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#whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner
wavesoutbeingtossed · 2 months
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The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.
We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.
@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)
If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.
(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)
We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.
Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.
By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.
But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)
One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)
With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.
To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)
At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.
TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.
I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.
#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot#this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day#where she relayed an argument she had with her partner#who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes#and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see#and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence#when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it#(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post#again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so#also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive#being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire#it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed#she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it#because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them#whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner#in her adult life at least#and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted
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thewertsearch · 2 years
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Looks like we're starting with a Hussie interlude. I think I've seen that horse painting somewhere before...
You really wish your side of the wall had an off switch. Which is to say, I really wish my side of the wall had an off switch.
Early on, I wondered about who the default black-on-grey narration text was, but Hussie was always the default option. Kinda weird to see that text using the ‘I’ pronoun. 
Ok. You're just going to ask me to recap Homestuck though. [...] 
Excellent. We’re definitely due one, and I’m sure there’s one or two things I missed along the way. 
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Wow ok, I didn’t miss much, but this recap actually gives us some new stuff. Quite a lot, actually!
It’s unambiguously confirmed that Nannasprite does have her living self’s memories. Nanna has been truly resurrected, albeit with some personality changes. She might still open up about her actual past, if we can circumvent her Sprite programming somehow. 
Rose is stated to have prototyped Jaspers specifically to understand his Secret, but I have a hunch that that was only part of her motivation. 
Becquerel is explicitly described as omnipotent, a word which I’m starting to think this comic likes to misuse. The Horrorterrors are supposed to be omnipotent too, and all else aside, you can’t have multiple omnipotent entities in a setting. <humanSarcasm> Wait, is Bec a Horrorterror? <humanSarcasm> 
Jade’s ‘spontaneous’ narcolepsy is highlighted again. Will the other kids have the same problems when they awaken their dreamselves? Seems a little unsporting of the game, considering it’s putting them into life-or-death struggles. I hope the Underlings will wait politely for them to wake up. 
We get a new map of the Incipisphere (although the quality of the homestuck.com version is ass). It’s nice, because it saves me having to redo the map like I was planning to.
The White Queen did indeed self-exile. She knew Prospit was screwed, and I guess she wanted to go out on her own terms. Plus, it seems she still has a plan. 
Speaking of the Queen, it seems she crowned PM because (chess pun aside) she actually did manage to get that package to John in the end. Since Jack’s got it now, I think PM will have to fight him for it. As the current bearer of Prospit’s Ring, she might actually have a shot here.
The trolls have completed their session, as has been implied. My question remains - has the Mistake tripped them over at the last hurdle, or has Sburb itself forsaken them?
Hussie points out that CG has Slick as an Exile, whereas in the kids’ session, he isn’t an Exile at all. The Exiles, like the titles and entry items, are variable. 
The city that the Midnight Crew built is real - and now makes perfect sense, since we know that the Exiles are designed to rebuild civilization. 
Something I did miss was that the time capsule which contained Dave’s Sburb discs was running for millions of years - it was probably there since the Temple first arrived. Since the Temple came from a meteor, and the meteors came from the Veil, I think we can finally hazard a guess as to how those discs got there. 
Jack’s new title is Jackspers Noirlecrow, which is hilarious but I’m still going with Semi-Perfect Jack. 
And, oh yeah. 
In response to her question about his secret, [Jaspers] simply replied "Meow." She mistook this for more nonsense, but it was in fact the secret he told her years ago. The four letter sequence MEOW unlocked a genetic code in her subconscious, which she would spend years scrawling on her wall[...]
Jaspers’ infamous secret was fucking MEOW!  This is the greatest comic ever written. 
But, after losing my mind over this, I started to wonder... why does Rose’s mind contain a genetic code in the first place? John’s scrawlings relate in some way to his father’s love of clowns, so maybe Rose’s relate to her mother’s love of biology. Did Rose see more of Mom’s experiments than we thought?
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one-systems-journey · 2 years
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Thursday 13th October 2022
Haven’t been posting due to not having therapy. Psych had covid in June & she’s gotten every single fragment of a virus that’s crossed her path since. But we were back this week, so that’s good.
Prior to her time off, we did speak about how difficult EMDR processing was just because of different parts holding different memories or parts of memories. How hard it is for me to actually feel the pain of trauma sometimes because we’re so detached. But also every time I try to look inwards, I’m just flooded by the overall awful emotions. I don’t know if it’s the trauma we’re trying to work on, just the whole lifetime of trauma bubbling away under the surface or just a shitty mood. Unless I’m actively triggered, it’s hard to tell the difference. They’re all just as awful as each other.
So, we’re going to try not to focus on the SUDS (subjective unit of distress) before beginning processing & just go off if the distress is increasing or decreasing. We’re also going to do some of the schema therapy rescripting. Just see if it makes any difference. Apparently early evidence is saying it can be as effective as EMDR. Of course more research needs to be done, but might as well give it a go as we haven’t seen much change with EMDR.
I’m not sure we’re all on board because it feels like it’s just making up stories. ‘That didn’t really happen in the trauma memory, so why would it change my perception of the trauma’. But we just want to give it a go anyways.
We tried that today. Just briefly. We started to dissociate after a bit. Things started to change colour & we felt spacey, which is usually the last stage before we can’t pull ourselves back from it. So, we stopped & will hopefully try again next week.
We also spoke again about trying someone else. We just haven’t got anywhere in so long, we really need to try something else. So, I’m going to see a college of hers from her old clinic. They both left aliens the same time, my psych to open her own clinic & this other to go to work for a trauma specific clinic locally. She started the intensive trauma work training around the same time as my psych, but she’s gone on to become fully qualify in it, & is now working on becoming accredited to teach it. Whereas my psych is still completing her full qualification. This new psych has also agreed to allowing me to stay with my current psych for as long as I need. The last person we looked into didn’t want me to do that. She’s also already helped someone to the point of not meeting criteria for DID. Whereas my psych hasn’t got that far with someone, I was her first DID client (not her only one now, but the others are apparently a lot earlier in their therapy journey as a whole). The only down side is it’ll be feb when I can meet her. But I guess with the general limited availability of psychologists & psychiatrists at the moment, for such a specialised one, it’s not too bad. The other thing with this psych is apparently her father is a very well known psychiatrist in the realm of DID. So, she had a head start on her learning. Fingers crossed this works out & it makes progress. I’be been struggling a crazy amount in the past few months & it’s really disheartening to put in so much work with therapy & not get anywhere.
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weaselbrownie · 3 years
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i was wondering if u could do one where draco fingers the reader under a blanket but like with people around
dw if u dont wanna write this ;)
underneath | d.m
draco malfoy x fem!reader
summary : draco fingering you while there are people around
warning : NSFW! smut, swearing, praising, voyeurism (?), female receiving
word count : 2.6K
a/n : this was messy :(
MASTERLIST
It was the last night of winter break, tucked away in the screening room of the Malfoy Manor sat you, Draco, Pansy, Theo, and Blaise. It has always been a tradition to spend winter breaks at the Malfoy Manor. With Mr. Malfoy away, Mrs. Malfoy has always found it quiet to spend Christmas with her only son, and so she insisted that he brings his friends to stay over during the break.
"So no horror?" Pansy asked as she went through the DVD display,
"We're not watching a horror movie just for you to crawl into our beds at night," Blaise answered, walking around the room as he made red sparks from the tip of his wand, waiting for Pansy to pick a movie.
"Zip it Zabini it was one time" She huffed before turning back to search for other movies, blabbing about how Blaise is being an ass for not letting them watch a horror movie.
You, Draco, and Theo walked into the half-lit room, greeted by Blaise who jumped off the couch to snatch the snacks off of Theo and the blankets off Draco before walking back to the spot of the couch to wrap himself in a little blanket cocoon.
"Y/N! Look at this, can we wat–"
"No Pansy, we will not watch Poltergeist because once we're back at school you won't be able to crawl into Blase's bed and you'll end up crawling into mine" You crossed both your arms over your chest, your brows lifting like a mother scolding her child.
"Ugh, you're no fun" She rolled her eyes before going back to the stack of DVDs.
Theo left to help Pansy pick out a movie, leaving you and Draco by the big doorway. You felt his hand slithering up your back, taking hold of your waist to spin you around– facing him. You looked up to see his bright orbs staring down at you, the corner of his lips lifting into a small smile "So... back at school tomorrow huh?" He said pulling you closer until your chest met his,
"I guess..." You smiled at him, your hand coming up to glide over his covered bicep and to the back of his neck, locking them there to hold onto him. "...just a few more months and we're done with this" Your voice quietened, just above a whisper as your face neared his.
"I know pretty girl" Draco closed the space in between, letting his lips devour yours as he held on to you, gripping your hips to bring you closer to him. It was nothing new, your lips moving with his as if it was a rehearsed choreography, chasing one another in the dark room.
"Aight enough, we're watching a movie, not porn" A deep voice called out from behind. You let go of Draco and turned your head to see Theo crossing his arms in front of his chest, huffing as he smirked, tending his weight on one leg.
"Well if that is your idea of porn, that's pretty sad mate" A higher-pitched voice chimed into the conversation. Theo's smirk completely dropped as he swung to look at Pansy standing behind him, stifling her laugh as did the rest of the group.
You poked your tongue out to him, laughing as you made your way to sit on the couch with Blaise who was already munching on the snacks. "Alright, now can we watch the movie?" Blaise asked, opening another pack of chips to pass around the room.
Everyone nodded in response, moving around the room to find a comfortable space to sit. Theo and Pansy took the carpet as they always do, building pillow forts for themselves so they can slouch as they watch the movie. You got up from the couch to grab some blanket off the floor before walking back to your spot just to see Draco sitting there comfortably.
Leaning back onto the couch and stretching his arms out to the sides as he spreads his long legs. You didn't mean to stammer but your eyes widened at his sight, Draco fucking Malfoy looking so good without having to do quite literally anything.
He knew you were looking, licking his lips before giving you a sly smirk. "C'mon" he mouthed, patting the spot on between his legs for you to occupy. This happens regularly, you sitting on his lap or the spot in between, so there shouldn't be any reason why you should be nervous... right?
You slowly moved towards him, smiling under your bright red cheeks before sitting in front of him. Draco's arms wrapped around you almost instantaneously, the strong scent of peppermint and citrus dancing its way to the back of your head. The light in the room went out as the big screen lit up, playing the opening of the movie Pansy picked.
You shuffled in his arms as you adjusted yourself and the blanket on top of you, moving left and right trying to get rid of a specific discomfort right on your lower back. "Draco..." You whispered as you turned around in your spot– facing him. "...why are your pockets always full?" You crossed your arms in front of you, glancing to the side to make sure Blaise is paying attention to the movie.
"What?" Draco's brows furrowed as confusion took over him,
"Your pockets" You gestured down to the pockets of his grey sweats, your brows lifting, waiting for an answer. Draco looked at you as if you grew horns, biting his pink lips as he tries to understand what you are insinuating.
All of a sudden the corner of his lips lifted, forming a devilish smirk as his cold lengthy fingers traced your hips. "My pockets are empty, darling" He muttered, bending down to meet you face to face.
It was your turn to look confused, you weren't imagining it, you definitely felt something on your lower back earlier, "If it's empty, then what wa-" You cut yourself off mid-sentence, gasping as you felt the air in your lungs disappear, the realization washing over you.
Draco didn't move, his eyes gazing at your lips as your face began to heat up. You felt the warmth of his hands leaving your hips before feeling them again on the side of your face, cupping it slightly to pull you in for a brief kiss. You met his lips once again for a swift kiss before he pulled away, turning you to face the screen.
"Watch the movie, who knows... maybe something will happen that'll surprise you" His lips lingered on the shell of your ear as his arms returned to wrap over you. You still felt it, his hard-on poking you from behind but you brushed it off as he gave you a reassuring kiss on the side of your head and his fingers laced with yours under the blanket.
It was halfway through the movie when you felt his hand leaving yours, you didn't give it a second thought but it seems like his hand is sliding lower and lower until it came in contact directly in front of your heat– teasing you, knowing how much you crave for this right now.
It's wrong to do anything, your friends are in the room and not to mention next to you, but again you were covered with the blanket and it seems like they're focused on the movie. You seem to be in a battle with your thought, wanting to push Draco's hand away but you didn't have the stomachs to do so.
He picked up on this, bobbing his head to the side to see you staring off into the screen but not grasping anything that's thrown at you. "Can you be a good girl and keep quiet?" His breath hot, lingering on your ear as it sent goosebumps down your spine.
You slowly nodded, keeping your vision straight before you felt his warm hand slither past the band of your pants, resting them on your covered cunt. You kept quiet, not moving from your previous position as he continued his actions.
You felt him again, his middle and ring finger pressing into your clit as he drew slow circles through the material. "Seems like you're ready hm?" He murmured into your hair, feeling the wetness of your cunt through your underwear.
Your wet lips rolled in between your teeth, biting down on them to make sure nothing slips past, but he wasn't making it easy. By now he was rubbing rougher circles on you, pressing into your engorged clit as you tried to keep still.
His fingers continued their actions, moving to the base of your underwear to pull them aside, exposing your sopping cunt to him. "Stay still..." He whispered, his fingers leaving the piece of fabric to trace the outer lips of your cunt. "...I mean it" His fingers smeared the wetness around, making a mess inside your pants– more than it already was.
You slowly turned your head to the side, from another point of view Draco looks as if he was just cuddling you, wrapping you in his warm embrace as he enjoys a good movie. Whereas in reality, his fingers worked you, rubbing you in ways he knows you love.
"Watch the movie darling" He murmured, not breaking the eye contact he had with the big white screen in front of you. You turned your head back, leaning back onto him as you gripped his knee for support.
Draco used his middle finger to draw circles directly on your clit, the wetness of your arousal helping his finger glide easily. The warm and sharp feeling of pleasure started to build at the pit of your stomach, Draco drawing them out gently.
He continued his actions, rubbing until the grip you had on his knee tightens, signaling you were close. It was harder to keep your mouth shut, your chest slightly heaving up and down as you closed your eyes, getting ready for the pleasure to wash over you. It was right around the corner, your orgasm building stronger and stronger as Draco's fingers brushed fast circles on your clit, and before you know it,
"Y/N are you okay?" A voice pulled you out of the headspace you were in. Your eyes shot open and your head snapped to the source of the voice. Blaise sat next to you, his arms over his chest as he tilted his head to the side. His brows furrowed, trying to figure out whether you were alright or not.
Draco's fingers came to a halt as soon as he heard Blaise's voice, dropping the feeling of an orgasm that was about to hit. His head too turned to the source of the voice next to him. "You okay darling?" Draco asked dumbfoundedly, smirking as if he didn't just rub you in the same room as your friends.
Your mouth fell open, wanting to respond to a hundred different things at once yet none actually came out. "U-Um... yeah I–" You stuttered, your eyes wide open when you felt Draco's fingers leaving your clit to move down to your clenching hole. "...Fuck" You muttered to yourself when you felt him slipping his middle finger into you.
"You don't look so well" Blaise continued, reaching his hand out to place the back of his palm to your forehead. "You're a little warm Y/N, you sure you're ok?" His palm left your forehead to place itself on your cheeks.
You brushed it off, dodging his palm as you gave his hand a small smack. "I'm fine Zabini, don't worry about... i-it" Draco slipped another finger into you, driving it deep into your sopping cunt as you tried to hide the emotions on your face.
"Well, if you say so" Blaise shrugged, though he knows something is going on he quickly brushed it off, leaning back onto his end of the couch to shift his attention back to the movie.
You turned your head back as Blaise did, trying not to squirm as Draco drives his fingers into you, building your orgasm once again. You leaned back onto him as the both of you tried to move as little as possible.
"Good job angel" Draco whispered into your ear, his lips lacing with your cheeks as he gave your flushed face a small peck. His fingers started to drive into you faster, curling the ends of his digit to hit that spongey spot deep inside you at every thrust.
Your walls tightened around him, clenching unevenly as the tingling feeling returned to the pit of your stomach. "Dray..." You whispered to him, slurring out his name into a whine as it left your lips. The grip you have on his knee tightening, telling him you are close.
Draco's fingers slowed for a second, readjusting themselves as he rested the rough pad of his thumb on your clit, drawing circles as his other digits thrust inside you. Your breath started to become heavy again, his fingers working out a rhythm inside you.
"You wanna cum?" He asked, his lips lingering on the shell of your ear once again. You nodded slowly, not having the stomach to answer him– afraid to let out a moan for the entire room to hear.
You could barely hold it back, the euphoric feeling just behind his fingertips as he continued torturing you– making you wait for his instructions to cum. Your back arched slightly, lifting off his chest as you wriggled under his tender touch.
Tears started to gather at your waterline, immersing your sight as you tried holding back your upcoming high. Draco continued his actions, ramming his slender digits into you– making you feel all your emotions at once. "You wanna show me how me how you cum on my fingers angel?... go on" His soothing voice rung to the back of your head, permitting you to finally let go.
Your eyes fluttered close with his command, letting go of your high as the shiny gold stars danced on your vision, taking up the dark space. You wanted to moan out his name, show him how good he's been making you feel, but all you could do was bite your lips in silence, making sure to not let a single sound slip past your lips.
"There we go" His fingers slowed down, pulling you back to reality as you tried to catch your breath, your chest heaving up and down as he continued to run circles on your clit. "Good job angel" He continued, his whispers shooting butterflies through your body.
You leaned back onto Draco, letting him wrap his free arm around you as he stopped the movement on your sopping cunt, giving your clit a tap before placing your underwear back into place. You watched as his hand comes up from the blanket, moving slowly until he reached his mouth, letting his arousal-covered fingers slip past his lips– sucking them dry.
You watched him, wide eyes as he removed the blanket that covers the both of you, "Y/N isn't feeling too well, I'm gonna bring her up to bed" Draco announced to the group as he moved you in your spot, throwing your legs over his to pick you up bridal style.
"See, I knew it!" Blaise called out as Draco fumbles on the couch, readjusting the blanket to cover you again.
"Are you alright?" Pansy asked as she got up from her pillow fort in front of you, Theo following her movement as his face washed over in a confused manner. You hummed in response, your breath still slightly heavy as Draco got up from the couch, lifting you with his as if you weight nothing. The edge of Draco's lips lift up at Pansy's question, flashing his sly smirk to the confused and worried group,
"She'll be fine... I'll take care of her"
TAGLIST : @microwavedhampster @whenuwereyoung @o-rion-sta-r @willowmores @youreso-golden @mzmalice3 @desiredmalfoy @hyuckiesgf @yiamalfoy @acciodignity
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finelinevogue · 3 years
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Obsessed with your imagines you so when they have 3 kids and they’re all older! What about one where Harry has to have a sex talk with his kids OR y/n and Harry come home to find their kids throwing a party? I think both could be super funny
this has me excited cause i love the idea of them throwing a party when y/n and harry are at date night!! (does contain smut)
oli - 21, felix - 19, belle - 16
“We’re so fucking screwed.”
“Belle, for the millionth time, chill the fuck out.”
But how the fuck was anyone supposed to be chill when there was a full-on house party, close to being a rave, occurring in their house? A house that was their mum’s life work. A house party that their parents new nothing about. A night where absolutely anything and everything could go wrong.
The three siblings stood at the bottom of the stairs, in front of the door, looking around at the scenes occurring between each room. There were girls whispering to each other on the sofas, there was a group of guys playing beer pong in the kitchen and there was a large group of people hanging around by the pool and some even taking a dip. What had meant to be a low-key party had managed to turn into the whole neighbourhood plus the next town over. It was completely overboard.
“Who’s idea was this again?” Belle asked, clearly not understanding the full reasoning behind a full fledged party in their house.
“All of ours.” Oli responded, when in reality it was really just his, and a bit of Felix, idea.
“Nope. I’m not getting grounded because you two dickheads wanted to be rebels.” Belle put her hands up as if to stop this whole situation. She did not want to be a part of this and yet had somehow got screwed up with it all.
“So what are you going to do?” Felix asked.
“Anywhere where this doesn’t have my name stamped all over it.” Belle gestured around her, all of them groaning when they heard something smash from a nearby room. They were actually going to be locked up forever after this.
“Belle, mum and dad are out for the night. Dad said he booked a hotel for them to stay over at, so they won’t even be back until tomorrow morning.” Oli explained, trying to calm down his very nervous sister.
“Yeah, plus if you’re so insistent on leaving why did you get so dressed up?” Felix did have a point. Belle had gone through the effort tonight to be looking as best she could. She was sporting a little black dress with black fishnet tights and her trusty Doc Martens. It was a very colourful outfit, as she would explain. Belle had even gone to the effort of adding glue-on gems to her makeup. Whereas her brothers were just wearing sweaters and trousers and trainers. Typical teenage boys.
“I’ll bet that’s why.” Oli nodded behind Belle and smirked as he watched his little sister turn around.
Megan Dover. Belle’s high school crush and cleverest person in the year. Felix and Oli caught Belle blush when their little sister looked at Megan, waving to her cutely. Belle was a lot more introverted than Megan, but Belle didn’t mind. She admired that Megan was so outspoken and kind and smart, but too bad they didn’t truly know of Belle’s existence. At least, not really.
“Alright fine, i’ll stay, but just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Belle rolled her eyes and then walked off in the direction of the kitchen - if she was ever going to speak to Megan she’d need at least 4 shots in her system.
“Be safe little B.” Oli waved her off and then the two brothers looked at each other knowingly. “Is Heather here?”
“Not yet no, think she’s coming with the girls in a bit.” Felix checked his phone as his brother questioned him. “What about Bea?”
“She’s upstairs.”
“Why? I thought we weren’t allowing anyone upstairs?”
“Dude she’s my girlfriend, I think she gets a pass.” Oli patted his brothers back and then saunters up the stairs two at a time to go and find his girlfriend and reintroduce her to the party.
Another smash of something glass sounding came from the kitchen, along with a turn of screams and mumbles of oops.
“Fuck, we are so screwed.” Felix muttered under his breath as he made his way to the kitchen to clean up whatever was now broken.
••••
Meanwhile, you and Harry were basking in each other’s presence at a fancy new restaurant downtown called Caste Inn.
Harry decided it was time for you to have a treat and so was taking you out for dinner and then retreating to a fancy hotel, where he would not let you rest for the whole night. He was already being really handsy this evening, but you kept swatting his prying hands away because you were in public.
“Babe, c’mon i’m dying here!” He whined as you swatted his hand away from the skirt of your dress for the fifth time since mains. You were lucky you were in a crescent shaped booth so it was hard for anyone to see what was going on underneath the table, but you still felt so exposed.
“Quit it Harry.” You sniped, returning your attention back to the desserts menu. The restaurant was that kind of place where the portions are sparrow sized and yet cost you as much as it would to donate a kidney, so there was no surprise that you were still hungry and had room for dessert.
“Just wanna love on my wife.” He pouted next to you, keeping his arm slunk around the back of the booth to continue to caress your far shoulder delicately.
“We’re in the middle of a restaurant, you’re crazy.” You snickered, trying your hardest to focus on the desserts; Tiramisu, Chocolate Orange Gateau, Pecan Pie, Creme Brulé and an endless list of more mouthwatering yumminess.
“Fucking crazy for you, yes.” He kissed your cheek once, twice and then bit it too on the third, making you moan slightly at the exposure of it all. “You used to let me do this kind of thing all the time, what happened hey?”
“I got old.” You laughed, but really you felt saddened by the thought of it. You were approaching your forties and you felt as though time wasn’t on your side anymore. Life was all flying by so fast and it was becoming so hard to stop it for a moment to see how beautiful it all is. Harry could tell you were faking your happiness in that moment and he hated that you felt this way. He loved you. He would worship the ground you walk upon. Nothing would ever be too much of an ask for him if it meant keeping your happy. Yes, you were getting older, but it didn’t mean that was a bad thing. At least you were getting older together and becoming maturer together.
“Talk to me, love.” He gently asked, knowing there was something on your mind that was bothering you.
“I just… I just feel like i’m getting older—”
“You are love, yes.” He interrupted you, which earned him a slap to the thigh. He didn’t let your hand go though, leaving it to rest on his tight thigh.
“And then suddenly that’s going to be it. No more Y/N.”
“Don’t say things like that to me, please love.” Harry shook his head, squeezing your hand a little tighter.
“And I feel like i’ll have regretted not doing so many things. Like I won’t have lived my life.”
“Things like?”
“Things like riding a motorcycle with you. Things like staying up all night with a bottle of wine and a good bit of Elvis. Reckless things, like skinny dipping or crashing a high school party. Things like, having my husband finger fuck me in a public restaurant. I remember when everything seemed so free and chaotic and I loved it. Now I feel stuck.”
“Stuck how, love?” Harry leaned in closer to you, his eyes full of love and determination because if that’s what you wanted he could give you all those things - especially the orgasm.
“I’m a mum, H. You’re a dad. We’re parents,m. Good ones at that. Aren’t we supposed to be grown up and responsible now? We don’t get to take risks anymore, because we have a family right? God, I sound so pathetic.” You sighed and put the menu down, not thinking about which pudding you wanted to fill yourself up with anymore.
“Babe. If you want to ride a motorcycle and go skinny dipping then let’s fucking do it. Why are you so afraid to hold back? Because we have kids, because darling believe me when I tell you - however much it disturbs me - our kids are out doing just as many reckless and crazy things as we used to do. Maybe we should fuck the prestigious system and show our children, all parents - including us - that adulthood, parenthood, doesn’t define the choices you make. We do.”
You couldn’t stop looking at your husband, drinking in every last drop of his beauty. His words filled your heart with rose petals and chocolates, warming you up delightfully. God, you were so lucky to have him. He helped you through the most toughest of times and continued to stick with you, not because a ring says he has to, but because he loves you. Undeniably and irrevocably loves you.
That was all it took for you to comply.
Quickly, you moved one of your legs under the table cloth so it draped over Harry’s thighs and made an opening between your legs. The cloth hid everything well, along with the dirty napkins that sat upon your laps.
“Wh- what are you doing love?” Harry asked confused, after not hearing a word back from you for his earlier speech.
“Harry I love you, I do, but will you just shut up and fuck my pussy with your fingers already.” You whispered wetly against his ear with your lips. He groaned at the words and tightened his grip around your leg, widening the gap he had to work with.
His hand slid underneath your dress slowly, squeezing the flesh of your thighs in tease, until he got to where your panties were. Or at least where they should be.
“Shit, you’re not wearing any pants?” Harry asked quizzically, pushing his fingers against your glistening pussy and feeling just how ready you were for him.
“Oh fuck!” You muffled out before Harry quickly slapped your slit because you were making too much noise, which only then made you squeal a bit more. He slapped your cunt hard enough the second time for you to get the memo that you needed to be quiet - but fuck was that a challenge. As much as you can be quiet, you just don’t like to be. You like knowing that your moans and whines turn Harry in even more, just as much as you love hearing his.
“Fucking hell, soaked already.” His fingers toyed with the folds of your cunt, feeling how puffy they were between his ringed fingers. “Gotta be quiet for me okay?” Just as he started pushing his delicious fingers inside of you, the waiter turned up at the table with a cheery face and not a bouncing clue what was happening between the two of you.
“Desserts?” He asked politely with his charming smile, but you didn’t see it for too long before having to close your eyes shut at the sudden movement of Harrys fingers. He wasn’t stopping on the waiters behalf, in fact he was more forcefully going for it. He moved his fingers in circles inside of you, thumbing over your clit in the way he knew you desired most. He was insatiable.
Reckless.
“No, just the bill please. Need to take my wife home to take care of some things.” Harry spoke for you both, not understanding why he was being so open with the amount of information he was giving away. But fucking hell you didn’t care because his fingers were providing you pleasures beyond reason.
“Yes Sir. I’ll only be two minutes.” He smiled again before he was gone, taking the menus with him.
“Here that baby?” Harry whispered into your ear, moving his fingers more freely now there was less of an audience, “you’ve got two minutes to cum.”
“Wha—”
Questioning his authority would have to wait, for Harry got to work very quickly and perfectly. His fingers slicked in and out of you so erotically and if it wasn’t for the live music and loud chatter of the room, the sounds of his fingers driving in and out of you would be heard by everyone. His fingers curled to all the right places, touching the most sensitive parts of your walls and hell did it feel blissful.
“I’d say you’ve got about a minute left baby, and I think you can cum for me before then. Can’t you? Or am I not good enough for that kind of release anymore?” Harry taunted you and pressed wet kisses to your ear. You were too lost in euphoric paradise to notice, or even care, whether anyone could see or was watching you both. You were too focused on your husband. Your Harry.
“N-no. I can cum. You’re so good - shit - so g-good.” You stammered out, breathless from the air stolen from your lungs because of this erotic moment. This was so bad behaved of you both that you were starting to get a high off of it.
“Cum for me then baby. Do it. I’ve got you.” He kissed your lips to capture the moan that trailed off your tongue as you reached your high. You felt so high and yet so safe. Harry steadied you as your legs shook and kissed you senseless, to quieten your whines. He admired that you had been so willing for this and he would be lying if he said he didn’t have a raging hard-on right now.
“I love you,” you raced out quickly, “I love you.”
“I love you, Y/N.” He kissed your lips again and withdrew his fingers from your dripping cunt. You picked up a napkin but he quite quickly took it away from you, throwing it to the other side of the table.
