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rawbins-undertale-blog · 3 years

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hey there again!!!

might i slide in this fine ask box with another HC request?

if yes, then could you please write some HCs where uf and ht sanses and papyruses (seperate of course) s/o gets put in a hospital for a lil bit? you can decide what happened to s/o. maybe a bad heatstroke cuz its summer or something (totally not because its a bad heatwave where im living rn haha nope). idk, i just crave angst or hurt/comfort again from my fave skeletons.

if you're not up for this, its totally fine!!

thank you, have a chill day/night B)

- 🌌 anon whos sunburns arent stinging that much anymore B)

*Evil cackling* OH-HO-HO, yOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MONSTER YOU HAVE UNLEASHED…… I am an evil being who feeds off of angst and pain, and you’ve given me ample opportunity to make some of that sweet sweet angst >:-)))))))))

I tried to keep it ambiguous as to what you’re in for, mostly because I want you to be able to imagine heatstroke and me to be able to think “hahahah stab stab”! ^^

Also!!! The healthcare system in some other countries is fucking insane (like??? You guys have to pay to not die??????) so I’ll be going off of what I know about the healthcare system in Sweden where it’s free. (At least I’m 99% sure it’s free, except for like. Small things. For example, my antidepressants. I had to buy those myself when I was still on them.)

UF + HT BROS WHEN S/O IS IN THE HOSPITAL

Red (Underfell Sans):

He’s panicking so so bad, he’s terrified. What if you die?

Curses out anybody who tries to keep him from you, including the poor nurse who’s just doing their job

Actually he just. curses in general. He’s just spewing cuss words to seem angry instead of scared because That’s Definitely Better

Most likely out of all four to physically lash out at… well, anybody (except you obviously) lol

Red hates hospitals too, to make matters worse. He doesn’t know why, but they make him feel uncomfortable.

If somebody did this to you purposely and he’s not allowed by your side, he’s going out to find the person and kick their ass during that time lol

If nobody did this to you, he’s pacing and cursing and jfc Red, you do realise there are other people here right enjdjdjdjsjsk

This fucker tries to pull a “pfff nah i was never worried” but like. Red. Darling. Light of my life. Stars in my sky. Center of my universe. Bitch of my heart. Everyone can see right through your “anger” and literally your shaking voice is so not convincing. Get a better poker face and voice.

With some prodding, admits that finehewasscaredyou’ddieandhethoughthisheartstoppedforasecondwhichisweird’causehedoes’tevenhaveaheartanywaysthat’sovernowsowhocares

(He’s not great at expressing himself but it’s still progress)

WILL be staying right by you as you recover. You’ve no choice. (You do actually, he respects you and will back off if you tell him to)

Edge (Underfell Papyrus):

Oh no. Oh no.

Edge is trying his very best not to show any emotions but he’s not good at it because like. It doesn’t take a genius to see that him screeching angrily at people and demanding for the doctors to fix this is actually him poorly masking his fear. Edge doesn’t have the best poker face lol

He’s so pissed if he can’t stay right next to you the whole time. You’re his S/O!! What kind of bullshit is this?!

If you do need to be left alone with doctors and such things, Edge will do one or two things depending on why you're in the hospital, how bad what you’re in for is and for how long he can’t see you.

If you’re here for something like heatstroke - AKA something not brought on by somebody else - he’ll call friends and such while pacing and somewhat frantically share your current condition.

However, if anybody did this to you; and you’re in bad shape… Well, even fucking Satan will cower at the brutality of Edge’s revenge.

When he’s allowed to be, he’s by your side and - depending on why you’re in and for what - he might nag you for being careless, reassure you it wasn’t your fault, reassure you in general, and/or just stay silent.

It’s barely noticeable, but just noticeable enough, that you can tell that he’s shaking.

All it takes is a “are you okay?” For him to break and confess how scared he was.

For a moment he was back Underground and it was horrible and he felt so powerless and he hates that. He’s so, so happy you’re okay and he- he swears he’ll be with you on your way to recovery. Please just never get hurt again.

Dusk (Horrortale Sans):

If you thought Red and Edge were scared, just know it’s nothing compared to the absolute terror he feels.

Dusk knows how fragile the human body can be. He’s seen horrific things happen to humans and monsters alike and he’s always hyper-aware of just how easy it’d be to kill and/or hurt you.

Logically, he knows you won’t die, he knows human anatomy well enough to know this is something you’ll bounce back from, but his instincts are going haywire and all he can think of are the mangled corpses back Underground. It doesn’t matter whether your condition has anything to do with broken limbs or not, because those pictures are what his mind is forcing onto him.

He refuses to leave your side. If he’s forced away from you by nurses/doctors/staff, he’ll protest but if he really can’t be by you for your safety, he’ll be anxiously hovering as close by as he possibly can. Whenever he’s allowed to touch you, he’s practically glued onto you.

If he’s sure it’s just the two of you, and you’re unconscious, he’ll probably cry.

He… He hates being reminded of your mortality. He hates the idea that any day could be your last. He doesn’t know what he’d do if you were gone.

(He’d dust, probably.)

If somebody else got your purposely hurt, he’s going to hunt them down after a while (after you’ve recovered enough for him to be comfortable leaving you alone for a bit). He’s not going to kill them, but he might rough them up a bit -- but most likely, he’ll just intimidate them and/or threaten them. (It’d be a different story if you were murdered.)

Whenever you’re conscious, he’ll do pretty much anything you say, so long as it won’t get you anymore hurt or risk stunting your recovery.

When you’re released from the hospital, he’ll be by your side nearly 24/7 because he hates the idea of you getting hurt again just because he wasn’t there to protect you.

Aster (Horrortale Papyrus):

Tries to look calm and composed, but he does about as poor of a job as his brother. He does better in that he doesn’t act out or get in the way of the nurses, but he’s also crying and shaking and sobbing and can’t stop.

You getting injured triggers him pretty badly. If you’re not bleeding, it’ll probably be “only” a bad anxiety attack, but if there’s any blood involved it’s escalating into a full-blown panic attack.

He’s a nurse himself, but I doubt he’d be allowed to work with the other nurses when it comes to you because of how unsteady he is. He’s not sure whether he’s thankful for it or not, because he doesn’t trust himself to do a good job but he also wants to be there for you. He trusts his colleagues, but it’s still nerve-wracking.

Just like the others, he’s glued to your side when he’s allowed to be. Very metaphorically. He’s the best of them all at giving you space, partially because he’s just more respectful lol and partially because he’s a nurse so he knows not to smother you with physical affection until you’re in the clear.

If somebody caused you to go into this state, he will just like Dusk go and find them. He won’t do anything physical, but he does intimidate the person very effectively. He’s a terrifying giant and he knows how to use that to his advantage.

When you’re fine again, he’ll be acting anxious and protective for a while. He feels really guilty about it (because he should be comforting you - plus, he’s a nurse! He’s seen way worse things on his job) but you’ll have to give him comfort. This whole thing didn’t inspire much positive feelings in him and it stressed him out a lot, it may honestly take more of a toll on him than it does you.

#imagines tag #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons #undertale au #horrortale sans #y/n x sans #reader x sans #sans #sans x y/n #sans x reader #uf papyrus #y/n x papyrus #papyrus x y/n #reader x papyrus #papyrus #papyrus x reader #underfell #horrortale #🌌 anon

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bjornswoman · 3 years

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Blue piercing eyes

Requested by none.

Author's note: Hey guys! I hope each one of you is alright. I want to thank yoy again for your support, that means a lot for me. Especially, now that I am getting through a difficult period time. Also, sorry for any mistakes. Thank you for reading this!

Pairing: Modern!Bjorn x Reader.

Genre: Modern!au, romance, drama, angst.

Summary: You and Bjorn reunite again after two painful months.

