#but i'm coherent (sometimes)

[starredwrites]

i'm having thoughts about amatonormativity and why it sucks and they're long-winded and hard to properly express bc it's late at night but i wanted to share them so i summarized them with a meme

this realization brought to you by the realization that a lot of people who say acephobic shit without actively denying asexuality exists just mentally swapped "virgin" for "asexual" and carried on with their lives. this best evidenced by people being "accepting" of asexual women but ignoring/erasing asexual men.

#i'm either galaxy braining hard enough to write a grant proposal for this novel #or i'm wrong and i doubt i'm wrong tbh #sometimes being aroace in a traumatized way makes you like. realize things #ace #aro #acephobia #amatonormativity #arophobia #aphobia #there's. there's equally fucked up assumptions about aromantic ppl #but i am too tired to express them coherently i may do it in the morning in a rb #actually 3rd option. i am explaining it Really Badly

[alevens]

zolu is maybe one of the easiest ships i've ever liked. they're dating, except when they're not, they're best friends even when they're kissing and they're still captain and first mate when they aren't. they hold hands, they hug. they have sex. they don't.

Luffy can hold Zoro's katanas and Zoro can hold Luffy's strawhat and no one bats an eye. one says "You're so cool!" and the other says "You're strong" and it's just another way to say "I see you, this is why I follow you/this is why I trust you". it's not seeing each other for a long time and still knowing how the other's steps sound like against wood and sand. the captain runs and the first mate follows. it's always "Zoro and the others" and "Where's Luffy?"

if they're just friends, if they're something more, if they don't have a label for it, at its core, it's just about how they get each other. they understand how the other's mind works. however you view them, it doesn't erase they fact that they love each other in a way they don't love other people.

#zolu #on why i love zolu #seeing the hate its gotten on its own tag #i figured i'd put it on my two cents #i am aroace and i do hc Luffy as aroace #the same for Zoro if i'm honest #but the thing about this hc is that not only it isn't canon #but is an actual spectrum #what really made me pause was that the argument was that zolu was an “icky” ship bc of how they viewed Luffy as aroace #i would have prefered they just said they hate the ship #it makes sense as i do too hate ships without reason sometimes #but it was how they seemed to view aromatic/asexual people that fucked me up #both orientations are spectrums #the way i see it and experience it isn't the same other people do #giving this label and then saying it only woks on one way is disrespectful to the many people that fall under this umbrella #it isn't as simple as saying “aromantic folks can't experience love” and “yeah ace folks all find sex disgusting” #everyone is different everyone has different views and it's about finding what fits *you* personally! #sorry for the rant on tags i just wanted to get it off my chest #i've seen more people explain it better and break it down more coherently #and i'm so so glad to see so many big brained people ready to communicate on why that take just wasn't it #one piece

[essektheylyss]

This was entirely tangential to this post from @utilitycaster which is why this is its own post, but the tags made me think about what feels most compelling about Liliana to me, and it's really because there's such an interesting approach to redemption in terms of the sunk cost fallacy to be had there.

There have been plenty of comparisons between Liliana and Essek, but I don't think they're really situations that can be compared. Essek had done one horrible thing (that was of relevence to the story; it is implied that he's taken other actions that he feels were wrong, but we don't know what those entail nor do the Nein care enough to ask, so per narrative convention, they do not matter for analysis) and was only still involved in it to the extent that he couldn't take it back, so to survive he had to continue covering his tracks. But he was also incentivized to otherwise act in alignment with the group that was not those on behalf of whom he had made terrible choices, because he was still living in the Dynasty, and as such wasn't actively perpetuating those actions beyond the cover up.

Liliana on the other hand is acting with the Vanguard and has been furthering if not personally committing atrocities on their behalf for a number of years, continuing to the present. Like Essek, she believes her involvement in the cause to be a difficult choice that was made for noble reasons, and now can't see a way out. But she is also relieved to be told to stay, though at the point that they discuss her leaving, she is alone and outside the immediate range of contact or oversight from the Vanguard. It seems reasonable that she could disappear with a decent headstart, and perhaps become untraceable quickly enough to be safe from anyone following. With this context, returning to the Vanguard with the intention of feeding information to the opposition feels like the riskier choice, but crucially it is the devil she knows.

I actually liken this more to Cassandra de Rolo than Essek. Cassandra was manipulated against her brother by the Briarwoods, but this was also spurred by having watched Percy seemingly leave her for dead. There are legitimate reasons why the Briarwoods, as the people who rescued her and then kept her alive for many years, are the easier option in which to place her trust. She knows what she's getting from that vantage point and how to handle it. She doesn't inherently have faith that someone she only knew as a young and helpless child, who ran from the hardships she's faced, would have the strength or willingness to do what she has found necessary for survival.