“What are you doing?” You whisper shouted, needing to clean yourself up.
“More like what are you doing?”
“Cleaning my mess.” You said frustratedly.
“Leave that to me.” He spoke whilst holding intense eye contact with you, bringing his fingers that were coated in your arousal to his lips and sucking them dry. Every last drop worked its way into his mouth and he salivated at the taste - the smell.
“Harry—”
“The bill Sir.” The waiter interrupted you without knowing. Harry took out his wallet and used his card on the card machine, before signing his name on the cheque as if to affirm that he has paid.
“Thank you.” Harry spoke kindly, completely different to how he was with you all but two minutes ago.
“Thank you Sir, Ma’am. Have a lovely rest of your evening.” And he wad gone again with his smile.
Harry turned to you with the largest grin on his face, “Oh we will.”
••••
“Oli stop eating the leftover lasagne it’s for mums lunch!”
Belle was rushing around trying to chill everything down. The party was so out of control that even Oli and Felix were wasted. Megan was blowing hot and cold with her too, so she had no idea where she stood with them.
People were everywhere. Too many people that it was becoming claustrophobic. Felix was currently playing beer pong with a group of his friends, Heather attached at his hip, whilst Oli was sitting on the kitchen countertop eating cold lasagne. The boy was like chuffing Garfield. Belle was doing her best to keep calm, but as the night progressed it started to become worse and worse as it got harder to control.
As Belle turned to leave the kitchen, her brother clearly not listening to her, she bumped into someone. Kyle. Fucking Kyle. The guy who had obsessed over her to the point where Harry was seriously considering getting a restraining order on him to protect his daughter. He was a straight A creep and Belle hadn’t even realised he’d been invited to this party. Then again, over half of these people had most definitely not been invited.
“Oh hey Isabelle.” He stressed her whole name, knowing how much she hated it. Well, she didn’t hate her name she just hated him saying her name.
“Go away Kyle.”
“But I just got here.”
“And now you can just leave. Party’s ending anyways.” Belle stood her ground, but her hands were shaking from being even remotely close to this guy. He was disgusting to the point where if you were stuck between having to choose between being with him or eating mouldy cheese, you’d eat the cheese on a fucking silver platter.
“Looks quite alive to me.”
“Well i’m shutting it down and you’re going to leave. Now.”
“You need to liven up Belle.” Kyle chuckled through his nose, making him look scary as he towered over Belle, “let me help you.” He leaned forwards to grab her arm but she was quick to push him away.
“No! Leave me alone!” Belle shouted, trying to dodge around him but he was quicker. He grabbed her arm tight and pulled her back to him, chest touching chest. “Get off me Kyle.” Belle squirmed in his hold, which only made Kyle happier - the creep.
“C’mon Bella, live a little.”
“My name’s not Bella and I told you to get the fuck off of me.” Belle pulled back with all her might, whilst kicking him square in the balls - probably hard enough so he’ll never be able to have children - and then drove her knee up to crack his nose - successfully. Damn, that felt good. Heavily badass, actually.
“You fucking psycho!” Kyle held his nose and his balls in pain, straightening himself up as if to launch himself with fury at Belle. Luckily for her the outburst between the pair had caught attention of people - including Oli and Felix.
Oli was quick to step in front of Kyle, Felix just behind him. “You dare lay a fucking finger on my sister and I swear to you you’ll regret it.” Oli threatened, fists curled tight at his sides.
Heather came to hug Belle, comforting as she cried through the after shock of the situation. She’d been so brave and handled herself so well though. “You okay?” She kindly asked.
“Y-yeah.” No.
Everyone was now watching. The music had been muted to the point where you could tell it was playing but you couldn’t tell which song it was. Friends of Oli and Felix were standing close by in case things got messy, which normally only happened between the two brothers and not this way. Doors could be heard opening and shutting as people came in and out from places to watch the debacle occur between the hosts of the party and the unwelcome visitor. Oli and Felix knew they had to be careful though, because one wrong video and it could badly effect their dad’s career. Belle shook in Heathers arms and wished this nightmare of an evening to be over.
“Oh the whore’s not worth it anyways.” Kyle laughed, rolling his eyes as he pointed towards Belle.
“The fuck did you just call my daughter?”
Oh fucking shit balls.
“Dad?” Belle asked warily, seeing his dad stood in the doorway of the front door, her mum standing close behind him with her hand tightly clutched to his. As much as Belle was terrified that her parents had busted them, she also felt safe in their presence.
“Oh and here comes perfect-dad-of-the-year Harry Styles to the rescue.” Kyle teased which made Felix move forward in protest of his words.
“Fix.” Harry sternly called his name, making his son stop and look towards his dad who was shaking his head with a soft smile. Harry walked over towards Belle first, you still clutched tightly to him. “You alright?” He asked sincerely, not looking cross or disappointed at all. Belle nodded quickly and kept her head pressed to Heather’s chest. Harry turned to see his boys, raising his eyebrows to wordlessly ask them the same question to which they nodded too.
Harry dropped your hand, leaving you to stand with your sons, and left your forehead with a kiss before making his way to Kyle. “You okay boys?” You asked again, even though you knew Harry just asked.
“Yeah. Are you mum?” Oli asked, coming to wrap his arm around his mums neck to comfort her. He was so kind and thoughtful, just like his dad.
“Listen up, Kyle.” Harry started, keeping a good distance between him and the boy, “If you ever come near my family again i’m ordering a restraining order. That’s not a threat, it’s a promise. If you break that order you’ll be going to jail. Big league jail too. Again not a threat, a promise. So you’re going to leave my house, this property in its’ entirety and go home to sit in your room and think about whether you would prefer to be in a prison cell instead. Do you understand?”
Okay, you’d be lying if you said his authority didn’t turn you on.
“Y-yeah.” Kyle mumbled pathetically.
“I said do you understand?” Harry repeated again, clearly not satisfied with the answer given.
“Yes Mr Styles.” Kyle said more surely, before scramming from the house, from the party and from the neighbourhood.
“Now everyone out of my house before I call the police.” Everyone knew how that was not an empty threat and dashed out of his house. Some looked at him in awe, because this was probably their once and only chance of being in the presence of the Harry Styles. He sighed as he walked to the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen counter to think.
“Should we—” Belle started to talk but you cut her off.
“No, hunny. Let me go talk to your dad. You lot,” referring to your children and girlfriends who’d kindly stayed behind in support, “can go fetch some bin liners and start cleaning this all up.” You pointed around to the mess that was your house, before walking off to the kitchen.
You looked around at the mess. A broken vase. Litter everywhere. Half-drunken drinks left on the table. Bottle openers you definitely didn’t own before tonight. Trousers? You couldn’t help but giggle at the surrounding sight.
“What’s got you laughing?” Harry asked, still in his fancy shoes and fancy coat, you still in your fancy heels and your fancy coat. Yet, you were both standing in what looks like a garbage dump site. Harry moved his hand away from his face and looked at you with a blank expression.
“You were right!” You laughed.
“Your reaction as if that’s a bloody miracle, love, which kind of an ego crush, but continue.” He rolled his eyes and you rolled yours in response. You clicked your way over to him and wrapped your arms around his waist, he kept his wrapped around his own obviously still closing himself off.
“Our kids are being reckless and crazy.” You recalled dinners earlier conversation, smiling up at him in admiration.
“I didn’t actually mean it, it was just a quick way to make you feel better.” He groaned in frustration.
“Well gee thanks babe!” You laughed at the whole irony of this situation. “Harry, babe, look at me,” you had to used your hand to turn his cheek to face you, stroking his cheek to calm him, “adulthood - parenthood - doesn’t define the choices we have to make. We do. And our children, apart from that last little bit, seemed like they had the most freeing and most brilliant night yet! Let them be reckless H. Let them make mistakes. Just because this happened doesn’t make us bad parents, and it doesn’t make us bad parents if we decide no punishment—”
“Ha like that’s going to happen!” Harry cut you off and you glared at him to just shut up.
“Just shut up, you oaf. Let the kids live while they’re young.”
“You did not just reference one of my songs.” Harry looked to the ceiling as he smiled widely, before shortly laughing at how cheesy that was. “Oh my god Y/N!”
“What? Was is that bad?”
“Yes, babe. Yeah it really was.” He looked back down at you to see you smiling and he couldn’t help but cup your cheeks and kiss you silly. His perfect lips fit yours and you tasted him until you couldn’t breathe. “I love you.”
“I love you. Now go help clean up.” You ordered him, making him look at you confused.
“What the hell have I done to deserve this?”
“You booked the hotel for next weekend instead of this weekend you div. Now go.” You smacked his backside and he strolled back over to you and pushed you into the counter. You gasped at the sudden motion.
“Do that again and let’s see what happens.” He whispered dangerously against your lips.
“Go clean up and then see what’s waiting in our bedroom.” You bit your lip and tugged Harry’s hand to under your dress, giving him only a slight feel of how wet you were before letting his hand go and walking away.
“Kids, hand me a bloody bin bag. Now!”
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yabai-korra · 3 years
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The reasons why we're getting Manorian book
There has been a lot of speculation whether SJM is going to favor us with book/novella about Manon Blackbeak and Dorian Havilliard, recently I saw some fans doubting it, so here's a list of logical reasons why it's happening.
1. It's SJM
This woman writes two 500+ pages books per year, for her it would be a piece of cake.
2. There have already been books focused on side characters
a) Chaol and Yrene - Chaol was one of the most unpopular characters before Tower of Dawn (which made me love him hehe) and she still wrote a 600+ pages long book about him, just imagine what she'd do with the most popular character (Manon) and one of the most popular ones (Dorian).
b) Nesta and Cassian - this is ship is the closest to Manorian equivalent in ACOTAR series, aka starting from a physical relationship that develops into a sentimental one. Also 6th ACOTAR book will be focused on a new characters (most probably Elain)
3. Favoritism
SJM has talked multiple times about her love for these two. When asked about her favorite TOG character, she said Aelin, but Manon was a close second place and she said that she absolutely loves writing her.
In another interview, when asked who she would go on a book tour with and a few similar questions, she answered Dorian.
Now, I haven't seen all of her interviews ever and I'm not sure how much she loves Nessian and Cahorene (seems to love Nessian a hella lot tho), but it's definite that Manorian are some of her favorite characters and it's just logical that she would write about them.
4. Unfinished story/Unresolved feelings
Ships at the end of TOG:
Rowaelin - married
Elorcan - engaged
Lysaedion - engaged
Chaorene - married with a baby on the way
Nestaq - engaged
Manorian - hug and "we'll see"
All the ships basically got engaged in the last chapter (it's not like I didn't like it hehe) and their stories, romantic-wise, were pretty much finished and they have no unresolved tension between them. Manorian on the other hand, have enough of it for all the ships lol.
KOA spoilers ahead!
Keep in mind, Manorian relationship was mostly a sexual one, and they don't quite yet have a way of communicating their feelings properly. So there is a lot of unaddressed between them, even though they obviously care a lot about each other.
The unresolved things between Manon and Dorian:
"“And if I asked you to stay?” / “I’d need a very convincing reason, I suppose.” / “Because I don’t want you to go.” - they just fucked and Dorian left for Morath later, which impacted Manon a lot but they haven't discussed it
"I even care about you." - Manon got up and left
"There is only one witch who will be my queen." - Manon doesn't know about this
Manon saved Dorian from Valg demon even when Aelin couldn't. It was the worst thing to happen to Dorian and he still bears scars from it, yet he didn't have an appropriate situation to thank Manon for it
Dorian knows that Erawan lusted after Manon, which got him pissed of course, and he didn't have a chance nor time to ask Manon about it. It might be nothing, but if I were Dorain and my girlfriend who doesn't show feelings was locked up with a crazy guy who has a thing for her, and have seen the way he treats women, I'd be concerned. Erawan was a Valg king, a tough opponent even for Manon. If he had done something to her, and he had plenty of means and opportunities and wish to do so, Manon would never openly tell anyone (maybe Asterin) about it, because it would imply opening up and being weak, which is Manon's worst fear. Again, SJM, as the Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just randomly throw in the main villain having a thing for an important character, everything in her books always has a meaning and purpose.
"Would you miss me if I didn't [come back]?" - Manon didn't reply
This is how SJM described Manorian marriage: "She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it." - and you're telling me it's not deserving of its own book? Not just that, Manon asked Dorian for marriage and they, again, just had sex, with Dorian loving the idea but deep down knowing that Manon would feel caged in a marriage. And that attitude won't just change out of the blue. It takes time and development which is something SJM writes amazingly.
With the Thirteen gone, beside Abraxos Dorian is the only creature Manon cares about.
Dorian's mortality (although as you'll see in point #6 I'm sure he's not human)
The dreaded "You could just marry each other." / "We'll see." (Thanks Yrene :)
5. Foreshadowing
Listen here, SJM IS THE QUEEN OF FORESHADOWING. She thought of a detail (Dorian's dad's name) in the first book that would matter in the last book. Of course, there are many many many more examples of that, but if we got "We'll see." then we'll fucking see it happen.
6. Unresolved things about Manon and Dorian as individual characters.
Manon and Dorian and both pretty broken at the end of KOA.
Manon lost the Thirteen, the only people she cared about. That is a huge trauma that needs to be addressed, especially with someone so reluctant to show feelings and heal like Manon.
Dorian can't be human?? He has fae abilities due to his relation to Gavin and Elena even though he's not even called a demi-fae. He possesses powers no one else does, phantom hands for example, which he didn't steal like shape-shifting. And Maeve pointed out that due to his father being possessed by Valg when Dorian was sired, it's possible he got some of the Valg abilities. (Also she said that he's stronger than Aelin) The main villain, especially written by Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just let drop it there and that's it. Also not to mention Dorian's own struggle with depression and self-worth.
They have both just become rulers of their kingdoms, completely new to it. Dorian has spent a big part of KOA imagining what kind of a king he wants to be (one that will have a witch queen hehe) and it was a major point of his character. And addition to that affecting them as characters, the future of Adarlan and Witch Kingdom could make a good plotline.
7. Other TOG characters
Although pretty much all the readers would die to see Chaorene baby, Lorcan in Perranth, Aelin and Rowan ruling Terrasen, Lysandra and Adeion officially adopting Evangeline, Nesryn and Sartaq becoming Khagan and Empress of Antica, all of these don't make enough of a plot on its own. They are great side-plots.
We know all of these characters love each other and are happy together, there isn't that much to be added to their personal stories other than kids. (same way Feyre and Rhys got a baby in Nessian book) Manorian however, they haven't even kissed without it leading to sex, they hugged at the end of KOA and it was the pique of their relationship. Their relationship is merely at the beginning, whereas others have pretty much reached their ultimatum (ofc SJM can decide to add some drama with betrayal, kidnapping, pregnancy etc. but for now everyone is good and settled beside Manorian)
Not to mention the way other relationships would affect them. Chaol, Dorian's brother, and Yrene, Manon's wannabe bestie and Manorian shipper, would bring their baby to meet his/her uncle Dorian and aunt Manon, and imagine Manon with a baby lol.
SJM loves Aelin and other characters way too much not to give us an insight on them as married couples, but since her books are huge and it's her, it needs a plot with drama, addressing traumas, repressed feelings, worldbuilding, and sex, and Manorian's got all of that.
8. Abraxos
We need more Abraxos, that's just a fact.
Wow that was a long one. Anyways, in conclusion, we're getting that Manorian book. Pretty sure it's gonna a book rather than a novella (TOD was also planned as a novella but then guess what) because there is just SO MUCH possible content.
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Back to the 118 // Evan Buckley
IN WHICH: Buck meets the firefighter he replaced as the reader transfers back to the 118. The reader never expected to fall for a co-worker the first day back at the 118 after two years spent at the 155 in Los Feliz.
Warnings: Swearing, sickness, hospitals, health issues, pregnancy, angst and a shit ton of fluff
Words: 5.9k
A/N: So this is obviously a modern au for jatp to fit in the 911 universe. To make this work, Buck replaced Reader instead of Tommy after many failed probies. Eddie then later replaced Tommy.
TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!
Masterlist
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Your e/c eyes scanned the outward appearance of the first firehouse you’d worked at fresh out of the Academy. The place that had become a second home from the increased tension-filled house your parents still lived in. A place you had escaped as quickly as you could for a dream career. A career your parents hadn’t been proud of in the beginning, with the danger that came with being a firefighter paramedic.
“You the new recruit?”
Your eyes fell from the building to the male individual standing near the open bay the engine and ladder truck both used. The male in question must have joined the 118 after you transferred to the 155. The stranger towered at least six feet minimum with blue eyes and short blonde hair with the slightest wave.
“No-”
“Flint!” The excited voice of the only other female paramedic called out. You only saw dark navy before you were pretty much tackled.
Hen and Chimney had equally taken you under their wings when you initially joined as a rookie. You’d been the second female firefighter-paramedic at the 118 and the youngest by far. As if you’d summoned him, you felt the arms of Chimney sandwich you against Hen.
“Flint?” The stranger parroted, blinking his eyes at the rather unusual scene of Chimney and Hen wrapped around an unknown girl.
“What are you doing here?” Chimney questioned, stepping back. Hen scoured your entire form for any differences that had occurred.
“Y/N decided to come home,” Bobby spoke from a few feet behind the reunion with the beaming smile on his features. His lips pulled into a smile directed at the first recruit he’d taken on his first year at the 118.
“Bobby!” You grinned, meeting the father figure in the middle of the distance between you two. Bobby wrapped you up in his arms tightly, a certain lightness cocooning the Captain as he took in his friends.
“You’re back here?”
“Everything is squared back at home now, thankfully, and while I loved working with the 155, it wasn’t home. This will always be home.”
“Buck, this is Y/N Patterson. She worked her first two years with the 118 before transferring to the 155 in Los Feliz. Y/N, this is one of our newest members, Evan Buckley.” Bobby gestured towards the previously nameless firefighter.
“Who would leave the 118?” Buck questioned, unable to come up with a valid reason to leave the family at 118.
Buck’s opinion didn’t stand with his only workplace after successfully becoming a firefighter solely was the 118. Never had he worked in another firehouse. He’d been a fire marshall and volunteered his time in the Austin wildfire, but he always came home to the 118.
“Family issues.”
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2018, Firehouse 118, Los Angeles
A fresh-faced, albeit dirty from sweat and soot, jumped down from the engine truck’s high steps. The synchronized slam of doors sounded from your colleagues and friends Hen and Chimney. All three individuals famished for the casserole Bobby had premade during the slow morning.
“Baked Mac n’ Cheese.” Tommy breathed from his position by the driver side. Tommy Kinard was a stoic man towering over six feet. He was always a gentle giant after you’d bonded after a hard call.
“Clean up, and I’ll have it in the oven. It’s Chimney’s time to make the salad and Flint’s turn to set the table.” Bobby spoke with barely a glance to the ground ahead of him. 
Your Captain jogged towards the stairs, whereas his team made their way to the locker rooms for a well-deserved shower. You and Hen split away from Tommy and Chimney to the women’s locker room that had gotten an upgrade.
Well, before you joined the Academy, the locker room had been used as a glorified game room, all thanks to the misogynist Captain from hell. Hen often had over the years mentioned how lucky you got with Bobby being your first Captain.
“Chimney better not put those onions like he did last time.” You spoke from under the stream of warm water. Nothing beat the warmth of a shower near the end of your shift erasing the evidence of your job.
“Man needs to learn the complimentary salad to the main dish.” Hen piped up from across the shower room.
You and Hen had both showered and redressed in a fresh uniform in under five minutes, the dirty one placed in a laundry bag. You’d managed to beat the boys to the upstairs by a few seconds. Enough to set half of the able before Chimney began to making his salad of choice.
“Looks great, Cap.” Tommy complimented the gooey homemade pasta Bobby religious made every third Thursday. He alternated between pasta recipes with the odd new recipe every once in a while.
“What are you waiting for? The bell?” Bobby quipped to the unmoving bunch of hungry individuals. His words started the boisterous meal time preceding the end of shift.
“So, we’re halfway through dinner and Amber-” Your phone interrupted the disaster date Tommy had begun telling. He continued as soon as you waved him to go ahead while you took the call.
“Hello?” You breathed into the phone.
“Hi, sweetheart.” The warmth infused in your mom’s voice soothed the ruffled feathers from the call you’d come back from, “How are you?”
“I’m good! We just finished eating. My shift is almost over, and I’ll have to go straight to the store for groceries-”
“Y/N, we found him.”
The him was easy to figure out given your brother had run away from home three months prior with only his dreams in mind. You’d spent most of your off time, sometimes even during shift out on a call, to scan the environment for Luke. You became a regular in questioning hospitals and homeless shelters.
“Where was he?”
“His band had been about to play at some big venue last night.” Mom’s word choice concerned you. Her voice dripped with sadness instead of the typical disappointment and annoyance on anything to do with Sunset Curve.
“Mom, what’s going on?”
“A few nights ago, the boys got hotdogs-”
“Streetdogs.” You interrupted with evident anger in your tone at the mention of those death dogs Luke consumed. You can’t even give a number to how many times you had told him how unsanitary and dangerous the food is.
“Something was wrong with the food. They got ill fast. Alex and Reggie are being kept for observation but will be found with a few days of rest.”
“What about Luke?”
“He tried to call 911; he was weak and fell. Y/N, he hit his head. He’s in the ICU in a coma.” Emily Patterson’s voice cracked as soon as she acknowledged the current state of her youngest child.
The colours of the world dulled as soon as your mind clicked that Luke was in the hospital. Your little brother had put himself in danger all because he had a big dream. Your mind flashed through your life growing up with him.
You remembered talking to your mom’s growing bump when she was pregnant with Luke. You remembered five-year-old Luke unable to settle unless you sang to him. Your voice was nothing special, but it soothed the little boy when he had a nightmare. You could vividly recall teaching Luke how to play the guitar when he was thirteen; the brunette a complete natural at it.
“What’s his prognosis?”
“Too early to tell. The doctor is hoping Luke will be in a general room after tomorrow if the swelling goes down. I wanted you to know as soon as possible.”
“How’s Dad?”
Emily hesitated from her position by a hospital bed. Her brown eyes carefully scanning the male sleeping soundly in the bed.
“Mom?”
“Your father had a heart attack last night. That’s why I haven’t been able to tell you sooner. He’s currently sleeping, but he’ll have a barrage of tests later today-”
“I’ll be there as soon as my shif-”
“No. Don’t drop anything. I can keep you up.”
“Excuse my language, but there’s no way in hell I’m staying away from my family. I’ll take a few days off. I’ll see you in a couple hours.” Your thumb tapped the red circle on the bottom of your screen.
The 118 didn’t bother pretending they hadn’t been watching your form during your phone call. Bobby felt like something had drastically changed in a few minutes you’d been busy on the phone.
“Everything okay?” Bobby inquired from his position at the kitchen sink. His hands in the sudsy water to scrub the empty pan.
“My brother and my father are in hospital. I’m gonna need some days off.” You informed your boss with a look of utter defeat coating your expression.
Those few days transitioned to transferring to the closest firehouse to your childhood home and the hospital. The medical bills from both your brother and father had begun to overwhelm your mother with the current single source of income. Emily didn’t ask you for anything, but you started renting the home you’d bought for extra money.
It was a silent agreement that you paid rent as a cover to helping with the bills piling up.
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Present Day, Firehouse 118
Buck followed behind the welcoming group to the girl that seemed larger than life. Buck was impressed by the sacrifice you’d made for the good of your family. You’d willingly given up the family of the 118. Buck didn’t know if he could do the same.
“Welcome back.” Hen cheered on her guidance to the heaven everyone called the kitchen. Your department issue duffle bag dropped out of the wall on the top level.
Your eyes zeroed in on the spread of your favourite foods prepared by the only person aware of your return. It was only one look of gratitude towards the father figure before everyone dug in.
A few changes had occurred since you’d last sat at this table. Tommy Kinard had left the 118 for the 217 shortly after your departure. He’d been replaced by the ready to impress Buck. One thing that hadn’t changed was the delicious food Bobby made.
Your eyes found the sole empty chair at the long table, “Didn’t you say the house took on two new recruits since I left?”
“Buck took your position when you left. We had a revolving door of firefighters before Buck permanently joined.” Chimney supplied with a mouth full of lettuce and grated carrot. Hen whacked his arm for his lack of manners.
“You’ll meet Eddie on the next shift. He took the day off. It’s his son’s first birthday since his mom died.” Bobby informed you with that pinched wrinkle between his eyebrows, “He joined after Tommy left.”
“Well, I can’t wait to meet the entire team.” You replied, looking past to the circular table behind Bobby’s spot. Sam and Ryan both waved happily upon catching sight of you back at your unspoken seat.
You listened intently as Hen shared the changes Denny had gone through in the time you’d been away. Chimney was ecstatic to point out the faint scar on his forehead.
“You had rebar go through your skull, and you’re completely fine?” You questioned, floored by the pure luck Chimney had.
“Oh, it was nasty. Went in from the back of the skull to the front.” Buck spoke enthusiastically, recounting the scene. Chimney deadpanned a look at his younger coworker, “Oh, sorry.”
“It’s like you never had it happen.”
“Doc was shocked at how positive the outcome and healing was. I was back at work within a month on light duty. I beat my record getting in my turnout gear.” 
“And yet my little brother was comatose for two months.” You grumbled under your breath. None of the people could make out the words, but the grimace on your face was enough to show them it was personal.
In true 118 fashion, the bell rang throughout the firehouse with the disembodied voice declaring the type and location. Yoru e/c eyes found Buck climbing into the driver’s seat where Tommy had once commandeered. It was odd not having the man who’d became an older brother to you.
“How’re your parents?” Hen questioned, sitting diagonally from you. Her fingers repositioning the radio on her chest.
“Dad’s recovering pretty good. Mom’s started attending her knitting club again.” 
Buck’s eyes raised to the rearview mirror to meet yours in interest, “What happened?”
“Uh...my dad had a heart attack a couple years ago. He took a long time to recover with the further stress that caused it.” You piped up, understanding the news would come out at some point, “My little brother was in an accident that left him in a coma. Life was just as messy after he woke up.”
“He’s okay?” Chimney questioned, “I know we’ve never met them, but it really gutted you.”
“Well, physically, he’s fine, but emotionally he’s upset. He was in a band, and when he came out of the coma, he found out some devastating news.” You continued to explain, but unfortunately, or maybe, fortunately, you’d come to the scene.
It was a little known place most teenagers discovered as a hang out spot just on the edge between your county and the next. The location was the infamous spot of cliff jumping; you knew because this was something you’d recklessly done in high school.
“He’s over here!” A blonde male of average height called from the edge of the cliff. His blue eyes were bright even from this distance, matching the detailing on his swim trunks.
Surrounding the edge with the boy was a group of teenagers his age, all in different versions of swimsuits. You found the scared brown eyes of a beautiful girl you vaguely knew from the few shows of Sunset Curve you had watched. Her dark blonde hair plaited out of her face. Her face clicked as Carrie Wilson, Bobby’s sister or cousin.
You jogged towards the edge of the cliff to look over. It was easily between fifteen to twenty feet from the edge of the cliff to the water. You recognized Hen crouching by your side, looking at what you were looking at.
On the rocks was a prone body of a teenage male with bruises already forming on his face from where you could see. His thick shoulder-length hair laid still half in the ponytail and around his head.
“Head trauma.” You murmured to Hen, scanning from a distance, “I can’t tell much from this height and angle.”
“Either a broken tibia or fibula. Spinal injury is definitely a concern.”
“Okay, his name is Willie Young. He’s eighteen years old. His sister Kayla was dared to jump off by doing some kind of flip. Willie took her dare and didn’t jump far enough or tripped over a rock.” Bobby listed having been talking with the group of teenagers all shook up.
“I can rappel-” Buck began to speak before you cut him off firmly.
“It would take too long, and the angle is difficult. Nobody rappels down it; the cliff isn’t stable enough. It crumbles pretty easy, and the unofficial name of this cliff is Devil’s Dive.” Your eyes found Carrie’s tear-filled once and the utter devastation in who you pegged as Kayla.
“How do you know that?”
“Because I’ve jumped off this cliff for years as a teenager. You’re looking at the resident champion of self reckless endangerment at Devil’s Dive.” 
Hen, Chimney and Bobby each stared, shocked at your revelation of stupid teenager decisions.
“Then how are we gonna get down there,” Buck questioned, staring at the unconscious teenager lying on the rocks.
“Easy, I can jump from here into the water and climb onto the rocks to where Willie is. I have the experience of how and where to jump safely.” You spoke to your Captain with complete confidence in your abilities, “You can lower down the kit, radio and backboard by a rope. There’s a mansion beyond the trees that you can ask to borrow a boat from the owner. He’s eccentric and questionable but nice enough.”
Bobby nodded his head to your plan. You unbuttoned your uniform shirt to strip down to the department t-shirt with the emblem on your chest and across your back. You kept the boots and emptied your pockets of anything. The butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the height of the cliff you hadn’t jumped from in years.
“I’ll jump where-”
“Excuse me?” You scoffed at Buck’s assumption he could follow you.
“You’ll need another pair of hands to roll him on the backboard. I don’t have anyone waiting for me at home. This is kinda what I do. Bobby cleared it already.” Buck shrugged with a half-smirk on his handsome face.
