her mother’s obsession with Egyptology inspired Anathema’s own passion for the profession.

“What is it, dear?” he said, as he took the book from her hands.

“I’ve read this entire thing cover to cover so many times, but I never noticed this before,” she said, her face alight like it always was when she made a new conceptual connection or discovery in her research.

Azira looked at the place on the page to which she was pointing, but didn’t immediately see the source of her excitement.

“I don’t understand,” he said apologetically.

She took the book back and read aloud. “In late 34 BC, authorities on behalf of Emperor Octavian claimed that Mark Antony had stolen a sacred scroll from the Library of Pergamum and gifted it to Cleopatra of Egypt as recompense for the burning of the Alexandrian scroll collection during Caesar’s Civil War.”

“Yes, but that was a false account to discredit Antony. Your mother knew that. We all know that.”

“That’s not the interesting part,” Anathema said, grinning wider. “It says a sacred scroll as in one—not many. Scholars generally accept that the rumor stated Antony gave Cleopatra something like 20,000 Pergamum scrolls. Not one sacred one.”

Azira stood up. “You think she means the scroll? The scroll about th-the—Macedonian, er—”

“The Macedonian spice route,” she finished for him with a significant look. “Yes. I think she could have meant that. Hiding an indicator in plain sight is just like her.”

He took the book from her again and traced the spidery writing with excitement. Anathema’s mother was considered the preeminent authority on all things occult during the Ptolemaic Dynasty. That’s how Anathema had come to learn of the sacred scroll in the first place, through bedtime stories her mother had told her. Azira had learned of the scroll through other means, naturally, but when each had discovered the other knew of it, they instantly formed a bond that, over the last two years, had led to a close and trusted friendship.

“There’s more,” Anathema said, eyes dancing. “I looked up sacred scroll in her index, and the page it has listed is a separate page entirely, with no mention of a sacred scroll at all.”

“Which page?”

Anathema flipped the pages while Azira held the book for her. She stopped a third of the way further forward in the book, and pointed at a sketch of statue.

“I’m betting it’s some kind of coded location. But I haven’t worked out if it’s the picture or the words or both.”

“Good lord, Anathema. Are you sure it isn’t just a misprint?”

Anathema arched a cool eyebrow at him. “My mother never made mistakes. Not when it came to her study of Egypt. Never once.”

And, of course, she was right. Azira suggesting that the book was flawed was ludicrous. He had found firsthand accounts with less historical accuracy than the meticulously researched analysis he was now holding.

“Agnes Nutter, you sly devil,” Azira said, scanning the page Anathema had indicated. “You realize this means that not only did she know where the scroll was, or at least what happened to it—“

“—she also knew it was too dange—er, valuable, I mean—historically speaking—to let fall into the wrong hands.”

Azira was too lost in thought to chastise her near slip, though heaven knew what spies lurked in the stacks, just waiting for a crumb of information to fall.

“So it does exist,” he muttered to himself. “It does exist, and its location is knowable. It has been found at least once, and if it could be found by her…”

“It can be found by people other than us. Which could be bad.”

Azira tapped his lips, turning the puzzle over in his mind as he gazed at the page. “But where to start? We can’t go haring off into the desert without a proper destination in mind, my dear. We simply can’t afford it.”

“We could ask the Egypt Exploration Fund for an investment.”

“An investment for what? We’d need to tell them what we were looking for—”

“—the Macedonian spice route—”

“—as well as actually produce something of value upon our return. We can’t excavate a ghost, Anathema. No one would subsidize that.”

“On the contrary, brother,” boomed a voice from near the staircase about ten feet away from Azira and Anathema. “We may be able to come to some arrangement.”

Gabriel, patriarch of Azira’s extended family and, regrettably, Azira’s half-brother, approached their table with a jackal’s smile.

“What kind of arrangement?” Azira said with trepidation. He didn’t trust Gabriel any farther than he could throw him, family or no.

“Well, it just so happens Mother has a keen interest in the Byzantium-antiquities trade gaining momentum in the Mediterranean region.”

“What do tourist trinkets have to do with my research on the, er, the evolution of the gastronomical trade in the early Roman Empire?”

“I think your interests overlap quite nicely with the Foundation’s objectives in this case.”