Warnings: Jealousy.

You tried to live a peaceful life, away from him and the drama of his world, that followed him everywhere. Wherever he was, the placed ended up destroyed. You even left your home, you left Denmark and moved somewhere else, thinking that he wouldn't find you. You had reached Spain to find your peace, but Bjorn Lothbrok was stubborn and he would do anything to take you back. The reason you left wasn't because you didn't love him. You loved him with every last piece of you. Your heart was beating only for him and the fact that you were apart, teared it off, but you couldn't do nothing else.

He had warned you that his job was his top priority and all the matters that happened into it. You didn't care, at first, but that changed when be spent more and more time away from you, because of business. Of course, business included being close to attracting women. You knew how Bjorn could get when he was close to a hot woman, he couldn't handle himself. He loved you, he really did and you knew that, but that was his weak spot. He was the perfect man. He was a successful businessman, a good looking man and an even better lover, you knew too well how to satisfy a woman. He was a father, he loved his children, he had told you that and even if he didn't, you would see it in his eyes. He loved them deeply, but he didn't really know how to express it, because his own father had never really gotten to tell him. He just taught him how to be the successful heir of his company. He kept saying that he regretted for not being in their lives, you told him that never was late, but, as the stubborn man he was, he didn't listen, he thought that he had lost any chance.

The things between you got bad and then worse when he met your boss. You were working in a well-known law firm. Actually, he had already known him, obviously. Bjorn Lothbrok knew literally everyone in this country and everyone knew him. After all, his family was the richest one in Denmark. The name Lothbrok was known all over the world and many famous businessmen craved a deal with them. Your boss, Mr Jones, was a womanizer, as well as your beloved boyfriend. He was hitting on you non-stop not knowing about your relationship with Bjorn, but even when he learned, he kept doing that. His flirting was the reason of the fights that destroyed you. He spoke harsh words, just to harm you, and you did the same and then your relationship ended.

After all that, you knew that you had to leave from Denmark. Ubbe, his younger brother, told that be was a mess and that he wouldn't let things this way. You wanted to be with him, but all that drama and you being never something serious for him, you decided that it your time to leave Denmark. Ubbe warned you that he would chase after you, but you were sure that you would make it to hide yourself from him and maybe, when he had forgotten you, you would return to your home and restart everything.

Now, after two months, you had settled down. You had a new job and made some new friends. You even managed to go on a date with some man. His name was Olaf, luckily, he was from Sweden. Maria, one of new friends, was working in the same company with him. She was the one whi insisted that you should date someone and you did. At first, you didn't like the idea of going out with someone that wasn't Bjorn Lothbrok, but, when you got to know Olaf, you liked spending time with him. He wasn't Bjorn, but no one would be, you had to move on, as you were sure that he did.

The only problem was that he didn't move on, because you loved you. He couldn't even lay with another woman. Yes, Bjorn Lothbrok couldn't lay with another because of you. Every single time he saw your figure everywhere in the room. He even tried to not be in a room to claim a woman, but you were still around there. He couldn't even imagine that he would feel something like that towards a woman, but there he was, feeling helpless. He tried to find you all this time and when he did, the deal with that Spanish men seemed the best option. They were pain in his ass for a whole year and now they were lucky that Madrid was where you decided to hide yourself, but nothing could be hidden from Bjorn Lothbrok.

"Stop! Please, I can't! It's..... my belly is hurting! Olaf, please you need to stop!" You tried to say within your laughter. You couldn't stop laughing. All night he was telling you some of some ridiculously funny jokes, you couldn't stop laughing. He was smiling at you. He liked you and tried to make him feel more comfortable when you were together, that's why he started saying that jokes. He wanted you to open up.

You couldn't do that. You needed to fully trust him before you started sharing private stuff about you with him. It wasn't like Bjorn. When you were with him you felt comfortable, that had been happening since your first actual date. Now with Olaf, it was different. Maria said that it was normal, because you hadn't been on a date with anyone, except Bjorn, but you didn't feel like it.

Olaf continued saying his jokes, but it wasn't funny anymore. Your laughter died when you saw Bjorn entering that same restaurant. His hand was wrapped around a woman's waist. She looked like a doll, probably she was a model. He didn't look at you neither once. Olaf looked at you confused. You had totally forgotten about him for a moment, but his voice took you back there on your table.

"Is-is everything all right?" He asked looking where you were looking before. He couldn't understand what was happening. "Do you-do you know that man?" He asked again and you coughed. You didn't want to lie to him, but that seemed the only solution at that moment.

"Well, not really. He just seemed familiar to me, but I don't really know him." You lied and he smiled at you again. Your eyes found their way to Bjorn again. This time they made contact with his blue piercing eyes. He didn't looked at you for long. His gaze returned to that woman. You tried to concentrate on what Olaf were saying. Your mind, as well as your heart, was on Bjorn and that blond woman who reminded you of Barbie.

"As I told you before, the company I work for is goimg to deal with some company of Denmark and--" His words made you look at him. He just said company of Denmark, you heard that clear. He was here because of a deal. Then what was this woman doing here, next to your man? Technically, he wasn't your man, not anymore, but you cared.

"You just said company of Denmark, didn't you?" You tried not to yell and you succeeded, only because you didn't want Bjorn to understand, but he did and that was why he smirked. Literally, this man could hear anything, even a cat walking. Olaf nodded and you run your hand through your hair. "Do you-do you know how the CEO of that company is called? Actually, is his name Bjorn Lothbrok?" You whispered and he frowned. He was completely confused. Firstly, he didn't know why you bothered and secondly, he couldn't understand why you were whispering.

"I think so." He spoke and you smiked. Now he was completely lost. He couldn't understand you. "Are you okay, (Y/N)? Do you want ys to leave, you know to continue our night somewhere else?" He asked and you thought about it for a while. If you left now, you wouldn't be close enough to watching him and if you stayed, you would be close enough, but you would be caught up for sure because you couldn't stop staring at them. Leaving was the right thing to do, you didn't want him to thinking that you were staying tgere vecause of him. But if you left, you wouldn't know were he was. That didn't really mattered. A voice inside your hears was yelling at you that you would meet him again.

"I am fine, but I do think that we should leave. I know were we should go. It's funnier there." You spoke and grabbed your jacket. He stood up and a wide smile covered his face. Bjorn wasn't as happy as Olaf. You had succeeded. You glanced at him. You was glaring at you. You smiled to yourself and left.

The fact that Bjorn was enraged because of you made you happy, but that woman with him didn't. You were almost sure that he had moved on, but if he had, why would he be angry with you dating another man? You needed answers and only Bjorn could give them to you, but you were sure that he wasn't willing to give them and even if you was, you wouldn't dare to ask for them. You could imagine that smirk on his face and that drove you crazy.

You were jealous, so much jealous that you couldn't control your thoughts, but you had no right to be. You had found another man and he did the same. You had to be happy for him. Whatever happened between you, wasn't meant to last. Maybe that way was better, but that didn't make it less painful. It hurt seeing him with another woman.

On the other hand, he was enraged. He tried to control his anger and not beat that man to death. That wouldn't help your relationship at all, but he couldn't see him make you laugh or hold your hand, like he used to do. Actually, he had never really held your hand. His hand had always been wrapped around your waist. He was possessive and that movement meant to show to every other man who wanted you, that you were his. He had totally forgotten about the blonde doll with him, but she made sure to remember him. She cleared her throat, but still he didn't seem to care for her. She sighed deep.

"Bjorn!" She whispered yelled and he looked at her frowned. She smiled at him and he looked back at you. You and that prick had stood up and probably were going to leave this place.

