#because I’m really bad about that lol

[brainrotdotorg]

The reason I don’t make a lot of very insightful posts about studying characters and the world they’re in is because I don’t know enough about jean everything I have to say about Harry and Kim has already been said I feel like I don’t have as much to say about the student communists because I am a bad communist who hasn’t done any of the required reading (lmao) my only thoughts on the RCM as an institution arent very well-developed (and also are through an American bias of what police are like rather than how they exist in Elysium) and I don’t know fucking. ANYTHING about the innocentic system.

But I sure can tell you a lot about the skills and piss/fuck. Which isn’t actually a lot but boy I can tell you

#also I am afraid of. expressing opinions sometimes lmao…… #tbh I don’t think I’m smart enough to do deep character dives into their pasts and motivations and whatnot #i feel like my own biases cloud who the haracters actually are too much #i have to learn how to not let me headcanons influence who these guys actually are #because I’m really bad about that lol #i also just feel like I don’t know enough and everyone else knows a lot more than I do!! #like people are saying shit that happened in the game and I’m like. what I never saw that #symptom of being a fan of suuuuuuch a massive game #anyway this isn’t about me talking down on myself or anything #just like. an explanation as to why I don’t get way deep into lord stuff #i find it very interesting and love reading other peoples posts #but I don’t think I should make big grand sweeping statements about things I feel like I’m just pulling out of my ass. yanno #in case you were ever curious about why I never make those kinds of posts #you probably weren’t. but #lol

[azure-clockwork]

I love three houses discourse because I'm pretty sure everyone just picks their route based on which house leader they're the most gay for and then tries to defend their pick by pointing out the other sides's war crimes via twitter memes. Reader, all four of them do substantial quantities of war crimes. So many. We're just here because the woman with Issues and a big fuck-off axe said so, and then we gotta justify everything she did in the name of dismantling the class system. I mean, I'm here for that, but you could also try justifying Charm Man uses poison and perfidy to try to stop racism, A Sad Little Meow Meow gives no quarter instead of doing therapy, or the Thicc Pope tries to bring back her mom via human experimentation, depending on your tastes

#This is 100% swinging at a hell of a hornet's nest #Do I tag it? #Yeah fuck it we ball #fe3h #fe16 #edelgard von hresvelg #claude von riegan #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #rhea fire emblem #I should probably clarify that I love all of these characters quite dearly #Well except Rhea #I think she's a good character but I'm not feral about her like Edelgard or charmed by her like Claude or desperate to save her like Dimitr #discourse #edelgard discourse #Edit: I actually don’t care about 3H discourse either way lol #there’s plenty of interesting shit to talk about in this game #also I get that the people who say “x did war crimes” actually don’t mean “this was bad because it violated the Geneva Convention” #but any time I see something about how many war crimes someone did (usually Edelgard or Dimitri) I just think: #“Hah it’s a war crime to deploy Cyril to rescue Flayn because he’s still 14 then” #also I got into this game because someone told me ‘so there’s a gal with an axe and trauma’ and I booted it up #and I have a friend who likes Rhea despite his moral reservations solely because ‘she’s hot tho’ #and that’s also really funny #point is I don’t really wanna participate in most fe3h discourse cuz I have shit to do but this post isn’t meant to be a dunk on anyone #I’m not upset when I see it; it’s either funny or fine or sometimes right #I’m just gay for Edelgard and amused by the idea of applying the Geneva Convention to a world where it Clearly Isn’t A Thing

[turtleblogatlast]

Do you ship any of the turtles with anyone? or do you ship anything in rise at all?

(This ended up being a lot longer an answer than I intended hoo boy sorry about that)

Hmmm, I’m not too big a shipper tbh! Especially since I really enjoy canon interactions backing my ships, so it’s hard for me to actively like any that don’t really have that going for them. There’s plenty that I see around that I think are cute, but that’s usually the extent of my thought process for them.

For ships I more actively have, I guess I like AprilxSunita! They’re very very cute and I think they have some huge meet cute energy in their first episode together, and their chemistry is genuinely adorable (plus them being featured means more April screentime which is ALWAYS a good thing.)

I also think AprilxCasey (and when I say Casey I mean our OG girl) is really good, as I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers, and I think they have a lot in common and just bounce off each other very well (not to mention this ship in other iterations of TMNT has a loooooot going for it.)