I think that Liliana's actions are more willful, not least because she was not a child nor in mortal peril when she joined the Vanguard, but she sees herself as having made difficult choices when only faced with difficult options, and I do think they have been difficult. She didn't want to leave her family; she doesn't want to hurt the young Ruidusborn under her care; she is probably genuinely sorry that innocent people were considered a necessary sacrifice for what she sees as the greater good. It is psychologically taxing to feel as though one is always picking between bad options, which is a significant contributing factor for why people buy into a sunk cost for so long. And over time, those hard decisions become easier, because you know what to expect from the outcome. Though Liliana is well aware that she might be killed for a misstep among the Vanguard, she already knows how to act to maintain their favor, but how she might be received on Exandria by those fighting the Vanguard, even with the Hells vouching for her, is anyone's guess.

This is a very real reason why people remain in cults and struggle to push back against this kind of conditioning: because the decision to leave feels more immediately perilous than the decision to stay. (On a certain level making these kinds of choices and actions habitual is a fundamental basis behind a lot of military conditioning.) And if you are acting in the interests of your own survival, but that survival comes at the cost of that of countless others who have not, in fact, made any threat or harm against you to begin with, then is the nature of your survival morally defensible?

This analysis isn't a question of whether Liliana will commit to her role as double agent and turn fully against the Vanguard, or even which one of these is a "better" story; this is about what the story might say if she doesn't. Yes, she might commit to a different path than the one she's on and make an effort to redeem herself, but it is also a perfectly coherent and interesting story if she doesn't.

#sometimes it really feels like people just. pick a character name out of a hat #and then decide that that character must get what the person feels they deserve regardless of the rest of the existing text #instead of like... considering the text for the story that has already been told and what it might still say from that vantage point #cr meta #liliana temult #essek thelyss #cassandra de rolo #critical role #anyway do not know admittedly how coherent this is but I gotta finish up my work day so I'm posting it. yolo

[hajihiko]

Let me just say, I LOVE the way you draw Junko. She's like a mix between a haunted doll and a hollow scarecrow

Thank you shes increasingly fun to draw

Junko, the girl, alive and (physically) well

Junko, the body dead but too much of it remaining inside others to be gone, her ideals living beyond her years and becoming synonymous with her name, turning her into not a girl but an idea, the most unkillable thing

#I'm allowed to be pretentious and wordy Sometimes it jumps out when I got the fuzzyheads #Junko enoshima #I got so many thoughts about ghosts and like. Why they are. Can I make those thoughts coherent? Probs not #But part of it is just like. Once something is only metaphysical it gets twisted like a word in a game of telephone #CW gore #CW blood #cw mild gore

[average-hua-cheng-fan]

on hua cheng's morality and self esteem

on my first read of the book, i was actually convinced that hua cheng was this amoral asshole but that's just what he WANTS you to think. hua cheng actually cares a lot about ghost city (founded to combat the injustice of ghost persecution btw), he just downplays his achievements in front of xie lian because he doesn't want to 'trick' him into liking him. he also sees any accomplishments as a direct result of dianxia's influence so it would be wrong to take credit for them. perhaps hundreds of years of playing the part of the terrible calamity skewed his perception of himself even further.

in his introduction in heaven, they say how he would "Sometimes... carry out a massacre in cold blood, and sometimes he would do odd acts of kindness" (page 157, book 1) which makes me wonder what heaven defines as "cold blood." he visibly dislikes the man who bet his daughter's life and mentions killing several tyrants. in creating e'ming, he nearly destroyed himself in order to save those mortals. on the casino in ghost city, "If I don’t control a place like this, then someone else will. I’d rather that person be me." (page 107, book 2.) he has a very strong sense of justice that he hides under 3 million layers of arrogance.

xie lian gets the ability to tell if he is lying early in the book and sees him for who he really is. they're very similar in that they have this drive to do good in the world but think about it and go about it in very different ways. hua cheng even mentions that it doesn't matter how you go about saving the common people, and that xie lian over-complicates what is right and wrong and should do what he wants... but he wouldn't turn that logic on himself :/

anyway

**this is my reading btw if anybody wants to have a discussion im 100% down

#this started out as a joke about how i sometimes have very coherent analysis about him and sometimes i can only go hrgrhrghrgr #but i have too many thoughts about him. plus i'm working on a characterization reference guide and reread books 1 and 2 yesterday #so my head's full of textual evidence✨ #on your first read of an mxtx book you fall for the parts the characters are playing. on the second read you get knocked out #from how well put together and connected everything is. and on the third read your third eye opens #tgcf #i speak #hua cheng #xie lian #hualian #tgcf meta #meta #tgcf analysis

[gh-0-stcup]

Riley failed because the writers didn't understand the archetype they were trying to convey and their audience.

Riley's the all-American boy next door. His character model was so pervasive in other media because it's wholesome, simple, and nostalgic. Calling back to a nebulous time when people were nice, helpful, and virtuous. (Actually a rose tinted view of a nonexistent past - it calls back to the viewers childhood when everything felt that way.)