He hadn't picked this place randomly, he had learned about you dating this man and even that this place was where you going most of the times. So he wouldn't miss the chance to encounter with you here. He thought that all this would be less painful, but it wasn't. He even managed to bring Stella. She was a model, they met somewhere he couldn't reacall. She was just a friend. Yes, Bjorn Lothbrok had friends that were female. She was one of them. After all, she wasn't interested in any man.

Your eyes locked with his dark angry blue before you make your way out of that place. If eyes killed, you would be dead. Everyone would be dead inside that place.

You started walking with Olaf by your side. No one of you really talked. You were thinking about Bjorn. He looked more beautiful than before. His beard, that you loved so much, had grew much longer and his hair was shorter and that blue eyes that you missed so much. You could sense that something was bothering Olaf, as well, but Bjorn was the only thing you could think.

"There something in your mind that's bothering you, I can sense it you know and I think that it has to do with that man from earlier in the restaurant." Olaf spoke and you turned your face and looked at him. You didn't want to lie to him. He didn't deserve all of this. He was a funny and good guy. He deserved a woman who cared about him truly and loved him, not you. All you could think about, all you cared about was Bjorn. You were stil in love with him. Actually, you had never stopped. You couldn't stop.

You turned your gaze down on the ground. You weren't proud for that. You didn't want to hurt him. He deserved to know the truth. He was nothing but good and fair to you all this time. He didn't even make any move to lay with you. He respected you, because he had understood that something bothered you.

"There is something that's bothering me and yes, it has to do with him. His name is Bjorn and he is my ex." You said in stable tone of voice.

"Bjorn as Bjorn Lothbrok?" He asked, trying to join the pieces together. You nodded at him and he frowned. Now all made sense. He was the man Maria told him about. He told him that you had broken up with your boyfriend and that was the reason you came to Madrid. You lived in Denmark and Bjorn lived there too. Also, Maria told him that you tried to get away from that man. It all made sense. He was famous and powerful. "And you? I mean, do you still love him?" He asked, but you didn't really answered. He knew the answer himself. He could see it in your eyes. When you looked at him in the restaurant, he saw a gleam in your eyes, something that he hadn't seen inside there before. It hurt him, because he liked you, but he couldn't make you love him or even like him. If Bjorn was the man who could make you happy, he would ve happy as well. People said that if you love someone, you let him go. That was what he was going to do.

"I have never stopped loving him. You are a good guy, you truly are. But for me there is only Bjorn. My Gods have decided that I am made to love him, but we can't be together, things between us are complicated. Sorry, if that hurts, but I can't stop it. I wanted to forget about him and be with you. I tried, but I can't control my feelings." You spoke and your eyes teared up. What you said was the truth. It was upon you these feelings, you didn't have the power to banish them. Your tears were streaming insanely from you eyes. You couldn't even control that.

"I understand you. That kind of love is difficult, if not impossible, to die. If you are happy because of him, I am happy, as well. Just not cry. You have nothing to be sorry about. It's your feelings, you can't change them. I really like you, yeah, and I want to fight for you, but I know that I will lose." He said and stopped walking, you stopped, as well. His hands cupped your hand and his thumbs wiped away your tears. "You shouldn't cry. That eyes aren't made for crying. Don't let him leave, (Y/N). You are suffering without and he is suffering too. Actually, he probably wants to kill me. His eyes were throwing daggers to me. I am lucky because eyes can't kill." He said and you smiled. He was so sweet. He even tried to make you smile after all this.

"His piercing blue eyes can kill you know." You said and both of you laughed. After a small conversation, he left. You sat on a bench and looked at the starry night sky. Madrid was busy at night. People were laughing and having fun. You were watching them having fun in a try to forget about your own thoughts, but that seemed impossible. Bjorn were always there, inside your mind, haunting your thoughts. You would never find the peace you wanted, because there is no peace when you are away from only person you care so much about. You would only find your peace by his side, but even there the problems would exist.

A very familiar scent invaded in your nostrils. You lifted your gaze and saw his face. He sat down next to you and for a moment or so no one of you really talked. You were just watching the busy streats. You were sure that he could listen your heart pounding inside your chest. You were together after two whole months and your skin was burning. Your hearts couldn't stop beating so fast. You were sure that if it continued to beat like that, it would be ripped off your chest. You turned to look at him, he was looking at you. Blue piercing eyes met with yours and they stayed there.

"Were is your..... friend?" He said playfully and took a cigarette out of his pocket. He placed it on his lips and light it up. You watched every single movement of his. "Do you want one?" He offered yiu cigarette and you took it. He seemed surprised by this, because you didn't really smoke before. He light it up for you and you inhaled the smoke and then exhaled. Now he was watching your movements. "I thought you hate smoking." He continued and you turned again to him.

"Yes, I hated it, but I guess I have adopted bad habits since I came here. As for Olaf, he probably went to his home or somewhere else. He is a good guy, but not for me." You said and looked back at the street. You exhaled the smoke before you start talking again. "What about your friend?" You asked, trying to sound like you didn't care, but in fact you did. You wanted to ask why he was here, sitting next to you, when he could ve somewhere with that blonde doll, you saw him with, but you were a coward. He smiled. He had succeeded, you were jealous.

"Probably somewhere with her girlfriend." He answered and you looked at him frowned. You couldn't understand. He threw away his cigarette and moved closer to you. You did the same. His hands cupped your face and he looked deep in your eyes. "You were crying. You know that I hate it when you cry." He whispered and his thumbs caressed your cheeks. You closed your eyes for a moment.

"Why did you come here, Bjorn? Don't tell about some stupid deal, I won't believe it." You said and he sighed.

"I came for you, (Y/N). I thought I was fine when you left, that I didn't need you. I was angry with you for leaving me, but I didn't want to admit it. I tried to lay with some women, but you were always there, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I need you. I-I..... love you." He confessed and you tears fell from your eyes again. His thumbs on your cheeks wiped them away. "Come back home." He whispered and you closed your eyes again.

"I tried to forget about you, to start a new life here away from my old one, I even found a man that wasn't you, but nothing seemed to work out, because of my mind. You were, you are always inside there haunting my thoughts. I don't really sleep, you eyes don't let me. Earlier today, I told Olaf about us and he understood. He told me not to let you leave. He even told me that I am suffering when I am not with you and I am not going to deny it. I love you too much to bear living without you, Bjorn." You whispered and he smirked, but not for long. His lips pressed on yours, in a fierce and rough kiss. He was biting you hungrily within the kiss. You loved it. You loved all the marks that he left to your body each time, hickeys, scratches, bites, bruises, you were used to that. He gripped your body firmly, he didn't mean to harm you. He was just getting too much exciting about this and he couldn't handle himself. He hurt you sometimes because of his size and his fast pace, but you liked it. At first it was a little painful, but then it was only pleasure.

When you stopped kissing, you looked at his eyes again. All this was like a dream. He smiled at you and you did the same. He didn't smile often. Most of the times he was angry and his eyebrows were knitted, because of anger.

"So this means that you are coming back." He said and you nodded.

Your relationship didn't work out at first, but it would in the future. Everything would be different after this night. After all this time you were apart, he knew that he needed you, that he loved you. He had loved other woman before, but no one of them made him feel this way. What he felt for you wasn't something that he could handle or control. He liked being in control and that drove him crazy. He would try to be the right man for you. He wanted to be ans he would.

#vikings bjorn #bjorn lothbrok #bjorn ragnarsson #bjorn ironside #bjorn imagine #bjorn x reader #vikings imagine #vikings x reader

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nhlandotherimagines · 3 years

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Family isn’t Always Blood- Part 1 Elias Pettersson x Fem!OC

Masterlist | Part 2 | Part 3 |

Summary: Kinsey Waters, has never known family. Not a good one anyway. So when her boyfriend, Elias Pettersson, his family, and friends all start making comments about the pair starting a family of their own, she panics. Can she even be a good mother? What if she can’t? Will Elias leave her?

Author’s Notes: So here we go with Part 1! This will be a 3 part series, and it’s very self indulgent, so I hope some of you can also enjoy it! Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated! Thank You!

Word Count: approx. 4.4 k

Warnings: talks of divorce, absent parents, mentions of children/pregnancy, briefly implied sexual acts (nothing too spicy I promise), some strong language at times, self doubt and negative self-talk, some fluff too of course! Baby fever maybe? If there is anything else I should be adding here please let me know!!

———

Sometimes life isn’t fair. Maybe most of the time even. I often wonder what I did to deserve the life I’ve been given. Why I was born into a family devoid of love, why my parents would bring a child into the world to live their life yearning for their mother’s affection, and why a broken family is all I would ever see. These questions continue to plague my mind to this day, but at least now I can say I know a loving family is something that can, and does, exist.

A real family exists in the form of the Pettersson’s. At first, I was jealous of my boyfriend’s upbringing, and if I’m honest, I still am to a certain extent. Elias cares so deeply for everyone. His teammates, his friends, his brother, his parents, and honestly just everyone he meets. Including me. Although it has been hard to accept that someone with no obligation to, actually cares about me, Elias does his best to show me every day.

I watch from the opposite side of the room as Elias FaceTimes his family, and a sad smile forms on my lips. His voice is gentle, yet excited, as he speaks animatedly to his family in Swedish. His mom, Irene, obviously gushing over her son, has tears stinging my eyes. I haven’t spoken to my mother in years, not that I want to talk to her, but watching how Elias’ eyes light up as soon as he sees her, has me wishing I had someone like that. Anyone really.

“She’s coming to visit next month.” Elias smiles, placing a gentle kiss to my hairline, pulling me from my thoughts. “She is excited to meet you in person.”

“I’m excited to meet her too! Did you tell her to bring the photo albums?” I tease with a wink, earning a chuckle from Elias.

“Don’t you worry, even if she forgets them, odds are she will try and smuggle you back to Sweden with her! She’s going to love you.” he smiles against my lips as he places a sweet kiss to them. I let the stress of meeting his mother melt away as he kisses me. Maybe it won’t be so bad.

------

“Elias cares for you a lot.” Irene speaks softly from her seat next to me. The other family and friends buzzing around during warmups, absolutely oblivious to the nerves that have been coursing through me from the moment I stepped into the rink.

“I care for him too. He is a great man, you did a fantastic job raising him.” I smile at her, hoping she hears the sincerity in my compliment.

“He is wonderful.” She pauses, looking down to the ice watching as her son interacts with the fans. I follow her gaze, and watch as Elias interacts with a little girl. A wide grin on his face as he throws a puck over the glass to her. My heart flutters and I can’t fight the smile forming on my face. “He will make a fantastic father.”

Her words cause a wave of nausea to rip through me, and I’m glad she is so focused on her son. Elias and I haven’t spoken about children or the future much at all yet. I’m sure he would make a great father, there is no doubt in my mind. Me on the other hand? I’m sure I would be a poor excuse for a mother.

It’s not even that I don’t want kids. I love them, and I’d love to have a tiny little forever friend, but I can’t. You see, to become a good writer all I had to do was read the work of as many talented writers as possible, and from them I learned how to be a good writer. Therefore it would make sense that, to be a good mother, one would have to learn from a good mother. Something that I have not had the pleasure of knowing.

I don’t respond to Irene’s comment, but she doesn’t seem to notice. She also doesn’t notice how uneasy I am for the entire game, and for that I am thankful.

Her son however, knows me much better. “What’s wrong?” He asks the moment we are alone in his bedroom that evening after the game. Of course he can tell, I’ve been off all night. I shake my head as I change into a pair of shorts and one of his hoodies. “Kins, come on. What did she say to you?” His voice is pleading now.

“Elias, it’s nothing I promise. Your mother is fantastic, I love her.” I smile over my shoulder at him as I make my way into the bathroom to wash off my makeup. Elias is hot on my heels, and he leans against the counter beside me.

“So why are you acting so…” he pauses, frustration evident in his voice as he searches for the right word to use. “Weird?”

I let out a long sigh, and dry off my face before stepping into him. Wrapping my arms around his neck I give him a sad smile and take a deep breath. “She made a comment about how you were going to make a great father.” His hands that had fallen to my hips, give a quick reassuring squeeze.

“Okay, and did that bother you?” He asks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I mean I guess a little. I don’t know! She’s right, you would make a great father. It just felt like a lot of pressure I guess.” I want to say so much more. Tell him I don’t think I will be the one who makes him a father, but I’m too scared. I’m scared that me not wanting to give him children will be the end of this.

“We are only young. She just loves babies!” He chuckles pulling me tighter to him. “We won’t be having them tomorrow or anything!” His comments do little to ease my mind, but he’s trying. I place a gentle kiss to his lips, and as I pull away a mischievous smile stares back at me.

“What?” I giggle, knowing he’s got something up his sleeve.

“We could always practice the act of baby making.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, and I swat at his chest.

“Elias! Your mother is down the hall, get your head out of the gutter!” We are both laughing now, and Elias’ smile melts my heart. He always knows exactly how to make me feel better, I have no idea where I’d be without him.

“Guess we'll just have to be quiet!” Before I can even respond, Elias is lifting me into the air. My legs instinctively wrap around his waist, a squeal escaping my lips. Elias’ lips meet mine in an attempt to silence me, and before I know it he’s laying me back on his bed. “I love you Kinsey.” He is looking right at me, and the emotion behind his eyes is enough to have tears springing to my own.

“I love you too Elias.”

------

“Isn’t she beautiful?” The look on Elias’ face has my heart fluttering. Wrapped up in his arms is the newest addition to the Horvat family, Ava, a beautiful little girl.

“She’s stunning, just like her Momma.” I smile over at Holly, trying to contain the fear wracking my body. Holly is such a great mom, and watching Elias holding the little girl so gently, has me wishing I was half the woman Holly was.

“You two next?” Bo chirps from his spot on the couch. Although meant in good nature, his words have my blood running cold. I don’t know if I can respond without vomiting, but thankfully Elias speaks so I don’t have to.

“I don’t think so.” He laughs, eyes never leaving the girl whose tiny fingers are now wrapped around his index finger. The sigh that leaves me after his response catches Holly’s attention, but she chooses to not question it.

“Excuse me.” I whisper, feeling a fresh wave of nausea, as I get up in search of the washroom. Talking about having kids, watching Elias being so perfect with Bo’s baby, the whole situation has my stomach churning. The thought of us not working out, because I don’t want to have babies with him is the last thing that crosses my mind before the contents of my stomach are finding their way back up my throat.

After I manage to pick myself up off the tiled bathroom floor, I rinse my mouth, wash my face, and take a good look in the mirror. The bags under my are the darkest they’ve been for months, and I look like shit to say the least.

Running my fingers through my hair quickly I step out of the bathroom, only to be met by a very concerned Holly. “Are you okay?” She asked, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“I’m alright Holly, just haven’t been sleeping well for the last couple weeks.” The excuse falls quickly from my lips, and honestly there is a lot of truth to it. It’s been almost two full weeks of restlessness, and it’s getting old quickly. The nights spent in Elias’ apartment, consist of him asking what was wrong, and honestly I didn’t have an answer. I still don’t.

Holly nods in understanding, and I have no doubt she understands. The woman had just been pregnant for 9 months, and she also has a toddler running around. “I hope Bo’s comment didn’t upset you, he’s just teasing.” She adds, searching my face likely for a sign that she is right about what upset me.

“It’s fine really, it just seems to be coming up a lot lately. It’s not something Elias and I have talked about very seriously yet though.” Sure, maybe that was too much information to unload on a woman I hardly knew, but I already felt a bit of the weight lifting from my shoulders.

