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dongfuck · 2 years

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#2 February 14th (Voicemails) - l.dh

pairing: bf/ex!donghyuck x fem reader

genre: angst, fluff (a lot more this time)

warnings: toxic relationship, cheating but not really cheating, verbally fighting, lots of curse words, haechan is a jerk and so are you, they’re both annoying asf, drinking, smoking, reader cries a lot, use of hyuckie (phone contact), kissing (yeah, finally ik), mentions of sex (literally just twice), jisung crying :((, heavy twist of events

wc: 6.2k

note: (NOT PROOFREAD) finally finished this two-part series 😩 thank you all for reading! i hope the ending doesn’t disappoint you all much?? HAHA anyways enjoy <33

taglist: @aedreamzy , @mark-wife-renjun-whore , @ashkuuuu , @subhyuck , @yutaily , @edeljn , @mlee8299 , @minniehyuck , @ffuullssuunn , @cozmaslow , @squishy-pink , @punnshine , @justalonelynctzen , @woofie-nctzen-fanarts-320 , @jenyongcas , @seazznie , @yunnnnnnie , @strawxerrie , @starfulmaeum , @alluringlyxe , @ne0yong , @kpoploverxx-12 , @mahae66 , @youngjaesbabyy

teaser

Part one

songs to listen to while you read: Like Strangers Do - AJ Mitchell, The Only Exception - Paramore, Back 2 U - NCT 127, Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer, Lucky - Jason Mraz, Because I Love You - Yoo Jae Ha, If I Ain’t Got You - Alicia Keys, Read My Mind - The Killers, Traitor - Olivia Rodrigo, Gone - Rosé, Paris in The Rain - Lauv

“so. tell me. what did he do this time.” asked rosé. she had a stern look on her face as she sipped on her coffee.

you chuckled nervously at her behaviour. you wanted to tell her but could you? is it okay to let her know what’s going on in your relationship? i mean you haven’t even told jisung yet, whom you tell everything.

“it’s uh, nothing serious… just small fights, like always.” you smiled reassuringly, but she wasn’t buying it.

“y/n. i know you ever since i started working at that coffee shop. which was like, 4 years ago. i care for you y/n. why’re you still with him anyways?”

it was your turn to take a sip of your drink. “it’s hard rosie… you know how much i love him…” you placed your cup down before sighing dejectedly.

her eyes soften at how miserable you look. you yourself can’t comprehend why you’re still trailing behind haechan. not wanting to leave him even for a second.

rosé reached over and grabbed your hand softly, rubbing small circles on it. “i know. but he’s no good for you y/n,” she retracted her hand. “how many times has he left you whenever the two of you were bickering? when was the last time he ever said ‘i love you’ to you or even gave you a hug?” she questions, trying to prove her point.

“actually…” you scratched the cup that was still in your hold lightly. “most of it is partially my fault, i’m the one who rejects his affection. it’s just… i don’t know— it feels wrong…” looking down at your lap, you slowly bit your lip anxiously.

rosé furrowed her eyebrows at your statement. what exactly do you mean?

“what do you mean? are you… seeing someone else or—”

“seoyeon.” fucking seyeon. it’s always seoyeon.

you lifted your head to meet her eyes when she asked, “seoyeon? who’s that?”

you took a deep breath before blurting out everything you know about her, including her relationship with haechan.

“seoyeon is haechan’s ex. his ex who he loves very much, even up till this day. she has always been dating haechan throughout high school. that was, until i came along. she’s a bit older than me, haechan’s age. me and jisung were new to the school so the only people we talked to were each other, until we started hanging with chenle. you remember him right? the one with the orange hair? yeah. chenle introduced me to haechan and we started talking when i was in my sophomore year. and fast forward a couple years later on his graduation day, he broke up with seoyeon. i don’t know the reason why he did such but a few weeks after the breakup, he asked me out on a date, which i hesitantly agreed to. i didn’t like him back then so i’m not really sure why i said yes. maybe it was because it’s the first time i got asked out? maybe it was because he was the hottest guy there? or maybe it’s simply because of the lust of a teenage girl. we didn’t start dating until two years ago though. you probably know that already.”

the whole time you were talking, rosé was listening intently, finally figuring out that this whole ordeal was because of seoyeon.

“so the cause of this fight was because of seoyeon?”

“something like that.”

you were about to take a bite of your untouched cake but was stopped mid-way when your phone rang from your front pocket.

you curiously drew it out before looking at the caller id. ‘Sungie’ you read as you gulped down the lump in your throat. you tried not to answer the call but what if it was something important? what if he’s in trouble? and with that thought, you cautiously swiped right and placed the phone to your ear.

“hello?” you called out. “y/n, are you okay? i found haechan at a bar, drunk. he told me he’s sorry for what he did to you? i don’t know. i think you should come here.” he insisted.

you weren’t convinced. you promised to yourself that you weren’t going to see his pathetic face ever again so you lied to jisung, something you never do.

“i’m sorry jisung. but i’m quite busy right now. maybe you should just deal with him.” and with that you ended the call and let out a deep breath.

“what’s wrong?” she had her brows furrowed when she asked you. “haechan’s drunk. again.” you sighed audibly.

hearing that, rosé aggressively rolled her eyes and took another long sip of her coffee, coughing most of it out after.

“serves him right. he’s been treating you like shit.” she said between coughs.

you snickered lowly at her but left no response.

“she’s not coming.” jisung sighed as he looked at haechan in pity. “i don’t even know why i’m helping you right now.” he sat down next to the other guy before chugging down a shot.

“thanks anyways.”

“what exactly happened between the two of you, if you don’t mind me asking?” jisung twisted his head to face haechan.

donghyuck groaned after taking his shot, grimacing at the bitter taste. “it’s complicated.” he set the small empty glass down.

“of course it is.” jisung rolled his eyes at the former, although he does understand that it’s none of business.

noticing the lack of response, jisung raised his right arm and rubbed it against haechan’s back soothingly. as if attempting to calm him down. jisung’s always good at this stuff.

after doing so, he heard small sobs coming from the boy next to him, startling him a little.

“haechan hyung are you—”

“don’t touch me.”

jaemin had came over to your place, he probably heard about what happened since he looked devastated when he walked in.

you saw how he’d brought a pink box with him when he arrived but didn’t think much of it.

“hey…” he smiled softly when you sat him down in front of you.

“what’s up…?”

“you probably heard about what happened and uh… i wanted to give you this,” he placed the box he’d carried between the both of you, staring down at his crossed-legs. “it’s a little gift to make you feel better, i figured you must’ve been sad or maybe even angry after you were told about the news.”

you carefully took the box onto your lap and undid the ribbon, slowly peeking at the contents of it—

no way…

you lifted the gift as you stared at him in shock— is this real? why would he give me such present? it wasn’t anything expensive but you’ve always wanted to be gifted something of the sort.

he noticed the way you reacted and reached over behind before scratching his neck. “i’d intended on giving this to you as a casual gift since— i didn’t mean to eavesdrop! but i overheard you talking to haechan ‘bout how you’ve always wanted this, and now i think it’s the right time to give it to you.” he looked everywhere but you.

“thank you, jaem. really. i would hug you right now but that would make things worst so…”

“yeah… um anyways uh i hope you’re doing fine. i actually gotta go, um— er— i’m meeting a friend, so i’ll catch up with you later!” he got up from his crossed-legged position and headed towards the door, looking back at you to wave contently.

“‘course.” you said before he left.

finally, you were alone in the quiet of your room. you were wondering about what you should do while you’re alone but nothing came to mind. you’d clean the house but it’s already clean. you’d cook but you weren’t hungry. you’d read a book but you’ve already read every single one you own. you’d watch a tv show but there isn’t anything interesting to watch. so alas, you settled with just sitting on your favourite sofa and think.

think and think. think about your relationship. think about how much of a mess your life is right now. think about what you’re going to eat for dinner later. just, the basic things.

as you were thinking, there was a sudden ring of your phone, but you couldn’t be arsed to pick it up. all you need right now is to be alone without any disruptions.

you tried to ignore the overly played ringtone coming from your phone but it wouldn’t stop. eventually, you threw your hand to the direction of your phone and picked it up.

“hello?” you said hastily, you felt like completely passing out at the moment.

“y/n? finally—”

“haechan?” you asked, before pulling the phone away from your ear for a second to take a look at the caller id and it was indeed, your boyfriend.

you heard him groan lightly from the other side of the phone before continuing. “yes, it’s me. can we please meet up?” he plead.

god, not this again. you were tired of meeting with people today. for now, you just wanted some time for yourself.

“sorry, hyuck. i’m tired.”

“oh… it’s— it’s fine then. tomorrow?” he insisted.

“whatever.” and with that you ended the call and pressed your back against the cushion, sighing before thinking some more.

you woke up to the sound of your front door opening. is someone breaking in? you thought, but you were too tired to get up so you ended up laying on your bed as you waited for whatever the intruder might do, stupid i know.

it wasn’t until the door knob of your bedroom door that you’re currently staring at twisted that you jolted up in horror. am i going to die tonight?

with wide eyes you stared up at the door, slowly lifting the blanket over your head. when it finally opens, you let out a terrified squeal just to see that it was, you guessed it. donghyuck.

“oh my fucking god! you couldn’t have called or something??” you took a pillow before throwing it over at him furiously.

your heart was still beating really fast even after catching the culprit, which you blame him for.

“i’m sorry! i—i didn’t want to disturb you while you were sleeping!” he defended.

at that, you got up from your sitting position and walked towards him, eyeing him up and down suspiciously.

“how did you know i was sleeping?”

“y/n. it’s freaking 2 am. of course you’d be asleep by now.”

“good point.” you walked past haechan and headed towards the kitchen behind him. “are you hungry?”

why? why am i still doing this for him even after he impregnated his ex? i must be fucking stupid to still be wrapped around his finger.

“no, i just— i just wanted to spend the night with you… i’m sorry…”

you were grateful for having your back facing him ‘cause this way, he couldn’t see your eyes brimming with tears, ready to fall.

“we’ll talk about this tomorrow.” you said before continuing your walk to the kitchen.

you grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it up with water to busy yourself. you weren’t exactly thirsty but you felt like you needed a glass of ice cold water right now.

donghyuck was still standing by the door frame when you jogged back towards it, but before you could enter, he held your arm firmly and muttered under his breath something that wasn’t quite audible but loud enough for you to take in.

“can i… can i kiss you?” he looked to the ground, biting his lips softly.

to say that you were shocked was an understatement, he’d never ask for a kiss from you before. of course, he was always the one who initiated kisses between the two of you but he’d never asked. easy to say, he stole them from you. just like he did with your first kiss.

“it’s been a while since we… you know and— i missed you…”

should i? i mean he’s still technically my boyfriend… or something of the sort.

after a hot minute of silence, you finally gave in to the thought and kissed him. you kissed him for the first time in 5 weeks.

the feeling of his soft lips against yours felt— selcouth. it wasn’t like the way he used to kiss you. he used to kiss you with love and passion but this time it was… sorrowful, downhearted, depressing almost.

you could feel his emotions through that one kiss and it made your heart ache. it was like he was telling you that his feelings were mutual and he wanted you to stay but you knew those feelings were long gone.

you definitely still loved him but you can’t stand him anymore. you felt stupid, idiotic, foolish to be always taking his side and telling yourself that it wasn’t his fault, it was xyz’s.

but just for tonight. you’ll give in to his lust and go wherever the wind takes you, just for tonight.

the night was long. really.

a lot of… eventful things happened that night but i’m not going to go into detail. let’s just say that the sex was doleful.

evenfall came and you were sitting across haechan, both as serious as ever. you were going to tell him. you were going to let him know your feelings towards him. you were going to tell him what you want.

“haechan, i have to tell you something…” you looked at your lap, hands shaking lightly form the nervousness.

“i’m listening.”

you took a deep breath multiple times before finally gaining the courage to be a woman and get this over with.

“i’m breaking up with you.” you mumbled lowly, but still audible enough for hyuck to hear.

“w—what? what do you mean? you wanna breakup? is— is it because of seo—” he stammered, standing up to look at you from above.

“it’s just not working! i— i’m tired donghyuck… i just can’t deal living with you anymore! you’re just so— controlling! you always tell me what i can or cannot do without even thinking about what i feel! you don’t even let me hang out with my best friend anymore these days! you’re even suspicious about my brother?! you’re fucking delusional! and to think that you got your ex pregnant just makes it worst! i’ve been thinking about this for a while now and i think i’m finally done with you. last night was immaculate, i’ll give you that, but it just might be the last time.” you face was covered with dried tears at this point, still refusing to make eye contact with your almost ex.

“y/n… i— i never intended to make you feel this way, i just…” he took a deep breath “all of them just makes me feel like you’re gonna leave me. you’re gonna leave me for them, and i just can’t help it! i hate it when you give jisung more attention when i’m right next to you, i hate it when your brother thinks i’m not good enough for you, and i especially hate it when you go out with one of my friends without me knowing! i get it, my friends are your friends but you can’t just not tell me when you’re going out with them… it makes me think that you’re possibly cheating on me with one of the guys! and about seoyeon, yes, i did sleep with her while we were dating but it was an accident! i was mad at you for whatever reason so just to make you feel what i felt, i fucked her! i was out of my fucking mind at that time and i regret ever laying a finger on her! and i’m sorry that i slapped you the other day, i just… i— i lost control…”

you were… speechless. i mean, what would you say in this type of situation? you didn’t even know if you wanted to go through with breakup anymore, you felt bad for him for some reason. and seeing his tears fall and land on his jeans that you bought for him on his birthday didn’t help. but then you started to overthink. what if he’s manipulating you? we all know he’s a manipulative bitch so it’s not a surprise if he does so even in this kind of situation.

you slowly lifted your right hand and pulled him to sit down next to you before patting at his back and giving him a loose hug.

