#but it's all good! we're trying our best!

[sarawritestories]

Unwavering Presence Chapter 13

Cassian X Archeron Sister

Summary: Cassian won't leave Y/N alone in hopes she will at least talk to him, giving her the best gifts money could buy. Perhaps material things are not the way to earn her forgiveness...

Content Warnings: Low self worth

A/N: We're kicking off the 1000 Follower Celebration with a bang!! WOO HOO. I once again can't Thank you enough for your love and support!

Also, we are getting so close to a portion of the story that I have been plotting since day one and I'm so excited. Though I highly doubt you all will be when we get there.

Word Count: 4.3 K

Also thanks @prythianpages for giving me a new banner to use 😍😍

1000 Follower Celebration Masterlist

Unwavering Presence Masterlist

Chapter 12

I awoke to knocking on my door fully aware of who was on the other side. Not moving I tucked the blanket closer to my chin, squeezing my eyes shut, hoping he would leave. When I didn’t answer, the doorknob began to jostle, “Princess, can we talk please?” Cassian’s voice carried through the wood. “I want to make this right.” He continued to knock on the door.

I closed my eyes and sent my emotions down my tattoo; my direct link to Rhys. Hoping he and Feyre were on their way back from the Summer Court.

Cassian’s knocking finally ceased, and I could breathe easier. Inhale…Exhale…

Angel Rhys’ voice rang out in my head, What’s wrong?

Tears prickled my eyes as Cassian’s cold stare from the night before came to the forefront of my mind, “You can barely take care of yourself.” His words rang in my ears.

Can you or Az get me?   I sniffled.

Why? Did something happen to Cassian? Are you in Danger? Rhys’ voice sounded panicked.

Take a look I brought the memories from the night before for him to see.

Me or Az?  Was all he asked; his voice was a lethal calm.

Az, Please.

He is on his way, Angel. I want you to know no one thinks you’re helpless. We love you.

I cracked a smile. Thanks Rhys.”

Rhys left my mind, and I closed my eyes and let sleep consumed me once more.

The sound of shouting jolted me awake. It took me a moment to distinguish the yelling. It was Azriel’s voice that carried throughout the cabin. He. Was. Angry. I slid out of bed, grabbed my robe and opened my door just enough to peek through.

“You’re not taking her!” Cassian snarled his siphons blaring. His face held a mixture of emotions I didn’t care to decipher.

Azriel’s siphons flared in response. “She asked for me. This is Rhys direct order. I’m taking her home.”  Cassian swung at the Shadow Singer only for Azriel’s shadows to flair out and push him to a chair.

I stepped out of the room as shadows pinned Cassian to the chair. “Azriel.”

Both males looked over at me Cassian had a pained look on his face and opened his mouth to speak. Az’s shadows wrapped over his mouth as Azriel glared at him. “You don’t get to speak.” Cassian lunged at Azriel, and I jumped back gasping. Cassian slammed back in the trail trying to fight Azriel’s shadows and I moved closer to the Spy Master. His hand slipped through mine and Cassian glared as his hazel eyes, cold and unyielding as he watched our hands intertwine.

Always hoping someone will save you. Cassian’s words swirled in my head and when our gazes meet, I can tell that he knows what words are filtering through my head, as his gaze shifts from cold to guilty. I tried releasing Azriel’s hand, but he gripped tighter. “She is going to gather her things and we are going to leave.” Cassian dipped his head, “Rhys expects you home in three days’ time. Meaning that he does not want to see you until then. Nod if you understand, Cassian.”  Cassian gave a nod. “Good.” Azriel led me to my room, and he shut the door, and I closed my eyes my heartbeat racing. My thoughts began to overtake my senses.

Weak

Pathetic

Worthless

You don’t belong with him. You don’t belong with anyone.

You. Don’t. Belong.

I choked on a sob leaning against the bed post. Shadows swirling up to my cheeks, kissing away my tears.

“Come on,” I opened my eyes as Azriel’s hands gripped my shoulders, “Let’s get your things.”

Azriel helped me pack my things, I slipped out to the door and headed back to Cassian. Hearing the chair shift as I headed toward the door the Shadow Singer in tow, calling out my name, though muffled by the shadows. Azriel opened the door, letting the sun in and I turned to look at Cassian. His hazel eyes lined with silver, there was pleading there. Don’t go, please, they said.

“Goodbye, Cassian.” A sob escaped and his shoulders began to shake violently as tears streamed down his cheeks. Something felt heavy against my chest, and I had to battle the urge to go to him and wipe his tears. Azriel guided me outside and shut the door behind him, muting the sounds of the General of the Night Court’s Army’s cries.

Wrapping my arms around Az’s neck he grips my waist my bag in his other hand, and he shot us up to the sky. “You, okay?” He asked.

“I just want to go home.” I said, fighting off my own tears. Az shadows consume the two of us as he winnows us to the streets of Velaris. He put me down but gripped my hand as he led us to the town home. The sidra glistening against the morning sun. I instinctively leaned my head against his arm, trying not to focus on the male we left behind.

We walked in silence for a couple beats before nudged me with his shoulder. “You know for what its worth. I know he is remorseful.”

I rolled my eyes, “How could you possibly know that?”

Az smirked, “He could have easily broken away from my shadows. Had them skittering back to me without blinking an eye.” I lifted my head to meet his eyes. His hazel eyes held no hint of humor. “He is one of the most powerful Illyrian, Archeron.”

We reached the town home, and I gripped his elbow halting him in his tracks. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying he chose to stay in that chair.” Azriel’s shadows swirled around my wrist. “He didn’t want to frighten you.”

I crossed my arms, “That’s not good enough.”

Azriel lips pressed in a tight line for a moment. “I know. I would be disappointed in you, if it was enough for you.” He cupped my cheek and kissed my forehead, “Make him suffer, Archeron.”

I gave him a smile, “I’ll make him the Lord of Tears Shed.”

Azriel barked a laugh, “I’m stealing that.”

“Go for it.” I smiled as we headed into the house.

“Rhys, Feyre and Amren are almost back.” Az gracefully changed the subject.

“Were they successful?”

Az’s face turned grim, “Yes.”

“But?”

“But it came at a price.”

I sighed, “It always does. How bad?”

Azriel smiled, “Let’s just say Cassian isn’t the only one banned from the Summer Court anymore.”

Cassian’s POV

A fist collided with my cheek while I was at the training ring, Rhysand’s ring digging into my skin. Blood pooled in my mouth the metallic taste assaulting my taste buds. “You called her weak.” I lifted my head for Rhys to hit another blow on the opposite cheek. Blood spattered on the rock as it sprayed out of my mouth. “You called her worthless.”

