#blurry photography makes me feel . so much

[chrisbangs]

its 5:45 am and i just need to get this off my chest but when i see blurry pictures of chan my heart starts fucking racing smtimes like there's a very specific genre of pictures of him that get my head dizzy and my heart racing and it's always when it's kinda blurry and hazy and it makes me feel so many fucking emotions i dont know how to explain but it just drives me fucking insane like there's smth abt it smth that makes it feel so hazy and soft and dizzying in a wonderful way i don't really know how to explain it but it makes me feel sick in the head because i just . i want him

#blurry photography makes me feel . so much #it's actually gut wrenching . i don't know how else to explain #but it feels so intimate LIKE I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO SAY IT #it feels so tangible and like god this is my vision of you #even in the hazy lights with eyes half closed from the feeling this is you #i need to be put on medication immediately #idk you guys 😂👍i'm gonna kms if i think abt it too much #oh he makes my stomach tie up in knots #he genuinely makes me feel fucking drunk with adoration smtimes like #i feel like i'm dizzy and my senses aren't there anymore when i see him smtimes #it's not looking good ! #li.txt #chan thoughts

[agendabymooner]

SOMETHING WATCHFUL !!! DANIEL R. X FEM!READER (18+)

summary: he finally understood why she loved her shithole of a flat so much.

content warning: smut under the cut (minors dni!), use of explicit language, pwp, mirror sex, mentions of exhibitionism/voyeurism (suggestions of the grid watching), size kink, praise kink, fingering, squirting, overstimulation, my man danny ric is filthy asf

note: i blacked out while writing this so whatever i wrote in here i’ve no control over. enjoy xx

something sinful (smut) masterlist

a - n masterlist

o - z masterlist

the ceiling mirrors were installed in her room out of pure joy. she enjoyed creative photography and had often taken photos of herself — the creativity coming straight from the mirrors as she had no one to have her photos taken of but herself. 

daniel ricciardo loved it. he loved her independence and cozy little flat — though he kept convincing her to move into a bigger place. she deserved so much more than this shitbox, but she insisted that she needed to earn more money before buying a better place. her independence was what drove him insane. 

all he wanted was to treat her like a queen— one that she deserved to see herself as. 

and that was how she ended up leaning against him, her legs spread wide open and her head leaning back against his chest. his tattooed arm kept her lightly strained while his hand held her chin up to face their reflections, gripping it gently whenever her eyes would shut close thanks to the pleasure brought by the fingers that slowly fucked her. 

she heaved a sigh, feeling too overstimulated from previous orgasms he’d given her who knows when. her body limped against him while her hand tried grabbing onto his, only for him to tut quietly and smack her cunt slightly. 

“don’t you fucking dare touch,” he warned her quietly. 

“‘s too much, danny,” she cried quietly, her eyes closing tightly as she squirmed. yet her walls clenched around his fingers when they slid back in. her moan protested against the words she just uttered. 

“but y’look so fuckin’ beautiful like this, doll,” he teased her, his mouth nibbling on her ear as he tapped her chin. watching her open her eyes, he then praised her, “see? a fuckin’ beaut is what you are. can’t believe i’m allowing you to live in a shithole like this.” 

“you deserve so much better than this, princess,” daniel continued to speak, grinning breathlessly when she squealed at the curling of his fingers. 

the sounds of squelching of her cunt filled the small space as she watched his fingers disappear inside her, partially watching in disbelief at how much he’s filling her. those were just his fingers. she couldn’t imagine how his cock looked when he’s fucking her with it. it was too big.

“‘s it because of these mirrors, doll?” he asked although she couldn’t answer anymore. her brain was turning hazy from the overstimulation, sending her to a certain state of pleasure as he continued to taunt her, “you like watching yourself touch this pretty cunt of yours, huh, baby? ‘s that why you wouldn’t move?” 

not receiving an answer from her, his dark eyes watched her reflection squirm away from his touch.

he continued to smile widely, his fingers now curling and hitting the spot as he increased his pace and began fucking her rigorously. “if you want to see yourself look all pretty getting fucked like this you could have just asked me, baby.” 

“you know that i can’t refuse my princess,” he hummed, vibrations on her back making her cry out and babble inaudibly. 

“danny, mmmm~ ‘s too much,” she didn’t even notice that tears were beginning to form, her sight turning blurry while she watched his fingers fill her hole like they were meant to be there. “too- too much, i- hah~ ngh~ fuck danny!” 

“yes, i know princess,” he cooed in her ear quietly, his gentle voice contrasting with the way he fucked her as he murmured, “you’ve more in you, baby, let it go. doin’ so good f’me. let go~” 

daniel’s eyes gleamed in excitement watching her cunt drench his fingers with pleasure. she soaked his fingers, and her sheets were covered with her pleasure as she came for the third time tonight— all from his fingers. 

her body that once convulsed reacted when his mouth slipped in his tongue inside hers, already too fucked out and sensitive as she moaned quietly. “so fuckin’ good f’me, princess.” 

she hadn’t expected him to continue on with the night as she let out a squeal, her legs being hoisted up by him as he leaned back and slid his cock inside her without a problem. 

“i- danny, want more-“ she babbled, her head tipping over to watch the ceiling mirrors as she witnessed her cunt sinking into his thick cock. she moaned at the sight, already clenching around him. she really loved the sight of him bulging in her stomach— that and the filthy words that slip out of his mouth as his hips moved up and down to fuck her.

“god! you’re so fuckin’ hot,” he growled from under her, meeting her eyes over the ceiling mirrors while he chased his climax and hers. “y’like watching huh?” 

“yes!” she cried out, his cock hitting the spot as she spoke. “love your cock, love you s’much!” 

“such a pretty girl,” daniel said, “i fuckin love watchin’ you writhing, baby— wish everyone in the fuckin’ grid can see you— d’ya know how much they wanna fuck you?” 

feeling her clench at the comment, danny chuckled and thrusted up at her, “oh- ya like that, hm? you wan’ them to see me fuck you?” 

she only uttered a moan, sinking down to meet his thrust halfway through. 

“you like that huh?” he taunted her, “maybe next time we should make them watch and have them realize that nobody can make you feel like this but me.” 

“they won’t be happy that it’s not them fuckin’ you, baby. i’m sure we can both agree that no one can fuck you like this but me— and i’ll make sure they know that.”

a queen was what she was. if daniel could only, he’d show everyone in the grid that she deserved to be treated like one— and he’d show them all how to treat her like one.

but for now, he needed to fuck her like a queen then install a ceiling mirror in his place in monaco if they both liked to watch him fuck her like this.

#formula one imagine #f1 imagine #formula one #formula one smut #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo smut #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo #rbr #f1 smut #formula one fanfiction #formula one x reader #danny ric x reader #daniel ricciardo au #daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo fanfic

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

What do you think about the "kill notice" about the new Catherine pic? I looked at the picture, there doesn't seem to be any distortion or manipulation. Some filters have been used but nothing is misaligned or photoshopped in or out. No dodgy shadows. Wtf is with the reporters agreeing with it?? Is this a shady attempt to force Catherine to be out in the public sooner than she would like to be? Apparently the controversy is about her left hand and somewhere along Charlotte's left sleeve. Part of me feels it's because reporters know she is now well and are angry she isn't back to work and giving them content. But, the picture agencies pulled the pic, so what's with that?? Such an unnecessary controversy.

I think it’s much ado about nothing. A lot of what people are point out as edited can be explained away, such as:

Kids are wiggly so of course they’d be blurry.

It’s a still from a video or a Live Photo.

Kate isn’t wearing her rings because maybe her fingers are still swollen from all the post-op meds and steroids, or maybe she just doesn’t want to wear them.

It's a program/app on William’s phone that stitches together the best parts in a sequence of photos to fix a squirming kid. (Like Google’s Best Take feature, in which case it’s AI, not photoshop.)

But wait, what about that pap pic last week of Kate with all weight in her face looking unrecognizable, and now in this photo she looks like herself? It’s about camera angles and body positions. There’s a pose - I call it the goose pose - where if you tilt your upper body forward just slightly and push your head/chin all the way forward, the extra weight in your midsection, neck, and face disappears from the camera if the photo is being taken from the front. (When you do this pose and the picture is taken from the side, you look like a goose.)

It’s great that the wires all have standards and that they take it seriously but the “kill” request illustrates a bigger problem: that in todays age of photo editing, filters, and AI, is any photo we see real and original? Once you permit minor edits like removing dust (which is an AP allowance), it opens the door for other edits and who’s the authority to say what’s right or wrong? So it’s a sticky line.

The reporters are writing about it because they have nothing else to write about. The media makes a ton of money off Kate and the children (more than they care to admit) so of course they’re going to pick up on this and write about it. They’re desperate for Kate content because she sells.

[[Interrupting now to say that I've just seen the update from KP of Kate (scroll to the end) acknowledging the edits and apologizing for any issues. It's bullshit she had to do this but I understand why she did it: she's proud of her photography, it's her own picture she edited and not one from anyone else, and it's overshadowing the Commonwealth Service coverage.]]

I mean, it's no coincidence that a prolific royal fashion blogger notorious for bashing Kate while simultaneously profiting from her appearances and photographs announced she's taking a break to Easter. Other royal events are still happening. Other royals are still working. Other royal families are still working. But that doesn't matter: she makes her money from Kate and when Kate doesn't work, she can't make money. So why bother keeping up the blog?

Anyway, believe what you want to believe about the photograph, but just be ready for all of this to backfire. And trust me, it will backfire.

If it's true that the Sussex Squad is behind this, well, Meghan may work hard but karma works harder. Harry and Meghan's own photoshopping and photo-editing may become equally under fire: Harry's Friar Tuck bald spot is world famous and everyone knows about it, no matter how much photoshop they do.

If it's true that the media and social media is making this a bigger issue than it actually is (which it sounds like, given Kate's newest message), then reap the consequences of your actions: fewer pictures from Kate and fewer pictures of the Wales family. The chances are extraordinarily high that they'll stop sharing pictures of their family now. It's already happened - back in ye olde days, it was custom for the royal family to have a photo call during a ski holiday so the press pack could get their pictures and leave them alone. William and Kate did this in 2016 on a skiing holiday, and boom - immediate criticism. Now no more vacation photos.

If it's true that the reporters picked up on this to force Kate to returning to work sooner than expected, well, I hope Kate retreats further into the cocoon of privacy and doesn't give you the satisfaction of new birthday pictures.

If it's true that this is a sign of how shambolic KP's communications office is, then hopefully the right people learn the right lessons and make more professional decisions. We know Kate will. She always learns from her missteps, even if it takes some time.

If it's true that the wires and the press associations need to revise their rules because everyone edits, I hope they do. Trust me, there are more worrying matters about photo editing and AI manipulation to write and "kill" than a touched-up family photo of the future king's family posted to social media. This is not the hill to stake your professional reputation on.

But I guarantee you that the same people who are making a fuss about these photo edits that EVERYONE does are the same people who are moaning about the dearth of content from the Waleses and they're the same people who scream and shout when the Waleses don't do what they want them to do.

But at the end of the day, it's a family photo taken by a proud husband and dad, who probably made stupid cheesy jokes to make his kids laugh like that, which his wife and their mother edited to make sure everyone looks their best. Everyone does this. It's fucking normal.

It's much ado about fucking nothing and I hope that everyone, most especially the reporters, who fed into the hysteria understand what they've done. They've just signed the execution notice for Waleses family photos.

Kate's apology:

#ask #brf #waleses #theories

[bunji-enthusiast]

Today was a good day — Yuuta Okkotsu

• Sypnosis || He can’t help but just recall all the things about you that made today a good one.