Keeping the chain going, I think RaphxCasey (again, OG Casey) is also one with a tonnnnn of potential. They have a lot of common characteristics, and considering Raph’s whole thing with Franken-Foot, I really think there’s a lot of room there for a relationship to develop. Plus, like AprilxCasey, Raph and Casey tend to have a close relationship throughout the iterations of TMNT and it would be great to see that more with these two, even if not romantically.

Actually going back to enemies to lovers, I unironically think there’s a ton going for DonniexKendra. I know a lot of people hate this ship, but I don’t and I actually think it could very easily work whether in a love-hate way or a slow burn way. There’s a lot to like here and honestly they’re good together! Kendra is legit Donnie’s type too haha (cute, but mean.)

Lastly, SplinterxDraxum is good…when done right. I really like when people take it and don’t undermine the very real trauma that Splinter has gone through. As I’ve stated a lot, I love me some enemies to lovers, so I can see the potential here. Plus lbr Draxum was down BAD for Lou Jitsu when he first saw him haha.

I think that’s the extent to what I actively like? Everything else usually falls into “aw cute” or “ehhh not for me thanks”. And before you ask YES leosagi is cute and I’ll read fics with it if the premise is appealing, but I’m afraid I need some canon interactions to establish base character dynamics before I actively ship it alas.😔 Super cute though, no hate to it or any of the other CanonxCharacter-they’ve-never-met ships, I genuinely think people should just have fun! And for what it’s worth I really do wish we got a Usagi and Leo interaction in Rise like we have in other iterations.:(

So yeah. Overall, I have a few ships I enjoy, but I fall much more in the “prefer to keep everyone to themselves and make the focus family and friendship” category.

#non au ask #can you tell I’m an enemies to lovers person yet 💀 #I had a dream once that the Fox yokai working for big mama was a teenage employee and he and Leo had a cute thing going on does that count #(the bellhop guy we see often with Big Mama) #that dream had like all of big mama’s employees basically be her adopted children #including frida #(Big Mama’s assistant) #AND Gus #(the guard dog) #so like she was literally big MAMA lol #pretty interesting story tbh too bad it ended when I woke up and I forgot a good 70% of it #lol this is also enemies to lovers I just realized- #but yeah overall I’m mostly a friendship or family platonic dynamics person #pfft of the ones I listed only AprilxSunita was not enemies to lovers wait 😭 #nah but like I’m not really a big shipper tbh #I tend to fast forward through romance plots in shows that don’t focus on romance #and I tend to avoid romance genres in general most of the time #no hate at allll it’s just not typically for me y’know? #I was reallyyyyy scared to post this because people can get MEAN about ships 💀

[sensitiveheartless]

I feel like being in the Port Mafia was bad for Dazai in the same way that being in the bath house was a bad thing for No-Face in Spirited Away.

Like…that scene towards the end of the movie where Chihiro takes No-Face to see Zeniba, and No-Face calms down and starts spinning and knitting, entirely peaceful? And No-Face decides to stay with her because it’s a better environment for him, one which won’t encourage his worst tendencies? That’s kind of what the agency is for Dazai. Dazai tends to reflect the people around him just as much as No-Face does—which is why I think being around Fyodor 24/7 in the current arc has not been a good thing for him, mentally speaking. But in the agency Dazai is surrounded by kind people, and he changes and becomes a bit better, just like Oda thought he would.

#this might be a connection other people have drawn already lol #but they really are rather similar characters right? #Mori said he saw himself in Dazai #but I kinda wonder if that’s because Dazai mirrors what’s around him. #unlike a large portion of the rest of the cast(especially the antagonists) Dazai doesn’t have high-minded motivations #and as Oda said he doesn’t care about morality. #which is very similar to No-Face—they’re both neutral entities who are primarily motivated by their connections to other people. #No-Face had Chihiro and Zeniba to pull him out of destructive cycles #while Dazai had Oda and the agency. #anyway don’t mind me it’s been a long week and I’m experiencing thoughts #...here's a cursed concept: Dazai rampaging through the PM like No-Face does on his way out of the bathhouse aksdfjksdfjks #throwing up all of his bad influences as he goes #or alternatively: dazai takes up knitting #bsd #bsd dazai #not art

[dragonseeds]

what are your thoughts on rhaegar and lyanna?

