#but idk j could get eggs

[brainrotdotorg]

imagine a dashboard for alligators. what do you think that would look like

2 notes

🍏gatoridae Follow

Controversial opinion. If you're doing nothing but eating meat, what are you even doing. Remember to include bugs, fruits, and legumes into your diet in order to help aid digestion of the meat that you get from snakes, fish, and mammals.

Just because we have the reputation for eating lots of meat, that doesn't mean we have to stick to it.

🥒biting-you-biting-you Follow

counterpoint: fuit yucky

🪵blog-from-a-bog Follow

wdym reputation of eating meat. i float lik ea log thats what im known for

4,904 notes

🌿swamp-ass Follow

asked dad if i could go and steal some Floridian guy's lunch and he said "we have prey at home" girl we have been doing shit ALL DAY i am an awesome 600 pounds and I need some meat left on me to deathroll with. let me get a quick snack that i don't need to kill mmmmmmm burgers I want people food soooooo badddd....... i know they shouldn't feed it to me but I have such a lovely smile oh please oh please give me your burger.........

182 notes

🥗aliali-seeyoulater Follow

mom says it was cold the season she laid me so i have to be a girl. because girls are always born from eggs laid during cold seasons.

cope and seethe mother first of all, second of all, the reason i am transgender is because you kept me too fucking snuggly warm in the nest.

#i guess if you wanted a daughter you should have. idk. made a shittier nest? #thats not really my fault man

81,337 notes

⛰fuckyeahhugesnout Follow

You'll never guess how I just learned that we have the honor of being the "loudest reptiles in the world"

🫑teethem Follow

Yeah yeah, the 90 decibel mating bellow, we've all heard it.

🤢ch0mper Follow

we've all heard the what

135,633 notes

🩲gaytorrr Follow

this guy asked if i wanted to see his gator hole and i said fuck yes. why this boy take me into a 65 foot long hole in the mud at the bottom of the lake

6,421 notes

🏞daily-clawsitivity

✨Remember to take it easy sometimes!✨We thrive in slow-moving waters!✨Even though we can run fast, we get tired fast too-- it's okay to let yourself take breaks!✨Let yourself relax, that's how we made it this far as a species.

mud-rocks-deactivated20140706

Yeah, imagine telling your prehistoric great great great great great great great great great great grandpa or something to calm down and relax when he should be doing nothing but deathrolls. the longevity of the species should be your only goal. It's irresponsible to encourage your fucking species to fall behind even more than it already has? Have some pride, you're not a crocodile.

scalesssss-deactivated20150310

jesus christ calm down

alidile-crocogator-deactvated20140709

Okay, this post has a lot of misconceptions in it. There aren't as many differences between crocodiles and alligators than you think. It's really harmful to think that we have nothing in common with each other. So what if they're carnivores and we're closer to omnivores, or their snouts are more U shaped while ours are V shaped. We're both badass miracles of nature that have no reason to be pit against one another all the time.

Don't listen to guys like this. It's just hateful and small-minded.

stop-jawlock-androll-deactivated20140911

crocs are like. like them shoes that float right

wetlandia898 Follow

i wish i was a crocodile because i could have a virgin birth and i wanted to see what it would be like to eat an immaculate conception.

bigchallengesrealblog-deactivated20190412

welcome to the no notes gator/croc discourse post.

🦖l8rg8tr-z Follow

omg this is the post.... i can't believe i would see this naturally on my dash

🎍taildraggers Follow

Uh are we just going to ignore the virgin birth reply orrrrrrrrr

🐊gator-heritage-posts

gator heritage post

0 notes

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Follow

hgwiow h

hsfhjs

howw ws i nbevyrboy tyopingssaog oo vd wi hhrth rh thrre cl alawas ?>>

🌴a-l-g-t-r Follow

lmao this idiot never learned how to use their tail to type

#/j lol yeah its kind of hard at first #actually i'd say cut your losses and forget how to type bring the laptop back to the dumpster its not worth it

39 notes

🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow

am i fucking stupid. i just learned theres another species of alligator other than just me and the guys in my swamp. and i said "oh wow I didn't know that! which one of the two are we haha" and my buddy just stared at me like I was a fucking idiot. how am i supposed to know if no one ever tells me this . WHICH AM I

🍖meet-eat3r Follow

there are only 70-80 mature chinese gators in existence while there are 750,00-1 million mature american gators . do the math.

🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow

i could have just hatched you don't know me.

20,570 notes

🍀gatortears Follow

a group of queer gators in church call that a congregaytion

#reblogging this one bc none of you appreciate me

1 notes

👞makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow

I'm seeing the no notes gator/croc post circulate again and ha ha yes it's very funny, but we are NOT starting gator/croc discourse in 2024. lets leave that shit in the past. i know that's not what the post really ended up being about but i am soooooo sick of it.

🌾clawstothewalls Follow

okay, so the one with a fetish for getting turned into handbags is gonna talk down to us now.

👞 makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow

Not to be a pedant but its Shoes Actually. It even says so in the name. Shoes.

2,663 notes

#this post was all an excuse to tell you alligator fun facts #i fucking got you dude. i got you

[schrodinger-swriter]

Can I request a sequel to the egg boi mom thing where Pentious is taking care of his S/O who has a really bad stomach bug and the egg children are worried.

My stomach has been dying for two days.

Sir Pentious and the Egg Boiz w/ a Sick!Motherly!Reader

I hope your stomach feels better soon! Stomach aches/bugs suck bumbum..

You can find the post being referred to right here! Though I don't think you will need to read that post for this one to make sense!

Glad to hear that everyone enjoyed that post, by the by! I feel like I could have done more but I have mommy issues so idk what moms do/j/lh

Anywho, I hope you enjoy, Anon! C:

The egg boiz gather around your bed, waiting for you to ask them for something. Anything. They don't want to leave your side, but they want to make sure that you get exactly what you need... or want.. as soon as possible! They only move for Sir Pentious, when he comes in with some soup.

Speaking of, I think Sir Pentious is a... so-so cook! He's not terrible, and he can follow recipes fairly well! It's just... well sometimes he can get a little... inventive with ideas. Sometimes he deviates if he feels he can make improvements to the dish. The good news it, he is very stiff with instructions when it comes to making something for his sick partner, out of fear he would make the illness worse! He would spoon feed you... oh and don't think he's going to forget getting you your fluids! He's going to make sure you stay hydrated! In fact he probably assigns one of the eggs to water duty!

If you're cold the eggs start fighting over who gets to give you a spare blanket, or if you need an extra pillow they'd do the same. They follow behind you in a loose cluster when you pull yourself out of bed to go to the bathroom... on the chance you have a rush of energy to rush to the bathroom to throw up but immediately lose the ability to move after... they're going to carry you to bed. Kind of like that one scene from one of the original Spiderman movies, where they're carrying Peter... Forgot which film it was from.. "Carefully he's a hero" meme.

Pentious wants more than anything to hold you, but he won't.. for two reasons. One, he risks getting sick himself.. and while the idea doesn't sound too bad, it means he can risk spreading it to everyone else in the hotel... the other reason is due to him being cold blooded, he doesn't want to steal what little heat you have away from your body. Speaking of temperature, Pentious keeps on top of that via thermometer. He heart does a little skip whenever your temperature changes even one degree. In joy if it goes down, in worry if it goes up.

The eggs take shifts in the night to make sure you don't need anything. They have an entire shift system... it's actually a little endearing that they care this much...

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin imagine #hazbin x reader #hazbin x you #sir pentious x you #sir pentious imagine #sir pentious x reader

[webslingingslasher]

J IMAGINE HIM TELLING MAY ABOUT HER

when he’s like in LOVE OHFBDFBDBBDBD I’m throwing up. THIS IS A WHOLE NEW SIDE OF FRAT PETER… BUT ALSO ITS EXACTLY THE SAME IDK ITS JUST SO FUN/FRESH

I love it here

'who is she?'

peter's surprised it took may this long to ask, he takes his time to stack an egg on toast before taking a bite. 'who's who?' another bite while may sips on her tea, neither one of them in a rush. for once, peter doesn't feel panic when he feels your name dance over his tongue.

'the girl you're in love with.'

he knows he is. he's so pathetically head over heels for you it makes him sick. and everyone knows it but you.

finally, a chance to let it out. he could talk about you for hours and may would never get bored, instead she'd poke and peter would hit a wall and he'd be estatic to go back to you with a new slew of questions.

peter finishes his toast and sets the plate in the sink. wiping the crumbs from the corner of his mouth, he clears his throat.

'her name is...'

#frat!peterxvirgin!reader #we need a better tag besties

[andorskenobi]

The Good I'll Do | J. Seresin

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x F!Reader

Summary: Jake had always been viewed as the guy who just screws around, no feelings attached. Really he just wanted someone to remind him he's worth more than just one night, and then he met you.

Warnings: angst(?), use of nicknames, no use of y/n, allusion to smut, pls lmk if I missed anything else !!

A/N: I just think that this song is very Hangman coded idk its in my hangman playlist so yeah, also I am very new to this so please feel free to leave any requests/recommendations that you may have anything Top Gun, Star Wars, or GoT.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was the fifth 'date' you and Jake had gone on and he was just waiting for you to decide you were done with him. But you just wouldn't let him go. He had always thought that people only ever wanted him for the sex, but it was different with you. The two of you had only ever had sex twice which was almost refreshing for him.