• warnings || sfw, first attempt at writing this boy, fluffy to the MAX.

• pairing || Yuuta/GN!Reader

• Note || I got inspired by Ice Cube’s song It was a Good Day, sue me.

He can’t help but just smile at the way you can talk, hold yourself accountable or simply just even do things for people. Even if it was something you didn’t realize you did. He notices all of it.

Your hair, even if you didn’t have any. He’d still see you line your body was the very things sculpted by the god of the sun. Made so perfectly he felt like he’d taint you with his touch.

Yuuta can’t help but crack up whenever you think, having a very cute and certain expression ingrained into his brain when he prefaces that very expression whether on missions or even on regular occasions.

Oh goodness, even your mannerisms are so adorable. He can’t get enough of you, even in ways he didn’t realize… you really do make his day a little better.

To be a little more truthful, Yuuta does feel somewhat embarrassed if he is unwillfully a little obvious about his tiny crush on you. Sometimes even Panda or Inumaki would point out the barely visible blush dusting the shell of his ears to the front of his cheeks.

In a way, Yuuta finds comfort in your presence. Sometimes going out of his way to help you with errands or even just to go shopping if that had been a thing of yours.

If you had a particular thing for taking pictures, even of yourself or scenery. He’d be happy to partake in your hobby! Yuuta thinks it’s pretty neat how photography can be a form of art, divulged with messages you can interpret yourself at first look.

Yuuta loves your hands, no matter the size. His own hands are unfortunately calloused to the touch, not as smooth as to the touch they had used to be. He doesn’t exactly know how to take care of his hands properly.

He loves your voice, the dulcet and varied tones it can carry depending on the time of the day. Yuuta can simply listen to your voice for hours on end if he had the chance to.

“You alright?” You spoke, waving your hand for a few moments to gain Yuuta’s attention once more if it was possible. “You kinda been staring off into the distance my dude.” You snorted with a smarmy grin.

Yuuta looked up and gained eye contact with you, blinking for a second to get the blurried traces of the sleep he had been ripped away from before. “Ah, sorry.. just thinking about something.” He smiled gently, rubbing the nape of his neck as he would. At times you have seen Yuuta be so particularly serious and poised in combat and even out of combat. This was a rare occurrence where he had been so shy, reminiscent of when he had first joined Jujustu High.

You nodded and crossed your legs, thinking of what else to say as you had forgotten what you had been talking about before when you had noticed Yuuta not paying attention. “Man, what was it I was talking about?” With a groan you facepalmed your head.

“I think you were talking about how you had liked those.. videos that had made you laugh so much.” Yuuta spoke, within a bit of a nod that had indicated he was trying to spark an idea as he wasn’t too sure of what it was himself. His own fault, he had thought.

“AH! That was it,” With a snap of your finger, your lips curled into an enlightened smile. “Thank you.” Yuuta had nodded, somewhat in a way to encourage you to keep going. Then you perked up again, and took out your phone teeming with a sort of laughter when you remembered what the video you were thinking of specifically was called.

“Aha.. all the keywords baby.” Yuuta raised a brow at this, waiting for your elaboration. “One sec, I almost have it. I swear.” He looked at you with a curious smile, his brows flattened and curved. His eyes just teeming with a type of joy that could never truly be explained, never described.

You then turned the screen of your phone to the raven-haired boy, the video now playing on screen. “Ple-pfft.” It was a clip from a stream displaying Fanum and his friends, trying to keep themselves from losing it which in turn had failed at the near end of the clip. The clip was ridiculously popular, in its own right of course.

Yuuta let out a chuckle, then erupted into laughter. Causing you to laugh as well, you simply couldn’t help it. Too good!

“Thank you, you find some pretty interesting stuff.” Yuuta said, still chuckling a little bit from the post-high euphoria. You nodded with your very iconic grin, being the proudest best friend that you were. Sometimes you just liked to be a little dramatic.

“What can I say?” You laid a hand on your chest, wiggling your finger slightly with your other hand as you displayed a dramatic scene, “I live to be the best.”

Yuuta let out another breathy laugh, leaning back on his rear slightly as he let out a hum.

Yeah, this was a damn good day.

#ミ★ ser’s thoughts #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk yuta #jjk yuuta #yuuta x reader #okkotsu yuuta #yuuta x you #yuuta x y/n #yuuta headcanons #yuuta fluff #yuuta okkotsu #yuuta okkostu x reader #okkostu yuuta x reader #yuuta drabble #jjk fans are going THROUGH IT

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Steve Harrington never thought he'd become passionate about photography, but here he was, crouching with a camera in the bushes, slowly waiting for the sun to set.

It was kind of funny - first he was a grade A douchebag in high school, then he got his girlfriend kind of rightfully stolen by Jonathan Byers, but instead of going deeper in to the asshole territory, he really tried to be better. One part of that was hanging out with Nancy and Jonathan sometimes, just drinking, joking and marvelling at how he got two good friends out of a shitty situation.

Jonathan asked him to snap a picture of him and Nancy to send to his mom when the four of them, his best friend Robin included, visited a local fair, and walked him through the very dumbed down basics - how to choose the angle, keep the picture sharp, composition, all of that.

And Steve fell in love.

He started observing Jonathan when he was working, snapping pictures for the local newspaper. And Jonathan was so patient with him, always commenting on what he was doing, even waiting for Steve to take notes.

On his next birthday, Robin, Nancy and Jonathan got him his first camera.

Finally free of his high school persona, Steve began feeling much more at ease just observing, not participating. Unlike Jonathan who found beauty in people and social interactions, Steve decided to focus on the nature.

Several years later, he was a wildlife photographer and he loved his job. He loved the challenge, the wait, the best shots and the worst ones too, with blurry curious animals nibbling on his hair or his shorts.

He was still trying to get out of his comfort zone, always challenging himself. And today, the subject of his shoot were bats, mysterious, misunderstood and absolutely cute.

Steve readied his camera at the flapping of wings. Slow. Patient. Don't rush it.

Two hours in, he was convinced that there was no more adorable thing in this world than a yawning bat. He was about to finish for the night and go home, take a hot shower, but one of the bats was making the cutest poses, almost...winking? Steve couldn't stop taking more and more shots.

He had no idea how it happened, but there was a quiet whoosh and where the bat was, suddenly a slim, pale man stood, with wild long hair and a seductive grin. Also, he was naked. Yep.

"No need to hide. If you wanted a picture, all you had to do was ask, pretty boy," the man said and approached Steve, flashing him a grin...a grin with very sharp, white canines.

Instead of something logical, like running away or fainting, Steve licked his lips and raised his camera. "Um. Consider this me asking?"

The man - Eddie, as he later introduced himself - stared at him blankly, then started laughing and Steve joined him, too loud in the quiet of the night.

In the morning, Steve found himself in a warm bed, with a memory card full of very marketable bat pictures and some private ones too, for his eyes only.

As Eddie nuzzled against his neck and the two tiny wounds there, Steve thought that yep, he definitely loved his job.

#steddie #steddie au #eddie munson #steve harrington #vampire eddie munson #stranger things au #stranger things drabble #steddie drabble #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #also in this AU Steve really was a bit of an asshole #and no unsolicited pictures of Nancy and Steve were taken in this modern au

[briwates]

Zero context WIP game ! Thank you @clawbehavior for the tag, excited to do this because I've got like 10 different wips and kept resisting the temptation to post snippets. These fics don't have definitive titles yet so the ones here are approximative descriptions

1. Ms Ji & the Kangs

“Yohan-ah, I love you, don’t cry” Isaac says, patting his baby brother’s stomach when he fusses. They’re both laying on Isaac’s bed after lunch, a bit drowsy in the early hours of the afternoon. Young-Ok watches the two as she folds laundry.

“Nanny, why does Yohan have no eyebrows ?” Isaac asks curiously.

She chuckles at the question, taking a tiny pair of socks out of the basket and folding them together. “Most babies are born without much hair, he’ll grow them later on.”

2. Conversations

Gaon swipes ‘accept call’ and props his phone against a utensil holder as Elijah’s lovely face comes into view. She has cut her hair into a bob, even bangs forming a curtain on her forehead.

“Gaon, it's an emergency ! You need to come to Geneva and do something !” Elijah’s voice immediately comes through the phone speaker, loud enough to be heard over the sound of meat sizzling on the stove. “Yohan is serious about growing that ugly mustache and the clinic receptionist keep trying to hit on him !”

3. Yohan through Isaac's photography

October 1991, Yohan showing me his teeth 

Gaon chuckles at the photo. It’s blurry like the objective had gone out of focus at the last minute. Yohan is giving the camera a smile and scrunching his nose, eyes closed under his fringe like he’s shielding them from the flash. Some milk teeth are missing from his gums, two permanent ones just peeking above the surface. He must have been no more than six or seven here.  

4. Gaon scrolls online forums

"Judge Oh, I have this file I wanted discuss with you"

Jinjoo comes up behind him to see just as he is about to unlock his computer. What greets Gaon after entering his password is the previous night's research topic brightly displayed on the screen. Shit. Carelessly, he had simply shut the laptop before going to bed, instead of closing the tabs and erasing his search history.

Panic and embarrassment seize Gaon on the spot. He's about two hundred-percent certain that Jinjoo got a glimpse of what was written on the screen. Omegaverse fanfiction of him and their boss. Gaon wants to explode.

"You have…a lot of open tabs, Judge Kim."

5. Another snippet from Conversations

“You have something under your eye”

“Hmm ?” Yohan hums, closing said eye when Gaon’s thumb gently swipes across his skin.

“Eyelash.” Gaon flicks it away “crap I should’ve told you to make a wish”

They’re laying on the couch in a tangle of limbs, Gaon on top of Yohan like a weighted blanket, chest to chest, book long abandoned on the coffee table. Kkomi is on the armrest behind Yohan’s head, sniffing at his hair. Gaon yawns into Yohan’s collar.

“We should go to bed.” Yohan says, voice hoarse.  

6. Sunah lives

It is routine until her ears catch familiar voices, ones she thought she would never hear again, along with the cries of a fussy child.

“Gaon-ah, give her to me”

Sunah turns around to see, to her surprise, peering over the café’s balcony, Kang Yohan, his niece, his former associate, passing over an agitated toddler.

“I told you we should have brought her stroller,” Kim Gaon’s reprimands are a refreshing thing to hear “She gets tired.”

“It would have been inconvenient though, with all the stairs and narrow streets.” Kang Elijah chimes in. She is on crutches now, standing just a few centimeters shy of her uncle’s height.

“That’s fine” Kang Yohan hauls up the little girl against his chest so that her head rests on his shoulder, pats her back. “Appa will be the stroller today."

Tagging @thedeviljudges if you feel like doing it !

#the devil judge #xyz #tdj fic #they all need some work but im progressing through them...slowly

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Eleven (Part 2)

The thunderstorm is in full power outside by the time the party reaches its crescendo. Rain beats violently against the windows, and lightning forks across the sky. The sounds of Creedence Clearwater and The Zombies drown out the thunder, but still, I could swear that I can feel it vibrate through my bones. I’ve never been so close to a storm in my life, and as I gaze out of the window, blurry with rain to the flashes in the sky, I have a wild desire to be alone with it. I take a cursory glance around and hope nobody is watching me as I dash up the metal staircase to the next floor.

The lights are off on the upper floor, and as I wander into a room off the hallway, which happens to be a bathroom, I find myself pausing at the window to stare out at the sky. It is magnificent. It’s terrifying. I want to run from it as much as I want to stand beneath it and let the rain soak my clothes to my skin. I climb into the bath just so that I can sit on the rim and watch the sky, and lose all sense of how long I sit for. Long enough to hear the muffled chorus of “Zum Geburtstag Viel Glueck” through the floor. Long enough for the edge of the tub to dig uncomfortably into my legs. Long enough to get the urge to look for this fabled painting studio. I leave the bathroom and make my way back down the hallway, peering into darkened rooms as I pass them, feeling as though I’m doing something against the law. 

