#because bill is stupid

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No time to play. You are being sent away.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #yu ziyuan #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #Do you know how hard it was to *not* do a 'Sold To One Direction' spoof comic? It took nearly all my will power. #Mostly because it misaligns a little too far off from the canon events and vibes. #But sit with me for a moment. Consider it: #“BEEP BEEP BEEP. I threw my pillow at my alarm clock. ”Wei Wuxian get your lazy ass downstairs!“ Yu Ziyuan yelled. #I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see my grey orbs staring back at me. #I put my long straight black hair in a ponytail with a red ribbon. #I went downstairs to see my adoptive mother holding a bottle of vodka and a cigarette. #'Listen up whore! I need money to pay the bills so I sold you. Your new owners will be here any minute so go pack!' #I stormed upstairs. There was no way I was going to let her sell me to a creepy old man! #I decided to run away. Since I'm not like other girls I don't have very many friends. #My gay friend Lan Zhan was mean but he lived like a block away. #As I opened the door I saw Wen Chao blocking the door. 'Ello Love. We're your new owners!' #I rolled my eyes and pushed him. 'Aren't you from that stupid Wen Sect? There's no way in hell I'm going with you!' #Hey again. It's me the OP of this blog taking a pause. I haven't actually read this story before aside from the memes #and I am honestly reeling from how this watpad fic chapter ends. What do you mean one of the one direction boys chloroforms her??? #Chapter 2 is so much worse #Why is there such a strong focus on the *eyes* of every boy!!! #This fanfic is a horror story actually. I came into it trying to make a funny parody but I got in over my head. Dear God. #It's me again. Several minutes have passed and I'm on chapter 4. What the FUCK is going on here? #I feel like I opened up pandora's box hoping for a fun little treat and got the plauge upon me. Dont read this fic.

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Thought of something VERY funny and VERY stupid I could do with my Mina funko today.

(original comic by @/punkitt-is-here, Bill font by @/ashyslashyy)

#Hayley Speaks #Gravity Falls #Bill Cipher #Mina #My Art #My OCs #Weed // #Yes it's stupid but yes I'm also going tag it because it's funny

[irregularbillcipher]

so god forbid i’m seen just as an average human being

#bill cipher #andrew kryptos #gravity falls #not gonna tag flatland because it seems too tangentially related but you guys get why i draw their mortal designs grayscale and victorian #for anyone going 'what's going on with baby bill's chest???' that's a victorian scoliosis brace #they're mostly covered by clothes usually but with a low collar you would be able to see parts of it #i usually translate his mild irregularity to scoliosis #just realized there's no full drawing of canon era bill in his stupid used car salesman suit. ah well #just know the jacket has a smilar triangle shape to the jacket he wears in the last flatland era drawing and has triangle buttons #you guys have seen it i posted that design before #a good portion of these drawings is just me going 'hee hee victorian fashion fun.' loved drawing andy's stupid big coat #also-- if you notice there's a jump in bill's clothing quality from the pictures where he's around 8 to the one where he's a teen #that's chuck's doing. he was like 'well if you're going to work in a tailor shop you should look the part >:(' #and bought bill a 'uniform' so he had some nicer clothes. bill's folks don't really bother getting him nicer clothes most of the time #but if someone else is paying they won't turn it down and he picked up on that

[daftpatience]

one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it

#theres no peace #every little thing reminds me we are poor #seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time #im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly #the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job #and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support #and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money #because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live #its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin #time #cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for #sorry for the ranting i cant sleep #truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin #more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful #i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it #i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things #spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income #not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it

[tswwwit]

Though I haven't gone into much detail about Stan and Ford in the Familiar AU, I've thought of something funny.

The Stans went on Unspecified Adventures together when they were younger men. Partners, in fact! And while I'm likely never going to get into the details of their eventual falling out - there's potential in those adventures!

Who knows. Maybe monsterfucking kinda runs in the Pines family, but not the one you'd think.

Stan chatting up a Siren, before Ford has to yank his brother back by the shirt. Wondering where the hell Stan went, only to find him partying with some nymphs in a lake and coming THIS close to being drowned. Hell, maybe when Stan describes one of his exes as a 'shrill harpy', he's being literal about it.

A twenty-something on the prowl and on the adventuring path is gonna run into SO many tempting creatures - and the number of times Ford saved Stan's dumb ass from human-ish ladies would go into the DOZENS.