I snarled, “I never called her that. I would never call her that!”

It was Azriel’s voice that spoke next, “That’s exactly how she felt though!  She opened up to you about her deepest insecurities, things she hadn’t even told Feyre about!  You used that insecurity and threw it back in her face.” Azriel’s flickered with anger, his shadows swirling around him clearly agitated.

“You know who also does that, Cassian?” Rhys’ voice is calm as my gaze meets him. At that moment, Rhysand was not the High Lord, or my friend. He was being a protective brother. “Nesta. She has spent most of her life with that kind of torment. I would believe that Xavier did it too.” He wound up his arm and felt the crunch of my nose. “Feyre told me that she kept to herself. That she doesn’t trust easily. She trusted you. For whatever reason, you made her feel safe.” I could hear one of my ribs cracking. “Why?”

I fell to my knees, “I was angry.” I hang my head low, blood dripping on the concrete. “Devlon got under my skin, and I was pissed.” My breathing was labored. I went straight to my room to prevent myself from lashing out, but she followed me.” The tears could fall before I could stop them. “She wanted to help.”

“And then you said she was barely able to help herself.” Rhys roared. “That she was always waiting for one of us to help her.” He knelt and gripped my face tightly. “Imagine how she feels, in a place where most fae hate her kind. Imagine how she felt when the first time she went back to the one place she should feel safe in, she was taken. She absolutely should expect us to be there for her. Because should any of our enemies get to her, she may not actually stand a chance.”

“I know.” I wheezed. “I want to make this right.”

“Go to Madja and get healed.” Rhys said, his violet eyes cold.  “I still need my general to breathe.” With that he took to the skies, likely checking in on Y/N. Leaving me alone with my best friend. His face cold, no playful glint in his eyes.

Azriel stalked over to me, his face was one I’ve seen before; one he used on his for the poor souls in his dungeons. I dipped my head, blood dripping past my lips. Az gripped my hair yanking my head back to meet his gaze. His shadows swirled as his lips turned into a snarl. “Fix. It.” He tugged my hair harshly once more. “And pray to the mother that she forgives you.” His knee collided with my chest, the underlying threat clear as I collapsed to the harsh gravel, trying to regain my breath. As Azriel left me in the training ring with my thoughts.

 I tried to take a deep breath the searing pain of my abdomen screamed in response. This was what I deserved. No pain would ever compare to seeing Y/N’s eyes look so broken at my words. I had a plan I just hoped she would hear me out.

Rhysand had other plans. “I’m not arguing with you about this.” My brother crossed his arms and leaned back into his chair. “You’re going.”

I clenched my fist. “How can I fix things if Y/N is here and I’m dealing with her insufferable sister.”

“She won’t even be in the same room as you for longer than five minutes. You can make your sad attempts at forgiveness when you return.”

I slammed my fist on his desk, “You’re a prick. You know that.”

“Watch it, brother. I could ban you from seeing her at all.” Rhys’ voice was even, his voice void of any emotion.

“You wouldn’t do that.” I whispered. “You know how much she means to me.”

Rhysand stood placing his palms on the desk in front of him eyes dark. “You want to wager on that?” I remained silent and his words softened, “As much as I want you to fix this. I need my General right now. I’m not saying this to hurt you, Brother, but she doesn’t need you right now.”

I pressed my lip in a tight line. “Fine.” I turned to walk away. I opened the door.

“Cass, she will come around you know?” I walked out the door leaving his question unanswered and took off to human lands. Though the hairs on the back of neck tingled, unease coiling in my belly, as I had the sense someone was staring at me. I wouldn’t turn to see Mor’s smug face.

I met Nesta’s cold stare with one of my own. She had let me in without so much as a glance only to lead me into the dining room. “Where’s Elain?”

“In her garden. I’m trying to limit her time with…your kind.” I may have towered over the eldest Archeron sister, but she had a gift of making people feel small with just the tilt of her head. On this day Nesta wore a beautiful blue gown, and her hair was braided in her usual style. Yet my mind kept drifting to her baby sister and how similar they look. The way they stand, the same scowl that scrunches up their nose.

“Has your brutish ways impacted your hearing as it has your brain?” My wings rustled as I returned my gaze to the eldest Archeron, “I asked how my sisters were.”

I rolled my eyes. “They’re fine.”

Nesta quirked a brow, “Oh yeah, Y/N giving you a hard time?”

I stilled, “What makes you say that?”

Nesta smirked, “You have the same look most people have when she’s being difficult.”

“She’s not difficult.” I tried to focus on my breathing, remembering the vile things she said to her sister the first time we met. “If anything, I’m the one who made things difficult.”

Nesta lowered her arms and stared at me, her cold gray eyes searching my face. “You love her?” I snorted and to my surprise that took Nesta off guard. “What is loving a human such an outlandish thought to you?” her lips curled upward in a snarl.

I shook my wings and my body and eased my body and mind into something calm, thinking of Y/N’s hand in mine or who beautiful smile. “No, not outlandish for me at all. No what is outlandish to me is the fact you have spent years treating her so terribly and yet here you are asking if she’s okay and if I love her, when even if you did love her, you will never tell her as much.

I approached the woman her back pressing against the wall, “Tell me Nesta, do you know what happened that night you asked her to die?”

Nesta’s eyes widened, as if she too was recalling the memory. “You almost got your wish that day. She almost died. I found her strung up like an animal, her blood was everywhere. We barely made it in time. I could see Nesta paling as I continued. “Did you know the lover she took here got off on torturing her even assaulted her?”

“How dare you-“

“Did. You. Know.” I gritted my teeth my arms caging Nesta in so she couldn’t avoid this. “Did you know that this man had been using her as a doll for months using her job as leverage to get her to stay? Only for her to come home and want love and affection from her sisters only to find disdain and despair here.”

Nesta face looked pain only for a moment before her cool mask slipped back into place. “No, I didn’t and it’s not my place to know what type of lovers my sisters make. I’m sure if he was in high standing to help us get out of poverty, she would have made do.”

I stepped away from her. “Unbelievable. You would have subjected Y/N to a death sentence if you made her stay with him. You didn’t see the cuts on her back like I did. If you had it maybe you wouldn’t be so calm and serene about it.”

Nesta stepped away from the wall smoothing her skirts walking over to the desk in the living room. She opened the drawer to quickly shut it and turned back to me with an envelope in her hand. “They wish to meet in a weeks’ time.” Nesta eyes were glassy, but the fiery rage remained. “Be here in that time. Now. Get Out.”