The most important thing with this character model is the feelings it evokes in the audience. The character must come across to the audience as

A moral paragon

Safe

The problem is that this type of character also has deep associations with heteronormativity, sexism, and racism. They have been used numerous times in media to help uphold and propogate these ideas.

But BTVS' very premise stands in direct opposition to the American values this character model tends to embody. It's more likely that this archetype will evoke the exact opposite feelings it's supposed to in fans of BTVS. They're more likely to have been victimized in their lives by the messaging imbeded into it.

It could have worked extremely well had the writers considered what would evoke the same feelings with their own audience.

Take one of Riley's early scenes - punching Parker for his comments about freshman girls and toilet seats. It's mentioned after that Riley does not take issue with his friends talking about women in "worse" ways. He reacted the way he did because he's got a crush on Buffy.

Imo, this is the moment the character failed. If you want to sell a character like Riley as a love interest to audience like BTVS', you must ensure the line between chivalry and chauvinism is never crossed. Once it is, that character's virtuousness will forever come across as a facade. A way to have control and possession over women under the guise of protecting their honour.

A minor adjustment to this one scene would help reframe Riley's motivations. He doesn't take kindly to men speaking that way about women, but it is odd for him to react violently.

In this version, he's someone who respects women in general but has more rash reaction than normal because his crush on Buffy is shaking him up. It also suggests he's not a man who's typically quick to violence.

Another important scene is when Riley finds Buffy outside at night and insists on walking her home. She puts up a fight, commenting on the sexism of assuming boys can take care of themselves but girls need to be walked home. Riley's response is that yes, this is absolutely what he believes.

Now, Riley is a trained soldier who knows there's very serious danger lurking around at night and does not know that Buffy is anything other than a tiny civilian. It's understandable that he would insist upon protecting her. The issue is entirely with how the dialogue is framed.

A better answer to Buffy's question would be "You shouldn't have to." Set him up as a man who understands many women can protect themselves, but believes his role is ensuring they never have to.

It shifts these gender roles from "woman weak, man strong" to Riley's sense of honour. Focuses on how he derives meaning from protecting civilians and those he cares about. Helps shed light on the mentality that led him to becoming a soldier and suggests that being a soldier is tied to his sense of identity and personal values.

It also more firmly shifts being a soldier from a day job to a duty for Riley. It gives him a connection with Buffy, who also believes it is her responsibility to use her strength to protect people.

Just two very simple shifts in dialogue and Riley's a much better character. Amazing how they got it so wrong without even understanding what mistakes they made.

#i had a very long and better organized rough copy in my drafts #but part of it got nuked by my phone deciding to update tumblr WHILE I WAS WRITING #and now i'm tipsy and i've been sitting on these thoughts for days so i want other ppl to see it #coherency be damned #i'll probably add to/adjust this tomorrow or sometime this week #riley finn #btvs #btvs s4

[chickenstrangers]

Not Me: It's About Earrings

Earrings in Not Me represent identity and transformation. The scene where Black takes back his earrings is one of my favorite scenes of the show (ignoring the continuity editing errors where Black puts in one earring like 4 times). I made this set a while ago but I still have thoughts about Not Me that I want to write down.

The earrings are a marker of identity, and a way to recognize that identity, not only with White's earrings (or Black's, as the case may be) but Sean's as well.

White's transformation process highlights the earrings. He physically alters his body in multiple ways in order to become like Black. The most permanent alteration is of course the tattoo, but the earrings are also important, especially in their lack of permanency. We see the piercing, the grimace on White's face, the discomfort of having to take on this new identity.

When White is living a double life, going between the gang and dinner with his father, we see him taking out the earrings himself, shedding Black's identity. This time it is voluntary, White can separate these two sides of himself, because he has not fully become someone else yet. It is still an act.

But the earrings are not just about White and Black, they also play an important role in Sean and White's relationship. When Sean tells White about his dad, White reaches out to him, to comfort him, and starts gently playing with Sean's earring. This is the first time, really, that White is seeing Sean, the culmination of the flag scene. Seeing who Sean is, the soft vulnerable core of him that he tries to protect with brashness and animosity. Then there is the tent scene. And at this point it doesn't matter who White is pretending to be, and Sean has started to suspect something has changed. What matters is who White really is.

And right as White has begun to settle into this new identity, one that is not just a copy of the one he stole from Black, when he's realizing how he has himself been transformed by these experiences, Black wakes up and takes everything back.

The tattoo is permanent, it will stay on White's skin forever unless he gets it removed, but then it might still scar or leave something behind. It shows the lengths he went to to become his twin. But while White was pretending, he himself changed significantly, his worldview, his goals, his community. While the tattoos and earrings and contacts are a disguise, they are also a part of the person he has become. The tattoo is something that Black cannot take from White, it is etched in his skin. But he can take the earrings.