I crack open the door to Leon’s photography studio after trying several others, and walk inside. I glance around at the equipment, all of the cameras and their lenses. Tripods, different kinds of lighting, the large, white backdrop that’s hung against one wall. What a luxury it must be to have a space like this in your home. I hardly dare to touch any of it, only gently brushing my index finger over the cool metal of one lens, when a deep voice almost makes me rattle out of my skin. 

“I’d a feeling I’d find you snooping around somewhere.” Jude stands in the doorway, and my heart kicks into high gear. “Fuck sake.” I wheeze. “You snuck up on me.”

“Sorry.” He says, and steps inside to wander slowly around and look at all of the same things I was looking at. 

I brush invisible lint off my clothes, just to have something to do with my hands, and look him over briefly. “It’s very weird to see you in a suit like that.” I remark. “All cleaned up with your hair combed back.”

“Freaky, is it?”

“A bit.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, you look very nice. At least one of us has managed to.”

“I look absolutely mad, it’s alright to say it.”

“She did look a bit mad though, didn’t she? I think you pulled it off fairly well.” He approaches the shelf of cameras and pulls one off, and I say with alarm, “You shouldn’t touch the cameras.” 

“It’s fine.” He grins. “It’s my camera.”

“How’s it yours?”

“I come here to photograph my work. Leon has the best setup. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“Really?”

“Yes! I swear.” He laughs. “I feel like you don’t believe me.”

“Well, I do.” I say hesitantly. I nod towards the Canon in his hands. “Are you going to take a photograph of me or something?”

“Would you like me to?”

“If you’d like to.”

“Okay, I’d like to.” With his free hand he hauls a wooden bench into the centre of the backdrop and motions for me to sit on it. Then he fiddles with a few of the studio lights to make sure he’s got it set up the way he likes it. 

“What should I do?” I ask him. 

“You can just relax.” He suggests. “Maybe rest your foot against the bar of the stool, yep, like that, and your hands in your lap. Okay, yeah, just look at me.”

“I’m looking at you.”

“I know, good job.” He snaps a series of photographs while I sit there, stiff as a board. I don’t really know how to relax in front of a camera, I never have. “Maybe a smile?” He proposes. 

“Like this?” I tug the corners of my mouth upwards, and feel twice as awkward in doing so. He nods. “Kind of. You don’t need to grimace like that.” 

“I’m not grimacing. This is my smile.”

“That’s not your smile, darling. You don’t smile like that.”

A giggle escapes my lips. “What did you just call me?”

He blinks. “I don’t know. What did I say?”

“Darling. As in, lil darlin’” I laugh again, mostly at my abysmal attempt at an American accent, and he rolls his eyes. “That’s not my accent.”

“It is! Ye Haw.”

“Get a grip.” He snickers from behind the lens. “I could easily do a horrible impression of you and see how you feel about it.”

“Do it then.”

His eyebrow quirks up and so does the corner of his mouth. “Jude!” He cries in an accent-perfect midlands soprano. “Did you eat all of the crisps? You’re so greedy. And get your horrible foot away from my back, you’re actually the most annoying person I’ve ever met.”

My mouth drops open and I insist that it sounds nothing like me, even though it absolutely does. 

“Yeah right.” He says. 

“You’ve been practising that in the mirror or something, you creep. You’re obsessed with me.”

“You’re obsessed with me.” He mimics and I almost take off my chunky sandal to toss it at him, but I’m startled by a sudden clap of lighting that slashes across the sky right outside the window, so close that it hits a rod on the building across the street. I snap to look. “Oh my God, wow!”

“Yeah, holy shit, wow.” He says, “I got a photo of that.”

“Of the lightning?”

“No of you looking at it.” He lifts the camera to look at the last batch. “I think these are good.”

“Are they?”

“Yeah, look.” He comes over to show me a series of photos from that quick moment, a flash of white over my face as my mouth falls open in a gasp, eyes wide with wonder. I look stunned, and thrilled, and kind of pretty. Then he scrolls back and shows me more of myself, of me smiling and laughing and pulling faces at him, and they must be the most relaxed photographs of myself that I’ve ever seen.

“Oh.” I whisper. “I like those a lot.I wish I looked like that all of the time.”

“Yeah, I like them too.” He says, “And actually, you do. That’s just how you look to me.” and in that small moment his gaze feels weighted, so much so that goosebumps erupt on my arms as though there’s an electrical current moving beneath my skin. I feel him watching my face, but meeting his eyes feels risky, it’s always felt a bit risky, because I want him so badly that sometimes it makes it hard to breathe. I fear that too much time spent looking at him might drive me to start doing the sorts of things I know I will spend time regretting.

I slide off the seat and wander out of the room. 

“Where are you going?” He wants to know. 

“To find the art studio.” I reply. 

“It’s the next room.” He follows close behind me, and it’s impossible not to feel his presence, even when I can’t see him in the dark hallway. He opens the studio door and I slip in under his arm. 

I don’t bother flipping the switch, because the light from outside is enough to allow a blue glow through the huge windows and over the floor. It’s so quiet that I can hear my heart in my neck and my ears. I walk over to the window and stare out over the place where his easel is facing, and through the wet and smears of the glass it’s difficult to see much but blurry lights, but still, I can make out the outline of a row of beautiful old buildings below. A cluster of trees, a castle, which I picture in the heat of summer sunshine, and a lump rises in my throat, because I want a place like more than almost anything. All my fantasies of my life and how it might turn out have included a studio just like this. With these canvases, these easels, these organised racks of paints, and brushes, halfway finished work, destined to be completed another day. I look at it all and I think I might start crying, because it feels like I’ve stepped into a fantasy that will never, never ever turn into reality. 

“What are you thinking about?” Jude says softly after several moments, and his footsteps tread lightly behind me. I don’t look around at him. My voice is thick. “About how much I like this studio.”

“It’s pretty spectacular. And the view.”

“Yes, the view is nice. Although, I’m sure it’s nicer when it isn’t raining so much.”

“I like it like this too.” He comes to a stop next to me, and I feel him there, almost touching me, but not. I pat the corner of my eye with the pad of my finger and continue to look out at the sky. “I think that you could have something like this someday.” He says to me, “I think that if you want something really badly you can find a way to have it.”

“You think so?”

“I do.”

“Hm.” 

He waits for me to look at him, and I am afraid to. “Evie,” He says, voice soft. 

“Yeah?”

“Can you-” 

I look. “What?”

He doesn’t tell me what. He leans into me and brushes his nose gently against mine before kissing me. Once, so lightly, as if testing that I want it. Twice. He draws back and our gazes mesh, and the third time he angles his head and takes my lower lip between his, and my body goes weak. I forgot what it was like to kiss him, in all of his wildness, abandon, and overconfidence, how the stroke of his lips over mine makes me lose all sense of myself and forget who I am. 

I wind my fingers into his hair and pull him closer to me, and he holds my head in his hands, and he is perfect and I am lucky, so lucky to be here with him now as the thunder rumbles and the rain pelts against the windows, and his body is warm and his mouth is hot and it feels somehow more dangerous to be in here with him than it would to stand in the path of lightning. 

He deepens the kiss, just as I clutch onto him tighter, and the feeling inside me turns desperate. I deserve this, I’ve loved him forever, and I can have this selfish moment if I want it. Maybe I don’t have to tell anyone about it, maybe we’re the only ones that need to know. I let him touch my body and make promises with his mouth and his hands that he can give me all of the things that I want the most, the things I’m too afraid to admit to wanting, the things I shouldn’t. I let myself feel the terror of him taking those things away from me as easily as he can give them to me, and I chase those feelings away with my lips and my tongue as I press into him and tug his lip between my teeth. 

He breaks away for a moment while his eyes travel over my face as if looking for a sign that he should stop but I’m not ready for him to. I’ve been waiting years for this, so when he draws my waiting mouth to his again I arch my body into him and encourage him with eager little sounds that seem to knock the air out of him. His hands are trembling yet insistent as they come to seize my hips tightly and pull me against his, hard, so that I can feel him wanting me, but then suddenly, as though I’ve remembered who I am again, my hands grab his wrists in a steel, reflexive grip, and I take a step away from him. He seems confused, and takes an instinctive step towards me as I move away, unable to compute that I have stopped kissing him. I place my hand on his chest to block him. 

“We can’t.” 

He looks hurt. “Why?”

I stare at him incredulously. “Because of Astrid, obviously.”

His eyes skate across my face, confusion turning to panic as he swallows convulsively. “But I’ve broken up with her now.” He says. “Didn’t you know that?”

“No, I didn’t know that. When?”

“After Christmas.”

My brain feels like it’s functioning at a fraction of its capacity. “So, like, six weeks ago.”

“Yes!”

“After you bled all over my house.”

“It’s the first thing I did when I got back, I thought-”

“And you didn’t think to mention it at any point?” I turn away from him and catch sight of myself in the black window, and I look wild, hair out of place, lipstick completely gone and a bright blush across my cheeks. How long were we kissing?

Jude’s reflection stares at mine. “We’ve been out of touch.” He says. “We could never find a moment to call one another, Evie, I wanted to tell you, but there just wasn’t the right time, you were always in a rush, or I was too busy, and then, I dunno, I suppose after a while I started assuming that you’d heard it through the grapevine.”

“The grapevine.” I repeat, glaring at him. “What’s the grapevine? Shane Healy’s mouth? What on earth would he tell me that for? He doesn’t even tell me how his mother is.”

He spears a hand into his hair. “I’m sorry, I should have tried harder to tell you about it, but I didn’t want to scare you off, or make you think that it was your fault or something. Maybe I was in my head too much, but sending a random text to you on a Tuesday being like ‘So I broke up with Astrid’ seemed a bit too purposeful, a bit like I expected something from you. I don’t know.”

Ripples of fear and longing travel over my skin. “Well, did you break up with her because of me?”

His expression is tortured. “We were doing badly for a long time. We broke up over a year ago, firstly, because I was being a shit, and I couldn’t give her what she needed, and then after a few months we got back together, but it was always rocky from there, it never felt right, we always fought, in the end it just felt inevitable, and, well…” He trails off. 

“And?” I prompt. 

“And I… yeah, I had feelings for someone else.”

“For me.” The words don’t come out, exactly. I end up just mouthing them. 

“Come on, Evie, I’ve always liked you. You know that. I always wondered about you when we were apart, I always thought about what would’ve happened if I’d never left. When I saw you again and I still felt all those things, well, honestly it felt a bit insane to be with someone else. Even last year, when we weren’t talking, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. All the time, like, there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about you. Every time I saw someone who reminded me of you, or something that I knew that you’d laugh at, I knew that the things I felt about Astrid weren’t the same, it wasn’t right, nor was it fair, so I ended things.”

“But then you got back together?” I glare at him. 

“Yeah, I had a bad year, stuff happened with Jen, I felt isolated, I felt like shit, and then I met Astrid again at a party and…” He shrugs. “She was familiar, and I still had feelings for her so it just felt like a normal thing to do. Our breakup seemed kind of stupid for a while. Honestly, I was wondering what had gotten into me when I did it, and then I saw you again, and…” he trails off. “Well, I thought that you felt the same way as I do.”

I take a deep breath, palms tingling. “This is a lot to take on.” I say. 

“I know.”

“I can’t help but think about how I’m just another one of your single friends, and now that you’re lonely-”

“It’s not like that at all.”

