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good7luck · 8 months

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Some personal rants related to the latest VNC manga chapters (~60)

(more under the cut)

It's chapter 55(.5) when Vanitas and Noe officially made up with each other, where the anime ended.

Astolfo's backstory was handled in ch 58 & 59.

The latest chapter was the 60th.

It's been only like 5 chapters or so since ch 55(.5), and most of them were pretty short.

We're JUST moving on from the Amusement Park arc NOW, and the new arc barely started. It's still the beginning part, with some old & new characters (re)appearing.

I do remember that some people expected chasseurs to show up in the Amusement Park; to join the ongoing fights (which did not happen in the end), or to investigate the remaining mess after the whole fights ended. (Both are fine guesses, obviously)

But now I see some arguments that MJ-sensei made an "awkward" writing choice to "suddenly" talk about chasseurs... I don't know what to feel, even if they might not be the same people XD

Both chasseur AND bourreau were already brought up in the chapter 1. Jeanne was a bourreau, and MJ-sensei has showed quite a lot of what bourreau is like, especially in the Gévaudan arc. Maybe MJ-sensei thinks it's time to expand chasseur more now - through Astolfo, Roland, Olivier, Gano, etc. Not to mention the main protagonist Vanitas used to be in chasseur himself.

There're 12 captains of the chasseurs, almost the half are still unknown to us XD You're of course free to be not interested in chasseurs or even dislike them, but it's NOT like MJ-sensei pulled them "out of the blue (uwu)".

When ch 58 / 59 was out, mainly covering Astolfo and Roland - some people got (genuinely) angry and insisted that MJ-sensei is avoiding Noe / Domi / Jeanne / Vani interactions, not caring about her main characters, not able to handle her own plot anymore, etc. (Actually, even before ch 58...) And then ch 60 showed the 4 forming some sweet bonds lol They really couldn't wait...for a few chapters...

In fact, 1) some still complain why the chasseurs' backstory had to happen before the 4 interactions. Or, 2) some find the current plot "problematic" because things are going too good and well for the 4 now, NOT doomed / tragic enough asdfghjkl

For the former 1) - the story is NOT only about the 4 and chasseurs. Shapeless One and the Archiviste girl are related to the protagonist Noe each, and they'll get involved in this arc, too. I believe that's why MJ-sensei "mixed" everything and everyone together; letting the two introduce chasseurs' backstory, while also showing some traits and situations of them (ex. something is not right with Shapeless One / the girl is indeed an Archiviste).

To add more (angst uwu), chasseurs might try to come after Vanitas and/or Noe for the entire mess caused by Misha and Shapeless One: the attacked victims and the ruined amusement park :'))) (Vani/Noe fight did destroy the park, too, yeah, but Misha caused their fight as well) Jeanne explicitly told Domi to be careful for a while, even if Domi was just Misha's victim and did nothing wrong :')))))

For the latter 2) - again, it's been like only 5 (mostly short) chapters since the Amusement Park arc got wrapped up... Not even 1 day has passed since Misha left on the rooftop in VNC current timeline, plz XDD Also, why do they carelessly assume things will stay happy and lucky for the 4?? :'))) (even putting "whether things are truly good" aside, oops XD) For example, like above, chasseurs might bring some new chaotic hell to the 4 in the upcoming arc :'))))) Anyway, ch 60 is in the 11th volume (of 25 or so in total), the story won't end anytime soon, I promise XD

In addition, I'm pretty sure VNC has never been 100% only unhappy hopeless despair torture 24/7? I wonder if they got mad, too, when both Chloe and JJ survived AND talked things out AND got cured AND ran away together quite "successfully" at the end of the Gévaudan arc lol While I'm surely happy both have managed to not get caught so far...I'm still aware that nothing guarantees a forever happy ending for the two, oops :'))) So, I really don't understand why those people cannot stand SOME positive MOMENTS for the 4 in 1 chapter or so that much XD even judging the author for it asdfghjkl as if it's utter impossible for the 4 to go any wrong from now on, ooops! :')))))

IDK I feel some people should seriously try to read the manga volume by volume (at least, multiple chapters at once) - NOT chapter by chapter. So that they could take the flow better and actually enjoy the story as it is. Rather than feeling "betrayed" by the "bits" and making (false) accusations against MJ-sensei all the time. They need to chill a little in general and maybe have a good sleep asap XD

To be fair, I do know the breaks have been so long, while the recent chapters have been quite slow and short... All this might've played some part for them to be more sensitive and impatient, perhaps ^^;;

I sure hope we'd get a new chapter this month, hopefully a long one!

Thanks for reading my incoherent personal rants!! Sorry about some negativity OTL

#vnc spoilers #vanitas no carte spoilers #vanitas no carte #vnc #vanitas no shuki #les memoires de vanitas #the case study of vanitas #not tagging anyone #good7luck

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fujijori · 1 year

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✦ 𝐋𝐄𝐎 or 𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌 (18) | any prns!!,, TECHNICALLY ON HIATUS, sfw writing blog branched from @seraphicsm, mainly circulating around genpact (genshin impact). multi-fandom author / dc + nsfw free / vv nice, 10/10 would friend. reqs & thirsts are permanently closed, do not ask for 'em ✦ m.list / taglist / carrd.co / spotify / wattpad / ao3 ✦ affiliated w/@favonius-library, @goldfishhie, @kshahrewarr

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𝐋𝐀𝐖𝐒.

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wine4thewin · 2 years

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Hi how are you

OK since I'm still new to jjk stories I still have much to learn but let's start with the fact that the first story I've read is these wounds they don't heal and oh lord how do I say this I cry for a week of how sad this story is and then i read warning do not rescuet and let say It took me a while to recover from all the feelings that i felt when i read but I didn't come here to cry i just come to say what a genius author you are the too story was so amazing and wonderful that whatever i say won't describe how i love i had for you and your stories and i might be a shy when it comes to things like that but let's say what if yuuji refuse sukuna offers like no i don't want to come to bed with you or any time sukuna want sex cause God he is so horny but just like I say what well happened to yuuji if he ever says no in the first time and as well other time's and it may be weird but i actually thought that if sukuna ever win he well take megumi instead but that another thing that I love in your story that he didn't take him and that's when my second question came why didn't he kill megumi curse form was it because of yuuji like he didn't want yuuji to be more sad or he is just taking megcurse is hostage to threatening yuuji and did sukuna ever did something nice to yuuji in the years they lived together as well did yuuji ever felt happiness and did yuuji ever ask sukuna for anything

I'm so sorry for all this questions but when i love a story i just can't stop myself and sorry if my English is bad 😔 thank you for sharing this beautiful and wonderful stories with us ❤

Oh, goodness that is a doozy of a story to start with in the jjk fandom 😅 most people don’t enjoy going that dark, because there is definitely waaaaay more angst in my jjk fics than people are ready for in most cases.

I’m flattered you feel so strongly about my fics! I know they are emotionally tough to read- and I wrote them that way on purpose. It isn’t a series about a nice relationship or a love story…it’s about witnessing a survivor wade his way through a world that has descended into horror. In reference to a few of your questions, it is always important to note that this story contains complete power exchange, and it isn’t to be taken lightly. This is why we see such triggering things in Yuji’s broken, decaying psyche; he is at the whim of a dark deity that is amused and perhaps obsessed with him, considering the nature of him being Sukuna’s past vessel.

The two fics walk through a decade of time, so I do tend to leave a lot open to the imagination of the reader. Sometimes, it is more impactful to make a reader think on something, than to simply tell them. So, in terms of your question on Yuji refusing Sukuna, I am sure it happened and I can also say it didn’t end well for Yuji, which is why in the fic, we don’t see it happen. There is only so much horror and angst that can go in one fic.

As for Meguni being alive, I look at it as he’s outlived his use. Yet another discarded tool that Sukuna has used and left a shell. I have no idea where the manga is going with Sukuna’s interest in Megumi, but I can only assume that he has something that Sukuna wants to use/exploit in his effort to gain power or his body back (which gets assumed in this fic). This AU series assumes we are way past all that. Megumi exists as a rogue Curse because Sukuna simply doesn’t need him anymore; Megumi is no threat as a broken, ruined thing.

And lastly your other submission about the tattoo! It’s simply a symbol of ownership. This tale signifies the near complete loss of Yuji’s agency…it truly is not a tale that has a happy ending. I leave it to the reader to imagine how dark Yuji’s future might go!

#asks #jjk fanfic #dark fics #sukuita #evilpeaches ao3

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tsukikoayanosuke · 1 year

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I posted 963 times in 2022

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My Top Posts in 2022:

Ive seen plenty of hate towards yuuken in the twst manga just for being a "male protagonist" like- can yall piss off?

I honestly don't understand the hate and I tried to see it from a different angle.

I think, mostly, it's because their wish-fulfillment is not granted.

I assumed that everyone knows the prologue of Yuu/Prefect/MC arriving at Twisted-Wonderland. Now, Yuu/Prefect/MC has their own personality, however, they are hard to dissect. Most of the time we put our own personality in there and speak by choosing the options provided. And the downside of this, Yuu/Prefect/MC can switch depending on the players.

Now, imagine having someone like that as your protagonist. How many times we've seen an anime adaptation of a game where the MC is just the player-insert? Generally, the main character is just "nice" (and sometimes "cute", "beautiful", "handsome", but those aren't personality) to appeal to every demographic. But to some people, this is boring. An anime, manga, and light novel needs a stronger protagonist. Even someone like Kirito (SAO), Hajime Nagumo (Arifureta), and Makoto Naegi (Danganronpa) have personality, even if they're ended up being too mary-sueish, edgy, or bland.

Now going back to Twisted-Wonderland manga. How do you make this manga appealing to everyone with a self-insert type MC? You can't just make someone "nice". You need more spice in them.

So, Yuuken is one of the answers.

