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v7n5 · 4 months

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Feel like pure shit, just want a smutty multi-chapter Howard Hamlin fanfic that recounts the many secret sexual affairs that he has had with different people throughout the course of his life, most of which he sought out to recompense for the lack of intimacy in his marriage because both him and Cheryl were iron-closeted and only got married out of familial pressures (things took a turn for the worse after the fight that ended with Howard moving into the guest house). Ultimately, none of them could fulfill his wants and needs because they're all cold and distant in their own ways: there were the handsome strangers he met at some gay bar like Nacho who were emotionally unavailable and only wanted to dick and dash like they're in denial themselves; Jimmy whom he was smitten with and trusted to be able to keep a secret, but it didn't take him long to realize that Jimmy being selfish and cruel and rougher than Howard had liked and not paying any mind to Howard's own pleasure in bed was his way of getting back at him for being a jackass of a boss; Chuck whom he'd got especially close with ever since he was still studying pre-law, so close that he would make up any excuse to be alone with him and suck him off in his office from time to time to seduce his mentor because the daddy issues that had been developing throughout his father-absent youth came to fruition the moment a wiser and older man gave him a sliver of attention, Chuck allowed him to live out his fantasy but never reciprocated in that sense but they remained really good friends, hence Howard's desperation for his approval and affection and the idea of "I still have a chance" kept brewing in his mind even when he could see Rebecca out of the corner of his eye (the incident at the end of ss3 scarred him for life and talking about the intimate details of their relationship before it in therapy did not help). The latter half of 607 didn't happen because he decided that he was in fact the bigger person and the right thing to do was to drink himself into reflecting back on his life choices and wallowing in his own self-pity. Though he didn't storm Mcwexler's condo, the whole ordeal was still his Joker moment, so he put his foot down, got a divorce and resigned from his CEO position because fuck you, he deserves to do that. And maybe after a year or so, he met a certain Salamanca who got out of a certain shoot-out unscathed (haven't determined if Howard happened to stumbled into El Michoacáno or he went back to the gay bar), their chemistry was through the roof, they bonded over the loss of families/ lovers and "being a nepo baby is oh so hard", their romance blossomed because Lalo was textbook definition of charming and exactly Howard's type. One date led to another, and Howard ended up getting the best pipe he'd ever had while trying to hold back the tears stemmed from indescribable emotions. Would Howard find out who Lalo actually was? Would it matter? Would they last? Those are problems for future them.

Like literally that's all I want tbh.

#howard hamlin #He's my girl. My fucking princess.#Idc like he's still rightfully owed a soft dom who's gonna take good care of him and appreciate him #(as much as I feen for power bottom Howard)#The slutification of this middle-aged man HAS to be riddled with angst or else I'll die #1 of the worst things that could ever happen to me is getting ideas that I think are good but cannot for the life of me do anything about it #That and becoming a **** ****** but we're not trauma dumping today #Being a bilingual with an English-leaning brain is not the W that people made it out to be #Honestly Nacho came into the picture when I was deadass half unconscious. I was like 'Ariana what are you doing here???'#But it's hot. And I kinda wanted Nachoward to win a bit #I also wanted to squeeze Gus in there too but in my head it'd be an 'admirer from afar' type of deal. Like Howard would have a crush on him-#-but decided against making a move cuz he would think Gus is out of his league or sth #This is essentially a Howard x everyone who I think could be compatible with him fanfic #For clarification. Cheryl and Howard don't hate each other. if anything they're each other's emotional support system #But I feel like there's only so much pretense you can put up you know #And yes. Lalo and Nacho were in love there.#Ok I've got it all out there now. Time for me to go marinate in shame #nacho varga #jimmy mcgill #chuck mcgill #lalo salamanca #better call saul

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starpros-sunshine · 1 year

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seb. seb bard wataru and secluded noble eichi as their cnstars exclusive cards au

!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes yes yes yes yes Ohhh I can see it I can see it

I'm gonna put this under read more because this could get longer

Wataru as a traveling bard and Eichi is a noble that lives a kind of isolated life dur to his weak constitution and Wataru comes by Eichis castle or mansion or chateau or whatever fancy piece of architecture he occupies and Eichi hears Watarus music and comes to the window and they have a moment of eye contact and initially Wataru doesn't think much of it and travels further after he played a few more pieces for Eichi -because of course if the audience enjoys it then the entertainer shall entertain for that is his job - and so after that little private concert is over he travels further. His eay leads him this small town that's not so far from the fancy piece of architecture, because I like to be a little cliché, and there he hears all sorts of rumours about the mysterious nobles that live in the...I'll just call it a mansion now it's a chateau-adjacent mansion. Any ways those rumours catch his intrigue and he decides to stay in the town a little and he stays at an inn maybe and he pays him rent by playing music for them in the evenings,,,

Oh and maybe this is where he runs into Yuzuru! He's on the street just observing and he sees this elegant and very pretty looking young man and he doesn't look like someone from the town but he also doesn't have the air of an aristocrat about him and he catches some older women gossipping about him and apparently he's a domestic servant of the strange nobles that everyone seems to be a little scared of because they never seem to show their face anywhere.

Maybe he tries to strike up a conversation with Yuzuru or maybe that process repeats multiple times but eventually he decides to snoop around the Mansion a little and maybe he runs into Eichi again,,,

And maybe he gives him a few more private concerts or magic performances I reckon he does those too and the intrigue grows and grows and by now the people in the town know Wataru by name and sometimes he gets free food gifted by them and they're still a little wary of him because he just appeared one day and nobody knows where this strange man with his birds and his heavenly voice came from but he seems to be nice so they come to like him.

