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#but for like the last week ish theres only been one day where ive had more than one meal and thats SO SEXY
garlique · 3 years
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disordered eating tw im just articulating my thoughts abt my eating habits contextualized against my mental health issues also if yr grace and u see this no u dont <3
#a list of things i have eaten today:#red bull#yerba mate energy drink thing#20 million little mints#i should go eat some of my candied ginger so i dont throw up during choir hehe#anyway ya this depressive episode is very sexy in this regard because it literally takes too much effort to eat#because my problem most times#with restricting my eating is that like... i have adhd ive been an emotional eater my entire life#so its almost ALWAYS easier for me to eat than to not eat thats how i end up binging#because it's so fucking easy for me to start eating and just keep eating and eating and eating#i can literally house an entire large pizza + sides + drinks in under an hour sometimes#i think thats also why on my worse days i like wait so long to eat because once i DO eat its easier to keep eating#and harder to skip a late meal#plus i just like doing things later in the day i feel like im a person mostly between like 4 and 10 pm when im sober#but yes anyway. this depressive episode is making it VERY difficult to eat which is literally SO sexy#i truly love it when its easier to not eat than eat because that happens so rarely#but for like the last week ish theres only been one day where ive had more than one meal and thats SO SEXY#ofc my like once daily meals do end up being like way bigger than they should b a lot of the time like#because im still not good at restricting my intake when i actually eat like it truly is either i dont eat or i eat normal#like i dont think i could keep my caloric intake limited if i tried honestly#so like i do end up eating 1000 calories at like 8 pm and then nothing else#anyway ok if u read this first of all why second of all DO NOT send me any high and mighty messages abt it i am simply too tired#im gonna go eat some candied ginger for no vomity and i will see yall during choir hehe
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astro-break · 3 years
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Thoughts on the 7th ep of Hypmic Rhyme Anima. Spoilers beware 
Ep.1 | Ep.2 | Ep.3 | Ep.4 & 5 | Ep. 6
Can we get an MTC ep for Samatoki’s birthday please?
nope its MTR
ah man i always get really down whenever i see Doppo’s workplace environment. it suckssss
EYYYYY BUSTER BROS SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i forgot the name of the song in the moment but is Ikebukuro West Gate Park which is funny since thats where the ikebukuro prelims are held)
OOO IRIS ON A MOTERBIKE!!!!!!!!!!!! thats so hot oh my god, the CGI was good too! she had no right making to popping a wheelie over speedbumps look cool
Tom mentioned last episode that he had picked these three up from bad places and I have a feeling that Iris was once either an adrenaline junkie, thrill seeker, or involved in something that had her on the run
I don’t know about Rex. I think society just took one look at him and pushed him away because his personality is weird. He’s honest and kind, almost too kind. It don’t help that he doesn’t look traditionally Japanese which will garner him a lot of unpleasant experiences
MTCCCCCCCCCCC HELL YEAH
love that theyre one of the few units shown actually going out and doing intel searching on their own
god the TDD flashbacks harken to the manga and thats so cool
There’s a lot of underline threads going on in here and its going to be hard keeping track of them. I hope that the anime doesn’t choke itself on all the threads
T.REX is hilarious i think i might actually grow to like him. he’s a dumb himbo
ah even more threads and previous connections. i really really really hope that everything is ties up nicely by the end of the season though that doesn’t seem plausible, not with only 5 episodes remaining
OH GOD WHY WAS YOTOSUJUJI BROUGHT UP NOW IM TEARING UP
ah of course robberies are going to happen on the day of the rap battle
That ruikawa guy is suspicious. it might be my INFP speaking but his kindness seems a bit weird
ah yeah red flags right there. he’s definitely one of the robbers or in cahoots with them
ah yeah hes a robber. theres no doubt about that. “ive found a place to release what builds up inside me”. thats crime isn’t it. the fact that he won’t talk about it just raises more red flags
ahahaha see i was right
hey at least it was doppo’s hardass boss. could be someone more innocent and less asshole-y
YOU JUST GAVE YOUR INDEITY AWAY ASSHOLE wow even doppo caught on
EYYYY SHINJIKU STYLE!!!!! HELL YEAH
Those stills are absolutely mesmerizing though. 
i love the sense of trust and mentorship between matenro with Jakurai as Hifumi and Doppo’s mentors. At least that’s the feeling I get with them ahaha
Doppo’s english is a bit harsh but also weirdly fits his style. im a bit mixed on it but with the whole song being more melancholic with english sprinkled in, it matches the theme
The song itself is such a mellow and soothing song though. Its different than Maternro’s usual work and its a good different. I love the subway and old timey imagery that came with the song and the image of a subway train lighting up the way to a new path is such a great way of showing that there are different paths and different destinations that one can take. Even if you take the same train, you can end up in a different place. The light imagery in particular is just so good since Ruikawa’s original line of the city being a beacon of light for him is mirrored in the song.
The lyrics especially are so soft and powerful with the imagery within the words being simultaneously rough and tumble but also soft and reassuring. It seems more like a lament or a elegy to a life that could have been if they had gotten on a different train. I love the lyrics, especially the chorus since it speaks of mundane things but things that everyone can understand and relate to
it also carries mad Spirited Away vibes. It’s also called Falling which I think is pretty fitting
the only thing that I don’t like about the song Jakurai’s vocal beats within his verse. Usually it works since there’s a big beatboxing feel to those beats but with Jakurai his lyrical rap doesn’t mesh well with the harsh guttural sounds beatboxing
The pain of having one of your few friends betray you hurts and wow this episode is out to make me feel a lot of sympathy for Doppo
SMILING DOPPO!!!
Hell yeah they actually had a plan and followed through with it
Did they just set up the MTC episode lmao. thats sneaky
OOh that beat change for FP ending is so nice!!
--
I think I’m only noticing this just now but the episode titles are all famous quotes from people/proverbs. 
Ep. 1) “As Soon as Man is Born, He Begins to Die“ This is an old proverb. Who said it I don’t know and a quick internet search gave me nothing, but its commonly said to convey the meaning that nothing lasts forever. IDK why this proverb was chosen since there’s no indication of any of the teams disbanding any time soon except for TDD era teams which have already happened
Ep. 2) “Speak of the Devil and He Will Appear“ Again, another old idiom which dates back to the 16th century. This one is probably about Ichiro and how he appears whenever he is called or whenever he is needed. Though it could be a overall commentary on how the brothers are reliable no matter the situation
Ep. 3) “Two Heads Are Better Than One” - John Heywood This quote describes DoHifu pretty well. Its because these two work and rely on each other that they’re able to not only make it through each day but also make each day worth living. Because they help each other, but they’re not the same, they’re better for it. This could also apply to MTR as a whole being a team where each member thinks outside the box and their ideas collectively make such an interesting team
Ep. 4) “A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed” This one is an 11th century proverb which explains that in times of need, true friends will show their colors. That's the main mentality behind MTC though I believe that it applies to Rio in particular for this episode. While the entirety of MTC are willing to help each other in times of need, in this episode it mainly focused on Samatoki and Rio’s plights and how the members as a whole show that they are all true friends to each other
Ep. 5) “Seeing is Believing” The origins of this quote is blurry but there the bible seems to be the origin of this statement believe it or not. While it does fit the episode’s theme of ghosts and how rumor's can harm people and businesses, it doesn’t really describe FP like the other quotes do the other teams. I find it odd, but I hope that FP are redeemed in their next feature episode. FP deserves better and are being done dirty in the anime.
Ep. 6) “He Who Laughs Last, Laughs Best” - The Christmas Prince. I think this one is pretty nice in describing not only the episode but the series as a whole. It doesn’t matter who’s winning in the begging, or the middle. The final outcome is what really matters. It’s pretty apt for the series since even though The Party of Words are winning currently, its who wins by the end of the series that matters. The episode encompasses this pretty well too with the whole plotline.
Ep. 7) “The Darkest Hour is Just Before the Dawn” Dating back to 1950 ish, this one carries the simple There is hope in the worst circumstances message. Again, its pretty suitable for the series as a whole since the Party of Words might be making life harsh, but there’s still hope to be found in the world.