“But this is just what you do, you kiss your friends just because you can.” I don’t know why I’m saying these things, because every word appears to have the same effect on him as if I were slapping him in the face, but I can’t stop them from pouring out. Perhaps I just want him to disprove them or to validate me, or convince him that only foolish men like girls like me. He’s too clever for this. 

“That was when I was a teenager. I’m an adult man now and this isn’t just an experiment. I’m in love with you” He says. “and like, for some reason you think that nobody in their right mind could ever love you, but I do. I really do. I can’t ever get you out of my head, I just think about how much I want you every time I look at you, and how scared I am of what I feel about you, but I love you. Not in a friend way. In an ‘I want you to be my girlfriend’ kind of way, and I can’t imagine wanting that with another person, with, like, anybody but you, and it’s not because I’m single and I’m lonely or that you’re in some way convenient to me, I loved you when I had Astrid and when you had Dean, but the time was never right, and now I think that it could be, so why not just… see?”

He stands there, completely vulnerable, and waits for me to say something to him, but I can’t. My mind is swirling with ancient insecurities, ones buried deep in my psyche, the ones that I never let out of me because they batter my self-confidence, smash it to pieces and remind me that I’m not enough for him, even if he foolishly believes that I am. I will disappoint him. What happens if I tell him that I feel the same? Where do we go from there? How do I be his girlfriend, how do I do the things he wants me to do? What? Hold his hand in public and have all of his friends think about how he left a six foot tall goddess for someone like me, have them say amongst themselves that he really downgraded and wonder what it is that’s so special about Evie Kilbride when he could have anybody. They’ll all learn, as he will eventually, that I have nothing to offer but failed promises and unfulfilled expectations, and joke later about that big mistake he made once while he holds another beauty queen in his arms. I think of that summer day in Kelly’s mobile home, and how she stared at me with amused contempt, as though the idea of him ever wanting me was hilarious because I’ll never be able to impress him, or give him the things he wants and expects from a girl. I won’t know how to be. I will ruin this like I’ve ruined everything else, and I will be the biggest mistake he’s ever made. 

“My God, Evie, please say something.” He says desperately. 

“Did you tell Astrid that you broke up with her because of me?”

He stares at me like I’m crazed. “What?”

“Does she know about how you feel?”

“I don’t know, maybe.” He drags a trembling hand through his hair and it all tumbles forward, free of the hold of the styling gel. “I’m not sure why that’s important to you at this moment.”

“She doesn’t seem to like me.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky girl part 3 #this is the one #the most dramatic chapter #i love this moment so much

[msanonymous]

I only bake when I'm happy, a little terrified at the idea of messing things up if I did it, otherwise. Maybe this explains why I haven't touched my baking appliances in months. But I had a happy dream a few days ago, in which me and mother were baking together, just like old times, and when I woke up I felt like I was 5 again, and my kitchen looked the same as it did 12 years ago.

There's this beautiful teal dress hanging in my almirah that I've saved for some special occasions. But now that I think about it, there are no occasions that are special enough to make me happy, they just cause anxiety.

I haven't gone on walks in weeks, because the sky is always gray these days and the sun has not shone in weeks, and I'm afraid that the not-so pleasant weather wouldn't help the weather in my heart, the way streets in the spring used to.

I want to learn photography some day, properly. So that whenever the next time I see someone I love happy, or anyone per se, I could capture them in photographs, perfectly. I wish I could carry my camera all around the world and just click the shutter button at the perfect time. I wish the next time I see my friends laughing, my parents talking happily in the lawn while having tea, reunion hugs of strangers at the airports, someone feeding a stray cat with the biggest and genuine smile on their face, an old couple in the park talking slowly about their past which was filled with happy moments, I could freeze all those moments in photographes just so I could revisit those memories, when I'm wide awake at 3am, with my numb heart.

I wish I could have those happy, lively photographes of those lovely humans to stare at, instead of my plain white ceiling. And those nights I'd tell myself “It doesn't matter if happiness is not with me, it's fine as long as it's with people I love, it's fine by me, as long as I know it exists in some corners of this Earth. Maybe I just need to visit those corners some day and until then I'll survive by seeing those people living. Happily.”

But the clock on my desk is ticking, fast. And I don't know how much more time I have here. And I don't want that dream to come true. In which I was about to take my last breath, and I saw happiness standing in the doorway with her tear streaked face, and I asked her “Why didn't you ever come to me?” and she replied with her soft and tortured voice, “Why didn't you ever look for me?”

So maybe I should just say “Screw it.” and buy a camera anyway, who cares if those photos aren't professional enough? Who cares if they're all blurry because of my shaky hands? They'll still be filled with happiness, which would be enough to make my heart happy. Maybe I should wear that dress tomorrow, and my other favourite dress the day after tomorrow. So what if my house hasn't hosted a visitor in weeks, I should be ready, like in my favourite character's words “Dress as if you're gonna meet the love of your life today.” From tomorrow I'll dress as if I'm gonna meet happiness. I'll go on walks even if the sky is gray, maybe I'll see a tiny plant who's surviving the storms, blooming despite the rains. Sometimes a single flower is enough, right? More than enough I think. Maybe I should pluck up the courage to ask my mother to join me. The next time I bake, maybe I'll feel happy, the same way I did when I was 5. Maybe I have to stop waiting for happiness to come to me, I should go search for it instead. Maybe it'll eventually come to me, when I'll try doing those things.

And maybe on my last day here, I'll see her in my doorway, smiling, unlike that dream, and she'll bid me goodbye with tears of happiness, and everything will be good about that goodbye.

#dear diary dump

[yoriyaland]

The Red Means I Love You | Chapter 2

She treats him differently, she doesn't make fun of him or call him names. She was nice, she was pretty, she wasn't very smart but that's okay, he'll help her study. She was becoming someone who he couldn't let go of, he refused to let her go. She was his source of light... she was his everything and he'll protect her forever.

🎤 PAIRING: yandere!ni-ki x Kurasawa Rin (fiction character)

🎤 GENRE: yandere au

🎤 WARNING: mention of cigarette - bullying (violence)

🎤 AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is another short chapter, it's a bit boring but I promise it gets better. I'm not kidding, I have some great ideas but those ones are in later on in the story so please be patient with me.

🎤 CHAPTERS: Prologue, 1

______________________________________________________________

"Well, well, well, are you two lovebirds on a date?" came a sneering voice from behind them. Rin couldn't help but roll her eyes as she recognised the familiar figure approaching. She turned away, exasperated, while Ni-ki, standing beside her, locked eyes with the boy he had encountered earlier that day.

"Go find something better to do, Kokoro. We don't need your company," Rin retorted, folding her arms across her chest in defiance.

Kokoro smirked, unfazed by Rin's dismissive attitude. "Relax, I was just passing by. But you really should learn to show some respect to your seniors. It's basic manners," he chided, a smug grin playing on his lips. Rin fought the urge to wipe it off with a well-placed retort.

"Apologies, senpai," Rin replied, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "I'm truly sorry if I hurt your delicate feelings. Now, could you do us the favour of leaving? Thanks ever so much."

Kokora's grin faltered slightly at Rin's biting words. "Fine, fine, since you asked so nicely," he muttered, before sauntering off, leaving Rin and Ni-ki to resume their lesson in peace. 

“Don't mind him, he's a bit weird," Rin remarked, earning a chuckle from Ni-ki.

"I could tell," he replied with a grin, and the two delved back into their lesson. Ni-ki began by explaining the fundamental skills of photography.

"First, you need a good grasp of exposure. The three elements that control how light enters the camera—aperture, shutter speed, and ISO—affect the brightness and clarity of your photos," Ni-ki explained, diving deeper into the intricacies of composition and other technical aspects. Rin found herself mesmerized by Ni-ki's passion, though she struggled to comprehend the jargon he was spouting. She couldn't tear her gaze away from him, even if it meant missing out on some of the finer details.

"Would you like to give it a try?" Ni-ki offered, handing Rin the camera. "Um, sure," she replied tentatively, accepting the camera despite her lack of expertise.

For the next ten minutes, Rin fumbled with the camera, snapping random pictures without much direction. Ni-ki winced inwardly at the sight of the blurry, poorly composed photos, but he held onto hope for improvement. As their lesson progressed, Ni-ki found himself pondering the dynamic between Rin and the boy named Kokoro. He was curious, but he hesitated to pry into their personal affairs.

"I think I did a pretty good job, don't you think?" Rin asked confidently, displaying her photos to Ni-ki.

"Well, some of them are a bit blurry, but you gave it your best shot," Ni-ki murmured under his breath, relieved when Rin didn't catch his critique.

"What?" Rin questioned.

"I mean, they're pretty good, but there's always room for improvement. Maybe next lesson, it’ll be better." Ni-ki replied casually, earning a smirk from Rin.

"Next lesson? Just admit you enjoy my company," Rin teased, playfully nudging him.

"W-what? N-no, I mean—" Ni-ki stuttered, flustered by Rin's remark.

"Whatever, I'm heading home now. Care to walk me home like a gentleman?" Rin interjected before Ni-ki could respond, sauntering off with a playful smile.

Ni-ki watched her go, captivated by the picturesque scene unfolding before him. He couldn't resist snapping another photo of Rin, thankfully she didn’t catch him this time. He’ll definitely add this to the ‘Kurasawa’ collection. 

“Thanks for walking me home," Rin said with a warm smile.

"I didn’t have much of a choice," Ni-ki replied quietly, his own smile mirroring hers.

"Sorry, what?" Rin asked, but Ni-ki just waved her off and headed on his way. She chuckled to herself, watching him go.

Back at home, Rin's mother called out from the kitchen, "Rin, can you help your sister with her shower?" Rin answered with a quick "Sure," and climbed the stairs to Ren's room. She found her sister gazing out at the balcony, lost in thought.

"Ren, time for your shower," Rin said, giving a light tap on the doorframe to catch Ren's attention.

Three years ago, Ren had been in a car accident during a school trip, suffering spinal cord damage that left her unable to walk. The doctors had recommended consistent physiotherapy, but as time went on, her condition deteriorated, and the family stopped the treatments. It was up to them now to care for her.

"Okay," Ren replied softly, turning her wheelchair toward Rin, who took hold of the handles and guided her to the bathroom.

"I have a story to tell you," Rin said with enthusiasm as she squeezed shampoo into her hand and began to lather Ren's hair.

"Oh? What's the story?" Ren asked, her curiosity piqued.

"I met this new kid at school. He's into photography, and he's really good at it. He's agreed to give me some tips, so I was thinking you'd make a perfect model for me to practice on. What do you think?"

Ren grinned and played with the bubbles forming in the bathtub. "That sounds like fun," she said, her eyes lighting up at the idea. Rin couldn't help but smile back. It wasn't always easy, but moments like these, with her sister's laughter and lightness, made it all worthwhile.

______________________________________________________________

Rin was finishing her morning routine, slinging her bag over her shoulder while helping her younger sister gather her things.

"I’m heading out now!" she called, her voice echoing through the hallway.

"Have a good day!" her mother replied from the kitchen.

As Rin opened the front door, she nearly collided with Ni-ki, who stood waiting outside. She jumped back in surprise.

"Whoa, you scared me! What are you doing here?" Rin asked, clutching her chest to calm her racing heart.

"I'm here to walk you to school," Ni-ki replied with a smirk, adding with a hint of sarcasm, "Like a true gentleman." Rin rolled her eyes and playfully pushed him aside. "Yeah, yeah. Let's see if you can keep up!" Without warning, she darted down the sidewalk, calling over her shoulder, "First one to school wins!"

