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mariana-oconnor · 10 months

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The Final Problem pt 1

🎵It's the Fi-inal Proble-em🎶diddle-uh duh! Diddle-uduhduuuh!🎵

And now that's going to be stuck in my head all week.

I have seen multiple adaptations of this story and I believe I have read it twice in the original as well as having used it a few times for reference back in my days hanging out in the Sherlock comms on lj. So I know it pretty well. No rampant speculation this time, although there may be several highly inappropriate memes. I'll see what I can do.

It is with a heavy heart that I take up my pen to write these the last words in which I shall ever record the singular gifts by which my friend Mr Sherlock Holmes was distinguished.

Ah, here we find the true dichotomy of Watsonian vs Doyleist, as depicted in the diagram below.

My hand has been forced, however, by the recent letters in which Colonel James Moriarty defends the memory of his brother, and I have no choice but to lay the facts before the public exactly as they occurred.

ANOTHER FUCKING COLONEL! Colonels are the worst. I'm sure that at some poitn in his life ACD was in some way drastically wronged by a colonel in the British army whom he never forgot or forgave. Not a Major or a Lieutenant or a Captain, but definitely a Colonel.

Also, I thought Professor Moriarty was also called James. Did their parents just lack imagination? Or could they not be bothered to learn more than one name. Does it matter which child turns up, as long as one of them does? Is James just the name that ACD uses when he can't think of any others?

I alone know the absolute truth of the matter...

Are you sure about that, Watson? I feel like maybe there's like... one tiny thing you don't know. Just one. Absolutely minuscule thing. Not important at all. Barely worth knowing.

It may be remembered that after my marriage, and my subsequent start in private practice, the very intimate relations which had existed between Holmes and myself became to some extent modified.

Literally the other day you were living with him in Baker Street again, and it seems like you spent more time with Holmes in the months after your marriage than you did with your wife or at work, so I'm not sure that starting this true account of events off with a bald-faced lie is the best course of action, but sure.

Reading these stories in this order and seeing with complete clarity that ACD paid no attention to his past writing with regards to timeline and continuity is kind of funny. There were only three cases in 1890? I'm sure we've had more than three cases give us specific dates in 1890. I can't remember exactly when he got married, but it wasn't that long before 1890 (1888 wikipedia tells me, and many stories take place in that nebulous 'months after I was married' period. The timeline is honestly just chaos. One of the last stories was set in 1892, which from the date of this story is clearly impossible, so... Watson just makes up the dates to suit his own agenda?)

I received two notes from Holmes, dated from Narbonne and from Nîmes...

Now that I know he was recently in Nimes, I am going to be picturing Holmes in a pair of jeans for the rest of this story. That's just how it is. Sorry. And before you say it's anachronistic, denim trousers became popular in the 1870s in the states, iirc, so it's entirely plausible.

"...I must further beg you to be so unconventional as to allow me to leave your house presently by scrambling over your back garden wall."

Watson I have come to close your shutters, smoke a cigarette and climb over your backwall, and I'm all out of shutters and cigarettes.

"Is Mrs Watson in?" "She is away upon a visit." "Indeed! You are alone?" "Quite." "Then it makes it the easier for me to propose that you should come away with me for a week to the Continent."

Oh, and also to invite you on an impromptu romantic getaway to the continent, seeing as your wife's not around. I'm in fear for my life, but it's going to be great fun.

Watson suggesting that this is an 'aimless holiday' is odd. Watson, if your friend comes to you and admits that he's afraid of being shot and has been in a fight, wants to leave your house in an unconventional manner that will help him avoid being seen and simultaneously suggests you leave the country. It might be connected. The destination is clearly less important than the departing.

"You have probably never heard of Professor Moriarty?" said he.

This reveal was kind of spoiled for modern readers with the Colonel's name earlier, which is a bit of a shame. But I guess ACD had no idea that Moriarty would become such a household name that just this in itself would be able to make readers a century on go 'Oh!' Still a pity, though. Having that whole 'in danger for his life' thing and THEN the Moriarty reveal would be a better build up for modern readers.

"His career has been an extraordinary one. He is a man of good birth and excellent education, endowed by nature..."

👀

"...with a phenomenal mathematical faculty."