Personally, I like Yuuken. He's not that bright, perfect for the no brain cells gang, but has a strong sense of justice and is always there to support his friends with his big brother aura. If we're looking in context, in a wave of mostly asshole cast (twisted villains, remember?), Yuuken gives a refreshing change as someone who is naturally a good guy. At least you know, in a school for villains, there's this one guy who is morally good.

To add the point, the manga is fantastic and we can see the characters' expressions fully. Yuuken deadpan expression and just the no-thoughts-head-empty are great.

I think what we need to see is not "male protagonist", "nb protagonist" or "female protagonist", but more of "what makes them a protagonist". It doesn't matter what gender the MC is, if they don't have a strong personality, then they won't be strong enough to be in the central face.

117 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

Captain Talks About Some Writing Things - About MalleYuu and is this ship even possible?

With Ignihyde Arc finally reaching its conclusion and the Shroud Brothers giving us their sweet, sweet angst, the last dorm we need to go through is Diasomnia. Even though we just had a drama surrounding its uniform, it seems that it didn’t stop any of us from loving this boy.

Speaking of loving, as we know, Malleus Draconia is the poster boy of Twisted-Wonderland, thus certainly he gains a lot of attention from the players despite not appearing that much in the main story, to the point of some fans ships him with Yuu/The Player.

Today, we will be going through the possible romatic relationship between Malleus and Yuu. We’re going to see how many times they’ve interacted and is it even possible to ship them under in-game circumstances.

However a fair warning: This will be a deep dive between Malleus and Yuu/The Player, not OC Yuu! If your OC Yuu is shipped with Malleus, it’s fine. We’re here just to see the canon interactions, not headcanons or fanfics. Also, there will be spoiler since we’re following the JP update instead of EN. In addition, I’m not the best in researching, all of the translation can be found either in the wiki, Tumblr, or various sources. I’ll try my best to link it down, but any mistake in interpretation is mine.

Without further ado, let’s begin.

A Brief Summary of All Malleus & Yuu Interactions in Main Story

Prologue & Heartslabyul Arc:

Malleus was only mentioned in Episode Prologue-3, 1-8, and 1-28. In the prologue, we see how even mentioning Malleus name brings awes and fears. In Heartslabyul Arc, Trey said that Malleus is one of the five great sorcerers in the world, and Cater added that Malleus is on a different level. He was mentioned again 1-28 by Leona but he’s planning to "start that revenge plan on Malleus”.

Savanaclaw Arc:

Malleus was mentioned many times throughout the Savanaclaw Arc, mostly because he’s Leona’s biggest target.

But Episode 2-14 marks Malleus and Yuu’s first meeting. Malleus sort of trespassed Ramshackle Dorm property and was quite surprised to find someone is living there. Yuu didn’t know Malleus back then and once again, this came as a surprise for Malleus. When he asked their name, Yuu gave him his name but Malleus didn’t give his name for “If they knew who he was, it would certainly leave a chilling impression.” (We will come back to this later, let’s put a pin on this). Malleus left after that, saying that he would need to find another abandoned building to walk around at night.

Octavinelle Arc:

There are two episodes where we meet Malleus: 3-24 and 3-37.

3-24 took place after we failed the second day because we got our asses beaten in Azul’s office. Malleus, or Tsuno-tarou as we decided to call thanks to Grim’s suggestion., once again returned for his nightly visit and found the dorm was way noisier than before. After Yuu told him about their situations, Malleus said something about gargoyle: how even though they look scary, they protect the house from torrential rain. Connecting this with our situations, Yuu picked up that Azul’s contracts are not as invincible as the thought.

In 3-37, we managed to get back to our dorm and Malleus appeared again. He wouldn’t have guessed that we would win against Azul and how he would like to see the ever calm Ashengrotto make a terrified face for it “must have been quite a sight”.

Scarabia Arc

Malleus didn’t appear in Scarabia Arc at all, but a certain scene in Episode 4-39 managed to gain some attention, because the fact that he sent a holiday card through Lilia.

Pomefiore Arc

In exchange for the holiday card, in Episode 5-48, Yuu gave Malleus a ticket to VDC which surprised Malleus how Yuu “know not the meaning of fear”.

In Episode 5-67 however, might be the most important interaction so far. After the overblot battle, Malleus arrived to the destroyed coliseum. This is when Yuu learnt that "Tsuno-tarou" real name is “Malleus Draconia, the next head of the Valley of Thorns”. After retelling what had happened, Malleus fixed the stadium because he “was simply interested in seeing them (the NRC Tribe) perform” and Vil better “show him a performance I will never forget”. Oh, and he let Yuu to still call him "Tsuno-tarou".

Ignihyde Arc

Malleus appeared in 6-14 until 6-18, however he and Yuu doesn’t have any direct interact because they are mostly focusing on the attack from STYX. After that, Yuu and Malleus doesn’t interact again until the 6-83 where Malleus noticed Yuu being fine, even if it was cut with Ace and Deuce.

About Malleus and Loneliness

Before we can see why Malleus and Yuu interaction is important, we need to see Malleus from a certain angle: the loneliness angle.

It had been a running gag of Malleus not being invited because he seems inapproachable and students fear him as seen in the Prologue-3. We also see how Malleus isn’t invited in the dorm leader meeting in Episode 2-6 and Episode 5-2. When he does get invited, like during the VDC or the Yasmina River Firework Festival, he tends to come the earliest so he wouldn’t miss it. This shows how Malleus really wants to be part of something or at least having the connection with the others. You can be seen with how he really care for his tamagochi-like game that he got from Lilia (imagine a virtual pet). When it got wet, he’s pretty upset for that and he’s pretty grateful that Deuce can fix it. He even wish for his tamagochi to make friends.

Malleus himself has a lonely life, despite being a prince. In the Scalding Sands' Al'ab Nariya, he said that as a crown prince of Briar Valley, he cannot leave his country, which might cause why he doesn’t quite understand with technology because of the sheltered lifestyle. In his 2021 birthday interview, the only family member that he mentioned is his grandmother who is the queen, meaning that he possibly doesn’t have any siblings and is an only child, thus there’s no other option of who will be next in line except Malleus. As the crown prince, he had a big duty for his country, thus he’s dedicated to his role, like how he memorized how to survive on a deserted island in his 2022 birthday interview and why he can’t go courting Princess Eliza despite filling the height criteria in Ghost Marriage Event.

We can also see this with Malleus relationship with time. We knows that fae ages different than humans, thus they will live longer than most of the cast, as mentioned how he doesn’t feel any different when during his birthday and see how humans celebrate their birthday is quite peculiar. This is enhanced how Malleus has been thinking hard at the final episode of Ignihyde Arc on how, as Lilia said, human life is “like a this silk thread spinning on a wheel, easy to break".

See the full post

129 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

I swear this fucking fandom is drinking their dumb-dumb juice too often for my liking.

Let’s talk a little about The Phantom Bride, possibly one of my favorite event. You know why? Because it’s supposed to be a comedy.

Back in its first run in JP Server in 2020, this was possibly the best event pre-Pomefiore. It’s possibly the funniest event so far and I know Eliza is not everyone’s favorite, but gosh darn, she steals the show. Like remember in Frozen when Anna wanting to marry Hans and Elsa said “you can’t marry someone you just met”? Yeah, Eliza is basically Anna but take it to the extreme because Idia doesn’t want to get married. Really, Eliza is just making her “Imagine marring your favorite TWST boys prince charming” headcanons come true? Eliza is the parody of the classic “love at first sight”, and the dev managed to make it so entertaining.

But of course, once it comes to the EN Server, it suddenly become a massive problems. Yeah, I don’t see anyone complaining back in 2020, why are we complaining about it now?

But let’s see one of the biggest complaint:

“The boys are so rude for not wanting to save Idia.”

To start this, I want you to imagine this: Imagine you have a group project and there is this one kid. The kid was always in class but they never talked to anyone, preferring to text rather than speak. You never talk to the kid or at least rarely but they seemed to be scared at you when you’re trying to be friendly. When the team already agree on the date of when you’re gonna do the project, that kid didn’t come, but prefers to go through zoom call when they can just come...? And the reason why? It’s because they don’t like group project and a shut-in like them don’t do well with crowd. When you tried to argue, they screamed back. But, it the end, you managed to finished your project with a B+ and you still write the kid’s name so he would also get a grade and doesn’t repeat class. But the kid said: “this project suck.”

Okay, you got that? How would you feel about it? Annoyed? Frustrated? Hurt? Surely this would put a damp to your relationship, right?

Now, go read Idia’s ceremonial robe vignette. With Idia shut-in nature, imagine how hard is for others to talk to him. Riddle had to use reverse psychology to make him go to the entrance ceremony. In addition, read Ortho’s ceremonial robe vignette, because it covers the same story but from Ortho’s POV.

Okay, but that’s too far, let’s just look at the main story, from Prologue to Octavinelle. Have we ever see Idia anywhere? Well, we see his tablet twice, once in the entrance ceremony and the second time in the housewarden meeting. Considering both meetings are important, why can’t Idia go there in full body? If this is a real school, this will only bring your reputation down.

So, if we can’t imagine the whole canon cast, go with the smaller scale with the housewarden. Imagine their feeling when one of you don’t come to your meeting? Heck, even Leona, the lazy lion who sleep in the botanical garden and repeated year just because he doesn’t want to come home, actually attend the ceremony and the housewarden meeting. “oh but Malleus also doesn’t come.” Yeah, because he wasn’t invited. This can be a pass for Malleus who doesn’t know, but Idia knows but deliberately decides to only come through VC when he can just get out of his room.

Again, question: will you still willing to help this kind of kid if they’re ever get in trouble?

If yes, then I salute you, but I know many who wouldn’t do it because the sour relationship.

This is the base of The Phantom Bride. This is the cast’s current relationship with Idia. Can you really blame them for not wanting to save someone they barely know?

It’s even said in the event on Chapter 5! And you still blame them for not wanting to save Idia?

