#but it'd be cool if they trusted us as an audience

[maicrowave]

ello

I have some thoughts, but I want to say them in a way that isn't aggressive or patronizing.

obviously a lot of jokes and discourse are newly on the table in the modern dan & phil era, especially in comparison to 2013.

i think the main principle is to follow their lead. ten years ago, they were pretty clearly setting boundaries for things they Didn't Want To Talk About (sexuality, relationships). Boundaries that people (fans, coworkers, interviewers) crossed over and over. It's worth noting I'm not really talking about fanfiction here—banning rpf is futile, and, lest you forget Dan Howell said he has read youtuber rpf for fun—I'm talking about real life speculation. I believe that's what hurt them.

in the modern era, let's learn from that (probably kinda traumatic) time and follow their lead. they're both openly gay—gay discourse is fine! They're pretty ambiguous about their relationship (see: "are we gay? did we fuck?" quote from dystopia daily's 'Dan and Phil Tell the Truth' video), so jokes of that caliber are ok (imo).

On the other hand... Invasions of privacy? Trying to "prove" things about their personal lives that they've repeatedly stated they don't want to elaborate on? Especially posting that "proof" to public websites. Bringing up past content, posts, etc, that they clearly still don't want to acknowlege? Let's refrain.

Obviously dnp have come to terms with a lot of this stuff existing on the internet... then again, they didn't exactly have a choice. but here's my thoughts: tumblr is a public website, literally anyone can make an account. Dan and Phil want to get into the mainstream via acting/writing projects. If they get popular enough, mainstream media outlets will dig, and some of the personal old stuff is not hard to find... and even easier to look for if people are talking about it all the time. And I would hate, despise even, to see some detached popular media outlet make some "tea" article containing personal stuff from dnp's past that they've tried to move on from/delete. So just... keep in mind plz. I don't want to make them hurt/sad again.

tl;dr: if you're older in the fandom, let's set a good example for any incoming or younger ppl and meet dnp where they're at with the jokes & content, and avoid invasions of privacy!

#<3 #here's to the new era #dan and phil #phan #dnp #longgggg #i know people obsess over these things because it makes them happy to see them happy #but idt drawing attention to some of it is going to make them feel good/safe #or mayyybe they don't care at this point bc there will always be someone who doesn't rlly understand/care about boundaries #but it'd be cool if they trusted us as an audience #i guess we're all just individuals #one of us is a cannibal #statistically

[tremorsmackenzie]

one thing i love about aos is the way that characters reasons for what they do are most of the time presented neutrally and with depth.

its never "this character is right and everyone else is wrong". every person in aos has a unique personality and reasons for why they are the way they are and think the way they do, why they respond to situations in certain ways, and its just presented as is.

theyre people making choices and sometimes those are wrong or inconsiderate or tragic but still perfectly understandable and in line with who they are.

but then also, thats not used as an excuse for their behaviour. its perfectly clear why ward is the way he is for example, and why he does what he does, but hes still a bad person. the way daisy deals with the aftermath of hive is tragic and terrible and full of bad choices while still being perfectly understandable, but the show doesnt judge her and tells you what to think about it, its just presented as is and you can draw your own conclusions.

same way with coulson in season 5. not telling anyone about his deal with ghostrider is messed up, but theres a lot of nuance and it doesnt get disregarded at all and you can view it from multiple perspectives and understand where everyone is coming from.

i dont know if i really got across what i mean, im just pointing it out because its refreshing and just nice. It'd be cool if more media trusted its audience like this.

#agents of shield #aos meta

[problemswithbooks]

More Dain Stuff

So I'm still thinking about Dain and more so, who he might end the story with.

Now, I'm 98.9% sure Violet will stick with Xaden. Not saying it couldn't be interesting if, after the whole Venin thing and their already rocky relationship they broke up, but at the same time that's not how romance novels are written. The story might have dragons, but it is primarily a romance book. Xaden has always been the main focus of Violet and they got together in the first book--just like other fantasy/romance books; think Edward/Bella or Alina/Mal. Plus, most of her audience really like them together; not having them as end game would be alienating her readers.

So Dain's not ending up with Violet. To be honest he could end the story single if he survives, but I'd be a little surprised. Many authors even outside the romance genre have a habit of pairing up their characters at the end. It would be nice if the series didn't go that route, especially if it didn't have a time-skipped epilogue, but I'm expecting at least the main side characters to get paired up to some extent since it is a romance book.

That leaves the question of who he could be paired up with. It's hard to say at this point because he hasn't had many interactions with anyone besides Violet. The few times other characters mention him, most don't really like him. They're are Violet's friends or Marked, so they already have a poor opinion of him or hate him for Liam's death.

I'm not saying that Yarros couldn't have those characters change their opinion of Dain in later books (I really hope they do) and then pair him off with one of them. The issue is that I think most of Violet's close group have been given hints already to who they'll end up with. Sawyer is crushing on Jesinia, Imogen on Garrick. Rhiannon is with Tara, who will hopefully get better established as a character in later books. Though brief Sloane and Cam have some flirtation and in a lot of ways it would make a lot of sense to have them end up together, particularity if Cam becomes King. It would fully show the Marked ones are apart of the kingdom again and fully trusted.

Now, Ridoc is a possibility, but only if Dain is established as bi (which isn't impossible). The biggest hurdle there is that Ridoc is the exact opposite of Dain in a lot of ways. He's the goofball, while Dain is portrayed as a strict. Ridoc doesn't like him. It's really doubtful they'd get along. That could change as the series goes on; Ridoc could show a more serious side, while Dain could lighten up. Violet said he used to smile and laugh a lot, be less of a rule follower. Maybe Ridoc could bring that back out. I think it could be pretty cute and honesty it'd be cool if Yarros put an end to a love triangle by pairing up the spare with another guy.

One possibility though that I really find interesting and I could see is Cat.

First of all she also needs paired up as that failed third wheel of a love triangle with Xaden. There is a man in her Gryphon Flier group that likes her, so that might be who she gets put with in the end, but if that does happen I hope he gets a bit more screen time given how important Cat has been at least during Iron Flame.

Second, their powers complement each other. Dain can see memories (pretty much read minds to an extent) while Cat can manipulate emotions as long as they're present. I could easily see these two using teamwork to get stuff done. Cat could get someone upset enough that they lower their shields so Dain can read them, or Dain could read someones memories and give Cat the best ammunition to get them into the state of mind she needs to manipulate their emotions. Physical fights wouldn't change much but in intelligence work they could be really good as a team.

Third, I want a Flier/Rider romance and Cat's the most prominent Gyphon Flier we have as of Iron Flame. She's third in line for the throne which is interesting and could mean she ends up as Queen. Giving her a dragon Rider partner could be a good way of showing that even once the Venin are gone Navarre and Poromeil are still allies. Also would be interesting to see how a relationship like that was seen by the dragons.

Fourth, it'd be a bit funny. Cat is Xaden's ex, while Dain was Violet's first crush and childhood friend. I doubt Xaden would care much, since he never cared about Cat, but I think Violet would have many conflicting feelings about it which would be fun to see her stress over. By the end of Iron Flame she seems to have grown to respect Cat and Cat respects her in return, but I it wasn't that long ago she hated her. Meanwhile, although she was furious at Dain, he was her best friend for fifteen years.

It'd just be funny to see Violet struggling with that sort of roller coaster of emotions and perhaps catching herself thinking similar things Dain said to her about Xaden. I mean I could see her first thought being Cat is getting close to Dain to mess with her, since she can't get to Xaden anymore. Having her catch herself and realize she's making snap judgments could lead to some interesting conversations with both Dain and Cat or even Xaden talking to her more about his past with Cat. Just cool character interactions all around!

Fifth, character development. Dain is seen as Mr. By the Book, and although there probably isn't some rule against Flier/Rider relationships (because they've never worked together before) it could still be seen as wrong. They might be working together but they were enemies for hundreds of years. Dain picking Cat despite it being seen as against the spirit of the Codex continues his growth as getting over his issue of putting rules before people he cares about.

Meanwhile Cat, although tackling her anti-Dragon Rider hate and working with Violet has another flaw the one that was probably the biggest reason her and Xaden broke up. She wanted a crown. Now, I actually don't think this is a terrible thing for her to want given what we know of her and her situation. Poromeil has been essentially left to die by Navarre for hundreds of years. Frankly it makes sense Cat would want political power so she could use it to form an alliance with a Kingdom that might be strong enough to save her home.

Still the story makes it appear to be a flaw--that she wanted a crown over love. So, in that sense picking Dain, someone who isn't a prince or king, and has very little sway with anyone with power (Xaden hates him, and he deserted the army so he doesn't have any allies on that front either--dude is not getting a good job no mater whose in charge) shows she'll pick over over a crown. Even if afterwards she still gets the throne of Poromeil for whatever reason, it'd still prove she picked Dain over power.

So, that's my essay on possible end ships for Dain. I sort of still think he'll die--I'm always prepared for a character I like to die. But if he does live and get paired up I'd say it'd be Cat, with Ridoc as a runner up.

#fourth wing #iron flame #iron flame spoilers #Dain Aetos #Catriona Cordella #I actually forgot Ridoc had a hook up with a guy #until I started writing this post #and i think it would be cute actually #goofball with serious partner who has to keep them inline sometimes is adorable #and it would be cool for Yarros to end a love triangle with the dumbed guy getting together with a man for once #but I don't think it's as likely as Cat #Yarros doesn't seem super good writing lgbt+ couples since both queer couples she has are flings/ with partners who are not fully introduce #so id be surprised if we got two decently fleshed out characters in a queer relationship in the end #I mean I'm just hoping Rhi's girlfriend gets more fleshed out by the end #and from a writing perspective Cat/Dain has more to offer in way of compelling story-lines #mostly because they're both connected to Violet and Xaden in interesting ways then Ridoc is #And I've seen people think Cat will be with Cam (cuz he's the prince) but I think Sloane is a better choice there #Even if Tyrrendor becomes independent it'd still be nice to have Cam/Sloane to show the Marked Ones are fully excepted and safe in Nararre #Also I think it makes more sense since Cat being third in line is brought up alot #so I sort of expect she'll be queen of Poromeil by the end #which make Cam being a prince unneeded #unless the book ends with the two kingdom's uniting #which it could i guess #but sort of doubt #frankly id still like violet/Xaden/Dain as end game--u could even shove Cat in there

[quackle]

Between Julia and Heather, who’s a better villain in your opinion?

hm... even though i like reboot s1 more than s1, i'm still leaning more towards heather. rambles as to why under the cut:

the narrative heather got was completely different from julia's. for the most part, you could see exactly how heather causes all these eliminations around her, namely in s1 when she was the main antagonist. she was rather obvious to us, the audience, and we can label so many eliminations as complete and utter bullshit because why oh why did people trust heather for that long, but it was still explained well enough why certain people got voted off because of her. nothing felt too off screen. she's thee face of the villains of the show (to me!)

meanwhile, julia was an antagonist for both seasons she was in. and while it was cool in that first season, the second one... well, it felt like it fell flat. like i said, julia's narrative is completely different from heather's. i actually liked how julia seemed to be a villain just because, rather than heather who grew up to be that way due to circumstances like her upbringing and past bullying. sometimes people are malicious for seemingly no reason! we need more of that shown in shows!

but while it felt like heather's caused eliminations were well planned out, julia's felt so damn rushed, especially with all those off screen actions. it got to the point where i would roll my eyes at the start of every ep because i knew who was going home, but i could never predict why since it'd be something so outlandish and random mentioned either before the elimination ceremony or during it. i would have been cool with julia as a finalist if her actions were shown more, but they weren't, so it was stale. to me. (she had iconic faces tho like i'll give her that and that only!)

this could have all been avoided if the writers used their typical formula: never give a main antagonist from a previous season the main antagonist role in the very next season. you know who should have been THEE main antagonist in reboot s2? HER.

one of the biggest missed opportunities of reboot s2 imo. but that's a rant for another day.

