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jckelly · 3 years

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how easy it is to pretend / para

goes with this playlist

& this one (for jack’s relationship w his brother

Piece things back up for me, it’s hysterical to think that it’s almost a year to the day.

Maybe the lyrics aren’t meant in the way Jack is hearing them at all. They could be a love song, an ode to a long-lasting relationship. Or a friendship, because does everything really have to be about sex? Or perhaps he’s not hearing them right anyway, it’s often the case when his mind is elsewhere, the words blur into something else entirely. Maybe they’re just about drugs and shit. Fuck knows he’s never been good at analysis. But right now, the words he thinks he heard are hitting a little too close to home.

Home, which is six thousand miles away, and yet today he can’t quite feel the distance because there’s a bungee chord screwed right into his heart, yanking his feelings until they crash right back into a rainy morning in a church, the last time Jack set foot in a place of worship, probably the only time. He’s never been one for spirituality. Even that morning, the one he tries so hard to keep from reentering his mind, the presence of God is noticeably absent. The only comfort he recalls is the feeling of his brother’s hand in his, a gesture of solidarity in the face of death. I’m here.

Finn’s not here now, though, and maybe it’s harsh of Jack to see his silent statement back at the funeral as an abject lie now that he sits alone, devoid of the presence of his brother, but it’s not like he can quite help his emotions, or the thoughts that split in his head into fragments, pieces of each other. If a vase breaks, which shard is the original piece? Which thought came first, the thought that Finn had been there for him or the thought that Finn is a liar? (It’s not usually in Jack’s nature to be so philosophical. Maybe he should be cursing the fifth can of cider his palm curves around instead of his brother, who’s nine hours behind and therefore probably unaware even of the anniversary. His brother is rarely to blame, as much as he blames him all the same. In most cases it’s Jack’s fault. Most things are.)

Inhale, exhale, smoke travels through his lungs, swells his airways, the beginnings of a tar clogged artery, perhaps a touch of lung cancer. Self destruction is often so aesthetic. He thinks back to the girls back home, in a line outside the club puffing on ciggies, like a line to the slaughterhouse waiting to be picked up by a guy like Jack, a guy as destructive as the nicotine they’re inhaling. He’d been happy to play along back then, take his pick for the night and take her home, bodies push together into socially expected sex, more out of habit than desire. He didn’t have much desire for anyone back home. He’d never really desired a connection.

Back then, it had been a mark of pride amongst the boys he knew to fuck girls and never call back. Walk them back to the bus stop in the morning, like an empty gesture of nonexistent chivalry, mouths sour with the aftertaste of the night before’s vodka. He’d mastered the system at sixteen, understood the unspoken rules of fucking and leaving and hurting. Attachments had never been his forte at any rate, the questionable morals of secondary school played only to his strengths. He only fucks up once the fucking ends and the feelings begin, once the words he says begin to be taken seriously and suddenly he has to think about them, question the contents of his mouth before it spews out into a mushroom cloud, an atomic bomb of emotional destruction. As much as he pretends otherwise, Jack doesn’t always intent it that way. The hurt is more accidental than he lets on.

The rooftop is cold, and the skyline is unfamiliar. They’ve been in Japan for barely a month at most, he still gets lost every other time he ventures off campus. He’d just gotten past the feeling of unfamiliarity in America when they announced the travel program, and now he gets to be a stranger in a city every month, once again covering the anxious feeling in his stomach with shards of dry wit. Jack’s never been a big fan of change. He’s had too much of that.

Teenagers in Sheffield change quicker, he’s noticed. Or maybe it’s true that when your privilege is lessened, you’re given less time to be a child. They can’t afford to fuck around for their whole lives, or maybe they simply mature quicker in the context of living in a city which never quite seems to wake up on the surface, eternal slumber leading to them finding different occupations for their beds. He’s reminded every time he goes home of his relative immaturity. How dare he exist without responsibility at 19? What has he done to deserve to be different? It’s something Jack has yet to figure out. Possibly, he never will. He’s not sure he actually does deserve to be different. He’s not shown it through his actions yet.

And yet it seems to him as if Finn has always risen above whatever the others had been doing. Known before they had come to the realisation years later that their methods of amusement would never pay off in the real world, known to prepare for things other than just fucking with other people. Maturity. It’s a trait Jack has never managed to acquire, no matter the fact that he’s nineteen now, an adult. A man, people like to remind him on occasion, people like Claire and George and whatever other adult influence he’s managed to come across, despite his best efforts. No, while Finn seems to be aware of social rules and all the things Jack can’t quite crack, Jack stays internally delayed. Maybe it’s a genetic thing. The influence of his mother never moving on, staying in the same place from the moment he was born to the moment he lost her. Passed out on the couch, needle marks staining her arms. A state of arrested development she never quite overcame. Maybe Jack will never overcome either.

It’s hysterical to think that it’s almost a year to the day. The lyrics are churning around his brain, still. It is hysterical. Although he’s not quite sure what’s more hysterical, the fact that he lost her or the fact that it still comes as a surprise to this day when he catches himself reminiscing and is struck again and again, nearly a year later, by the realisation that she’s gone. Shouldn’t he have expected this? Known that she would leave? (Everyone in Jack’s life leaves eventually. It’s a truth, rather than a comment founded in melodrama. Perhaps it’s for the best that his mother doing what everyone before her had chosen to do was not out of her own decision. And then the fact that he’s just felt it was a good thing that his own mother died makes him feel sick to his stomach, the cider tipping back and forth through his intestines. Suddenly, he’s not a nice level of drunk anymore. He’s just sad and tipsy and tired. Tired more than anything else.)

As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, there’s a trap door in Jackson Kelly Fielding’s mind. Whenever it opens - and it’s rarely because he opened it, more often because it forces its way up - he falls back into a pit of memory, hitting each stair of trauma on the way down until he’s lying at the bottom and the world around him is barely a tiny dot of light a hundred and fifty feet above. Then the stupid fucking cinema opens and the curtains draw back, and he’s stuck for hours, reliving every minute, every opportunity he had to save her. Was there a moment? A minute when if he had said one less word, or one more, it would have changed things? Was there a turning point that Jack was too oblivious to see? (He hasn’t found it yet. But he remains certain that he will.)

Tokyo, Japan is eight hours ahead of Sheffield, United Kingdom. Jack’s googled it. It’s one in the morning here, on April 1. In Sheffield, it will be April 1 in seven hours. In seven hours it will be the one year anniversary of his mother shooting up in her flat, alone. Of a sad, solitary death. And it feels so unfair to Jack that in seven hours, as with the year before, the rest of the world will continue living their lives without a thought to someone who lies cold in the ground. It feels so fucking unfair that the sun will rise and rain will fall in some countries and snow in others and people will be laughing and getting engaged and having children, that people will be playing practical fucking jokes on each other and that the event which has torn Jack in two will have had no impact on anyone. It feels damn unfair to Jack that everyone else is allowed a life. That some people are even allowed a mother. He’s allowed neither. His life revolves around his mother, and his mother doesn’t exist.

(And the thought of his mother lying alone in her flat waiting to be found really feels like a punch to the gut. Was she cold? Did it hurt? He could spend endless hours googling if heroin overdoses are painful. If there was any chance she could feel as she slowly ceased to breathe. How long it would have taken before the arms which held him went cold and stiff. And the worst thought of all, the thought of her screaming and screaming inside her coffin underneath the piles upon piles of dirt and Jack being too far away to hear as she suffocated and swallowed the worms. He’s had nightmares of her coming back, her lips curled into an eternal scream as a beetle crawls out and drips onto his bed.) (Maybe this is why they never let Jack see the body. He’s always had an overactive imagination.)