oh i love them! there’s all this talk of them haunting the narrative and they do, but i’d take it further and say they are the black hole at the center of the story. the choices that they made, starting with lyanna’s decision to defend howland reed and what that meant to both him and rhaegar, who was very likely at his lowest point at harrenhal after the ruination of his careful plans, touched or changed the lives of every character and plot line in the series. the story itself is such a fun mashup of tristan and iseult, lancelot and guinevere, helen and paris, the fall of camelot and all of arthuriana really, the classic trope of the princess in the tower and the dragon and the knight: all of that in one couple and we don’t get to experience any of it with them. we can guess and speculate, but we can never truly know them. we experience their story only through the memories the people who survived the war they ostensibly kicked off, and those memories are all heavily colored by trauma, guilt, nostalgia—alternately faded and sharpened by time. it’s this incredibly fun and brilliant reconstruction of some of the most enduring tragedies in folklore and mythology and i adore it.

hate beyond articulation the way asoiaf.tumblr.edu approaches their relationship and the individual characterizations of both of them, though. just absolutely some of the most insufferably sanctimonious disingenuous decontextualized analysis i’ve ever experienced—much of that coming from people viewing this through a historical lense instead of a thematic one. like, imagine approaching the battle of the trident as “rhaegar is a bad person for fighting for his father who was evil! he lost the moral high ground with that one” as opposed to “rhaegar as a character exists to fail and die; he was the last dragon, carrying the unbearable weight of his family’s legacy and the burden of the prophecy for which they conquered westeros: the end of his life is the end of the targaryen dynasty. he must fail and he must die, so that dany and jon can grow up free of that weight and that power. daenerys gets to redefine what it means to be targaryen on her own terms. she and jon separately and unknowingly do the things that he thought he had to do—the things he was conceived and born to do—but never knew how: they do it because of their circumstances, because of the people that they have grown into, because they believe it is their duty, because they have the power to do it.” also, like, re: interpretations of battle of the trident, is there maybe another battle that occurs later in the series that is exactly the same thematically and contextually? where perhaps a character who was missing for a while shows up on the eve of battle, knowing that the opposition is right and their cause is just but that his family will die if he doesn’t fight with them? anything that adds an extra layer of meaning to what happens, aside from dany’s own connection—which is not as thematically similar but is still incredibly meaningful. like i certainly don’t think there’s any one interpretation of a character or story, but the worst ones are consistently applied to rhaegar.

and then with lyanna in particular, it’s like people cannot stomach her or find her sympathetic as a character unless they’re wallowing in her eternal victimhood. the constant dismissal of the importance of lyanna’s actions and what they meant to rhaegar is pure misogyny, by the way. her choices and her agency, the inherent meaningfulness of the struggle for both of those things in a system that seeks to reduce her to her body and the use men can make of it—all of that is important. the person she was and what that meant to people was important, but from the way i most often see her discussed, it’s like her gendered death is the only thing that matters. it’s okay to lament her because she got crushed by the wheel. if she hadn’t, if she wasn’t a victim to write flagellatory meta about, she would be a hypocrite, someone who needed to learn a lesson—as difficult for some of these people to relate to as dany or rhaenyra apparently are.

like, it’s just wild to me because her kindness to howland reed and her choice to defend him, to disguise herself as the knight of the laughing tree and risk her life and reputation to fight for him—is the answer to and the embodiment of one of the most thematically significant questions in the series. we see it most prominently in dany’s chapters because she asks it directly: why do the gods make kings and queens if not to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves? that’s what lyanna did, when no one else was doing it: she had more honor than any knight at that tourney or any man sitting on the small council, and it meant something to rhaegar. like what about this is hard to understand? i think he must have idealized her immediately: she must have seemed like something out of a song or a story to him, and rhaegar was a singer, a songwriter, a bard: he knows how stories are supposed to go—how to finish a song, or at least he thought he did.