(Twisted Wonderland Wiki, English Server)

See the full post

194 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

What is wrong with Male TWST OCs?

No, seriously, what's wrong? Just tell me why?

This is like the second time this week I've seen this take.

Why are there some people that say Male TWST OCs outshined the female one? Why are they saying the fandom lacks of Female OCs? Why do they claimed that Male TWST OCs are just copy of the already existed female ones?

I'm not saying this to hate Female TWST OCs, but I'm saying that this is not fair, isn't it?

You guys say that "fandom is supposed to be a place to have fun", and yet TWST Fandom has drama for like every Tuesday.

Male TWST OCs creators put the same effort as the Female TWST OCs creators. Similarities are unavoidable, if you find then it might be a coincidence. Even canon has similarities, just look at Ruggie and Jamil's unique magic.

Why does it feel like Male TWST OCs, and Gender Neutral for that point, basically Non-Female, gets pushed away and blamed? Are we really going to have another discourse over this?

Oh, and when Non-Female TWST OCs Creators just want to defend for themselves, you’re calling them “hating Female OCs”. What is this bullshit?

You guys didn’t glance twice when your Female OCs are in an all-boys school, and yet when Male OCs are just vibing with the cast we’re in the wrong? I can list many fics where it’s a “female(s) in Night Raven College” and yet I can only list two (that’s not mine) where it’s a “male(s) in Night Raven College”. And you still dare to claim Male TWST OCs is taking up space?

Think of all the writing blog where they accepts requests for Female Reader compare to the Male and Gender neutral Reader. You still think Male and Gender Neutral are more popular? And even if it’s a Gender Neutral Reader, you can still feel it’s targeted toward female demographic?

Think of all the pretty arts. How many of them that you see it’s Female OCs/Canon Character? How many of them are Male OCs/Canon Character? I don’t know about your blogs, but every time I went to the “twst oc” tags, it’s filled with Female OCs. Are we sure we’re looking at the same fandom?

“Every OCs is valid” this, “Every Yuu gender is valid” that. And yet, here we are, hating OCs who are not Cis Female.

316 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Incorrect Night Ravens Quotes

Ortho: Vil Schoenheit. AKA the Beautiful Queen. Since he has been beaten by the Snow White twink, he's been on a potion spree in a search for vengeance.

See the full post

863 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #okay you don't know how funny this is #first of all i don't remember how the heck i reblog myself a lot #if playing genshin somehow managed to boost that it's hilarious #second is the fact despite me doing a lot of long review #the post with the most note is a meme #also 3% post with no tag i forgor what those are #also proseka and tsukasa tenma is in the top tag #i don't know why is that so funny #i'm finally branching #also remind me to post that malleyuu glorious masquerade breakdown next month #this will probably the last post in 2022 #probably not lol

0 notes

kuromochimi · 3 years

Note

bonten ran rindou sanzu and koko (separate) kidnapping reader for her fathers debt but then they find out shes the family disappointment (they first found out when her father said smth like 'ok idgaf' when they called him) and they start treating her nicer then one day she breaks down at night and they come rushing :D angst to comfort pls -honestly would be platonic or romantic

oooh this request sounds interesting...

Better off Kidnapped

Content & Warnings: angst to fluff, kidnapping, cursing, depiction of panic attacks, unhealthy family relationships, mental health issues and suicidal thoughts, slight manga spoilers, MINORS DNI!, not proof read yet

It was dark. Or rather than dark, something was obscuring your vision and a tape was holding your mouth shut. You frantically tried to move around but you were tied tightly to a chair. You halted your movements when you heard faint footsteps headed your way. They got closer and closer until the cloth covering your head was pulled off, as well as the tape on your mouth. Your eyes adjusted to the light, finally getting a glimpse of where you were. It was a room which appeared to be an old events hall, now empty aside form you, the chair you were tied to, and the three men standing before you. "Where the fuck am I and who are you?" You shakily asked the men. "Watch that fucking mouth sweetheart, we don't want you getting killed off before we get what we want from you", the pink haired one spoke with a smirk "And what exactly do you want from me?". The other man, with lilac hair grabbed your jaw and turned your head his way "Why don't we call your daddy to get you out of this mess, hm?" You let out a bitter laugh.

"My father? You kidnapped the wrong person you assholes. You should have taken my eldest sister instead. That man doesn't give two shits about me. He'd thank you for taking me off his hands." The man holding your face finally let up, setting your jaw free, pushing a little too harshly. "Great bluff you got there but you aren't fooling anyone. Your father's gonna have to pay for his debts. Business is business."; "suit yourself then, go ahead, call him"

The other man who hasn't spoken yet, a silver haired man, pulled out what looks to be a burner phone. He dialed a number, your father's, you assumed, and put it on speaker. Two rings in and he answered.

"Hello? who's this" it was indeed, your father's voice

"Mr. l/n, how have you been? You've been doing a great job hiding from us. Too bad your family isn't in hiding, don't you think?" the pink haired guy was doing the talking

"I told you to stay the fuck away from my family. Am I not paying you fast enough? I'm doing my end of the deal. What did you do with my family?" Just then, the man holding the phone pulled your hair back, making you yelp as he put the phone near you "yn? Is that you?" You looked away, refusing to speak, not wanting to further disappoint your family. If you ever get saved from this hell hole of a situation, instead of giving comfort, they'd probably scold you first for getting yourself kidnapped. "If you don't pay by tomorrow evening, you're never getting her back" the lilac haired one stated. You were trying to put up a brave front but you were honestly terrified. Maybe your family had at least a little ounce of pity for you. You desperately hoped they'd actually do something to save you. A loud laugh sounded from the handheld phone in front of you. A laugh coming from your father. "Are you seriously threatening me with that useless daughter of mine? Keep her, I doubt you'd find any purpose for her anyway. Do what you want, I couldn't care less" and then only the sound of a beep remained, signaling that he had ended the call. A moment of silence remained for a few minutes until you spoke. "What did I say? I told you he won't be concerned for me. Just kill me or something, I don't even care anymore". The small glimmer of hope and wanting to live which existed in you moments ago all disappeared in an instant. You didn't even know what you were expecting. Of course, he wouldn't want the family disappointment to come back anyway. No one would. The three men momentarily left you alone in the room again but you could over hear their whispering from beyond the doors. "Do we just kill her? We can't set her free, she's seen too much"

"The fuck? I honestly feel bad for her after hearing that, maybe we can have her work for us"

"Turn her into a criminal? I doubt she'd do that"

"No, just here in the hideout, paper work and house work and shit"

"Yeah I guess we can do that, we did just lose a few people last time we got raided"

The doors opened once again. There was another man by the door but he left after taking look at you. Then the three men approached you again, they gave you two options, get killed or work for them at this hideout. While you didn't have a drive to live, you were unsure of death at the moment so you agreed to follow their orders and work for them. They introduced you to the rest of the executives, the head of the gang, someone they called mikey, left you in the care of (rindou / sanzu / koko / ran)

Haitani Rindo:

Despite the nature of his work, rindo wasn't all bad. Honestly, he felt bad for how your dad treated you. Rindou was family oriented to some extent. He highly valued his relationship with his brother and he couldn't imagine even treating his family the way your father treated you. And all of this is based only on that one phone call. How much worst were you being treated at home?

"Sir? excuse me? I thought you needed me for something?" Rindou didn't notice how he was spacing out until you called him. "Yeah I was going to say that you could get the rest of the day off, we're done with work. You can't leave the house though. Mikey's going to kill me" you nodded and began to walk away when your stomach suddenly growled. Safe to say, you were somehow embarrassed. "Hey, yn, was it? get back here" you broke in cold sweat, was being hungry a bad thing? Nevertheless, you walked back to him, a little shaky. "What do you want to eat?" He calmly asked which confused you. "I'm sorry?"; "I'm asking what you wanted to eat. You're hungry, aren't you?" The utter confusion on your face was obvious. "So? What is it?" you snapped back into reality "oh I guess.. anything will do" He nodded, took his phone out and ordered food. When he was finished, he told you to wait for the food by the door and just eat by yourself. Before he walked out of the room, he looked back at you and said: "I'm rindou by the way, I'm in charge of you so you better not rat us out to the police" Not like you could anyway. The food arrived not long after, you quite enjoyed your meal, you had your own room as well so you had quiet and alone time. It has been a long day so once you finished bathing, you fell asleep right after. You woke up at around 2am. With nothing else to do, the situation started sinking in to you. You were at a criminal gang's place. Your father basically just left you out to die if not for the three men who asked you to work for them. You were alone and vulnerable and it made your head and heart hurt. You stepped out of your room and headed to the kitchen to grab some water to calm yourself but you just couldn't get ahold of what was happening. You suddenly couldn't move or even breathe anymore. You sat down, slumping against the kitchen wall, hugging your knees, crying, and hyperventilating making you grab your chest tightly, trying to release some of the restraint and heaviness. Rindou, whose room was close to the kitchen was baffled. Was there an intruder? You stepped out to check and there he found you on the floor, in a state of panic and in the middle of breaking down. He didn't know what washed upon him but he ran to your side, grabbing a bottled water on the way. He rubbed your back to help ease your panic, giving you breathing instructions, he didn't even realize that you were holding onto his arms tightly. Once you calmed down, your body felt weak and tired. He opened the bottled water and handed it to you. You reluctantly took it and drank half of it before taking the lid from his hand and closing it yourself. Rindou sat in the floor on the spot beside you. "Are you okay now?" He asked which again, surprised you. "y-yeah I'm sorry you had to see that" He gave you a head pat before he stood up, offering his hand to help you up. "Get up" You took his hand and followed his instructions. "Where are we going?"; "We're going for a drive. If you want to that is. I'm in charge of you after all, can't have you being sad like that again now can we?"