Jack knows Finn doesn’t struggle in this way. Or at least, he assumes so from the brief conversations he has with his brother, held across oceans over the phone or on video call, the blurry impression he gets of his face. Then again, Finn’s maturity just makes it clearer to Jack that there is little of their mother in him. Jack admires the ability to be someone different, in part because it’s something he lacks. He himself is barely more than the sum of his parts: an absent father and a mother who perhaps should have been absent. He often thinks that if their places were swapped and it was Jack laying cold in the ground, the impact on the world would be similar. Or more likely even less. Maybe it would be a day of celebration, since all he ever creates is damage. Damage on those around him, damage to those who dare to show him the slightest bit of affection. Damage to Balo, who has never deserved anything but love. Yes, he thinks the world would be better off without Hurricane Jack. He is an explosion of a person, and the only lasting impact he can hope to leave is the debris of those unfortunate enough to know him.

Inhale, exhale. The smoke is clearer now that the sky is becoming lighter, and he wonders how long he’s been on the roof. Or if it even matters anymore. It’s not like waking up early for lectures and going to class and doing his exams will make much of a difference, because he is still Jack and he’s long since lost hope that he can reinvent himself beyond a name change. He casts his mind back to the teenagers in Sheffield that had held his attention before - and he almost laughs at the idea that he had thought about them with such disdain. How could he? Their bad decisions seem to just create a life which goes a different way, and in Jack’s head nothing they do with that life could ever be as bad as what he has done to the people around him. And what he has done to his own mother. Psychic matricide. Or maybe he just sucked all of her traits from her until there was nothing left to sustain life. It would explain why he has taken on her entire personality. Naturally, he’s too empty to come up with his own, with his own taste in music, with his own appearance, with anything. Originality would require some sort of positive trait.

The sun is starting to rise above the unfamiliar skyline. Another day, and yet it can’t just be another day because it’s still some sick anniversary. One year of his mother being gone. One year of sunrises she hasn’t seen, one year of days she has not checked off of her calendar. One year of mornings in which she hasn’t been able to wake up. For once, when he looks across the view, Jack doesn’t feel the pang of homesickness which usually hits him. Why would he? There is nothing to go back to in Sheffield but memories he’d rather suppress and people he’d mess up even further.

He realises with a jolt that he’s had the same song on loop, without even realising. The last lyrics float into the air: nearly every other word that comes from your mouth keeps me hanging on.

Apt. Even in death, every word that his mother ever said to him rings in his ears as if she’s just saying it now. And every single one is accompanied by a fresh stab of guilt. He’s not familiar with the song, but he makes a mental note to remove it from his playlist regardless. It’s hitting far too close to home.

#self para #musings #drugs tw #death tw #minor gore tw #corpse tw #suicide thoughts tw

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jiminssizzles · 4 years

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sweater weather

Word Count: 1,463

Prompt: the one where Hoseok lends you his sweater. You unconsciously brought it home, only to find his iPod there. Out of curiosity, you opened his iPod, but you saw a playlist there with your name.

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x named reader

Genre: Fluff

Warning: None

Rating: G

PART OF TRIVIA: LOVE {masterlist}

For the millionth time today, you let out your frustration on your keyboard, typing furiously while both of your eyebrows are furrowed. It’s almost Halloween and you’re used to people having more concerns at times like this since office work at banks will not be open on Holidays, thus, they give you all of their questions all at once.

“Just quit,” You heard through your earphones. You rolled your eyes, slightly glancing at your phone in the phone stand. “You know I’ll really do that, Hoseok.” You whispered on your mic. You’re lucky that your desk in the office is in the corner, your back on the wall, which means you get to do video calls with your friends without anyone seeing you.

Hoseok has been your bestfriend for a long time. The two of you don’t talk everyday, but there are days that he bugs you like crazy.. like today. “Just quit if you want to. My business is doing great, I’ll give you your needs like my child.” You chuckled and gently shook your head, “I live in my parent’s house. They will keep me alive, although it’s embarassing.”

He laughed, “Fine. I’m just telling you that I got you always, okay?” You did not bother answering him, you just nod your head to the music that he’s been blasting in the background. Checking on how many hours have you been on call with him, you flinched upon seeing that it has been 4 hours. The guy literally called you after lunch time and refused to end the call even if the two of you aren’t talking, just playing music.

“Just tell me if you don’t like the song, okay?” He said again. You nodded, smiling at your bestfriend who’s wearing shorts and a light green sweater. You have always loved his music taste, no matter what genre, if he’s the one who picked it, you’re sure that you’ll love it.

Pressing the Enter key with greater force than you should, you stretched your arms as you finish another task. You realized that you’re hungry, but going on a break right now would be useless since there’s only 30 minutes left until the end of your office hours. “Hoseokie,” you said.

“Yes, my best girl?” He said sweetly, as if mocking you. “Kiss ass,” You said as a snide remark, making him laugh hard. You love the way he laughs, it always brings you happiness. He laughs like there’s no tomorrow, and the sound of it feels like something blooms inside you every damn time. He is humming to the song Ex by Kiana Lede, “I don’t want to be your, so don’t treat me like your..” He sang lowly.

“..Friend.” You filled in the blanks for him and looked at him teasingly, making him laugh. “If you think that I’m still hung up on my ex, you’re wrong. I know that stare.” You were about to say something when your boss suddenly passed by your desk, eyeing you for a while, which made you stop talking.

When your boss is out of sight, “Hoseokie.” You repeated. “What is it?” He asked. Smiling at him, you tell him what you had in mind. “Let’s have dinner later?” This isn’t a new thing for the two of you. You can stay over at his house and he can stay over yours. You’ve been bestfriends for a long time that these things are normal to you and you stopped caring about what other people say.

Hoseok beamed at you, “Sure!! You’re going out in a while right? I’ll pick you up!” He enthusiastically said, proceeding to grabbing his wallet and car keys. “You’re not gonna end this video call?” He shook his head, “Nah. I still have battery left. You’re the only one I contact anyway.” Before grabbing his phone from the phone dock, you saw him slightly dance while getting ready.

He’s already in his car when you finished your shift. Driving to your workplace gave Hoseok a feeling of satisfaction that he’ll get to see you again. What’s more fun for him is that you’re the one who asked him to dinner. “Why are you smiling? You’re literally alone.” You teased him while walking to your office lobby.

“I’m not alone. I have you.” He said. “Good point. Stop flirting with me.” You said, mocking what he said even if you know that he means it. “You’re my best girl and no one can change my mind.” He insisted. You narrowed your eyes before sitting on the couch in the lobby of your office, “Seriously, Hoseok, my bestfriend, what do you need? You’re too clingy today.” You ask.

“I don’t need anything. I’m just saying what I want to say.” Hoseok stopped the car in front of your office gates, “I’m here. Come out,” He said. You immediately stood up and walked outside the gate. Stepping into his car, you saw him staring at you, “What?”

“You don’t have a coat? It’s cold tonight.” He pointed out. “I know, but I didn’t know that a while ago so just turn your heater on.” He did turn his heater on, but before driving away, he removed his sweater and teasingly threw it to you.

“Use this when we go out later.” You realized that it is a command so you just shrugged it off, “Okay, boss.” Then there was silence… then the two of you laughed without a reason. “Why are you laughing?” You ask.

Hoseok slightly raised his shoulder, “I don’t know. Why are you laughing?” He threw the question back to you. “I’m laughing because you laughed!” You said, wiping the tears from your eyes. “Ya! Eyes on the road!” You said.

You know he’s on his way to your favorite diner near your house. You’ve done this routine for more than a hundred times. He picks you up from work, the two of you have dinner in your favorite diner, then he walks you home because you like walking home.

“Their steak tastes different. It’s more delicious now,” You say while the two of you walk towards your house, you’re wearing his light green sweater. Good thing that he still has an extra long sleeved top so the cold won’t get to him. “You know why it’s delicious?” He asks. “Why?”

“Because I paid for it,” He said, making you laugh and cling on his arms. “Thank you, Hoba!!” He rolled his eyes, “You only call me Hoba when you’re being sweet to me.” You smiled as you arrive at your front door, “I am always sweet to you, Hoba!”