White looks so incredibly forlorn during the conversation with Black. Especially once Black takes out the earrings, he seems naked without them. He looks so young, like a kid playing dress up but now the costume is off.

Black's movements are detached, uncaring, calm, but it feels as if he's ripping out the earrings, taking back his identity by force. And of course White does not stop him. Cannot stop him. That was not his identity to start with. He was borrowing it, and so the return was inevitable. Black takes out the earrings and immediately puts them in his own ears.

But the meaning of the earrings has changed. Unlike the tattoo, which is a copy, a recreation, the earrings are material, they are Black's earrings. But they're not just Black's anymore. White is different than he was before, and now, bereft of the earrings, he must grapple with who he is now.

Thanks to @ranchthoughts and our regular discussions on this subject.

#anyway as I'm always saying #not me is about ears #i'm pretty sure i think about this topic a normal amount #not me the series #nmrewatch23 #not me #not me meta #thinking thoughts #tuserrowan #for my hopefully slightly more coherent than normal thoughts on the subject if its of interest #sometimes the gifset is the meta and sometimes i have more to say

[svtskneecaps]

yknow what with the strife building between forever and bad and the ripple effect that might have on the server at large i think now is the perfect time to fridge bad. go touch grass, mr boyhalo, it's time to see people either fall apart or come together without you. bc listen. listen. when the dms are bumpin with 'bad can you ___' every thirty seconds. sometimes you just gotta steal badboyhalo and see what the fuck happens. i just want to know.

and i also want bad to slEEP GODDAMNIT

#qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #he ended stream early for once but i don't believe for a second he left the server #for the love of god freeze dry this man #like i want to see how him being gone affects the server at large #(bc he's such a steady support for egg parents + theory people + dungeon raiders) #(like the french love him the brazilians love him philza knows if he can't take care of the kids bad will) #(fit lets bad watch ramon while ramon and dapper hang out) #(and shit dude bad and dapper are attached at the hip like it was devastating in the days after dapper lost his life bc before that- #-you barely ever saw bad ALONE; they went EVERYWHERE together even to secret order meetings) #bad please get in the freezer and nap for like three days #i'm in a funky mood and i'd LOVE to fuck around and find out #tho i understand completely that the lore is busy with a different angle and i will not find out #((i'm holding out hope to find out sometime but i recognize now will likely not be that time)) #((the worms in my brain are curious and they would feast deeply on the answers)) #shut up vic #block game brainrot #it's 4am btw if this isn't coherent its bc i didn't proofread bc it's 4am lol

[yohankang]

The moment I was born I was not truthful. The first word I uttered was a lie. You could say that my songs were a record of false history.

Koo Kyo Hwan as Jane in Jane (2017)

#i made 12 gifs but i can't make them into a coherent set and i'm pissed so :))) 2 gifs of kkh looking absolutely gorgeous <3 #jane #koo kyo hwan #kmovie #kdramaedit #kdramasource #asiandramasource #janeedit #m*gifs #jane 2016 #i am so obsessed with the first gif that i just have to post it today. maybe i should make it my header #i knowww no one watched this movie. i know. but sometimes you have to make gifs for yourself

[number1villainstan]

Paul could have fallen on his knife at any time.

The books, and the most recent movies, present Paul's descent from 'somewhat innocent son of Atreides' to 'dark Messiah' as something he had no control over, to an extent--the power of the prophecies, of the Bene Gesserit manipulations, of the political forces at work, and of eventually the actions of specifically Jessica were just too powerful and too inescapable. It is presented as a tragedy, with all of the inescapability that entails. There is no choice.

But there is always a choice. There always has to be a choice. These machinations only work if they have the right tool. So what do you do when you want to escape being the figurehead, the spark that lights the fire that is the Jihad? You must take away that spark. Permanently.

But that's the thing, isn't it? The only way out was so drastic Paul would never have taken it. To fall on his knife would be to leave behind his mother and his growing sister and Chani, it would be to betray Stilgar, it would be to end the male line of House Atreides (remember how gender works in this world, remember how women cannot hold power outside of religion) and betray his father, it would be to give in to the Harkonnens.

But to fall on his sword would also be to deprive the machinations of the Bene Gesserit of their Kwisatz Haderach, the corrupted fundamentalist faith of the Fremen their Messiah, the looming Jihad its figurehead and focal point. Perhaps it wouldn't be enough, perhaps the focus would have simply shifted to Jessica or even Alia, gender roles notwithstanding, but it's still a powerful act, a powerful message to send--that one would rather die than act to cause death.

Or perhaps the route the galaxy would go without the Jihad would be worse in the long run. Perhaps the Fremen would stay an oppressed people; but I want to believe that Chani (specifically Chani in the recent movies) is correct, that the Fremen need no outside Messiah and would have freed themselves. That maybe the galaxy wouldn't get better, but it certainly wouldn't have gotten worse.