The Foundation was the philanthropic arm of the White Dove evangelical organization Azira’s extended family had founded generations ago. It used monetary inducements to attract vulnerable populations into the fold, often at the price of sacrificing their cultural identity and heritage. That’s what had pushed Azira toward Egyptology and the study of antiquities in the first place. He wanted to protect the cultures and histories and identities of the people that White Dove’s Foundation tended to erase.

“What are the Foundation’s objectives, if I may?”

“Profit, of course. Profit that can then be turned to…charitable causes.”

“And by charitable, you mean missionary, I presume?”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. Don’t forget that a sizable donation from the Foundation helps maintain this academic institution you love so much.”

“You still haven’t said what it is you want me to do,” Azira reminded Gabriel as Anathema slowly closed her mother’s journal and eased backward to be half-hidden behind Azira. Smart girl.

“We need you to travel to Cairo and make inroads with the traders in antiquities. You have an eye for these things. You can tell when something is worth procuring.”

“And what do you intend to do with any relics I obtain?”

“Why, resell them, of course, at a price more fair for the discerning market,” Gabriel said. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the mysteries of the pharaohs have caught the imagination of others in the empire, others who happen to have the benefit of deep pockets. And why not indulge their petty interests if it encourages them to give generously to God’s chosen causes? In exchange, you could mount your expedition for your gastronomical …. whatever ... in your spare time, with our resources and our blessing.”

Azira pursed his lips, on the verge of refusing Gabriel’s request, no matter the familial consequence to himself. He didn’t need Gabriel’s blessing to go about his life, nor did he want it. If he was ever given it, he’d have to immediately examine at length whether he wanted to continue doing whatever it was that Gabriel approved of. Azira wouldn’t go so far as to classify Gabriel as evil—he was Azira’s brother after all—but if not outright malicious, then he was something just this side of it.

The refusal hovered on Azira’s tongue, despite the small nudge of a pointy elbow in his back. Anathema clearly wanted him to take the deal. But it was hardly worth the burden of being under Gabriel’s thumb again. The last time Azira had been in a similar position, it had not gone well.

“I wouldn’t know the first thing about setting up an antiquities trade, Gabriel. How would I even find these so-called traders? How would I know I could trust them to deliver a bona fide artefact?”

“No worries on that score,” he said with false amiability. He took a black card out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Azira. It simply read “Crowley,” with no address or number, only a snake sigil curled along the left-hand side. “This man is affiliated with a trusted business associate of mine. He’ll see to you, help you set up when you arrive.”

“And how do I find him, then?” Azira asked, agitated. “There are no details on this card.”

“Oh, he’ll find you,” Gabriel assured him. “Your accounts have been furnished with whatever funds you might need for travel and expenses.”

Guide or not, funding or not, Azira simply didn’t have the wherewithal to do what Gabriel was asking.

“Gabriel, I don’t think—“

Gabriel took that moment to lean into Azira’s personal space, looming over the shorter man with a deceptively mild expression.

“Listen, Sunshine. I may have understated things when I posed this as a request. You will do as I say, or I will be forced to withdraw my protection from you and my financial support from this fine academy. And we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

Azira swallowed. Much as he’d regret the loss of the funds to the university, the larger threat lay in the euphemistic “withdraw my protection from you,” which meant far more sinister things than the words themselves invoked.

“I look forward to monitoring your progress,” Gabriel said with barely concealed contempt as he shook Azira’s hand and tipped his hat to Anathema. “And, as always, Godspeed.”

Then with a dramatic swirl of his argent coat, he took his leave.

Azira stared speechless after his brother. He hadn’t even agreed to go. But that was how White Dove, and its founding family, operated. No one was permitted to say no. Questions were forbidden unless strictly necessary. Only the most powerful family members were chosen to lead, and if those leaders dictated that something be done, it was done—end of conversation.

Azira had thought he’d escaped it by becoming an academic. For the last fifteen years, he’d managed to skirt most family engagements and nod politely at the ones he couldn’t avoid, until almost no one in the family even remembered he existed, but for the annual expense in the ledger with Oxford as the payee. Or so he’d thought. It appeared he was still very much on Gabriel’s mind, in the event that he might prove useful.