Sanzu Haruchiyo

"So? What did you do for your family to drop you just like that" You were sitting together with the pink haired man who introduced himself as haruchiyo, in one of the hideout's living rooms. He was sat across from you, smoking a cigar while you looked down, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. "Hey, yn, why aren't you answering?" you looked up in an instant, quite a bit scared, actually but still, you replied. "Well for starters, I'm a middle child, starts the taboo you know?" You joked before continuing "I didn't pursue a college major which they believed to be worth my time, I'm constantly in my room, I don't pay attention to my image as much as they believe I should, Basically, it's just because of who I am as a person" Haruchiyo sat there, surprised that you actually opened up to him like that, then he chuckled. "Well doesn't that make the two of us. I'm a middle child too. In fact, of three siblings, I'm the only one who ended up this bad. Not that I care though, you should probably stop caring too" he blew another puff of smoke. "Easy for you to say, you're not kidnapped and trapped like me"; "Come on sweetheart, I already probably treat you better than that ass of a father of yours ever did."

"Well for starters, at least my dad doesn't threaten to kill me like you did" haruchiyo put his cigarette out on the ash tray beside him. "No? But I wouldn't leave you out to die now that I'm in charge of you". With a bitter smile, you replied, "This is ridiculous, a criminal is taking pity on me. A criminal is treating me better than my own family"; "A piece of advice here, yn. Just do as I say. Don't worry, you won't have to do extremes, I don't trust you enough for that yet. Just follow my orders and none of the other people here will ever lay a finger on you. I assure you, you'll be safe. Just don't butt heads with me and don't make trouble"

"Are you ever going to let me leave?" you asked him. "Depends. Do you want to leave now?" You thought about what your father had said and if haruchiyo was telling the truth that you'd be safe at least for a while, you ended up agreeing to come to terms with what he had in mind. That night, you couldn't sleep. Did you make the right decision? Who in their right mind would ever choose to stay with their kidnappers instead of coming home? But did you even have a home anymore? You were previously still staying with your family but it seems like they whole heartedly erased you from their lives, left you in the hands of the people they were indebted to. You didn't realize how you were crying continuously now. You decided to come out to one of the house's balconies but once you opened the door, you found haruchiyo there, smoking again. He turned around at the sound of the door opening. His eyes widened when he saw you, eyes puffy and face full of tears. He motioned for you to take the spot beside him and you did. "Wanna smoke?" you shook your head and declined the offer. Your tears still flowed freely. Suddenly, he shoved his handkerchief in front of your face. "jesus, yn, you have snot all over your face, that's not how a grown woman should behave" you took it and cleaned yourself up. "Who the fuck even cares how I behave anymore?"; "I do. My subordinates must always look presentable, else my clients won't take me seriously during meetings. It's pretty amusing how you're so eased into this arrangement already. You're kidnapped, you know? You're so chill about this"

"Oh I mean, my kidnapper is treating me better than my own father ever did. But it's not like I want to stay here, I just won't struggle now, you'd kill me if I did, right?"

"No, I won't. You have until tomorrow to get out if you want to, I'll make up an excuse for when Mikey asks"

"Maybe I'll stay for a while"

Kokonoi Hajime

You have been walking for around five minutes now. The silver haired man, who introduced himself as koko, still hasn't uttered a sigle word aside from his introduction. "I heard from mikey that you're in charge of finances. Can I just ask how much my father owes you?" koko stopped walking to turn back to you. He looked up as if rummaging for the correct numbers. "He owes us twenty million yen". Figures. He had dozens of failed businesses and your siblings both went to high tuition universities. So this was where he got the money from. "Can you handle numbers well? Because mikey put you under my supervision and I can't take in someone who can't handle numbers"

"Yes I can, that's fine, I guess?" This guy was far more stoic and serious than the other two you previously met. "This is my office, you'll be staying here in the mean time. And, yn, don't tell mikey I said this but if you want out, I'm giving you the freedom to. I'll leave the doors open until tonight. Just tonight, If you want to leave, leave quietly, don't leave a trace" You were shocked to say the least. You immediately thought of leaving but where would you go. Your family had technically cut you off, you had no financial support, no home, you had friends but you didn't burden them with your financial needs. "Just until tonight, okay?" And just like that, he left you alone with thoughts lingering in your head.

Night time arrived with the blink of an eye. You were pacing back and forth in front of the door, repeatedly going between holding the door know and retreating from it over and over. You were obviously panicked. Your breathing was irregular, your eyes were blown, your hair disheveled, your body jittery all over. Your movements stopped when you felt another presence approaching you. You squinted to see better and you realized it was him. koko. "I told you to leave quietly. You're making a fuss"; "I'm sorry"

"So? Are you leaving?" his question further pressured you. Sure, this was crazy stupid. Why were you even thinking about staying with your kidnappers? It was beyond insane. But then again, your family was more insane for letting this happen like you weren't even blood related at all. "yn, mikey's going to catch on if you keep dragging this, I can't help you if that happens" You knew he was trying to help you come to a decision but instead, the panic, overthinking, and stress got the best of you. Your knees giving in, causing you to fall on the floor and to squeeze your hands. hard. to the point where your nails nearly made wounds on your palms. Koko noticed this and he knelt in front of you, guiding you to release your tightly balled fists. "You're going to hurt yourself like that" You slowly looked up at him, he had a soft expression on his face. He guided you up and gently escorted you back to your room, helping you situate yourself on the bed. He left your room but returned a few moments later with a glass of water at hand. He set it down on your bedside table. Suddenly, he set down another item, making a clinking sound when he placed it there. You turned your head and found a key beside the glass of water. "That's a key to the front doors. You can leave if you want to". With such a kind expression, he looked at you before leaving your room.

Haitani Ran

You didn’t see much of him previously. But honestly, he scared the living shit out of you. He was holding a fucking baton for crying out loud and that for some reason, scared you more than a man holding a gun.

“I’m going to be frank here, yn, was it? I’m ran by the way”. You nodded. He took you to his office where you were currently sitting on the other side of his desk while he browsed his large collection of books and weapons displayed together on one shelf. “I have no need for a new subordinate. But I won’t mind taking you in but I hate it when people half ass things so if you don’t really want this, you can leave. Don’t worry about mikey, I’ll handle him.”; Ran glanced at you for little while, he finally noticed how tattered and dirty your clothes were and how you were practically shaking. From fear or cold? He sighed heavily before offering his jacket to you. He wasn’t there when rindou, koko, and sanzu kidnapped yoh nor was he there when they called your father but rindou updated him with what was happening and honestly, ran felt bad. Despite the fact that he was a criminal and heartless for the most part, he still couldn’t imagine dropping his family, his brother, like what your family did to you. “Get cleaned up, yn. There are spare clothes in my drawer over there though I reckon they’re too big for you but it’s better than nothing. The bathroom is down the hall. Last door to the right.” His sudden act of kindness got you shaken up a little but nevertheless, you did clean yourself up. All the grime and messy appearance made you feel icky. Once you stepped out of the bathroom, wearing a shirt and sweat pants way too big for you, another lady, a maid, as ran called her, escorted you to your room.

All the time since they called your father, your mind never stopped thinking about how disregarded you were in your family. How much disrespect your father’s words made you feel. You felt small and worthless. You remembered ran’s extensive collection of weapons and how he said you could come to his office if you needed anything. So you did go there. And it was a relief that he was out of his office. You carefully took a gun from his shelf, checking to see if it was loaded. You didn’t even know what you were doing and how to use the gun itself but you were fumbling about clumsily, hands shaking, you were also crying profusely. You were about to hold the gun up when ran entered his office, shocked at the first thing he saw which was you with a gun at hand. His quick deduction let him figure out what was going on, he took long strides to reach you, snagging the gun from your hand and pulling you away from the shelf full of weapons. He knew very well that you didn’t want to shoot the gun but you were backed into a corner and you felt like you had no choice. He knew because he was once in the same predicament of feeling hopeless. Your eyes were begging him to stop and you he was glad he did. “Don’t do that. You can stay here for a while, just don’t think about doing that”

“That’s real bullshit coming from you though, ran. You kill people for a living.”; “well whatever you say but I don’t wanna kill you so I’m keeping you alive right here”

2K notes · View notes

fedzkun · 3 years

Text

Villain Hunt Arc Meta: All For One’s Horrific Guide to Methodically Breaking Down Your Local OFA Holder

Ft. Turning the ‘Overpoweredness’ of OFA into a Setback, and AFO’s Successful Manipulations Of Midoriya Izuku

In which I also give AFO too much credit for all the pain he’s probably caused, and theorize that his plans to break Izuku actually started getting enacted even before he’d escaped Tartarus.

(A.k.a. me loving the angst because this is really good angst writing, but also hating it because the manga doesn’t come with a Angst with A Happy Ending tag unless you count Izuku’s ‘this is the story of how I became the greatest hero’ which isn’t really a guarantee of happiness )

So. What an arc! In the span of ten chapters (starting from the end of the War arc) Hori delivered a full-on Villain-looking, Vigilante Midoriya Izuku. Congratulations, Horikoshi, for finally introducing Akatani Mikumo!

The fast pacing and lack of breather panels are so fitting for this arc truly. AFO never gave them a moment’s rest. Yes, from henceforth as he’d promised... It’s always going to be his turn.

Izuku is making amazing progress with unlocking the full power of One For All. In his words, his abilities might as well already be on par with what a healthier All Might could do, and with no recoil to boot. Plus, there’s only one last quirk to unlock. For villain fights, I don’t think we need to worry about him losing, or him breaking anymore bones at this time.

Which, some might argue, makes Izuku too ‘OP.’

To start with, I want to talk first about the ‘overpoweredness’ of the One For All quirk. It’s a wonderful quirk truly, having inspired and amazed so many because of its sheer power. Used well, it could grant instant victories and restore the people’s wavering faith to the heroes. Because with a quirk like that on your side, everything’s going to be alright, right? There’s always gonna be that bit of hope that something is still strong enough to stand against the looming evil...right?

Yeah. That’s what the people who’d lived under All Might’s Era of Peace thought so too. History repeats.