Now the two of you sat in your driveway, his callused hand in your soft ones. Neither of you wanted to get out just yet and it was evident in the air around you.

You were the first to break the comfortable silence that had built between the two of you, "Do you wanna come in?"

Jake turned to face you, taking in your eyes and the way they incapsulated the light from the streetlamps, "Yeah."

His response came out airier than he meant it to, and he knew you took notice of that. The two of you got out of his truck and he watched as you unlocked the door, going inside sideways as you always did when you were tipsy.

When you both got inside Jake closed the door, locking it behind you, before following you to your bedroom where you had made yourself comfortable.

"Nope, get up, you are not going to sleep with your shoes still on." Jake sat on the edge of your bed, pulling your feet into his lap.

"I don't care, I wanna sleep," you mumble into the pillow. Jake just rolled his eyes and continued to take your shoes off.

"C'mon honey, lets get you out of those jeans. You'll thank me in the morning." You begrudgingly rolled over and let Jake remove the jeans.

Jake watches as you crawl underneath the covers before putting the sweatpants that he left at your house for nights when he slept over on. When he got in bed you immediately snuggled into his side, slotting your legs between his and putting your head in the crook of his neck. Jake never wanted to let moments like these with you go. These moments made him believe that he was worth more, worth more than just an evening.

The next morning Jake woke up to find your side of the bed cold and empty and the smell of cooking coming from the kitchen. Jake smiled to himself before removing the covers from his body and made his way to the kitchen. It took everything in him not to laugh when he saw you dancing in front of the stove as you cooked.

Jake walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. You turned your head to look up at him, a smile on your face.

"Good morning Bagman." Jake rolled his eyes as you placed a kiss to his jaw.

"Ha ha, real cute honey. What are you making?"

"Oh, well it was supposed to be pancakes but they turned out to be more like scrambled eggs, but made with pancake batter." You frowned before turning back to the stove, "I'm sorry, it turns out I am not actually as good of a cook as I thought."

"Yeah, go ahead and hand me the spatula sweets." You handed it to him, moving out of the way so he could salvage your attempt at breakfast.

You watched as Jake cooked a smile on your face knowing that you were the only person getting to see this side of him, and frankly you would be happy if you could see this side of him for the rest of your life.

"I can feel your eyes burning into the back of my head." You laughed, shaking your head.

"I am just thinking."

"About?" Jake turned his head to look at you and then turned his attention back to the stove.

"You, us. Life? I don't know." This got Jake's full attention.

"What about us?"

"What are we? Like what is it that we're doing here?" Jake nodded before smiling, which annoyed you.

"We," Jake gestured between the two of you, stepping closer as he did, "are whatever you want us to be. You want a label, fine. Nothing, it'll suck but if that's what you want then I'll understand."

"What about what you want?"

"I just want you," Jake brushed the hair stray hair that had fallen from your braid behind your ear, his hand resting on your cheek.

You pull him closer connecting your lips for a quick kiss, "Then I am yours."

Jake smiles before pulling you in for another kiss, this one more rushed than the other. His hands began roaming your body, pushing the straps of the sundress you wore off your shoulders.

"Jake," you sighed into the kiss, "your pancakes are burning."

Jake pulled away from the kiss just long enough to turn the eye off and move the pan to a cold eye, and then turned his attention back to you.

"Jump." Jake commanded his hands under you to support your weight as you jumped up, wrapping your legs around his waist. Jake carried you to your bedroom, never once breaking the kiss.

#jake hangman x reader #jake seresin #top gun fanfiction #jake hangman seresin #hangman x reader #jake seresin x you #hangman x you #jake seresin fluff #hangman fluff #top gun x reader #top gun fandom #top gun hangman

[sunenjoyswriting]

Okay, so if I got the rules right.

Can I request Lilia trying to cook alongside the reader and, because reader has a soft spot for such a determined chef like Lilia, they let him.

BUT, somehow they make an actual good meal.

Gn for the reader and if you want, purely platonic.

This Bat-Man is trying his best okay?

The impossible has been achieved!?

Writers note: Anon I am so sorry this took so long. Procrastination and lack of motivation have gotten to me…

Possible warnings: Mentions of Lilia’s cooking/j. Reader isn’t Yuu (that was my plan at least idk how obvious it is)

Summary: Reader and Lilia cook together because reader has a soft spot for Lilia... Except, they actually manage to NOT burn down the Diasomnia kitchen!?

Lilia was infamous in the Diasomnia dorm for many things, one of said things being his... Definitely questionable cooking.

You, as someone who is somewhat of a competent cooker, has someone managed to take a soft spot for Lilia, and ends up trying to cook with him on more then one occasion. You've had to pay hundreds of thaumarks to repair the Diasomnia kitchen due to this.

Of course, you never learn apparently, because you're yet again attempting to cook with Lilia. (The rest of the dorm can only hope that it goes somewhat well...)

It was a simple meal - some scrambled eggs! Very simple, nobody can mess those up (excluding Lilia. He can manage to mess them up, probably.)

You were very careful to be detailed with your instructions, and were doing anything that Lilia could easily mess up (example: heating up the stove. We don't want another fire, now do we?), in hopes to avoid having to spend more thaumarks on repairs.

“So now you crack the eggs over the pan.” You instructed, keeping your eyes on Lilia to make sure that he doesn’t mess up such a simple act.

Thankfully, he didn’t fuck that up.

”Now, I’ll scramble them.” You said, grabbing the… whatever you use to scramble eggs because honestly I barely cook and don’t remember the names of any cooking utensils, and quickly scrambling the eggs.

Now all you had to do was wait for them to finish, and assure Lilia doesn't add any of his "secret ingredients" to the food and it'll be perfect...

So you did just that, and managed to get the scrambled eggs onto a plate WITHOUT any of the kitchen being charred black! Its a miracle!

You were finally able to make something with Lilia successfully, even if it were just scrambled eggs...

~ The End ~

…

Bonus:

Malleus: "... Are you sure Lilia helped you make this?"

Reader: "Yep! He did help me!"

Lilia: "I can confirm that~ I cracked the eggs!"

Silver: "... Sure, father, whatever you say."

(Does Silver actually call Lilia "father" in the game? Maybe! But if he doesn't, well, he does now!)

#writing blog #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland lilia #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x reader

[zandlikething]

WARNING BIG SPOILERS FOR QSMP BAD POV AND A LITTLE BIT OF PHIL POV ALSO JUST A LOT OF RAMBLING READ AT YOUR OWN RISK BECAUSE WOOO BOY THERE A LOT AND IM NOT EVEN DONE YET

I have so many thoughts on Bad's last stream the fact like OMG my heart QSMP needs to pay for all of our therapy

I'll probably do another post because holy crap there is a lot that happened today

I thought it was sweet Dapper and Pomme went to qPhil first because Dapper said they know he has concretions to some kind of goddess of death obviously referring to Kristin but I still am not sure if she is actually canons but it was a cute reference and it's nice to know that Phil has lots of tickets if they need cookies this week.

But also like Damn Phil cannot get a break first Tubbo now Bad I swear soon all the eggs will be ophans /j

Also apparently Taulluah is seeing the ghost of the eggs that died and one more. Idk if it's also an egg or something/someone else but if it's an egg I think it's either: 1. A-1 the egg that evil quackity was testing and died or Hope.

For those who don't remember Hope was an egg in a different orphanage than the original eggs that Cellbit found a while ago. The egg left a diary of their time in the orphanage. No one came for the egg and died but told that whoever is reading their book should not be sad for them. That's all I remember I'd have to go back and look to see what else I can find.

ANYWAYS Yeah so Taulluah sees ghosts now that are sad for some reason and she doesn't know why and Bad is missing and also presumably dead or a ghost? Because as we were following Dapper and Pomme on Bad's stream the thing would have reactions a lot of like what Bad would have. Like nodding and shaking his head or rolling his head for rolling his eyes. It all just felt very Bad like.

Also he was very against using any spells of stuff to block spirits so I think it might be Bad somehow looking out for them but not able to talk or interact with them for some reason.

I know these are a lot of signs at once but I find it very sweet that Dapper despite everything is trying to keep a positive view of everything and trying to cheer Pomme up.

I love how this is the plan they come up with to get Bad back lol 😆 I'm sure they'll come up with a real plan but who knows this could maybe work

Dapper and Pomme did this a lot and I love it. Them just leaning their heads together silently telling the other it's ok we are together aggghhh it is so sweet. And the fact that they did it multiple times I imagine just reassuring the other and themselves that they are there.

