#but I enjoy being wrong about my opinions

[ceesimz]

My Soul, It Did Decide!

Part 2 of this!

Here it is, as promised. I thought it was too long but I couldn't decide what to take out, so have it all. It was supposed to be done and out for Friday but when the Northern Lights come knocking you gotta go find them😅 Enjoy! Title of P1 is from my favourite Little Simz song 'Angel', this one from 'Worth It.' by Raye!

Adjusting to life with a child was as daunting as expected; having a whole human being depend on you was quite possibly the most terrifying thing in the world. Yet, when wide brown eyes stared up at you in the dead of the night and ten little fingers gripped just one of yours, it felt like you were made for it.

Newborns were possibly the laziest species of all, and you loved it. The first few weeks of her life, all Anaís did was eat, sleep, eat, and sleep some more. That left plenty of time for you to marvel at every little thing about her; the few wisps of dark brown hair she had, her perfect button nose, her tiny feet that were ever-moving, and her hands with the most adorable nails you'd ever seen, if that was possible. Not to mention the smell of her, which you thought was a myth, how women were obsessed with the smell of their baby, but you weren't embarrassed to admit it was entirely true. Alexia loved to tease you about it, but when one time in the middle of the night you'd caught her doing the exact same thing as you, she reluctantly gave in and joined you in your opinion.

The beauty of parenthood unfolds in countless ways, and the wonder of seeing the world anew through your child's eyes is unparalleled. You'd come to learn that even the simplest things made to be the most incredible memories. But the thing that got you the most though, was not only the prospect of all the memories your family were going to make, but what life Anaís might live.

Would she follow in Alexia's footsteps and become a football legend? Would she follow your path instead, a more educated and business led one? Would she become a doctor and save hundreds of lives, would she become the first astronaut to land on Mars, or would she spend her life living at home with you and Alexia? You didn't care what she would grow to be, your first rule of parenting was to never hold expectations against them beyond the normal ones of being kind and whatnot. The pride you felt towards her at such a young age was so extreme and overwhelming, you couldn't begin to process what it would be like when she came into her own as a person. Truly, there was no greater joy than being a parent, that much was true, and you hadn't even experienced any of the larger milestones yet.

There were moments over your life, before Anaís, where you worried about how much you'd be able to handle a child. Sometimes you wondered if you even wanted kids, but the thought of not having Anaís in your world now was... god, you couldn't even imagine it.

Even when she was screaming at the top of her lungs, refusing to sleep.

"Anaís, mi chiqui, por favor. Go to sleep." You begged, slowly stepping around the room whilst rocking a crying Anaís in your arms.

You'd tried it all by now, and nothing was working. Diaper change, feeding her, soothing her, cuddling her, everything you could think of. But nothing was good enough. There were tears brimming in your own eyes, thoroughly exhausted due to the restless night Anaís had had so far, and it seemed the end wasn't in sight yet.

"Please, please, little one." You sniffled, your emotions finally consuming you as one of your tears fell to merge with Anaís' own on her cheeks. "I don't get what's wrong!"

For all you knew, Alexia was in the bedroom a few feet down the hallway, soundly asleep. Blissfully unaware of the difficulties you faced in the next room over. Selfishly, the thought only made matters worse. A strangled shout escaped you before you could stop it, stressing both yourself and Anaís out inexplicably more.

By the grace of something your shattered mind couldn't name, that last call out from you had awoken the Spaniard, and she soon came stumbling into the nursery, instantly sobered from her sleep upon the sight she walked into.

Your face was red from stress and sobs, Anaís' tiny little cheeks matching yours as her face scrunched uncomfortably with each scrike she let out, and you only cried more at the sight of Alexia.

"Mi amor, what's happening?" Alexia rushes over to you, cautiously taking Anaís from your arms as her eyes flick worryingly between you both.

"She won't stop crying!" You sob, hiding your face into her neck. "I've d-done every- everything, she just won't stop."

"Okay, okay. Hey, what time is it, amor? Can you check for me please? Just that one thing, my love, that's all." Alexia asks, hoping there was a remaining part of your overwhelmed mind that was still lucid.

"Um, it's- it's almost four, I think." You choke out, slumping into the rocking chair and crying into your hands.

"Thank you, amor, that's all I needed. Stay right here, can you hold our mija for just a minute whilst I get something? I will be right back, I will be really quick."

You nod, and Alexia presses a firm kiss to your forehead before placing Anaís back in your arms. The 8-week-old had almost fully exerted herself now, no more loud cries coming from her, only a few upset whines that broke your heart nonetheless. Wiping your face on the shoulder of your shirt, you cradle Anaís closely and rest your forehead against hers gently.

"I'm sorry I can't figure it out. I'm so sorry." You mutter exasperatedly, a few tears falling onto the baby's head.

Thankfully, Alexia races back into the room, holding something that would hopefully be the solution to Anaís' problem. The realisation of what was most likely wrong with her struck your heart.

"She is probably feeling unwell from her injections, amor. Let's give her some of this, it should make her feel better."

In her hand was a bottle of medicine for young infants, made for specific times like this. The previous day, Anaís had had her 8 week jabs and the doctor had suggested that she may feel a little under the weather afterwards, something that was completely normal, and the medicine Alexia held more often than not worked in the same way paracetamol did for people with cold symptoms. Anaís didn't seem to be running a fever, much to your relief, but she was obviously in some discomfort and it killed you that you hadn't thought of it.

"Yes, yes, give it her." You respond shakily, standing up as Alexia measures the right amount into the small syringe.

It takes a little while to give Anaís the small dose of medicine, having to give tiny amounts in quick intervals since she was so young, but a few minutes later she'd had it all with little fight. She's still very unsettled, but her tears have fully stopped now, instead letting out a few grunts as she wriggles restlessly.

"Hopefully she will feel better in a few minutes. Do you need anything, amor? Anything at all?" Alexia offers quietly, her hands coming up to rest on your cheeks as she wipes your tears away so delicately.

"No, I'm okay. You can go back to sleep now if you want." You tell her, not meeting her eyes.

"Hey, I'm staying with you and chiqui. Let me know how you are, sí?" Her eyebrows furrowed anxiously as her eyes assessed your face.

"I'm fine." You sniffle, but she instantly shakes her head.

"Mi amor, you seem so tired and stressed. Let's get back to bed and relax. I can text our friends that we won't make it to lunch later too?"

"No, we can still go. It'll be fine." You give her a tight-lipped smile, hoping it'll convince her, but your eyes are bloodshot and weighed down by some dark bags, and she sees straight through you.

"They know that parenting is never perfect or straight-forward, amor, we can just reschedule. You need the rest and so does Anaís, okay? I will text them. Come on, back to bed." She wraps an arm around your shoulders and guides you out of Anaís' room.

Once you're back in your shared bedroom, you sit back against the headboard and Alexia sits on the edge of the bed next to your legs. One of her hands rests on your bare knee as you wore a t-shirt and shorts in the hot summer weather, and she gazed at you with no love lost.

"She's tired herself out I think. With all the crying." You stated, unsure what to say when she's looking at you like she was. Alexia simply smiled and nodded, watching as Anaís' eyes finally fluttered shut.

"Look. She's okay now. We're all okay." She says, shifting a little closer and pressing a kiss to you cheek. "I love you. You are the best Mama that Anaís could have."

You don't reply, overridden by worries and doubts and tiredness to even consider the statement she'd made, so you just shrug and feel Anaís properly settle down, now asleep.

"Could you put her in her cot, please?"

Alexia nods immediately and stands before picking up Anaís, careful not to wake her, and murmurs a few words in Spanish to her followed by a feather-light kiss to her cheek, then she places her in the cot beside the bed. You watched the scene in front of you, it never failing to put a smile on your face even in the worse moments of parenting.

As Alexia makes her way back into bed, you shift to lay on your side facing Anaís, a position you lay in almost every night as it's reasurring to be able to see her so close to you whilst she sleeps due to the netting on the side of the crib. Alexia shifts up behind you and leans up on one elbow to press a kiss to your cheek, before hugging you tightly back into her.

"I'm proud of you. I love watching you being a Mami. It's my favourite thing ever." Alexia whispers, her thumb stroking over the soft skin of your hip under your shirt.

"Really?" You laugh humorlessly. "Even when I'm screaming and shouting and crying because I'm so fucking stressed? Because I can't help my own baby?"

Alexia frowns and rests up on one elbow again, using her other hand to press you onto your back so she can get a look at your face.

"Why would you say that?" Alexia asks in a voice that came across more stern than she wanted it.

"You saw the state of me when you walked in. It was such an obvious solution, what she needed, and it did not cross my mind at all. She was feeling poorly and I didn't notice. I couldn't figure it out." Your ranting voice trailed off with the last two sentences, your worries all-consuming in the moment.

"Oh, mi chica." Alexia sighs, laying down and urging you to curl into her side with your face hidden in her chest. "Don't say things like that, it breaks my heart. I believe in you as a parent more than anyone in the world, there's no one I trust more with our chiqui than you, amor. It is your first time being a parent, I do not blame you for anything. Nothing at a-"

"So why are you so perfect then? It's your first time too, yet you handle everything so much better than me." You cut her off with an argument that sounds more accusing than it actually was. Thankfully Alexia knew you didn't mean it maliciously, the only nasty thing in this situation was the doubtful devil on your shoulder.

"I just try my best, as do you. I still overthink every little thing I do and I still worry all the time. It's been a long and emotional day turned night and you're exhausted, it's fine that you didn't think of her feeling poorly because the doctors said it's a fifty-fifty chance she'd even fall ill. This is why we co-parent, because when one needs the other, we're always there. And when we need to rely on each other, that's absolutely fine. When we need help, that's fine too. I'm not perfect, neither of us will ever be the perfect parent, but to me you are perfect. I promise there is no one else I'd rather raise children with. Anaís loves you so much, and I love you so much."

She rambles on, words of devotion and appreciation seemingly spilling from her like it's second nature. At some point during her impromptu speech, her free hand had travelled up to your head as she lightly stroked through your hair.

"Do you hear me, amor?"

With a shy nod, you bury your face in her chest and sigh shakily.

"I love you." You mumble, your hand that rested on her waist squeezing gratefully.

"I love you too. Put that irrational voice in your head to the side and let's sleep as long as possible before she wakes up again. Then, we can relax all day. Even if that means staying in bed the whole time, and you know I never let that happen." Alexia jokes, relieved to hear the short, quiet giggle you let out. "I will always be proud of you. Comprendo? Always."

"Sí, Ale. Thank you." You murmur, taking one last glance at Anaís who is still sleeping soundly now that she's feeling better. Then you lay back down against Alexia's chest, loving nothing more than falling asleep cuddled up to her. "Is it okay for me to sleep like this?"

"More than okay, amor. Rest well."

Despite it not being the comfiest position for her, Alexia happily lays there and holds you until you fall asleep, which happens fairly quick. With a little readjustment and a disgruntled noise coming from you, she shifts to a better position before falling into a slumber soon after.

All the lows of parenting were miniscule in comparison to the highs, because when Anaís smiles so brightly for the first time in her life the next day, the events of the previous night were almost entirely forgotten. It happened whilst Alexia was downstairs making breakfast, you'd just dressed Anaís in her nursery and as you were smiling down at her, albeit tired and slightly delirious, she just returned the smile like it was something she'd been doing all her (short) life.

When Alexia made her way back upstairs, a filled breakfast tray in her arms, her heart dropped when she walked past the ajar door to Anaís' room to hear you sniffling once more. She thought it was something to do with the previous night, so she quickly set the food down in your room before racing back.

"What's wrong?" She asks tenderly, gently placing her hands on your shoulders as to not scare you.

"She, she smiled at me." You stammer, overjoyed at such a beautiful milestone.

"She what?" Alexia lightly moved you over so that she could stand beside you at the changing table, looking down at your daughter where she wiggled happily.

"She smiled at me! A big, gummy smile!" You repeated, Alexia laughing giddily.

"Really?!" She cried out. "How?"

"What do you mean, how?" You giggled, to which she lightly nudged your side and rolled her eyes.

"How did it happen?"

"I don't know, I was just looking at her and smiling at her little outfit and she smiled back." You recounted, a few sly tears leaking from the corners of your eyes.

"Mm, who wouldn't smile at a face like yours, amor?" It was your turn to roll your eyes, this time at her charm. "Let me see if I can make her smile."

You watch on as Alexia delicately takes hold of Anaís feet with one hand as the other comes up to dance her fingers up and down the bottom of her feet. The reaction is almost immediate.

"Oh my god, she did it again!"

You giggle at the grin offered up by the little girl in front of you, your cheeks aching as the happiness of the moment is worth everything that you'd gone through and more. And the look on Alexia's face too? It's priceless.

All in all though, one of Alexia's biggest loves was of course football, which meant there was only so long she could go without playing. However, she also couldn't bare the thought of leaving your side for too long now that Anaís was in her life, so she opted out of the international pre-season camp that the team had organised and instead chose to stay back at home to do her own specialised camp at the Barcelona training facilities. Training days were longer compared to the little and often gym days she'd had over the last few months, but for her there was absolutely nothing better than knowing that you and Anaís were waiting for her with open arms, no matter how her day had gone.

Her new way of life gave her a completely different perspective for her career, and it felt like her motivation for, not only football, but her life in general had been completely redefined. She had a tiny human being to care for now, and everytime she kicked the ball, everytime she stepped on the pitch, every pass she completed, everything she did was done so with an urgency to be as perfect as possible. And no, that wasn't a toxic mindset, because as the past couple weeks had shown her, there was hardly such a thing called perfection. Undoubtedly she was annoyed at herself whenever she made a mistake, that would never change, but as long as Anaís still greeted her with that infamous gummy smile of hers everytime she saw Alexia, it was hard to be so negative when the meaning of her life gazed up at her like Anaís did.

However, the prize that was her career came at the expense of sometimes missing out on moments that tore her heart in two.

Ever since Anaís had first smiled, Alexia had been on a mission to achieve the next milestone: hearing her giggle for the first time. The happiness of her little girl was addictive, and she was sure that when she heard her laugh for the first time, she'd want to hear it every second for the rest of her life.

Unfortunately, timings weren't on her side.

In her hotel room, hours away from her family, she checked her phone for the first time since she got back from her game that evening to see a video you had sent. And what she was met with was so beautiful, but so heartbreaking.

With your friend behind the camera, you were stood in front of the TV screen with Alexia's game playing, holding Anaís over your head and slowly lowering her down until you can blow raspberries on her tummy. Her reaction? Letting out the most adorable, high-pitched giggle. Otherwise known as the sound Alexia had been dying to hear. With that, she dropped her phone to the bed beside where she sat and covered her face in her hands.

Of course she was over the moon at such a milestone, but she found herself moved to tears at the fact she wasn't there to witness it for herself. The person she'd go to when she was down was obviously you, but when she checked the time on her watch, she saw that it was about this part of the evening that you started Anaís' nighttime routine to get her settled. It was a precarious process and the less distractions, the smoother it goes. So instead, she turned to the the other woman of reason in her life, her own Mami.

"Hi mija. How are you?" Eli answers within two rings, herself back at home in Barcelona too.

"Hola Mami, I'm okay. Did you see the game?" Not quite possessing the willpower to open up yet, she started up a light and easy conversation.

"Of course I did, it was very good. Was Keira okay after the game? She went off, right?"

"Ah, yes, she did. Just cramp, I think." Alexia murmurs, a frown on her face as she messes with the corner of the pillow and concentrates on not falling apart so quickly. But after all, it is her own Mother she's talking to.

"And how are you, really?" There it is. That's the phase that breaks anyone who's on the verge of tears.

"Um, overall I'm okay, but tonight... a bit... not okay." Her voice cracks as she speaks, her frown more prominent as a single tear sneaks out.

"Why's that, mija?" Alexia hesitates. "You can tell me anything Ale, you know that. No matter what it is."

"Well, it's not really a secret that I'm not a big fan of travelling for football. It's always been that way and you've known that." Eli hums in acknowledgement down the line. "But now, it's... so much harder. Leaving my family at home. Anaís, she changes everyday and I'm missing that."

"And you rang me because you're too afraid to ring home, aren't you?" As ever, Eli could read Alexia inexplicably well, even hundreds of miles apart.

"Yes. Because it's not their fault, it's nobody's fault. I know it is just life and it's my choice, nobody is forcing me to continue playing, but now I'm starting to wonder if it's all worth it when I'm missing out on something so incredible. Anaís laughed for the first time this evening, and I was hours away, in a different country, on a football pitch, doing what?" Alexia scoffs, bringing a hand to her forehead with a quiet groan.