I snatched the letter from her hand, “You are a disgrace. You failed in every way that counts, Nesta Archeron.” I walked past her heading for the door. I called over my shoulder, “And yet Y/N is the first person to come to your defense or speak of you as someone who needs healing. You never deserved her as your sister.” And with that I left, and I swore I heard a choked sob before I took to the skies.

Reader’s POV

Cassian had been home for a week. I had managed to avoid him by training with Azriel, studying with Rhysand and using his own brothers as shields if he got too close. Both Rhys and Az were happy to oblige in keeping me close and occupied. Then the gifts began appearing at my door.

Chocolates, Jewels, Shoes, by the end of the week the stack of Journals came to my hip. They all went unanswered. The boxes began to collect dust, the chocolates went stale, and the jewels suspiciously went missing after day two. Something tells me a short black-haired female was the culprit of that. Though nothing Cassian could buy with money would not be able to sway me to forgive him. Not after he hurt me in such a deep way.

Feyre walked into my room with a box in her hands at the start of the week, we had been able to spend more time together since the fiasco at the cabin, reading in the library, sharing meals together, walking through the streets of Velaris. It felt like the times before we lost our fortune when it was me and her against the world, I hadn’t realized how much I missed just being in her presence until we started spending more time together. “This was at your door.”  She said shaking the box. She plopped on my bed dropping the box onto my lap. “Open it!”

I sighed, putting my book down, I untied the ribbon and open the lid, with a note.

Princess,

Please accept this gift as my apology to you.

I miss you.

Cassian.

Handing Feyre, the note, I began unwrapping the paper to find a gorgeous red silk gown I picked it up out of the box. Feyre smiled and nudged me, “Try it on.” Facing her I opened my mouth to protest and was met with her pushing me off the bed. “Right now.”

A few moments and I emerged from the changing partition and Feyre gasped. “Y/N… you look so beautiful.” I walked over to the mirror and turned to get a full view. The bodice of the gown, being held up by thin straps, had glittered fabric covering just enough that the swells of my breast were on display. Rich Silk overlapped meeting the sheer fabric covering my abdomen, red boning standing out against the flesh tone. The red satin draped down ruching at my hips as it cascades down a revealing slit to reveal my newly toned and muscled leg. I had to agree with Feyre.

The dress was stunning, but I recalled the note left with it and I pursed my lips.

Are you that incompetent of taking care of yourself? His voice echoed in my mind.

 “He called me worthless. Did he believe that that him buying me this was going to make me fall to my knees and forgive him.” I rolled my eyes and went back to change out of the dress. “Didn’t even hand me this gift himself, had to leave it at my door like a coward.” I mumbled sliding the rich fabric off my body and back into my purple dress with light lavender tulle sleeves. I walked over to the bed to place the dress back into the box.

“What are you going to do with the dress?” Feyre questioned not seeming to have an answer for my earlier inquiries.

“Keeping it. The dress is gorgeous and fits me like a glove. The dress will not suffer because the male who gifted it, is incompetent.” I sighed and crawled into bed placing my head on my twin’s lap where she instinctively fingers through my hair. “This isn’t enough.”

Feyre hummed and we sat in silence for a moment. “What would it take for him to earn that forgiveness?” I glance up at her and her blue eyes meet mine, “Is what happened unforgivable to you?”

I thought about it. Cassian up to this point had been nothing by kind and attentive to me. What he said was said at a moment of anger and if I was honest, I pushed when I should have let him be. However, that did not give him a right to throw my past and my insecurities back in my face the way he did. “No. It’s not. Not for him anyway.This dress or the other gifts for that matter, doesn’t tell me that this won’t happen again.  That he won’t lash out and hurt me. I have given my heart to cruel people too many times. I can’t risk that again.”

Feyre hummed once more. “Rhysand and I are going to the human lands.” I sat up at that and gave her a questioning look. “Yes Nesta, sent word to Cassian two days ago.” Oh, so that’s why the gifts had stopped at that point. “We are to go back in a few days.”

“Great I’ll-“

“Rhys thinks it would be best if you stayed home. I can’t say I disagree, with everything that has gone on,” and everything that happened the last time I was in the human lands, though she doesn’t say it. “I must agree. I would feel better knowing you were here.

I lay back on the bed and groan, “You are lucky that I am in no mood to fight. I’ll stay but I’ll grumble about it the whole time.”

Feyre kissed my cheek, “Thank you. Now let’s go get breakfast, I’m starved.” I laughed and followed her out the room, though I can’t get the image of Cassian taking off that dress off me from my mind.

Cassian’s POV

I was almost ready to give up by the time Feyre and Rhys were getting ready for the meeting with the human queens. I stormed into Rhys’s office with the last gifts I provided. “What kind of person destroys a stuffed toy?” I hold up the stuffed bat I got her, whose wings are now ripped apart.

Azriel and Rhys both pressed their lips in a tight line, but it was Azriel who lost his composure first. I threw the bat at him, and he caught it with ease. “She’s brilliant. I love her.” He looked to Rhys, “Can we keep her?”

I groaned plopping on the couch as Feyre came in. “I just don’t know what else to do. I have tried everything. I even wrote her a letter. She looked me in the eye as she threw it in the fire.” Her words still haunted my memories:

“How would you feel if the one person you trusted with your heart took your deepest insecurities and threw them in your face. The one person you felt safe and protected with just takes everything you are so afraid to burden people with and tells you, you are exactly that. A burden.” Then she walked away.

“Cassian did you hear me?” Feyre’s voice pulled me out of my daze. Recognizing that she caught me she smiled and gripped my hand with her own. “She doesn’t want material things or pretty words Cass. She wants security that what happened at the cabin will never happened again.” With her free hand she pressed her palm against my chest. “She would much rather you give your heart in exchange for hers than any material object.”

An idea blossomed into my mind, and I smiled looking at my girl’s twin. “My heart”. I pressed my palm over the back of her hand on my chest. I kissed her cheek, “Have I told you how brilliant you are today?”

Feyre smiled, “No, but I can see your gears turning in that mind of yours, do you have a plan?”

I nod and look to Azriel, “I do, but I need your help, Az.”

Azriel smiled, “Tell me what I need to do.”

So, I did.

Rhysand and Feyre had left for the human realm that night and I set off to go find Y/N. I started in the library and to my surprise she was there. I smiled looking at her reading, her brow furrowed in concentration, her lip tucked between her teeth. Her hair was up in a cute little bun, and she wore those knee-high socks that made my cock strain in my leathers.

“I can see you, General.” She said not bothering to look up from her book. “Something you need?”

“Get dressed.” That caught her attention. Her eyes meet mine in a challenge. “I can’t keep doing this, Princess. I miss you.”

