#but it also contains some of my favorite bits of dialogue i have ever written.
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A story for the moment you realize things are going to be okay. Even if -- in that moment -- you didn't yet know you would be, too.
This was routine, in a lot of ways; they’d been here so many times together, so many different places. It made it feel a little less like the world had already ended, like the planet was cracked apart outside the window.
It was kinda a stupid question at this point, but Phil asked anyway. “You okay?”
May’s answering snort was soft, a little less sardonic than it might have been. After a long second, she nodded. “Been better, but.”
“It’s okay to not be, you know.”
She shook her head. “Pot, kettle.”
Phil huffed a slight laugh. May’s gaze flickered over to him, either looking for or seeing something no one else could see. Somewhere along the line, her shoulders had finally fallen into a sloping, exhausted line.
Read the rest on Ao3.
#am i posting what is technically the beginning of a series after posting four installments of said series?#erm. kinda.#but see i wasn't ever expecting this one to work for me. it was a PAIN.#but it also contains some of my favorite bits of dialogue i have ever written.#so.#sigh.#aos fic#agents of shield fanfiction#melinda may#phil coulson#jemma simmons#daisy johnson#gen fic#tw for non-graphic depictions of medical procedures#philindaisy#inkspinner fic#series: get out my machete and battle with time once again
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Hello there!
I spent Valentine's Day ruining patrons' nights at my restaurant by telling them our computers were down, but what can you do, you know? Other than that, February was a good time. I was able to read a lot more, and prepare a more in depth list for you, even if it's short.
Hope you enjoy!
Bridges by @cavendishbutterfly E, 16.1k
Reading this felt like getting a personal tour of Budapest. The reverence the author has for the location shines through and gives you a lovely look at a new location. I find Harry exploring his sexuality abroad especially interesting- as if being somewhere else allows him a sort of freedom he wouldn't find at home. There's an appreciation for beer in this fic that I appreciate, since beer is one of life's greatest treasures. I especially loved Cho Chang being a main character in this fic. I love seeing her being utilized in such a fun way when she was done so dirty by she who shall not be named.
Thickets by @wolfpants E, 17k
There are some insane lines in this (very positive), along with some very fun portrait dialogue. Gut-wrenching and extremely intimate. Some scenes can leave you feeling like you're intruding on a very personal moment as a reader. I love a Harry Potter who's a bit obsessed with Draco. ALSO, this fic contains one of the hottest wet dreams I've ever read. Do with that what you will.
Polar Night/Midnight Sun by toomuchplor E, 54.3k
Harry is very horny. Like, at times, this fic is so sexually charged it's almost unbearable. In a very good way. The clothing descriptions make me want to touch those mittens and hats so bad. I know they'd be soft and so fucking squishy. A few things this fic includes: one bed, a lack of magic, for a while, that is perfectly reasonable, and Harry's thing for Draco's teeth (they're like a military cemetery, if you even care.) Also, the sexual allure of someone struggling to get into an attic (I get it,) and Draco's daddy issues (typical but welcomed.) Diagnosis: Extensive therapy. For everyone. Even the dog. ALSO, these boys have STAMINA.
Recursion by @tessacrowley E, 132.5k
As I said in a previous post, "Sometimes you just have to zap Draco Malfoy into the past and let him live for years as the wizard Young Sheldon." This fic will give you WHIPLASH, but it won't be nearly as bad as Draco's. This boy(man?) goes through it. Absolutely engrossing. I couldn't stop reading until I was finished. I love a good canon rewrite, and @tessacrowley has now written my two favorite fics in that genre. Their characterization of Draco is always spot-on in whatever context they put him in. Show-stopping, fantastic, wonderful.
See you next month! XX, Moon.
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More Lucienne Fic Recs
Part 2 to Morphienne and gen Lucienne centric fic recs, this is a non-exhaustive list of other Lucienne rarepairs!
Gaulcienne
This is Why I Don't Leave the House by @zorawitch has to be one of my most revisited and beloved fics not just for this pairing, but for this fandom ever. It's the one that actually hooked me for this ship, it's a human au but everyone is written - just spot on and it's both romantic as hell but with some serious drama too, the entire family is in this, even Despair actually gets moments to shine which is rare it seems. Dr*ml!ng is in it but very very briefly, like it's objectively the Side Pairing Where One Is On the Phone For 5 Minutes in the background for once, also contains very side (but weirdly cute) Desunity. I seriously want to turn this fic into heroin and put an IV to inject it right into my veins. I love it so much (Obviously) and you'll see why if you read it. Descriptions: A+, dialogue A+ character work A ++++.
In Places No One Will Find by starsniper explores the grief of losing Jessamy from Lucienne's POV and Gault is the Best as per usual. This broke my heart in all the best ways, it needs SO much more love.
Obliterate All Prior Things by The_KickIt_Domain is. It is one of the most beautifully written fics I've ever SEEN. Everything about the way Lucienne and Gault are written and the sense of history between them is 10/10. The yearning and the tenderness is off the charts. Definitely a favorite
Daydreams by james is a sensual and beautifully written snippet of domestic Gaulcienne and I adore it.
Beautiful by melime tender fluff with lush description.
"This is my wife..." by @honeyteacakes is just. Short but so so sweet and feels like a look into Matthew and Lucienne's bond as well as hers and Gault's relationship. They also have a bit of fun at his expense lol
dreaming weather by Anonymous way too short but HOT and poetic smut.
Sea Changes by Cafephile FLAWLESS addition to monsterfuckertober. Gault brings back an old nightmare form with tentacles for fun and a good time is had by all:) hot and lovely.
Calliene (Calliope and Lucienne)
@two-hands-toward-the-sun is literally carrying this ship tag on their shoulders and all of their Calienne fics are good but here's some highlights:
I carried this for years plus it's sequel, I can feel the sun whenever you're near are just. *chefs kiss* absolutely great exploration of them trying to deal with their trauma and sometimes competing needs together.
you love each other until the city becomes beautiful , heart of my heart, come my way and stay my honey are all pure quality fluff. Shoot this serotonin straight into my veins.
Corinthienne (Cori × Lucienne)
I haven't read much fic for this pairing so its gonna be short lol, but I couldn't pass these by
Insatiable by honeyteacakes is incredibly tragically steamy and beautifully written.
Quiet in the Library by starkraving is just. MWAH. Very smutty and full of Feelings, it packs such a good punch I can't oversell it.
Just Between Us by onyourleft084 Lucienne tries to domme the Corinthian into behaving and staying in line and it works...for awhile. Honestly I don't feel like I'm selling it right though, just by that simple description. You will feel things about this and them by the end, I promise. At least I did.
#gaulcienne#callienne#calliope x lucienne#corinthienne#lucienne#gault the sandman#calliope#the corinthian#sandman fic recs
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twenty questions for fic writers
tagged by the incomparable and enchanting @icescrabblerjerky , and you caught me while I'm already comparing writing stats for other things so this fits in well with that task ;)
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 19 baybeee
2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 2,319,545. I am. Verbose.
3. What fandoms do you write for? Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Legend of Zelda, Ace Attorney, Mystic Messenger, and then I wrote the novelization of the song 6969 by Ninja Sex Party and a Caduceus character study for CR.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Indefensible (Ace Attorney) has 1,234 (HA!)
As Bright as the Stars (Mystic Messenger) has 1111 (ALSO HA)
Tearing Down the Heavens (Dragon Age: Inquisition) has 730
Hundred Years in the Making (LoZ: Breath of the Wild) has 627
We Are Ferelden (Dragon Age: Origins) has 271
Genuinely really surprised none of the Mass Effect fics are in this category, I'm so proud of those XD
5. Do you respond to comments? Absolutely always, whenever possible. lol I will also ramble at anyone that asks me questions.
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably The Traveler, which I warn you from the very start has a sad ending. It's Dragon Age fic retelling the stories Solas tells of his time dreaming in the Fade, with the trappings of a Doctor Who theme in which he travels through the fade with a series of companions.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uhhhhhhh I think probably We Are Ferelden comes closes to a happy ending? Eventually I will give my DA series an actual happy ending though. Most of them end either bittersweet in some way or as a sort of non-ending ending because I know the story continues.
8. Do you get hate on fics? I've gotten a wee bit of hate on the Zelda fic, Hundred Years in the Making, but it was fairly mild. I don't really respond to it much though because it's hard for a stranger to say something that will actually hurt my fee fees XD
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh yeah, sure. Most my fics contain smut of some kind. I don't really write smut without plot, though, it's gotta be a natural part of the narrative or I just lose interest.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I have not. I just haven't thought of one that caught my attention enough to want to write it down.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of. I have had some lines and suggestions used, but usually that's with credit. lol now I HAVE had jokes and things I've said stolen but that's a bit different.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope! I'd prob be open to it but I'd deffo want credited as the OG author.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! I think it's been orphaned now though lol
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? I CAN'T CHOOSE THIS. But prob Shakarian.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I will finish all my WIPs, how dare you doubt me. (The Traveler would have been my choice for this but I FINISHED IT NOW MOTHERFUCKER)
16. What are your writing strengths? Words....go many. Big words. lmao honestly I don't ever really know. I think I'm good at characterization.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Brevity.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I do it sometimes, but usually make an author's note that it's done with shitty translation software so it will not be Authentic. (if I were putting it in a novel I'd prob pay to have someone look it over, but fic is free and thus my resources put into it are limited lol)
19. First fandom you wrote for? I'm gonna assume the AU crossover I wrote for Pokemon/Dragonriders of Pern/Zelda/Narnia when I was 9 does not count. lol it was Dragon Age tho
20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? My Mass Effect series, I think. I love different things about all my fics, usually because I was doing different things in all of them, but A Name for the Stars trilogy is something that I'm most proud of. Almost every scene in that serves a plot purpose and I wove a LOT of different things together to create one cohesive thing, and I think if you can get through all of it, it has the biggest bang for the buck. Also I burned that realllll slow XD
I will tag @jusbeinkt and @kesla and @literarypeachtea and @tinkeringteacup (do it if you feel like it, no pressure here frens lol)
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged in this by the incredible @pellaaearien . Thank you so much, dear! I really did start working on it when you tagged me and have picked away at it ever since. It’s quite long!