“Maybe it’s something you should talk about, especially if it makes you so upset to think about.” The smile she sends me is sympathetic, and I can tell she knows there is more to the story.

Thankfully though, she doesn’t press any further and turns back towards the living room. I follow closely behind her watching my feet as we walk. Holly stops short of the living room however, and I walk into her back. “Wha-“ I start to question her, but as I lift my head she stares back at me with a finger pressed to her lips. The confusion must be evident on my face, because before I can even question the action she is nodding her head towards the two men in the living room.

“She’s a good one Petey.” Bo smiles at Elias who now has the baby cradled against his chest.

“She’s perfect Bo, my Mom loves her.” As I quickly realize that I’ve become the topic of conversation, my cheeks heat in embarrassment.

I feel the urge to run away, interrupt them, or maybe just cover my ears. Anything really, because I wasn’t meant to hear this conversation. With Bo’s next question though, I’m unable to do any of those things. Instead I stand frozen. “And what about you? Do you love her?”

Yes, Elias and I have said those three words to each other many times. However, never in front of his teammates, and a part of me wonders if he just told me what he thought I wanted to hear. “Honestly Bo,” the unsure breath that leaves Elias has my heart racing, “I didn’t know I could love someone this much.”

I hadn’t felt the tear slip down my cheek until it hit the hand that was now covering my mouth. I quickly wipe it away, and attempt to compose myself before anyone sees. Maybe it’s hormones, or maybe it’s just how intensely I feel for Elias, but I’m not normally this emotional.

As Elias lifts his gaze from the small girl on his chest, his eyes find mine. A smile breaks across my face, and the whole world seems to stop. For a moment I see it clearly, this isn’t Bo and Holly’s home anymore, it’s ours. The baby on Elias’ chest isn't a Horvat, it’s a Pettersson. It’s our baby. For a small moment I let myself live in that fantasy, allowing the desire of living that perfect life with Elias to grow.

It’s Holly’s voice that pulls me out of it, “Well I’m sure this little one is getting hungry, and I bet you could use a break as well Petey.” Holly carefully scoops the baby out of Elias’ arms, and he stands from his seat walking towards me. His hand finds my waist as I watch Holly, Bo and the baby interact. The moment feels so personal I feel bad for watching, but I can’t look away. It’s moments like that, two parents totally in love and caring so deeply for their child, that I have always craved. Parents that put their children before all else, and want nothing more than for them to succeed? For me, that’s only ever been a dream. Something only found in movies and books. The reason I will never cut it as a mother.

———-

“Thank you so much for doing this you guys!”

Somehow I had let Elias talk me into babysitting Ava while Bo and Holly went on a date night. Thankfully, their eldest, Gunnar, would be staying with one of his friends tonight, because one baby to look after was enough. Not to mention I’ve been sick to my stomach all day, likely just with the thought of being responsible for a baby. “It’s not a problem! You two deserve a night off, go have fun!”

Holly smiles, handing me a bag of things as she tells me everything I’ll need to know about when Ava will need to sleep and eat. I mentally take note of all the information and usher the couple out the door. Once they’ve left, I make my way to the kitchen to prepare a bottle for Ava.

When it’s ready, I walk into the living room to find Elias shuffling around the room with Ava in his arms. He’s pointing at pictures on the mantle, and speaking gently to her in Swedish. “I hate to interrupt, but I think it’s time for a bottle.” I smirk, shaking the bottle in the air as Elias turns toward me.

With a small smirk, Elias settles himself into the armchair, positioning Ava so he can give her the bottle. I hand it over to him and sit on the arm of the chair beside him, threading my fingers through his blonde hair. He hums in approval as Ava begins drinking the bottle. We stay like that, Ava happily drinking in his arms, Elias holding the bottle smiling fondly down at her, and me playing with Elias’ hair and watching them both.

He’s so happy like this. So happy in fact that I can’t help but wonder if hockey is really what Elias was made for. Sure, he’s wonderful at it, one of the best there is obviously. I’m almost certain now though, Elias was made to be a father. The way he holds this baby like he’d give the world to protect her, and she’s not even his own blood, has tears forming in my eyes.

“Kins?” Elias speaks softly, still not having removed his eyes from Ava who is struggling to stay awake. I hum in response, and he finally lifts his head. “Why don’t you want kids?”

This certainly isn’t how I expected to have this conversation. I have never told him I didn’t want kids. “How do you know I don’t want them?” I ask, my voice definitely giving away how nervous I am.

“Every time someone brings up the idea of us having children you get all in your head.” He sends me a sad smile, and although he isn’t trying to sound disappointed, it’s not hard to tell he is.

“I’m just not ready for kids.” The look Elias sends me definitely says he doesn’t believe me, and he wants me to elaborate, but I don’t. Instead I notice Ava has fallen asleep, and use that as an excuse to change the subject. “I’ll go put her to bed, why don’t you go have your shower now?”

As I carefully lift Ava from his arms, Elias watches me closely. It’s evident he wants to say something, but decides against it.

As Elias heads off to the bathroom, I carry Ava down the hall and place her gently in the bassinet. She hardly stirs, and I take a moment to admire just how beautiful she is. She seems bigger now in the small bassinet, than she did in Elias’ arms. The thought has me crying as I lean against the wall. Elias, the man I’m sure is the love of my life, was made to be a father. I on the other hand, am the furthest thing from being capable of becoming a good mom. Once again, I’m painfully aware of just how unfair this is to Elias. He will have to leave me eventually, and now that he is obviously aware of the fact I don’t want children it’ll likely be sooner rather than later.

“Kinsey, baby, what’s wrong?” His presence startles me, and I quickly wipe the tears from my face.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” I whimper, my voice completely contradicting my statement. His arms are wrapped around me in an instant, and I push my face into his chest crying harder now. My body shakes against his, as he whispers, what I assume to be comforting words in Swedish.

“Y-you’re going to make such a great dad someday.” I’m sure I look a mess now as I lift my head from his chest to look at him. He smiles down at me, though it’s not hard to tell he is fighting off tears of his own.

“And you’ll be an amazing mother.” He’s trying to comfort me, but his statement has the exact opposite effect.

I shake my head, a whole new batch of tears falling down my cheeks. “That’s the thing though- I won’t. I’m not made to be a parent, not like you are.” His soft expression has a wave of nausea rolling over me as I push away from him. “I’m sorry.”

Elias calls after me in a whisper yell, as to not wake the baby, but I’m too busy trying not to get sick to even acknowledge him. As soon as I make it to the bathroom, I collapse to my knees. Once again emptying the contents of my stomach, cursing myself for my weak stomach as more tears fall down my face.

I’ve always been like this, as soon as my anxiety or fears get the better of me I get physically sick. Something my mother would scold me for constantly, saying it was for attention. Maybe there was some truth to that, but as I feel Elias brush my hair back out of my face, I want nothing more than to be all alone. I hate having anyone see me like this, so vulnerable and broken. I’m always worried it will scare them away, but Elias hands me a washcloth and pulls me against his chest as he leans against the tub.

“Do you want to talk about this?” His voice is so calm and his accent is heavy. I want nothing more than to confide in Elias, he is my person, but how can I tell him without breaking his heart?

“I don’t know how to be a mom, certainly not a good one.” I respond once I’m able to even out my breathing again.

“Answer one question for me okay?” He looks down at me, and I can feel the weight of his question before it’s even left those pretty lips of his. “Do you really not want to have children, or do you not want to have kids because you feel like you aren’t good enough? Because if you genuinely do not want to have kids you can tell me, and we can still work, but if you are scared you aren’t good enough we need to work on that.”