“Well, that was…something,” Anathema said, returning to her position by his side. “Is he always that pushy?”

“Most times, he’s worse,” Azira admitted glumly. Then he looked at the card in his hand, the snake sigil sending a thrill of foreboding down his spine. “Cairo.”

“Don’t look so downtrodden. This is exactly what we wanted,” Anathema said, laying a reassuring hand on his arm.

“It’s not the expedition that worries me,” Azira answered softly, tucking the card in his coat pocket. “It’s the demons we will owe when we return.”

Read Chapter 2 on AO3

Start at Chapter 1

#for the morning crowd #good omens #good omens fanfic #good omens human au #Indiana Jones AU #ineffable husbands #my GO fic #slow burn #mild hurt/comfort #see ao3 tags for more details

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draculaurennn · 4 years

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i wanted to do something for Padrika, so here I am! making garbage little graphics bc i haven’t made one in like 456543 years and using asks from @indoril-nerevar-mora.

💙 What would your OCs last words be (or if they’ve died what were their last words)? What were their final moments like? How did they die?

Padrika died once already! She was about ten, and has

almost

no recollection of it. To her memory, she’s just always existed, but bits and pieces surface often, even though they mean pretty much nothing to her. The reality is, when she was young, she went missing in her community, but no one really noticed or cared. Her parents could afford to not feed a child, and they were already unusually outside the community for being transient folk. Padrika doesn’t remember how she was stolen away, or who it was.

The reality was it was just some man. His intentions weren’t kind, snatching her off because she was often unattended and never really home, and was just a girl who no one would really miss... or apparently look for. In her struggle, he ended up strangling her by the mireside. Not long before she faded out completely, something grabbed her by the foot and pulled her into the water; something else grabbed her assailant, and he was dragged down, too. Padrika’s was either meant to be a mercy killing by the rumored nymphs or it was meant to just pull her away; his was certainly not. She was gone by her first gulp of water, though.

She had no last words, only screaming and choking. She remembers her eyes full of stars.

💧 What’s the worst pain your OC has ever been in? Mental or physical? What was the cause of this?

I honestly don’t think Padrika could remember any pain as worse than the other. She doesn’t really acknowledge pain? It’s hard to explain. The worst “pain” she’s ever had was probably mental, in the form of her later entrapment in the kingdom of Litwin. But she doesn’t really recognize entrapment as a pain, just as a blight on her very confusing existence. She doesn’t really realize it, but that reoccurs often in her heart alongside anger and frustration, and it’s made her obstinate to doing what she’s told or staying where she doesn’t want to be.

🔷 Has your OC ever had to leave something behind or abandon something they didn’t want to? Have they ever had this happen to them? How has this effected them over the years?

The first time was the mire. The stars and the voices told her to pass off a sword, and out of sheer morbid curiosity, she did as she saw. The consequence was her capture; she was dragged from the water and kept in a soggy crate of tarp and water for days, until she was transported to Litwin. She didn’t want to go. All she wanted was to give them the sword and stop the visions, but that didn’t happen.

Then they kept her in a beautiful room with anything she could have asked for, except for her freedom, which they wouldn’t give. The young man who took the sword, who used it to raze the kingdom and then sit on the throne, hoped that by keeping her as a good luck charm she’d provide more visions to his inevitable victory. Padrika felt more like she’d helped murder thousands and displace thousands more. But she was more than happy to abandon Litwin when her opportunity to escape appeared.

She worried about going back; bound in a different body by a little curse, she couldn’t very well slip into her old home and hope rusalka just let her stay. She also couldn’t survive under the water in a mortal body. So she picked up sailing, worked hard for her own boat, and allowed herself to sail free and unbound on her own terms. She was very proud of the boat she restored, the teacups and glass bottles she was collecting, and all of her journals of songs. But, then that was destroyed in a fight with vodyanoy, and Padrika felt the most grief and loss and anger she’d ever experienced in her entire life. She tries not to let it make her bitter, but it’s rooted itself deeply in her frustration as she once again finds herself lost and her existence both confusing and void of purpose.

?❄️ What is (one of) their biggest regrets or biggest mistake they’ve made? Is there anything they can do to fix this or is it so far gone there’s no point anymore? Is this something they dwell on a lot?

