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#but let’s keep it private

shoomlah · 9 months

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any time I post a WIP it's a complete crapshoot as to whether it's gonna 1) totally invigorate my creative process, I'm workin' through the night and I can't be stopped, or 2) result in an inscrutable haze of endorphins that puts me in a contented-but-ultimately-unsatisfying artistic coma

#Anyway I'm not posting a WIP right now because I want the art to be done #please support me in this trying time #thank you to all my mutuals who let me scream about my art in DMs and on private twitter #you keep me sane

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rebelwithoutabroom · 21 hours

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seeing all the discussion abt the gituation and how their friends behaved, i think one of the things that bothers me most about it is how the falling out is so public but the making amends is so private. if someone had the "courage" to be vocal about it on twt or on stream, they should do the same when theyve changed their mind. it feels unfair and fucking spineless to do otherwise

#thats why i appreciate sam so much #some others are on thin ice to me and quite a lot of these ccs are just lost causes #no matter if theyre sorting it out in private idc to keep up with someones content when they clearly dont know how to deal with the #audience theyve been given #bc if they let themselves be bullied by the hate mob then it will happen AGAIN and tbh i am tired of these white usamericans who #bring nothing to the table other than drama

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i-simp-stobotnik · 2 months

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Day 1: Body swap

Wohoo, it's Stobotnik week!

Starting with one of the days that gave me the most trouble. 😅 In my head, if Stone and Robotnik were to switch bodies it would be because of one of Robotnik's inventions, 'cause come on. He's that kinda bitch. Robotnik would spend the day doing soldering and other heavy-lifting kind of work his machine-building requires, since "holy fuck, my back hasn't felt this good in 30 years!!" ... yeah, regular exercise and other healthy life style choices will do that to you.

Stone in Robotnik's body on the other hand... my goodness, that freaky boy. He would, as soon as he could, say that he needed to go to the bathroom, and spend quite some time in there, you know, just looking. Touching him. Touching himself. Because god damn. It's like he's actually getting to touch Robotnik, but at the same time it's like Robotnik is touching Stone and whatever noices he makes are with Robotnik's voice and the bare hands hooo boi. Yes, it's not really consensual, but I don't think Robotnik would exactly ask for Stone's consent for the body swap either so in Stone's head, he'll call it even.

Just FYI, I wanted to go wayyyy raunchier with this image, but I've already had a post banned once so I didn't want to tempt the Tümblr gods again. So have a dreamy Stone-Robotnik just lightly touching himself. xD

#theycomeback #stobotnikweek #stobotnik #agent stone #dr robotnik #dr eggman #jimbotnik #Robotnik as Stone is causing chaos and building up a storm with his healthy back #even though he finds it now annoying to have shorter arms but whatevs he has robots to give him stuff from the higher shelves #Stone on the other hand takes “himself” in his hand and gets freaky with his bosses body in private #let's just say when Robotnik gets his body back his nuts will feel like raisins #he'll file it as a weird side effect and Stone forever keeps his mouth shut #ok imma shaddup bye

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 2 months

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The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot #this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day #where she relayed an argument she had with her partner #who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes #and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see #and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence #when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it #(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post #again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so #also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive #being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire #it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed #she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it #because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them #whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner #in her adult life at least #and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted

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batsarebetterthanpeople · 1 year

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And another thing! Literally any queer story that takes place during the colonial age would have a huge gaping hole in it if it didn't have anticolonialism as a theme. Especially one that centers indigenous people. Like the reason that every culture had their own concepts of gender until something happened and then suddenly the gender binary was ubiquitous is because western European colonial powers made their view of gender the only acceptable one as part of christianizing and colonizing the world. You're not gonna have a show set in 1717 in the Caribbean where the love interest is a gay Maori man and the main deuteragonist is a non-binary mestizo catholic and just skip over colonialism. Like these are exactly the people who western gender roles are being forced on at fucking gun point during this era. Jim and Ed are both mixed race characters who's gender and sexual identities are in active defiance of the colonial powers that be. And this is the fucking Stede Ed and Jim show.

And there's something to be said for the fact that Stede's toxic masculinity plot line is internalized and Ed's struggle with toxic masculinity is largely external in the form a white guy who rubs elbows with the British Navy when Ed doesn't behave to his standard of masculinity. That choice didn't come out of nowhere and it shows a deep understanding of where homophobia comes from. That's not to say that precolonial communities of color were paradise for people that we today would consider queer but the rich tapestry of sexual and gender expressions that existed in those communities were erased in the name of colonialism. That's going to affect literally any queer person at the time when OFMD is set. These two things are inextricably linked.

Like when David Jenkins says a lot of what we're taught about being men is wrong, motherfucker who taught us what a man was. Who taught Ed what a man was? Who taught Stede what a man was for that matter? It's the white dad with the English accent who is violent (derogatory) and overbearing.

Like you get what I'm saying right? Like it's a silly little rom com but also it must necessarily be that deep because of who these characters are and when and where they exist.

#ofmd meta #Our Flag walks the line like a fucking tight rope acrobat and I'm not gonna let fake fans sleep on that #like they depict things aesthetically without actually depicting them sometimes #ill talk about the aesthetics of episode 9 all fucking day #in universe what happens is Ed signs a paper with an x either because hes illiterate or because he doesnt want to sign it #and is resting on the assumption that hes illiterate to get away with not signing it either as longform fuckery or to soften the blow #and he signs it to save his white boyfriend from getting fucking shot #and then he goes to a privateering academy where he does enjoy folding socks and he's liberated from his black beard and hes cool with that #everything is more or less his choice which makes it palatable and doesnt completely take the tone somewhere dark and harrowing #BUT ALSO what were seeing is the British Military forcing an indigenous man to sign a document and he does so with an x #and then taking him to a secondary fucking school ass school away from his community where hes forced to change his appearance #but also they let him keep his hair so that they dont step on that particular trauma #im vibrating what the fuck is this show #how do they do it?#Like seriously this has been a comedy show?????#And don't tell me I'm reading into it too much episode 2 primes us to think about colonialism

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lil-shiro · 8 months

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Let’s not share any pics anyone may have found of Yuki and his gf, apparently he changed seats after the camera got them, so let’s respect his wishes 🙂

#I didn’t see nothing yuki #he clearly wants to be private so let’s keep it that way #yuki tsunoda

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oobbbear · 10 months

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That Tattoo shop Coffee shop au I mentioned earlier is going to be so self indulgent and so much fluff because just because

#bearz rambling tag #Hi people #I found a decent wifi #it actually let me open stuff #also I’m talking without context here bc I privated the previous post #don’t mind me just keep scrolling

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