“Whatever you say, let’s meet again next week?” He said, peeking through your window and waving at your parents who are both sitting on the living room couch, watching television. “As long as you pay again,” You joked. “Am I the one who works in a bank?” He asked again, his voice slightly shivering.

The night turned colder as expected so you decided to just end the conversation, “Okay, fine. It’s my treat next week. Now, go run to your car so you don’t get too cold.” He gave you that smile that shows his dimples, “Okay, next week then. Thank you for tonight, Trish. See you next week!” He kissed your cheek before winking and running away.

You were left at your front door staring at his running figure. Touching your cheek that he kissed, you felt how warm it is. It’s the first time he kissed you and for what reason? You don’t know. Opening the front door, your parents greeted you so you just greeted them back and walked to your room, still dumbfounded.

You rubbed your cheeks, Stop.. thinking.. about.. it, Trish. You tapped your cheeks two more times and inserted both of your hands on the front pocket of Hoseok’s sweater. Right, I even forgot to give his sweater back, he must be cold, you thought.

You touched an item inside Hoseok’s front pocket. Pulling it out, you saw that it’s his iPod. You smiled because you love his music taste so much and he’s your bestfriend so it won’t be a problem if you use this, right?

Lying down on your bed, you opened his iPod and went through his playlists. It’s arranged from Newest playlist to Oldest playlist. You were going through it silently when you reached his Oldest playlist, your eyes immediately widening.

Playlist #1: for my best girl, Trish. :)

You bit your lip upon seeing the name of the playlist. Out of curiosity, you opened it, only to see a lot of your favorite songs and a lot of love songs. You suddenly remembered all the times that he listened to a song repeatedly just because you recommended it to him.

Your heart fluttered, maybe you weren’t delusional after all. You pulled your own iPod out of your office bag. You turned it on and went to your Oldest playlist too.

Playlist #1: for hoba. :)

- end -

#ficswithluv #bangtanidx #btswritingcafe #bangtanscenery #btswriterscollective #hoseok fluff #bts hoseok fluff #bts hoseok fic #hoseok fic #bts hoseok drabble #hoseok drabble

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justanotherweedinthelawn · 3 years

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For the prompt list, maybe ”I'm sorry for asking.” with an s/o that asks to be in a poly relationship with Tenko and Himiko after realizing they're in love with both of them? I think this would be a pretty cute idea. 🥰

Oh my god you're right that is a really cute idea anon! I hope I do it justice. ;v; Sorry if Tenko and/or Himiko are ooc btw, I dont know too, too much about their in-game personalities. This is also probably my longest post so far, so yeah. Lemme know if you want a rewrite! Stay safe!

S/o confesses to Tenko and Himiko and ask to be in a poly relationship after realizing they're in love with both of them

You had begun talking to Tenko because she had been walking around the school advertising a magic show between classes. She pretty much went up to every person she saw and at least gave them a flyer. When you saw her walking up to you, you were actually kind of excited. You honestly had your eyes on her for the past week or so. She had just. Caught your eye if you're being honest. You weren't entirely sure why. Maybe it was her enthusiasm.. or maybe her beautiful long hair put into those twisted twintails.. or-

"Hey, there's going to be a magic show on Saturday! You should totally come!"

"O-oh.. uhh.. yeah! Yeah, I'll be there!"

"Seriously?! Thank you! Here's a flyer with more info!"

She hands you a flyer that's pretty well made.

'Come see the amazing Himiko preform tonight!'

That was the header of the flyer. The rest was some info about 'The amazing Himiko' and where she was performing. There was also a picture of her in the middle doing a magic trick.

Oh fuck shes actually kinda cute-

What the hell? You thought you were attracted to Tenko?! Welp. The only way to find out if you're actually attracted to 'The amazing Himiko' is to go to her show.

Well.. you were already planning on going, but you know what you mean!

Saturday comes faster than you anticipate, and you already find yourself in the school gymnasium where the magic show was being held. You walk in and see at least a small group of people in some chairs. You take a seat and like the others wait for the show to begin.

After about 5 minutes, the same girl on the flyer appears on a small stage. She gives an introduction speech and the show begins. She actually performs some really cool tricks!

After the show, everyone else leaves, but you figured right now was better than ever to confront Tenko. And now that you knew you seemed to have a crush on this Himiko girl, might as well talk to them both.

So you walk over to them and introduce yourself.

"Uh, hey, my name is y/n. I just wanted to say that that was really impressive!"

"Nyeh? You really think so?"

"Heck yeah!"

After that, you started talking with the two in the halls, going to lunch together, then outside of school, and soon enough, you three would all hang out often.

Tonight was movie night.

You were so excited, you could barely sit still in your seat during your classes. When lunch came, you noticed Tenko wasnt there.

"Hey Himiko, where's Tenko?"

"Nyeh? Oh, she's sick."

Sick? On movie night? Would it be canceled?

You ask Himiko if movie night is canceled, hoping it's not, as it was the only thing you were looking foward to today.

"Well, I thought we should let her get better and reschedule, but Tenko said she was fine, and that if it got worse, she would reschedule."

Oh thank heavens.

After school, you and Himiko walk to Tenko's house together, which is where you three decided to have movie night tonight. You two walk in and see Tenko on her couch, seemingly half asleep.

"Tenko?"

"Huh..? Oh!"

She immediately jolts up after realizing it's you two.

"Sorry theres no snacks, I'll go get some."

She gets up and slowly walks to the kitchen as you two walk in and close the door. You stop Tenko before she reaches the kitchen.

"You sit down. I'll handle the snacks."

"But-"

"No buts. You're sick. Now go, sit."

You turn Tenko around and lightly push her towards the couch. She complies and sits down next to Himiko, who begins talking to her. You begin making snacks. Popcorn, some drinks, etc., plus some soup for Tenko. (It was canned, so you weren't sure if it was actually gonna do anything, but the gesture was still there.)

After you're done making snacks, you sit down next to Himiko. You realize Tenko had gotten up. You look around a little trying to see where she went, when you suddenly see Tenko headed straight for you two with a giant blanket. You barely have time to react before Tenko tackles you both, hugging you close.

Tenko begins laughing and you two join her. Once you three get settled in the blanket on the couch, you begin to pick out a movie.

You three decide on watching the classic, A Nightmare On Elm Street. After you three watch that, you kinda just put on a cheesy romance film so you can just relax.

You three end up snuggling up close and falling asleep. Before you fell asleep, you had a thought about how nice this was, and how you wish it could last forever. After you fell asleep, you had an amazing dream where all three of you were just huddled close and sitting peacefully in a field.

Then, Himiko kisses you.

You immediately shoot awake, your face going red. As you begin to calm down, you start to think about it.

You absolutely had feelings for both of them.

You didnt wanna choose between them though...

Was there a way to..?

You doubted it.

But the thought just kept appearing. It had literally been two days and you kept wondering.

Alright, that's enough.

As soon as you got home, you got onto your computer to do some research.

It only takes you a few minutes to find out about polyamorous relationships. You do some deeper digging for about an hour before coming to the conclusion that you think you want to be in a polyamorous relationship with the two people you love the most.

But would they agree on it?

You hoped so, especially since the two had known eachother for longer than you had known them.

You decided to wait until your next hangout to ask them. Luckily, the next hangout was at your house, so you decide to do something special.

You three were supposed to have a study session together and then have a sleepover.

So you decide to add a few things you hope mix all three of your personalities and interests.

You three had given eachother access to each others music playlists, so you decide to take a bunch of songs from all of your playlists and put them into one special playlist. You even add in a few songs that just remind you of the three of you.

You buy some magic supplies that Himiko particularly likes, and you also grab a spare yoga mat you have so you can make some padding for Tenko to practice some of her moves on. You had also added a few things you liked.