#anyways. yeah heather! #ask quackle #anonymous #td spoilers

[onstoryladders]

Do you know those early 2000s to mid 2010s shows with 26 episodes per season and full of filler eps where one of the characters like, learns to play soccer or whatever, just for that to never be brought up again for the whole of the show?

If stranger things was one of those shows, what filler episodes would you write?

(originally sent this to foodiewithdahoodie but it was so great I'd love to see more answers now)

THIS IS SUCH A COOL ASK GDBDJDBDNDGDG

Alright so I would definitely use those filler eps to explore different relationships and dynamics! I would hate to let them go nowhere tho 😭

These ideas are mostly funny, with a 2000s sitcom/Disney Channel show vibe gdvdudbsb

❀ THE OBLIGATORY SPOOKY EPISODE

This could be set on a Halloween night, but whatever works! The kids find themselves in a spooky situation, maybe they decide to explore an abandoned house or get stuck somewhere and get scared because they think there are ghosts or something gfbrkfbdy this would be the kind of episode where the audience sees unlikely pairings working together after being separated from the others (imagine Madwheeler... it'd be hilarious!).

The ending would be left ambiguous. Are there ghosts in the house? Who knows 👀

❀ OBLIGATORY VALENTINE'S DAY EPISODE

Will works on a mysterious paintings for Valentine's Day and Mike is seething with jealousy... until he realizes that the painting is actually for him. But of course Will gives him some bullshit excuse like "I wanted to celebrate our friendship because that's love too!" (valid sentiment in general but not for THEM) and good ol' oblivious Mike doesn't suspect a thing.

The others realize it's bullshit immediately.

ALTERNATIVELY Mike is used to Will and himself not receiving anything for Valentine's Day, so he decides to leave an anonymous message/some chocolates in Will's locker, but then he realizes Will's actually already received some... because we all know Will pulls a lot of bitches 🙌🏻 so he's sad and jealous. And then Will leaves an anonymous message for him too! And maybe something makes Mike realize who the sender is and so he smiles to himself as he reads... 🥰

❀ THE JOB HUNT

Steve decides to quit his job and needs the help of his friends to find a new one. Disasters ensue, and in the end he begs his previous employer to get him back – absolutely nothing changes lmao

❀ THE FUNDRAISER

This is a must. The Party needs to get money for something important, and they come up with a ridiculous way to do it, potentially against the older teens' will gdbdbdhd I can imagine them doing something really dumb and Nancy and the others having to fix their mess before any of the adults find out. Siblings bonding episode!

❀ THROUGH HOLLY'S EYES

An entire episodes narrated through Holly's eyes! Through her interactions and the things she sees and hears in the Wheeler house. Byler crumbs 👀

❀ THE SECRET

A character has a secret and does whatever they can to keep the others from finding out, but one of their friends find out and they have to promise not to spill the tea and to help them. Lucas, Max and Dustin as a focus for this one would be great!

❀ THE BABYSITTER

Someone is stuck working as a babysitter and chaos ensues. I imagine Steve as a character who does 54747473 different jobs like Miss Rabbit from Peppa Pig 💀 and he just ends up at the Wheeler house because Mike's parents don't trust him. So of course Mike has to find a way to get out of Steve's sight, and well... The Party is just waiting for an excuse to wreak havoc anyway 😈

They get in trouble and have to work together of course, so when the Wheelers get home they find all Mike's friends there and Steve like 🧍🏻‍♂️

❀ SCHOOL HEIST

Max and Will have a very bad grade in a subject at school, and an important test is coming up, but neither of them are confident in their knowledge and so Will proposes to steal the answers!

Bonus points if they're not just doing it for the good grade, but also because they made a bet with the others that they wouldn't fail it lmao

Also it'd be hilarious if they got stuck somewhere and had to ask for help 🤣 and El finds them but she wants to tell the truth and so in the end Max and Will have to buy her silence lmao

❀ THE MAKEOVER

El gets asked out on a date but she has no idea what to do and Max isn't there. Luckily Nancy decides to help and gives her a makeover, but she also help her understan what she really wants and also that she doesn't have to go on a date if she doesn't want to!

So in the end they stay home and watch a movie or something gsgvdg and maybe there's a scene where El does Nancy's hair in a cute style 🥰

THIS WAS SUPER FUN TO WRITE THANKS!

#mail 💌 #byler #st sitcom edition

[braininatankwithalaptop]

My literal one problem with Wakanda Forever, is they never *resolve* the siren thing.

I don't mean explain, they didn't have to do that (in fact I'm glad that they trusted the audience to accept that). What I mean is that they introduce the concept, they use it two times. And the Wakandans never . . . overcome it? We don't see a sign in the final battle where they're all wearing sonic proof ear plugs. We don't see their wrist beads set up to shock them when detecting signs of hypnosis, which signals us to further respect and appreciate Shuri's planning and technological developments.

Hell, I was really expecting to see M'Baku's shouting when he pops back up out of the water be used as a way to snap people out of the hypnosis. It'd be a great parallel to the American scientist using a gun. The Americans are called to action/focus by their military, the Wakandans are called by camaraderie and culture.

I don't know, it feels more of a reference (either to the comics or the myth of sirens) than an actual story element. It's cool, but not as impactful as the other symbolism.

#black panther #black panther wakanda forever #black panther can honestly be its own thing #Marvel and the MCU is holding it back at this point #black panther wakanda forever spoilers #wakanda forever spoilers

[bookwyrminspiration]

Have you read the first 3 chapters of Stellarlune yet?

I have! I read them when I woke up this morning and it was a pleasant surprise, though I wasn't necessarily surprised by the content in them.

Sophie being all "we need to find Keefe right now" was one of my main expectations for her--the "you know what? fuck this" mindset was more of a haha that'd be cool prediction, but she's got that I can fix him attitude and she refuses to let go of it! She simply cares very much about everyone and thinks that she needs to personally help everyone she can. It was interesting to see how the adults reacted and were like "okay but maybe he can handle himself." Though Sophie does make good points about the human world--I've even capitalized on things like that in the wings au. Sophie had to stop Tam from just walking into the street once in the au, and while Sophie did tell Keefe about some of the rules when they went to London in canon, he definitely doesn't know all of them, which could be a huge problem.

One of my thoughts was that Sophie said everything was about trust when talking to Dex, because it seems like she doesn't trust Keefe right now. She doesn't trust his ability to make good decisions, to get by, to have thought everything through. And while that may be true, I just found it interesting. Keefe made a decision on what to do for himself based on his experience and fears that he thinks will be safest for everyone, and as soon as Sophie finds out about it, she's trying to undo it and bring him back. She's rejecting everything about his choice.

You know, when Keefe ran away the first time, it was in a Keefe is wrong and this is a horrible idea and I should've listened to you situation. I think it'd be interesting if instead of repeating that, this time it's written as Sophie being wrong and Keefe making the smart decisions. So instead of him apologizing to her for running away and causing problems, she ends up apologizing to him for chasing after him and not trusting him.

I also wasn't expecting Lord Cassius's memories to become a part of it, though I suppose given that we've got two whole books left of mysteries to uncover and solve and he's got a whole life with Gisela that we don't know about that he's bound to have more relevance to the story. Was kinda satisfying to see Ro lay into him, even if her buoyant attitude about sokeefe was as uncomfortable to read as ever. She made some good points

I think the one thing I was disappointed by was how the secrets from the last book were immediately revealed. Keefe and Dex had that whole "this is super serious information that we can't tell anyone" conversation and then within the first three chapters of the next book Dex is already telling Sophie because she won't stop prying. Grady did keep his promise not to tell about the imparter he has to contact Keefe, which I like, but I kinda wish there'd been more time in which the fact he'd seen Keefe before he left was kept secret. I know for us it was a long time (like two years...) but in terms of the story it felt like they weren't even secrets, they got uncovered too quickly. Especially since it's such a rare opportunity that we, the audience, have information about other characters that Sophie doesn't! Unlocked is the only book where we can learn about something Sophie doesn't, and the majority of that was just stripped away. All we really have left is the imparter, which is still valuable, but I wish the rest had been prolonged a little.

That's not to say I didn't enjoy it, because I did enjoy it! Those were just some of the thoughts going through my head as I was reading. I'm definitely curious to see what comes next though, so the countdown to Stellarlune continues!

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc stellarlune #stellarlune spoilers #quil's queries #nonsie #at first when I saw this ask I was super confused #the fandom found out about the preview at like 2am my time #so I saw this and was like??? the what??? do you mean the three deleted quotes shannon has shared?? #but then I found the preview and realized what you were talking about

[anxietycheesecake]

Not tagging this for obvious reasons (I'm not an agent of chaos, sorry), but I'm still reluctantly 50/50.

Like, I don't see it as clearly as other people do. I still see the potential for backpedaling or even it not being the intention at all. Don't get me wrong, I can't imagine this going any other way without it being bad writing™ or at least disappointing, but we don't live in the logical world.

It might seem obvious but I also see how it might be "haha vampirism got them acting like boyfriends" jokes. Kind of no-homo expect yes-homo just not towards each other. I mean, not mean-spiritted or anything, just playing with the idea.

I remember watching it for the first time without fandom influences and going "yeah, they do make a joke about vampire crush every now and then/lol waiting to get turned is a bit like waiting for the guy you like to notice you". Then I started reading essays on tumblr and I got the brainrot.

It'd make the most sense if there was something romantic under the surface, I agree. It'd be weird if it weren't. But I totally see the possibility of it just being one-off jokes that never come to a canon relationship. It's obvious they deeply care about each other, but I wouldn't count on an explicit romance just yet. Because this other explanation is clearly what resonates the most with the casual audience (we're the 1%, regardless of how loud we are) and the actual, explicit will-they-won't-they of the show: is Gigi becoming a vampire or not?

That's the hook. Anything else might or might not be there, but that's been the hook from day one. And even if they didn't expect us to read into it, all those signs that the ship might happen can also be interpreted as jokes related to THE ACTUAL LITERAL AND TEXTUAL QUESTION THE PLOT WANTS US TO ASK.

Actors are not writers. I love them, but they're not. Most times, they know as much as we do. And writers have said some 😬 stuff in the past. Even recently, I've heard them said things in the line of "if people want to interpret it as that, it's cool, maybe someday", which most times means most likely not but we're not homophobic pieces of shit /gen. This is post s3.