bran, who also loves stories, says it himself: “and the mystery knight should win the tourney, defeating every challenger, and name the wolf maid the queen of love and beauty.” like obviously bran has some critiques i cut out, but he has the ending right—only the wolf maid was the knight, and she couldn’t have won. in the feudal gender prison, women are rewarded for being beautiful and their worth is derived from that and from what their bodies provide. she should’ve won the whole thing, but the system doesn’t allow that, so rhaegar—in a fit of single-minded capital r romantic hero idiocy—dedicates himself to winning the tourney to honor her in the only way he can: the only way the system allows him to recognize her. it was the worst possible move he could make at that time because of the romantic connotations, but i love him for doing it, as stupid as it was and even though there is no way it didn’t hurt and humiliate elia, or make him look terrible when he desperately needed to make a good impression on the lords of the realm—it’s just such a Moment. being reminded that there’s good in the world—feeling hope in the face of endless abject overwhelming despair—how do you express gratitude for that? the idea that he could only doing it by hurting someone who didn’t deserve it and making himself look like an ass is fucking awesome. i’m genuinely so sorry for people are incapable of enjoying that. could not be me!

but that’s just my interpretation of what happened at harrenhal. like i said, part of why i like them so much is that we truly don’t know. while i love darker relationships in general, the idea that he crowned her at harrenhal because he wanted to impregnate her then does not work for me. it’s a popular theory, but it renders some of the very few contextual clues we are given about what happened meaningless. for one, he didn’t know that elia wouldn’t be able to have more children at that time. this was discovered after she gave birth to aegon, and that is the point at which the question of the third child appears to have become a motivating factor for him. i personally think he left for the riverlands to consult with the ghost of high heart—the one whose prophecy is the reason he was born, the reason is parents were forced to marry, the reason his family burned alive the night he came into the world—and ran into lyanna somewhere near harrenhal. it’s possible he had been in contact with her prior to this (how? without her family knowing? what are the logistics of that?) but i think it’s just as likely it was pure chance. i really like the idea that his crowning her queen of love and beauty caused lyanna’s father to set a date for her wedding to robert or talk of moving it up, maybe even suggest a double wedding at riverrun, which would have almost certainly caused her to balk. either way, high heart is located between harrenhal and riverrun. arya also stops there while she’s kidnapped by the brotherhood without banners on the way to ransom her to her family at riverrun, and they trade songs to the ghost for her dreams and prophecies. i think it’s worth noting because arya’s journey in the riverlands mirrors lyanna’s right down to her “death” as arya stark when she leaves for braavos, paying the ferryman’s fee with the coin jaqen h’ghar gave her—just as jon’s journey at the wall mirrors rhaegar’s in many ways right up until his own death.

i also don’t think rhaegar and lyanna eloped because they were in love—this is implied by lyanna’s famous quote—but that they did come to love each other deeply, which is suggested by the way they died: her roses and him saying her name. notably, rhaegar did not leave the tower of his own volition—someone had to come and get him with news of war, which is hilarious because i think the tower of joy is right in the middle of like three major battles of the rebellion? like quite frankly, if he didn’t love her or care for anything beyond the prophecy and if she didn’t love him despite how badly things went wrong, then where in their story is the heart in conflict with itself?

i do want to clarify that i love the tower entrapment and the power imbalance aspects of their relationship as much as i love (what i interpret as) the genuine respect for each other that grew into love: it’s really the tension of those disparate elements that interests me. a dragon can love the maiden, but he’s only ever a dragon—still liable to hoard her like treasure or burn her up and rip her open trying to be gentle, to protect. that FUCKS, sorry! love is sweet and hopeful, but it’s also at exactly the same time horror, consumption, destruction.

idk it’s myopic to act like the beginning or the ending of their relationship—of their lives—is the summation of it. i think people want their story to be easy when it’s not: a clear case of a villain and his victims where everyone knows who to root for and no one has to think too much about things that are difficult or uncomfortable, questions where there probably isn’t an answer that doesn’t hurt someone. what a sad, tedious way to approach any text, but specifically this one. i’ve sometimes seen it suggested that if their story is romantic then it’s an endorsement or justification of all the “bad” things that happened because of it, and that’s also stupid. grrm as an author is never going to be someone who tells us how to feel about anything: he presents these characters and situations, often as a means of exploring certain facets of the human condition, and each of us has to come up with our own answers and find our own meaning. i don’t think he always knows what he means, or what those answers are, you know? but for me rhaegar and lyanna are one of the most fascinating parts of story, and whatever the truth is—if we ever find out—i can’t imagine a scenario where i don’t love them or find them really interesting and wonderfully sad.