Ep. 8) “Dead men tell no tales” - Thomas Becon. NGL, this one scares me because it can either apply to MTC, or the universe as a whole. We’ll just have to wait till next week to know for sure but i think we’ll get some Jyuto angst with his parents
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shytiff · 3 years
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Apr 2021 Wins
Started typing this on 4th apr lmaooo
1 - went to mcd. bought chicken + rice with the app promo. there’s a staff helping me on the order machine lol i feel badd there’s no need to do thatt. ate my lunchmade by mom at mcd’s muschola and went to sbux bcs its tumbler day. green tea latte w skim milk as usual. sent dr triya’s translation. ecmocard. started rereading goong (AGAIN. i probably have read it like 3 times minimum). still bring some feels
2 - its holiday today. spent almost the whole daylight rereading goong (turns out its pronounce ‘gung’ not ‘gong’ lol ive been wrong all this time) and finished it. the scene where they stare at each other, separated by the castle door, always gets me. got the old ipad charged (the screen are like 30% close to detaching and falling apart) and started AOT
3 - spent the whole day reading AOT. i like it when i have mini purposes in life (eg: finishing a manga series). AOT rly talks a lot about what do you want to do in life, the consequences of your choices and how you have to live with it. i felt triggered in a good way. the characters dont rly judge other’s choices, but they question them. discuss about it. give you some moral push. second gladi today. my vbg was still filpped hhhh. read aot until i felt sleepy and fell asleep. woke up very near subuh and prayed isya. my toxic trait is the horrible self care (and im talking bare minimum lol hehe lmao)
4 - finished aot. Asked irun about some aot explanations and she sent 5 paragraphs in one bubble. Slept. Flavola, kopsus coklat and somay. Also ate japota honey butter. Did 1 long input of ecmocard. Followed baepsae choreo. Moved my body a bit. Wow im not immediately sleeping. Amazing
5 - arrived at harkit 11-ish and went back about 1pm loll. super hungry when im arriving in kalideres. bought tahu colek worth 3000 (i wonder how the seller hears me through my 2 layers of mask), roti sisir and some ice cream in alfamidi. my fitlife protein powder ran out again. its my 2nd already. did some ecmocard, wasted my time after maghrib
6 - woke up late. did not have the mental strength to go to harkit so i decided to just stay home. bought sbux 1L green tea and macchiato. wasted the daylight and finally did some ecmocard in the evening,,,,
7 - off to harkit 7.30-ish pm in the rain. Took some data for ecmocard. Went to salemba to get tabung and surat bebas pustaka. Had breakfast slash lunch first, tried guudfuud (red rice, beef and omega egg). I like that the rice was not too much. Met up w ness ren and talked about isip dilemmas at sky. Afterwards went to flavola. Ordered mie rebus and roasted milk tea cause i somehow feel sooo hungry and in need of calories. It tasted so good, i was sitting in my usual seat facing the window, and the sky was a mixture of blue and grey. Brought croissant and sakura pocky at indomart. Ate the bread immediately after indomie. Went back home. Juan brought tahu gejrot that was delicious and crunchy. Internship files briefing by akis. Fell asleep
8 - woke up. Saw that dr retha was up for interview. Panicked. Thankfully it was at 12. I left home at 9:40 ish and arrived 11:50. Its a long ass way. Turns out i was interviewed with ka agassi. The doctors are so kind. They explained the gist of anesthesiology profession, and how its a choice you make, and its okay as long as you like what you do. Tried halo bowl for lunch. Sous vide chicken, rice, caesar sauce, beef bacon, and the deliciouss butter broccoli. Went back to kalideres and to starbucks. I only spent <2 hrs in there (a waste of money, i know). Bought decaf hazelnut latte (apparently the beans were kenyan something? Medium?) and butter croissant (need to cushion my stomach). Did GCP certification and sent it to the ever so kind mba Ai. Still got energy from the caffeine, did some ecmocard, read quran, read.... Toji fanfic 🤦‍♀️
9 - went to rsf w mom. We took the wrong way and had to take the long way but thank god theres still time to spare. Met dr rara. Some briefing. Went to rscm w agassi, submitted files for ijazah, went back to RSF. Girlll the cost of transport. MRT: 12K. Grab: 16-17k. Thats one way trip. Bought food at rsf canteen. Eocru briefing by the research coordinator. Ward tour w dr retha. Snacked on ovaltine provided by mba ai. Went home after maghrib by tj. Liqo along the way. Glad bersih (came late). Drank macchiato for some strength but still fell asleep quickly.i shouldnt have laid down
10 - kebakaran jenggot in the morning due to green screen positioning. Finally got the appropriate setup (after many fabric tries and cutting my mukena) at 08:30. Finished showering 08:45. Zoom was opened at 9 lmao. Somehow finished before 09:30. Zoompah w mom and dad along side me. After its ovee, some "photoshoot" w fam. At this point i was truly rly sleepy. Took of my makeup. Changed my clothes. And then racil silv dev showed up lol. I got gifts c: and then atikah came. And then i redid my makeup, this time with the help of friends to create fantastic eye make up look (which i can never pull off). Eyebrows by sil, eyeshadow and liner by cheldev lol. Took some photos. Dajen came. Talked. Videocalled w pupuy. A surprise gift from fianti came. And then chel dajen went back at 8. Still cant sleep. Slept at like 11-12
11 - lazed. Woke up, ate pizza (mom bought 2 of phd's 1m pizza) and bakwan, slept again. Matcha latte and ecmocard. Watched a bit of 2nd sinau
12 - off to rsf at 06:20. Arrived 07:15 ish. Lunch was ayam penyet accompanied by snacks that mba ai bought. Off to harkit at 14:05 (bcs my laptop somehow shut down and i lost all the unsubmitted data). And then off to kalideres at 15:30 ish to meet up w clara and search for clothes for almira's wedding. Went to lippo bcs clar saw this dress that kinda looks like the brokat given. We ate at ramen ya. It doesnt rly make you feel full, the filliny sensation was kinda like indomie. Saw that the dress looked different. Ate 1 boba pancake together at banban. Continued on to the tailor in kebon jeruk. The location was in an alley, and it was raining lol. Quoting clara: "the unnecessary struggles". The tailor was quite helpful (and she looks experienced). Arrived at clara's at 8 ish. Picked up by mom with car (it was raining) and arrived at abt 9. Hurriedly showered and tarawih and tidied up AND ITS ONLY 09:45. Its crazy how efficient one use time (and at the same time, how wasteful one can be)
13 - first day of fasting. The morning was spent taking samples. I stupidly took a sample thats not yet labeled im sorry :(((( i felt kinda tired and wanted to give up this. Give up anesthesia. Went back home at 14:00 and its cloudy. The bus was the nicer types and it was COLD. Read quran along the way. Picked up by juan. Opened laptop. And then its iftar time. I was sooo sleey and the tarawih was so long thst i closed my eyes along the way. Fianti called after tarawih, we talked til abt 21:30. And then i fell asleep
14 - went to rscm. Submitted serkom files. Met dr dyah and i hope we could somehow meet her again if we study in fkui again aamiin. Went to rsf by mrt. Arrived in lebak bulus just before it was raining. The bus took a while to arrive (usually theyre there, waiting). Its still raining like crazy so i took grabcar to AR from pesakih (39k). Played with my phone til iftar. Played phone again after tarawih and fell asleep
15 - i felt rlyy lazy and cant bring myself to wake up. Off to rsf at 07:15. There were coordinator ppl. Took sample. It was raining when i went back but i took grabbike from kalideres. Wasted my time and did not do ecmocard
16 - sampling. Snacked on keripik pisang at the room. Went back early at 13:15 ish. Picked up by juan. Sleeeept (and this is before the nightmareish mistake began)
17 - i did a mistake by telling dr retha (who took the sample today) the wrong patient (it switched in my unreliable memory. I feel terrible. Thank god shes quite chill abt it (?). Read jujutsu kaiseeen. Went to flavola. Did 1 ecmocard. Went to bandar jakarta baywalk by motorbike. Spent 135k and was quite full with many varieties. Arrived home at about 20:50. Turns out juan also had bukber with his friends. Phone call with fiiii, talked abt dimrob
18 - lazed all day, read jjk, finished my part of ecmocard (gave genky to ekal cause i was a dumbass at getting data). Ate mom's mentai rice, siomay. Drank green tea latte. Read jjk til 145 (mentok) at night. Proceeds to consume all things jjk lmaoo
19 - we took sooo long to get samples. Finished at 13:00. Went to rm with dr rara. Went back home. Watched the third sinau. Read the IMMACULATE jjk fics by celestialmechanics im IN LOVEEEE with the way s/he writes ughhhh
20 - samples took faster than usual. Mba ai did not came today. Went to RM and did some work there. Off to AR by 15:00. Arrived close to maghrib. Did not do any work afterwards lmao. Did not even wash my face
21 - magang as usual. Note to self: sit on the right side of the bus. Did nothing yesterday. Felt like shit after tarawih (but i showered before maghrib!!)
22 - todays problem was the swab sample not being there even though the staff allegedly already took it. Huft. Took a shower and out on vitacid (i cant remember the kast time i put on vitacid 😳 its probably been... a week or two?
23 - samples finished quite quickly. Already going home at 12. Lazedddd and lazed and lazed. Waited for emir to pick me up so i went to dm. Read an immaculate itadori x megumi fix thats just full of feels. Started demon slayer lets see
24 - literally just laid in bed reading manga and seeing tiktok and slept again and suddenly its 1 am. Showered. Still in a lazy mode. Havent begun clires work. Watched leah's vlog that said "go do things youve been putting off!". Finally finished the third and last video of Sinau Yuk ICU class with dr. Zeta, SpAn lolll even though the actual last class was on 7th apr. iftar was fish and chips and salad yuum
25 - woke up at like 1am since i slept too much yesterday. Ate tan ek tjoan bread and drank sbux matcha latte. Did some intern work. Read a bit of quran. Sahur. Cant even sleep again so i showered. Off with mom and dad (09:30) since dad’s going to get vaccinated at skk migas. Mom drove me to ara’s place (11:00). Talked a bit and even read quran again there. Off to GI (13:00) to meet up w regen. Walked around. Bought a discounted TBS green tea facial wash. Went back home by TJ (16:00). the bus station is a bit closer now. Arrived home close to maghrib (17:30). hurriedly showered and went to sleep (properly) after tarawih. A good good sleep since i got 9400 steps today and that tired me out lmaooo (bare minimum yall, i know). 
26 - woke up still sleepy. Slept again after iftar and woke up at 07:30. Skipped shower and off to RSF lmao. Went to medical record. Walked to the front of RSF originally planning to go to lebak bulus by angkot but i saw none. So i went through mrt instead. Stopped by at kebon jeruk and walked 800 meter (that tireeed me and made me feel parched under the sun) to risma busana for clothes fitting. Took gojek to jembatan gantung (turns out the closer halte to flyover was taman kota). Iftar was chicken noodle and risol and banana and i felt fullll and i slept
27 - today is off day since im alternating with agassi. read quran. watched shadow and bone (with 1,5x speed except for kanej and matthias nina scenes). didnt rly do any magang work except the table asked by dr retha. i feel like usually im operating on 70%. sleeping more doesnt rly add that. i need caffeine or physical activity. before i know it, its close to iftar.
28 - i ((felt)) like i had a decent amount of energy today. shouldve done some work between sahur and leaving the house but i ended up reading vampire knight lmaoooo the scenes had no business bringing so much butterflies. sampling together w agassi. mba ai didnt come in today. after agassi left did some magang work. i also went to RM to ask for more RM to bu dian. took angkot to lebak bulus for the first time. paid 5k. i had no idea which angkot went to lebak bulus and the driver (somehow knowing the right words to say) said “lebak bulus lebak bulus”. didnt read much quran on the way back. i just close my eyes and relaxed. felt kinda low on sugar. watched more shadow and bone on the way back and at home until close to iftar. didnt do anything after tarawih. slept hoping i woke up early (which i did, at 3am. but i slept again)
29 - im supposed to have ample energy but i just stuck around my bed until its time to get ready to go. read some kanej fic lol. I dont rly do anything productive after arriving home
30 - made intern log, magang as usual. Did not go to rm. Finished watching shadow and bone. Rested bcs tomorrow's saturdayyy
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zephyr-94 · 5 years
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barista!jaemin
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inspired by the one and only, puff live!
a/n: this is my first ever fic omg pls spare me with my low writing skills cause ive literally never done this fjskdjdhjdks okay i just love na jaemin periodt. (after writing: ITS VERY JUMPY AND LENGTHY I DIDNT PLAN TO MAKE IT LIKE THIS DJSKJSJSS)
so like your aunt owns a cafe which is in the middle of the city
and you live a lil outside just cause you know, school n shit
you visit her so often cause its a small cafe and it calms you down whenyou need a short break from everything
its weird thats its in the middle of the city but its still calming right?
well okay so like you know those small streets down the neighbourhoods?
the ones you dont really go unless you are rlly feeling adventurous n shit, your aunt’s cafe is in one of those streets
okay longass context down
and at school, you are in a photography club,,, or technically you just learn photography from your teacher after school but its not a whole club extravaganza
just cause your school kinda demands an extra curricular after the first year
but it feels really suffocating to be forced to do smth as a group/with people you arent as familiar with,,,,
so you “signed up” for the smallest club: [photography theory]
it was about time you start doing your hobby-ish thing at school and the tutor was cool with you being practically the only student in the club lmao so everything was going well but
youve never rlly done anything big yourself and your school friends havent pushed you to do smth either
so you were kind of looking to at least take part in one out-of-class project initiated by students maybe
and theres this big school newspaper club/writers’ club,,,, and you find out that they are like !! photographers & stories wanted !!
and you ?? at first but apparently its a project where like students get to submit their fav pic & write a mini article about “your place of comfort”
cause the topic of the month is mental health/dealing with stress and the newspaper club wants a students’ view on it, instead of just “meditation” as a topic
then you just have that cafe in your mind like,,, how you would love to shoot the street light shining into the cafe from afar and how calm that place makes you feel,,,
basically you just love your auntie’s cafe lmao
so then you go on about maybe joining it,,, but then you be indecisive cause youve never actually taken a photo professionally you just have a prolonging passion for it,,,
and your teacher is like “y/n idk why you are contemplating no ones gonna judge you just try smth new, go take the chance if you are feeling like it”
we love a supportive johnny, oh yes your english teacher is your photography “club” tutor,,, self proclaimed club
actually there have been many opportunities in the past with taking photos for projects like this one but you just stayed away cause it didnt “motivate” you to take photos for it
so johnny’s words kinda pushed your back n you felt like this was the right thing :))
so then you visit your auntie on the weekends asking maybe if you can take pics & ask her a couple questions about this place
and shes like ofc!! wanna see how you capture this place :))
so then you do this whole process and you submit the article & photos,,,,,
which ends up getting a whole page???