“i believe you, i really do. and i wish i could accept you back… but i can’t. i’m sorry, hyuck, but i think we’re finally over.”

[ 19.48 ] voicemail from — hyuckie 💗

“y/n i’m sorry, i really am! please just call me back…”

you were sitting silently in your home, listening to the voicemails from haechan that seemed never ending.

[ 19.55 ] voicemail from — hyuckie 💗

“we have to talk, this can’t end like this!”

[ 19.58 ] voicemail from — hyuckie 💗

“please talk to me… it’s been a week and 3 days and i really miss you.”

yeah right. that wasn’t what he said when he left you waiting for him for two weeks and then came back just to slap you. what a fake.

[ 20.05 ] voicemail from — hyuckie 💗

“fine, if you don’t want to talk to me in person then i guess i’ll just tell you right now.”

[ 20.31 ] voicemail from — hyuckie 💗

“i took some time thinking about what you’d said last week and i understand why you cut ties with me. but i just want to let you know that i still love you, a lot, even if you don’t feel the same way. but please i’m begging you, if you don’t want to get back with me and prefer to end all romantic communications you have with me, at least, just at least can we still be friends? i don’t think i can live without being anywhere close to you. i want to see you, to make you smile and laugh, to bring you cake pops everyday… just like the old times. i might sound cheesy saying this but i miss seeing your face staring back at me every morning when i wake up. i miss the way you blush and put your hair behind your ear whenever i compliment you. i just miss everything about you. i wanted to be there for you whenever you felt upset about something, but right now, i think i’m the one who’s causing all of your stress… and i’m terribly sorry for that. i’ve never wanted to hurt or see you cry— except in bed, because of me. not just because of me, because of anything in general, it just hurts me really bad whenever you have that ugly frown on your face. i hope you um… take my words into mind and maybe think about it a little because i miss you more than my grandma.”

is haechan… for real? you’ve never heard him speak in such seriousness before and it pains you to see— well how much it pains him. and before you knew it, your favourite t-shirt was painted with tears as you mumbled a small, “idiot…” at his late grandma’s reference between both sobs and chuckles. poor nanny.

you decided to finally turn on your tv after like 3 days of not watching it. the show ‘Break Up or Make Up?’ was played the second you pressed the power button on the remote.

it showed a young couple holding hands by the beach as they looked at each other in adoration. out of the blue, the narrator spoke “in the end, who would’ve thought that the couple that never seems to stop bickering still ended up together even after everything?”

just like your relationship, you thought. but you were sure that you weren’t getting back with him anymore, no matter how hard he tries.

“you need to stop drinking, bro.” renjun patted haechan’s back, softly warning him of the consequences if he doesn’t stop.

“i can drink as much as i want to. fuck off.” he rolled his eyes at his friend, chugging the last bit of alcohol in the small shot glass.

finally having had enough, renjun snatched the glass away from him before giving him and earful. “dude! this is your 27th glass tonight! do you wanna pass out until the next morning? this is not healthy for you man!”

reaching over to his friend, donghyuck attempted to grab the glass back but failed when he suddenly toppled over the former and almost falling face first. “i miss her renjun.” there he goes again. he’s only been talking about how much he wants to clean his mess up and make you his again ever since they got there.

“and is drinking gonna bring her back? she’ll probably hate you even more if she sees you like this. you look like a fucking loser!” renjun replied.

and just as realisation hit him, haechan got up from his seat and proceeded to walk out of the small pub. not forgetting to yell a “i’m going for a smoke!” as he exited the place.

once he was out of the pub, he pulled out a box of cigarettes along with a lighter he always carries around in case of an emergency.

he stopped smoking a year ago because of you but he thought that in times like this, what’s wrong with a little smoke right? he was about to light the stick when as if on cue, you walk pass in front of him, not sparing him a glance until he called out for you.

“y/n? what’re you doing here?” eyes wide, he looked at you up and down before questioning you again. “are you meeting someone?” he asked with slight hesitancy.

you swiftly turned around at the sound of the familiar voice, the strong scent of tequila suffocating you.

“yes. i’m meeting my friends and were you drin—” you were going to ask him if he was drinking even though you knew the answer but was cut off when you saw the cig between his fore and middle finger, ready to be lit.

“you got back to smoking?” straightforwardly, you put a question to it. it was almost like there was a small interrogation between you two with all the questions.

“oh this? uh—” he tried to hide it it his leather jacket before you stopped him. “it’s okay, you don’t have to hide it. it’s not like i can stop you anymore.”

there was an intense silence for a hot second in the air which you decided break. “um anyways i uh i’ll get going now. see you next time, bye.” you sprinted towards the café you were supposed to be meeting your friends at. you were thankful you didn’t choose to wear heels today.

“huh. i guess drinking really did bring her back. the more you know, am i right?” renjun snickered behind hyuck.

“shut up before i take this umbrella, shove it up your arse and open it.”

the next day, there was a ring of your bell, again. the sound alerting you who was busy finishing up some work.

god. this was the 9th time this week that haechan’d been sending you gifts, and it’s only thursday! you were grateful, yes, but this was too much. and the gifts are probably worth more than your month’s salary!

you were planning on giving it back to him though, you couldn’t just accept such gifts from him. in the meantime, you were also thinking about how you can stop him from trying to win you back. you aren’t going back to him anytime soon so you wanted him to stop before he gets too disappointed.

finally after days of consideration, you decided that now is the best time to meet up with him and talk to him in person.

‘meet me at you-know-which-place in 20.’ you sent a text to him, the message being immediately read after you sent it. ‘omw’

fast-forward 15 minutes later, you were patiently waiting for the arrival of the awaited guest by a small river.

the place was empty, just like always. this was a common spot for the two of you. you guys accidentally found it when you were trying to look for a place to hook up. since then, this was your hang out or date spot. the place was beautiful, there’s a river along the path leading to god knows where, a vintage fountain at the centre of the park along with some flowers decorating it.

people rarely come here as it was quite hidden. the most you experienced was no more than 15 people. you were surprised that such place hadn’t gained any attention from the public, but a part of you was glad it wasn’t acknowledged as the peace and quietness of the park calms you.

as you were deep in thought, there was a light tap on your left shoulder, startling you in the process. “oh. hey…” you scooted to your left on the small bench, leaving space for the other.

“thanks.” he took a seat. “what is it you wanted to talk about?” said haechan as he admired the ducks swimming in the water.