“You should have-“

“I’m well aware of what my actions have done,” I stepped deeper into the room approaching her. “I am asking you to give me a chance to show you, just how sorry I am.”

“I can’t leave-“

“I’m not arguing with you about this. I am asking for a chance. Please.”

I could see her expression turn into contemplation. Then with a sigh she closed her book, and I fought my heart from swelling as her eyes met mine, “What should I wear?” I smiled.

It felt good to have her in my arms once more as we landed in the mountains. She was shivering as we walked a few miles from the clearing I landed in. I tucked my wing around her to prevent the wind from whipping her skin raw. Her teeth chattering told me otherwise. “We’re almost there, Sweetheart.”

“Cassian, Where are we goin-“She paused mid-sentence as the Cabin came into view. A large cabin sat here the chimney already having plumes of smoke swirling out of the top. Her mouth was slightly agape that the cabin was about the size of the town home, and she looked around the area her gaze found the one thing I was hoping she would find. Walking closer to one of the larger trees that had wildflowers blooming she looked at the frame of the woman. The portrait had faded over time and not in the best condition due to weather here, but the woman shared my eyes and it was the only good quality photo I had of her. “Cass, what is this? Who is she?”

I knelt in front of the memorial and smiled my hand grazing the picture, “This is my home, Princess.” I looked to Y/N and gave another smile, “This is a portrait of my mother.”

To Be Continued...

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#cassian x reader #cassian acotar #acotar #acotar fanfiction #cassian x you #cassian imagine #cassian fanfic #cassian #archeron sister #feyre archeron #rhysand acotar #azriel shadowsinger

[wosoluver]

Not good at saying goodbyes.

Part 3/? - previous - next

Lena x childhood bestfriend!reader

Today you got ready like any other day. Had breakfast, got into the car and drove to work.

What you weren't expecting, walking

in was to see Lena's mother there.

When she saw you, her eyes were full of sparkles.

"Y/N! I can't believe this! You're all grown up!" quickly giving you a tight hug you had missed very much. "You're so beautiful. You look just like your mom. How is she? How are you?"

"I'm good, she's doing well, she's planning on retiring and moving back here."

"It's so good to see you. Can't believe Lena didn't tell me you were here."

"I can."

And she quickly looked for her daughter, who had opted for walking away, minutes prior.

"You meant no harm. I know it, sweetheart. And now that you're here, she'll come to terms eventually.

She still celebrated your birthday every year. And hung up your Christmas stocking, oh and she still hasn't watched that movie you had made plans to see together."

"I kept a full diary of the first two years after I moved, so she could catch up, when we were reunited. And watched as many of her games as I could fit in my schedule. Also, I kept the big bear she won me, at the fair we would aways go to."

"Everything is going to end up in the right place. I'm leaving, but just in case, let me give you my number."

"Thanks, it's so good seeing you again."

"You two honey, you have no idea. Have a good day at training, and if you see my daughter, let her know I went home and that I don't appreciate her walking away."

"Of course."

She was just like you remembered. And for a second it made you feel like you went back in time, when you'd aways pass on her messages to Lena when she tried running away from trouble.

You made your way to the locker room but most girls were already at the gym.

"Obi, your-"

"Lena." - she harshly said.

"Everyone around here calls you Obi, I'm the one who came up with it!"

"Well you lost the right to it, when you betrayed me!"

"I didn't betray you! I was a kid! Who didn't know what she was doing!"

"You hurt me!"

"I was hurting too! And I thought the best way to protect you, was not saying goodbye."

"Now it doesn't matter why you did it! I can't go back in time, and tell the younger version of myself that! I can't tell her that everything was just a misunderstanding. I can't unbreak her heart!"

"If I could go back in time and change everything, I would. I swear. And I'm sorry that's all I can give you."

"Yeah."

What was that even supposed to mean? 'Yeah'?

In truth Lena didn't know either. She didn't know what say. She only knew how she felt and that was, confused.

"As I was going to say in the first place, your mom went home and you are in trouble."

"For what?"

"Leaving while we were talking."

"She can't be serious! You did it first! And I'm the one in the wrong?"

You only gave her a sad look as she walked out of the room. It was like you were eight again, and getting in trouble for doing whatever the other was doing.

You tried your best giving her some space after that. After all you had nothing else to say to each other. She had bursted out her feelings and you had apologized. And you had been trying to accept the reality. You were far from doing good, but you decided to put her feelings first. Being respectful, to her wish to not be in touch with you.

"Hey Y/N! We're going out tonight, please come with us." - Said Georgia.

"Sorry, I can't. I have some plans I can't bail on."

"No you don't!" - said Giulia. "Stop saying that just so we leave you off the hook, for not showing up at our get togethers."

At this point Stanway had went her own way.

"You can't keep doing this. You're isolating yourself from the team. This has got to be affecting your mental health, the girls are worried."

"No they are not. They think I'm busy because of a relationship."

"Only Syd thinks that. And I know the truth. Please reconsider it?"

"Okay, I'll text you if I change my mind."

You didn't. Of course you didn't. And that had been the last drop, for her and some of your teammates. After a long talk through the weekend, they had decided on keeping to themselves. To not make things worse.

But Giulia could not hold back when you walked into training, Monday morning, with deeper under-eye bags, and a emotionless look in your face.

You were tired. Tired of crying. Tired of isolating, and only talking to your parents, through a phone. Tired of blaming yourself constantly.

As you left to the field, they all shared a look. Even Lena. You seemed to be doing okay... until stoped pretending you were.

"Don't act surprised! Your the one doing this to her!"

She said looking Obi dead in the eye, and going after you.

"Y/N! Wait up. We can warm up together."

"Is that an excuse for another lecture?"

"No. But you can vent out if you want to."

"There's nothing much to say... Except that leaving Barça was probably a mistake."

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

"Thank you, for trying to include me the best you can, and for taking care of me. You're and the girls are great."

"I wish you gave yourself a chance, to be happy here."

"Give her a chance!" - said Lea trying to get it through her friends mind. They had stayed back inside.

"She did worse to me!"

"You're taking this to far! She made a mistake and apologized. And I think not having her best friend for the last 15 years, was punishment enough."

"But-"

"No buts. What she did was wrong. But she was a kid and she thought she was doing the right thing.

You're an adult, and you know you are doing the wrong thing! It's not the same."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Do you think your younger self would approve of this? Of anyone treating her this way? Because the Lena I know, would never treat someone like this. Especially someone she loves."

"You still care a lot about her huh?"

"I love her and I don't think anything can change that. I promised myself to never leave her again."

"Just don't break your own heart, to keep that promise."