What is an 'army coach'? I mean, I know what I feel like it means, but I fail to see how it would be a good job for a professor of mathematics. Did he coach them in maths?

"He is the Napoleon of crime, Watson. He is the organiser of half that is evil and of nearly all that is undetected in this great city. He is a genius, a philosopher, an abstract thinker. He has a brain of the first order. He sits motionless, like a spider in the centre of its web, but that web has a thousand radiations, and he knows well every quiver of each of them."

Me, trying to find the most ridiculous gif of Macavity from Cats (2019): There's so. many. to choose from.

"Again and again he strove to break away, but I as often headed him off. I tell you, my friend, that if a detailed account of that silent contest could be written, it would take its place as the most brilliant bit of thrust-and-parry work in the history of detection."

When I first realised that Moriarty appears in only 1 of the Sherlock Holmes stories, I was kind of astonished, because he always seemed like he must have been a recurring nemesis to have made such an impact on the canon. But no, it really is just this story and ACD gives him a lot of hype. It leaves a lot of space in the narrative, and as we all know, the plot holes are where the fanfic gets in. Sherlock Holmes, I believe, is the most adapted character in English literary history. More than Robin Hood, more than King Arthur, more than any Shakespeare play. And you've got to wonder if part of that is because of the gaps in the narrative that are mentioned, but not fleshed out.

I wonder if, at the time, there were Sherlock Holmes fan groups who pored over past cases trying to find evidence of Moriarty's hand in previous stories. I bet there were people scribbling their own ideas of what happened between Moriarty and Holmes and reading them to their friends and family in the evenings. Just as I bet, after this story, a million fix it stories were written/told. I've never heard of any existing, but it feels like there must have been.

"I was sitting in my room thinking the matter over, when the door opened and Professor Moriarty stood before me."

"His appearance was quite familiar to me. He is extremely tall and thin, his forehead domes out in a white curve, and his two eyes are deeply sunken in this head. He is clean-shaven, pale, and ascetic-looking, retaining something of the professor in his features. His shoulders are rounded from much study, and his face protrudes forward, and is forever slowly oscillating from side to side in a curiously reptilian fashion."

Police officers are mammalian and criminal masterminds are reptilian. Good to know.

"'You have less frontal development that I should have expected,' said he, at last. 'It is a dangerous habit to finger loaded firearms in the pocket of one's dressing-gown.'"

"You have a small head." Interesting opening line. Although it is fair to say that he's right about the gun. Not best practice.

"'All that I have to say has already crossed your mind,' said he. "'Then possibly my answer has crossed yours,' I replied."

These lines are iconic, but also, as someone who has written on occasion, also genius. Why bother trying to work out a suitably intelligent and ominous conversation when you can do this instead and have it work ten times better. It's a lovely bit of writing.

"'You crossed my path on the 4th of January,' said he. 'On the 23d you incommoded me; by the middle of February I was seriously inconvenienced by you; at the end of March I was absolutely hampered in my plans; and now, at the close of April, I find myself placed in such a position through your continual persecution that I am in positive danger of losing my liberty. The situation is becoming an impossible one.'"

I do also love this matter of fact little summary, where Moriarty has clearly had his thesaurus open at the word 'blocked' and just picked words at random. The exasperation and yet strange calm of having this all written down in his diary is great. Moriarty is very well constructed as a character.

He goes on to say 'tut, tut' as well, which is just such a supercilious, condescending little thing to say. He is eminently hateable, and yet simultaneously has done nothing actually wrong on page.

Holmes refers to him as Mr Moriarty to his face and Professor Moriarty to Watson, which is a nice little bit of pettiness. Technically he isn't a professor any more, but just that little bit of disrespect to his face. Beautiful.

"I took a cab after that and reached my brother's rooms in Pall Mall, where I spent the day."

Oh hai, Mycroft!

So far, Holmes has escaped death 3 times today. So he's doing pretty well.

I do find it odd that with so many days advance warning, Moriarty can't find another way to not be arrested on Monday that isn't killing Holmes. Can't he just... stop whatever thing is happening on Monday?

"The practice is quiet," said I, "and I have an accommodating neighbour. I should be glad to come."