#this is a shitpost #Not necessarily canon but funny for me to think about #'Holy Moley Look at the bazoongas on that gal!!' #'Stan that's a Medusa. Do NOT look up' #Yes I know Oglaf did that joke but it's still funny to me #There's so many mythical beings that are basically DESIGNED to tempt straight men and you know Stan stumbled into a bunch of them #Ford out here with face in hands watching Stan flirt with a lady then having to save his dumb brother's ass #For the love of god Stan do not follow strange women into bogs because 'she really digs me!' #She's going to eat your bones Stanley. No not like that. Please. #That's all in the past but it certainly makes for some memories #Dipper meeting or hearing about one of Stan's Exes and going Dude what the Hell #Oh Yeah?? Like Dipper's one to talk #Said with a meaningful glance at Bill's stupid grinning face

[raspberrii-soda]

So all the crew members for speedstorm have the fucking uh, uniform thingy on, look at him

LMAOOOO

#He looks so stupid #How do you put clothes on a literal sour ball #Is it glued on with bubblegum or caramel? #wreck it ralph #sour bill #The imae is compressed because I took it from a gif

[symbiotic-slime]

for my one lovely mutual who asked, @random-trash-animal

here’s all the venom merch in my room!

we got

art wall

comics wall + painted shoe boxes with comics

venom shrine #1 (some figures from my best friend ever @fist-of-vengeance)

venom shrine #2 featuring crystals

space knight poster!!

venom puzzle

venom bookcase with a peeta mallark pop figure I shittily remade into the hunger era Eddie Brock

venom tsum tsum also from @fist-of-vengeance

and

a sick ass venom crystal skull I got at a local rock and gem show!!

#the autism wins every time I step into any collectibles store #this is what happens when you have adult money without the adult bills #and also what happens when I have access to a credit card and eBay #I *will* spend stupid amounts of money on a singular comic book and no one can stop me #also yes this was partially an opportunity to show off my collection of venom trinkets :3 #sam’s ramblings #room tour #the venom skull is also sick because I can pretend I’m hamlet with it #I have not read hamlet #I just think it’s a funny thing to do

[strangesickness]

i think my favorite part of IT chapter two is when eddie crashes his car. like it kind of has everything. eddie insane road rage <3. eddie being a bit of a dick "it's my job to assess risks", it has "i love you mommy" which makes me want to jump off a bridge. eddie gesturing wildly instead of holding onto the wheel. his stupid fucking "edward kaspbrak speaking" <3 the face he makes when he's talking to mike lol. like he's expecting the car display to change. "EDDIE! are you okay?" "yeah! i'm pretty good."

#this of course isn't even mentioning how the phone calls might be my favorite part of the film in general... #richie being a loser <3 #patty <3 #bev throwing shit at tom <3 #ben in his fucking zoom meetings... <3 #bill being kind of the worst guy in the world and also bad at his job <3 #its hard to choose a fav scene tho... i'm still not over “probably like he was as a kid... the best” and the jade o h my god the jade #and when richie kills henry and when eddie stabs henry #also incredibly normal about the leper scene tbh... #also enjoyed when mike drugged bill and also their stupid “i love you”'s at the end #this movie has a lot of duds for me (i fucking hate adrian's death scene but thats more of an issue with king than the film #i also hate the barrens scene and the two dead children scenes are very meh to me. also not a fan of the pennywise fight because my EYES #why are there so many flashing lights... i have to close my eyes for half that scene because it gives me a headache) #but is overall sooooo silly <3

[thegirlwholivesin-delusion]

I really need some best friends and friends who are activists like me.

The lack of interest of people in changing the world around them pains me.

If you are a teen activist/do care about the world we live in and want to change it even if it's a little bit please interact with this post ;-;

#Not that it is that bad of a thing #It's just that #Someone calling your reasons to boycott starbucks because of a genocide as “karen behaviour” and saying that in the future you will boycott #Everything and everyone and when I ask her if she knows what genocide I'm even talking about her response is just #Don't know + Don't care #It's really annoying tbh #And the lack of interest all my friends have when I try to tell them about bills that will affect their social media usage because most of #The social media they are on is american bases #Is just shocking #Do they not care at all about how their lives will be affected by this shit #Or do I care too much about this #I really don't get it #Well atleast we agreed on not going to starbucks 🤷🏻‍♀️ #but still continuously calling my reason for not going to starbucks as stupid and stuff really didn't sit right with me..... #seriously if you are a teen activist please interact with this post ;-; #stop kosa #kosa bill #not q #rambleeeee #genocide #activism #activist #teen activist #teen activism #desiblr

[thatonegayship]

I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 🥺 your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food

INCREDIBLE!!!!!