#lyanna stark #rhaegar targaryen #rhaelya #i’d apologize for this being so long but u have got to all be used to me by now #like i couldn’t be succinct at gunpoint #or coherent apparently #and especially not about this like i’m not normal about either of them #also just to clarify because this kind of turned into a rant: none of this applies to people i follow #but like. i sincerely think that 90% of the meta about them (individually + their relationship) is bad lol #and part of that is bc so much of it is based on fanon instead of what is actually in the books #and that frustration really comes through in this post and i regret that but it’s out there now lol #asoiaf

[benvoliotheorphan]

My favorite thing with nicktoons unite fan stuff is when people take the darkness of the dp phanon and combine it with the crossover so like Danny is going through all these existential and horrific things and then spongebob is there.

#but then it’s really sweet because spongebob is there and a nice friend #talking to myself #please note that this is not a bad thing because that’s the exact same vibe kh gives and I love it lol #Danny and spongebob having a dynamic similar to Sora donald and goofy is cute to me idk #(yes I’m watching the 7 hr Quinton reviews video whag about it) #I lived and breathed the first two nicktoons unite games as a kid #but I never knew about the other two until YEARS later after they were out of print #I tried to buy them used but one was from a different region and the other was scratched and unplayable #so it’s fun to see what the heck happens in the other two games

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

I don’t usually like making posts like this, but I’d appreciate prayers! There’s nothing Bad going on in my life, but the past day has been very emotionally heavy and I have a pretty important thing I’ll be doing tonight/tomorrow, and I’m a bit worried that it’s gonna be too much for me to handle. So prayers would be very much appreciated, just that God can lead me through all this and give me strength <3

#aaaaaah #my post #the thing I’ll be doing tonight/tomorrow involves a LOT of socializing #which is a little AAAAAAA because I feel like I just recovered from the socializing/busyness of two weeks ago #I wasn’t expecting to be that drained and I wasn’t expecting it to take so long to mentally recover #but I did recover annnnnd now I’m just gonna be doing more socializing XD #(for those who aren’t aware I am a Major introvert and social situations take so hekkin much out of me) #so… yeah #I’d really really appreciate prayers that I can Make It lol #like I said there’s nothing bad going on! #just a few things I’m nervous about #thanks for reading this <3

[sluttyten]

My afraid-of-romance ass has just been asked by another regular customer for my number and the stupid thing is that again I do think this guy is kinda cute and I really probably should say yes

#the fear tho lmao #what am I afraid of? I have no fucking clue #this is why I’m still questioning my sexuality lol like what am I? do I even actually like guys? do I like anyone? #in an existential spiral at the moment #but honestly why do they always ask for my number #like dude just give me yours and let me make the decision when you’re not right here in front of me #but I felt bad telling him no today just because the last time a customer asked and I said yes I almost immediately regretted it #and then that didn’t work out because I thought he was too young #young* and now he still sometimes comes by and I just feel awkward about it #maybe I should turn to Facebook and see if I can find him because I have set an age limit for myself and I really don’t want to entertain #anyone younger than that #but I’m……… I know I’m like never active in here anymore #but I just needed to talk about this somewhere #because any of my coworkers would probably tell me I’m being ridiculous or they’d just seriously keep questioning why I keep saying no to #customers that hit on me and my best friend would probably also not get it #idk y’all I just needed to rant about it/talk about it #anyway I’m definitely gonna stress over this until tomorrow #and I’m gonna feel really bad if he stops coming by

[milimeters-morales]

sometimes i wonder if Miguel ever has moments of “what am i” in a mixed race and ethnicity way. Because Mexican-Irish bc of Conchata and George but with the whole thing with Tyler, do you think he’s ever like “Well I’m not part Irish at all then” and very conflicted about it? Because on one hand he’d love to have less connection with George but he also feels like he’s just throwing away part of himself??? Or with Conchata, his relationship with her is so damn complicated (i love it) and overall negative but I don’t think he’d ever just distance himself from his Mexican side because his mother is more than just “his Mexican side”. I DO think i’m overthinking it bc I can’t really remember if he ever said/mentioned anything dealing with this in the comics and i just wanna latch onto any part that’s relatable, but i really wanna know how Miguel thinks about himself in that regard 😭😭 but he’s probably too busy and stressed with other things to even consider that lol don’t need another problem on his plate

