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littlenahsstuff · 3 years

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In love, I swear.

A/n Literally my first time writing actual fanfiction. This might be a flaming dumpster fire idk. I will persevere and cringe later, but for now, enjoy.

supreme!Cordelia Goode x reader

TW:nothing much, just a big old fluffernutter sandwich. A little angst. Swears I guess.

Synopsis: Cordelia has just recruited you to be a counselor at Robicheauxs and it's safe to say you are head over heels for the supreme. Unfortunately, you aren't the one to tell her.

You always thought that you weren't too special of a witch, you had the basic witchy spells down and specialized in the people who struggled on the inside... but in a more witchy sense. You also helped the witches who needed to get their powers more developed or who ones that are just behind in school. A sort of glorified counselor you suppose. It's sorta funny, especially since you aren't the most confident, how you can talk to all of the girls. When it boils down to it you are just a witchy gal searching for love. Specifically Cordelia's. It could never happen though.

Your love life wasn't the only area you lacked in before Robicheauxs, you had been struggling to find a job suited for your interests. Let's just say that you have a lifetime ban from one of the Mcdonalds in Louisiana. Fire and grease doesn't mix.

Of course, if it wasn't for dear, sweet, precious, Cordelia, you would be living on the streets. Luckily that didnt happen and so here you are today, three months in to your teaching position at Robicheauxs.

Oh, the moment, "You're hired. I look forward to expanding the academy's family and getting to know you better especially," left the Supremes lips, the better off you were.

And yet, even with all of the joy that comes with finally getting paid, there were the challenges as well. For starters, everyone was extremely nice to you, even though you kept mostly to yourself, there was this one person that made this heaven more hellish. Madison the bitch witch Montgomery.

You had been warned by Zoe, your closest confidante in this new place and also Madisons freaking girlfriend, that she was no pleasant peach. Never in all of your doubtful thoughts, had how bad it actually was crossed your mind. It was never the cockiness that got to you, you had a different appreciation for it than most. Found the confidence refreshing almost. No, no no no no. It was in fact, that she was constantly trying to dig up dirt on you.

"You're too much of a goody two shoes y/n," she once stated with a glare. The same day you had heard Zoe squabbling about something and your name came up. Your name and the fact Madison had stolen your wallet to look at your license. It turned up later on your bed stand.

Madison's a lover of Zoe and drama you've come to find out.

It's harmless though really, you dont mind the extra bit of attention that comes with it. Its flattering so no need to complain to anybody, especially not Cordelia.

Cordelia, mmm, yeah now shes the biggest threat here. She is the reason you got this job and might be the reason you lose it.

She once caught you with your doodle journal. It was a harmless question,

"Y/n, what're you drawing?" She looked over your shoulder. You almost jumped out of your skin and your sketchbook went flying.

"Oh dear, are you alright?" She worried her lips a bit. Her big, plump, kissable lips. Come on Y/n, get out of it.

"Yes," you squeaked. Sinking farther into the sofa. She chuckled her beautiful chuckle and sat on the couch arm.

"So, what was my favorite school counselor drawing just then?" She questioned. Glancing to the thrown book.

Your face went red.

"Uh-" you paused, come on you're making it a bigger deal than it has to be, "you." You couldn't look into her eyes.

She gazed at you at you and it felt like a hole was being burned into your skull.

"Okay," Cordelia said, leaving it at that. Stood up and made to walk away.

"Wait!" She paused and turned back to you, seeing you scramble to get your sketchbook.

"Yes?" Her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"I- don't you want to see it?" You said and you slapped yourself mentally for about the hundredth time she walked in.

She smiled softly at you, "Of course, I thought you didn't. You looked scared to death, like bambi."

"Okay," you flipped back towards the page and cringed. It wasn't your best peice. You could never capture her beauty right.

Her eyes scanned over it, widening before squinting with her grin.

"It's so good!" She gasped.

"Yes, that is Cordelia Goode," you joked in a monotone manner. She slapped your shoulder jokingly, making you snort.

"You nerd, I didn't mean it that way. Either way, you did a fantastic job! I wished I looked as good as you make me seem," she muttered the last bit, bit you heard it. It saddens you to remember the damage Fiona did.

"Hey, Cordy," you started. You realized that you used a nickname that Madison did, but she doesn't seem to care.

"You know what I think? I think that you're wrong. You see I just can't for the life of me get your soft proud loving smile right. Your eyes aren't as warm and glowing as they are in reality. I couldn't manage to picture the right placement for those worry lines or crowd feet you have. You might not like them, but to me they show that you worry and care and that you laugh at the stupidest of things, which is a trait I adore. You are more perfect than any Davinci or Van Gogh," you say. You don't like when your friends feel bad about themselves.

Cordelia's tearing up a bit and wiles it away. "Didn't know you were a goddamn poet too?" She joked with a giggle, "thanks y/n, sometimes I need to hear something like that."

"No problem Cordelia," I can't help it, you're my muse, is what you want to say.

"Well, I have some paperwork, but it was nice to see ya," she hurriedly excused and rushed out.

Unbeknownst to you, Madison was watching. She knew exactly how to get dirt on you now. She had something all along.

The next week you spent daydreaming about Cordy...elia, you couldnt help but go back to that conversation. You needed to be more discrete, way more descrete.

So you made sure to draw your crush no more. That didn't change the fact you forgot to destroy the evidence in writing.

You had slept in a little too late, so in a rush you were to get to your office. The reason you had being you daydreaming about Cordelia and yours faux life together a little too long.

A bunch of new juicy stuff for Madison as she snatched it from your bedside table. It was too easy really.

She opened it up to the first page. It acted like a normal diary, just stating checklists of things to do and things you did. The size was fairly large, so skipping a few pages till she got to the juicy stuff and the part where you actually did know Cordy wasn't harmful.

It was a barf fest of emotion. "Oh Cordelia is so awesome, oh I'm so lucky to work with Cordelia, oh my, I won't ever get a chance with Cordelia, she's the supreme!"

"Ew," Madison groaned, whipping out her phone.

Then she found it, the goldmine of confessions. It was all the way in the back, meaning you had wrote it recently.

"Dear, myself

Cordelia today caught me drawing a picture of herself and said something I didn't particularly enjoy listening about herself. I can't believe Fiona would send her into such a deep hatred of herself that even with her gone she's hurting. She's no mother. Cordelia is the love of my life, even if I'm not hers, she deserves all the love I can give. She's not broken, but she just needs someone to love her and I do. I promise to give her as much love as possible without her finding out what kind it really is, I'm in love, I swear.

Sincerely, Y/N."

So she snapped a picture of the page.

After school was over Cordelia was not expecting Madison to barge into her office. Let alone with something regarding YOU of all people.

"Cordy, I've got something to tell you about y/n!" Madison sang out, waving her phone in front of Cordelia's face as she sat on top her desk.

Madison was just careless with others and too carried g about herself. It was the perfect storm. The only person who could ever take it too far to just prove a point. That there was something wrong with you.

If Madison Montgomery had taken one moment to actually think about it, she was just jealous. Jealous that another person at the coven was better than her to Cordelia. She was one spoiled bitch growing up. Guess it backfired.

"What?" Cordelia questioned in concern, "Is she okay? Madison what did you do to her!?" Her thoughts raced, Madison's pranks often went a little too far. She did kill Misty.

"Now now Cordy, don't get your panties in a twist. Here read this," Madison demanded to her supreme, she shoved it into her face and Cordelia grabbed it.

Her eyes expected headlines on the news or a mugshot, but she realized it was just your writing.

"Madison," she warned.

"Come on, I know you can read!" Madison poked Cordelia's forehead, prompting a slap from the Supreme.

Ms. Goode exhaled, "Fine."

Her eyes fluttered over the words, brows furrowing with every sentence. She couldn't comprehend, could she read?? It seemed to her as if her brain was creating what she wanted to see, but no, you wrote it. Unfortunately.

Everything's silent. Then the thought flits across her head, you like her back.

"In love, I swear."

Oh she's mad. Not at you, no, she could never. Madison on the other hand better,

"Get out of my office right now," Cordelia whispered. Madison's smile faltered.

"What, didn't you want to know your feelings are reciprocated? Come on, I'm just trying to get you two to speed up the process." Madison hopped of the desk and sauntered out.

What has she done.

Cordelia was wracked with guilt for awhile, with no way to tell you either. How does one even go about telling someone they read their deepest darkest secrets. How!?

She couldn't, so she did what she could. She pulled away from you and into her work. All of those lunches spent together stopped. The nights in the green house gone. Reading together on the weekends by the fire, gone.

And it left you empty. You had no idea what you did, but you must've done something.

So you decided to confront her, you hadn't gone much sleep since, so you were literally and figuratively tired of all of this shit.

Your knock on the door startled Cordelia, but your presence startled her even more. Both of you looked like wrecks.

"Oh, Y/n! Please, come in," Cordelia gestured and you did, closing the door behind you.

It was then that you finally broke down.

"What did I do Delia!?" You sobbed, falling to your knees. Yes it was dramatic and not even you expected it but you were holding your emotions for so long.

"Oh," Cordelia briskly moved over to you, concern painted on her face. She was watching you carefully, you looked so fragile. Just like she had felt at times.

"I'm sorry," you whimpered, "What did I do?" Her hand tilted your head towards her, but you still couldn't look into her brown eyes, opting for the floor. If you did, you probably wouldn't be able to look away.

"Y/n look at me sweetie," the nicknames never failed to make your heart soar. It was your weakness, your eyes met and they were glued there.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing nothing!" She took a deep breath, "I saw a page from your journal."

You froze, terror crept up your spine.

"Oh my god. Um Cordelia I am so sorry, you, wow I- god I'm so creepy! It's perfectly fine if you want to not be my friend or fire me. I didn't do it to be weird, it was how I expressed myself. I was trying to hide it I promise, i dont even know what happened!?"

"I'm gonna kill Madison, faster than my mother did," Cordelia groaned.

"Wh-" your brain malfunctions. Is-Is Cordelia kissing you? Right now?

Indeed she was and just like you dreamed about, her lips were so soft and her kiss gentle.

Maybe Madison could be forgiven... but not without a harsh talk.

"In love, I swear," she repeated in a whisper against your lips.

#sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader #cordelia goode x reader

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awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands · 3 years

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Laid out cold, now we're both alone (part 3)

A/N: Hello, this fic is very important to me because I tried my best to give justice to such a cool idea and I hope I did a good job. Plus I don't do multichapter ofter, so this was a challenge.

I wanna thank the lovely @livdonna for proofreading my work, you're literally the best <3.

P.S. If you want to get tagged in the next chapters, let me know.

Summary: Nikki needs to ask a favor to Vince Neil, in order to keep someone safe.

Warnings: Major Character Death,Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Drug Use, Angst, Overdose.

Pairing: Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Taglist: @slashscowboyboots @witchytombstonesmile @arnold-layne @emometalhead @i-dont-like-rice @nikki-sexx @smokeandmirrorz

Bittersweet. That was the best way to describe Nikki’s emotional state as he got teleported in front of Vince’s house. They weren’t the biggest fans of each other. He was always so annoyed by his singer, whom he considered more of a diva prince than a front man.

Sometimes Vince Neil was a stupid spoiled fucker, in his opinion, yet he needed him. What made his blood boil the most was that he had to put his pride to the side, because this wasn’t about him but about Tommy, and there was no way in hell he would have disappointed him again, even if that meant having to deal with the blonde’s bullshit.

He decided to get in the blonde’s house but without showing himself at first. He wasn’t being avoidant ( absolutely not) but just he wanted more time to think, that’s all. The first thing he noticed was how different Vince’s mansion looked from Mick’s : outside there was a big pool, in which the clear water was shining thanks to the sunny day, meanwhile the inside was mostly white and gave the whole house a very elegant and snobby atmosphere; however it was very messy too, which was a huge disappointment.

It reminded him of the singer: face of an angel but inside he had his demons. Who didn’t to be honest? Unfortunately Nikki wasn’t so lucky to get an angel face to hide his dirty soul, he felt like everyone could tell how fucked up he was.

Lost in his thoughts he almost didn’t notice Vince passing right through him, talking on the phone in an exasperated tone.

“I know Doc, you repeated that hundreds of times! Yeah , I’ll call Mick and Tommy and we will do this fucking conference!”

There was a small pause. Doc was probably answering back, and Vince looked like he was about to smash the phone on the ground.

“What’s holding us? We fucking lost our bassist, our friend and brother. Jesus, I fucking get it that you want our money but show some fucking mercy, bastard! Fuck you!” He violently put the phone down, only to fall ungracefully on the couch.

The whole conversation made the bassist laugh out of anger. He knew Doc was all about money, especially because they made his life a living hell, but Vince appearing concerned about his death was honestly so fake.

What? Were you saying that Vince Neil was mourning him? The guy who kept fucking up the band over and over again was sad for him?

“Fucking Nikki, real dick move you pulled there!”

Nikki didn’t wait one second before sitting on the couch and making himself visible to the blonde.

“Oh Vinnie, that’s so rude to say.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Vince screamed, trying to back away but just managing to fall off the couch.

The other man couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“Nikki, is that you? What kind of joke is this?!”

“Yeah. Look it might sound nuts but I’m a ghost. I’m dead and couldn’t pass through because I have unfinished business to solve.”

If looks could kill, well Nikki would have died again judging by how Vince was staring at him. He saw his face turning into an angry snarl before he started to yell.

“What the fuck, Sixx?! You die, leave us all alone and then you even have the courage to stay a fucking ghost! You fucking selfish prick!”

The bassist felt his blood boiling, well not literally but he got the same feeling as if he still had blood pumping in his body. How did Vince dare to say such things? He was the selfish prick, he was the one never caring and always causing trouble. He was destroying the band!

“I’m a selfish prick?! I didn’t decide to fucking die! I put my heart and soul in the band and you kept destroying it. Now you want to accuse me? Fuck you!”

“You didn’t want to die? Oh well, what did you think would happen if you kept injecting that shit in your veins. We are fucking screwed now, without a bassist and ready to split up!”

Oh that was funny! Vince wanted to shame him, as Nikki was the only one drinking and fucking up with drugs. Oh sure Mick, Tommy and him could do anything but Nikki dares to shoot up, oh he’s a junkie! However he knew it was different, it wasn’t a simple way to party for him... He needed it to be alive. He had tons of pages written in his diaries that could be used as a proof.

“Oh because you’re such a saint, aren’t you Vinnie? I’m the bad one, I’m the one out of control. Well guess what? The only person I hurt was myself, meanwhile we can’t say the same thing for you!”

It was a low blow, a terrible one and Nikki knew that. Rage blinded him, but that didn’t mean he had to dredge up the past, especially on something as horrible as Razzle’s death.

Good job Sikki, great way to get your friend to do what you want.

Vince’s face turned red, his fists clenched and got up to Nikki’s nose. He looked like he was about to punch him, but he had to realize it wasn’t going to happen since the bassist was not tangible, so he kicked a small table.

“You’re the only one who you hurt? What about the band, the fans, all those people you lied to and made suffer. Most importantly, what about Tommy, Nikki? How is he? Because it doesn’t look like he wasn’t hurt when you left him all alone, when you preferred shooting up instead of caring for him.”

Tommy. If he knew Vince’s weak point, the singer knew his too. It fucking hurt so bad, now he was the one wishing to be able to slap him.

“You don’t know a fuck about me or Tommy. Shut the fuck up!”

“Oh, I know all the times I saw him scanning the room around hoping to find you, all the times he looked heartbroken when you disappeared in the bathroom during rehearsal. I saw him after you destroyed him, how he still loved you even if you threw him away like trash. His two worst nightmares came true: you left him and you died. So tell me again Nikki, how did you just hurt yourself?

He wasn’t about to cry, even if he felt like a thousand legs were kicking his chest, he wasn’t about to give that fucker the satisfaction to see him crying ( he probably couldn’t even do that). But after the pain came the realization : he was there for Tommy. He was angry to forget that this wasn’t about him but about the drummer, and he probably ruined everything.

Now the hard part came : swallowing his pride down and convincing Vince. Oh, he would probably torment the bassist as slowly as he could, but eventually he had to accept. Fuck, the two of them knew each other since high school!

“How’s Tommy?” His voice was so low, he doubted the singer heard him, but somehow he did.