You had also decided to buy a little projector that projects a galaxy onto the ceiling as if you were stargazing outside. The galaxy even moved as if it were the real sky! A few shooting stars pop up as well at some points.

And to top it all off, you had bought everyone's favorite snacks.

*Knock, knock, knock*

Perfect.

You answer the door and see two beautiful smiling faces that you adored.

"Come on in!"

You three complete your study session in about three hours, with Himiko almost falling asleep about four times.

At this rate you were afraid Himiko wasnt even gonna stay awake long enough for your confession.

They were also a little shocked by the special playlist.

"Who's music are we gonna play for this session?"

"Well actually, I made a special playlist with a mix of our songs on it, if you'd like to play it."

"Woah, really y/n? Of course we're gonna play it! You worked hard on it afterall!"

You play it, and you find its actually really nice to have a mix of songs you all love.

After that, you three head to your room for the sleepover part of your hangout.

You tell the two about your setup of activities and they both smile.

"Wow y/n, you really did a lot for this hangout!"

"Yeah.. just felt like doing something special today."

"Well me and Himiko really appreciate it!"

Tenko then grabs you and Himiko and hugs the two of you close.

You feel your heart stop and your face grow red.

Oh my god they're sO CUTE-

You three each do separate activities and show off for a few hours while eating snacks. Himiko didnt even seem to be tired, so you hoped she would last until your confession.

After you three show off to eachother, you all lie down and you turn on the little projector, to which you smile.

Perfect.

This is perfect.

"Hey, are you guys still awake?"

"Yep."

"Mhmm."

"I wanted to ask you guys something really important."

Tenko sits up.

"Yeah of course, what's up?"

Your heart begins racing faster than Usain Bolt and you can feel your face grow as red as an apple, and you are so glad the other two cant see you right now.

"I- er- uh..."

You sit up as well.

"I... like you guys.."

You barely whisper it, but they seem to hear you.

Himiko sits up surprisingly quick and you can see Tenko go wide eyed.

"Huh?"

"Wha?!"

You get up and turn the light on so you can see their faces.

Tenko is indeed wide eyed and her face looks like someone had painted it red.

Himiko is also wide eyed and almost as red as her hair.

"Are.. are you serious y/n?"

"Yes. One hundred percent."

"Well.. I think I like you too. I just never really wanted to acknowledge it.."

"Really?"

"Yeah.."

"Himiko?"

"Nyeh.. I uh.. I like you too.."

So that part went well.

Now for the bigger question.

"Do you guys wanna.. be in a polyamorous relationship?"

...

Both of them seemed to grow confused.

"I'm sorry for asking, that was kinda sudden!"

Tenko gets up and walks towards you.

She has a soft smile on her still flushed face.

"We have no idea what that means y/n."

"Oh."

You sit back down and end up explaining what a polyamorous relationship is, and throughout it you can feel your face get warmer, and you can see the same happening to Himiko and Tenko.

After you're done explaining, the room is silent, but all of you were extremely red.

"Sooo..."

"I agree."

Tenko said that and you looked up to see her looking at you with the same soft smile.

You loved that smile.

She took both of your hands into hers.

"I really do like- no- love, both of you. I've honestly had a crush on Himiko for the longest time. I just couldn't bring myself to say anything like y/n. But.. now that you're both here, my life truly is complete."

Wow. You had always suspected Tenko had a thing for Himiko.

"Nyeh.. I swear, if you two get any cuter, I'm gonna kiss you."

You turn around to look at Himiko who was smiling.

"I love you both as well."

You're heart flutters at this.

The two people you loved the most were now your lovers.

Lovers. Heh. You never thought this dream would come true.

Himiko did in fact kiss you two, and you both kissed her back. It was really cute, but clearly none of you knew how to kiss.

#danganronpa #danganronpa imagines #kai imagine #sunset souda #writing prompt #tenko chabashira #himiko yumeno #polyamorus

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fucking-zawa-sensei · 6 years

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My FanFic Masterlist:

My fanfic tab is a little messy with reblogs, so I’ve compiled all of my fics into this masterlist, with small summaries for each. Click the titles to be taken to the post.

Search “fanfic masterlist” on my blog to find this post easily. I will continue to update it as I post more fics.

Thanks for following and reading my fics. I am so incredibly happy I decided to make this blog and write for the BNHA fandom. This has been such a fun experience. Thank you to everyone who was here from the start, too. I love you all.

As a reminder, you can also find all of my writing under the “My Fanfiction” tab on my blog. Most of it is also on AO3 (Say_Jay).

Fics:

After Effects - Takes place after chapter 159 of the manga. Hurt/comfort from both Aizawa and Yamada. Aizawa deals with this guilt over the incidents withthe precepts and Yamada deals with his fears of losing the one he loves.

After Hours - Aizawa and Yamada both work late on Fridays, but unlike most nights, their schedules sync up, and they get to come home together. They unwind from their work and indulge in some cuddles. This is super fluffy.

Don’t Kid Yourself - Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]My multichapter angst fic, completed 9/9 chapters. It’s a very painful, slow burn that’s honestly hard to describe. Through much struggle and many confused feelings, Aizawa and Yamada figure out what love is.

Shots Fired - I forgot to rate this one, but it’s Mature for Violence (I am not kidding, take this seriously). This is another hurt/comfort fic. I can’t get into the details without giving away the twist.

Chilly Afternoon - At some point I discovered I needed to stop hurting Aizawa and Yamada. So I made them a nice little coffee date in the snow. Pure fluff. It’s a short read.

Soft - Short, sweet, fluff. Tumblr exclusive. This one is only a few hundred words.

Ice It - Yamada takes a beating doing some hero work and heads to Aizawa’s to get patched up. Aizawa takes care of him and Yamada lets a confession slip.

Drop the Beat - They’ve been on the hero scene for a few years, but have lost touch. Aizawa follows a lead on a villain to a shady bar and is surprised to find a certain unforgettable blond doing a DJ side gig. Aizawa and Yamada team up to take down the villain. Everything doesn’t quite go as planned. This the most action-intensive fic I’ve written.

Overworked - Aizawa is the last person that should be trying to convince someone to take a break and get some sleep, but Yamada’s been pushing himself too hard and someone has to do it. This is domestic fluff.

Bask - Aizawa and Yamada share a sweet, fluffy date in the park.

Oblivious - High school fic, Yamada’s parents gave him up as a baby and now he’s throwing a party at the children’s home he lives at. Aizawa is helplessly oblivious to the whole situation, but comes out to support his friend and learn a little.

Hold me Closer - A short drabble. Yamada has a nightmare and Aizawa holds him through it.

Warmth - A thank you fic for reaching 800 followers. This follows Aizawa and Yamada through a sweet Saturday, from morning to night, spending time together, and generally being so damn cute it will rot your teeth.

A Hero’s Work - A short drabble, Aizawa’s POV, reflecting after a particularly trying battle with a group of villains.

Not Without Trying - Chapters: [1] A three chapter fic where Aizawa and Yamada adopt Eri.

Painted Hearts - Shouta loves his mom. She picks him up from school and runs her fingers through his hair and every day they paint beautiful pictures together. Until they don’t.

Black Tie - EXPLICIT, Yamada receives a prestigious award for his radio show, and in a rather unprecedented turn of events, Aizawa doesn’t put up a fight when his husband requests he tag along to the black tie ceremony. Yamada doesn’t put a fight when Aizawa quickly yanks said black tie off when they get home.

Prove Me Wrong - Short angst drabble

Matchmaker - Over the months Aizawa had been training him, it was impossible for Shinsou not to notice how often Yamada would show up to pick Aizawa up after their sessions. It was even more impossible not to notice the way the tired, reserved man never once told the blond to stop draping himself over his shoulders or laughing in his ear. If Shinsou didn’t know any better, he’d say Aizawa liked Yamada. Actually, that just might be the case.Shinsou reports this and an idea to get the two teachers to notice the other’s feelings to his newfound friend, Midoriya. Kayama overhears their conversation and offers her help. Class 1-A plays matchmaker.

