#but im feeling

[ex-textura]

Sometimes I see my own gifs or screenshots in the wild(by which I mean on my dash) and I have to like...do a double-take.

It's so weird. Y'all saw this thing I did and then.. just...showed it to other people? Were like 'hey this is cool enough to put on my wall I guess'.

You add it to your own art? You create from and around it? You think something I did adds value to your own art?

Gosh.

You guys are wild.

((I love you))

#sometimes i forget i exist and that people might actually perceive me does that make sense #i dunno #but im feeling

[the-desperate-stargazer]

thoughts on turning 22

15th june 2022

remember when taylor swift said, "i don't know about you, but i'm feeling 22" —like being 22 was something you had to feel and experience in order to relate to? well for some reason, after that, it was like turning 22 became an iconic point in the prime of our youth. it was like turning 22 was symbolic, was phenomenal because it was the height of your early 20s. you see, being in the early 20s is like a melting pot of all the catastrophic chaos and confusion and bliss of young adulthood. in other words, it's like "we're happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. It's miserable and magical"  —and today as i turn 22, i feel like my life encapsulates all that wild energy, inexplicable confusion and widened horizons. it's like even if my life is full of chaos, it also has a youth to be cherished while it lasts. what else is 22 but a reminder that being young enough to feel all of this at once is something that deserves so much gratitude? and i'm grateful for my 22 years. i truly am. alhamdulillah✨

 —turning 22 isn't frustrating like turning 20 or 21. there's something different about it, something quite like joy.

#i dont know about you #but im feeling #22 #22 years old

[whaledocboi]

ai generated images make me increasingly sad and tired the more i see them in more and more casual contexts. i dont know how to explain, but it just fills the world with a bunch of nothing. no matter how visually stunning the pictures might be, there's nothing behind it for me. no dedication, no emotions, no feelings, no hard work or creativity, nothing i can truly think about, admire or enjoy. i dont think thats how art is supposed to be

#not to mention ripping off and plagirazing real artists hard work of course #which is a whole other conversation #i cant feel the same love and adoration for whatever the slop machine produces #it will never be the same #im just really tired #anti ai #anti ai art

[skrunksthatwunk]

see 0 note flop posts aren't that bad when they're personal but 0 note fandom posts feel literally so bad. like if you don't wanna play toys with me anymore just say that. i'll pack up my super cool awesome things and go and i'll sit on the other side of the playground by myself and i won't even look at you. fuck

#yes i AM thinking about a particular post. no it wasn't that good but still. a moment of heartache for sure #like it feels so bad but im too prou dto delete it and also too lazy

[captainsaltypear]

IS ANYONE ELSE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS OR

#hazbin hotel #huskerdust #hazbin husker #hazbin angel dust #hazbin angeldust #angeldust #husker #hazbin husk #look man im all for overlord husk but EXCUSE ME???????? #WHERE DID THIS COME FROM #I LITERALLY YELLED W H A T AT MY COMPUTER SCREEN WHEN HE SAID THIS #I KNEW HUSK WAS STRONGER THAN HE LET ON BUT AN OVERLORD??????? #GURL?????????? #DAMN SON #THIS new piece of information caught me so offguard that i was still reeling from it even after the emotional bomb that was loser baby #anyways huskerdust truthers how are we feeling #HOW DOES VICTORY FEEL #NO LONGER CRACKSHIP BROTHERS #WE'RE REAL #AND IM FEELING SO GOOD ABOUT IT #anwyways im doing very emotionally good how are you guys #im...gonna put a hiatus my own personal webcomic to cry over this for the next 6 months #girls help #keith david...........im so sorry i ever doubted you he ATE THAT UPPPP #hazbin hotel spoilers #pear post #scheeze art

[etherealspacejelly]

sometimes you just have to let yourself be a bit neurodivergent.

i hate going out, it gives me a lot of anxiety and sensory input that i dont like, and i am often forced to talk to people.

so i do this thing on more difficult days, or sometimes just for fun, where i "bring a fictional character with me". i walk and imagine Fictional Character walking next to me. they talk to me, reassure me, hype me up, whatever i need them to do.

today dean winchester came christmas shopping with me. he went over the list with me of stuff i needed to get, told me i was doing a good job every time i finished in a certain shop, reminded me to take a deep breath when i got a little overwhelmed.

and yea. its kinda silly. and i know its just me talking to myself in a different voice, but it Works! especially since all of my special interests/hyperfixations tend to be tv/movie related.

so do what you gotta do to Get Shit Done. stop holding yourself to neurotypical standards. if you need Fictional Character to tell you you're doing a good job, do it! if you need Favourite Singer to walk you to school, do it! yea it might feel silly but you're literally fighting against your own brain to get stuff done every single day. you can have a little self indulgent daydream, as a treat.