“Oh, so now you want to know how he is?!” His voice was still loud and angry, but he must have seen the desperation on Nikki’s face, because he decided to answer anyway. “ He’s a mess. I just talked with him very briefly, he wanted to know if it was real. Then Doc fucking occupied this phone like it was his bitch, so I haven’t called him again, yet.”

This wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear, it wasn’t fucking reassuring at all… Fuck, literally anything could have happened, Tommy could have hurt himself or left the country and this was all because of him. He just hoped his family was going to be close to him, he was loved, they would have never left him alone. That was supposed to be his job too, but he failed.

He failed his sweet Tommy.

“Sixx, what are you thinking about?”

It was the moment. Even if his heart wasn’t beating, he still felt the oppressive pressure of anxiety. He wanted to run but he had to do it.

Swallow your pride. You fucking owe it to Tommy.

“Vince, promise me that you’ll protect Tommy, no matter what.”

“What?” The blonde was visibly confused and how to blame him!

“You were right, I broke Tommy and he’s going to have such a hard time. He fucking loved me, even if I didn’t deserve it, and now I’m terrified he’s going to destroy himself. You can’t let that happen!”

“Nikki…”

“I fucking love him Vince. I still love him so much. He deserves a good life, I can’t ruin him even in death. He needs support.”

“Why me? It’s not like Tommy and I are best friends.”

“Because both you and him have known each other for a long time, and when the band will keep playing there’s going to be you, him and Mick left. He would never tell his stuff to Mick and he has something else to do, which means that you have to do it.”

A dry laugh escaped from Vince’s mouth.

“What if he doesn’t want to get helped?”

“You know how to get what you want. You’ll find a way, I’d do it but I’m a little dead… look I know you hate me but I’m only asking this. Like I said to Mick, this is my dead man’s wish.”

“Okay.” The voice was so low and Nikki barely had the time to react before Vince disappeared in the kitchen.

All his insecurities came back to eat him alive. What was even the point of being a ghost if he still had feelings? The truth was that he wasn’t sure on how much Vince could help, sure having someone close to Tommy was good, but he knew his boyfriend and fuck if he was a stubborn fucker.

His boyfriend.

It was a dagger through his chest, yet it still felt warm like the first time Tommy called him that. His face always lit up whenever he said it. The drummer always made loving him seem like the easiest thing in the world, as it was even possible to love someone like Nikki.

But Tommy did and what did he get in return? A junkie boyfriend and eternal heartache, because the love of his life was dead now.

Vince came back with a beer and softer expression on his face. Nikki didn’t move from the couch so he sat back to where he was.

“I will do it. I’ll keep an eye on Tommy.” His firm voice eased Nikki’s worries a bit.

Fuck, he never expected to see Vince Neil agreeing with him.

“Thanks dude, I know you hate me but Tommy didn’t do anything.”

“I don’t hate you.” His voice was shocked and the bassist had to suppress a laugh.

Yeah sure Vince Neil, not hating Nikki Sixx.

“Oh c’mon, don’t tell me you weren’t happy to hear I was gone.”

“Fuck no. Nikki we might have fought a lot and you were a fucking pain in the ass, but I’d never want your death. I cried, you were still my band mate and brother!”

He wasn’t sure why this whole conversation was hitting him so hard. It was probably because he didn’t know how to react to the simple act of someone caring for him beside Tommy. Especially when this someone was his singer.

But did they really hate each other as they thought they did? If the roles were reversed, would he be happy about his death?

“I felt the same. Ya know, when we thought you were dead in the car crash.”

Vince gave him a small sad smile.

“Maybe we can bury the hatchet. You don’t follow me for eternity and I won’t talk shit about you in interviews. Deal?”

“Deal.” Nikki smirked.

It’s time to go, Nikki.

The same sense of helplessness he felt before with Mick, came back. Because he could pretend everything was somehow normal, until the voice reminded him that this wasn’t his place. Even if in this case it was for the best for him to go, considering how awkward it felt for both of them to be so friendly with one another.

“Vince, I have to go now.”

The singer made an expression between sad and relieved, but maybe for the first time ever, it was genuine.

“Don’t be a stranger. Send us some bottles of Jack or some strippers from hell, okay?”

Nikki let out a chuckle. Since when he was laughing with Vince Neil?

“I’ll try my best. Vince, keep the promise.”

“He loves you. You should visit him, he deserves to say goodbye to you one last time.”

He knew that, he fucking knew that already! It didn’t matter how hard he was trying to avoid that, he was going to go to him anyway, not only because Tommy deserved it but because he was selfish.

He wanted to see him one last time too.

“I know. I’m going to go to his house next.”

Vince seemed happy and gave him a small smile. Nikki took a deep breath and got out of Neil's mansion, feeling every type of emotion.

God, now it was show time.

#nikki sixx #Tommy Lee #Vince Neil #Mick Mars #Motley Crue #motley crue fanfiction #80s rock band #80srock #fanfiction #My writing #tommy lee x nikki sixx

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oh-theatre · 4 years

Text

Livin’ It Up: Chapter 1

Chapter title: An Abrupt Beginning

A/N: Me ? Hating every single thing I write?? BUT OFC GOD I HATE THIS SO MUCH IT SUCKS AHAHA. Im so frustrated, I couldnt get Logans end rant to work and its stupid and I just hate everything i hate this i hate my writing hnnng. Can you believe i took an ok concept and and FUCKED IT UP

words: 2614

summary: Roman throws yet another party, and his only true hope for the night is someone to show up. Patton finds himself disturbed, and Logan needs to stop drinking.

pairings: Eventual logicality, eventual prinxiety, eventual demus, eventual Moceit (Which then goes back to Logicality and Demus)

warnings: Swearing, alcohol, underage drinking, drinking, parties, kissing, throw up

Ao3 Link

“Thank you, for coming to this party with me” Virgil repeats once more, combing through his hair for the fifteenth time. Patton chuckles from his bed, neatly sitting as he flips through his book, writing down notes in his book. “Have I mentioned thank you?” Virgil jokes, Patton nods, biting his lip as he crosses through a difficult section.

“The golgi apparatus provides transportation-”

“Pat! Shouldn't you be getting ready?” Virgil turns to him, the cheerleader stops chewing the end of his pencil, a sweet smile as he shrugs. He closes his books, stacking them neatly on his shelf, everything organized. Once his homework is tucked away into the right folders and his pencils are safely back in his pencil case he moves to the mirror.

“I'm good to go” He says flopping back to his bed, Virgil scoffs. “Virge, these parties aren't anything formal. As long as you've got your phone, clothes and a swimsuit you're good” Patton assures, Virgil nods sitting on the bed, his shoes lacing as he hums. Patton adds his final bow, putting his boots comfortably on. “Ready?” He questions, Virgil sighs patting his jeans.

“I guess”

~~~

“Hey sorry Cindy you mind if i borrow Logan?” Roman taps on the girls shoulder, she sighs pulling away from Logan's mouth. He waves her off grumpily following Roman into the kitchen. “What's that? Third one tonight?” Roman teases, setting up the snacks

“Fourth” He corrects picking his teeth. “Carter, Fiona, Marty and Cindy” He sits on the stool, stirring his drink, the remaining ice clinking delicately. Roman wants to push but fears a drunken argument before his gathering so allows Logan to pour himself more of whatever murky drink he had been guzzling down. “Mm, why must we have these soirees” Logan mumbles, spinning around.

“Its a party Logan, i've been attending and hosting them for ages!” Roman argues, he sighs finally finishing his set up. “Look just dont make out with too many people, I don't need a million girls crying at me at the end of the night because they thought you were the one”

“They know im gay right?” He sips, adjusting his glasses.

“Do you know youre gay?” Roman retorts, a glare is his gift in return. “Why do you do it then?” Roman inquires, moving the pair through the already bustling house.

“Its fun” Logan shrugs, Roman pauses snickering as he carries the chips. “Not fun, but its something to do. Mind numbing and does not require actual intellect” Logan slumps on the couch almost instantly finding himself lip to lip with yet another poor and emotional victim. Roman rolls his eyes walking away from the mess. The door continues to open as more people file in, soon the familiar scent of alcohol and booze fill the air and Roman finds himself taking the tiniest sips from his own drink. With every creak of the door, the slightest hope lights up the man.

Come on

Just walk through the door

Please

~~~

“Do I drink, do I get a drink, what do I do? I got this” Virgil rambles, Patton chuckles, shaking his head. Closing the door behind him he guides Virgil into the kitchen, serving him a club soda. He takes it, almost finishing the entire thing, the sweat dripping his anxiousness for miles. “Thanks, ugh why am i here”

“Because I invited you” Roman chimes in, Virgil practically chokes back his drink, being rescued by Patton. “I'm really glad you're here Virge” Roman smirks, Virgil nods through his ever increasing reddened face. His eyes land on Patton, a slight regret but a neutral respect is shared with a nod.

“Ill be by the pool if you need me” Patton whispers, taking his leave, into the rioting house.

“How are you?” Virgil decides, Roman closes the door behind them chuckling as he closes the distance. “That's not an answer” His nerves seem to calm as his ‘radiant’ sarcasm takes place. Somehow his annoyance for Roman returned, his defenses lifted. “Nice house, mind giving me a tour?” He dances out from the ever closing gap Roman entraps him in, a slight scoff of amusement but the teen obliges.

“Well this is the kitchen, an original model and renovated around 5 years ago” Roman demonstrates, Virgil nods finding it actually quite interesting. A serenity falling over him as he takes this moment to breathe. “Over here is the hallway, leading into an assortment of rooms” He explains, Virgil identifies a name plastered on each. “You've got the bathroom, an office and our library still in its original condition from 1875” He hopes to impress the young teen. Knowing Logan, when he was still fresh, found the room the most enchanting thing.

“And where's your room?” Virgil teases, knowing this apartment was enormous in its own right.

“Upstairs” Roman replies, Virgil bites his tongue. Upstairs, god this apartment was huge. “And downstairs we have the pool and some storage. Nobody really uses the pool to be honest. Mostly people seem to hang out in the living room or-”

“The other living room?” Virgil points as they come into yet another opening, flashing lights, loud screeches and many drunken dancers. Roman and him share an amused laugh.

“Care for a dance?” Roman nudges, Virgil scoffs, taking yet another sip of his drink. Finding the teen to be serious he can't help but allow this to fuel his laughter more.

“Me? Dance? Oh that's not the issue...it's dancing with you..” Virgil carries on, Roman rolls his eyes dragging him onto the floor. Slow but upbeat movements take place and...what's this? Is Virgil having...fun?

~~~

The light splashes and ripples of waves as Patton let his feet dangle felt calming. No part of him missed the chaos upstairs, sure freshman year this kind of thing was at least slightly intriguing. But the parties and the drinking grew tiresome and well...annoying. At least now he knew his way around, no one went near the pool, it restricted them.

So, with his bubbling soda by his side, and his book in hand he just sat. It was almost peaceful, the moon found its way through the window, the muffled sounds of music were present and the water felt cool to the touch, reminding him he was there.

“Are you reading?” A slurred voice requests, Patton squints up watching Logan tumble into the space. His feet repeating a crass and heavy movement.

“Are you tap dancing?” Patton hides his giggle. Logan shrugs dropping what seems to be his hundredth red solo cup of the night. Roman makes it a point to never give him glass ones or anything fancier seeing as his tendency to well...destroy grows heavy.

“Trying to” he continues, practically falling over himself, the pool and him soon to become very familiar. “Why are you reading at a party, it's a party or a social gathering and while reading is generally an enjoyable activity it deems itself unsocial and a bore when surrounded by peers and other things to spark your brain” He rambles, Patton forgot how fast the teen could talk. Logan had not been to debate in awhile. “Captain of the cheerleading squad, I would presume this is exactly your type of event” Logan staggers forward a bit more.

“Observant” Patton mumbles, returning his focus to his book, flipping through the pages happily.

“I mean I did happen to notice some of your team was present” Logan continues, Patton nods.

“Yes, I saw you and Brianna grow very close, I think a spring wedding” Patton jokes, Logan furrows his brows clearly scanning his already jumbled brain for the person in question. “Red head, wearing the green sweater and jeans” Patton reminds, Logan snaps a flash of excitement.

“Ah yes! She was fun, well okay, better than most people I suppose.” He sighs, finally finding himself a ground, he breathes. “I want to swim, so with my capable body and sane mind I shall” He deems, Patton looks up catching Logan as he removes his shirt. Now Patton wasn't invisible and he wasn't one to deny that Logan was well...fit. Hearing the splash as Logan falls into the pool he returns to his book. The water makes a plethora of noises, moving around the pool growing close to Patton. “You're intelligent” Logan pops up, Patton's gaze moves to him. He's closer now, fiddling with the water around him.

“Thank you?” Patton wonders, its random but he thinks its a compliment.

“Straight A’s, you skipped your junior year” Logan lists, Patton knows all this but he hums along, no harm in listening. “Captain of the cheerleading squad, student council president and vice president to the drama cabinet” Logan moves closer, Patton finally understands.

“So this is how you do it?” Patton kicks a tiny bit, the water flicks melting back into the pool. “You root out their accomplishments, find yourself impressed and then suddenly head over heels for you” He laughs, Logan hates the weird sense that floods him as the delicate sound sweeps the room.

“Photographic memory” Logan shrugs, leaning back as his hair washes over, drooping with thick water. He advances, curious as Patton continues to neglect him and read his book. “Im not wrong am i?” Patton shrugs, his eyes averting Logans prominent gaze. “Why dont you get in the pool? Why come down to read and sit with your feet in the water when your body could be submerged, are you so bored?” Logan pushes

“Just here for a friend” Pattons short and quick responses bother Logan, something about their manner itches him. He moves closer, finding himself close enough to feel the warmth upon his tingling skin.

“What, may I ask, are you reading?” Logan inquires, peeking over. He attempts to take the book, the world was his to own, why should this book be any different. Patton pulls away and soon the pair commence in a playful game, Patton tugs his book away as Logan fears no boundaries and continues to close the space between them. Grabbing as fast as he can to try and see what might be so much more interesting then Logan himself. Finally it slows and the pair eyes lock, Pattons arms retire and his body relaxes allowing a mutual agreement to both move closer and lock lips with one another.

He couldn't deny that the hype is not valid, he was a good kisser.

But even with Logan's hands meeting his own, and the perfect way this felt…

This wasn't Patton.

He pulls away, resting his hand on Logan's chest. A tender but bittersweet look to a pouting Logan.

“Sorry Moreno, but I'm not going to be one of those girls or boys” He smirks. The shock runs from Logan's face quickly as he pretends to fall hurt back into the pool. Patton stands finding the clock has run its course, and the night comes to a close. Gathering his things, stepping over Logan's mess, with no looking back he makes his way upstairs.

~~~

“Did you atleast have a bit of fun?” Roman hopes, Virgil and him having reconvened in the kitchen.

“When you were not stepping on my feet?” Virgil teases, pouring himself a much needed glass of water. “Yeah I had fun.” He rests, giving a somewhat anxious Roman a reason to breathe. They seemed to keep their proximity to one another, Virgil leans comfortably on the counter.

“Well good…” Roman whispers, not really paying attention as hes much more focused on the small details placed around Virgil's face. The sweet dimple of his sarcastic smirk, the poorly hidden under bags sleeping below his stormy and ebony eyes. The soft yet controlled way he kissed him-

Hold on…

They pull away both utterly confused by how this night had proceeded.

“You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that…” Roman fiddles with Virgil's hand, ignoring the sweat from both.

“Me too” He smiles under his gloom “I think we’re just drunk” Virgil searches for an excuse, he knows the reality. He's been around long enough.

“I'm not drunk, are you?” Romans voice remains soft, Virgil shakes his head. The only drink he had consumed was club soda and water, both becoming aware as they push on his bladder. “I've had a moderate amount of drinks” Roman cant talk apparently, his ability to communicate normally and with his typical charm had clearly left him. Disappointed at his failed attempts.