This was so pretty and nice just Dapper and Pomme watching the sunset (07 Bobby) together going over memories

Talking about their dead siblings and Max saying they should build a new place for them to remember them and wish them a Happy birthday every month

I didn't get screenshots of it but Dapper telling Pomme that all of their past siblings would have loved her with how sweet Tiln was and how good it was to be around Flippa, how Trump would have loved picking flowers with her and how Bobby would have loved doing pvp with Pomme :,) like bro I am literally tearing up

I am going to make a part two because tumbler is at its limit of how many screenshots I can show because guess what there is more heartwarming and heartbreaking stuff I need to talk and show

#qsmp thoughts #i have so many thoughts like holy shit #qsmp theory #qsmp #qsmp spoilers #dapper qsmp #qsmp pomme #qsmp tallulah #qsmp bbh #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp rambles #qsmp screenshots #qsmp eggs #qsmp rant #qsmp bobby #qsmp tilin #qsmp trump #qsmp flippa #quackity smp

[yellowymellon]

Family theory ⬇️

i'm abt to present the most controversial theory ever/j it's just a silly one xD (beware tis long)

as far as we know, xipe themselves descend on the charmony festival. but does this hymn insinuates that multiple faces descend instead of the entirety of xipe? let's first see the content of this hymn:

it starts by talking abt dominicus as a manifestation of xipe, dominicus means sunday, this could be further supported by the many mentions of law and authority as sunday is shown to be orderly, methodical and obessesive compulsive. "the gazillions of old laws have all faded" i suppose that could be ena which makes sunday even more connected to them.

constantina is the second manifestation who is a singer. who else is a probable emenator of harmony and is a singer?

from the collectible cards found in penacony, robin's says the following "Surrounded by vibrant lights, the audience was moved to tears by her voice. All the flaws, ugliness, deception, and loneliness in life were forgotten." it fits well as robin is many times portrayed in this manner.

Aelenev, his description is abt battles and war, it might be a metaphor but it could be talking abt the very distant past of penacony. there isnt much info i can derive from here or firmly link it to someone but i have someone in mind.

beatriz, while dance seems like the main characteristic but so is singing and feasting. "the world is a ball" i think beatriz resides over culture and entertainment.

now before i talk abt who i think the last two are i need you to know the family lineages, there's 5 families. the name followed by purpose by the head :

oak - management - sunday

nightingale - construction - Sir Whittaker (npc)

bloodhound - security - head unknown

Iris - entertainment -  Maeven Ellis

alfalfa - economy - oti alfalfa

ofc the dreammaster exists as a seperate entity of all 5.

there's some truth to the first pic, the dreammaster does control the 5 families, and his orders are absolute. the history here could be altered by History Fictionologists, followers of enigmata.

the hymn only mentions 4 ppl tho, 2 are the closest to sunday and robin, the latter isnt even a family head, which is a bit weird but makes sense why she gets invited to the charmony festival. but beatriz very much matches with iris' head, Maeven Ellis. Aelenev is more tricky to define but he could be Gopher Wood, found in the collectibles. i couldn't find anything concrete in his description but "we have discovered the lord's disciple in the mortal world" is an interesting line, i mostly took his appearance in consideration :

(ignore aideen and lesley) anyway- gopher wood seem to carry a 'gospel' and has a crow by his side (just like sunday who has erm a raven? a nightingale that looks like an eagle?) and his wings are scarred, possibly by 'battles' the hymn spoke of, aaand Easter-egg he has sunday's old halo :) i suspect he could be the bloodhounds' head, Maeven Ellis is right beside him btw

out of all the hymn has talked abt, in our silly theory, ALL of them are halovians who have wings. i read in wiki that halovians have wings in their biology but idk where that info came from...there isnt a single halovian npc who got wings.

"every Halovian in Penacony is a member of the family" gopher looks like an older priest, his postion could totally be of a head.

now this is spoilery (imo doesn't make much difference), even tho it was leaked to be in 2.0 loading screen but i didnt find it, so i went to great lengths to get it from reddit! It might be a scratched idea tho, I'll only put the most important parts :

Edit: nvm it's called the harmonic strings phenomenon, found in wiki and database :x

"Family members have adopted a system of differentiation based on scales, with only those above the subdominant "IV" note being eligible to serve as the tuner of the Harmonic Strings. "

"The concept of Harmonic Strings is elucidated in the Harmony Hymns, a compilation of divine embodiments attributed to Xipe. These embodiments portray down-to-earth virtues that contribute to Harmony and can be practiced by individuals regardless of their position."

"The Family takes pride in celebrating the beauty of the Thousand Faces, including figures such as Aelenev of the Eternal Centurion, Dominicus of the Harmonious Choir, Constantina of the Panacoustic Theater, and Beatriz of the Blissful Ball."

"Opposers of the Harmony argue that the Harmonic Strings are in fact Emanators from Xipe themselves, not associated with any specific mortal but rather representing facets of Xipe, who can assume the form of any Family member when necessary."

Lots of yapping I know. Basically the ones eligible to welcome xipe in a ritual called harmonic strings are tuners of rank IV. We already know that at least 2 are emenators and the others should be too.

Also Aelenev of the eternal centurion, a Centurion being a soldier in the Roman army responsible for the command of one hundred men. A description fitting of the bloodhound head. The harmonic choir could refer to the oak family, and so on

But here where the contradiction happens, in oti's letter to Sunday

also if all halovians with wings are emenators/ facet of xipe, then sunday and robin had them as children..?

i could argue that the dreammaster chooses for xipe who he sees fit to be an emenator, and under his guidance they become a harmony symbol. robin for the outside world and im sure sunday was adopted for the same cause as bronya rand, to become the future head of the oak family.

now on dominicus arrival...this letter and the hymn are slightly contradictory...and the map text is too. if dominicus is a facet of xipe, why do they and the 3 others have to welcome xipe ? isnt the descent of the 4 of them considered complete in it's self? xipe is a plural aeon, if part of them descends it should still be an aeon. but the hymn insinuates that the 4 facets serve xipe. also the connection between sunday and robin to them is solid.

aight, we know who the harmonic strings are from the map text, it makes sense to think of them as the ones i theorized them to be, except from robin they're all directly influential on penacony. aand now oti's letter makes less sense. we can argue that each one of them derives power from a facet, maybe even becoming vessels to them or represent them. and these facets need to descend (arrive) for the charmony festival to reach it's conclusion, being xipe's descendance.

also reminder

(he means xipe by their)

uuuhuh sweetie, u gotta leave the house as dominicus tho!

#unrelated but aven ofc sunday has a miniature golden hour in the pavilion they're trying to expand it and create more dreamscapes... #like it's the family HQ?? #also i have a confession- #even insinuated from oti's letter...i cant take sunday that srsly he feels young to be the the coordinator of all the families lol #yes he did prove himself in 2.1 but i CANT ITS JUST xD #proud of pookie tho #and lets stop pretending he died non of them are #honkai star rail #star rail #hsr sunday #hsr #hsr theory

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

HOPPING ON HERE AGAIN FOR ANOTHER SUPER LONG THEORY POST BOYSSSSS

Hello THOAM people! How are you all doing today? Good? Great? Did you just have one of the best days in your entire life and you are certain that nothing could possibly ruin it for you now??

WELL YOU ARE WRONG. /j I AM HERE TO RUIN IT ALL.

that is very much a joke I’m sorry I’m very high on adrenaline right now becAUSE THE NEW COVERS FOR ISSUE 9 JUST DROPPED AS I’M WRITING THIS OUT AND I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT AND I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. So why don’t I just cut the dilly-dallying and get right on with it?

———

So, first thing I wanna mention is Sonic’s current state and his relationship status. (You may take that as out of context as you want lol) Sonic is currently in an internal state of panic mixed in with exhaustion. MAJOR exhaustion! Bro had to rush to Omega’s aid right after fighting Shadow in a cave full of ice. If that’s not draining as heck then I have no idea what isn’t. And on top of all that, he not only almost killed Omega, but he also knows now that his friends have known what was going on with him for a while! Probably ever since the scene where him, Tails, and Knuckles went out for breakfast and he passed out at the table. (I can’t remember which issue that was atm. I think issue 3…?) In short, Sonic is experiencing a whole rollercoaster of emotions right now, and he isn’t even awake yet! As soon as he wakes up I theorize he’s gonna be asking everyone a lot of questions, and will then ask for elaborations on top of all the answers he receives! I also don’t think he will be as trusting of others anymore, since his friends all knew of his biggest kept secret for a long while now and nobody said or did anything about it!

Now combine that with the guilt he must feel for Omega… The last thing Sonic witnessed before passing out was him going on a rampage and almost killing the robot. He must not feel great about that…! 🫢 And his relationship with Team Dark will be relatively strained as well. I mean, aside from Rouge probably. She loves Omega, but knows the context behind the situation and doesn’t blame Sonic much for what happened, so I think she won’t change much around the Blue Blur. Though his relationship with Shadow was already strained before all that, so… Yeah.

ALRIGHT TIME TO TALK ABOUT CHIP WOOHOOOOOOOO

We all know now that Chip has finally experienced what I’m calling, “✨God Puberty✨”

(Imagine there are pretty pink sparkles floating around the name. Kinda like the classic “You’re watching Disney Channel” thing)

This ✨God Puberty✨ has essentially opened Chip’s eyes, and changes the game completely! Now we not only have a god on our side but also a god who has context! I believe Chip will try and guide Dark Gaia back to its sleeping state to restore balance like they usually do, as explained in the comic, but the attempt will backfire seeing as Dark Gaia was awoken prematurely by Dr. Eggman. (More on him in a second) Chip will keep trying, because they’re a big floofy funny god that just wants food and just went through ✨God Puberty✨ so they’ll naturally wanna keep this going at a peaceful rate. Because despite all of his power, Chip is still Chip. Just a smol bitty guy who wants ice cream. With the addition of being a god. Sonic will then of course have to step in, leading to him getting his Gaia energy taken away and him being free of this curse, and then the events of the game finale play out as normal. Probably. It’s getting late now and I’m getting tired so my brain energy is wavering so idk exactly if that’s what will happen but it’s some food for thought I suppose.