“hyuck… i— please just—” sighs “please leave me alone…” you stared at your hands. “you shouldn’t be doing this, i mean we’re over! and that’s final! and i’m not gonna get back with you even if you gift me a house.” straightforwardly, you blurted. only now realising he might’ve gotten hurt at your words.

he was dumbfounded. i mean anyone would’ve reacted the same. what were you really supposed to say when someone literally goes off at you? “oh… i— i see… yeah um i guess i’ll stop…” he got up and attempted to leave, but then it started raining.

great. utterly great. now the both of you were all soaked and what makes the situation worst is the fact that none of you brought umbrellas. how could’ve you forgotten your umbrella when you literally bring it everywhere?

he saw your change of demeanour and as if it was his first instinct, he pulled you off the bench and guided you towards the open parking lot. it wasn’t even a lot it was just… a space.

“are you okay?” he asked once you were in his car, shivering lightly. when you didn’t respond, he spoke again. “i’ll go see if i have a towel or something.” and he sprinted to the back.

you lifted your bottom lightly from the seat knowing how much donghyuck hates it when his seats are wet.

he came back just to see you hovering over the leathered seat before chucking softly. “it’s okay, you can sit down. i’ll just wipe it off later. oh and here,” he handed you a maroon coloured towel he got from the trunk. “i use it for whenever i go swimming but i haven’t used it in a while so…”

silence

“i’m sorry, hyuck.” you looked down, afraid to face him.

“what for?” asked haechan, genuinely. you were hesitant to say it but it felt right. all the things you’ve done up until now feels wrong and is hypothetical wrong. so you wanted to do something that makes you feel good, that makes you feel free.

“i know… i know i’ve been a bad girlfriend for these past two years and i’m also aware of all the bullshit i say to you… but i never mean them… sometimes i just feel like you’re this annoying freak and i thought that saying things that could’ve possibly hurt you would make me feel better. but i guess i was wrong since it makes me feel like a terrible person. i hope you can forgive me and find somebody who is willing to replace me—”

“hey, hey, what’re you saying? i’m never replacing you with anyone! besides emma watson or zendaya or—” glares “okay, okay, i’m sorry. but seriously, i wouldn’t replace you with anyone. even if it’s zendaya.”

you tried to hide the grin formed on your lips but you couldn’t. which resulted to you bursting into a fit of laughter. you don’t even know why you’re laughing i mean it’s not like he was telling a joke or something right…?

“why’re you laughing! it’s true!” haechan laughed along with you. heart beating at an unsteady pace as he watched you with complete joy and… love.

‘i wish i’d seen this side of you more often, y/n…”

it was fun, you admit. the little outing you’d done with haechan a couple of hours earlier was fun. but now you’re stuck in your house with no motive. there was barely anything you could do. just like the last time you were here.

you didn’t want to think this time though, thinking’ll just make your head hurt much more than it already is. it started hurting the moment you stepped foot in your place, figuring it might be the stress you were getting lately, you acted as if it was nothing and made your way up the stairs and into your bathroom, not bothering to take off your clothes before doing so.

you latched your hand onto the metal knob of the shower before twisting it and letting the hot water flow in sophisticated directions on your body.

you raised both of your hands and placed them gently on your burning face, groaning loudly afterwards.

everything’s just too much for you right now. you just broke up with your boyfriend who you still love a lot, barely showing up at work due to your selfishness, you’re not even answering calls from jisung anymore.

you took your time in the shower to just rethink your life decisions. the why and what ifs of life.

what if you hadn’t agreed on going out with him two years ago? why did you think he was gonna treat you like he said he would? what if you hadn’t become friends with jisung in the first place? would the two of you still be together?

it took you about two hours to finally leave the shower and fiddle with the clothes in your closet. you were gonna go to sleep anyway, so why’re you picking clothes?

finally found something decent, you threw it on and laid comfortably on your bed, pulling out your phone from the nightstand beside you.

you looked at the amount of missed calls you’d gotten from both haechan and jisung. at this point, you were starting to get worried, there weren’t any voicemails this time though— oh wait. there is… one.

[ 21.21 ] voicemail from — Sungie

“y/n— please, please come to— there i just sent you the address. come here now!”

there were deep breaths between each word he muttered. you scrolled through your notifications until your eyes landed on the one jisung was talking about, the address. your eyes flickered to the time the message was sent before reading it aloud softly.

you averted your gaze to the digital clock next to you as the numbers ‘22.38’ glowed.

“fuck.”

you got to your car as quickly as possible before clicking on the directions option on the address jisung sent you and driving off to the place.

something was off, you could feel it. but you probably shouldn’t be overthinking much… no. no, you shouldn’t. you were silently going mad at the thought of donghyuck getting hurt. of course, you were still mad at him, but you weren’t a monster to the point where you’d be happy if something did actually happened to him. no, that’s cruel. no matter how many times he’d hurt you, both physically and mentally, you still find yourself chasing after him. scared of letting go.

and that’s when you wake up… to the sound of jisung calling for you. this isn’t real. none of it is. it was all a dream.

“hey, babe, you okay? you’ve been sleeping for the whole day. are you feeling alright?” he chuckled seeing your disoriented expression.

“what— donghyuck— where’s donghyuck?” you asked as you grabbed onto his arm, pulling yourself up from your laying position.

jisung had his eyebrows furrowed, looking at you with pure confusion and perplexity. “donghyuck? who’s that? i don’t know a donghyuck… why?” he held your hand and rubbed circles over it, soothing you a little.

“what..? uh— how about rosé? renjun? jeno? jaemin? chenle? seoyeon?” your eyes were almost the size of a couple of eight balls at this point.

“rosé’s working, renjun’s out with chenle, jeno just got back from busan and he’s in the guest room right now, whoever seoyeon is, i don’t know her, and jaemin’s… he’s in the back. i’ll call him for you if you wan—”

“wait—” you laughed and pulled your hand away from jisung, still confused from everything. “so you’re telling me, that there’s no donghyuck nor seoyeon? you’re joking right? lee donghyuck, or you may also know as haechan, is my boyfriend— ex, whatever. where is he? i remember you leaving me a voicemail and an address— wait i’ll show you.”

you grasped your phone from your back pocket and looked through it. but to your surprise, there was nothing but instagram notifications and a few messages from your friends. you went to your phone app and looked for haechan’s contact but none. there was nothing that could prove that everything that happened, was indeed real.

jisung looked… unhappy and a little bit disappointed when you met his eyes again. averting his gaze onto his lap, he stammered between light sobs. “y/n… are you— are you seeing another guy?”

sorry? what does he mean? i’m seeing another guy? what?

“what do you—”

“i’m your boyfriend y/n. and now that you’re suddenly talking about this donghyuck guy being your ‘boyfriend’ makes me feel like you’re cheating on me… so be honest with me y/n… are you going out with him without me knowing? i’ll— i’ll try to understand you and fix whatever i did wrong but please just answer me truthfully—”

“sung… i— i don’t know…”

and so you told him everything. everything about your dream. about your so called relationship with this donghyuck that you don’t even know is real or not. about how he got seoyeon pregnant, how you guys started dating 2 years ago, just everything.

to say he was flabbergasted was an understatement. he looked like he was gonna laugh-cry the whole time you were explaining your stupid dream to him. who would’ve thought that the man you claimed your boyfriend, wasn’t even real!