1. How many works do you have on Ao3?
49
2. What's your total Ao3 word count?
122,560. I write short things.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
In chronological order I have written:
BBC Sherlock- Mystrade only
James Bond
Doctor Who
Star Wars
Person of Interest
Arcane
Cats the Musical
Sandman
In theory I’m open to writing in any of those again and any others as the inspiration strikes.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
5 - Worship (Sandman, Dreamling), also received the comment that inspired my first tumblr post to breach containment.
4 - Who He Is (Mystrade), my first fic on ao3 besides the ones I moved to the Other Account. I’m a bit surprised by this honestly. It’s got age on its side but my writing has improved a lot since then. It reads as a bit clunky to me now.
3 - Loverboy (Sandman, Dreamling + Matthew the Emotional Support Raven), first time I brought my 2 Sandman series together and my first multi chap Sandman fic.
2 - The Century Gentleman (Sandman, Dreamling), I got this written and posted pretty soon after the show aired when there was a massive demand for Dreamling content and before there was a tidal wave of content to meet the demand. I have mixed feelings about it now.
1 - Sort It (James Bond & Sherlock crossover, 00Q + Mystrade), fills the niche of “Q is a Holmes brother” + fluffy Mystrade. I do still really love this story.
5. Do you respond to comments?
My rule is that I do. And I’ve generally been very diligent about it. But I burnt out a little while writing Grave and I currently have an embarrassing number of unread comments in my ao3 inbox that I keep telling myself that I need to respond to…
So if folks have commented on my stuff in the last month or so, I’m very sorry I haven’t responded.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Sequenced Proposals. No contest. Look, the character is terminally ill in canon and it’s a lawyer AU so it wasn’t going to end with him becoming a cyborg. I cried a lot while writing it. Apparently a lot of people cried while reading it. Technically he’s still alive when the story ends.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
With the one notable exception discussed above I pretty much exclusively write warm, fluffy, occasionally funny stuff. They pretty much all end happily. I am a quokka of fan fiction.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I haven’t! Someone called me a bitch in a Sequenced Proposals comment but even though we had never interacted before, they meant it positively.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Not on this account. 😏
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I’ve written 2: Sort It, as mentioned above, and Dreaming of Leverage, which is a Sandman & Leverage crossover. I’d say the latter is crazier.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nooooo. And I can’t see ever doing it. Writing is very much a solo activity for me.
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
I can’t pick a favorite. I adore every ship I’ve written.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I will probably not finish Law School Days. I know how the story ends and that’s good enough for me and no one was clamoring for it. I still like to think I’ll finish Lonely Two-Legged Creatures some day.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I’m good at dialogue, especially dialogue in which characters talk about their feeeeeelings. I guess I’m also good at emotional intelligence in stories. And creating the warm & fuzzies.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Plot and description. I almost exclusively write very short things because I am incapable of plot that would carry a longer story. Also, if I’m being honest, one of the things I like about writing fan fiction is that I don’t have to describe what anyone looks like or sounds like! Y’all know that already. But I do get the flop sweats if I have to describe someone wearing clothing that is not a t-shirt and jeans.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I wish I could! More than 15 years ago I was basically conversational in Spanish, but now I’m functionally monolingual. I do appreciate when people who do this provide translations.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
As a kid, before I knew what fan fiction was, I wrote at least 100 pages of what was essentially OCs in Mercedes Lackey’s Valdemar. The first fandom I intentionally wrote and posted fic for was Mystrade.
20. Favourite fic you've written?
Can’t do this, sorry. There are some of my stories that no longer resonate with me the way they did when I wrote them, but they’re in the minority and of the rest it’s impossible to pick a favorite.
Phew! That was a lot. Whenever I tag people in these I always say no pressure but really and seriously this time there’s no pressure and you don’t need to tell me why you’re not doing it. Just ignore. ALSO, if you’ve already done it and I missed it, apologies! With that said @once-in-a-blue-moon-rising @lavenderandvanilla @ml-nolan @mashumaru @ibrithir-was-here @karalynlovescake @stormofsharpthings @argylepiratewd
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20 Questions for fic writers
I was tagged by the writing goddess @dear-massacre
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
23 works, one WIP (and another coming soon)
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
563,018 - I took a hiatus for about 10 years and now coming back
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Only Teen Wolf right now, but previously - Harry Potter, Avengers/Marvel, Legend of Zelda, and back in the day a Battle Royale one
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
I'm only going to use the fics from this year because my 2013 stuff is best left there.
part-time soulmate, full-time problem (Sterek, 27k. Explicit. Fake Relationships & Derek in a Kilt)
Behind the Screen (Sterek, 23k. Explicit. Derek is a CEO who watches Camboys. Stiles is that Camboy.)
Werewolves at Twilight (Sterek, 50k. Explicit. Twilight but Teen Wolf.)
The Itch (Sterek, 36k. Explicit. WIP. Stiles solves a murder mystery while being Dominated by someone online)
Full Moon (Sterek, 60k. Explicit. New Moon but Teen Wolf.)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to as much as possible, but I always just don't know how to respond because if you leave a comment on my fic, I run to show my husband and just giggle the whole day.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Honestly, way back, I wrote Under my Skin, and that one originally had an unhappy ending with an epilogue, but I changed it mid-way. The Itch is probably because it's a WIP I have no idea when I'll get to finish it.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Either Eclipse of the Dawn or Part-time soulmate.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Yup 👍🏻
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
All sorts of smut, but Knotting non-ABO is my favorite.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Eclipse of the Dawn is a major crossover, but I have always liked to do Buffy/Teen Wolf in some capacity.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yes, oh absolutely yes. but it was like, back in the Fanfiction.net era of life
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I believe someone did, but once more fanfiction.net era
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I did a sister fic for someone, but co-writing fics haven't been on my radar. I would LOVE to, though, especially now that I'm getting into my art again.
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
Sterek's up there in the forever column so check that box
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I will finish my only WIP soon, I have feelings that it will take time, but it will be done. I don't post unless I'm committed.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I've been told my banter and character dialogue make people laugh, so I think I am strong in that. Honestly, I write for myself, and if everyone likes it, I'm here for it!
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Keeping things short. Also, I would say I'm a bit simplistic in my word choices so if y'all are looking for Purple prose with gratuitous romanticism, that's not me
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I write languages I know and languages I speak - I try to keep it contained to terms of endearment or spells in Latin. My next fic coming does have Icelandic in it, but I try to keep it to a minimum.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Chronicles of Narnia, but first published fandom was Harry Potter
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
I wrote them all to my tastes, but I think I'm really proud of the Moonlight Saga. It was three months of intense writing, and it proved that I could write over 180K in a summer while my life was falling apart. It means a lot to me that I had the gumption.
low pressure, not required, only if you're feeling it: @quackquackcey, @arver7, @leodabinchy, @handsofred
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20 Questions for Fic Writers!
Thanks for the tag, @danpuff-ao3 !
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
41: 38 on the lone_amaryllis account, and 3 on the blackwhitelight account.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
1,550,865! Wow, that's a lot.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I have fallen into a Snarriet black hole, with occasional Harrymort stuff, so just Harry Potter at the moment. I'll eventually write some original things when I manage to power through all the HP fics I want to write.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. Harrie and her Alpha, my A/B/O Snarriet fic
2. Snape's cat, the fic with Cat!Harrie and a Snape who loves cats
3. The Slut-Who-Lived, my Snarry fic written by the smut goblin that lives in my brain
4. Precious Horcrux, my dark Harrymort fic
5. The ritual, a Snarriet crack fic with smut
Snape's cat has so many kudos, haha. It's a small fic but it manages to reach the second spot!
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes, I try to answer all the comments! I love talking with my readers! :D
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Mmh, well, probably the first Snarriet fic I wrote, Shattered. It's a very Dead Dove, and the ending is depressing.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
All my long Snarriet fics have happy endings! Hard to choose since Harrie and Snape are always very happy... Maybe Caught in the Act, because it's a threesome ending, so there's more happiness!
8. Do you get hate on fics?
A bit on Precious Horcrux, but that was mainly at the start. I haven't had any hate comments this year, I think...
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Uh yeah, I write a lot of smut! I've got only one fic with no smut, and it still contains some Dubious Consent spanking.
I write all kinds of smut, I guess. Dark smut, fluffy smut, cracky smut. I tend to write more heterosexual smut, but I've got some M/M smut on the blackwhitelight account.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
No! I'm content with writing within one fandom... I haven't had any ideas where I could smash two together.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! A few directly on AO3, and then more on Wattpad I think.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, but I've got an idea brewing for a very long fic that I would consider as a co-written fic, since it's a mutual baby with a friend :D
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
Snarriet, no contest. It's recent, though! One year ago, I would have said Flash/Reverse Flash, or any Heroine/Villain with a good age gap.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I... don't have one? I'm good at finishing my fics. Currently my longest-running WIP is Precious Horcrux, but I'm sure I'll finish it one day.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Smut, hehe. Beyond that, I'm not sure. Maybe angst? But also I write good crack fics, so...