"What-- not fair! You had a head start!" Ni-ki shouted, rushing after her, a grin spreading across his face as he chased her down the street.

As Rin and Ni-ki arrived at school, they split off in different directions. Rin went ahead to meet up with her friends, while Ni-ki set off in search of a quiet spot to take some photos. He found a secluded place behind one of the older classrooms, where a small wooden gym sat neglected and falling apart. The area was desolate, no one came here anymore. From his vantage point, he could see a distant village that seemed almost abandoned, with no signs of life.

 Ni-ki settled on the ground, the view below offering a brief respite from the noise and chaos of high school. He thought about leaving it all behind, finding a place in the mountains where he could escape the turmoil. It was a fleeting moment of calm, but it didn't last long. Footsteps approached from behind, growing louder and multiplying. Ni-ki felt a familiar sense of dread, trouble seemed to follow him everywhere.

As he was about to stand up and leave, a rough hand grabbed his shirt, forcing him back down. The smell of cigarettes filled the air, and a figure sat down beside him.

"Why were you walking to school with Rin?" The voice was unmistakable. It was Kokoro. Ni-ki stared straight ahead, refusing to engage.

Kokoro chuckled, patting Ni-ki on the shoulder before getting up to stand in front of him. He bent down to meet Ni-ki's eyes, his expression darkening with each passing second. "Are you deaf?" he asked, but Ni-ki remained silent. Kokoro's grin faded as he spat in Ni-ki's face. Ni-ki closed his eyes, feeling the bile rise in his throat.

A rough hand yanked Ni-ki's hair, forcing his head back and his eyes open. 

“Not so tough, anymore are you?” Then came the blow to his stomach. 

"Argh!" he groaned, collapsing onto the ground. The group of boys descended upon him, their kicks landing with brutal force. They didn't stop for over five minutes, each strike sapping Ni-ki's strength, leaving him battered and broken.

“Let me give you some advice Riki, stay away from Rin,” Kokoro said before walking away with his group. 

Ni-ki felt his eyes couldn’t kept open anymore, he was slowly losing his light. Blood trickled from his nose and mouth, and he could no longer breathe normally. He then let his eyes close and fell into a deep sleep. 

______________________________________________________________

“Ni-ki?" A small voice reached him from the side. Ni-ki’s eyes slowly opened, and his vision blurred, but he recognized the voice—it was Rin, no doubt about it. No one else would be this concerned. He blinked, trying to focus, and as his surroundings became clearer, he noticed the sterile white walls and the faint smell of antiseptic. He was in the school's sick bay, lying on a cot with a thin blanket draped over him.

"Hey, easy now," Rin said as Ni-ki attempted to sit up, his muscles stiff and his head spinning. She gently pressed her hand on his shoulder to steady him.

"Where am I?" he asked, his voice low and raspy, avoiding eye contact with Rin.

"One of the custodians found you on the ground, unconscious, with blood all over the place," Rin explained, her voice laced with concern. "What happened? Are you okay?" Ni-ki remained silent, his gaze falling on the broken pieces of his camera lying on the bedside table. Rin followed his eyes and sighed.

"The custodian found it near you... I'm sorry. Maybe we can try to fix it?" she offered, though her tone revealed she knew it was unlikely.

Ni-ki shook his head slowly, picking up the remains of the camera, a precious gift from his father before he passed away. The damage was beyond repair. He remembered the earlier confrontation with Kokora, the jeering words, and the harsh push that sent him crashing to the ground. The memory made his stomach turn.

Rin watched Ni-ki with deep concern. She knew how much that camera meant to him. The room was quiet except for the distant murmur of students passing in the hallway outside. Ni-ki checked the clock on the wall—it was nearly time to leave for the day.

"Let's walk home together," he suggested, surprising even himself with the invitation. Despite everything, he didn't want to push Rin away. She was his only friend here, the only one who cared about what happened to him. He couldn't let some bully ruin that. The risk was worth it, even if it meant facing Kokora's wrath again.

Rin's face lit up with relief and a hint of a smile. "I'd like that," she said softly. 

As Ni-ki and Rin walked side by side along the road, Rin holding onto her bike, a question began to form in his mind. If he was going to risk being seen with Rin, he needed to understand why Kokoro seemed to have a problem with their friendship.

"Can I ask you something?" Ni-ki's voice was low, almost hesitant.

"Sure, what's on your mind?" Rin replied, glancing at him.

"What's the deal between you and Kokoro?" The question caught Rin off guard. She knew it would come up eventually, but she didn't expect it so soon.

"Um, well... he’s... he's my ex-boyfriend," she admitted, a hint of reluctance in her voice. Ni-ki stopped in his tracks, causing Rin to pause and turn toward him.

"Wait, you dated him? Seriously?" His voice held a note of disbelief. He didn’t mean to sound harsh, but he couldn’t help it—of all people, why Kokoro?

"It was just for a month," Rin explained, resuming their walk. "He seemed nice at first, but things changed quickly. It wasn't a big deal." She tried to downplay it, but Ni-ki wasn’t so sure. It was starting to make sense why people had given him strange looks when he walked to school with Rin.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ni-ki asked, sounding a bit frustrated. Rin stopped and turned back to him, her tone growing defensive.

"I didn’t think it would matter." she shot back.

"It matters because now he's messing with me," Ni-ki replied, a hint of anger creeping into his voice.

"Did Kokoro do this to you?" Rin's question hung in the air as Ni-ki remained silent. She knew only Kokoro's group were capable of doing such a thing, and she was irritated by the whole situation.

Ni-ki was feeling worn out. The confrontation earlier in the day had taken a lot out of him, and he didn't have the energy to argue further. He quietly started walking. When they arrived, they stood silently by the front door. Rin noticed the broken camera in Ni-ki's hand and felt a pang of guilt.

"Let's go to the shop and get it fixed later," she offered, but Ni-ki shook his head. He took a step back, avoiding eye contact, and without saying goodbye, he turned to leave. Rin felt a surge of guilt, she knew Kokoro must have said something to Ni-ki, and she wasn't about to let him get away with it.

______________________________________________________________

It was Saturday, and Rin had planned to meet Ni-ki for a photography lesson. But those plans had to be cancelled. Ni-ki had often mentioned how much his camera meant to him, and since it was broken, Rin could sense the disappointment he felt. She texted him multiple times about fixing it, but his response was always the same, "No."

Rin decided that she wasn’t just going to sit back and do nothing. She was determined to make the day better for Ni-ki. She texted him, asking if they could hang out at his house. It felt a bit awkward, to ask to visit a new friend’s house, but surprisingly, Ni-ki agreed.

Just an hour later, Ni-ki arrived at Rin’s house, and she immediately noticed he wasn't carrying his camera, which only added to her guilt. They walked to his house, neither saying much along the way. The silence was almost oppressive, but they shared brief smiles as they passed a playground where kids were playing. It was a small town, and everyone seemed to know each other.

Before long, they reached Ni-ki's house. It was a traditional Japanese home with a steeply sloped roof, weathered wooden walls, and a neatly kept garden. Stepping inside, Rin removed her shoes and immediately noticed a wall filled with photographs. The wall was like a timeline, showing images of Ni-ki as a child, along with photos of random objects and places. It was an eclectic collection, capturing the history and essence of Ni-ki's life.

As Rin wandered deeper into the house, she found a framed family photo on a small table. In it were Ni-ki, his mother, and his father. The photo seemed slightly worn, and she wondered where Ni-ki's mother was. Rin had a soft spot for Ni-ki, she knew the challenges of growing up without a father, as hers had left when she was young, leaving her and her mother to fend for themselves.

Another question crept into Rin's mind: where was Ni-ki’s mother now? The house was eerily quiet, with no sounds of anyone else around. It was a traditional wooden house, and any movement should have been audible, but there was nothing—just silence

"Want something to eat?" Ni-ki asked as he watched Rin wandering around his living room. Rin turned to him with a smile, her mind brewing with a plan. It was a bold move, but she was determined to surprise him by fixing his broken camera.

"Yeah, actually, I'm starving. Got any food?" Rin replied, clutching her stomach for dramatic effect.

"Not really, but I can run to the 7/11 and grab something. Sound good?" Ni-ki suggested. Rin nodded enthusiastically, it was the perfect opportunity to execute her plan.

As Ni-ki grabbed his keys and headed out the door, he instructed Rin to make herself at home in the living room. But the moment the door closed behind him, Rin quickly and quietly made her way to his bedroom. She knew it wasn't polite, but she was on a mission to get his camera fixed as a surprise.

Inside Ni-ki's room, the first thing she noticed was the wall adorned with photos of various flowers. There were also several boxes filled with his collections. It didn't take long to locate the broken camera—it was right on his nightstand. She carefully placed it in her bag and replaced it with another broken camera she'd brought along to avoid suspicion.

Feeling proud of her sneaky success, Rin was about to leave when a box on the floor caught her attention. It was slightly hidden, probably meant to be tucked under the bed. Curiosity got the best of her; despite knowing Ni-ki might get upset, she couldn't resist taking a peek.

The label on the box read "Kurasawa." 

Now nothing was gonna stop her curiosity, she bent down and the box. She was stunned to see the photos, her eyes widened and she couldn’t help but jump a little. She quickly closed the box and backed away from it, she couldn’t believe her eyes, she didn’t know what to say. Was Ni-ki like this all along? She wasn’t gonna wait around and find it out, she knew she had to do something about this before it was too late.

To Be Continue

#enhypen yandere #enhypen x reader #yandere ni ki #ni ki imagines #ni ki x reader #nishimura riki x reader

[bloggingbrin]

DigiThoughts: Mju Mini/Stylus Verve

I've been shooting with a cam that sort of has some cult status in digicam community for a bit, here are my thoughts.

0. The camera

This camera is the digital cousin of Olympus Mju point and shoot analogue cameras the prices of which exploded after analogue photography youtube evangelized it. This one is in a very Y2K friendly alien shape and is ripe with potential to make tiktok go crazy at some point due to its physical, and not just photographic, aesthetics factor. In the digicam discord I was told that this is a camera that people love due to its form factor (cult status, barring its own emoji in the server) but also the pictures it can produce. I got it as a, stylish, replacement for a Canon Ixus 40 I was taking photos with before with the hope that it can be a replacement capable of good all around photos.

It took me a bit to adapt to the camera, but I think im in a stage where I feel comfortable with it now!

1. Shaky

My first impressions were that every picture I take is quite... blurry.

Shooting mostly in the evenings and just starting with using AUTO everything the camera tried to compensate for the lack of light with long exposure times. The previous Ixus I had handled automatic shooting quite well but decided to dig a bit into the shooting settings.

2. ISO + Ev to rescue

ISO 400

EV: -0.5 or lower

Smacking ISO up high helps a lot already, adds some beautiful noise to the picture and made it lighter. The EV definitely needs to be hit into negative if shooting in lowlight otherwise the camera leaves it's shutter open for too long and you end with blurry pictures. Maybe a tripod could be interesting to use with it.

Anyhow, this lead me to nicer, noiser photos at a day trip to Rijeka with friends. Importantly tho, I felt like I needed to do some post corrections to "pull out" the colours id like. It's something I'd like to avoid, not necessarily because its bad - it's completely valid - but I work so much with a computer in my day-to-day that I'd rather not make my photography hobby depend on it too.

3. Cuisine Preset

A few weeks later I had the chance to visit my good friend Luka in Italy and this is where I feel like I hit the stride with this camera. With the quest to reduce the amount of editing work I tried out the "modes" the camera offers for shooting, like "Night Time", "Nature"... I don't know what exactly these modes change as its not clear, but I believe they act sort of like a colour filter as they don't seem to override the ISO/Ev (which seems odd for some modes like Night Time).