"I don't think a heart can be broken twice. But I'll try my best not to push everyone away."

"That's a good start. You need to feel better for the match this week. Frankfurt is a little harder to beat."

It felt good having someone to talk to again. And you knew you could only blame yourself for the loneliness you had been in. And she was right, you had to give yourself a chance, with or without Lena. Although that isn't how you ever planned your life to go.

Next part out either today or tomorrow 🩷

#woso x reader #futfem #lena oberdorf #lena oberdorf x reader #dfb frauen #fc bayern frauen

[now-showing-at-the-hawk-events]

Now Showing At The Hawk

       🎟MetalSandwich Movie Mania🎟

Welcome to the MetalSandwich Movie Event! I hope everyone will have a good time and make new friends as we create or appreciate the cool stuff that comes out of this event!

Tag for the event is #MetalSandwichMovies24

After a movie night with some friends on discord where we watched The Lost Boys, the idea came about to me to have a Week, seven days with a prompt for each day, with the date and prompts announced months in advance so everyone has time to make something for it!

We held the event and so many of you participated and had a lovely time, I knew I wanted to keep it up!

The last event was for movies from pre-2000, but so many of you were interested in a post-2000s event, we're having one! And this time it's not one but TWO weeks!

The prompts for it will be focused on movies from the 2000s, 2010s, 2020s! After an interest check and vote, the date decided was June 9th-22nd!

Remember, even if you can't participate, you can still join in by showing others your love and support! You could even join the discord to hang out or have a movie night!

Tag for the event is #MetalSandwichMovies24!

The Official Prompts!

June 9th - Musical Movie Day

June 10th - Animated Movie Day

June 11th - Sci-Fi Movie Day

June 12th - Fantasy Movie Day

June 13th - Action Movie Day

June 14th - Adventure Movie Day

June 15th - Romance Movie Day

June 16th - Historical Movie Day

June 17th - Horror Movie Day

June 18th - Creature Feature Movie Day

June 19th - Free Genre Movie Day

June 20th - Iconic Movie Day (EX: The Matrix, Mean Girls, LotR, Legally Blonde, Pirates of the Caribbean, Jennifer's Body)

June 21st - Cult Classic Movie Day

June 22nd - Final Day to Post

Read more for Rules & FAQs

What is accepted for the event?

Anything! Fan fiction, fan art, photo edits, moodboards, fan videos, playlists, cosplays, you name it! Just let your creativity go!

Is there a minimum word count or something similar for other projects?

Not at all! Go wild, write drabbles, do anything!

I will ask that any videos include captioning and images include alt text to be considerate towards our friends with hearing and auditory processing difficulties!

How strict do we have to stick to the prompts?

Good question! With the variety and freedom of the prompts I hope you'll have plenty of wiggle room. And maybe you don't feel any movie au in particular but still want to participate? Maybe the boys just have a movie night watching a movie of your choice or they're actors! Who knows, you do! ;) I just want everyone to have fun. If you'd like any movie suggestions, let us know and we'll make a post!

What kind of ratings and content are allowed?

This is an explicit, kink, and Dead Dove friendly event as we are dealing with many kinds of movies, including horror! Just make sure to tag appropriately. If you're unsure and need help with tagging, reach out via DM and we'll give our best suggestions.

I might run a little late in posting? Is that okay?

Life happens and it sucks! The dates are good for organization and giving everyone a clear schedule to try to keep to. But anything made specifically for this event will be accepted as long as it is posted sometime in June or early July. Otherwise, there's always next year!

I'd like to chat, maybe share ideas, or just show love for our favorite guys! Is there a discord?

Yes! It's 18+ and you can join us here!

Cool! Is there a Twitter?

Also yes! Give us a follow and share!

If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to drop an ask! ❤

#metalsandwich #metalsandwichmovies24 #harringroveson #billy hargrove #eddie munson #steve harrington #harringrove #stedilly #steddie #metalsandwichmovies23

[allsassnoclass]

hazel what if u <3 wrote more of ur vigilante au <3

good news! i will!!!!! eventually!!!!

i have an ask box prompt from megs for it, and the more i think about it the more a "tortured for information" whump piece is appealing to me..... that being said i am currently fighting tooth and nail to finish a fic for a big bang and it is sapping All of my writing time, so I can't guarantee a timeline, but i'm hoping to knock out more of my ask box prompts by the end of the year so that would include one for the vigilante au!

#ask #jess #daydadahlias #hi jess hope you're well :) #life has been wilder than anticipated for the past few months #ALSO I MIGHT MOVE OUT SOONER THAN EXPECTED #anyway. i've had very little writing time but i am so ready to write for this fandom again #i will not be hitting 100k words posted this year unfortunately :( breaking the 3 year streak #but it's all good! we're trying our best! #writing goals for the rest of the year are 1. the big bang fic 2. trying to finish my 5sos ghost au 3. ask box prompts (as many as possible #of course other stuff may come up and we'll see what happens #not setting anything in stone except the big bang fic #i just need to finish the rough draft by friday then i'll be fine #that being said. need to go finish a scene. they're about to kiss i just need it done #of to write! and then off to bed i am very tired i just got back from a bachelorette weekend

[skydigiblogs]

this was originally supposed to just be the first image and i was supposed to stop there

then i decided to shade and finish it bsdhfbshjdfvdsjfds

i've never been able to draw devimon and finish a piece with it at the focus before now so i'm pretty proud of this

also the wings are heavily inspired by ST-344's artwork!! it's giving distressed jeans vibes (/j)

#digimon #devimon #digimon art #digimon fanart #sky's art #i finally started adhd medication and i'm trying to make the best of having energy in the evenings now to do art #one of the reasons we didn't really do a lot of digimon art was primarily the level of detail dissuading us from it #we can draw detailed characters yeah #(we're a grand chase fan for goodness sake) #but the mix of complex detail and odd proportions would often disincentivize our brain and we'd end up with unfinished sketches #also did you know some card artwork of devimon depicts them with hair??? #it's such an interesting detail #like i know ladydevimon has hair and all but i'm so used to seeing devimon in the anime with that full-length cowl and no visible hair that #well it was jarring #if you look on wikimon at some of the older card art you can see what i mean

[buckttommy]

gonna be honest, friends. a lot of you would be so much happier with your fandom experience if you went outside + stopped complaining about things/people you don't like. genuinely.