and you are like wh a t
newspaper club: oh you submitted many such pretty pictures & your comment felt very genuine
and you :)) but damn a whole page,,,, you is a lil anxious djskdjdh now the entire schools now going to know you
johnny the hype man teacher: see i told you it was going to turn out nice
and then kaboom, your article lowkey blows up lmao
your auntie is calling you up like “y/n!! so many customers came today!! and a lot of them are wearing the same uniform as you, they must be the students from your school!!”
and shes so happy so you are happy af
but then you remember like,,,, shes never had a part timer,,,,,
and she continues to manage the place by herself after it gets popular among the students,,,,
?? auntie,,, you never take a break ??
shes like maybe ill think about hiring someone?? and you are like, that would be good for you :)) i will be less worried about your health!!
whoop guess who got hired
and after youve had that^ conv, you had constant classes n group projects n shit so you literally had no time,,,
two weeks later, kinda highkey stressed
you decide to go make a quick visit to auntie before going to the library to study
and you peek,,, to see not your auntie,,,,
but a boy?? 
just standing behind the counter,,, no auntie to be seen but a beautiful boy???
before the opening hours,,,, he?? must be the part timer,,,
and once he notices you by the door,
he just smiles at you,,, so brightly,,,,
wow youve never seen such a pretty face,,,
you actually like forget to open the door you are just staring from outside the cafe,,,,
and he just waves,,, and you snap back to reality like oh shit did i just stare at someone for a solid minute
welp that was embarrassing djkdjdfj
he opens the door for you and goes “hey you must be y/n :))”
“the only person who comes before 9am, thats you isnt it?”
and you just ?¿ confusion??¿
“auntie told me about it :)) hi, nice to meet you, im jaemin!!”
you are still confused but you just shake hands next to the counter,,,
and as you take a seat
jaemin just makes a smol run to the other side and hes like
“you came just in time, i want you to try my latte!!”
jaemin serves a cup of latte with a leaf art
this boy just served a latte first thing after shaking hands i-
you take a sip from the cup
and you are like,,, so auntie hired an experienced boy,,,,
“its really good,,,” it has the same comforting taste you always love
and jaemin just has the biggest smile :)))) you know his smile where the ends just curl in, yes that one
him beaming like that just makes you giggly inside,,,,
you ask him “so uh um im guessing you are the part timer??”
“yes!! i didnt introduce myself properly did i! i started working here two weeks ago :))
ive been coming here for quite a while now so im happy i got the chance!!”
and you ?¿ “ive never seen you here??” you are the most frequent customer youve gotta have seen him before fjsksj
hes like “oh um i always came at 9pm on a friday, after everyone leaves and the whole neighbourhood gets quiet”
you just :o
and come to think of it, you’ve never visited here on a friday night,, cause you know, friday evening is your im not doing anything tonight kinda me time lmao
inside you are kinda happy that someone who knows this place got hired like its a special place to you so
tbh you were kinda anxious even though you trust your aunt,,,,,
and jaemin hurriedly goes “oh and also auntie is taking a break today, shes out to the market so im gonna take over until she returns in the afternoon”
djskdj auntie why didnt she tell you lmao
“im sorry if you needed anything specific from her,,, you should stay for a while until she comes back maybe?”
and you are like,,, “oh that would be great,,, but unfortunately i have to go to the library,,,,”
jaemin: ): he pout
“im so glad you came today tho!! i wanted to see you :) auntie has told so many thing about you”
“wait,, what has she told you,, omg”
apparently shes told jaemin
a) reason why this cafe recently became a popular hideout cafe for students because you wrote a school article bout it
b) that you do photography
c) and that this cafe is your break time so you never study here and auntie loves listening to you talk about school n what not
and then you are like !!
“wait so then you dont go to our school ,,,um are you also a student?”
and you panic a little cause i mean you just met him but you literally know nothing and you mightve assumed things fjsksj
and jaemin tells you “ah yes i go to a hospitality school downtown” “ohh”
and from there he just starts talking about his school and what he studies
he asks you about school but jaemin is extra excited about his hospitality course hes all !! :))!!
and you are so hooked on jaemin talking about his school you forget an hour passes by,,,,
[time to open the cafe]
then the customers start coming in
and you are like “oh sorry ive just bothered you during the preparation time,,,,, it was nice meeting you!! gotta go now :))”
and you rush out cause all you planned to do was give your auntie a little visit
also you dont want to bother jaemin cause its hes gonna handle the place alone for a couple hours
you wave a smol see you soon and
jaemin just does a little chuckle,, and hes like waving so widely fjsksj does he know other people can see him
and thats how your first day with jaemin went
later that day you return home thinking like,,, did you just get so excited to converse with someone who you juSt met,,,
na jaemin’s power
and jaemin on the other hand, is thinking about how beautiful you looked today
just that short while but it made him so happy
hes thinking about you all week uwu
so next week you visit again, expecting to see your auntie
and maybe also that gleaming boy
peeking through before the opening hours
the moment jaemin realises you hes like “y/n!!” what a shining boy
and aunties like “oh y/n right you met him last week when i was out right”
that morning you just talk to auntie about what shes been missing on after you went on a busy week
mind that jaemin is literally just listening to you & auntie talk
and he enjoys it cause you talk so comfortably in front of her :))
you decide to stay the whole day to give yourself a break
which meant you moved to your usual spot by the window
and auntie serving you (free) vanilla latte
you take out your camera and just start adjusting the lenses, trying to find the right frame
customers come and go so you dont get to talk to jaemin a lot that day
but its not like you came here for him,,,, right?¿??¿??
while you were thinking all that
jaemin was asking about you all day like
“so y/n’s favourite is vanilla?”
“does y/n prefer a latte over cappuccino?”
“i want to serve y/n something,,,, what would be the best??”
auntie: how many times did he mention y/n today omg
and as auntie answers
jaemin is thinking like
i wanna see y/n smile
and the entire day your auntie is like !!he :)))))
lmao same auntie same
so when the peak hours finish she goes
“i can take care of everything now, go talk to y/n”
and jaemin just smiles brighter than ever
so when he comes around, you startle
but it puts a smile on your face
because hes brought your favourite cake and just a smiling jaemin in front of you uwu
you both get to know more about each other like
how theres this two boys named chenle & jisung in the preparatory course whom he adores to death
or like
theres this jeno boy whose jokes suck jeno i love you
with a bonus of
you talking about how johnny’s english class is nothing but a comedian’s lesson
so that day went great
and now that you are comfortable
you visit the cafe to talk with jaemin more
even when you have a chill no stress week
it just makes you feel lighter by coming to the cafe now
and your auntie is hella happy that you two are getting along so well
it continues for weeks
just you and jaemin talking from time to time when the peak hours are over or before the cafe opens
you became best pals basically
he encouraged you to join more school projects cause hes sure your photography is worth the chance
you giving him daily support when he feels like he isnt doing the best for his course
sometimes when your aunt had to leave for a couple hours near closing time
you two just stayed there talking for a couple hours giving comfort to each other
late night lattes and cakes
also one time you got so excited from the bestest grades you got you might have hugged him without thinking oops
and one day, jaemin’s friend renjun is there when you come after school
and hes like “hi uh dont mind me im just here a bit because jaemin has to go somewhere after this and i dont want him to be late”
so you just,,, chill as jaemin kinda rushes
and when he goes to the storage room, you just see renjun getting along with the auntie lmao
auntie: “so i got offered this contract with the new type of beans? and idk if i should take it because that would mean i have to go out of the city,,,,”
renjun: “for how long?”
auntie: “two weeks maybe”
renjun: “oh thats fine, dont worry about it. jaemin can take over that. next two weeks right? his mandatory work experience ends this week”
so thats how renjun signed jaemin up to work alone for auntie without his consent
and aunties like “y/n!! it would be so much for just jaemin, you should help him :) your break starts next week right?”
so you also got signed up to this thing
fast forward to first day of break
aka the first time you “work” there
you are nervous and jaemin can feel it
“dont worry y/n, ill do all the talking and coffee, you just have to serve & clean!!”
so you try to calm down a bit
not to mention that you are also nervous cause its only jaemin and you in the room
but then he sees you fumbling with tying the apron and
jaemin says “here, give it, ill do it for you” while smiling a little
and from the back he wraps the apron around your waist,,,
and hes so close to you,,, your heart is fluttering
okay heart stop beating so fast pls thank you
and little do you know,,, jaemin is flushing a bit behind your back,,,
you are both the cutest mess
and you break the silence with a smol
“thanks :))”
trying to contain yourself from screaming
adapting to the serving side & keeping youself busy
you dont realise jaemin is literally admiring you the entire time as you get used to the job,,,,
here and then you forget how close you might be standing next to jaemin,,,
you kinda also realise how rEALLY attractive he looks serving everyone with a huge smile 24/7
and the way some customers are obviously attracted to him,,,,
but what you dont know is he is literally taking this chance to highkey flirt with you lmao
waves (sometimes winks) across the room
causally hovers over you when you cant find/reach smth
beaming the biggest smile every minute he gets to himself
and at first you panicked like ?!????
cause was this jaemin boy holding back for a whole month
is this his nature yes
but it makes you so happy to see him smiling all the time beside you
so jaemin yes its working
you gotta admit tho his flirty-ish behaviour grew on you this entire week djskjssj
a week of giggly smiles uwu
but the week after was unexpectedly the busiest of the busiest
you two forgot national holidays collided with the weekends and for some, it was a week off,,,,,,
so the week rushes by so quickly compared to the last one
it kind saved you tho cause your heart cant take more of that flirty behaviour
and finally,
the peak days are over,,,
and you realise its been a while since the cafe was just you,,,, and well jaemin but just no customers
the silence with faint sounds of cups cluttering,,,, you missed it
so then you go sit on the high chair
just admiring jaemin organise the shelves
he starts to prepare a new cup of coffee then realises you smiling at him “were you in awe at how effortless i look right now??”
you chuckle at his remark,,,
(needless to say that your are chuckling to hide how your heart is melting at his smirky smile)
so you twirl a bit shyly,, and avert the gaze to the familiar wood of the counter
asking him “do you remember the day we first saw each other, me sitting here and you serving the latte?”