So just for the record I'm not worried in the slightlest about favorite wife. My unknown girl Marwa isn't part of the reason behind this post, same way I know Freddie is not here to be the man of anyone's life. They're going to serve a purpose, provide some chuckles and character development and leave forever, one way or another. A piano will fall on that zombie's head before she can even say "I do." Trust me on this, but also know it doesn't erase everything I just said.

I'm calling it now (feel free to save the post to rub it on my face in a few months. My pessimistic ass loves being wrong), s4 won't bring anything that significantly points to canon endgame. Much like s3. It might happen just like it might not. We will have gay shit, just not the specific brand of gay shit we want. Maybe (MAYBE) if the response is overwhelmingly possitive, they'll start seriously considering it for later seasons (remember 3 and 4 were written together). But don't expect love confessions here.

Also I'm begging you, when someone asks if the ship is in fact canon, no matter how close it seems, just answer honestly as for the current state of the series. I would have watched it anyway, but I would have managed my expectations better. Now I'm stuck here with the rest of you. /hj

#negativity

[thewickedbohemian]

Fellow So Help Me Todd fans (or w/e we're going to call ourselves as esp. if this show goes on as we want it to we need a demonym), what would you most want to see in future seasons of So Help Me Todd (y'know because we all want to see future seasons of So Help Me Todd)

Here's some of mine

a musical episode later into the show (as both Buffy and Psych had theirs a ways in and assuming it gets that many seasons I don't see SHMT having one until at least a S5) but in a *crosses fingers* S3 I want at least some opportunity for Todd and/or Judy to sing (could be anything from karaoke to one of them (as as a not-technically-a-detective Judy would make the perfect undercover asset) going undercover as a singer a la Leverage's The Studio Job)

If Jenifer Lewis could have the time to appear again as Jacqueline Burton (and could perhaps be as much a recurring-guest-star as her schedule allows) since Jenifer irl has bipolar disorder I think it would be interesting for it to be canon that Jacqueline is bipolar as well (shed some educational light on a scary-seeming disorder by showing a good guy with it for once)

On the topic of mental health a thing I've wanted for this show for a while is for one of the many neurodivergent-seeming main characters (whoever the writers think best fits a given disorder with whatever disorder they best fit (e.g. Todd with ADHD, Lyle with autism etc.)) to go through an adult-diagnosis arc canonizing it and how I'd do that if I wrote for the show (though I don't trust my handling of these characters to find more than broad concepts for episodes or arcs) is through a parallel-recognition thingie when the firm's working a case regarding a parent of a kid with the same disorder fighting Portland Public Schools on behalf of their child (inspired by how Ray Romano's Parenthood character found out he was autistic and if it's Todd himself or anyone else at the firm they'd find it out themselves but if it's someone outside like either of Todd's siblings he notices it about them because of the case)

I mean this in the best possible way but Allison could use a therapist

Wherever Todd's actual career takes him I think it'd be cool if more seasons meant the twice-in-two-seasons pattern was kept up of Todd having to "play lawyer"

more Psych homages/getting Psych-level experimental (like was shown this season with "Dial M For Margaret" the Rear Window homage)

the wardrobe department to (unless it truly is fitting for everyone's character) stop with the dressing half the cast in really obnoxious patterns at once

Some other Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist alum to guest-star outside the musical episode (given the vibe of this show I could see Alex Newell showing up as another unconventionally-gendered character) and Todd making some joke-to-us-the-audience (like his "I hate theater kids" in "End On A High Note") about them looking familiar and if he knows them from somewhere

The endgame arc for Jodd (Judy/Todd) if they're truly going to be the endgame ship of if-this-show-lasts-longer (or at least part of it as for all we know some poly shit could happen either involving just Lyle as well (to appease the Tyle shippers and as the broadcast equivalent of the Leverage OT3) or Lyle and Ariel) being Judy eventually getting her PI license and becoming Todd's detecting partner in addition to romantic partner as a full-circle-parallel-redemption from what happened with him and Veronica

So what would you guys want to see in more So Help Me Todd

#so help me todd #save so help me todd #savesohelpmetodd #renewsohelpmetodd

[braceletofteeth]

"His concept of art makes no sense." Yes, that's been boggling my mind forever. If there were always a transformative aspect to it or something (which I assumed to be the case because of his little arts and crafts table), it'd make sense. But... there isn't really? Hannibal's kills are pretty consistent (TV show, not sure about the books) with his lofty ideals of transformation, elevating things etc. whereas Moonjo keeps confusing me. (Another rewatch for analytic purposes is necessary, huh?)

This has been running through my head for days and still I'm not sure I can give you a good answer (it's not my first time talking about it, but I don't have a very steady opinion on the matter). I'll try to stick to reason as much as I can.

Let's start with what we know. Moonjo has said about what he does: "I break things up, put them together, and recreate".

Now, that could be him talking about his little craft work with jewelry (even though I think the more appropriate word, in this case, would be "take" instead of "break up", since the teeth are material to him, not remainders—he doesn't break the material, he acquires/collects it from a source). That could be it, but based on the final result of his "masterpiece", let's consider he values his work on people more.

Then, the transformative aspect, in this case, it’s not off the table. In his own way, he’s elevating gruesome acts, people’s nature, and murder, all to the level of art.

Since you mentioned Hannibal and is aware of his methods, I think is safe for me to make a brief comparison between them. Consider Hannibal’s tableaus first. The only people involved in the making of them are Hannibal and his victims (his material); then his art pieces are presented to the world, and the rest of the world’s role is of the audience. You may take it in with horror or awe, but the work is done; you’re not supposed to physically interact with his art, because you’re not part of it.

Moonjo’s art, on the other hand, is interactive. He’s an artist who inserts himself in the art he makes (beyond the part where he kills the victims; he dedicates a longer time to them). Other people may interact with it, too (although I would not recommend it). Everybody has partial free will and can make their own decisions, as long as they are in tune with the rules and the desired ending—if they are not, these people are taken (quite literally) out of the play.

I mainly refer to Moonjo’s art as “performances”, because it’s always a single-watch show, with no records to tell they actually happened but the teeth he collects (which I believe are some sort of souvenirs, little reminiscences Why does he put them in rings instead of just keeping them? Good question. I don’t really understand their purpose either.).

It begins with him finding someone to play the main role—usually of a person driven insane before they die (as I believe was the case of the previous people who lived at Eden), but, most recently, the role he tried to fit the foreign guy (the one who used to live in room 303 and had a very concerning diary) and Kihyuk into, but only Jongwoo performed with honors: of the man who had a killer confined under his skin, yet to be freed from his shell (I say “freed” but someone else could say “ripped out”, it depends on your interpretation. The point is Moonjo having a role in their becoming, since it seems important to him that he does, one way or another).

After he chooses this person, there is all the theatrics involving the other tenants at Eden, the manipulation of reality that makes people question what they know, what is right, who they can trust, why are other humans like this and, you know, what the hell in general. Let’s not forget that Moonjo is not only the self-inserted artist, but also the main audience of the show. He enjoys watching people getting confused, losing their cool, being confronted with truths about themselves and with the realities they are afraid of. He wants to know what they will do in the unusual situations he creates for them.

Normal life is so boring, isn’t it? Go to work, make money, look like a perfectly decent human being to appease others. What a (cruel, demanding, annoying) joke. Moonjo has to play the same boring role everyday, like everyone does to thrive in society. He's the neighbourhood's nice doctor outside. But not when he's at the residence. In his society, he chooses the roles, and people have to play by his rules if they want to survive. That’s what it means to be a god in this little paradise called Eden. It may not be a good place for the rest, but it’s perfect for him. The normal world is too dull and lacks flair. But not Eden (as a concept, not the building, of course). A place which came out of a dream, that you’d expect in a movie or in a dark painting, with distorted faces that give you nightmares.

The horror of it all—that’s the real art. Carefully shaped immorality. To him, the route that leads you to your death is as important as the the final act's execution. Perhaps, it is the process what he enjoys the most. Because there is a story behind it, a story he creates himself. You don’t “just die”.

So when Moonjo looks at Jongwoo and says they do something similar, it’s because they really do. They create their own world. Jongwoo’s is a fictional one, a safe environment where he can explore his thoughts and desires without anyone getting hurt (or judging him), and Moonjo’s little world may look more real at first, but it’s all his reflection. Eden, without him, without his vision, is just a place where people go to be tortured and die. Moonjo and his experimentation of human nature give meaning to it. He’s a man with a philosophy... an artistic, romanticized philosophy. He’s not doing it for anyone other than himself and his own appreciation.

He doesn’t care about recognition, or any kind of opinion about what he does, good or bad. Till Jongwoo, he was perfectly fine out of the radar and only sharing what was necessary with the other residents (they would not understand him, anyway).

There is a scene, in the last episode, where Jongwoo asks him “Why do you do this?” and Moonjo responds “There is no reason. That’s what people are made of. It’s your instinct to chew each other out when we’re with one another, then grow tired as we watch them suffer”, and I’m not sure if it was actually him and not Jongwoo’s subconscious self (the hallucination or the alter persona or the version of him that Jongwoo presented to the world in his story I have to worry about so many details because of the last episode Istg the ending only complicates everything), but considering the option he did say that at some point… It kinda matches the “I don’t want to hide myself and I’m tired of everyone's pretenses” mindset, doesn’t it? And there is also another scene (that I’m almost one hundred percent sure truly happened), in which he asks Jongwoo “You had fun when you killed everyone here, didn’t you?”, which supports the idea of him doing it for entertainment (and expecting Jongwoo to do the same). Observe that when he says “(…) then grow tired as we watch them suffer”, he makes use of the word then, which suggests that he is definitely not tired (bored) as he chews them out. On the contrary, he is having fun, as much as Jongwoo must have had when he took his place.

So there are these two motivations that (may) converge when it comes to his art: to create a romanticized, utopian reality, crafted by his hands; and a source of entertainment.

#answered #strangers from hell #Writing this I remembered something I've read somewhere: #[hell is just heaven for bad people] #I have no idea who said that #but I’m using it to explain why Moonjo’s crafted reality is utopian #and not dystopian (as most of us would think) #anon (and anyone else) if you've read all this: thank you. your faith in my madness is appreciated #I know it may have seemed like I romanticized things. But that's what Moonjo does #and it's easier to explain his art when you try to think like him #You may also have noticed I did not talk about the bracelet (only the rings) #this thing deserves its own post (I'm still working on it Istg) #but most of my interpretations for it could match this analysis somehow #not all though #things get a little complicated when you put Jongwoo in the equation #he mattered to Moonjo more than he was supposed to #so it's hard to compare him with his other works #Moonjo wouldn't want us to put them on the same level #and I tried to respect that as much as I could #anyway. if anon or anyone else would like to add to this (no matter how) remember you're always welcome.

