#being disabled fucking sucks

[lovethisfat37]

I'm in so much pain. There's a lump on my lower back, presumably a swollen lymph node from this cold I have, and it's pressing on my sciatic nerve. My right leg simple will not work. Breathing hurts. I can't sit up.

I just want someone to hold me so I can relax for minute 😭

#tier rambles #being disabled fucking sucks #being disabled without my caregiver sucks extra hard #i miss my husband so much in times like this #he always helped me #always

[yourheartinyourmouth]

googling “jobs for gay idiot adhd losers who can’t do math and have no skills and have never been able to mentally and emotionally handle the responsibility of being employed” weirdly didn’t bring back any results???????????

#adhd #hi i have adhd i sound intelligent bc i have surface level knowledge of many things but actually i am not that good at anything and #while i should qualify as disabled no one but other neurodivergents seems to agree #i suck at Being An Employee and don’t think i should have to do something that makes me Actuvely And Emotionally Miserable #for some reason this makes people BIG MAD #including ppl who aren’t supposed to judge you. like therapists #bc protestant morality is a fucking cancer & society at large is terminal #oh well #guess i’ll die #🤷‍♀️ #i’m not good at anything but society doesn’t have a place for ppl like me #we’re just supposed to fuck off and die i guess

[opens-up-4-nobody]

If accommodations no longer help you, I'm curious at what point they stopped being helpful.

#bc for me: once u get to the graduate level its like sink or swim bitch #u have to fucking read and nothing is gonna make it easier so fucking read or find a different job #i dont kno how u accomodate a grad student. like u have things that have to happen. u cant just let someone not do their job they got hired #to do. so like u just select for ppl who arent extremely disabled bc i just dont think u could do it otherwise #u would b too bad at ur job. every prof i say im dyslexic to is like: oh! r u registered with the disability office? #and im like no. wtf would they even do for me. im sure i could get lots of accommodation stuff but functionally i just have to suck it up #and work harder. but im also fucked up about having a learning disability so like maybe im just being difficult #idk. most ppl dont wanna do jobs that they weren't designed for and cause them so much pain. but like i said. im sorta fucked up #learning disability #dyslexia #dyscalculia #adhd #dyspraxia #dysgraphia #poll #polls #unrelated

[joyflameball]

Happy disability pride month to anyone with depression. You have a disability too- the constant fatigue, exhaustion, not being able to get out of bed, emptiness, all of that, it's all part of this disability. Just because it's not a physical disability doesn't mean it's not a disability. I know it's easy to feel like it's not, but it is, and you aren't stealing valor by saying that. People don't normally feel exhausted all the time. People don't normally feel unable to get out of bed, or do stuff they love doing.

You're disabled too, you deserve a seat at the table.

#cassie rambles #disability #depression #actually depressed #disability month #this post is mostly for me because. it's hard for me to say i'm disabled even though a) i have adhd b) i have depression #both of which are disabilities #i guess it's because depression is seen as the ''being sad'' disorder #which no the fuck it isn't and if you think that's all it is you don't know shit about it #the way i describe it is. feeling like a weighted blanket #not in a good way either. feeling heavy and tired and unable to move without a lot of effort #easier comparison is feeling like you're weighed down by a bunch of sandbags #and like your mind is slower #it's just. constantly feeling exhausted. all the time #it sucks #mental disability

[sonego]

every time you see news about an athlete competing while injured and everyone's reactions are praising them like a hero bc that means they actually care about the team/sport/competition or whatever, imagine me as a dog barking at an evil creature in a horror movie. thanks

#the day we STOP glorifying pain i will finally know peace #try being in pain 24/7 !!!!! then tell me again it's a heroic and morally good !!!!!!! also fuck off #it's not heroic it's not good it's not manly it's not caring about winning what it IS is dangerous and reckless #and risking permanent damage and a disability #and i bet you fuckers would then start complaining about that same athlete 'underperforming' and 'not putting in enough effort' and shit #when maybe. MAYBE. if they'd taken care of the injury when it first arose that shit wouldn't have got worse and become a Big fucking problem #to be clear when i say you i mean a vague general you i see this all the time and rn it's aimed at no one in particular #and also i'm not blaming the athetles who keep competing through injuries i don't think it's their fault #i'm blaming these shit fucking reactions that everyone KEEPS having when it happens. pundits commentators fans etc #everyone is always praising these athletes these PEOPLE for how brave and daring they are for ignoring the pain they're in so they can help #the team or get a chance to win a race or a medal or a trophy or whatever #i understand it's not an easy or fun decision as a pro athlete to give up a chance at winning something #but i think we should DEFINITELY still encourage them to fucking give it up!!! even if it sucks even if it's a big win they're giving up!! #bc the risk of the injury getting worse and permanent and fucking up their career their LIFE for a very very long time if not forever is #just not worth it and not a risk to be taken lightly #i can't believe i have to keep complaining about this!!! still!!!!!! when will everyone learn!!!!! #what prompted this rant might not even be that bad but really i don't care the culture around this in sports needs to change asap #rant over i'm fucking MAD. and in pain (funnily enough lol) #nico.txt

[horce-divorce]

crazy how if you're not selling your time to an employer, suddenly everyone else thinks they're entitled to it. ie "you don't have anywhere to be, why can't you just do XYZABC for me?" as if i have nothing else important to do, ever, just because some authority figure isn't setting my schedule for me, or because those tasks don't bring me income, or whatever, it merely fucking keeps me alive. useless, I know

#me #and then they try to pull the 'we all have the same 24hrs in a day!' shit #no the fuck we do not. lmao. #being disabled is a 24/7/365 job with no breaks until i die. #being homeless is a 24/7 job. #i have to do so much shit all day that most ppl never have to think about #disability stuff #not to mention all the extra time i have to spend justifying my bare existence to everyone i fucking meet #its not just employers/employees or even housed/unhoused ppl. think of HOW MANY ppl could leave their abusers- #parents employers partners friends roommates schools anyone whos abusing them- #and just leave! #what if money was no object and no one ever had to put up w abuse in exchange for housing or sustenance. #it would render capitalism entirely pointless. #put that in your juice box and suck it

[fishyartist]

some quick doodles, basic idea so far's that johnny+kitty were in a bike accident, 13 survived but kitty didnt. theyre seperated bcause of this for years and theyre bitter+edgy about it but after the portal open and events occur theyre able to reconnect because love wins! <3

#danny phantom #also i like the idea of johnny being in a wheelchair being already part of his character rather then just some oooo look a BAD timeline.... #idk i just have Issues w that part of TUE but ANYWAYS ill talk about that later if i feel like it #not sure if its a spinal injury from the crash or if he already had that disability beforehand #latter seems more interesting 2 me atm but i need to think mor eon it #also im ignoring the dating teenagers shit from both of them. because yeah uh. that shit fucking sucks. #i have some ideas for tying this in w/ other stuff ive got floating around and also what to do w shadow #but those ideas r all loose+need more thought #theyre both like late 30s/early 40s or so here (deciding if i want kitty to visibly age #leaning towards yes on that but thats not reflected in the doodle)

[crabussy]

god I forgot how much staring at a screen for all my waking hours fucks me up and makes me miserable

#my eyes hurt so bad and my brain can barely form words #and I'm terrified to face my teacher tomorrow after she. did what she did two weeks ago #I'm safe please don't worry but #oh boy #there's a reason I have PRE BOOKED THERAPY for tomorrow after school #that's how fucking scared I am #and #the workload #is literally impossible to manage or complete as a disabled autistic person #not a hyperbole I have tried I have put every bit of energy I possibly have #including energy for. getting ready for bed or talking to my loved ones or masking or just going on a WALK #into homework. and it's still an impossible amount of work that I am Never able to complete by the deadline #hate being this way #hate teacherfs who traumatise me for being this way #has happened my whole fucking life and I STILL feel like a little kid every time #vent tw #listen to my gibberish boy #vent #this sucks. sorry you had to read this

[rassicas]

Whats your overall opinion on the splatoon 3 story mode?

alterna logs, music, environments, exploration, gameplay? great the story pacing, build-up, grizz's inconsistent characterization, the predictability of the "plot twist" to the point of feeling underwhelming, the weak/nonsensical character motivations, the lack of explanation for the setting, the conclusion to the octarian arc? Splatoon team bit off more they could chew and and we got something with a lot of spectacle but not a lot of sense under the surface. Bad

#asks #anyone starting shit on this post will be sniped #i still have an insane essay in the drafts about Why The Story Mode Sucked In Some Ways And Heres How They Could Have Fixed It #im this close to disabling the comments on my playthrough of rotm because of all the annoying ass comments of #'um the bear thing was good actually youre fucking stupid for being so invested' #my opinions during a delierious 13 hour straight playthrough do not reflect what my actual current thoughts are for fucks sake #bear thing dumb ill die on that hill but so many other elements of the story are Worse #rotm

[shu-of-the-wind]

as a queer disabled afab person i feel about those “what era would you have lived in if you could use a time machine?” games the same way i feel as an asexual person about those “if you had to repopulate the earth who would you bone” games because effectively speaking you’re asking me to look back at time periods (and they’re always the “most popular” time periods instead of the best researched ones too) that fundamentally reject my existence even more than society today does. like what would going back to the roaring 20s get me? electroshock therapy and an asylum??? no fucking thanks guys 

#they might give me cocaine as a treatment tho that might be interesting #but my fucking god #history #disability #asexuality #this decade might suck but i at least don't have to worry AS MUCH about being involuntarily committed for being queer

[ohshitthisbloghasothercolors]

I don't know what to do anymore. I can't work anymore. The fatigue is too bad and the brain fog is causing me problems at work. What little energy I have goes to my job so I can live, and I have nothing left for myself. I can't clean, it's a struggle to even shower or brush my teeth. I already had executive dysfunction from ADHD and fatigue and chronic pain from fibromyalgia BEFORE I got Covid and it all became a hundred times worse. Part of me wishes that they would just get it over with and fire me already because at least then I wouldn't have to put up with getting bitched at for things I genuinely cannot help and I could get unemployment for a little while. I give literally every bit of energy that I have to my job just to be treated like shit for it. My life is fucking Hell and I don't know how to fix it. Everyone tells me I just need to push and it pisses me off because this IS me pushing! It's just not enough. I'm so sick and tired of being treated like I'm lazy and incompetent when I'm actually just fucking disabled.

#personal #being disabled under capitalism fucking sucks

[thedisablednaturalist]

It fucking sucks to give up a dream job to protect your health and well-being. It's gonna be really hard to let it go. But I just have to hope a better opportunity will come my way later on that'll let me do the work I love at a pace that is more reasonable for someone with my physical ailments.

#wrenfea.exe #i love being a technician but its really hard #im constantly flaring up and i dont have a life outside of work #and thats with just part time technician work #i dont think i could handle 8 hours a day of physical labor #it fucking sucks to let that dream version of myself go. that ill never be able to be that person #i just have to have faith in myself that ill find my way #and become who im supposed to be #working while disabled #wren gets a job #chronic pain #chronic disability #spoonie #fibromyalgia #disability #chronic illness

[tony-andonuts]

Hey by the way. If you can't respect and acknowledge mentally AND Physically disabled people, people of color, immigrants who don't know your country's language, queer people (ESP TRANS PEOPLE), fat people, people who aren't of your religion, and overall anyone not like you,

YOU HAVE NO FUCKING BUSINESS WORKING IN HEALTHCARE!!!!!!!!!!!