With a roll of your eyes, you quickly gave Buck a rundown on how to jump correctly before you tossed yourself off the cliff. The cold water momentarily shocked your system as soon you submerged under the water. You swam to the surface before swimming towards the rocks. Willie hadn’t moved an inch.
“Whoa! That was so cool!” Buck cheered once he’d appeared on the surface of the water, “No wonder you used to do that!” 
His excitement both annoyed and amused you, “Eh. I was just an idiot kid who thought they were invincible.”
The two firefighters lifted themselves onto the rock formation, where blood stained the rock. While Buck retrieved the backboard and essentials from the rope, your hands moved across Willie’s body, checking for breaks. You caught the c-collar Buck tossed without looking. You quickly but gently put the collar on Willie.
“Hi, Willie. My name is Y/N, and I’m a paramedic. I’m gonna check you over for injuries.” You informed the teenager closely. You’d only just opened his eyes to flash a light on them, “Buck let Bobby know Willie’s pupils are reactive to light and the same size.”
“Got it!” Buck called out from the open medkit, “I’ll splint his leg.”
“W-what happened?” Willie wheezed sluggishly. His brown eyes were unfocused.
“You got hurt trying to jump off the cliff. You’re in good hands, Willie. I’m a paramedic with the Los Angeles Fire Department. This is my coworker Buck.”
“Kayla?”
“Perfectly safe, but you did give her a scare. Willie, can you feel this?” Buck questioned, gently touching his right foot. Buck and you both gave a sigh of relief as Willie confirmed he felt it.
 “Okay, we’re gonna roll you on to the backboard. On three: one, two, three.” You counted before rolling Willie on his side with Buck. Willie’s cry echoed around the surrounding as you settled him on the board.
“Need a ride?” Chimney asked as a very nice boat floated towards the three people on the rocks. Hen and Bobby helped load Willie onto the boat, “Mr. Covington agreed to let us use the boat if we don’t get blood on the seats.”
“Can you call my boyfriend?” Willie sluggishly asked when he was loaded into the ambulance on the cliff. Kayla sliding into the seat in the back of the ambulance with their items.
“Alex is meeting us at the hospital.” Kayla told her older brother, “You absolute idiot! You should have just let me jump!”
“And let you be in the back of the ambulance? Dad would kill me if I had let you do it.” Willie scoffed. Their conversation was silent as Chimney and Buck closed the back doors of the ambulance.
Bobby, Buck and you climbed into the fire truck to follow the ambulance to the closest hospital. Hen and Chimney rolled the gurney to the doors with Kayla hot on their heels. You’d just turned to head back to the truck when you saw three teens loitering near the entrance.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” You grumbled, marching away from Bobby and Buck to the teen who was supposed to be in class.
Luke had been forced into private tutoring to catch up to his friends in his grades, meaning every afternoon. The watch on your wrist confirmed Luke was definitely supposed to be with his tutor at the community centre.
“Luke!” You shouted, stomping right up to the wide-eyed teen.
Luke’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as his older intimidating sister caught him like his hand was in the cookie jar. You didn’t give Reggie or Alex a second look while you gripped Luke’s ear to tug him away.
“Ow!” Luke whined from the angle you dragged him at.
“What the hell are you doing across the city? You’re supposed to be in your session that our parents are paying a great deal for.” You snapped, crossing your arms in your wet t-shirt.
“We need every chance we can to-”
“Make it big in the industry.” You parroted the past discussions on Luke’s dream as a band, “Do you remember how I got mom and dad off your back? An agreement that you finish high school on time. Not dropping out.”
“So many musicians have dropped out! Green Day’s frontman dropped out his senior year to focus on the band. Several others like Elton John and Kurt Cobain!” Luke enthused, gesturing with his hand to emphasize his words.
“Luke.” You warned, “It’s either catch by with a tutor with some time dedicated to your band, or it’s a military school.”
Luke’s hazel eyes minimally widened, “They would-”
Your stoic expression stayed the same as the energetic seventeen-year-old bounced in his spot across from you. 
“There’s only so much I can do before you lose everything. I know you feel anxious after what all happened, but music isn’t going anywhere.” You reached to squeeze Luke’s hand in yours, “So, I’ll clear it with my boss to have you ride the bus to the station. You’ll have your tutor sessions with my supervision, so I know you’re attending.”
“Y/N!” Bobby called from next to the firetruck, “We gotta go.”
“I’m guessing the Alex that Willie is dating your best friend?” You questioned with one raised eyebrow. Luke nodded in response, “Let mom know you had to be there for Alex. She’ll let skipping your session go this once.”
“Thanks!” Luke chimed, lunging to hug you. Your mouth barely opened before he was racing towards a jittery Alex and a grinning Reggie.
Reggie lifted his arm to wave with his flushed cheeks a darker red colour. You found Reggie’s crush on you to be absolutely adorable. He was a friendly kid.
“He looks good for a kid who was in a coma not long ago.” Hen breathed as the teenager entered the ER with his best friends beside him.
“Oh, he healed quickly. He was crushed after he fully recovered from his head injury.”
“That was your brother?” Buck inquired, and he was just as focused on your features as he had since he first met you. 
“Yeah! He was in a coma for ten months when he was sixteen. He’s spent the last two years catching on on school to graduate with his friends. Well hopefully. He’s dead set on dropping out.” You heavily sighed, leaning your temple on the glass window, “He was supposed to be at a tutoring session. I’ll be chaperoning to make sure he goes.”
“If you need to have them at the station, send me a schedule, and I’ll make it work. Luke’s just as much family as you are.”
The rest of the shift was smooth sailing as Buck followed you around with the sole purpose of getting to know you. The friendship came naturally to the two of you. He didn’t hold back with you like he did with others. Fridays off became hangouts that varied from just Buck and you to spend it with Eddie and Christopher.
Everyone could see Buck had developed feelings for you and vice versa. Unlike the man Buck used to be, he was cautious. He wanted to do this right. And Buck did. With the help of Christopher, he asked you out.
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Months Later
Buck’s eyes fluttered open in the dim lighting of your new home’s bedroom he often found himself in. Before, you had alternated staying at his apartment or yours before a significant change happened. Luke moved in to finish his senior year with the help of your tutoring, as agreed with your parents. That led to you giving up your former home, the one that coincidentally Buck’s sister Maddie had rented from you.
“Luke! You better be awake!” Your voice came from the main floor of the home. Your voice alone seduced the firefight to leave the warm sheets.
His bare feet pattered down the hardwood floor stairs into the kitchen coated in all different kinds of breakfast food. Waffles to imported maple syrup to bacon spread across the counter.
“Morning,” Buck grumbled, stepping up behind you to tug you against his chest.
Unlike Buck’s softer footsteps, your little brother tore down the stairs like a stampede of elephants. Luke wore a vintage band shirt modified sleeveless; you’d be getting a voicemail about dress code violations. The chains hanging off his black jeans.
“You have to hurry, Lu. Buck and I can’t be late. He needs to get to his apart-”
“I don’t see why he doesn’t just move in. He’s here almost every night. He helps buy groceries.” Luke’s hazel eyes stared at the plate he towered food on.
Buck raised one eyebrow in response, “You just moved in. You should be settled before we make-”
“Dude. Your lease is up in like a month; just move in already. No feathers will be ruffled. Besides, the band’s taking off now that Nick got his dad Ryan to check our music out.” Luke sprouted with a beaming smile at the good news his new band received.
After Luke had recovered from that coma, he’d woken up in a world where Alex, Reggie and Bobby, no Trevor, now continued the band. Then when Alex and Reggie couldn’t go on, the rhythm guitarist betrayed Luke. He stole every song he could get his hands on and proved successful.
“Ryan Evans, right? His sister’s some bigshot on Broadway? Sharpay, right?” You questioned recalling in the early 2000s the success of Sharpay and Ryan in some kind of Disney films based on them.
“You’re about to be the sister and brother-in-law of a certified rockstar.” Luke’s attempt at smirking made him look like a chipmunk with full cheeks of food, “I don’t need a ride. Alex’s picking me up.”
“Straight to school, Luke. You’ve got two weeks left before you can leave that behind.” Buck pointed his coffee cup in the direction of the passionate musician. Luke returned a smile of acknowledgement.
The kitchen was quiet as Luke shoved as much food in his mouth in such little time while you watched. In a flash, he’d stuck his dishes in the dishwasher before sprinting out to the van beeping continuously.
“Think we can have you moved in by tomorrow? Your one-bedroom place will be a little cramped for five people.” You simply spoke as you rinsed your coffee cup out. You could hear the wheels in Buck’s brain turning as he thought.
“Five people?”
“Yeah. Luke, Albert, me, you and baby Buckley.”
The entire home went completely still as the announcement bled into the house you’d made a home. One hand resting against the smoothness of your belly. That hand covered by the calloused one of Buck’s. His blue eyes gleaming in utter adoration and excitement.
“Baby Buckley?” Buck marvelled, turning you to face him with tears running down your cheeks, “You’re pregnant?”
“I am. I guess we’re giving Maddie’s daughter a cousin.” You grinned, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“Now I’m obligated to see your parents regularly, and I still grimace at the first introduction.” Buck winced, recalling the foot in mouth syndrome he’d developed.
Buck had never been as nervous as in this moment. Not when he had to tell his parents the first time he got kicked out of college. Or when his teenage self sat beside one of his flings waiting for the results of a pregnancy test. Not even on his first date with Abby. 
“You’ll be fine.” You soothed the anxious man standing by your side on the doorstep of your childhood home. The door opened, revealing Luke standing with a grimace, “Oh Mom, made you wear that.”
Luke had been stuffed into one of the only long-sleeved shirts he owned by your mother. It was a magenta maroon hued corduroy shirt and set off his chocolate hair perfectly. Apparently, your mother hadn’t been able to get him into a pair of pants that weren’t skinny, black or ripped.
“We’re meeting your boyfriend, not the damn Pope-”
“You wouldn’t be wearing that if the Pope was involved.” You retorted, stepping to tug the younger Patterson into your arms. The only thing you adored about your little brother was he never denied a hug. Physical touch is his love language, so he never went through a phase.
“Lucas, don’t let them freeze on the front porch!” Emily shouted from within the Patterson home. Luke rolled his eyes at his mother’s request.
“Luke, this is my boyfriend, Evan Buckley. Buck, this is my not so little brother Luke.” You swiftly introduced the most important males in your life.
Luke and Buck got along better than any previous partner you’d brought home. He got along with your parents really well. Even when he slightly embarrassed himself as the time came to go home, whether it was his place or yours. He kissed your mother’s cheek and shook hands with your father.
“No offence, but thank you for having a heart attack and a coma. If you hadn’t, I’m sure I would have never met Y/N.”
Luke snickered at Buck’s odd choice of words, as did your parents. A part of Buck dreaded the next time he’d see your parents.
The gentle press of lips against your cheek pulled you from your thoughts of the first family dinner. Despite the issues between Luke and your parents, they were great people and parents; Buck had felt like he finally fit in. Even with that awkward thankful he gave your brother and dad, he was family the minute Mitch and Emily saw the mutual looks.
“How are we gonna do this?”
“Well, as the pregnant one, I’ll carry the little Bean until it’s time for them to enter the world. Then we’ll-”
“I get that but with our jobs?”
You felt guilty at the dread of not getting to do what you love, but you were excited, “I’ll keep working as a paramedic. I’ll stay away from fires, and then I’ll go on mat leave. We’ll make this work, Buck.” 
Buck leaned down to rest his forehead against yours with his eyes closed, envisioning how life was about to change. Buck adored children. He had loved Christopher from the moment he’d first met him. Buck himself was a kid at heart. 
“I didn’t think I could fall more in love, but you continue to surprise me each time,” Buck murmured with that gorgeous smile that utterly melted your heart from the first time you saw it. Back when you tried to deny any feelings beyond friendship.
“We’re so lucky to have you, Evan Buckley.” You breathed as you leaned up to kiss him with as much passion as you could. Although it was mostly clashing of teeth with the matching wide grins on your face.
“This little girl is gonna be a heartbreaker but no boyfriends or girlfriends until they’re thirty.” Buck declared, tugging you into his arms. His blue eyes twinkling in the natural lighting.
“It could be a boy.”
“Or maybe neither. Boy, girl or non-binary, I’ll love them just as much.” Buck spoke once more.
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Gideon Buckley was born in the early morning to the pride of his parents and extended family. He was a healthy solid 8 pounds with sparse dark blonde hair and the trademark grey-blue newborn eyes. You everyone but Buck and your surprise Gideon wasn’t alone. Grace Buckley followed her older twin brother eight minutes later.
You rested against the propped up pillows spent from the exhausting hours of labour, but it was worth it. The two tiny babies snuggled beneath the swaddling blanket concealing your bare chest. Skin to skin contact was absolutely the best part of being a parent.
“Did you steal a baby?” Chim joked upon entering the hospital room with Maddie in tow. Right behind them were your parents and Luke.
“I’d like you to meet our twins Gideon and Grace Buckley. Surprise!” Buck quietly cheered in the nearly silent room. Buck’s curated newly parents playlist gently playing in the background.
Mitch and Emily came closer to look at the little loves they proudly got to claim as their first grandchildren. Emily’s heart melted upon hearing Gracie coo in her sleep. Grace and Gideon’s fist pressed against each other.
“Congratulations.” Maddie breathed, bending to catch a peek at the twins’ faces.
“Luke. Would you like to meet your goddaughter and godson?” You questioned the nervous musician. The nineteen-year-old tiptoed his way to the hospital bed.
“I’m both their godfather?” Luke choked as soon as Buck gently transferred Gideon onto his uncle’s chest. 
“There’s no one else in the world I’d choose to help guide them in the right direction. You always found your way back onto the right path. You’ll do the same for them.” Buck answered with Gracie nestled on his chest.
 Buck was the first to hold them followed by you and then their godfather Luke.
Gid and Gracie, although unseen, had been in Luke’s graduation pictures and watched as Julie and the Phantoms signed with a record label. Where Gid was, Luke wasn’t far beyond; the special bond melted everyone. Likewise with Gracie and Alex.
Gid overall was a happy baby compared to Grace. Loved visiting the firehouse. Loved the people working with their father and previously their mother. For the entire first year of Gideon and Grace’s life, you stayed at home with the utter support of Buck.
“First day back.” Hen spoke from beside you on the bench in the women’s change room. As a fellow mother, she’d been watching your behaviour.
“I miss them. I feel guilty that I abandoned them-”
“Okay, your feelings are valid, but you aren’t abandoning Gideon or Grace. You’re teaching them that you can be a great mom while also being a badass firefighter. I was the same when I went back to work after we got Denny.”
“Do you ever wish you could be a stay at home mom?”
“I love Denny with my entire heart, but I couldn’t do that. I was meant to be a paramedic firefighter as much as Denny’s mother. Besides, I can see Maddie pushing in the double stroller.”
Your head snapped to see your sister in law beaming with the double stroller carrying Gideon and Grace. Maddie’s daughter sitting on the seat made for a toddler. Maddie and Chimney had come to a decision for Maddie to work part-time.
Hen watched as you bounded out of the changeroom in uniform to scoop the twins into your arms. In a split second, Buck was down the stairs cooing at the absolute loves of his life. His partner and two children.
Buck would forever be grateful for finding his way to the 118, where he found his true family. A place of acceptance, love, trust and loyalty. Buck found his place in the world, and that was beside you.
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isthisthingeven0n · 3 years
Text
too little too late : j.w
brief summary: after an argument with jeff, you refuse to leave your bedroom and lock him out until he apologises for his actions (1k)
requested: yes by an anon!  warnings: angsty , but a happy ending i promise 
all my links
(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website know it hasn’t been approved me unless specified. all rights reserved. - i have to start doing this as I had some shit on my other blog with plagiarism)
DO NOT STEAL MY WORK - IT IS ALL MY OWN WRITING
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“I just don’t fucking care! What about that don’t you understand?” Jeff yells, unable to stop the scoff leaving his lips as silence falls between you both.
There had been plenty of times in his life where Jeff knew he took things too far, scraped on the edge of humour into hurt. But he should’ve known looking at you after he raised his voice and saw tears brimming in your eyes he’d definitely taken it too far.
“I’m sorry, Y/n,” Jeff speaks softly as you shake your head, walking toward him.
A sliver of hope lines in Jeff’s heart as you stretch your arms out, resting them on his chest. “Get out.” You mutter and push with all your might causing Jeff to lose the last bit of hope that he hadn’t ruined things.
“Y/n, please,” Jeff tries to talk, but you ignore him until he’s stepping backwards, giving in as you slam the bedroom door in his face, turning the lock to ensure privacy. “fuck.” Resting his head against the door, Jeff sighs as he can hear you crying on the other side of the door, alone.
Turning away in defeat, Jeff walks with his tail between his legs into the living room to see several faces greeting him.
“What?” Jeff asks as Zane sighs whilst Heath and Matt lower their heads. Todd is the only person to look Jeff in the eyes as he shakes his head.
“You really didn’t hold back there.” Jonah comments as he walks into the living room from the kitchen, Nerf following behind him. “We could all hear you from out here.”
“You all heard that?” Jeff questions quietly, shame beginning to cloud his mind as Todd rises to his feet.
Patting Jeff's shoulder, Todd walks toward the spare bedroom as Jeff follows. Once the door is closed, Todd leans against it before turning to face his friend.
“Why would you say all that to Y/n?” Todd doesn’t hesitate to ask as he rests his hands on his hips whilst Jeff sinks into the bed.
“I don’t know,” Jeff starts as he thinks over the argument, how it started as a minor disagreement and escalated to new heights. “she just wouldn’t stop encouraging me with this new series we’re planning.” Jeff mutters, faintly hearing you in his mind telling him how good of an opportunity it’ll be if he just focuses on it.
“How awful, your girlfriend supports and encourages you?” Todd sarcastically remarks. “Are you guys not doing so good, is that it?”
“Not at all.” Jeff quickly responds. “She’s, she’s the perfect girl.” He smiles to himself, knowing it’s true. “It’s just been difficult lately, with us both at home now all the time and our work schedules are never in sync.” He carries on to explain in a calm manner whilst Todd listens.
“You gotta just talk to her, dude. Be calm, and collected. Oh, but apologise first.” Todd states as he sits beside his friend. “Just tell her the truth.” Todd adds.
“I can do that.” Jeff mutters as he and Todd clap their hands together before Jeff walks out of the bedroom and straight towards the locked door.
Standing outside of the door, Jeff raises his fist and knocks three times.
Silence follows until he hears you move around the rooom. “Fuck off, Jeff.” You sternly state as you wipe your eyes, officially tired of crying.
“No, I won’t, baby.” Jeff softly tells you, resting his hand on the door. “I want to talk to you, I owe you an explanation.” He pauses as you scoff loudly.
“Understatement of the century.” You mutter under your breath as you cross your arms.
“What I said earlier, when I yelled at you it was completely out of line and you don’t deserve that, ever.” He continues, leaning against the door now as he glances down to the handle, hoping to see it move. “And I can’t say I have a valid excuse for it, but it’s been hard lately, being here all the time and with our different schedules, I’m just feeling lost.”
You uncross your arms as you listen to him intently, having noticed the signs over the past few weeks. Jeff starts work later in the day and doesn’t finish until the early hours of the morning. Whereas you start at the crack of dawn, finishing not long after he sits down to edit videos.
“I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, and tell you that I don’t care because I do.” Jeff sighs. “I care so fucking much about what you think, about your opinions and advice. Honestly, Y/n, you’re the best person I’ve ever met.” His voice trails off as he inhales deeply. “So please, open the door doll, I wanna tell you the rest in person.”
Hesitantly, you reach down and turn the lock. Jeff can feel his heart rise at the sound of that quiet click, followed by the door handle bending and the door opening.
He watches as you appear behind the door, dried tears lining your cheeks as you smile weakly to him. “Hi.” You mutter, sniffing loudly as you fiddle with the hems of one of his many hoodies you now own.
“Oh Y/n,” Jeff steps closer and wraps his arms tightly around you. “I’m so sorry, truly, I am.” He mumbles into your hair as you bury your face into his chest, holding on with all your might as you force back a sob.
“It’s okay, Jeff.” You tell him as you loosen your grip around his waist, leaning back so you can look at him clearly. “What else did you want to say?” You ask, raising a brow.
“Oh,” Jeff chuckles under his breath before lifting one hand up and cups your cheek. “I love you, Y/n.”
You lift your hand up, resting it on top of his. “And you think I care?” You retort, watching his face fall for a moment before laughing light heartedly. “Baby, I’m kidding!”
Jeff rolls his eyes as you move your hand to the back of his neck.
“I love you too, doofus.” You mutter before closing the space between you both, forgetting the argument ever happened.
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oblxvion · 3 years
Text
euphoric | eren jaeger (5)
-> pairing eren jaeger x f!reader
-> wc: 5.6k
-> warnings: use of alcohol, mentions of weed, swearing, angst, tiny bit of fluff at the end
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you sat there in shock, with eren’s phone in your hands. you didn’t know how to feel, especially with the fact that you both had just had talked about your relationship together, and for him to receive this text, just proved to you that everything you knew about him in the past and what sasha had told you were true.
you didn’t know what to do but you sure as hell wanted to know what it was about. you quickly threw on your sweatpants and made your way to where eren was in the kitchen, quietly humming to himself as he was pouring your tea in a cup. he turned around to see you with your arms crossed, eyeing what he was doing.
“i got you mint tea, is that fine?” he handed you the cup, to which you accepted with a small smile. 
“yeah that’s fine,” you said as you took a small sip of the drink he had given you. you wanted to ask him about the text but you didn’t know how to start the conversation. maybe you shouldn’t even bother and just ghost him until he comes crawling back, if he does. but part of you wanted to confront him about the text. he had told you that you were the only girl that he was seeing, now you weren’t so sure. you had his phone in your pocket and you had to think of a way to give it to him without him being suspicious but also striking up a conversation about the text.
“i brought your phone, i don’t know if you wanted it,” you interrupted the silence by taking his phone out of your pocket and sliding it across the table. you tapped the screen of his phone before taking your hand back so he could see the text that was sent to him minutes before. 
eren looked down at his phone and felt his stomach drop. if you had brought him his phone, there was no doubt that you had seen the text as well. he didn’t even remember who’s number that was, much less the name of the person.
“so, who’s the chick?” you asked calmly but beginning to get agitated at the fact that eren had visibly tensed up when you had given him his phone. 
“y/n, i-” eren was at a loss of words, he didn’t know what to say. he had no idea who the number was on his phone but he didn’t know what to say to you. you both had a conversation about where your relationship was standing less than a couple hours ago and for him to receive this text, and for you to see it, made him feel horrible. 
“eren, honestly.” you sighed, putting your head in your hands before looking back up at him. “we literally just talked about what we were. who’s the girl?” you didn’t know what to feel. hurt? betrayal? you felt numb. was he playing you the whole time? 
“i don’t know.”
“what do you mean ‘you don’t know?’” you scoffed as you stood up from your chair. he was acting as if he had no idea what was going on. “after everything eren? really? you’re seeing other girls? you lied to me?” you could feel your voice wavering, all the emotions slowly crashing down.
“y/n, baby, that’s not what this is.” eren got up from his seat and made his way over to you, resting his hands on your forearms. you were trembling with anger and eren was not helping the situation right now. 
“don’t fucking ‘baby’ me, eren.” you pulled yourself out of his grasp, feeling the tears beginning to form in the corners of your eyes. “i don’t even know what to think. sasha told me about your past with historia, and frankly, i think she was trying to protect you as a friend for not mentioning the dozen other girls that you’ve fucked around with.”
he was well aware that he had a history with girls, he knew that he did have a reputation for talking girls up, making them fall for him, getting in their pants and then leaving. they always came back for seconds, but he never would really allow it, except for you and historia. things with you were different, you weren’t like other girls, he’d told you that before.
“i swear, y/n, i have no idea who that number is. i swore off other girls once i realized that i had a chance with you, i promise.” eren was practically begging you to believe him, but your gut feeling said otherwise.
“whatever, eren. i don’t have time for this.” you snapped back at him as you grabbed your keys from the counter top and made your way to the door, sliding your shoes on. you opened the door and looked back at him, leaning against the counter with his head in his hands. 
“reach out to me when you feel like being honest with me.” you slammed the door behind you as you made your way out of the building.
eren was left all alone in his complex, wondering what he had done wrong. sure, he should have maybe blocked the other numbers in his phone once he started becoming serious about you. you had been the only person that he could really be somewhat vulnerable with, he didn’t want to lose you.
“fuck.”
you had made your way back to your car, hands shaking as you turned on the ignition. there were tears running down your face as you drove. how could you have been so blind?
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it had been almost a week since you and eren had gotten into that argument. in fact, you wouldn’t really consider it an argument, you had just discovered that there were girls in his phone. if there are other girls texting him, does that mean he’s texting them back? what if he’s cheating? we’re not like dating, but we’re exclusive, right?
you hadn’t really left your room, only for food, the bathroom, or school. sasha had noticed. the day you had come home from eren’s, you went straight to your room and slammed the door. she didn’t know if was appropriate to ask you or not because you were clearly upset. you hadn’t been eating as much as you usually did, and she was beginning to get worried.
it was around 5 in the evening and you were just starting a new season of your show when you heard a soft knock on your door, pausing before the episode started. 
“yeah?” 
“hey, y/n,” sasha said softly, before shutting the door and making her way over to the edge of your bed. you shut your computer and set it beside you as you shifted to make yourself more comfortable. “how’ve you been? i’ve noticed-”
“i’m fine, sash.” you whined at your response, you didn’t mean to sound like a complete bitch, especially to sasha. “fuck, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to sound like an ass.”
“don’t worry about it.” she brushed it off as she came and sat next to you on your bed. you wrapped your arms around her waist, you could feel that you were about to break down, and sasha could too. “now, do you wanna tell me what’s going on?”
you took a few deep breaths, you knew that if you talked about the situation with eren that you would break down. but you had cried in front of sasha before, she was your best friend.
“okay, basically, i was at eren’s, right? after we had the whole conversation about our relationship. oh, did i tell you that historia practically barged in on our date?” you had decided to start from the beginning, hopefully you’d be able to be calmed down when you got to the part about the text. 
“no way.” sasha’s jaw slacked in complete shock. “what’d she say?”
“she kinda just came up to us, acting all bestie with eren. he was annoyed about it, but then she brought up how he had talked about me a lot when they used to hang, which made me uncomfortable. so i ended up telling her off, but i felt bad afterwards because she seems like a nice person.” you sighed, burying your face into her side, trying to hide your embarrassment from being mean to historia.
“well, if she was bothering you, you had every right to tell her to leave. she’s sweet, but i’m not gonna lie, she can be a bit much sometimes.” her comment made you chuckle, sasha never failed to bring you out of a bad spot. “i don’t mean to pry but what happened with eren? you came home pretty pissed off earlier this week.”
“jesus, don’t even get me started.” sasha gave you a look that said ‘uh-oh’ before you continued on with your story. “we fucked when we got home from our date, and he went to go get me a drink when some bitch texted him.”
“you’re joking.”
“nope.” you enunciated the p as you sat up in your bed, back against the headboard. “when i confronted him about it, he kept saying that ‘it isn’t what it looks like’ and that he ‘swore off’ hooking up with girls when he realized that he had a chance with me. i didn’t believe him because my gut feeling was telling me that there was something up.” 
“wow. that’s fucked,” sasha was getting angry herself, especially after she had personally texted eren and told him not to fuck with you. “if i’m being honest, i’m not surprised. he’s done this to many other girls in the past.”
“yeah, i guess i kinda got swooped into it.” you laughed as you played with your hair. “but i still care about him, you know? he told me that he sees me differently than those other girls in the past. it’s just, i don’t really know how to feel.”
“have you talked to him?” he had been texting you the first two days after you had left, trying to see you and talk to you as an attempt to clear up what happened. you only gave him dry responses, saying that you were busy or you weren’t feeling well. he’d ask to come and comfort you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to see him, so you turned him down. after that, he’d stopped reaching out to you.
“i mean he texted me a bit at the beginning of the week but he’s stopped now after i told him repeatedly that i was busy.” you said quietly as you played with your fingers.
“he probably wanted to give you some space,” she reassured you as she made her way off the bed, opening the doors to your very messy closet. “but, let’s not mope! we need to get you out of the house.” sasha looked through your clothes, as if she was trying to look for something, but she had no luck. you always seemed to have all the sweatpants and baggier clothing whereas she spent a lot of her money on the flashy clothes. you didn’t mind though, the both of you shared your clothes like siblings.
“ugh, where are we going?” you sighed, not wanting to go out. but part of you thought it was a good idea, since you had practically been barricaded in your room the whole week. by the looks of it, it seemed that she was trying to get you to go to a party. you hadn’t been to one in a while considering everything, but this sounded fun. “is it a party?”
“you bet!” she flashed a smile before it faded away slowly, leaving you confused.
“sasha, what’s wrong?”
“nothing, it’s just that historia’s hosting it…” she said quietly before scratching the back of her head, looking back over to you. “she told me she texted you.”
“oh.” you didn’t really know what to say, how did she get your number? you guys shared some friends so that could be it. you reached over to your phone, not seeing any texts from unknown numbers but then you remembered that your phone filtered out unknown numbers. you clicked there and saw the text she had sent you.