“y-you know what, let’s go grab some coffee, i think you need something to… clear your head a little.” he snickered. “don’t laugh at me!”

it didn’t take you that long to reach the all too familiar café since it was just roughly about 4 blocks away.

“you go take a seat. i’ll order for the both of us.” jisung insisted, which you complied.

you chose to sit at the usual spot, the farthest one from the entrance. with nothing to do, you turned your head as you looked at the people exiting and entering the café. until one particular boy caught your eye.

donghyuck.

he was sitting across, what looks like his girlfriend, wearing denim on denim. denim cap, denim jacket, jeans. classic donghyuck. but the worst part was that… he was staring right back at you.

just as you were about to walk in his direction, you spotted jisung carefully marching to your table, coffee almost falling from the lack of concentration.

“oops. got lucky with that one.” the two of you laughed it off.

you fixed your gaze back at haechan and saw that he was saying something to his girlfriend— wait, seoyeon? um, he said something to his girlfriend before heading towards the exit. sparing you a knowing look as he left.

“hey— jisung? i think i need to uh… take in some fresh air… i’ll be back.”

you didn’t give him time to respond when you were already heading towards the door, heart thumping in your chest.

“hyuck?”

“y/n.”

you took a step closer to him quietly hoping that this wasn’t a dream, and is in fact real.

“how do you—”

“i’m assuming you had that… dream too?” his eyes locked with yours. you didn’t reply to him though, still waiting for someone to wake you up.

he shifted awkwardly as he moved his gaze away from you carefully, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.

“that guy you were with… jisung isn’t it? are you guys like…” looking around, he hoped for an answer from you.

“yeah. we’re uh… he’s my boyfriend.”

“so that’s why i was so wary of him.” he snickered, trying to lighten the mood.

yeah… maybe that’s why you were always closer to jisung than you were with haechan… maybe that’s why you often give more attention to jisung rather than your own boyfriend— no, rather than donghyuck. maybe that’s why jisung was always protective over you. yeah. maybe.

“wait— is seoyeon actually pregnant?” you curiously asked. “yeah— we’re getting married in a few months.” he grinned happily, cheeks turning a beautiful shade of pink.

so… everything from your dream did happen, just in different circumstances? what kind of deja vu shit is this?

“that’s great! i hope you two… live a long life?”

he laughed contently at you, happy that he finally got to meet the girl he constantly dreams about.

not wanting to keep your partners waiting, the both of you decided to exchange numbers before heading back towards the café.

“hey uh, don’t forget to leave me tons of voicemails! i’ll listen to them on repeat.” he laughed.

“of course.”

oh— wasn’t expecting that were you? HAHA anyways lmk if you think i should post a like sequel to this or whether you’d like this to end with your own imagination :) have a great day everybody!!

#february 14th #haechan #haechan angst #haechan imagines #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct dream imagines #nct dream #nct 127 #nct smut #haechan smut #donghyuck smut #nct hard hours #haechan hard hours

379 notes · View notes

datk-popblog · 4 years

Text

Imagine...

NCT Dream as Your Boyfriend

(not a request! I thought I’d do a little write write for you guys haha❤️)

Renjun:

He’s such a loving boyfriend. Like he’d do anything to show his affection for/towards you.

Whenever he’s super busy with comebacks or just work in general; he’ll ALWAYS make up for it.

Like for example. If he missed 5 days to spend time with you, he would spend 5 days on little dates with you. It’s the little things he does.

The boys always mention how much he talks about you and omg he gushes everytime.

“What can I say? I’m obsessed with her!”

Cute little nicknames for you like “lovely,” “Buggy bear,” “Honey bee,” and “Doll face”

He likes to make you dinner a lot. Like a lot a lot.

“This is the fourth time you’ve made me dinner in the same week, babe.” “I can’t let my wifey starve!”

He was the type to get your relationship very open to the members but very secret in public.

Renjun always wants to protect you from the hateful critics and what they have to say about your guy’s relationship.

When it came to meeting each other’s parents; man oh man he was a wreck.

“Are they gonna like me? Especially your dad! I have to look very clean and nicely dressed. I can’t look like a jerk!”

He wouldn’t shut up about how nervous he was gonna be the entire ride. It got so bad it started making you overwhelmed and nervous😭

On his days off, he literally took you anywhere you wanted to go.

The spa? He’d get a mani pedi to pamper himself too because he’s a supportive boyfriend so why tf not.

Even dates to the amusement park? Like one day he’d be like “it’s my day off, so, let’s go to the park.”

Even dates to South Korea’s fanciest restaurants like omg.

THIS BOY LOVES TF OUT OF YOU ITS BEYOND.

When it’s sexy time, he knows what you like and how you like it delivered.

One day he found out you can squirt and he’s literally been making you squirt over and over ever since.

Yeah, Renjun looks very innocent on the outside with a dash of glitter to him; but when you two are alone he MANHANDLES the fuck out of you.

Sometimes he doesn’t mean to hurt you. He just is really rough and it comes off super duper aggressive.

After sexy time, he ALWAYS ALWAYS makes sure to nut in your mouth. Whatever position you guys are in, he’ll turn you around or stand you up.

He just loves watching his liquids drip from your lips. He gets off looking at it.

After sex, he’d cuddle you so so hard. Like he’d fuck the hell out of you, but wants to be little spoon? Like dude wtf

“I love you soooo much my lovely.”

Ugh omg just hold this boy and cherish him

Jeno:

He’s such a tease boyfriend and it SHOWS.

He likes to brag about how hot you two look together (and y’all do look hot PAUSE)

“That’s my baby. Her fine self!”

He enjoys bringing you to his practices. He knows you like to watch him dance

Sometimes you’ll be there at the studio for hours and you’ll get super tired.

“I’m sorry I’m taking long baby girl. We’ll be home together soon.” He’d tell you then go back to practicing

The one special thing about Jeno is that he’s soooo reassuring. From little compliments to accomplishments.

He loves to praise you for how much you’ve done and how good you take care of him

“I love you so much. You’ve done everything for me.”

Like if you passed a test or something from school, he’d take you on a date.

Even if you didn’t pass the test he’d still treat you because he loves you so much!

Jeno likes to leave little love notes around your guy’s room. It’s like a scavenger hunt. You’ll find them behind the tv, under your pillow and bed, in your shirt drawer. Literally everywhere.

When it came to announcing your relationship to the world, he wasn’t afraid. He did NOT care at all. Regardless of what the company said. SM told him to wait at least one year and he did it after 6 months.

“I know you’re meant to be my forever. I can feel it in my heart, babe. I know you are.”

When it came to sex, he was super super sweet and slow. He loved taking his time with you. He wasn’t dominant but was when it was the right time.

Lovesssssssss to suck your toes.(IK ITS WEIRD BUT HE LOVES IT!!!!) He loves tf out of your feet???