#billdip #I honestly loved this story start to finish with the ambience and quick pace #hadn't considered the possibility of Bill and Dipper actually working *together* but it's always a good time when they do ❤️ #sorry it took so long to reblog 🥲 #I read it like- Right when you posted. But I had to catch a plane and then drive an extra hour home and immediately get on zoom for class #and today i was just all around exhausted so i slept roughly 70% of the entire day dndsjdndnd #all that to say that I had your fic in the back of my mind and I very much wanted to set some time aside and re-read it when I got the chan #honestly with how well you set things up I would've loved to see your own rendition of their first kiss #You established their relationship really well at the start and brought them together by the end after outsmsrtong those bandits #it feels like you have a better understanding of who they are to each other than even i do 😌 very much a fan #i love when stories incorporate those sort of 'habits' that the love interests fall into #that confuses character A while character B is so clearly using it as an excuse to get close and spend more time with them #i squealed like a maniac when Bill was like oooph lemme walk you home 😏🤠 #sir i am going to wrangle you up if you don't compose yourself #and Dipper's just wary of him because people as handsome as bill used to pick on him 😢 #little does he know he's grown into a 10/10 cutie patootie that any cowboy would be stupid NOT to smooch #I'm a simple man. I read oblivious low-confidence cowboy being pursued by a hottie on a horse. I lose my shit #Awesome wonderful writing!!! so happy to have caught your eye and i hope to continue pumping out content for this wonderfully weird ship

[whatthefuckisasweep]

forget canon the real canon is that the losers are all well and having their annual water gun fight and acting like 12 yr olds all over again

…….rip stan……. He couldnt grab his gun fast enough…….

#it #it movie #losers club #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #stan uris #stanley uris #my art #HDJDJDJS #I love art because i can serve my own stupid sense of humor #it ch 2 #id imagine ben and bev are tag teaming but then bev betrays ben #and everyone gasps #and mike and bill are at a standoff #bills gonna try to revive stan #in the end georgie fucking dominates #however eddie comes in second place with his tiny tiny gun #look he gets REALLY invested in it #maybe i should write this into a fic hahaha

[irregularbillcipher]

bill cipher is the character ever. he swears in cartoon sound effects. he has beef with a baby. he didn't know what colors were until he was like at least 27. he's the most powerful being to ever visit earth. he only exists in dreams. he's an alcoholic. he's a victorian. he almost certainly worked retail. he doesn't know about his own gender. he also doesn't care about his own gender. he's depressed. he likes silly straws. he knows everything. he's stupid as shit. he thinks that normal is just a setting on a washing machine. he's touchy about his sides being uneven. he's a flatland oc. he's owned by disney. he responds to "willy." he thinks in all caps. he has a reddit account

#i always think it's really funny when people rewatch gravity falls and are like 'oh bill is uh. kinda stupid' like yeah!!!!!!!!! #that's why he rocks so much!!!! he's just a pathetic little man with a manipulative streak and godlike powers banking on the sales skills h #was forced into learning as a flatlander!!! he's so uncool in every way and that's why he's great!!!!! #his whole plan is just 'manipulate people a bunch so i can throw the sickest rager with my pals because i'm a repressed victorian' #which is DELIGHTFUL! it makes him one of the most funny characters ever #also i purposefully put 'touchy about his sides being uneven' next to 'flatland oc' for a reason #another url i considered was irregularbillcipher so. that's my highly specific hc of the day

[trianglesimpfordpines]

the fact that ford ultimately breaks down and is about to actually make a deal with bill to spare stan and the kids during weirdmageddon is like...a really powerful moment i think. this man has been trying to hold the line for three decades. but nobody could keep that up forever! it may have taken him longer to crack than it would have taken most people, and ford may be insanely determined and resilient, but in the end, he’s only human. even he has his breaking point and weirdmageddon was it. stan ended up finishing the job and delivering the final blow not because ford “was never really the hero,” not because ford’s efforts against bill didn’t actually matter, but because ford was worn out. bill’s defeat took a team effort from stan and ford because humans are meant to help and support each other and that’s what makes us great; we’re not meant to carry the weight of the world alone. and when that’s exactly what you’ve been doing for three decades, all to prevent something that ends up happening anyway...anyone would break down at that point. even the greatest heroes are falliable. even the most perseverant people can be worn down. even the strongest people need other people.