I found that for the warm, noisy photo style that feels very fuzzy using the Cuisine preset alongside the high ISO made for fantastic results. I guess it fit cause everyone I was shooting was a snack hehe.

Rambling on pricing

Last thing I'd like to note is, I love how gimmickry this camera feels in the hand. It has such a weird shape. However, I think the regular price of this thing, 100€ on Ebay, is outside of what is reasonable. I got incredibly lucky and found an almost pristine one on an Austrian second hand site for 50 with shipping to Slovenia. If your goal is to shoot nice photos, i don't think this is worth it.

What I want to say is that you can take photos of this style on cameras way cheaper as well. I also believe that the digicam spirit is to pickup something cheap and make it work. Another part of the digicam spirit, to me, is finding weirdly shaped things. In an era of glass slabs seeing some weird angular designs like this is exciting and harkens to a wild west of electronics design and this one is definitely in that category and it feels like this is being abused by sellers a bit. I don't know man, scarcity and collections are a weird thing.

#brindoes #blogging #digicam #photography #mju mini #stylus verve #Olympus #y2k

[blazehedgehog]

What do you think of Nvidia's new DLSS Frame Generation technology that creates frames in between ones created by the GPU with AI to produce a smoother frame rate and also give you more FPS?

As a chronic screenshotist, I hate it. I can't find the post now, but I talked about how smeary recent games are thanks to upscaling. Games with dynamic resolutions and heavy upscaling always leave smudgy, smeary, ugly artifacts all over the screen, where the renderer is filling in missing information.

I see it in a lot of Unreal Engine games, but I'm pretty sure I saw it in the PS4 version of Street Fighter 6, too. It makes games look worse than they should.

I've also played Fortnite through things like GeForce Now, where you can (or used to be able to) crank the settings up to max, and even with everything on Epic Quality, surfaces can still be smeary, grainy, and covered in artifact trails.

So when you tell me that not only is the rendering engine going to be making a blurry mess out of my game because of resolution scaling, but it's also going to be motion smoothing whole entire new frames on top of that?

Gross. No thank you.

I feel like photo mode is a way to "solve" this, because photo mode deliberately takes you out of the action to render screenshots at much, much higher settings than you normally get during gameplay. But that creates a different problem in that's not how photography always works.

Photography is about taking 300 shots and only using the five best ones.

Photo mode suggests you are setting up for a specific screenshot on purpose when that's just not how it always goes.

If interframe generation makes this worse, or harder? I don't want it. I don't care what the benefits claim to be. We're in a constant war to tell our parents to turn motion smoothing off on new TVs, why would we want to bring that in to games?

#questions #Anonymous #nvidia #dlss #graphics #hardware

[maestro04yayyy]

Antivillain au! One shot

Chloe was sitting on the floor of the art club classroom,but she was wearing her 'disguse", she isn't really sure disguise ia the right word since she simply put on her glasses, let loose her hair and wear more comfotable chlotes, but people don't recognize her like this so it is a disguse.

She heard the door opening but didn't look away from her work.

Rose:oh hello Emilie!!! I didn't know you went to this school too!!! Is juleka with you too? What are you doing here???

Chloe smiled still working before answering.

Chloe:no, she isn't, I think she went home immediatelly after school, oh i am finishing my gift for her. Her birthday is soon after all

Rose:awwww you are making her an album of photoes!!! She will love it!!!!

Chloe smilled more: i surely hope so, it is kinda tradition for me to make those stuff for mu friends

She caressed her old camera with an hand

Rose:reallly?

They heard the door opening again and people entering but chloe didn't mind it much.

-------------------

When alix entered the art club classroom with nath, marc and marinette she didn't expect to see chloe talking so friendly with rose

'Is she wearing glasses' was her first tought and was immediatelly followed by 'I wish i was in rose's place now'

Then she started hearing what chloe was saying and nostalgia and sadness settled in her.

Chloe:yeah, I love photography as kid and took a bunch of them, of me, my friends and stuff that remembered me of them, and every year during their birthday i would give them an album of photes, so they could see and realize how much they have grown during the year and be pround of themself as much as I was pruod of them

Alix remember that, she still has all the album chloe gave her, she even continued to gift her those album after alix broke their friendship....but now they don't have many photoes of her or them toghter, mostly objects that reminf chloe of her.

She still loves to looks at those album when she has a bad day or a good or even just a day.........

'Why the hell have i ruined that?' She thought bitterly but she knew she answer it was because chloe was bad......

But now she isn"t anymore, she here laughing and sgaring story of her childhood with Rose.

So maybe alix can be her friend again!!!

No, no she has left chloe and betrayed her.

She knows chloe is still here for her if she need her and knows too well that chloe will accept her back immediately butnit is eclxactly for that that she can't just go back to her.

Alix isn't worthy of chloe's frendship anymore.

Chloe:ALIX!!!!! AKUMA!!!!!!

and alix looked up, seeing the blurry imagin of a black butterfly.

'Why my vision is blur?' She thought

Then a camera went flying and hit the akuma that entered inside it.

Alix looked who trhow that and saw chloe with her arm outstretched and a purple visor on her face

alix, wishpering;no.......

But then the visor turned bright red and burned away.

Everyone looked at chloe amazed and surprised while rose hugged her.

All that alix could do was stare at the broken camera, she adrien, felix and Sabrina gifted chloe when they were 4.

She had cried when they gave it to her she remember, and now because of her it is broken.

She could feel the tears flowing now and her body trembling while she tried not to sob.

And a moment later a familiar embrace engulfed her.

Alix sobbed:i-i am s-sorry....

Chloe, hugging and caressing alix's back:hey hey, don't worry I am here, nothing is wrong

Alix:but it is, your camera......

Alix gripped chloe's chlotes until her nukkles turned white.

If she let go she will disappear too and nobody will love her again

Chloe:don't worry I can fix it, i am amazing after all

That made alix chuckle a little mid cry

Alix whispering:y-yes you are perfec mom....

Amd then chloe started to slftly sing the lullaby she used to sang for them during all of their childhood and alix knew she didn't had to be scared anymore, chloe was there, she was holding her so nothing could hurt her right now.

(I thought about this little story, i am not sure i wrote it well but ehhh i don't really care i just wanted to write a thought i had some times ago and actually conpleate and organize it, so I wrote it, i hope someone will like it thought!!!! Oh and any tips to improve my writing is well accepted)

#antivillain! chloe #chloe bourgeois #miraculous ladybug #antivillain au #marc anciel #nathaniel kurtzberg #marinette dupain cheng #alix kubdel

[siopaofrog]

Just Drunk? || Bakugou x Fem!Reader

warnings: alcohol use, smut, semi-public, 18+

“Whatever,” you said, downing a fourth shot. “You only care about the photos, anyway.”

Bakugou glanced at you, squinting. “How much of an idiot are you?”

“It’s true, isn’t it? Mr. Pro Hero?” You poked your finger into his shoulder. “Looking good is all you care about. For the public eye, for all the fans. Just say it already. You won’t be hurting my—”

“(y/n).”

Hearing him say your first name shook you to the core. It had always been “(l/n)” or “idiot” or “dumbass” in brusque Bakugou fashion.

Although he hired you as his personal photographer, you passed sneaky glances at each other—always snapping back to professional protocol. The attraction became clear after your first few sessions together. Having the camera pressed up to your eye, admiring his sculpted form, his wildly kinetic grin—even his all-bark attitude—it was hard not to like the guy.

You stared at him now. His flaming eyes glanced at your lips—a brief moment—before snapping up to meet your gaze.

“What?” you asked coyly.

He turned away, clipping the tension between you two. He downed his fourth shot, one swift motion that left him swaying slightly. Not quite drunk.

But you were drunk. Real drunk.

You didn’t intend for this to happen. It was a long day of hero work, and he’d dragged you along to snap photos of him doing God knows what, blowing up shit and posing in his new hero gear. Strangely enough, later that day, Bakugou had the urge to dress up and grab drinks at a fancy bar—rounds were on him, he said—and so, boom, here you were. Unfortunately, you were a lightweight, and the blond himself appeared to be, too.

He downed another shot, a little too quickly. He then slapped it on the counter, hiccuping as he rubbed the glass between his fingertips.

Was he… nervous?

“(y/n),” he started, your name slurring slightly on his tongue. “You’re really fuckin’ dumb if you think I only come to you for your slightly-above-average photography skills.”

You took the compliment.

“Then what do you come for, Katsuki?”

First name basis? you hoped. He didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he had this sly smirk on his face, the real crooked kind that made him look both hot and stupid at the same time. His tie had come undone, the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to reveal his toned forearms. God damn.

He blinked down at you in that red dress, his eyes savoring you. For once it seemed he was at a loss for words. Brashly, he tsked and found his bearings.

“I would ask you the same. Clearly I don’t pay you enough.”

“I asked you first,” you said, elbows on the counter. You leaned a little too close to him.

“You’re an idiot.”

He didn’t bother moving—in fact, his shoulder bumped into yours.

“You’re the idiot for hiring me.”

You couldn’t take it. Bakugou was so close you could smell him—the cinnamon-anise mixture, his hot breath tinged with alcohol. He kept glancing at your lips, leaning unsteadily.

And all at once you snatched his loose tie and dragged him down, his hands flying to your waist—a clash of lips against lips, tongue against tongue, teeth on teeth—your heart set ablaze, something between you both so bright and blurry and fucking amazing.

Bakugou squeezed the small of your back, sliding his hand down your ass and pressing into you. You couldn’t help but groan softly at his touch.

You pulled away after a good minute, staring intently at each other. You still had his tie in your grasp. Slowly, you let go.

“I think you answered your own question,” he said, voice husky and soft. He called another round of shots, then tipped one to his lips.

You did the same. You grinned, but suddenly faltered as you asked, “Are—are we just drunk?”

Bakugou brought his face down again, brushing his lips across yours. Teasing you. Making you wait.

“Are we just drunk?”

You answered him with a kiss. You pressed into him, tugging gently on his tie to bring him closer. “I definitely am. But this doesn’t change my feelings.” You paused. “Does it change yours?”

He hiccuped, and for the first time you noticed just how red his face was. He grinned toothily. “Hang on—me? Drunk? Fuck that. Fuck your photos. Also, can I fuck you?”

Your cheeks were on fire. “You are fucking drunk.”

Bakugou laughed this slow, slurred laugh. You’d never heard or seen him like this. It was strangely adorable.

“Whatever.” He kissed you this time. Softly. Lingering a mere inch from your lips, he said, “But to answer your question—no. It doesn’t change how I feel at all, (y/n).”

“Then let’s get out of here.”

You leaned on each other, laughing stupidly as you called a cab. The driver glanced up awkwardly at the rear view. You were all over each other in the backseat, Bakugou tugging your hips into his, your hands in his hair. Your minds swirled in a dizzying haze—but fuck it—you wanted each other. Bad.

“My place,” he spluttered out between fervent kisses.

You nodded emphatically.

Even as you both nearly fell out of the cab, you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Making your way through the apartment building, halfway into the elevator he pressed you up against the wall and ground his hips into you, moaning gruffly into your ear.

“You like that baby?”

“Yes,” you gasped, your cheek mashed into the elevator mirror. In it, you could see yourselves—Bakugou rubbing crudely against you, your helpless, lolling expression.

“Yeah? Yeah?”

You nodded as he gripped your ass and bit your earlobe.

“That’s right, that’s my girl.”

The elevator pinged, and you took that opportunity to press off and clutch him by his shirt collar, pushing him out into the hall until his heels hit the wall.

“How do you like that?” you teased, already reaching for his belt buckle.