#miguel o’hara #spiderman 2099 #spider man 2099 #like sometimes i just don’t really identify with any white part of me because like. white peiple just didn’t really get me or seem to like+ #me growing up. and then my dad’s side of the family was the ‘lol you are so white’ type to little me and trying to include me in black + #culture. which i did appreciate!!! but it was very rude and pushy the way they went about it at the time #so i ended up not identifying with the white or black parts of me #and like that really gets you thinking and messes you up for a bit as a kid #and by the time i was more in tune or involved i was just painfully awkward and always felt like i was trying to hard. i’m better about it+ #now but like damn. it was brutal LOL #like my bad experiences with that side of the family is more than just ‘my black side’ it’s SO much more than that. but like it’s kinda+ #complicated and difficult to explain and understand #and yknow i was just wondering if Miguel ever felt like that? #m&m posts

[the-trans-dragon]

I’m discovering an important part of aging. If I have a problem that I’ve never found help for, I have to manually ask myself, “How long has it been since you tried?”

If it’s been 3+ years, there’s sometimes new tools or strategies or knowledge, and it is crucial for me to periodically check for new help for old problems. Otherwise I will just suffer needlessly. Even 1 chronic thing is fucking exhausting and it’s so cool to finally finally finally get it fixed, even if there isn’t help for all of my Health Stuff.

#this is kinda about dentist work and GI issues #when I was 18 I asked for the dentist to fix something and she said no. lol. she said it would probably fix itself and that the surgery for #it was frustrating for the surgeon and the patient and it was painful and tricky. #but I have dental insurance now and apparently after 8 years they now use lasers and it takes like 30 minutes and isn’t that bad! #also for my GI issues??? I’ve always struggled with the ‘eat more fiber’ advice because it never helps and often makes it worse #but recently! a doctor explained various types of fiber! and recommended I increase one and decrease the other! and I’m so bad at changing m #my diet so it’s a slow process to test out the advice. but so far it seems to be helping! either that or the slight improvement is coinciden #either is possible. but still! new knowledge! new strategies! new understandings of old strategies! #it’s really cool #soren learning to survive capitalism

[nothinggold13]

*watches the prequel trilogy with the og trilogy once* GUYS I THINK I UNDERSTAND STAR WARS NOW

#star wars #I have enough chaotic thoughts that I could let this take over my blog for a short time but I probably won’t lol #it’s just that I spent the prequels going ‘ok but this is Bad’ a lot of the time #but then I followed them with the og trilogy (which I’d at least 60% seen before) and suddenly that new background information MADE SENSE #like. Darth Vader. he really IS protective of Luke from the get go. like. hello Anakin. #so like. parts of it are still a bit of a dumpster fire. #BUT I SEE THE FRAMEWORK NOW #brb thinking about Leia carrying her mother’s sadness. that’s a thought. ‘Beautiful and kind and sad’ #like. just. oof. #I also actually understand why the prequels are Bad now which is fun and I’m temporarily obsessed with them #may watch TFA at some point because I wanna meet Rey and Finn but I will not complete the sequel trilogy lol #little bro says the sequels Aren’t Star Wars and I preemptively agree but I just wanna steal the good parts to add to my mind #may watch Rogue One at some point too #and then we’ll see if I submit myself to the devastation of the clone wars because I probably shouldn’t but also it would probably fix me #I’m gonna shut up now. I should get ready for bed.

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

https://www.tumblr.com/hotvampireadjacent/731711141796085760

Is Kaiju Tegu ok? People get so bad with Tegu care

I’ve never cared for tegu so I don’t have enough information to comment on if something is or is not safe for them other than “please don’t leave groceries where your reptiles can reach them because reptiles don’t always choose edible to reptiles items” since that’s just a general rule of keeping any animal free-roaming in your home.

I haven’t kept up with that blog since they decided to tone police me in a very rude and condescending comment so I don’t really have much to say on the person or the lizard here.