#i'm too tired to be coherent but man. i actually Love that ford doesn't end up being the one to finish bill off. #i love when characters fail not because they're weak or stupid but because what they were trying to do just... #wasn't something they could actually reasonably manage. #imo his Struggle against bill was doomed from the start #if stan hadn't brought him back to dimension 46'\ and ultimately taken up the torch to defeat bill? #i think ford would 100% have died fighting bill #and weirdmageddon would have happened anyway eventually #ford trying to keep bill out is like...homura from madoka magica fighting walpurgisnacht over and over again #hoping that Maybe This Time she can win. but she can't. it's a doomed effort #gravity falls #gravity falls meta #stanford pines #ford pines

[tswwwit]

Hey man me again, it’s nearly 3am and i was curious. What would theoretically happen if someone (say a human bully, or a lesser uninformed demon or smthn of the sort) were to put down and talk absolute shit about Dipper with the anticipation of Bill joining in and/or being impressed and agreeing cause here’s this super cool and sexy guy surely he also thinks Dipper’s a useless freak right? How would Bill take this kinda confrontation about his husband? Would his reaction vary depending on wether or not Dipper was there? (I lowkey think it would but I’m just a worm in a bait bucket uk) (also sorry this comes across like a fucking critical thinking question from a middle school textbook)

At best someone talking shit about Dipper gets a long lecture about all the reasons Dipper is way, way cooler than them! And some broken bones. That's Bill's husband, he picked a great partner, and he is not going to pretend otherwise for someone else's ego.

The rant's absent if Dipper's around, but frankly? It'd be better for the bully/demon if Dipper was around to hear someone dissing him to Bill. In that Bill would refrain from the most gruesome acts within his mortal's sight.

Though if they're smart, they'll notice the way Bill's looking at them, and take that brief amount of time to run.

#answers #Bill's less verbose about all of Dipper's positive traits within his hearing range #But then the same goes for Dipper #They don't often talk each other up within earshot #Dipper because fuck knows Bill's ego doesn't need more feeding #And Bill because he doesn't wanna look 'soft' #Yeah Bill. That's going Great for you isn't it #Considering the way you stomped on that bully's foot so hard his metatarsals shattered #Just because he tried to make a snide comment about Dipper to this 'cool guy' #Assuming that Bill would agree #Dipper has not missed the treatment of people talking shit about him #Perhaps sometime one of his former bullies pulled some crap. Typically bully stuff. Dipper got very tense and upset. #Only to watch Bill immediately shut that shit down with a quickness and vicious glee #And perhaps a splattering of blood #Bill gets kissed stupid afterwards for reasons *he* can't discern #But Dipper's wanted to do that. Do a Revenge. Resisted for moral reasons; gritted his teeth and tried to be the Better Person #And he's so so absurdly grateful that someone did it FINALLY #That there WAS Revenge and he didn't have to get his hands dirty #Dipper didn't have to muster the courage. Bill didn't even hesitate #And it was SO poetically delivered that Dipper has to mentally salute Bill for his ability for creative nastiness #Bill figures out WHY eventually. And then is very smug about it. #But in the moment he's just oh wow!! hey there!!! Didn't expect THAT from Dipper; usually he hates something so very plainly cruel #Don't catch Bill complaining; he's already trying to compile a list of targets that'll get this reaction again

[the-trans-dragon]

I need them to lower the price of soup. What the fuck do you mean $2.68 for a can of soup. It's soup. In a can. What the fuck.

#sorenhoots #i remember having this exact thought when it was around $1.50. it wasn't that long ago!!!! my god. if they go up to $3 for a can of soup il #fuck i dunno but jesus Christ why is everything always getting more expansive #dont say inflation. inflation isnt the anwer i want. give me an answer i can do something about ugh. SOUP? Jesus christ. IN A CAN. over $2? #dont even get me started on milk #used to go on sale for two gallons for $5. now its 2 for $6; and when its not on sale its fucking $10.19 or some shit. for fucks sake??? #minimum wage here is fucking $7.25 an hour. we have businesses paying their workers like $2 an hour because “tips.” stupid fucking country #a fucking hour of work doesnt even gaurantee that you can afford a CAN of SOUP. #because rent is so high and bills are so high and doctor appointments are so high. and now soup is over two dollars and its so stupid