"You were out on a football pitch doing your job, achieving your dream, earning to provide a great future for your family, Alexia. It's not all for nothing, it's for everything. It's for Anaís' future and how well she gets to live, that's a privilege. It's for your future child's life and how well they get to live too. This is your dream, your Papi's dream, this is everything you've worked for all your life. Your children will get to reap the benefits from it, and you'll get to watch them grow up and lead beautiful lives because of the opportunities you will provide for them." Eli reasurres her, and Alexia begins to feel better by the second.

"I know. I know. You're right, Mami. Always."

"Sí, siempre." Eli agrees with strong conviction, making Alexia laugh quietly. "Think of how many more laughs you will hear from Anaís, Ale. You have a lifetime of laughter with her. Her first laugh, it was caught on camera, I got sent the video too. So you didn't miss it, you can watch it all night long tonight. Don't get so clouded about this, I know you and how your mind works and when your nena is back in your arms tomorrow, all this will be forgotten. But if we need a longer conversation about it, you can speak to me whenever."

"You... you get me everytime, Mami." Alexia smiles, Eli laughing heartily. "Thank you. You are right. I will get over all of this. T'estimo, I will see you tomorrow?"

"Mhm, at dinner. Ring your corazón tonight, escuchame? Hablar con ella, she will want to know. Then get some rest, sí? Mi hija, jo també t'estimo. Bona nit."

"Bona nit, Mami."

Before she got herself settled for the night, she fired off a quick text to you that asked for you to ring her when you had a moment. She knew it could be five minutes or five hours until you rang her, and she would happily accept either.

Once she had done her own night routine, she gets into bed knowing she will probably not get a lot of sleep tonight, even if she's not got to get up for a unhappy baby. With that knowledge, she grabs her phone again and watches the video from earlier. Before, she'd only gotten to the part where Anaís had giggled for the first time. What she hadn't seen though was the next few seconds of it, where the match broadcast had shown a close-up of herself. Stood to the side of the screen, your friend zoomed in on Anaís' face who had recognised her Mami on the screen and let out another burst of giggles before hiding her face in your neck.

It warmed Alexia's heart to no end, and all her thoughts from earlier flew out the window at the footage she'd just seen. Whether it was physical or not, she had been there in the moment of Anaís' milestone, and she had been there in the mind of her daughter at such a time. In fact, she had also made her laugh in the moment, and that meant the world to her. She just needed to experience it in real time now.

A little later, when she was watching some junk on the hotel TV, her phone finally rang with an incoming call from you.

"Hola, amor. Thank you for ringing me." Alexia breathes out as she lays on her side in bed.

"Of course, Ale. I watched the game, it was a good result. How are you after it? Feeling alright?" You whisper, sat up against the headboard and watching Anaís as she sleeps soundly.

"Sí, todo bien. How are you? Did Anaís get to sleep okay?" Alexia's eyes shut as she asks, picturing her daughter laughing to her heart's content.

"We're all good here, she's snoozing away beside me. Bedtime went as smooth as possible." You smile and resist the urge to reach out to take Anaís' hand, not wanting to disrupt her sleep. "With a few giggles here and there."

"I saw the video. Qué niña tan increíble es, no?"

"Isn't she just?" You sigh contentedly. "Did you see the part where she giggled at you on the TV?"

"I did. I just wish I was actually there to see it." Alexia mumbles, and you can easily detect the sadness in her voice.

"I know. I... I was in half a mind whether to send the video to you or not. Because I knew it would probably upset you, that you weren't here for it. I know how much you wanted to see it."

"No, no, I'm so glad you did. Forget the football game, it made my night. I will get to see her tomorrow, it'll be fine."

A few things you'd learnt in your time with Alexia: one, she was great at shunning her feelings to the side if it made other's lives easier. Two, she would reach a point where that habit of hers would cause a meltdown. And three, you were her weak point, and she could never shy away from pouring her heart out for too long to you.

"I know you, Ale." You state softly. "I know you're more upset than you let on."

"Mm. I was but I rang my Mami and I feel better now."

"You promise?"

"I promise." Alexia smiles, because she knows that tomorrow she'll have her daughter and the love of her life back in her arms, and it'll all be okay.

"Okay. Let me know if you want to talk about it, anytime at all." Alexia hums in acknowledgement. "I have an idea."

"What's that?"

"Tomorrow, instead of getting the coach back from the airport, why don't Anaís and I pick you up?" You suggest, knowing exactly what she needs, which is to see her daughter.

"I would love that. That would be amazing." Alexia replies breathlessly a few moments later. "I would really love that."

"Then it's a plan, hm? We'll be there, waiting for you. Might even make a sign. 'Welcome home, Mami! '" You tease, grinning when Alexia chuckles shyly.

"I have been gone for a few days only. I'm not coming home from prison, amor."

"Hm, don't lie, I know you'd love it if I did do that though. I see right through you, Alexia."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." You hear her stifle a yawn, and though it's not late, playing 90+ minutes of football whilst caring for a young baby are two things that are already exhausting in itself.

"Get some peaceful sleep while you have the opportunity. I'm jealous." Alexia huffs.

"You know I don't sleep after a game. Even worse when you're not with me." She complains.

"Okay, then I'll stay on the phone whilst I have a bath and I'll wait until you fall asleep." You hear the smirk before she even replies.

"And how will I sleep if I know you're in the bath?"

"You would think that now you've got a child, you'd be somewhat more mature." You roll your eyes but there's a hint of a smile on your face. "I'm not going to video call you because I know for a fact you wouldn't sleep then. I'll just talk your ear off. You normally reach a point where you stop listening when I do that."

"Anaís does too. You talk her ear off a lot."

"It's good for her development! When she starts talking at eleven months instead of twelve, you'll be thanking me."

The pair of you continue to chat and joke for long into the night, you deciding to ditch your plans for a bath and Alexia more than happy to listen to you discuss whatever came to your mind. For the whole duration of the call, there's a soft smile on her face that doubles in size when she hears you gently shushing and soothing Anaís when she fussed a little in her sleep. It was safe to say she was more excited for her airport pickup the next day than she was for anything in her life.

Because the sight of her little girl in your arms the following afternoon was a thing she didn't know it was possible to miss so dearly over a short period of time. You didn't have a sign, but in one of Anaís' tiny fists was a small Barcelona flag that matched the jersey she wore too. As soon as Alexia caught sight of you both, she ditched the conversation she was in the middle of and broke off into a light jog towards you. Anaís was turned away from her at first, but when she got closer, you shifted the little girl in your arms and pointed towards her Mami running over.

And what did she do then? At the sight of Alexia, running with her luggage and her laptop in her arms with a shy grin on her face, Anaís giggled.

"Ay, dios mío. Mi chiqui." Her voice was quiet and shaky when she spoke, immediately placing her bag down and her laptop on it before reaching out for Anaís. "Hola, nena. Hi!"

You wrap an arm around her waist and rest your head on her shoulder, laughing when Anaís reaches a little hand out to grab at Alexia's nose. The rest of the team stay back and watch the moment, Mapi having filmed it all as she knew it'd be a memory Alexia would want to keep. They had never seen this side of Alexia, where her heart was merely a puddle on the floor due to the love she held for her daughter. Anaís didn't know it yet of course, but she had Alexia wrapped around her finger from the minute she was born, and that was never going to change.

"Oh, I have missed her so much." Alexia sighs, resting her forehead against Anaís' cheek and repeatedly pressing kisses to the soft skin there. Quickly, the baby's attention inevitably falls elsewhere - being in such a hectic public space like an airport was just so intriguing for her.

"She missed you too. Look at that smile! She's dribbling all over the place." You state, Alexia shrugging nonchalantly.

"I don't care. Anaís, oye, mírame." Alexia leans back and gently pokes her daughter's cheek to gain her attention back. However, the young girl was seemingly stuck in a giggly trance as Mapi creeps closer, pulling a different face with every step she takes. "Mapi! Basta, pendeja! You are distracting her!"

You laugh at Alexia's jealousy and Mapi's subsequent pout, quickly wiping away Anaís' drool with the bib she had on.

"Ay, Ale, don't swear in front of your child." Mapi tuts, a smug grin on her face as she lightly tickles under Anaís' chin and pulls yet another giggle from her. It's simply music to Alexia's ears.

"María, come on, leave them alone." Ingrid takes Mapi's hand and pulls her away but not without a grumble from her.

Finally, now that Mapi and her childish tendencies are gone, Anaís decides to turn her attention back to Alexia.

"There is my chiqui." Alexia bops her nose lightly, eliciting her new favourite sound from her. "Shall we go home?" Anaís grins, her little tongue poking out as she does so. "Mhm, home time! Venga, Mama, let's go so we can cuddle on the couch."

With another laugh, this time at Alexia's eagerness, you pick up her laptop as well as the Barça flag that had fallen from Anaís' hand at some point, and place them both in the backpack Alexia was wearing. With Alexia holding Anaís, you go to grab her suitcase but she gets there before you.

"I have it, mamacita." Alexia smirks as she says it, and you roll your eyes and start walking. "Hm, hola to you too. I missed you also, by the way."

"Come on, my favourite groveller. Let's get dribbles here back home, she needs a nap soon."

Before she knows it, Alexia is dead to the world asleep with her head on your lap as you comb through her hair delicately and Anaís sleeps on her chest. It was a sight you had missed more than you realised, and you of course had to pull your phone out and document it. For Alexia, there was truly nothing better than being at home.

In a baby's first year of life, first-times and milestones come thick and fast. Foremost is the first feed, the first diaper change, the first sleep. Changes in both their behaviour and their appearance happen so quick, it's hard to keep up. Those initial milestones may be seen as minor, if you look past the sentimentality to them, because when the 'proper' developments start happening, that's when it gets special but utterly hectic.

Three major things seem to happen at once for Anaís. Two of them are fine, amazing actually, as they're the first step of leaving infancy: sleeping in her own room and starting to be introduced to solid food. But it's the third one that catches Alexia completely off-guard, something that happens out of the blue, and it has the Spaniard panicking like nothing else.

One moment, she's changing Anaís' diaper, the next minute, her child has vanished.

You were elsewhere in the house, probably using the valuable alone time to be productive with house chores, so you were none the wiser. Alexia had turned away for hardly a second, but Anaís was long gone.

How, one may ask?

Well, the little girl just decided to up and crawl away on her own accord.

To be honest, she didn't get very far, and neither did Alexia's panic last too long because only a few seconds later did she hear the familiar grunts of her daughter and the quiet slaps of her hands against the wooden panels of the lounge floor.

So when Alexia got up and walked towards the sound, there Anaís was, casually crawling around like it was nothing.

"Dios mío, Anaís, you scared me!" Alexia sighs, relieved, as she picks her up and puts her on her hip. "Eres tan descarada, pequeña. Honestly."

Then Alexia turned, leaving the room and wandering upstairs to find you. Anaís' nursery was empty, nor were there any sounds of life coming from any of the other rooms, so she knocked lightly on your shared bedroom door before walking in. She let out a short burst of laughter when you scrambled up off the bed, slightly embarrassed at being caught laying unproductively in bed on your phone.

"What is it?" You blurted out, cheeks a little red.

"Amor, we have a problem." Alexia sighed dramatically, worrying you slightly.

"Okay, are you going to tell me, or..?" You asked, stepping closer and smiling at the dribbling baby in Alexia's arms. She greeted you with her now toothy grin, almost like she knew the chaos she was soon to cause.

"You will never guess what just happened." Alexia laughed, as did Anaís, consequently making you laugh too.

"Tell me then!"

"I was changing her, and I looked away for one second to bag up the dirty diaper, and she was gone. She crawled away, amor. So quick." Your jaw falls in shock, eyes flicking between Alexia's slightly fearful face and Anaís' blissfully unaware one.

"You're joking." Alexia shakes her head.

"No. We have a little explorer on our hands now. We will have to tape our eyes open, otherwise we could blink and she will be gone."

You stay frozen for a little longer, eyes wide and mouth agasp, before your body deflates and you slap your palm against your forehead with a deep groan.

"Welcome to the start of toddler life, amor!"

The chaos of having a small child that now possessed many worrisome abilities wasn't all bad, because after all, there were still many moments that continuously proved everything that parenthood involved was 100% worth it.

Any challenges or difficulties that life threw at you and Alexia were almost always temporarily forgotten whenever Anaís was around. That was the best thing about having a child; they are so young and innocent and cheerful, it's hard to feel down for too long when they're giggling in your face or squealing at nothing or even just sleeping in your arms.

That's where Alexia found herself today.

Even with her newfound confidence and willpower for football, sometimes that all slipped out from underneath her feet. That was the case with the game she'd just arrived home from. Anaís had had a small sleep regression recently, causing the both of you to be up and down constantly all night. Ultimately it took its toll on the both of you, but with you still on maternity leave whilst Alexia travelled around Spain and Europe for match after match, she was inexplicably exhausted.

Everything had caught up with her it seemed, because no matter how hard she tried and how frustrated she got, nothing went her way in the game. So much so that she was taken off at the 60 minute mark due to her performance, something that hadn't happened to her in... well, she couldn't remember.

The only positive from the day was the fact it was a home game, meaning she'd be able to crawl into bed and hide from the world for sometime with her little family. She wouldn't be lying if she said she had never desired anything more.

When she got back to the house, you were in the kitchen having just eaten a late dinner as Anaís was lay in her mobile swing, the saving grace to her sleeping issues as it seemed to be the only thing to get her off to sleep at night now. There was a plate of food waiting in the microwave for Alexia, but her appetite was completely gone at this point.

"Hola." She whispered when she walked into the room.

"Ale." You smiled sadly at her broken demeanour, immediately opening your arms. With a slight hesitation, she comes over and allows herself to let go in your embrace, and the tension you feel under your arms tells you everything you need to know about her current state of mind. "I know you're probably frustrated with yourself about today, but I want you to know I'm still proud of you. For everything, absolutely everything."

"W... Why?" Alexia mumbles insecurely.

With a frown, you lean back slightly and bring up both hands to rest on her cheeks. She doesn't meet your eyes until you raise her chin up a little, and it opens up a world of emotional complexity.

"Why am I proud of you?" You repeat and Alexia nods. "Because you are playing football at the highest standard in Europe and achieving so much, whilst also being the best Mami for our little girl. That's hard, Alexia, two very difficult things to juggle at once and you just do it. I can't ask anymore from you. That is why I'm proud of you."

She makes a noise of uncertainty, almost like she can't believe you'd say such a thing. At that, you sigh and urge her to bury her face back into your neck, to which she does so instantly. One of her hands comes up to clutch at the back of your neck as the other wraps tightly around the small of your back, and you let her stay like that for as long as she needs.

Some time passed before she decided to pull back, to which she rested her temple against yours for a few seconds until she looked down at you.

"Thank you." Alexia breathes out, turning slightly to look at where Anaís was fast asleep in her swing. "I... I know she is asleep, but can I pick her up? Please?" You pull a face at the question, wondering why she's asking to pick up her own daughter, but Alexia interprets it differently. "I just need to hold her, amor. If I wake her up, it's my fault and I-"

"No, Ale, of course you can pick her up. Of course you can." You tell her, and she moves instantly.

This version of Alexia you unfortunately knew too well. Even as a senior, veteran player, her whole self-worth completely crumbled whenever she gave a poor performance in a game. It was something about her that would probably never change, so you had grown accustomed to it over time. And tonight was one of those especially bad occasions, but it's the first time it had happened since Anaís had come into your lives, so you were sure that the little girl's presence was involved in the buildup to Alexia's current mindset, but she could also be the exact solution the Spaniard needed.

With your worries for your partner in the back of your mind, you watched as Alexia delicately unclasped the buckle keeping Anaís secure before picking her up.

"Shh, mi nena, sólo soy yo, tu Mami." She quietly soothed her, one hand holding Anaís up against her shoulder as the other rubs comfortingly across her back. The little girl immediately turns her face into Alexia's neck, mewling at the disruption before she soon settled again. "Te quiero mucho, preciosa."

"Why don't you go through to the lounge and I'll heat up your dinner for you?" You suggest, watching as Alexia nods wordlessly and leaves the room.

Seeing her like this, it's unexplainably difficult. You know there is not much you can say that'll make a difference to how she feels right now, it's something Alexia has to work through on her own, a classic case of time heals all, but that acknowledgement doesn't soften the blow at all. However, you hope that spending time with you and Anaís will make her feel a little better before the night is over.

You get a hint of that when you walk into the lounge a few minutes later; Alexia is sat stiffly upright against the sofa, the uncomfortable position of her contrasted by her closed eyes as Anaís lay across her shoulder. Alexia had her face turned to the side into Anaís, and under the dim light of the room, lit up only by a lamp in the corner, you notice a stream of tears running down her cheek.