#autism #actually autistic #adhd #audhd #actually adhd #neurodivergent #im tagging adhd and autism because that is specifically what i have #this post can apply to any neurodivergent people who feel it helps #i am fully aware that neurodivergent includes people who arent autistic or adhd

[tiarnanabhfainni]

every single time israel fires on people picking up food or humanitarian aid it truly cuts me to the core. obviously it's equally horrible to fire on civilians escaping the invasion or to bomb hospitals or refugee camps or people just living in their own homes. but there's something so brutal about hitting people right when they have gathered for life-saving aid. by firing on them there the IOF have set up an impossible dilemma where starving people have to choose between death by bullet or death by hunger. they have left no room for palestinians to choose life. i do not know how my government or any other government can just sit by and watch while innocent people continue to be gunned down for the crime of existing in israel's eyeline.

#feels like a stupid post to make but im watching all this videos and i feel so much for these people just trying to eat

[linddzz]

Actual image of me fighting for my fucking life on discord

#IM SORRY THEY FEEL BAD OK #dreamling channel like MMHM AND WHAT ELSE

[crabussy]

IM GOING TO PUNCH A HOLE IN SOMEONES CAR

#WHAT THE FUCK MAN #caps #you're not evil dont worry I love you #BUT WHAT THE FUCK. I feel like sisyphus now #if I just blow my nose again it'll be clear right. right guys. if I get the mucus out I can breathe #IM GONNA BE ILLL IM SO ANGRY

[trudlejack]

(+part 2)

#a tale told in three frames… #to everyone who said that other flavours are better should know that i had monster energy like once in my life #and i only did so cause it was the cool thing to do in the alt sphere #but thats all history #im neurodivergent tho so i ended feeling super sleepy afterwards #original art #fanart #digital art #digital illustration #laios dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dunmeshi laios #dunmeshi #senshi dungeon meshi #senshi dunmeshi #senshi delicious in dungeon #marcille donato #marcille dungeon meshi #marcille dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon marcille #chilchuck #why does chilchuck only have 1 tag??? 😭😭😭😭 #procreate #fan comic #+part2?? isnt that the name of the starving artist game??/j

[wolvesbaneandbuttercups]

I start with P and end with ORN what am I?

PRONGHORN

#pronghorn deer #deer #im feeling silly today

[catmask]

its true that romance amd friendship will not solve everything but. objectively speaking its very hard to get sad when you can say 'lets go get cake tomorrow okay' and someone will go get cake with you. like there is some good at least. you know

#i think this is why ive been so much more geniunely happy these last few years #like. i will never be going to bed alone. i will always have someone who wants me here #i will always have someone to say 'im sorry im not feeling very well now' and they will be concerned instead of being annoyed #at you as if those feelings are an inconvenience #scratchpost #txt

[nonebinary-leftbeef]

DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one

#i've been listening to icarus by bastille #and for some reason my brain fills in 'this is how it feels to take a fall' as 'this is how it feels to take off all your skin' #and like fuck man #and I KNOW that’s technically not a misheard lyric but my post my rules cope #anyway my line now #also probably phrased this poorly but its ok #im allowed to be incomprehensible #as a treat #and then fuckin #from we sink by of monsters and men #the original line was 'please look away dont look at me' #and i kept hearing it as 'please learn a way to look at me' #anyway #shoving this post in the queue but please be aware that i am writing it very late at night #q

[soranker]

laios985

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #marcille donato #izutsumi #chilchuck tims #senshi #SURPRISE not trigun again lol #ohmygawd sorry i almost felt too lazy to tag all their names #anyways THIS ONE’S FOR YOU EMI 🫵🫵🫵 #you can prob expect more dunmeshi art in the near future BC IM SOOOO FACKING EXCITED FOR THE ANIME HELPP MEEEEE #IT JUST FEELS LIKE IT WAS MADE FOR ME LIKE STUDIO TRIGGER AND BUMP OF CHICKEN OP?????????? DUNMESHI NATION. WE WON.

[blueskittlesart]

sharing mana

#just watched the new episode. feeling normal #wjere is. the falin to my marcille. someone die for me so i can revive you through questionably ethical methods #dungeon meshi #farcille #skribbles #can i avoid getting this marked as explicit? im toeing the line here. we shall see

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum