The thing about testosterone being a controlled substance means that acess to it for hrt is restricted. While it makes access a significant issue for many people and an easy and effective way to prevent trans men and mascs from transitioning (as we've seen terfs campaign for and succeed at doing in Britain) it also means that is very easy for health care professionals to be able to take it away from trans men/mascs arbitrarily. This is most aborant in cases where trans men/mascs are forced to detransition to gain access to abortions after being raped. However, the first sign of an issues tangentially related to hormones a gp, without any training in trans people or hormones, can and will stop a person's testosterone. Apart from how stressful it is to know that for the rest of your life you'll be dependent on the goodwill of a random person, this has measurable negative consequences for a trans person subjected too it.
Going off t fucking sucks at the best of time, but being forced off t will most likely result in depression and worsening mental health for a trans man/masc, who are already one of the most likely groups to attempt suicide. It can also put a trans person at risk if they suddenly start being visibly trans again, especially if they're closeted in, say, a work place environment. Trans people, including trans men, are already one of the most targeted groups of harassment and violence and sexual assalt and forcibly reducing or stopping t can out people and risk their safety. And a gp won't see this or care about this, or attempt to treat a trans man/masc first or ask for their opinion or situation.
Ultimately, testosterone is seen as entirely optional and so the first resort when something goes wrong it to take it away, when it should be considered the last resort, and is considered the last resort for cis men. And as long as testosterone continues to be a controlled substance it will remain like this.
(edit for clarification: I am a kiwi, this post was intended as a general critique of accessing t through health care systems - based in my lived experience in NZ and what ive heard from international trans ppl; including but not limited to the USA)
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Passing as a trans man is a nuanced and complex topic, but one thing I have been noticing as somebody who is a cis-passing (white) trans man is the way I'm treated when there is conflict.
I've noticed that in conflict, people are almost meek around me, willing for me to try working with them up until a woman is involved. When a woman (or, really, anybody who the other party assumes is one) is part of the conflict, they direct all their anger and rage to them. It's fucking insane the way a woman is treated when there is conflict, even if it isn't her fucking fault. These people are fundamental cowards for seeing my manhood as the only reason they can't be openly hostile to me, but it reveals a lot about how a misogynist thinks on an almost primal level.
I'm watching the women and people around me I care about being torn apart by people, and that's unacceptable. I can't sit around to watch it, and I don't want to do that. I need other people to perhaps read this and remember to not stand by if there is something that you can tangibly do to help, even if it's to lend a listening ear or let the person vent.
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Having read bits of your post on To Be Continued, I'm curious about your thoughts on To Be Continued and The Promise even though I am not watching the former and dropped the latter.
Where would you say they rank on The Alan Scale?
I don't know what's happening to me, y'all because first I didn't want Yuan to be too petty in Unknown, and now . . .
I ain't that mad at To Be Continued
Therefore, it's not on the Alan scale (yet! We still have one more episode so shit could change) because the show is kinda basic, but not in a bad way. It's checking off the BL boxes, but, oddly enough, it called out itself in this past episode for doing that.
It's not City of Stars level of awareness, but both leads acknowledged the reason they separated for ten years was pointless. They both apologized for the hurt they caused, then they chilled on the couch and cracked jokes. It was rushed as many of us assumed it would be, but it happened.
In the beginning, I did not like Achi. I thought he was disrespectful to Ji and pushy. Then by episode three, I was completely on Achi's side while being livid at Ji for being distant.
But I've never been upset at Gumbie. He is perfect. He is everything. He is love personified. He resides in my heart. Forever.
Then, once both men stated that they should have actually talked to each other after they had sex as teenagers, I just wasn't as pissed at either of them as I had been for the six previous episodes.
I'm still upset. Let me not gloss over that because I had to deal with hating them for various reasons most of the series, but just like Sun for 7 Days Before Valentine, I see the growth. They aren't the same raggedy bitches that walked into the series.
Unlike this motherfucker.
Phu was exactly who he was at the beginning of The Promise. Not one thing changed about him. He would still run away from the problems HE CAUSED instead of answering for any of the bullshit he pulled.
Nan had already forgiven Phu before Phu even came back into his life. Hell, Nan had forgiven Phu AS PHU WAS WALKING AWAY! Yet we still had to witness Phu be the victim.
There is only one show for me that has really gotten the "I left him because I love him" right and that's our Lord and Savior known as Our Dating Sim.
And it's because none of these other shows know how to balance the reason for leaving with the anger of being left. THAT'S IMPORTANT!
The Promise didn't allow Nan to be angry AND for Phu to acknowledge his part in that anger. Phu just kept crying. How can a relationship happen when Nan could never trust that Phu wouldn't run away again since Phu never saw what he did as wrong?
To Be Continued at least acknowledged that both the reason for Achi leaving and Ji being upset were insignificant. It's not great, but it's the basic amount needed to start fresh because it makes things equal. No one is left standing on high ground thinking his actions were right and the other guy's were wrong.
So, yeah, basic. Bare minimum. But it checked the boxes.
And it also had Poppy's fine ass, so . . .
I ain't that mad at it.
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We had a good 6 days where my husband's ankle was improving little by little. But apparently getting in and out of the shower by himself was way too much, and now he is an excruciating pain again.... I fucking hate this. I just want my husband to be okay.
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I headcanon Kaisa as being just slightly hypotensive. I’m thinking normal blood pressure around 11/7. Most importantly, I headcanon that occasionally it may drop and she knows, but doesn’t do anything about it.
So sometimes she’ll be in the library, and will be on her feet for too long, or maybe it’ll be too hot and she hasn’t let go of her cape, or maybe she even has been so caught up in her job that she hasn’t eaten or drink water in three hours. And she’ll begin sweating, and ignore it. Then she’ll feel lightheaded, and think it’s fine. And then her eyesight will get hazy, and she’ll think ‘nah, I can take it’. Then her hearing will sizzle and her mind will spin and she’ll still do nothing. And if someone’s nearby they’ll begin noticing she’s pale and unresponsive, and that’s because she’s trying to not fall down and wondering why she’s seeing dark spots. But mostly, that probably happens when she’s alone, so when she refuses to sit down and drink water/eat/lie down, she’ll just faint for a bit (on the hardwood floor. Ouch.) and get back within a couple of seconds (and just go about her day like nothing happened)
Anyway the place I’m trying to get to is: imagine Kaisa is hanging out with the Hilda gang for some reason, and at some point they notice the blood draining from her face and her eyes going unfocused and then she just drops unconscious on the floor with no prior warning. Imagine the chaos. Imagine Hilda about to slap her and being held back by David while Frida tries to remember the cpr training they had in the Sparrow Scouts. Imagine Kaisa waking back up suddenly and scaring the living shit out of them
Kaisa already has such undead vampire vibes, I just think that’d be hilarious 😭😭
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