(***)-***-****
hey y/n! it’s historia, i’m hosting a party later 
on friday at 8 if u wanna come! 
i feel like i started off on the wrong 
foot w/ u and i wanna fix that
hope u can come!
you reread the text, and thought about what she had said. she did piss you off in the beginning and you were a total bitch to her, so partially it was both of you to blame. her text was nice, and it made you rethink some of the things that you had thought about her before.
y/n
hi! im sorry i didn’t see this until now
but i’d love to!
dw ab what happened 
we can start fresh :)
you began to realize that you shouldn’t be mad at historia for what she did, but eren for how he treated her. you have known him for a while and you never really knew about what he did with girls or to them, but you knew that he did have a large body count.
“what’d she say?” sasha asked, taking you out of your trend of thought. 
“oh, she just invited me and said that we got off on the wrong foot and how she wanted to fix it. i told her not to worry about it and that i’d come.”
“ah, i’m glad!” she beamed, turning towards the door of your room. “let’s go look in my room for some cute clothes for tonight! you need to forget about eren and have some fun!” you gave her a weak smile before getting out of your bed and following her out the door to her room.
she opened the door to her closet, revealing more presenting clothes, noticing that some of them were yours but you didn’t say anything. she rummaged through, humming to herself quietly before pulling out a black slip dress with a slit on the side. 
“here, try this on!” she grinned, handing you the dress. you gave her a unsure look before slipping the dress off of the hanger. “put it on!”
you undressed yourself before sliding the dress over your body, it fit perfectly on you. you didn’t like the way that your bra straps were showing so you opted to go braless for the night. the dress made your curves pop out, all you needed now was a bit of jewelry and you were going to be set.
“sasha, this is perfect!” you gushed, pulling her into a hug. you felt really confident in this outfit.
“you look so hot, y/n. i swear, the guys will be all over you.”
“oh, stop it,” you gave her a playful smack before turning around and looking into the mirror. the dress was perfect, you felt hot.
she continued to look through her closet to find an outfit for her to wear, deciding to go with jeans and a cute backless top. she looked really good, you made sure to tell her that.
“so, what time should we leave?” you questioned, peering over at her as she threw her hair up in her infamous ponytail.
“well, she did say that it started around like 8, so let’s go around 8:30. being the first ones there would be weird.” sasha was always one to show up fashionably late, especially to a party. she thought it was awkward to be the first people at events, you agreed with her.
“ok, so i have time to shower and take a quick nap!” you beamed as you made your way to the door of her room.
“you and your naps, i swear.” she joked, before taking off her outfit and placing it on her bed. “i’m gonna shower and i’ll wake you up so you can shower after i’m done.”
“perfect!”
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“y/n!” you woke up to the sound of the sasha opening your door, letting you know that it was around 7 and that it was your turn to shower, to which you nodded your head. you grabbed your bathrobe and exited your room.
you entered the bathroom and turned on the shower for the water to get hot before you took off your clothes that you had slept in. you stepped inside and felt the warm water hit your back, remembering the time that eren was in with you. you felt yourself smile, reminiscing about the feeling of being so close to him. you still cared about him, but the thought of him lying to you and talking to, maybe even seeing, other girls, just didn’t sit right with you. was he lying to you the whole time? and tonight, would he show? he said that he disliked historia and hadn’t spoken to her in a while since seeing her earlier that week. there’s no way he would be there. 
you made sure to shave your legs and your intimate parts, along with washing your hair. before you knew it, the water began to run cold, signaling you that your shower was done. you grabbed the towel that you had set on the toilet beside the shower, wrapping your body. you took a second towel and dried your hair a bit before moisturizing your form and reaching for your bathrobe. 
part of you hoped eren would be there, but the other didn’t even want to look at him. why were you so attached? why were things so confusing?
the door to the bathroom opened and sasha came in with her makeup bag in hand.
“the lighting here is better, hope you don’t mind!” she said as she placed her bag down next to the sink. she was in her outfit for tonight and her hair was half-up half-down.
“oh, no i don’t mind at all!” your voice wavered and she noticed it.
“what’s up?”
“nothing!” you denied before making your way over to the door. “it’s fine, i’ll come join you in a sec, ‘kay?”
“whatever you say,” she laughed as she shook her head before taking out her makeup.
the door to your room was still opened, like you had left it. you slipped the dress on and grabbed your makeup bag to meet sasha back in the bathroom. you didn’t know why you were so nervous, it was just a party, you had been to plenty before. so why were you feeling this way now?
you shook off the feeling and began to put on your makeup beside sasha, chatting away at how she was hoping that niccolo would be there. she really seemed to have interest in him, in a way you felt jealous. he was always treating her with respect, while eren did that to you. 
“i’m gonna play some music, y’know, to get us hyped up and stuff like that,” you announced as you played your favorite playlist. you partially wanted to play the music to keep your mind at ease and forget about eren to focus on the party. 
“oh my god, i love this song!” sasha squealed as she danced in the mirror, earning a laugh from you. this continued until sasha got a text from connie asking when the two of you were going to head over, offering to pick you up on the way. 
“i think that’d be smart,” you told her as you applied setting spray, “cuz then we won’t have to worry about driving.” she nodded her head and told him that it’d be great if he could lend a hand. 
“so,” she set her phone down, and looked at her complete makeup look in the mirror before turning over to you. “jean and connie should be here around 8, it’s 7:50 now.”
“that sounds good, i should be done any minute.” you had opted to leave your hair natural, just gently brushing it. they arrived a bit earlier than expected, so you and sasha went to the door, slipping on your shoes. both making sure that you had everything you needed for the night.
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by the time you arrived with sasha and the two other boys, there was a large amount of people outside and inside the house. the house was massive, she must have some very wealthy parents who lived near the school. the sound of music and the smell of weed wafted through once you entered. you were greeted by people that you didn’t really remember, but you didn’t mind. people were eyeing your outfit, asking you to talk but you merely turned them down.
“someone’s popular! i’m gonna go get us some drinks, ‘kay?” sasha called over to you as she walked over towards the kitchen. 
“okay!” you yelled back over the music. it had been a while since the last time you partied but you missed the feeling. you made your way over to the living room and saw armin and annie chatting over in the corner. “hey guys!”
“hey y/n!” armin exclaimed, he seemed happy to see you. annie mumbled a quiet hey before taking another swig of her drink. “how’ve you been?”
“oh, y’know the usual,” you shrugged before sliding your phone in the light weight jacket you had brought with you. “i’ve been cooped up for so long so i decided to come out of my cave.”
“yeah of course, i get that. how did your exams go?” he asked, setting his drink down on the table beside him. 
“they were fine, i hopefully should be getting my grades back soon. thanks for your help by the way, i would’ve failed without you.”
“it’s no biggie, don’t worry about it.” he chuckled as he rubbed the back of his head. “hey, are you here with eren?” so he doesn’t know? wait, is he here?
“no, him and i are in a rough spot right now.” you sighed, looking around for sasha who had promised to bring you a drink but she was still nowhere to be seen. 
“what happened, if you don’t mind me asking?” annie spoke up, clearly intrigued by where the conversation was going. 
“just the fact that i was at his place and we had just fucked, and then some girl texted him.”
“oh, so he cheated?” she questioned.
“well no, i don’t know. i kinda was really upset so i didn’t leave him much time to explain himself.” you had left his place in such a rush that you barely gave him a chance to speak, partially because you didn’t want to hear what he had to say. the text was enough for you.
“fuck, i’m sorry y/n.” armin apologized before opening his mouth to speak again but you cut him off. 
“do you know where historia is? i want to thank her for inviting me.” the two of them were clearly uncomfortable but sasha came over just in time with your drink. 
“here y/n, i got your favorite! oh hey guys!” she beamed as she handed you your beverage.
“sasha! it’s good to see you!” they continued to chat as you looked around the room trying to figure out if eren was actually here. armin’s comment about you arriving with him did not go unnoticed by him. 
“eren’s here and he’s talking to historia but i couldn’t tell y/n that, considering everything.” armin whispered, leaning over to sasha. she was furious at eren, he was doing it to you now too? 
“y/n, let’s go take some shots!” she urged you, hoping that you hadn’t heard what armin had just said. much to her despair, you had heard and your heart dropped once again. you nodded your head, hoping that a few shots would help. 
before you knew it, you were more than a few shots deep. the alcohol giving you a buzz and it made you feel like you couldn’t give a fuck about what was going on around you. you felt free, dancing across the living room with sasha while the music blared throughout the room. you couldn’t help but feel a pair of eyes watching you.
“sasha, baby! i love you!” you slurred before grabbing the handle of vodka and taking a long sip. the feeling burned your throat as you reach for a glass of water to wash down the feeling.
“i love you more!” she dragged out her words and pulled you into a hug before a tall blonde came in between the both of you.
“wow, you guys are fucked.” he laughed before bringing his head down so you both could hear. “sasha, niccolo is asking where you are, he’s over by the kitchen taking with a few of his buddies.” 
“you go have fun, you will be my new dance partner!” you dragged him onto the dance floor as sasha gave you a cheeky smile. you and many other moved your bodies to the beat as he looked at you in awe, he didn’t know who you were but you interested him. 
“what’s your name?” he yelled over the music as he came behind you putting his hands on your waist. you were equally as drunk as he was.
“i’m y/n!” you responded as you brought your hands on top of his. you couldn’t deny it, he was insanely attractive.
“i’m reiner.”
you could feel yourself growing hot, it probably was the alcohol. you were way past your limit, and thank god you had eaten earlier because you probably would’ve been over at the toilet. his hands on your body felt different than eren’s, like he was trying to be careful with you, as if you were a doll. 
his name was called over the crowd and he apologized quickly before going over to where it was called from. “i’m gonna grab us some drinks, i’ll be back.”
“i’m gonna go find historia and thank her for inviting me!” you shot him a sloppy thumbs up as you turned around to go find the blonde girl. you weaved through the people, trying to find her. 
it seemed impossible with the amount of people, but when you turned the corner into one of the rooms near the living room, you saw her standing there and whispering with some dude. a tall guy with a loose man bun to be exact.
eren. 
it took everything in your drunken will-power to not go up to him and slap him.
“historia!” you sang as you swayed your way over to the two. 
“y/n! i’m so glad you could come!” she squealed as she brought you into a hug. “i’m so sorry about before i felt really bad about it afterwards.”
“no worries! thank you so much for inviting me!” you pulled out of the hug and gave her a smile. 
eren didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to say to you. he just stood there as you talked to historia. more importantly, he had told you that he hadn’t talked to historia in a while and how he didn’t like her, you basically had caught him in a lie.
the way he was standing there, not saying anything, with historia, was driving you mad. 
“hey, eren, how are the girls? having fun?” you scowled as you stepped closer to him. you didn’t know what to say, your mind was clouded with alcohol. he was taken aback by your words, you really had no idea. his lack of response is what pushed you over the edge.
“you know what? fuck. you.” you seethed, bringing your hand up to his face with a hard slap before turning around on your heel.
“y/n, please, you’re drunk.” he reached out and grabbed your forearm. he needed to explain everything, he didn’t know what feelings you had endured this past week but he wanted to make it right.
“no, eren. let me go, please.” you felt the tears brim your eyes as you tried to turn away. he could hear the hurt in your voice, loosening his grip on your arm as you wiggled away and walked away through the crowd without turning back. “go be with her, for all i care. i’m leaving.”
what am i doing?
“y/n, that’s not - ” historia began as she reached out to you, before eren stopped her.
“let me go talk to her, she’s not in her right head right now.” he was worried, he didn’t want you to go do something stupid because of him. you meant so much to him, he had to clear things up with you. he left historia standing there and followed you through the crowd. he asked around if people had seen you, some saying they had no idea who you were and others just ignoring him. he needed to find you. the thought of some guy taking advantage of you while you were this drunk and emotionally unstable made his blood boil.
he searched all the open rooms in the house, only to find that you weren’t there. the only place he could think of where you would’ve gone would be outside. when he opened the front door, he saw you sitting down at the curb, it looked like you were waiting for some ride. he felt relieved, finding you here instead of inside. 
“hey,” he whispered quietly before sitting beside you, leaving some space between the two of you just incase.
“go away, eren.” your held your knees to your chest, seeing him would only make you break down.
i need to leave.
“can you at least let me explain?” your lack of response pushed him to continue. “the text, i have no idea who sent it, i’m not lying. whoever it was, i told them i wasn’t single anymore. and i haven’t been seeing other girls. back there, i was talking to historia trying to figure out how to work things out with you, you mean too much to me. nothing else, i promise.”
you still didn’t respond, you didn’t know how to feel. you weren’t necessarily ready to talk to him about this yet. eren could tell, but he didn’t need to hear your response yet. he just wanted to explain his side of the story so you’d hopefully understand. along with your relationship, your entire friendship was on the line. he didn’t want to fuck that up over some random girl who wanted to get fucked. 
“i just wanna go home, eren.” you whimpered, bringing your head to your knees to hide your face.
“okay, i can drive you.” he offered.
“didn’t you drink? i don’t want you driving if you drank too much. i can uber it’s fine.”
“nah, i barely had a beer. i was too anxious anyways. plus, i don’t want you getting in the car with some creep.” he gave you an apologetic smile before standing up and reaching his hand out of you to grab. you looked up at him and latched your hand onto his as he hoisted you up onto your feet. you stumbled into his chest as he held you there. he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way but the way you gripped onto his shirt with your fingers with your soft whimpers, made his heart ache.
“c’mon, let’s get you home.” he brought his lips down to your forehead, not sure if it was okay to do. his hand traveled up to your back holding you against him, his heartbeat steadying. 
the car ride home was silent, but it was comforting. you both were gonna have to talk about this tomorrow once you were sober. you could feel yourself slowly drift off to sleep in the passenger seat of eren’s car.
once eren had arrived, he noticed that you still hadn’t stirred in your sleep. it was quite cute seeing you all cuddled up and he didn’t want to disturb you. he opened the door quietly and gently maneuvered you into his arms, carrying you bridal style through your complex and up to your apartment
he noticed that sasha still hadn’t returned from the party. you were cuddled up against his chest, breathing ever so softly. he smiled to himself, he was glad to have gotten that off of his chest earlier. 
he brought you into your room and gently set you down on the bed. sleeping in a dress would’ve been uncomfortable so he undressed you slowly, making sure not to wake you. he grabbed one of the oversized t-shirts that was on your desk when you had forgotten to do your laundry and he slid it over your form. he made sure to take off your makeup with the makeup remover that he had found in the bathroom. 
before he left, he made sure to tuck you in bed and shut off the lights. eren wasn’t sure if he should leave incase if anything happened in your drunken state. he looked over at you from the door. you looked so small, all cozy in your covers. your lips parted as you breathed in and out slowly.
he knew that he messed up earlier and gave you the wrong idea, but he’d do everything he could to make it right. you meant too much to him to be just one of those girls.
“goodnight, y/n.”
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taetaespeaches · 4 years
Text
“I didn’t think you’d care if I came back.”
yoongi x reader (or oc) genre: angst; fluff word count: 3.2K
a/n: Finally we have some fluff again! I mean, the angst is still here, but we’re getting to a resolution. This drabble is inspired by “this is me trying” off of Taylor Swift’s album, folklore, and it takes place after, “You know that I would ruin myself over and over again for you.” This also includes a hint of crack for some comic relief, and because where Jin and Poopsie go, crack follows. I hope you all enjoy, and thanks for reading! :)) 
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STEPPING into your apartment, returning home from work, your eyes scanned the small space with distaste. You dreaded coming home to your empty sofa and your empty kitchen and your very empty bed. Even more so, you hated the disappointment you felt in yourself for letting another person get so close to you that they started to feel like home.
Dropping your bag at the front door, you kicked your shoes off carelessly before making your way straight to the bathroom to take a shower. Your showers had been doubling in length, perhaps in hopes that the heat of the water would scald the past couple months right off your skin. Or maybe it was just to feel something other than the hurt.
It was just two months of your life. Why was it having such an impact? It had only been three days since Yoongi walked out, so you hoped it was just the newness of it all that had you feeling so hollow.
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Yoongi was just stopping by the dorm for a change of clothes and then he was heading back to the studio. He had spent three days straight in his studio, not even returning to the dorms after leaving your place. Whereas his fans would probably think he was working hard on the second Agust D mixtape, he was mostly just sulking.
He did what was best right? You said you were ruining yourself over him. He was ruining you. So, he left. He didn’t try to work it out, he left. For you. That way, you would have a chance at happiness with someone else. Someone more suitable for you. Someone who could give you what you deserve.
Walking toward his bedroom with his overnight bag in tow, the sound of his roommate’s squeaky laughter echoed through the hallway. Yoongi was suddenly very thankful for the isolation his studio provided, as he remembered Jin saying his girlfriend was visiting family for a few days so he wouldn’t get to see her right away upon returning to Korea from Japan. She must be back now.
“I don’t care if the whole game and franchise is named after Mario, Yoshi is hands down the best character in the Mario realm, and that’s just a fact,” her ranting sounded through the closed door, Jin interrupting her with overdramatic sound effects. Yoongi’s hand was on the doorknob and he had half a mind to ignore his need for a change of clothes and escape back to his studio before anyone noticed he was there.
“There wouldn’t even be a Yoshi if it weren’t for Mario because there would be no Mario franchise,” Jin shouted back, Yoongi’s motions still stalled as he stood on the other side of the door in disbelief. Fucking Mario? Really?
With a sigh, Yoongi opened the door, clearing his throat to alert the two idiots of his presence. Jin’s head popped up off the pillows, greeting Yoongi with an, “oh, hey,” his girlfriend sitting up from her spot next to Jin on the bed.
“Oh, Yoongi, thank god you’re here,” she exclaimed, Yoongi flashing her a surprised expression. “Tell Jin that Yoshi is the best Mario character.”
“That’s ridiculous and you know it,” Jin shouted with wide eyes, his girlfriend turning to look at him. “Yoshi can be your favorite character, but you can’t argue he’s the best.”
“Why can’t I?” She complained, Yoongi quickly losing all interest as he escaped to his side of the room, separated from the bickering couple by a large bookcase.
“Because it’s not called Super Yoshi, or Yoshi Kart,” Jin informed her. Yoongi hurried around his belongings, shoving some clothes into his bag so he could get back to this studio without being dragged back into the couple’s pointless disagreement.
“You’re so annoying,” she huffed, Jin laughing at her attitude.
Zipping the bag back up, Yoongi started toward the door, anxious to get out of the dorm, away from everyone.
“Aw, but I got you something in Japan,” Jin told his girlfriend. Her silence piqued Yoongi’s interest, for reasons unknown to Yoongi, enough for him to look back. She was looking at Jin with her eyebrows raised as Jin pulled out a Yoshi figure from his pocket. “It’s Yoshi!” Yoongi watched as the girl held back a smile, trying to keep up her challenging glare. “I may disagree with you, but I support you and your poor judgement,” Jin teased the girl, lowering himself onto his knees on the bed.
“I'm in love with you, so you may be on to something with the poor judgement thing,” the girl teased right back, taking the figure before cooing at it. “It’s so cute, thank you,” she told him, Yoongi quickly exiting the room.
Part of him found the two lovers cute. A much bigger part found them annoying and gross. Shoving their love in everyone’s faces. He felt like a bitter old man as he shuffled out of the dorm angrily. Why was it that Jin could manage a relationship? How was it that Jin could have his shit together, but Yoongi couldn't? And Hoseok for that matter. Hell, even Namjoon was seeing someone. Why couldn't Yoongi do the same? Making his way out of the building, you overtook his mind. You would have called him out on being a bitter old man. “Jesus, Grampa Min, stop being so grumpy,” he could hear you saying with a giggle. You’d probably even press a kiss to his forehead, flashing him a warm smile. All anger and bitterness dissipated from his body, leaving him sad and frustrated with himself, even more so than before.
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Another addition to the list of things you were growing to hate about your living space: it was cold. Bundled up in a large sweatshirt, baggy sweatpants, and colorful fluffy socks on your feet, you waited in the kitchen for your water to boil. All you wanted to do was have a cup of tea and plant yourself in front of the TV to waste away while watching the next Netflix series in your queue. Your still wet hair only made you colder, a shiver moving through your body, causing you to let out a groan.
You resisted the urge to check your phone. He surely hadn’t texted, and you didn’t feel like dealing with the pain that struck your heart every time you saw no notifications from him.
As you mindlessly played with the ends of your damped hair, a knock suddenly sounded on your door, and your heart dropped into your stomach. It had to be him. No one ever visited you at 6:30 pm on a Thursday night. You thought about not answering it, but when the knock sounded again, you convinced yourself you could be wrong. It could be someone else.
Then you caught yourself hoping it wasn't someone else.
Hesitantly, you opened the door, and if you weren’t so angry you would have cried at the sight in front of you.
Yoongi stood in your doorway, dark circles just as prominent as three days ago, eyes puffy and slightly red, one of his hands shoved into his pants pocket, the other hanging by his thigh as he held onto a bouquet of tulips.
Your eyes lingered on the flowers for a moment, not because you really cared about the gesture, but because the appearance of the man who had always been so composed before now looking so completely broken on your doorstep was almost too devastating for your heart to bear.
His eyes scanned your features desperately, though neither of you spoke. It was hard to find the words.
It felt like minutes passed by before Yoongi finally opened his mouth to say something, though he struggled to get the words out. “Kid, I-” he started, tears forming in his eyes.
“I don’t want your flowers if they come with disillusions,” you told him bitterly, holding onto your anger, despite the bubbling feeling of wanting to wrap him up in your arms.
Your eyes followed a tear as it slid off his plush cheek, the cheeks you adored so much, landing on the side of his hand. “If you want me to lay out all my mistakes right now, I will,” he told you sincerely, the comment taking you by surprise. “For starters, I shouldn’t have left. I should have fought with you, I should have stayed to finish that fight,” he said in frustration, partly to himself.
Maybe the words should have confused you, but you understood exactly what he was saying. For you both to express your frustrations with each other and with yourselves, the fight needed to happen. With Yoongi leaving, you didn’t get to the point of discussion following the anger. Instead, he walked away, as if you weren’t worth fighting with, or for.
“Why did it take you three days to come back?” You asked, a strange mixture of anger and sadness and hope swirling around your stomach.
“I didn’t think you’d care if I came back,” he admitted sadly, wiping his face with the back of his hand to get rid of the tears, the bouquet messing his fringe as it made contact with his forehead. He avoided eye contact, keeping his stare directed to your fuzzy sock-covered feet.
“Of course, I care,” you told him, taking a step back to allow him space to enter your apartment. His eyes followed the colorful fluffy material as you moved aside. “Now get in here so we can fight.”
You barely noticed the quirk in Yoongi's lip as it curved just slightly into the tiniest of smiles. He entered your apartment tentatively, and his presence already made it feel more like home again. You felt certain in that moment that no matter what room he walked into, it would feel like home.
Turning toward you, still avoiding your eyes but raising his gaze to your waist, he weakly held up the bouquet. "These are tulips," he told you dumbly, finishing the statement off with a sniffle.
You stared at him for a moment but he didn't continue. "I know," you finally said.
Another beat went by as you faced each other, a feeling of awkwardness enveloping the room. “They symbolize-" he started, just as the teapot started screaming in the kitchen.
“Hang on,” you told him, rushing to the kitchen to remove the pot from the stove, turning the burner off. For a moment, you thought about sitting in the kitchen for a moment to gather your thoughts, but with a vulnerable Min Yoongi standing just a few feet away, you found yourself hurrying back to him.  
“Sorry, what were you saying?” You asked, Yoongi looking to the side of the room.
“Tulips symbolize-”
"Yoongi,” you breathed out. “I don't care about the flowers right now, what are you doing here?" You cut him off, getting straight to the point.
"I want to fix this," he told you sincerely, lifting his gaze to meet yours.
You shrugged. "And how?" He stared at you for a moment, so you decided to continue. "I'm sick of feeling like I'm not wanted."
Yoongi quickly negated the comment, shaking his head. "I always want you."
"Then why do I feel unwanted by you?" Your volume raised as you asked the question, Yoongi appearing to hold his breath for a moment. Letting it out in a shaky breath, he looked back to your feet. "You say you want me but your actions say different, Yoongi. And you can't tell me how I feel, I feel unwanted."
"I'm sorry," he apologized quietly, lifting his gaze to meet your eyes. "I'm not trying to tell you how you feel, I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I made you feel that way," his voice broke.
"I don't want to hold this over your head, and I don't want you beating yourself up for it," you told him. "I just want you. But if I can't have you and feel good about myself and us, then I need to you to leave and I need you to stay gone." Speaking the words added cracks to your heart, but it also lifted a weight off your shoulders.
"I deal with a lot of shit," he suddenly said, your eyebrows pulling together in confusion. "Mentally. And that mixed with my work- I'm afraid of putting you through hell just because I'm selfish and want you," he told you with tears in his eyes. That’s what he’s afraid of? Putting his burdens on you? "I get so stuck in my head and I was in Japan and all I could think of was you and,” he sighed, looking into your eyes. “Fuck, Kid, I wanted to call you every moment I was gone. But that's for me, what am I giving you?" He shrugged hopelessly.
"You," you told him, your tears threatening to fall. "You're giving me you."
"And what's that worth?" His question shattered your heart. What's that worth?
"Baby, that's worth everything to me," you told him. "When you’re actually giving yourself to me, I feel more like myself. I feel braver and happier and-" looking back at the bouquet in his hands, you asked, "why tulips?"
He stalled for a moment, surprised by the question. "Right now?" Nodding at him, you bit back a grin. A faint smile appeared on his face, scoffing at himself. "Tulips can mean rebirth and forgiveness and true love, and I'm not saying we're in love,” he quickly backtracked. “I mean not yet, but we could be some day, and," he spoke slow but he was lost in his words, panicking over bringing up love, and the sight of him trying to find his way was enough to make you crack a smile. His speech faded out as he watched your face brighten just the slightest bit, a blush overtaking his plush cheeks. "I don't know what the fuck flowers mean, I don't know what I'm doing."
"That much is obvious," you teased, Yoongi letting out a single breathy chuckle at the comment.
"All I know how to do is care about you, Kid," he shrugged.
Tears forming in your eyes at his confession, you shook your head. "Then care about me."
"I'm trying," he told you, staring into your eyes. For a man who usually avoided eye contact, you were surprised by the sincerity he was trying to convey as he held your gaze. "I really am trying."
"I know," you nodded. And he was.  
"I wanted to protect you from me," he added, his orbs scanning your face. "But fuck, Kid, I can't stay away from you." You watched him thoughtfully as he spoke. "But when I saw the hurt in your face-" he paused to compose his emotions. "When you said you thought I left that morning," he shook his head. "That's when I first realized what I was doing to you."
"But you don't have to do that to me," you reminded him. "You don't have to protect me from you, I've told you I'm prepared to be with you regardless of your lifestyle and your work." Yoongi stared at you as you spoke, and you cocked your head at him. "I'm ok with the time apart and the late-night dates and the days where we can only fit a few texts in.”
“But are you ok with me? And everything that comes with me?” He asked. He was really asking, he needed the assurance.
“Of course, I am,” you told him definitively. “I want all of you. You don’t need to wear this mask around me, you don’t need to shield me from you. And you’re not the only one with demons,” you told him. “I want you and everything that comes with you. I’m just not ok with feeling like I'm always about to lose you."
"Baby," he whispered.
"I can't keep being afraid that every time you walk out the door, you might not come back," you whimpered, a tear falling down your cheek. "I need assurance too, I need to know you're in this with me as much as I am with you." Yoongi nodded quickly.
"If you want me here, I'm here," he assured you, sincerity coating his words.
"I want you here," you told him. Yoongi suddenly tossed the bouquet onto the table before approaching you. His arms wrapped around your body before you could react, your arms slowly folding over him, holding him close to you as he buried his face in your hair. You felt a kiss on the top of your head, your body responding by relaxing against his frame, turning your face to nuzzle it against his neck. "I'm sorry for the shit I said," you mumbled against his cool skin, still slightly cold from the night air.
"Don't apologize," he whispered into your hair.
"I didn't mean the mean shit," you added, Yoongi chuckling at the obvious pout on your lips.
"You were hardly mean, Kid," he told you, pulling away just a bit to look down at you with a soft smile, his eyes glistening in emotion.
“Well, I’ll never mean the mean shit,” you said with a small smile.
"I missed you,” he told you as he wiped the fallen tears off your cheeks.
"I missed you too," you whispered. “We were supposed to fight, you know,” you added teasingly.
“That wasn’t a fight?” He questioned in feigned surprise. “We still can if you want,” he playfully responded, his eyes widened humorously.
“You came in here trying to explain flower symbolization and I just couldn’t get mad at you,” you giggled, Yoongi smiling adorably just before pushing his lips to yours, giving you a sweet kiss. Before you could deepen it, he pulled away again.
"Yoshi or Mario?"
"What?” You questioned in utter confusion. “Min, I'm trying to make out with you," you complained with a look of dissatisfaction, Yoongi smiling fondly at the expression. With a sigh, you said, "Yoshi, obviously, what do you think I am, an idiot?" Yoongi laughed fully at the comment, his shoulders shaking as he flashed you that adorable gummy smile you were so obsessed with. "Why?" you asked through a small laugh, "what about you?"
"Honestly, I could not care less," he smiled, now your turn to laugh.
"I love that about you," you told him through your big grin.
"My roommate, Jin, thinks Mario is better," he told you, you raising your eyebrows in response. "I think you should come by the dorm to put him in his place. Maybe meet all the other guys too?"