NOW WE CAN FINALLY TALK ABOUT EGGMAN OH MY GOSH YES LET’S TALK ABOUT THE PATHETIC EGG-SHAPED SCIENTIST THAT WE CALL A MAN MADE OUT OF EGGS

To keep this short and simple, I’ll discuss Eggman within the context we have based solely on the new covers alone. Meaning the only speculation I’ll be doing is based off of those and the last few times we’ve seen the guy in the comic. Which actually was… A long time ago, actually. If I’m remembering correctly, that is. I could be wrong. ANYWHIZZLE LEMME STOP JABBERING AND LET’S GET ON WITH THE THEORIZING-

So the first cover shows a new, most likely final form of Sonic’s, encasing Eggman in a cracked eggshell while using his claws. Or more specifically, there is Eggman, acting as an egg yolk, sitting in a puddle of egg whites with the shell on each side of him, while Sonic’s Gaia claws slowly close in on him in the back. Sonic is staring at him menacingly, his anger and frustration reaching a boiling point due to all the stress he’s most likely experiencing combined with the Dark Gaia energy within him. This cover makes me assume that this issue is gonna act as the final battle against Eggman, a final “Screw you!” To the fat man in red. Obviously, Eggy ain’t going down without a fight, as shown in the next cover, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

The first cover suggests that Eggman is gonna be the main role of the issue, and that he’s gonna get his ass kicked. Sonic is gonna confront him, fully transform into his final Werehog form due to anger and stress, and we’ll then move onto the next issue probably. Again, I’m getting tired so this theory is getting pretty sloppy.

Now onto cover numero dos! I love this cover honestly, and it’s literally only because Knuckles and Tails are seen defending a transforming Sonic from Eggman. They are literally using themselves as like. A meat shield. Normally I’d be like “Oh no what happened????” But right now all I can think is “Omg ✨Brothers✨ 🤩”

———

AGAIN IM GETTING VERY TIRED NOW SO I WILL UNFORTUNATELY END THIS HERE AND WILL NOW GO BRUSH MY TEETH BUT HOPEFULLY I WILL REMEMBER TO COME BACK AND ELABORATE TOMORROW IF I HAVE THE TIME. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, IT MEANS A TON THAT YOU TOOK THE TIME OUT OF THE DAY TO DO THAT.

oki ima go sleeb now thank you bai

The art for the covers was great btw I just wanted to let you know it’s absolutely wonderful I could look at it all day

you're gonna love what's gonna happent his issue, i can tell!!!!!!

only um. i think you were wayyy too tired so you confused sonic with metal sonic. either that ur ur just very polite to metals insistance that he is the real sonic.

#fan lore #clover-the-awesomest #long post #text heavy #fan theories

[haowrld]

cookie brownies — junhui x gn!reader

notes : fluff, one-sided crush, reader can’t cook, reader has a cat, ft.mingyu, profanity, confessions

an : aaa idk how i got 1000 words on this like wtf. anyway here's a jun story!! it's kinda rushed 😭 bcs i wanted to write smtg for his birthday (happy birthday junhui!!! 🐈 )

masterlist

“i wish i could help yn, but i’ve got some projects that i’m working on.” mingyu, who you are on a video call with, sighs as he lays down on his bed. “cookies or not, you don’t have to do something you’re not good at if you don’t want to.” mingyu said, “i know jun would still like whatever you make any day” he grinned.

you look at mingyu pouting, “but i want to make these cookies! it’s my way of telling him that i like him” you smile “i mean, if you want these cookies to be exactly what jun wants, just call up anyone who could cook, like shua, or dokyeom?” he suggested, “maybe even wonwoo could help you clean up with all the mess you made behind there.”.

you look behind your kitchen, flour has been spread to your kitchen as its box was left empty, and chocolate chips and milk has been spilled. there is a tray of cookies that were burnt. your cat jumps on the counter, sniffing at the mess that you have made as it looks at you disappointingly.

“i think i’ll be fine mingyu!” you said, looking over the oven, as you hear the beeping noise of the cookies that are done baking, you smell something burning. oh shit, “actually, nevermind! please call someone mingyu, please!” you immediately hang up on mingyu as you open the oven door, burnt cookies, again, your cat hisses at the smell as it jumps off the counter.

“ugh, another failed attempt…” you sigh putting all the burnt cookies in a plastic seal, at least you’ve got something to eat. picking up your phone, and you stare at your wallpaper; it was you and junhui taking a goofy picture at a photobooth together. you smile at the sight of jun making a weird face, he’s so adorable.

you thought about that moment on your phone, it was another day of hanging out with jun, though you felt something different with jun, you found him a little more prettier these days, and every little kind gesture and weird trinkets he give because he thinks you would like them, gosh, it was annoying your head, but you couldn’t help it, you had a crush on jun.

you shake the moment off your head and look at the mess that you have made. “you can do this, you can make the best cookies junnie has ever-“ you hear a knock on the door. “j-jun? what are you doing here!?” you open the door to find your pretty best friend holding a box of brownie mix, he lets himself in, your cat immediately goes to junhui, making him smile as he pets your cat.

getting up and setting the brownie mix near a table, he hugs you, letting you go, he gives you a sweet smile “hey, mingyu asked me to help you, he said it was about baking and i thought about your favorites, brownies!”. he smiles as he walks to the kitchen. your heart can’t take another one of his sweet gestures.

“well, let’s get started now!” jun said as he takes the box of brownie mix and holds your hand, your eyes widen as he looks at you with the cutest smile that you have ever seen as both of you go to the kitchen. “we’re making chocolate chip cookie brownies!”

“i honestly don’t know how we were able to clean up this easily..” you look at your now clean kitchen, surprised at how it used to be garbage for wasted ingredients a moment ago. thanks to jun and a little bit of elbow grease, you guys were able to begin making brownie cookies.

“let’s start with the ingredients, eggs, oil, and water” you help him take out some fresh carton of eggs, vegetable oil, and a cup of water. “great, now we just need some bowl and a whisk” he looks around the cupboard and brings out some extra ingredients plus two bowls, and an electric whisk.

“okay, where do we start first?” tapping on table, jun takes out the brownie mix and gives it to you, “i think you could start out something simple, this has some instructions…” jun turns the box and points the instructions, leaning close so that you’ll be able to know what he’s talking about. you shift awkwardly, moving away. “yep i think i get what you mean!” you smile, turning away as you look at the ingredients, you were screaming inside. he was so close!! holy shit, junnie is just so ahh!!! stay calm yn, you thought to yourself, cracking open an egg, just distract yourself and we will be able to finish these brownies!! wait no! don’t look at jun!

you slowly look at jun, who was already mixing the ingredients with the electric whisk, gosh! he’s pretty!! why did you look yn!? he’s so ughh! he turns to you and turns off the electric whisk, “need help? seems you’ve already got most of the ingredients right.” he takes the bowl and pours it on the greased pan.

“okay, now we just need to put the cookie dough in.” jun takes the cookie dough and places pieces of it on the brownie batter. you look at junhui as he was placing the pan in the oven. you thought about your burnt cookies, maybe jun would like it…? you decide that it wouldn’t hurt to try, maybe jun might like whatever you make.

“hey uh jun?” you tap on jun’s shoulder as he looks at you “yeah? what’s up?” jun asks “about the mess i made in the kitchen…?” you begin, “those burnt cookies,” jun tilts his head curiously, as you open your fridge to show the sealed burnt cookies to him, he looks at the cookies, then at you and smiles. “you made cookies for me?” he takes the bag and opens the seal, “i know it’s not good looking…but i wanted to make these for you because..” jun takes a bite of the cookie and the way he smiles at the taste, it didn’t matter if they were burnt, you made them for him and…

“i like you junhui!” the sounds of the oven indicated that the cookie brownies were done, but there was also another sound that jun had heard, his heartbeat. “yn..” he smiles before hugging you.

…it made him love you even more.