Room for me? - Short drabble. Mic wants to take a nap with Aizawa in the staff room. Fluff.

Take Your Time - Drabble. Yamada needs some time and Aizawa is there to help.

On Patrol - EXPLICIT, Hizashi suggests they make an easy, early weekday patrol more interesting with a vibrator. This leads to some hot and heavy sex in an alley.

These Days Come and Go - Written for the prompt “Date Night” for ersaermicweek2018. Shouta has had a rough week and Hizashi decides to plan the perfect day to help him relax, but things don’t go as planned.

Break Me, Baby - EXPLICIT, Bottom Mic. They’d been at this for at least an hour now. Hizashi was beyond well prepped, this wasn’t necessary, but he’d asked to be brought to the edge and when Shouta had asked are you sure? Hizashi had responded with Yes, and when I get there, drag me over it.

Shatterproof - Chapters: [1] [2] [3] Ongoing multi-chapter fic co-written with @aizawashovta full of emotional angst and healing. Shouta and Hizashi deal with their insecurities and helping each other overcome them.

I Need Time - Drabble. Mic lies to Aizawa. Will probably continue this into a larger story at some point.

Soaring - Drabble. Shouta and Hizashi share a moment in the park, studying birds.

100 Ways to Say I Love You - An ongoing collection of 100 fics, each one a different way Aizawa and Yamada show their love to one another in more than just words. Co-written with @aizawashovta

Before You Go - Shouta’s latest case requires some undercover work in another district, pulling him away from Hizashi for a lengthy amount of time. As the days grow closer to Shouta’s departure, Hizashi struggles to let go.

Temper - A short drabble in which Hizashi loses his temper and Shouta does his best to support him through it.

Don’t do the Dew - A fun, sort of silly short fic in which Hizashi makes a disastrous breakfast and bears with the consequences.

Support - Short fic, in which Hizashi deals with some trauma after being captured and Shouta comforts him.

Kittens and Tea - Drabble. They were supposed to go on a date to a tea shop, but Shouta spots a fluffy little kitten waiting for a home.

Rainy Day - Drabble. Shouta and Hizashi cuddle together on a rainy day.

Play me a Song, DJ - Drabble. Shouta helps Hizashi build a playlist for his radio show.

Credit - Drabble. Shouta and Hizashi bicker over whether a student should get credit on a test. Things get a little angsty.

No Rest While You’re Away - Aizawa is captured and tortured and the only thing keeping him going is Hizashi.

I Will Be Your Hands - Small fic. Post - USJ, Shouta can’t use his hands, but Hizashi is there to support him.

How it is - Small fic. Hizashi breaks a table.

More than This - Chapters: [1] Angsty mutual pining fic, in which both Hizashi and Shouta want more than sex from the other, but are having a lot of trouble figuring that out. Lots of jealousy. Slow burn. Lots of pain. Eventual happy ending.

Drowned Out - Drabble. Very angsty. Major Character death.

Riptide - Chapters: [1][2] Mermaid AU - Hizashi is a siren and Shouta is a ship captain. “Hizashi had been stunning since the first moment he laid eyes on him, lazing against the small cluster of rocks out in the open waves, but there’s something different about him now. Shouta’s heart feels like it skips, thrown across a pond, skidding across the surface before finally breaking the tension, dropping down into the depths.”

Burned - Hizashi’s speaker is decimated, his neck no better, and the stiff back of the hospital waiting room chairs aren’t doing Shouta’s nerves any favors either.

Relief - Sequel to burned, in which Hizashi comes home from the hospital and Shouta helps take care of him.

Fever - Takes place in the same story line as Burned and Relief, a short ficlet in which Hizashi gets a fever.

Dango - Hizashi finally gets his dango. Takes place in the same story line as Burned and Relief.

It’s Been a While - Continuation of the Burned story line. Hizashi’s speaker is repaired.

Run - Small ficlet from the casino au story I’ll be working on. Hizash is a genius card counter and Aizawa is his body guard.

Separate - Sad, 500 word drabble, in which Shouta ends up alone.

Can We Keep Him? - 1st place raffle prize. A 5k fic about Hizashi and Shouta fostering kittens in their spare time. Super fluffy.

Witch/Wizard au:

Here are the little ficlets/posts building on the witch au I’ve yet to really start the full fic for yet. A brief explanation of the general au. A little ficlet of Hizashi coming home from travel. Some info on All Might’s place in the au. Hizashi hatching a dragon egg. And then check out @bethhankel ‘s blog for some amazing art! Her art and talking to her about this au were what made me start writing it, so definitely go check that out!

Passing - Part of the above Witch/Wizard AU. It’s short and angsty. Hizashi loses a dragon.

Revenge - Part of the above Witch/Wizard AU, occurring after Passing, where Hizashi struggles with his grief.

Sting - A short ficlet in which Shouta deals with the nerve damage caused after USJ.

#fanfiction #erasermic fanfiction #masterlist #fanfic masterlist #maizawa fanfiction #maizawa #erasermic #aizawa shouta #present mic #yamada hizashi #eraserhead #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #aizawa shouta/yamada hizashi #aizawa

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soldierstark · 7 years

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Why Am I Like This | Part 2 | JUGHEAD JONES X READER

Description: After finding out his best friend is in love, Archie tricks Jughead into telling him who the girl is later that evening. He's sworn to secrecy which makes lunch the next day difficult when Kevin, Veronica, Betty, and the reader keep asking questions about the mystery girl.

Word Count: 1856

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

When Archie found out that Jughead was in love, the first person who popped into his head was (Y/N) though he didn’t dare say that in front of the others. He wanted to make sure before he said anything. She and Jughead were as close as could be and had a type of chemistry that just didn’t fizzle out.

He was also suspicious of the fact that the minute (Y/N) started talking about the possibility of going to the homecoming dance with Matthew Jackson, Jughead left without any rhyme or reason. Coincidence? He thought not.

The stairs leading up to Archie and Jughead’s shared bedroom creaked under the weight of Archie’s footsteps. His dad was still downstairs watching TV, creating a nice background noise.

“Hey man,” Jughead acknowledged when Archie stepped into the room. Archie watched as Jughead flipped through flashcards whilst laying down on his makeshift bed.

Archie kicked off his shoes and sat down on his bed facing Jughead. “What are you studying for?” he asked when his eyes fell upon the flashcards in Jughead’s hands.

“Biology prefixes and suffixes,” was his answer. “I don’t understand why we even have to learn these things. Biology is a class for science not latin roots.”

Archie unzipped his backpack and took out Jughead’s laptop and placed it on the floor next to him, a plan being conjured up in his mind. “Want me to help you study? I need to learn those too.”

Jughead sat up and put his laptop in his lap. “Would you? That would be extremely helpful.” He opened it and started doing who knows what while handing Archie the flashcards.

“Yea no problem,” Archie replied grasping the cards. “I’ll read the prefix and suffix then you tell me the meaning. Okay?”

Jughead nodded absentmindedly only half paying attention, his mind focused on his computer. Perfect.

“Dia-,” Archie said then flipped the card over.

“Between,” Jughead answered without looking up the screen.

“Fuse-.”

“Pour.”

“Grat-.”

“Pleasing.”

“How long have you been in love with (Y/N)?”

“Four months,” Jughead replied without hesitation. His posture went rigid as his head whipped up to meet Archie’s eyes. “Shit.”

Archie let out a laugh and clapped his hands together. “I knew it!”

Jughead sighed and closed his laptop. “How did you find out?”

“Just a hunch,” Archie replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

It was silent for a moment until Jughead let out a gasp of blasphemy. “You went through my computer didn’t you!” he accused pointing a finger at Archie’s chest.

Archie nodded sheepishly. “Yea we did I’m sorry but you seriously need to put a password on that thing.”