You smiled widely as you nodded. "I'd love to," you said softly, Yoongi nodding before leaning in to kiss you again. "I mean, for Yoshi's honor," you whispered right before his lips pressed to yours.
"Of course," he giggled against your mouth. Pulling back just slightly, Yoongi stared at you for a moment, his eyes appreciating your every feature slowly, taking his time, as you did the same with him. Wrapping his arms around the back of your neck, he tugged you closer to him to hold you against his body once again. "Jin's a moron but remind me to thank him one of these days," he whispered against your temple.
"I will," you giggled. "But for what?"
"For having his shit together."
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a-cupof-jo · 3 years
Text
Summer End, Love Begin
Intern!Jeno x Intern!reader
fluff and light angst
words: 3.2K
warnings: drunkenness
~~
Y/n starts a summer internship with NCT Inc. and quickly learns that summer heartbreak comes in the form of Lee Jeno.
~~
“I love you,” a hiccup fell through his lips. His body was pressed into your side. It would be a lie if you said that the words didn’t make your heart jump. Lee Jeno was nothing short of a heart throb. Smart, handsome, kind, he was the definition of a perfect person. You had known that from the first moment you walked through the doors to NCT Inc.
All of the interns had been ushered into a room and told to mingle as you waited to be directed to your mentors and teams. A boy sat next to you, glasses perched on his nose and a smile gracing his face.
“Hi, I’m Jeno, HR Intern,” he reached out a hand for you to shake.
“Y/n L/n, Talent Acquisition Intern,” you grinned back at him as he released your hand. “Sounds like we’ll be seeing a lot of each other here in the future.” Jeno nods in agreement as the internship director stood in front of the group.
“We are so glad to bring you all on,” he clasped his hands, smiling and nodding at you all. “Many of you already know me, Johnny Suh. I work primarily with the TA Interns, but I'll help you all get settled your first couple of weeks. So now that you know me, we'll get you all separated into teams and you can be on your way!” He read down the list separating out management, IT and accounting interns. Jeno had settled in next to you as three other boys also moved close to you guys. “Jeno, Y/n, and Mark you guys will be collaborating throughout the summer. Make sure you guys get to know each other well over the week. Mark, Jeno, you can go meet up with Taeil and Doyoung. Y/n you’re staying with me.”
You nodded to both of them as they started to leave. Mark grinned and Jeno smiled back, “It was nice to meet you, Y/n. We’ll exchange information later.” You willed yourself not to blush as he threw back one last smile before exiting the room.
“No, Jeno, you don’t,” you shifted him so his head was resting more on your shoulder. “There is someone else you love.”
Mark and Jeno got along instantly and it didn’t take long for you to get integrated into their new friendship. Mark was boisterous and a go-getter whereas Jeno was quieter but had equally as important input on tasks and projects you were placed to work on together.
“Jeno?” Mark inquired. Jeno’s signature eye smile made way on his face, “I’ll be there.”
“So I was thinking,” Mark spun the pencil in his hand as he leaned back in his chair. “We are about done with this assignment. Why don’t we get together for a celebration after it’s completed. I already talked to Donghyuck and Jaemin and both of their teams are almost done. We were thinking of doing it for all the management interns.”  
“That sounds great!” You glanced up from the paperwork. You grin at the excitement on Mark’s face. “Send me the details once you get them figured out.”
A week later you had shown up outside a small house with light shining through the window and music drifting through the air. You knocked on the door waiting for a response. A tall, lanky boy opened the door and gave you a small grin. “Hey Jisung,” you greeted him as you walked through the doorway. “Sorry I’m a bit late, Johnny needed me to finish up some documents.”
“Oh, Jeno’s got a crush,” you heard someone singsong from the other room.
“Please, Donghyuck,” you hear Jeno plead.
“Oh, you should hear him at work. Do you think she’ll stop by today? Do you think that she’ll like my project plan? Barf,” Mark had joined in the teasing. You felt your heart drop as you listened to them talk. The small crush you had been harboring on Jeno had grown exponentially in the 5 weeks you had been working together. Did you like him in that you would date him if he asked? Absolutely. Did you think he would ever ask? Not now.
“Y/n?” Jisung said quietly from beside you. You hummed at him, “Are you okay? Do you need me to get you water or tylenol?”
“I’m fine, Jisung,” you gave him a tight smile. “Why don’t you lead me to the others? It sounds like we’re all going to be making fun of Jeno.”  Jisung didn’t look convinced as he led you to the living room. “I heard we were making fun of Jeno.” You forced a smile on your face as you sat next to him. “So who’s this crush of yours I’m hearing about?” You pinched his cheeks as he blushed at you. “Oh, I bet it’s Kim Yerim from IT!”
Jeno pushed at your hands, “Y/n, not you too.” He pouted as the group laughed. You couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t deny it and instead his cheeks turned a darker shade of red.
The following weeks felt awkward. Maybe you were the only one who felt it because Mark and Jeno were acting the same as always. Well, Mark was acting weird and Jeno was ignoring him. You couldn’t help but catch the looks Mark was sending Jeno’s way.
You were running late one morning when you overheard part of a conversation you knew you weren’t supposed to be a part of.
“When are you going to ask her?” Mark stood at his seat shuffling the papers sitting in front of him.
What did Jisung see? You thought you had heard that Yerim had been recently broken up with. Maybe that’s what Mark was talking about. Now would be Jeno’s chance to swoop in. You felt your heart ache as you paused a moment before pushing through the door. “Hey guys,” you grinned at the two of them. “Let’s get this started.”
“Never,” Jeno shrugged, but the question in his voice gave way to his thoughts.  
“Dude,” Mark looked up at him with surprise in his eyes. “You were there when Jisung told us what he saw. You’ve got the chance now.”
You raised an eyebrow at Jeno the second time you caught him staring at you. “Are you feeling okay, Y/n?” Mark raised his eyes in concern as Jeno’s words met your ears.
You glanced between the two of them before sighing, “Just a headache. It’ll pass soon.”
Jeno reached down to the bag he had sitting by his feet, “Here,” he handed a bottle across the table. “We can’t have the best member of our team sick.” His eyes smiled at you as you grabbed the bottle and gave him a small smile. As you swallowed down the pills, you accepted that even if Jeno never liked you back that getting over was going to be the hardest part of this summer.
“Whad are you takin bout,” Jeno’s eyebrows furrowed as he stared at you. His eyes held onto the drunken haze he was in and you couldn’t help but sigh as hair drooped down into his eyes. “I really…” His voice faded out as he looked out at the river. Shaking his head he looked back to you, “I really, really like you.”
“If you really mean that, then tell me that when you’re sober,” you pushed the hair out of his eyes.
As you neared his apartment building, Jeno tried to lean in closer to you, “Why d'nt cha believe me?”
You watched as he punched in the building code, his fingers fumbling over the keys, “You would have never said all this if you were sober, Jeno. You are letting the alcohol get to your head.” You helped him get to the elevator. The doors opened almost instantly. “You can get to your apartment from here?” You looked up at him.
“Don’t leave,” Jeno grabbed your hand as you turned away from him. “Please, don’t say goodbye tonight.” Jeno’s eyes were pleading with you.
You shook your head as you stepped out of his reach. He didn’t like you. The alcohol on his brain did. “Jeno, you know I can’t.” Tears stung at your eyes. Oh, how you wanted to stay with him, to believe his alcohol induced words. “I’ll see you on Monday. Make sure you drink lots of water and take some tylenol.” You turned quickly out the doors rushing down the street before you could turn back around and accept his invitation.
“I can’t believe this is our second to last week,” Mark ran a hand through his hair. “I mean, it’s crazy, this doesn’t feel like it should end.”
“Maybe it won’t,” Jeno grinned as he typed away at his laptop. “Some of us are bound to be put on as full time employees. You and Lucas from IT are probably going to get offers.”
“But it won’t be the same,” Mark whined as he draped himself across the desk. “Neither one of you will be there. What am I supposed to do without the bomb squad?”
“What?” You laughed as you watched Mark, “The bomb squad?”
“Yeah, that our team name,” Mark looked at you confused.
“I wasn’t aware of this,” Jeno threw a look at you.
“Me either,” you shrugged.
“Here have mine,” Jeno handed over the umbrella in his hand.
“Well now you know,” Mark nodded as he glanced down at his computer screen. His face lit up as an email notification sounded from the computer. He giggled as he typed out a response and turned to both of you. “Donghyuck’s throwing another get together this Friday. He says that it’s one last internship hooray before we all have to present our summer projects this upcoming week. You guys can’t say no. I will drag you there myself if I have to.” You rolled your eyes teasingly at Jeno before agreeing to Donghyuck’s party.
\
You shook your head at him, “Jeno, I can’t take that. You’ll get all wet.” Unexpected showers had made the end of your Friday workday dreary. You had stood under the office building awning for 10 minutes waiting for the rain to lighten up when Jeno had stepped up next to you. Both of you had stood there watching it for another few minutes before Jeno pulled out an umbrella and held it out for you.
“It’s okay. I’ll just run to my car,” he motioned out to the parking lot. “It’s not that far.”
“Jeno, really I can’t.” You pushed the umbrella back towards him.
“Well then at least let me walk you to your car,” he pleaded with you. You nod at him and he grinned, opening his umbrella and letting you step under it with him.
You unlocked your car as you two stepped up next to it, “Thank you.” You voice quietly carried over the rain.
“Of course,” Jeno looked stunning standing under the umbrella watching as you entered your vehicle. “I’ll see you tonight, right?”
“I’ll be there,” and his smile lit up the overcast sky as you stared at him.
You woke up to a headache and the sound of a buzzing phone. The phone on the nightstand slipped onto the floor as you rolled over to reach for it. The buzzing continued as you laid on your bed face down on a pillow. It was Thursday and the entire week Jeno refused to talk to you much less look at you. Everyone was starting to see the tension between the two of you and were starting to approach you about it. First was Jaemin, the nosy marketing intern who claimed that Jeno was sad because of you. Next was Donghyuck and Mark, they had cornered you during lunch break and tried to force out of you whatever happened between you and Jeno Friday night. They wouldn’t accept the truth of nothing happening. Jisung didn’t approach you, but would let his stare linger on you, making you feel less than comfortable sitting at your desk. Perhaps the worst person who asked you about Jeno, didn’t even approach you and you hadn’t been expecting him to pick up on you and Jeno’s strained relationship.
“Why aren’t you guys talking,” Lucas had blurted out, causing the meeting you were sitting in to come to a stand still. Confused and amused looks were sent his way, “Jeno, hasn’t even talked about Y/n at all this week.”
“Lucas, I don’t think this is the ti-” Taeyong the founder of NCT Inc. stood at the head of the table.
“I knew something was wrong when Jeno called me first thing Saturday asking what happened the night before,” Renjun commented from down the table. With those words all of your questions surrounding Jeno were answered. Your eyes fluttered shut as you willed away tears.
You opened your eyes to see your mentor sitting across from you with a concerned look in his eyes. A cough sounded down the table and you minutely shook your head at him. He grimaced but didn’t say anything.
“He did the same thing to me,” Donghyuck’s loud voice carried through the room. You stared down at the table listening as others gave confirmation of the same thing.
“Why didn’t you believe me?” Your head snapped up as Jeno’s voice reached your ears, “Why don’t you believe me? Sober minded or not, Y/n, I love you.” You listened to a gasp go up around the room. “You told me to tell you when I was sober. You wouldn’t believe me any other way. So, here I am, telling you infront of all our mentors and friends, completely sober, I love you.” You stared at him completely slack jawed. You tried to form words but your voice wouldn’t come, “I knew that I was going to fall for you the moment that I met you. And how could I not have when I was working with a talented, smart, beautiful person like yourself.”
“Jeno,” your whispered voice sounded strangled.
Jeno stumbled into his apartment. You had left him. Turned your back and ran. He couldn’t blame you. If you didn’t like him then he’s not going to force you into anything. You had looked so broken when he had spoken the words he wanted to tell you from weeks ago. It wasn’t even three weeks into this internship that he decided that he was taken by you. A week later he confessed to Mark that he was crushing, hard. You never treated him any differently then your other co-workers, and so Jeno knew you just viewed him as a close friend. That is, until Jisung said that he thinks you like him. Jeno denied it on all accounts, but then Mark got involved and got Jeno’s hopes even higher.
He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes so high. There was no way you liked him back. That was clear tonight when you had rejected his confession several times. Jeno laid back on his bed,head already pounding and stomach churning. His phone rang in his pocket. He didn’t check the ID as he answered it. “This is Jeno,” he tried in his clearest voice possible.
“Jeno!” Lucas’s voice boomed through the phone causing Jeno to cringe. “Did you make it home okay?”
“Define okay?”
“Are you sitting in your apartment with minimal to no bleeding, bruises, or wounds of any sort?”
“Physical or emotional?”
“Dude, what’s going on? Are you okay or not?”
“Lucas, I think I got rejected tonight,” his voice slurred over the phone.
“Shit,” Lucas breathed. “By Y/n?” Jeno hummed in confirmation. “Did she say specifically that she doesn’t feel the same way?”
“I… I don’t think so, but she said that I shouldn’t be telling her that and that I couldn’t actually mean it.”
“Jeno, you just have to go for it,” Mark turned to him while they sat alone in the conference room. “You can’t give her the cold shoulder and expect her to know that that means you have the hots for her.”
“Try again,” Lucas sounded distracted and further away, “Make a note, tell her again when you can think clearly and have good judgement.” Jeno reached for the pad of paper that sat on his bedside table jotting down ‘tell her’ before flopping back down on the bed, but before his head hit the pillow he was out.
\
Jeno glared at him, “I know. I’m just scared. She’s already rejected me before. I’m sure of it, but I don’t know what I’d do if she rejected me when I can remember.”
“Jeno, you can’t worry about that,” Jisung slipped through the door. “Both of you are miserable and the only way to fix this is to talk. If you don’t do it soon. We will.”
Jeno wasn’t expecting the group to dump it on him in the middle of a meeting. Especially one with their mentors and the owner and founder of NCT Inc. and if he hadn’t seen the look on your face when he gave the soft spoken confession he would be mortified.
You hadn’t realized you had stood up until you heard a voice clearing down the table. Doyoung sat with a conflicted look on his face, “Why don’t we break for lunch.” He along with the others stood up quickly before leaving the room.
Jeno stood from the other side of the table and quickly walked around the table. You reached out and stopped him before he was right in front of you, “I…You never gave any indication that you liked me. How was I supposed to believe you,” your voice softly carried over to him.
“I thought I gave you plenty of hints, getting you drinks, giving you aspirin, walking you to your car.”
“I thought that you were just being nice! I’ve seen you do that with Mark and Renjun, and Jisung. How was I supposed to know that you meant it differently for me?”
Jeno’s small smile dropped further off his face contemplation taking its place, “I guess there was no way for you to know. You never said anything either. You haven’t said anything.” He looked nervous, scared, ready to put his walls up.
You took a deep breath before grabbing his hands, “Jeno, I really, really like you.” You watched as Jeno’s face pinched, “Just give me a little bit. It won’t be hard to fall in love with you. Believe me I am already on the way there.”
Jeno grinned as you finished your words and without hesitation, scooped you into a large hug. “Y/n, you don’t know how happy you’ve made me. When I woke up Saturday morning and saw a note reminder. You don’t know how scared I was. I was going to talk to you on Monday, but you looked so on edge. I just didn’t know what to do.”
“I’m happy too,” you pulled slightly away from him. “I thought that you really didn’t mean it. It took you all week. I thought that I had ruined our friendship.”
“No, of course you didn’t,” he pulled you back into him. “I was just so nervous. I really, really like you, Y/n.”
“And I you.” You smiled up at him. He grinned down before bending down to kiss you. His lips moved against your gently before he leaned away. You preased your forehead to his shoulder, “Do you want to go get lunch together?”
“You know they’re all going to jump us once we get out there, right.” he let his arms drop away from you and instead grabbed your hand.
You shrugged, “Yeah, but maybe we can just convince Taeyong to buy us lunch, call it a company lunch-in.”
“You’re so smart,” Jeno grinned and pulled open the door. “But, how about we just go get our own lunch. I only want to be with you.”
~~
Repost from previous blog
~~
tag list: @qianinterprises @stayctday
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woolishlygrim · 3 years
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So, with the new Madoka Magica thing coming, I watched Rebellion again, and was reminded of how interesting and thematically rich the weird, surreal transformation sequences from that movie are.
So I looked up some people’s analyses of the sequence, and those analyses were, you know, really bad. Luckily, I’m a relaxed person who can let things go and doesn’t feel the burning need to waste a lot of time analysing a one-and-a-half minute sequence from an eight year old movie.
...
...
1) Mami.
Mami is really straightforward. As the transformation sequence starts, she’s doing an ice dance, a kind of dance that strives to create the impression of free movement, grace, and creative expression but which is actually governed by incredibly rigid rules, not unlike how Mami attempts to foster an external presentation of effortless, free-spirited grace, while binding herself to a rigid code of behaviour.
As she moves into her final spin, she folds up one leg, forming the shape of a grief seed, which her magical girl form tears its way out of, breaking her back open as it goes. This is some incredibly literal symbolism: For Mami, who made her wish solely to escape death while the rest of her family died and later threw herself into being a magical girl, her magical girl persona literally tore its way out of her grief, breaking the person she was before.
Her back breaking also ties back to her death in the series, as Bebe crushed her in its jaws.
2) Kyoko.
Kyoko has an excitable, fast-paced dance to pretty straightforwardly represent her excitable, wild personality. As the sequence goes on, she sprouts a multitude of arms, waving about her, in what is almost certainly a reference to Guanyin, the Goddess of Mercy. Apart from referencing Kyoko’s selfless wish to help her father, and her act of mercy-killing Sayaka, Guanyin was typically conflated with the Virgin Mary, with statues of Mary disguised as Guanyin and a cult of 'Maria Kannon’ having formed around her at one point. Giving that her father was apparently a priest excommunicated for heresy, it’s entirely plausible that heresy was the veneration of Maria Kannon.
Next we see a man’s hand reach for Kyoko’s face. This is almost certainly Kyoko’s father’s hand, reaching for her either in affection or in anger after killing the rest of their family. We see Kyoko split into multiple images, referencing her now lost power of duplicating herself, before the scene is torn open by a demonic, red-eyed, terrifying looking Kyoko. This is the one bit of symbolism in this sequence that has me completely stumped. A representation of how Kyoko sees herself, maybe? Or perhaps a representation of how her father saw her.
3) Sayaka.
Winning the prize for ‘least disturbing,’ we’ve got Sayaka, who kicks off her transformation by break-dancing, as coloured silhouettes mimic her movements at a slight time delay. The break-dancing itself is just a reference to her athleticism, but what’s interesting is that some of the silhouettes occasionally flicker to black with spots of oily colour, the pattern of a soul gem just before it becomes a Witch, referencing Sayaka’s fate in the original timeline of becoming the Witch Oktavia.
As the transformation ends, a silhouette of Sayaka as a schoolgirl sprints (with perfect form, again referencing her athleticism) at a silhouette of herself as a magical girl, the two colliding and splattering like water. There’s a general running theme of water in this one, referencing Oktavia again. As the two colours mix, a liquid version of Sayaka as a magical girl emerges, and for a split-second we see her cry into her hands, representing her regret at becoming a magical girl.
This one is almost as simple as Mami’s, all told.
4) Homura.
The most symbolically rich and also probably the most disturbing. As Homura starts, we see her holding her soul gem, which for a split-second flashes to an artistic representation of a scene later in the movie: The forest of lanterns that Homura and Kyoko end up passing through when they’re trying to leave town. 
Homura’s dance is a ballet dance, representing how ... let me check my notes here ... she’s a ballet dancer. Like Sayaka, she has a silhouette following her at a time delay, but unlike Sayaka, her silhouette isn’t actually perfectly mimicking her movements, instead deviating at points. This is probably playing triple duty on the symbolism side: Homura is at this point both magical girl and Witch, both the original Homura and the new universe’s Homura, and is in two minds about what she wants to do. 
As the transformation goes on, the white silhouette gets caught in a film reel, repeating her infinitely, while the purple silhouette is still and singular: The purple silhouette is the new universe’s Homura, while the white silhouette is the original timeline’s, repeating the same period of time over and over again. 
We get another short shot of a future part of the film, this time the rising lanterns that lead up above the city, which will eventually be transformed into the arch and castle where Homura becomes a Witch.
This transitions to a silhouetted, yellow-eyed version of Homura (the ‘lizard-girl’ she figuratively becomes) bursting into patterns as Homura escapes from it, reaching for something, before transitioning to a pair of glowing hands grasping around a soul gem. The colour grading makes the soul gem look purple, making it look like Homura’s, but it’s actually not: Homura’s soul gem is visible on one of the glowing hands. This is actually Madoka’s soul gem that Homura is grasping at.
After a split-second shot of some very sinister witch text, we cut back to Homura, who segues into some more ballet moves before her striking her pose. These actually aren’t just any ballet moves, though: She’s dancing the death of Odette at the end of Swan Lake. At the end of Swan Lake, Odette dies and ascends to heaven, freeing the other swan maidens from the grip of Rothbart. It’s a very close match to someone’s story, but that someone is Madoka, not Homura: Homura’s mimicry of Madoka/Odette casts her in the role of Odile, the Black Swan (whose costume Homura wears as part of her devil attire later on in the movie), who imitates Odette and in doing so steals her purpose from her. This is some really heavy foreshadowing for the end of the movie.
5) Madoka.
Madoka’s dance is styled after the pop dances of idols, figuratively representing her as Homura’s ‘idol,’ (and potentially tying in to ideas of the artificiality of Jpop idols: This both is and isn’t Madoka, after all, it’s a mask that the real Madoka is wearing). 
After the dance, the transformation cuts to the same film reel Homura was stuck in, but this time with an endless line of paper dolls of Madoka. This is pulling double duty for symbolism here: The dolls are both the many iterations of Madoka that Homura has seen in her time loops, and the infinite iterations of Madoka that exist in the moment of every magical girl becoming a Witch -- we actually see an almost identical scene elsewhere, in Ultimate Madoka’s transformation in Magia Record, with the key difference being those Madokas are real, whereas these ones are a chain of paper dolls, hinting at Homura’s view of those Madokas as being ‘not fully real.’ The Madoka she knew is gone, and Ultimate Madoka both is Madoka and is just a pale imitation.
We cut from there to grainy, close-up images of Madoka. The angle of these suggest that we’re seeing through someone’s eyes, and we are: These are Homura’s memories of the ‘real’ Madoka. As we watch, a glowing hand breaks through, shattering the images like a mirror. A lot of people have assumed this is Madoka’s hand, but it’s not: We’ve already seen this exact glowing hand, in Homura’s transformation, because it’s Homura’s hand, reaching for Madoka. As if to confirm this, behind the hand we see buzzing stripes of colours for just a moment: The same ever-shifting rainbow shades as Devil Homura’s eyes briefly turn.
Madoka is revealed, peering through her hands in a way that mimics the floating eyes of Kyubey outside the isolation field they’re all trapped in. Like Kyubey, Madoka is a godlike being who exists beyond the world that Homura has created here.
Whew. Okay, that’s all five. We get Bebe’s transformation later, and the symbolism there is that she likes cake and shit.
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Just What I Needed: Part 3
A/N: get ready for this freaking rollercoaster. As many of you know, this is the next part in the AFTR series and in typical me fashion, turn out way longer than I intended it to be. Enjoy. ☺️
Thank you my dear @andrei-svech​ for beta reading and listening to me yell about this.
Word Count: 12.8k... ffs
You knew you were awake. You sensed too much going on for you not to be, and yet, you still were unable to open your eyes.
"Do you know how far along she is in her pregnancy?" A female voice you didn't recognize spoke up, sounding much louder than the various beeps and shuffles you also heard.
"14 weeks," Auston replied, his voice husky. The way his voice sounded whenever he was really upset about something. "Closer to 15 weeks now. Do you know what caused this?"
"Fainting isn't uncommon with pregnant women," a male voice stated. "Dehydration, drops in blood pressure, there's a couple of different reasons as to why this could have happened. We won't know for sure, what exactly, until she sees a doctor."
"I'm more concerned over the fact that she hasn't woken up yet," the woman said.
That's when you decided you needed to open your eyes, and as soon as you did, your gaze fell on Auston.
He looked rough, and that's putting it nicely. His hair was messy, it was evident that he'd been running his hands through it like he always does when he's anxious, and his eyes were red and puffy. He was gripping onto your right hand as he watched another man and woman that were also in the small space as they did something off in a corner.
It was then you realized the man and woman were paramedics, and you were lying on a stretcher in an ambulance. Panic didn't take too long settling in after that.
"Auston?" Your voice cracked as you went stiff in realization and immediately gripped onto his hand for reassurance, his gaze moving to you right away. "Wait. Where's Mia?"
You went to sit up, suddenly on high alert after realizing your daughter wasn't with you but had to stop when you felt the now-familiar wave of lightheadedness wash over you again.
"Woah, take it easy, baby," Auston said as he gave you a look, silently pleading that you didn't fight him on this. You didn't. Instead, you slowly laid back down because you trusted that he would answer your question once you weren't so worked up, and he did. "Mia is ok. She's at home with my family. My parents are going to meet us at the hospital once you get checked over. I asked them to stay at the house to make sure Mia was ok after everything."
You nodded in response. What he said made you feel better in a way, but you were unable to keep your emotions from taking over still.
"Did she see me faint?" You asked quietly, blinking back the tears you felt welling up in your eyes as you did.
Auston paused, then sighed.
"She did."
"Shit."
Before Auston could respond again, and you could get too in your thoughts, the female paramedic approached the two of you cautiously and cleared her throat. Once you looked at her, she smiled softly before looking to Auston and nodding.
"Hi, Y/N," she greeted. "How are you feeling?"
"Not great," you admitted as Auston lifted your hand that was still linked with his up to his lips and gently kissed your knuckles. "Tired. Kind of just want to be back home, to be completely honest."
"That's understandable. We're almost at the hospital. As soon as a doctor sees you and makes sure everything is ok, you should be able to go home very soon."
You smiled and nodded at her reassurance.
"Thank you. How long was I passed out for?"
"We weren't very far from your house when we got the call for you," the male paramedic chimed in. "Auston said you fainted, maybe five or six minutes before we got there. So about twenty minutes, give or take."
"Lovely," you sighed, then looked at Auston tiredly.
"You scared the shit out of me," he told you, not in a way to make you feel bad, but to let you know how genuinely worried he was about you. "Mia is probably pissed at me right now."
"Why would she be?"
"When she saw you faint, she was worried about you, but I panicked. I asked Bre to take her out of the room so she wouldn't have to see you like that, and she was so upset, babe. She was still crying when we left the house."
Your heart broke hearing that. Not only at the thought of Mia being upset after seeing you faint, but also how hard the entire situation must've been on Auston and his family.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, not being able to stop the tears welling in your eyes again. "I-I should've just gone to the hospital earlier when my doctor said she couldn't get me in until tomorrow. I knew something was wrong. I had that feeling, fuck!"
"Y/N, you had no way of knowing this is what would happen. Please don't be so hard on yourself," he reasoned with you while giving your hand another little squeeze. "I, uh, I kind of dropped a bomb on everyone too."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm sorry. I know this isn't how we wanted anyone to find out, but, in my panicked state, my mom was trying to calm me down, and without even thinking, I told her that you were pregnant again."
"To be fair, it's best that you did because we needed to know to be able to tend to her properly," the male paramedic spoke up again. "And, sorry to interrupt, but we are approaching the hospital."
"You ready?" Auston asked and reached towards you to gently push your hair out of your face. He then tried to give you a reassuring smile, although you could easily see through his facade.
It was apparent that he was as anxious as you were, but he had already been so brave and strong for you. The least you could do was be the same for him.
"As long as I have you by my side, I'm ready for anything."
Once you were taken into the hospital, it wasn't long before you were seeing a doctor. She was a lovely woman, but you couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable because you hated going to the hospital. You much preferred going to your own doctor. You always felt comfortable with her regardless of the situation, whereas anything else felt foreign. But luckily, you had Auston there.
At first, the E.R. doctor was a little confused by what would've caused your fainting. She was able to see how your last doctor's appointment went and that you seemed to be in perfect health. She then read how low your blood pressure was from when the paramedics checked it in the ambulance while you were still passed out. That was pretty concerning.
She explained to you and Auston that your fainting could've been caused by Dehydration, which was most common, but she wanted to test your blood to see if anything else came up. And sure enough, something did.
The doctor was able to get you a rapid test, so about half an hour after she finished taking some blood, she came back into the room and explained that your blood had a lower than average amount of red blood cells, which is tied to iron deficiency. In other words, you were diagnosed with anemia.
Being told that absolutely terrified you. It was the last thing you wanted to hear, and with the way Auston was physically pale when you glanced over at him, you could tell he was feeling the same way.
However, the doctor then explained how your anemia was more than likely just related to your pregnancy. It was more than likely that it would no longer be an issue once your baby was born, but it did pose some possible negative effects on the baby if not treated properly.