“Dumbass,” he hissed, and bent down and kissed your neck, sucking, murmuring your name against your skin. “Let me… get my keys…”

“I got ‘em,” you whispered, but instead ripped his belt off and started unbuttoning his slacks.

“Ah—ah—stop stroking, idiot…” Bakugou grunted, refusing to let out the beautiful moans you knew he had in him.

“What’s the magic word?” you insisted slyly.

He shook his head. “Fuck off.”

“Not even close, baby.”

He grunted again and finally managed to yank out his keys, now shoving you roughly into the opposite wall. He chuckled darkly. “You thought you had me, hah?”

He was able to wriggle his front door open and you both burst in, a hot, drunk mess of hands and eager hips. Bakugou tugged your dress up and rammed you against his door. He lifted you and ordered you to wrap your legs around his waist. You did as you were told, your lips crashing into his.

“Fuck me good,” you said, smirking.

“With pleasure.”

Hands wrapped securely about you, your thighs squeezing his waist, he moved his pelvis up against you and the door.

“Ah—yeah, yeah baby, you’re so good,” he murmured, placing kisses all along your chest and collarbone as he kept his stride against you.

“Oh, Katsuki…”

You couldn’t help but moan his first name. It felt so right on your lips. He felt so right inside you. Together, you were meant to be here, right here, in this exact moment.

You bit your nails into his back, clawing at the fabric of his dress shirt.

Pumping his hips into you—you grinding back, pressing tight—closer, closer—

Your voices rang in unison. Breath hitching, chests heaving, he slackened his grip on you. You chuckled softly at each other as he brought you to his bedroom. Gently, he set you down on the bed and pecked your forehead. He trailed kisses down your face, until he met each corner of your lips with his own.

“You alright, (y/n)?” He crawled over you, hands on either side of your head.

“Yeah,” you breathed, and kissed him ardently. “Better than alright.”

You started for his shirt, slipping each button free to trace your hands along his bare chest and pecs. He unhooked your bra. Together, you undressed each other and clambered into his sheets.

“Hey,” you whispered. “I gotta tell you something.”

He smirked, running a hand down your shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You flipped him over, now straddling him, grating roughly into his crotch.

“Oh, fuck! Ah—”

Your hands clamped his wrists, sliding them up over his head. Instinctively, his fingertips sparked faintly, but he gripped his hands into fists to stop himself from blowing up the damned place.

“You d-dumbass…”

You loved hearing that waver in his voice, the desperation.

“Play nice,” you breathed into his ear. “Or else.”

“Or—or else what?” he whimpered.

You kissed him sweetly.

“Or there’s no round two, Katsuki.”

#boku no hero academia #fanfiction #fanfic #bakugo katuski #bakugou #mha smut #drunk love #my hero acedamia #bakugou x reader #drunk bakugou

[acestradlin-stars]

Richie Sambora x reader (comforting you through a panic attack)

You and your boyfriend shared a house together, one day Richie was just getting home from rehearsal, you didn't greet him at the door like you always would, he started looking around the house for you, he went upstairs and heard slight noises. He opened the door to see you sitting on the ground by the bed, you were hugging your knees and you were shaking, a panic attack, he's helped you with them before. He knelt down next to you.

“Sweetheart what happened..?”

*my breathing was heavy and I could barley speak*

"e-everything's been stressing me out t-today.. I-I don't know what's going on.."

“Baby shh shhh…”

His tone became soft, he placed his arms around you and pulled you up to him, wrapping you in a tight hug

“Shhh don’t worry… I’m here, just breathe, slow deep breaths okay?" "Everything will be okay I promise…”

*everything was spinning, my vision was blurry from tears and it was difficult to speak, I tried calming my breathing down but it was so difficult to*

“I know baby I know…”

He pulled you closer to him, he brushed your hair from your face as one tear rolled down your cheek.

“Look at me.”

He turned your head gently to look into his eyes

“I’m right here, you’re safe, I got you, I’ll take care of you…”

*I nodded my head at him and tried steadying myself, my breathing wasn't as heavy but it was still going*

“Good baby, that’s good, keep breathing…”

He placed his hand at the nape of your neck, massaging it gently as he spoke

“You’ve done so well, you’ll be right darling…”

He lifted both your hands to his lips, kissing each one tenderly, still keeping his eyes locked onto yours.

*I chuckled slightly at his sweet kisses on my hands, I smiled slightly starting to calm down a little*

He noticed you had started to calm down

“See darling I knew you were strong, I knew you’d be able to do it…”

He kept his arms around you as you were practically hugging him for dear life.

“Can I ask what was stressing you out?”

"It's just.. so much has been piling up on me with the new photography job, I have to fill out tons of paper work"

I'm already getting booked for a much of parties and weddings that won't be for months, it's hard to keep track of all of them"

"And today got me all worked up because I had gotten invited to go to a bar with a friend and we were talking for a bit until this guy came up to me and started complimenting me, trying to flirt with me and I kept telling him to stop but he didn't"

"My friend tried to help but he just wouldn't back off, it was making me really uncomfortable and when I got up to leave he whistled at me yelling i had a nice ass and it was covered but not enough"

"And when i got back here my mom called me asking when we'd be able to see eachother and i told her i was busy and she kept saying "oh we'll find a day to" she wouldn't stop I thought I'd never get off the phone until I lied telling her I wasn't feeling alright"

"she kept asking if i was okay and that why you weren't there to help and i told her youve been busy and she doesnt like that your always away then she finally hung up then everything came crashing down"

“Jesus Christ..”

He pulled you a bit closer, hugging you a little tighter and kissing your head.

“Oh baby I’m sorry everything went so badly for you today.”

He held you close, stroking your hair and kissing your forehead.

“I can’t believe someone touched you, that’s unbelievable. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I were there.”

His tone was angry, a hint of jealousy seeping through.

"I just.. I don't get it what is it about me that gets guys attracted to me, is it because I have an ass.? Or I they just plain creeps.?"

"And my mom wouldn't stop fucking talking I told her i didn't feel well and then she kept saying how you weren't there and that she doesn't like that your always away and I told her you are very busy with your career but she never listens"

He kept stroking your hair as you spoke, kissing your forehead and cheek now and again, listening closely to your rants.

“Sweetheart… I don’t know… probably both.”

A flicker of jealousy runs through him as he remembers how good looking you were, he knew you’d have guys hitting on you all the time.

“Honey can I be honest with you for a second?”

"What..?"

“Well… you’re a very beautiful girl, one of the prettiest I’ve seen. That’s why guys are always hitting on you.”

He looked back down at you, still holding you in his arms when he spoke

“I don’t mind you getting hit on but the problem is, you’re MY girlfriend and I’m so sick of guys trying to shoot their shot with you…”

"I know.. it pisses me off when they try, and sometimes they never leave me alone when I tell them to just go away, that only makes them get closer, I just.. wanna fucking punch em.."

“And I wish I could be there every time to stop them…” He squeezed you in his arms, wanting to protect you at all cost. “I hate these guys who don’t respect boundaries and will try anything to sleep with a beautiful girl like you.”

He leaned his face a little closer to you, his tone shifting to a more flirty, lighthearted feeling.

“I mean you can’t blame them though when you’re walking around looking that delicious…”

*I snorted accidentally in my laugh, leaning my head on his chest*

"Nahhh Richie, I can't with you sometimes"

*I couldn't stop laughing*

“Ohh no? Am I wrong? Am I lying when I’m saying that you look absolutely delicious right now?”

He shifted slightly, pulling you on top of him so you were now straddling his lap as he continued.

“Just look at you baby, you look like an absolute dream.”

*i raised my eyebrows at him and I blushed a little*

"well.. I guess your not wrong"

“See..”

He wrapped his arms around your waist and squeezed you against his chest.

“You know I don’t bullshit when I compliment you…”

He smirked as he looked over at your facial expression

“Still think I was wrong for saying you are a complete snack?”

"I still don't consider myself a snack, I am not edible Richie.."

“Oh no you’re VERY edible if I do say so myself.”

He lifted your chin up with his hand to make you look at him.

“I want to take a bite out of you every time I see you…” The look in his eyes was filled with desire.

"Noo, I'm not edible, I don't get you sometimes Rich, I still don't know how you see me as a snack..?"

“Because you literally are a snack, how are you not seeing that?”

He raised his brow as he spoke

“Sweetheart look at yourself for a second. You have a gorgeous smile, gorgeous eyes, beautiful lips, oh and a killer ass.”

"Noo Richie, come onnn I'm not that good, I'm average I wouldn't say I'm beyond"

He looked at you with complete disbelief.

“Are you insane? You’re one of the most good looking girl I’ve EVER seen! You are FAR beyond average, hell there’s probably a line of guys waiting outside this door just to get with you right now!”

He paused a moment, looking at you and then letting out a little chuckle.

“My sweet girl really has no idea how gorgeous she actually is…”

"I doubt there's a kind of guys trying to get me, the only thing they want really is probably my ass, I don't really have much than my ass"

“Oh stop”

Richie sighed and looked down at you shaking his head.

“You are so beautiful baby, you have so much more to offer than your ass, stop selling yourself short I’m begging you…”

He ran his thumb along your cheek and held you face in his hand

“You are so much more than just a nice ass.”

"I'm sorry.. I'm just really self conscious about it.. I just think of the worst that there's a pervert at every corner trying to get a look"

“Baby… they’re probably not even perverts, there probably just staring out of pure amazement, you are so damn beautiful, I’m not even joking.”

He lifted your chin up so you would be looking at him

“I don’t think I’ll ever get over your beauty.”

"You mean they probably just find me attractive and arn't perverts..? Damn I sound stupid asking that"

“You’re not stupid baby, yeah of course they find you attractive that’s why they’re staring.”

He smirked, squeezing you against his body as you were in his lap.

“You are so goddamn hot honey, I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes…”

"Well you see me way differently than I see myself, I just see myself as an average girl, I'm not that smart, I have failed my algebra exams because I don't understand shit, I've failed a lot of test because I can't remember anything, and I still managed to be where I am right now, I don't get it"

“Your so much more than a test score or a exam result! Just because you can’t do maths doesn’t mean your dumb, some people are just bad at subjects, it’s fine!”

He squeezed you again

“The way I see you is beyond hot, far from average, beautiful, gorgeous and sexy, you are everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more baby.

*I smiled at him and blush deepened on my cheeks*

"How did I ever find someone like you.."

“I should be asking you that, I can’t believe a goddess fell in love with me.” He shifted slightly so you were fully in his arms as he spoke, his back leaning against the head board of the bed.

“How did you even give me the chance to talk to you? I still can’t believe I got the hottest girl I’ve ever seen.”

"Well.. you weren't like any of the other guys I've been with, you're different, you are way more handsome than any else of them, and you understand me so much, I can't think of one thing you couldn't understand about me"

“Awww..”

He was smiling wide, his tone was filled with pure happiness as he heard your kind words. He lifted your chin and started kissing you, his hands still squeezing your body.

“That’s because we’re so similar in every way, we just clicked from almost day one. We knew we were meant to be together and I honestly can’t imagine spending another day with anyone else but you baby.”

“I love you too my darling, with all my heart.”

His arms wrapped around you and pulled you as close as he possibly could, he wanted to be with you like this forever, he would never let you go.

He kissed your forehead as he lay back on the bed, you on top of him.

"We should probably get some rest now huh.?"

"Yeah.. I'd like that.."

He placed another kiss on your forehead and moved his hand up to your hair.

"Goodnight my love.."

"Goodnight Rich.."

I felt myself drift off very quickly and I was happy.

Richie noticed that you fell asleep quickly and he smiled

"Sweet dreams sweetheart, you are worth everything to me.."