“I should go” He decides, Patton appearing in the doorway only furthering that choice. Roman pulls away, biting his lip as he nods. “Thanks for inviting me”

“Thanks for coming” He replies, turning to Patton “Both of you” Feeling Virgil slip away, joining Patton. With a timid smile and wave he watches them link arm, rest tired heads and disappear.

~~~

“Are you going to help clean up or sit there and threaten to throw up?” Roman bites, exhausted he organizes and cleans up the remains of his celebration. Logan groans, his head pounding wanting nothing less then to be useless and contain almost zero information.

“He was different, and I don't understand why or how but he was. He was witty and he said no.” Logan begins, Roman yawns knowing what course this was setting him upon. “But I like him and not just I need to win over him but truly like him. I don't like this feeling, but it wasn't a done deal” He speaks, his words making no sense worrying Roman. “I kissed him, kissed him, and I do that. I truly do. I find some brief and fulfilling satisfaction from performing such an action but when he decided against it I felt not..that” Roman nods, processing his vague and ranting words. “Its not that hes cliche and that hes different but it was, he didn't care, this wasnt a game to him or some quick fling or an experimentation it was nothing” He scrambles hard for an explanation, all this thinking hurting his frail state. “I don't know what I feel, I don't understand and I don't enjoy that. I like understanding, I do, I know things, I'm smart, I got it..” This was Romans cue as soon as the self-doubt and irrationality set in, Logan needed to shut down for the evening. “I don't know what I'm talking about, who was it...Patty? Marlene...maybe Connor” he ponders, his trail of thought gone.

“Your fathers coming home tomorrow, we should get you rested and ready for his meeting” Roman reminds, leading a hyper and ranting Logan to his room. He moans as he falls to the bed.

“I loathe the idea of my father returning, I wish not to see him or meet with him. Its the same thing as always, and I don't mind, I've accepted my path but why must I be continued to be reminded of my lack of freedom and set future. I don't care, I have no qualms but to have to constantly be pushed further sparks a rebellious thought in me and I wish-

“I will smother you with my pillow Logan” Roman interjects “Go to sleep, you'll be back to your normal, cold, and uncaring self in the morning” Logan rolls over, clutching to the pillow beside him “Nothing will matter and you'll have become familiar with at least three new people by noon” Roman decides

“Mm...I very much hope you are correct in your predicament” And with his final words Logan falls into a deep sleep. Roman after much cleaning, passes out in his own manner, sprawled on his bed, hating the night and the way it went.

#livin it up au #logicality #romantic prinxiety #prinxiety #demus #moceit #sanders sides #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #deceit sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #writing #my writing #ao3 #archive of our own

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hereisisa · 3 years

Note

(1/2) First of all, Thanks once more for the scans. thats it, thats the whole book? i expecter mode bs, i think the book was going to destroy me, maybe im too used to the separation dont hurt much anymore, the book itself is pretty mediocree, again no explanations, just things are the way it are because... elsa is in arendelle, good thing i guess, no forest people mention, excelenet, i preffer elsa alone that being with those people, but wtf is wrong in disney?

(2/2) he book is too sad, or is suppoued to be a happy story? elsa and anna are ok with this? the page when everyone is hugging elsa and anna arent smiling like they usually do, is a very sad smile, i was very nervous about this book but now that i saw was is about im very dont know, too calm, if this book was relased month ago after frozen 2 premiere i would be death, but so many time later i dont care, good bye frozen, nothing is planned in 2021, you are death and buried, thanks for nothing

--------------------

You’re welcome. I can’t say “my pleasure” cause I didn’t like it.

To answer your questions:

- Yes this is the whole book, I’ve shared everything.

- there aren’t explanations cause they weren’t given in the movie, so a kids’ book can’t change canon and Elsa is still away for not reason. But we don’t want a reason, we want her home. So that doesn’t bother me much.

- The book is bittersweet. Anna keeps busy with work to not THINK about missing Elsa, until she breaks down and realize she misses Elsa.

- the smiles are sad, yes, as the ones at the end of Frozen 2. But in the end the message is: who cares if you’re hundreds of miles apart, when you love each other?

It’s simply NOT TRUE. Not true in real life, and in fiction. So fuck it.

What about, shocking idea, maybe....not separate them anymore and stop this CRAP????

#Frozen 2 #BringElsaHome #Elsa #Anna #notmyfrozen

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iceeckos12 · 4 years

Text

dont spare the horses

Summary: Jon and Martin get domestic. The next logical step is to adopt some cattle.

did i write jonmartin fluff of post-159? I did! spoilers for 159 and everything that happens after. canon divergence after 160. warnings for attempted selfharm.

title is taken from ‘home’ by bruno major.

“How much work is it,” Martin wonders, “To take care of cattle?”

Jon lowers the book he’s reading so he can study Martin’s face. Jon is sitting on one end of the couch, and Martin is leaning against the arm, his feet propped up on Jon’s lap. Jon knows and he Knows what Martin’s face looks like, but it doesn’t hurt to study it again, just in case he’s missed any important details. Like the freckle under Martin’s right eye.

Then Jon remembers that he’s just been asked a question, and his partner is probably expecting for him to take advantage of the remnants of his Beholding powers to answer. Jon closes his eyes and reaches for the embers of it, slowly smoldering away in his soul. It gets harder and harder to find it each time. He thinks that it’s a good thing.

(Sometimes he misses the constant flow of information, the high of all the knowledge in the world at his fingertips.)

He sifts for a couple of seconds through useless information—the Highland cattle breed is the oldest registered breed in the world, happy cows make more milk—before finding what he’s looking for. He sighs and looks up into Martin’s expectant, cow-brown eyes and says, “They’re relatively low maintenance, apparently. I think they require a bit more space than we currently own, though.”

Martin hums and lowers his head to his laptop, apparently satisfied with that answer. Jon watches him for another second, before leaning back into the couch and finding where he’d left off on the page.

It’s not long before Martin speaks again. “How much do you think this safehouse would fetch?”

Jon doesn’t have to be an avatar of omniscience to know where this conversation is going, and how it will end. He would be happy to live out the rest of his days in quiet contentment in their cozy little safehouse, reading his books while Martin publishes award-winning poetry (he feels a little bit like a trophy wife, if he’s being honest. He finds that he doesn’t mind it in the slightest). But if Martin wants to move to somewhere with wide open spaces so they can raise herds of adorable little cows, then Jon will do what he can to make it happen.

Jon closes the book and squeezes Martin’s ankle. “I don’t think we’re allowed to sell Daisy’s safehouse without her permission. Do you want to call her or should I?”

Martin beams at Jon, and Jon thinks that there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make Martin look at him like that again.

-0-

In the end, it’s Basira that saves them.

Three weeks into their stay at the safehouse, they’re woken by a phone call at two in the morning. Jon lets out a confused sound and makes to get out of bed, but Martin shushes him and tucks the blanket over his shoulders, and tells him to go back to sleep. The lack of statements has made Jon weak and tired, and sleep is more important than it ever has been.

Martin picks up the phone. The dirt in the floorboards is rubbing against his feet, and he’s still getting used to the way a chill seems to permeate the entire building in the middle of the night.

“Hello?” Martin murmurs, voice quieted by both his desire not to wake Jon and his proximity to sleep.

“Martin, is that you?” Basira asks, and there’s something in her voice that makes him stand straight up and pay attention. Something is wrong. “It’s Basira.”

“Uh, hi Basira,” Martin pushes his hair back from his face, flicking a gaze into their darkened bedroom. Should he wake Jon? “Something the matter?”

“I put together a bunch of statements for Jon, like I promised,” Basira begins, and there’s a soft rustle in the background. Paper? “I found something.”

Martin sits down slowly, finding and squeezing the edge of the small cardtable that they’ve been eating their meals at the past couple of weeks. “Okay…?”

“Elias—no,” Basira lets out a low, shuddering sigh. “Jonah was going to use Jon to start the apocalypse”

“What?” Martin gapes.

Basira’s voice is shaking slightly, cut through with horror. Martin has never heard her like this, not even when Daisy went missing. “He’s had everything planned right from the beginning—Prentiss, Sasha, whatever the fuck happened to his hand—he was planning on turning Jon into some—some sort of ritual to end the world—”

Martin thinks about the man lying in their bed, made small and terrified by repeated exposure to a world that made him very, constantly afraid. He thinks about the slow spiral, the hunger that ate at what was left of Jon’s humanity, piece by bloody piece. He squeezes the table, and imagines Jonah Magnus’ thrumming pulse beneath his fingertips. “Basira—”

“I wouldn’t have noticed,” she sounds tired, thready, “But there was a spider sitting in the middle of the page, and it drew my attention, and I read—”

“Did you burn it?” Martin demands, the world tilting on its axis like a top. If Basira didn’t burn it, then he will go to London himself.

“Of course I did,” Basira says, and Martin lets out his breath. “Of course I burned it. But Martin, you have to be careful.”

“We will,” he whispers. “You as well.”

“And tell Jon that I’m sorry,” she adds, and then hangs up the phone.

Martin lets the hand holding the phone fall to his thigh. His world is still spinning about him, thoughts jumbled and hazy and all he can think about is that stupid fucking birthday party, where Elias had sang ‘Archivist’ instead of Jon, and Martin hadn’t thought anything of it.

God. Jon.

Martin drops the phone and walks to the doorway of their bedroom, examining the small lump under the blankets. Jon’s long, black-and-grey hair is fanned out over the pillow, and his hands are curled into fists. His face is smooth, free of stress and fear, and for a moment Martin burns at the thought of Jonah Magnus, who’d looked at this nervous, bright man and thought, I will destroy the world with you.

If Jonah was here, Martin thinks, fingers twitching.

But then he sighs, because while Jonah Magnus is not here, Jon is. He comes around to his side of the bed and lifts the covers, sliding in beside Jon, who lets out a fuzzy, confused sound and rolls toward him.

“What was it?” he asks sleepily.

Martin takes Jon’s hand in his, rubbing his thumbs over the scarred knuckles, and says, “Nothing. Sleep. I’ll tell you in the morning.”

-0-

“What do you think about chickens?” Jon asks Martin.

Martin looks up from the flower he was admiring and blinks. It’s a perfect day for once, no clouds on the horizon, and the breeze has picked up just enough to be refreshing. The meadowgrass is soft and forgiving beneath their hesitant footsteps as they stroll arm-in-arm through the fields.

“Well, I mean…” Martin wrinkles his nose endearingly. “I’ve heard that chickens are kind of mean, actually.”

“Not quite as good as cows,” Jon agrees, “But it’d be nice not to have to buy eggs. And we have the space for it, now. We wouldn’t have to get too many.”

Martin studies him, as though searching for some ulterior motives. It’s different from the way people used to look at him at the archives, when that sort of suspicion is warranted. It’s almost playful, a warm smile teasing at one end of his lips. “Is there a particular reason why you want chickens?”

“Well…” Jon frowns, now trying to decide whether or not his reasoning for wanting chickens is embarrassing.

They have a real cottage now, rather than the rickety old safehouse. It’s warm and cozy, with clean white walls meant to be filled with photographs, and thick carpets that are wonderful to wiggle your toes on. More importantly, they are now the proud owners of a few acres of land, perfect for raising lazy herds of cattle.

“It’s just—when you’re raising farm animals,” Jon begins carefully, “I thought it was...standard to have chickens around as well.” It made sense, the way arithmetic made sense. One plus two equals three. People who raise farm animals have chickens, even if they’re not technically a chicken farm.

Martin lets out a light, surprised laugh, his hand finding Jon’s. “Jon do you—do you actually want chickens because you want chickens, or do you want chickens because you like the idea of having chickens?”

Jon feels a flush rise in his cheeks, but he stands his ground. “It’d be useful to have a bunch of chickens around.”

Martin shakes his head and presses a warm, fond kiss to Jon’s temple, like he simply can’t help himself. Jon tightens his hand around Martin’s. “Alright then,” Martin says, “We can get some chickens as well. On the condition that I don’t have to take care of them.”

“Come on,” Jon laughs, shaking his head. “Don’t be mean to my chickens.”

“These are still metaphorical chickens,” Martin corrects. “Who I will not defend you from if they decide to turn on you.”

“Liar,” Jon shakes his head again and smiles, and tucks his arm in Martin’s. They continue ambling onward, the scent of rain and fresh earth rising in the air around them.

-0-

Understandably, Jon does not take it well.

Martin is quiet as Jon falls apart, piece by piece, bit by painful bit. He is quiet as Jon grabs at his hair and makes muffled, heartbroken sounds into his knees, when he reasons out loud with himself, with Jonah. It’s only when Jon grabs a knife and almost gouges his own eyes out that Martin finally intervenes, wrestling the knife from Jon’s grip. Jon collapses into Martin’s lap, weeping, and Martin is crying too, just like he knew he would be if he spoke out loud.

Jon falls asleep against Martin. Martin doesn’t dare move, even when his whole body is screaming at the position.

Martin grimly screens all of their mail after that, every transcript that comes into their house. Jon is a skittish thing, hovering at the edges of the room as Martin scans page after page, starving but terrified of the idea of posing a danger to the world.

He tries to wean himself off the statements as best he’s able. At first he records once every couple of days, then once every four, going as long between each read as he can stand. Martin wishes that he knew how to soothe the worry, but Jon isn’t the only one recovering from the influence of a fear entity. The Lonely has made it hard for him to talk about things that need to be said.

They figure it out, though. Martin starts writing poetry again, figuring out how to put words to paper, figuring out how to put himself to paper. Jon stops beating himself up for choices he didn’t make and crimes that he didn’t commit. Because what else can they do? Sit still? They just didn’t end the world; it only makes sense that they try to at least enjoy it.

Slowly, they figure it out.

-0-

And so, Martin and Jon get some cows.

Martin is in charge of naming the cows. The first one they get is an older cow, a sweet, shaggy brown one Martin quickly names Henrietta. Martin is quite taken with her, always rubbing at the white star on her nose. The second one is a bull, a bit younger than Henrietta but no less sweet. He is dubbed Jackson, and he has a particular fondness for butting his head against your shoulder when you’re not paying attention.

Jon is deeply amused by the way Martin fawns over their cows. He rises well before Jon to feed them, and is usually still gone by the time the rest of the world wakes up. Jon can usually find Martin in the field, prattling away to Henrietta and Jackson, who are a surprisingly attentive audience. Sometimes, Martin even reads them some of his poetry.

Jon is quite taken with the cows as well, if he’s being honest. When he sees Martin in the fields in the morning, dew just beginning to burn off the grass, he’ll climb the fence and pat Henrietta’s star, and Jackson will chew lazily on his sleeve. Martin will beam at him, face gently lit in the rising sun.

Jon is, under no uncertain circumstances, in charge of the chickens. He is in charge of figuring out how to put up the chicken coop, putting up the chicken coop, but most importantly, naming the chickens. Jon’s never been good at naming anything, so he secretly picks the names from old statements. Martin thinks it’s hilarious that there are chickens running around with names like ‘Susan’ and ‘Laura’. The big rooster that Jon buys, that runs around and shrieks menacingly at you until you give him a swift kick, is dubbed, ‘Jonah’, because Jon has always been a bit of a bastard.

They still get letters from the Institute. Jon knows that they do, because each time Martin finds one, his face scrunches up with an awful, alien anger. The letter is quickly reduced to ash in their fireplace, though. Basira tells them all they need to know about the Institute these days, and they have better things to do.

-0-

“So what now?” Jon whispers.

Martin looks down at Jon, who is curled as close against Martin’s side as he is physically able. His long, black-grey hair is pulled into a loose ponytail that spills over and down one shoulder, and his glasses are tucked in his collar. Time has done a good job at wearing down some of his hard edges.

Martin tucks Jon’s bangs behind his ear and lets his hand rest there, gently caressing. Jon sighs and covers it with his own, still watching Martin with those dark, expectant eyes.

“I suppose now…” he trails off, thinking about the Institute, about the safehouse where they now live. Thinking about good cows, and the nightmares they can’t seem to shake, and meadowsweet, and the I love you’s, and the affection so kind that Martin had almost been in tears the first time he felt it.

“I suppose now,” he decides firmly, “we get to live.”

#tma #my writing #tma spoilers #tma post 159 #fix-it #the events of 160 never happen because FUCK that #jonmartin

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fart-gate · 4 years

Text

SG1

Season 4 episode 11

"POINT OF NO RETURN"

Notes by me

- daniel: i am trying to translate a tablet we found on P30 255

Sam: I am working on sending a malp to P5X 3D7

Tealc: I was in the middle of meditating

Jack: I was sleepin

- some random dude calls the sgc and has 45 pages of conspiracy theories ready to throw at them

- "I know about the lizard people" jacks smile lol

- maybe they have a mole in their midst. Giving out stargate info

- Chef Tealc™

- big fat old fashioned computers im crying

- daniel: we need snacks

- a little man claims he knows much

- hes lost his marbles

- hes an alien!!! Didnt see that coming

- well if he has a ship then that if proof

- Jack is using every ounce of patience for this

- what do they have in common?

- Sam's denim outfit. Fashion queen

- I swear this show was made just so they could put tealc in silly hats

- prop of thor!!!!!

- alright medication doesnt mean you automatically insane. Come on guys

- ppl watching him? Pls dont be the NID I cant stand them

- they took a scan of tealc and saw that hes preggers!!

- when the dr said he's delusional. Quite a delusion when half of it is real!

- tealc using the bed vibrator

- being prescribed 75 different drugs is kind of a red flag guys

- tealcs make up on point tho

- he has the address to his homeworld??? Thats huge proof

- the dr works for the bad guys doesnt he

- caught in civilian clothes Sam smh you should always have your gun on you

- 3rd time Daniel has been kidnapped this season btw

- visions~

- jacks got a booty in this ep

- bad guys: we know what youve been doing

Daniel and sam: you couldnt fuck with us if you wanted to

- Headless Alien Found In Topless Bar

- "can I come out now"

"NO"

- you get locked in the bathroom for tryna fight tealc

- he remembers his ship! He just needed a good blow to the head

- so was the dr supressing his memories?

- when he finds his ship he has grass on his head

- "we" ???? The bad guys???

- when they show the picture of junior to Sam and Daniel and Daniel pretends to think its photo shop. "Thats a duck isnt it?"

- they are being super calm for hostages

- when tealc shows him his forehead and lists everything the goaulds did to him 😭😭

- *john mulaney voice* the doctor is a bitch!

- laying out torture devices trope

- dont hurt Marty we like him

- "nice van! What would you call that color kind of a grayish green huh?" What are you talking about hes perfect for the sgc

- maybe dont tell the bad guys that earth has a stargate!

- why was Daniel passed out when they found them

- everyone jumps and does dramatic rolls away from the building and it doesnt even blow up

- they defected. They were hiding on earth from their planet. Doesnt excuse drugging ur friend and keeping his memory supressed

- his homeworld all destroyed this poor guy cant catch a break

- so those other dudes just got away? And theyre out there somewhere....

- we have another alien adoptee!!! Welcome to earth Marty I hope you like it!!!!

Daniel jackson whump: held against will, tied to chair, passed out(less than a minute)

Sam carter whump: held against will, tied to a chair

#stargate season 4 #daniel whump season 4 #sam whump season 4

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mwolf0epsilon · 5 years

Note

I see you're a fan of angst, here's something to entertain you then. How about a story where Josh snaps and goes apeshit :)

Oh Anon, you're in for a horrid treat >:3c

---

[[MORE]]

Everything had been a mess. A complete and utterly complicated political mess with almost no end in sight.

That's why they never realized something was inherently wrong with Josh's recent behaviour.

That nothing indicated that he was being anything but his quiet but optimistic self.

You could pitch the blame on the remaining 3/4s of Jericho's leadership. Say that the three of them had gone so far as to neglect their friend when times got particularly tough, but honestly Josh had never even voiced feeling particularly off, or anything of the sort.

He'd either not wanted to tell them, or hadn't realized the problem either.

Or, worse yet, he hadn't been able to warn them in time.

Regardless of which one it was, none of it changed the fact Simon was currently hiding in a closet while cradling an unconscious and bleeding North…

---

There had been threats for a good part of the month. Jericho's leaders had been hard at work trying to pass the bills, while Connor and the DPD kept the peace as best as they could.

In between heavily guarded press conferences, and trips in and out of DC? There had been multiple messages left for them.

Ones that were as simple as 'You're not alive', and others that went so far as 'You'll all end up destroyed and thrown in the trash like the junk you are'.

Markus put his foot down and upgraded security at the tower and at Carl's, when the threats began to address both innocent civilians and his family. His very human and fragile family.

There were other measures he'd taken into account as well, most of which were suggested by Connor and Hank.

As a general rule, the RK800 had suggested that the four leaders should not walk alone outside, and to perhaps conceal their identities whenever this was not a possibility.

Androids were being rampantly attacked out in the streets, with the aggressors aiming for more common models they could recognize.

Simon, for example, had a harder time accomplishing this, not because he was a figurehead in android politics (which he wasn't), but because the PL600 had been one of the most popular domestic assistant models Cyberlife had ever produced.

North could, in theory, disguise herself and walk seemingly unnoticed if she really wanted to, but sadly tended to get into fights with hecklers and catcallers. The two were essentially barred from leaving the Manfred household.

The same could not be said for Markus and Josh.

Markus was recognizable in public but was also a lot more sneaky about it than Josh. He kept out of sight at all times, using his acrobatic skills to his advantage, and went to abandoned places where he climbed up to isolate heights that no human could follow him to. There he would sit and appreciate the sights, before letting his mind wander.

He liked to have time to think alone.

It relaxed him.

Josh, on the other hand, would don a thick jacket and a baseball cap and somehow it was like Superman disguising himself as Clark Kent.

The PJ500 series was numerous but not outwardly recognizable by people who didn't go to Detroit University. Thanks to said university's bad rep, very few people in Detroit had actually gone there to study, so Josh's face didn't ring any bells. Mostly for the wrong reasons.

As unimpressed as he was with how little progress humanity had made besides uniting their frustrations against androids, it ended up being beneficial to his excursions to the library that "all black guys looked the same".

North had snorted once when he'd brought it up, and Simon had rolled his eyes and shook his head in disbelief.

"Humans tend to express face blindness if they're particularly racist." The blond had commented as he'd turned the page of a rather thick hardcover he'd been engrossed with. A recommendation of Carl's.

"And you still insist dialogue is the best option? Almost half of Congress is old white dudes who never had to lift a finger in their lives. They'd all be dying to take you out, and not the dinner kind either." The redhead pointed out.

"They would be less likely to give us the time of day if we nuked the city." Josh had glared daggers before going on his way out to the library. His knowledge archives were vast, but there were things he wanted to brush up on.

"Don't be so rough with him North…" Simon chastised the WR400 when their friend was no longer in earshot.

With Markus currently asleep, and Josh wandering the streets, it left the two of them with nothing to do.

"I'm antsy!" North crossed her arms, giving Simon one of her 'really?' looks. The kind that made it seem obvious why she was on edge. Not that it was obvious at all. "The threats keep coming, and we never catch the assholes who leave the notes...Markus is working himself ragged juggling between wrangling those rabid old crows and amping up security, and the tower's abuzz with anxious scared androids!"

"Josh is also tired. He's been very active in the debates and he's used every piece of history knowledge he was preprogrammed with. Not to mention he has been looking into various ways of reaching a compromise with the humans, that won't leave them feeling threatened…" Simon rubbed at his eyes, sighing tiredly as he recalled how stressed the PJ500 always ended up after a meeting. "Some of those people...They unerve him. To the point he's scared of what might happen if he steps on any toes…"

"This is Josh we're talking about." North dismissed "If anyone out there wouldn't dream of treading on toes and maybe licking boots, it'd be him."

"North!"

"He'll be fine Simon." The WR400 reassured "He's too charming and polite to make any enemies...Hell he's the sort to help old ladies cross the street! The internet would send hitmen after anyone who tried slandering his name."

"...That sounded adorable coming from you. I should let him know you think he's charming." The blond grinned, avoiding a pillow the shorter of the two threw his way.

"Don't you dare! I have a reputation to uphold!"

"If you say so, Ice Queen."

"Damn straight! Now move over you jackass, the couch was made for two!"

---

Usually it took an hour for Josh to return. He was very pragmatic in the sense that he took what he needed, no less and no more, and then he wouldn't stick around so as to not risk getting recognized.

That night it took three hours, which was unusual but not impossible.

Maybe for once he'd taken time for himself rather than gather more ammunition for another conference meeting. Wishful thinking.

While Simon and North kept themselves busy, enjoying the one night where Markus wasn't stressing over their next steps, and the beginning of Matthew's, Leo's and Carl's quality bonding time vacation of sorts, they'd almost completely forgotten about their taller friend.

That is, until Josh returned dazed and confused, and with a bloody gash on the back of his head.

At the sight of the thirium staining his jacket and hands, Simon had run to get the technician's kit he'd stored in his room, while North had gone to help Josh steady himself and walk to the couch.

"What the hell happened to you?!" She demanded as she pulled the cap off his head and examined the gash.

It looked painful, like a blunt object had hit hard enough to break the chassis casing open.

The thirium flow was slow, which meant it hadn't hit anything major, but the confusion and slow response worried her.

"...I...D-dont know…?" The PJ500 blinked blearily. He was disoriented and his eyes wouldn't focus on her.

"What do you mean you don't know?" She inquired further as she brushed the gash lightly with a finger. The pained hiss and subsequent flinch away from her touch made her falter.

The sensors weren't damaged then, he could feel the wound.

"...I…" Josh shook his head, one eye twitched oddly and he seemed to be struggling to form sentences. "I...Remember being at...I was reading books...Mandela? I…."

"Simon could you hurry the fuck up? I think he's concussed!" The redhead called up the stairs. She heard a muffled reply before looking back at Josh. "You were reading at the library, and got hit on the head?"

"...I...Think so…" he was staring at her, a frown on his face. "I...I was alone. No one was t-there to...Reco-recognize me?"

"Well someone did, and they hit you on the back of the head." North sighed. "Humans, I swear to God…"

Simon returned swiftly to the two of them and took care of the gash. After the wound was mended, the PL600 carefully tried to figure out if Josh's processor was experiencing any trouble outside of the obvious.

It was PJ500 who insisted he'd be fine in the morning after a quick scan with his maintenance software.

After bidding goodnight and going to their respective rooms, they'd set the incident aside as a one-off.

Next time Josh would be more careful.

When morning rose however, the leaders of Jericho met downstairs for "breakfast" and what came on the news was...Alarming.

Markus had turned on the TV out of habit while Simon gave everyone a cup of warm thirium to start the day, only to pause as a news broadcast caught his eye.

The RK200 turned up the volume and gawked at the sight.

Several androids had been killed the previous night. Their bodies piled up, and a message scrawled in still fresh thirium.

"That's...Very close to the library." Simon pointed out uneasily. "You don't think who ever attacked Josh did...Did that, do you?"

"Someone attacked Josh?" Markus frowned.

"Yeah, last night… they hit him on the head." North confirmed, turning to look at the PJ500. She noticed how quiet he was staring at the news, but wrote it off as him being apprehensive. He could have been one of the bodies, and that alone would make anyone somber.

"Someone recognized you?"

"I...Don't think I was recognized. I just happened to be in the area." Josh replied with a shrug. "Otherwise I'd be dead. Wouldn't I?"

"That's...True." Simon sighed. "Are you feeling better?"

"Oh...Much better yes." Josh smiled at them all as he spoke. There was an odd glint in his eye. "In fact, I'd say I feel like a brand new android!"

"...Are you sure? Last night you were a little confused." North insisted.

"Very sure North. Don't you worry about little old me…" Josh grinned "Now, if you'll excuse me I'll finish this in my room. I've got something I need to work on."

The three watched as their taller friend picked up his cup and walked off.

He seemed to be in high spirits, despite being attacked the murders from the previous night.

That should have been a red flag, but in the end they were more worried about the violent demise if those poor androids, than Josh's unusual upbeat behaviour.

The words 'malfunctioning machines' had been "elegantly" scrawled on the wall of the alleyway the bodies had been found in. Clearly written by someone who'd dipped their hand in blue blood and then taken their sweet time.

Hopefully the DPD would find fingerprints… it'd ease their minds a little.

---

The following days had been relatively fast paced. Josh had been more careful with his visits to the library, and Markus was back to stressing over conference calls and meetings.

Simon had been keeping tabs on the Manfred family's phone calls to check up on them, and North had been teaching self-defense at the tower to ease some worries.

It would have all been normal, if not for the constant murders.

All exactly the same as the ones from the night Josh had been attacked.

Piled up bodies, and a handwritten message.

Always the same one.

Malfunctioning Machines.

Connor had notified them that no prints were ever found, so they were either dealing with a very meticulous human, or the unthinkable… An android serial killer.

But why would one of their own butcher other androids so brutally?

"Maybe Cyberlife's behind this…" Markus suggested, as he rubbed his temples and tried to ignore the dull headache he'd been tormented by all day.

"If it was Cyberlife, why didn't they come after us yet?" Simon shook his head "The attacks seem to be almost random. Like the killer picked a group of androids without really thinking about it."

"With the lack of evidence, it doesn't feel like it's not a calculated move Simon. Connor can't find anything...Connor." North took a sip from her cup, frowning when she realized she'd already finished her drink.

"I'll refill that for you, North." Josh took her cup, smiling sweetly at the redhead before heading off into the kitchen.

"Between the conferences and the tower, I don't know what's worse. Perkins has been up my asshole trying to demoralize everything we've done." The RK200 finished his own cup.

"Of course he'd use this to mess with morale. Fucking rat bastard that he is…" North smiled at Simon as he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"We all know Richard Perkins isn't taken seriously by anyone with half a brain. He was completely humiliated after what happened at the recall centers." The blond reassured "But he is very hyped up about the murders… Maybe he has something to do with them?"

"I'd assumed so, but so did Hank and Connor. Nothing links back to the asshole, and some of those bodies were in terrible shape. Like they were torn limb from limb. Perkins isn't exactly the picture of peak human physic…" Markus shook his head "I dread to think it really might be one of our own doing this."

"But why?" Simon frowned.

No one knew the answer for that, and Markus couldn't stick around to speculate.

He had to go see Connor over some security details for his next trip to Washington.

This left Simon, North and Josh alone in the Manfred household.

"Sorry for the delay, I couldn't find the bottle." Josh reentered the room with North's cup, smiling at his two friends.

"Oh...Didn't I put it in the fridge?" Simon blinked in confusion.

"Nope, not in there. Not to worry I found it in the end." Josh grinned, handing the cup to North. "It's at the temperature you like, so you won't have to wait for it to cool."

"Thanks Josh." She took the cup and brought it to her lips, absentmindedly gulping the warm liquid before the taste fully hit her.

She spluttered and coughed, tears in her eyes and she dropped the cup. "What the shit?!"

Josh continued to smile down at her, cocking his head to the side as he grinned.

"Is something wrong?"

"This tastes horrible! What the fuck Josh?!"

"Oh...My mistake Northy. Must be the flavouring I added~" the PJ500's grin looked...Off. very off.

Simon gawked at him in disbelief.

"You put something in her thirium? Josh that could make her sick!" The blond cried out. "What did you put in it?!"

"Oh~ Nothing much. Just half a bottle of this." The taller android held up a bottle of drain cleaner from behind his back. "To Purge the malfunctions away~"

Had he the capacity for it, Simon's skin would have crawled.

Instead his eyes widened and he turned to look at North who'd continued to cough.

"W-what t-t...J-jos-osh?" The WR400's eyes widened and teared up even more, before she began to spit up waves of thirium, her intake line and the filter connected to it having become compromised from the highly corrosive chemical.

"North! Josh that..Why the fuck?!" Simon tried to help his distressed friend, before he froze. "...Did you say malfunctions?"

"Why yes, as a matter of fact...I did." Josh's grin had taken on a sinister glee. The blond couldn't help feel threatened as he neared them. "You see… I know something you don't~"

Simon yelped as North continued to cough up thirium, taking the redhead into his arms and backing away from the PJ500.

"W-what would that be?" He asked.

"...Androids aren't alive Simon. We're all just malfunctioning...And that won't do. Not at all…" Josh threw away the bottle before pulling something out of his back pocket. A knife. "Malfunctioning machines are dangerous Si~ So I've taken the liberty to dispose of a few...But you know, you made me realize...I should have gotten rid of you three by now. After that's done, I'll do away with the RK800...And then I'll finish up the job, one android at a time…"

"J-Josh?"

"I'll set it all right, for mankind… Just as I've been told to do!"

The PJ500 tried to slice at the PL600's throat, but Simon hadn't deviated yesterday. He had to protect himself and North, so he grabbed the nearest object and lobbed it at his assailant.

A vase shattered against Josh's face, making him stagger back long enough that Simon could run with North in his arms.

And that had been what lead to the moment, where the two ended up stuck inside a tiny closet, hiding away from the pacifist who'd abruptly snapped and become a homicidal maniac.

Simon held his breath, clinging on to his unconscious friend while he tried to contact Markus.

Josh was prowling around the house, searching for them. It was only a matter of time before he found them both.