Padrika hasn’t really

realized

how much she laments on this, but she does hold herself responsible for the siege on Litwin. No rational part of her says it isn’t her fault. As far as she’s concerned, she gave a legendary blade to a young man who used it to murder and pillage and torture an entire kingdom as he ascended the throne. Women and children and innocent workers she had no relations to were bastardized in front of her, peering at the massacre through slats in a crate.

She tries so incredibly hard to block these events out. She thinks about the as little as possible, she sleeps if they start to surface and hopes they’ll go away, and she ran as far as she possibly could in hopes that she never brought that sort of bad luck to innocent people ever again. It’s not only the biggest mistake she’s made, but in her very short and passive existence of doing almost nothing, her singular motivator and action resulted in the greatest albeit only mass casualty she’s ever witnessed, and she has never let that go.

💦 Does your OC have any self destructive habits? Addictions? Urges? What is the cause of these or the reason for them?

Padrika doesn’t form bonds because of her concerns of bringing bad luck on others. She worries if she gets close to others, attaches to others, makes friends with others, she’ll end up getting them killed. So she tends to isolate and prevent herself from being someone that anyone would keep around.

She also has a tendency to drink, but it’s more out of sleep aid than it is a trauma or guilt-driven habit.

☄️ Does your OC struggle with their emotions and trauma? Do they find it easier to open up to strangers or those close to them if at all? Do they tend to hide their pain from everyone?

Struggles is a strong word; fails to understand is a better way to explain it. She’s

generally

good at keeping her moody changes to herself, and is rather good at not oversharing. Padrika doesn’t form attachments on principle, and likes to obscure any sort of worry or stress with an overabundance of combative confidence. She promised herself years ago she’d never cry in front of a person: not from stress, despair, fear, or pain, and she’s done incredibly well.

It’s also important to note, though, that Padrika isn’t wallowing in some suffering 24/7. Reoccurrent feelings like this are only triggered, though she doesn’t really know what from. When they surface, she’s very good at chasing them away. She understands it’s important to dance, to play, to enjoy the freedom she does have now. But there’s also always times that stormy weather through smudged windows or abandoned villages with abandoned letters makes her feel melancholy and pained, and that’s something she’d become quite good at covering.

🔹 Does your OC have any scars? What are the stories behind them? Do they have any mental scars?

Plenty of scars! They’re mostly little ones, scattered over her hands and arms from shipwork. The other little scattered ones are from falling, hitting rocks when she collapses from a vision, or just general diving accidents.No one in Litwin ever meant her harm; they wanted her to adapt and be happy there, so she received no physical harm. The only mental scars are the ones following her visions gave her, the misery of Litwin that rampaged because of what she’d done, and she swore to just quit listening to the visions after that.

#padrika venris #oc ask meme #teethoc #all i want to do is write abt pad lately asdfghhgfds #dont look at me

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ruffboijuliaburnsides · 4 years

Note

Know You Uncomfortably Well: 5, 8, 9, 12, 23, 24, 28, 33, 35, 38, 46, 50, 67, 86, 87 (you /did/ ask for it, my friend :p)

haha I did indeed, and you are ridiculous. *cracks knuckles* HERE WE GO!

5. What is your favorite color?

Purple! Specifically purples along this sort of palatte:

8. Where are you from?

Arizona, originally! But upstate new york is legitimately where my heart lies and where Birdie and I ultimately plan to return to one day.

9. How tall are you?

5′4.75″ ...It’s actually closer to 5′4.5″ but well it all comes out about 164cm in the end.

12. What was your last dream about?

So I don’t tend to remember my dreams very well, but they always tend to be very cinematic and don’t always even involve me, though some of them do. Always there’s a plot, even if I can’t remember what the plot is.

The last one I still have some vague memory of I was living in some sort of fascist sort of 1984-ish state, but all slick and 2000s modern and stuff. And I was in a resistance with Penn & Teller for some reason? And somehow they were still celebrities? It was bizarre.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I have! I think there’s only two that weren’t like. Popular Christian Musicians From The Late 90s/Early Aughts, and those were Alice Cooper (who was very nice and thought the story I told him about how when my mom was in college he performed near her and she hopped the fence at the tiny local airport his private plane had landed in and stuck her gum to the bottom of it before going to the concert was VERY funny).