#truly... discovering The Great Outdoors was like an automatic cure for all my fandom angst #sad about [x]? go outside. mad about [x]? go outside. #it's like they laced fresh air with xanax or something. i'm immediately healed #and then with the other thing — the whole complaining thing — it's like. it's not just “oh this is my blog and i have the right #to blah blah blah“ (which. like. you do. unequivocally) #but when you complain it's like. it's not even about you sharing your vibes with everyone else #it's about like. you allowing this thing that is ultimately inconsequential to have an impact on your mood #and maybe this ties back to the whole “go outside” thing #but sometimes i get really mad about something in fandom and then i'll be like you know what? #it actually does not matter. we're all just doing our best and trying to have a good time #and then i'm healed #so. you know. #if you find yourself getting upset about things that are ultimately not your concern / will not matter in 60 years / will happen anyway #do yourself a favor #and get some fresh air #jack.txt

[thebirdandhersong]

well mark that down as situation 2938489 that I don't know how to handle

#i would love advice on this if y'all have any thoughts to share because i know what my parents think and im having trouble sorting it out #i love these three friends of mine but it is really draining to be around them now because all they will talk about is church drama #(re: our old church) and rehashing it all and being Outraged about the horrors etc etc #either that or being downright condescending about protestants/non denominations and acting like it's funny to talk like that all the time #i end up being more angry or resentful or exasperated at the end of our conversations than glad and at peace like i did before #(before all THIS ish happened and the three of them were like okay this is all we're going to talk about now) #i've tried to say in gentle ways (i am simply not capable of this kind of blunt confrontation) that maybe we should not be talking #so uncharitably towards other people especially behind their backs. like. yes bad things happened. we have to acknowledge that. #but continually making jokes and jibes at a priest's expense really rubs me the wrong way especially since i KNOW that he loves us #and in many ways was trying his best in the circumstances. and are we not supposed to be loving our neighbour #and is this not downright slander to keep going on this way esp since it goes on for HOURS at a time #anyway i don't know what to DO because if i keep chatting with them/meeting up with them conversation will be 90% this thing and i Hate It #but on the other hand i feel responsibility towards them because my godson's one of them and another is a friend who is a fairly recent #convert and if i leave them to stew in their own echo chamber i doubt it'll do them good #am i supposed to keep some distance? am i supposed to keep arguing whenever one of them says something unkind or inflammatory? #am i supposed to keep speaking up so that they hear a different perspective? am i supposed to run in the other direction for my own peace o #mind? anyway i am still thinking this over and it stresses me OUT #it used to be fun and life giving to be around these people and now it is so exhausting and seriously alarming in many ways

[volivolition]

I say this in the most loving way possible, how the fuck can you write the most expressive and magical tags ever?? How do you have the mental energy to form words? 50% I can only say "nice post op". You inspire me to spread positivity to everyone but I literally can't be this positive and kind all the time. Just want to send you love and know that I appreciate you <3

HKJGH AW RED!! :'] <3 it does take a lot of energy, i understand :'0 i keep a lot of cool art in my tumblr drafts. the art stays in there until i have energy to type all my thoughts out. a lot of things stay stuck in there… i try to make sure art from my friends get out soon though :0 don't feel bad if you can't type a lot!! anything you can manage is okay! no one can be positive and kind all the time, and that's normal! just do what you can. i promise it's enough. (<- these are things i need to remind myself too <3)

a lot of it is literally just me needing to scream hkjfh, i have a lot of thoughts and i love sharing them always. i love rambling, can you tell? (<- joke) also i have a lot of love to give and i love artists and their creations. like WOW someone made a thing!! and they wanted to share it with the world!! AND I GET TO SEE IT!!! i GOTTA tell them i enjoy it!!!!!

it's also my empathy acting up because im also an artist!! and he's like "hey!! you love people writing nice tags on *your* art!! imagine if you were this artist, wouldn't you be happy to see someone tagging it with nice things? :)!" and im like yeah!! if this makes me happy, i should make other people happy too :3

ANYWAY I APPRECIATE YOU TOO RED YOU'RE DEAR TO ME!! SENDING LOVE BACK!!!! <33

#my conceptualization and my empathy handshake WE GOTTA COMPLIMENT ALL THE ARTISTS IMMEDIATELY!!! #i used to take art classes and we were taught how to do art critiques? so i use a lot of that terminology too but only the compliments part #i don't remember much from those anymore but you'll see a lot of my tags talk about ''wow i love the warm colors you used here!'' #''the poses are so dynamic!'' ''what an interesting composition!'' ''really good use of texture!'' <- it's basically habit now #talk about what you notice! talk about details you like! talk about how it made you feel! (<- did you laugh? smile? cry?) #truly sometimes i just write ''this made me feel indescribable emotions'' and thats cool too hkjhg <33 also uh. scream a lot?? :'] #''WAAAAUHGKJH!!!'' <- very common in my tags hgkjh <3 i know it's hard a lot of the times though!! words are DIFFICULT... we try our best!! #it helps when its a character i know too lmao you'll see me YELL SO MUCH about a post with volition in it bro i will not shut up jhkjdh <3 #or when theres a lot of things happening in a scene to comment on! like if theres a lot of characters or its a comic! #THAT'S MORE THINGS TO COMPLIMENT BABEY!! B) i just like supporting artists. we're all creating such cool things to show to each other :]!! #my whole fuckin goal on earth is to be kind and silly and loving and earnest so!! im trying my best hkjhg <3 #volta transmissions

[baishouqijia]

i am desperately trying to be more active but i'm experiencing mental burnout. just want to say thank you for the interactions even when i'm only checking in here now and again - i'll respond when i'm feeling better! <3

#nothing really happened - work and the house just got on top of me. #for context i was promoted to a management position in october and i hit my stride so i have a lot of responsibilities and i'm hhh. #having to play catch up in terms of skillset. i'm good at my job but i'm not the best - therefore ? i must keep pushing :y #as for home... Man (horse.jpg) #we bought a house a year ago. i envy people who renovate days after moving in. we're a year in and i'm only just redoing the kitchen floor #after a leak that happened in JUNE 2022. it's expensive as fuck and takes so much time. #i'm so fortunate to be able to afford a house but like. i won't lie. it's really hard having to be responsible for everything that goes #wrong with it. my kitchen has been subfloor for months. we destroyed our kitchen island trying to make room for the floor to be done #so we're down storage and stuff is just piling up. eh i know this is like. first world problem and really not a big deal. #but when your house is in disrepair because you don't have the money to fix it quickly or time to do it yourself. shit's hard. #anyway this is a rant. don't want a wrench or a tissue- just wanna get it out. #[puts on pantalone hat] i have money anxiety too #like i earn the most i've ever earned. i won't really get much higher than this atm. i'm due a bonus and i can cash out my shares #but fixing up the house is so expensive. i'm worried i'm gonna lose it all somehow. idfk why. when things are going well i worry i'm gonna #lose it all somehow. growing up poor does a number on your resource guarding. if i spend a penny I Will Lose It All. #' dima why do you like pantalone so much ' HE JUST LIKE ME FRRRR #sry this is a ramble . i treat tumblr tags like my diary but i hope you enjoyed the read xoxox #anyways! point is! i'm alive! i'm itching to come back but i dont have the mental space for fun rn. #can't have fun until i feel safe enough to have fun if that makes sense. #aight byeee

[quetzalpapalotl]

The contrast between these two is so funny to me.