Wasting no time, you put the plate you were holding down onto the coffee table before sitting down beside them both. Careful not to disrupt the peace either of them had created, you wrap an arm around Alexia's shoulders and press a gentle kiss to her jaw. The midfielder shifts slightly so that she's leaning against you, keeping Anaís in place as you raise a hand to brush her tears away.

"Okay?" You whisper, resting your head against hers.

"Mhm." Her voice cracks slightly even as she hums, so you hug her a little tighter.

All three of you settle into silence, comforted by the sound of Anaís snoring lightly. Nothing needs to be said, nor could you think of anything, so you allow Alexia this moment to decompress from the day, wanting nothing more than for her to feel better. It doesn't matter to you how she gets there, whether that's by staying on this sofa all night long with you and Anaís, or forgetting to eat her dinner in front of her, whatever it takes you'll let her do. Because you think the world of her, and when she's feeling down, it offsets everything around you.

Until, some time later, Alexia breaks the silence with a sentiment that causes you to tear up too.

"I wish I could stay here forever."

She spoke so quietly, you would have missed it if you weren't waiting for it.

"Here, with you and with Anaís. Nobody watching us, no one asking anything from us. Just us three." It was clear from the tone of her voice that she's getting a bit teary again, and it tugs at every one of your heart strings. "Nothing can match this. I never want to do anything else again."

"Ale." You sigh shakily, suppressing cries of your own as her shoulders shake with silent sobs.

In her mind, she had to be completely silent, because if she woke up Anaís now, you don't even want to think about what her mind would tell her. It would be lethal. She couldn't handle failing at another thing, couldn't handle disappointing the two people she loved most.

"Go put her to bed before I wake her."

"Are you sure?" She nodded and shifted away from you.

"Don't want to wake her up."

With that, you stand up and watch Alexia place a final kiss to Anaís' forehead before she gives her to you. You move as quickly as possible without waking your daughter up, delicately placing her down in the crib in her room and grimacing as you do so in case she wakes up with a cry, but the universe must be on your side today because she stays asleep. A relieved sigh escapes you as you flick on the baby monitor, grabbing one of them and leaving the room. Heading back downstairs, you cautiously make your way back to the living room, not really sure what sight you'll walk into.

What you see is equally as heartbreaking as every time you'd looked at Alexia this evening.

She's seated in the same position as before, but this time her head is thrown back against the cushions of the sofa, and her face is completely stoic and devoid of emotion. The exception that gave her away were the stuttered breaths coming from her and the damp lines down her cheeks.

You join her again, wrapping both arms around her this time and pulling her fully into you. One of her hands comes up to grip your upper arm as she cries a little harder into your shoulder.

"We both love you, Alexia, so much. Please don't forget that." You remind her, stroking up and down her back as you embrace her. "You're more than good enough for us, no matter what your mind is telling you."

That seems to hit a sensitive point for her, because she only sobs harder into you. The only thing you can do now is be there for her, so you decide against speaking anymore to wait for her outburst of emotions to simmer down.

It takes longer than you expect, but eventually it does happen, and she falls quiet again whilst slumped against you. Casting your mind back through the years with her, you can't recall a time seeing Alexia as distraught as she was tonight. So, at that revelation, you gently urge her head back up from your shoulder and properly look at her. With your hands on either one of her cheeks, you lean in to press the softest kiss of mankind onto her forehead. It pulls more tears out of her, the tenderness of it, but her shoulders aren't wracking with sobs and her breathing is almost entirely normal.

"What's going on?" You question, gazing up into her normally piercing eyes, but tonight they were half-lidded and filled with defeat.

"No sé." She rasped. Her mind is way too convoluted to unravel everything going on at the moment, so she finds the words to say and pieces them together. "Not tonight. Please."

"Okay, that's okay. We don't have to." You reassure her, and you can see the relief flood her as her body deflates. "Can I talk though? I have some things to say."

"Sí." She shrugged, taking one of your hands with both of hers and fiddling with the rings you wore.

"Hey, you gotta look at me." You demand softly, tilting her chin up. You meet her eyes and smile a little, an act that rids her mind of one of the dark clouds over her. "I don't care how soppy and cliché this is, but meeting you is the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Alexia chuckles at that, something she's done thousands of times in front of you, but this one perhaps means the most.

"That is cliché." She comments, grinning half-heartedly when you roll your eyes.

"I already said it was, you can't claim that one. Let me finish." You push her shoulder lightly before composing yourself again. "You are the only person I want, Ale, and you mean so much to me. I can't even put it into words, so that's all you're getting for that part."

She laughs again, this time a little more tearfully as your loving words are fighting off all her doubts.

"To Anaís and I, it doesn't matter how many goals you get in a game or how many trophies you get in a season. I just want my Ale to be happy, and Anaís just wants her Mami to be happy. We will love you no matter what, and I'll be here as I am now to remind you, and Anaís will remind you the next time she's sick from you making her laugh." Alexia shakes her head at the reminder of an incident she had certainly learnt her lesson from a few months ago, the pair of you laughing quietly about it again. "You've seen the way Anaís looks at you. She's infatuated with you, Ale. And it's possibly my favourite thing in the world."

She sniffles a few times but nevertheless nods when you finish talking, feeling indefinitely better than she did when she got home. Raising your hand, she lightly kisses your ring finger before leaning forward to envelope you in a tight hug. It's an embrace that conveys all the words she can't verbalise right now, something you instantly understand as you know the woman in your arms better than she knows herself at this point.

"You're all we both will ever need. You just need to remember that more often."

There was a conversation that you and Alexia had had during the time you were trying to get pregnant, one that all same-sex couples most likely have at that stage. But it was resolved fairly quickly, and that was that you would be Mama and Alexia would be Mami. Ever since then, you and Alexia had endlessly teased and bantered each other about what Anaís would say first out of the two options.

What you weren't expecting though, was Alexia's reaction when Anaís eventually did say her first word.

Anaís bellowed her first word at you one random morning when you walked into her room where she sat waiting for her parents in her crib. Alexia was a few steps behind where you froze in place, overcome with about every emotion one could name at the fact Anaís had not only spoken, but said Mama too.

Alexia's excitement kicked in immediately, so she skipped over to Anaís' crib and picked her up, holding her in the air and grinning up at her.

"What did you just say, chiqui? Did you say... Mama?"

"Mama!" Anaís squealed loudly, giggling when Alexia rewarded her with a barrage of kisses.

You were still stuck in place, the only difference was that there were now tears of joy dripping onto the carpet by your feet. Alexia turned with your daughter in her arms, laughing when she brought her over to you.

"Hola, Mama! Let's wipe these tears, right Anaís?" She takes one of Anaís' hands and uses it to brush the tears off of your face. "Say the magic word, nena! Mama!"

"Mamaaaa." She shouts and to add to the sentiment of the moment, she points right at you as she says it, indicating that she does actually know what she's saying.

"Yes, well done! Oh, we are so proud of you, chiqui, aren't we?" You nod and cover your face with your hands, curling into Alexia's side. It's a struggle for her to hug you whilst also holding a wiggly Anaís who is always giddy in the morning, but she makes it work. "Sí, we are, Anaís. Mama, are you okay?"

"Yes, yes, perfect. I just can't believe she said it." You sniffle, removing your hands from your face but staying at Alexia's side.

Anaís grins as you reach out to cup her cheek, turning her head to blow raspberries against your hand. The three of you laugh together, you and Alexia forever enraptured by every display of Anaís' ever growing personality.

"I always knew she would say Mama first and I'm so glad she did." Alexia admits, chuckling at the confused face you pull.

"Why?" You wonder, leaning forward to kiss the tip of Anaís' nose.

"Because you deserve it. You did all the hard work with her, being pregnant and then giving birth like a campeona, and you do a great job being her Mama. It was only right for her to say it first."

You had no idea she felt such a way about the situation, and it only caused you to get emotional again. It wasn't that Alexia never voiced her gratitude towards you, she did it daily, it's just that hearing her speak so highly of you as a parent meant far more to you than you could ever voice.

"Thank you, Ale. That's unbelievably sweet of you to say." You giggle, thumbing away a few tears and leaning your head against her shoulder.

"Buena, it's the truth. Oye, Anaís?" Alexia calls back Anaís' attention, smirking when her daughter looks up at her. She raises her eyebrows expectantly, waiting for her to say the inevitable. "Ma..."

"Mama!" Anaís grins at you again, jerking forwards towards you.

"Woah!" You catch her, holding her tight against you in a loving hug. "You are crazy, Anaís."

The little girl seems surprisingly outraged at that as starts to babble away unabashedly in your arms, her hands gesturing wildly as she did so, a trait she'd clearly picked up from her Mami. You giggle at her unintelligible ramble, blushing when Alexia randomly places an affectionate kiss on your cheek.

"Loca como su Mama, amor!" Alexia comments with a poke at Anaís' leg. "She even loves chattering away like you."

"Sí, nuestra paralanchina pequeña."

You tickle Anaís' tummy, interrupting her ramble. She turns to you with an angry face that is scarily similar to Alexia's, and the pair of you have to stifle your laughter at the sight of it out of fear of whatever terrible consequences she'd release upon you both.

"Enojada como su Mama también." Alexia mutters.

It's your turn to fix her with a warning glance. She instantly backs down with her hands up in surrender, stepping away from the fury running through the veins of her two favourite girls.

"Mama?" Anaís turns back to you with a questioning glance, and you take advantage of that.

"Sí, Anaís, Mami needs to run away right now, doesn't she?" You smile politely at your daughter, one she returns, before you both look back to Alexia with those menacing grins. A second passes before she sprints out the room. Anaís laughs and you chuckle too, walking out of the room in a much calmer fashion.

If there was one thing you'd learnt about parenting so far, it was that you should never take things for granted. There's a seemingly infinite number of firsts in a person's life and being there to witness them all as a parent was an experience that couldn't be conformed to a few measly adjectives. Sure, you would hear Anaís say 'Mama' countless times in your life, but you wouldn't ever get to hear it for the first time again. Sometimes, when you thought about that, you were consumed by sorrow, but that was part and parcel of parenthood. No matter how harrowing it was, you had no choice but to accept it.

The thing that easily made up for it was spending the rest of your life as a parent to Anaís, and in the grand scheme of things, that was the biggest privilege you could ever have.

Not so long after the beautiful experience that was Anaís' saying her first word, she turned a whole year old. One year of having a little plus one with you everywhere you went, one year of seeing the woman you love grow into an amazing parent, one whole year of nothing but the absolute best memories you've ever had the honour experiencing. To say it had been the best twelve months of your life was a complete understatement.

Obviously due to your work and Alexia's games, you had a very low-key day between yourselves on her actual birthday, and 'day' was a generous word. It was more of a frantic celebration because of course Anaís chose her birthday to be the day she had her first ever lie-in. When she finally woke up, it meant you only had less than an hour to spend as a family before Alexia had to leave for training which doubled into media day that she couldn't avoid. Fortunately, the team had organised it so that she was first so she could get home as soon as possible, but she had still grumbled about it everyday since it was arranged.

The short hour was enjoyable nevertheless, if not a little emotional, and you practically had to push Alexia out of the door so that she wasn't late. You understood her defiance, knowing that if you were in her shoes you would be wrecked at having to be away from Anaís on her birthday, but it was only for a few hours and that was enough persuasion for her to go.

When she did return, she hardly let Anaís out of her sight. That was until her closest family and childhood friends came over for a calm dinner to celebrate your daughter. It was turning out that Anaís was quite the social butterfly, so she was happy to be passed around all evening to the ones you and Alexia loved most. The day completely exhausted her though, and that night you and Alexia spent far longer than normal stood over her where she slept in her crib.

The midfielder was behind you with her arms around your torso, her chin on your shoulder as you both gazed at your daughter's sleeping form. This time a year ago, you were in a hospital bed with a tiny, wrinkly baby in your arms as Alexia lay beside you. Now, a year on, that little newborn had completely grown into her own and was fast on her way to walking. It was a bittersweet contrast for sure, but you were well adjusted to how fast time moves and how to accept things, so it didn't plague you in the same way things had in the past.

To Alexia, not that she had made you aware yet, this day wasn't just about Anaís, but you too. Because a year ago today, she had graced her eyes upon the greatest wonder in the world, and that was all down to you. You, who had gone through agonising pain for much longer than just the time you were in labour, and managed to deliver her daughter perfectly healthy. Never would she take that for granted, and she had a little trick up her sleeve to make sure you knew that.

"Amor, come to the lounge with me." She whispered, pairing it with a kiss to your bare shoulder beside your vest strap.

After a last moment of admiration, you nodded and allowed her to lead you to the living room, your hand in hers as you trailed after her. When you got there, she urged you to sit right in the middle of the sofa in front of the TV before she walked off to grab her laptop. She came back in a few moments later and turned the TV on, then mirroring her laptop screen to show up on the bigger screen. You watched it all with a curious frown, none the wiser to what you were about to see.

"I wanted to make something for us to remember the past year by." Alexia said, pausing as she searched for the right file. "It is also a gift from me to you because we should celebrate you too today. You gave birth to our little girl, and that is no easy feat. So this is just a small way for me to express my gratitude to you since words will never do you justice."

You'd be lying if you said your heart wasn't beating about a hundred miles an hour by now. Alexia hadn't even shown you what she had organised yet, but you had an inkling that in a few moment's time you would be emotionally ruined.

Alexia pressed play on the video she had pulled up and came to sit beside you. Before the first image had even come on, it was still just a black screen, you scrambled to find her hand and clutched it tightly in your lap.

In the next couple minutes, numerous photos and videos of your little family of three were displayed on the screen, a compilation of all the best documented moments captured within the last year. Some of them were taken by you obviously, but the larger majority of them were from Alexia's point of view and you had a sneaky feeling that was the point of it. A lot of the things in the montage you hadn't even seen, like the video of you singing a Spanish nursery rhyme to Anaís one night when she was still a newborn, or the picture of you fast asleep with Anaís on your chest with two fistfuls of your t-shirt, and way more of the same value that had you crying almost instantly.

Next to you, Alexia had a pensive look on her face, anxious as to what your thoughts were. Obviously she noticed you were crying, but she stayed unmoving until the video ended and you reacted first.

And due to a lack of better words in the moment, you accidentally give Alexia a momentary heart attack...

"Alexia, what the hell?" You cried, one hand over your eyes. The Spaniard froze beside you because out of all the thing she expected you to say, that was not one of them.

"Did you not like it?" She asked in an insecure voice, to which you turned to her in shock.

"No, I loved it, Ale." You told her, and she left out perhaps the biggest sigh of relief you had ever seen someone do. "Why did you do it though?"

"Because I just appreciate you so much, amor, and I need you to know that. Seeing you and watching you with Anaís is a magical thing to witness and I wanted you to see it through my eyes. It is the greatest honour of my life, being able to love you both. The second greatest honour is being alive to witness you with her." She explained earnestly, her free hand that wasn't held by yours coming to cradle your face. You leaned into it immediately, the image of you with your head tilted to the side with a soft pout and tears on your cheeks drove Alexia crazy. "Look at you! I can't get enough of you, you make me go crazy."

With a wet laugh, you raised a hand up to rest on the back of hers on your face and turned to kiss her palm.

"You drive me crazy with your grand gestures like you just did! You need to tell me who made that for you so that I can get them to do one for your Christmas present." You say, Alexia chuckling and shaking her head.

She manoeuvres you so that you're sat on her lap with your back to her chest, and she hugs you tighter than ever like that.

"You see what I see now?" She murmurs into your ear, and you're unsure if the hand that settles over your stomach is a subtle hint.

"What's that?" You wonder innocently, leaning your head back to rest against her shoulder. With you like that, she turns to place a few gentle kisses to the new skin on show.

"I see the most incredible, beautiful, and caring Mami in the world. One that loves so whole-heartedly, you leave an imprint on everyone you come across. When I first met you and I fell victim to that effect, I knew I had to have you. But I had no idea quite the impact you would have on my life. I find myself doing the stupidest things in the world just so I hear two people laugh." She huffs, grinning when she hears you giggle. "I also find myself loving the two most amazing people on the planet. These two people happen to love me too, and I have to think of myself as the luckiest person in the world to say that. My fortune far precedes my most ambitious dreams, because with you and Anaís in my life, what more could I want?"

Oh, what a fool you would be to deny her of that.

Later that same summer came the World Cup, and this time around it was held in Brazil. If it wasn't for Anaís, you would have of course tried to get over there for at least one of Alexia's games. But that would be too challenging and complicated to do with a one year old, so Alexia didn't even blink twice when you fearfully brought up that fact to her on one of the last nights you would spend with her before the summer turn of games started.

Before Alexia left though, you had a small present in store for her. The morning of the day she would be leaving, you were adamant at being the one to dress Anaís because there was a vital piece of her outfit that she needed to wear.