“You have good parents that love each other, that love you. I’ve never had the same thing, how am I ever supposed to love a child properly?” My voice shakes, and as I watch the tears pool in Elias’ eyes, I feel awful. That’s a lot to unload on him. Yes, I’ve told him my parents divorced when I was younger, and that I wasn’t close with them now, but that one statement is more than I’ve ever shared.

“Kinsey, you show me every day how much you love me. You show your friends you care about them every chance you get. Hell, you even look after my teammates, and I know for a fact that you would go to the ends of the earth for anyone you care about. You know how to love others better than anyone I know.” Elias sighs, a tear slipping down his cheek, “I’m not saying you have to be a mom, that’s not my choice. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t doubt yourself, and that no matter what you decide I love you.”

“You’re too good to me, you know that?” I smile at him, holding his cheek in the palm of my hand. “I’d kiss you, but I should probably brush my teeth first.”

Elias frowns at my words, eyes filling once again with concern. “You should probably go see a doctor, you haven’t been feeling well lately.”

“It’s just my anxiety Elias, I’m going to be okay.” I assure him, slowly getting to my feet. His hands go to my hips to steady me as I stand.

“If you’re that anxious it’s making you physically ill that’s not fine. I’m taking you to the doctor tomorrow okay?” He asks the question, but it’s evident that the only answer he is accepting is yes, so I just nod and help him to his feet.

As I brush my teeth, Elias’ arms wrap around me and he rests his chin on top of my head. He watches me closely in the mirror, a small smile playing on his lips. When I’m done, I turn in his arms and press up on my toes to kiss him gently. He holds me against him, and the kiss lasts longer than I had intended, but we quickly pull away when Ava starts crying.

“Go lay down, I’ve got her.” Elias says quickly, placing a kiss on my forehead and scurrying down the hall.

Once again, I hear Elias cooing softly to the girl in Swedish. Maybe with Elias’ help I could be a mom. All I know right now is that, if I were to become a parent with anyone it would be him.

———

“Alright Miss Waters just a few questions for you real quick.” The doctor says, after finally entering the room Elias and I have been sitting in for what felt like an eternity. I shift uncomfortably on the bed, and the paper covering it crinkles loudly. “First, are you sexually active?”

My cheeks heat up slightly, and I look over at Elias who has a smirk on his face. “Yes.” I manage to answer, embarrassment rolling off of me.

“Okay, and is there any chance you could be pregnant?” This question has me laughing, and both the doctor and Elias look at me quizzically.

“I’m sorry-“ I manage to say, realizing no one else found the humour in the question. “No I’m not pregnant.”

“You sound pretty sure of that, how are you so certain? Are you on birth control?” The doctor's stare has my heartbeat increasing.

“N-no but I mean we always use condoms.” I manage to sputter out, and Elias reaches over and squeezes my hand.

“Right. Well I’m going to ask you to take a pregnancy test if you don’t mind, just to be 100% sure that’s not what’s causing the nausea. Although condoms are a fantastic contraceptive, they are only approximately 97% effective and that’s assuming they’re stored correctly and not expired.”

“Oh okay. Sure yeah.” I look over at Elias, but his gaze is now on the floor. The doctor places the little cup on the table in front of me, and directs me towards the washroom.

When I’ve finished up, I make my way back into the room, and hand the cup to the doctor. He explains the process quickly and shuffles off to complete the tests leaving Elias and I alone. “You okay?” Elias asks after a moment of silence.

“I’m not pregnant. Right?” I ask, my eyes pleading with him for the answer. He sends a sad smile back and kisses my cheek gently.

“We are going to find out babe, so don’t stress yourself out yet, but just so you know it doesn’t matter what that test says okay? If you aren’t pregnant and you want to be, great we will go home and get on that. If you are pregnant and you don’t want to be, then that’s okay too we can discuss our options. You are going to be okay. We are going to be okay.” He always knows what to say to make me feel better. I pull him into a hug, and he kisses my head. “I love you Kinsey.”

“I love you too Elias.”

After about 10 minutes, the doctor knocks on the door again. “The results of your tests are on this paper here.” He sets the paper on the table next to me. “I’ll give you two a chance to look at the results, and then I’ll be right back to do some blood work alright?” He doesn’t wait for a response, and quickly leaves the room again.

“You should read it first.” Elias says, picking up the paper handing it to me. I struggle taking the paper from him because my hands are shaking so much, but finally I unfold the paper.

A sigh of relief leaves my body as I fall against Elias’ chest, tears flowing down my cheeks. I can feel Elias deflate a little, but he quickly steadies himself wrapping me in his arms. He holds me close to him, and I feel safe in his arms. He’s home. He’s my family, we are a family.

“Can we get an apartment together?” My question has Elias pulling away, confusion evident on his face. We haven’t talked about moving in together yet, and maybe there was a reason for that. All I know is that after today, our relationship will never be the same.

Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in the upcoming parts, or any of my future writings! Thank you for all of your support ❤️

@anastasiyaigorevnadobrodevskaya you automatically get a tag 😉

#FiAB #Elias pettersson #elias pettersson fanfiction #Elias pettersson fanfic #hockey fanfiction #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfic #hockey fan fiction #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl fan fiction #nhl fanfiction #nhl writing #hockey writing #nhl #hockey

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straybreeze · 3 years

Text

GX MONTH 2021

Day 1: “Hero Signal”

We’re kicking things off with everyone’s favorite hero Judai/Jaden Yuki’s birthday! Show the fluffy boi some love!

Yay, this is my very first time participating in a Tumblr event! Thank you @gxmonth for making this, I'm so excited!

I tried my best to include my OC as well, I hope it won't be too cringe lol.

Also, I would like to remark here, that I'm not a native English speaker, so if I made any grammatical errors or other mistakes, please let me know!

Word count: 2475

Pairing: implied spiritshipping

Warnings: slight angst

Happy, happy birthday Judai.

The sun was already high on the endless blue sky, showering the small apartment room in golden light when a big, orange and round thing pushed the door open with its head. The cat made his way through the mess and straight to the bed, where his owner was still sleeping. Confuting his own respectable weight, he jumped easily into the bed and snuggled up to the sleeping boy’s side, purring loudly. The quiet snoring suddenly stopped as the boy slowly opened his deep brown eyes, his hand automatically searching for the cat’s fluffy head.

“Let me sleep, Pharaoh! Just five more minutes!” Judai pleaded and covered his eyes with his free hand.

But it had been proven to be an unacceptable answer to Pharaoh. If he was hungry, nothing was an excuse for being late for breakfast. And in fact, it was almost lunchtime.

“Meow!”

However, Judai still didn’t seem willing to move, so he had to try harder.

“Ouch! Pharaoh, I know you are hungry, but I’m not your food! Don’t eat me!” Judai moaned as he sat up reluctantly. He squinted in the vivid lights, reaching the phone on the nightstand. The screen was showing 11 AM and the date below: 31th August.

31st August. The last day of summer. And his birthday.

Judai almost forgot about his nineteenth birthday. But to be honest, this day is going to be just like any other of the past week. He had nothing to do besides sitting at home and feeding Pharaoh occasionally. There was no real difference from what he did ever since he arrived from his last journey.

In fact, he was stuck in Domino City and had to stay there until he would eventually get a phone call from Chancellor Samejima. In the past one year of his life, an incoming call from his ex-headmaster meant one thing: a new job is on the sight. Not that Judai minded that. He loved travelling around the world and solving intriguing cases with his dueling skills. He didn’t continue his studies in a college, nor joined the Pro Leagues like his other friends. No, he just did the same as in his Academia years: slacking and occasionally saving the day. That is the duty of the heroes after all.

…And at least he could be useful in something as well.

Judai spent the last two weeks in this apartment, which he and Johan were renting together. In the first days, it wasn’t so hard to stay put, but Johan went on a holiday to his family in Sweden more than a week ago. He promised that he will get home before the end of summer, yet he messaged his roommate that he had to stay for a few more days. So in the end, Judai was left alone for his birthday.