#🍙﹕written by mellow #jun x reader #jun x y/n #jun x you #junhui fic #seventeen junhui #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen fics #seventeen fluff #seventeen au #junhui fluff #junhui x reader #junhui x you #junhui x y/n #svt fanfic

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

[NSFW] Oviposition saiou prompt

Hina: You could make a bubble guppies saiou au Me: Make it oviposition or get out of here Bunny: just make a normal mer au hina Hina: Excuse me. What? Me: I said Make it oviposition or get out of here, mer sex or go to the normal ⁠au-corner [because it was in a nsfw channel]

Hina: Monokuma the orange fish Bunny: MR GROUPER DESERVES BETTER monokuma is grumpfish /j

Hina: Why oviposition Me: Seahorses, hell, one of them can even be a seahorse prince if you want, think about it But actually just because I like it [red evil smiley emoji] Bunny: really catering to hina's interests huh [Hina's thing with horse prince is Pit lore, sorry]

Bunny: i rlly enjoy ovi/eggpreg stuff which is VERY funny since normal pregnancy is. one of my biggest squicks, so are saiou childhood friends AND eggpreg bc then we can slide in some 'if you don't get married by-' Me: I don't know the cartoon, I just want the egg laying action Bunny: i go for interspecies ovi usually but they can both be mer this time. as a treat Hina: I'm down for anything childhood friends [but we had to explain ovi to him]

Bunny: chasing each other thru the seaweed a mating chase/capture could be fun, as a throwback to their childhood games,, Me: That's so cute Bunny: it is!! they're giggling the whole way through kokichi teases him abt it because shuuichi always lost their childhood races (he will win this time) whether it was something along the lines of hysterical strength or kokichi let him the world will never know Hina: WHY IS THE HE WILL WIN SO THREATENING Bunny: BECAUSE HE'S GONNA TACKLE KOKICHI INTO THE MUD AND FILL HIM WITH EGGS, HINA Hina: EXCUSE ME??? Bunny: WHAT TJE FUCK DID YOU THINK MATING CHASE/CAPTURE MEANT Hina: I wasn't paying attention to that part I was just like. "Oh chase sounds fun" Wait so loser gets egged? Bunny: yes, hina what a way to phrase it

Hina: Also isn't that like. A shitton of eggs Me: Not the craziest amount of eggs in the nature world But yeah, it can be lowered for the mers, they evolved past the high infant mortality biological precautions Hina: Also how big are these eggs Like relative to a human Bunny: i was thinking about kokichi getting an ovipositor as thick as his arm stuffed in him ok big eggs because i want to make kokichi cry Me: Tiny, Okay, sure Hina: Where are these eggs going Bunny: his womb??? where else would they go… Hina: He has a womb??? Bunny: both of them do MER HAVE DICK/OVIPOSITOR AND VULVA, AS WELL AS ALL OF THE INTERNAL MECHANICS THAT IMPLIES Hina: Where do they go do they just. Sit in there. Bunny: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SIT IN THERE DID YOU EXPECT THEM TO DO A LITTLE DANCE Hina: WHAT DO THE EGGS DO Like do they have to lay the eggs? Or are they just. Eggs for the sake of eggs and get dissolved like human eggs do? Bunny: are blanks (like unfertilized chicken eggs) just for sex purposes? hatch inside leading to live birth? get laid and THEN hatch? eat each other like shark pups??? lots of options Kai: THEY INCUBATE IN THE FATHER AND HATCH AND HE PUSHES THEM OUT HINA Hina: WAIT SO THEY HATCH INSIDE???? Bunny: there's plenty of real fish that do that, hina Dra: Yea the dads just pops the babies out Hina some fish give birth fun fact Hina: IM QUITE LITERALLY ALLERVIX TO EGGS I HAVE AN EGG ALLERGY Okay [Bunny] just explain the AU I'll Google it

Bunny: WHICH ONE Hina: CHILDHOOD FRIENDS MERMAIDS WITH A SIDE OF OVIPOSIFION YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT MARRIAGE Bunny: saiou are best friends as children. both of them are disliked by almost everyone and find a safe haven in each other, eventually promising to mate each other by age [idk] if no one else will. Shenanigans Proceed, they have a better pod and found family now but the joke promise remains,, kokichi brings it up when it's time as a funny haha because obviously shuuichi wouldn;t want HIM and shuuichi misinterprets and thinks kokichi is making fun of the concept of wanting HIM, cue third act breakdown and resolution. Me: Wtf Why would you add angst to it Bunny: that's not angst it's hurt/comfort they're fine being raised in a pod that hated them both led to some self esteem issues but they find love in each other and their new friends and family they have a mating run/chase through the seaweed and shuuichi wins, pinning kokichi down and filling him tf up. the end i like emotions in my egg porn what can i say im stealing from pregame hcs and saying baby shuuichi is just, WAY too into poison for everyone's comfort, to be supportive, kokichi keeps asking him to '''poison his enemies''' he will not

Me: How do they actually resolve the conflict and get together tho? Bunny: idk they have a conversation about it maybe one of them is packing to dramatically leave and the other one accidentally spills the beans on their pining we never decided if they actually have babies huh Hina: No that's why I was confused Is there a reason they need to mate Is it a for life thing? Bunny: generally i assume yeah? Hina: Okay so it's kinda just because? If they wanted theh could be unmarried? Bunny: i..guess?? hina it's porn Me: Ofc they have babies, if they didn't want babies then they should have yeeted the eggs

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #kokichi oma #saiouma #oumasai #made by me #writing prompt #writing inspiration #ovipositor

[hyperfiiixate]

the greasers and their favourite the garden songs because they are some of my interests and i will talk about them in conjunction with each other !!!!!

(and you will have to deal with that)

dallas: he would love all the scream-y songs, especially since he would probably walk around with a speaker blasting them just to piss people off.

songs such as:

- hit eject

- please fuck off

- sneaky devil

- vexation

- kiss my super bowl ring

- what else could i be but a jester

- grass

- lowrider slug

- a struggle

- at the campfire

- devour

- all smiles over here :)

- a fools expedition

- interrupt

- have a good day sir

- horseshit on route 66

- orange county punk rock legend

- the king of cutting corners

- call the dogs out

- puerta de limosina

- OC93

- literally just the entire kmsbr album

yeah u get the gist. (i have thought so much about dallas’ favourite the garden songs because he is just ??? so ???? the garden ?????? like if he were a teenager in 2024 he would love the garden. rip dallas winston you would have loved the garden) (he would also love their side projects turkey and penalty kill)

ponyboy: he likes to go digging on youtube, band camp and soundcloud for all of their songs that aren’t on spotify and also search for any vada vada lost media. loves a lot of their earlier stuff. has to listen to the garden with headphones because they’re too annoying for darry (😞). idk these songs have his vibe:

- no destination

- a message for myself

- make yer mark

- everything is perfect

- express - sector 28

- circles

- the life and times of a paperclip

- life as a hanger

- what we are

- together we are great

- freight yard

(i didnt rlly think about ponyboys favourites and i havent listened to all of their unreleased stuff YET so when i get around to that i will definitely edit this post with more for ponyboy)

johnny: doesn’t rlly listen to the garden but has picked up a few songs that he likes because he listens with dally or ponyboy (there will be very few songs here sorry !! i feel like he would love their solo projects more (enjoy + puzzle) because sonically they have his vibe. especially enjoy) (i will probably make a post about their favourite enjoy + puzzle songs) anyway here:

- egg (his all time favourite the garden song ever)

- make this a challenge - we like you

- the apple

- birds nest

- chainsaw the door

- fix

- aunt j

- gumdrops

- i’ll stop by tomorrow night

- crystal clear

yeah !!!! he doesn’t listen to them a whole lot but when he does with dally or pb he makes sure to queue these songs. tbh he would be an avid enjoy listener with a bit of puzzle sprinkled in too. he doesn’t use spotify that often and just listens to his liked songs on shuffle play

two bit: I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!!! he loves all the goofy sounding ones with random ass sound effects that just pop up unexpectedly. loves the songs that have the biggest clown vibes and will listen to the garden with soda and steve at the dx. also tried (and failed) to get marcia to listen to the garden. anyway his faves:

- call this # now

- play your cards right

- california here we go

- u want the scoop?

- clay

- all access

- :(

- shameless shadow

- banana peel

- stylish spit

- good news

- thy mission

- haunted house on zillow

- at the campfire

- make a wish

- stallion

- the whole mmsyc album

- haha

- red green yellow

- i guess we’ll never know

- everything has a face

- what else could i be but a jester

yeah. loves himself a good goofy sound effect or two (or more). his taste scares darry a bit (he doesn’t see the appeal for the garden (tasteless)) and he definitely blasts these with dallas to annoy people

sodapop: he likes all the songs that got popular on tiktok lets be honest here, but he’s just a casual listener like johnny, and will sometimes pick up songs from ponyboy or twobit that he likes. mainly listens to the garden when repairing cars at the dx because they make “good car repairing music” (whatever that means). his favourites:

- this could build us a home

- call this # now

- california here we go

- clay

- chainsaw the door

- haha

- freight yard

- thy mission

- horseshit on route 66

- shameless shadow

yeah just likes the popular stuff, he never rlly got into the garden

steve: just likes the same songs soda likes because he too never rlly got too into the garden and those are the songs he’s only rlly listened to. makes fun of ponyboy for nerding out about finding all the obscure songs at any chance he can get (sorry steve)

ALTHOUGH he does have one song that is unique from sodapop’s taste:

- OC93

that’s it. that’s steve’s favourite the garden song that is unique form soda’s favourites and tbh he’s so valid for that

darry: “i can’t listen to that right now i have a headache, turn it off!!” would rather eat rocks than listen to the garden because they annoy him too much. made it a rule that ponyboy and soda could only listen to the garden when he’s out of the house or they are out of earshot from him. HOWEVER !!!! he likes one of their songs!! he can tolerate one song!!!!

- california here we go

YAY!!!! he has taste we must admit, but also his entire music taste would just be either classical music, old soft rock songs or rain sounds.

yeah thanks for reading if u did sorry i needed to ramble about this desperately AGAGDHSJA

#the garden #vada vada #wyatt shears #fletcher shears #the outsiders #dallas winston #dally winston #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #two bit matthews #sodapop curtis #steve randle #darry curtis #is this too niche #s.e hinton #the 80s #80s movies #niche interests #the outsiders ponyboy #the outsiders dallas #the outsiders johnny #the outsiders two bit #the outsiders sodapop #the outsiders steve #the outsiders darry

[goldenbituin]

Professor Egghead's Snow Day (Fanmade Creepypasta)

A new episode of the beloved show The Adventures of Professor Egghead has been discovered in the depths of the Internet! What zany hijinks will our favorite scientist encounter today???