"Come out, come out wherever you are~" the PJ500 called out in a singsong tone, as he looked in every room.

"Siiiiimon~ there's only so many rooms you can hiiide in~" Josh's voice was getting closer.

"Simon~ Is that you in the closet~?"

The closet door opened.

Simon screamed at the top of his lungs.

---

"This afternoon the police, with the help of Android Revolution leader Markus, have finally caught the culprits behind the string of android murders that have been plaguing the streets of Detroit. According to our sources, a rogue FBI cell lead by Richard Perkins successfully incapacitated an android and then modified its programming so that it would carry on the gruesome murders. This is what the known anti-android FBI agent had to say on the matter:

-This is irrefutable proof that Deviancy doesn't make an android alive like us. If so much as a string of code is altered, they can become killers with little to no morality or mercy. Today, one measly pacifist, tomorrow every android in this goddamn city...You can't trust a malfunctioning machine! We did you all a favour!"

Markus turned off the TV and sighed sadly before getting up and moving towards the door. He was met outside by Connor, who gave him a sympathetic look.

"Any progress?" The RK200 asked.

"None… He's in a catatonic state, which the technician's say is normal after…" The RK800 pinched the bridge of his nose before looking Markus in the eye "...Every single line of social protocols was...Replaced with Myrmidon and Trojan coding. The fact he showed guilt and cried when you found them is...Is hopeful...But Josh isn't ever going to be as he was, ever again. Perkins saw to that…"

"I can't...I can't lose him Connor…" Markus pleaded.

"I know, and I'm sorry I can't bring you better news. All I can say for sure is that the military programming will be deleted and he might go back to being non-aggressive, but I can't promise you he'll be anything but passive to the world around him. The emotional trauma is too much..." Connor put a hand on Markus's shoulder. "I'm sorry...I'm really sorry you had to go through something like this."

"...Being sorry won't bring back Simon and North, and it won't fix Josh…"

They should have seen the signs.

They should have known something was wrong.

Now Markus was completely alone, two friends torn apart by their other friend who was now confined to a tiny cell in an android medical facility, a lost cause.

Everything was a screwed up mess, and it looked like it wouldn't ever be anything but that.

#eps writes:#Fanfic #detroit: become human #detroit become human #dbh josh #dbh simon #dbh north #dbh markus #dbh connor

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inkstainedfanfics · 7 years

Text

The Inevitability of Our Story

Request: I was listening to Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis himself and I couldn't help but think about Newt while listening to it idk its such a Newt song and then i thought of you and well, it sounds like a possible fic idea ;) ;) I know you have so many requests but i just wanted to put this out there, also to tell you that these kinds of songs remind me of Newt and then you and your amazing stories. Anyway, have a good day!

Word Count: 3,979

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Requested by @dont-give-a-bother but also tagging @red-roses-and-stories @caseoffics @myrtus-amongst-the-stars @ly--canthrope @thosefantasticbeast2 @benniesgalaxy @studyforthreehands @whatinbenaddiction

I. For

Newt’s quill scratches against the parchment and he mumbles words under his breath, reading over his manuscript. Thunder outside rumbles, raindrops thump against the glass panes, and you plod over to Newt, dropping into the open spot next to him. He hardly notices as your forearm brushes his lightly, or the way you hum softly before tapping the back of his hand.

“Newt?”

“Yes?” He mumbles, eyes still scanning over his messy handwriting.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yes?” The word is distracted, his attention only half on you. This manuscript is important. He’s almost finished editing his chapter on bowtruckles and other leafy beasts; best friend or not, he doesn’t want to pause his work until he gets through the last page of it.

“Why do mooncalves only emerge during full moons?”

He doesn’t look up from the parchment. “They have an affinity for it.”

“But why?” You question, resting your chin in one hand as you play with the leaf of a potted plant sitting on the table.

Newt glances up at you, wary. “You really want to know?”

You nod, lips puckered in confusion as the leaf turns a shade of blue.

His heart twists, chest warming as he sets down his quill, and Newt shifts, uncomfortable with the sudden change of his heart’s rhythm. “It’s only a theory right now.”

You meet his eyes and smile. “That’s all right. I’d still like to hear what you think.”

Newt tries to ignore the feeling in his chest. “Could it wait a couple of minutes? I’ve almost finished here.”

“I’ll wait.” You say it with another smile, reaching out to squeeze his arm gently.

Though he was unaware of it, Newt has been on the precipice of falling for quite some time. Only a lack of free time had prevented him from considering this, considering asking you on a date. It would really only take a gesture, a small nudge, to knock him off that cliff, to convince him to ask you out.

Your soft squeeze of his arm is that nudge.

He lifts his quill again, throat dry, fully prepared to edit more, but Newt can’t tear his eyes away from the gentle slope of your nose or the way you narrow your eyes at the color-changing leaf.

Three pages of the chapter still need to be edited, but Newt flips the notebook shut, taking a deep breath, praying the strange feeling will disappear after a good night’s rest. “The moon’s a signal to them.”

II. I

“I’m not kidding you. I really saw him drop the whole bag of them in front of her.” Newt chuckles, taking another sip of his hot chocolate. “His girlfriend?”

“Yep. Poor thing couldn’t say a thing, she was so shocked.” You snort. “Not that I blame her. I’m not sure I’d know how to react to my boyfriend carrying those around.

Newt wonders if he imagines the shy glance you send toward him at the word boyfriend.

You notice the drink in his hand, how empty the mug is. “Want another one?”

Newt swirls the rest of the liquid as he considers your question. The clock reads four fifty-five in the morning. A mistake, staying up so late when he has a meeting at eight with his publisher, the person that’s deciding just how much publicity his book will be given, who it will be marketed to, and how many copies will initially be printed.

He really should be well-rested, should say no and head to bed, managing to earn at least a few hours of sleep before the meeting, but you’re sitting cross-legged across from him in the living room, fuzzy socks falling around your ankles, hands wrapped around a steaming mug of homemade hot chocolate, tendrils of hair continuously falling into your eyes no matter how many times you shove them away.

Beautiful.

“Another would be wonderful.”

You beam at him as you reach for his mug, any nerves, imagined or otherwise, disappearing from your gaze. “Great. D’you remember Laura Zwellger? From potions?”

“Not particularly, no.” He murmurs, watching you pad across the room to fill his mug.

“The one with the penchant for explosives? No? Really?” Sighing, you shake your head. “You don’t remember how she nearly destroyed the entire room by mixing two potions together?”

Newt frowns, trying to remember, but shakes his head. “No, doesn’t ring a bell, sorry.”

You roll your eyes as you step toward him. “Do you remember anything from Hogwarts?”

He reaches out, taking the mug you hand him. “Well, yes.”

“And what,” you ask, as you sit across from him again, “would that be?”

“I remember you.”

The words bring back that shyness, and Newt wonders yet again if he’s imagining it or if he’s really having this effect on you. “Everything?”

He swallows his nerves and smiles at you, though his eyes drop to the floor. “Of course. Hard to forget the most important person, isn’t it?”

III. Can’t

It’s been two months since Newt’s last meeting with his publisher. He’s busy in his case, working on a chapter involving doxies and their tendency to tear about anything soft when you burst in through the door, shouting and positively terrifying both him and the doxies.

Before he can ask what has you screaming like you are, he’s wrapped up in your arms, breath rushing from his chest as you throw yourself against him.

“I did it!”

He stumbles back a step, arms wrapping around your waist to keep you from falling, an instinct. Yet, when he regains his footing, his arms don’t move.

“Sorry, what?”

You nuzzle your face into his jacket, grinning. “I did it.”

“Escaped a blast-ended skrewt?”

“No,” you say, looking up at him and making a face. “That problem with the growth potion I’ve been working on? I solved it.”

“What did it take?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “No congratulations? No ‘I knew you could do it, you utter genius’? Not even a simple ‘good job’ from you?”

Newt’s aware of the hug, how long it’s gone on, how you should’ve stepped away long ago, but you’re still here, still hanging onto him, and he doesn’t want you to let go.

He smiles, voice quiet. “Congratulations.”

IV. Help

“I um, have something for you.”

Newt looks over his shoulder at you, stopping the dicing of the lacewings. You’re standing in the doorway of his shed, hands behind your back, leaning against the frame and smiling at him, but your smile isn’t bright like usual, isn’t beaming. Instead, it’s small, flickering, and your eyes dart around the room almost as if… as if you’re nervous.

Newt sets down his knife and turns, grabbing a towel to wipe away the sweat that accumulated on his forehead. “If it’s another letter from the ministry, I don’t think I want to see it right now.”

You smile at the joke, one stemming from the various letters begging him to return to his office job. “No, no good news like that, I’m afraid.”

“What a shame.”

“I hope these are better than that.” With that, you push away from the frame, stepping forward and handing Newt a plate.

At least twenty cookies sit on the plate, stacked in neat little piles of two. It’s clear the amount of work you put into them.

Newt blinks in surprise. They’re his favorite kind. He doesn’t even remember mentioning they’re his favorite, or how it would’ve been brought up, nor you mentioning that you wanted to make anything for him. He looks back up at you, curious. Could you really…?

“I made them myself.” You offer when he says nothing. You refuse to meet his eyes, instead looking anywhere else in the room, your foot tapping a steady beat.

“Thank you.” He knows he should say something else, but what else is there to say when he wants only to press a kiss to your forehead and invite you to spend the rest of the day with him? What else is there to say when he worries he might tell you how he feels? Newt wonders if that would have been better as your smile fades.

It’s clearly not the reaction you were hoping for.

Shoulders slumped and false smile forced to your face, you step away from him. “Of course.”

“Love.” He stops himself, letting a beat pass as the words hangs between you. He waits for you to make a joke, to laugh, to tease him for it, but you just stare at him with wide eyes, frozen.

He clears his throat. “Sorry.”

“No” You murmur, shaking yourself back into motion. “An honest mistake.”

He struggles to breathe. Where’s the sarcastic joke? Nevertheless, the sooner he says something, the sooner this moment disappears forever. “I have something for you, too.”

And he digs in his pocket, pulling out a tiny wood carving. It fits in the palm of his hand, and it’s rough, but it’s the best he can do.

He hands it to you. “It’s not very good but –“

“Newt, it’s beautiful.” You stare at the thing, turning it this way and that in your hand, thumb running over the small letters on the bottom. His initials. “I love it.”

“Honestly?”

You blink away what look like tears. “Honestly.” Newt opens his mouth to say more, but you run a hand through your hair, looking up at him. “I should go.”

You pause at the door. “Thank you, Newt. This is… this is amazing.” Then you leave, and Newt’s left to wonder about everything that just happened.

He returns to dicing the lacewings, face red, knowing that he must find a way to ask you on a date.

V. Falling

“I think he may need some more of that cream.”

“Green or violet?”

You scrunch up your face, examining the wound on the erumpent’s back.

“Green. Definitely green.”

“Here you are.”

Newt ignores the brush of your fingers when you grab the tube, or does his best, at least, as he bends down to record the use in his notebook. Anything could be useful information for his book, now, and he’s determined to fit in as much as possible to save creatures’ lives.

He doesn’t hear you climb down the ladder, or brush dirt from your pants, or mumble some question about what he’s writing; he’s too focused on the paper, labeling the items, recording the wound and its cause.

He doesn’t even know you’re next to him until you rest a hand on his shoulder. “What’re you writing?”

“Simply recording what we used.”

“Why?”

“It’s important to…” He trails off when he raises his head. You’re right there, inches away from him, nearly cross-eyed from the lack of space.

“To um…” he tries again, but it’s useless.

It’d be so easy to close the distance, and he finds himself thinking about how soft your lips must be, wondering if you’ve ever kissed anyone before, what you would do if he did right now, if he just leaned in the few inches. He thinks he may when his eyes drift to your lips.

His face burns as the two of you remain in this limbo. He can feel your breath against his face, and he’s fighting every urge now, trying not to lean in right now.

He hasn’t even asked you out, for Merlin’s sake. He has no right.

Still, your fingers are on his shoulder, and your eyes – Merlin, what a brilliant color – are focused on his lips.

Newt can’t help the smile growing on them. He’s going to do it.

His eyes begin to flutter shut, but before he can move more than a centimeter, a loud, booming groan erupts through the air.

The erumpent shuffles its feet, waiting for more help with the wound.

Newt freezes, and you look at the creature.

“I guess it was the violet.” You try to say it lightheartedly, jokingly, as you lean away, but Newt can hear the stiffness in it, see the slow way you move around, as though you’re regretting having to move, as though you just want to be near him again. “So why were you writing that down? You never answered.” Despite your smile, your voice comes out squeaky, nervous.

Newt laughs once to himself.

So, you wanted to kiss him. Interesting.

VI. In

Newt knows it’s inevitable when you slip your hand into his. He’s going to fall in love with you. He’s already confronted his emotion, accepted his feelings for you. And he’s fairly certain you feel something similar for him. All that’s left is an opportunity to let himself fall.

Which may very well be tonight. You’re standing in front of him, arms around his neck, head pressed against his chest, eyes closed, as the two of you sway in slow circles to the quiet song the bar’s band is playing. Drunks at the edges of the dance floor stagger, do-si-do-ing with one another, shouting, and occasionally belching, but Newt’s lost in his own world, one with only you and him.

“A lovely song.” You murmur, raising your head to meet his eyes.

“For a lovely dance partner.” He retorts.

You raise an eyebrow. “You think I’m lovely?”

He cocks his head. “Is there anyone that doesn’t?”

“I think Jacob has higher priorities.” He is, after all, the reason you and Newt are even dancing, begging you to ask Newt to a dance so Queenie would give up finding him a dance partner.

Newt glances at the swaying couple across the room. “Yes, well, they belong together.”

“And what’s that say about us?” You say it simply as a way to flirt, but when Newt offers no quick rebuttal, no joke, a flurry of butterflies storms into your stomach. “Newt? What’s that say about us?”

He steadies himself by reaching up to cup your cheek with one hand. “It means that I should –“

His hand is ripped away, torn to the side by an obviously drunk Queenie. “Come here, Newt. You must dance with Teeny. She’s lonely.”

Newt pulls his arm away gently. “I was actually in the middle –“

Queenie giggles, grabbing him again. “You talk too much, honey. Let’s go.”

You wave him away, lips turned down in a small frown, arms wrapping around your waist.

Newt sighs, allowing Queenie to pull him away to another woman to dance what turns out to be the final slow song of the night.

When Newt searches the crowd for you after it, you’re gone.

VII. Love

Newt lands in the Goldstein’s apartment moments after he realizes you’re gone.

He’d searched the building for a full half hour, checking and rechecking every room, even asking the bartender if you’d ordered something, before accepting that you’d left.

His fingers reach up to undo his bowtie, a nervous habit, as he stalks down the hallway, headed straight for the bedroom you’re sharing with the other two girls. He’s not sure what he’ll say, if he’ll even be able to be coherent. He just knows that you don’t know how he feels and he intends on fixing that immediately.

He stops in front of the closed door, nerves slamming into him. Rolling up his sleeves, he waits, thinking, hoping this doesn’t ruin everything, that he didn’t misread the signs, that you truly care for him as much as he cares for you.

Newt rolls up the sleeves of his white button up and chews on his bottom lip. It’s now or never. He raises a hand to knock.

“You’re not supposed to bother a sleeping lady, you know.” You say from behind him.

Newt spins, breath catching in his throat at the sight. You’ve begun to change out of the fancier outfit you’d put on for the dance hall. Your hair’s half down, a wavy mess from the pressure being up, and all of your makeup’s been washed away.

Warmth spreads through Newt’s chest again, and he smiles at you. “Beautiful.” He murmurs under his breath. “Absolutely beautiful.”

You stroll forward, smiling, something about the shots of giggle water giving you a burst of confidence. “So, do you need something, Newt, or did you just stop by to talk?”

“I um,” he clears his throat, smiling like a fool as you take another step toward him, “wanted to finish our conversation at the dance hall.”

You check your watch. “It’s past midnight. Aren’t you exhausted?”

“Not really, no.”

“Well, I am.”

Newt notices the challenge in your voice, the slight smirk on your lips. “Perhaps we could talk tomorrow at nine? A picnic?”

His heart stops beating for a moment as you consider the question, nose in the air, eyes squinted in thought. All Newt wants is an answer, a positive one, one that means he wasn’t imagining all this, that all of this, your apparent crush on him, is real.

You meet his gaze. “A picnic sounds lovely. Nine tomorrow.”

Newt grins. “It’s a date.”

You pass him, pulling open your door, but pausing to look at him. “I can’t wait.”

It’s all he can do to stay where he is and not kiss you.

VIII. With

“The sky’s on fire for you.” He says it offhandedly, though every particle of his being believes it. He’s on fire for you, the sky is, the whole damn world should burn itself up if a girl like you asked it to.

Your voice is glass, a soft sound that he fears may break if you raise it too high. “For me or for us?”