[bmblboop]

a lot of the things you wanna see in v9 are also things that i wanna see, but here's a few things i also wanna see in vacuo cfvy. just more of them. and hopefully with new designs, them and sssn(n) deserve some new looks after so long. give sun his beach boy shorts already !!! winter and robyn-it'd be so so so interesting seeing them act as almost a microcosm of the tensions between atlas and mantle in their new situation in vacuo and how they're learning to work together to fix things. maybe it's just because i really love schneewood forest and want them to interact more, but i think they could have an extremely interesting dynamic, especially if it grows a bit more personal as robyn - yennow, the person who sees through bullshit - begins to help winter break down her own mask that she wears to hide her own grief over weiss and penny so that she can heal properly. i think they're both strong, determined women with a lot on their shoulders who can do immensely good things together, but first they have to learn to get along - which i don't think is completely outlandish to believe is possible

I’d love to see CFVY with new designs! The switch to Maya (can’t believe we haven’t seen them in that long o_o) means that it’s very likely. I want to see them involved in the plot, totally on board with the fight against Salem!

SSSN(N) too - it would be cool to see some updated looks for Sun’s team - see how they are handling Vacuo’s weather. Also Scarlet and Nolan getting super-canon, on-screen confirmation.

-I really need to read the books-

Robyn and Winter have such an interesting dynamic going into Vacuo because they stand as the only authority figures that Atlas and Mantle have now (as far as the audience is aware).

My modus opperendai with putting two characters on a team together, is to get them to talk about things that they are mutually dealing with outside of the problem at hand. Especially if there is something the other person can help with. Robyn using her semblance to help Winter work through her grief is so great, it’s such a great way to build their relationship!

I also think that Robyn and Winter will be nigh unstoppable when they are working together. Getting to that point will take effort, building that trust and camaraderie with each other.

#ask bmblboop #team cfvy #team sssn #winter schnee #Robyn hill #rwby speculation

[ae0nx]

COWBOY BOPBEATS NETFLIX SERIES RECAP (EP 4 - 6) - spoilers

EP 1-3 RECAP

- It's even more fucked up that they had someone play Faye's fake mother in the scam. But, I appreciate it hitting harder to the audience than some guy who charmed her - like in the anime

- Wow, those human-to-tree transformations were so gross but so freakin cool and I wanted to get a screencap but any screencap I got wouldn't have done it justice

- Faye really got shot in shoulder and is treating it like whatever. I love this Faye, we deserved this Faye! Oh yeah, and also my favourite connection to the opening song so far is:

- This show really isn't afraid to show Spike being occasionally boujee and fully aware that he's pretty and I'm here. for. it.

LOL WHAT DID YOU PUT YOUR HAND IN, FAYE?!? Best fanservice that I've seen in a while 😂Also, this screencap makes a great 'Draw Your Squad'.

- I really love how they took full advantage of physical sets and exploring interesting places to film in New Zealand. They really kept to making the show a liveable, believable and real universe full of real life in a wacky reality. It's been great.

- I also adore how much they kept the chunky and metallic 90s tech and have almost used it as a way of identifying who's upper class and who's lower class. (Upper class/the rich generally having sleeker and cleaner tech and lower class having the chunky, greyer tech)

Awww, this time it's Faye waking up from the almost coma and Spike being at her bedside! <333 (No, I totally don't ship Spike and Faye! 🤥). I really liked their moment and I even liked their mini-slumber party in episode 5! The Bebop crew are so much nicer to each other in this series and I really love it! It really solidifies their found family-isms.

Also, I'm starting to notice the difference in representation of emotional beats in this series compared to the anime. All the emotional beats in this series feel very easy to read and understand because it's all on the surface... there's nothing hidden. And while I appreciate how the anime requires you to do your own investigating about emotional scenes (cos it's more fun that way I guess), there's something a little refreshing about the characters just fully stating their emotional thoughts and intentions for once.

It does feel very slice-of-life Bebop right now, but I have no problem with that as those are my favourite Bebop moments.

- Jet always gets the short-end of the stick... I already feel like he's the character who lost the most by the end of the anime and this doesn't make me feel any better :(

- Faye and Spike really are a disaster couple but I still can't help but <33333 😍

- Ahhh my Queen... Rachel House!! She's great in everything I've seen her in and she kills it as Mao

- I love the decisions that Alex Hassell is making in the way he plays Vicious to stop him from being a complete 'british villain' stereotype. But yeah, Vicious is still batshit. His reactions to the mere mention of Spike are hilarious

- The more I see the Jet episode play out, the more I'm just like... 'you never saw that coming, huh?'. But tbh, it'd make sense if this iteration of Jet would be that willing to trust despite the obvious red flags.

- Chalmers being a nice asshole really got to me. I feel itchy.

- 'Adieu' playing as Julia realises Spike is alive? 🤌🏾😘

- I still don't know if my feelings about Julia have changed from the anime, I still don't really find her too compelling so far?

I LOVE IT. I'M SURE WE ALL LOVE IT. FAYE KEEPS WINNING IN THIS SHOW. AND I'M HERE FOR IT. <3 🏳️‍🌈

- John Cho and Elena Satine really sell the romance between Spike and Julia really well, which honestly was needed. I just want a reason to really care about Julia.

- Jet and the Lesbians sounds like a dope band name.

- You're not gonna rip off that baby's fingers, Jet lmao

EP 7-10 RECAP

#cowboy bebop #cowboy bebop spoilers #cowboy bebop netflix

[ayellowcurtain]

I think it's easy to conclude that an Ava season (Sascha or no Sascha) at the helm of these writers would be an even bigger disappointment than s7. It was the writers bright idea to, instead of organically integrate Lou and Sascha into the already establish world, force the new characters into their positions by minimizing, erasing or rewriting pre existing relationships/plots. The writers are at fault and unless they take note of the feedback, any future season will be hindered by their vision

(4/4) Imagine if Lou wasn't intro'd as a mysterious new girl, instead she was defined by her free spirit, her quick wit that captivated consti (even tho she would challenge consti and isi's bad ways), Isi would be intrigued by her confidence and self expression and everyone else would warm to her bc she is nice and fun to be around. She'd be friendly w both groups. Imagine if Sascha was her bestie too, who had lost contact w Isi and Ava when he went to a diff. school, but thru Lou they're all reunion. Following on from my reimagining of Sascha and Lou's place in Isi's story. I just like the idea of Sascha and Lou being besties bc i think Lou has that bad ass energy Sascha needs in friend, she would stand up for him in aa way that he wouldn't for himself and she would loosen him up a bit while Sascha seems very responsible and dependable. He'd look out for Lou, keep her focused and prevent her going too far. A nice reciprocal friendship. A good think for Isi to observe too. Sorry one last thing. Like if they'd used Lou's character correctly ( aka how i imagine her lol). In some clips she appears in it'd make sense for both groups to be there too. She'd see how interlinked the groups are and just start inviting all of them to hang & she'd set a tone where consti would quickly learn that he can't start shit at her place. This wouldn't take away from Ismail either bc her influence would make sense to the audience and we'd be able to understand Isi a lot better

Oh, yeah, that absolutely works too! Lou was already in the background in previous seasons anyway!

My problem with how Lou was introduced is not about “is it romantic x isn’t it romantic?” But more like “is this supposed to be showing Ismail how someone cool doesn’t need to be a bully x is Lou toxic too?” Because she’s obviously really close to Constantin and she’s making some weird decisions. They’re teenagers, sure but I do think that line was crossed a little too many times on clips to not be understood as risky decisions anyway. That’s why, for me to get fully on board or not, I need to understand who Lou is supposed to be in this equation.

Now about Sascha, as a quiet and chill person myself, I don’t want yet another bad ass x chill bff trope. I’m sick of media using that trope and I would just like for chill, quiet people to be allowed to be quiet and chill with their friends, you know? 😂

And I don’t trust this writers with an Ava season, no, they do have a lot to learn, about their characters AND about pacing/the skam style but I also think Ava deserves a season and to be the final main if that where we’re going to.

[levyfiles]

this may be an unpopular opinion but i'm really not looking forward to the moment when they bring other people onto the channel. i subscribed for them not for some randoms. it's a lovely idea but i also think it'd make their channel look bad 'cause when they start uploading videos that don't involve them the views are probably gonna be really low.

I think what you’re saying is perfectly valid. I know the inclination of us fans is to leap on the possibility of supporting whatever the content creators we like tell us to support but it is also perfectly fair not to be keen on the content made by others just because it’s on the same channel. However despite my saying this, we also don’t quite know how this is meant to look going forward. 

My personal hope is that they’re not about to make the same mistake they made with B.U.N. where they do not appear to have any involvement in the content posted on the channel that is not BFU. We have conspiracy theories that many people found offensive (the antisemitic theories about lizard people and the disrespect to ancient civilizations by implying only aliens could achieve what they had) and a few serial killer stories with voiceovers--and I’ll tell you from experience, that if you recall a channel called Cracked-- and videos like that turn people off. They’re viral clickbait fodder with info you could easily read if you googled it.

Still, though, my hope is that they engage new creators a bit like (and I realise how icky this might be to reference especially in light of recent accusations) Smosh did. They slow integrated new personalities and creators into their line up and videos until we as an audience get to know them and then they get to launch their content and own series and we’re able to engage with the content with the same familiarity as we do the Watcher boys. 

I can absolutely guarantee that you’re not the only one who feels this way because if you look at every video on BUN that doesn’t have Shane or Ryan there is a slew of comments asking where Ryan and Shane are, casual viewers even on their Facebook promo posts asking the same. It’s just not easy to expect an audience that you’ve cultivated and accrued with their personalities to trust their taste or endorsement because they happened to have had the chance to get to know a creator before agreeing to host their content on Watcher.

On another plane of thinking, some of my friends and I were theorizing about whether they intend to haul in a bunch of ex-Buzzfeeders. One person brilliantly suggested Jen. Honestly? I’m into it, and I hope they’re planning to be careful about it overall. 

We all wanna see them succeed but there are numerous challenges trying to be your own Buzzfeed and just having someone pop up with a series like they do with Buzzfeed isn’t always going to work. I would honestly love to chat more about this, so feel free to drop a line or reblog this with your thoughts on it. Would you be cool with other creators hopping aboard the Watcher channel? If not, what do you feel would make it less jarring or alienating as a long time viewer?

#watcher #long post #Anonybae

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: where are you? Janis: put my coat away and everything Jimmy: weren't allowed in Jimmy: face don't fit Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: serious Janis: thought you said you could get in clubs Janis: hang on then, I'll queue up again 😑 Jimmy: it ain't my fault the door bloke's a dickhead Jimmy: fancies his chances better without me in the way Jimmy: might as well go for it now Jimmy: catch you in a bit 👍 Janis: sure, he's got it in for you, boy 😏 Janis: whatever Jimmy: he wants to put it in you Jimmy: understandable when he's going off how well you scrub up Jimmy: keep it off the snap & it is whatever, girl Janis: gross Janis: he's easily 42 Jimmy: don't knock it til you've tried it Jimmy: we ain't in the north so that ain't death's door Jimmy: & you ain't got me there to buy your drinks now, play it smart, rich girl Jimmy: that's how you stay rich, yeah Janis: well I actually got in so I can check out the talent beyond the door 👍 Janis: but tah for the tips Janis: what are you gonna do then Jimmy: big town full of Leprechauns Jimmy: maybe I'll find the pot of gold, gay clubs are the rainbow I assume Jimmy: start there Jimmy: find my own 👴💕 Janis: 🍀 Janis: funny now but when I end up dead in the river you'll be suspect no.1 Jimmy: like anyone's gonna believe I could take you out Jimmy: too 💪 you Jimmy: worry more about everyone chatting that you turned me 🌈 honestly Janis: ha Janis: like you said, keep it off the snap Janis: anyone sees you in there they'll have to out themselves first so Jimmy: 👌 Janis: laters bae Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [finds him, the kiss, walking away] Jimmy: [follows her out leaving this girl like ??!! as she also follows for the awks] Jimmy: [says 'keeping it short & sweet all across town tonight then?' because now is not the time for bants so obvs he's banting] Janis: [is just looking at the girl like bitch what are you doing and ain't gonna talk to him whilst she's there] Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 for an excuse to be still standing there when he's being blanked, sharing with the random girl just to make it worse, introduces Janis to her by one of her fake names cos actual dickhead] Janis: [completely blanks the girl like it would be obvious you were not welcome; 'how do you know no one saw you?'] Jimmy: [the girl be like UM I'm going back in, are you coming boy & he shrugs like in a bit cos still smoking obvs to prolong this & let's her go before he answers cos not trying to explain fake dating to this random] Jimmy: ['you've been in, it's well dead 'cause of being well shit'] Janis: ['so you don't then, in other words. great.'] Jimmy: ['nobody saw me. Calm down.'] Janis: ['fuck off. if you can't do this properly then why suggest it?'] Jimmy: ['I am doing it properly, I told you, it's alright'] Janis: ['for you maybe but that ain't the only part of the deal so sort it out. fucking amatuer'] Jimmy: ['piss off am I. It is sorted. She ain't from around here & nobody who matters saw us.' Janis: [shakes head 'yeah, you are. fuck sake, how old are you, 12?'] Jimmy: [is clearly fuming but trying to act not bothered. 'You'll be the one who fucks this if you don't trust what I'm telling you, girl'] Janis: ['nah, get why they didn't let you in now; what is this, under 18s night? check how old she was, did you?'] Jimmy: [just gives her a fuck you kind of look but that's a mistake cos she's really hot so has to look away] Jimmy: you got in, what did you follow me to this shithole for? Janis: [is laughing at him but it's obvs fake, then shrugs like, why not?] Jimmy: nah go on, you're such a #pro Jimmy: reasons for everything you do, all part of the plan all the time with you Jimmy: so what Janis: well no shit Janis: I didn't want to come out but it's on socials now so we need at least one decent picture together so they know it's #real Jimmy: come on then Jimmy: [poses in a really fake piss taking way] Janis: are you this shit or what Janis: I said, do it properly or I ain't bothering Jimmy: [does that sexy blowing smoke thing at her so it's basically a kiss like that gif I have of Nico doing it in MMFD & snaps a pic of it] Janis: [nods like that'll work 'cos what's she gonna say] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [then actually kisses her & again taking pics being all like don't say I don't do shit properly but like we both know he just wants to & its a moment] Janis: [pushes him back 'cos can't deal] Janis: that'll do Janis: keep it softcore, no one needs that much convincing Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: you're seriously going back in there Jimmy: [does the why not shrug she gave him earlier like its so obvious that you want her to tell you not to, boy please] Janis: [scoffs and shrugs back] Janis: have fun Jimmy: try not to fall or get pushed in the river, Joanne Jimmy: it'd be a crying shame that Janis: no one's pushing me away Janis: trust Jimmy: not in that outfit Jimmy: or out of it Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: you've done your snap bragging now, shut up Janis: can't make me Jimmy: 💪🏆 you Jimmy: get that too Janis: good Janis: don't get it twisted Jimmy: 👑 of the #flex Jimmy: nowt twisted here Janis: flexing makes it sound like it ain't true Jimmy: [sends her the pics so she can post them cos ultimate shade for rn that he won't] Jimmy: none of this is Jimmy: what did you say, don't get it twisted, Janet Jimmy: have fun with your #s Jimmy: [goes back inside] Janis: piss off Janis: I can get into places that ain't this dump, remember? Jimmy: you ain't let me forget Jimmy: enjoy being a hot girl then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🤞 you can find one yourself Jimmy: tah Janis: so welcome Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: lovely you Jimmy: [leaves again because it actually is shit in there & obvs not feeling it] Janis: don't take it personal Jimmy: weren't & won't Janis: how unlike you Jimmy: you reckon you know what I'm like Janis: I reckon you love thinking you're special Jimmy: if I loved that we wouldn't be doing this Jimmy: I'd just let 'em all fawn over me like its their job while I do mine Janis: better in theory and bullshit than in practice Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: say the same for this fake girlfriend bollocks Janis: 💔 for you Janis: naturally Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: I'll live Janis: shame Jimmy: 💔 for you then Janis: yeah, should be Janis: inconsiderate Jimmy: reckon you've got that covered, my dear Jimmy: but I'll do my best Janis: excuse me? Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: & I bet you understood, smart girl Janis: are you drunk? Jimmy: you calling me a lightweight Jimmy: I weren't in there that long Janis: long enough Janis: 👍 Jimmy: for you maybe Janis: soz you didn't get stinky fingers? Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: yeah you looked proper sorry about it Janis: was I meant to be? Jimmy: don't bother saying it now then Janis: 🙄 Janis: did you a favour anyway Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: please Janis: even you could do better Janis: not doing this so you can throw all my good work away already Jimmy: than a girl who's not from around here, ain't gonna say shit & I don't need to see again Jimmy: not really Jimmy: but go on Janis: whatever, if that's your type Janis: then you may as well make your choice of the basics now and be done with it Jimmy: I don't have a type Jimmy: she did the job for tonight Jimmy: or would've until you turned up Jimmy: if you've got someone better in mind, I'm heading home, send 'em over Janis: lovely you Jimmy: I know Jimmy: tah though Janis: no, thank you for proving my point Jimmy: so welcome Janis: gone, was she Jimmy: or 💀 from the 🔪🔪🔪s you were throwing Jimmy: could've easily bled out while you were having your strop Janis: just playing the part Janis: like you were meant to Janis: or you want your fake gf to be that cool girl Janis: 🙄 figures Jimmy: I only clock in when there's actually an audience, babe Jimmy: like you're meant to Jimmy: & as I told you, there weren't Janis: sure Janis: you did a whole sweep of the club to doublecheck Janis: idiot Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it ain't big or packed Jimmy: & anyway if you were playing a role you'd have kicked off in front of the everyone you're so sure was about Jimmy: not outside to me Janis: not my style Janis: but you did your part by following me out like a puppy so we're fine Jimmy: 'cause I ain't no amateur Jimmy: weren't gonna let you fuck it up by fucking off without a word Jimmy: thought you paddy's loved a bar fight Jimmy: actually 💔💔 Janis: and I know boys love bitch fights, don't mean you're gonna get one from me Jimmy: gutted me Jimmy: of all the fake girlfriends I could've had Jimmy: lumbered with a dud like Julie over here Janis: find another one then Janis: save me the hassle Jimmy: bit late for that Jimmy: deal's done Jimmy: posts are posted Janis: people break up Janis: ain't even that deep Jimmy: 1 day in? Jimmy: that's the rep you want Jimmy: alright then Janis: why ain't it your rep Jimmy: I'm the lad I'm always gonna come off better Jimmy: either I dumped you this fast 'cause you wouldn't fuck me or 'cause you did Jimmy: It don't matter to me Jimmy: & It don't look bad for me whichever way Janis: that's bullshit Janis: when's the soonest I can get out of this then Jimmy: yeah but it's the way it'll look Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: not had to stage a fake break up before Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: fuck off with that Janis: all you've done this whole time is whine you didn't get laid Janis: like I stopped you Jimmy: I ain't said shit about it even though you did stop me Jimmy: you're the one with so much chat on the subject Janis: bullshit, you're moaning on and on like I'm gonna feel sorry for you Janis: you could've gone back in, she clearly didn't care you've got a fake girlfriend Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: & you clearly scared her off Jimmy: she didn't know about you, I don't lead with that chat up line Janis: yeah she's that fucking stupid Janis: just 'cos you're oblivious don't reckon everyone else is Jimmy: oblivious to what Jimmy: you weren't there & I didn't give her anything real Jimmy: she can't stalk my socials to check my fake relationship status without my name Janis: when I showed up Janis: to me, playing my part Janis: if you reckon she didn't clock that then you're literally braindead Jimmy: like I said, you scared her off Jimmy: & stopped me Jimmy: why am I repeating myself, are you the drunk one now Janis: bullshit Janis: don't use me as an excuse for whyever you pussied out Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I went back in, I don't need excuses it's literally what happened Jimmy: you fucked it up for me Jimmy: I'm good but nobody's that good Janis: 👌 Janis: whatever makes you feel better about your fuck up Jimmy: whatever makes you feel better about putting on a show for nobody but me & her Janis: you wish Jimmy: if this is your coming out, sure you could track her down & crack on, you did me easy enough Janis: hilarious Janis: even if I was gay, I'd have standards Jimmy: I've got standards but I've also got a nightmare of a fake girlfriend so Jimmy: well paranoid about getting rumbled she is Janis: 1. clearly not Janis: 2. well yeah, 'cos I ain't doing this for my fucking health Janis: like you said, you're gonna fuck up my rep when you've promised the opposite Jimmy: 1. I've already told you, needs must Jimmy: 2. fuck knows why you're doing it when you're so up yourself & convinced you can get anyone else you want Jimmy: like I said & yeah, promised, a deal's a deal Jimmy: I ain't gonna do nowt of the sort Jimmy: just calm down Janis: yeah, this is 100% about getting boys to wanna ride me Janis: boys are easy, no one needs to try to impress yous Janis: and don't tell me to calm down, seriously Janis: 'less you wanna see the opposite Jimmy: I don't give a shit what it's about for you Jimmy: you agreed to do this that's all that matters to me Jimmy: but I knew that's how you 🍀 welcomed the tourists Jimmy: better late than never Janis: stop chatting like you know then, twat Jimmy: only a rule for you that? Jimmy: you've been chatting like you know me this whole night Jimmy: leave it out or show up to my door for the brawl you want & tick off another nightmare girlfriend cliche before tomorrow Janis: you reckon you can propose it and come off all mysterious Janis: nah 😂 Janis: don't worry, sure everyone else is still wondering, new boy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: we're probably good now for a few days anyway yeah Janis: so enjoy Jimmy: will do Jimmy: have a good one Jimmy: 💕 Janis: say you too but you're going home? Jimmy: like I said, I'll live Jimmy: got work tomorrow anyway Janis: best to face them not-hungover I guess Jimmy: we can say that's the reason Janis: oh my GOD Janis: give it up Jimmy: already have Jimmy: that's why I'm on my way home Janis: I mean, sadsack, I ain't apologizing Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: so much effort, you Jimmy: you too, babe Jimmy: must be #fated Janis: eurgh Janis: shut up 😂 Jimmy: alright Jimmy: night then Janis: now he listens Jimmy: not on the 🕒 girl, soz Jimmy: soon enough Janis: you hear me asking for a latte Jimmy: I mean your fake boyfriend one Jimmy: & you'd never ask for a latte, piss off Jimmy: I don't have to know you to know that Janis: MY 🕒? Janis: YOUR fake girlfriend one, own it at least Janis: alright, you can 'know' that much Janis: 'cos I'd have to throw it in your face before I drank it so Jimmy: iced it is then Jimmy: burn scars ain't the sexy sort Janis: rude but true Janis: not giving them the satisfaction of a wet t-shirt moment 🤢 Jimmy: shame Janis: like romcoms too do you Janis: seriously, give in to your pride and date fucking Janis: samantha, whatever her name is Jimmy: I watched some before I suggested this 'cause I take this shit seriously, alright, shut up Janis: 😂 Janis: that bodes well Janis: did you not make the end of any, boy Jimmy: fuck that Jimmy: I was skimming Jimmy: you ain't paying me nowt for