And isn't that awful? For a non-tragic ending to require such a tragic choice?

#tw suicide #dune #dune series #paul atreides #really only half coherent #i'm not the kind of person to say 'kys' or to think that it's okay to say 'kys' #but like *gestures at the Jihad* i think i'm a little bit justified here #and it's not even a strictly utilitarian thing #like. paul has precognition he KNEW the Jihad was coming and he KNEW he was gonna be at the forefront of it #and when you know your continued existence is going to bring about death and suffering on a literally galactic scale #sometimes you have to ask yourself if suicide is the moral choice #dune meta #ish

[hecckyeah]

Hey! So, I know you probably haven't watched it yet, BUT: when you do, I must know your comprehensive thoughts on the latest Rookie episode!?!

ASK AND YOU WILL RECEIVE!!!

Okay, because I'm insane, I'm going to split this into two sections: not-chenford, and chenford.

SPOILERS FOR 6x02 UNDER THE CUT

First up, everything NOT-chenford-related:

Honestly they could have botched it, but it was SO FUN having Randy back for the wedding. "Sit down, German, I got this." i mean???? iconic. Also having him be literally in Pete's place and WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND? even more iconic. I'm a ride or die Randy fan, so all his scenes just made me unreasonably happy :)

it was understandably short, but I loved having Celina ride with Nyla, finally. It was kind of satisfying to see her get humbled in interrogation, because imo Nolan has been kind of lax with her training, letting her get away with things the other rookies would have been fired for. So it's nice that she'll spend some time away from him and with a *ahem* more experienced TO. hopefully. We'll see.

Ugh, my heart breaks for Aaron this season. Kid's traumatized for REAL. And his comment to Celina about not sharing things with the therapist because he wants to get back on patrol, not necessarily get better. That bothered me. I really hope they dig into that a lot. But I also hope nothing horrible happens because of it. He seemed so unstable, even when he wasn't drunk. I'm also very interested to see where this goes with his and Celina's friendship. Just a lot of good stuff that could be a really thoughtful and interesting story if handled right...

Aaaaand this episode confirms that I intensely dislike Bailey. Everything about her character is just trying too hard, like the writers were so tired of having Nolan date and break up a few times, they were like okay fine this one can stay, and even though they have chemistry readings in the negatives, they keep trying to push it even though it feels so wrong. I'd rather have Nolan be single the rest of the show than be in this stale cardboard relationship. But it's fine, they're not going to split them up now, so I'll have to deal with it lol

The whole thing with Oscar suing was SO rushed. Like, so insanely rushed I couldn't even be annoyed at him. I hope they bring him back and do it for real, because that was weird to kind of shoehorn in there just for dramatic effect.

EPIC COP TEAMUP IN SUITS AND TIES MY BELOVEDDDD. Seriously they all looked SO GOOD chasing down bad guys and beating people up. White dress shirts were truly the MVPs of this episode

Will Celina just. be wearing long sleeves the rest of her life? Seriously how long has she been a rookie already?? Most of Angela's pregnancy and maternity leave, so at least 10 months, if not more. Hell, she should be graduating from the program soon. The timeline in this show is absolute trash.

Speaking of-- Baby Wopez name drop when????? poor girl's been nameless for too long

James coming in clutch with the playlist was chef's kiss. I LOVE that man

ALSO JAMES AND WESLEY'S BROMANCE. "I went with a suit." "Me too. Mine has a tie." "Oh my god, same!" I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO. Probably my favorite bromance of anyone ever.

Finally, just in general-- I know some people were put off by how much stuff was jam-packed into 42 minutes (again. how???) but I think they pulled it off reasonably well. There was actually very good pacing, lots of comedy and angst and everything in between. I personally LOVED this episode and I think it deserves a few rewatches just to pick up on everything they threw at us. It has its flaws, but it will definitely be a 100th episode to remember, that's for sure.

AND NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.

Chenford thoughts :))))))

But first let me just get this out of the way real quick-- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHLSKDJFOAHGOIJWE;LKTH;SKLJD;LFKHAGLJKSDFA;HLGKJLSKJDKFJDKJFKDJFKJDKFJDKFJKD OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHHHA;LKGHSJNBMNMCC HELP KJAEHKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG IM HYPERVENTILATING AHGHGHAHSHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay, anyway.

Here we go!

I'm just a little bit torn on how they decided to approach this. On the one hand, it was nice that they were still able to work together and talk without excessive drama. Although... Tim shutting the door on her did hurt. Yeah. That hurt a lot. But I had really hoped that they would acknowledge that Lucy was in the wrong last episode too. She was being completely unreasonable and like Tim said, she was projecting. But in this ep, it seemed like she was validated and he was the one being unreasonable. While his trauma with Isabel is something they desperately need to talk about (like Lucy said), she was also reacting too harshly to it and being unfair with her accusations. But honestly, it's okay. We still have 8 episodes to sort it out and it seems like they're very much on the right track. I'm hoping they have a really really really intense, tearful, honest, raw, cathartic conversation about the whole thing. Seems like that's the direction they're going, so I won't hold my breath but it is something that needs to happen.