“ofc, its the day i met an angel”
oh so confidently na jaemin really just said that
you quickly look up at him like !!!?!???!
and thats how he earned a first kiss (or rather a peck) from you
leaning over the counter and pecking you, a whole blushy mess
then comes a clink by the door
you juMp,,,,,,,
oof the customer may or may not have seen you two
you both rush around flushed like a tomato lmao
spending the rest of the day like nothing happened oops
and after the day ends, you two close the cafe
as you starting walking you are caught off guard when
jaemin just takes your hand,,,
“look y/n!! the stars are so pretty!!”
and starts swinging your arm like a tall child,,,
your heart is skippingnsjsjsjs
then at the corner, jaemin turns around and goes
“this is actually the place i first saw you”
and you ??¿?¿¿
“i saw you taking the photo of this night light shining into the cafe”
still hand in hand, jaemin steps a little closer
and takes his free hand to cup your face, kissing you,,,,
you smile into him as he kisses so softly, thinking
maybe the day i took that photo was a friday night
and melting into the kiss, you really think you are dreaming,,,,,
under the lights you once wished capturing a sparkling moment with the cafe in the back
its now you and jaemin in the frame,,,,
the boy who had you forgetting to breathe a month ago
whos now serving your favourite latte with a bonus of pecks on the cheek,,,,, (maybe on the lips if theres no one watching)
anyways
jaemin brings light to your life and you have never been this happy until you met him uwu
and it goes both ways, jaemin cant live without you now,,,, you are the best thing thats ever happened to him
(thank the heavens & your auntie)
oh and also johnny for pushing you to submit that article lmao plus huang renjun for that involuntary sign up
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endwalkr · 5 years
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this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !
Favorite video game?
starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.
First console you owned?
my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.
A game that holds a special place in your heart?
ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc.  super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’) 
Favorite video game character?
bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda. 
Least favorite video game character?
i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all. 
Favorite genre?
adventure games, or action rpgs. 
Video game character you’ve had a crush on?
every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now
First video game you remember playing?
wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)
Age you started gaming?
so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.
Hardest video game you’ve played?
this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game
Video game you’ve spent the most time on?
i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)
Most embarrassing gaming moment?
many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.
Scariest video game you’ve played?
i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd
Most memorable gaming moment?
playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh
Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?
…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie
PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?
i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks
Gaming company you’re most loyal to?
none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.
If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?
atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice. 
Do you use strategy guides?
yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol
How often do you use cheats?
never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.
Competitive or single player?
single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.
Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?
have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers 
Ever go to a video game convention?
i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing. 
Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?
the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1. 
Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?
the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs 
Favorite gaming series?
see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me. 
Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?
i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them. 
Best online gaming experience?
one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj 
Worst online gaming experience?
i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)
Why do you game?
it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.
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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years
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surveys 047.
What was the last thing to upset you? just kile changing. it shouldnt upset me, it’s obvious we are changing and growing apart. it just bothers me, nonetheless.
How’s the weather been today? It’s going to be a high of 76 today
What was the first tattoo you got or what would be the first tattoo you’ll get? when I was younger I wanted those white tattoos. I don’t want anything now. I’m good with au-natural skin lol. I do wonder if Kile will ever get one.
What was the last store you went into and did you buy anything? I can’t recall what store I last went to
Have you ever been late for school or work? never for school. Work I was one time because of an accident ahead of me but that was nbd.
Do you prefer to shower in the morning or at night? morning typically if I want my hair to be decent.
Do you dip your pretzels in anything? gosh I miss pretzels.
What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? uhhhhhh no real preference
Is there a basement in your house? If so, what is it used for? yep yep. its got a spare bedroom, a laundry area, a bathroom, and a storage closet. It also leads out to the garage.
When was the last time you were intoxicated? my birthday
Have you been swimming today? No. I really would give just bout anything to swim.
Is your phone fully charged at the moment? No, it’s at 81 percent
Have you driven a car today? yes
When was the last time you felt extremely nervous? tonight when waiting for responses from kile regarding questions. When was the last time you cried? Tonight. I hard sobbed, which I thought maybeeee, maybe just maybe I was past this stage with Kile but I’m so not. He maybe?? thought or realized I was genuine about leaving, given the fact I am more and more and more withdrawn. So he asked about us talking, since that’s the big thing we could tackle instead of just harshly cutting ties. He has avoided talking about this since I found out about everything.. I think it gives him a lot of anxiety to unpack just how much hurt he’s caused. I can empathize with that. But I can’t just gloss over this huge trauma like it meant nothing. So we talked a little bit and he assumed I was judging (which is one of my absolute least favorite things he accuses me of) and then when I explained I wasnt, he said he was just being sensitive and he was sorry. for whatever reason, I just.. i feel like a balloon that’s been popped. my heart just desires him so badly but he has these barriers and now I have a million of my own barriers and I hate having barriers with him. ive worked so hard for so long to break those down and now theres more than I can count and I just.. i want to understand. I want to stop the feelings that I’m not worth the truth. Like i’ve been kept in the dark for 6+ years and now that I’m told some things, I’m still kept in the dark. I just can’t win. there’s nothing left for me and it just wrecked me. I sobbed, I couldn’t breathe. my heart hurtssssssssss. i just want him to be here and fix it and he can’t. what do you do when the one person who could stop the hurt, causes it?
Do you have a small, medium or large bedroom? My room is extremely small. I have hardly any room on either side of the bed.
Where was your first job and how old were you? nannying at 15
Have you eaten soup this week? no
Have you ever made your own survey? years ago Do you know your birthstone and if so, do you have any jewellery containing it? ruby. I have no ruby jewelry sadly.
What colour is your hairbrush? uhhh black and blue
Do you hear any other people talking right now? max just proposed to lorelai in gilmore girls.
Are you a fan of The Office? yes. I just have no desire to watch it rn cus I am not in a humor mood and I think it would ruin it for me.
When was the last time you started a new medication? years.
What is your favourite type of nut? pistachios
Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? aurelios in homewood
Do you know what year your parents married? if I stopped and did the math. 
Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? only when I was at someone elses house. we didnt have cable til i was 17
Would you ever shave your head to raise money for cancer? maybe
Did you watch Breaking Bad as it aired or did you catch up later on? never watched
Is there anything you’re looking forward to at the moment? i would give just about anything to repair things with kile but that looks like its over.
Do you know anyone who doesn’t have a middle name? Yup. my brother, nephew, dad, and his late dad all have the same name and it contains no middle name.
What is your fast food place of choice? buona
How close is the nearest Starbucks from your house? like 5-6 mins
Have you ever played in the snow? errrr year
Do you know anyone who was adopted? mhmm
Do you write shopping lists on paper or just remember it in your head? paper. I would never get all the items for all three of us without visuals
Have you put your phone on silent today? yeah. so this is embarrassing but hey, it is what it is. I changed kiles notification tone to something loud and noticeable so I would be alerted that it wasn’t just another blah text. but then I would be devastated to not hear it. so now for my own sanity it’s on silent. just as well, i’m not hearing anything from him.
Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? MANY of them. if not all.
Have you been to the mall today? I don’t think i’ve been to the mall since maybeeeee.. 2016?
Have you ever watched Scrubs? If so, did you like it? no
Do you prefer loose leaf tea or teabags? Teabags.
How often do you check your emails? like every day or every other day.
Do you read John Green novels? I’ve read a few of his books.
What was the last thing you purchased at a supermarket? diabetic socks lol
Have you ever used a lawnmower? yes
Have you ever played QuizUp on iOS? I don’t have apple.
Have you ever consumed so much alcohol that you vomited? once. it was worth it tho
Have you ever been to Thailand? No.
Have you ever been to Universal Studios? Yes.
Have you had a bath this week? no, our bathtub is broken.
Do you like pumpkin pie? very much so.
Do you know anyone who smokes in their car? Yeahhhhhhh. blegh.
Have you ever seen a shooting star? I have
Can you tie balloons? I can. I can do it quite fast, which is convenient. every year we blow up these enormous balloon arches for the kids bdays, its about 200+ balloons and i hand tie every single one. my fingers ache for days, but hey.
What is your favourite place to get Chinese food? number 1 chop suey or pf changs
When was the last time you were at a pet store? its been a minute. i would give my left lung to get a golden retriever puppy. 
Do you do a big weekly shop or just shop for groceries as you need them? it usually is weekly.. ish?
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identitycris1s · 3 years
Text
im back
hi just thought id pop in with a status update! maybe i’ll break this down into categories. feel like im doing an email update (ew!) but this rly is probs the best way to structure this post...
work / school (?)
work has been....aite. idk what to say. idk if i have unrealistic expectations of what work is supposed to be, but the idealist in me thinks its wrong to not even try and find something that seems meaningful / is deeply fulfilling. i think im mature enough to get that work isnt supposed to be fun / exciting every single day but bro this daily grind / sense of dread / utter disinterest / feeling of futility / frustration / disenchantment surely isnt the correct state of affairs.....at least let me try and find something that is a better fit, thats more stimulating, that feels more NATURAL to me? i just dont think im cut out to be a lawyer. sure i sometimes like arguing and making my point and i like that everyone i work with is smart and interesting and generally kind and reasonable and i like the prestige of the job and feeling like ppl respect me and i like the decent pay and the humane hours but.....i feel unmotivated to be a good lawyer. i think i find it difficult / disingenuous to always 100% get behind my client and advocate for their best interests. i tend to see things from a zoomed out perspective, like WHY are we fighting, WHY cant we just settle, WHY are the claimants pursuing this absolutely crap and unmeritorious claim and WHY do we have to defend it when its stupid and bound to fail (cos access2justice i guess but still, WHY), WHY cant we just hash things out in a meeting instead of sending emails here and there and wasting time, WHY do we have to answer stupid questions, WHY WHY WHY
and i think public policy is sort of an answer to that....i think theres more questioning of why we do things and why a policy will or will not work, in a macro sense - what is good for society at large. whereas in law (at least in litigation) its how can we just move this case forward and help the client, which is often not the most productive thing to do in a macro sense - very much a zero sum game. i get that shitty / unmeritorious claims still need to be defended against and someone has to do it and I GET IT but i just dont think i want to be that person defending these claims...or bringing them for that matter.....ultimately i cant fully / sincerely separate the overarching sense of futility from the duty to do a good job.
sigh. well at least ive kind of figured out this isnt for me. which is scary cos being a lawyer in this firm is pretty much a career for life - truly an iron rice bowl, i could probably make partner in maybe 4 or 5 years and live a comfortable upper middle class life...but i cant bring myself to do that. i cant bring myself to not give myself a shot at doing something i actually find interesting, stimulating and that i care about deeply. call me crazy! we’ll see where this brings me in 5 years’ time....:) 
anyway most ppl at work (at least in my team) know that im most likely gonna leave soon. i rly only told 2 ppl (my boss cos he had to sign off on my testimonial and G cos she was quitting anyway)...but somehow ppl found out one way or another. i dont rly mind and ppl have been taking it pretty well and have been kind and encouraging (i guess why would they not take it well, im hardly indispensable) but i get a bit antsy thinking - what if i dont get in...then what? do i just put my head down and continue here (BUT IM SO SAD) or do i just quit without any prospects and try to find a policy-ish job??
idk. will have faith that God will put me where I need to be. he is in control of it all and I BELIEVE THIS !!! I am just a bit scared that his plan is different from what i  think i want....but this is just my human instinct and i know in my head that there is no reason to be scared cos his plan is always the better one. head knowledge just needs to translate to heart understanding and real trust / faith.
ermmm relationships...???
i started using...cmb...idk why i find this so cringey. i guess about a year ago i couldnt imagine doing this and i kept thinking EW what if ppl i know see me and they think im a desperate saddo who cant find a bf irl and has to resort to an app EW shes so lame and ugly and gross. and i realised that is so stupid no one actually thinks that way and its very backward and dumb and insecure of me to be thinking that. and anyway as i get older i rly dont quite give a shit what ppl think of me (at least i tell myself that....)