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Dialog! It's so hard for me to write dialog.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Yes, absolutely, can be fun.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Mmm, probably Pokemon? A long, long time ago.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Snape's cat, my beloved. This fic took over my entire brain for a week. I wrote it so fast. It's still my favorite even after the numerous other fics I've written since! There's a little bit of everything in it, some angst, some fluff, some smut, and some cliffhangers. Also that's the fic where my OC Mathilda came to life, and I just love her so much I put her in more fics after that.
Tagging @racfoam, @hirukochan, and anyone else who wants to do it!
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Something I started thinking about after your The Big Damn Post 4e was how Adventure Paths or pre-written campaigns fit within the context of D&D being really good at challenge mode but not quite so at story mode.
Having run only a handful of pre-written content, and with the longest game I ever played/GMed in being an underground, secret assassin society thing that was very much modeled after the then popular Assassin's Creed series that ALSO started in 3.5 D&D, transitioned to 4e, then Pathfinder, AND where narrative and character stories emergently popped up for us, I'm trying to retroactively find all the times we encountered issues with challenge vs story modes and house tueld or waved away something to get it to work.
With regards to some pre-written content, I feel like it's billed as a "harmonious" blend of satisfying challenge gameplay meant to advance an equally satisfying overarching story. Having also recently played through Pathfinder: Kingmaker the game, and wanting to run the adventure path for some friends, I'm curious if video games are naturally a strange mix of good challenge gameplay that CAN result in good story telling, albeit not at the same time? Sort of how the story happens in cutscenes or in dialogue but is separate from gameplay because a fail state is meant to reload and try again until you succeed.
I have limited experience with prewritten material because for a variety of reasons I really like making my own adventures, but I'll try to answer this based on what I have read:
Adventure paths are an interesting proposition to me, but I think in the hands of good designers they can be a pretty harmonious blend of challenge and narrative: basically having the challenge parts as small, self-contained adventuring zones that you travel to in order to advance the wider overarching plot. They are, ultimately, still vulnerable to the loss of narrative continuity that I feel a mix of Challenge Mode and Story Mode will always have, but one would hope that they would at least try to address it in the text. (like, at least a little "What if I accidentally TPK?" sidebar)
Thus far my favorite modern D&D adventure I have experienced has been the Dragon of Icespire Peak. I've heard some grumbling about it, and I don't think it's without its issues, but it's almost purely Challenge Mode, albeit with a (very simple) overarching plot. There's a dragon on that mountain and things are Fucked Up because of the dragon. It's a mini sandbox with lots of stuff to do and explore, all ultimately in the pursuit of going up to kill that dragon, and while there is a bit of soft hand-holding built into the adventure to introduce locations in a set order since it doesn't try to tell a story beyond "Dragon bad" it also feels like it wouldn't actively resist D&D's structure.
Anyway, video game RPGs are a whole different beast and I think you've basically cracked the code: video game RPGs basically have you, the player, beating all the story encounters as a necessity, but a TPK isn't a total failure state because you can just reload!
And yeah I do agree with you that a lot of videogame RPGs almost feel like they are placing story and gameplay into completely different silos. In many CRPGs I've played at key story moments control is wrested away from the player just so that the game can tell its authored narrative. In BG2 someone always gets taken to wizard jail, you always get sent to the Underdark, which always leads you back to the Elfwoods, and so on. In Divinity: Original Sin 2 your first fight with what seems to be the main villain turns out to be nonlethal and he's still alive actually.
And that also kind of feels like a lot of my problems with using D&D for larger narratives: by the structure of the game players have to win to maintain narrative continuity, which feels unsatisfying. To introduce players losing meaningfully you either have to introduce failure as a story element that does not flow from player actions or ignore rules text to get the game to produce the type of narrative you want.
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c, e, f, g, i, k, s!!!!
Oh my god wowowow let’s do this!
Just a heads up: tw for discussing abuse for question K.
C: What member do you identify with most?
Trick question i relate to all the Eds for different reasons!! But for real I guess in the dynamic of the three together I am absolutely Ed.
E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?
Hmmm I don’t know! I feel like my fics are all little separate contained packages. Maybe not so much sequels but snippets from the same general timeline. I don’t want to spoil how LMS ends but of course I have ideas about the events following its conclusion.
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.
Okay here is another because I’m bad at picking favorites… from Ch 4 of LMS.
Clapping her hands together, the enthused employee responded, “My goodness! Isn’t that funny! Three friends with the same name. Why, you could write a story book about something like that.”
“Eh, probably more like a TV show,” Eddy replied, running a hand through his hair to make sure it wasn’t out of place from Ed’s ruffling.
“What would it be about?” The woman inquired.
Eddy placed Sparky’s name tag over his right thumb, flicked it until it flipped a few times, and snatched it midair on the descent.
“Beats me. It’s kind of a weak premise. Sounds like it needs a plot.”
I enjoyed the irony of the characters in-universe not being aware they are characters from a kids cartoon. It’s just fun for me to play with that, and prod at the common criticism that the show didn’t have a plot lol. It had a plot but it was often simple. The imagery of Eddy flipping the tag was meant to allude to the main plot driver for most of the show: getting quarters for jaw breakers.
Lol I also appreciated you shouting out the Eddy line from this bit of dialogue from The Ed Must Go On. I also felt proud of myself for getting Eddy’s stubborn-as-an-ass voice right haha and I can’t resist writing Edd and Eddy bickering:
Eddy just leaned back, crossing his arms.
“You know. It’s your way or the highway.”
“Well I can’t help that you were pulling the fabric too taut. Your seam is going to be cockled.”
“Maybe I like my seams cockled.”
G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?
I guess more the latter. I often get specific dialogue or scenes in my head and work a plot around that. Sometimes if there are multiple scenes I’ll cobble them together in an order that makes some logical sense. With a more complicated multi chapter fic I have general outlines of events, locations, timelines too that I’m working with.
I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?
Honestly my answer to F this time around reminded me I’m such a sucker for 4th wall breaks and references back to events from the show. I integrate them a lot, hopefully not entirely overdoing it (I’m definitely overdoing it). Um also big fan of physical comedy - how could I not be, eene is the best with slapstick!
K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?
Oh jeez… it’s a fair question but I’m so cringe. In my old fic Ready I heavily insinuate that Eddy was physically and sexually abused by his bro.
S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?
I’m not sure! Forgive me, my brain in jamming. I’m thinking of more like headcanons, not necessarily tropes? Like having them be stoners in high school.
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2, 3, 4, 9, 11 from the Took That Holy Ride Ourselves To Know series
2. What scene did you first put down? "I want to find Bigfoot". Its the first line of the first story so it makes sense but also the honest fact was i lying in bed like 'man i am out of ideas' and then i was like 'why dont they, like, go looking for bigfoot.' so the first scene is a bunch of stoned people talking about looking for bigfoot.
3: What’s your favorite line of narration? This is sort of cheating because it's both dialogue and naration but little bit from the first story i could just see so clearly in my brain:
"You look so angry up there," Robin laughed. "You are the only person in the world, I think, who could look intimidating on the back of the Jackalope Jackrabbit."
"His name is Thunder Bunny," Nancy said, and Robin laughed even harder. Nancy laughed too, on top of this fiberglass monstrosity, in the middle of nowhere, with the sun setting at her back and Robin Buckley smiling up at her.
And then this line from the second one i dont know why, just somehow unlocked the whole story. i think i wrote this around 5500 words in after like a month and a half of trying and then the rest took like 5 days or something.
Just a girl in a bathing suit, just the first and only wonder of Robin's world, bossing Steve around at the grill as if she herself had ever made a meal that didn't come from a can.
4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? From the first story:
"I know." Nancy stared into the dying fire. "I'm sorry it's not more romantic. I don't have an orange and a glass of milk to share. What was up with that anyway?"
"I'm honestly not sure," Robin said. "I just wanted to see them fuck."
This was metacommentary because first of all i read The Price of Salt like ten years ago and dont remember anything about it but i keep referencing it in this story, and also I for some reason kept mentioning oranges or the word orange and the only reason is that it felt fun to do. and then also its a joke about how i made everybody read this self indulgent bigfoot road trip and made them read the word orange like 14 times just so they could get to the next scene where they bang.
9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic? Probably there is a version of the Bigfoot story that got much sillier and not as cringingly romantic, in which case there would not have been a sadgirl sequel. The second story originally was just going to be a shorter thing of just an expanded breakup scene, and it was going to be meaner, Nancy was going to revert back to her pre-Bigfoot colder self.
11: What do you like best about this fic? I like everything about the first story. It's I think the best thing I've written, satisfyingly self contained and paced well and just I feel like the writing is mostly good. The second story I don't know if I like at all yet. I've never written anything without a happy ending, it feels bad and i am looking away from it for a little while I think. But I liked giving Robin her own say, both in terms of writing her side and also giving her maybe a little more autonomy than we got to see in the first one.
thank youuuuuuuu
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💫 and 🕯️!
what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?
I love comments that quote a part or parts they liked best! Not only does it make me feel good, but I think it helps me as a writer to know what parts resonate with people or what sentences seem well-written or good at conveying a certain emotion. I also love to hear that people found something I wrote to be relatable or realistic, especially if they relate it to a personal experience they had. I think it's really special to be able to connect with people on that level, and it makes me so happy when it happens!
was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn’t think it would take you?