#From what I remember about them they seemed competent with animal care though #so since I don’t know enough about the species I’m going to assume the best #regardless of my personal distaste for them due to old beef that wasn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things #I don’t think it was their intention but saying this sort of thing to someone with a cluster b comes off #well #not great #because as it turns out I do have difficulty not engaging or having exaggerated responses #because I have don’t ignore and have an exaggerated response to things disorder (paraphrased) #so anyway while I don’t want any further drama with this person and am not going to assume they’re bad at animals I know very little about #I am still quite cross about this despite it being over a year ago lol #It sounds like a petty grudge to most people I’m sure but I really don’t care what other people think about #my feelings towards a person #especially when they aren’t feelings I voice unprompted

[poirot]

anyone here read agatha christie and wants to let me know what they thought about ‚a haunting in venice‘ (or any of the other kenneth branagh christie adaptions)

#because like #i don’t really like them #but I feel like I’m on a lonely island with this opinion LOL #especially when it comes to haunting in Venice #but maybe I just feel like this because.. #.. I literally know no one who reads christie #and I feel like the movies can be quiet entertaining when you did not read christie #i just hate branaghs version of poirot tbh ahsjd #i feel like he had a deep misunderstanding of the character #same with ariadne oliver in a haunting in Venice #which is a shame because she is such a fun character #but then I mostly see positive opinions about the movie #and then I ask myself if I’m being nitpicky ahsjd #especially because complaining about bad christie adaptions is one of my favorite things LOL #i watched all the new bbc christie adaptions #which should tell you how much I like to suffer ahsjd #shut up sabrina #Agatha christie

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

I’m posting this knowing it’s not what my followers here care about. Let’s call it self care and not willing ignorance.

Anyway, anyone feeling up for vent art? Vent art that doesn’t even make sense!?

#personal post #personal art #vent art #eyestrain #the longer my hair gets the more I feel I’m trapped in my own ugly body but I’m too afraid of change to do anything about it lol #I’m kinda actively depressed recently #which you wouldn’t guess by all the fanart I made- #but things have actually been going really bad for me and it’s common for me to use art to cope #it’s like my ONE good coping mechanism #and it helps pass the time while feeling productive #because at the end of it I’ve MADE something and that something is mine and it’s GOOD #At least sometimes it’s good #in the moment #idk #this is a bit of a ramble I’m gonna go

[hannahhasafact]

I truly hate all of my art right now including the thing I’m currently working on, but damn it I’m still going to finish it and post it because the concept is cute to me and maybe other people will also think the concept is cute

#ramblings #venting #I’ve just been looking at all of my art lately and been like ‘wow. you are bad at art.’ and then I don’t draw because even though I want to #I hate what I produce #and I know that I’m not the worst because even today I got nice things said about my art but I just feel like I’m so shit at art #and I’ve been drawing for so long and am still so bad. #anyways. I want to feel happy drawing again but right now I’m not and it makes me really sad. #but even if I hate my art maybe someone will like it #anyways. #unrelated but my nose is hurting so bad I think there dust in my heater that’s been messing with me and bijou because I’ve been stuffed up #but also yesterday I went out into the cold and I think I got a cut in my nose because today if I bother it it stings #(and I also was like ‘this face sunscreen burned my face’ I think the cold fucked up my face lol

[akkivee]

mentally ill about stage mtr if i’m being quite honest lol:

*collapses to my knees* AYUKAWA TAIYOU I KNOW YOU CANT HEAR ME AND WOULDNT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND ME IF YOU COULD BUT I NEED YOU TO KNOW I WOULD D—

*crying* LIKE PLS THIS MANS DANCING BRINGS ME TO LITERAL TEARS

IF YOU LOOKED UP ON MEME DICTIONARIES UNDER ‘HAVE YOU SEEN A MAN SO BEAUTIFUL YOU STARTED CRYING’ AYUKAWA TAIYOUS JAKURAI WOULD BE PICTURED

I QUITE LITERALLY DOWNLOADED BLENDER ON MY LAPTOP TO LEARN HOW TO 3D MODEL HE HAD ME DOWN SO BAD AFTER WATCHING HIM PERFORM BLAST WOLF FOR THE FIRST TIME

I CANT BELIEVE THE STAGE TOOK HIS JAKURAI AWAY FROM HIM AND FROM US HE HELD IT TOGETHER BUT MANS WAS PRACTICALLY CRYING AT THE FINAL BOP2023 PERFORMANCE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—

god like…………………………. this is some of the hardest loss i’ve been struggling to process i can’t imagine anyone else playing such a flawless 2.5D sensei other than ayukawa-san 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

he and hayami-san had the time of their lives making dad jokes in front of thousands lol during their cross talk and i’ll never forget the slight awe he had when hayami-san made a pun using his name lol

it was a sun = taiyou kinda joke iirc and i feel like he did use it further down the line 😭😭😭😭