#no we cannot say the shockops are based in the idw comics because that would mena orion is a cop and it's problematic #these are the ~humble origins~ of our morally white good guys #anyway here Orion comes with a gun and an axe #we're still portraying Megatron as a revolutionary fighting injustice because that's not problematic at all #hasbro hasbro like i get why you're so ashamed but maybe you should have thought about that before letting jro make op a cop just saying #i think the best you can do now is just embrace it and face the implications head on a la phase 2-3 #instead of trying to deny idw1 while simultaneously cashing on it #dtrsadfhgas well it's just a toy description it's just fun to see them tying themselves in a knot like this

[lynne-monstr]

hi this is going to sound a bit silly, but I just wanted to let you know I really enjoy reading your posts about how your week was, or other things going on, like your root canal saga (glad it went well btw!). I've been following you for years and always enjoyed them but lately they have been extra meaningful, I'm going through some tough times and don't have many people right now, and I find reading about what happened during your week comforting, like I'm catching up with a friend. it helps me feel a little less lonely. so yeah I just wanted to say thank you for bringing a stranger some comfort, and I hope things go well with your recovery from the root canal and you have a great rest of the week!

hi lovely anon! that's not silly at all, and i totally get what you mean <3 i love seeing the human bits of the people i follow on here, and it makes me feel connected even when i'm not actively talking to anyone. your message definitely put a smile on my face in the midst of a hectic day at work. (which i am currently taking a 5 min break from to save my sanity.)

i hope your tough times ease up soon! being a person is such hard work. and thank you for the good root canal wishes, i'm super glad the worst part is (hopefully) over! feel free to stop in whenever you like 💙💙💙

#lynne gets nice messages #anonymous #thanks for the ask! #i love tumblr so much #we're all out here trying our best and having a good time #stopping by anon

[oftheblue]

When you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)✨!

🌷🌟🌸

Hi, lovely!! Thanks for sending me this~ 💖 (even tho I need some time to really think about it heh)

Okay so, 5 things I like about myself:

My imagination (I like how I can make even mundane things feel more fun for me)

My curiosity (I know there's that saying "curiosity killed the cat" but in this case I feel it always enriched my life and still continues to do so)

My intuition about people

The care that I have for others (if there's something that I feel I can honestly be proud of, it's this)

My hands (idk, i find them pretty :))

#to be honest this kind of served as some time for reflection in a way #it was a reminder of how difficult it was to name five good things and how easy it actually was thinking about things i don't like #but that's because we don't usually look at our stronger points #we're always more focused on those bad qualities of ours #and a lot of the time that's not even something that's done consciously #it's just the way it is i guess #because it's something we're more used to #so much that even saying all that i do like felt like sounding a bit arrogant at first because it was all 'me myself and i' #but that's just something i need to work on because there's no need to feel like that #i think it's easy saying “be kind to yourself” #but now taking this as an example i feel it's also not that hard to actually follow through with that saying #something just needs to click #like it did to me now #i've been chasing after this feeling again and now that it's here i'll try my best to make it stick for as long as possible #so thank you for this one more time <3

[darubyprincx]

Can I ask for a 🍉 in the ask game?

you may indeed!

*exhales* okay. this one's gonna be terrifying to elaborate on but here we go anyways.

there is no art without the artist and there is no artist without the art. they are, in a lot of cases but not all of them, one and the same. every detail you write into these little stories is probably revealing a small patch of your soul without your even realizing it.

this goes double for some of our longer works, for example- take twice., a story that was written during one of the worst times of our life. there was a situation with a guy, you know how it goes, and we literally threw ourself into working on it as an escape. that one's got a lot of themes of healing and how one mistake can cause horrible outcomes. actually now that i think about it a lot of our works deal with hope and healing. i guess it's a mirror

(btw whoever said that your teens are your golden years can die of a thousand tiny papercuts. i am NOT thriving and it is NOT my fault)

ashes is... a long and complex thing. it's faceted. it's messy. to be completely honest we absolutely hate some of the chapters we've posted. but it's been an exercise of honesty- both with ourself, and with our readers.

the characters in it, they fucked up SO bad. most of them are dealing with some serious shit. but there's still hope for them. (i'm not gonna lie, i finished chapter 7 and read back through it like "huh. if anyone ever thinks for half a second about us the author writing that in such staggering detail, we're toast")

there's a lot of projection. like a lot. i aint gonna say where but it's there. it's such a personal thing to be doing this for free and of your own will, both for your own good and others.

life is fuckin tough, and as writing is a reflection of life, the things expressed there will also be fuckin tough. i keep on, though because 1. if i ever stopped writing i would literally explode and 2. i've already promised myself to NEVER abandon a work. (breaks are allowed, though.) i have a commitment here both to the story ive started and to the readers

#ray's tag #answered #this is incomprehensibke because of out of the things we're good at explaining #one of those things is NOT the big picture #everything is connected everything is intertwined and we have zero ffucking idea what our own wtiting process is #i have to be extremely vague and dance around the point in order to draw peoples attention to it #there's no other way to do it. and every time i look at the moral directly it dissapears. its always there in the corner of my eye #that's what stories are to me. the vague painting out of the corner of the artists eye. #anne carson said it best in nox: you turn back to the page you were trying to translate and the lights remain in your mind #the great big barking web of them #that's what drives me insane about writing and why i can never stop. it's a paradox; a study in desperation #someone told me once that they knew i really liked honeysuckle tea because that was the tea i mentioned the most in our fics #it took me out. i didnt expect it at all. #and with all that said. idk. take this as you will. tumblr user quaranmine also explained this really well

[toastsnaffler]

istg one of these days.......