For your guy’s first time, Jeno put roses on the bed and serenaded you with a guitar and literally had you meLTINGGG.

“I love you so much. Whenever you’re ready; I’m ready.”

He liked for you to be dominant sometimes but would never force you. He never forces you into doing stuff you never wanna do; especially during sex (or in general)

After sexy time, it was shower time together.

You both just hugged one another in the shower and let the water run over you both. And during all this, his thick arms just embraced your frame.

When you were in his arms you felt loved and at home.

“You know I love you right?” “You tell me all the time, Jeno. I’m aware.” “I just love saying it.”

(Jeno is my bias so this made me feel so lonely writing his section. I hate it here😭)

Haechan:

Haechan is known as the sassy one but in the relationship that’s literally how he is. It’s the Gemini in him.

Don’t be surprised if sometimes he has an attitude. He just had a bad day at work.

“I don’t mean to yell or snap at you. You know I love you, baby.” And he’d hold you so so tight

You guys wouldn’t ever argue sometimes but if you did you both would ignore each other.

Then the other mates would have to fix the issue with you both.

“If you guys don’t stop with the petty shit!” -Renjun

Haechan LOVES your kisses.

If you didn’t kiss him in a certain amount of time he’d fake cry and stomp his feet.

“Jagi~~!! I need your kis-“ “omg there. Be quiet”

When he was gone for work (for literal months) it was so hard for you guys to maintain a good long distance relationship.

You guys would FaceTime all the time but it was never the same because you wanted him in person.

“I don’t know the next time I’m able to see your face. I miss you a lot though, baby girl.”

You would see Haechan all the time and how good he was doing on the web but omg YOU MISSED YOUR BABY

Occasionally he’d come back home and stay with you for as long as he needed to.

“You should travel with me and sing with the group. A female touch would be awesome.” “Haechan, I love you, but I’m not singing with 127.”

Soon enough he convinced SM to bring you wherever he went so now you’re with the boys. All. The. Time.

“You’re my new assistant, Y/N. I demand a bottle of water.” “Kiss my ass, Haechan”

SEXY time with Haechan ooooooo chile

He likes to lift you up and hold you against the wall and kiss your neck.

Or even doggy style. Haechan just loves the view from the back.

Whenever he hits it from the back, he digs his fingers right at the bottom of your back. Or even grabs your shoulders to go in deeper.

You only know when he’s close when his body starts slowing down and you feel his body jerk.

“I wanna nut in you so badly, Y/N!” “Well don’t do that.”

Eventually he nutted in you and you had to take a plan B. So that’s that

“I told you not to do that to me, babe.” “I couldn’t just hold it back. It came out.”

After 10 months of dating, he bought you a promise ring. Seems quick but he KNEW it was meant to be. He’s not letting you go; no matter what.

“Soon, I’m gonna turn that ring into an engagement ring.” Haechan smiles

Jaemin:

I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone more affectionate than Na Jaemin

He’s such a loving boyfriend like super loving

Before you would go to work, he would pack your lunch and make sure to add little hearts and notes in your lunch-bag

His little notes would say something like: “I love you so much my honey bear,” “Have an amazing day at work. DONT overwork yourself.”

LITERALLY SO AFFECTIONATE

If you went somewhere without him, he would be a little offended but would end his disagreement w/ a “text me when you get there. I love you.”

and holy fuck if you did NOT text him, he’d lose his mind

you guys have each other’s locations

THATS WHEN YOU KNOW ITS REAL AND LEGIT

when Jisung was around, it was literally a competition for whoever gets Jaemin first.

Jaemin would occasionally pick Jisung over you. He’s fake and it shows

“where’s all the love and attention I need?” You call out.

“Baby, you have to wait your turn.” -Jaemin

when you guys argued, he would literally feel so guilty. especially if you had reasons to be pissed off.

like you would have receipts and he’d just cry. not to play victim, but because he wouldn’t ever want to hurt you emotionally, or physically.

“I’m really sorry...I promise I won’t do it again.”

he made it up by kissing you endlessly.

sexy time with Jaemin was everything you desired it to be

little comments in-between sex like: “i love you princess,” or “do i make you feel good?”

UGH WE LOVE TO SEE IT

okay but Jaemin is more of the submissive type. he rarely gets dominant with you.

“i’m tired of riding you jaemin. my legs hurt.” “don’t worry, babe. lay down.”

like he KNOWS how to put it down

like he knows what he be doing too like wtf man

Jaemin makes dinner practically every night. this man is never not cooking.

“do you want pork or soup tonight?” “how about pork IN the soup?” “Y/N, I love your thinking.”

HE EVEN MAKES SURE YOU HAVE A NAPKIN ON YOUR LAP SO YOU DON’T SPILL ANYTHING HOT ON YOURSELF

Jaemin as your boyfriend>>>>>>anything else

Chenle:

HE IS SOOOO LOVING!!!!!!!

Chenle likes to wake you up with breakfast in bed

even though sometimes he can burn the food or miss an ingredient

“how does it taste, baby girl?” you smiled and kissed him

“I LOVE IT!”

Chenle was very very giving

he would always buy you something (RICH CHENLE CHECK)

little trips to the mall, coffee shops, jewelry stores

“babe do you want this?” “Chenle, I don’t need-” “Grab it. I’ll get it for you”

he brags to the dreamies about you ALLLLLL THEEEEEE TIMEEEEE

“you see Y/N as my lock-screen? isn’t she so frickn beautiful!”

“Chenle, you’ve mentioned Y/N about a hundred times” -Haechan

“And I don’t regret it.”

if you guys are far away from each other he’ll always ft you. there’s never not one day he’s not talking to you

“holy shit. I miss you so much. I’m going insane!” “Chenle, it’s just three more weeks.” “I can’t even go 3 minutes without thinking about you.”

since you guys have a studio apartment together in South Korea, he does surprise pop up visits

he’ll literally be sitting on the couch and scare the shit out of you

“Chenle, you didn’t tell me when you were gonna be home!” “I thought I’d surprise you when you come home from work.”

When he came home, you guys made love. Like he was holding it in for YEARS!!!

Chenle is rough af when the times right. Like especially when he hasn’t seen you in so long.

“Tell me when to slow down. I don’t wanna hurt you.” He whispers in your ear

He likes to kiss your neck and leave hickies when he’s on top. HE ENJOYS LEAVING MARKS ON YOU

He’s very demanding

“Tell me you love me. Tell me, Y/N. Say it, baby.”

Sometimes he gets tired and makes you ride him. And when you slow down, he grabs the fUCK OUT OF YOUR HIPS

“Chenle, I cant go any faster. My thighs hurt.” “Here let me help you.” AND BOOM. HES ON BEAST MODE

As soon as you guys finish, he cuddles you so hard and rubs your booty. He doesn’t care to put boxers on after sex because he’s just so comfortable

“That was so amazing. When’s the last time we’ve done something that well together?” “Chenle, I don’t know. You’ve been gone for 3 months.”