ALL OF THEIR INTERACTIONS were just so. hnnggg. so chewy. so much going on. THE LOOKS DURING THE WEDDING. hang on I'll come back to that in a sec.

The scene with the Hammer was NEXT LEVEL. (Also fun that they named the episode after That Scene, specifically. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........) For some reason I immensely enjoyed watching Tim get thrown around like a rag doll. Not sure what that's about. Never seen that side of myself before.

THE FORESHADOWING. That on-one-knee thing was more than I thought they'd give us, and OMG I ATE IT UP. The little pause, where Lucy's breath kind of catches, and Tim just seems kind of oblivious. THAT'S CINEMA, BABEY.

Kind of insane about Tim just passing out like that. Poor man.

CELINA MENTIONING LUCY'S BACHELORETTE PARTY????? hello even more foreshadowing :))))

The scene cuts back and forth when Lucy is helping with the cake and Tim with the flowers??? THEY'RE TELEPATHIC SOULMATES DON'T TALK TO ME.

And the fact that the lie detector was RANDY'S IDEA? I'm shrieking. "Ein wenig crazy," is definitely something my adhd bilingual ass has said irl

oh my lord how CLOSE she scoots her chair?? i'm melting

I thought it was kind of a nice touch to have Tim be actually surprised by the lie detector picking up his answer to the last question being a lie. Because honestly.... now it makes a little more sense: he's been lying to himself. Which is kind of an angle I didn't see coming. "I guess we do have a problem," sounds to me like he literally hasn't been able to admit to himself that he doesn't want Lucy undercover. Of course he wants her to make detective, that's not a question. Detective doesn't equal undercover. But he's been telling himself probably since day one that he's fine with it, that she's not Isabel, that he has nothing to worry about . . . and now he's finally seeing that he really is terrified. Something she's seen in him all along. And while their argument last episode was about more than just this (I still believe she was in the wrong for projecting so hard and making crazy assumptions about him), I think I can see where the writers were going with it.

THE I LOVE YOUS D E S T R O Y E D ME

Okay, back to the Looks at the wedding. Tim being all 🧍and scanning the crowd for his girl . . . Lucy delivering the Heart Eyes of the century . . . Them still sitting together because even though they're fighting, they're still each other's person, and nothing can change that . . . I'm going into cardiac arrest.

In my book, "We're gonna get through this" is a nice breath of fresh air and a bit of relief, but it doesn't mean they've worked everything out. Again, they need a good solid conversation. One that this episode was never going to give us, sadly. But it'll come!

ALSOOOO that moment when Aaron interrupts them and we see Tim's hand around her waist, I just OOF i need a moment

I AM NEVER GONNA BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS EPISODE. the foreshadowing, the parallels, the pining, the dancing, the fighting, the emotions, EVERYTHING. It was not perfect but it was WONDERFUL. 10000/10, I need to watch all their scenes about five million more times.

AND THERE WE HAVE IT. I'll definitely be posting more thoughts soon, but that's where I'm at for now. Basically I think they set the groundwork for a really solid, healthy relationship going forward. I LOVED their moments in this ep, absolutely top tier. The ANGST. I am eating up every second of it.

2 episodes down, 8 to go!!!

#the rookie #the rookie spoilers #chenford #asks #I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG #I'm physically unable to be coherent at the moment #I'll maybe have to do a deep dive sometime when my thoughts settle themselves :))) #thanks for the ask!!!!! #LOL you asked for comprehensive and that's what you got xD

[bumblingbabooshka]

This is literally one of my favorite moments for both Harry Kim and B’Elanna characterization. I think a lot of people forget how soft hearted and altruistic B’Elanna specifically can be while Harry, of course a friendly and sweet individual, devotes himself most often to the mission, his friends and Starfleet’s ideals. Harry’s been shown to be much more down-to-earth and less fantastical in his thinking than either Tom or B’Elanna. The only time he gets in major trouble with Janeway and breaks protocol is because he wants to be with a woman. This is distinctly different to me than Tom’s (attempting to save an alien world) and B’Elanna’s (giving a robot race the ability to reproduce) transgressions. His other biggest infraction is begin a mutiny which he does in order to save Janeway & Chakotay. He doesn’t get in trouble for this which is why I put it last but again it seems different from Tom or B’Elanna to me because it’s For The Ship it’s For The Captain it’s a crime which displays his loyalty to Janeway instead of one which demonstrates him going against her ideologically (as shown by the lack of punishment). In that way I think B’Elanna and Harry balance each other well. B’Elanna is a person who seems very nervous and defensive when in conversation with others, who thinks of herself as a person who is ‘bad’ and doesn’t believe in herself much. Meanwhile Harry seems to be at ease with most anyone he speaks to, attempting to befriend even Seven of Nine right away. He’s confident in himself and his abilities and out of everyone (yes even Tom who seems most often to just become frustrated) would be the one to push B’Elanna and break through her defenses. That’s to say it makes perfect sense that B’Elanna would be absolutely enamored by this person who views her as inspiring, would be struck by that while Harry views it as just a weird question. 