That key item was a Spain jersey of course, with Mami 11 printed on the back. So when you walked into the kitchen where Alexia ate her breakfast, she gave you a funny look at the weird way you were carrying Anaís. But that look was wiped off her face when you place Anaís on the ground for her to walk over to Alexia. The midfielder's jaw dropped as she noticed her daughter's shirt, but it wasn't until she spotted the detail on the back that she was overcome with emotion.

"Amor, you did this?" Alexia asked, abandoning her breakfast as she crouched down and held her arms out for a wobbly Anaís to wander over to her.

"I did." You replied proudly, watching as Alexia hugged her daughter tightly before turning her around so she could get a good look at her jersey.

"Dios mío, pingüino. Look at you." Alexia whispers in amazement, then she picks up Anaís and walks over for a family hug. "Thank you, thank you. That's amazing."

And of course, for every one of Spain's matches that tournament, you and Anaís were watching with your jerseys on in full support for Alexia. Before each game, you would take a photo of you both and send it to Alexia, which she told you was what empowered her to walk out onto the pitch for every game. You and your daughter missed Alexia of course, but it was much harder for her since she was halfway across the world from her family.

It was that much harder when her team were knocked out of the tournament in the semi-finals.

...But, when she arrived back to her hotel room later that night after that dreadful game, she sensed a spark of her excitement in her chest, because the loss meant she could come home. It meant she could finally see you and Anaís after what felt like a lifetime apart, and she focused all of her energy on that eagerness she felt instead of the effects of the defeat.

And the reunion was so worth it, because this time you and Anaís did greet her with a sign at the airpot this time, and the Spaniard all but collapsed into the arms of you both when she saw you.

You thought the biggest shock of your summer would be Spain getting knocked out in the semi-finals, but unbeknownst to you, there was a whole other storm coming.

After the World Cup, Alexia whisked you and Anaís away on a holiday to escape from the world and spend time together as a family without the pressures of life. But when you were lounging on one of the outdoor beds on the balcony of your hotel room one day of the holiday, you heard a statement you were not expecting.

"I'm going to retire from the national team."

Alexia was wandering aimlessly around the balcony, trying to bounce Anaís to sleep for her mid-day nap when she had said it.

"What?" You sat up and raised your sunglasses to look at her properly, wondering if you there was a chance you had heat stroke and may had hallucinated it.

"I said I am retiring from the national team." She repeated nonchalantly, as if she hadn't just revealed huge news.

"I'm not quite sure we're on the same page, Ale. Could you explain a little?"

With a chuckle, Alexia tugs Anaís' hat further down so that it blocks the sun from her eyes when Alexia sits on the edge of your sun bed.

"I have decided to step down from the national team, for good. I have much more interesting things to do with my time now." She shrugged, glancing down at her daughter. "When we get back from vacation, I have a meeting with the federation to tell them. Nobody knows, it's a decision I made for myself."

"Are you sure?" You're a bit speechless, caught off guard by the sudden admission.

"Very sure. I'm certain that this is what I want to do. I'm content with everything I've achieved for the team, so now is my time. I'm not ready to retire fully, that's a while off yet, but I don't want to spend so long away from you both again. It's just not worth it. I'm not missing that much of Anaís' life again." Alexia explains.

You take a moment to process the sudden declaration, before you lean forward to wrap an arm around her and hugging her carefully, mindful of Anaís in between you both.

"Well, I guess that's that. As long as you're sure, Ale, then there's not much to say. I'm grateful you've made that decision, who would I be to get upset at the fact we're going to have more time together?" You say, noticing the relieved smile on her face. "You don't want to, I don't know, discuss it a bit more? With anyone, doesn't have to be me. I just don't want you to regret it."

"No, I'm completely okay with it, amor. I think I had already made this decision before Brazil. It was something I needed to figure out on my own, and I have had long enough to process it and now I'm fine with it. I think I am actually excited."

Now that she mentions it, she does have a lighter look in her eyes, like this is a weight off of her shoulders. She had come back from the tournament with that look, and it irritated you that you couldn't figure it out at first, but now you completely understood it. You smile at her, filled from head to toe with pride and love for the woman in front of you, and you lean forward to kiss her softly.

"I'm happy to hear that." You whisper, and she can't help but lean back for more.

One more thing about parenthood to add to the list, was that children had the worst timing in the world.

"Oh no. Ay dios. I'm sorry, amor, I would really love to continue this but I need to go change her diaper right now."

Before you could open your eyes, Alexia was scurrying off into the hotel room, and you didn't even want to know what had just happened.

There soon came to be a very special occasion for Alexia, one she had been dreaming of for as long as she could remember. For some time now, you and Alexia had had multiple discussions about when Anaís would go to her first game, and finally the pair of you had landed on an option.

Barcelona were due to play in the final of the Super Cup in Madrid, and you, Anaís, and other members of Alexia's family were travelling to attend the game. You were beyond excited for it; since Anaís had come into your life, you had hardly been to many of Alexia's games, something you adored doing before you had a child to care for.

Alexia, on the other hand, was encumbered by nerves as she lined up in the tunnel for the game. She can't remember the last time she had been nervous for a match, so she didn't really know what to do with herself. For the few minutes she was in the tunnel, her mind was almost in overdrive - would Anaís be okay? You and her family were there for her, she had to be. Would she kick up a fuss? She was still only young after all. Would she hate the amount of people there and the noise of it all? Well, that one couldn't be possible because Alexia had bought some baby ear defenders that she demanded you pack, so at least there was one surefire solution. She couldn't spiral for any longer though because Cata shoved her from behind when the captain didn't move.

The game went off without a hitch, and when Alexia did her pre-match tradition as she hopped onto the pitch, her mind clicked into concentration. That didn't stop her from glancing up at the section of the stadium she knew her family was in though, desperate to catch a glimpse of her daughter. She finally did spot you both as she was walking off the pitch at half-time, almost melting on the spot when she saw you holding Anaís who of course wore a Barcelona jersey on top of her jumper so that she stayed warm. With an eager wave, she admired the view for a bit longer, before jogging off to the tunnel.

She was glad to find that her nerves didn't affect her performance, bagging two assists to help the team win 3-1. It was a great match to watch as a fan, and you were thrilled for Alexia and her team, and the cherry on the cake was the fact that Anaís had been no trouble at all throughout it. For about twenty minutes of the first half, she fell asleep, but was startled awake by the crowd (and you) when Barcelona scored their first goal. Since then, she had been wide awake, and as good as gold.

From your place in the stands, you watched on with pride as the trophy ceremony carried out, forever happy to see Alexia with a medal around her neck and a trophy in her arms.

But perhaps the most exciting moment of the day for Alexia was when you walked out of the tunnel a little while later with Anaís in your arms. Alexia ran over as soon as she spotted you, knowing this was the plan all along if Anaís had coped well. She laughed giddily as she approached you and wrapped you both up in a tight hug, flooded with pure happiness.

"Well done, Mami!" You grin, patting her cheek a few times before offering Anaís out to her.

"Mami!" Anaís shouted in Alexia's face, before her attention inevitably falls to the shiny metal hanging from her neck, She tries to pick it up, but it's a little heavy for her, meaning it thumps Alexia heavily in the chest.

"Oof, Anaís." Alexia huffs, taking off her medal and putting it around your neck instead.

"Ale." You roll your eyes, cheeks slightly red, and when you try to take it off her hand reaches out to stop it.

"Leave it, amor." She smirks, kissing you quickly as you go to argue again. Leaving you a tad flustered, she turns back to her daughter. "Oye, Anaís! What's that?"

The midfielder points to one of the footballs off at the side of the pitch, and Anaís' face immediately lights up.

"Ball!" She grins, reaching a grabby hand out towards it.

"You want to play?" Alexia wonders, going over to collect the ball and walking it further onto the field before placing Anaís down in front of it. "Kick it, chiqui!"

Rather unceremoniously, Anaís does kick it but not without falling afterwards. You laugh as she tumbles down, Alexia rushing over and doting on her.

"Ale, she'll be okay, don't stress her out." You tell her, to which she nods and rights her daughter again before coming back to your side. "She doesn't quite have your elegance yet."

"I know." Alexia snickers, and the pair of you follow to wherever Anaís toddles off to. "Look at her go though. Not really a waddling little pingüino anymore."

The nickname, 'pingüino', had come about back when Anaís took her first steps just after she turned a year old, and it had stuck since then.

"No, she isn't." You hum in agreement, throwing an arm around Alexia's waist as you continue trailing after your little girl. "Uh oh."

There wasn't any real danger when you uttered that, it was just Mapi.

"Hola nena! Wow, look at you!" Mapi ran over to her and swooped her up off the ground. "What name do you have on your back... oh, boo! Boring! I think you should have my name, sí Ale?"

"Over my dead body." Alexia grumbled, elbowing you when you laughed at her grumpiness. "That is an emergency shirt, we didn't have time for a name because we didn't realise her other one was too small for her jumper."

"Blah, blah, blah... no wonder you are always sleepy, Anaís, her talking is tiring me too!" Mapi teased, wincing dramatically at the disapproving huff Alexia gives. "Oh no, nena. We need to run. Let's go play before Mami kills me, huh?"

You shake your head at Mapi's antics and watch as she steals your daughter away to play football with her. Alexia has a subtle smile on her face, and you giggle quietly when you see it, knowing she's trying to act like the captain she is but can't resist the cuteness of her daughter.

"Cálmate, Capi." You bump your hip into hers, smirking when she looks down at you with a suppressed grin. Now you take the medal off and place it back around her neck, silencing her complaints in the same way she did to you earlier. "You have too many medals and trophies now, campeona, I'm not sure our house can stand the extra weight."

"Behave." Alexia muttered lovingly, pulling you in for a proper hug. "Thank you for coming, and thank you for bringing her too."

"Of course. I loved being at a game again, and Anaís handled it perfectly. She had a little nap in the first half but stayed awake for the rest of it."

"Really?" Alexia said, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise as her face contorted to one of shy excitement, an adorable sight to see.

"Yes, she did. She didn't cry once, she was very settled." Alexia nodded and casted her eyes back over to Anaís. "Told you she would love going to your games."

At that, she finally lets herself break out into a whole-hearted grin, and she hugs you tight to her side as you watch Mapi and a few others dote over Anaís.

"I need her at every game. She is my good luck charm." She mumbles, swallowing down the lump in her throat. "Mapi is going to injure our mija."

She wasn't exactly wrong on that part; Mapi had started passing the ball softly to Anaís and urging her to kick it, to which she did but not without falling over again. The defender can't help herself: she passes Anaís the ball over and over, and Anaís tumbles down each time. Mapi would burst out laughing, before helping Anaís up and giving her the ball once more. Luckily Anaís saw the humour in it too, giggling almost just as much as Mapi.

Alexia let it happen once more before marching over. You were a little out of earshot, but you saw Alexia pick Anaís up from the floor and brush off the grass from her clothes, then she turned to Mapi with an accusing point and most likely the sternest voice she could muster. From your viewpoint, you could tell Mapi was stifling yet more laughter, but she kept up the innocent act in front of her friend. And when Alexia turned away from her with a shake of her head, Mapi looked over at you with a huge grin that you matched, letting her know she wasn't actually in trouble like Alexia tried to establish.

"That woman is the bane of my life." Alexia complained when she came back over to you, a slightly damp and grassy child in her arms.

"Mm, you love her really." You retaliate, flicking a blade of grass off of Anaís' arm.

"So what." Alexia huffed, cradling Anaís closely to her chest and swaying a little. "Oh, dios. She's so grown up."

"I know." You pout at the sight of Anaís in her arms, now calm and a bit tired. "Already kicking a ball about."

"We must buy her some football boots soon." You shake your head and laugh.

"She's not even two years old yet."

"Doesn't matter, amor. Project Putellas starts now."

The night before Anaís' second birthday was a turning point to remember; you and Alexia, in the spur of the moment, agreed on having another child in the very near future. When she initiated the decision, you hadn't even hesitated to affirm your willingness to her. It was an easy choice for you because both of you had always wanted two children, but in the past two years the topic of making that happen had hardly been brought up. You knew the time would come, and now it was here.

For the rest of the time you spent preparing the cake for it to go in the oven, the pair of you revelled in the coy anticipation that lingered in the air. Separately, your minds were running wild with the limitless possibilities that could occur in the next few years, until you stood up from placing the tray in the oven and Alexia was there, gazing at you with the softest smile she could muster.

"Another baby, huh?" She commented quietly, taking hold of your hand.

"Apparently so." You matched her smile, both of you watching the other before Alexia pulled you in for a tight hug. "You sure?"

"Amor, que pregunta tan estupida." She said bluntly, making you laugh. "I have never been so sure of a decision before. I believe now is the time for us to have another, as long as you are sure."

"Oh, what a stupid thing to say." You teased her, grinning when she grumbled and lightly hit your waist. "I'm more than ready to have another."

"Hm, good." She smirks, and her hands travel a little lower on your back. "We can go try if you'd like?"

"Really?" You scoffed, swatting her hands away and stepping out of her grasp. "Come on. Help me make this icing. And don't make any inappropriate suggestions."

From that day on, the pair of you delve yourselves into the process of IVF again. After last time, you both were more than happy with it all and how the process goes, so you chose the reciprocal type again and were there for each other through it all once again. It was a little trickier trying to do injections with an investigative toddler who wanted to be involved with it too, never straying far from you two, but you made it work.

However, not all things can go to plan. Perhaps the first time with Anaís had been too good to be true, because conceiving this time was much more difficult.

Over and over, yours and Alexia's emotions were tugged from left to right, one day on cloud nine and other days plunged into the deepest melancholia. It was a ruthless and relentless cycle of hope, anticipation, disappointment and frustration. Your self-worth took a gut-wrenching blow each time, your mind overgrown with blame and guilt and inadequacy. But, as someone wise beyond their years once said, your fortune far preceded your hopes because each and everytime Alexia and Anaís were there to pull you back up out of your pit of darkness.

"Amor." Alexia whispered gently one morning, sitting beside where you lay in bed and placing Anaís in her lap. "Wake up, mija, it is a big day, we need y-"

"Mama! Up, now!" Anaís shouted, pushing against your shoulder.

"Anaís, no! That is not nice, I told you to be gentle. Gentle, sí?" Alexia scolds quietly, about to warn Anaís again when you rolled over with a tight-lipped smile on your face.

"Morning." You muttered, bracing yourself when you saw Anaís stand in Alexia's lap. "Oof, chiqui, good morning to you too."

"Feliz navidad, mis amores." Alexia said, resting a hand on Anaís' back as a reminder for her to stay calm.

"Christmas, Mama." Anaís grinned down at you, placing two heavy hands on your cheeks, smushing them together, and giving you a quick kiss.

"Mhm, happy Christmas, bebíta." You sat up and gave her a hug that lasted about a millisecond due to her very limited attention span.

"Anaís, why don't you go get your stocking from your room? We will open it in here." She didn't need to be told twice - she leaped off the bed, briefly scaring the life out of you and Alexia, before racing out of the room. Alexia turned to you when she left, looking over you with a watcful eye. "How are you, amor?"

The previous day, cruelly on Christmas Eve, you both had found out that the third IVF attempt had not resulted in a pregnancy. What should have been a day filled with fesitivies and joy and tradition, was instead another day of grieving. After you had gotten home from the appointment, Alexia had quickly dropped Anaís off at Eli's for the afternoon so that her full attention could be on you. Not much was said or done, this had occurred one too many times now for any words to be of gratification. You both just needed time together, away from any other worries, to be able to process it. The healing process wasn't a straightforward one, you didn't magically feel better this morning, but knowing what day it was made it just a tad easier.

"Not bad, but not great. I just don't want to think about it. For one day at least." You answered, and she nodded instantly.

"We can do our best. When that little rocket is around, I think we'll be swept off our feet." Alexia said, glad to hear even just the breath of laughter you give her. "Don't hesitate to tell me if you need a break though. You let me know how you're doing, alright?"

"I will. Thank you, Ale." You told her earnestly, offering a semi-genuine smile to her.

"Te amo mucho, siempre. Siempre, amor." Alexia whispered when she wrapped you up in her arms.

Then Anaís came steaming back in, her Christmas stocking dragging along behind her unceremoniously, and you giggle when Alexia tells her off for it. The little girl sassed back a reply and Alexia can't help but laugh too, helping her lift it onto the bed. Watching your daughter's face light up with every gift she opens and how she hugs you both tightly after every single one, it's hard to be enveloped by the gloom your mind tried to subdue you into. Anaís was the best gift of all, and if a second child wasn't meant to be, you still had this beautiful girl that made you numb to all the problems life threw at you.