And Yuzuru picks up some of the rumours about this strange bard that pays his room at the local inn by playing songs for the patrons in the evenings and sometimes helps out the elderly i the town and he notices he's seen this man before playing music outside of their house so of course he mentions these rumours to Eichi and Tori who in turn are intrigued and a little sceptic respectively.

When Wataru appears the at Eichis balcony the next time Eichi actually initiates a conversation with Wataru and that continues over the next few visits as well and eventually they go from "Bard" and "My Lord" to "Wataru" and "Eichi" or still "My Lord" but this is different though it's the same as when Wataru calls Eichi emperor it's more teasing than a formality you have to imagine a grin in his voice as he says that. Tori and Yuzuru have no idea about most of these visits because half of them are in the middle of the night (I imagine it a little like the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet right right).

And so they grow closer and as the time passes Wataru starts to actually settle a little in the town. The room he was renting at the inn is pretty much actually his room now, he could've moved out but he lives on a good deal and the older couple that runs the inn treat him like their own son now (he doens't even have to do shows every evening anymore, just sometimes a week) and pretty much all of the regulars know him personally now and on a first name basis (nobody actually knows his last name). This is the first time in forever he's stayed at one place for this long and it's all just because he has taken a liking to this feeble-ish blonde aristocrat that looks at him like he hung all the stars in the sky up by himself.

He still only knows Tori by hearsay and Yuzuru just briefly - somehow they never ran into each other when he was there during the day - But Eichi has joked about introducing them properly before.

in my mind there's this one specific image of Eichi and Wataru standing on his Balcony and they are both on opposite sides of the railing and it's the middle of the night and it's chilly so Eichi has his blanket draped over his shoulders because that's the sensible thing to do when it's cold and Wataru is standing on the opposide side of the railing, kind of standing on the edge of it and leaning more over the railing into the space of the balcony where you actually stand on and they are being disgusting in the way that they're flirting and maybe they also kiss a little,,, maybe,,,, because I want them to,,,,

And sweet innocent Yuzuru only hears about things between Eichi and Wataru via the rumour mill when he goes to run errands on the market and hears that the bard from the inn has been seen in the evening multiple times as he's walking the path to the mansion of the nobles nobody really knows. And he hasn't been back until the early hours of the morning. And so Yuzuru tells this to Tori. And they're both too awkward to ask him straight out so whenever they hear Eichi humming a tune while he does... whatever it is rich people do. They just look at each other and the question is in the room but nobody knows how to break it and they come to just. the weirdest conclusions because nobody in this house communicates like a normal person.

And maybe sometimes Eichi sneaks out to visit Wataru in the town (the first time this happened he put on a really big hood and changes his voice a little so it would be harder to recognise and actually caught Wataru off-guard for once). Watarus birds like him too...at least most of them do.

I like to think he once had to explain to Tori why he smells like bird and it was suuuper awkward because there aren't a lot of ways to talk yourself around having to explain that the night before you were basically turned into a pigeon nest and it took you and your bard-kind-of-boyfriend-but-also-not-really-but-you-have-something-going-on-you-just-don't-really-know-what-to-call-it-because-that-topic-has-been-successfully-avoided spent a good 20 minutes trying to get all the feathers out of your hair and clothes. Tori didn't buy his excuse but it made so little sense that he doesn't really think he wants to know either so he choses to live in ignorance for once. (when he does meet Wataru he remembers this and suddenly it all makes sense because Wataru also smells like birds. He choses living in ignorance was good while it lasted.)

After some more time of being acquainted with Wataru Eichi and Tori decide to also show their faces in the town for once and both parties have to warm up to each other and it's a little off for all involved (Wataru and Yuzuru are the only people who actually know both sides personally) but with the time the general unease regarding the secluded nobles ebbs out a little. There's still people who don't like them but it's civil still because they like Yuzuru and while they think Wataru is a bit strange they have come to like him as well and why provoke unneccessary comflict when you can just decide not to interact with those people.

I could talk sooooo much more but I don't think anyone actually wants to read this much or cares for it so I will try to stop now but just. Eichi bringing the traveling bard Wataru to settle down and "tying him down to humanity" by keeping in one place and Ohhhhhhh you can even have something EP:Link-esque in this like. Eichi is convinced Wataru will leave him eventually because he's a free spirit and tying him down would be unfair or impossible or something and Wataru gives him...I dob't know maybe not a mask but his instrument or something maybe a mask works too because he would probably still be a bard the man has to make a living somehow but symbolically the instrument would work better. But yes and he gives that to him and tells him "this is me and I offer this to you" and Eichi still doesn't get it so at their next redezvous it's like. the second part of that converstation where Eichi had to accept that Wataru wanting to stay is the only logical explanation left and he has to accept that and ooooh there's layers to this there is actually layers to this I'm so,,,,,hehehehehe,,,,laughing ecstatically and clapping my hands,,,,

#there could be other characters too in this au #Tsukasa as the neighbouring aristocrat #Keito as the librarian or something I need to figure this out still #Kuro is a seamstress (not the right word but you know what I mean)#Kuro Shu and Mika are the people who sew the clothes for basically this entire town #but it's a small town there's not many people and the clothes get worn until they're unwearable so it works out #this is gonna marinate in my brain for a bit #I love love looove this concept #Natsume the son of the towns fortune teller and he takes to Wataru like a little duck #hehehehehe #thank you mar for putting this thought into my brain ballroom it's so fun #yumefan🎼🌠#I love Wataei every version of them #wataei #Has Yuzuru walked into Eichis room to check on him because he didn't appear at the usual time he wakes up #and maybe he's not doing so well so you should check just in case #and he walks in on Eichi asleep in his mountain of pillows and Wataru next to him also asleep in Eichis mountain of pillows?#He most certainly has.#That's how he found out about the weird singing magic bird man that stole Eichis heart away #maybe #maybe maybe #Märchen au

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