#ya know that post thats like texting lesbians: its throw bowling balls down the stairs day u better be game #one of my fave posts ever in the world #anyway my lesbian flatmate texts like the straight female friend part of that post and i love her but its killing me #its endearing but its so hard not to read it as flirty stoppitttt im already dedicating so much work to repressing this little crush 😭 #ALSO THAT POST THATS LIKE FLIRTING W GIRLS WILL HAVE U ADDING :3 TO UR TEXTS literally so true but I dont think she means it like that 😭😭 #like she talks to everyone that way I remember when I first met her me + my ex spent ages trying to work out if she was gay #bc we were so sure she had a gay vibe but every text felt like it was pointing the other way..... the vindication when I found out she WAS #anyway my resolve weakens with every 😘 emoji like im already thinking abt it dont give me any more ideas !!!! #its not even embarrassing anymore like how am i supposed to exist near someone like her WITHOUT ever having a gay thought #so im not sorry if she sees this. i take rejection like a champ dont be shy #but genuinely tho i dont think shes interested shes just cute like that. and idw make things weird cuz we're still living together next yr #itd be suchh a pain if i made things awkward right when we need to find a place. and anyway my best case is our 3rd flatmates WORST #i wouldnt do that to him god forbid #buuuut...... nope ok enough of that im going back to bed its almost 1am #this is what HAPPENS when u have insomnia tuning into the crazy radio every night #need to get onto dating apps and find smth new to distract me before this gets out of hand....... buttttt i dont want to >:| #its ok my patience is infinite i like playing the long game. i was into my ex for 2 and a half years before i made any moves #i can wait this one out too either itll happen eventually or itll pass. we're good #ok thats GOODNIGHT from me if u read this far wow ur nosy arent u...... jk ily sleep well everyone #muah all round #.diaries

[six-of-ravens]

I would really like a single office day where I don't come home and play an evening-long game of Am I The Asshole?

#i probably am #coworker got mad at me today bc she used chatg/pt to write a list of revisions for me #and what it wrote was both incredibly condescending (chat/gpt feels the need to explain the basic rules of design like you're an infant) #and way longer than it should've been (we ask everyone to keep their posts short and sweet so that we don't have to read a whole paragraph #to figure out what the hell they want us to do) #so anyway i just told her 'pls just write out the tasks we don't need a whole chatg/pt essay for this' #and that made her mad bc she 'wrote everything up so nicely!' (no you didn't bitch) #so anyway we're caught in a loop of both thinking the other is a fucking asshole who's being a dick for no reason #also i sent her 2 screenshots just to explain that I'd thought 2 things were different sizes and she went ballistic #anyway... it's annoying bc i think she's our best designer but also. very much starting to not like her as a person #maybe i complimented her work too much. the other week she wrote out changes BY HAND that were perfectly clear and good #and i told her as much in the meeting #so....i guess this time she decided to use chatgpt? to be massively condescending bc CLEARLY i didn't just type thr wrong number somewhere #nooooooo CLEARLY i just don't understand web design at all! #also she got in a snit about 'of course X is Y pixels tall! we do all those meetings where we discuss the grid size!!' #which like....i am in those meetings and they are just the one dev trying to convince the designers to use the grid #and them coming up with a million reasons not to #sooooooo fuck me i guess for not expecting you to use the grid when all you do is piss yourselves about how were stifling your creativity #ANYWAY. so yeah maybe i am the asshole but in my defence don't use a fkn ai to write something that should take like 5 mins to write

[ratcandy]

Either you're disappointed with the datcher fanon interpretation conductor being treated as more grandpa than grooves or grooves being villianized

(Disappointed by) Dadtcher fanon interpretation: To say I have issues with it would be a slight understatement but I at least understand where it came from and why it happened - Foundation's there and, unfortunately for anyone else, Snat's like the only bastard here who gets any semblance of character development and has somewhat understandable reasoning behind him being the way that he is. Not to say his treatment of Hat Kid is in any way justified (nor do I particularly understand it given how he is with children in canon?) but I at least understand it. I get how and why people got from Point A to Point B. Dadtcher is Not really my cup of tea though . Often times the execution of the dadtcher idea is uh... m. Character break-y or just nnnot done well? if u make him traumadump to hat kid I want you to explode anyway Mom Cooking Cat will always be superior I won't accept criticism. -

(Disappointed by) Conductor seen as more of a Grandpa than Grooves: Well Conductor is canonically a grandfather while Grooves isn't (that we know of) HsdkjHKSJGH, so that's a bit of a strange way of wording that but. If you mean Conductor being treated as a better parental figure than Grooves is/would be, then yea, I certainly don't like that lmao. Conductor's parenting skills leave a lot to be desired and seeing how he treats children that aren't his - u know like putting them on exploding trains - that's, uh. Well. U know. I think this only happens because Conductor is more popular than Grooves, though. So there's just more found family/dad content with him in general. Which I don't entirely get giving the whole u know exploding train scenario but pfft scoff tch I mean who's counting As for Grooves yea personally I've always looked at him and went "oh that's my dad/uncle" more than Conductor but also are we considering canon or not because -

(Disappointed by) Grooves being villainized: That's something I have an issue with regarding canon as opposed to fanon. Actually, has the fandom villainized Grooves... at all? It seems to me that most of the fandom has either neutral or positive opinions of him; hardly anyone treats him as an antagonist, let alone villainizing him. Which I completely understand, because canon utterly botched the execution of Grooves as a villain so everyone choosing to just Look Away makes total sense I think if more people villainized Grooves I'd be more curious than disappointed. I'd want to know the reasoning behind that. Because if you're villainizing him then you're seeing a character trait or development that I'm missing - one that would inherently explain his 180 switch in canon - and I'd love to know about that pfff

My disappointment with fanon more lies in characterizations of Hat Kid. Even if they're all characterizations I begrudgingly understand due to GFB themselves not even knowing how they've characterized Hat Kid Either her or Vanessa, anyway. A good portion of the Vanessa characterizations in fanon make me physically violent

#I've seen very little of the Mafia actually being characterized in fanon as good people so thankfully I don't have to bring that up #that's more gfb trying really hard to make me think they're redeemed than the fandom hsdkgjh #The fanon for ahit in general is a bit all over the place because. and I have a big point about this in the rant #Everyone's so subconsciously disappointed or averse to canon that nobody acknowledges it. Which tells you a lot about the actual game #Since this mutual disdain for canon has happened though - whether it's been realized or not - everyone just sort of ran off #in different directions #with various characters and plot points #So trying genuinely to find a grounds in the fandom that you can claim as universal 'fanon' is . more difficult than it seems #Half of us are like ''nobody was redeemed they're all awful people and that should be realized'' #while the other half is ''found family time because the game told me the characters were redeemed'' #and in an ass backwards way both sides are completely right so it's like what do you do here #What I want to see and how I would shape these characters is just based on my personal preferences and ideals #with what little we've been given and what I'm left to work with #and that's just how eeveryone here is. we're all tryin our best with a story we don't want to admit is kinda fucked up /neg #so like. *price is right sad horn sound* #hattytime #ask