In the midst of this ongoing IVF journey came Alexia's birthday, and to distract yourself from the difficulty of the past few months, you had set yourself and Anaís a project to do as a gift. It was a minor token of appreciation for the woman who had been nothing short of perfect throughout it all, forever there to lean on and pick up the pieces when you need her to.

The day had come for you both to show off what you'd done for her, and though you'd already spent the morning at home with Anaís and Alexia, as well as giving her a few other gifts, this was the part you were most looking forward to. And as you pulled up to the Barcelona training facilities where you would see your hard work for the first time before surprising her, it was safe to say you hadn't felt such excitement in a long while.

"So, frecas, are you ready to surprise Mami?" You smile at Anaís through the rearview mirror of your car just as you pull into a parking space.

"Mamiiii!" Anaís sings from her seat, her little feet swinging excitedly.

"Sí, Mami!" You repeat back, turning off the car before hopping out and walking to Anaís' door. "Vale, mi niña pequeña, what do we have to remember whilst we're here?"

"Be nice, hold your hand, and... smile!"

You laugh at that last one, because you and Alexia never have to remind her to smile as it's something she is always doing anyway. The pair of you love to tell her how happy she makes everyone around her with her cheeky smile, and from then she'd taken it upon herself to do it, somehow, even more often.

"Yes, everybody loves it when you smile." You tap her nose lightly, delighted to hear her giggle. "Do you remember how today is going to go?"

"Tell me?" Anaís asks as you help her out of the car.

"Yep, I can tell you." You reply, taking her hand and leading her to the reception. "We're going to be taken to an office where we can finally see the gift you made for Mami. Then we can give it to her, and maybe if you're up for it, we can have lunch with everybody. Are you excited?"

"Mhm." Anaís mutters quietly, indicating she was feeling a little uncertain about something. When you're away from the car park and outside the main doors, you turn to her and crouch to her height.

"What's up, mi chiqui? Is there something bugging you?" You question softly, taking both of her hands and squeezing them.

"Nervous." She admits, shuffling forward in a silent plea for a hug, which you immediately engage in.

"It's okay to be nervous, isn't it? Mami and I get nervous still and we're old." You joke, hearing her giggle slightly into your shoulder. "What's making you nervous?"

"The people." Anaís tells you, to which you nod understandingly.

"That's alright, thank you for telling me. There might be a lot of people today, most of them you will know though. They're all Mami's friends, aren't they?" She nods shyly when you move back to look at her face. "They are. You just stick with me and Mami when we see her, we've got you. Always. And if you don't want to stay for dinner, let me know and we can go home. Okay?"

"Okay." She smiles brightly up at you, an image you wished you could treasure forever, and you lean forward to kiss her forehead.

"Perfecta, mi amor. Venga!" You take her hand again and press the buzzer to be let into the building. "Do you know what Mami says when she gets nervous?"

"Mami asks for your besitos!" Anaís answers with a grin, catching you off guard. The question was more of a rhetorical one, but you had underestimated your daughter's cheekiness.

"Well, she does, but that's not what I was going to say." You laugh, cheeks red, opening the doors when they unlock. "Mami says that most of the time she doesn't need to feel nervous because the thing she was worrying about is never as bad as she thinks. Do you understand?"

"No." Anaís shrugs bluntly, again making you laugh as you lead her into the reception.

"Okay, chiqui, forget I spoke." You say with a light eye roll, the small girl giggling to herself beside you.

Signing both of you in, you make small talk with the receptionist who hands you two name stickers. Anaís was currently in a phase where she just could not get enough of stickers, so you gasp excitedly for her.

"Pegatina?" She looks up at you with a giddy face, politely snatching the sticker from you and putting it in the center of her sweater.

"Sí!" You smile at her excitement, and an idea comes to mind. You turn back to the receptionist with a plan. "Existe alguna posibilidad de que tengas una hoja extra de pegatinas en blanco? Mi chiqui los adora."

"Claro! Aquí tienes." The lady smiles brightly at you and hands over a sheet of blank stickers. She waves at Anaís, who returns the gesture shyly before you turn to her and show off the item in your hand.

"Mirar, Anaís! More stickers!" Your daughter gasps loudly at the surprise, gazing up at you like you'd just given her the best gift in the world.

"Gracias, Mama!" She squeals, moving to hug your leg tightly.

"No problem, mija. You can draw on them at dinner if you'd like." You say, ducking down to kiss the top of her head. "I'll put them away for now, Mami finishes training soon so we need to go."

With Anaís' hand in yours, you lead her through the building and towards the meeting room you had been informed to go through. Nowadays you were more than familiar with your way around the facilities, having been here numerous times, but you can tell Anaís is still a bit apprehensive. And as a result of yours and Alexia's healthy parenting habits, she didn't hesitate to tell you again.

"Mama, I'm scared." She says, tugging on your hand and coming to a standstill outside the office just as you go to open it.

"Scared about what?" You frown, bending down again and brushing a few wisps of her out of her face.

"Mami will not like her gift."

That broke your heart, because you could already picture Alexia's reaction when she saw what Anaís had done for her. You made a bet with Eli and Alba that she would cry when she received the gift, something they instantly agreed with.

"Anaís, I promise you, Mami will love her present. I know she will, you don't need to worry or be scared. She will really love them. I pinky promise." You hold her hand out for her to link fingers with you, and after a moment of careful consideration, she nods and seals the promise.

"Ready now." She says confidently, so you smile and stand up again.

Knocking twice, you open the door to find a few members of staff there - a few from Barça and a few from the team you'd worked with at Nike. In the middle of the table was the box that contained the surprise, and Anaís' eyes widened so far they almost bugged out of her head.

"There, Mama." She said in a loud whisper, the others in the room smiling brightly at her excitement.

"There they are! Let's go sit down and look at them."

You lead her to the table and sit down in a middle seat, keeping Anaís on your lap. One of the Nike staff talks you through them briefly, giving you an update on the process, and the whole time Anaís bounces giddily. She was getting a little antsy and you figured it was a bit of an odd situation for her to be in; sat in a room with unfamiliar people, one holding a camera to film the day, all whilst the thing she'd been desperate to see for over a month sat waiting in the middle. Somehow she had managed to keep the whole thing a secret, Alexia to your knowledge none the wiser about the whole thing. There were nearly a few slip-ups, but so far so good.

"Okay, that's all I think. You can look at them now."

Anaís grins as you reach for the box and pull it closer, putting it within reach for her to open it.

"Go on, Anaís, you can look."

You watch her face rather than look at the gift at first, your heart clenching at the utter joy and awe on her face as she lifts the lid off of the box. She lets out an adorable gasp, reaching a hand out and delicately picking up one of the things in there.

"Mama... I love them." She states, turning to look at you and showing off the item in her hand.

"They are amazing, aren't they? They came out perfect, wow." You take the other one out from the box, examining it closely. "Mami will adore them."

"When is she coming?" Anaís wonders, and you look up to the Barça staff.

"Training will finish any second now. They'll text when she's on h-" His phone pings as he speaks. "Ah, she is on her way now."

"Great! Anaís, let's put these back in the box so Mami can open it for herself." Anaís nods eagerly and carefully puts them back in, before turning and hugging you unexpectedly. "Hey, what's this for?"

"Mami will love her gift. I know it!" She squeals, pulling back and placing a sloppy kiss to your cheek.

"Thank you for that! How lucky I am to have such a kind, cute little girl, huh?" You smile at her, leaning forward to kiss all over her face. She squeals again and hides herself in your shoulder, pressing kisses of her own to your shirt. "Do you remember what to say when Mami walks in?"

"Umm... felicidades?" Anaís says, and you nod proudly.

"Perfect! Bien, mi niña."

No less then five minutes later, you can hear footsteps and a familiar voice coming down the corridor.

"-are you making me do media without showering? It was hot today, I'm all swe-"

Alexia cuts herself when she opens the door to see you and Anaís there. It's a far better surprise than media.

"What are you two doing here?" She asks with a huge smile on her face, frozen in place at the door.

"Say it, Anaís." You whispered in your daughter's ear.

"Felicidades, Mami." Anaís says shyly, and Alexia bounds over to her to pick her up and hug her tightly.

"Thank you, princesa! What a lovely surprise!" She exclaims, looking over at you for a bit of context.

"We have a better surprise for you. Come sit down." You tell her, patting the chair next to you.

Everyone else in the room stands back and watches, and Alexia takes her seat with Anaís curled into her side. With a quick kiss to her forehead, she gestures to the box in front of her.

"This?" She wonders, and before you could get a word in, Anaís pipes up.

"Open it, Mami! It is the best gift ever!" She urges, patting her leg to try and hurry her up.

"Alright, alright. Cheeky." Alexia tuts jokingly, reaching around Anaís to flick the lid open. Her jaw drops when she looks inside, and of all things in the world, she wasn't expecting them.

Inside, were two completely customised football boots, designed by Anaís with help from you and a team at Nike.

The design of the boots were fairly similar, except for a few tiny details that were special to each one. They were mainly white, and on each toe end of the boots were Anaís' hand prints in the blaugrana colours. Under the Nike tick on the outside of each boot were Anaís' initials with a penguin beside them. Additionally, under the logo on the inside of the boots were the words 'Vamos Mami' written in Anaís' squiggly handwriting. Every single detail, from the heartwarmingly poor stick figure drawing of Alexia on the back of the boots with the words 'My Hero' beside them, to the one of Alexia's favourite flowers and the other little contextual family inclusions, sent her into an emotional frenzy.

They were obviously majoritively designed by a small child, Anaís, but that was what made them so very special to Alexia. To her, they were probably the best gift she could've received purely based off of the sentimental value of them, and she had had tears in her eyes the moment she saw them.

"Anaís... wow." Alexia choked out, hastily wiping away one that slipped out. "You made these?"

"I did! Me and Mama!" Anaís claimed proudly, grinning up at Alexia and helping her to brush her tears away. But the sight of her crying confused her, and her smile quickly turned into a frown. "Oh. Not happy?"

"No, no, I'm so happy, Anaís, so happy. I love them so much that I'm crying, how silly?" Anaís giggled at her Mami, and the whole thing to you was ineffably adorable. "Oh wow. I really love them."

"Can you wear them for your games?" Anaís wonders.

"Well, I will, but only for my most important games. I don't want to ruin them and get them all muddy."

"We have a replica pair at home so you don't need to worry about that." You tell her, and she reaches over to take your hand, squeezing it gratefully.

"Thank you both. You really thought of everything." She shakes her head and sighs shakily, unable to tear her eyes away from them. "Anaís, is this a picture of me?"

Anaís giggles and nods as Alexia points to the stick figure of herself.

"I drawed it." Anaís says, and you stifle a laugh at the ridiculousness of the drawing. It is definitely easy to figure out it's done by an almost 3 year old.

"These are the best present I've ever got." It's then that she notices even the shoelaces are customised; red and blue hearts drawn by Anaís are patterned up and down the laces, and even the aglets of them have Anaís' name written there. "You both really thought of everything."

"We did our best." You affirm, leaning into her side when she holds her arm out. The arm of the chairs make it a little uncomfortable, but it doesn't take away from the moment.

"Tengo la mejor familia, eh?" Alexia whispers, kissing Anaís' forehead again, then your cheek. "Mis amores, are you staying for lunch?"

"Anaís was a little bit nervous about that earlier." You reveal, and the little girl nods sheepishly.

"Hey, that's okay! You can stay with me and Mama if you need to, everybody just loves seeing you smile, mi sol pequeña." Alexia says to Anaís, and the girl follows through immediately with her big, cheesy smile. "Exactly like that. Shall we go now? I'm hungry and I want to show off my amazing gift to everybody."

After that, the three of you make your way round to the cafeteria. Anaís sits on your lap throughout, eating a bowl of her favourite meal, tomato pasta, before drawing personalised name stickers for everyone she knows. Her tiny mind gets blown away when she finds out Mapi's last name means lion, so she of course has to sit with her for the rest of dinner to discuss such an outrageous topic. It gives you and Alexia a moment alone after it all, and she shuffles your chair closer so that she can whisper endless amount of soft words to you. She can't believe her fortune at having two people do such an act of kindness for her, and she makes sure the two of you know it.

The only thing is, those one of a kind boots aren't the sole surprise of the day. And the next one shocks you too.

Later that evening, as Alexia is in Anaís' room reading her a bedtime story and you do your skincare in the ensuite, something catches your eye in the back corner of the cupboard when you go to get your cleanser. It's a box you haven't paid any mind to since the first round of IVF for the second baby, as it had unfairly gotten your hopes up. But now it piques your interest too much, and whilst Alexia is busy elsewhere, you decide to do it.

You're not expecting anything, having been let down too many times, and that's why you scream so loud.

"Oh my fucking god!"

About half a millisecond later, Alexia comes running in with a disgruntled and half-asleep Anaís in her arms.

"What's wrong!?" She asks desperately, noticing your trembling shoulders as you faced away from her and your teary eyes in the mirror.

Slowly, you turn around, another hCG test in you hand.

"This s-says twenty-six, Ale." You stutter, your free hand coming up to cover your mouth.

The pair of you stare at each other in disbelief, eyes wide and jaws to the floor. You're probably an image to behold, with two under-eye masks on and spot cream dotted around your face, and Anaís in Alexia's hold looks less than pleased at the events that have occurred with her wild bed-head.

"It says what?!" Alexia cries out, breaking the stand-off and coming over to you so she can catch a look at it. "It does say twenty-six!"

"Ale..." You breathe out, looking up into her eyes and shaking your head. "I'm not falling for this again."

"Amor, don't start stressing. Let's take this as a good thing for now, and we will go to our appointment tomorrow like normal. Okay? Don't stress, please, this is a very good sign." Alexia reasurres you, wrapping an arm around you and rubbing your shoulder comfortingly. Anaís still has no clue what's going on, but she sleepily puts an arm around your neck too, always one for a family hug.

"Last time though, it gave us a good score and it ended up being nothing." You sighed, closing your eyes in her hold.

"But last time wasn't as high as this. This is much better, this is an amazing sign. The only thing we can do is wait to see the nurse tomorrow, okay?" You nod reluctantly, sighing in frustration and pulling away. "Is it alright if I go put Anaís to sleep? Or do you want her to stay with us for a bit?"

You look at your daughter in Alexia's arms and instantly make a decision; you could never deny cuddles with her.

"Take her to bed with us."

For a little while, the three of you cuddle closely together in your bed, a film of Anaís' choice playing on TV even though she had fallen asleep less than ten minutes into it. Once it had finished, Alexia went to put her in her own bed before coming straight back to you. You try to settle into sleep, but it evades you due to your clouded mind, and Alexia notices. She spends an unknown amount of time reasurring you, also talking about everything and nothing to sooth you, until you eventually do fall asleep. It takes a while for her to get to sleep too, but she does with a smile on her face.

And she was right to have that smile, because the next day at your already scheduled blood test with the nurse, it's confirmed that you are pregnant. The relief is overwhelming, because it's not just the fact that you are finally pregnant, it also erases all the doubt and guilt and whatnot from the past eight months, finally clearing your head from it all. It's a huge weight off of your shoulders, and an almost equally large on off of Alexia's because the heartbreak she felt everytime, not only when a transfer failed, but when you loathed yourself after each one was so heavy, it nearly broke her in two. But here you were, healthy and happier than ever with a baby growing and a smile on your face.

Being able to tell family and friends a little while after was an incredible experience, somehow even better than telling them about Anaís, because they all knew the struggles of the past months and how difficult it had been for you and Alexia. Your favourite part though was telling Anaís, even if it was a little anti-climatic, because she simply shrugged and said 'about time' before asking to go to the park.

There was one little worry. Not a problem with your health or the baby, but with Anaís. Because she was so excited about having a sibling, except she often would say...

"It better not be a boy." She would huff grumpily, and she would say it unprompted too whilst doing things like drawing a family picture and adding a baby to the tummy of your stick figure or as she played with her dolls.

And it was certainly a worry because the baby did end up being a boy. It was yours and Alexia's plan to tell Anaís the gender on her birthday, but after finding out it was a boy, that didn't seem like such a great plan. Out of fear of possibly ruining her birthday, you told her the day after, and it went much better than you expected.

"Will he play dolls with me? And like stickers? And like drawing?" She had asked after a few moments of silence.

"He probably will, yes." You responded.

"He might even like football too." Alexia grinned, and Anaís easily matched her with a cheeky smile of her own as you rolled your eyes.

"I guess that's okay then."

As you months rolled on and you moved from trimester to trimester, Anaís fell more and more in love with her little brother. She loved talking about him, as well as talking to him whenever she was given a chance, her hands moving around your bump to feel his little kicks. With each one-sided conversation she had, she would end it with a kiss and a whisper of 'hurry up, chico!'