Based on the Professor Egghead stories by Mike J. Langer

Narrator uses feminine pronouns idk

⚠ TW: violence, gore, blood, horror, murder

The past few months have been dragging along. I’ve been working day in and day out to make ends meet, helping out my family in the morning and getting my stuff done around the grocery store at night. Anything to keep my body moving and the cash flowing, I say to myself. All this leaves me almost no time to relax and renew my mind for the next day. The only thing I have the energy to do when I get back home is to surf the web. 

I tend to gravitate towards the creepy and disturbing; who doesn’t like a little scare once in a while? All those hours cleaning the house sometimes made way for learning about obscure true crime or cursed video game secrets. One night I was on my laptop, scrolling through a list of supposed “Disturbing Things Found on the Internet”. Most of the articles had edgy and spooky names that I didn’t pay much attention to. That is, until I came across something that stood out like a sore thumb. 

Professor Egghead’s Snow Day. Was that a cartoon of some sort? I clicked on the link that would lead me to it, but instead got a notification saying “Download complete: professor_eggheads_snow_day.mp4”

“Are you kidding me…” I sighed at the thought of this being malware that I unknowingly received. In response, I ran it through a quick antivirus scan, which came back with no issues. To me this was a sign that I should go ahead and watch the file, so I opened it in a video player. That decision was something I’d come to regret for a long time.

—

The scene opened to a beautiful view of a snow-covered park. A staticky filter gave me the impression this show must be from the 2000s, but as it didn’t even give an intro, I could be wrong. I could hear children laughing, dogs barking, and people chattering far and wide in the open space. Couples held hands as they walked down the paved sidewalks, and some people were building snowmen. This could be a Christmas special for all I know.

Just then I heard something unusual. Like the crescendo of an approaching rainfall. Strange, I thought. The sky is blue with not a cloud in sight. However, the more I listened, the more I realized it wasn’t rainfall, but applause. As the clapping grew louder, the people in view moved slower and slower, and their bright faces melted into blankness.

The uproar hit its peak as the main character walked in. A short, stout man in a brown wool coat and red scarf walked into the scene. The shape of his body reflected as a shadow on the stark white ground, giving the impression of an egg on legs. Only a tuft of black hair adorned his head, and between his small ears was a wide, frog-like mouth. His eyes, although bloodshot and droopy, pierced like daggers at whoever dared to look his way. The cast felt rather unnerved by his sudden introduction, but he paid no mind.

“I AM PROFESSOR EGGHEAD!” he announced suddenly. “MASTER OF ALL THE SCIENCES! EXPLORER OF EVERYTHING IN THIS NATURAL WORLD!” He shot up his gloved pointer finger as he made his speech, causing some people to flinch. His voice is not what I expected from someone of his appearance. It was loud and shrill, almost like a man doing an impression of an old lady, but with five times the force put into each syllable.

“TODAY I TAKE A BRIEF RESPITE FROM MY NEVER-ENDING STUDY, " he continued. “FROM MY SLEEPLESS, JOYLESS DAYS OF PURSUING ENLIGHTENMENT. MY PASSION REMAINS STRONG BUT MY SOUL CALLS OUT FOR A RELEASE FROM THE CONSTRAINTS OF RESEARCH,”

Wow, I thought, he just needs a break, kinda like me I guess. 

“THIS FRIGID WEATHER BECKONS ME TO VENTURE OUTSIDE AND OBSERVE THE COMMON FOLK. I HAVE COME TO JOIN IN THEIR SEASONAL REVELRY!” he threw his arms wide, as if making an exciting announcement. 

“YOU AND YOUR SNOW ANGLES, SNOW SLEDDING, AND MOST NOTABLY, SNOW FIGHTING. HOW YOUR GAMES OF ICE AND FROST INTRIGUE ME! I SHALL TAKE PART AT ONCE!” He took something out of his pocket, but it was hard to tell what it was exactly. Then he crouched down and gathered a handful of snow, patting it into a ball. “WHOEVER WANTS TO PROVE THEMSELVES WORTHY OF CHALLENGING THE GREAT PROFESSOR, HAVE AT YOU!!” He turned to a couple standing near a snowman they put together, winded his arm back like a baseball pitcher, and threw his snowball as hard as he could at them. 

It hit the man in the mouth, causing him to cry out in pain. He doubled over, covering his face while his girlfriend braced onto him, trying to provide support. The camera zoomed in on him, revealing a bloodied face and a broken tooth. The man shakily picked up the snowball and dusted off the snow, and the camera zoomed in closer to show that there was a rock underneath. Laughter poured in from an unseen audience. I was taken aback, did that professor guy really have to do that?

The injured man tried his best to chuckle. “P-Professor Egghead… that’s not how you have a snowball fight.” The laugh track played once more at his attempt to quell the situation.

Professor Egghead looked indignant. “YOU DARE TELL ME HOW TO PLAY MY GAME? YOU DARE TELL ME HOW TO SPEND MY DAY OFF? IF YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT PROFESSOR EGGHEAD, IT IS THAT HE DOES NOT GO EASY! HE NEVER HAS!” He stomped his foot into the snow. “IF I WANT A CHALLENGE, I WILL HAVE IT! IT IS SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST NOW!”

Out of nowhere, he acquired several more snow-covered rocks and hurled them at the scared couple. The woman tried to hide behind her snowman but the barrage of “snowballs” demolished it at once, leaving her exposed to be impacted as well. The professor did not stop until the two people lay on the snow, staining it red.

This has gotta be special effects, right? I thought to myself. It must be one of those sitcoms with a horror twist. I’m a fan of those, at least, so I kept watching with anticipation and apprehension.

The professor did not stop his attack. He continued to hurl the snowballs indiscriminately, and the people began screaming and running around the park. Some fell over with a crack to the skull, also falling into the snow and painting it red with blood. Even then, the audience roared with laughter and applause. Whatever Egghead’s goal was, they were cheering him on as he laughed at the terrified crowd. 

“COWARDS! FOOLS! LOSERS!” He taunted the fleeing park patrons as he kept tossing his ammo at full force. “YOU ARE TOO SCARED TO CHALLENGE SUCH ABUNDANCE OF WITS AND STRENGTH! YOU WILL NEVER BE AS GREAT AS ME! NEVER! NEVER!” He kept chanting that last word like a mantra every time he threw a new snowball. That was when his gaze snapped towards the camera, causing me to jump.

“NEVERRRRRRRR!!!!” He reeled back once more and threw a snowball at the camera, shattering its lens and causing the cameraman behind it to fall over. The view pointed at the clear blue sky, interrupted by a trickle of red blood sliding down the side.

I closed the video player. That was enough of the funny egg man for me. I sat at my desk for a few minutes, my head bowed and my mind trying to process what just went down. I’ve had this reaction to many weird and disturbing videos on YouTube before, but this was just… indescribable. How did this even get aired? How many people saw this on live television?

I spent the last hour before bed drawing in my sketchbook instead. At first it started out as various doodles and sketches, but thoughts of the egg-shaped man began taking over. I drew a goofy cartoon of him, with various poses and expressions, and eventually drew myself hurling snowballs at him as he ran away crying. I gave a sly chuckle. Who did that guy think he was? I could beat him at a snowball fight any time. After a few more minutes of drawing I fell asleep without a care in the world.

—

The next day was as occupied as any other. I was back in the grocery store, trying to retrieve a box high upon a shelf in the freezer. How they expect a short woman like me to be able to access those heights is beyond me, but there were tasks to be done and I wasted no time. Growing more frustrated, I tried climbing the lower shelves and reaching out with one arm to get the box. One rule I missed about these freezers: there’s a chance surfaces may be slippery. This oversight caused me to slip off a platform, and I fell backwards off the shelves. My head first hit a box stacked on a cart, toppling it over and spilling its contents. Then it hit the concrete floor with a loud thud.

……

……

……

……

I stood in a snowy field, lined with benches and frosted pine trees. No longer did I wear my work shirt and hat, but instead donned a long black winter coat, my hand-crocheted scarf, and winter boots. My breathing turned deep and steady as I took in my new surroundings. The people walking by me were familiar; they looked just like the passerby in the show I watched last night. My heart sank lower with each new thing I noticed.

Before I could get too deep into my thoughts, the audience made their presence known with applause. An applause that would introduce Professor Egghead, who sauntered his way across the park. He’s… real? Or… am I… where am I? Am I actually in the show? My chest felt heavier with each question that ran through my head.

“I AM PROFESSOR EGGHEAD! I HAVE COME TO JOIN YOUR MERRYMAKING IN THE ICE!” He tossed a snowball in his hand, causing me to shudder. “WHO WILL BE THE FIRST TO RECEIVE MY INVITATION?”

His eyes fixated on the same couple he mercilessly tore down in the episode. “HOW ABOUT YOU TWO?” He hurled one projectile after another until he managed to knock both of them out cold. That was much quicker than what I remember, but it gave me another reason to fear what he would do next.