i suppose i was also inspired by csm who has been quite actively using apps and meeting ppl and taking real..strides..(LOL) in her dating life. i used to tell myself hey God will provide u with a mans if he wants u to be with a mans. but also God can use an app to do that...and if i dont step out in faith that he will do something and i dont take any action at all, how is God gonna work?? should i sit at home and expect a man to fall into my lap??
for some ppl it has been way easier, e.g. my parents meeting in uni and falling i love. i always wanted that - the organic relationship, the meet-cute, the friends to lovers thing. (i guess i tried that last one before and it didnt work...) but i think theres no point in romanticising relationships anymore. thats a very modern thing to do and its not necessarily a good thing? like who’s to say a relationship that had organic beginnings is intrinsically better than one that started from an app?
anyway i havent had much luck haha i think its hard to find genuine GCBs (or maybe theyre just not attracted to me....) although recently ive been talking to this one guy B for a week or two and its been...ok i guess. hes rly nice and seemed cool at first - we talked about travelling and hamilton and the office, which was a good start. he is thoughtful and kind and doesnt seem to be put off by my very slow replies (he replies so fast......its stressful a bit) and he does the whole good morning text thing (which i frankly find a bit bizarre, we barely know each other..?? and ive never even met him irl.. but its sweet i guess :))
but DUDE his english seems to be not great - at least thats the impression i get from texting him. which is an issue for me. i dont want it to be BUT IT IS...first red flag was when he said some weird thing about not wanting to wear a mask at work (not a literal mask - like he didnt know if he could be his ‘true self’) and the wording was very strange. then he said “the weekends are almost here” ?? the weekend is not a plural though? then he used the wrong tense a few times and his apostrophe usage was wrong (”Gods’ love” - bro there is one God). he also uses way too many commas which irks me.
i mean i get that text is supposed to be an informal medium - come on look at this post, there r hardly any capital letters and plenty of short forms and hardly any apostrophes but u see its CONSISTENT and its obviously cos of laziness / convenience - but i think his problem is a bit different...u can sort of tell if someone doesnt have a 100% strong grasp of english. those r basic grammar mistakes man...i get that i sound petty and stupid and this isnt a huge deal but i feel like im settling by even talking to him cos this is not something i wld normally tolerate but hey maybe im getting desperate with age :(:(:( urgh 
on the other hand maybe i just need to be more generous with ppl and l have an irrationally high standard for english cos i am a lawyer and my friends all speak well / text well?? maybe im just being too nitpicky?? honestly hes very nice  and communicative and straightforward and seems mature and very God-fearing and idk why hes still talking to me cos ive been a bit cold and slow to respond. hes very patient which i dont rly deserve.....i myself have a million flaws that are probably way worse and egregious (ahem PRIDE...ahem ego....ie the source of this dilemma in the first place...) so maybe i should just close one eye abt the bad grammar.
i also realised how fked up i am - confirmed my suspicion that i am naturally attracted to emotionally unavailable ppl / ppl that just seem distant / out of reach (thats my avoidant attachment style right there). i think there was one day he didnt text me at all and omg...i couldnt stop thinking what i did wrong...like did i piss him off by being too cold for too long...did he get scared off cos i said i wanted to do a masters (idk this seemed like an irrational leap but i was being irrational)..then i started being nicer to him and replied more promptly hahaha turns out he was just rly bz at work that day. omg this pattern is real i think i did this with xj also - was eager to speak when he was in japan but after meeting irll i was just over it... (i am drawn to distance like a moth to a flame and i am repelled by availability like....a fire by a fire extinguisher (??)). yucks i rly hate myself sometimes but yknow what at least im self aware and im trying to fix this...kind of.. gonna hash this avoidant thing out with my therapist at the next sesh.
on the topic of xj i got a bit nostalgic and wondered why we stopped speaking (surprise surprise it was my fault, didnt reply then felt it had been left to long to pick it up again...) went back to look at our texts and aw we rly got along so well, i do miss him as a friend and im sorry about how poorly i treated him especially in dec 2018 / jan 2019 sigh.....i was a real bitch....
anyway im just gonna see how things go with B... if he asks me out i prob will go... just to give it a shot. update if / when that happens!
EDIT - he asked me out lol we shall see how it goes. 
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rythmcale · 3 years
Text
I dont remember my dreams but i remembered this one.
ok this is going to be disjointed, grammatically incorect, and the writting itself will probably bother some people cause my writting style? is trash.. i think. i had a wild cohesive dream last night and i HAVE to share omfg. i dont often remember my dreams.. if ever. I just started antidepressants like.. a couple weeks ago.  the day before this dream, i was working on my friends car (01 ford taurus limited) trying to replace the front complete struts (fuck those struts omg) been at it for more than a few hours. shit just was not going well. finally got one strut out after a shitload of hammering but the new strut just wont go in and i said fuck this car im taking a break. went inside and joing my already in motion dnd session that we are at level 20 now. were in the last part of hell, beating the shit out of a rockshasha (idk how to spoell it) pentagram on the floor. blood pooling into it. we beat him then get an image of th partys home town being waylayed by an army of demons, devils, monsters of all kinds. we plane shift back, and get told that a rift opened up and they just started pouring out just a few moments after we left to deal with the rockshasha. game ends, and i join my friends with some apex legends for a few hours. my head starts to hurt like a MOTHER and i bow out. i watch some youtube on my couch so the tv is further away from my eyes than the monitor but headache doesnt do away. its one of those headaches that feel like your brain is getting stabbed and it was on my left temple and behind my eye at the same time... i dont get headaches often. so i say fuck it, i take four pills of off brand ibuprofyn, and two off brand pill of acetamitaphin. eat a banana, can of cambells chuncky corn chowder soup and go to bed.
this is the dream i rememebr having after having the most restful sleep i can rememebr having i n a long while.
ok so i remembr three parts of it maybe more. first thing i remember is that it was dark and stormy night (cliche i know just.. just hang on) panning through an apartment you hear thuds and a scream or two. sounds like fighting. after panning through a tossed apartment you finally get to the bedroom where a woman lay exaushted on the bed, room is trashed. (no this is not erotica hang on) man is haunched, twitching somewhat in the shadows of the room. pan to the woman on th bed, its a beaten and bloody blonde.. (for some reason my head went brittney spears idk why) and shes laying there kind of laughing.. chuckling and finally says, i wont let you have your way as the guy lunges for her she takkes a bottle and breaks it over his head. broken sharp bottle in her hand she glances at it as the guy staggers backk some,he growls.  as he begins to lurch forward again lighting strikes and for a flash you see mangled, rotting flesh. eyes white, teeth missing, just horrible to look at, and groaning sniffing the air. presumibly for her. with the last bit of her strength she take the bottle to her throat amiling and crying that she both got away from this thing and sad that she has to die to do it.
im in a funeral home in what i normally wear, jeans, leather jackket, t shirt, bandanna, long hair. (it my dream of course im in it, just put yourself where i put me, im, mine, etc etc) Im standding therre waiting to go in and the same woman comes up beside me. Shes in kind of a black.. or whitish sun dress, depending how the light hist is.. or doesnt? with one of those hat that have a large... brim? (i dont know the word right now, those hat you see woman wear to the beach that offer a shit load of shade) around it. i rmember us chatting a bit and she finally looks at me. immediatly im struck with shock cause she looks like who we are going to the funeral for. I say "holy shit you like just like her" she says "oh yeah shes my twin, the only difference between our features is that i have one eye thats yellow". i then take notice of her eyes and finally ee that one ofo them is indeed yellow. but its not exactly?? its that thing that happens around the pupil that looks yellow and kind of spikey. idk what is called but it covered most of her iris. i told her this, ahs smiled and said "well thank you i never knew that" and walked inside. as i walked inside i saw everyone was well dressed and now im in a black suite and tie, hair pulled back. it was a large church with cielings that i could only imagine how high they were.
im in an attic type place. (presummably the area above the church??) im walking around lookks like the belfry from the first batman movie with michel keaton and jackk nicolson.. they arent there. its dark out, lights kind of peering through the cracks in the roof and slits of the wood. panning through the attic i see a particularly large crack in the wood. just big enough to look through. So i do. i see the guy who played glennn in the walking dead (i cant remember the actors name right now) standing there witha shotgun in hand and ak slung over him. looks like he did in walking dead (only thing ive seen that actor in so far -shrugs-) kind of decked out with grenades, a bullet belt, cargo pants, couple of boot knifes. hes talkingf to someone casually i cant make out what they are saying. suddenly he turns around in shock and yells run as he sharts fireing. can see everything inside the area now. its a long hallway.. ish? type area. looks the same as where i was. you see some creatures coming towards "glenn" and he stops grins and all of a sudden on ether side of the hallway is row after row of automatice guns. and they just start PUMPING they things full of bullets.. like they dont even stnad for more than a few seconds. after that he promptly runs to the side off where i cant see him anymore.
now im standing next to him and the woman from the start of this is in front of us, he hands me a knife. we both go in, shes jerking around but still as beautiful as ever, smiling and saying "you still think that will finish me do you, bwhahahah" you know that anime haha laugh that women do with the back of their hand to their mouth. me and "glenn" go in, with glenn warning of her dragons breath. and suddenly i have her in a choke hold and shes squrming. im trying to twist and break her neck, it just wont happen. shes smiling and i can see red creeping up her throat, smoke coming out of her nose and mouth, eye glowing red, keeps trying to grab my arm with her hands to get me to let go, shes held down by.. something idk. finally i say fuck this, i take the knife to go for her neckk and saw at her neck, its like rubber, the knife wont cut and suddenly theres wood covering it.. wind wipping around us. im sawing at the wood like my life depends on it. then i get pushed back as earth starts to form around her leggs and she gets lifted up on this mound. wood covering the top part of her and her arms. shes still laughing until shes not and is now panicked. im confusedas fuck cause i didnt do anything. th earth hardens into metal. so much pressure that the earth and rock turned to metal. the wood covering the top ortion of her, her arms become limbs of the tree and it grows from the top of her head and fully blooms in an instant then petrifies. her contorted screamingf face like a knot in the tree. "glenn" walks up next to me just as beaten and bloody as i am. somehow we are both standing. "glenn" asks "is it finally over?" and i say " it might.. for a while. but not forever" camera pans out as we both slump to our knees finally breathing and you se a cathedral that the funeral was in on a hude mound of earth and the city, landscape, everything is ether over grown or crumbling like in the game the last of us.
for some reason i think this would a wild ride as a movie or book or well written at all.. fuck
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basofy · 7 years
Text
hmm lets see
i hate my body its deformed and ugly and gross. it has all the things others consider ugly. even people close to me tell me to change it. i try to like it regardless and i cant.
i know what im not but i cant find out what am i i just wanna scape my body sometimes i just want to feel good with myself i wonder if i was born a boy this things would still happen but i like to think they wouldnt i wish i could just be both things
i cant find out who i like or what to call myself i used to like both girls and boys but know both make me sad boys remind me im not one and girls make me nervous and hate myself by just being happy with themselves, i even start to hate them sometimes only for being girls. ive had lots of bad experiences with girls where they would touch me and bully me and asks me lots of personal stuff and insist me to asnwer to the point of making me cry of stress. it causes me to sometimes just wish them to die and i shame myself for being one
i cant do normal things to calm down like enjoy music or even masturbate music isnt as good for me as it was before, im rarely ever able to enjoy a song for more than one day i cant please myself because im weak. i cant concentrate. i cant think of good things i just get desperate and anxious and end up stressed. when i see nsfw ish stuff i feel like shit and it makes me want to die for being so ridiculous, especially when its from girls. also i hate not being near the person i love the most and that stuff is just a reminder of how little opportunities i have i hate being so nervous about this stuff that i can only like it if its sweet and calm because thats considered boring
the situation of my country is slowly destroying me almost no resources. im paranoid of just looking at the window. no money. we have to move soon and im scared anything terrible can happen along the way. im afraid we will lose our things, even my cats. i dont want something bad to happen to them. i cant have a room for myself with things i like. i cant have clothes that will make me feel better about myself. i cant have my loved ones near me. i cant go visit my online friends. people outside my country hate me only for being born here. they think were a disgrace and that its all our fault. even mine, when i was never given the chance to decide.