Jughead shook his head in confusion and looked down at his feet. “Okay that explains how you knew I was in love but not anywhere in any document did I use a name. How did you-,” he stopped talking mid-sentence and looked back up at Archie. “Wait we? You said we did. Please tell me you all didn’t read it.”

“Kevin and Veronica made us! They shoved the computer at (Y/N) and I and after seeing their reactions we couldn’t not read it Jughead. It’s not even that big of a deal none of them even know who you were writing about and I promise I won’t say anything,” Archie informed trying to put his friend at ease.

With a groan Jughead laid back down on his bed and rubbed his face with his hands. “Sure they don’t know now Archie, but our friends are nosy as hell, case and point. Plus Betty is a very good detective so it won’t be long until they all find out which will suck because (Y/N) definitely doesn’t feel the same way.”

“Jughead you don’t know that for sure,” Archie said in a soft voice.

“Alright then, tell me this then,” Jughead quipped looking over at Archie. “When you guys were reading that document, did (Y/N) seem upset at all? Did she storm out full of jealousy or cry because of a broken heart?”

Archie didn’t know what to say and after a moment of silence Jughead looked away.

“Exactly.”

The dead leaves from various trees crunched under my boots as I approached the lunch table my friends and I usually sat at outside. I wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed them against the thin fabric of my shirt trying to generate some heat.

“Hey there (Y/N) enjoying the weather?” Betty said with a laugh as I got within eye sight.

I took a seat next to Jughead and put my hands between my thighs trying to keep them warm. He gave me a smile which I returned, my heart rate speeding up slightly. I could feel heat rise to my cheeks but if anyone noticed my blushing they blamed it on the wind chill.

I looked away from Jughead and replied to Betty’s greeting. “Not particularly. I wore my one jacket this morning when I ran and it got all sweaty and gross. I didn’t think to bring another one because I didn’t think it would be this cold mid-day.”

“Aw sucks to be you,” Kevin said before taking a bite out of his sandwich.

I glared at him halfheartedly then turned towards Jughead. “Unzip your jacket,” I demanded.

He choked on whatever he was eating and started coughing violently. Archie gave him a look that I couldn’t quite decipher but I ignored it. After Jughead regained his composure he looked at me in confusion. “What?”

“I’m freezing cold and you’re a furnace Jughead I want your body heat,” I explained trying to sound nonchalant. He gave me one last weird look but did as I asked.

I moved closer to him and reached my arms under his jacket and around his chest, hugging him tightly. Jughead wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back soothingly. My head rested on his chest and I could hear the erratic beating of his heart through his sweater.

“Did you run here or something Jughead your heart is beating really fast,” I mumbled keeping my eyes closed, relishing the warmth.

Archie snorted and I opened one eye to look at him from across the table. “What’s so funny ginger?”

“Nothing, there’s just, uh, a girl just tripped over, uh, tripped over a stick. Yea a girl just tripped over a stick,” he stuttered looking interested in his food all of a sudden. I knew he was lying but I didn’t push it. I was really comfortable in Jughead’s arms.

Veronica cleared her throat. “Speaking of girls,” she said with a tone of mischief.

Jughead’s chest rumbled with a deep groan while the sound of Kevin, Archie, Veronica, and Betty’s laugh filled me ears. I sat up and removed myself from Jughead, missing his warmth almost immediately.

“C’mon can we please not talk about this,” Jughead begged twiddling his thumbs nervously. A faint blush appeared on his cheeks contrasting with his jet black hair and blue eyes. He looked handsome as hell but I kept quiet though I was screaming on the inside.

“Aw c’mon guys leave him be. He doesn’t want to talk about her alright,” Archie said before taking a bite of his granola bar.

“Wait are saying her as in, like, you know who she is?” Betty asked leaning forward to get a good look at Archie.

He stopped chewing and looked at Jughead with wide eyes. “You promised you wouldn’t say anything,” Jughead reminded Archie who nodded in response.

Archie shallowed his food. “Yes I know who she is but out of respect for my bro I’m not gonna give up any information.”

Betty raised an eyebrow. “I don’t get why you’re being so secretive about this Jughead. I mean we all get crushes you shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about it. Just tell us who she is we probably don’t even know her there’s hundreds of girls in Riverdale,” she said gesturing with her arms.

Jughead shook his no and crossed his arms, leaning against the table. “You know as well as I do that word travels fast around here. If I tell all of you the whole town will know by the end of week which is the problem. She can never find out I like her.”

“Okay well now I’m thinking that we do know her which is why you won’t tell us,” I piped up tilting my head to the side.

“Alright I’m gonna done talking about this guys. Okay? I fell in love with a girl who doesn’t like me back and she’ll never know because I’ll never tell her. I mean she has no reason to like me I’m a hot mess so I don’t blame her. The whole situation is almost as depressing as one of Archie’s songs,” Jughead grumbled then took a sip of his drink. “Hey, you should write a song about my love life Archie. Your songs are always depressing as hell and my love life is a dam Greek tragedy. Just your cup of tea.”

Despite the sardonic humor in his statement I let out a laugh causing everyone to look at me. “What? He’s funny okay,” I trailed off taking a sip from my water bottle.

“Archie you’re not gonna sing something depressing at the Homecoming dance are you? Cause we need something you know happy,” Betty asked. “It needs to be something people want to dance too we already have a band doing the slow songs.”

Kevin scoffed. “This gonna be interesting. I’ve never once heard Archie sing a peppy song.”

“Yea there’s a reason for that because I sing stuff that I write and what I write isn’t happy,” Archie said running a hand through his red hair.

“Why don’t you just do a cover of a song instead of writing one?” Veronica suggested.

“Yea! Hey Archie if you want I can help you pick out a song? I have a lot of happy dancing music in my running playlist. I’ll be at the gym after school running on the treadmill until like 5:30, 6:00. Your welcome to come keep me company and in exchange I’ll help you figure out your performance,” I offered with a smile.

Archie sighed in relief. “Really (Y/N)? That would be great thank you so much. Hey, why don’t we sing together?”

My eyes widened. “Seriously? You want me to perform with you?”

“If you want to then yea I think it would be fun to have a friend up there with me,” he shrugged. “What do you say?”

I grinned and clapped my hands together excitedly. “Oh this gonna be so fun Archie yea I’ll do it.”

Jughead turned his head towards me, a piece of hair falling into his face. “I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff,” he said, his blue eyed boring into mine.

“Well there’s a first time for everything Jug. Plus what could go wrong?” I asked rhetorically.

I didn’t know it yet, but the Homecoming dance would forever change my relationship with Jughead. In a good or bad way you ask? Well you’ll just have to wait and see.

#Jughead jones #Jughead jones x reader #Jughead x reader #Jughead fanfiction #Jughead jones fanfiction #fanfiction #off #riverdale #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale x reader #Jughead jones imgaine #Jughead jones fic #riverdale fic

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wait-what-no-way · 7 years

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Interview with LADY ECHO

“Born in South Miami during the mid-1980’s, Emerald (also known as Echo or Lady Echo) grew up as the youngest and only daughter in a family of three boys. As a young girl, her favorite activity was riding on the back pegs of her oldest brother’s bike while being taught how to read the signatures of Graffiti artists from around their neighborhood. By 1994, Emerald had a “tag” and was learning how to use spray paint. In 1999, she began pursuing Graffiti and Art as a passion. She attended a pre-college program at Pratt Institute in New York City (just before 9/11) during the summer of 2001, receiving only a month of formal training in painting, drawing and art history. She has continued painting ever since. Many of Emerald’s works can be found interacting in public spaces throughout the United States and Europe, or rolling along freight lines from the United States to Mexico and Canada.” (Emeraldartstudio.com)

So since your last interview in 2008, how has life been?

Life has been real! Lots of ups and downs in the past eight years. My best friend OiL died the year following that interview... I went into a bad depression. Poke BS, the only person in NYC who looked out for me at that time, died 8 months later. My older brother died a year and half after that.