OFA’s ‘OP-ness’ is both a great blessing and a great burden.

Here are some points on how the narrative has made OFA's 'overpoweredness' a setback:

1. All For One—that bastard—exploits the urge that comes with OFA. Just as ‘AFO the quirk’s’ goal is to steal OFA, OFA’s job is to defeat AFO, and Izuku is sacrificing himself to its cause.

Here’s another thing I want to point out: The conclusion that the heroes drew about AFO planning to capture Midoriya Izuku alive? In rereading, I’m starting to believe it’s nothing but a mere assumption of his plans. Aside from the deal made with Lady Nagant—of which I think AFO didn’t take seriously anyway and set her up for failure— (and while we as readers are already aware of his true intentions to wear Izuku down) it’s weird that nowhere had AFO directly mentioned to Izuku that he’s going to kidnap him and take his quirk from him.

2. OFA made Izuku so brilliant (e.g. Pros and former Pros alike going “This kid...”) that they really can't help but place all their hopes on him. Sighs. In an ideal world, this would be a dream come true of Izuku getting his due credit for all his heroic achievements Pro heroes have started to do to Izuku what they’ve done all their lives to All Might--which is to put him on the pedestal, while they fall back to cover him like guards/safety net. Hence, falling back to the One Pillar Model mindset.

3. OFA makes Izuku untouchable, not only to the villains, but also to his allies. Prime material to reinforce isolation. And if Izuku doesn't want to be caught, he won't make it easy for either side.

4. OFA IS SUS AF, OKAY? What are the Holders doing?! While gaining access to them makes it easier and convenient to have personal trainers in handling OFA, the vestiges prove to add a lot to Izuku’s mental load. If they’d allowed Izuku to come to the point of being caked with blood and filth, they’re not doing very well at guiding him. Realize that most of their arc interactions with Izuku is Quirk Talk. They, of all people, should know how AFO’s machinations work! Hey First, for the love of god, warn Izuku! He’s showing so many signs of being manipulated that you should be picking up on. please /sobs ;;

Tbf, like, I’m pretty sure that the Holders haven’t been as mentally okay either, which would feed into Izuku’s current mindset.

Now that the setbacks have been listed, let’s dive in to AFO’s plans to toy with Midoriya Izuku.

PHASE 1: Pre-Tartarus Breakout

Speaking of OFA being sus, there’s something that has been niggling at the back of my mind.

All For One basically tells Izuku: “You were my main interest that entire time I was in prison”. So, to pass the time in Tartarus (since he can’t use any(?) of his quirks), AFO has been doing nothing but apparently daydreaming and designing a personal hell for the Ninth Holder during that entire period. HOWEVER, it also made me wonder…

…Even before he’d broken out, had AFO made any moves at all in enacting his plans to break Izuku?

Yeah?

And here’s the kicker: he says that before Blackwhip bursted out.

AFO is a master manipulator. Assuming that Izuku doesn’t have any latent AFO quirk (for whatever reason *coughs* maybe dfo if you're a believer) or that Quirk Singularity has anything to do with it, what is the trigger to Izuku suddenly having access to Blackwhip?

I’d argue that it is All For One himself.

Why? What’s his goal? If you notice during the Joint Training arc, Izuku is feeling pretty confident about his progress. He’s rather happy and feeling blessed, and he is making leaps and bounds with base power OFA.

AFO can’t have that. He can’t allow the Ninth Holder to become too emotionally stable, or else he’d have a stronger will. So by somehow activating Blackwhip, AFO makes Izuku feel like he hasn’t made any progress with his quirk at all. During the evaluations, Izuku mentions that he still needs a lot to work on, and while not all of it is visible, with the way he behaves, it’s pretty evident that his self-confidence has taken a rather large hit.

But, wait! If AFO had tampered with OFA during the JT arc, paving the way to unlocking the rest (like he’d also done during the War arc when he tried to ‘steal’ it then), then wouldn’t AFO be sabotaging himself since he’d be making Izuku a more formidable opponent?

Sure. Except that the quirks inside OFA are mostly useless when it comes to the mental part of the fighting. The only thing they’re useful for is for the current Holder to be able to play keep-away in the physical realm. And AFO could easily just find counters for those through his work on Tomura.

You know how else the situation becomes advantageous for AFO? With every quirk unlocked, Izuku’s goalposts keep on getting away from him, and Izuku will always feel like he isn’t ready or prepared enough. Izuku will push and push himself to master OFA to its fullest, to become more powerful, at the cost of his mental/emotional stability and physical wellbeing as he wears himself down.

And every time Izuku grew more powerful, and became more ‘OP,’ he is burdened with all the aforementioned setbacks that came with it. He could be the most powerful person in the world, but it’s all for naught if he doesn’t take care of himself. This plan is both a high risk and high reward on AFO’s part, and as of the moment, with a bloody Izuku staggering all over, AFO is visibly reaping these high rewards.

PHASE 2: Post-Tartarus Breakout

He’s going to toy with Izuku until Izuku fucking breaks. What follows is his series of actions that instills the desired responses from Midoriya Izuku. Let’s see how the master manipulator plays this game of chess, shall we?

Izuku’s plan: Reach out to villains and try to save them.

AFO’s counter: Kill off those who turn their back against villainy and/or acknowledge Izuku as a true hero.

Izuku’s resulting response: Stop reaching out to villains. Gain an instant victory and move on.

After all, what do you get when you block a hero from showing sympathy? You get an unfeeling living weapon.

---

Izuku’s plan: Work with the top pro heroes to bring down AFO.

AFO’s counter: Make plans that will serve to highlight how the top pros are just slowing Izuku down. (e.g. Making moves while it’s raining, so as to divide them, but also to bring out No. 1 Hero Endeavor’s "slowness" in the rain. Nope, I don’t think that’s a throwaway line at all.)

Izuku’s resulting response: Grows more reckless, often leading the charge.

---

Izuku’s plan: Track AFO down.

AFO’s counter: Lead them to dead-ends. Or when they do supposedly reach something, endanger them.

Izuku’s resulting response: His tunnel vision worsens, as he grows more desperate.

---

Izuku’s plan: All Might following him around is okay since it would help All Might from worrying so much, and Izuku could simultaneously keep an eye on and protect All Might.

AFO’s counters: There are a lot to really fuck with this bond, damn you AFO.

Taint that passing the torch memory of ‘You’re Next.’

Declare that All Might no longer interests him. Liar. He outright stated before that he’s one for keeping a grudge

Send another assassin to Izuku [Underlying Message: You yourself are a walking danger zone to those whom you dearly care for.]

Izuku’s resulting response:

Interpret that memory of ‘You’re Next’ as taking up the position of being AFO’s shiny new plaything, and therefore supposedly sparing All Might from the torment (Unfortunately, making Izuku push AM away is just part of the torment ;A;)

Think that AM is no longer in the direct line of fire as long as AFO focuses on Izuku

Finally, push his last line of morale support away, and completely isolate himself.

Btw, I wonder how All Might feels about Izuku using Nana's quirk to get away from him.

---

The suffering doesn’t end.

Izuku’s plan: Save people.

AFO’s counters: (possibly offscreen) Send more villains and assassins to torment Izuku some more with the knowledge that he can’t save them. Sending villains out also puts innocents in danger.

Izuku’s resulting response: He won’t stop for anything. He won’t sleep, won’t eat, won’t slow down. He will always do his best to save as long as someone is in danger.

His body will keep on moving and moving and MOVING on its own.

--- All For One is very effective as a supervillain. He has managed to make the heroes think that his only goal is to capture Izuku alive for his quirk. He has Izuku right where he wants him: dancing to his tune at the palm of his hand, utterly toyed with, left with no escape in sight.

Psychologically vaulted.

PHASE 3

And so, if Izuku is being manipulated to drive himself further and further into self-destruction, what then is there left for All For One to do?

So much more. Because, my god, I think AFO has mastered the art of traumatizing the OFA Holders.

All For One once told All Might, “I will destroy all that you’ve protected.” And boy, is he delivering. He's definitely not done with AM btw.

First, he destroys All Might's image. And he is manipulating Izuku to drive himself to that point. To looking into his absolute worst.

And when that point arrives, AFO will hammer the final nail home.

Something like...

BEHOLD

JAPAN’S SYMBOL OF PEACE.

And oh, how it'll hurt. To see All Might's pride and joy be flaunted about as looking nothing like a hero to the masses, for him to be so utterly humiliated.

"See what I did to All Might's successor."

AFO will be banking upon the possibility that the angry masses will not want to be saved by whom they're tricked into viewing as someone that's the cause of all the pain. Izuku might have the willpower to stay true to his resolve, but with him on the verge of total breakdown, what would happen when he is shunned by the very people he is trying to help?

I once wrote a post about how the current events seem to be a bastardization of Izuku's wildest fantasies: he's working with the top pros, he has the most powerful quirk, and he's working with All Might (whom technically acts as a sidekick to him rn).

AFO has warped all that into a never-ending nightmare. And Izuku...

Izuku is really in need of saving.

Last thoughts:

Let me just say that it shouldn't be a competition about who gets to get through to Izuku. Right now, he’s gonna need all the help he can get, and it can’t be delivered by only one or two people. Saving Izuku is going to be a team effort, a solid support system that sees Izuku as their classmate/friend/student/actual person that they care about. And there’s sufficient space for that.

More hands reaching out means more chances to catch him if he falls.

#bnha #bnha 317 #bnha manga #bnha analysis #bnha meta #all for one #afo #midoriya izuku #all might #toshinori yagi

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athena-simpingforanimemen · 3 years

Text

Something to Consider

Chapter One | Sometime In 2007

Chapters| One Two Three Four Five

Synopsis| Having a special technique that hasn’t been passed down in over a 100 years, you’ve been amongst the strongest since birth but with no clan of your own to clam this technique. It causes the Clans to offer arranged marriages left and right. Overwhelmed parents turn to your aunt's clan and the Zenin’s are happy to step in, in hopes you will pass down the technique down to them.