i dont know what my future will be. i dont know what im gonna do after i end school. the career i want to study isnt here. i dont know where i will work. i dont even know if i will ever get out of here, im even scared i will die here.
my gfs situation scares me her shitty transphobic family angers me. they dont fucking know how to do anything right. they say they love their daughter and then tell her that shes stupid and useless and an humilliation and that nobody will ever love her. they even tell her that im only with her to get out of here, as if i had a chance to get out of this shithole anyway. i hate that they dont love her. i hate that they make her want to die. she deserves so much better and it angers me that the only thing i can do is support her, which is sometimes not enough because she needs someone to be near her. i sometimes just wish she would fall in love with someone thats better than me and can actually help her and leave me and stop suffering because of me
i cant feel good with my art i draw with little to no energy and im rarely ever proud of my drawings. if i am it lasts for like an hour then i dont want to see it. i feel bad because theres people that love it and wish to draw like me and i feel ungrateful for wanting more. for being unsatisfied. i feel i have to improve fast because this is what i wanna live of but i feel im doing it wrong, and i fear i wont be able to work in what i want to work.
my health is shit and i feel it doesnt matter i want to go to a doctor so bad because since always ive been feeling that something is wrong with me and i cant. not only that but my family doesnt give a shit until things get bad. until i have a panic attack or im about to pass out or i want to vomit. this has been affecting me since always yet nobody gives a fuck
im very unstable and dumb i get stressed too easily then it makes me anxious and depressed and it takes me hours to recover from that. i even have to stop doing whatever i was doing. im so tired because of this its hard for me to understand school and i fail a lot and they make me feel worse about it because im supposed to be one of the most intelligent students in the class because of some shit my 1st grade teachers got into the mind of my family and now they get disappointed of me for something that i never promised them
i hate on people for things that arent their fault but i cant stop hating and i began to hate on more people its not their fault that they have more resources than me or that theyre less useless than me or that they feel good with themselves or that at least theyve found who they are i end up wishing them to die even with close friends im afraid of becoming toxic
im losing interest in everything. im not letting things change my life for good if something excites me it does for like a week or less then its like "meh" things used to make a big impact in my life but im not letting new things do it
im weak i feel undeserving of love why do people love me even im a lost cause i cant heal myself
i feel im an horrible person and i dont wanna be me
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Rides on 2/1/19-2/2/19
I find coming of age in america as a Black male to be quite the experience. A life thats rathe overly sexualized and comes with many stereotypes and assumptions. Cant say its a eye opener last night but rather a further confirm on feelings and visions I have around people that aren’t POC or in the area. I had around 4 trips with Uber specifically that I can recall that were very very weird and tension filled.
First comes with this couple that I picked up in West Hollywood. White male and Asian woman. They get in and I do my usual greeting of “Hello, How are you doing tonight?”, with their response either being “Good” or “Good and you?”. Pending the two you can assume who wants a conversation or not. Pretty clear, I’d assume. Anyways the car goes quiet to the music playing in the background and literally next thing is the two are seriously making out right in my mirror less than a foot away from me. Awkward, sure. First time of this.. No! This making out is pursued by and silence and the two are texting each other as a way of communication between making out, of which is only broken by the fact that the ordered an Uber Express and had another pickup. (basically a carpool). Which here is where we pick up 2 more asian women which out the blue the couple in the back then turn into the biggest socialites to walk the earth. New energy and a easy spark for conversation. Which either I from my assumption is they either sexualizing a ride with me in the vehicle and the face they show the world appeared when the others got in. The 2 women were dropped off first to that point, the couple then start having a chat outloud. Amongst the eavesdropping I’m trying my best not to do. This guys starts ranting to this woman about him being on Bumble and that he uses it as a means to have men send him money, which she laughs. He then explains that he talks to older men and in return they send him money. I can only assume he’s been enticed to go further than internet talking if he’s willing to consider chatting with grown men to get money out of them. After I try to truly tune them out and drop them off at the destination.
Next trip is 3 very nervous and young gold diggers, which i assume, of course. So its raining and already rather cold all day being its winter time. But these are the types of women that dress a bit “sexy” if you liked to call it that. Pretty much the less they can wear the more eyes on them. Anyways I pull up to a bar called “The Nice Guy”. As some may be familiar. So La Cienaga is took up by valet cars and I have to park on the side street which is maybe 20-30 feet from the door. Anyways Im called and asked to pull closer being its raining and they’re in heels. (Rain was in the weather report all week) anyways they make the run for the car screaming and get in the back seat. One of my policies is that when people get in the car, if they all get in the backseat, they want to keep amongst themselves. Being if anyone wanted to get to know you, they’d sit in the front. Ive rode with Lyft and Uber and always sit in the front seat and chat with my drivers, simple human etiquette. (Ill get back to this). So we start heading to the next destination which is the girls heading to another party of sorts or finding something to occupy themselves from themselves. Which on the way Im lodge into a superficial realm of these 3. Some womanese that Im becoming more fluent with and they make subtle ways to let me know that they are very much looking for drugs. And willing to have sex with those that have them, simply because they do. I kinda have a Baby Driver thing going on where people think Im “sleep” or dead on the inside. But I just know a lot of battles arent worth the $4-$20 dollar trips. So ones steady making snorting noises and rambling about skiing. (obvious someone snorts coke). And one persist on a story to her friends that she was in a bathtub with a football player and her bf. And the football player tried to fuck her in front of her boyfriend. Which Im sure she probably would’ve allowed. Im assume it stays in her mind being she wanted it. Otherwise the memory would fade. So then my spider sense gets to tingling that these chicks are getting made because I’m not talking to them and assuming that I want to fuck them. When actually Im so turned off by their superficial minds that I’m trying to tune them out completely. By the way, There is a new Broly graffiti painting on Melrose where Gohan was that I have to take for a secret instagram account.
Third on this trip is literally a trip after the gold diggers. Where I’m at the Argyle and i pick up this guy or transgendered. I assume being he was in full on make up and and very tight clothing almost couldve passed for a woman. So heres what I mean, you sit in the front if you want to know your driver. The rider, simply gets in the front seat and gives me a smile and we head to their destination. Now Im not an idiot, I understood that I could’ve done anything I wanted with this person. They sat there rather quiet just waiting on me to make a move. But I didn’t want to give in to a moment of being horny and just using a body. So I don’t make conversation for the understanding that I know thats where the person wanted it to go. Upon reaching the destination I just with the person a good night. They give me a deep gaze and a smile and a hesitation to leave my car but finally do. Sorry to disappoint.
Last but not least comes around 2:30am-ish. Im in mid city and pick up a american. He has a destination set but when he gets in he tells me he is changing the destination and needs to stop at a gas station. Upon which he passes me a $20 bill and says thanks. I make a stop across the street at a 7/11. and he offers me a water or something out the store which i tell him, “no, thank you. I have a gatorade.” Tell me why this guy comes back with a Fiji water for me. Next were back on the road and he offers me gum. Which i keep 2 packs in my center counsel. So to be nice to his generosity I accept. Which he goes onto a story about this girl were picking up. Tells me that they’re friends and he was taking her back to his place. Okay here on out, I can totally be having this all happen in my imagination, but things get weird. So he ask me to let me know if she’s hot when we pick her up. I can’t really fathom why he cares what another man thinks about a woman he’s potentially going to fuck. (its almost 3am-ish on a Friday.. c’mon son). I had recently watched Hitch so in my head I’m wanting to tell the guy. She already choose to pick him, but its on him to not fuck it up. Anyways we approach and low and behold is this tanned blonde with these amazing legs and great body. I admit before she gets in that she’s hot. So she gets in and this is another weird thing I picked up. The guys demeanor changed. He went from talking slang and being all masculine to being almost the opposite and high pitched. They start conversing about her night which she was with 3 guys all night to which, in her words, she didn’t want to have sex with because they were too fucked up and drunk driving. Womanese on the other hand started ringing off things with my spider senses. That this chick wanted to get fucked and this guy wanted to share her with me or watch me fuck her. (Im learning the cuckold is real in this country). They start rambling on about small talk about a guy being able to fuck girls at this hour just by telling them to come over. But at this point were approaching the destination and its getting quiet. Im paying it no mind but do understand its quiet. To pulling up and the girl gets out without a word and the guy thanks me for the ride, hesitate to get out and seeming disappointed. I truly felt like the dude try to buy my will or ease me into being of sexual use for them for the night.
With the way these nights go, I can’t help but get a intuitive feel that either people want to sexualize things or they find the black man irresistible. Media outlets cover us like were things to have. Porn, Athletes, Music, Entertainers. And a ever increasing broadcasting of everything interracial on TV and Movies. I even myself have been on the end of being worshipped for being a black man. I try to leave myself out of these equations in these trips. Dismissing that its all in my head and its not happening for me. But on a night to night basis I’m lodge into this pull that people want to devour me for being this black man I am. I roam around this city a lot. And Outside the “hood” and predominately black neighborhoods and areas or urban venues. I see sprinkles of likeness when out and about. And a vast majority they are workers or a seldom few here and there. So theres always a thought that Im that one different thing that happens to be in the vicinity. That must be had. But hey.. Im hoping its all in my head.
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shytiff · 3 years
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May Small Wins
1 - lazed, went to racheel’s place and put my motorbike there, went to slipi jaya with silvi devi reza to watch seobok (it was fun!!), had iftar at the yumz green sedayu. It was raining when we get back. prayed maghrib and isya in some random mosque. went back and arrived at like 8 past sumn. showered, slept like a babyy
2 - lazed, slept and woke up at like 11, went to nila’s house, practiced doing eyeliner by borrowing nila's (focallure brand), iftar at green sedayu foodcourt (originally intended to go to the yumz but it enforces actual distancing) with angkot ppl minus tik will. Arrived home at about 9-ish.
3 - magang as usual. Went to rm. Took mrt to lebak bulus. My inaco salary finally came. My head kinda hurts after tarawih. Ended up skimming over bj alex lmaooo. Did not shower today lol,,,,
4 - added dr dafsah's revision to the excel database otw to rsf. Pak nardi took a while to arrive. Left rsf early to go to the bank. I (((finally))) activated m-banking lmaooo wow the features are neat wow im not jahiliah anymore. Found this method of just let it sweat anyway during tarawih lmaoo. Preferably with long sleeves bcs somehow you feel less of the sweaty feel compared to tshirt.
5 - sampling - data entry - RM as usual. Theres no new RM. Read a goood dramione fic by bex chan even if its not complete, its okay. Im okay :"))). Iftar was soup, salad, chicken katsu and french fries. Its been 2 days that i practiced sleeping-to-rain-sound. The first night was spent as a dreamless quick sleep (its over before you knew it), but tonight i dreamed abt almira's wedding lmaoo.