In a span of 2 years, my protectors, the men who (although would give me so much shit in between us) wouldn’t let anyone fuck with me, were taken before I could realize how valuable they were. I spent the next several years in a bad place. It took a lot to figure out how to be happy again. I’m still kinda traumatized, I panic that the people I care about are going to die all the time. I panic that I’m going to die all the time – which is why I am constantly producing as much as I can. I don’t really party anymore, I don’t drink anymore, I don’t socialize very often, I stay in and I work on my legacy. I feel immense pressure to create while I still can. I feel immense pressure to leave things on good terms with people I care about as much as I can. I know how fragile life is, I’ve learned that even the strongest bonds are temporary, and I no longer take it for granted.

Also, since my last interview, Nekst - arguably one of the strongest American bombers in our current generation of Graffiti, passed away. Iz the Wiz passed away. Sace passed away. Countless other Graffiti writers have also died. Does this mean we, as Graffiti writers, are a culture of troubled people who will die young in higher percentages? I’m not sure but I’m well aware of the possibility.

Aside from that - technology has changed at a super rapid rate in the past 8 years. Smart phones became a thing, pay phones went extinct, social media emerged, instagram replaced Flickr (for me), information is being shared and spread at rates faster than ever before in our civilization, food (and nearly anything) can now be ordered through an app on your phone. It’s an interesting time to be alive!

When did you start writing?

I learned about Graffiti as an 8 year-old in the early 90’s - and even had a tag, E.C.K., but didn’t actually start seriously writing until 1999.

How many trains do you think you’ve painted since you started?

I honestly have no idea how many.. It’s gotta be in the hundreds, maybe even a thousand or more? It takes a lot of cars before you actually make a dent. I hope one day my panels get a catalogue raisonne like fancy artists do with their art works.

What was your first train painting experience like?

Clumsy and inexperienced! Growing up in Miami, I spent most of my life in sandals. My dumb ass walked into the freight yard with flip-flops and busted my big toe on a pile of rocks within 45 seconds of being in there.. My foot bled the entire time I painted, but I finished my piece - on a Chessie System coal car. I still have a scar from that day.

Some writers love painting trains more than walls. What about you?

I prefer trains. I love smooth metal on clean trains but also love working on the rough, rusted surfaces of freights. Trains come more naturally to me than a clean wall. A panel that will end up moving with a train is more forgiving and less intimidating for me than a flat wall that will blatantly showcase any mistakes I make.

As an artist, what’s your favorite medium to use other than spray paint?

Stainless steel. I love welding and if you weld it properly, stainless steel will produce a rainbow of colors from the oxidation of the metal.

I also like epoxy resin, it allows me to make sculptures out of objects like used spray cans.

What was the most thrilling experience you’ve ever had while you were out painting?

Hmmm. Graffiti is always kind of a thrill for me, regardless of how big, little or insignificant what I’m doing is.. There are different kinds of thrills for me with painting - some are fun, but some are hectic. Seeing my work running years later is a thrill for me. Discovering new mediums and new instruments is a thrill. Recently doing fire extinguisher tags thrilled the shit out of me - like, had me smiling all night and doing a little back-it-up dance kinda thrill.

Guess the most direct answer: I haven’t had a most thrilling experience yet, cuz I never know what to expect, the thrills just keep coming :)

What type of music do you enjoy listening to while you’re painting a canvas or any type of work outside of the streets?

I listen to music literally all day (if I’m not listening to the news), it helps me work and it just feels necessary. I’m probably more into music than I am into art - even though I’ve never made music or ever had an interest in trying.

I listen to all kinds of music: Rap, Hiphop, Soul, R&B, Folk, Metal, Alternative, Jazz, Pop, Electronic, etc, etc, etc. Obscure stuff as well as super mainstream. Just depends on my mood or the feeling I need or want at the time. Music gives me a physical reaction, so certain songs feel better than others and sometimes I overdo songs that make me feel really good - to the point they no longer feel good and I can’t stand to hear them ever again.

My favorite song, since 1992, is “Minds is Playing Tricks on Me” by Gheto Boys - The melody really spoke to me as a kid and it can still give me chills if the mood is right. Since then, my other favorite is “In a Sentimental Mood” by John Coltrane.

My favorite albums of all time are “Live and Dangerous” by Thin Lizzy, “Ready to Die” by Notorious BIG, “Table Scraps” by MHZ (Megahertz), “Give Up” by The Postal Service.

I was going to start listing artists that I like but it would take forever. Instead, if people are interested in my music taste, they can check out the playlists on my youtube channel: youtube.com/c/emeraldartstudio. So far I’ve made 3 lists: Dance party station, Rap station and Soul station. I listen to these playlists all the time and I add to them whenever I have a free moment.

What’s your favorite aspect of Graffiti? Is it piecing, hand-styles, throw-ups, or everything?

My favorite aspect of Graffiti is that one can never run out of surfaces on which to get up or instruments to do it with. I love tagging, I love throwups and I enjoy piecing too. It’s all fun to me, but some endeavors require more work than others. Tags and throwups are quick but require more strategy than a piece sometimes, even though a piece can be grueling effort-wise.

I prefer to paint super readable spots that will be seen in motion, whether the surface is moving (train, truck etc.) or the viewers are moving (trainline spot, highway spot, etc).

What’s you biggest motivator/ inspiration that drives you everyday to be creative? That skirt you made the line of drips on was rad as hell.

My biggest motivator is death. Like I mentioned before, since so many people close to me have died unexpectedly, I have a panic inside of me that I’m gonna die very soon. I’m extremely concerned with my legacy and I think the work I leave behind is what matters.

As for inspiration - I’m just a creative person. My mind searches for that “new new” all the time. I like to experiment and try stuff that I’ve never seen, I like to put new spins on traditional things. Monotony exasperates me, I can’t even walk down my own street the same way more than a few times. I’m constantly exploring. I like to go where I’ve never been. I like to have fun and be silly, even if I’m alone, there’s never a boring day.

Glad you like the skirt with ink drips! It was a spin on an idea I had for photoshoot with black drips on skin, combined with my obsession for edding ink + the recurring theme of edding ink in my artwork. I wanted something funky to wear out that night and nothing in my closet was cool enough so somehow I had the idea of dripping black ink on my white skirt and took the risk. The dried ink was smudging at first so I sprayed it with rusto clear coat to seal it. The ink stained the vegan leather of the skirt, but the sexy surface black ended up cracking off by the end of the night. It was a one-time item, but very fun to rock!

What’s the coolest place you’ve ever had the opportunity to paint in? (State, country, abandon spots wise.)

Hmmm… I think one of the coolest places to paint that I’ve come across is an abandoned factory in New Jersey - I have bad memory for some details so I can’t remember who took me to find it (maybe Tacoe). The factory had several floors, lots of walls, and old locker rooms for the workers, with a lot of stuff still in the lockers (including old porn magazines which I know I have photos of somewhere). For a while after we found it, I was the only person painting there along with whoever I selected from NYC to join me. I think I had like 5-6 pieces in there in the course of a few months. It was super cool to have an entire building painted with Graffiti that I basically got to curate.

Aside from that, I’ve had the opportunity to paint a freight spot that’s near the ocean. I’m a big fan of ocean, and a big fan of freights, so getting to combine the two is almost surreal. Imagine finishing an end to end, high as hell on paint fumes, looking up at the bright moon and stars, hearing ocean waves crashing as the moonlight melts onto your piece. It’s like a dream.

What’s the creepiest thing you’ve ever experienced in an abandoned spot?

Never really had too many creepy things happen while painting, but the creepiest thing that’s ever happened in my life was on a “work” road trip with detour to the Grand Canyon. I was travelling with a friend, we were staying close to the monument the night before and had planned to visit in the morning. We requested a room with two beds, but when we got to the room there was only one bed.. We soon discovered there was a door in the room which led to another room which had its own bed and bathroom. We assumed they either gave us the suite on purpose without saying so or that it was an accident, but we decided to use the second room either way.