this Janis: well I've been forced through enough to know that it never works because the people are idiots Janis: so try not to be one, eh Janis: just this once Jimmy: same to you, girl Jimmy: I get it, I'm really 💪😎 & the accent's 🔥 but don't get carried away, yeah Janis: 🙄 Janis: we're safe Janis: don't worry Jimmy: not if you keep dressing like that Jimmy: sort it out, Jasmine Jimmy: uglier the better 👌 Janis: dickhead Janis: what you want an ugly fake gf for Jimmy: be more #goals Jimmy: #Iloveheranyway Jimmy: #itaintjustskindeepladies Janis: 😒 Janis: well thanks for the insult but too bad 'cos I ain't ever Jimmy: It was literally the opposite of an insult, dickhead Jimmy: I'm saying I'm still a lad alright Jimmy: & when you look like that it's just Janis: it obviously ain't if until now you reckoned I was #ugenough to get the job done so 🖕 Janis: don't take the piss Jimmy: that ain't what I reckoned or what I said Janis: mhmm Janis: ⛏ Jimmy: you're such a knob Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend can't take a compliment Janis: what kind of fake boyfriend can't give one Janis: that's the real question, babe Jimmy: I literally just told you how hot you looked, babe Jimmy: try & stay with me here Janis: go on then Janis: what's the punchline Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: the joke is that I'm back home this early Jimmy: my dad's still up Jimmy: & he ain't the type to wait Janis: that's tragic Janis: poor baby Janis: could be worse, he could still be out Janis: then you'd be a real loser Jimmy: I see that & raise you he's got his girlfriend here Jimmy: might genuinely throw up in the kitchen sink Janis: oh dear Janis: least he might think you're at least drunk, sadsack Jimmy: might get drunk now to deal Jimmy: one sec Janis: honestly Janis: shoulda stayed at the nappy night Janis: weren't that bad Jimmy: if I'd known I was coming home to Michael Bublé & two sets of red wine teeth Jimmy: if you still want that fight come & 💀💀 me Janis: You'll get no mercy from me Janis: even if that's the worst thing I've ever heard Jimmy: come on Jimmy: if that's not truce worthy nowt is Jimmy: end my life & be a hot widow what could be more #goals Janis: 😂 Janis: there's no way I like you that much after a day, even faking it Janis: and no chance we've cashed in any sort of life insurance so Jimmy: actually if I 💀 myself you'll get A's in your exams Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: just leaving you a 💕 note Janis: that's definitely a myth Janis: whole school of scabs turning up at cambo like eyy someone topped themselves so now I'm a professor of theology Janis: I think not Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: & you could've said before I blew my brains out all over my dad & the love of his week but Janis: 🤷 Janis: maybe if you hadn't left it 'til the 💕💀 note to be nice to me Jimmy: when that girl finds out she's gonna think it's because she's a shit kisser Jimmy: that's awkward Jimmy: might have to go haunt her for a bit Jimmy: make sure she knows Jimmy: play some Bublé tunes Janis: again Janis: saving it for the afterlife to be considerate Janis: dickhead Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: tell 'em none of his songs at my funeral & I won't haunt you too hard Janis: come on, sure he's murdered my way Janis: just your speed Janis: basic white boy Jimmy: It ain't my fault my parents are both too northern to branch out Janis: save it for when your Swayze'ing that bitch Janis: sure she thinks you're dead exotic Jimmy: 👍 idea Jimmy: tah babe Janis: whatever Janis: we've established you've only got 👎 ones so Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: this fake dating one is working out top Jimmy: deny it Jimmy: I saw how everyone reacted to the posts I gave you Janis: you can take a picture Jimmy: & pose for one Jimmy: this basic white boy is working for you Janis: my ancestors will be thrilled Janis: #reparationsbitch Jimmy: mine too, I bet Janis: I mean, anything beats dying down a mine, I suppose Janis: probs racists though, even if the blackface weren't intentional Jimmy: I'd take it over my present right now Jimmy: pretty sure my dad's a racist still, even if he also likes Seal Janis: lovely Janis: remind me to not come over for tea Jimmy: invite's in the post, my love Janis: 👍 Janis: give us all the chance to 'lose' it Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: but I'm giving you the chance to lose it when you come over too so Jimmy: love a fight you Jimmy: & my dad's got a very smackable face Jimmy: & personality Janis: begin to sound more and more like you've got a fetish Jimmy: shit's kicking off right now & I haven't asked you to tag team Jimmy: got me all wrong Janis: bummer Janis: he pick a minger too? Janis: should've left her at the club like you did Jimmy: he'd have to leave her in the office & that don't work for long Jimmy: perils of 😍 over the water cooler Janis: eurgh Janis: is your whole fam just one big cliche or Jimmy: piss off Janis: just saying Janis: that's two no-nos ticked off Jimmy: well don't say it Jimmy: I'm living it, that's enough Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Jimmy: don't fuck anyone I wouldn't Jimmy: saves us comparing notes Janis: the basic white girls and you are safe Janis: I'll never find out how disappointing you are 💕 Jimmy: You've misunderstood this entire thing, you're my fake girlfriend 'cause I don't wanna fuck basic white girls Jimmy: but 👌 Janis: I thought so too but you must be the confused one Janis: strobe lights were not going that hard Jimmy: she weren't top of my list Jimmy: I told you, needs must Janis: keep protesting, it's so convincing Janis: least it's just me who caught you out 😂 could've been worse Jimmy: alright shut up Jimmy: you've never had a shit night, have you Janis: obviously not Janis: have you seen me Jimmy: you ain't getting no more compliments I'm still holding onto the last one since you wouldn't take it Janis: 1. it was not a compliment Janis: 2. not like I need it Jimmy: 1. yeah it was Jimmy: 2. nah you just want it Janis: 1. no Janis: 2. and no Jimmy: Obviously you're fit that's why I asked you so leave it out Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: p sure you told me to leave it 'cos you were losing but Jimmy: need more chatting up than a real girlfriend you Janis: that's just a tragic insight into your dating history I didn't need, really Jimmy: you wish, baby Janis: ew cease and desist Janis: we definitely no'd that one Jimmy: 😂 Janis: so annoying Jimmy: I told you, #fated Janis: you call it #fated, I call it #doomed Jimmy: it's all still bollocks Jimmy: no # needed Jimmy: 💕 Janis: so poetic Jimmy: wait til you read the 💀 note Janis: I look forward to it Janis: how long 'fore I can move on with the actual hot barista though Jimmy: a day for a day Jimmy: only fair Jimmy: I get it, you couldn't score him first time round so get him with the sympathy Jimmy: well played Janis: you gave me no time Janis: not like it's my usual haunt Jimmy: it's still your home town Jimmy: get a better excuse Janis: I don't make it my business to know everyone else's Jimmy: if he's that hot no need for him to be just a rebound off my demise Jimmy: sort yourself out, girl Janis: sort yourself out for doubting his hotness Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: I'm doubting your ability to close that deal Janis: fuck you Janis: never had an off day, remember Jimmy: only got your word for that Jimmy: & what's that worth with how much shit you chat Janis: whatever Janis: you already said you think I'm hot Janis: can't change your mind now Jimmy: you are Jimmy: don't mean that basic white lad wants you Janis: why wouldn't he Jimmy: I'll let you know when I've chatted to him on shift tomorrow Jimmy: maybe he likes his missus' more humble for a start Janis: no you won't Janis: and humble is just code for no self-esteem which you only want to cover up your own failings Jimmy: yeah I will Jimmy: & yeah maybe he's into that Jimmy: loads of lads are Janis: um he's #special and #different Janis: so don't ruin it for me with your chatter Jimmy: you're blinded by your 😍 Jimmy: & you ruined tonight for me so why shouldn't I Jimmy: makes us even Janis: no it don't Janis: she weren't no barista boy, get real Jimmy: don't matter to me Jimmy: nowt in the rules about keeping things fair Jimmy: we didn't even come up with any so Janis: even=fair so you don't get to get even by that logic, fool Janis: and pretty self-explanatory, just real relationship rules but make them fake Jimmy: even as I call it, fair as I call it Janis: fuck that Janis: you don't get to call everything Jimmy: watch me Janis: nah, you need me Janis: remember Janis: that's why it's a deal Jimmy: maybe I don't need you as much as I reckoned Jimmy: the basic white girl tonight weren't that bad Janis: like I said, call it off then Janis: in what world do I need to do what you tell me Jimmy: in the same world where you think I would do anything you tell me Jimmy: so the one we're in Janis: I ain't told you to do shit Jimmy: you are now Jimmy: call it off yourself, don't try & make me do it for you Janis: I'm saying don't act like you've got something over me Janis: at least something that I don't also have over you Janis: it ain't that deep, God Jimmy: deep enough for you to keep saying it ain't Jimmy: so convincing, babe Janis: 😑 Janis: you're the most annoying person I've had the misfortune of meeting Jimmy: nah 🥇 you Janis: well I love myself Janis: so obviously not Jimmy: let's ask about Jimmy: I reckon you'll win easy Janis: only if we were asking only the girls Janis: and you're new, you're basically anything they want you to be 'til your personality ruins it Jimmy: you're so popular with the lads, alright I heard you the first 100 times you said it Jimmy: get one of them to fake date you Janis: nah, this is the first sincere offer of fake dating I've ever Janis: so you can still feel special Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: I can go to bed feeling like this is better than anything I could dream Jimmy: tah so much Janis: welcome Janis: do what I can Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: so far it's piss me off but let's see what tomorrow brings Janis: ain't on the ⏲ Janis: you didn't do all the convincing yourself though Jimmy: you ain't the one who needs to be convinced of owt Jimmy: thank fuck Jimmy: easy targets Janis: ain't saying I am Janis: saying give me the credit I'm owed and you'll get yours Jimmy: bollocks Janis: ? Jimmy: you were ready to slag me off earlier & loving it when you could give me credit for getting off with someone who ain't gonna ruin this Janis: it ain't the who it's the where, twat Janis: it ain't your hometown, you ain't got a clue who was or wasn't there, lbr Janis: give a fuck if you took her home but you can't be doing it in public 'til this is done Janis: simple as Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: trust me Janis: why? Janis: I don't know you, you don't know me Jimmy: we're in this together or we're fucking not Jimmy: if I weren't as bothered as you I wouldn't be wasting my time Janis: fine Janis: don't be stupid about it then Jimmy: I weren't & I won't Janis: then there's no problem here Jimmy: 👍 Janis: night then Jimmy: 💕 Janis: remember to ❤ the pics Jimmy: already did Jimmy: try & keep up with me, girl Janis: 👌 Janis: keen as always, boy Jimmy: serious Jimmy: remember that next time Janis: yeah, I was the one taking it not serious Janis: 👍 Jimmy: just do better tomorrow Janis: are you actually taking the piss Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: one for the road, like Janis: mm Janis: as I said Janis: most annoying Jimmy: as I said, SUCH a good match Janis: just convince them and we're both free Jimmy: already did that too Jimmy: so say the word Jimmy: any time or place Janis: and you already said if we leave it at a fuck, I look bad so Janis: sorry, not yet Jimmy: I'm just saying Jimmy: whenever Janis: alright, I know Janis: not like it's a legally binding contract Jimmy: so I shouldn't have opened a vein to sign something in my blood Jimmy: now she tells me Jimmy: always too late you Janis: 😏 Janis: earlier it was brains, now it's veins Janis: should I call the samaritans Janis: starting to sound like a cry for help, idk 🤔 Jimmy: you heard me say what's happening in my house tonight Jimmy: it is & you should Janis: 😂 Jimmy: glad you find MB on a loop such a laugh Janis: as long as it's drowning out worse Janis: be thankful Jimmy: do you actually want me to 💀💀💀 Janis: awh babe, no Janis: I don't care whether you live or die either way Jimmy: 💕 Janis: that's the type of service you get for free, kid Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [ze next morning] Janis: I've got to come in later Jimmy: really need to throw that latte on me? Janis: ha, obviously Janis: tell me when my sister and that get there, yeah Janis: remember what they look like Jimmy: it was only a handful of kisses, you gotta get over your jealousy about last night, Jill Jimmy: & yeah Jimmy: my best customers that's the type of service you get here at the CG Janis: strangely enough, not about you or my fake jealousy Janis: just lay off the charm offensive for five when I get there, that's all I need you to do Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Janis: see you then Jimmy: in a bit Janis: it'll be easy, no drama Jimmy: no fake break up then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: sorry to disappoint Jimmy: yeah I'm well 💔💔💔 Janis: make it up to you Janis: you'll get tons more #lad points Jimmy: clearly my top priority tah Jimmy: what's going on? Janis: I know you're just as 😍 for him Janis: nah, nothing, my sister's just being more of a bitch than usual Jimmy: you can't know I've been so careful with my 💘 & 😍 around him so there Jimmy: & what you wanna shut her up Janis: oh babes 🙊 Janis: yep Janis: need to, actually, but that's the gist Jimmy: don't she believe we're madly in love? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: appaz, you have no control over your 😍 at all 'cos she #knows you're into her so Janis: 👌 tah Jimmy: 1. she can piss off 'cause I've never Jimmy: 2. I know exactly what to do Janis: yeah, she's full of shit Janis: well so do I but open to ideas Jimmy: you get to do what you want, she's your sister & they weren't my 😍 Janis: 👍 stick to the plan then Janis: she's an idiot, you have to be blatant or she won't get it Jimmy: you gonna tell me the plan or nah Jimmy: & I get paid not to be blatant, gutted as I am about it Janis: you won't get in trouble Janis: not gonna go that hard Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: like you're as dumb as her? Janis: just gotta come be really #goals in their faces Janis: 5 minutes, tops Janis: easy Jimmy: double it if you wanna be #convincing Jimmy: never given a girl so little time in my life Janis: #swoon 😏 Janis: like I said, not gonna go that hard 'cos it has to be in front of them Janis: that's the whole point Janis: just look like you're having fun, yeah? Jimmy: you have to go hard in front of them, that's the whole point Jimmy: not as dumb as her tah Janis: 10 minutes is a bit much for making out Janis: could get it done in that time Jimmy: who have you been making out with? Jimmy: actually gutted for you Jimmy: can't even add the piss taking emojis right now Janis: shut up Janis: I'm not gonna suck face with you for 10 minutes Jimmy: if you can't hack it, call it off now Janis: 😑 Janis: just tell me when they're there Jimmy: said I would Janis: saving the enthusiasm, I get it Jimmy: that & drying my eyes over your real dating history Janis: what are you chatting now Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: just making ☕ Jimmy: you're the one giving away your shit kissing secrets Janis: piss off Janis: there's nothing wrong with my kissing Janis: it's just the boring bit, everyone knows that Janis: may as well skip it Jimmy: if you're doing it wrong, yeah Janis: you aren't an expert Janis: people like different shit, alright Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: you ain't meant to be coming in swinging Janis: stop being a dick then Janis: it's off-putting Jimmy: if you're that easy to put off this fake relationship is properly doomed Janis: I told you Jimmy: get it together or don't come Janis: I'm fine Janis: you're the one chatting shit Janis: you've got one job Jimmy: two Jimmy: get it right, rich girl Janis: yeah, so drop the relationship therapist bit Janis: no one's buying Jimmy: I get it, you're rich 'cause you're tight with every penny Janis: You're just full of shit, and I get that for free Janis: 🍀 me Jimmy: you wish I were Jimmy: but we ain't making 'em come true until the girls get here so Janis: why would I want that Jimmy: my therapist bit's been dropped Jimmy: at your request Janis: we'll talk about this comedian bit later Janis: I've got things to do Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: me too Janis: things that require more than one braincell but Janis: happy for you Jimmy: soz I'm not performing brain surgery right now Jimmy: well patronizing you Janis: whatever Janis: unlikely to catch my sister or obs so suits my purpose Janis: on* Jimmy: happy for you Janis: suits yours too Janis: or were you looking for someone to be really into you slobbering all over them Janis: shoulda been clearer Jimmy: there's nowt about kissing you for exactly 5 minutes mid shift at my job which suits me Jimmy: but go on Janis: I said 5, tops Janis: get it done in less if you're gonna be so moody Janis: yes or no, can I come in or what Jimmy: do what you want it's your masterplan Janis: well not if you're actually gonna get in trouble Jimmy: like you give a shit about my job security Jimmy: plenty of places to make a latte in this town Janis: I ain't that much of a bitch Jimmy: who knows maybe you'll do me a favor & force me into a job that requires two braincells next Janis: shut up Janis: it was a joke Janis: and you started it Jimmy: really funny you Janis: backatcha Jimmy: 💕 Janis: forget about it Jimmy: alright Janis: nothing lost, yeah Jimmy: nowt gained either but Jimmy: whatever Janis: well despite what you reckon, my secondary goal wasn't to get you sacked so Janis: sorta outweighs the need to get back at them Jimmy: you couldn't get me sacked if you tried Jimmy: you've got one foot out the door before you're even in Janis: you want me hanging about all day Jimmy: not what I said or meant Jimmy: I've had more of a connection with a customer whose order got fucked up than what you're planning to give me Jimmy: who the fuck is that meant to convince Jimmy: but I'm the one not doing this properly Janis: maybe we should fake hang out some more after this Janis: alright Janis: but all you've gotta convince 'em rn is that you wanna fuck me Janis: that's all they care about Jimmy: then I'll let you know when they show up Jimmy: like I said Janis: yeah? Janis: alright Janis: thanks Jimmy: nowt to thank me for Jimmy: blue balls is easy to fake when my dad's getting fucked more often than me Janis: 🎻 then Jimmy: 💔 but I got all those MB jams from last night in my head to mend it Janis: come through for you after-all Jimmy: he'll come to me forever now with those words of wisdom Jimmy: I'll never be free Jimmy: mind numbing job combined with mind numbing family life Jimmy: so few braincells Janis: what was it you said at the start of this convo Janis: need to let it go Jimmy: I can say what I like Jimmy: who are you Jimmy: let go of your fake being bothered Janis: fine Janis: have fun chatting shit to your customers then Jimmy: I survive on tips so I very much will Janis: don't know if sob story is the way you wanna go but Janis: you do you Jimmy: if you're sobbing, you do you Jimmy: probably get out of the mansion a bit more though Jimmy: it's fairly common out here Janis: boohoo? Janis: lemme dry my tears on a 50 Janis: what do you expect me to say Jimmy: don't say nowt Jimmy: shut up Janis: erm, say what I like Janis: who are you Jimmy: the one you're chatting shit to Jimmy: fuck knows why Janis: fucking hell Janis: what is wrong with you this morning Jimmy: the same thing that's wrong with me every morning Jimmy: but since you don't know me Jimmy: 1. it's news to you and 2. we don't need to go into it Janis: 👍 Janis: later Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [skip to lunch time when they'd show up & so would loads of other people lol] Jimmy: head's up, Juliet, your time to shine Janis: right Janis: okay, be there in 10 Jimmy: take as long as you need Jimmy: they ain't even ordered yet Jimmy: it'll look weird if you come through the door too soon after them Jimmy: like we planned it Janis: ha Janis: true enough Janis: they can kill a fair while, I imagine Janis: clean up properly then Jimmy: they can when they're too busy talking about us to pick up a menu Janis: ugh Janis: fun Jimmy: I'd forgotten Mia was still capable of speech Jimmy: I thought all the throwing up had destroyed her throat entirely Jimmy: she usually just communicates via 💀 stares Jimmy: I see why you two get on so well Janis: if you keep making me tell you I'm special and universally loved, you can't get mad at me for it, like Janis: and it's you that she's made the impression on Janis: that's Janis: nice Jimmy: getting mad at you for not taking a real compliment from your fake boyfriend ain't the same as not patting you on the back for being a dickhead Jimmy: yeah obviously hurry up or I'll run away with her Jimmy: won't be able to help myself & you've been warned Janis: highly doubt she can run Janis: bit cold to give her heart failure but I'm not crying here so Jimmy: I'll carry her then, more #goals anyway Janis: how Janis: she weighs sod all Jimmy: still get the rom com visual Jimmy: all that matters Janis: nah Janis: try and shift the big one Janis: that'd be something Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: easy 💪🏆 Janis: can't just promise her free pastries Janis: that's cheating Jimmy: you can't just start imposing rules now Jimmy: too little too late Jimmy: & shamelessly cheating Janis: 🙄 she'd go with anyone for a cream cake Janis: even the least hot one Jimmy: like I said, easy Janis: ugh okay Janis: guess it counts as a win Janis: not happy about it though Jimmy: I'm not happy about doing my back in for her but Janis: needs must? Jimmy: you know Jimmy: how cute that we're finishing each other's sentences though 😍😍 Janis: 😂 Janis: if you could find a subtle way to let 'em know how goals we're being Jimmy: I've been 😍 at my phone since they came in, don't worry Jimmy: not an amateur Janis: good thing I stopped chatting or it'd be more like 😒 Janis: kinda cute but not really painting me in the best light Jimmy: like you said, only got one job Jimmy: I'll paint you in the best light you've ever Janis: 👍 Janis: you want me to leave it in the tip jar or bit too obvious Jimmy: where'd your sense of humor spring from? Jimmy: MIA a bit ago Janis: that was you Janis: cheek! Jimmy: can't be a comedian which you called me & a moody cunt which you may as well have Jimmy: make your mind up, Jenna Janis: if you can't do what I want and don't do what I don't, without any helpful direction, what kind of boyfriend are you Janis: tbh Jimmy: the fake kind Jimmy: & I'll fake owt you need me to Jimmy: starting as soon as Janis: 😍 Janis: you know the drill, yeah? Janis: swear I'll piss off long before they've even asked for extra sprinkles, probably Jimmy: not my first girlfriend or barista job Jimmy: but that is an offer I can't refuse Janis: spare us both the debrief then 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: actually do hurry up though they're doing my head in Janis: you know they ain't gonna leave with me, yeah Janis: stunned into silence is a big ask, can try but Jimmy: I don't have to try Jimmy: it'll happen Jimmy: & I'll take it Janis: let the 💋 do the talking Jimmy: it will do Jimmy: louder than the bollocks they're chatting Jimmy: I told you, I know what I'm doing Janis: they do that, a lot Janis: should know better than me now Janis: I can try and avoid them out of school Jimmy: best customers remember, I do know Jimmy: & we're doing this 'cause I can't avoid them here Janis: exactly Janis: not forgot Janis: nor am I as dumb as them, tah Jimmy: skip the 'on the previous episode of the CG' bit then Jimmy: nowt you can tell me about any of 'em Jimmy: & even less I'd wanna know Janis: I ain't telling you anything Janis: it's all bullshit anyway Janis: whatever they're saying, that's a guarantee Jimmy: way ahead of you on that, sweetheart Janis: hope that's not the patronizing tone you settled on for your punters Janis: 😬 Jimmy: so you are worried about my job security Jimmy: well romantic 💕 Janis: I told you I weren't that bitch Janis: am leaving though Janis: be there in a few Jimmy: good Janis: what happened to take the time you need, boy Janis: only took a shower Janis: be grateful Jimmy: I said they're doing my head in Jimmy: & you already called me moody so Jimmy: tah for the romantic gesture of showering though Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: so you gotta take every opportunity to be as sulky as? Janis: come on, I'll call you lots of better things if that's how it works Jimmy: do you want me to react to you kissing me like 😒 Jimmy: if the answer is yeah, take your time Janis: I thought you had this Janis: was your last gf a glutton for punishment or something 'cos no Jimmy: she weren't fake Jimmy: didn't have to pretend to be into it Jimmy: puts you at 👎 before you've kicked things off Janis: you said it weren't hard Janis: so which is it Jimmy: when did I ever say kissing you wasn't the bane of my life Jimmy: must've been drunk Jimmy: if I did Janis: grow up Janis: kiss's a kiss Janis: unless there's some unsexy scalding issue or similar Jimmy: not part of the deal, baby Jimmy: & no it ain't Jimmy: there's a whole scale of good & shit if you want me to rate you in a bit Janis: oh yeah! Janis: what girl doesn't want that Jimmy: if a kiss is a kiss what do you care Jimmy: don't matter, does it Janis: we don't trust each other, remember Janis: you'll just say I'm shit to be that dickhead Janis: and I know I ain't so who needs to hear more of your nonsense Jimmy: you don't trust me, I never said nowt about you Jimmy: I ain't that dickhead & I don't lie Jimmy: you're just shitting yourself about what the truth is Jimmy: that ain't my fault or problem Janis: sure Janis: your opinion ain't fact Jimmy: never said it were Jimmy: or that I give a fuck if you want it or don't Jimmy: I'm not 💔 that you don't like me Janis: you just called it the truth Janis: and you 100% said you don't trust me last night too so shut up, casual gaslighting here Janis: I wouldn't be Janis: don't like anyone, nothing to get upset about, ain't that deep, ain't that personal Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: how many times are you gonna try & tell me it ain't that deep like you don't have shit to lose if this fucks up Jimmy: you shut up, girl Jimmy: focus Janis: oh no, they'll bitch about me in cafes harder Janis: whatever will I do Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: end it then Jimmy: stop wasting my time Janis: as far as foreplay goes Janis: this is topnotch Janis: truly Jimmy: if I cared about you being turned on, we'd have bigger problems Jimmy: be in or get out Janis: don't worry, makes you the same as the rest of the lads Janis: I'm literally walking Jimmy: that ain't what I mean Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: it matters to you or it don't so which is it Janis: come on Janis: ain't doing this for my health Janis: or a laugh, thankfully Jimmy: stop taking the piss then Jimmy: save your 🙄 for them on your way in & out Janis: alright, whatever Janis: I ain't asked you why you're really that arsed so you don't need to ask me Janis: it don't matter Jimmy: I ain't asking Jimmy: I'm telling you I ain't gonna keep threatening to pull the plug every time you have a strop Jimmy: & I'm the one who's acting 12, yeah alright Jimmy: sort your shit or leave me & it out Janis: oh my God Janis: who's told you to Janis: if emojis count as strops then you're fucked Jimmy: piss off Janis: literally just got here Jimmy: you're so fucking Janis: save it Janis: [comes in] Jimmy: [intense eye contact cos we know] Janis: [we know what happens not giving much chance for chat here] Jimmy: [just like we know he shamelessly ain't that good at faking anything] Janis: [when you have to bounce 'cos what was that] Jimmy: [the levels of hot it would be, I literally can't. It's a miracle they ever speak again]

[cinaminho]

★Stray Kids★ Reaction: Them Winning an Award and mentioning you 5/9

A/N - now y'all should've saw this coming 🤧.

→ Fandom: Stray Kids

╰ Genre: Fluff

→ Warnings: N/A

╰ Sidenote: WARNING ⚠️ If you do not Like IdolxReader stories then this isn't for you. My whole blog isn't actually.

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Summary: Your Boyfriend/Bestfriend wins Their first award and as you

watch/are present at/ the show, they give thanks to their members, Team, fans, of course , and families, However it came as a surprise to you when you heard who they mentioned next.. You.

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Chan:

This came as a big surprise to the baby boy. I mean yeah, they'd accomplished so much this year and worked super hard. That alone was something everyone knew which made the leader proud but an Award was the icing on the cake. More proof that they were going in the right direction and as a leader he couldn't have been more proud. Once they got up on stage he couldn't hide his smile any longer as he tried to stay neutral. You watched in excitement and adoration.

"Ehm." He began but before he could get more out the crowd cheered making him smile more but he continued. "I'd just like to thank everyone who took the time to help us. The gratitude we have towards our fans cannot be showed enough, we love you, STAYS." He took a breath.

"To my members, thank you also for trusting me enough to lead you, I love you all dearly, my family as well... I'd also like to thank my best friend Y/n." You nearly jumped up and screeched but remembered where you were, he really was mentioning you?

"Thank you for encouraging me to keep going, Forcing me to get much needed rest, Letting me know that I was being too hard on myself at times, I love you and thank you for being here tonight as well." He said, a beyond evident smile on his face which you mirrored.

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Woojin:

Our baby thought about this as a moment to not only be proud of this but be thankful and not take it for granite as this award could've been given to anyone but it was given to them instead.

Woojin fought back tears as they reached the stage and he was next To Chan who had given his speech and thanked everyone including his bestfriend. Woojin felt proud by his leaders humbled exterior. He also found the courage in his friends previous speech to give Thanks to someone special to him as well .

Woojin now stood where Chan previously did, cheers erupting making it harder to control his enotuons, he couldn't believe the outcome of it all.

"Thank you all for choosing us as you Best new male artist, it means so much. To our fans who will always show us unlimited love and appreciation, we will continue to do our best by you,our families, our team, ourselves, and each other." Woojin took a deep breath as he looked into the crowd knowing that even though you weren't there, you were watching. Woojin wiped a stray tear from his eye as it'd fought so much to come down and be released and it finally was. The crowd cheered and coo'd.

"Also I want to say thank you to one of the only girls in my life that I talk to and keeps me afloat. To my dearest Y/n, I love you and I hope you're proud of me. I know you think you didn't do much but you contributed alot with your encouragement." Woojin finished with one last Thank you and a bow.

He knew you'd seen his emotions and cherished his words. And so he stepped back allowing his other members to speak with a hidden smile. Feeling accomplished in more ways than one.

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Lee Know:

Was among few of the members who stayed emotionally stable. Sure he wanted to cry, scream, jump around, maybe grind a bit, but he kept his cool but still showed that he was happy and grateful. His Hyung's were by his side in what would be one of his proudest moments and it was all because of their hardwork together, so, what more could he want?

To thank you.

He seen that everyone was doing their absolute best to keep it together and he smiled as He was next to speak.

"Good evening everyone. I'd like to thank You all for even seeing us worthy to be a nominee , thank you to all who believed in us, especially our STAYS who are a huge part of this." He smiled his award winning smile that had you nearly smashing your face against the TV.

"A very special thanks to my gorgeous Y/n." The Fans roared as he smiled cheekily. "I adore you so much." The fans were practically breaking out of their reserved area just excited that they finally knew the basis of your relationship "Thank you again to everyone who voted for us, we love you all." Is what he ended with.

You screamed so loud your mother came in your room and cursed you out but after explaining the situation she joined you in celebration.

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Changbin:

He kept it together he stood tall and somewhat motionless. The baby didn't move and nor did he have much to say as he hadn't prepared a speech or anything of the sort. He patted Seungmin's shoulder who stood next to him bouncing off the heels of his feet, a smile so precious that it could heel the cold hearted planted on his lips. Changbin smiled at his younger brother and member. It made him proud knowing that he helped get to this moment, to see him smile like this.

Minho looked to Changbin as if to ask if he had anything to say, Changbin slightly leaned over just enough to speak into the Mic to say these words;

"First and foremost this goes without saying but to our STAYS, thank you for being the best fandom any rookie group could ever have. Thank you to our families, special thanks to my members, I'd like to also Say to my Best friend, Y/n who said we'd be here one day.. You were right. Thank you and love you."

Everyone began to clap for him as he went back to his regular posture. He looked down smling. You'd been right and he knew it , he just didn't expect it all to happen so soon. In the moment Changbin began to question the dynamic of your friendship and was that really all it was. He was thinking about you the whole night more than the awards and it'd been like that for a while.

It took tonight to make him realize that he'd grown feelings towards one of his main support systems.

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Hyunjin:

So nervous, so excited, so surprised, so precious. Wearing a smile the whole night the shy cutie didn't know what to say when Changbin ushered him to speak next.

He looked out into the audience smiling grateful and bowing to the crowed that cheered for them. He looked and he saw you. Wow, just radiant and glowing without any special lighting. He fiddled with his fingers behind the podium as he spoke.

"Um. Well first I want to say to my members." He said looking back at the other 8 happy boys standing behind him. "I'm glad to share this moment with you and may we keep up the good work , share many more like this, keep making STAYS proud, and living our dreams." Each member smiled and clapped proudly, adoring the tallest member's kind words to them. Facing the crowd once more he blushed and temporarily his his face in his hands to regain his composure.

"Thank you to our wonderful fans, we love you, thank you to our company, families, and friends." He took a shakey breath trying to keep his emotions in check, the crowed at that up and so did you, he was too cute. "Thank you to my Dear Friend, Y/n, I hope you're with us every step of the way in the future. I need you. We need you and we love you. Thank you and good evening." Hyunjin finished strong and you were the first to stand and applause for him. He looked at you once more before stepping Aside to let Jisung speak.

Now to make the night better, finally he'd confess.

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Second time having to write THIS. You know what, fuck it.

Jisung, Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin's will be up later. Tumblr wanna fuckin delete shit and unbold my dialogue. Cute.

I hope y'all enjoyed this,though.

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My apologies for typos/misspellings

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