Your chances of having a premature birth, a baby with low birth weight, as well as postpartum depression, were much higher because of this. Again, not something you or Auston wanted to hear, but the doctor quickly said how the addition of an iron supplement with your prenatal vitamins should help keep things relatively at bay. She said it was likely that you may still feel dizziness, fatigue and other symptoms at times throughout your pregnancy, but keeping your iron levels up would help that. She then told you to see your doctor still the following day and said to take things easy before running a quick ultrasound to check on the baby.
Roughly an hour and a half after you arrived at the hospital, you were allowed to finally go back home, which was the best news you'd heard all night.
Not many words were exchanged between you and Auston as the two of you sat in the waiting room until his parents got there to pick you both up. There wasn't much that could be said. The two of you were still processing everything you had just been told, and it was a damn hard pill to swallow. So, instead of talking about it, the two of you sat in silence. You leaned against each other for the support neither of you could give verbally at the time.
The moment Ema and Brian entered the emergency room, you broke down. You knew, as a mother herself, Ema would understand how you were feeling, and it was not long before she was rushing over to you and Auston, then pulling you into her embrace.
Auston was the one to explain the news as you just cried it out a little bit, while Ema let you hold onto her. She kept assuring that everything was going to be ok, but for the first time in a long time, you were almost positive it wasn't.
That feeling of dread you already had was much more prominent than before, and now Auston was feeling something similar as well.
You both apologized to his parents for them finding out about the new baby the way that they did, but Brian quickly shut that down by telling you and Auston that it didn't matter how they found out. All that mattered was that you were ok, and so was the baby.
Neither of you could argue with that, and soon after, the four of you agreed it was time to go home and headed to the car.
When you all got back to the house, you were surprised to learn that Mia was asleep. It was close to an hour before her usual bedtime, but after you and Auston walked through the front and entered the living room, you found her passed out while laying against Alex on the couch.
"She just fell asleep," Auston's older sister spoke quietly as she greeted you both with a small smile and started gently rubbing Mia's head. "She was so exhausted. I didn't have the heart even to try to keep her awake."
"No, it's ok. Thank you," you replied softly, but before you could say anything else, Bre was bursting into the room and pulling you into a hug.
"Oh, my god, Y/N," she said as you hugged her back, then pulled away to look at you again. "How are you feeling? Are you alright?"
"Better now that I'm home with you guys," you told her, then bent down to pet Frank, who was looking up at you excitedly.
As you talked with her, Auston hung both of your coats up in the foyer's closet before coming back into the living room and gently picking up Mia.
Even in her sleeping state, Mia cuddled right up against her dad as he held her against his chest and your heart swelled when he turned back to look at you and Bre.
"I'll go put her to bed," he whispered, trying hard not to wake her up. But, before he walked past you and Bre, he stopped when he saw you looking at Mia. You smiled at him thankfully, because you knew that he stopped so you could kiss Mia goodnight, like you always did.
When you looked at her all snuggled in Auston's arms as she slept, you could feel yourself getting emotional. Immediately, you noticed how her eyes were still a little wet from what you assumed was her crying, which absolutely broke your heart. You hated that with everything you went through that night, Mia also suffered from it and some way. However, as you felt yourself beginning to get worked up over it, you took a deep breath to let yourself calm down, then leaned in to push some of Mia's little curls away from her face and placed a soft peck on her forehead.
"Goodnight, baby girl," you said quietly, then looked to Auston before reaching up to peck his lips too. "I love you."
"And I love you," he responded before kissing you again then glancing at his two sisters. "I'll be right back."
You watched him leave the room, then you and Bre joined Alex on the couch and began properly catching up, seeing as you hadn't been able to do that yet.
The two of them, along with Ema and Brian, were thrilled about the news about you being pregnant, which you knew they would be, but you were still really bummed over how they found out about their new family member. However, no one dwelled on that at all or pressed you about what you were told at the hospital. Instead, you were able to cuddle on the couch with your husband as you watched ELF with his family before eventually calling it a night.
~*~
The following day, Christmas Eve Eve, was rather hectic. But not necessarily in a bad way.
When you woke up, no one else was awake yet. The house was quiet, and there was no sound coming from Mia's room through the monitor. All that could be heard was the small breaths Auston let out as he slept next to you and the groan Frank made as he shifted his position from where he laid at the end of your bed.
Everything was peaceful and felt right. It was exactly what you needed after everything that happened the night before, but that soon changed.
As you waited for a sign of someone else being awake, you reached over to grab your phone from where it rested on your bedside table and opened up Twitter. You were scrolling for all of three seconds before realizing that 'Auston Matthews' was trending.
Curious about what could be trending regarding your husband, you clicked on a thread to see what it was all about. Surprisingly, a lot of it was about you.
It turned out that your trip to the hospital the night before didn't go unnoticed. A handful of tweets said how you and Auston were seen at Toronto Western Hospital, including one saying how the two of you arrived in an ambulance and how you were on a stretcher.
The majority of the tweets were people commenting, wondering what happened, and wishes that everything was ok. But, there were also some downright mean ones. Some people commented on your appearance, saying that you looked awful and how you were lucky to be Canadian; otherwise, Auston would've probably been covering the hospital bill.
Usually, you never paid attention to anything that was being said about you. These people knew nothing about your life and were indeed in no position to be saying anything, which you knew, but reading those things made you feel like shit. And you hated that you were actually letting them get to you.
But, soon enough, someone diverted your attention.
"Baby?" Auston asked, sounding very sleepy as he shifted next to you but still managing to make you jump at the sudden noise. "Everything alright?"
"Oh, uh, yeah," you lied and quickly closed out of the app before moving to face him. "Everything's fine."
"Are you sure? You seem a little flustered."
"Yes, babe, it's nothing to worry about."
"Ok," he responded unsurely, but dropped it as he subtly wrapped his arm around your waist then pulled towards him forcefully.
"Auston!" You gasped as you gripped onto his shoulder with one hand and bicep with the other so you could balance yourself out, but quickly realized he did that so you'd be hovering over him with very little space between the two of you. "Smooth."
"Always," he replied with a smirk, then began placing kisses along your shoulder, collarbone and neck.
He didn't stop until he reached your jawline and was able to see how much what he was doing affected you in the best way possible as your eyes fluttered close and you leaned into his touch. Feeling rather smug with himself, he then put his arm around your waist again and quickly flipped the two of you over so that your back would be on the mattress and he would be on top.
As soon as you looked up at him, he gave you a playful smirk and was about to continue, but then a noise began filling the room.
"Mama?" Mia's voice sounded through the monitor resting on Auston's bedside table as you and him both froze and looked towards the device. Sounds of shuffling and the odd grumble could be heard, making it rather apparent that your daughter was awake, but then she started crying. "Mommy!"
"Shit," you and Auston said at the same time as you both scrambled off the bed then rushed down the hall to Mia's bedroom, even gaining enough of Frank's attention that he followed after the two of you.
Once you pushed open the door to Mia's bedroom, you found her standing up in her crib, sniffling as she cried and tiredly rubbing at her eyes. Without a second thought, you beelined right for her and picked her up, making sure to give her a comforting squeeze as she immediately clung to you.
"It's ok, sweetheart. I'm here," you soothed as you began gently rubbing her back. "Mommy's here."
"Where go, mama?" She asked as she leaned against your shoulder and hugged you closer, then looked to where Auston was standing nearby but said nothing more.
"I just needed to go see a doctor, Mia. But it's ok. I won't leave you again, ok? I promise."
"Ok."
Auston watched the two of you interact and couldn't help but smile. He loved that you and Mia loved so much. Seeing the two most important girls in his life being as lovey and soft as you and Mia were made him feel all types of ways. You both were his entire world, and he was content just seeing a moment like that forever if he could, but then he remembered all that had to be done that day.
"Hey, Mini," he spoke up and reached towards her. "Why don't we go brush our teeth, then go eat breakfast?"
"No, daddy," she stated firmly as he went to take her from your hold, but she held onto you even tighter, instead. "I stay with mommy."
Both you and Auston were shocked by this. It was probably the first time Mia had ever just flat out denied any type of snuggles from her dad, and it was just so strange to see. Without even voicing it, you and Auston gave each other a look as if to say you knew she was giving him the cold shoulder because of what happened the night prior.
It sucked because you knew that your daughter didn't understand what was going on and that she still wouldn't even if you tried to explain it all right then in there. Telling Mia about pregnancy and how she was going to be a big sister soon had to be a gradual thing. So, with one more glance at each other and a slight nod, you and Auston silently agreed to just move on from the subject.
"Why don't we all go brush our teeth, and then I'll make you some pancakes, little miss," you suggested and kissed her head. "We have a long day ahead of us."
And you really did.
After the three of you got ready to go downstairs, Auston's family helped the two of you cook a huge breakfast for you all to eat. It was a great way to start off the day, but soon after, Auston had to leave for practice in preparation for the Leafs game that night.
Once he was gone, you planned to see your doctor, then pick up your family from the airport before you all were supposed to go to the game together. You were really excited, and Mia didn't leave your side for any of it.
Your doctor's appointment ended up being ok. You were told more about your anemia condition based on the doctor's bloodwork done at the hospital during it. Once that was established, your doctor then recommended some iron supplements for you to take with your prenatal vitamins and explained how she'd be checking your blood pressure very closely at every appointment from then on.
She also took time to check in with you and how you were doing. Her main question was if you'd been in contact with your therapist at all lately, to which you replied with how you talked to your therapist at least once a month still, but more frequently if you felt the need to. Your doctor was happy to hear that. She was the one that recommended you to your therapist almost ten years ago when you were a teenager, after all. You first met your therapist when you were seventeen and had been going to her ever since.
Then your doctor went on to tell you how she hoped you continued going to therapy, especially if everything going on with your pregnancy or just life, in general, was too much. You promised her that you would, and your appointment concluded soon after.
Having a conversation like that usually would make you uncomfortable. But since it was your doctor, the one you'd been going to since you were a kid, it made it all a lot easier. Having Mia and Ema there for moral support helped, too, especially with Auston being at practice.
Once you were done there, it was time to head to the airport and finally see your family.
Since the summer of 2017, when you and Auston had been dating for about six months, you've been the only one of your family that still lived in the Greater Toronto Area, and even then, you were only there during hockey season and a little bit at the end of offseason. You and your family loved Toronto. You always have.
Growing up, you lived in a small town on the outskirts of the GTA, then moved to downtown Toronto in 2015 when you were 18 and starting school at UofT. A year later, your younger sister Mya moved to Vancouver to begin school at UBC, then a year after that, Nate, the baby of the family, regardless of him only being two years younger than you, moved to Montreal. As your brother was in the process of moving, a job opportunity came up for your dad in B.C. and soon after, he was moving out west as well.
However, Ontario has always been home to your family. Every year at Christmas time, your family always finds a way to be together for the holiday season and continue your tradition of going on your annual skiing/snowboarding trip.
Two years prior, while you were still very pregnant with Mia, you all went to Mont-Tremblant in Quebec. The year after, during Mia's first Christmas season, everyone was in Vancouver for a few days, but now it was time for your family to be back home again, and you were so ready.
Although you kept in constant contact with your family when you weren't with them, it wasn't even comparable to how you felt when you were all together, so to say you were excited as you drove to the airport to pick them up would've been an understatement.
After your doctor's appointment, you took Ema back to the house just as Auston was getting home from practice, then headed to the airport with Mia to see your family.
You were holding Mia as you waited at the gates, telling her how her grandpa, auntie Mya and uncle Nate would all be there very soon and couldn't keep the tears from welling in your eyes when you saw them walking through the gate with their luggage. Mia started squirming in your hold excitedly, and for the first time that day, she bolted away from you as soon as you set her down and beelined towards your dad.
"Pa!"
"Ah, there's my girl!" He greeted as he let go of his suitcase, then leaned down to pick Mia up. "How are you, Miss Amelia?"
"Good," Mia replied with a smile, then hugged him tightly. "Christmas!"
"Yes, Merry Christmas!"
"Uh, excuse me, what are you still doing over there?" Mya said to you and held her arms open so the two of you could hug. "Hey, babe. Missed you."
"I missed you more," you told your little sister as you squeezed her, then pulled back to see Nate looking at you expectantly.
"Ehm," he cleared his throat and opened his arms too. "Are you forgetting about your favourite brother?"
"You're saying that like I have many choices in the matter," you told him with a pointed look, then moved away from Mya to go hug your brother too. "Missed you too, kid."
"Tee!" Mia then squealed as she reached towards Mya and Nate shortly after.
"Mia!" They exclaimed excitedly as they took her from your dad's hold, then you were able to hug him too.
"Hi, Dad," you smiled as he held you close for a minute.
"Hi, sport. How're you feeling?" He asked, making you smile hearing the nickname he's called you for as long as you could remember, but then gave him a knowing look.
"Auston told you, didn't he?"
"He called me while you were in the ambulance last night," your dad replied, then glanced at Mya and Nate as they started bickering over who was going to hold Mia and lowered his voice. "Congratulations, kiddo. Auston also filled me in on what the doctor said. I want you to know that we're all going to be here to help out if you need it, especially with Mia. Those two still don't know. I haven't said anything either. I figured you wanted to tell them about Mia's little sibling your own way."
"I do," you told him. "I wanted to tell you and Auston's family differently too, but I'm glad Aus called you when everything happened. I want to tell Mya and Nate tomorrow when we're with Mitchy and Steph too for Christmas."
"Fair enough, I'm sure they'll give you shit."
"I'd expect nothing less."
You then drove your family to where they'd be staying for the next two days. Usually, they'd stay at your house. Even with Auston's family, there was still room for the three of them, but this year, they stayed with Alice, your dad's girlfriend. You have adored Alice since you met her during your first Christmas with Auston as boyfriend and girlfriend back in 2017. Sadly, your mom passed away when you were thirteen, and it took years for your dad even to begin putting himself out there again in the dating pool. He always stressed to you, Mya and Nate that no one could ever replace your mother, which the three of you knew. Still, you all also understood that he was lonely and with the fact that he had given the three of you the world, the least you owed him was to not get in the way of him possibly finding happiness again.
Even with that, it took seven years after your mother's passing for him to find someone even worth considering bringing around his kids. However, Alice was amazing. You and your siblings have loved her since you met her, and now six years later are all still very glad to have her in your lives.
Your dad and Alice began their relationship shortly after he moved to Vancouver. They had worked together in Toronto a couple of years earlier until she moved to B.C., and they just so happened to cross paths again. However, Alice's family still lives in the GTA but vacation in Florida every winter.
This year, for a Christmas gift, you, Auston, Mya, Mya's boyfriend Seth, Nate and his girlfriend Sydney all pitched in so your dad and Alice could go to Florida for a few weeks and visit with her family a bit while they were there. The six of you told them what their gift was early, so they were prepared, seeing as the flight was booked for Christmas Day, and then your dad and Alice ended up booking a little beach house to stay in during those three weeks that had three extra rooms. Unfortunately, Seth and Sydney were unable to join, and the plan was for you and Mia to go for a week as well, but you decided against it because of how poorly you'd been feeling and lied, saying it was because you were swarmed with work.
Your dad understood and now gets it even more since he knows of your pregnancy, but Mya and Nate thought you were full of shit.
However, the timing was still perfect.
Alice arrived in Toronto the night before and was staying at her relatives' vacant home, which had more than enough room for your dad, Mya and Nate to stay at as well. The four of them were joining you, Mia, Auston's family and Steph in a box you booked at SBA to watch the game that night. The next day, everyone, including Mitch, Steph, and your cousin Chris, trekked up to Collingwood to stay at Blue Mountain Village and continue your family's snowboarding tradition during the holidays. Even Auston's family was joining, and you were so excited to have the most important people in your life around this Christmas. Late on Christmas Day, your dad, Alice, Nate and Mya were all to catch a late flight to Tampa and begin their vacation.
You were pretty excited about it all but more so happy to share your news about the new little babe you were growing with the loved ones who didn't find out because you fainted.
After a brief visit with Alice, you told your family you'd see them at the game, then you and Mia headed back home again. Auston was there once you arrived, and it wasn't long until he and Mia were having a quick nap on the couch together while Alex and Bre took Frank for a walk, and you chatted with Brian and Ema in the kitchen.
The rest of the afternoon was pretty chill, but soon enough, Auston had to leave to get to the arena, and the rest of you had to start getting ready to go there as well.
Before you went to the arena, you got yourself and Mia all dressed up in your matching Matthews jerseys and Maple Leafs Santa hats before you joined everyone else downstairs and headed out. But not without getting a few pictures taken in front of your massive Christmas tree first.
Your evening at the Leafs game was nothing short of amazing, even though you most definitely felt a little tired.
You loved every moment of being able to cheer on your man and the other guys with both your family and Auston's together. The fact that they all got along meant the absolute world to you, too, and your time at the game was just really enjoyable. Steph came and watched the game with all of you. Still, the two of you dipped for a few minutes during the third period because other wives and girlfriends of players who were also present at the game wanted to get one last group picture before the New Year—seeing as everyone got pretty messy at the girl's Christmas party a couple of weeks earlier. You were sober for that, and even you still looked like a hot mess.
After the game, you all waited for Auston and Mitch before heading home. The guys you saw as they walked by were all in good moods after the win they'd just got, but all stopped and made sure to say hi to you, Mia and Steph as they passed.
A couple of minutes later, Auston and Mitch entered the hallway at the same time and lit right up when they saw everyone. But then you observed as Mitchy glanced at Auston briefly then started racing towards where you stoop with Mia.
"Hi, Meems!" Your cousin said excitedly as he picked his goddaughter up and made her start giggling like crazy as she hugged him. He then smiled at you and gave Steph a quick peck before turning to face your dad, Mya and Nate and greeted them excitedly, still holding onto Mia.
"Why must everyone just steal our daughter before I even get the chance to see her?" Auston grumbled teasingly as he came up beside you and smoothly wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you in for a kiss, then leaned down to smirk at you. "Hi."
"Hi, yourself," you smiled back, then leaned against him. "To be fair, Mitch was just faster than you there."
"I can honestly say I wasn't expecting him to break out into a sprint just to get to her first."
"Would you expect anything less, though?" Steph asked with a chuckle from where she stood beside you, then resumed her conversation with Alex.
"Valid point," Auston said with a nod, then kissed your head before moving away and walking towards your family. "Time to visit my favourite in-laws."
You felt as though your heart could burst watching him interact with your family, even feeling yourself getting a little teary-eyed as you observed them. Sure, it was more than likely the pregnancy hormones, but you were also just so freaking happy. Moments like this made you forget about everything else going on, and you loved it.
It seemed that Ema noticed this too because a few short moments later, she was standing next to you, nudging your shoulder with hers and smiling before pulling you in for a little side hug.
Shortly after that, everyone grouped together to discuss the plans for Christmas Eve and then soon called it a night. You hugged Mitch, Steph and your family goodbye, telling them you'd see them tomorrow at Blue Mountain before heading to the parking lot with Auston, Mia and his family, still smiling because everything just felt right. And you really needed that.
~*~
Everyone was awake early in the Matthews house the following day, full of excitement for Christmas Eve and for what the day's events entailed before embarking on the almost two-hour drive to the ski resort.
You, Mia, Auston and his family were the first ones to arrive at Blue Mountain out of the entire group and immediately started getting settled into your accommodations. Your little family of three had a room to yourselves, with Alex and Bre in the room across the hall and Auston's parents in the one next door on the left. The room next door on the right was going to be where Mitch, Steph and Chris stayed and had a conjoining door that could be opened up to connect the two rooms. It was pretty obvious those two rooms would be where everyone was hanging out later that evening. But further down the hall were the two rooms your dad and Alice, Nate and Mya would be staying in.
About an hour later was when everyone else began arriving.
Mitch claimed they took forever because when they stopped by his parents' house to drop off Zeus, your aunt Bonnie just wouldn't stop talking. She had to catch up with Nate and Mya right then and there even though she would be seeing them and your dad the next day for Christmas. You understood, though, because when you were talking to her that morning as you dropped off Frank, lucky that she agreed to watch him for the night, the two of you talked for quite a bit, so you could only imagine how badly she wanted to speak with your brother and sister who haven't been back in town for months.
Once everyone was settled, Nate, Mya, Mitch, Chris, and Steph were dead set on getting to the slopes to begin your family's tradition properly, and that's when you started panicking. When you didn't start getting ready right away, they knew something was up, and the fact that you stayed quiet confirmed that even more.
"Y/N, why aren't you getting ready?" Nate asked as he peaked his head through the doorway connecting yours and Mitch's room.
"I, uh, I think I might sit this one out, guys," you replied sheepishly. To be completely honest, you didn't know if it was safe to snowboard while pregnant or not. Sure, you were pretty good at snowboarding and didn't think you'd wipe out, but that didn't mean there still wasn't a chance that you could and end up causing harm to yourself and your baby.
"Excuse me?" Chris said before sticking his head through the doorway too. "The hell do you mean you 'might sit this one out', Y/N?"
"Well, I-."
"It's tradition," Mya cut you off from where she sat on the couch in your's and Auston's room.
"I, I don't know," you responded. "I guess I can go down one hill, but maybe just an intermediate one and no racing."
"That's no fun," Nate groaned dramatically before disappearing out of sight.
"Babe," Auston spoke up from where he stood a couple of feet away, putting on Mia's snow pants and coat. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
He then gave you a look, silently asking you to reconsider because you knew he'd be stressing out the entire time you were up on that hill.
"I think if I stick to an easy hill, I'll be fine, Aus," you explained to him softly so no one else besides Bre and Alex, who were sitting next to you, would hear. "If I was earlier in my pregnancy, I wouldn't even consider it, but I'm 15 weeks, babe, and not to sound cocky, but I don't think I'm going to wipe out."
"But-."
"I promise I'll only do one. If I didn't feel well enough to do it or was worried, I wouldn't. Ok?"
"Ok," he sighed and nodded in agreement. "But if something happens, babe."
"Try not to think about it like that," you replied and stood up to walk towards him and Mia. "Have a little faith in my skills."
"I do. And I mean, you're definitely better at snowboarding than I am."
"That's because you're my Desert Boy," you told him, then leaned down to peck his lips before he could say anything else, smirking because you knew he hated when you called him that.
"Why do you only want to do an intermediate hill?" Mitch asked as he strolled into the room but stopped briefly to compliment Mia on her puffy pink coat before looking back at you. "Pretty sure last year you said, and I quote, 'it's too easy. Where's the challenge?' Right?"
You didn't know how to respond. There was no way you were just flat out going to say it was because you were pregnant, and you struggled coming up with an excuse. But luckily for you, Bre saved your ass.
"It's because us Arizonians aren't used to this, and Y/N promised she wouldn't show us up," Auston's younger sister spoke up, then winked at you.
"Thank you," you told her quietly.
"Ok, that's fair," Nate replied and came into the room too. "The Canadians have a bit of an advantage here, I guess."
"Speak for yourself," Steph scoffed from the other room. "The only reason I'm no longer afraid of the ski lift is because you all have dragged me on it so many times now."
"You and me both, Steph," Auston piped in, then stood up from his kneeling position in front of Mia. "Wow, Mini, you look great. Are you ready to go on the mountain coaster?"
"Yeah!" Your daughter replied excitedly, then ran into the other room.
"I guess we shouldn't keep her waiting," Alex suggested, to which everyone agreed with, and you all soon made your way outside.
Once the group of you were all dressed for the cold, you went down to the resort lobby and dispersed. The kids made their way to the ski hills while Ema and Brian wandered around the village with your dad and Alice.
As soon as you arrived at the foot of the hill with all of your gear, Auston asked if you were sure you would be ok doing this, and you assured him that you would be.
You then made your way over to the ski lift and braced yourself for what was to come. Mia stayed at the bottom of the hill with Alex, but not without cheering you and Auston on, of course.
"Go, mommy! Go, daddy!" She called after the two of you and waved with Alex as she watched you go.
You then got on one of the ski lift chairs with Auston and Bre and waited patiently to be taken up to the top. Once you got off the lift and everyone was grouped together, you, Nate, Mya, Mitch and Chris all took your annual hilltop cousin group picture, as well as some others.
There were some nice photos taken of you with your siblings, a couple with Steph, as well as a few with Bre. Nate managed to capture a typical picture of you and Mitch where he was laughing, and you looked like you were ready to throat punch him. But your favourite photo was one that Bre took.
As everyone was figuring out which hill they wanted to go on after this one, you shuffled over to Auston, then wrapped your arms around his waist and leaned against his chest as you waited. He responded by wrapping his arms around your middle too so that he could hold you close. Then he leaned his head on top of yours and looked down towards the bottom of the hill. Steph then went over to Bre and pointed out the cute little moment happening between you and Auston, and your sister-in-law was quick at snapping a picture so that the moment would be saved forever.
Shortly after that, you all snowboarded down the hill. Mitch and Nate showed off a bit, and Auston tried to but got a little shaky in doing so. You made it to the bottom without issue but didn't want to risk going down again because, realistically, you didn't know what could happen out there and would much rather be safe than sorry.
The rest of them went down different ski trails while you hung out with Mia and let Alex have a turn going up the hill as well. As you and Mia waited, you noticed the rental spot for skis and snowboards, and since there wasn't much else to do, you decided to go rent a tiny snowboard for Mia to see how she would take to the activity.
After you got her all geared up and standing on the board, you started pulling her around.
"Look at you go, Mia, you're a natural," you told her with a smile.
"Look at me, go!" She repeated while giggling as she continued staying firm in her standing position while you pulled the rope attached to the board.
About twenty minutes later, you found a very tiny pile of snow that barely had a slope, but it was still something and gave you an idea.
"Alright, babe, want to try all by yourself?" You asked and looked down at your daughter. She didn't answer you. Instead, she just looked up at you unsurely. "It's going to be ok, sweets. I won't let you fall."
"Ok, mama," she replied hesitantly but did not indicate that she didn't trust you.
You then pulled her up the small snowbank and positioned her at the top where the slope began. Once you were done doing that, you crouched down next to Mia so that the two of you would be face to face.
"Are you ready?" You asked and couldn't help but smile as she lit right up and nodded.
"Yeah!"
"Ok, give me five," you replied and held out your hand, which she quickly smacked her mitten-covered hand against in attempts to give you a high-five. "Full send?"
"Full send, mommy!"
At that, you chuckled, then leaned over to kiss her head before shuffling down the slope. Once you reached where the rope ended, you looked at your daughter again before grabbing it and started tugging slightly.
Once Mia was over the edge of where the slope began, you let go of the rope and let her slide down all on her own. You shuffled down the hill backwards, making sure to be there if she did fall, but she made it to the bottom without issue and was so proud of herself.
"Woah!" She gasped and looked at you, excitedly.
"Good job, baby!" You told her, but loud cheering and hollering sounded from nearby before you could say anything else.
"Shred-it, Mia!" Nate exclaimed, making you look over to see everyone approaching the two of you again, all of them grinning widely.
"Good job, Mini!" Auston beamed as he was the first to reach you, then quickly scooped up Mia and held her close. "And here I thought you might act more Arizonian than Ontarian."
"Well, she was born here," Mitchy argued. "Don't downplay her half-Canadianness."
"She's already better at snowboarding than I am," Alex added in, making everyone laugh.
"Pretty soon, she's going to show all of us up," Chris stated.
Mia couldn't stop smiling while being surrounded by all of her people and hearing their compliments. Shortly after that, Mitchy pulled her back up to the top of the snowbank so she could go down once more, then you all headed back into the resort to warm up and get ready to go find the rest of the family.
A couple of hours later, after the whole group got together for dinner, everyone was gathered in your and Auston's room just hanging out. Your room was pretty big, but with Mitch and Steph's room being connected, it allowed much more space, and no one was cramped.
No one stayed dressed up for this. You all changed into comfy clothes without having the need to impress anyone but still managed to pull off a surprise when yours and Auston's family arrived at your room to find you, him and Mia all dressed in matching Christmas pyjamas.
Everyone then started sipping on some alcoholic beverages, minus you and Mia, of course, and as the night progressed, you started feeling more and more ready to tell the rest of your family that you were pregnant again.
Your siblings, Mitch, Steph and Chris, were all aware that you hadn't been feeling well lately, and they never pressed you about it, even though they didn't know why. They knew that whatever wasn't making you feel well was more than just one thing, but they knew you'd tell them when you were ready to. So, when you expressed that you didn't want to drink that night, none of them gave you a hard time even though Steph had a gut feeling about something.
It eventually got to the point where you just didn't want to wait any longer. You were having so much fun with the people you loved the most and were unable to keep your secret anymore.
You subtly made your way over to where Auston was standing, holding Mia as he talked with Chris in the corner of the room by the Christmas tree, and wasted no time cuddling right up next to him.
"Hi, mommy," Mia greeted, noticing you before anyone else but soon had Auston turning to look over his shoulder, smiling as soon as he saw you.
"Hey, babe," Auston said and welcomed your cuddles.
"Sorry to interrupt," you stated, then looked to your cousin, who also just smiled in return while watching you, Auston and Mia together.
"You didn't interrupt," Chris replied. "But I'll be right back. I'm going to go grab another drink."
Once it was just your little family of three, you looked up to Auston and bit down on your bottom lip while trying to contain the massive grin you could feel forming.
"What's up?" Your husband asked, knowing that you were getting excited about something.
"I want to tell them."
"Right now?"
"Yeah," you answered. "I think I'm ready."
"Then I'm ready, too," he stated, which made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
"What are you three over there talking about?" Mya spoke up as she approached the three of you.
With one final glance at Auston, the two of you nodded at each other, then you moved away from him slightly so that you could both face everyone else.