#richie sambora #bon jovi

[redlipstickandcoat]

On Sherlock calling Molly “John”

A year ago I wrote a really long meta but it got deleted/unsaved, as I’m lazy and disappointed and haven’t re watched the tv series in a long time I’ll keep it short and jump straight to the point.

I think the reason Sherlock has occasionally called Molly "John" is bc he’s sexually attracted to her, and when he needs to focus on casework, he confines her in that box so he doesn’t get distracted. There’s a whole special episode that shows how far Sherlock goes to bury his feelings, and it involves denying Molly her womanhood (which I interpret in two ways: a. he’s sexually repressed, and b. he might harbor some misogynistic attitudes about a woman having such an intellect that it properly rivals his). These problematics kinda get resolved as sherlock not only sees Molly as a woman in the end, she inspires and is a leader of many other women and is shown fighting for her rights and dignity in suffragette style. 

When he calls her John in the trf episode it’s bc he has to be laser focused on saving those kids after spending some time chastising her about her love life. Notice that when she pushed to talk to him and deduce him, it almost seemed like his eyes were recalibrating to put her in focus like a camera. From blurry to crisp, the photography of the episode illustrates that moment as well. It’s not just bc he’s making a double take at her observational abilities or that he’s seeing her for the first time; he probably had her blurred out so she doesn’t distract him. Sherlock’s limitations and emotional constipation make him look and act like an asshole. He gains some self-awareness slowly but surely during the series, but this anti-social aspect is part of him. And didn’t Moffat say that Sherlock couldn’t be attracted to John otherwise he’d be too distracting to live with?

Another time, during TEH episode, he calls her John right after he hears his voice in his head taunt him for being "jealous". Maybe he’s jealous bc he’s reminded she’s wearing an engagement ring. Maybe he’s intimidated by her intellect and feels he can’t dazzle her as much as he’d like to when compared to others, so he tells himself to focus and tunes her out for max performance. Intelligence is his pride in some way; it is what he has above most others and what he can exploit to woo a mate, but what if the lady in question is not easily impressed (at least according to him)? Shortly after that, he declares he won’t insult her intelligence (Lestrade - he doesn’t mind) bc in reality, he doesn’t have much to show off in that moment except a theatrical "welcome to my world", which she receives graciously. Sherlock is disappointed bc the case is a hoax. Molly is disappointed, maybe she’s seen that behavior before and wishes she could please.

How does she feel about all of this? Hurt probably, if this is how Sherlock sees her as a " version of John, useful for The Work" (she should know better but when it comes to the matters of the heart we can all be self-deprecating), but it wouldn’t surprise me if she’s been burned before in regards to her intelligence and competence when dealing with men who are romantically interested in her. It probably affects her, like so many other women, and pushes her to not be as much of a show-off and confident as she deserves, hence the meek and occasionally submissive apologetic posturing. Maybe I’m projecting, but women tend to be punished for being too "perfect" and intelligent, especially in their interpersonal relationships, and they end up over-compensating in the other direction. It’s the fawn response, if it’s true I hope her character finds peace in fandom land lol. I could go on and on about this aspect of their relationship, and I would if I were a good fiction writer.

Another part of my meta focused on how despite all of this, Sherlock is comfortable around Molly, not just as a lab partner, he trusts her with his body, vulnerabilities, secrets, with his death. So no, she’s not and never will be just “a distraction”.

#sherlolly #sherlolly meta #my meta #i wrote this in less than 10 min bc I procrastinated this piece for so long #let it out #the fanfics i'd love to write but I know they'd be meh #i think you can find healing through romantic relatonships #it'd be so interesting

[tokyonomad]

tokyo_nomad_ FAQ

I sometimes get questions from people that want to know about me as an artist, so I decided to put together an FAQ that covers bio stuff like my background, inspirations etc.

1. Can you share your artistic background and journey to becoming an artist?

Sure. 

I've always had a curiosity and creative hunger, but for a long time I didn't have a focussed creative outlet for it. I guess I was kind of looking for my calling. For many years I'd been lucky enough to have a creative aspect to my IRL work so that kept me feeling satisfied. Unfortunately, that all changed around 2019 for various reasons that are too boring to write out here. 

That kind of left me with this vacuum in my life and I felt like I had a lack of purpose. I started getting depressed and realised that I needed to take back agency in my life rather than allowing other people such control over my fulfilment.

So around 2019 I started getting into photography and photo editing. I started off just taking photos as I walked around Tokyo, and that became my initial kind of niche.

Not only that, but I had all these photos of my 10+ year in Japan but I'd always assumed they were just kind of flat and lifeless. And most of them were. But then I realised through changing simple settings like brightness and contrast, it actually made a big difference to the photos. 

Eventually I started gravitating more towards black and white photography. I was a listening to a lot of Joy Division around that time. If you've ever seen that Kevin Cummins shot of the band on a bridge that he shot for NME, that was kind of what I was hoping to replicate.

So yeah, I guess I can sum it up as a need to create something in my life.

2. How did you become involved in glitch art?

It was kind of a perfect storm of different factors that lead me to discovering glitch art and finding that I had a passion for it. 

I already kind of mentioned how I started off taking photos, and then discovering the power of photo editing, which I guess were the first two initial steps that lead me towards glitch art.

At that time I was still playing around with black and white photography but it was kind of difficult to feel like I was making much improvement with it despite spending hours on a single photo. I also felt like there wasn't much room to experiment with b&w photography, at least not with the resources I had at my disposal.

After a few months doing the b&w photography, the pandemic hit and it was getting more and more difficult to get outside to take new photos, and after a while I started running out of photos from my 10+ year Japan library that would look good as traditional photography.

That doesn't mean I didn't have a ton of photos left. It got me thinking if there was anything I could do with the 100s of imperfect photos that I had; the blurry ones, the ones with poor lighting, the ones with the subject just out of shot. It felt like a waste just to have these imperfect images sat around not being used in any way and not being enjoyed.

I've always had a fascination with transforming one thing into something else entirely. At first I started just messing around with a few apps or in GIMP and would see how much I could change the meaning or feel of an image. I'd change a photo of a tree into a futuristic spiral, or a cute little rabbit candy my daughter made me into this eldritch abomination. I found that dichotomy interesting.

I really enjoyed doing that and I started an Instagram account dedicated to these images and would follow different artists. Eventually the algorithm would suggest glitch artists and I became really interested in their styles. jrdsctt and sgt_slaughtermelon were a couple of the first accounts I followed. Then I also found Glitch Artists Collective which introduced me to a load more glitch artists and that was when I decided I wanted to make art that looked like that.

After I started playing around with different glitch tools, I realised I really loved the endless possibilities that glitch art provides. There's always new tech being made, which brings with it new ways to break it and turn it into art.

3. What inspires your glitch art creations and influences your unique style?

When I first started out with digital image manipulation, I was heavily inspired by music. I guess I was trying to achieve similar aesthetics to artists that created art for bands that I liked, such as Peter Saville (Joy Division), Rob Sheridan (Nine Inch Nails) and Muted Fawn (Drab Majesty).

As I've gravitated more towards glitch art, my visual style is probably influenced a lot more broadly from a wide range of different influences; from 70s/80s sci-fi to 80s/90s video games,  to 80s retro futurism.  But I’m also affected by purely artistic or aesthetic influences too, whether that’s the Bauhaus movement, vaporwave aesthetics, or more esoteric influences such as industrial decor on 1980s Greater Manchester public transportation (a movement I’ve just dubbed GMPTEwave).

I also try to choose a visual style that i think can best express the narrative that I want to tell. So my style is also influenced by the themes in which I explore.

4. Speaking of which, could you describe some of the themes or concepts that often appear in your glitch art pieces?

In a broad sense, a lot of my work explores humanity, society, technology, and the way in which they interact or affect each other. 

Society has become needlessly complicated post modernization and is only become exponentially more so as we head toward the event horizon. My art is how I make sense of all the nonsense.

More specific themes I've explored in the past include social masks, false realities created through nostalgia, alienation caused by technology, communicating across the cultural and generational divide, just to name a few. 

Also, my experiences as an immigrant living in a foreign country is something that sometimes informs my work, as I document the weird and wonderful contrasts I find as an outsider.

5. What techniques or tools do you use to create your captivating glitch artworks?

I find that I get the best results when combining techniques or tools. 

Whether that's databending with hex editors or wordpad++, using sonification in audacity, glitching with CODECs. Or more standard kinds of image manipulation like slitscan or pixelsorting.

I generally start off doing something destructive with an image and making a lot of iterations of it. I often do a lot of stuff in Processing. I'll then decide which iterations I like and then play around with them in GIMP and try to make a composite image by blending layers together or using layer masks.

Once I've done that, I'm hopefully at a stage where I've found something that has potential but doesn't quite seem like the finished article. To give it a bit more personality, I'll generally finish it with some colour correction, adding some blur or playing around with G'MIC or with some of the mobile apps like Glitch Lab or Chroma Lab.

6. What emotions or reactions do you hope to evoke in viewers through your glitch art?

I guess it's evolved over time. At first I wasn't really making art for anyone but myself. Like I said, it was just about feeding that creative hunger. The actual final artwork was a byproduct of feeding that hunger. It was just an ends to a means. Back then I wasn't really thinking about evoking any emotions.

I think nowadays, it's always going to vary depending on what I wanted to express when I made each individual work. Ultimately, I feel as though the work has been successful if it prompts the audience to think more deeply about the subject. That is what makes a work meaningful, both to the observer and in a wider context.

It might sound strange but I wanted to avoid people considering my art from a technical standpoint. I didn't want them coming away focussing on what kind of techniques or programs I’d used. I find that to be a distraction and I wanted the work itself to be at the forefront. I think it's kind of like the joy someone feels when watching a magic show and not knowing how the illusion is done. Peeking behind the curtain too much ruins the fun and the magic.

7. Have you participated in any exhibitions related to glitch art?

Yeah.

I exhibited at fu:bar/expo in 2021 and 2022, Glitch.Art.Br 2021 and 2022, and Glitch Art is Dead in 2022.

8. Do you offer any workshops or tutorials for aspiring glitch artists who want to learn from your expertise?

I recently did a workshop for fu:bar/expo (2023) on using GLIC that was a lot of fun.

It's an area I want to think more about in the future. I started this journey with absolutely no knowledge of the technical side of things. I'm completely self taught. Glitch art is a very accessible medium, and I think the biggest barrier is just knowing where to start. Everything after that is just experimentation.

So in future, I want to think about how to help people make that jump into creating glitch art.

Aside from that, my DMs are always open to people who want to ask questions about my process. 

9. How can people connect with you and acquire your glitch art pieces for their collections?

People are always welcome to drop me a message on Instagram (unless you're intending to spam me with messages to be an ambassador for your jewelry brand). I'm always happy to answer questions about my process and I try my best to get back to people as soon as I have some free time. This is just a hobby for me and I have a pretty busy 'real' life, so it's not always possible to respond right away.

Right now, I don't sell my work. But it's something I'm looking to change in the future. At some point, I plan to start selling prints, t-shirts etc. I'd also like to license my artwork to musicians, content creators etc.

As for NFTs, that's not something I'm really interested in (so if you see anyone selling my work as NFTs, it's not me so please let me know). I only have limited time, so for me right now, I'd prefer to put my efforts toward something meaningful to me and make it accessible so everyone can enjoy my work; whether that's a print that people can buy and hang on their wall, or providing artwork for musicians as part of a broader creative vision for an album. I think back to all those albums I loved as a teenager and how much the album artwork really helped sell the vision of the music. That's more meaningful to me than some cryptobro owning my work as a piece of data on a Blockchain.

#glitch art #artists on tumblr #artist bio