And the other one I actually knew before he was a celebrity but I think it still counts? But I was kind of quasi-adopted as a little sister sort of person by Kellan Lutz’s mom? Uh, he was in the Twilight movies, I forget the guy’s name, the big jock one of the Cullens? I also babysat his younger brothers, and Kellan taught me how to play Pokemon Snap in his living room. This was when he was in high school, obviously - he was a year older than me and I thought he was super nice. I basically lived at their house for a couple years.

24. Baths or showers?

Depends on what I want/need out of it. If it’s just “I want to get clean and maybe warm”, showers every time especially if there’s not a good deep tub available. If I want to soak to help my joints/muscles hurt less or if my spoons are low for standing, then baths.

My kingdom for either a LARGE tub with a separate shower that fits a shower chair, or one of those walk-in sitting tubs with a shower attachment.

28. What type of music do you like?

ALL KINDS. Seriously, I have yet to run into a type of music that I don’t like ANYTHING from that genre, though I’m pickier about some things like heavy metal or country. But I really like kind of. Indie Rock circa the early aughts? Not even rock, just like. Indie rock/pop/folk/country/whatever that weird thing that was going on like. Norah Jones, Ingrid Michaelson, Rilo Kiley, Neko Case, Sara Bareilles... idk there’s a similar through line to a lot of them? ...Maybe it’s just they’re all girls man idk XD But also Give Me Mountain Goats. I love The Mountain Goats.

I just like songs, generally. Fuck genre, often even fuck artist bc there are many artists who I only really listen to a couple of songs from and don’t really get into the other stuff they do.

Also filk. Seanan and Vixy & Tony and SJ Tucker and all sorts of fun fantasyish folk.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I mean, often “nothing”, or “I grab some crackers or a boost shake to get me through until lunch”. I don’t actually like eating right after I’ve woken up? But sometimes I’ll have cereal or toast.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

*sobs into hands* OK so when we were living in Florida, my friend Dorian and I actually used to go to an archery class every week, and it was SO FUN. But then he got a new job and couldn’t do it anymore, and he was my ride and I tried going alone but it just wasn’t the same, but I did graduate to the intermediate class before I stopped going. I MISS IT SO FUCKING MUCH.

I’d really like to take it back up again, but I don’t have anywhere to practice or anything, so it’s difficult.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

I think 72 hours, if you don’t count 10 minutes of being conscious but just *grazing* the edges of sleep and then getting woken up again before I could actually sleep.

When the insomnia passed, I slept for like 16 hours straight with two quasi-conscious points when I went to pee.

46. What is your personality type?

Like, from a test or just in general? In general I think I’m a pretty optimistic but dreamy person. Creative, not great at motivation, prefer working alone or with one trusted partner I already know to groups, like my alone time, etc. I did take a couple personality tests to answer tho!:

(from here)

50. Left or right handed?

Right handed but I keep trying occasionally to cultivate left handedness in myself. Something I’ve been trying to do since I was like 11 (I never stick at it long enough for it to work, ftr) initially because I was deeply paranoid I would get leukemia and have to get my right arm amputated (I was a weird kid) and I wanted to not have to re-learn how to write while dealing with all that, but then moving forward just ‘cause it would be cool to be able to do, especially when like, I’m trying to do an essay test and my hand is cramping up.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Well, I didn’t think so and i probably couldn’t do it without a map or a list of what I’ve already named, but I took a test and got 100% sooooo...

86. What are you allergic to?

Tylenol and cantaloupe! Also possibly aspirin. None of them like LIFE THREATENING but tylenol has increased in severity of symptoms every time I’ve taken it since I was little and the last time I tried I got a REALLY itchy throat and mouth and it felt like things were swollen and making breathing not DIFFICULT but at least very mildly obstructed, so it’s probably for the best not to take it again, y’know?

87. Do you keep a journal?

I don’t. I used to, when I was in high school I had like four thick journals that had like, those fancy cloth/beaded covers and handmade paper that was really popular for a while in the early aughts? Including one that had a leather wrap cover that was entirely in tengwar and cirith from Lord of the Rings - not from a website, but my own interpretation of the charts and linguistic information provided in the Lord of the Rings appendices. So that no one could read my diary.