"Well, there's something that we wanted to tell all of you," you told Mya but managed to capture everyone else's attention too.
"Wait!" You heard Mitch yell from the other room, then a moment later, he was bursting through the doorway and letting out a dramatic breath. "Ok, proceed."
You smiled and braced yourself for what was to come.
When it came to announcing your pregnancy with Mia, it was all a little chaotic and nothing was planned well. Which was fine, but you wanted the announcing of this little bean to be more fun and exciting. Unfortunately, that plan was partially ruined when you fainted in front of Auston's family, but you knew they were excited and knew that your family would be just as stoked, which is why you wanted to get creative with how you told them.
Growing up, for the longest time, you didn't really understand pregnancy, seeing as you were so young when your mom was pregnant with both Mya and Nate. You were never able to remember who put that idea in your head, but you used to believe how a woman got pregnant was by eating a watermelon seed, and then a baby grew in their belly because of it. Eventually, you grew out of that and understood what it actually meant to become pregnant, but your family has never let you live it down.
When you showed Mya and Nate your pregnant belly when you were expecting Mia, one of the first things your brother asked was if you ate watermelon, and it's also just something members of your family will always bring up just to tease you about.
You told Auston this story when he was confused by why so many people talked about watermelon as you were pregnant the first time, and he found it absolutely hilarious. His family did, too, so you thought that would be a fun thing to incorporate into announcing this pregnancy.
A couple of weeks prior was when you attempted to tell Mia about how she would be a big sister in a few months. She didn't understand, and both you and Auston knew you'd both have to be gradual and patient when it came to helping her understand what that meant. After you told her, she asked how you were pregnant, and before you could even say anything, Auston told her that you ate watermelon and you wanted to die of embarrassment because you knew that was just something you'd never be able to live down.
"The anticipation is killing me," Steph spoke up, snapping you from your train of thought but also making you grin even wider than before.
"Mini, can you tell everyone what your mommy ate?" Auston asked your daughter as he looked down at her, then pointed to her tummy so that she'd understand what he was referring to.
"Mommy ate watermelon," she said casually, then jumped when a series of excited gasps sounded from around the room.
"SHUT UP!" Nate was the first to say something, making Auston's family and your dad laugh, while everyone else looked at you completely flabbergasted.
"Are you kidding?" Mya asked and stepped even closer. "This isn't some kind of sick joke, is it?"
"It's not," you confirmed, your voice cracking as you let out a small laugh and started crying as your sister engulfed you in a tight hug.
Soon enough, another pair of arms were wrapping around you and Mya, holding you both tightly as they did so. They laid their head right on top of yours with ease, and a deep laugh rippled through their chest. You knew it had to be your brother.
"This is insane. Congratulations, Y/N," Nate said.
"Meems, you're going to be a big sister!" Mitchy told Mia as he took her from Auston's arms so your brother and sister could move on to congratulating him too. Once he had Mia, he looked at you and shook his head but had the biggest smile as he pulled you in for a hug. "Congrats, twin. Oh, my god."
"I knew something was up!" Steph squealed as she tackled you in a hug next. "Please, I'm so happy for you, babe."
You then received a hug from both Chris and Alice after that, who were extremely happy for you and Auston. Shortly after that, Ema ran to her room to bring back bottles of wine for everyone to crack into for a congratulatory toast kind of thing. She made sure to give you a glass of sparkling cider instead as everyone cheered on your growing family, making you even more emotional as you leaned into Auston's chest as a way to hide the fact that you were bawling your eyes out.
Later that night, after everyone had wandered off to bed, you and Auston were still awake wrapping the Christmas gifts you brought to give to your loved ones in the morning. Mia was passed out on her little travel bed on the other side of the room next to yours and Auston's bed, while the two of you were all giggly and teasing with each other as you attempted to get everything done.
Auston was a little buzzed from the alcohol he consumed earlier, and even though you were sober, you just fed off his energy, and the two of you were just having a lot of fun.
"Would you quiet down?" You whispered after he made a particularly cheeky but loud comment. "You're going to wake Mia up."
"It's Christmas, babe," he replied as he stuck his tongue out at you. "Loosen up a bit."
You rolled your eyes at him but still smiled as he leaned over to change the song that was softly playing from his phone nearby. Whenever Mia was going to sleep, she always preferred to listen to music as she did. So, you and Auston made a little playlist she listens to fall asleep to every night that's made up of very soft and soothing music and songs that you both love.
Even after Mia fell asleep, the two of you left the music on so it would somewhat cover up your voices as you did your wrapping. It just all very much so fit the vibe of the two of you still in your matching pj's talking with each other as you sat on the ground next to the Christmas tree seeing as that was the only light source you could use in the room without waking up your daughter.
The intro notes of Lover by Taylor Swift started playing next, and Auston let out a pleased sigh as he looked back at you.
"Ah, Miss Swift," he said, then gave you a look.
"What?" You asked and narrowed your gaze at him.
"Can I not just admire my beautiful wife?"
"You can, but I know the look you're giving me. It's the one you give when you want something. So, what is it?"
"You know me well," he told you then smirked, before extending a hand towards you. "Dance with me."
At that, you chuckled a little bit, but then Auston stood up and kept his hand extended as he looked at you expectantly.
"Wait, are you serious?" You asked, surprised.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
You didn't know how to respond. You were so caught off guard but soon found yourself slowly reaching for his hand and letting him help you stand back up. Once you were upright, you then let him pull you in close and rested your head on his chest as the two of you began swaying to the music.
As you did this, you couldn't help but think about dancing with him like this at your wedding that happened a year and a half prior. That was one of the happiest days of your life. Dancing with him at that moment next to the Christmas Tree made you feel like that all over again, and you soon found yourself snuggling closer to him as he began humming along to the lyrics.
No words were exchanged. There was no need for them to be. The two of you were in your own little world and just wanted to stay there for a while longer. Even as Lover faded out and Ed Sheeran's Perfect began playing next, the two of you stayed holding onto each other and continued swaying as the night seemingly faded around you both.
~*~
Christmas Day morning, although kind of chaotic, was everything you could've hoped it'd be.
You, Auston and Mia, had a very soft morning that was just the three of you before everyone piled into your room again and kicked off the day's events. Your entire family all got breakfast together, then went back to the rooms to exchange gifts but had to check out of the resort and head back to Toronto soon after.
That evening, you drove Nate, Mya, your dad and Alice to the airport, then went back home to have Christmas dinner with Auston's family. It was a very chill way to conclude the holiday, and you loved every minute of it.
A few days later, Auston's family flew home to Arizona, hockey started up again, and things just started feeling weird to you.
You would've been lying if you said you didn't experience a bit of post-holiday depression. Going from a full house of people and having all your loved ones together to having the house basically empty besides you, Mia and Frank hit really hard. The Leafs' schedule after Christmas sucked and had Auston constantly coming and going, which also didn't help because it was brief when he was home.  
It was like you were coming down from a really good high, but instead of things eventually feeling normal again, they just gradually got worse without you even realizing it. And on top of it all, you just felt so tired and weak all the damn time, finally noticing how badly your anemia absolutely kicked your ass and would continue to do so for the months to come.
However, as soon as you acknowledged how down you were feeling mentally, you booked an appointment with your therapist. Gradually got in the routine of talking to them at least once a week again. But even in doing that, you never discussed how you were feeling with anyone else and were unintentionally pushing them away.
Your loved ones noticed, though. It was very easy for them too. But, there wasn't much they could do to help if you didn't let them.
During those weeks after Christmas, Mia barely left your side because she knew you weren't feeling well, and neither did Frank. Mitch and Steph were able to pick up on something bothering you, too, because you distanced yourself from them. They knew about you having anemia and how that definitely affected you a lot, also that you were just bummed, but you wouldn't let them even try to help you. Steph tried to invite you over for days the two of you could just chill together with Mia, Frank and Zeus while the guys were away and was even ok going to your house instead, but you never gave her a straight answer. So, nothing came of it, and she and Mitch started genuinely getting worried about you.
They weren't the only ones who realized you weren't feeling like yourself either.
When you Facetimed your dad, Alice, Nate and Mya while they were in Florida, they could easily tell you weren't doing good and just wished they could be there to help. Auston's family was able to tell too, and it even got to the point where Ema was about to fly back to Toronto but didn't because she knew if that wasn't something you wanted to happen, it wouldn't help the situation.
Naturally, it was Auston who noticed just how much changed with you after the holidays. He saw it first hand when he was home and could hear it in your voice during your calls while he was away. However, you just never expressed what was bothering you, and other than the obvious things that triggered this, not even you were sure why you felt as gross as you did.
Unfortunately, this took somewhat of a toll on your's and Auston's relationship. You didn't realize you were pushing him away, and he couldn't help but blame himself for it. He wished he could be home all the time, and so did you, but that just wasn't possible, and it was the first time that a form of mental and emotional distance between the two of you added to the physical distance that was already there and it just made everything so much harder.
Miscommunication between you and Auston occurred more during these few weeks than it ever had throughout your entire relationship. How both of you felt just wasn't addressed because neither of you knew how to approach the topic and were utterly oblivious to how bad it truly was.
Both of you hated it so much. But then, around the middle of January, about two weeks before Mia's second birthday, there was a slight shift, and things briefly started looking up.
You were happy and more energetic all of a sudden, and for a few days straight, you just seemed so much like yourself again. There was a day that you and Mia grabbed lunch with Steph then hung out for the remainder of the day for the first time in almost a month. Your dad, Alice and Nate were due to fly back to Toronto in the upcoming days and stay for a night before going home themselves, so you were excited to see them even though Mya was already back in B.C. And even with Auston, you were gradually coming out of that wall you unintentionally built around yourself and letting him back in as well.
Although not every day was perfect, things seemed better. Little did anyone know they were about to go to complete shit and how easily it could've all been avoided too.
During a couple of days where Auston was home, he decided to plan something special for you. The weird scheduling of him seemingly being on the road more than he was at home was coming to an end just in time for Mia's birthday, and he couldn't wait. He was so excited to have longer stretches at home. Even though he'd still have to come and go, it wasn't going to seem as bad as it had been previously. And the best part was that he'd get just to be there and spend time with you and Mia.
To kick that off, on the 15th, exactly ten days before Mia's birthday, he booked a reservation for the two of you to grab dinner at one of your favourite restaurants downtown.
You weren't feeling 100% that day, but after Auston proposed the idea, explained what restaurant the two of you would be going to, and how he'd already arranged for Steph to watch Mia that night, you got pretty excited about it.
The thought of having a nice evening with your husband sounded so good to you. After how shitty January had been so far, you felt that you really needed this one on one time with him and could tell that he felt the same.
There wasn't a Leafs game that day, but Auston did have practice and some media stuff he had to do before meeting you for dinner. It was a long and hectic day, to say the least, and it ended up being way longer than he was expecting, but he eventually finished what he needed to do and couldn't wait to get home and see his girls.
However, when he got home, you weren't there. But Steph was.
"Hey, Steph," Auston greeted as he walked through the front door and looked at her curiously. He was lucky, though, because Mia was very focused on the show Steph had put on for her and didn't even notice him. But before he could make his presence known to her, Steph told Mia she'd be back in a second, then rushed into the foyer.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, looking at him as if he'd grown a second head.
"Uh, this is my house?" He chuckled in response.
"I'm aware of that, but weren't you supposed to be downtown getting dinner with Y/N an hour ago?"
Auston froze and went completely pale at that.
"Oh, fuck," he said and immediately started putting his coat back on. "Oh, my god. I completely forgot about the reservation. Fuck!"
Without saying another word, he booked it out of the house and back to his car, but Steph understood and just hoped that this wouldn't become a whole thing, even though she had a feeling it definitely wasn't going to end up good.
Auston tried calling you as he drove back downtown and got more frustrated with himself when you weren't answering. About twenty minutes later, he parked the car and rushed to the restaurant. However, when he went to go inside, you walked out.
You looked surprised to see him, but that quickly changed to a look of hurt and disappointment, which didn't go unnoticed by your husband.
"Y/N, I am so sorry," Auston tried to explain while taking in how dressed up you were. You looked stunning in the dress you decided to wear that night, and it made him feel even worse about how badly he fucked up. "I got so caught up with everything today, and I know that's no excuse, but please know how sorry I am. We can go back in there. I'm sure they'll still take us."
"I already ate," you told him, then glanced away. It was then he noticed how glossy your eyes were with unshed tears and could feel his heart shatter. "I just want to go home."
"But, baby-."
"Please, Auston. I'm embarrassed enough as it is."
He didn't know what he could say to that, so with a nod and another apology, the two of you walked to his car and headed home.
The original plan was for Steph to drop you off at the restaurant to meet Auston, then the two of you would drive home together afterwards. That's exactly what happened. But the entire drive home was so painfully silent, and Auston knew it was all his fault.
"Babe, you don't understand how sorry I truly am," he eventually spoke up, which had you shifting awkwardly in your seat before responding.
"I understand. But please, let's just drop it."
You didn't leave much room for argument as you mindlessly started rubbing your 18-week pregnant belly and moved to look out the window, so Auston didn't bother fighting you on it and continued the drive home in silence.
Steph could sense the tension when the two of you walked into the house but knew it wasn't her place to ask about it. So, she gave Mia a quick hug goodbye, then told you and Auston to have a good night as you both thanked her for watching Mia, then made her way home for the night.
There weren't many words exchanged between the two of you as you put Mia to bed and got ready to sleep yourselves. Although you still cuddled up against Auston as you began falling asleep, just like you did every night, he still knew that you were so upset with him. However, the issue wasn't resolved or addressed, and the two of you soon fell asleep for the night.
The next morning, Auston had to be up early to catch a flight out of Pearson with the team to go to New Jersey for a game against the Devils that night. He was due to be back home in three days after a game against the Capitals the following day, and then was going to be home for four days before having to go to Montreal.
You didn't express that you were still upset with him as he got ready to leave, but he knew you were still hurt. As he was about to walk out the door, you still wished him luck with his games and told him that you loved him, because even though you were upset, that didn't change the love you always had for your husband.
But, Auston was already overthinking the entire situation and had begun planning a way he could make it up to you again as both you and Mia kissed him goodbye. That night after the game against the Devils was when he decided he'd fly home the following night after the game against Washington to surprise you, rather than going back to Toronto a day later with the rest of the team.
However, the day he was planning on flying home, you called him to explain how Mia wasn't feeling good.
You were pretty sure she was getting an ear infection, and she was just so fussy because of how uncomfortable and in pain she was. It broke your heart seeing her like that, and you just really needed to tell Auston about it, hoping he'd remind you that everything was going to be ok and of course, he did.
During that conversation, he managed not to bring up the fact that he was coming home that night but said to call him still if you needed anything or if Mia got worse.
Unfortunately, Mia did get worse, and it was too overwhelming for you.
When Auston was playing hockey that night, you got to the point where you were about to have an absolute breakdown because it was all too much. Your doctor was closed, and Mia didn't even consider the idea of going to the hospital, getting even fussier whenever you mentioned it. You couldn't call Auston and were about to call Steph because, on top of everything, you felt like trash too. Although you really didn't want to inconvenience anyone, you knew that you needed help and couldn't do this independently.
But, before you called Steph, you remembered that your dad and Nate were in town with Alice for the next two nights before they flew back to Vancouver and Montreal. You weren't even sure if they'd landed in Pearson yet, but without thinking about it any longer, you brought up Alice's contact in your phone as you held Mia with your other arm and hit the call button.
"Hello?" Alice greeted you with her usual cheery voice, which made you let out a loud sigh of relief.
"Alice, are you guys back in Toronto yet, by chance?" Your voice cracked as you sniffled, trying to keep it together but simply unable to.
"Oh, honey, is everything alright? We're in an Uber right now, about ten minutes away from my cousin's house."
"Would you mind if I came over? Auston isn't here, Mia is sick, and I need help. I don't know what to do anymore."
"You do not even need to ask, sweetheart," she replied softly. "But take a few deep breaths for me, ok? I know it's tough, but it's going to be alright. You go pack a bag for you and Mia, then get her and Frank loaded into the car and come over. Ok?"
"Ok," you responded, taking a deep breath as you did so. "Thank you, Alice. We'll be there real soon."
After you hung up the phone, you continued taking deep breaths so you could calm yourself down. You then looked down at Mia as she leaned against your shoulder, fighting to stay awake, and could tell that she felt probably as gross as you did.
"I'm sorry you're not feeling good, sweet girl," you told her softly, then brushed some of her curls away from her face. "We're going to stay with Pa, Alice and Uncle Nate for the night, ok? We're going to get you feeling better very soon."
"Ok, mama," she replied, then held onto you a little tighter as you started packing a bag for the two of you, then got both of you all bundled up to leave the house for the night.
As soon as Auston's game was over, he called you to check in with how Mia was doing, but the call went straight to voicemail. After a few more attempts to contact you and the same outcome, he started getting worried. He texted his mom, Steph and even a couple of the other Leafs girlfriends that he knew you were pretty close with to see if anyone had heard from you, which none of them had.
Not being able to keep himself from getting a little anxious, Auston still went to the airport and got on the conveniently short flight back to Toronto, hoping that everything would be fine once he got there.
As soon as he landed, he called you again, and there was still no answer. Yes, he knew that you were still mad at him, but he didn't think you were angry enough just to ignore him entirely and seemingly fall off the grid, especially after telling him that Mia was sick.
He started getting frustrated and sent a quick text to Nate to see if he'd heard from you, but never got a reply back. So, he ordered an Uber to take him home, and when he got there, his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach.
Your car wasn't in the driveway, there wasn't a single light on in the house, and there wasn't a single sign of you, Mia or Frank once he went inside. It was past Mia's bedtime, so it didn't make sense for you not to be home, but surely if you'd taken her to the hospital, you would've told him and not taken Frank. So, he called you again and still wasn't able to get through.
He stressfully pushed his hand through his hair as he called his parents in an attempt to figure out what the hell was going. As he did this, he took his boots off, hung up his coat and went upstairs to your's and his bedroom. When he entered the room, a mix of your and Mia's clothes was strewn all over the place. It looked that you left in a hurry and only grabbed what you could, but Auston couldn't figure out why.
While on the phone with his parents, he expressed what he saw to them and felt himself getting more and more upset. Ema tried to keep him level minded, but he was already too worked up for her to be successful in doing that.
"Mom, I think she left," he finally stated, acknowledging the worst-case scenario that had been eating away at his mind since the moment he entered the house. Ema was confused by what he meant when saying that because she was already well aware that you weren't there, but then Auston elaborated on what he was thinking. "Me, mom. I think she left me."
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okay now that we’re in the middle of a hiatus and the fandom is mostly calmed down
I’m one of the very few people who’s actually hoping for a Lila redemption arc? I don’t want her to be friends with Adrien or Marinette or anyone she’s really really hurt, but she is still like 14 and we don’t know her full story and I honestly want to see her grow and be a person and make some actual friends and get some hobbies. Again, I think she’s burned the bridge with a few characters, but that doesn’t mean she can’t ever be friends with anyone else
and anyway, my ideal takedown/ redemption arc for Lila is one where she unknowingly lies about having several disabilities that other students in the class actually do have
BUT I don’t want it in a “oh actually, Lila, you dumb fool, I have real medically diagnosed tinnitus, so I know that’s not how it works, haha everyone look at Lila the stupid liar” kind of way
I want them to be like stupid levels of understanding and try to bond with her
(detailed explanation of my Lila arc under the cut, obviously don’t read if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of Lila being redeemed)
Lila is like “oh... actually... I can’t participate in the PE final... I have scoliosis... that I just found out about right now” and Juleka is like “oh! I have scoliosis too!” and Lila is panicking because she’s about to be called a fraud, but instead Juleka just happily sits with her for the entire PE final and rambles about stuff and is super happy to have a bench buddy
Alix mentions that she has tinnitus and Lila is like “wait what? why aren’t you in front of the class?” and Alix is like “oh, for me it’s kind of a waves thing? on good days, I can hear her from anywhere in the classroom, and on bad days, nothing can really help me hear? so Ms. Bustier just gives me lecture notes that I can read and it works for me.” And Lila is completely expecting to be called a fraud but Alix is just like “it’s super cool that it does help you, though! everyone’s different! If you ever want to compare notes about what helps, you can text me!”
Lila starts to say the beginning of a well practiced and overly researched speech about how she can’t go on a field trip because she has a super rare medical condition and Max just pulls her aside and is like “hey, I know it can be scary and you feel like you have to justify yourself, but you really don’t have to give super personal information all the time. It’s totally fine if you are comfortable, but really, I know from personal experience that Ms Bustier and this class are super understanding. You can just say ‘personal reasons’ or something and we’ll all leave you alone. You’re allowed to have privacy.” and Lila is like “huh”
this is getting long but basically, eventually she talks to someone in the class with ADHD or anxiety, I’m going to say Alya for now, so she literally catches Lila lying about knowing some celebrity, and instead of being angry or judgemental she’e super discreet about it, she pulls her aside like “hey, I know it feels hard to make friends, but I promise you, people do think you’re interesting as you are, and we care more about you than the people you know.” and she doesn’t even call Lila out for lying? she’s literally just like “u dont have to know celebrities”
and then Lila actually finds out that there’s at least one actual compulsive liar in the class. And, if you didn’t know, Lila’s not an actual compulsive liar, and I’m not going to get into a rant about that now but... She lies on purpose, and tells planned lies with an agenda, whereas compulsive liars don’t usually plan to lie or have a reason for lying. So anyway, Lila gets actually caught lying, and someone, lets just say Nino for the sake of picking a character, is like “hey i know its hard but you do still have to apologize, even if you did your best, you still messed up and you’ve got to own up to it. I believe you that you’re trying to be better but you can’t just use mental illness as an excuse.” and Lila pulls out the fake tears and is like “you don’t understand-” and Nino is (not in a rude way, just trying to be kind) like “I can’t understand you exactly, no, but I literally did have a problem with compulsive lying and I have a therapist, so if you want to talk about it I probably understand more than you know” and Lila is like “oh.”
and anyway, Lila’s arc doesn’t come through someone she’s harassed trying to defend her, and it doesn’t come from her being traumatized into being nice, it just comes from her classmates treating her like a human person, and doing their best to understand her while also actually finding ways to make things accessible to her so she stops being able to get out of things. And then it turns to “hey Lila, just so you know, you don’t HAVE to give explanations for not wanting to go places, you can just SAY if you’re uncomfortable.” and she starts getting called out on it a little bit more, but in a friendly way. Her classmates are just like “Lila please just tell us what you want, I don’t need your medical history, I’m not going to do a background check, just, say you want to borrow a jacket and I’ll let you borrow it. I literally have an extra hoodie”
But simultaneously, everyone with a disability “in common” with her starts latching on to her and opening up, and they actually hold her accountable for listening to their needs. And Lila, who already has the mindset of “oh u are legally required to help Disabled Person or everyone will hate you,” which is literally the basis of half of her plans, is now surrounded by classmates who are asking for her help with reading things because they’re dyslexic, or asking her to grab a textbook from across the room, and asking her if she has any heating pads, and, well, Mylene actually bought her some heating pads when she was faking having cramps earlier, so she might as well lend those out so that she can get more credit with her classmates
And it’s not because she *cares* obviously, she’s just doing it to get them to rely on her, and to get on their good side
and then she’s invited to join the disabled students activism club, and it would look suspicious if she didn’t join, so she agrees, and then whoops, she is now working to do actual charity work-- because it’s really nice to have such solid evidence for her claims, and some charity work that she can actually point to solid evidence for if she ever gets called out-- and honestly it is pretty stupid that its so hard to get accommodations on tests for students with anxiety, because aren’t those the students who are the most afraid to talk to the teachers-- not that Lila cares. And it’s super dumb that no one even knows proper etiquette for helping people in wheelchairs,, and people keep Leaving Things in the Hallways that make it too narrow, and-- Lila doesn’t care at all though, and she definitely doesn’t care about her “friends” in the club because they’re not her friends, and she totally does not cry when she finds out that most of them are literally self-diagnosed, and then it turns out that Mylene was actually wrong, and she probably doesn’t have Lyme disease like she thought, and no one judges her or treats her any different? they’re all just like “oh thats great! glad you could keep getting new information!”
and Lila realizes that literally no one will be mad if it turns out she doesn’t have any disabilities. Except also, she’s starting to become more and more sure that she Does have several things wrong with her, because apparently it’s Not Normal to feel constantly on guard when she’s around other people, and apparently it’s Not Normal to just have days where you literally cannot drag yourself out of bed in the morning and then get hit with terror that if you tell anyone about how numb you feel they’ll immediately think you’re unworthy as a human being, and she’s like, oh, huh, i should  look into that
and anyway Lila doesn’t even try to be a good person at first she just wakes up one day and is like “what the heck when did i get actual friends and passions and hobbies,, i did not sign up for this” but she does start making an effort to be worthy of them and she ends up growing a whole ton once she’s given a support system
and anyway i know lots of people are uncomfy with Lila and that’s fine, but i’m continuously a sucker for “evil devil child is actually a pretty decent human being once their basic needs are met and they feel safe” trope
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hongjoongtrasher · 3 years
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Goodbye Baby Goodbye ch.2
GENRE: Angst , smut, fluff
PAIRING: office worker!seonghwa x female reader, ceo!hongjoong x female reader, established relationship, lovers to ennemies.
OTHER: little brother!jongho, best friend!yunho, colleague!yeosang, roommate!san, office worker!mingi, manager!wooyoung.
WARNING: cheating, betrayal, manipulations, protected sex (BE SAFE KIDDOS)
Masterlist - Previous chapter
Synopsis:
It all began when your now 4 year-old boyfriend Seonghwa had an invitation to his entreprise’s party. Surprised to hear you could tag along, you met Kim Hongjoong, the CEO and close friend of Seonghwa. Rumored to be a playboy, the rich boss of your boyfriend is determined to add you to his conquests.
Indeed, Seonghwa wasn’t lying when he was saying KQ Enterprise was like an empire. You’ve never been there, and yet you were here, standing in front of the gigantic building, right after your boyfriend came to pick you up.
The preps for this evening have been like a war. Fortunately, San helped you a lot. He was a good adviser for your makeup and hairstyle. Since you had received such an expensive dress from your boyfriend’s boss, you couldn’t let the rest being down. Of course, when you called Seonghwa in a intense panic, talking about the dress you got from Mr. Kim, he didn’t seem surprised.
« Oh, actually I talked to him about the dress code, and he figured out you may be hadn’t an outfit for this occasion. But I swear I didn’t ask anything from him. »
You were still bewildered after his explanation, because it didn’t explain how he got your name and address. But Seonghwa only said:
« Mr. Kim is a man full of resources Y/N. He’s the CEO at the head of an empire, so it’s not really surprising he’d found your personal informations. But don’t worry, he won’t do anything armful to you. »
Still, you weren’t really happy with the fact your boyfriend’s CEO could find your personal infos so easily.
« Y/N…Just accept this gift. I’m sure he didn’t want to upset you, just pleasing you, in a certain way. »
« Fine, I won’t talk about it from now on » you grumbled into your phone. « But I don’t want any of those things in the future. »
And the D-day came. San had left you right after you were done, his own boyfriend came to pick him up as well. It was the first time you were meeting Wooyoung. He seemed to be a nice guy and you had this sort of feeling of knowing him for a long time even though it was the first time you were meeting. While San was still in the bathroom, Wooyoung explained to you his position in KQ Enterprise. He was the team manager of the economic team whereas Seonghwa was a manager into the CEO personal team. You were impressed by how high they were into this enterprise but Wooyoung smirked and mischievously answered:
« Because KQ Ent is mainly composed of young people. The Boss is privileging youth over oldies who will soon retire. »
San soon came to see you both, signalling his boyfriend he was ready. Wooyoung smiled at the other male who was really handsome tonight. You didn’t know San could be this hot in this all black tuxedo and hair pulled back. You were so used to see him in sweat pants and shirts with messy hair. Such a loss for the women population you had thought at this moment.
« Weeeell, I’m ready, so we’ll go ahead Y/N, see you there ! ~ » said San with a large smile which made a weird difference from his look.
You nodded and waved to the boys. Only five minutes after, Seonghwa knocked at your door. You came to open the door, trying not to step on the expensive shiny dress you were wearing. When you opened the door, you had found a subjugated Seonghwa, his mouth opened as soon as his eyes landed on your elegant figure. But he was so handsome as well. Wearing a dark blue tuxedo with a white shirt, a silky pocket tissue on his perfect blazer. His dark hair were neatly styled by some wax, and you could smell his cologne from here. You felt so lucky at this moment to have him as your boyfriend.
« You’re gorgeous » he only whispered after a moment, which made you blush.
« T-Thanks. San helped me to..mh be prepared » you mumbled back shyly, not used to wear expensive stuffs.
« You ready ? » he asked softly.
« I just have to grab some things and put my shoes and we’re good to go. »
You wearing heels was a thing to watch. Fortunately, the most suitable pair you had was almost brand new. You had bought them with your first pay check from your part time job, but soon gave up when you tried to keep them more than a whole day. You also had a classic white blazer and a small pouch that Seonghwa had gifted to you for your second couple anniversary.
« Hwa…What should I do ? I’m so nervous » you shakily said when he came to you after parking his car.