Whole story contains themes| arranged marriage, angst, violence, death, swearing? sexual harassments(nothing crazy) and of course SMUT.

Authors note| This is about the road to marrying Gojo, it’s gonna be long and filled with angst because I'm mean. This story starts with the reader being around 11ish. Has a little bit of manga spoilers from vol.8 because it has Toji. Hope you like it. This is written for my two whore best friends. :)

Sitting in the back of a black sedan, the rain and some random talk radio station playing softly. The sounds of the rain on the roof made you sleepy. You let out a sigh, pressing your head against the window, watching as the water droplets race. You had just gotten out of school when you heard your mothers fussing through the thick wood of the front door. Not even getting the chance to greet her, she was already on you about changing into something nice; tossing clothes around in a hurry. Your father on the other hand was calm, casually chatting with you while your mother rushed around in a tizzy.

You didn’t have the time to ask what this was about or why you needed to hurry before your mother pushed you into the car with Suzuki. Suzuki was your personal driver and bodyguard appointed by the Zenin clan. She was always so kind and patient, putting up with your snappy comments and pre-teen attitude. Even when you were being difficult she never got upset with you. You never understood why she was appointed to such a low grade job. She was incredibly strong. What was all the fuss about you and your technique anyway?

Suzuki taking you to the Zenin Estate after school was a common occurrence, usually it was for training but today it seemed more important than just that. You were your parents' prized possession because the Zenin clan convinced them of it. Your parents weren’t sorcerers but your mothers family was long ago. They possessed The Divine Panther, it hadn’t been passed down in over 100 years and by some miracle you got it. The Zenin’s took the opportunity, hoping you would pass it down into their clan but that wasn’t completely up to them. Not like they treated you like you were special. Pushing you so hard to master your technique while most of them looked down upon you. Most likely because your cursed energy was “weird” as Noaya said. Most of the youth are scared to train with you. So why train when everyone is already scared of you in the first place? The Zenin’s didn’t even fully understand your technique or so they say but they knew you were strong. Special grade strong, up there with the six eyes. “But just appearing strong isn’t the same as being strong.” Noaya would always say to you. I’m sure someone older and wiser than him told him that. Those words are far too sophisticated for a boy like him.

“Where are we even going, Suzuki-san?” you ask, moving your head from the window.

She looked at you through the rearview mirror as she spoke. “We are headed to the Zen’in residence, they wanted you to attend a clan meeting. Did your parents not tell you?”

You shake your head, crossing your arms. “No, they were too busy picking out clothes and telling me how to properly greet people, like I don't know how to.” Shifting your kimono as you grumble. “I’m not even a Zenin. Why do they want me there?”

“I’m sure they just want to include you.” She smiled in assurance.

She wasn’t wrong, but for some reason you didn’t like the feeling you got. It wasn’t that they wanted to include you in a clan meeting. The clan meeting was about you. They wanted you to marry one of theirs for the gain of power but they weren’t the only clan that wanted it. It was like a bidding war. It wasn’t really up to them, it was up to your parents in the end and the Zenin’s would do anything to sway them their way. A nice home, the best schools, private drivers. It was all just a ploy to get them to agree to an arranged marriage.

The soft sound of the radio and the rain made the ambiance of the car relaxing, distracting you from the scenery slowly turning into landmarks you didn’t recognize, the winding road getting more and more wooded as she drove.

“Well, now where are we going?” You question, bringing your attention up to her. “You’re not gonna murder me right?”

Your comment makes her chuckle. “No, I wouldn't dream of it!” The car turned into a long driveway. “I forgot to mention I had to stop at Jujutsu High to pick up Gojo Satoru.”

“A Gojo? I thought you worked for the Zenins?” Your little eyebrows furrow as you settle back into your previous position against the window. Looking at the well manicured landscaping as The car comes to a stop outside a large stair walkway that looks like it leads far into the woods.

“I work for a few people. I have to drop him off for something.”

“Something? Like what?”

“Well, that is not my business.” She shrugged.

Your attention was brought to the stairs, watching as a tall, white haired boy ran down the steps with his hands in his black uniform. He looked smug wearing sunglasses in the rain. His cursed energy grew stronger as he approached the car. Your head turned back to the window as he got closer. Seconds later the car door opened. Watching his reflection in your window as he got in. His cursed energy was strong, stronger than yours. You could see him look over at you through the reflection of the car window.

“Oh man, it's really pouring isn't it Suzuki-San?” He said, leaning forward to greet her.

He smelled like expensive cologne and hard candies. Almost like he had melted ones in his pocket. Suzuki turned around to look at him with an expression you have never seen.

“Hello, Gojo.” She smiled, leaning her arm on the middle console.

Your head still resting against the car window, watching the interaction. Pre-teen angst stirring around your aura. This isn’t worth missing your favorite show and you have to talk to people you don’t really like in the most uncomfortable kimono to ever exist. Now you have to watch Suzuki swoon over this Gojo guy. You had a good feeling he might be annoying, usually you’re pretty good at reading people and he seemed full of himself. The whole thing makes you want to just jump out of the car.

He leaned back in his seat as Suzuki started driving. He gave off an interesting energy to say the least, intimidating in a way but you felt a childishness that radiated off of him making you assume he couldn’t be much older than you. Not only that, he was texting someone; the clicking of his phone slightly irritating. Yeah, you weren’t a fan. He definitely was going to be annoying.

“You shouldn’t run down stairs with your hands in your pockets.” You stated.

Watching his fuzzy reflection pause, his attention moving to you. A smile grew on his face as he looked at you. All angsty and pretending to be uninterested. Don’t think you're the only one who can feel cursed energy and read people. He felt yours far before he got into the car and by the looks of it, you would be fun to mess with.

“Hm and why is that?” He placed his phone in his lap. What an interesting way to greet a stranger.

“You really don’t know?” You looked over at him with a scowl, only to be met with an amused smile and sunglasses.

“Nope.” he shook his head. “You shouldn’t start a conversation so harshly. Maybe try with your name next time.”

Oh, another Naoya? Fun. You thought. The way he spoke was like he was mocking you. So smug like you should be grateful to be in his presence and you couldn’t stand it. “You shouldn’t wear sunglasses inside, it's rude, plus it's raining.”

His eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. “It is raining, good job kid.”

“Whatever.” You turned away. Mostly to stop yourself from starting something that would get you in trouble.

“You know.” he pondered, finger tapping his chin. “If you treat people this way, you won't find a husband.” You felt him lean over to you, hand resting uncomfortably close to your leg but moving away would let him know you were affected by his actions and the more you react the more they keep being annoying. You learned that from Naoya.

“Oh, I don’t want one.” You stated, looking at him. “I-um.” The second part of your snarky comment dying on the tip of your tongue. The edges of his lips turned up into a cheeky smirk, crystal blue eyes and white eyelashes peaking over the rim of his black sunglasses. In all honesty It made you shut up, his closeness made you lose your edge and Gojo ate it up. He noticed how your posture changed ever so slightly, shifting around nervously as you tried to remember your sarcastic comment. Gojo was right, you would be fun to tease.

“Go on?” He teased, leaning ever so slightly closer to you. You didn’t answer. Scrunching your nose at him. His close proximity made you blush. Why did that make you nervous? It’s not like he was that handsome. (This is a lie, he is very handsome. Unfortunately.)

“Satoru.” Suzuki’s soft voice cut in, her head shaking lightly as she looked at the pair of you through her mirror. Her expression was sharp as Gojo made eye contact with her. He then looked back at your flush face before falling back against his seat with a sigh. Suzuki’s looks speak a thousand words but she must have known him well for her to address him like that. You were just grateful she saved you, the blush on your face fading while the sounds of talk radio filled the silence in the car.

Your thoughts brought you to the Zen’in clan meeting. You really didn’t care too much about these things, everyone was always so pretentious, always going on about something you pretended to listen to. Noaya was the worst, of the younger ones that is. Always bullying everyone, especially the girls. He was so vulgar about it too but It didn’t bother you the way he wanted or at least you didn’t show it. Plus it was too much fun to watch his reactions. Boys like him need to be kicked down a peg or two anyway. A/N:(Or be pegged..hehehe)

“Suzuki-san? Do you think Noaya will be there today?” You question breaking the silence.

“I’m sure he will, why do you ask?”

“No reason.” you sigh.

Gojo glanced over at you. “Is that your boyfriend or sumin’?”

“Ew No.” You shook your head. “He calls me a dog or... other things.. So, I bite him.”

“Ya’ one of those weird kids?” He chuckled.

“No. But if you're going to call someone a dog, don't act surprised when they bite you.” You shrug. He was silent, looking at you over his glasses with amusement— you did have a point.

“You’re kinda proving my point here.”

“If you knew him you would understand, he definitely deserves it.”

“Mhm.” Gojo nodded, turning back to his phone. It was quiet again before he spoke.

“Well, he's probably just got a crush on you.”

“Ugh, I hope not.” You say with disgust. “Plus, I don't think you would say the things he says to someone you like.”

“Like what?”

“I’d rather not repeat them.”

The car parking ended your conversation. You had stopping in a part of town you’ve never seen, It was fairly creepy. No bus stops or open stores, just abandoned stores and warehouses. You heard Gojo let out a small sigh before he unbuckled and opened the door, the sound of the rain filled the car as he got out.

“Where are you going?” you ask. “Why are you getting out here? It's creepy.”

You had leaned over the middle seat to speak to Gojo, looking up at his tall frame as he stepped out. “Wait? Don’t tell me you actually like me?” He said, you could practically hear the smirk on his lips as he spoke.

“No, I’m just concerned for my own safety.” You said, smiling up at him a teasing glint in your eye. He chuckled, straightening his jacket as he bent down to look at you. Your Seat-Belt stretched as far as it could go in to speak with him. And for the second time since meeting him he makes you blush. His eyes locked with yours as he spoke, his tone no longer filled with its usual teasing nature.