I would say there are parts of various fics that got a little Too Real(tm) at times, but I don't think any particular fic has ever been hard on me as a whole. Usually when I feel like I'm tapping into something really personal, it actually feels good and cathartic, and when something upsetting does sneak up on me, it tends to be one scene or paragraph or bit of dialogue within a larger story. For example, Little Drops contains some things that were a little too close to home, but overall I would say I felt in control of it and of my emotional state while I was working on it. Every once in a while I'll finish writing a paragraph and have to breathe and take a break because it's So Much, but it comes in moments, not entire stories.
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Hii!!! 1, 6, 10 and 13 for the meta asks!😁😁
1. how did you discover your f/o’s content?
I think I discovered it through yt? I watch a lot of gaming videos so sometimes yt just recommends random games to me and I think wat//ch dogs was one of them. I vaguely also knew abt the graphics etc controversy because I sometimes watch top x number videos about games.
I wasn't interested in Aiden's source at the time (this must've been around 2015 or something idk I have the worst memory with dates / years) and wasn't for long time. Suddenly his game just became interesting to me and I hyperfixated on it big time. The rest is history or something.
6. if your f/o is from a series, which episode/movie/game/book of their source content is your favorite?
First game obviously.
He's also in Legion (2nd sequel) as DLC character but his design is so far off what I imagine Older!Aiden to be AND Jackson is so wildly different to what I imagined him to be at 26??
Does this look like the same person to you??? I get that ppl don't stay the same (Jacks is 8 in 1) but?? this??
Also the downgrade of Aiden just...
I'm going to say it; that beard does NOT fit him.
Aside from.. superficial stuff like this, the way his dialogue is written is far too generic (at least in main game or something? I can't shake the feeling his dialogue is off somehow even when his VA did reprise the role or I don't like change this badly lmao) and doesn't FEEL like HIM at all. Also him working WITH Dedsec as whole when in Chicago he explicitly refused is bit, wtf moment for me (yes I'm aware that both San Francisco and London Dedsec are different from Chicago!Dedsec and his mind can change but?? still??) Also I can't see Aiden tolerating Wrench at all. He didn't as DLC reveals so anyway.
Also the whole "he's in coma and his mind is this Silent Hill-esque hellscape bc he never moved on from Lena's death in last 10+ years for majority of DLC" plot is just.. I'm letting out the biggest most annoyed sigh. (Him digging his own grave in the coma dream was kinda neat as it's sad tho)
All in all his inclusion felt like poor attempt at some sort of pandering or something. No effort.
Also he's mentioned to be homeless in Legion?? When in books he has safe room in house he rents to elderly?? He has his container safe houses?? He can just steal money and rent some place??
The only thing I kinda give to Legion is canonically him & Jacks & Nicky had no contact for years. Also the fact that Jacks is bitter and angry at Aiden bc he aggravated his PTSD and other shit.
I did like his short cameo in 2, where he's stuck in cell and 2's protagonist helps him out a little so he escapes by himself (and he's explicitly there to shut down human trafficking operations).
I'm kinda iffy but kinda love how he's famous in both 2 and Legion and his name and nickname Fox is known widely in hacker circles as sorta celebrity / legend type. I love it bc it's cute & makes for sorta interesting narrative but also I'm iffy bc I want him to be able to be under radar so he doesn't have to move all the damn time but he did become famous at the very end of 1 so I guess I gotta deal.
10. if you could change one thing about your f/o’s source content, would you? what would you change?
Either have the game explore more deeply how and why Aiden acts and thinks the way he does OR Clara survives
If we don't talk about story things, I'd change the gameplay from all the damn car chases to heavily feature ´hacking and potential gunfight / sneaking opportunities
13. do you have a favorite line your f/o has ever said
Favorite line I didn't mention earlier?
"You're not the first woman to tell me that" after Clara said she'd "open his world" in reference to her phone she gives Aiden that has some Dedsec stuff that makes it easier for him to hack stuff or smth. (Clara's observation of Aiden's intimidation being "very textbook" is my favorite line of hers)
Also the lines where he wonders did he get Bedbug killed are obviously my favorite because FOR ONCE Aiden actually stops to think about larger consequences of his own actions also he sounds pretty panicked there.
#vigilante#letters of love#thank you!#I try not to feel obligated to answer with ushio every time you send asks bc ur ygo mutual-#morbid tw
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what's your favorite album (prog rock edition) amd what's your favorite album (any other genre edition)?
Very smart of you to separate my favorite prog record from those of any other genre, otherwise my answer would be too obvious ✨
Normally I try not to list one singular album as my "favorite" (prog or otherwise), but if I were to narrow down which prog rock record had the greatest influence on my development and which I still enjoy listening to just as much today as I did as a teen, it would no doubt be The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway by Genesis
Very weird yet entertaining storyline about a NYC punk falling into a dark fantasy world and trying to escape while also finding his brother (which was also apparently loosely inspired by The Little Prince?), fantastic complex melodies with songs containing some of my favorite Steve Hackett guitar solos ever, and the inner sleeves of the vinyl even have a story written out by Peter Gabriel that basically reads like Hylics dialogue (that being obscure prose usage to the point of being nearly nonsensical lol)
Did I sell you on this or repel you I wonder...
Anyway!
I had to think long and hard about what my other favorite album would be. To decide this, I thought back on which albums I had listened to start-to-finish the most in the past few years, and I found to my surprise that it might honestly be a tie between View Monster and Spirit Phone by Lemon Demon (sorry they're both so good I hate picking between them!)
These two albums are legit some of the best synth-pop I've ever heard. Neil Cicierega has such a keen ear for creating infectious melodies that aren't in the least bit obnoxious to listen to over and over, though honestly the lyrical writing on those albums are what really propel them up to the top for me. Each song is basically a whole storyline that's either really funny or really compelling
I mean there's a damn good reason why these albums' songs make such perfect "internal AMV" material!
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
(inside the cut to spare you)
1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 43. Some of them contain multiple fics, though. I might be pushing 50 if they were all out on their own.
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 408,702
3. What fandoms do you write for? On ao3, I've written for: Supernatural, Community, Rhett & Link, The Office, New Girl, Stranger Things. I also wrote a 'characters who were never the slayer' fic with characters from Glee, Parks and Rec, Miranda, himym, etc etc. I orphaned some Rookie Blue fics that I posted over there just because I got an anon message asking me if I could unlock them from lj.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos? All destiel fics:
sink - "Where to?" A 9.06 coda. (To be fair on this, I think there was a weird ao3 glitch that really skyrocketed the hits.)
Mr. and Mr. Winchester - "No pet names, I popped the question, and you're the girl." (Or, Dean and Castiel: fake-married. Set in a hypothetical s9.)
here's a map, here's a shovel, here's my achilles heel - Post-15x19. Turns out, Dean doesn't have to ask to get Cas back.
a way not steep - Dean's twenty-six and his roommate's a guy who cries during E.T.
wedding guy - "I'm Castiel. I wanted to let you know I've been noticing you all night, and I wanted to leave this with you, before I left." (aka Cas slips Dean his number at a wedding, and a friendship/relationship takes off from there.)
5. Do you respond to comments? Not always, which is v. lame of me. I do try to, but it feels overwhelming to think up different ways to say "thanks for reading" without it coming off as perfunctory because it's my tenth "thanks" in a row.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hmmm, maybe lights down low. 40k words of time traveling destiel just to bring Dean and Cas back to the purgatory portal where Cas doesn't follow Dean out. But, listen. I was proud of the twist ending.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? sky full of stars, maybe? Rhett and Link boning in a tent, with a sweet lil flashback to end things.
8. Do you get hate on fics? Nah.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes. Yes, I do. The kind where they bone.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not all that often, but I've written some wild ones. A Supernatural/Community tale where circa s5 Dean and Cas show up to Greendale, lured by Abed's Jesus movie. A himym/Community crossover where Barney enrolled at Greendale to bag some community college hotties. I wrote a Rhett and Link/spn fusion, where they were hunters.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I haven't.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I've had people ask. If they ever did anything with that, I never got tagged or it was posted off ao3. Someone did a pod-fic of one of them once, though, that was pretty cool.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have, I have. Long ago, @milkshakemicrowave and I were writing a Community fic together. I think I wrote the first chapter, then convinced her to write with me. We bailed after maaaaybe getting into chapter 3? I've also co-written a couple J2 fics with my Cas/Misha/destiel-hating bestie. Under a pseudonym, obvs.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I mean, I've got lots of those. Depends on the day. But when it comes to reading, it's Dean/Cas hands down. There's an abundance of riches and I'm grateful every day for the free serotonin.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I never posted it to ao3, but I have like 20k words written of a Dean/Cas (of course) fic I started writing between seasons 7 and 8, with Dean and Cas in purgatory before we knew anythinggg about purgatory. I got to the point where I needed to figure out how they were getting out.
16. What are your writing strengths? One of my favorite bits of feedback that I get most often is that I write dialogue how people actually talk, which is nice.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot. It's not that I don't have big, plotty ideas, I just don't know how to string plot along in a coherent way. I'm always so impressed by plot-heavy stories that STAY plot-heavy.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I wouldn't personally, but more power to anyone taking on that challenge.
19. First fandom you wrote for? I want to say it was Buffy.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written? It's certainly not the best fic I've ever written, but I recently reread like only a best friend could and liked it enough I've been puttering away at a sequel.