You felt his hand falling on your back as he made sure you were facing him. His eyes searched for yours as he said firmly and yet so sweetly:
« Everything’s gonna be alright Y/N. I’ll be by your side. »
His other hand gently stroke your cheek as you nodded, trying to repress your anxiety. Seonghwa took your hand to pass it around his arm. And then, you both entered the giant building where security guards were controlling the entry. They didn’t ask your name but bowed their head at your boyfriend, letting you pass easily while shouting : « Good evening sir ! »
For a second you thought being in a drama, it felt so unreal that you almost lost your nervousness. Seonghwa leaded you calmly to the reception hall, where you could already hear people chatting and the classy jazz music in the background.
« Oh my God » you repeated to yourself, squeezing Seonghwa’s arm tightly to which he responded by squeezing your hand with his free one.
The huge hall was crowded with a lot of people, most of them were employees here. You just kinda followed Seonghwa, politely greeting people he was saying « Good evening » etc. You glanced around you furtively, small standing tables were on display for everyone to get some appetizer even waiters were going through the crowd with silver trays with champagne glasses. You got one from Seonghwa. You weren’t usually drinking, or more you weren’t a good drinker, but you were feeling like drinking right now to forget your tension. As Seonghwa was talking to another manager, suddenly everything stopped and most of the others’ eyes were all directed in one direction.
A rather small man had entered the huge hall, platinum hair pulled back but with a sharp glance arrived. Even if you were at the other side of the room, you could feel his obvious charisma as he made his way through the mike stand near the small pair of musicians. You noticed his dark winey red tuxedo, perfectly fitting his body. You almost shivered when Seonghwa leaned to your ear to whisper: « It’s CEO Kim. »
Kim Hongjoong, the brilliant CEO of KQ Enterprise. He was known to be really young to be the owner of such a company, but his youth wasn’t a hurdle to rule over his company with an iron handle. The hall had gone completely silent, waiting for the host of this party to talk. He cleared his throat before offering a smug smile to the assembly, his eyes scanning the large hall.
« Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the annual party of KQ Enterprise. Tonight, is the night where we are celebrating our achievement for the past goals we were keeping in sight. I am well aware that I maybe asked for a considerable amount of efforts during those past months, but this is thanks to your hard work, perseverance and audacity that we can proudly announce that KQ Enterprise will add the brand new branch in the US market… »
A salvation of applauses erupted in the huge hall, Seonghwa clapping enthusiastically. You were a bit confused but followed the move, fairly impressed by his speech. But he wasn’t done yet.
« As you also know, I may be the CEO, but everything wouldn’t be possible without my dear sister, Hyewon - once again people applauded towards a young woman who was standing at the corner of the stage, humbly bowing her head at her brother’s words- who always find the good words to guide me. I received a lot of praises from you all tonight, but I am not the only one to be thanked tonight. You all deserve to be thanked for your hard work, and be proud to belong to our enterprise. Thank you »
A standing ovation exploded as the blonde exited the stage, bowing slightly to some people who were still applauding him.
Seonghwa looked so proud at the moment that you turned to him to congratulate him as well. « You’re amazing, I’m proud of you » you said as he chuckled in shyness. « I’m not that amazing, I’m just doing my work »
Soon the classic music returned and people began to chat between each other’s again. You gazed to the next standing table to see San with Wooyoung, champagne glass in one hand. Your roommate noticed you and made sure to lift his glass to you, which you imitated for him. After a moment, you began to think this party wasn’t so bad, until you heard the same voice earlier from the mike addressing to your boyfriend.
« Seonghwa, you came ! »
You turned quickly to see that CEO Kim was here, giving your boyfriend a brotherly embrace, his hand tapping his back as Seonghwa looked slightly surprised but soon gained his composure again. You felt your body froze suddenly.
« Congratulations, Mr. Kim » he said genuinely happy for his boss.
« I told you already to call me Hongjoong » said the blonde with a wide smile, showing his white teeth.
Then his dark eyes soon switched to your persona. You quickly bowed to your boyfriend’s boss, feeling his gaze scanning your whole body.
« You must be Y/N…I’m glad to see the dress I’ve sent you fit you so well. Not to say, you’re beautiful »
You straighten up to mumble awkward words, but the blonde took your hand to do a hand kiss, making your heart flutter.
« I…It’s nice to meet you Mr. Kim, and you shouldn’t have for the dress » you quickly said in a choked voice, making him laugh.
« It’s nothing, it was my pleasure. I hope you will keep it. »
His eyes fixed yours, making you drown into their intensity, as he softly let your hand goes. You heard your boyfriend’s greeting someone else who was no one but Hongjoong’s sister. Seeing her close, you could tell she was gorgeous. Beauty was running into the family genes you thought as your gaze hadn’t left Hongjoong’s figure.
« Hyewon, this is Seonghwa, my manager into my team, and his girlfriend, Y/N »
Hyewon smiled at Seonghwa, bowing her head slightly and to you as well.
« It’s nice to meet you. I heard a lot from my brother about you Seonghwa. »
You looked at your boyfriend who seemed fluttered by her. You had no doubt about your boyfriend’s work, and you felt proud for him. But you soon felt like about to faint, not really knowing how to follow the conversation. Unless you excused you politely to join San’s table.
« Hey, how is it going Cinderella ? » he asked you teasingly.
« Stop it » you groaned lowly once you were next to him. « Wooyoung ? »
« Went to the bathroom » answered your friend, taking a sip to his glass. « You met him right ? »
San was indeed talking about Hongjoong, and you nodded, also taking a sip of your golden liquid.
« Yeah…He…He seems nice but, he has such an aura…so charismatic » you told San openly.
« No wonder, have you heard his speech earlier ? He probably is our age, but act like a king » San chuckled before Wooyoung came back.
« Everything’s good for you Y/N ? » asked your roommate’s boyfriend, probably worried not to see Seonghwa by your side.
You nodded in confirmation as you nudged your chin behind you where Hongjoong was still talking to your boyfriend with her sister.
« He’s incredible right ? » asked Wooyoung enthusiastically.
« Yes, indeed, he’s a genius in a sense » you hummed.
« Thank you »
You gasped when you heard again Hongjoong’s voice behind your back, making you turn quickly to face him. You’ve turned so fast that you almost stripped on your dress, Hongjoong carefully stretched his arm to hold you back if you were falling. But fortunately you didn’t.
« Wow, be careful, I didn’t mean to scare you. I apologize. »
« No no, it’s fine, I’m the one who should apologize haha » you nervously croaked back, making him slightly smirk.
Wooyoung and San bowed to the impromptu visitor. Hongjoong greeted them back but it was obvious he wanted to talk to you alone, so Wooyoung gently dragged your boyfriend away, pretexting the appetizer were better at another table. Once you were alone with Hongjoong, you didn’t dare to look at him in the eyes, to shy to do it as you could feel his piercing gaze on you.
« Are you enjoying your night ? » he asked softly, his hand gently turning a darker liquid on a glass.
« Yes, absolutely, it’s…wonderful. » you answered, trying to appear as calm as you wanted.
« I’m glad you like it. I don’t like sort of …formal gathering, but Hyewon says it’s important for the employees and she’s right. »
His eyes hadn’t left you from the beginning of this conversation.
« Seonghwa is lucky to have you by his side » he commented, making you surprised to ear this from him.
After all, he was the CEO, the almighty here. He could have any woman he wanted, anything could be his in a flash. But seeing one of his close friend having such a cute girlfriend like you made him slightly jealous. Cute and beautiful. He was subjugated by your beauty as soon as his eyes landed on you.
« I’m the one who is more lucky to have him » you explained in a shy smug smile. « He is very capable in every thing. »
« Indeed…I agree » hummed Hongjoong, finally departing his eyes from you to see his sister still talking with your boyfriend.
The night went well, since Seonghwa came to find you not a long after with San and Wooyoung, Hongjoong already had left since he had more people to talk with. You were somehow in a daze. Talking to Hongjoong kind of relieved your stress but at the same time left a deep impression on you.
« Are you alright baby ? » whispered Seonghwa to your ear since your cheeks were bright red.
« I’m fine ! »
« It’s because she’s drinking her fourth glass of champagne ~ » teased San while you gave him a deathly glare.
Seonghwa frowned at your roommate’s words.
« Y/N, you know you cannot handle alcohol very well »
He wasn’t angry or anything, just worried about your current state. Actually you weren’t that drunk, just enough to be dizzy and mostly feeling the urge to go to the bathroom. You just smirked and said:
« Let me go to the bathroom, and I’ll be back. »
« We should go after. » softly said Seonghwa before watching you leave the hall.
It would be a lie to say you were walking straight, or at least in your head you were. But while you were gone into the hallway, you went to the bathroom to relief yourself and also try to refresh your face. Once you were done, you came out from the bathroom, expecting to see people, but no one was here. The silent corridor made you uncomfortable so you decided to go back to your boyfriend until you heard footsteps coming right at you. You froze when you saw Hongjoong in front of you. He looked a bit tired, but his elegant face was still expressing the same charisma as earlier. He looked up to see you and a slight smirk appeared on his face.
« Oh…isn’t it Y/N ? Are you alright ? » he asked politely.
« I…I’m doing fine, thank you sir. » you answered quietly, the ambient silence making the conversation awkward since there wasn’t music as before or people to break it.
He arched a brow at your answer as he took a step closer, now facing you. He was so close that you could smell his cologne. Suddenly, you wanted to leave right now, your heart pounding hard into your chest.
« Really ? You look a bit red. Did you drink a lot ? » his voice was soft, but somehow different.
« I maybe had too much champagne » you chuckled nervously, trying to avoid his gaze.
He didn’t answer, instead his gaze was gauging your face. God, you were so pretty. It would be difficult to deny he tried to see you each time he was near you, but he couldn’t due to others circumstances. He really like how you look gorgeous into this dress he had bought for you.
« You’re gorgeous …You know that ? »
His remarks make you gulp, your eyes slightly looking up to see his, still fixed on you, his hands in his pocket.
« T-Thank you. I’m really grateful for the dress you’ve gifted me.»
He took a moment of silence before the corner of his lips went up.
« Are you ? Well, will you do me a favour ? » he asked, still contemplating your gorgeous, so tempted to do a dangerous move.
You were kind of puzzled. A favour ? What possibly could you do for a man who had almost everything ? You slowly nodded, unsure of what you just agreed to do if you could.
« Just stay still » he said faintly.
It happened very fast. Even before you could realise, Hongjoong had you pinned on the wall nearby, his lips crashed on yours for a heated kiss. In shock, you didn’t react fast as one of his hand groped your thigh firmly. Your body was frozen, but your brain soon snapped, making you push the man who was kissing you.
« S..Stop ! What do you think you are doing right now ?! » you yelled, panting as if you’d just ran a marathon.
Your boyfriend’s boss just kissed you while he clearly knew who your boyfriend was. Astonishment soon left place for anger. Hongjoong dark eyes glanced at you with a devilish tint. You felt like a pray, caged by the predator who could eat you in a second and you hated that feeling.
« Somehow, I couldn’t help it. I wanted to kiss you as soon as I saw you. » he explained in a nonchalant tone. « Of course I know, you have Seonghwa and everything, but…You must have heard about it. I love women, and when I want something, I get it. »
His words made you shiver in horror. What kind of man could do this without any guilt ?? It was enough for you, that a neat and loud sound of a slap echoed in the empty hallway.
« You’re crazy. » you just muttered after you faced Hongjoong’s, head turned on his right as he just got slapped.
Without any words, you hurried to join your boyfriend, horrified by what happen. But you also realised you couldn’t say anything to him. You could, but it wouldn’t be a good option for him. You knew how close they were, but knowing this, he would surely fight against his boss and be fired within the next days. That’s why you decided to take the best normal face you could have and found Seonghwa at the entrance of the hall.
« Are you alright Y/N ? I almost thought something happened. » Seonghwa asked in a worried tone.
« N…No everything’s alright. I just…took time in the bathroom, sorry. » you muttered, lowering your head. You couldn’t watch him in the eyes at this moment.
Seonghwa looked also puzzled, noticing your cheeks were abnormally red. He thought it was because of the alcohol so he didn’t try to ask for more.
« Let’s go home. » he said, his hand gently pushing you by the back towards the exit.
You nodded maybe too fast, but at least he wasn’t suspicious of anything.
« What about San ? » you asked while you exited the place to your relief.
« Wooyoung drove him home too. He was quite…tipsy. » said Seonghwa next to you.
You appreciated the fresh air brushing your face, happy to head your roommate would be here once you would be home.
The trip back to your home happened in silence, your head dropped on the head back of your seat, just watching the lights and neon passing by your eyes.
« So…Did you like it ? » asked suddenly Seonghwa, making your heart dropped in a second.
« W-What ? »
« The party » he said, his eyes on the road.
« Oh…It was alright I guess…But I don’t think I would go again » you muttered, the reason was pretty clear for you but your boyfriend could think another reason.
« Sorry, I know it made you uncomfortable. Next time I won’t force you to go. »
« No it’s alright, it was fine…It’s just that …it’s a different world to me » you forced a smile for him, your hand gently pressing his shoulder.
Soon, you arrived in front of your building. Seonghwa made sure to get you safely to your door.
« Thank you for tonight » he said lowly, maybe because it was late and didn’t want to wake anyone asleep. « You did well, I’m proud of you »
His praise made you smiled genuinely while you tried to erase the flash of Hongjoong kissing you.
« I’m glad…Thank you for tonight. »
Seonghwa’s warm hands gently cupped your face, pulling you to him for a sweet kiss. This time you were relaxed, because it was him. Because his lips were the only ones which had rights to kiss you and no one else. But why your head kept sending you back to Hongjoong’s lips feeling ?
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peepeepotter · 4 years
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Hogwarts: New Girl AU
A/N: Warning, some canonical changes were made for plot reasons, the biggest being: Harry and Ginny never dated; Harry, Neville, and Draco are all professors; George has a new WWW store in Hogsmeade. Also, she starts off living with the four guys whereas in New Girl she only lived with all four for about a season. I just thought it would be fun!! Also, when I wrote this it felt a lot longer than it ended up being—so let me know if this is too long or too short or just right!! P.S.: I do NOT condone transphobia (I’m LGBT and will defend trans people until the day I die) and obviously I feel JKR is a shitty person, I write because I like writing and we’ll all agree that 5 year old Daniel Radcliffe wrote the HP series :)
Chapter 1: Who’s That Girl?
Pairing: George x Female Reader
Warnings: Cursing
Words: 3k
Series Masterlist
-
“So, you know in horror movies when the girls are like "Oh my god, there's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on in the dark", and you're like "What is your problem? Call the aurors!", and she's like "Okay" but it's too late because she's already getting avada kedavra’d. Well, my story's kind of like that.” y/n said, remembering the borderline traumatic moment that happened two weeks ago.
-
Y/N sat in the back of a muggle taxi, on her way to her shared apartment with her boyfriend Cormac McLaggen. Only, incredibly uncomfortably, she was completely naked under a trench coat.
“It’s a surprise for Cormac. I’m just gonna walk in and drop my coat, like BAM. There it all is. He said he has this fantasy that I’m a veela with a heart of gold.” Y/N attempted to whisper into the phone speaker.
“You added the ‘heart of gold’ thing, didn’t you?” Ginny asked, chuckling and knowing full well that McLaggen wasn’t exactly a thoughtful person, and wouldn’t have included that in a sexual fantasy.
“Yeah. I wanted to really get into the character, you know?” Y/N tried to get into the fantasy more, hoping it would make her less uncomfortable.
“Oh really? What’s your veela name?”
“Uh...Fleur?”
“That ones taken, Y/N.”
“Whatever, I don’t need a veela name.”
“Either way, I’m so proud of you for getting out of your comfort zone! Good luck babe.” Ginny encouraged.
As Y/N walked into the apartment, she was trying to position herself sexily in the living room. She laid on her side on the couch. Too cliché. She propped herself on the back of the couch. Too masculine. Eventually Cormac entered the living room from the bedroom wearing only his boxers, making Y/N panic about the fantasy.
“Y/N! You’re back early! I wasn’t expecting you—“
Y/N dropped the trench coat. Immediately after a girl, Pansy Parkinson she recognized, followed McLaggen out of the bedroom. Their bedroom. And she was only wearing her underwear.
“Oh.”
-
“So that’s what happened and why I really need a new place to live. Anyway...what was the question?” Y/N smiled at the four men in front of her. They all looked traumatized by her story.
“Um, do you have any pets?” George asked.
“Oh, no I don’t. Sorry,” She chuckled awkwardly.
“You know what’s funny? When I saw your ad on DumbledoresList I thought you were women.” Y/N laughed. “Crazy, right?”
“Hold up, why would you think that?” Draco spoke before the other two could.
“Just some of the vocabulary used. Like sun-soaked and exposed brick daydream.”
“Draco you wrote exposed brick daydream? Oh my god,” George was nearly in tears with laughter, Harry and Neville following quickly. “Jar, right now, dude.”
“Yeah, jar, seriously. Five galleons.” Harry agreed, pointing to a jar on the mantle of he fireplace with a neon green post-it note labeled “Prick Jar.”
Draco rolled his eyes, getting up and putting the galleons in the jar.
Y/N coughed, trying to refocus the attention. “Look, I really like this apartment. I also really don’t want to live with my friend anymore. She’s a quidditch player...all her friends and roommates are quidditch players. They get into some real weird shit.” Y/N felt like she was pleading with them. Just let me stay here!
“Look I still don’t feel like we know enough—” George was interrupted by Draco.
“Oh, quidditch players? When can you move in?” Y/N grinned, hoping the promise of these three men meeting hot quidditch players would help.
“No, no, loft meeting. Bathroom.” Harry ordered, leading the way down the long hall to the bathroom at the end. When Y/N heard the door shut she quickly and silently followed, eavesdropping on the conversation.
“Come ON guys, she’s friends with quidditch players. Next to veela’s and the girls at Beauxbaton, that’s like the hottest girls in existence.” Draco begged the other two.
“The fact that you’re a professor now and you said that is like...incredibly disturbing.” Harry glared at Draco, George and Neville shaking their heads.
“Yeah, and my sister is a quidditch player so I don’t know about that.” George shuddered.
“I’m not going to lie to you guys, I don’t want a girl living here. Sometimes, I get home from a long day of teaching and I just want to strip and lay on the couch. Let the boys chill.” Harry casually shared. Y/N gagged at the thought, but the other three men in the bathroom made noises of agreement, or at least understandment of his statement.
“I am...actually neutral on this one.” Neville shrugged, causing Draco to scoff.
“You would be neutral on this.” Draco rolled his eyes, but directed his attention toward their fourth roommate. “Alright George, tie-breaker. It’s up to you. Is she in or out?”
“You guys know I don’t do well under pressure like this. Just give me a minute let me think.”
Both Harry and Draco started arguing with each other, putting George under more pressure to make a decision. He slowly backed himself into the stall in the bathroom and locked it. Neville watched everything play out, arms crossed with a smile on his face.
“Oh, now look what you’ve done!” Draco said, gesturing to the hiding George.
“What I’ve done! You started it—” Harry replied.
“Whatever, executive decision—she’s in.” Draco announced.
“YAY! I’m in!” Y/N exclaimed, not able to contain her excitement on the other side of the bathroom door. Draco opened the bathroom door.
“Nobody decided putting a silencing charm on the door would be a good idea?” Harry asked the boys in the bathroom.
“Oh you guys have a stall and urinals? Like a public bathroom? Okay, yeah I guess I can get used to that.” Y/N said, looking around the bathroom that reminded her a little too much of the bathrooms at Hogwarts.
“What do you do for a living anyway? Why do you want to live out here in Hogsmeade?” Draco asked as the group of five made their way back to the living room.
“I just became a professor at Hogwarts! I spent a really long time in both the muggle world and the magical world studying creatures. So, I’m taking over for Hagrid.” Y/N smiled, very excited to be doing her two favorite things in the world: working with animals, and teaching bright young minds.
“Oh, Harry, Neville and I are professors at Hogwarts too. I teach potions, Neville teaches herbology, and Harry teaches...Harry what fucking subject do you teach?” Draco crooked an eyebrow at Harry, purposely acting like he didn’t know what Harry taught.
“Defense against the dark arts.” Harry glared at Draco. “And George here just opened a new Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes shop in Hogsmeade.” Harry said, clapping George’s back. George sheepishly smiled at Y/N.
“Oh that’s awesome! I loved pranks at Ilvermorny. Cormac hated pranks.” Y/N started to tear up, staring off into space.
“George gets it, he was dumped, too.” Draco took his turn to clap his hand on George’s back this time.
“Yeah. Dumped,” George scoffed.
-
“George I just can’t do this anymore!” Angelina pleaded with George as he covered his ears, despite only the one really working.
“LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU! WE CAN’T BREAK UP IF I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” George yelled.
-
“Yeah, I was dumped.” George shrugged. “What about it? It was like eight months ago Draco! Move past it. Pfft, dumped.” George got very heated over...seemingly very little, Y/N noticed.
“Ignore him, he’s still fragile. Which, you aren’t too fragile, right?” Draco asked.
“Pfft. I’m so tough. Don’t even worry about it.”
-
“We’ll always have Paris. We didn’t have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night. … And you never will. But I’ve got a job to do, too. Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of.” Y/N was screaming the words of the monologue from Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca at the television, the four men staring at her from the kitchen.
“Feel like we’ve made a mistake yet?” Harry asked Draco, who rolled his eyes and approached Y/N.
“Y/N, stop.” Draco turned the television off. “C’mon, you can’t be like this! You’re a strong woman! Strong women don’t cry over men who clearly didn’t deserve them in the first place! Strong women go out and hook up with strangers in the bar in Hogsmeade to get over their ain’t-shit exes.” Draco pulled Y/N up from off the couch. “Go take a shower. We’re going to the Three Broomsticks tonight and you’re hooking up with someone.” Draco pushed her in the direction of the bathroom.
“And that gentleman is how you take care of a crying woman. Not that any of you know how to handle women at all.” Draco snipped at the three men, who—to be fair—did not know how to deal with women at all.
-
At the Three Broomsticks, the four men watched Y/N absolutely fail at flirting with any even remotely viable man in the bar. Eventually Draco called her back over to the booth where the four men drank and talked about their days.
“Honey, you’ve got to stop doing whatever it is you were doing out there. In fact, you’re going to stop doing anything. You are going to go sit at the bar and look pretty until a man approaches you, and then you are going to smile and nod and agree to go out with him.” Draco nagged. The three other men were chuckling quietly as Y/N trudged to the bar, hoping for men to approach her.
“Anyway, what is this shit we’re chaperoning on Friday night?” Draco turned to Neville and Harry, hoping one of the two would know.
“I think it’s a school dance but like...not fun for the kids at all. Like I don’t think there’s actually any dancing at all.” Harry summed, confused as well. None of them had ever been to muggle high school, and did not understand what a “homecoming” dance was. The Muggle Studies professor suggested it might be fun for the first Friday back to school, and McGonagall agreed as long as the kids didn’t have too much contact on the dance floor. The Muggle Studies teacher explained to the three men that it was “middle school rules, no touching below the shoulders, room for Merlin in the middle.” if dancing were to be allowed. Neville, Harry, and Draco were clueless as to what that meant.
“Glad I won’t be in on that shit show.” George laughed, taking a sip of his drink.
“We actually signed you up.” Draco said nonchalantly, drinking his beer. George spat his beer out violently.
“Excuse me? I have to spend my Friday night watching a bunch of kids...do what? Drink butterbeer and sit on opposite ends of a room?!” George was clearly pissed off, wanting to have done literally anything else with his Friday night.
“I mean, you’ll see your brother.” Harry offered, which actually eased George’s tensions a bit. He smiled, missing his family.
“Oh, alright. Harry, you charmer, you always know how to get me.” George winked at Harry who waved him off.
“How are things going with you and uh...Loony?” Draco asked Neville. The three other men rolled their eyes, annoyed at how Draco still seemed to live in his own little world.
“Luna. And things are going...they’re going.” Neville shrugged, clueless to his own love life.
“Just as expected, he doesn’t know anything.” Draco shook his head at George and Harry, as if Neville’s cluelessness was their fault.
“Are you blaming—” Before Harry could finish accusing Draco of exactly what Draco was doing, Y/N came back from the bar, squealing about getting a date.
“What did you do?” Draco asked, smirking, just knowing he was right.
“I did what you said! I just smiled and nodded and said I wanted to hookup and he gave me his number and now we’re going out Friday night!” Y/N jumped up and down in tiny jumps, starting to fist-pump.
“This American is so weird sometimes.” Harry whispered.
“It’s endearing, I think.” Neville commented.
“Naive, maybe.” George rolled his eyes, the only one who seemed to notice that she blatantly told the man she would have sex with him.
-
When the night of her date rolled around, the four men found themselves with an unexpected floo guest.
“Ginny, what are you doing—” George stood.
“Who told her it was a good idea to get back out there again? That’s not your job, that’s my job. I’m her best friend, you guys are just some weird adult men living together. No offense brother, dear.” Ginny was in the living room, pointing an accusing finger at the men sat on the couch while Y/N was in her bedroom getting ready. Ginny was clearly ready to go out clubbing for the night, and was dressed in a short dress and very tall heels.
“None taken.” George rolled his eyes, plopping himself back on the couch.
“Now I’m going to go handle the mess you all created, thank you very much.” Ginny glared, walking over to Y/N’s room and walking in.
Y/N laid on the ground surrounded by clothes. Her hair and makeup was clearly done, but she seemed stumped on what to wear. She was currently wearing a witch hat, a crop top, sweatpants, and cowgirl boots.
“Y/N,” Ginny sighed. “What were you going for with this?” Ginny gestured up and down Y/N’s body.
“Witchy space cowgirl.” Y/N shrugged. “It seems like something you’d find in a porn anyway—”
“Here, let’s find you clothes that will actually get you laid.”
After about half an hour, Ginny emerged from Y/N’s room first, dressed in a crop top and sweatpants.
“Now presenting, the new but not improved, still absolutely perfect Y/N.” Ginny gestured towards Y/N’s bedroom, where Y/N emerged. She was wearing the short black sleeveless dress and tall heels Ginny had been wearing when she emerged from the floo. Draco let out a whistle, Harry and Neville started clapping, and George was sat, stunned. Well, until Y/N started fist pumping again, then they all started booing her.
“Don’t let me keep you guys, I know you have plans with a bunch of 11 to 17 year olds tonight.” Y/N giggled, watching as the men stood up at the reminder.
“Don’t worry, we’d rather be anywhere else. Even here watching your weird dancing.” Draco puffed, the other men agreeing.
-
“So yeah, that’s how we got a new roommate.” George explained to Fred, who’s hazy, ghostly form nodded.
“Believe it or not, I actually know her. I was her first friend here.” Fred grinned, pointing to himself. George wasn’t surprised. Ever since Fred died and became a ghost, Fred frequently felt lonely, and George knew that. Besides Peeves, he really didn’t have many friends. He couldn’t interrupt teachers while they were teaching, but since Care for Magical Creatures was not a required class, Y/N had a lot of free time. They bonded over pranks, baked goods, and George. “She’s so cute! You totally would’ve dated her a decade ago.” Fred teased his younger twin.
“Yeah, well, things change I guess.” George felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, and looked at the caller ID to find it as Madam Puddifoot’s store number. “One second.” He told his brother. “Madam Puddifoot?” George asked.
“George dearie, your friend Y/N here was stood up by her date. I figured someone should know, she’s in my shop crying and I have to close in,” she paused, clearly checking the time. “In a half hour. Do you think you could help?” George stood, already walking towards the school’s exit.
-
“Oh hello there.” Y/N sniffled, eyes red and puffy as she looked up to see George taking a seat in front of her. “Don’t you have a school dance you’re supposed to be chaperoning.” She furrowed her eyebrows, pointing a finger at him. She meant for it to be accusatory, but with red puffy eyes, George mostly found it (as Neville said) endearing.
“Some things are more important than watching boys and girls stand on opposite ends of a room.” He shrugged, reaching across the table and grabbing his friends hand. “Listen, real men don’t treat women the way you’ve been treated the past few weeks. I’m sorry you’re going through this. If it makes you feel better, sometimes I still call my ex and leave voicemails in a country accent.” George offered, making Y/N giggled, wiping lone tears.
“Well, you can always call me and talk to me in a country accent instead.” She shrugged, in an attempt to help him the way he’s come to help her. “Do you want to go home and watch—”
“Literally anything other than Casablanca, okay? I will watch whatever sad chick flick you want, but you have watched Casablanca like twenty times this week.” George puffed, standing up and reaching his hand out for Y/N. “Let’s go home and get drunk and cry.” He smiled. Y/N grinned, grabbing his hand and letting him walk her out of the shop. She was still embarrassed, but her heart felt a lot better knowing someone came to help her out of this feeling. She’d never admit it to George, but it was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her.
-
When Draco, Neville, and Harry returned home, their suit jackets thrown over their shoulders and looking rather tired from dealing with teenagers all night, they found quite the sight for their sore eyes. George and Y/N were stood in front of the TV, clearly drunk, singing along to Heath Ledger’s character serenading Julia Stiles character in 10 Things I Hate About You. Draco, Neville, and Harry all looked at each other, shrugging. They dropped their suit coats and joined in, feeding the fire that was drunken George and Y/N.
And that was the end to Y/N’s first week in the loft above the Weasley’s Wizards Wheezes store in Hogsmeade.
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