“That's probably a good thing.” He smiled, swinging the door shut.

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo saturo x reader #gojo sensei #gojo saturo x you #gojo saturo #jjk x reader #jjk gojo #gojo smut #gojo x you #gojo fanfic #Gojo Satoru smut #Gojo Satoru x reader #Gojo Satoru x you #Gojo Satoru #gojo satoru fanfic

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riewritten · 2 years

Text

09 RESOLVE

DUSK IN THE BRIGHTEST | chapter directory

erwin smith/fem!reader, erwin smith/you, no y/n | slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff & smut, mutual pining, canon AU, college/univ AU, professor erwin smith, commander erwin smith, non-linear narrative, manga spoilers

Trigger warning: canon-typical violence, graphic description, explicit sexual content, suicidal thoughts, mental health issues, trauma, implied/referenced sexual harassment, implied/referenced abuse, attempted murder, overdosing

Plot: It was always the nightmares, really. Entrapped with walls, human-eating giants, fighting through metal strings and swords – utterly violent, dreary, recurrent. But behind the blurry faces was a man with menacing blue eyes and vivid features; eventually appearing before you as your new reputable professor, Erwin Smith. Since then, the disaster had slipped beyond your subconscious. AO3

You don’t remember having a proper conversation with anyone ever since the catastrophe with Levi’s friends happened. You were spacing out at work, ended up going too hard with training to the point of injuring your fellow soldiers, and your consistent behavior garnered disapprobation from your higher-ups*, except your squad leader. Fortunately, Erwin spared you from blatant displeasure throughout the period and won't call you out whenever you drift away from meetings. His lack of interaction was something you were thankful for. It's not that you’re still angry, rather the things you had realized during the previous expedition stuck on you hard. It's just that your mind blocked out every emotion and coherent thought perhaps due to shock or exhaustion. You also kept a wide distance from Levi whom Isabel and Furlan left behind despite not having anything against him. Indeed, you’re well aware of how the catastrophe affected him but his unfazed demeanor at Erwin’s presence disturbed you — no hint of annoyance, anger, or disdain. Perhaps it was the insecurity that the actual person they had left behind stayed in line with his duties without difficulty.

It stayed like that until your squadmate went to you with an order at hand, "Squad Leader Erwin is summoning you to his office right after lunch. I assume it's about your resignation."

You curled your eyebrows in confusion. "Huh? I don't remember submitting–" oh.

Indeed, you don't remember taking it out since you put it in the drawer months ago but then you realized it was a common drawer shared between your roommates. You were confident enough that they won’t do anything about it without your consent but you guess you overestimated them. Your face flushed in worry then. You may be disoriented after what happened but quitting the Scouts never crossed your mind again so far. But now that you think of it, given your recent behavior and month-long blandness, your time in the Scouting Regiment might finally come to an end.

Setting the emotions aside, you entered his office upon order. Erwin just sat there, still as grim and dark as he usually is. He took a couple of minutes to scrutinize you and without anyone breaking the silence, you realized that he won't let you easy this time.

"I have summoned you here to inform you of your transfer to a new squad. We have decided to form special operations consisting of soldiers with remarkable military prowess. It's just an experimental squad for now but I'm expecting exemplary results regardless. Someone from the higher up will be supervising the squad but when it's all established Levi will be the one to lead it." You remained unmoved from your position, prompting more explanation from the man. "With that, I expect you to finally knock some sense in your head and be the level-headed soldier that you are."

"I was made aware that the resignation letter I wrote before had reached you."

"And?" He replied blandly. It seems like he has no plans to consider it, not at all.

"I apologize. That letter was made in a huff and I don't plan to act on it, at least not anymore. I have no idea how it landed here but I admit I should've disposed of it immediately to save everyone from inconvenience."

Silenced enveloped the room again. You remained unmoved until he spoke, "That’s not enough to alleviate the heavy disappointment I had in you when I received that letter. And when I thought I'm not gonna be more disappointed than I already was the last time you stormed in here."

But the point I’ve made during that day still stands, setting the emotionality aside. "I would also like to apologize for my imprudent behavior."

"That incident alone was enough to get you demoted from your rank."

"I'd understand if that happens." I don’t mind it at all. Being demoted from my rank means fewer interactions with you.

"Well, I don't think it's needed now that you finally realized your mistake. Now, what about the resolve I told you to embody? I'd expect you to finally have that after having that girl die on you." And that’s when you almost slipped from your facade and clenched your fist in an attempt to hold it down. Acknowledging and understanding his behavior is one thing, but experiencing it all over again is another talk for acceptance. "I asked you a question. Answer."

"I can't seem to grasp how relevant this talk is with the matter you've addressed to me. I remember telling you that whether I embody the mission or die because of failure, that's not your concern as long as you can use my strength." You retaliated.

"And I completely agree with that, but I find it funny now that you still think you're able to be of good use with your strength given how awfully bad you are at it recently." His look was taunting this time. “Since that girl died."

The fists tightened more then. If he’d keep on mentioning Isabel as a weapon needed only for your development, you don't think you can compose yourself anymore. The anger you’re bottling up is spilling very terribly. "Where is this conversation going, Squad Leader?"

"I need to have your word that you'd fix this weakness of letting your emotions act for you. I'm having you transferred to a new squad so I expect you to have a proper and strong resolve to be of good use."

"If you doubt my abilities so much then I don't understand why you are transferring me to an elite squad."

"You're getting transferred because of your strength in defense. But with that attitude, what difference would it make whether you transfer or not? Being that weak-minded, you'd end up completely useless even in my squad." So what am I supposed to do? Your stomach churned, still lost in recognizing the rationale of this talk. You can't help but think this conversation is getting unwarranted. "That's why when I transfer you, I expect you to understand my lack of tolerance for your half-heartedness. As I said, strength alone won't make you out alive."

Your mind got silent from objections after he spat that. He got a point there, you thought. With the Scout soldiers dying every single time, this isn't a place for people who are not that emotionally strong. Two deaths of people dear to you were almost enough to shut you down. This is the time you should finally recognize that strength really won't suffice if you always falter like this. If you stay longer in this regiment, the death of your comrades would be the one to kill you instead of the titans.

"I suppose you're right. I should've known better than joining the Scout Regiment without a strong emotional threshold. Throughout the times I stayed here I still can't get myself to function properly after seeing people die. I'm taking back what I said about not resigning." Now, the indignation was replaced with guilt, not for him but for your brother. He might've seen you as someone so strong to ensure both of your survival inside the walls but this disposition is so much different. It's much easier to ensure survival between humans. You’re not afraid to die, not at all. But you really, really don't have enough emotional capacity to repeatedly see people die on you, especially if you were able to share meals with them.

"I thought I already established earlier that I don't plan to agree on your resignation.”

"Why? I'm being pathetically honest with you right now, Erwin."

"Your brother was one of the snitches I clinched so I could investigate the faction leader, Nicholas Lobov. It was him who informed me that Lobov had illicit connections to the company that delivers goods to the MPs with which he was allowed to embezzle. You’re right, a nobleman like him would do nothing but attempt to expand his luxury, even at the expense of humanity’s security from the titans.”

Your eyes widened in shock. The possibility of your brother being the one to give such information didn't cross your mind. At all. "So how is this relevant to my resignation?"

"You and your brother were elite soldiers from Military Police and the ones to clean up Lobov’s mess – that’s what I knew at first so I initially planned to just bring both of you down with Lobov if I won’t get your compliance. However, your brother made the whole process easier because he was sick of working for greedy noblemen and really believed that the world beyond the walls would help this land become a better place. So when he told me he dreamed of becoming a Scout, I instantly grabbed that opportunity to gather more soldiers along the way. More than that, I am aware he has a sister quite prominent as well. I heard you a lot with the other leaders and very much knew you won't hesitate to follow your brother whether you're sincere for the cause or not. I don't have any plans on dropping you yet."

It seems like the agenda of this talk shifts your emotions a bit too much. Now your anger is blurring the rationality again. Besides your brother telling Erwin so many stories about your lives, he did his own research as well to ensure you’d either end up here or dead.

"Just like the three of them – just like Isabel – we were all lured into the Survey Corps even before we knew it?"

"That's right." Erwin’s voice was too benign as if this wasn’t bothering at all. "Despite Lobov being convicted for his corruption, the anti-expedition is still here. The Scouting Regiment needs to make exceptional progress from hereon so I intend to make use of anyone who has even the smallest potential to do so."

Use.

The thought of being controlled and manipulated over and over since you heaved your first breath on this land prickles like a knife and no matter how hard you try you just can’t get it out. Every single event where you felt tied to the strings of every powerful figure in your life – parents manipulating the both of you so they could continue being the criminals that they are, leaving you to dirt when you failed to do your purpose. The Military Police using you to have your parents convicted, throwing you back on the ground when it's done. The noblemen in that rotten regiment controlling you like their little servants to wipe their asses. All of them.

And here comes this man being painfully honest about doing the same without hesitation. You have always been struggling to breathe and move; this man in front of you is a grim reminder that you would never get past this state. Even though you understand that Erwin just needs to be like this so he could continue moving forward towards a noble cause, you still can't do this, you can't go through him reminding you of your position in this world every single time.

"I don't think you could hold me back from resigning. I am withdrawing myself from being a Scout soldier right here." Your eyes devoid of glint and mouth set straight.

"I need to remind you that even though you're acquitted of being Lobov's pawn, you still involved yourself with his three spies. You knew what they planned to do and you did nothing to prevent it which put your higher-up in danger. I don't even need your outburst at me that day to get you blacklisted due to insubordination. I doubt you'd be able to go back to being an MP soldier or have a decent livelihood if you pushed that decision."

"In that case, then Levi–"

"Levi doesn't plan on leaving."