6 - no sampling today!! Still went to rsf tooo go to the mall w regen lmao. Did some data entry. Went to PP by mrt. Went back by going to halte gbk and thankfully the kalideres one arrived after only waiting for 5 mins. Its surprisingly quick, compared to lebak bulus - pesakih trip. Took abt 20 mins to jelambar.
7 - no sampling today too. Dr vera gave us lebaran cookies! Did gcp for bu suryati a5. Went to rm, finally finished the available rm. Went home early. Can finally relax since its the weekend.
8 - literally laid in bed til my body hurts. Rly want to read sumn but dunno what. Finally decided to read momoiro heaven. And rere hello. And after iftar i read lack of love. And just like tht, my saturday was gone. Cant bring myself to do things
9 - its another day of lazying (or self sabotaging, cant tell). Read spy family and its effin hilarious. Wasted my sunday. Cant bring myself to even move and i just laid in bed all day.
10 - last day of work in the weeekend lmao. Felt better than being in AR, but still not that much productivity. Went to RM. Phone call w fianti along the way to plan food in almira's bridal shower. Went back at 12-ish. Picked up my dress from risma busana. Walked to and fro halte kebon jeruk. Prayed zuhur close to ashar in kfc's mushola. Felt better after ~8k steps. Had homelab's green tea mixed with vsoy. It honestly made me feel better. Matcha, or caffeine, sure is amazing. At least i had a sense of normalcy before losing all the will to self-care
11 - consumed internet entertainment u til i was sick and tired of it. Watched a lot of cut videos. Granny came and stayed over. So i slept upstairs
12 - same as 11 but upstairs. More relatives came near iftar time so i excused myself to shower. Slept in mom n dads room at like 12-ish. Watched hp goblet of fire since keisha and karins newest obsession was draco. We squealed together over liking enemies to lovers trope haha,,,,
13 - Somehow all of dad's jakarta relatives came for lebaran. the last time i checked, there were some bridges being burned. prayed eid at home. watched perempuan tanah jahanam (which was surprisingly not scary). ate. napped. talked about personal things w keisha and karin. i cant believe the time has finally come where we talk about this kinda stuff. watched you’re next (it barely has any plot, just gore). they went back at about 8 pm and i just sleptttt yall lmao i didnt shower today. disgusting, i know
14 - cam barely get out of bed. Managed to shower at zuhur time. Watched dalbang and laughed like crazy bcs its just that funny. Read fanfics. Tiktok. Ate once and had greenfield yogurt at the evening. Fell asleep. Woke up at 1 and snacked on 1 pack of oat krunch
15 - run bts. Originally planned to go to flavola but it was still closed, so i went to dm's dunkin. Ordered orange juice and oeanut choco donut but somehow the price wasnt package price hhh. Turns out my clires account was somehow banned. So i contacted the admin. Instead of doing dr dafsah's excel i ended up taking off the makara sticker from my laptop. Bought some stuff for almira's bridal shower. Bought arirang at hari2 (its funny bcs yesterday i was seeing online marketplace, planning to buy it, but turns out hari2 the magical place had buy 2 get +1 deal for arirang.
16 - run bts. Managed to move my body a bit. Did 20 squats (ill elaborate on this later). That improved my mood. Tidied up some of my stuff. Saw the paper bag of random memorabilias by friends.
17 - went to rsf by tj. left kalideres 06:45 and arrived at RSF 8:15. sampling. went to RM (still no new ones). picked up by mom. went to salemba for almira’s bridal shower. originally planned to get padang at citra minang behind BK but it was closed. so we drove around looking for open ones. ended up buying it in a small (but crowded) padang place near a big padang restaurant lmao. was the first one to arrive at acacia. checked in, pulled the bed near the wall. showered. its hilarious sometimes with a bit more serious discussion anjayy. went home w febby who drove and clara
18 - went to mcd to get lunch (since everyone’s fasting) and tried to muster the will to do something. i didnt manage to do anything except shopping online (brought dusty pink hijab at hijup). got spicy chicken and iced coffee. (spoiler alert: tomorrow i got mencret2 lmaooo). read my suha and beyond the skidipapap its actually rly good
19 - went to RSF (with mom as usual. quickly snapped RM pictures while mom was waiting. went with her to mami’s house bcs she and uwak will fly to banjar. finally got to meet haekal, he’s such a smiley babyy its basically free therapy. planned outing with nisa lmao. from soekarno hatta we went to vintage vibes lmao since we’re already out. vintage vibes is more crowded now. and there’s less good findings now. went back emptyhanded. ate chicken arirang since there’s no food. fell asleep at like 06:30 until early morning lmaooo
20 - woke up at 2-ish am, played my phone, fell asleep at like 9?, woke up again at 11 lmaooo. went to sbux. had matcha latte. did some inaco work. todays the most productive ive been this week.
21 - went to gi with febby to also meet up with fi, bought falsies and glue (later proved to be of a horrible quality), siraman and pengajian almira (first time seeing an actual siraman), went to blok m w nes ren ara gen. Tried naruto takoyaki at little tokyo, went to daitokyo (i didnt eat anything), and got matcha cake, sakura and mango raspberry gelato at kebun ide. Picked up by mom. Renata gifted me bts 2021 winter package photocard 🥺🥺
22 - iluni internship webinar by dr naldo. Grabbed fried chicken master. Stupid time management etcetc made my start makeup at 12 (febby went out at 13:30). My falsies and hijabdo was done by herrr thank god for the help. Went to swissbel. Didnt take a pic w almira bcs time. Almiras wedding at damai indah golf pik. My skin was TERRIBLE at the wedding. The make up didnt stick prolly bcs of vitacid. Thank god for masks,,, went back home w febbyy. Made tiktok lmao
23 - lazed. Went to flavola. Its finally daytime caffeine again w kopsuscok. Did dr triya's translation work and finished it at home. She transferred the fee at like 11pm
24 - off to RSF with mom. no new medical records. wrote fuad’s name on the medrec borrowing form. continued to nisa’s place w mom. lazed, played w haekal, put some patient’s phone number on the inaco excel. Off to GBK with nisa and sarah. parked at abc field (shouldve parked near GBK’s H gate). saw moja museum 2.0, took lots of pics. mo paint (moral lesson: draw the background first!! not the foreground). finished at 16:30. ashar at masjid al-bina. nisa dropped me off at gbk tj station. prayed maghrib on the bus since the traffic was so ughh. met atikah in lippo puri. decided to eat seirockya so we walked to puri. talked about a certain someone along the way. we rly talked about it while walking until we arrived at seirockya. atikah treated me uyeyy since she and racheel will stay in depok for 2 weeks starting tomorrow. got the shoyu ramen and gyoza. took the taxi to atikah’s place. mom’s waiting there lmaoo i was like “noo dont wait at jco, just wait at atikah’s”. still felt energized that night in my bed. no sleepy2. like 100% awake. 
25 - woke up at like 9:30. i basically did nothing today. didnt even shower lmao (i showered last night). read the good teacher in one go. zoom meeting w dr eva. i rly need some structure in life, goshhh
26 - showered and went to mcd. got nasi uduk, breakfast wrap and milo for 26k (thanks mcd app promo and mcd duta garden’s menu machine, i dont have to interact with another human). planning to do dr dafsah’s excel after all the data is complete, and still no new inaco data, so i ended up.... online shopping at bobobobo....... (bought outer and white culotte). tidied up the writings on my stickies (plenty of words has accumulated). ordered onejai for emir juan (expensive!!! 79k no promo lolll but free delivery. i was baited by gojek’s 1k 2 week subscription and felt like hmmm i should get something since we live in the middle of nowhere and free deliveries felt significant at that particular time when im holding my phone lmao). fell asleep after drinking vsoy + matcha lol its soft caffeine no longer works i guess
27 - woke up late as usual, went to sbux at 1 pm. tried white peach matcha frapp. the peach overpowers and u can barely taste the matcha. tried to read something useful (in medicine) but skimmed 2 ppt and then i saw solid’s bitly for isip. finished reading banana fish. couldnt bawl my eyes out because im outside.
28 - checked out rsf. Still no new ones. Immediately went back. Lazed and wasted my time
29 - iluni webinar. Here comes the impending life crisis. Ate nasi uduk and mie goreng telor today. Tried vsoy golden grain with matcha. It has almond aftertaste. Line call with kris for almost 4 hrs until 11 past sumn pm.
30 - more iluni webinar. Dr Eric, SpPD, PhD was rly cool. Tried daily box (butter soy chicken). Quite tasty. Mkg w regen. Videocalled in the mall w silvi racil bcs its ale and nadaa's wedding today. Bought gooma 500ml matcha w gofood pickup discount. Ate sushi go (the shoyu has mirin btw). 50k+ you get 6 piece of sushi (2 salmon) and matcha cake and ocha. Quite a nice deal. Talked abt cryptocurrency lmao. Went back and forth w TJ. All hail tj
31 - planned to do at least some productive stuff at home. turns out nila is outside and had some time to spare. so we went out. i met her in citra 6. we went to pik’s white beach. its scorching hot since its 2 pm. spent like 15 mins there. we had wanted to stop by monsieur spoon but THERES A QUEUEEE even if its a hot afternoon. so we ate tom sushi at green sedayu. talked a bit afterwards in nila’s place and then i was picked up by emir. tried gooma’s matcha. its not sweet like sbux. approved by mom (who doesnt like sweets). but its more expensive than sbux’s 2L 100k promo lol. (45k after gopay pickup promo for 500 ml). reread bj alex lmaooooo found new tidbits
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shinusual · 7 years
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Tagged by the greatest @tookorean​ (jackie you tag me in so many things and im so sorry i dont do them all cause im annoyingly not here as much but keep tagging me cause i love seeing them and learning more about you cause youre FAB!!!!)
RULES: bold whatever statements applies to you
APPEARANCE:
I am 5′7″ or taller I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing (my ears yeah im super badass) I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined (yes i define them as flabby) I have had braces There is something i would change about the way I look
PERSONALITY:
My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor Hufflepuff Ravenclaw Slytherin (i always say in another life id be cool enough to be slytherin but i am so hufflepuff it hurts) I am an introvert I like meeting new people (ok this is half true cause im socially inept) People tell me that I’m funny (cause I make them) Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it There is something I would change about my personality
ABILITY:
I can sing well (ISH) I can play an instrument (even more ISH) I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (there are ppl who can do this?!) I’m a fast runner (if theres a bear behind me) I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch
HOBBIES:
I enjoy playing sports I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month I enjoy writing Fandoms are my #1 passion (i’ll agree with this even though i would exactly say its totally number one but its like tied up there its a big part of my life XD) I do or have done martial arts
EXPERIENCES:
I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting (i did this yesterday XD) I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts (IVE SEEN ALL OF MY TOP 5 IN CONCERT AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY! B1A4, BIGBANG, SEVENTEEN, MAMAMOO, BTS!!!!! but i only saw svt and mm at kcon ny where they only got to perform a few songs so i would like to see a full concert of theirs!)