Okay, not completely alone. At least Pharaoh was there for him, he thought as he strolled out to the kitchen to find some breakfast for his hungry cat. And for himself.

One year had already passed since they graduated from Duel Academia. A lot of things happened to everyone and it appeared that nobody had the time to greet Judai on his birthday. At least none of his friends told him that they would like to see him today. No missed calls, no unread messages yet.

Have they already forgotten him?

No, that was nonsense. They might be just… busy.

Sho and Manjoume have joined the Pro Leagues right after their graduation, so they were already living their restless life just like his other pro friends, Edo and Kaiser. Well, in his Academia years Judai already got used to that Edo is as much unavailable as the Emperor of Japan himself, but it appeared that Kaiser is that kind of celebrity too. Since he more or less recovered from his heart condition, he started a Cyber Pro League along with Sho and they both attended various events actively in the country and lately overseas too. Of course, Kaiser was told that he must not overstrain himself and stress too much in general, but Judai would bet that he disregarded all of those rules anyway. Especially because he hadn’t talked to him in months, so he must be busy as hell as always.

On the other hand, as far as Judai knew the Tenjoin siblings still lived in North America – Asuka was still studying in Duel College for sure while her brother, Fubuki-san was… doing something too, he assumed? Judai hadn’t heard much of them lately, but he knew that Fubuki-san followed his younger sister to chase his dreams and become an idol abroad. Judai didn’t know much about the school system of America, so Asuka might have classes at this very moment, maybe that’s why she hasn’t called him yet.

For his younger friends, Kenzan graduated from Duel Academia this summer, while Rei is going to start her last year in October. Maybe they are both on a vacation right now, enjoying themselves on a beach or something. It was still summer anyway, Judai couldn’t blame them for that.

And oh, there was Aurora, too. She was the roommate of Edo (and maybe his stepsister as well? Or something more? Who knows. She was a mystery anyway), who befriended him less than a year ago. Judai supposed she doesn’t even know that this day is his birthday.

After he gave some salmon flavored cat food and fresh water to Pharaoh, he decided to grab a bowl of cereal for breakfast and lunch at once.

As much he wanted to act like his birthday was nothing, if it was just like any other day, it made him hurt deep inside that nobody, even his closest friends haven’t paid attention to him on his day. He already got used to that his parents don’t care about him, but he thought he found a new family in his friends.

Maybe he was wrong.

But hey, it was him who abandoned them in the first place, Judai reminded himself. He was the one who left the Academia without saying goodbye and ran away from them straight to another country. He shouldn’t feel sad, because he knew that their friends would be estranged from him sooner or later. And he was the only one to blame.

Judai was so lost deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even realize that the milk was long overflowed the bowl and it was already spilling down the table. Pharaoh didn’t waste a single second: he leapt to the white liquid dripping from the edge of the table and licked it with such joy as if he had never tasted it before in his entire life.

“Dammit!” Judai moaned, then hastily wiped the milk off from the table and the parquet.

Oh well. He hadn’t been awake for ten whole minutes yet, but he already knew, birthday or no birthday, this was not going to be his day.

As the day continued, Judai climbed back to the bed and chose to do nothing today besides watching silly TV shows. He could have gone out at least for a walk, that’s true. He lived in Domino City after all, the city he loved the most. If you are a duelist, this is the best place for you in the entire world, especially if you live in downtown. The coast was not too far, Kaiba Land and other fun places were within easy reach too. But nothing was entertaining enough if you had no friends around.

“I feel like you’ve forgotten something,” Judai heard a familiar voice from all of a sudden. Slowly, the television screen became blurry as he was still staring at it, and a demonic shadow appeared at the end of his bed.

“Yubel,” he spoke their name aloud as he closed his eyes. “What did I forget?”

“Me,” came the obvious answer. “Why do you feel so lonely?”

“I’m not lonely. I’m just…” Judai began but then realized that the sentence had no continuation. “No, Yubel, everything’s good.”

“You sure?”

“Uh, yeah! I’m glad you’re here. It is enough for me.”

“You are a bad liar, Judai. You know that?”

“Hey, I mean it! I’m glad you are here, Yubel.”

“… I know.” Yubel smiled, gentler than it was imaginable from them. As they took a short break, their heterochromatic eyes curiously scanned the boy who was bound to them for an eternity. “But I still don’t understand, what is the matter with you?”

Judai didn’t answer their question. At least with words. He thought it was enough for an answer that he checked his phone every five minutes if someone messaged him already. But sadly, nobody had searched him so far.

It was already late afternoon when he finally heard the standard ringtone of his phone. He almost fell asleep again, and the vibrating sound made his heart pound in excitement. He immediately grabbed his phone, but when he checked the screen, he had mixed feelings.

The caller was Aurora, Edo’s roommate. And the last one who Judai thought would call him on his birthday.

“Hello, Rory! What up?” he greeted her, a soft smile unintentionally crossed his lips. But it had soon vanished when Aurora didn’t answer immediately. “Rory? Is something wrong?”

“Judai,” she spoke finally. Her usual melodic voice was trembling somewhat as if she was nervous. “I’m glad I could reach you!”

“Yeah, I mean, you could have totally called me all day! I had nothing to do, you know.” Maybe he shouldn’t have hinted things like these, but still.

“I see. Sorry, Judai, but may I ask you something?” Aurora’s voice still didn’t sound too firm.

“Sure, anytime!” Judai’s eyes sparkled at thought of the adventure. “But you’re fine, aren’t you?”

“Y-Yeah. I just… need to talk with someone. With you.”

“Really? Well, I’d gladly chat with you, but if you wanna talk about some… girlish thing, you know I’m not your man.”

“You will be completely fine. I wanna talk about something else, not girlish things.”

“Something happened with Edo maybe?” Judai guessed.

“Not at all! Ahw Judai, stop asking questions! I will tell you everything if I see you in person. So get ready and come!”

“Come where?”

“I’ll be waiting for you at the entrance of Kaiba Land in fifteen minutes.”

“Why there? You’re not even a duelist—„

“See you later, Judai!”

Before Judai could remark that he may not be there in fifteen minutes, Aurora had already hung up the phone. Surely, she became weirder and weirder. Maybe it was Edo who was a bad influence on her.

When Judai arrived at the said place, he was nearly jumping out of his skin. He was curious about what Aurora wanted to talk to him about, and at the same time, he was glad that he finally had a reason to leave the apartment.

Though it was still a bit unexpected that he would spend his birthday with Aurora, but why not? They were friends after all. He should have thought about her sooner.

“Judai!” Aurora shouted and waved him from the distance.

As he came closer, Aurora silently turned around and headed into the Park. It was almost sunset, the monstrous structures of Kaiba Land were glowing in orange.

“Okay, would you tell me now what are we doing here?” Judai asked while he barely could keep up with her.

“You will see, I promise!”

“Come on, Rory!”

“No worries, we are almost there!”

And that was all she told him, no matter how hard he tried to get more information. But the sparkle of hope ignited in his heart, that something bigger was standing behind this weird invitation.

Kaiba Land was slowly emptied out as the closing hour was coming, so they didn’t meet too many people. Especially as they got deeper and deeper into the amusement park.

They were nearby the rollercoaster when they finally stopped.

“Judai,” Aurora turned to him. “I know that this whole thing came from all of a sudden, and I’m so happy that you followed me without a question anyway.”

“Well, actually—”

“I hope you know that it means a lot to me. Not just me. To all of us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Judai, you have amazing friends. And you are the best among the best for all of them.”

“Rory, I’m not sure I understa—„

“SURPRISE!!”

Shouts were coming from everywhere, and suddenly a shadow of a whole crowd appeared in the dim lights of the setting sun. Before Judai could have the time to react, a short figure stood out from them and started running towards him.