I locked the manual door latch (which prevents the door from being opened even if someone has a key) and proceeded to wash my face and get ready for bed. B was in the room next to me and spoke to me thru the connecting door, told me he had to grab his shorts from the car so he could shower and would be right back. I was in the bathroom and heard a door slam closed.

When I finished I walked out, I heard B’s shower going next door but noticed the door latch on my door (in the second kinda sketch room) was open - which I thought was weird cuz B could have walked out of his own room - especially since we didn’t even know if we should be in the second room and he saw me make a point to latch the door when we first walked in.

I relatched the door and waited in B’s room watching tv. When B got out of the shower, I asked him if we could use his door only to go in and out of the room so that the door of the second room I was in would stay locked. I explained that when I got out of the bathroom my door latch was open and I was concerned someone could just walk in if they had the key.

“Emerald, but I didn’t go out of the door of that room. I went out of this door. Yours should have stayed locked, I didn’t unlock it.”

I looked at him in shock. “Are you fucking with me right now?”

“No, I swear.”

We both walked back into the second room and the door latch (which I had JUST reclosed) was open again. This time there was no possible way that B had opened it. We closed it again and watched to see if it was faulty and might open on its own. It didn’t. I got chills up my arms and tears started streaming down my face. B was in shock too, he didn’t know how to handle me crying but I could tell he believed I wasn’t fucking with the door latch either.

I ended up grabbing all my shit out of the second room and slept in the same bed as my homie that night. We both agreed it was probably a ghost and that the motel we were staying at had probably been built on some ancient Native American burial ground or something. I still get tears when I think of it. Creepiest shit ever.

This is probably a difficult question to ask, but what’s the most monumental piece you’ve ever done?

Hmmmm… I hope I haven’t done it yet! I hope I still outdo everything I’ve ever done. I don’t want to be stagnant. I don’t want my highest achievement to be in the past, I want it to happen as often as possible.

Most people probably wouldn’t know you have a dog unless they follow you on Instagram or actually know you. (Who, by the way is very cute.) What made you decide to get a dog and how has she changed your life

I’ve wanted a dog for a while and circumstances finally aligned for it to happen.

Also, after so many super disappointing experiences with disloyal people, I figured adopting a dog would be a safer bet than trying to connect with another person who betrays me. I rescued a pitbull mix and she’s changed my life in a lot of ways - it’s like having a kid, I take care of her before I take care of myself. She’s so smart and makes me laugh all the time with the things she does. She’s really strong and fast, but is the sweetest little thing ever + possibly a winner for the world’s best snuggler award.

I can’t imagine living without her but have already prepared myself for the fact that dogs have 13-15 yr lifespans. I get mixed emotions sometimes when I watch her sleep - relief and shock that they almost killed her at a shelter and then kinda sad knowing I’m probably gonna outlive her and that there will be no other creature just like her. Aside from that and all the work involved, having a dog is the coolest thing ever!

What do your parents know about your Graffiti lifestyle?

My dad died when I was a kid, so I was raised by my mom and brothers. Yes, they know about it - in general, not necessarily all the details of what the lifestyle involves but they know I’m a writer.

When I was a kid, in the early 90s, my oldest brother wrote Graffiti and my mom was cool with it. She was cool with all his Graffiti friends hanging at our house, she even had her own tag, “Mom1” and would ask them to put her up + she would get excited when she saw them up on the highways or tags on toll booths etc.

When was 15 and started writing, and my mom found flicks, I got in so much trouble! It was OK for her son, but not for her daughter. I had to change my tag so my mom didn’t know what I wrote and I didn’t take photos of my Graffiti for the rest of the time I lived at home. During that time she found out (through one of my oldest brother’s friends) that I changed my tag to Echo but since she never caught me with photos, she could never prove any of the stuff she saw was done by me.

I moved out of her house before I graduated high school and after that she couldn’t tell me what to do so eventually I decided to be super open with her about what I was doing. In her attempts to finally have a close relationship with me, she was all of a sudden cool with it.

I remember when I lived in New Jersey at one point, she said she wanted to visit and do what I do - so I asked her if she was down to do backjumps on some subway trains and she said yes! I refused to take her but she insisted she wanted to spray. She’s never actually painted with me or really even made efforts to follow my work, but I have sent her flicks before and she has told me that she looks for “Echo” or “OiL” whenever she sees a train passing. She met OiL a few times and tells me that she remembers him fondly.

My oldest brother, who put me onto Graffiti to begin with, has reprimanded me a few times for writing on shit. Even so, I think he digs that I’ve gone so far with it and I think he respects my choices. I know he’s proud of me even if he doesn’t really think Graffiti is smart for me to do.

My older brother who passed way (I have three older brothers btw), never really liked it. He didn’t like that I would be out late at night with guys, didn’t like that I was going into train yards (with guys) and didn’t trust any of my guys friends - he was convinced my friends were going to sexually assault me or had already been trying to rape me in my sleep when I was on Graffiti roadtrips, etc.. On the other hand, he was also so amazed that I could get away with so much - like, statistically, he couldn’t believe how many times I had painted illegally and not gotten in trouble. I remember one night after telling him about a super-close call while painting in NYC, he was super stoned, got some sort of epiphany from my story, and explained to me, “The key to getting away with anything... is a girl.... All you need is a girl and you can get away with anything.”

What spots have you hit that you may have risked your life painting?

Ugh - recently did some seriously sketchy shit about 23 feet high on a ladder. The person I was painting with, who had just caught a fire extinguisher tag on the rooftop of a building - with security guard not far from us on the ground level - insisted that he could not bring the extinguisher down with him and that I needed to climb up and get it.

The logic of why he wouldn’t be able to climb down with the extinguisher and why I was able to do it made no sense to me - but I needed him to shut up and get down, so I climbed up to get it.

The extension ladder was lifted to the max and still had a grip of space before the roof so he had to hand the extinguisher down to me from several feet above, and there was no chance of placing it into my hand - he was gonna have to drop it down (even tho there’s no logical or realistic way I could have grabbed it from the bottom). (As I’m typing this, I still don’t know how I agreed to do this). With one hand holding the ladder, I reached up above my head to have him drop a huge (way bigger than normal size) fire extinguisher into my small lady hand. I obviously couldn’t hold it and somehow (without falling off the ladder) repositioned the fire extinguisher mid-air, slid the bottom between my chest and the ladder and hugged it with my free arm and began to climb down. The entire time I was climbing down he kept going on: “Holy shit, you’re such a fucking gangster… You’re a fucking G.” I was shaking and my heart was racing from the adrenaline but I made it down safely and we didn’t get caught by the security guard. Definitely never doing that ever again.

New rule: You climb up with it, you climb down with it. Fuck that.

My final question… Are you a pizza or pasta gal?

Is both an option? I eat pizza and pasta more than once a week. If it’s a nice Italian restaurant I’m getting some form of pasta, but if it’s not boushie spot then I’ll go for the greasy pizza. Favorites: Joe’s Pizza on Carmine in Manhattan, Garage Pizza on Sunset in LA (yes, there’s decent pizza in LA!) and La Pizza on la Croisette in Cannes.

Thank you for all of your time Echo!

Thanks for the interview! Super cool to follow-up with the same website 8 years later. I don’t do many interviews so these will be valuable one day :)

For those interested:

ECHO’s website: Emeraldartstudio.com

Instagram: @Emeraldartstudio

Facebook.com/Emeraldartstudio

OiL’s instagram: @crudeoilforever - All original flicks, no tributes!

Echo’s interview with Bombing Science in November 2008: http://www.bombingscience.com/echo-interview/

#ECHO #ECHOiL #Graffiti #LAGraffiti #LosAngelesGraffiti #California #CaliforniaGraffiti #LadyLiberty #Interviews #WritersInk

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