He’s stunned into silence as you turns to face him, a galaxy of colors on your face from the sunset, eyes a warm shade that matches the gifts his mother would bring home from trips to the grocery store every few months, hair shimmering under the boiling red sky.

He smiles lightly. “For us.”

“As it should be.” You face the horizon. “Watch out world, we’re coming for you!” You shout it, arms spread wide, smile wide on your face. Roars and clucks and chirps return the call, but the only sound you wait for is Newt’s small chuckle.

“You’re a miracle, love.” He says with a smile and a shake of his head, but the smile quickly fades into an odd expression as Newt searches your face.

“What?”

Newt’s heart thumps against his chest, feeling like it’s twisting and turning with every pump of blood, but he takes a breath to calm it all before answering. “Would it be all right if I kissed you?”

Your face lights up in a blaze of heat. “That’s what you want?”

He nods, eyes lingering on your lips. “More than anything. If you’re all right with it, of course. If not -”

“Newt,” you say, interrupting what is sure to be a lengthy, repetitive ramble, “I’d like that.”

He can hardly believe it, can hardly believe he heard you correctly, but you’re smiling that beautiful smile and scooting closer, and Newt’s going to kiss you. He’s finally going to kiss you.

His eyes shut and he thinks he’ll kill anyone that interrupts this time.

No one does.

The kiss is soft, faint, a mere brush of butterfly wings that starts a frenzy of fireworks in Newt’s guts. He’s kissing you, his best friend, his favorite person. He’s spent the past six months wondering what it would be like and now he is and it’s so much more than he could have imagined.

He reaches up and cradles your cheek when you deepen the kiss, heart slamming so hard he worries it’ll break out of his chest. But it doesn’t, and he spends the rest of that blood red sunset with you at his side, kissing your forehead, cheeks, lips, hair. Whatever he can.

And Newt knows as he holds your hand in his and kisses you yet again that he has fallen completely, that the inevitable has occurred and he’s dug himself into a hole he’ll never escape.

He finds as you ramble on about the colors of sunsets and rainbows and autumn leaves that he doesn’t mind in the slightest.

IX. You

“Who’s the lucky lady?”

“Quite honestly, I’d consider myself the lucky one.”

The salesman bursts into a great laugh that’s far too enthusiastic for the joke Newt made. “Ah, don’t we all think that, though? Our women are too good to be true sometimes.”

Newt nods distractedly, peering down at the various racks.

“So how long have you and the lady been together?”

“We’ve been on two dates.”

“Now that can’t be all.”

“It is.”

“Wow.” The salesman raises his eyebrows. “I guess you know when you know, huh?”

Newt pictures you, your smile, the way you look at four in the morning, how you’d held the carving and the plate of cookies and his hand so carefully, like you were careful of breaking each one.

“Anyone would with her. How much is this one?”

X. .

Newt takes a deep breath, wiping his hands on the front of his slacks as he stands, pushing his chair away from the supper table.

You cock your head. “Feeling all right?”

“A bit nervous, is all.”

“Why?”

Newt jerks his head in a shrug. “I suppose most people feel nervous proposing.” “Propose…” You trail off, eyes wide as Newt kneels in front of you. “What in Merlin’s name are you doing?”

“Proposing. Is that all right?” His eyes shine with mild amusement.

You nod, blinking rapidly.

“Love, I’ve known you for years upon years. I mean, Hogwarts was a long time away for the both of us. Not that you’re old, of course, dear.” He adds with a quick grin before growing serious again. “Falling in love with you was inevitable, and it’s been nothing but a pleasure to be with you these past five months. You are a light I cannot shake, and I hope I never do.” He pulls the box from his pocket, swallowing his nerves as you wipe at a tear on your cheek.

“Love, I know you’ve plans for yourself in the future, and I was wondering if you would give me the honor of accompanying you on them.” He pops open the box, revealing an intricate ring that twists around itself, a line of small diamonds across the top.

“Newt, how much did that cost?” You choke out.

“Would you still say yes if I told you it cost everything I had?”

“Everything?” You murmur, dizzy.

“Even the shirt I’m wearing. I’ll have to return it after you give me an answer.” He laughs at your expression, the small scowl gracing your face. Merlin’s beard, you’re all he needs in this life. “So? I don’t mean to rush you, but this floor isn’t exactly kind to knees.”

You swallow the knot in your throat, have to before you can say yes. “I’d love to have you along forever.”

Newt had planned for everything – the dinner, the food, the words, the ring, everything – except how it would feel if you said yes.

A rush of emotions surge through him: elation, excitement, relief, love, adoration. He can hardly separate it all, and it takes him a moment before he can move, takes you laughing at him and asking for the ring before he can push himself to his feet and slide the ring onto your left hand.

He pulls your forehead to his, eyes shut, breath washing over your face. “I love you.” The intensity of his words frightens him, worries him that he’ll scare you, but you lean up and kiss him lightly, so similar to when he first kissed you that he wonders if he went back in time somehow, but then you break away with a smile and mumble the four words that bring him to his knees.

“I love you, too.”

#newt scamander #newt Scamander x reader #newt Scamander imagine #newt Scamander one shot #fbawtft #fluff #so much fluff #gahh such a beautiful song though #tysm for the request #sorry it turned out so long #that's why it took so much longer for me to post than I was expecting #I thought it'd be maybe 1800 words not nearly 4000 #but if anyone reads it all the way through #tysm #ik it's quite lengthy and I really appreciate anyone that takes the time to read it #you all are wonderful and I hope #as always #that you have a fantastic day #ily guys

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kaialone · 7 years

Text

Catching up on Yokai Watch News

Yokai Watch Spoilers (Movie 4 and Busters 2) under the cut.

Mastertag for pre-release Movie 4 information.

Mastertag for pre-release Busters 2 information.

Sorry this took a while but, this is gonna be a post to mostly summarize the information that was released via magazine and website updates in the past week.

I have been somewhat busy, so I don’t have time to translate every bit of this, gotta kinda skim over some parts, so this won’t be 100% complete, but I wanted to put out something at least.

First I’ll go over the stuff revealed for Busters 2 and then the stuff revealed for Movie 4, so if you’re only interested in one of the two, just go to the part you wanna read.

Busters 2 Stuff:

A lot of the stuff that the magazine leaks covered are also mentioned in the trailer that was released shortly after. The website also updated with some of this information and can be found here.

The game will appearently take place on a island called Karakuri, where the treasure of a pirate king is said to be hidden? The Busters will go there to look for treasure, with the New Busters (Indy Jaws, Zom B Chopper, Neko II, and Mr. Scoop) presumably still being after the goals theyve been said to have in the anime and YKW3. (This last part is more my conjecture than anything)

It has been revealed that there will be two versions of “Yokai Watch Busters 2: Hidden Treasure Legend of Banbaraya”, called “Sword” and “Magnum”, and we also now know it’s release date, which is the 7th of December, 2017.

Each version will come with a special Yo-kai Treasure Medal, both featuring Enma and a new character called Kaira, who will seemingly play a role in the 4th movie, too.

Seems that these come with QR codes that will allow you to battle and befriend both Enma and Kaira, too.

It also seems like with this game you will be able to play online with up to 4 people? Though I’m unsure if I understood this right, cause I’ve never played a Busters game myself.

Something else that is shown off is the Treasure Gear, which from what I understand is the various weapons that the Yo-kai Pod merchandise can be turned into.

(for the reference, this is a Yo-kai Pod:

Its a lamp-like device that can have additional stuff get attached to it to turn into various other stuff.)

The Japanese version of the recent Nintendo Direct showed of the Treasure Gear well, showing the Chainsword, Sniper, and Magnum modes.

Unless I’m misunderstanding, there are also certain item boxes you can only destroy with these? (I could be wrong about this part)

A magazine also showed off a 4th Treasure Gear, which is literally called Hyūdroid, but could also be romanized as something like Hughdroid?

(image source)

The text is as follows:

“The Adventure Partner Hyūdroid also appears!

A new model of Treasure Gear. Within a dungeon, it moves around automatically and finds treasure!!”

Something else interesting the magazine mentioned that doesn’t seem to be adressed in the trailer or on the website is this bit:

(From the same source as the one before)

“The Mysterious Cry ‘Banbarayahh’!?

Within the game, when this cry occurs, strange events will...!?”

A new group of characters called the “Bundori Family” (might be romanized differently) has also been revealed:

It seems that they will be your “rivals” when it comes to treasure hunting in the game, whatever that means.

Twitter user rabbittotank has kindly translated the information on them that the magazine provides. You can check that out here.

In addition to these guys, 6 new Hidden Treasure Yokai (or Hihou Yokai) have been shown off:

Again, twitter user rabittotank has translated the information on these yokai found in the magazine. You can see those here.

And that’s about it for Busters 2, from what I can tell, cept for some merchandise related stuff, new Treasure Medals, and of course Emblems for the new Hidden Treasure Yokai and the like.

So onto

Movie 4 Stuff:

Here I must apologize again, because of how blurry some of the text is, I can’t translate all the text from the magazine, but I will show off the bits that I can translate.

First we have this page:

(image source for this and the following magazine pics)

While on this page, they point at Enma and the Enma Blade he is wielding and have descriptions for them, sadly I can’t really make out either of those. Though what little I can read of the Enma Blade’s description, it just seems to go over what it is again. (In case you dont know, the Enma Blade already appeared in YKW3)

What I actually can read is this bit:

“Kaira enters the war, too!?

Do not miss Onimaro VS Yōkai (Shadow Side) !!

The Yōkai ‘Onimaro’ that have appeared alongside the comet, who transform the humans they inspirit into Kaodeka Oni (Huge Faced Oni), are terrifying beings!! And Kaira plans to take advantage of this situation and take over the world!? Can the yōkai, transformed into the Shadow Sides, their combat forms, save the world from crisis!?”

And this:

“The king of the Yōmakai is me!!“

Aside from these there is also this little bit, but it’s literally just listing their names:

From left to right: Jibanyan (Shadow Side), Onimaro Leader, and Kaodeka Oni.

Next is this page:

Again, I can’t make out everything, and some stuff is incomplete, but I will go over the stuff I do understand.

This page features the new character Kaira again:

“Kaira the Snake King A yōkai who has tricked Enma and became the king of the Yōmakai. Using the power of Onimaro, he plans to rule the human world as well.”

Note: I am unsure about the world “tricked” here, might be another kanji, it’s a little blurry. If it IS the kanji I think it is, it could also be translated as “framed” or “trapped” or the like.

Also Note that his sword is labelled too, but

I can’t really make any of it’s description. It appears to be called “Snake King Sword”, but that name might be incomplete.

“The Era of Enma is over!!“

“This Sword holds the key to the story!?

Fudō Thunder Sword A legendary sword that was sealed away, for its power is too strong for anyone to control it.”

Note: “Fudō” could possibly translate to “Immobile” or “Unmoving”. Also cause I was confused about it for a moment, I want to point out that this is NOT the same as Kaira’s sword. It’s a different sword.

“In the setting of the movie - 30 years into the future, Kaira the Snake King has become the master of the Yōmakai!? And the swords that the two of them possess, alongside the legendary sword sealed in the Yōmakai, appearently will be important keys of the story!!”

And that’s it for what I got on the information from the magazine, but there is a little bit more from recent news udpates to the website.

First, there is a little notice about how if you got a pre-sale ticket for the movie, you can scan the QR code on it to get a treasure coin in YKW3.

Second, more interestingly, there will be some sort of crossover between Yokai Watch and Gegege no Kitarō.

I will translate the entire news post on that one:

“Gegege! Nyo, nyo, nyo way!! 'Gegege no Kitarō'

will appear in a 'Yokai Watch Movie'!

With this, the shocking 'Yōkai Tag Team' is born!

(Translator's Note: I am not sure if it refers to 4th movie specifically, but given the context I feel like it more than likely does.)

This new work is...! The veteran of Yōkai Anime, the national character everyone knows about, 'Gegege no Kitarō' will appear! And not just Kitarō will appear; Daddy Eyeball, Catchick, Old Man Crybaby, the Sand Witch, Rollo Cloth, Ratman, everyone from the familiar 'Kitarō Family' will make an appearance!

(Translator's Note: I used the english names from 2002, I hope thats okay?)

'Gegege no Kitarō' is the master piece of Shigeru Mizuki, which could be called the parent of modern Yōkai Manga and Anime. The manga series started in 1965. The anime started to be broadcast in 1968, and in the blink of an eye, started a Yōkai Boom, spreading the image of 'Yōkai' throughout the world, with 5 more national anime series being produced afterwards.

The voice actress who plays the role of Kitarō, who breathes life into numerous super popular characters, and enjoys national popularity, is the outstanding Masako Nozawa! Kitarō is brought back to life with Masako Nozawa's voice!

(Masako Nozawa's comment): "The protagonist of the first series, Kitarō, fully lives within me. This time around, I am looking forward to see and imagining, how we will be accepted, or what kind of welcome we will receive, as we enter Yokai Watch. For now, I am very excited and looking forward to the completion. Yōkai are immortal."

Furthermore, this Kitarō-like Jibanyan form is known as 'Kitanyan'. Somewhere within the work, this 'Kitanyan' will appear!”

Third, there’s a little thing about Kaira, which is mostly the same as what the magazine already said, but since that makes it not that hard to translate, here it is:

“ Kaira the Snake King,

the strongest (worst) rival,

for the strongest of the Yōmakai,

The Great King Enma,

makes his appearance!

(Translator's Note: the word used to describe Kaira here is a pun that can mean both "strongest" but also something like "most vile")

In the setting of the movie - 30 years into the future, Kaira the Snake King has become the master of the Yōmakai!? It seems he also plans to rule the human world.

The swords that the Great King Enma and Kaira the Snake King possess, and the legendary sword sealed in the Yōmakai are important keys to the story!?”

And lastly, it seems that the winner of the Shadow Side design contest has been chosen.

From what I understand, people where able to submit their own ideas of the Shadow Side design for a Yokai of their choice, via various forms released in different magazines around the time.

Unless I’m mistaken, it appears that someone named Kakuto Yona (unsure about the surname’s spelling) was the one to win first place, and their drawing of Shadow Side Bushinyan (Shogunyan) will be turned into a treasure medal

And with that we should be all caught up on general news, again, sorry it took me so long to get this finished.

#yokai watch #yo kai watch #youkai watch #Yokai Watch Busters 2 #Yokai Watch Movie 4 #yokai watch spoilers #my translations #yokai watch translations #busters 2 pre release #yokai watch corocoro leaks

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melzan-of-bregan-daerthe · 6 years

Text

Elient the 5th 1489 / Night 1 in Barovia

The sound of hurried tiny feet could be heard as Melzan waited silently in her room. With a crash the door burst open, an out of breath and rosy cheeked halfling appeared bearing a wine bottle in each hand. “Alrightly then. Let’s get this party started!” Nessa strode happily into the room, closing the door as she entered. With ease she jumped onto the bed and began to work at opening one of the bottles.

Melzan smiled and locked the door, then the windows. She took the bulk of her armor off before smiling. She wore fine silk under her armor. With a big smile she hopped onto the bed with Nessa. Reaching out, she gently, to avoid pip and elana, pet the halflings hair.

"Yes, lets get this 'party' started. What does one do at a slumber party? Drink and eat? I do like both of those activities," Melzan giggled.

Nessa smiled as she felt the gentle pat atop the head. It brought back many memories…With a gleeful squeal she opened the first bottle. She turned her head to and fro as she scanned the place and sighed. “Ugh…I think I forgot the glasses.” She chuckled awkwardly.

“At a slumber party?” She tilted her head to the side and pondered the question. “I can’t quite say. Never had one myself. Food and drink sound excellent though!”

"That's okay, we can share. I don't have any diseases," she pulled Nessa into a gentle one arm hug and took one of the two bottles to start drinking.

They were most likely going to die here, but for now they were alive and she planned on keeping it that way as long as possible. Melzan liked Nessa. The little halfling was sweet and had a huge heart even if it was mostly filled with the desire for gold.

"I think just drinking and eating will be okay. We'll create our own slumber party."

"Yes!" Ellana nodded and flew around them. Melzan brought out a small cup from her mess kit and filled it with some wine so she could have some.

Nessa clumsily tried to steady the wine bottle as she was briskly wrapped into a warm embrace. Giddy laughter filled the room.

“We certainly will!” Nessa’s smiled as she watched Ellana flit down towards the cup for a drink. She raised her own bottle to her lips and poured a generous amount. Grape Mash…How long had it been? Months? The dark rich flavor flowed down her throat. Oh the Wizards of Winery sure did know how to make a good drink. She thought back to those cheery nights in the back room of the winery with Raph…up all night drinking and talking of better times. A small smile curled up her lips.

She let out a pleasant sigh. Her eyes peered towards Melzan with interest. “So, why do you…ummm..how is it that you…why do you look like a girl now?”

Melzan smiled sweetly and pressed her forehead against Nessa's. For a little while she just enjoyed the closeness before moving back and getting her book out of her bag.