“Yeah but how’d you get so well.” “Chenle what?!”😭😭

If you guys rest long enough; he goes for round two. There’s nothing holding this kid back. HE WILL FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU BC HE MISSED YOU

If you guys ever have small arguments it would literally be for five minutes and boom. You guys are best friends????

he hates arguing with you because he feels it’s a “waste of time” and it “emotionally hurts the relationship”

which he’s not wrong because who would want their relationship ruined on stupid arguments

“Y/N quit ignoring me and make out with me.”

This KIDS ALWAYS IN THE MOOD FOR YOU

he’s just never around you anymore so it’s just a bunch of orgasms built up

Chenle is awesome in all the right ways. This kid is the best boyfriend.

Jisung:

I’m pretty sure Jisung has told you and other people hundreds of times he’s gonna marry you.

“you have no idea how much I fucking I adore you, Y/N.”

yeah he’s the baby of the group, but you’re HIS baby.

“Jagi! You have to eat something! I’m not letting you go anywhere til you eat!”

he’s very very caring. sometimes he doesn’t show it in a talking way, but through his actions; it speaks so much louder.

Jisung can be a little awkward sometimes. especially around the members.

If you were to kiss him when the dreamers were there, he would get super red and would be on hush mode.

“Jagiiiii~ You aren’t supposed to do that. You know how I feel.” “But you and I both know how much you love it.” You smiled

when he first met your family, he was very scared. I mean like sweating through his dress shirt scared.

“Jisung, baby. they’re gonna like you a lot, okay? Don’t be so nervous.” “Yeah, but what if they ask me a question and I don’t respond? Imagine if your dad asks me what my intentions are with you? What the fuck am I gonna say?”

DONT WORRY. HE KNOWS WHAT TO SAY HES JUST SCARED AF I-

he literally shakes when he meets your mom but not your dad???

after he met the fam, they loved him a lot

Jisung is the sweetest person how can anyone NOT love him. like cmon

when you guys came out to the public, he took you E V E R Y W H E R E

and i mean everywhere

You were his date to music awards, debut stages, game/talk shows, etc.

Jisung loved bringing you everywhere with him. He says it makes him feel safe and at home every time he’s with you

(i wish someone felt that way about me. ima cry)

(this next part im NOT getting into detail. ik how lots of you feel about baby Jisung therefore it’ll be not so r-rated)

love making with Jisung is the softest thing ever.

before he does ANYTHING to your body, he ALWAYS makes sure you’re okay with it.

“Baby, you know I’ll always put your feelings first. I love you.”

He wasn’t rough(unless you asked or begged) he was always gentle

whenever he was on top, he liked to bury his face into your neck and give you neck kisses and soft nip at your ear

whenever you rode him, he’d just grab your hips and does the work for you. he knows how tiring it can be for your thighs so he goes all out by helping

his soft mOANS ARE TO DIE FOR. like literally he lets loose when it’s private time

moral of the story; find yourself a Jisung bc you won’t regret it.

----

It’s been WAY too long since I posted. I’ve been working full-time at my job now and saving up for a car ! Im super excited for myself guys omgggg. I missed you guys so so much

xoxo Jay

248 notes · View notes

sunflowerhae · 4 years

Text

Lifeboat

N.J (2k)

A/N• this is purely indulgent. It also has quite heavy themes, but at this point are any of us surprised. I want to make something clear, the reader doesn’t do what she does bc of what happens with her and Jaemin (I’m trying not to spoil). I mean, that’s just a tip of the iceberg type situation. That being said, if you are having similar thoughts as our dear reader, please call your countries suicide hotline, and/or talk to someone you trust in your life. ALSO, I am not trying to romanticize any of the topics I wrote about, I’m trying to show that even the people that seem to have it all can be just as lost and broken as the rest of us, also that the most important thing you could be to a person is someone who asks them if they’re okay. Sometimes, that’s all a person needs - Someone to listen.

READ!⚠️angst, suicide,character death, drugs, heavy self-hating words, depiction of depression/mental illness, not specified, but insinuates⚠️

{🎵SOTS☁️; Lifeboat, Elle McLemore}

The world seemed to close in on you as you stared at the boy who stood before you with a hardened gaze in his eyes. While you only stood a good 3 feet away from him, you could feel the anger and helplessness radiating off of him, transferring itself onto you in sadness and heartbreak.

“Why?” Was the only thing you could manage to get past your lips.

“Y/n, it’s not that I don’t like you, of course I do. We’ve been dating for 2 years, but I’ve just been... uncomfortable almost the whole time. It’s not your fault, it’s just, your life. I can’t handle being with one of the most popular girls in school. You seem to have it all figured out, and everyone loves you, and I feel pushed to the side sometimes.” You didn’t understand why Jaemin was mad, but the small space under the bleachers where you both stood was enough to suffocate you to the point where you didn’t care to ask.

He didn’t understand.

They never understood.

No one.

You wanted to fight to save your relationship, but the words choked into the back of your throat, just like they did when Soojin would bully people in front of you, and you wanted to scream at her and pull the other person into your arms and whisper that it will all be okay and apologize apologize apologize, but you stayed rigid on her flank, silently trying to survive until you could get to Jaemins arms, or to the bottom of a beer bottle at yet another house party you were constantly forced to attend with your other two friends.

You choose to swallow your spit, and ask him, “is this because of soojin? Did she say something to you?” You knew your “dear” friend had a certain distaste for your long term boyfriend, because - as she had worded it - his kind doesn’t belong next to someone that Soojin had deemed acceptable enough to befriend (you); “His kind” being not necessarily the most popular. Him and his other friends were amazing people, and you wished you would have befriended them on the first day of freshman year, instead of the blonde girl in your Art 1 class that always had a red scrunchie. When Jaemin introduced you to them, you could tell they were hesitate to let you into their life - what with your position within your schools hierarchy system. You honestly didn’t blame them. However, after a while they warmed up to you, and you felt like you finally fit in with people. You thought these people would become your life long friends; long after you’ve left high school and forgotten all about the life you unwillingly lead.

You suppose that is no longer the case.

“No, yes, god I don’t know, y/n. It’s just, everything! You have friends that are bitches, and I never know when you’re just going to leave me and spread some terrible rumor about me!” He was silently yelling now. It was after school, and the football team was on the field - the other side of where you stood - practicing. There were people running on the track, cheerleaders practicing next to the field, leftover students wondering the grounds. Everyone was living, moving on with their lives and turning along with the Earth - why did you feel frozen? Why did you feel like nothing was ever going to keep moving and be okay and the world was never going to be beautiful again?

“Is that what you expect me to do, Jaemin? After two years of knowing me, is that what you think of me?”

“God, y/n, maybe! I see who you align yourself with so I wouldn’t be surprised if you were a bitch just like them!” You understood he was just hurting, like you, but that didn’t make the words hurt any less. You took a couple steps back from his figure with slow nods, before turning around fully and booking your way to your car.

Jaemin watched your retreating figure with tears curling into his eyes. He left not long after you did, still thinking about you on the way home. He didn’t know this at the time, but that was the last time he ever saw you. His first love, his first heartache.

You felt guilty.

You always did. You always had this insistent chewing at your intestines; this constant voice in your head telling you that everyone was better than you, and that you didn’t deserve the praise you got for being a good person.

You tried to fight the words and the icky feelings off with trips to the volunteer center - usually with Jaemin. You went that night, hoping that this constant pain in your heart after hearing jaemins smooth, venom-filled words would choke back and leave your system, like the terrible feelings usually did when you helped people. However, no matter how many people smiled at you, and no matter how many lives you got to help, the feeling only grew more and more.

You are worthless, y/n.

You only do charity work for your own need.

No one likes you.

You’ll never be loved.

Not even Jaemin loves you.

These ill thoughts were a normal occurrence for you. Usually, Jaemin would lay you down, rub your stomach, and whisper in your ear how beautiful you were to him, inside and out.

You were a nuisance and a waste to him, y/n.

The feelings never left, and you could tell people knew something was wrong with you, so you chose to leave the center early. On your way out, a familiar face had asked you where Jaemin was. You pretended you didn’t hear them.

Your room was dark. Usually, if you couldn’t have Jaemin, you would go to your parents. However, they were away at a dinner event for your mother’s work. You would never go to Soojin, and while you loved Haeyong, she had a tendency to tell Soojin about what you two privately talked about; always trying to get brownie points with the blonde girl who seemed to secretly hate her. You figured there was someone you could go to, and it didn’t hurt to try.

Y/n [10:57pm] u up???? I kinda need someone to talk to rn hAha. Read

Y/n [10:59pm] hello? 👉👈 Read

Y/n [11:02pm] Haechan why r you leaving me on read bro?? Ik he’s your best friend, but we don’t have to talk about him, I just need someone to talk to pLS pls. Read

[MISSED CALL FROM Y/N] 11:02PM

Haechan [11:03pm] listen y/n we shouldn’t talk anymore, I’m sorry. You were a good friend, but Jaemin was and always will be first to me. And he’s right, we never know when you’re going to do a 180 on us and tell all of our secrets to everyone. We can’t - and never have been able to - trust you. I’m sorry, really. You’re a popular girl. You don’t need us, you’ll forget. When we became friends with you, we didn’t really want to, Jaemin kinda forced us to, I hope u understand. :/ we’ll forget about u, u forget about us. Deal? Read

Y/n [11:04pm] um ok. Sorry for bothering you all, have a good night Read

Y/n [11:03pm] when will u be home?Read

[MISSED CALL FROM Y/N] 11:04PM

Mom [11:06pm] not for a while, ask Jaemin to come over if you’re scared of being alone. Read

Y/n [11:06pm] mom i hate to be annoying but can u and dad come home rn??? I need u Read

[MISSED CALL FROM Y/N] 11:06PM

Mom [11:08pm] are you dying? Has someone broken in? Are you unsafe?Read

Y/n [11:08pm] um,,,,no Read

Mom [11:10pm] well then no y/n. You know how much this award means to me, I’ve been constantly working lately and finally might get recognized for it. If I leave now, I might not get it. Can whatever you need wait? Read

Y/n [11:11pm] Um yeah. I love u Read

Mom [11:12pm] u too💖 Read

Why were you never first?

Why was there no one who asked you if you were okay?

If there was, what would you say?

See y/n? No one likes you.

You’re a bother to them.

Maybe you should fix that.

Maybe if you made their lives easier, they would love you.

You didn’t deserve their love, but maybe?

Maybe the pills could love you.

They were always there for you.

Maybe, they could help others love you too.

Love love love love.

Maybe.

They say your parents found you in bed.

They thought you were sleeping. I mean, all your lights were off, it was late.

But in the morning, when your mother came to wake you up and saw that your eyes were wide open, well....

They found the note on your desk across the room.

It was dated a year before.

You had written it a year before.

Everyone admitted that it was such a beautiful note. Heartbreaking? Yes. gut-wrenching? Of course. But beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

They gathered everyone into the gym the next day in intervals. Freshman, who didn’t understand what was really happening, but had heard your name and definitely knew who you were, and could put two and two together.

Next, the sophomores. Like the freshman, they only had heard of you. Some had met you, some cried. You were kind, they knew.

After them, the juniors. Chenle and Jisung were sitting in the corner. Jisung was sobbing into Chenle’s lap, while silent tears fell down the olders’ face. You had always been willing to play video games with them, and were such a kind hearted person. They remember last night, when they were all sitting together and haechan had read your texts you sent out loud, and all of them were so busy feeling for Jaemin, that they blindly informed Haechan on what he should say. On how to break your heart. Chenle wished Haechan had called her.

Finally, the seniors. Soojin and Haeyong sat in the back, as always. They were both upset because you had not been answering their texts.

Renjun, Haechan, Jeno, and Jaemin were sitting on the other side. They had not been told what the assembly was about, but when the teacher got the call about it, halfway through math, she sat at her desk for a couple of seconds with her head in her hands. They knew whatever the assembly was about was not good.

Haechan was the first to react out of the four.

He whispered your name silently with wide eyes rounded on his face. His mind went to the first time you met him. You played him in a round of Overwatch to get him to warm up to you, and easily beat him. Besides Jaemin, he was probably the one you were closest to.

Jeno just kept looking at his lap with evident tears denting dark spots onto his jeans. Renjun, who was sitting next to Jaemin, couldn’t take his eyes off the boy to his right, terrified that he would faint.

Jaemin felt sick. He knew he looked pale, and his head felt a bit dizzy. He tasted metallic in his mouth, and finally registered that he was biting the inside of his cheek so hard, he was drawing blood. He wanted to leave, but he was too far up on the risers to get down.

Soojin cried. It was uncharacteristic of her, but at this point she didn’t care. How had she not seen it? Was she that self centered that she had really not seen it on you? Her best friend?

Haeyong wished you had called her, wished you had told her. But why would you? She knew she didn’t deserve to hear your heartache, but she still wished.

They read out your note. Your beautiful, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching note. They read it. And the student body listened.

I float in a boat

In a raging black ocean

Low in the water

And no where to go

The tiniest lifeboat

With people I know

Cold,

Clammy and crowded

The people smell desperate

We’ll sink any minute

So someone must go

The tiniest lifeboat

With people I know

Everyone’s pushing

Everyone’s fighting

Storms are approaching, there’s no where to hide

If I say the wrong thing

Or I wear the wrong outfit

They’ll throw me right over the side

I’m hugging my knees

And the captain is pointing

Well who made her captain?

Still, the weakest must go

The tiniest lifeboat

Full of people I know

The tiniest lifeboat

Full of people I know

Lemme know if you’d like a part two? Idk. Like I said this is purely indulgent so it’s not that good sorry :///

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