RELATIONSHIP:
I’m in a relationship (for a long time XD) I have a celebrity crush (like a million) I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend
MY LIFE:
I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close to my school (i live on campus) My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone (i live in the dorms)
RANDOM SHIT:
I have breakdanced I know a person named Jamie I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today (french toast lol) I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages fluently I have made a new friend in the past year
i tag @cybercnu, @1991shinwoo, @jeonify, @17tvs, @gongchansik-si, @gongchanidaa, @gongchans-stolen-soda <3
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dimsumdamsel · 7 years
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92 truths that you dont really need to know about me but im gonna tell you anyway ! !
rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!
tagged by: @slavshiro ohoo THANK YOU ILY
LAST… [1] drink: water [2] phone call: my mom just called me to tell me to turn the stove on [3] text message: the love of my life, sonia!!! [4] song you listened to:  말이야 (I Mean That) by CLC!!! quality song  [5] time you cried:  dec 8 when i thought i only got 10/60 on my calc final cause i had an anxiety attack in the middle of it and called my cousin on her birthday and cried to her about being worthless and how my parents deserve a better daughter, one more like my successful brother :^) i havent cried since then because im even more dead than ive ever been :^)
HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: nope, i dont want to relive any of my past relationships; i mean it ended for a reason so? but maybe for a future relationship if it comes to it?? theres still an extremely low chance of it happening though lol  [7] been cheated on: not that i know of but probably not [8] kissed someone and regretted it: ksjngkejrnkgne yeah, elementary school with isaiah mike lmao what a mistake  [9] lost someone special: mmmm not recently  [10] been depressed: i’m honestly not sure– like its not bad enough to where i would need medicine but i do feel down, empty, and find it hard to be happy a lot?? its mostly cause of school but baHhhhahaH yikes dog pictures never fail to cheer me up though [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: im a good girl, i dont plan on drinking until im legally allowed to lmao even than, i probably would still be reluctant 
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] orange (orange clothes are ugly though) [13] cream / white !  [14] dark blues ! 
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: sweats honestly no, i havent made any new friends for a couple years now? i mean i met people form key club but i dont talk to them often  [16] fallen out of love: i guess  [17] laughed until you cried: i think so  [18] found out someone was talking about you: yO SO MY FRIEND TOLD ME TODAY THAT SOMEONE I DATED KEEPS TELLING MY OTHER FRIEND THAT HE MISSED ME AND honestly get over me please, like its been like what nine months now and youre not going to get anywhere with mulling in the past? dont bother other people about this because they dont want to hear it.  [19] met someone who changed you: NOT IN THE PAST YEAR KFKNDFKE [20] found out who your true friends are: i never have fake friends? like even if they wanted to gain something from me there would be nothing to get lmao [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: nAH
GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: probably a little more than three fourths [23] do you have any pets: i have a six inch fish, my dad has a six inch fish, and my mom has two smaller three inch fish (the ones my dad and i own are at least five years old now and the ones my mom has are less than a year old) [24] do you want to change your name: nope, my parents chose it for me and i want to honor that, plus i dont think any other names would suit me  [25] what did you do for your last birthday: i went out to eat kbbq with sonia and then stayed home for the rest of the day !!!!! thank you sonia ohoo i would’ve just spent it doing nothing wihtout you kjngkjer [26] what time did you wake up: 6:30 am [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: dinking around on my phone probably [28] name something you cannot wait for: short term: the week to end, long term: owning a dog  [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: 3 minutes ago  [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i was more confidant about myself and my ability to do things  [31] what are you listening to right now: good luck by aoa [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: i know a tommy??  [33] something that is getting on your nerves: :3 [34] most visited website: “tinklr dot hell” [35] elementary: i miss my elementary school friends : ( [36] high school: fuck the counselors  [37] college: high school + more crying honestly, i like it though, i feel more free (at least in the running start program lmao) im waiting to see if UW seattle and bothell want me next year though and i really want to die at the though of them not accepting me cause i’ll just be an even bigger disappointment to my family lol  [38] hair color: dark brown but a chestnut-ish color in the sun (i really want to dye my hair so its that chestnut color all the time though) [39] long or short hair: i like short hair but i currently have long hair thats three or four inches under my armpits, i plan on cutting it soon though [40] do you have a crush on someone: no serious ones, just the “wow he smiled at me “ and “gOd he held the door for me i am Snatched” kind of little crushes [41] what do you like about yourself?: i like that i was able to make good friends [42] piercings: ears [43] blood type: B+ i think– not completely sure if im + or - but i know its B for sure [44] nickname: none, just pet names from sonia and jiejie by gil ohoo [45] relationship status: single and not really looking for anything, i just want a dog [46] zodiac sign: sagittarius [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: i surprisingly have a lot of favorite american shows like bones, psych, monk, criminal minds, leverage, saving hope, pushing daisies, ghost whisperer, basically all shows on ion tv minus law&order, then theres gravity falls and bobs burger, and then a bunch of animes and dramas [49] tattoos: none but ive always wanted one either on my wrist or inner arm ! [50] right or left handed: right handed
FIRST… [51] surgery: never  [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: lisa! we’ve literally known each other since we were born and shes always going to be my favorite cousin and one of my best friends [54] sport: track  [55] vacation: dont remember very well?? i saw some vcr tapes of us going to disney in 2001 though [56] pair of trainers: ive never had any trainers, just running shoes?? i had small red sandals that squeaked whenever i walked when i was a kid though 
RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: water (ive been drinking so much water lately but i’m always thirsty so i lowkey think theres something wrong with me) [59] i’m about to: knock out  [60] listening to:  情歌王 by leo ku (its like a compilation of classic love songs thats 13 minutes long but i could sing the entire thing karaoke style easily)  [61] waiting for: death  [62] want: to not disappoint my parents, my friends, or myself anymore  [63] get married: eventually i guess  [64] career: student, scribe/visual interpreter/reader/proctor for my college’s DSS 
WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs !  [66] lips or eyes: eyes ! ! which is funny cause making eye contact with people makes me Uncomfortable  [67] shorter or taller: taller please, im tired of being the taller friend and i want to feel small for once  [68] older or younger: older, i’ve had enough with younger guys lmao  [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic but spontaneous is good too  [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms i guess  [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive?? [72] hook up or relationship: relationship wtf i dont even get how hook ups work alright  [73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant lmao 
HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? no what the heck [75] drank hard liquor? nope  [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? lost contacts (which sucks cause i wear hard contacts since they cant make soft ones with my prescription and only replace them once a year, thankfully i can use the ones from previous years) but never glasses  [77] turned someone down: no  [78] sex on first date? yikes no  [79] broken someone’s heart? ya but it was for the best [80] had your own heart broken? ya but i was never that sad about it [81] been arrested? no oml i sweat every time i see cop cars [82] cried when someone died? no one close to me has died so far, but i def cried at the ladies’ code car accident  [83] fallen for a friend: nope 
DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? i want to  [85] miracles? yes but i have yet to witness any [86] love at first sight? mmmm to a certain extent– i think its mostly based on looks but when you get to know them that when the real love happens [87] santa claus? used to exist probably  [88] kiss on the first date? depends  [89] angels? yeah, why not 
OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: sonia del casal : ) [91] eye colour: dark brown [92] favourite movie: listen ive watched your name (kimi no na wa) a grand total of sixteen (16) times and i could still watch it another ten times (i love to suffer)
tagging @sweet-hunny, @hideous-kojimmies , @panda-p-king, @puervy , @otonai , @izumiiz , @hxanns , anyone cause yikes i dont know very many people
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anyhao-archived · 7 years
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ok so technically i wasnt tagged by @fishpun they just mentioned me in their post but i dont care this is one of the only tags that doesnt have too many stupid questions. theres a lot more i was tagged in but this is the only one i wanna do. 
so there. :^)
1: Are you named after someone? kinda... my grandma was called marie, and mairin just happens to be the gaelic version lol
2: When was the last time you cried? 
✖ i cried last month
✖ i cried last week
✖ i cried yesterday
✔ im crying right now
no but rly u dont understand how EASY it is for me to cry im like always on the brink of tears and i see a cute commercial? bam, crying. watching a tv show and someones confessing? yep im crying. day dream too much about something that never happens? u betcha im crying
3: Do you like your handwriting? no its awful its ok if i use pencil but i prefer to use pen 10x more lol
4:What is your favorite lunch meat? turkey thats easy
5: Do you have kids? nope
6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? i would think so. my self esteem is not so low to say no. sometimes i actually wonder why people dont want to be friends with me. i dont think im that bad am i
7: Do you use sarcasm? occasionally but not all that often
8: Do you still have your tonsils? honestly ive got no clue
9: Would you bungee jump? yes!!!! i also want to sky dive and paraglide and do all that shit
10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? cocoa crispies, frosted flakes, fruit loops, lucky charms. you know, the basic favorites of a 6 year old.
11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no i just use my other foot to get them off
12: Do you think you’re a strong person? it depends on what sense
13: What is your favorite ice cream flavor? mint chocolate chip (amy what the hell our ice cream flavors are compatible!) but when im Really feeling it ive gotta go with ben and jerrys chocolate fudge brownie. yum
14: What is the first thing you notice about people? if were being honest then if i think theyre attractive or not, and also if they give off a weird vibe. then if im past that its probably their lips i.e. smile and talking
15: Red or pink? pink
16: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? you know a couple years ago i would say my weight but damn it if my acne isnt bothering the shit out of my lately
17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? im wearing dog themed pajamas pants and black slippers with blue and purple paw prints on them sdksfdlsfr im rly cute obviously....
18: What was the last thing you ate? uh i had some garlic bread lol
19: What are you listening to right now? at this very moment nothing but thats just bc my song stopped playing so im actually listening to dreamcatcher’s chase me its so good
20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? something light green/blue/purple ish. 
21: Favorite smell? ive never really thought about it but i guess i like the smell of my mom baking cookies during holidays and the smell of gas
22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? people actually talk to each other on the phone? according to my call history it was my dad
23: Favorite sport to watch? baseball, soccer, ice skating
24: Hair color? dark blond w/ my original brown roots showing
25: Eye color? green
26: Do you wear contacts? no i hate them i only wear my glasses on special occasion
27: Favorite food to eat? would it be too cliche to say ice cream? realistically though probably pasta since theres so many pasta dishes i enjoy
28: Scary movies or comedy? comedy im a huge scaredy cat you cant take me anywhere where theres jumpscares
29: Last movie you watched? i watched the fundamentals of caring yesterday it was nice
30: What color of shirt are you wearing? its a grey tank top with the worlds las vegas on it lol
31: Summer or winter? i hate both
32: Hugs or kisses? hugs!!
33: What book are you currently reading? you rly think im reading something for fun ?? lol how about my college calculus textbook does that count
34: Who do you miss right now? i miss my old self like.. idk. i also tend to find myself missing my ex even though its been years. also 2 be just as gay as them i miss u amy @fishpun
35: What is on your mouse pad? ???? what is that
36: What is the last TV program you watched? lemony snicket’s series of unfortunate events, or the office. i cant tell my sense of time is messy
37: What is the best sound? when there is no sound
38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? the beatles
39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? i was in toronto for 2 days does that count as outside the country? lol
40: Do you have a special talent? not particularly? maybe that present making stuff. 
41: Where were you born? st louis aka same city as i live in
42: People you expect to participate in this survey? no one cus im 2 lazy 2 tag <-- well said amy me too
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ajp3mbgk-blog · 5 years
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