#I do n't know if I'm being coherent enough...but I really like this scene!!! #and I really like both B'Elanna and Harry Kim!! #st voyager #You might say 'It's just bc B'Elanna's been with these people' #BUT I REALLY think that Harry wouldn't have gone through with the whole 'participating in a play exit'...I think if it was Harry the episode #would have been one of those that ended with him looking sadly out a window like 'It's damn hard to follow protocol sometimes...' but he'd #see no other option #I REALLY hope I'm being uhh understandable HEHEH #whenever I ramble like this I'm like 'Bea you're not making any sense' #also thispost is dedicated to the folks who yell at me (affectionate) about putting the majority of my post in the tags HEHHEHE #I finally di d it...I put the whole post up there... #I was really going to just put 'This is one of my favorite characterization moments' up there and put the rest of that in the tags #but then I was like no...they need the whole thought process #labeling Harry Kim as just 'sweet boi uwu' and B'Elanna as 'fiesty angry lady' is a real disservice to their characters #and might be rooted in some OTHER things #like CERTAIN preconceptions #I think Harry's biggest established fears are not being particular special and being underestimated or babied #But none of those fears seem to drive his behavior the way B'Elanna's do #....God I hope this information is correct I always put this shit in the tags bc I'm afraid someone's gonna reblog this like #'Bea none of this happened what are you talking about' and I'll look it up and I'll be like what WAS I talking about #B'Elanna Torres #Harry Kim #Harry's fears also demonstrate that he thinks of himself as 'good' and more worries others won't be able to see it or he won't stand out #enough for it to matter - again much more confident than B'Elanna

[sirenium]

If you ever feel invalidated by an exclusionist, please remember this post because I can assure you they don't know what they're talking about💀

⚠️trigger warning for of course exclusionist dumbassery, also this gets rant-y⚠️

I swear exclusionists have the most incoherent thought processes known to man dude cuz what is this shit

[ID: purple header text reading he/him lesboy flag/ hesboy flag! Under this text is plain black text reading based on these two flags: •reclaimed lesboy •he/him lesbian. Under this, red, bold text reads DNI, followed by rad inclus, terfs/transmeds, anti he/him lesbians & she/her gays, male/men "lesbians" in black plain text. End ID]

'Lesboy flag' and 'no man lesbians' in the same post... my brain is melting. Also... these people 'reclaimed' the term lesboy? Just to exclude a group of people who are lesboys? You do know that lesbians who also consider themselves men are also included in the lesboy term? Apparently not to these people. Butches who also consider themselves men? Sorry, not lesbians anymore. Multigender man lesbians? Nah sorry you're men so you can't be lesbians./sarc

[ID: blue header text reading Demiboy lesbian flag! Beneath this, quote text (at least I think that's what it's called) reads I couldn't decide on which ones to choose, so I'm posting all of them! Beneath this, much like the previous image, OP starts off their DNI with a bold red DNI, followed by black plain text. This text reads mspec "lesbians", radinclus, terfs/transmeds, radfems, men/male "lesbians", anti he/him lesbians and she/her gays. End ID]

Is that,, not excluding demiboy lesbians? Oh my bad, it's fine cuz they're only 'partially male' and therefore aren't ACTUALLY icky men invading lesbian spaces!/sarc

Also can I just say how fucking entitled it is to be all like 'mspec "lesbians"' with the quotes and shit? Like oh my god get over yourself, you aren't the leader of the lesbians™️ [trademark]. Bro thinks they're part of the lesbian council or some shit. 💀

Besides that, this has got to be one of the funniest examples of exclusionist stupidity I've ever seen. I can't get over it bro: 'demiboy lesbian flag!' 'Fuck off icky man lesbians!' In the SAME. POST. BAHAHA–

-----

It's rare that I feel the need to take screenshots and talk about them on my blog, but these are so poetically idiotic that I had to make a whole post dedicated to them. So yeah, sorry about your braincells lmao. But just know you're valid regardless of how you identify as a lesbian, and these are the types of people who think otherwise. Needless to say, they aren't really that credible.