The return of Watson's accommodating neighbour, the true unsung hero of these tales. There had better be a fanfic on AO3 that's a bystander POV of Watson's long-suffering doctor neighbour and all the times Waton pops his head in and says 'I have to have adventures today, you don't mind keeping an eye on my practice do you, old chum? Splendid! See you in a week!'

I'm sure all of Holmes instructions about how Watson should get to the station are justified, but they are also very funny.

"...dash through the Arcade, timing yourself to reach the other side at a quarter-past nine."

Ah yes, I know exactly how quickly to run through the arcade to make sure I get to the other side at exactly quarter past nine. Who doesn't?

This is only a two parter, and the next part is due tomorrow, it says, rather than on Tuesday. So, everyone get your mourning bands ready.

#Letters from Watson #Sherlock Holmes #The Final Problem #long post #I'd apologise for the Cats (2019) gif #but I'm not sorry #There might be more tomorrow

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pb-dot · 22 days

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Film Friday: A formal apology to Last Night In Soho

People who have followed me for a while, or done some serious backreading may remember an early essay I wrote about the Edgar Wright film Last Night In Soho and how I couldn't make myself to watch the thing again. I've been trying to dig the thing up again so I could do a good follow-up, but Tumblr's search function continues to be Like That, so I'll just have to go by my memory of the thing for now. Last Night In Soho spoilers and some dreaded nuance below the cut!

In short, I struggled with how mean-spirited the film felt to me. Protagonist Eloise Turner gets chewed up and spitten out by a London that is sleazy, cruel and unforgiven even in the genre of "country mouse goes to the Big City and has a Terrible Time of Things" stories. It's a morally messy and gray kind of tale, where our hero narrowly evades a victim turned villain by the cruelty of the world around her by confronting her with the cruelties she herself indulged in. It's a real Bad Vs. Evil kind of situation, and just thinking of how much of an exhausting, terrifying experience the story would turn to for young Eloise made her early scrappy, if naive, enthusiasm turn to ash in my mouth.

The thing is, upon actually watching the thing again, and through explaining what's going on to my parents that, bless 'em, weren't quite following along on the plot, I came to realize something. All of the things mentioned above are true, that is what happens in the movie, and that's ok.

Eloise gets the utter shit kicked out of her by the plot. She falls down the tree of Moving to the Big City and hits just about every branch on the way down. Her natural empathy gets hijacked by a tale more sordid and violent than she's ready for, and there's no pot of golden rectification at the end of that rainbow, just a sad, twisted murderous grandmother dying in a house fire surrounded by the ghosts of her murdered abusers. It didn't have to end this way, Sandie didn't have to try killing Eloise to cover everything up. If she wasn't so warped from the abuse she suffered she might've even understood that Eloise has a lot in common with her, even when you ignore that she has, through her paranormal powers, Eloise has literally BEEN her. Eloise has literally felt her pain, her fear, her desperation. There is nobody in the world, maybe not even Sandie herself that has as good of a reason to be charitable and kind fo Sadie. It's no good, though, Sandie is too far gone to even consider empathy a possibility.

This is, of course, bleak as shit, and how bleak it is kind of blinded me to the point the movie was making. Upon a rewatch it seems almost absurd to me that I missed it in the first place, but the movie actually has a pretty clever thesis on Nostalgia built into it. Eloise goes to london, expecting it to be as magical of a place as she imagine it being in the late 60's. It is not, of course, even if the 60's was a stylish wonderland like she imagines it, the wear and tear of time and several generation-defining economic crisises (and entirely too many Tory governments if you permit me to talk politics for a hot second) have changed the place up. That is, however, just the starting conditions, the base camp from which Eloise's nostalgic dreams get confronted with the nastiness of reality.

Sadie is in many ways the perfect person for Eloise to project onto. She strides into the world of late 60's Soho with the effortless confidence of youth. She's not from around here, but she is going to make her dreams come true withher gumption and her beautfy and her unflinching confidence. Sounds a lot like Eloise, except Sadie is more of a girlboss than Ellie ever gets to. Of course, Sadie also falls out of the tree of moving to the Big City and hits a whole ton of branches on the way down, but that's not all there is to it. See, if the takeaway of the whole thing was "the protagonist thinks Before was better, but she learns that Before Was Pretty Terrible Actually," Last Night would truly be too cynical, full of pain and suffering, signifying nothing.