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The Shield and the Sweater
Hello lovelies! This little fic came to me when the lovely, beautiful, talented @stargazingfangirl18 asked a very important question on her blog. Would you rather be enemies to lovers with Steve Rogers or friends with benefits with Ransom Drysdale. Well my greedy ass wanted both. Thus the birth of this story. I also turned it around a little to make it fit into Siri’s 5k Soft Dark Challenge! I’ve never written anything dark before. Also not sure if this classifies as soft!dark or if it’s more dark. But it’s one of those! If that makes you uncomfortable, then please don’t read it. This is also my first time writing a threesome, so let me know if it sucks! I hope you enjoy it! 😘
General prompts:
8)The town golden boy isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks.
Dialogue prompts:
3)”Oh, honey, you weren’t supposed to see that.”
11)”I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.”
Rating: Explicit(if you’re under 18, please leave)
Words: 6.2k(this one got away from me, sorry)
Warnings: soft!dark/dark themes, unprotected sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, threesome(M/M/F), manipulation, language, model!Ransom being an asshole, Steve not being who you think he is
“And I really think if everyone pitches in to make these changes, it’ll really make a difference in the long run.”
Wow, so this is how you were going to die. In your whole 20 something years of existence, you never thought boredom would be your cause of death.
Sure, you were the lead Accountant at Stark Tower and these monthly meetings were mandatory. But did you really have to be here to listen to Rogers go on and on about how we can ‘improve our working environment’? Why did he even care anyway? He was barely ever here as it is.
You must have been zoning out worse than you thought because next thing you know your coworker, Janet, is poking you in the side and pointing towards Steve.
With a quick glare sent her way, you move your gaze to the Captain. He is giving you the same look he always does. Like he’s disgusted with you. “I’m sorry Miss Y/L/N. Am I boring you?”
A scoff escapes your mouth. “No, not at all Captain Rogers. I just love when people who are never here seem to always have an opinion on how things are run and how they could be better.”
He narrows his eyes at you. “Do you have a problem with me, Y/N? Cause if you do, I’m sure there’s a way to solve that.”
You stand up and match his expression. You lean forward with your hands resting on the table. You can’t help but notice the Captain drops his gaze to your cleavage that’s now on more display than before. But just as quick as it was there, his gaze rises back up to meet your face. “Is that a threat, Captain Rogers?”
“Oh, it’s more than a-“
Tony quickly stands up and claps his hands together. “Okay! Meeting adjourned! You two, come here!”
You quickly straighten yourself up and make your way over to Tony. You always try to make sure you show him as much respect as you can. He’s your boss after all.
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark. My emotions got the better of me. It won’t happen again.”
He nods to you. “Thank you, Y/N. I accept your apology. But what I’m not understanding is why Steve here wanted to fire you?”
You both turn to look at Steve who has a sheepish expression on his face. “Yeah, sorry about that, Tony. She just seems to bring out this ugly side of me. I’ll try to keep it more contained next time.” He then moves his gaze to you. “Sorry, Y/N. I promise to be more professional moving forward.”
He makes a quick exit, leaving you shocked that he apologized at all. Ever since you started here almost a year ago now, you’ve been at each other’s throats. It was your fault really.
It was your first week and you were in the break room grabbing some coffee when you overheard a few of your coworkers making fun of Steve for being a virgin. Now, you weren’t sure if it was true but you wanted to fit in so you made your way over to the group and asked if anyone calls him Captain Virgin. That earned you some big laughs. But the laughter died down quickly as Steve entered the room to grab some coffee. Judging by the glare he gave you, he heard what you had called him.
You went straight to Tony after that to apologize. You really didn’t want to get fired. But you wanted to make sure Tony heard the story from you before Steve got the chance to talk to him. To your utter surprise, Tony found the name hilarious and gave you a high five, saying you were going to fit right in.
Well long story short, it’s almost a year later and Steve is still getting called Captain Virgin. Oh but don’t worry, he has names of his own for you. His favorite is Tony’s Pet. For some reason, it really eats at you when he calls you that.
But the one thing you hate the most about Steve?
Is how utterly, hopelessly, and desperately attracted you are to the son of a bitch.
That happened in your second week when you went to use the complimentary gym and saw him beating the shit out of some poor punching bag. Your panties and your workout were definitely ruined after that.
The more you fought with Steve, the more you just wanted him to bend you over any surface and have his way with you.
It was despicable how horny you were for him. You were pretty sure all he’d have to do is snap his fingers and point to the floor in front of him and you’d happily drop to your knees and take him down your throat.
So that left you leaving work every day in a horny state. You started by taking care of it yourself when you got home. But after a while even that wasn’t cutting it. Then you started bringing home one night stands. But after the 4th disappointing non-orgasm, you gave up and just learned to live with it.
Sure, you could attempt to start being nice to Steve and maybe ask him out. But you were pretty sure he hated you. Plus you have way too much pride to actually do that.
So that leads to now. It’s Friday night and your workday is almost over. You’re inputting the last few numbers from the last expense report in your pile.
You get the last number put in when Janet approaches you. She sits on the corner of your desk. “So, you coming tonight?”
You take your glasses off and lean back in your chair, stretching your arms over your head. “Coming where?”
She rolls her eyes at you. “Oh, come on Y/N! You know we go out almost every Friday night. You never come and you always say you will!”
You start to clear off your desk and put things back in their place. “Yeah well I could. Or I could go home and sit on my ass and do nothing.”
“Well, that explains why it’s looking a bit bigger lately.”
Janet’s jaw drops as she directs her gaze at Steve, who is now standing in front of your desk.
You smirk and lean on your elbows towards him. “You like looking at my ass, Rogers?”
He scoffs. “Well when it takes up that much space, it’s hard not to notice. But here, I came to give you this.”
He hands you what looks to be a 10 page expense report. “Sorry it’s late, I’ve been busy, you know. Saving the world.”
You ungraciously take it from him and throw it in your to-do pile. “That can wait until Monday. I’ve got plans. We’re going to-” you look towards Janet for clarification. “Lavo.” You turn your gaze back to Steve. “Yeah, we’re going to Lavo. So this will wait til Monday if that’s okay with you, sir.”
Steve does his best to move his bag and jacket subtly towards the front of his pants so you won’t notice his growing hard-on. He hates how turned on he gets when you guys get into it. And then you call him sir? Jesus. He clears his throat. “Of course, I'm the one who turned it in at the last minute.”
Janet speaks up quickly. “You could always come with us! It’ll be fun!”
You grin widely at him. “Yeah! You could finally get your cherry popped, Captain Virgin.”
Steve can’t help the blush that covers his cheeks. “Uh, I can assure you my cherry has been popped since the 40’s. But thank you for your concern. And thank you for the invite, Janet. But i think I’ll stay in tonight.” He takes out his phone and sends a quick text before turning around and walking towards the elevators.
Wow. He didn’t even try to retaliate. You shrug your shoulders and grab your purse before standing up. “Alright, I’ll go! But on one condition!”
Janet claps her hands in excitement and starts walking with you towards the elevators. “Sure, anything!”
You press the button for the lobby. “You are going to be my wingwoman. Cause this girl definitely needs to get laid.”
😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Lavo is super packed by the time you guys arrive. Of course you all had to go home and change.
You decided to go with a simple, yet effective, little black dress that showed off just enough to get men’s attention.
Thankfully you are able to score the last table. The waiter comes over and gets everyone’s drink order. You decide to stick with your favorite. You don’t want to get too drunk on the off chance you find someone to take home.
About a half hour into hot office gossip, Lucy, who is sitting across from you, taps your arm. You raise your eyebrows in question towards her.
She subtly nods her head towards the bar. “Okay I’m pretty sure the hottest guy I have ever seen is checking you out.”
You can’t help the smirk that crosses your face. “Yeah? Which one?”
“You can’t miss him. He’s fucking hot. Like no comparison to any of the other dudes sitting up there.”
You glance down at your drink and quickly finish the remainder. You stand up and adjust your dress, pushing up your breasts in the process. “Well, then I guess it’s time for a refill.” You wink and turn to make your way towards the bar.
It doesn’t take long for you to spot him. And boy was Lucy not kidding. He was fucking hot. Brown hair, blue eyes, and a smug smirk that would normally turn you off. But on him it worked. And who even looks that good in a fucking cream colored cable knit?
You go up to the bar, not too close to Mr. Hottie of course, and patiently wait for the bartender.
Hottie McHothot not so subtly moves his gaze up and down your body. He must like what he sees. “Hey honey, have you ever raised chickens?”
Uh. That’s definitely not the first thing you expected to come out of his mouth. You look over at him with confusion on your face. “Uh, no. Why do you ask?”
He just shrugs his shoulders. “Just kinda figured you might. Cause you sure can raise a cock.”
Okay, you’ve definitely never heard that line before. You crack up. You’re pretty sure you even snorted on accident. Once you collect yourself you ask, “Has that line ever worked for you?”
The bartender makes his way over to take your order. After reordering what you had before, you turn towards Hottie and wait for his answer.
“Not sure, my buddy told it to me yesterday so this is the first time I’m using it. Did it work?”
You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know. It was pretty cheesy.”
“Yeah, maybe. But it got you to laugh. So I’d say mission accomplished. Name’s Ransom. What’s yours, pretty girl?” He holds out his hand for you to shake.
Ransom. Now where have you heard that name before? You accept his hand shake. You can’t help but notice how much bigger his hands are than yours. Jesus. You could already feel your panties getting wet.
“My name’s Y/N. Ransom, that sounds familiar. Do I know you?”
He releases your hand and goes to take a sip of his bourbon. “Well, I guess that depends. Do you read magazines or have you seen the side of the city bus lately?”
You quickly wrack your brain. You don’t read many magazines. But the bus drives by you everyday on your walk to work. Holy shit! That’s it! He’s in his underwear on the side of the bus. You’ve drooled over that picture plenty of times.