“HMPH, THEY COULD NOT HANDLE THE IMMENSE POWER OF THE PROFESSOR, I SEE.” He let out a disappointed sigh and kept looking around. With each turn the people hid their faces away, refusing to meet his gaze. Soon enough, he zeroed in on me. I was confused at first, but I looked down and to my horror, I was also holding a handful of snow.

“YOU, MADAM! ARE YOU CHALLENGING ME TO A DUEL OF SNOW?” He shot out his finger at me, and I began shaking in my boots. 

“N… no…” I always felt scared when singled out like that, but this man, this mad scientist, really made me feel small and helpless without even trying.

“ARE YOU TURNING DOWN MY INVITATION TO DUEL? IS THAT HOW IT WILL BE?” His ragged face turned red with anger at my rejection. “I TAKE PRECIOUS TIME OUT OF MY DAY, AWAY FROM MY LABORATORY AND MY QUEST TO BENEFIT HUMANITY, AND THIS IS HOW I’M REPAID? YOU WILL ENTERTAIN ME WITH A PROPER FIGHT! YOU WILL NOT BACK DOWN! YOU WILL NOT KEEP WASTING MY HOURS ON THIS EARTH!”

I glanced around and saw the equally terrified people looking at me. They seemed shocked that I actually denied the egghead what he wants: a new victim to torment.

“NOW,” he bellowed. “LET THE GAME OF SNOW THROWING BEGIN.” He marched his way towards me, and without a second thought I dropped my snowball and ran the other direction. Underneath the pounding of my heart, I could hear the booing of a disappointed crowd. Not long after, that booing was overpowered by the rapid pitter-patter of feet in the snow.

“DO NOT RUN FROM ME!” He called out from far behind. “I DEMAND A FIGHT, AND I WILL GET IT!” I kept on my mad dash across the park, desperate to avoid him. If anyone was watching this like I did on my laptop, it would be less of a comedy skit and more of a harrowing chase scene. It was only when I couldn’t hear him running anymore that I stopped and leaned against a tree. Between my heaving and gasping for air I choked out a few sobs. Why was this happening?

My thoughts were interrupted by a sharp pain at the back of my head. He was right behind me, managing to get the first hit. “THIS IS SO WONDERFUL, OH SO WONDERFUL!” He laughed as he continued throwing rocks at me. “USING THE POWER OF MOMENTUM AND VELOCITY IN REAL TIME! MEASURING HOW MANY PROJECTILES THESE FEEBLE TARGETS CAN HANDLE! I’M HAVING FUN! SO MUCH FUN!” He danced in his place, hyper and overjoyed by the new world that has opened up to him. It was a world of science and amusement rolled into one for him, but pain and suffering for everyone else. I sucked in my breath and kept running, not waiting for him to do the same.

This went on for another five awful minutes, with me running for my life in a twisted, horrible excuse for a sitcom, and Professor Egghead bombarding me, giggling like a mischievous youngster while the invisible crowd laughed along. I tried doing several twists and sharp turns, changing direction like a rabbit trying to confuse its pursuer, but he was just as agile, making the same turns and growing ever so closer. I even jumped over an exposed root in the ground, hoping he would miss it and trip. To my dismay, he lunged over it like an Olympian in an egg body and began catching up. With every moment that passed by I was hit with more and more rocks disguised as snowballs, so hard in fact that I’m sure it must have left some bruises. 

“Someone help me! Please! Anyone!” I screamed out to the rest of the people in the park, and even headed toward some of them. They all jumped or stepped out of my way, their scared looks still painted on their faces. 

“Get this man away from me!” I pleaded once more. “I’m gonna die!!!” Still they avoided me every time. They wanted no part in the professor’s sick idea of a snowball fight, and have collectively decided it would be me who would take the fall for denying him in the first place.

Soon the fatigue caught up to me. I collapsed on my hands and knees, my lungs failing to function and my face burning hot in the cold, sharp air. I closed my eyes as I tried to steady my wild breathing, not knowing or caring that he was right there. With one swift kick to the ribcage I fell onto my side, and with another shove I was sprawled out on my back into the inches of snow under me. I couldn’t feel my arms or legs; I was a toy that had run out of battery, and I lay useless.

Once my vision cleared I finally saw him. The evil professor loomed over me, and with one stubby leg standing on either side of my torso, he had me boxed in. Over his head, he held yet another rock, but it dawned on me that this was no ordinary rock. It was a freaking boulder. He found it necessary to just pick up the biggest thing he could find to finish off the helpless little rabbit he had been chasing, and didn’t even bother to cover it in snow. He didn’t care about putting up his charade, he just wanted to achieve his victory.

“YOU LOST, WEAKLING,” he snickered, his grin growing wide. “NOW YOU WILL PAY THE PRICE.” This was not a show about a grumpy old scientist wanting to have fun in the snow. It was a peek into the antics of a heartless, insane monster who takes pleasure in the fear and agony he causes to everyone around him.

I screamed at the top of my lungs as he sent the boulder crashing down onto my head. The last thing I heard was the sound of my skull getting crushed with a sickening crack and a splatter. 

……

……

……

……

In the cold freezer I could feel a warm pair of hands shaking me awake. The pain immediately rushed into my head, along with some dizziness. I struggled to open my eyes and sit up, finding myself covered in frozen bagels. The manager crouched beside me, and her usually stern expression was replaced with a hint of worry. I had been gone for ten minutes, she told me, and she wanted to check on me after I said I’d start retrieving the frozen pastries. I thanked her for her concern as she helped me on my feet. Stumbling and tripping over myself, she seated me on a chair in the hallway while another coworker opened a first aid kit.

—

I was given some time off to recover after that. When news got to my parents, they understood and let me stay in my room for the day. The pain was strong for hours, and I only had ice packs from the store to counter it. I took the time to get the rest I’ve been longing for, watching comforting videos of cats, and even playing video games when my headache died down. Before I could get to any of that, however, I made it a point to delete “professor_eggheads_snow_day.mp4” from my hard drive immediately. Some time later I opened my sketchbook, and was disgusted to find those doodles of the professor in there. I ripped out these reminders of my hubris and put my book back in my bag, resolving to take a nap instead.

Once I recovered, my days didn’t change much from there. I still worked hard but decided to take in healthier, more positive forms of entertainment. I can’t say the same about my nights. Each night once I go to bed, I feel a sense of dread wash over me. I don’t have dreams very often, but every time I do now, it’s at the park. The same dreadful egg creature, the same frenzied chase, the same gruesome final blow to the head. It’s happened three times already, and I have yet to tell my therapist about it, as the increasing insomnia isn’t good for productivity, let alone overall wellbeing. For now though, every night as I drift off to sleep I wish I didn’t have to, because that always meant the possibility of being taken back to Professor Egghead’s icy little corner of hell, where he will always be waiting, ready to play.

#professor egghead #the adventures of professor egghead #adventures of professor egghead #professor egghead creepypasta #creepypasta #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #horror #tw violence #tw murder #tw gore #tw death

[found-wings]

you ever think that sometimes when code phil has partially egg traits, he'll sometimes perch and listen to his friends talk before getting tired and falling asleep right then and there, and when his friends notice, they realize he fell asleep before the final task can be done and they're all looking like "so. . . who's gonna do it?" and another person (probably tubbo) is like "don't worry guys, I got this >:)" all confident like and then

you whisper to Fit : dude we're so fucked

you whisper to Fit : it's so over man phil passed out

you whisper to Fit : WE STILL NEED THE FINAL TASK

you whisper to Fit : SOS

you whisper to Fit : SOS

you whisper to Fit : SOS

Fit whispers to you : haha L

you whisper to Fit : WAKING HIM UP IS LITERALLY A DEATH SENTENCE

Fit whispers to you : etoiles is right by you just ask him

(rembering his beef with etoiles)

you whisper to Fit : actually. you're a genius

Fit whispers to you : I'll wait for the death messages in chat

(tubbo is going to very quickly realize that etoiles is quite literally the Only person who could wake up phil without Dying besides chayanne, tallulah, niki, and missa on a good day) - 💿

Tubbo forgetting about Phils bias because of his beef with Etoiles real and true / j

Also the idea of Phil just dozing off while the others are around him talking is so RAAAH imagine feeling so safe around the others despite what‘s going on that he can just. fall asleep, trusting the people around him that much even while they’re decently distracted

And on a side note let‘s be honest. Phil probably gets more sleep during his egg arc than he ever has before that ( idk how much it actually makes a difference, but there is a difference alright WHEEZE )

The silly comment of Fit also going to wait for their death messages is so funny to me, this man definitely has had first hand experience at waking Phil up and immediately regretting his decision afterwards AJAJA ( probably on multiple occasions )

Fit noticing the lack of death messages in global chat and going to comment on it, until you have a notification of Tubbo getting repeatedly knocked down by Phil in various ways because he found out about Tubbos intention behind getting someone else to wake him up aksjajja

#i love when a group of sillies is being silly #the sillies in question : terrified of waking up their silly friend in fear of being yoinked slash violence #JAJDJAB #code philza <3 #💿 anon #winged.rambles

[minteaspoon]

“Where are we?”

:)

a/n: back at it again with another hotd au:)

Narnia au (maybe abo idk yet) with the Velaryon boys and Visenya!