Your hormones had kicked in a little stronger this pregnancy, because every time Anaís would interact with your bump, your reaction would range from a lump in your throat, to full on tears. Alexia loved it, teasing you every so often, but she quickly figured out her limits after your tears of joy at Anaís soon turned into tears of pain when the baby dealt you a hard kick to the ribs. The Spaniard's face immediately paled when you screamed at her so furiously, it sent Anaís running for the hills through the house. Thankfully, the next day, the little girl forgot all about the night's events, until one day a while later she brought it up in front of her Tía Alba, and your face turned red with embarrassment.

Your little boy decided to bring himself into the world a tad early in September that year, with a bit of a longer labour and more complicated birth. But, in the end, her arrived safely and healthily, and the same went for you. Alexia had sat there, biting her nails anxiously as the doctors did their checks, but they ultimately gave you the all-clear and the nausea left her stomach.

"We still don't have a name." You huffed tiredly when Alexia took him from one of the nurses and brought him over to you.

"That's okay. We will figure it out. For now, just look at his cute face." Alexia smiled brightly, sitting beside you carefully and showing him off.

"He is cute." You sighed contently, resting your head on her shoulder. This birth had thoroughly taken it out of you, and it was a miracle you were able to keep your eyes open.

"He is chubby." Alexia hummed, and she winced when you lightly slapped her hip.

"Be nice to him." You scolded her, but Alexia was just glad to see the smile on your face that you failed to fight back.

"I am being nice, he just has very big cheeks." Alexia defended herself, raising a hand to lightly run the back of her finger along his cheek, a gesture you remember her doing for Anaís.

He was clearly much more fed up with the day then Anaís was when she was born, because he was already fast asleep. His little mouth was open, and sometimes when he fidgeted in his sleep, his tongue would poke out momentarily. Alexia laughed quietly whenever he did as you watched them both, already absolutely infatuated with the sight.

"I can't wait for Anaís to meet him." Alexia stated, and you nodded in agreement. "Can we ring her? Or do you want to rest some more?"

"No, let's ring her. I miss her."

For obvious reasons, it had been over a day since you'd last seen Anaís, the longest you'd gone without being with her. Alexia passed your son over to you and got her phone out of her pocket, going onto it and getting up her Mami's contact.

"You're sure?" She checked, and you nodded.

Within three rings, Eli answered the FaceTime call, and before she could even speak, Anaís' face took over the whole screen.

"Is he here yet, Mami?" She asked quietly, and Alexia couldn't resist.

"No, not yet, I'm sorry chiqui."

"Ale! Don't be mean, tell her."

As soon as Anaís heard your voice, she gasped excitedly, hoping she had correctly interpreted your words.

"He is here?"

"He is. There he is." Alexia turned the camera so that you and the baby were in view for Anaís to see, and her face was adorable.

"Oh my... he is so cute." She whispered, noticing he was asleep and speaking as quietly as she could. "I love him."

"You do?" Alexia said, her heart filled with more love than she ever thought possible.

"I really love him." Anaís smiled brightly. "Is Mama okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay, thank you mi niña. I am very, very tired, but I'm alright." You told her, and she nodded, glad to hear it.

"Does he have a name?" You shook your head and saw her eyes light up. "I have a name!"

"Go on." Alexia prompted her, not really expecting anything that could be a good suggestion.

"Oriol!" Anaís said proudly.

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, wondering where on earth she got that from, but happy with it nonetheless. It was already on the name list you and Alexia had, and it was actually one of your favourites. But the pair of you just couldn't choose, so you decided to shortlist a few and to wait and see until he is born. Oriol was indeed a name on the shortlist.

"Yes, that is a good name." You nodded, looking at Alexia to see what she thought.

"I really like that name, well done chiqui." Alexia replied, and the pair of you share a glance.

Speaking with Anaís for a little longer, you both notice her getting progressively more tired as it got closer to her bedtime. With the promise that she can visit tomorrow, you say goodbye to her and let her take one final look at her brother before she goes to the room she was staying in at Eli's. You stay on the phone with Eli for a few moments, smiling at all the praise she offers you, before she bids you both farewell and hangs up.

"So..." Alexia started, looking down at your son. "I think we have a solution to our problem?"

You look down at him too, knowing what Alexia was talking about, and nod.

"I think we do."

When Anaís visits the next day, she hugs you and Alexia tightly first, having missed her two favourite people in the world for the short time she was away. Then, Alexia gets the baby out of the hospital cot and shows him to her, and she's fascinated by him. She quickly has a moment of overwhelming excitement, and she jumps around on the spot away from him so that she can, in her own words, 'get it all out' before she holds him.

Sitting on the chair beside your bed, pillows scattered around her, Alexia carefully places him in her arms that hold him securely. Unsurprising to you, you immediately well up at the sight, wanting to burn the image into your mind forever. She makes sure she holds him properly, asking Alexia every so often if she's doing it right, before she leans down and kisses his hat-covered head softly. Alexia shows her a special 'trick', where she offers her finger out to the baby and Anaís gasps quietly when he wraps his hand around Alexia's finger. The moment only forces more tears out of you, and Alexia looks up at you and flashes you a teasing smile. Her attention is drawn away from you not a second later when Anaís asks something.

"Does he have a name yet?"

Just like last night, you and Alexia share a glance, before you turn back to Anaís.

"His name is Oriol."

#alexia putellas x reader #woso x reader #alexia putellas #alexia putellas one shot #alexia putellas imagine #woso fic #woso imagine #woso #woso community

[shelbygun]

happy birthday, baby

pairing: thomas shelby x fem!reader

summary: thomas always wanted you, and he will claim you on your birthday.

warnings: big ? age gap (reader is 17 and tommy in his late twenties, srry i love age gap), p in v, smut, breeding kink, daddy kink, pet names

a/n: the last fic was short and a little miserable so here I bring you one from tommy (because I love him) a little longer <3 I hope you enjoy it, sorry for the spelling mistakes, english is not my first language!

Thomas always wanted you, ever since you were a cute and naive girl. Since you walked through the town in your flowered dress, which gently rose up every time you ran or played. Or since when you visited his house, looking for his sister Ada to play or do homework. 

He watched you as you talked about boys with Ada, wishing you would stop naming other stupid boys and just think about him. Oh, he hated it so much when he heard you talk about others and not him. 

Although you didn't know it, you were his. Only his. And in that way he took the trouble to scare away any boy who wanted to get close to you, because you were his. In case he didn't notice and saw a boy with you, even a classmate of yours, talking to you or just being close to you, he would send the one of the Peaky Blinders to scare him and threaten him that he shouldn't approach you. 

For your part, you didn't understand why the boys didn't approach you, or sometimes they looked at you with fear. You were a good girl to everyone, you never did anything wrong against anyone, and it seemed strange to you that everyone didn't seem to have the guts to approach you. 

One day you talked about this with Ada, she told you that they might find you a very pretty girl and were afraid that you would reject them. But you didn't buy that opinion, and you were left with doubt. 

Thomas listened to that conversation, and was proud to see that no one approached his girl. 

At the same time, you were hiding a little secret that no one knew, not even Ada. You were in love with his brother, with Thomas. And who doesn't? He was a sexy man, all the women died for him, and you felt lucky when he spoke to you or sat next to you at lunch those days when you stayed at the Shelby's house.

But you thought there was no chance of him hanging out with you, since you always saw him with other women, fucking any prostitute. You felt jealous, and a little sad too. 

But Thomas only had encounters with women because he had to satisfy his needs while you were out of his reach. Even if he was fucking other women, he would always think about you, about how your body would look below his, how your hips would collide while his cock was thrust into your little virgin cunt again and again. He would also masturbate, thinking that the hands that wrapped around his big size were yours, or imagining your pretty little mouth being violated while you took it all in. He was a little fanciful sometimes. 

He promised to wait for you, he fucking promised, but he just couldn't hold back any longer. He had to have you and claim you as his, brand you with the name Thomas Shelby. So now his promise was to wait until your next birthday, when you would turn 17. 

He knew that you were a virgin, -since there was a reason he chased men away from you-, so he wanted that night to be pleasant. He would give you your birthday gift, one that you would really enjoy.

One day before your birthday, he noticed that Ada was baking a cake for you. "She will be with us tonight for her birthday." That was what she said when he asked her about the cake, although he knew well the reason for that dessert. 

After that, he went around the city looking for a nice gift for you. Nothing expensive or luxurious, since he knew you didn't like those things. Something simple and kind-hearted would catch your attention and would be enough to pamper you. 

He bought you a cute and delicate necklace, along with a bouquet of flowers. He was feeling like a man completely lost for you, for your innocence, innocence that he wishes to corrupt. 

He kept your gift in his office for the time being, as he still had work to do regarding the business. The whole time he was sitting at his desk, analyzing documents and signing unimportant papers, he was thinking about how you would look tonight, how your moans will sound, how pretty you will look underneath him, begging for more, for his cock. He was already getting hard just imagining your face of pure pleasure and excitement when you reached your first orgasm, caused only by him.

Hours later, after finishing all his paperwork and being completely free of work, he headed home, where you would be too. When he walked through the front door, he could hear your soft giggles mixed with the delicious aroma of the food you were cooking with Ada and Polly. 

He disassembled, standing a little close to the kitchen, in the perfect position to see you. You were wearing a beautiful white dress, a symbol of your innocence and purity, the characteristics of your personality that drove him crazy. You looked beautiful with your hair down and long, since you never liked short haircuts. 

None of the three of you saw him, nor did they see the bouquet of flowers or the necklace box that were dedicated to you. It was a little secret. 

He walked up the stairs, entering his room and closing the door behind him. He sighed tiredly, dropping your gift on his bed. It was too much for him to see you in that tight little dress and not be able to grab you, touch you, eat you with kisses. 

He was in his room, imagining the possible scenarios for tonight. He thought about masturbating while, but it was highly inappropriate since you were here. He is a respectful man, only to a point.

A knock on his door interrupted him, standing up from his desk, his cigarette in the side of his mouth. He opened it and found you there, standing in front of him like an angel who just fell from the sky. “Hi, Tommy. We're about to start eating, will you join us?" You said in your sweet little voice, looking adorable as you looked at him with your pretty eyes, those eyes that drove him crazy. "Of course, baby. I'll be with you." He responded, eating you with his eyes. You looked completely delicious in that dress. 

The two of you walked down together to the dining room, the table with food and drinks ready. He sat next to you, clearly, and the evening for your birthday began. 

Arthur told bad jokes, John joined in his game, and Polly scolded them. You and Ada laughed at their jokes, childish smiles covering your faces. Thomas was serious as always, from time to time he would give a low laugh or a little grin would appear on his lips, but he was totally focused on you, on how beautiful and edible you looked. He wanted to eat you and taste you. He swore that you were going to taste better than all the food that was on the table. 

He would put his hand on your thigh sometimes, giving you light caresses, as if anticipating what he was going to do to you. You were blushing hard, biting your lower lip. He did this before, caressing you under the table surreptitiously, but today it felt different. 

Before the clock strikes 12, Polly and Ada bring the cake to the table, placing it in front of you. Arthur was looking for a camera, to the sound of "Where's that bloody shitty camera?!" John laughed, amused at seeing his brother renege. Thomas looked at you, and then at the clock. He had the lighter in hand for the candle on the cake. 

Finally, after a few minutes, it was your birthday. The Shelby's sang with you while you blew out the candle, Arthur taking pictures of you with the camera he was looking for and John trying to ruin your face on the cake. Of course he didn't because Polly scolded him, and Ada put too much effort into the cake to ruin it. 

When they came up to greet you and hug you, Thomas was the last to do so. He approached gently, getting close to you. "Happy birthday, baby. I have a gift for you, but I'm not going to give it to you now." He whispered in your ear with his deep, masculine voice, filling your nostrils with his intoxicating aroma. You nodded at his words, looking at him anxiously.  

You were nervous to death, thinking and imagining the gift he had for you. You already had an idea of what it could be, of course, as Thomas has shown more and more the intentions he has for you. Getting closer to you, giving you light caresses when no one was looking. Sneaky but at the same time so predictable. 

After eating cake and Arthur having had a few drinks, babbling nonsense and making the whole family and you laugh, everyone decided to go to sleep. Polly said goodbye to each one with a kiss on the forehead, wishing them good night. John was trying to help Arthur guide him to his room, but the man was so drunk and dumb that he couldn't stand up. You and Ada laughed in amusement at his condition. And Thomas was serious, as always, but this time he wasn't the first to enter his room and lock himself up for the night. No, he waited until Ada was distracted to grab your arm and whisper in your ear. "When Ada falls asleep, come to my room. Understand, babe?" He said quietly.

Now all your blood has risen to your cheeks. You and him, at dawn, alone. It was so obvious what he wanted to do to you, how he wanted to take you. And you bit your lips from nerves, from desire. How long have you waited for this, for him, and were you finally going to have it? Plus, on your birthday. It was going to be a memorable day. 

God, you have heard my prayers, you said internally. 

You walked into Ada's room, looking a little different. She asked you why you seemed so nervous, like waiting for something. You only responded that you were very happy for your birthday and that was enough to convince her. The two of you chatted for a couple of minutes, exchanging giggles from time to time. In your mind you were just praying that Ada would feel tired soon so you could receive your surprise. A few moments later, you heard a yawn from her and she suddenly said she wanted to sleep. Thank you God, you have heard me for the second time.

Both of you lay properly on the bed, with your pajamas on. You said goodnight and turned your backs to sleep. You were waiting patiently for Ada to close her eyes and fall into a deep sleep to leave. You had your eyes open and your mind busy imagining and imagining so you wouldn't fall asleep too. And, like God's third act, a soft but sure snore emerged from her. 

Gently and quietly, you got out of bed and walked out of the room. The wood creaked under your feet with each step you took in the hallway, heading towards the lion's den. You opened Thomas's bedroom door without warning. And you saw him.

He was sitting on his bed, his legs slightly open with his elbows resting on his knees while in his hands he had a bouquet of flowers. On his nightstand, a small velvet box lay. Thomas looked up at the creak of the door, a slight, mischievous smile on his lips. "Ada took a while to fall asleep, eh?" he teased in a low, husky tone of voice. 

You blushed softly, closing the door behind you and standing a few feet away from him. He gave a nasal laugh and stood up from the edge of the bed, approaching you. You had to lift your head a little to look at him properly. "Happy birthday, baby..." he whispered softly, holding the bouquet of flowers in his hands. You smiled sweetly, taking the bouquet and looking happily at the gift he had for you. "Oh, Tommy... it wasn't necessary..." you murmured, looking adoringly at Thomas and the bouquet. 

"It's not the only gift I have for you, love..." he said with a mischievous smile, moving away from you a little to grab the velvet box. "Turn around." He demanded as he approached back. You still had the bouquet in your hands as you turned around, feeling his body stand behind you. Cold metal made contact with the skin of your neck and you saw Thomas's fingers holding a necklace. You stifled a gasp, admiring the metal thread. 

You grabbed the necklace with your hand, smiling contently. You noticed that the letters "TS" were written on the necklace pendant. 

“This is proof that you're mine now, baby…”He whispered in your ear, gently caressing the sides of your body. “You are totally mine, my love. Until the end of the world you're going to be, do you understand, baby?" He manipulated your little head, leaving soft kisses behind your ear. 

And like the good girl you were, you nodded softly, letting yourself be carried away by his pretty words. "I want to make you mine right now, will you allow me, my love?" he asked softly. And again, your little head nodded, allowing him to finally use you. 

He turned you around, making you look into his eyes. He gently grabbed your cheek, bringing his lips to yours and kissing you sweetly. This was your first kiss and he wanted you to enjoy it and remember it in a good way. His tongue barely touched your lips, tempting you to more of him. 

With a gentle grip on your waist, he laid you down on his bed, pulling you under him as you kissed over and over again. He became addicted to your lips, wanting to have his taste attached to yours. His hands caressed your thighs under your pajama shorts, squeezing your delicious flesh a little. 

"Will you allow me, baby?" He whispered in your ear, lacing his fingers in the hem of your cotton t-shirt, asking if he could take it off. With a slight nod, you let your torso be exposed. He was dazzled by your tummy and your pretty breasts that he wanted to squeeze and kiss so much. He did so, leaning his head to your chest and removing your bra, throwing it to the floor. He gently licked the tip of your breast, stimulating the other with his hand. You let out a soft moan, closing your eyes and grabbing his hair, enjoying the new pleasure. 

He played with your nipples a little longer, playing like a little child. "They're so cute, my love. I hope to see them more often..." he teased, giving them one last kiss before lowering his lips to your tummy, letting his breath hit your pelvis covered by the shorts.  