UGH ugh uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh god the stage mtr scene i never stop thinking about was their rep live skit, the last one i think????? where dohifu got into hijinks trying to stop sensei from doing his job bc they were worried he’d consumed alcohol via treats hifumi brought

they wound up circling him and then lifting him off the ground in a very strange but hilarious sequence of events and jakurai laughingly told them it’d been a very long time since he’d been carried in any sort of fashion and he thanked them for bringing fun into his life EXCEPT!!!!!! ITS AN AD-LIB AND IM CERTAIN THAT WAS AYUKAWA-SAN TOUCHED BY HOW MUCH FUN HE WAS HAVING WITH THEM I HATE IT HERE

i can’t remember which day of bop2023 it was but in that mad scramble of wardrobe changes he accidentally had a button left undone on his tdd jakurai shirt and i know how that sounds that i noticed it but the way he smoothly buttoned it as he descended stairs is even more seared into my brain lmao

ayukawa-san is buff as hell lmao the ease at which he carried ramuda during king of kings was immaculate lmao and i’m not strong enough to pretend like i didn’t imagine a gym bros hitojaku au based on how swole they are lmao

he breached the 190cm mark in height and the way he reacts to others reacting to his height cracks me up lmao throwback to that one time he walked in to record bright and dark i think and one of the staff just blurted out, ‘you’re huge!!!!!’ and ayukawa-san responded, ‘i sure am!!!!! 😃’ LOL

in the interest of talking about the other actors i’m cutting myself off but i’m not joking when i say i hate here pls i always quote this but hayami-san was so right when he said the stage actors can’t just be easily replaced, they are the characters for a lot of people too 😭😭😭😭

hirofumi-san’s hifumi was peak host ngl lol

the bat and mtr actors got along insanely well after their play and the way hirono-san and ide-san bullied hirofumi-san only for it to just like, bounce off the man bc he was that self assured and a diva is so funny lmao but that’s exactly why his host hifumi was flawless lol

not that his hifumin wasn’t fun either!!!!!!! stage hifumin doesn’t get to be as silly as his canon counterpart so i can’t blame hirofumi-san for that lol

but his switch from hifumin to host is so insane like i don’t have words to describe how it rotted my brain tbh lmao

so like, i definitely mourned kodai-san’s doppo when he left the role but ik it was bc i liked how obvious he played doppo’s crush on jakurai LOL

ide takuya had me by the balls the moment i saw him tho but we’ll get back to that in a sec lol i still weep over the puppy dog eyes kodai-san always gave sensei lol

throwback to that time he asked sensei to pump his stomach (iirc) and was very disappointed when jakurai shot him down before he could finish the sentence LOL

vocally, i like his doppo a smidge 🤏 better like his screaming hits different than ide-san’s and i do find myself missing it sometimes listening to stage mtr’s older songs lol

but enough about him let’s talk about idedoppo LOL

i’m not kidding when i say i stanned from the the moment i saw him but i am uniquely weak to long haired punks you can’t put him in front of me and expect me to not accept him immediately LOL

he goes so crazy as dopopoppo too THAT FINAL BOP2023 WHERE HE RAN YARDS TO DEFEND HIFUMI????? HE HAD THE CROWD YELLING DURING HIS SOLO IN MTRS REP LIVE????? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

him messing with hirofumi-san for not being able to do finger choreography and hirofumi-san tickled by being messed with 🥺🥺🥺

(hirofumi-san very much could do the finger choreography when it mattered btw lmao)

AND THE SONG HE MADE UNDER HIS OWN NAME DEDICATED TO DOHIFU?????????? AND HAD HIROFUMI-SAN GUEST STAR IN THE MV?????? PLS THEY LOVED MTR I HATE IT HERE

#vee queued to fill the void #my love for stage mtr was a relic of being obsessed with them before bat changed my life #but it’s transcended solely because of ayukawa-san tbh lmao #i didn’t even talk about the stage’s writing for jakurai lmao he’s a well meaning asshole LOL #his writing and kuukou’s being connected a little was one of the few aspects of kuukou’s i appreciated lol #sensei’s always had bad foot in mouth syndrome but it’s RLY bad in stage since i feel like he experiences consequences for it lol #or experiences them more overtly which is fun lol #since i’m so insane about stage mtr i really can’t imagine being as crazy about the new set lol #like i have nothing to say lol 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 good luck godspeed to them tho 👍