That's not what's happening though, if it did, Eloise would take half a look at what Sadie's life turned into and gotten the fuck out of dodge. It'd be a tale of the depravity of the city that a good soul narrowly escaped. That's not the movie Last Night In Soho is, and it's not even close. If anything, Eloise's obsession with South London and the sad life and assumed death of Sadie only deepens as she learns of just how bad things get for the doomed starlet.

It's one of those plot things that effectively illustrates that the difference between a character strength and a character weakness is highly dependent on context. Eloise is an emphatetic person, mirroring her openness to ghostly visions by her openness to other living people. It does her no favors in most interractions with her new classmates, but Eloise can no more stop feeling sympathy and openness to experience and feelings any more than a tiger can change its spots.

So, Eloise is an admirable character because she can not stop being kind, even when it's a disadvantage. She could no more fire back at her queen bee bitchy roomate than she could walk on water, and so she choses to resolve the solution by moving out entirely. It's that kind of "too nice by half" personality that's mostly present in fictional characters to give them a place to grow out of, to learn to stand up to themselves and so on. That's not the angle Last Night goes for though, I'd argue what it does is a much more nuanced take on such a character.

I would argue, though, that throughout Last Night In Soho, Eloise's empathy is in fact her most grievous character flaw. She almost ruins her life and her future by actively seeking out Sadie's tragedy, soaking in it like she can redeem the time period she is so enamored by absorbing Sadie's misery and quote-unquote saving her from her ignoble end. The world does not require this of Sadie, she puts this unreasonably huge demand on herself because it's the only way her unquestioning love for the time and place of Sadie's life can remain unexamined. Sadie's tragedy can only be an emergent flaw in the system of that time and place. If late 60's Soho chewed up and spat out young ambitious women like her and Sadie as a matter of course, how could it be the magical place of the movies and music that Eloise loves so much?

It's with this in mind that the ending scene where Eloise displays her new clothes designs goes from being a "oh, nice for her I guess" kind of denoument into a pretty powerful thesis statement. Eloise stil loves the things she loved about the 60's, she still loves the music, the aesthetics of it, the style of the clothing, but it is tempered by a distinctive and conscious sense of anachronism. This isn't the 60's coming back, this is Eloise, a modern young woman, showing the world what she loved about those bygone times filtered through her own experiences. This is, the movie says, what Nostalgia should be, an ongoing conversation with and about the aesthetics of the past without attempting to restore some sort of prelapsarian way of things that never existed in the first place.

In a world where an increasing amount of people start looking at the 50's with a worrying level of fondness, I think a movie like Last Night In Soho is important. It's ok to like rockabilly, it's ok to like stepford housewife chic, it's ok to like three-piece work suits, the movie all but says, but don't try to make today like the times when these styles arose. They weren't the Good Old Days the way it's tempting to think of them. They were Days, and depending on who you were they could be the farthest thing from good. Love the things and looks you love, but let the thoughts patterns and politics that informed them remain in the past where they belong.

So in short, I fear that in my initial piece on this movie, I did the Classical Tumblr Mistake of reading ill, conservative, will into a nuanced work that deals with complex topics in a surprisingly elegant way. So, that's my bad, and I'm glad that actually getting off my ass and giving it a second look has opened up my eyes to a lot of beautifully shot, artfully presented nuance. Last Night In Soho is a great move y'all. Go see it. Hell, if you've only seen it once, maybe see it again?

#last night in soho #film friday #also I haven't even gotten into how much of a trippy giallo-esque delight this movie is visually #or the clear and apparent love that's been put into the soundtrack #and the camerawork? Oh lord #I have to write a third damn thing about this movie now don't I?#stay tuned for that I suppose #Also I'm starting to wonder if the fact that I first saw this movie on a date that went to a kinda weird place may have biased me against i #Keep an eye out for my confused thoughts about The Boy And The Heron in that case #I'd say iykyk #but you don't so I won't #Finally (do anyone ever read all of these?) I'd apologize for the pun with the first gif #but I'm not sorry #not even a little bit

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