“You can, Tommy. Please do it." You whispered, eager to feel his touches down there, on your virgin cunt. He looked at you softly as he cupped your cheeks. "No more Tommy, my love. From now on, you will call me Daddy every time we are together. Understand, baby?" *That fucking nickname was so provocative for you.* 

“Understood, Daddy." you obeyed, smiling a little, looking adorable, like a sweet, innocent girl. His sweet, innocent girl. 

"That's what I like to hear, pretty baby." He said proudly with a slight smile, placing a kiss on your belly. He gently grabbed the hem of your shorts, and without asking you -since he knew you would say yes- he lowered your garment, leaving you in your panties. 

"So cute, so innocent." He whispered softly, lightly caressing your pussy through the cotton fabric. He admired how you looked so sweet and innocent in just your panties, below him, in his total control. Your breathing hitched a little as you felt his fingers there, biting your lips gently. "Don't be shy, pretty baby." He teased, grabbing your hips. "There will be many more moments to come where I will see you like this." He calmed you down, using his soft, pretty words. 

You calmed down at his touch, although you did get a little nervous. He continued with his work, playing with your covered cunt, smiling a little. He liked to tease you, watching you squirm and moan like a needy kitten. He was just touching you a little to test the waters and then start with what he had planned. 

While he touched you, he felt how you became wetter and how your moans increased, and he decided to leave you. "Do you want it now, pretty baby?" He asked you with a wicked smile on his lips, looking at you as you heard the sound of his belt unbuckling. 

You were a little dizzy by his fingers, but you still nodded softly, letting him finally take you. You felt him rise again, making you able to look at his face. You saw how he took off his shirt, throwing it on the floor, showing his naked and perfect torso, with scratches and tattoos. He smiled as he noticed your gaze. "Do you like it, little girl? This is yours now, you can look at it as many times as you want." He whispered, as he took off his pants. 

He was totally naked now, showing off his large erection. He stroked it a little, while he continued looking at your little body, licking his lips and thinking a lot of scenarios with you. 

"You're driving me crazy, baby..."  

He approached you, letting his tip just touch your entrance, feeling you gasp and close your eyes. His cock was big, and you expected it to hurt. "I'm going in now, okay? It's going to hurt a little, but you'll get used to it, baby." He murmured. Gently, he gave the first push, causing only the tip to enter. You moaned, grabbing the bed sheets and biting your lip.  

"Good, baby... you'll get used to it." He whispered, giving you gentle caresses on your hip to soothe your pain.

You felt him start to go deeper and deeper, making you close your eyes and moan, feeling full when everything finally entered. "It's big..." you whispered softly. He laughed softly. "It is, but you just need to stretch out to enjoy it." 

 After a few seconds, he started to move. Going out a little and going in again, all slowly and gently so as not to hurt you. You felt those pushes like the sky, closing your eyes and moaning slightly, opening your little mouth. He enjoyed your countenance, watching you like his movements. 

“I'm going to go a little faster, little girl..." he warned, before giving you a kiss on your neck. Now, his movements began to be faster and more concise, crashing his pelvis against yours, filling you so well. He heard your moans and saw how you squirmed, making him smile. Meanwhile, he whispered nice words in your ear, caressing your breasts with one hand and holding your hip with the other. 

"Such a good girl, taking Daddy's cock so well. Who thought you were a virgin, huh, baby?" He whispered, slamming his hips precisely against yours, giving you more and more pleasure. 

You were so dizzy, feeling how his fat cock filled you and made you feel so good. You smiled like a fool at his whispers, and moaned uncontrollably. You felt like his movements were too much, and that the knot in your stomach was already going to explode. Thomas knew you were going to come, and he smiled. "Cum for Daddy, little girl. Do it, do it for your daddy." He whispered in your ear, making his thrusts even stronger as he felt like he was going to cum too. 

"Would you like Daddy to leave his cum in you, pretty baby? For Daddy to fill you with his essence?" You nodded, moaning softly. Soon, you felt your legs shake, his cock thrust too hard, and your knot exploded. You moaned loudly, letting your liquid come out. You also heard Thomas' grunt in your ear, and his cum filling you. 

"Good little girl... you were a good baby, you know that?" He whispered in your ear, as he pulled out of you and let his liquids mix and come out of your entrance together, creating an image worth seeing. "Look at that... it's perfect, baby."  

He noticed that you were tired from what happened. He took you in his arms and laid down gently next to you, holding you close to his body. He enjoyed having you so much, watching you moan and pant for him. It made him feel like a king.  

"Sleep, pretty baby... you deserve a rest after being a good girl for Daddy..." he whispered in your ear. He planted a soft kiss on your little head, stroking your hair and letting you fall asleep. 

You fell asleep like a baby in his strong, comfortable arms, dreaming about him. This was definitely your best birthday. 

#cillian murphy #cillian x fem!reader #smut #cillian murphy fic #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x reader #fanfic #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby #thomas shelby x y/n #thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby smut #peaky blinders fic

[boyfridged]

What do you think about bruce wayne?

that is such a broad question… but i guess i rarely talk about bruce specifically, in isolation. and i love bruce dearly, despite despite despite… despite the fact that it took me so long to get there even, because for years of reading dc comics he was a nuance to me. but i am now tremendously interested in bruce wayne. i have a soft spot for pre-crisis bruce, his geniality and zest, that easy affection. but i’m also interested in bruce of the “dark” post-crisis era, and where their personalities meet at…

so i’m interested in bruce wayne who took the idea of “grief work” too literally. in how he invented a myth for his tikkun olam and did it wrong. and hence in a myth that grows hungry and implicates others in tragic cycles. in bruce wayne whose kindness makes him project on people that would be better off without it. all to say, i’m mostly interested in how batman sees a man, dead in crime alley and thinks: that could be me. my beginning and my probable end. and who ought to rectify that opinion later, by admitting he thought he’d be a victim of his own mission, but it was his son instead.

his biggest trouble: he perfected the vigilante-civilian lives compartmentalisation, but it lasted no longer than a few years, only for his newly-found family members to enter the picture and mess his brilliant system of identity split… because with children, there’s no dichotomy - they will be his in cowl and out of it, and there will be a price to pay. and bruce realises that, when his abandonment issues also come into play - when he pushes his sons away to protect them from a life of his own invention.

i want these narratives to be complex; i want stories in which his love, just as his grief, gets ugly. and his grief, just as his love, becomes graceful and merciful. however that quote went, about being like gd -- loving everything/everyone and therefore nearly no one/nothing. not a comparison too out of place, since the whole world bends to his personal story.

but i also want the real, breathing thing, ordinary. i want bruce wayne a socialite that truly enjoys high society, as per old canon, that bristol man who drags his body through gotham whole, one with it and yet separated through the numbers in his bank account. i’m interested in bruce wayne rich and a rehabilitationist and therefore worryingly liberal-leaning-conservative. bruce wayne and his stupid, soft robes, and reading glasses, and barbecue parties, and that mini-golf in his WE office, having all of that while playing an every-man.

but that doesn’t answer the question, does it- i suppose what i think of bruce wayne is that: he’s wrong about nearly everything but that love matters. and he's most compelling when put in opposition to leslie, who reads him like an open book and thinks of him: a monster of her own.

#and that doesn't nearly cover it all. #because what of bruce wayne the lover for example... married to a woman he nearly never sees because everyone knows gotham comes first #sorry this was just me rambling<3 #is it even comprehensible at all #can you guys tell. i love batman very much... #can't believe i wrote a bruce wayne love letter #outbox #core texts #bruce.zip

[olderthannetfic]

I was watching a video on the Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragon’s fandom, cause I was very into it when I was younger and seeing the video come up in my recommended really took me back. And it was by a creator I really liked!

And then, 2 minutes in, they started expressing their sheer disgust for all the nsfw they came across, and a few minutes later disgust over the self-cest.

Everyone is free to their own opinions and taste in media, but the absolute vitriol was upsetting.

I’m always so disappointed to see this kind of message spread around, even though I understand it’s a ‘popular’ one. So many times, I see so many large creators on YouTube and TikTok demonising certain areas of fandom, even if they aren’t involved in that fandom/fandom in general.

While I understand some people are uncomfortable by some areas of fandom, just leave it alone? While you may not morally agree with something, it doesn’t mean you have to bash it in such a way.

Just…let people be! You are more than free to disagree, but you don’t have to engage with it and so publicly bash it. Let people engage in fandoms how they please.

In real life, this a lot of this stuff is absolutely morally reprehensible and disgusting. But this is fandom/fiction. And there can be a lot of ‘gray areas’.

I’m also especially sad about how ‘shippers’ get talked about in these kinds of videos. I fully understand not being a shipper and disliking them, but come ON! Ship (or don’t) and let ship.

Anti rhetoric is nothing new, but I’m so sad when time and time again creators talk like this about different aspects of fandom, without even trying to ‘understand’, or just leave it alone.

There are many creators I enjoy that will cover topics involving fandoms/fandom spaces, who come on and ridicule what they find. Those aren’t your spaces, and that’s fine, so stay out of them if you dislike them.

This probably isn’t very coherent, I’m not very good at getting my thoughts out. But it made me so upset seeing a creator I really like start talking so bad about certain areas of the fandom. Like, full pretending to vomit and saying he was ‘crying over the self-cest because what is wrong with people’, and ‘child p is morally bankrupt’. In real life, yes it is. But this is fandom/fiction.

I took a video I might put on my blog to really get the full message of what they were saying. It was just so upsetting

--

Money. The bottom line is that these shitty practices make them money. If their audience started rewarding different behavior, they'd do that instead.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi Sasza i read through what you wrote about facial differences and realized that some things i planned to include might not be ideal and i would like to ask advice on what to change and how or if it would be better if i don't do it at all.

There are three characters who i would like to ask about. Only one of them has a facial differenc from the start of the story and its still an aquired injurie in his case. In my opinion he is the most simple case so i will start with him.

He is a minor character named Balthazar who shows up a few times throughout the story. He is a very energetic and friendly person who likes to play harmless tricks on people around him and has a good sense for fashion and is considered somewhat a trend setter in the courts he frequently moves in, he has several burn scars on his face. He has difficulty with moving parts of his face especialy the left side of his mouth has inpaired vision in one of his eyes and is missing part of his nose because of them. He is conected to the main character's father (who could be considered a moraly grey character strictly speaking due to some of his actions but he is a positive character over all and the fact that Balthazar choses to involve himself with him is considered a good sign by others around them that he (mc's dad, not Balthazar) is more good than bad.)

The thing that might be problem is that his scars are linked to an important event in his backstory. He was part of the branch of militya who deals with mostly magical, sometimes norma fires. He was a high ranking official and he helped the mc's dad escape when his parents tried to force him to join to get rid of him. A few years later he suffered the injurie and was unabel to continue on with his carrer. The mc's dad bought him enough land to be considered a nobel and ensured he had everything he needed to be confortabel in his new life out of gratitude for his help. The fire in whic he was injured is not significant to the story, and being injured while fullfiling his job is not unusual. But his injurie is still the reason he is in the position he is in. Is this alright? Or should i change it so he gains the injurie outside of his job or maybe he gets the property and titel gifted to him before he is injured? 1/3

Hi!

First thing about Balthazar, I enjoy that you describe him as energetic and friendly! Characters like this are certainly missing when it comes to facial differences in media.

[I also like that he has trouble moving the left part of his face - hey, that's just like me! :-) I don't see that often]

I don't think that having connections to morally questionable characters is bad. It sounds like you're just making a complex character, which is great. Doesn't seem to go anywhere near the "evil scarred man is Evil and Bad" stereotype :-)

The scenario behind his scar sounds okay. "Workplace accident" is obviously in the Always Traumatic trope bucket, but it's also the most plausible and common injury of that sort, which is nice (and reflects life much more than, let's say, "I was evil and got Punished so now I have The Scar"). But most importantly, you don't seem to merge Balthazar and his Accident into the same character - it's just him, he seems to have a lot going on, oh and he had this accident which influences his current position. His backstory having an effect on him while not being everything about him makes complete sense; that's how it should be! I don't see anything wrong with him being recompensated for his service. He was injured, unable to work, and got the help that he needed - sounds great!

I think it could also set up a premise that I never see around acquired facial differences - "hey, I'm actually glad it happened because I got all these new opportunities!" (here, becoming a part of the royal court and seemingly having a rather good time there?). It's something I see a lot of real people mention, but it's completely missing from fiction for some reason.

My only suggestion (the one that I always give) is to add more characters with facial differences, especially non-traumatic ones*. They can be side or minor characters, but it's still something I always recommend! Especially if fire-related injuries are more common in the setting, I think it would make sense to see more burn survivors just existing in the background of the story as regular people. *- doesn't necessarily mean "non-acquired". Illnesses can cause facial differences as well, both chronic (e.g. leprosy, severe rosacea) and acute ones (e.g. septicemia, Bell's palsy)! There's a lot of differences to be had :)

I hope this helps! :-)

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #foxmoth7 #face difference #burn survivor representation

[c-53]

hihi! do you possibly have any recs for media with girl robots? (glados portal and elster signalis are about all ik and i need to broaden my horizons)

THE FALL PART 1!!! I adore ARID. That one is a short puzzle game where you play as an autonomous combat suit, who’s operator is unconscious and dying. So she’s taken complete control of the body, and jumping through hoops and breaking rules to get him medical attention. She’s a very interesting character. Theres also a part 2, which I enjoy but forgot to finish

Sea of Rust by Robert Cargill is another one with a girl robot protagonist. She’s a scavenger in a post apocalyptic, post robot uprising wasteland, trying to get parts to repair herself. Its very very good. Big fan.

Entropy Centre is a portal-like gimmick puzzle game, where your tool gun has an onboard ai assistant, named Astra. She’s kind of one note, and always chipper and upbeat, but she’s very cute and also gay

I Am Mother is a movie (on netflix iirc) about an ai raising the next generation of humanity after an apocalypse, and follows her relationship with her, and her daughter, until someone else shows up at their bunker, and proves to the daughter that Mother is wrong about the extinction of humanity, and the inhospitability of the surface. Pretty decent movie! I have a liiiittle bit of beef with it though because I think it has some unsubtle bad opinions about abortion and the obligation of motherhood.

Vast Horizon is a podcast I’m still in the process of listening to, but as of season 2, its really really good. Following a human waking up on an abandoned, damaged spaceship, with no one but the onboard ship ai to help her. And while the ship ai genuinely cares about her friend’s well being, she is limited by her failing systems, and the many rules imposed upon her.

Aaaaand I still havent played them but I feel obligated to nudge System Shock at you. Shodan is one of the legendary girl ais.

This is all I can think of currently, but I’ll rb this later if I think of more, but I’m trying to only include ones who spend a lot of time with the girl robot

#dataspeaks #ask #media recs

[ennoshitas-princess]

Winning My Heart

Kenma Kozume x chubby fem! reader Warnings: fluff, slight bullying (not from Kenma), Kuroo setting the two of you up, slight subducting (comments), swearing Synopsis: you are the younger sister of a professional gamer and he takes you to a convention, even though you wanted to spend your weekend at home Word Count: 772 So, I hope you love this, bc I found the idea super cute.

Being dragged by your older brother to any place where he had to be was something you were already used to, but never quite enjoyed. In your honest opinion you found video games fine, but never enjoyed playing them. Just the thought of you being here made your anxiety skyrocket to a whole new other level.

“Look, y/n. Your older brother is cool, isn't he?” Your brother bragged about his success, even though he just gained fame because of you.

The real reason why he became famous rather quickly happened one fateful day, the day you decided to enter his room while he streamed himself playing Minecraft. You entered to check up on him, and only in seconds when the comment section of his stream started to go nuts over you.

One comment read: “Damn, I wish I could date her~”

Another read: “Is that your girlfriend??”

Another one: “I bet her pussy tastes so good~”

Just seeing those comments made you ick in disgust. Mainly, these were guys right around your brother's age, about in their twenties. You were just in your second year in high school. Just thinking about them made you want to leave, but you just stood there, rolling your eyes.

He kept on shooting each opponent down, each smearing in red as they fell onto the ground. You stood there with eyes opened up widely, shaking in place, wanting to leave and not see the bloody horror on the screen.

He eventually got shot, but never made it to the top of the rest. The highest score right when your brother died was about twenty thousand points, while he only got to like a thousand or so. You stood there wondering who was the one with all these points?

You walk away from the pouting of your brother, not wanting to deal with the big baby he is. You found yourself venturing off to anywhere to maybe find an exit, but a part of you just wandered around to check the place out.

From pro gamers, to noobs, to the in-betweens, your eyes glimmered under the lights hung right above your head. The time and dedication put into being here made you want to congratulate every single one of them, except your brother.

You eventually see a stand with a faux blond playing Mario Kart, trying to beat a rooster head right beside him.

Fascinated, you stop to check out who is going to win. A group of tall guys stand in front of you, snickering to each other.

“What is a fat ass like you doing here? Only guys are allowed. Not a girl like her.” One of them said.

“Yeah, like what the fuck is wrong with her? She should go to the restaurant right around the corner.” Another snickered.

The faux blond got distracted with the comments and turned around to glare at them.

“What is wrong with you guys?!? Anyone can be here and have fun. You guys are just jealous that she might be better than you.” His golden eyes pierced their souls.

With that, they scurried off to hide.He turned back to his game, only to lose. His eyes popped out with frustration, wanting to kick anything and everything. He lost because of those dumb guys. You weren't a problem, they were.

“Hey, you protected that girl even at the cost of you losing Kenma. Why?” Kuroo teased the guy.

“Because people like them are just dumb and don't deserve to even exist, like they are just wasting our oxygen.” Kenma shrugged it off.

Kuroo being himself, he knew there was something more with him and you.

“Hey, Chibi-chan. Who are you and do you have a boyfriend?” Kuroo called out to you.

Your face scrunched up with a hint of blush. A random hot guy is asking you if you have a boyfriend. How could this be happening?

“Umm… no, I don't.” You glance down to the floor.

“Great! Hey Kenma, why don't you go out with her?” He teased him.

His head turned around to where you stood. His face turned into a tomato seeing your cute chubby cheeks. Your outfit too made you even more adorable.

“What is your name?” The rooster head asked.

“L/n y/n.” You replied to him.

Cute, I guess. The faux blond thought.

He reminds me of my kitten. You thought.

“Do you play video games?” Kenma approached you with a hint of hesitation.

“No, but my brother does.” You point to where your brother sat.

“Oh. I thought we could play together. I could always teach you some time.” He suggested.

“Sure!” You smile happily.

A/n: hello, the post I promised of Kenma!! I will post the winner of the poll soon!! Hopefully you enjoyed reading this!!

Thanks for stopping by!!

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All rights reserved copyright ©

ennoshitas-princess

Please DO NOT repost on any other platform!!

Reblogs are acceptable

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #reader x character #haikyuu x reader #one shots #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #female reader #kenma kozume #kozume kenma #kenma #kenma x reader #hq kenma #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo testuro #kenma x you #kenma kuzome #kenma fluff #kenma x y/n #kenma x chubby reader

[zenaidamacrouras1]

for the writing ask: 10, 11 & 25, please? 💛

I answered 10 in another post! Just one second ago.

11. Three tropes that are fine but overrated.

Oooh complaining, my favorite, hahahaha. Umm, I like emotional competency in my characters so tropes where they've been in love for 10 years and never fucking said anything annoys the shit out of me. Get over your fucking self. Like pine for a year max and then send them a damn text. "Hey I like being your friend for sure but feel free to kiss me if you ever wanna kiss me? I feel like we could be a couple romantically but NBD either way" If your relationship can't survive that then it's a dead end anyway, and the person you have a crush on is a garbage human who is not worthy of your precious time.

Similarly when two characters with a past don't recognize each other (this doesn't just happen with Stucky, but Steve not recognizing post WS Bucky despite seeing him every day for months because he has a mustache or whatever is a common one) also strains me. Like, get your life together, character, if you want me to care about you, and also if you seriously don't recognize this person at all after X amount of interaction, did you ever really have a solid foundation?

The prompt is three, so a third is when a very, very, very basic miscommunication leads to 9,000 chapters of suffering and angst. Again, if a clarifying text of "Did you mean you hate me, or did you actually hate the scrambled eggs at brunch" can solve the whole plot, I lose all respect for the characters because life is hard, and shitty, and there are so many barriers that can fuck your shit up when you are doing your absolute fucking best, so I get annoyed when all of a character's problems are their own fault.

In case you are wondering, I am VERY annoying to watch TV with.

Like anything, when those tropes are done well they are exquisite and perfect and the best thing I've ever read and I have to lay on the floor to recover from the beauty, because when they are perfect, they are beyond perfection.

I think any trope can be done well and delight in nothing more than when a humble 'there was only one bed' uses that platform to transcend into brilliance. With anything I "don't like" it's more of a "I'm so excited to be proven wrong."

25. Is writing the whole thing beforehand better or worse than writing it as you go?

Por que no los dos?

See this is a complicated answer because I need feedback from other humans to feel like something I wrote is finished, so if I have betas and cheer readers then I can write the whole thing without posting, but I need some kind of feedback to get out of my head. On the one hand, I am writing for myself, but on the other hand, I'm posting to a public forum because I want people to read it, and the feedback during the writing process has always been huge for me.

Typically I like to be at least a few chapters ahead of where I'm posting, to allow the fic to "breathe" before calling it done. Even if a chapter or an entire fic is "done" and I wait a week or more to post it, it always gets better with that final edit.

#I am very opinionated #but I enjoy being wrong about my opinions #I have used several of the tropes I just complained about in my fics #so please don't think I'm talking about you #I think I'll find examples of the tropes I just complained about done well to prove myself wrong

[transfagfemme]

Adventure time fans when you enjoyed the Fionna and Cake finale and don't want their miserable unnecessary nitpicky opinions on a silly happy cartoon ruining ur joy and love for the show:

#I can't stand ppl who shove their negative opinions on things you enjoy in ur face like oh my god #if you have a hater complex and cannot stop criticising every aspect of media just keep that to urself #you'd think there was something Wrong with the ending with the way ppl r talking abt it #but everyone ended up happy and everything was good #like u guys are just being annoying atp I don't want to hear it 😭😭 #NOTE: THIS IS ME EXPLICITLY SAYING I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR NEGATIVE OPINIONS! SHUT UP! I DONT CARE THAT YOU DIDNT LIKE IT! #CRY ABOUT IT AND WHINE SOMEWHERE ELSE! #fionna and cake #adventure time #🐈

[dimitrscu]

when i see someone put both radahn and malenia in s tier on their boss ranking list

#you get it you get it #being a fan of both of those fights is hard when everyone constantly has them on opposite ends of the spectrum #‘​radahn is the best fight they’ve ever made!’ … ‘malenia is the worst fight they’ve ever made!’ congrats. both wrong 😀 #honestly the best fight they’ve ever made isn’t even in elden ring lmao #i mean ‘best’ fight is kind of subjective anyway so whatever #but seriously i know it’s an impossible thing to ask but people really need to learn to enjoy multiple things at once #with my top three bosses in elden ring two of them took me a little while to come around to #i feel like that has been the case for quite a few people as they play the game more #there’s a few bosses where the first time i fought them i was like eh they’re okay #and now they are some of my favourite bosses to fight #anyway like what you like obviously #i know people can get touchy about these sorts of things #having an opinion on a souls game these days is like kicking a hornets nest

[kyouka-supremacy]

--

#This is about the last thing I could have imagined happening to me but. #A girl just slid what pretty realistically is a love letter under my door and. I really don't know what to do about it #God. I like her a lot but I also really just love her as a friend?? #I don't. I have no idea what to reply because on one hand if I said something like #“yeah every second we spend together is precious to me too I love you <3 ” I would probably. Definitely come across wrong #But at the same time I can't just reply coldly I don't want to be rude. I do enjoy the time we spend together. #I just feel that if I don't reply with the same love and dedication I will come off as rude and make her sad and I really don't want to #But also I'm like. 100% sure I'm not into her romantically #It's just. The way she talks to me in the letter makes me feel... Odd in the bad way. #She spent words of admiration on me I really feel like I can't own you know. #She seems to look up to me a lot and I don't think I should be looked up to at all. #“You're a wonderful‚ very strong‚ and intelligent person” HOW DO YOU EVEN REPLY TO THAT. #“Uh I disagree but you're entitled to your opinion”... ? #Thank you? #This is. Ugh. I'm really not fit for this kind of stuff. #I LOVE exploring characters being in love and putting them in awkward ridiculous situations that make them miserable. #I HATE to be in such situations #As if exams weren't enough. How do I deal with that #Posting this just in case anyone has genuine advice btw. How do you reject a girl you actually like a lot #And how should I even write her back. Because she said to and I'm the WORST at writing back #Sis this is stressing me off so much. I want to dig a hole and disappear in it. I'm not getting out of my room for the next six months. #(For context we live in the same students dorm) #random rambles #I'm so distressed right now this is the absolute worst. #Like I was pretty fine with where we were at but now I feel like I really don't want to spend time with her again for a long time. #Deleting this soon hopefully

[martyrbat]

playing an ongoing game called ‘learn whats acceptable to say in someones tags or get blocked’. a lot of you are losing.

#i know i can be cringe or annoying but like. theres a difference between joking on something vs fucking insulting someone you dont know #is this person talking about something they enjoy that you dont? filter the tag and post content and go on with your day #if theyre too annoying then just unfollow for a bit and check back later even #is this person a fan of a character you hate?? put it on your own post instead of coming onto someones account to bitch in their tags #you are literally insulting a real life person over a fictional character. over a show. over a comic. what is wrong with you. #unless the thing they like is actively rooted in real life hate (racism sexism misogyny ableism transphobia etc) that will reflect #and cause real life harm then it literally doesn't fucking matter if you disagree with someone. #youre not making me want to read and consider your opinion about something i literally consume for fun and because haha autism s/i #by calling me an idiot or by saying how i (a disabled person) am ‘braindead’ because i have a different opinion or whatever. #youre just being mean because you feel like you have an excuse to pretend youre superior to someone #like idk how to break it to you but dick grayson isnt going to suck your dick despite you insulting a real person over him lmao. #anyways. im going to block you if you insult me. im going to block you if you see my post on something i like thats harmless and tell me #how much you personally hate it or disagree. i dont care. make your own post because now you cant make it on mine. #and my anon is temporarily off (sorry shy mutuals </3) because a lot of ppl dont have common decency on what's okay to say or demand lol

[gingerbreadmonsters]

if my main goal was to get into arguments about people who aren't real, and explain for the millionth time that reading comprehension and critical thinking are actually useful skills that you should know, you do realise that i just wouldn't bother with the whole writing thing, right?

#its so funny to me when anons come into my inbox ready to get in a fight #like..... you must realise that i have the home turf advantage here right? #an ask full of half-hearted roasts and unusual spelling is not going to convince me that i am wrong and evil #i like to spend my time on the internet doing things that are fun and that don't piss me off #so why exactly do you think i'm going to waste my time dunking on you when i don't agree with you? #if i don't like what you have to say the quite frankly i don't have to talk to you on my blog #in the same way that you owe me nothing - i actually owe YOU nothing as well #i am not entitled to your time and attention and you should not treat me as though i am #and in the same way - you are not entitled to my time or attention either #if you have something to say and your first thought is 'i have to be on anon bc i don't want anyone to know who i am'? #then know that i am laughing at you very hard #say it with your whole chest and own up to that being your opinion - or sit down and stop talking #actually i have a better idea - BLOCK ME and THEN go and do whatever else you were doing #i assume it's maths homework or a book report or something #we don't need to agree - and to be honest i don't really care what your hot takes are about people who don't exist #do enjoy your evening

[take-a-look-lee]

RIGHT, right, I’m here, give me a moment to just sort myself out. I’m here. Let’s do this. Brace yourself, because there are SEVERAL bards, unfortunately. It’s the nature of assassins. 

The Balladeer - Bard. Like. That’s it, I don’t need to say anything else. He would follow the College of Lore. He’s pretty cut and dry. He sings and he’s squishy as fuck, no hitpoints for you sir. 

Booth - Again, bard, but I feel like he’d be more of a Bard/Paladin multiclass. Mainly bard but with a few levels in paladin. I’m not working out like, pantheon’s and shit because that gets complicated, but he has that righteous anger paladin bullshit. Maybe he’s just a paladin with really high Cha, but I do feel like he’s got a bit of bard to him. He definitely doesn’t have the strength or the hitpoints of a paladin though.

Fromme - Fromme is a warlock. I struggled with Fromme at first but she’s definitely a warlock. Their whole thing is just, it’s religion but a bit to the left, and that’s definitely Fromme. You could probably spin it somehow so that her patron is Manson. I really really like this for Fromme. 

Guiteau - Barbarian/Cleric multiclass, definitely. You’ve got the Barbarian rage mixed with the religious zeal. I was kind of torn between paladin and cleric for his religious class, but I feel like having him also be a barbarian makes up for the sheer wild energy he’s missing by being a cleric instead of a paladin. Again, I did actually consider warlock for him but I like what I eventually settled on. 

Hinckley - He’s another bard. I’m sorry. I can’t help it. He’s peak shitty bard. He’s like, cliche to the point of almost being unplayable bard. Ridiculously low Cha, and I’m learning towards him being College of Creation? None of the subclasses really fit him which is fucking annoying, but I do like the idea of him being part of the College of Creation. All of his ability scores are low as shit though, hence him being almost unplayable.

Zangara - Wizard! Come on, was he really going to be anything else? I wasn’t exactly going to give him a close combat role, was I, and he’s absolutely not cool enough to be a sorcerer. So he gets to be a shitty little wizard and I’m very happy for him.

Czolgosz - @what-does-a-man-do jumped right on this one, and they were absolutely correct. He’s a Paladin! Now, they said Oath of Liberation (I think) but the more I think about it, the more I think he would work as either Oath of Vengeance, or, for a super funky one, Oathbreaker Paladin Czolgosz. But tbh, as long as he’s some sort of paladin, I’m happy. 

Moore - Genuinely struggled with Moore. In the end I settled on artificer because of the vibes, but also because I couldn’t really fit her anywhere else? I love her but she doesn’t work with something like dnd classes. I will admit though that the idea of her as an artificer has really grown on me. I just think it would be really funny. 

Byck - 100% pure barbarian. Nothing else. Just him and his anger and a very big stick. He’d have a surprisingly high Cha score though, I think. But yeah, he’s a barbarian, he yells at people and he rages and that’s about all he does. But he’s good at it, and he probably rolls very well on his intimidation checks. 

Lee - Rogue! Rogue! Rogue! Don’t actually know if I need to explain this one all that much? He’s a rogue! Look at that sneak attack damage stack up! It’s brilliant! Absolutely shit Cha score and his Con is also fucking awful but his Dex is out of this world, and hey, you’re dead before you know he’s there, so does that really matter? 

The Proprietor - Last but not least. He’d be a sorcerer! I really wanted him and the Balladeer to both be magic users, and socerers have a funky little bit of pizzazz that other similar classes - looking at you, Wizard - lack. So yeah, he’s a sorcerer and he’s cool and he’s powerful as fuck.

#assassins musical #holy shit this ended up being longer than i thought it would be #feel free to debate me on some of these but just know that you're wrong /hj #i hope you enjoy my really niche ramblings about things i have far too many opinions on!

[theamazingannie]

Can we as a society learn to express an opinion as an opinion rather than a universal fact? Especially when responding to someone who has a different opinion? Especially especially if the op was talking about something they enjoy and you come along to say that what they enjoy is actually terrible? Like let’s stop doing that I’m so tired

#this is specifically about music taste but can be applied anywhere #Im just so tired of having someone say that my favorite artist has no skips #which I agree with #and then the comments are full of ‘ummm except [song that I fucking love]’ #like…no #have your opinion elsewhere #stop being so negative all the time #we already live in a hellscape just let people enjoy things #and stop having wrong opinions lol #It’s nice to have a friend is a good song and I don’t trust people who don’t like it

[reitziluz]

thinking about the term transformative work. for anyone unfamiliar with it, it means fan created content, basically.

thinking about the word transformative. about accuracy, being in-character. how often fandom wank is about (nebulous) other peole being wrong, misunderstanding, missing the point. that wouldn't happen, that wouldn't work, they would never say that.

but if the work is transformative, there is necessarily a transformation happening. an interpretation, a possibility, a wish made to manifest. what could make it happen, how it could be made to work, if there was a world where those words would come out of their mouth?

i get overwhelmed sometimes, by the need to stay true to canon. maybe remembering that i am responding to it, exploring it, transforming it could help. of course it will be different, that's the point.

i still loathe some transformative works. the first instinct is to call them inaccurate. but that is just shielding yourself with the appearance of objectivity, isn't it? i think it will be more useful, more interesting, to dig deeper, get personal. less "they're wrong" and more "this is important to me"

this is important to me because it transformed me, so i'm transforming it in turn

#yes once again ppl were making me Tired with the tags they left on my post #once again tired of (my) joy being diminished into an excuse #to focus on (someone else's) outrage spirals #i don't think it's wrong to have (differing) opinions or to hate things #it's exhausting because it's boring #oh wow people have shit taste and bad opinions and make works that don't resonate with you #like yeah no shit #that's why i'm talking about what i enjoy instead??? #maybe try to be considerate of other people #and stay on topic #or fuck right off