I’ve lost the journals and the tengwar chart I’d made but I can more or less rebuild it with the variety of options you can find online, but it’s a sort of mishmash and I definitely didn’t stick to one language’s usage of certain letters, and I developed certain shorthand quirks - some of which were used by tolkien and some of which weren’t - that would make it very difficult to transcribe that journal even if you were working off the specific variant of the tengwar alphabet that I’d been using. I don’t think even I could do it anymore tbh, if I were to find that journal. In my defense, it’s been nearly 20 years since I kept it, so. XD

GET TO KNOW ME UNCOMFORTABLY WELL

#askbox meme #holy shit dude SO MANY QUESTIONS #the library alcove #audience with the gods

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years

Text

12/10/2019 DAB Transcript

Amos 1:1-3:15, Revelation 2:1-17, Psalms 129:1-8, Proverbs 29:19-20

Today is the 10th day of the December. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It's great to be here with you today. As odd as it is, three weeks from today is the end of the year. So, well done! You’ve made it this far. We can do this. We will finish strong together. We have been moving quickly through a lot of territory and talking about the different…the different books and letters that we’re reading and today is no different. In the Old Testament, we will begin the book of Amos, which is another of the minor prophets but…but thankfully we’ll camp out in Amos for a few days. And we’re in the book of Revelation in the New Testament. So, that will carry us all the way until the end of the year. So, let's talk about Amos.

Introduction to the book of Amos:

Amos, this book is likely the earliest collection of…of prophetic utterances that were written down, that are found in the Bible. Amos prophesied in the mid eighth century BC at a time when the northern and the southern kingdoms were actually experiencing peace and prosperity. The thing about Amos was he wasn't trained. Like he wasn't a trained priest, or he hadn’t been raised up for religious work. He…he seems to have been an ordinary person living, basically, the ordinary life of a shepherd and farmer. And we don't know whether he was like just a common laborer who worked on someone's farm or was a shepherd for someone or whether he owned flocks and groves, but he was certainly educated, and he was certainly aware of what was going on around him. He lived in the city of Toccoa, which was about 10 miles south of Jerusalem. So, that means he lived in the southern kingdom of Judah, but his mission was to prophesy in the northern kingdom of Israel and he probably did that just by crossing the border over into Bethel. And we’ll have to go back to the books of Samuel and Kings to remember the northern and the southern kingdoms split. So, the northern kingdom of Israel, its northernmost city would've been Dan and its southernmost city would've been Bethel. So, Amos would've crossed over the border into the northern kingdom and probably given his prophecies in Bethel because this was a major trade city and hub for idol worship in the northern kingdom. But like we just said, the northern and the southern kingdoms were experiencing peace and prosperity that they hadn't seen really since the reign of King Solomon. So, it could seem weird that God would send an ordinary person from the southern kingdom to deliver a severe message of judgment in the northern kingdom. And no doubt for Amos this would’ve been a tough mission to…to get involved in but this is what Amos was told to do. The peace and the prosperity that the kingdoms were experiencing had opened the doors for corruption, which had begun to run rampant in the society. The poor were being oppressed while greed to continue to rule the hearts of those in leadership and Amos forcefully denounces the praying upon the less fortunate, which makes social justice a major theme in the book of Amos. Amos is thousands of years old. So, it would seem like after thousands of years we would see the cycle but we’re still grappling with the same kinds of issues today and the message that we’ll find in Amos is that we are nowhere near as powerful as we think we are and God is much more powerful than we can possibly even comprehend. In fact, what Amos is making clear is that the world is God's, right? The world belongs to God. He made it. It's his not ours and He is absolutely sovereign over all people and all things. So, as we spend a few days here reading from Amos, let's consider our own path and…and wisely choose, as the apostle Peter told us, to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God. And, so, we’re reading from the Common English Bible this week. Amos, chapters 1 through 2.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and as we move into the book of Amos, we ask that You speak to us and as we continue this first part of Revelation here You, Jesus, are speaking to the churches may we as was spoken in Revelation have eyes to see and ears to hear. Come Holy Spirit we pray in the mighty name of our Savior, Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it is…it is the website, and that's where you find out what’s going on around here. And it's all things Christmas. It’s like the world itself has awakened to the fact that a Savior was born. And we should pay attention to that. I've been watching some of the, you know, like the programs, the Christmas sort of variety programs that come on. And I don't know…I noticed this in the past but maybe never more than this year. Like, wow, I’m watching network television. I’m watching people worship God openly and broadcast it through the networks and it's just a beautiful thing to see. So, it's Christmas time around here and it's Christmas time here at the Daily Audio Bible in the community here.