“Oh, yeah! I remember now! I’ve seen you on the bus! What’s it an ad for? I can never really get past the almost naked man. A bit distracting on my way to work.”
He smirks as he briefly glances down at your breasts. “I’m glad you know my work. It’s an ad for Calvin Klein. For their new line of men’s briefs. Sorry I’ve been a distraction.” He sends you a wink.
Fuck. He was a model. And a popular one at that if he’s in an ad for Calvin Klein.
“I didn’t say I minded. You can make it up to me you know.” You wink back. Holy shit. Were you really flirting with a model?
“Yeah? Well, how about we get out of here and I’ll show you a fully naked man.”
Okay. Cheesy line number 2. Was that really going to work on you?
Yes.
Yes it was.
“Let me just go grab my purse.”
Drink forgotten, you go back to your table as quickly as you can without looking desperate. “Sorry, girls. But this is where I leave you.”
Janet glances down at her phone. “We haven’t even been here an hour yet! Where are you going?”
You send her a wink. “I’m leaving with that guy! You guys know him! Remember that ad on the side of the bus?”
They all turn their gaze to him. And they all make it very obvious. He just waves and sends them a smirk.
“Holy fucking shit! That’s the new Calvin Klein guy! Oh my god you lucky bitch!”
“Wait! Listen. We’ll let you go on one condition.”
You furrow your brows in confusion. “Okay?”
Janet gives you a naughty smirk. “On Monday I’ll need a report on if they had to stuff his briefs to get that delicious looking bulge or not.”
You give her a naughty smirk of your own. “I can totally do that.”
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Monday morning you were all smiles as you stepped off the elevator and headed towards your desk. You give Janet a wink as you pass by her. She quickly makes her way over just as you sit down. “Um, excuse me hoe. But is that the same dress you were wearing Friday night?”
You quickly grab the cardigan you always keep in your desk out and put it on and button it up, attempting to look a little more professional. “Maybe.”
Janet opens her mouth in shock. “You stayed the whole weekend with him? You little slut! How was it?”
You turn on your computer and grab for the expense report of Steve’s you left in your to-do pile. Then you turn towards your nosy coworker. “Well, if you must know, yes. I did stay the whole weekend with him. And I’m pretty sure I was in an orgasm-induced coma the whole time. It’s all kind of a rough, sticky, mind-blowing blur.”
“Are you going to see him again?”
You shrug your shoulders as you put in your login information on the computer. “I haven’t decided yet. While the sex was the best I’ve ever had, he’s kind of an ass. Talked about himself and all the famous people he’s hooked up with since becoming a model. I honestly kept initiating sex just to make him shut up.”
She gives you a look like you’re stupid. “I’m not seeing the issue here. So what if he talks about himself a lot? The sex was amazing. You need to lock that down girl.”
You roll your eyes at her. “That’s the thing, Janet. He doesn’t do relationships. He told me so multiple times. Plus I’m pretty sure he was texting another chick in between our ‘sessions’. I suppose if I’m desperate, I’ll get a hold of him.”
“You know you could always just have him on backup for sex. Like a friends with benefits situation.”
“Janet, I’m in my late 20s. I’m too old for that kind of relationship.”
“Exactly, you’re in your late 20s! This is the perfect time for that kind of relationship before you settle down and get married! Have one last final hoorah!”
“I can’t have this conversation before caffeine. I’m going to get coffee. You act like I’m dying soon or something.” You turn to walk away but then remember you were supposed to tell her something. “Oh yeah and by the way. The bulge is definitely not stuffed.”
You give her a wink and then head to the break room for some much needed coffee. When you see who’s in there, you almost contemplate going downstairs to a different break room.
Steve is standing at the counter, preparing his coffee. He turns when he hears you come in and gives you a once over. “Well, look what the cat dragged in.”
You grab a mug out of the cabinet beside him. “Sorry my appearance isn’t up to your standards today, Rogers. I was a little...busy this weekend.”
He takes a sip of his coffee to make sure it’s right. Then he moves out of your way so you can get to the coffee, but still staying close. “Busy getting run over by a truck? Cause that’s kind of what you look like.”
You pour yourself a generous amount of coffee and take a long sip, letting the bitter liquid slowly make you human. “Yeah, well. I was busy getting fucked all weekend, Rogers. But I know your little innocent mind wouldn’t know what that’s like.”
That wipes the stupid little smirk right off his face. He almost looks pissed. He moves even closer to you. Almost pressing himself right up against you. So close that you can smell his coffee-scented breath. If you were wearing panties, they’d be ruined.
“Not all of us feel the need to sleep around. Some of us are looking for a real connection. Not just a one night stand of meaningless, mediocre sex.”
You press yourself just a little closer to him, his chest now touching yours. “Oh, it was anything but mediocre. Maybe if you actually got some, you’d know what that feels like.”
He leans his head down until his mouth is next to your ear, his left hand now resting on your hip. “You really need to stop insinuating that I’m a virgin sweetheart. If you were nicer to me, I’d show you that I know how to fuck.” With that he backs up and heads out of the break room.
You let out the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. Jesus Christ. You swear you almost came.
And if you were nicer to him? Fuck him. He’s not nice to you either. That’s okay. You have someone who can scratch this itch.
You pull out your phone and send a quick text.
To: Fuckboi
You busy tonight? I could really use a release.
The reply came almost immediately.
From: Fuckboi
Didn’t get enough of my cock this weekend huh? I suppose I could make myself available.
You roll your eyes and quickly reply with your address and what time to be over.
The rest of the day passes by slowly. It takes you half the day to enter Steve’s expense report. God he’s descriptive. At least it’s completed. You can’t really say that much for the other Avengers. They usually half assed them and made them barely acceptable.
You are shutting down for the day when Steve approaches your desk. You remove your glasses and look at him expectantly. “Is there something I can help you with, Steve?”
A blush creeps it’s way across his cheeks. “Um, I was actually just wondering if you had time to go over the new expense report forms? They should be a lot easier to fill out.”
You glance down at the clock on your computer. Ransom is going to be at your place in about 20 minutes.“Can we do it tomorrow? I have company that’ll be showing up at my apartment in like 20 minutes.”
His hopeful smile falls. His face is now unreadable. “Would your company happen to be whoever you spent the weekend with?”
Confused, you grab for your purse after getting your computer shut down. “Actually, yes. Should I have asked your permission first?” You attempt a joke to ease the sudden tension.
He pulls out his phone and starts typing furiously. Wow. You weren’t aware he knew how to text. You hear it ping with a reply before he angrily puts it back in his pocket. “Sure, we can do this tomorrow. Wouldn’t want to get in the way of your whoreing around.”
Your jaw drops in surprise. Sure you guys were always throwing jabs at each other. But he’d never said anything like this before. And in such a mean tone.
You round your desk and stand right in front of him. “Fuck you, Steve.”
You hurry towards the elevators before he can see the tears that have welled up. You couldn’t let him know he had that power over you. Asshole. Thank god Ransom was coming over. Hopefully he could fuck what Steve just said right out of your head.
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You’ve lost count of how many orgasms Ransom has pulled from you with his mouth when there’s a knock on your door.
Ransom looks up at you from his kneeling position on your living room floor. “Did you invite someone else to join us, pretty girl?”
You scoff and push him away so you can stand up. You pull your dress down as you make your way towards the door. “Yeah. I can barely handle just you. I’m pretty sure if we added someone else, I’d actually die.”
You open the door and gasp in surprise. “Steve? What are you doing here?”
He rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Look, I know you probably already have company but I felt really bad about what I said to you earlier today and wanted to apologize.”
You have so many questions. “How did you know where I lived?”
That sheepish smile makes its appearance again. “I may or may not have looked in your employee file.”
You shake your head. “And you felt the need to come all the way here and apologize? Why not just text me?”
“It would only have felt right to me to do it in person. I really am sor-”
You feel a pair of arms wrap around you from behind. “Well, who do we have here? Why is Captain America at your door?”
You turn your head to address Ransom. “He just came by to apologize to me. I think he was just leaving.”
Steve has a disappointed look on his face. “Yeah, I suppose I was.”
“Awe, what a shame. I thought you were gonna ask him to join us, pretty girl.”
Steve’s eyes grow wide at the thought. You quickly speak up. “No, I don’t think he’d be comfortable with that. He’s a little old fashioned.” You give him a sincere smile. You didn't think that was a bad thing.
Steve looks back towards the elevators and then back to you. He clears his throat. “What if I wanted to join you?” Seeing your wide eyed look, he quickly adds, “Only if Y/N would be comfortable with that of course.”
You contemplate what the consequences could be in your head. But then you get distracted when Ransom starts grinding his hard on against your ass. “Come on, pretty girl. Make a decision.”
The next word comes out of your mouth faster than what your brain can process. “Okay.”
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Now you were standing awkwardly in your bedroom with Steve and Ransom looking at you expectantly.
You’ve never done this before so you’re not sure how this is supposed to go. “So, um. How do we start exactly?”
Ransom smirks and comes up behind you. “I think you should call the shots, pretty girl. If you’re okay with that, Steve?”
With the mention of his name, he walks towards you and places his hands on your hips. “I think that’s a great idea. Can I kiss you now?” He places his hand under your chin and raises your face up to meet his. “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.” With that, his lips meet yours. It’s explosive. You quickly wrap your hands around his neck and press yourself up against him.
You get so lost in the kiss, you forget that Ransom is there. That is until he presses his lips against your neck and presses himself against your ass. It presses you even further against Steve, making you feel his excitement against your lower belly.