#the amount of conservatives i work with makes me wanna derogatorily thow up and then shred them with my vomit covered teeth #when you work in healthcare you vow to help your patients/residents NO MATTER WHAT. #it doesnt matter if you think theyre delusional because theyre trans or you think theyre delusional #becauase they have dimentia. you fucking help that person out while acknowledging them as a HUMAN BEING #WHO DESERVES LOVE AND COMPASSION #its a stressful field to be honest but its so important to give others a better quality of life when you can #its too late for me to learn chinese but im still trying to learn small #words and phrases bclike #isolation fucking sucks #and the us healthcare system already makes chronically disabled people feel like invisible trash bc 'ew we dont wanna see *those* freaks #in public. #and i couldnt imagine experiencing that ON TOP OF NOT EVEN BEING ABLE TO SPEAK TO ANYONE!! #anyways the healthcare field is perfect for autistics and both low and high empathy people. so long as you have a bit of patience #tony speaks

[bedcorpse]

but yeah to piggyback off that post y'all have to understand that if you're not usamerican or got lucky in regards to english teachers, even writers like myself got so sick of being handed boring, surface-level interactions with media and being discouraged from anything else that ofc we hated having to explain why the curtains are blue. because it wasn't a discussion of "okay is this meant to set a tone? tell us something about the character, like is blue their favorite color? or is it meant to symbolize something deeper? what are the different ways we could interpret this?" it was "the curtains are blue because the main character is sad. we don't have time for anything else bc public schools are wildly underfunded and overcrowded depending on the district and i make like 40k a year so any differing opinions will be shrugged off at best and punished at worst."

#emma shut up #how about you apply some of your own nuance for literature to like. actual human beings. #like i LIKED english i write essays for fun in my adult life and put them on yewchewb. and i went thru a 'THE CURTAINS ARE JUST BLUE' phase #because it felt pretentious to me because we weren't engaging with the text on a level that mattered #also most assigned reading for classes suck sorry. like shakespeare and to kill a mockingbird are outliers #i had to read shit like the fountainhead which was so long and stupid we didn't even finish it #also i can't imagine being autistic or having a learning disability that made reading for comprehension difficult #and being forced to do that shit. like whata fuck i can barely remember what i read and now you want me to explain color palettes?

[thepoisonroom]

as a hard of hearing girly since birth it was honestly so validating the first time i took an ASL class and found out that it's considered very rude in Deaf culture to be like "never mind, it's not important" when someone asks you to repeat something, thereby excluding them from the conversation. like it's not the worst or most impactful part of having a hearing disability by a long shot but hearing people can be so thoughtless about how bad it sucks to feel like no one else places value on your ability to participate in communal/social life and bonding and they are fine with you sitting in a corner feeling confused and dismissed and excluded

#weirdly feel like it's very similar to how flippant people can be about accommodations for people with digestive issues/food intolerances #like yeah it won't kill you if you show up and you can't eat anything but bread but it sucks to feel like you can't participate in #the communal activities people are coming together to do #and after a while it just makes you feel like no one gives a shit about your presence of feelings except to consider them an inconvenience #like again it won't kill me not to know what anyone's talking about but it makes me feel infantilized and like a nuisance #like oh cool for you that you get to decide for me if it's important #and how convenient that you always decide that my ability to participate is less important #than your right to avoid the GRUELING ordeal of repeating whatever the fuck you said #it makes me so mad sometimes because it's so thoughtless able-bodied people truly don't spend a single fucking moment #thinking about the experience of having a disability #and this is again the smallest and least malicious expression of that but it still makes me so irate #just getting that validation that i wasn't being fussy about nothing was such a relief that it made me want to cry #personal nonsense

[hoothootmotherf-ckers]

.

#here we are at another anniversary #I think my actual first hospitalization was at the end of January #But shit started a few weeks before #so. #happy nine years of being disabled. #over a third of my life #And like it fucking sucks #But I’m still here #I am disabled. And I finally feel comfortable saying that #because yes I’m disabled enough. #and anyone who wants to say otherwise can fucking bite me #should I have to deal with this? Fuck no. #but I am and I’m here and I’m alive. #to seventeen year old me: you’re gonna have a rollercoaster of a time #there’s gonna be major ups and downs #but we’re surviving and even thriving despite it all #nine years ago I didn’t know if I could go to college #I didn’t know if I could ever hold down a job #and guess fucking what? I did it #you did it. #I have a migraine right now #and the last two years have been terrifying and like being seventeen again #but I have hope #I shouldn’t have to deal with it #pushing through these is not a sign of bravery or competence or effort #it’s just a sign that the world’s on some shit #but nine years later and I’m still here and doing the things I love #And that matters a lot.