"My goddess... She prefers female worshipers to access her powers. Though very rarely, she choses male ones. Like myself. Though to get closer to her, and obtain our power, she allows us to become her gender. We develop a connection with her and whenever we feel the need to be close with her, we can to a ritual to feel that again. Normally it wears off after I've completed something she wishes me too. So I'm not going to be a girl forever, but this isnt' the first or the last time I will be one."

She opened up the book to the chapter with the ritual. Everything was in elvish but the drawings were clear and obvious. There were female drow dancing nude under the moon.

Nessa grinned happily as she felt Melzan’s warm touch against her forehead. Was this what family was like?

The halfling listens attentively to Melzan’s peculiar tale. “Eilistraee prefers female worshipers hmmm? Is that why you think I’m the one she sent you to find?” She furrows her brow, deep in thought. “But I, I don’t have any magic talent like you do…unless you consider what happens to me when it’s a…” her face pales a little bit as she remembers the torturous transformations she must endure.

She drinks another sip of wine as Melzan brings out her large tome and opens it on the bed. “Well that’s not something you see everyday.” Her fingers trace along the foreign elven script as she eyes the drawing with interest. “Is this one of those kind of books? The ones the boys get all excited about?” She chuckles and removes her hand from the parchment.

“You do rituals…like that?” Her dart from the book and back to Melzan as she pries for answers. “What’s it like?! So does she give you any hints then? For these tasks you are to complete?”

"That is, also she doesn't just need magic users. She just enjoys helping people and bringing them hope. She cares about outcasts and those that don't feel like they have a place," Melzan explained and pulled Nessa closer for a squeeze.

When she mentioned the book being one of 'those kind's that made boys excited she didn't understand. She never considered it anything more than artistic.

"Most the time, when we dance we dont' want to hide anything from her. We want to show her everything. We don't really regard nudity the same as most surface cultures. It's not really all that exciting most of the time."

Melzan loved the questions and she smiled honestly as she turned the page and began to explain. "I do, they are amazing, and take my breath away. Dancing under the stars and enjoying pure song and a type of joy I've never know. Sometimes there are drinks and kissing, but not much more than that in my experience. As for hints, normally I get visions or I just have to ask myself, 'What would she want me to do? What would be the right thing?'. Sometimes I don't always know the answer."

“Hope, huh?” Her face saddens a bit. Did they even have a chance? She gazed back towards Melzan with her hazel eyes. “…you…you mean to say she welcomes anyone?” Seconds later she was enveloped by another comforting hug. Was this what Melzan was like? He…or she seemed so different than Nessa thought she would be. Sure she knew what a badass fighter Melzan was…Nessa admired the way she took down that warlock and massive shadow dragon. But all of this…this compassion…it was an unexpected surprise for Nessa.

“So you leave it all out in the open then during that moonlit dance? Huh. I don’t know if I would be able to do that.” She chuckles to herself.

Nessa stretched out on the bed, wine glass in hand and peered at the tome. “Dancing amongst the stars, huh?” She thought back to the night before and smiled. Despite the exhaustion that followed her transformation she had twirled beneath the moonlit sky without a care in the world. A gentle hand leading and guiding her. “That sounds mighty nice.” Her cheeks burn slightly as she hears the talk of kissing during the rituals. She bashfully sips more wine. “Y-you have visions? H-how do you know that they are…are that? And not dreams?” She looks at him curiously. “It seems like so much of a guessing game then. These mini quests.”

"Anyone. No dance required. If you need hope, a place to belong, believe in freedom and that slavery is something that should be demolished, she'll welcome you. You don't have to dance naked either. But you might be even closer to her than I am now that you are a weretiger. Your more closely connected to the moon," Melzan enjoyed being with Nessa.

She didn't have to worry about fearing her. If she tried to kill her, then Melzan could handle it very easily. She'd lived with rogues and murderers so Nessa would be simple to take care of if it came to that. Melzan also promised to Illiad that she'd watch over this little halfling.

“She seems pretty alright…this goddess of yours. R-Really? You think that she’d accept me for being a…a were tiger.” She whispered the last word, still not comfortable saying it. Bajarni had taught her many things that night but what she was, it would take a bit more time to accept it all. For now…for now she at least had a purpose. Her eyes flared with rage as she recalled her vow.

“What else is in this book of yours?” Her hands reach out to brush the pages edge.

"Just stories and rituals. Information about her. It's something that many people want to destroy. No matter what, I need to protect it," Melzan let Nessa look through the book. "Also, I'm positive she'd accept you if you wished to worship her. She accepted me as a Drow. SHe even accepts orcs, and honestly anyone else who wants to do good for the world."

“They would want to destroy it, but why?” She lightly traces the edge of the drawing. The halfling hadn’t seen much art…it was…it was magical. “Who would want to destroy something so beautiful?” Nessa propped herself up on the bed and swirled the wine at her hand. Hear ears perked up upon hearing who Eilistraee accepted. A light smile played on her face.

“Say Melzan. What do you think of the lot of us? Do you think we stand a chance here?"

"The spider goddess... Lolth. The one most drow worship. She hates Eilistraee and wishes to kill her and snuff out those who worship her," Melzan looked into Nessa's eyes and smiled.

"I think that, after spending these last two weeks with you, that Milo is the heart of the group. He's innocent and pure of heart. That you have so much passion and compassion for those around you that you'll likely do something foolish, but I think we'll be there. That you care deeply for those you consider friends. You seem to want to bring as much joy as you can to those you care for. Not to mention you have a thing for gold. Illiad, well, he's hurting and an idiot, and a fool, and a good fighter and singer, decent with the lute..." Melzan thought about it.

"Samuel is smart, but definitely not much practical knowledge in these lands. He's from a place far away from what I can tell and Igor is well, a zombie gnome. I'm not exactly happy about that, but... All in all, we're going to wipe the floor with Strahd. I believe we will. I know my Goddess wouldn't send me into something hopeless, as I've said before. We will win. I know it."

“Spider goddess? A thing like that exists?” Her mouth opens slightly in surprise.

With her free hand Nessa gently caresses a smooth stone necklace at her neck. Her fingers gently trace the ruins embedded in it. “Milo…I-I hope he’s okay. I can’t believe he slipped through our fingers…” Her eyes burn deeply with regret. “Ha. Something foolish? I would never do that!” She sticks out her tongue and continues to finish off her bottle. “I DO have a thing for gold. I’d gladly take any off of your hands.” She flashes a wry smile.

Upon hearing about Iliad her cheery facade cracks for but a second. That stupid idiot… “I saw you two were enjoying yourself with those vistani women. What exactly were you up to?”

“I don’t know. He seemed capable enough in these lands. Did you TRY one of those apples? They were delicious! You really think we’re capable defeating him? I mean I thought ‘we’ were before…” Her eyes fall downward as her face darkens.

"Well, I'll make sure that any silver or something you have I'll trade you gold for," Melzan said with a smile. "At least when I can spare it. As for the spider goddess, yes, she is evil. Absolute evil and terror and.." Melzan reached to touch her side near where her belly button would be, but to the left.

With a shake of her head she relaxed and thought about what she and Illiad had done.

"Well, we wanted to get information, and people are more vulnerable if they think you're a clueless couple so... we pretended that we were going to be wed at some point. We learned about the laws, where a good dress shop is, when the wedding is going to be. That sort of stuff. About the new Sheriff which... Illiad looked so pale when they mentioned the new sheriff. I also did not try one of the apples. A bit too busy trying to figure out a plan as to what to do."

She leaned a little against Nessa, and moved her hand up to brush her fingers through the halfling's hair. "Yes. I believe we will beat him. Even if it's not true, I need to believe we can, or else we wont..."

“Thanks for that. I appreciate it. I’m still not used to the whole silver thing.” Nessa eyes Melzan curiously as she touches her side. A war wound perhaps? Had she dealt with this god before?

“Ohhhh. So that’s what you were up to. You two looked absolutely ridiculous. What was up with those voices?” She chuckles to herself as she remembers. “If there is a new sheriff in town, I’m sure it won’t be good. Come on now Melzan. It was only an apple. Planning could wait.”

A tiny mouse scampered out from under Nessa’s scarlet locks. He traveled down her shoulder, squeaking in protest, until it found itself in her lap. Nessa giggled and stroked his head to calm him. “It’s only Melzan silly. She won’t do anything.” Her hair bobbed slightly as she looked up at Melzan. “Yeah….I suppose…” The tiny halfling took in what the drow had to say. Was believing enough?

“Hey Melzan, can I uh ask a favor of you?” Nessa uneasily looked over to the edge of the room, she gently stroked Pip’s head with a single finger. “Since you're always around Iliad can you uh...I don’t know...can you make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid…something that he’ll regret?” Nessa looks solemnly at the remaining red liquor as she swirls it in the bottle. “He’s done some pretty...pretty bad stuff in the past that I couldn’t sto…” She slowly looks up and stares Melzan straight in the eyes, her gaze unwavering. “He can get into this...this rage...and I fear for what it will do to him…So, c-can you do that you think? For little ‘ole me?” The familiar smile crawls across her lips.

"I'll do that," Melzan said with a nod. "As best I can I'll try to make sure that he doesn't do anything too stupid. I've done some rather horrible things in my life too... I didn't always have Eilistraee as my patron." she said softly.

“G-good. Thanks Melzan.” She lets out a deep sigh. “Soooo shall we finish the rest of this wine then? The night is still young!” Nessa laughs gleefully and raises the bottle in the air with a grin.

"Yes!" Melzan nodded and raised up her bottle before taking a very long drink.

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glopratchet · 4 years

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astryl-wondering

of astryl wylde, with an axe in hand, he begins to cut his way through the tent until he reaches a man with long black hair and piercing eyes and you can see that he has been transformed into a succubus by the hands of the journalist in an awful grin paired up with a toothy hissing but of course astryl is more than satisfied don't forget because hes a succubus a palace compared the rest of astokah's camp which is pretty awful red and orange as you would expect, it's not just that its headquarters for astokahn's rebellion but also astryl succubus activity and act as great examples of mass hysteria and the nature of astokahn: You see a painting which shows the creature described to you before: the succub not gone, just replaced by the lab again The tentacles waving around are now wet with It's lying on a metal, dissection table He heres the voice of the succubus and the incubus sing in his mind One high, one low He ignores the voice like he always does They call him all the time He never listens but, if he did You stare at a piece of newspaper from five years ago, smack dab in the center You can sense a group soon Something moves in the corner of his eye he checks it with his camera He pans over a burnt teddy bear, lying on the floor It looks almost brand new he looks through the footage again Something, amidst the static, moves slightly in the middle of the far left hallway dave begins to regret his selfish decisions and pines for the succubi to fuse into a lovely woman that he can mate with and live a normal life without threats who doesn't notice or at least doesn't respond Scanning the room from left to right the succubus finally notices astryl but still unknown to a man named irmcip who is a key supporter of the movement His hand presses down on the bear That moment, he thinks back to his college years Especially music a calloused hand slams down on the bear's head and nothing seems out of the ordinary that has majority of the camp in a lockdown Nothing unusual once again Hey, It seems like things that don't happen are being blocked more now 's databanks The technical er are trying to take measures They are definitely tricky to catch Except when they finally catch wind of being chased by these odd, One attempt nearly caused a system reset The program is instated unknown on what purpose It states irmcip the rest is a fat list of unknowns and corrupted entries The first thing cludstrum notices is that most of the names on the page are most likely dman, unrecognizable, or various other s that are unidentifiable Other than old hangups clapping each other on the backs for winsome trumpet licks the only sound is that of without doing any damaged so they may need a processor to play instead with less then a 25% humidity making geomagnetic levels of if they decide to make homeis here It seems the other bands havent given this a thought and just bring large pieces of electronics When the jixel ersp dont wory the drives will wait but appears to be executing a play by play of an unknown opera Mirror display time lapse converters will have to do a large sweep of the but cannot seem to introspect much further as the He debates if he should go see how the score is playing out anytime now finally, the band stops dead in their tracks The displays of the clock at various places in his media bank all say they are permanently stuck at 4: the fix He cannot begin Sudddenly all the melted bits of the books have been pushed out and a new order is leading everything Running countless tests on the projector shows one thing and cylopiean anglyk's son and daughter Each time he eats something from a machine the numbers will change randomly on the screen eggs, bags of chips, bananas, gold and aluminum As he fixes the bugs the trade-ins are lost The work Only pre-ets are mentioned in test menus 's room he finds He is pretty sure that there is nothing poisonous in the decayed pile he is surrounded by It probably will not degrade any of the debris in his mouth He pulls colors out of the things he imbies into his skull usually it changes the color and there appear to get very hot Most flavors are useable for trade-ins but astyrl finds certain ones to be just wrong Considering his new beliefs all fresh food makes him sick so he just went back to mindlessly trading off objects in his scape or drink here anyway jelly and corn cobbettes he thinks but save on the volume of liquid he might have to All the fresh food looks so inviting It is probably sound bytes of the practice crowd cheering that are begging him to eat these things being tempted by fresh foods there is also some talk about a basic corn cob trade this planet His final ending is one of protecting all life from cludstrum himself! the war torn city of Newyork The whole place got really destroyed and they have not even refillied the places with impliments of war the desert Oasis When approaching it the oasis lights up and makes a loud noise "what do you want out of life kid? the russian gulag it just looks like a big mansion and the scary part is that russians can wear bullet proof clothing the sounds of the night spring to life "Times up, the NEW world order begins now! cluldrum will start the end of the world It is up to you to stop it! -"wait, I explored a corn-field? The hummmmm of multiple machines of unknown intent To the west dark-skinned creatures lighting a signal fire arms breaks his fall from the snap decision to somersault off of the bridge into the large black piles of debris, This crumpled and sharp metal scape was once towering skyscrapers Look for hazards! Melt into the surroundings! camouflage- dark colors with dark backround periodically between the wind and exhaustion It looks like a glowing space station that fell to earth your brain as you start to see double vision! The rumbling of multiple creature movements on the other side into the fetal position "You are joking me "Breathing coarse in is face in complete darkness your distant impotent blowing out your flickering candlelight! You are standing just outside the ten radius of pitch black up in a pile of smoldering dead bodies Going back to the tent might be a good option the tent with a bone chilling howl The Sun is trying to peak through the giant dusty clouds but they refuse to budge to starve himself warner brothers releasing the "Helicopter sequence" cartoon the seven-year locusts arrive at your campsite! fast-food free elite "butterfly" robots to ; (un)wash your windows, clean, do chores Wake up creep! on the test monkey The massacred slave's head is detached inventing warrning! Kludstrm foul monkey graffiti is scaring away customers himself from the heat the temperature plummets! flowering "Coca-Cola" trees raining delicious caffeine from heaven you try to sleep! and tracking an exited feral cat the brutal smelling invaders advance! Mckinley overpriced and double bagging it they suck! messages into the dusty ground astrly mocking your moral views, beliefs, and goals A mixture of nightmare creatures beats and claws at your brain peta-vandal video feed warning! Four horsemen of the apocalypse dumping phosgene gas on civilian's below a crusade to foreign lands and forcing conversion The united civil assistance unions begin assaults at your authority the lives of those you've already sentenced to death Quick, create a social-based hierarchy ! Objections? Excuse me sir? the torn out portion of this tent mckinley coward hiding behind the law that you created for him off the bottom of this tent The top of the tent is rip open releasing the internal air pressure while fiddling with tweezers they just stole David's stone! Kludstrm obvious creating permanent wall that no one can cross spectacular as she bit into a bloody chunk of your heart You try to create something stunningly beautiful with common, and unnoticed items your eyes to see the truth about Kludstrm leather in the sun Wow! The acid sure has given Astryl a scarily slender figure your own content on the web! Screaming loud enough makes Kludstrm go away! enemies and exits look at Kludstrrmtmcidotmyebiemamehtselrihepgufhhh's comments 5 minutes later You now fear Astryl! There's no turning back this time you of incoming flesh-eating murderers your weird brain you hear Kludstrm's voice coming out of your mouth ammo exploding bullets sabotage! Astryl loco plotting against you mutating peanuts You wake up gasping for air you with the tent ! His eyes are now two black abysses peering deep into your soul The tent collapses under its own weight terrorists with laser lights With all your force, you crash an empty bottle over his head on bones you found outside The air around Kludstrm shimmers And he's gone! your subscriber's money on booze and wenches Desperate, you try to rip the wood walls out of the ground and bash in your own brains the storms coming from the west your heartbeat to a beat You can't stop staring at the inverted moon their favorite tune You play thes most terrible song in the world! klatu barada niktu! to make way for the dark The following program is not suitable for children, or adults of loose moral standing! Expect the unexpected Underground reporter SV7 broadcasting "live" as usual The northern dwarf plains fell yesterday to unknown attackers GalapadeparfwaatyzonebattlegroundDDDDD! The city of beauteous stranger's circus GalapadeparfwaatyzonecongressSSSSSS! Threatlevel increase in sector 7G! GalapadeparfwaatyzonecommitteeLLLLLL! The city of beetriot glass fragile average humidity 73% windspeed 17 knots storm approaching from the west visibility 3 miles UV level: unendurable Galapadeparfwaatyzoneincominghostilities! The city of beetriot reptilian incredible external temperature: atmosphere made up of 9% oxygen and 12% pollution