So, a couple of things about that. One, I talked about this yesterday. Every year we have a Christmas party around the Global Campfire because we’re virtual and we can't all get together in the same place at the same time we just roll with it. We’re a virtual community so we celebrate virtually. And, so, all during this week the lines are open for you to call in your Christmas wishes and Christmas prayers, things that you would say to the community that you've traveled with this year as we approach the holidays. And we compile all of that and then Jill and I, we share for a while and then we just kind of sit back and hear each other. It is…well...I am not a big weeping crying kind of person normally, I think I cry a lot more by myself than maybe publicly, but these Christmas parties, I…I just never get to the end of them without finding myself just in tears of gratitude. And, so, it's just a wonderful time. So, we’re taking those calls this week. The way that you do it is the same way and the same method that you would call in a prayer request like we do every day, same method. So, if you have the Daily Audio Bible app and you use that little Hotline button up the top, that's fantastic. That’s a great way to the call in a Christmas greeting or any of the phone numbers you can use as well. The only rule, because it's the prayer line, the only rule is don’t call in a holiday greeting and a prayer request combined into the same calling. This is the one time you can break that rule. And if you have something going on and need prayer for, call that in and share it, but if you also want to participate in and call in a holiday greeting, do that separately. And we’ll filter it all and figure it all out and make our Christmas party like we do every year. So, we’re doing that all this week, which means we’re doing that today.

And I’ll also remind you we have the Daily Audio Bible Christmas Box, Daily Audio Bible family Christmas for 2019 and it is full of resources that we think will be incredibly helpful, things to keep, things to give away, this is your choice. So, this new book, the God of Your Story, which is kind of the Daily Audio Bible commentary in written form in a 365-day devotional format. We have assigned hardback edition in the Christmas Box this year. Daily Audio Bible Journal 2.0, the Global Campfire candle, your choice of our DAB blend fresh roasted coffee or the boutique tea, the Daily Audio Bible Christmas ornament with our word for the year, “Maintain”, that is only available in the…the Christmas Box is in the Christmas box, a pack of 20 Christmas cards for 2019, Global Campfire pop socket, Global Campfire stickers, Global Campfire postcards. Like, it's full of resources that are just fun to unpack and choose who you’re gonna give them to or where you’re gonna put them or how you can use them. So, check that out while supplies last.

And also reminding you, the God of Your Story is…is actually honestly a good Christmas gift because it's offering the journey the path that we…that we voyage through toward transformation in our lives each year as we go through the Bible. So, it's a wonderful, wonderful way to invite those that you love into that rhythm of life. So, you know, you can get the God of Your Story separate from the Christmas Box for sure. And when you get the God of Sour Story you also have the opportunity get Sneezing Jesus or Reframe, two of my previous books. Those are five dollars ach, I mean you can buy as many of them as you want for five dollars. We’ve…we did that when we released the God of Your story but it's still going on as long as we…as long as we have supplies. And, so, as many as you want. That's…that's our cost. So, these aren’t marked up. That's what it costs. So, I mean even if they were marked up, all of these resources, these are sewn into the architecture and platform that exists to bring God's spoken word to us each and every day. So, but anyway, Sneezing Jesus and Reframe are available as well.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible as we approach the end of this year then I thank you, I thank you. I mean, I’ve said so many times that I don't know what words to use. The words gratitude, the word humility, these are all real, but they’re just smaller than I feel it's…it brings awe to me that we can do this. And, so, I thank you. And I'm in awe of this community that we’re still here and I thank you for your partnership. So, there's a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that's your preference, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment or, right now a holiday greeting, you can press the Hotline button in the...at the top of the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that is it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

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