You’re so overwhelmed already and you’d barely started. You may not survive this evening.
As you move your hands down to remove Steve’s shirt, Ransom is unzipping your dress, pressing kisses to every inch of exposed skin.
Without breaking the kiss, Steve moves his hands around to unhook your bra so he can get his hands on your breasts. He pinches your nipples, causing you to moan into his mouth. He moves his lips to your neck, sucking on your pulse point.
After successfully removing your dress, Ransom stands back up and turns your head to connect your lips. He starts rutting his clothed hard on against your naked ass. His left hand reaches around to bat one of Steve’s away so he can squeeze your breast.
Steve takes the hand that had been swatted away and moves it down to your soaking wet core. He starts lightly circling your clit. Just enough pressure to make you mewl.
You reach behind you with your left hand and tug at the waistband of Ransom’s briefs. “Off.” You moan out as you take your right hand and start attempting to take off Steve’s jeans. He smirks into your neck and helps you out. He barely gets them unbuttoned and unzipped before you’re reaching your hand into them and his boxers to grab his cock. It feels big.
Ransom grabs your left hand and places it on his now free cock. You wrap your hand around it and give it a squeeze before you start pumping your hand up and down. You do the same to Steve’s, making the both of them let out grunts against both sides of your neck. Steve increases the pressure on your clit a little. Still not enough.
“Nee-need, you. Please.” You weakly moan out. Ransom moves his mouth up to your ear. “How do you want us, pretty girl?”
You reluctantly pull away from both of them so you can think. You decide to be greedy. You point to Steve. “I want you to lay on the bed, please.”
He does as you ask. Putting his hands behind his head as he awaits further instructions.
You get on the bed and straddle him. You turn around and reach your arm out for Ransom. “Want you behind me.” You lean over and open your bedside drawer to grab the lube and toss it at Ransom. He smirks as he straddles Steve’s legs and gets behind you. He uncaps the lube and starts coating his cock with a generous amount. “Need my cock in that ass, pretty girl?”
You hold up your hand. “Wait.” You lean down towards Steve and give him a quick kiss. “Are you okay with this?”
He nods his head. “As long as you are.” You raise back up and smile at him. You turn your head and look at Ransom. “I’m assuming you're okay with this?”
He just smirks and squeezes some lube out so that it slides down the crack of your ass. “More than okay, pretty girl. Need me to stretch you out first?”
You smirk and pull him in for a quick, filthy kiss. “I think it got plenty stretched out this weekend.”
He matches your smirk. “You little slut. Wanting both of our cocks stuffing you full.”
You whimper as he lands a smack on your ass. Leaning up on your knees, you grab a hold of Steve’s cock and start running his tip up and down your folds. He places his left hand on your right hip and his right hand on your left thigh. “Condom?”
You quickly shake your head and pause your actions. “On the pill. Unless of course you’d be more comfortable with one.”
He shakes his head. “No, just making sure.”
You turn back to Ransom. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready for you.”
He nods and places his hands on your shoulders, waiting somewhat patiently.
You slowly sink down on Steve’s cock. He’s stretching you out so deliciously. It burns in just the right way. Ransom may be longer, but Steve is definitely thicker.
After you get fully seated on him, you take a minute to adjust. It only takes a few seconds. You turn your head towards Ransom. “Okay, I’m ready.”
He removes his right hand from your shoulder and grabs the base of his cock and starts pressing against the tight ring of muscle. He’d been in there a lot over the weekend. But it was still a tight fit regardless. He doesn’t go as slow and sheaths himself to the hilt, causing you to moan out in slight pain and pleasure.
Holy fuck. You feel so full. You think you might die. That is until Ransom removes his cock until just the tip remains and then forcefully thrust back in, causing you to grind on Steve’s dick.
Steve grunts out from the movement and starts thrusting up into you the best he can from his position. Ransom wraps his left arm around you and continues his thrusts, not letting up his pace. You don’t even really have to move, the both of them doing it for you. They somehow find the perfect rhythm. Each of them pulling out and pushing in at the same time. One of your hands is behind you, resting on the back of Ransom’s head while the other is resting on Steve’s chest.
Steve sits up suddenly and pulls you in for a kiss. “Like being stuffed with both of our cocks, pretty girl?” You hear from behind you. “Yes. So good. So full. Gonna cum.”
Ransom removes his arm from around you and reaches down and starts circling your clit. “Do it. Cum all over us. Make a mess.”
Steve can feel you squeezing him. “Please, sweetheart. Need to feel you cum on my cock. You’re gripping me so good.”
You explode. You clamp your eyes shut, seeing stars behind your eyelids. You let the both of them fuck you through it.
Ransom’s hips stutter. The fluttering around his cock is too good. He cums with a shout of your name, filling up your ass to the brim. He gives you a few more thrusts before he pulls out and collapses beside you two.
Steve’s been patient while you come down from your high. He lays back down, pulling you with him so that your chest to chest. He bends his knees and grabs onto your hips. “You ready, sweetheart?” You raise up, both of your hands on each side of his head. You give him a nod.
That’s all he needs. He starts fucking you, hard and fast, chasing his release. He can feel it building. He just needs to feel you come undone around him again. He moves one of his hands and starts circling your clit with his thumb. “Need you to cum for me again, Y/N.”
You shake your head. “Can’t. Too much.”
Ransom sits up beside you. “I know what she needs.” He reaches over with his left hand and wraps it around your throat, squeezing gently.
It makes you clench down on Steve’s cock. “Yeah? That all you needed, sweetheart? A hand wrapped around your pretty throat? I know you like it. Can feel you squeezing me.” He picks up his pace. The only sounds that can be heard are his grunts, your breathy monas, and skin slapping against skin.
It doesn’t take long for your orgasm to hit you. This one is somehow even more intense than the last.
You must’ve blacked out for a few seconds because the next thing you know, you’re waking up in between Steve and Ransom.
Steve smiles down at you. “There she is. We lost you for a second, sweetheart.”
You feel drunk. You smile goofily up at him. “Did you cum?”
Just as you ask that, you can feel his release seeping out of your overused cunt. Then you feel cum leaking out of your ass. You hide your face behind your hands in embarrassment. “I can’t believe we just did that.”
Ransom removes one hand while Steve removes the other. “Nuh uh uh. No hiding allowed, pretty girl. I have no regrets.” He looks at Steve. “Do you?”
Steve smiles down at you and leans down to press a soft kiss against your lips. “None from me. You tired, sweetheart?”
You let out a big yawn and nod your head, slowly closing your eyes. “Get some rest, pretty girl.” That’s the last thing you hear before sleep takes you.
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You wake up sometime in the early morning, stretching out your sore limbs. You know you have a dumb smile on your face. But you can’t help but notice your empty bed.
You sit up and hiss at the deliciously sore feeling between your legs. You grab your robe and slip it on. You can smell coffee coming from the kitchen. You giddily make your way out of the room and down the hallway. They both barely just come into view, still unaware you’re there, when you hear Steve speak.
“I thought you were going to be an asshole to her? Make her see I’m not that bad.”
You hear Ransom next. “I was an asshole to her. I’m sorry I dicked her down so good that she wanted more.”
Steve scoffs. “I never gave you the okay to fuck her!”
“You also didn’t tell me it was off limits. Look you got what you wanted right?”
“No, actually I didn’t. I didn’t pay you so we could have a threesome together.”
What the fuck? Steve paid Ransom to help him get in your pants?
“Ok, how about this? I’ll give you all of your money back if I can fuck her one more time before I go? Then we’ll be squared away.”
Steve seems to be conflicted. “Fine! But this is the last time Ransom. I have to get to work anyway. After this, she’s mine. And make sure she’s not late for work herself.”
Before you have time to react, Steve rounds the corner and sees you standing there. He has a deer caught in headlights look. Ransom comes up beside him and sees you. “Oh, honey, you weren’t supposed to see that.”
You slowly start backing up towards your bedroom. Steve moves towards you, stopping once you put your hands up. “Stay away from me! Both of you! I want nothing to do with either of you!”
Ransom moves past Steve and grabs onto your arms. “Oh, please. You’d fuck us again if we wanted. Wouldn’t you?”
You spit in his face. “Fuck you, Hugh.”
He gets a sinister look on his face. “Wrong move, pretty girl.” He looks toward Steve. “Don’t worry, I’ll fuck the brat out of her. You better tell her boss she won’t be in today.”
Your eyes go wide at his words. You start thrashing against him, trying your best to get away. Steve has had enough. He comes over and yanks you away from him and presses you against the wall. “You better calm down, sweetheart. I’ll treat you like a princess if you can be my good girl. Can you do that?”
You shake your head. “Why would you think I’d want anything to do with you after finding out you paid someone to help get into my pants?”
He gives you an evil smirk. “Because if you don’t, I’ll just have to release the tape of last night on the internet. Let everyone see how much of a slut you actually are.”
You narrow your eyes at him. “You’re bluffing.”
He smirks and turns his head towards Ransom. “Show her.”
Ransom gets his phone out of his pocket and swipes at the screen for a second before turning it in your direction.
Holy shit. They weren’t bluffing. There you were, getting fucked by the both of them. That would ruin you if it got out. Not only would you get fired, but your parents would probably disown you. You’d never have a normal relationship again. You’re fucked. Even more than you were last night. How had you not noticed they were recording it?
Ransom must have read your mind. “I set my phone up while you were busy with Steve’s fingers on your cunt and his tongue down your throat. I think you need to ask her again Steve.”