Link below is the concept:)

Enjoy!

••••••••

“-ke!”

What?

“W- up!”

What was that?

“Luke!”

My name?

“LUKE WAKE UP!”

The sleeping brunette lets out a large gasp, immediately his hyperventilating body launches upwards into a sitting position, as his shoulders were gripped by strong hands.

“Calm down, Luke, calm down! It’s okay! It’s okay…”

Luke turns his head slightly, his breathing calming down as his eyes gaze upon a similar pair - his brother’s, Jace.

“Hey, you doing okay now?” Jace asks, his palms going to cup his brother’s red cheeks.

His brother nods, and pushes their foreheads together.

“Breath, Luke, breath and copy me, alright? Hold for eight, exhale for five, like mother taught you, yeah?”

Luke does as he’s told. It was an old breathing technique meant to calm him down. His mother taught him to do it whenever he felt anxious or stressed. It came in handy after the incident in Driftmark.

The brothers go quiet, relishing in the moment until they hear rustling beside them. Turning, they see their younger brother, Joffrey, coming out of the green brushes. He was in his clothing reminiscent today sleepwear - which Luke notices was near identical to his and Jace’s own clothing at that moment. And in his hands, he held a girl.

She had the hair of a Targaryen, and scales.

She had dragon scales.

“Is Luke doing okay now? I found a river nearby, and I brought some water in the flask like you told me to Jace!” Joffrey grins proudly, showing the full flask of water to his brothers.

Jace’s face contorts into a small smile, as he gets up to pat Joffrey’s head - “thanks Joff” - before taking the object to hand over to Luke.

“Drink, Luke, you must drink,” he says quietly, crouching in front of his sitting brother. Luke’s eyes never once removed its contact with the scaly girl, cradled in Joffrey’s arms.

“… Who’s she?”

Jace turns to connect his gaze from Luke’s to the girl, before looking back, “… She’s Visenya.”

“What?”

“When I woke up, she was already awake, and she kept telling me over and over how scared she was. I didn’t know who she was, and when I asked for her name, she told me she was Visenya - our sister,” Luke looks at his brother incredulously. There was no way their sister, who was dead at birth, could be this alive and well and obviously sleeping child. Right?

Jace takes note of Luke’s confusion, and goes to move his head to make his brother’s eyes go to his. “I know it sounds… impossible, but it’s true, Luke. She’s scaled, like Visenya was. She has the horns, and the teeth. The white hair, the purple eyes, and dragon scales. There’s no denying it, Luke - She’s our Visenya, our little sister reborn.”

The siblings go quiet, as one attempts to process this new information, and the other two readying themselves for another panic attack. But there was none. Luke had calmed down enough to take into account that Jace’s words might prove true. He was right about most things after all.

“Alright… if she’s Visenya… How is she already near the age of our Egg and Vis?” Jace shakes his head, “I don’t know, all she told me was that it was what the people of this land wanted and needed.”

“What? What do you mean? What land? Where are we?” Luke rambles, shaking before his palms were captured by Jace.

“We’re in Narnia” Joffrey interrupts in a whisper, as the child he cradles stirs and awakens, her purple slitted eyes glazed, before clearing at the sight of an awake Luke. She smiles - to Luke - a scary grin.

“Big brother! You’re awake!”

#jaceluke #jacaerys velaryon #lucerys velaryon #joffrey velaryon #visenya velaryon #or targaryen #chronicles of narnia #narnia au #hotd au #house of the dragon #hbo #yes i have a problem #with house of the dragon #and aus #idk if I can add lucemond here #maybe? #lucemond #i guess #but only I’m able to go deeper into this au #or if anybody wants to adopt this au for a story of their own:D #just link credit and @ me pls:) #i need more luke content

[lablim64]

@weirdsillycreature I swear I can't get jett and Albert out my mind

I start to imagine scenes of them, some funny some sad

But the funny ones are hilarious (the sad ones are mostly all the same-)

Like how they would talk to each other if they had to like

Albert: h-

Jett: fuck off.

Albert: ok-

I feel like Jett would have a "man get the fuck away" moods fr

Like one of the moments I'm imagining is when Albert felt like wanting to talk with Jett (because you know-)

But Jett would be like closing the phone to his face before ever Albert saying anything XD

Like Albert just wanted to ask a number for lim's step dad and sister so they can update him about the therapy but Jett is like "nope, you keep your ass away from my girl and my bro's pap." LMAO

or how one day lim's dad needed a babysitter for lim while him and monster at work and Albert thought it could be a good idea but nope, Jett has like 0 trust on him so it's like "if I have no power to get you away I'll be near you, so you won't go stupid." And babysit lim with him, during that they also might have arguments about who lim prefers/loved the most like

Albert: He starting to love me!

Jett: bitch you suffered him and I saved him from you, he can't love you more than he loves me!

And just go to lim and ask him instead, and lim just there like: . _.?

But they probably end up being lim's favorite babysitters because double the fun XD

Maybe they go like trying to teach lim stuff he never learned before (like cooking or something) but due to them keep challenging each other they just end up messing everything up lol

Jett: did you check if the milk is expired??

Albert: it's not the milk it's the eggs!

Jett: if eggs were expired we would see it when we crack them!

Albert: ok shut up I can't find the oil

Jett: you didn't put the oil yet?!

Albert: HOW CAN I PUT IT IF IDK WHERE IS IT?!?

Jett: YOU SUPPOSED TO PUT IT FIRST DUMASS, HOW YOU BECOME A PCITATIST?!

Albert: YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL THAT SHIT-

Lmao and what lim learned is, know where's the oil is XD

And they probably just end up making PB&J sandwichs and fall asleep on the couch because oh shit, that challenging were a lot

That's all lol

#incredibox #orin ayo #breakthrough #tragibox #incredibox breakthrough #incredibox e.v.a.c.u.a.t.e #incredibox orin ayo #incredibox fanart #incredibox oc #wekiddy

[suiana]

So to give to a little context first. I have a friend whom I met from my old online school. We have a enemies dynamic. We've each other for 2 years now. When we first met I was the one who talked the most, which he used to see as "annoying". Ever since I left the online school and became busy with my new irl school, I started messaging him less and when I do, he acts more and more nicer and chill than before. To the point he stared flirting with me but I always brushed it off as I also flirt with everybody. Did I forget to mention we are the complete opposite of each other. He's extremely introverted online while I'm literally just putting out my phone number for everyone to see. Irl tho I'm introverted and scared of people unlike him who suddenly has the ultimate rizz and getting into fights with other boys.

One time he messaged me while putting on his just as he got out if the shower. Lemme tell you I was dense af back then. He literally asked for shampoo recommendations. I didn't know anything about men's hygiene so I told him to use a flower scented shampoo. He left for 15mins which I thought was because he was drying his hair. No he was running to the store. He asked for which shampoo brand I use. I didn't want him to know that much about me so I said any sakura scented one.

Another time was when we were talking about a game we like and he thought about cosplaying the character I liked and I thought of it as just some teasing between friends and went along with it by saying I prefer the female characters.

I'm always questioning my sexuality so I'm always joking around that I'm gay and I think that's the reason why he hasn't been straight forward.

He started his own irl school last week and a girl kept looking back and forth at him and when he was about to go home she stopped him saying he could always ask her for help about studies and the school.

And again with a different girl but this time is his deskmate. Apparently every single girl he has met had asked him if he has a gf to which he responded with "not ur business" and I already knew something wasn't right at this point because I have seen his face before and he is mid. Sure ig some girls r into tall boys but he's a freaking emo.

And did I tell you about my suspicion about his deskmate not even being a real girl because the Coincidences if them being neighbors and having way too much in common is too suspicious. Did I also mention "her" personality is completely unreal. She says she's "not like the other girls" and HE him out of all people fricking agreed

And his description of her sounds exactly like me. Short wolfcut, gets mistaken as a boy, kinda tall. Even her behavior is like mine, Just randomly zoning out. And the last thing that completely threw me off guard was her grades. She's the Top of the class. I'm literally part of the student council.

But then I wanted to meet her too if she was comfortable with it but y know what he said.

Idk I can

He thinks I might accidentally hurt her feelings. He has known me for nearly 3 years.

And his response to me was

"Didnt mean it but since she has many mental issues and tried to suicide her self because of got bullied and mocked,i just don't want to makes her feel bad and depressed"

I relate to her so now im always telling him to protect her even if her stories might be worse than mine.

But now that I'm rethinking about it

I think he's lying to me

I heard getting advice from random strangers on the internet is better than getting actual help /j

I actually really like him and I don't have the courage to confront him directly about it

There's a very high chance I'm just being delusional and should continue being some wingman

But I don't have any other friends to tell this and I really need to get it off my chest and get other ppls opinions so I hoped I didn't make too many Grammer mistakes

don't worry about making grammar mistakes it's totally ok

u should subtly try to egg him on for answers

like asking what's Ur ideal type, what would u do if u date me, do u think we'll be more than just friends etc

if he hints that he does like u maybe u can shoot your shot lol haha, and don't be disheartened if he rejects u, there's plenty of fish in the sea :3

imo u probably have a good chance of getting that because he probably likes you ++ no guy I've seen would do such things for someone they just call a friend :)

I hope everything goes well for you bae and all the best

#suiana's sinners