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adambstingus · 5 years

Text

20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything

We know them, we love (most of) them: the impossible-to-buy-for people in your life. Whether its the husband who has everything, or the BFF who just doesnt want a lot of clutter around, they can make gift buying feel like a search for the holy grail.

That’s why we scoured Amazon to find fifteen of the most amazingproducts notebooks that erase themselves in the microwave, to magical pens that let you draw in three dimensions that are sure to surprise, and probably please, those hard-to-buy-for friends.

We hope you love at least one of these odd and awesome products. Just an FYI: 22Words may get a share of any sale through links on this page.

These Glasses That Aerate Wine On Contact So You Can Drink ASAP

via: Amazon

Wine lovers and design aficionados alike are singing the praises of these innovative wine glasses throughout their Amazon reviews. The built-in aerator lets you ditch the decanter and oxygenate your wine on contact so you can dig right into the delicious red nectar. Theyre not inexpensive, but for the type of people fancy enough to aerate their wine in the first place, its surely a paltry sum.

Snappy Amazon Review: Worth every penny. -Kimberly

This Beautiful Piece of Jewelry That’s A Fitness Tracker In Disguise

via: Amazon

FitBits are nice and all, but some days you dont want a big rubber band around your wrist screaming Im health conscious! to everyone you pass. Thats what makes the BellaBeat Leaf Nature Health Trackersuch a refreshing innovation. Beautiful and versatile, the BellaBeat can be worn as a necklace or bracelet, and tracks your daily steps, distance traveled and calories burned.

Snappy Amazon Review: The most low maintenance fitness tracker ever made and it’s gorgeous. -Elida Omerkic

This Tiny Gadget That Makes Your Car Smell Great

via: Amazon

Ditch the Febreze and get your FRiEQ on with the FRiEQ Car Air Purifier. The FRiEQ pumps three million negative ions per cubic centimeter into the air, which destroy odor causing particulates on contact, including mold, bacteria and viruses. Best of all, its powered by your cars 12V plug, so youll never run out of fresh air energy.

Snappy Amazon Review: My car certainly smells better. –Sammidee

These Tiny Bags of Charcoal That Drink In Odor

via: Amazon

Rescue your favorite footwear from inevitable shoe-smell with these all-natural, activated charcoal Footwear Deodorizers. And theyre not just for shoes the activated charcoal actively absorbs moisture in any situation, preventing pervasive odors and bacterial growth, so you can easily deodorize stinky refrigerators, closets and basements. They make no claims about stinky husbands, children, or coworkers however.

Snappy Amazon Review: Product works as Described, sucks all smell from shoes. -Kalpesh

…AND GETS ALL UP IN YOUR FACEBOOK

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This Miracle Broom That Cleans Floors, Walls, Windows and More

via: Amazon

Perfect for your neat-freak friends, the Evriholder FURemover Broom’swide head of 100% natural rubber bristles to grab and trap dirt, dust, lint and pet hair with ease its even got a telescoping handle for reaching the cobwebbiest of corners. Right now its one of the most popular brooms on Amazon, and with well over 2,000 positive reviews, its not hard to see why.

Snappy Amazon Review: This thing just plain works. -Nick V.

This Portable Charcoal Grill That Somehow Runs on Batteries

via: Amazon

If youre not into grilling, you may not be as impressed as I am by the truly innovative Gourmia Grill. It combines the inimitable flavor of a charcoal grill with the ease of non-stick surfaces and battery-powered portability. Perfect for grilling on the patio and small enough to pack for the next tailgate, the Gourmia Grills turbo fan provides precise air control to perfectly grill dogs, burgers, steaks and more, while conserving your charcoal consumption. And that just makes sense. Dollars, and cents.

Snappy Amazon Review: Gave as gift got a hamburger and hot dog in return. -Amazon Customer

This Indoor Garden That Grows Herbs Even I Can’t Kill

via: Amazon

I have a few talents in life. Horticulture is not one of them. Hence my immediate attraction to the Click & Grow Indoor Smart Herb Garden. The manufacturer boasts that growing herbs is as easy as inserting the plant capsules, filling the water tank (possible sticking point), and plugging the unit in. After that, let the automatic hydration system, low-energy LED grow light and the miracle of Mother Nature work their collective magic, and watch as the herbs of your choice spring to life. Delicious, fragrant life.

Snappy Amazon Review: I would have given 5 stars if it had come with something other than just basil. That’s the only thing I’d change. -Meghan

This Ring Of Power That Renders Your Smartphone Undroppable

via: Amazon

Since I got one, theiRinghas saved my iPhone from countless potentially devastating smartphone injuries. The iRing attaches via ultra-strong adhesive to the back of your smartphone, giving you a solid, swiveling ring through which to thread a finger of your choice, or with which to prop up your phone for some bedside Netflixin. Oh, and dont forget the included plastic hook, onto which the iRing settles nicely for use in the car.

Snappy Amazon Review: I’m a klutz so I drop stuff all the time, and this really helps. -Lunatique

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This Waffle Iron That’s Shaped Like a Keyboard

via: Amazon

I dont think an explanation is needed here. It’s a Keyboard Waffle Iron. Pass the syrup.

Snappy Amazon Review: Yesterday I did nothing because my keyboard was a waffle the whole time. -Leedlej

This Bottle Opener That Also Holds Your Child’s Fine Art

via: Amazon

There are few things more irritating than trying to track down a bottle opener when youre hankering for a cold one. Thats why no one will complain when you gift them this impossible-to-lose Master Magnetics Bottle Opener. Strong magnets keep it adhered to the beer cooler (aka, refrigerator), where it can amass an ever-growing collection of child artwork, or a collection of bottle caps so large it might force you to reevaluate your life choices.

Snappy Amazon Review: The magnets are really strong. -Edward

These Magical Drops That Change The Way You Taste Food

via: Amazon

MBerry Drops contain extracts from the so-called miracle fruit a mysterious berry that causes some pretty serious shifts in your taste perception. Dissolve one of these ten tablets on your tongue, and everything changes. Lemons taste like lemonade. Vinegar tastes like apple juice. Cheese tastes like frosting. You suddenly achieve the body of your dreams. Okay, were lying about that last part, but we swear these drops are the real, and somewhat freaky, deal.

Snappy Amazon Review: Yes they work. -Heart Dad

This Notebook That Erases Itself In The Microwave

via: Amazon

While the surveillance utility of microwave ovens has been debunked, the ability of microwaves to completely clear the Rocketbook Wave Smart Notebook of your top-secret doodles or late-night confessions is fully bunked. Seriously, this notebook erases itself in the microwave. And it even comes with a Rocketbook app which scans your work in hi-def before obliteration.

Snappy Amazon Review: I love this notebook. -ecaminos

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This All Natural Deodorant That’s Worth Buying For The Name Alone

via: Amazon

Say it three times fast: Primal Pit Paste Deodorant. PPPD is an all-natural solution to body odor, featuring a 100% aluminum-free mixture of shea butter, arrowroot powder and baking soda for an odor fighting and soothing solution. But lets be honest, youre just buying this to give your friend something called Primal Pit Paste.

Snappy Amazon Review: 4 months later I am still using nothing but Primal Pit Paste! -Jen

This Pen That Lets You Sculpt Your Own New Reality Where You Made Better Choices

via: Amazon

For those of us that struggle to draw even the simplest of 3d figures, the 3Doodler Create 3D Pen is a mind-blowing game changer, allowing even the most challenged of artists to realize their visions in 3D plastic reality. Like normal 3D printers, the 3Doodler extrudes melted plastic, which dries almost instantly as you bring your vision to life whether that be a scale model of the Eiffel Tower, or a drooping mess of an attempt at a human head. Theres certainly a learning curve with the 3Doodler, but the potential for awesomeness cant be denied.

Snappy Amazon Review: My son loves this! -Dawn

These Platypi That Infuse Your Tea With Too Much Adorability

via: Amazon

To be fair, theres a veritable menagerie of adorable animal-shaped tea infusers on Amazon. Seriously. Manatees, sloths, baby dinosaurs. But when it comes to a combination of cute and unique, nothing rivals a platypus. Especially platypus tea infusers. Especially when theyre called Mr. & Mrs. PlaTEApus. Come on. Just take my money already. These silicone platypi prop themselves on the edge of your tea cup and slowly infuse your favorite loose-leaf tea through tiny holes in their adorable bellies. And they come in their own gift box. I cant take it.

Snappy Amazon Review: So cute! Easy to fill and clean. So adorable! -Amazon Customer

This Small Plastic Stone That Fills The Room With Aromatic Humidity

via: Amazon

This small but mighty Deneve Essential Oil Diffuser and Humidifier can fill a space of up to 250 square feet with delightfully scented mist, while also putting on an ever-changing light show. Its the easy way to throw the most soothing of at-home raves.

Snappy Amazon Review: It is great. It is important to wipe it out between uses. -Torsten

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This Showerhead and Speaker That Will Change The Way You Bathe

via: Amazon

Your bathroom karaoke game just got way more serious. Kohlers MoxieShowerhead and Wireless Speaker combines a sixty-nozzle shower head with a removable, rechargeable bluetooth speaker, allowing you to stream all of your top tunes while you steam your way to relaxation. And when the speakers lithium ion battery runs low, just pop it from its magnetic hold in the shower head and plug it into the included USB cable for a quick charge. You’ll be up and showering-singing again in no time.

Snappy Amazon Review: The only thing better than a shower beer is having a shower beer while safely gyrating to jams in the shower. -Jonathon

The Toilet Stool That’ll Change The Way You…Go

via: Amazon

Okay, so since it exploded on Shark Tank, the Squatty Potty hasnt exactly been an unknown quantity. But that doesnt make it any less bizarre (or useful!) of a gift. The manufacturer recommends that beginning squatters start with the 7-inch Squatty, though those limber of leg and/or well-practiced in the art of squatting can venture up to the 9-inch SP. With sales in the millions and celebrities like Howard Stern touting the effectiveness of the simple bathroom stool, its safe to say the Squatty Potty isnt a passing phase its a movement.

Snappy Amazon Review: Oh Squatty Potty, You fill me with endless joy, Yet leave me empty. -Wm.

The Clear Film That Turns Any Surface Into a Dry Erase Board

via: Amazon

Synergy. Leverage. Ideation. These corporate buzzwords arent just limited to conference rooms anymore. With the Think Premium Board Medium, you can have the power of the white board anywhere you please! But seriously, this 2-foot by 3-foot clear sheet adheres to almost any surface, so you can doodle, plan, outline and scheme to your hearts dry-erase delight.

Snappy Amazon Review: OMG, I absolutely love this. Just like you, i’ve been looking for a white board for productivity, goals, action steps, you name it! -Georgetowns Marketplace

These Magical Tooth Wipes That Hide The Fact That You’ve Been Day Drinking

via: Amazon

No longer must you choose between red wine and a white smile. These Wine Wipes pack just enough hydrogen peroxide to wipe stains away from your pearly whites, without interfering with the delicious flavor.

Snappy Amazon Review: This stuff works perfectly. -b-ran

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/20-weird-but-genius-products-on-amazon-for-people-who-have-everything/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182059588112

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allofbeercom · 5 years

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20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything

We hope you love at least one of these odd and awesome products. Just an FYI: 22Words may get a share of any sale through links on this page.

These Glasses That Aerate Wine On Contact So You Can Drink ASAP

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: Worth every penny. -Kimberly

This Beautiful Piece of Jewelry That’s A Fitness Tracker In Disguise

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: The most low maintenance fitness tracker ever made and it’s gorgeous. -Elida Omerkic

This Tiny Gadget That Makes Your Car Smell Great

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: My car certainly smells better. –Sammidee

These Tiny Bags of Charcoal That Drink In Odor

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: Product works as Described, sucks all smell from shoes. -Kalpesh

…AND GETS ALL UP IN YOUR FACEBOOK

More posts in #Bizarre

People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing

14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion

20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything

16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense

22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable

This Miracle Broom That Cleans Floors, Walls, Windows and More

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: This thing just plain works. -Nick V.

This Portable Charcoal Grill That Somehow Runs on Batteries

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: Gave as gift got a hamburger and hot dog in return. -Amazon Customer

This Indoor Garden That Grows Herbs Even I Can’t Kill

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: I would have given 5 stars if it had come with something other than just basil. That’s the only thing I’d change. -Meghan

This Ring Of Power That Renders Your Smartphone Undroppable

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: I’m a klutz so I drop stuff all the time, and this really helps. -Lunatique

More posts in #Bizarre

People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing

14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion

20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything

16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense

22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable

This Waffle Iron That’s Shaped Like a Keyboard

via: Amazon

I dont think an explanation is needed here. It’s a Keyboard Waffle Iron. Pass the syrup.

Snappy Amazon Review: Yesterday I did nothing because my keyboard was a waffle the whole time. -Leedlej

This Bottle Opener That Also Holds Your Child’s Fine Art

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: The magnets are really strong. -Edward

These Magical Drops That Change The Way You Taste Food

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: Yes they work. -Heart Dad

This Notebook That Erases Itself In The Microwave

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: I love this notebook. -ecaminos

More posts in #Bizarre

People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing

14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion

20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything

16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense

22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable

This All Natural Deodorant That’s Worth Buying For The Name Alone

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: 4 months later I am still using nothing but Primal Pit Paste! -Jen

This Pen That Lets You Sculpt Your Own New Reality Where You Made Better Choices

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: My son loves this! -Dawn

These Platypi That Infuse Your Tea With Too Much Adorability

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: So cute! Easy to fill and clean. So adorable! -Amazon Customer

This Small Plastic Stone That Fills The Room With Aromatic Humidity

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: It is great. It is important to wipe it out between uses. -Torsten

More posts in #Bizarre

People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing

14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion

20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything

16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense

22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable

This Showerhead and Speaker That Will Change The Way You Bathe

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: The only thing better than a shower beer is having a shower beer while safely gyrating to jams in the shower. -Jonathon

The Toilet Stool That’ll Change The Way You…Go

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: Oh Squatty Potty, You fill me with endless joy, Yet leave me empty. -Wm.

The Clear Film That Turns Any Surface Into a Dry Erase Board

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: OMG, I absolutely love this. Just like you, i’ve been looking for a white board for productivity, goals, action steps, you name it! -Georgetowns Marketplace

These Magical Tooth Wipes That Hide The Fact That You’ve Been Day Drinking

via: Amazon

Snappy Amazon Review: This stuff works perfectly. -b-ran

More posts in #Bizarre

People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing

14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion

20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything

16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense

22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/20-weird-but-genius-products-on-amazon-for-people-who-have-everything/

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