Steve grabs your chin and moves your gaze onto his face. “I’ll ask you again. Are you going to be my good girl? Let Ransom fuck you one more time and then it’ll just be me and you?”
You drop your gaze to the floor. You feel a tear run down your cheek as you whisper out, “I’ll be your good girl.”
Taglist: @stargazingfangirl18 @drabblewithfrannybarnes @harrysthiccthighss @lllols @patzammit @quxxnxfhxll
Steve Taglist: @donutloverxo
#captain america#dark!steve rogers/reader#dark!steve rogers smut#model!ransom drysdale#ransom drysdale smut#siris5ksoftdarkchallenge#this sweater wearing menace#shield throwing daddy#steve rogers smut#steve rogers#chris evans#chris evans smut#steve rogers x reader
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I can’t fall in love without you.
-> Sunwoo x reader
-> slight fluff, heavy(ish) angst
-> 1.7k (went a little crazy with this sorry not sorry.)
-> TW! Talks about a disease, major character death, lots of sadness and crying
-> @geniejunn @kvydence
-> @knet-bakery @k-dinernet @tbznetwork @foreverkpop-net @kpop-script
-> Please note that I am in NO WAY a professional in ANY field of medicine so please, off something sounds wrong to you, I’m sorry! 😭 also, rushed this once again during midnight, so it might be a bit messy! I hope it’s still good though- had a good cry writing this 💔
-> written for @yuta-senpai’s request for the tittle “I can’t fall in love without you” with the dialogue “please don’t fall in love without me” and the genre of angst. I hope you like this Sierra! I put lots of effort into this! Sorry if you don’t like it tho
-> main masterlist | the boyz masterlist
Laying down on your bed, you keep your small grip on Sunwoo’s hands not wanting to let go.
Never did you think you would be in this situation. You were always known as a very healthy and happy person so what happened that made you this way? Maybe this was God punishing you for being selfish for wanting Sunwoo all to yourself.
As you laid there helplessly with Sunwoo beside you quietly rubbing the back of your hands with his thumb, you couldn’t help but think back to when everything was okay- when you were still kids. You close your eyes and began to take deep breaths you begin to take a trip down your memory lane.
It didn’t take long before you started to cling onto him and following him where ever he goes. Sunwoo never minded and he had always thought it was super cute.
It didn’t take long before you started to cling onto him and following him where ever he goes. Sunwoo never minded and he had always thought it was super cute.
It didn’t take long before you started to cling onto him and following him where ever he goes. Sunwoo never minded and he had always thought it was super cute.
Every adult that saw you both would always compliment you two, saying how cute you’d look like a couple. Their words stuck to you as you soon started to develop more and more feelings for him, and before you knew it- you were in love.
Your best friend, your soulmate- you were in love with him. You knew all of his flaws and you were there when he was at his lowest, and yet you still loved him with your whole heart.
You don’t remember exactly when you started to have feelings for him, but all you know is that you will never tell him. Sunwoo could never know about your feelings- he can’t.
You were too scared that you would lose him when you confess, and losing him is like losing a part of you. Sunwoo was your other half- without him you would feel lost.
Your memories bring you back to the last day of kindergarten. It was a day you could remember clearly as you were sure this was the day you started having feelings for Sunwoo.
It was a bright and sunny day, the sky was blue, and laughter could be heard everywhere in the school. It was that day where a boy had called you ugly and told you that no one would ever want to have a girlfriend like you.
You had cried a lot that day- hiding under the big tree in one of the corners of the garden sniffing and sobbing quietly when Sunwoo came out of nowhere with candies in his hands. He opened the package of your favorite candy before he motioned you to open your mouth and putting it into your mouth.
“Don’t listen to that big bully!” He exclaimed as he took a seat beside you. “I think you are suuuuuper pretty!” He beams a smile at you.
“Re-really?” You asked him trying to contain your sniffs and tears.
“Of course! Other than my mommy, you are the most pretty girl I know!” He takes your hands in his, before gripping them tightly.
“You really think so?” You asked him as he gave you a firm nod. “But-but what if no one likes me like what he said? Then-then I’ll be lonely!” Tears begin to gather up in your eyes again, and Sunwoo panics, trying to stop you from crying.
“How about this?” He begins as you put your focus on him. “We’ll marry each other once we are old enough! Then we won’t have to be lonely!” He beams at you as a blush creeps onto your face unconsciously.
“You promise?” You asked him, your eyes big and wide staring at him with wonder in your eyes.
Sunwoo coos at them before holding up his hand, his pinky extended out.
“I promise!” He giggles as the smile never dropping once.
“Then-then,” you begin staring at his hands in curiosity before looking up and staring into his eyes. “can-can you promise that you won’t fall in love without me?” Your eyes sparkle in anticipation.
Sunwoo giggles before he forcefully hooks your pinky with his before sealing with your thumbs.
“I promise!”
You get snapped back into reality from your memories as it begins to feel more and more difficult to breathe. You couldn’t hear anything clearly, everything sounded as if your head was underwater. You open your eyes slowly to find that you were still faced with the white walls of the hospital.
You look around trying to see if anyone was in the room with you. You turn your head slowly to your left only to see Sunwoo sobbing quietly while his hands hold on to yours tightly.
Your hearing begins to slightly clear up as you finally understand what your doctor was talking about.
You didn’t have much time left.
You could feel it as you felt as heavy as a rock, not being able to move at all. You could barely keep your eyes open.
It felt like it was only yesterday when you had found out about this disease in you. At first, you were so confident that you could get over it as you were still really young, but when more and more time pass and you feel weaker and weaker, it felt as if death was just knocking on the door every day just waiting for you to give in to your death.
Beginning to tear up, you try to move your fingers slightly. Sunwoo looks up in shock as he feels the slight movements from your fingers as he tries to put on a small smile to cheer you up.
He goes up to you to caress your hair softly while trying to contain his sniffles and his tear.
“Everything will be okay,” he continues to stroke your head, “I promise.” His voice cracks in the end as he couldn’t help but break down again.
“I’m...sorry.” You whisper out, your voice barely audible. “I’m sorry...I can’t keep...our promise.” You feel your own tears begin to slide down the side of your face.
Sunwoo wipes the tears away as his own begins to fall. He tries his hardest to keep his smile going as he can hear his own heart starting to break.
“Do...do you remember our...promise? Back in Kindergarten?” You asked him slowly taking deep breaths in between words. Breathing and talking starting to get more and more difficult. Sunwoo mods quickly, his left hand still holding onto your hands tightly and his right hand still caressing your head.
“I...I take it back.” You wheeze out before taking in a big breath of air and continuing. “Go fall in love without me…be happy...forget about me,” more tears run down your face as Sunwoo finally lets out uncontrollable loud sobs.
“Please-“ he begs you, “please don’t leave me- I-I can’t fall in love without you!” He grabs your hand and puts it to his mouth, kissing you on the back of the hand as he begs and begs you to stay.
“I’m sorry...for wasting your time for all...these years.” You continue as your eyes begin to feel heavy.
“I’m sorry I never...told you that I’m...really thankful for having you...here.” You take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry...I never told you that…” you take another deep breath, your eyes slowly closing despite all your efforts to keep them open.
“I love you.” Your hands slip from his grip and you stop breathing. A single, lonely tear runs down your cheek as you finally close your eyes, never to open them again.
Sunwoo freezes as he slowly takes in the situation. His head was spinning as your heart monitor displayed the flat line and doctors and nurses rush him out of the way to give you defibrillation- sending shocks to your still-warm body, and yet- nothing happens. Silence filled the room as the sound from the heart monitor echoed in the room.
“I'm sorry for your lost.” He tells your parents as they sob in each other’s arms. “But we tried our best.” He then hurried out of the room with the other nurses following after him.
Tears began to fall down uncontrollably as Sunwoo finally get a grasp on the situation.
You were gone.
You are really gone.
Sunwoo felt as if the sun in his life was taken away from him. He felt cold and sad as if there was nothing left in the world that could warm him up and make him happy again.
Memories of all the time he spent with you all replayed in his mind. He could never forget even a single memory made with you. You were his best friend, his soulmate, his other half- you were his everything in this cold world, and now that you were gone, Sunwoo feels as if there would be no more good in the world.
Waking up to your peaceful body, Sunwoo carefully touches you, treating you as if you were some porcelain doll. He takes your left hand and puts it to his face only to find it cold and stiff- unlike your usual hands that were always warm and soft.
He closes his eyes as he tries to imagine you smiling at him again and he feels another wave of emotions hit him. Opening his eyes he carcasses your hair once again before removing the oxygen mask from your face.
Placing a gentle kiss on your forehead he looks at your face once again before placing a delicate peck on your cold lips. He wipes your now dried tears off your face as his own tears begin to fall into you.
Taking in a small breath, Sunwoo let out a small whisper- as if the thing he was about to say was for the two of you and the two of you only.
Trying to contain his sobs his bites his lips as he closed his eyes and lays his forehead against yours.
“I love you too.” He gently whispers to you, although you will never be able to hear his words. “So much…” he sobs loudly and painfully. Anyone that hears him can feel their own hearts breaking.
“I love you.”
@ junjungsunwoo, all rights reserved.
#knet-bakery#kdiner#k-diner#fkp-net#tbznetwork#sunwoo#kim sunwoo#sunwoo kim#TBZ#the boyz#tbz sunwoo#the boyz sunwoo#sunwoo x reader#kim sunwoo x reader#sunwoo x fem!reader#kim sunwoo x fem!reader#angst#Sunwoo angst#Kim Sunwoo angst#tbz angst#the boyz angst
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