[ID: a DNI banner with a purple background with lighter purple text reading DNI: system/queer exlusionists, TERFs/SWERFs, truscum/transmeds, anti recovery for harmful paraphilia, anti otherkin, anti self dx, pro cringe culture, pro-lifers, anti xenogender. A more detailed DNI is in my pinned post. A transparent png of Shadow The Hedgehog can be seen on the right, beside the text. He's holding his hand to his chest, his body facing the text and his eyes looking off to the distance. End ID]

#tw exclusionism #random rant #demiboy lesbian #lesboy #transmasc lesbian #exclusionism rots your brain and this is proof💀 #I sometimes feel like exclus are these little creatures that I'm observing from behind a glass wall or something like it's so bizarre to me #how there are people in the world who actually think like this #and it's like ?????? #how??? can somebody be so dumb??? #that sounds so rude but like seriously how can somebody sit down #make a lesboy or demiboy lesbian flag #and be like 'lol no men lesbians' and think that's in any way coherent 💀 #it's so fucking funny to me #but also frustrating like just let people vibe lmao #anyway #we love lesboys who are lesboys for any reason here #rad inclus #radical inclusivity #radical inclusion

[scribefindegil]

been experiencing this truly wild thing recently where sometimes, if i lie down and do nothing for an hour or two, it actually makes me less tired?? has anyone else heard of this??

#fucked up if true #curseblogging #(if you're new here the joke is that i'm chronically ill and normally my body does not recover energy no matter what i do) #sometimes i can even do exciting things like Sit Upright For Half An Hour #or Experience One (1) Coherent Thought

[maythearo]

HAHAHA...

Totally didnt draw ace & deuce..

IM SO SORRY IM SO ANXIOUS RN..

— 🦦

Oh a friend mentioned something similar the other day, so if you're referring to the same post that I'm thinking,

I guess the tldr is that someone posted designs for a twst monster AU as well and Ace and Deuce's were pretty similar to mine but the person didn't mention my stuff in their post or anything, so in that context it was kinda difficult to tell if it was fanart/inspired designs ooor if the person was taking credit for making up the designs as a whole 😅

Not calling out this creator or anything, because I'm totally fine with people getting into this AU, drawing my designs or even taking my designs as base or inspiration for their own takes on the canon cast, monster AU's aren't a new thing, I definetely wasn't the first person to add it to a fandom, let alone being its "owner" (this idea is not mine, you guys! It's not! I only happen to post about it a lot with twst!)

I talked about this all before but baisically the only thing I'm kinda :/ about is if in a hypothetical scenario someone took the designs that I already made and claimed it as theirs. Like, taking them as inspiration to do your own thing is ok! Just not straight up saying it was you who made it up, if that makes sense?

I don't have strong feelings about all of this, really, but I'd like to avoid is possible future drama about "X stole Y's design or Y stole X's design" because I know this sort of scenario happens a lot in fandom spaces and it often escalates to crazy heights in some social media circles lol, but you know, as long as this scenario doesn't happen it's ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And I definetely don't think this person had bad intentions at all! The thing that might confuse some people is the fact they didn't mention me on their post and that might accidentally be seen in a weird light by others? but yeah it's not their fault and as long as they didn't have bad intentions, I'm alright with it!

(Not that this is gonna happen but just in case: don't go publicly accusing or tagging people that could have done this because this sort of situation could very well just be a misunderstanding and I wouldn’t want anyone stressed or upset over it kwdnskdnsk)

#🦦 anon #and thank you anon and mentioned friend for letting me know! #not to mention I find 'stolen character design' or 'stolen artstyles' type of discussions usually something not worth delving into it much #idk I don't reflect much about it sometimes it's not that serious wkdjekeo #if my art inspires people it's a win for me 💪 if someone decides to go for a 'no yeah this character belongs to me actually' then- #- that's on them ig #which is NOT the case here to my understanding so I'm chilling #I rambled again I hope this was coherent 😭 #.phantom asks

[philcoulsonismyhero]

I've accidentally gotten Way too invested in some characters I've been playing with for a 'one of my beloved early 2000s crime dramas but this time people are actually queer' type story, so here, have some middle-aged gays

George is a detective, Tim is a forensic pathologist, they're an established couple because I don't really write romance but I do enjoy a bit of domesticity, and any resemblance you may notice to other characters that I've drawn a lot is probably entirely deliberate, this is an exercise in self-indulgence

#original character #character design #mlm art #original character art #oc artwork #don't ask me why sometimes i post art on this blog directly and not my art blog #there's no coherent system it's just vibes #anyway i love these guys i got very attached very quickly #yes they're blatantly based on other characters but they're becoming their own people rapidly as ocs tend to #also the only reason i'm not drawing them as specific actors #is because i think this story would make a neat comic and you can't just steal someone's face #i'm too good at likenesses to get away with that #in my mind though these guys are still played by colin firth and a guy called tom ward #but i shall be drawing them as Those Actors but Slightly To The Left for plausible deniability #anyway i've got a whole movie-length story plotted out with these nerds #expect to see more of them #artistic endeavours #personal stuff #my OCs #gay detective thriller thing #which really needs a better name than that... #george glen #tim kingswood #comics stuff