Unlike the people who previously pulled you in their strings, this man won't be dropping you on the ground if you’re not of any use, he'd certainly drop you to your death instead. "This is such a foul thing to do." You spat at him.

"As a Survey Corps soldier, we must be willing to do even the foulest of things just so we could protect our efforts in taking this world back from the titans," Erwin called out your name. "Don't take this personally. You must understand the reason you're being held down like this is that your skill is very much needed for us to make progress on that goal. I know you already understand how important our mission is after the numerous expeditions you’ve gone through. The only thing I need of you now is the resolve to embody that."

“You’re speaking as if you’re not using every personal aspect of my life to trap me down here. Bold of you to assume you’d have me develop resolve in that way.”

"How could I even trap you down when I'm not the one in control here? In fact, not a single one in this regiment does; the ones controlling all of us are the titans and every other being that keeps us under their mercy!” Finally, you’re not the only one frustrated in this room. “And if you won't put yourself in pursuit of humanity's freedom, you'll keep on being controlled as well, for the rest of your life, inside these walls! These titans are the ones that killed your brother, Isabel, and the people you ate meals with, and they would continue doing so until they break these walls, until we're all crushed to pieces! You should understand that we all have to be downright cruel in retaliation for this neverending dread!”

He glared at you with deep resentment at the catastrophic entrapment you face in these walls and urged you to do the same. You understand, you always have. Right after your brother died, you know how important all of these are. You just couldn’t get yourself to immerse in it because your life was centered on avoiding death whether it’s fleeting or not. Seeing people die on you daily would crack your head open. You did nothing but protect it. How could you just get past what you have been doing for decades? How could you live seeing that you can't actually protect anything?

“You were able to defend a lot of soldiers from titan encounters, enough to make them fight back. You're quick and strong enough to save your comrades. Almost all of the soldiers here are unable to even protect themselves, what are you even holding back for?"

"And why are you even holding me with such regard?” You choked on hot tears. “You say all of that when the first time I set foot outside the walls I wasn't able to save my brother!"

"And it's not your fault!" Erwin stood up from his seat. "It's not your fault you can't save everyone else but you do it better than anyone! That's why we need you here!" His voice is not seething anymore. He just remained firm, always sure of everything he says.

He watched you crumble in frustration and his eyes didn't falter until you registered everything he said. "I’m being this blunt to you because you know better than anyone else how cruel humans could be, especially those in power. And while being held down by them we have to face the titans at the same time. Do we really have a choice? A more humane method, perhaps?” It was silent for a while, and when he knew you were done arguing with this talk, he quickly regained his composure. "That's why I'm not letting your potential back to the enemy's grasp. I need you to devote your heart to this cause so you can protect those who genuinely need protection; your comrades from the titans and the Scouting Regiment from the humans you’ve already dealt with. If you completely understand how imperative your place is in this mission then nothing – not even me – can ever control you. Nothing but your own resolve."

You woke up with your mind spinning; as if the intense dread, anger, and every emotion that exchange exuded was brought beyond your subconscious. When you came down from it and finally arrived at school, you realized you had a fair share of entrapment in this world as well. You know to yourself how much you desire to face everyone involved in these nightmares, especially those who seem to have an idea of what's going on. The impatience of having this cycle continue mustered up a bit of courage to stop ghosting him from classes. Perhaps now is the time to finally confront him, however, when you saw his figure walking from afar you started to falter and your feet can't walk further.

If he's vividly aware of that world as well, how bad it tormented him being the man carrying the burden of his subordinates' lives? To have it haunt him down until here?

We do nothing in this world but exist, why would our actions haunt us even here?

The final trigger to have your limbs step back from him is that if he’s vividly aware of it just as you are, then everything is real. His existence in front of you will confirm that it’s real. These thoughts make your decisions easier said than done. Avoiding him for dear life yet again, you decided to stay and nap in the library during his classes so you don't cross paths.

However, this time someone seemed to notice you. You woke up feeling a cold can of drink glued on your right cheek. You huffed a tsk in annoyance but upon looking up, you saw the man you were avoiding sitting beside you with him not withdrawing the can on your face. You were too stunned to speak but he just stared straight at you regardless – not smiling, not frowning, just studying your features and waiting for you to explain.

"I'm sorry for skipping your classes." Was the first thing you blurted out that immediately banged yourself guilty. Satisfied with your confession, he finally rested the can on the table. It was a coffee drink.

"So you really are here to avoid my classes," You were certain it was supposed to be a question but it was let out as a statement instead. You fixed your composure by sitting properly; the guilt and shame had you look away from him.

On your peripheral, however, you saw him put one of his elbows on the table as he faced you fully on your seat. "What happened?" He said, concerned, and so your face faltered again — eyebrows furrowed, face crunched in frustration. Still, you didn’t answer so he reiterated, "I asked you a question."

As if it's on your instinct to act on anything he says with that tone of voice, you immediately spoke, albeit mindlessly. "Seeing you is too heavy to bear for me. I'm doing everything I could to not cross paths with you,"

"Is that so," Erwin muttered and so the weight of your words struck you. You instantly covered your mouth in surprise. You didn't mean to let it out like that. "Why?"

“I didn't– oh no– I didn't mean it." He remained unmoved with your panic, though. "I'm really sorry."

"You don't mean it?"

You gulped the lump forming in your throat. "I don't."

"Are you really sure?"

"I'm sure."

“How sure?”

You breathed out, masking the slip of your misdirected emotions again. “I’m just having a bad day and I keep on lashing out to people, that’s all.”

“So what you said wasn’t directed to me?” Not directed to anything in this world. You nodded.

"If that's the case then I need your word that you'll stop thinking of dropping my subject."

"I–"

"Hm?"

You heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry, I really don't mean to say I don't want to see you but I'm still very reluctant to push through this subject."

"Regarding the assignment I told you on the balcony that night, did you do it?" You nodded. You immediately did after he asked you to but when the next dream came it totally slipped out of your mind. "You have it with you right now?"

"Yeah, I remember printing it out and putting it on my bag right after."

"How did you feel writing that piece?"

You clasped your hands a bit. "Honestly, it somehow alleviated the heaviness I felt with that nightmare."

"Let me see it." And so you did. You brought the paper out of your bag and as if nothing happened, he completely immersed himself in the material.

Somehow, his tranquility confused you. If you switched roles and he said something like that to you, you wouldn't even hesitate to drop him then and there. "Aren't you bothered with what I said?"

He completely ignored your question and remained to indulge himself in what he was reading. You sat for a few minutes and just let your developing hobby of studying his detailed features take over you for a while. You wonder if you’re supposed to feel scared or mesmerized at him having the same qualities as that man in your dreams, except being ruthless, that is. The Erwin Smith in front of you is still ahead of everything and he never fails to use it to his advantage. You wonder if you were also able to pick up any characteristics from your other version; that attitude seemed to be on par with Erwin's after all. Looking at yourself right now, it’s as if you’re completely out of his league. Maybe that's why you still don't see yourself getting along with him.

When you realized he's already finished reading, you opened your mouth to repeat the inquiry only to halt again upon seeing a sweet smile on his face. It's a smile of utter satisfaction.

God, I completely forgot what I was trying to say.

He folded the paper with so much importance and then faced you again, still with a smile. "Technically, you just attended one session so you're still not allowed to drop my course. And having me read this, you just made it harder for yourself to convince me otherwise."

It garnered a flush on your face. “I don’t think we talked about the need to convince you after those three sessions, though.”

“Shall I be the one to do the convincing?” He almost chuckled.

"Aren't you bothered with what I said?" Your voice was urging this time.

"I know you have your reasons and one day you'll be ready to talk about it." His gentleness had you gulp down in guilt. This man has unfaltering patience and understanding. What aspect of him fears you aside from the thing that you see in your dreams? "Also, if writing this helped ease the burden you've been feeling, then I'd like you to seriously consider if dropping my class is indeed for the better."

None. Nothing about this man scares you. He’s such a good person. He’s not in any way angry, even. It tugged your heart to ways unknown. Finally, your fear and reluctance of staying with him washed away. Just like that.

“If I were to remain as someone halfhearted with all of this…” You prompted in lament but were finally able to look at him in the eye again. “Would that repulse you?”

If he was taken aback at the question, he didn’t show any sign of it. “Only a fool would demand such a thing from you.”

“What if there’s a life at stake but I’m still as insincere as I am?”

That question would make anyone laugh and you're sure he'd be, too, but he still maintained his composure. He's taking your words seriously. "Doesn't change it. Being upset instead of thinking about how to coax you is lazy. If one would want you to be sincere then you must be convinced nicely to do so."

You looked down again in ponder. What surprised you was the tear that ran down your face after a moment. It's different. Everything's different in here. Somehow, the hope that there's still a chance to separate it from this world had you crying. You didn't huff a sob but rather let it down silently.

You didn't bother looking up as well until Erwin scooted nearer and rested the cold can on your cheek again. "What I'm sure is that no life will be at stake here." He reached for your hand and had you hold it on your face instead. He stood up right after and turned his back. "I forgive you for skipping. You don't need to cry."

You finally were ashamed of your reaction then. Before he could walk away, you tugged gently on the end of his sleeve. "I'm sorry for saying such a thing. I really don’t mean it.”

"If you're really sorry, attend my classes and extra sessions this time." He replied, quite wryly. It seems like he knew well that he won already. The talk about dropping is over. "Also, keep that coffee. You'll be needing it once I pile you up with the activities you didn't do in my course."

Aside from the flustering mess that you were as soon as he left, what he said was true. Writing it helped you a lot in letting it out. You never even thought of doing that until he told you so because it was never a passionate task or a destressing hobby for you. You only looked at it as work that needs to be done.

And so you asked yourself; is it really a good idea to let myself fall into his scheme? You don't see any harm in trying, at least in this relatively peaceful world.

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@temariskadi helped me in changing 9-13 from 1st person POV! thank u so much :D

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