“Happy birthday, Aniki!” Sho shrieked as he bumped into Judai and embraced him closely. Shortly after, he found himself surrounded by people. Surrounded by his friends.

“Happy birthday, Judai!”

“Judai-sama! I wish the bestest birthday in the world to you!”

“Nice to see you, loser! Where the hell have you been for this long?”

“Yeah, Judai, we were all waiting for you!”

“Happy birthday, Aniki-don!”

“Damn, I missed you so much!”

Everyone was there. Asuka and Rei. Manjoume, Fubuki-san and Kenzan. Sho was still holding onto him, almost crying.

“Hehe, surprise! I came back from Sweden today just because of your big day!”

Even Johan was there. He came home finally! Judai couldn’t help, but sudden warmth flowed through his body as Johan hugged him along with everyone else. Even Manjoume was in the crew.

“Hey guys, you flatter me…”

“See, Edo? We almost missed the group hug because of you.” Another familiar voice came from the distance, and when Judai glanced up, he saw Kaiser Ryo and Edo Phoenix’s silhouettes were approaching them.

“Don’t blame me because Kaiba Seto himself wanted to talk with me. But I assume you can still join the group hug if you’re really that desperate.”

When the pros reached the crew, they greeted Judai in unison.

“Happy birthday, Judai!”

“You two…”

“In fact, these two were the masterminds for this plan,” Aurora joined the celebration too. “Happiest birthday for you!”

With suppressed tears in his eyes, Judai looked around his friends. Yeah, Aurora had right. He had the best friends in the world and now he felt terrible guilt that he had ever questioned them. Yubel were right after all, for not understanding what was his problem. Now he didn’t understand too.

“Okay, who wants some cake?”

“WAIT, we have cake?” Judai asked in shock. How the hell did they bring it to here?

“Of course! I mean you have it, Judai,” Asuka corrected him.

Before Judai could shout in happiness, his phone started ringing again. To his surprise, Chancellor Samejima called him.

“Happy birthday, Judai! Are you ready for your next adventure?”

Judai couldn’t help but smile again.

“Ready as I’ll ever be!”

#gxmonth2021 #yugioh gx #ygo gx #yuki judai #jaden yuki #fanfiction tag

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official-weasley · 3 years

Text

The Extraordinary Dragon (Part 5/6)

A fluffy story about Charlie training a dragon with a sad and mysterious past.

Warnings: Finding out what happened to the dragon Word Count: 3,682

“This is your last chance to say no.” Matthew was leaning in the doorway of my hut, watching me double-check my bag to see if I have everything I need for my journey to visit the MacFusty clan.

“And I will tell you like every day for the past 3 days that I am not changing my mind. I need to do this, Matt. I can’t sleep at night because I don’t know why Asterin is acting as she is. She couldn’t just be abandoned. The markings on her wings and head are proof of that and after being here for over 2 months she is still absolutely terrified.” I sighed. “And because you won’t allow me to see her since she hurt me, she has been completely alone – just eating and sleeping.”

I wanted to look at him and frown but I knew he was right and only wanted to keep me alive. If it was up to me I would go back to her habitat and work with her the second I could walk properly again. Matthew nearly had to glue me to the bed and make me promise 5 times that I won’t sneak out to go and see her.

Even though my back was still sore and I wasn’t completely healed, I convinced my boss to let me go and see the MacFusty’s. This injury has been by far the worse one I endured since I started working here 10 years ago but I don’t blame her for it.

Did I almost die? Yes. Do I think she did it intentionally? No.

During the two months I spent in the hospital I have been coming up with a plan for what will I say to the family when I get there. Matthew wrote to them on my behalf and they were more than happy to welcome me and give me accommodation for the time being.

“I just need a favor from you before I go.” I zipped my bag and looked up at him.

“Why do I have a feeling I will want to say no to what you’re going to ask of me but you won’t let me?” Matt raised his eyebrows.

“I want to see Asterin,” I said determinedly.

“No way. Charles, you do remember the reason why you were laying in the infirmary for the past two months, right?” Matthew furrowed his brows.

“You do remember why I am going to Scotland in the first place, right?” I playfully rolled my eyes at him.

“You and your Sagittarius adventurous spirit will be the end of you one day, Charles.” Matthew sighed but didn’t say anything else.

“Does that mean I can see her?” I almost jumped on the spot.

“You would sneak out and go and see her even if I told you not to so why did you even ask?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” I smirked and walked past him with my bag.

“Your portkey leaves in an hour though!” He shouted after me but I only waved and hurried to the dragon.

I put my bag down next to the edge of her habitat and carefully moved forward. Even though I knew that Asterin had a reason to attack me I was still a bit nervous to see her. I didn’t know how she’ll react when she catches the sight of me and I was hoping she wouldn’t want to repeat what she did 2 months ago.

“Asterin, where are you, girl?” I swallowed thickly, trying to steady my shaking voice.

The second she heard me I could feel the ground shaking with her stomps.

“Here you are! I am sorry I didn’t visit you for such a long time.”

Asterin replied with a roar straight to my face but she kept her distance.

“I know you haven’t seen me in two months. You probably didn’t miss me as much as I missed you but I hope you did – at least a little bit. I am just here to tell you something, mind if I sit down?” I asked with my head bowed, my heart drumming in my chest.

Asterin didn’t do anything. She sat as she usually does with her claws dug into the earth.

“I am going to Scotland to visit the MacFusty family. Do you remember them? They were the ones that brought you here.”

She sat still and only gave out a loud-sounding growl.

“I know that if you could speak things would be so much easier. I know that something had to happen to you, something bad, that you are so reserved and so untrusting. And I am going there to find out what it is. I am not giving up on you, alright. I promise you that, Asterin.” I looked up at her. She tilted her head to the side, looking like she was trying to figure out what I was saying.

“And when I come back, we are going to start from scratch. I hope you know I don’t blame you for what happened. I know it was your past doing the action and not you. You can trust me, Asterin.” I gave out a soft smile and stood back up.

“I will be back before you know it and then get ready to be around me all the time.” I chuckled to myself. “You’ll see how annoying I can be.”

I grabbed my bag and hurried to where the portkey was waiting for me, leaving Asterin behind howling as if she was calling for me to come back.

—

“Hi, I’m Marcus.” A tall man greeted me when I arrived in Scotland.

“Hi, I’m Charlie.” I dusted my trousers before giving him my hand to shake.

“Oh, we know who you are, Charles Weasley. We have made the right decision assigning Asterin to you. I have heard you are doing a great job.” Marcus grinned at me.

“Where did you hear that?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “I have been in the infirmary for the past 2 months because I wasn’t careful around her and I didn’t make any progress.”

“Well, Matthew told me that you have been spending every day with Asterin before she ambushed you and she didn’t snap at you or want to eat you alive so I call that progress.” He giggled.

“You call that… What exactly did she do when she was with you?”

“The attack you suffered happened here a few times. That was the reason we wanted to transfer her. We figured that perhaps being so close to where she was found didn’t suit her.” Marcus replied.

“She attacked more than one person?” My eyes widened in surprise.

“8 to be exact.” He nodded.

I didn’t know what to say, staring at him with my mouth open. I know I shouldn’t feel relief after finding out that 8 people got hurt but I couldn’t help but feel good that Asterin didn’t only do this to me. It means that I didn’t do anything wrong or scare her, she simply doesn’t trust anyone.

“I have so many questions.” I shook my head as we got to the reserve.

“And I wish I could give you all the answers, Charlie.” Marcus’ shoulders sank. “But unfortunately we told everything we know to Matthew before bringing her to you.”

“Will you at least take me to where you found her?”

“Of course! I am not going to lie we were surprised when we got the letter announcing your arrival but we were happy you decided to come here instead and not give up on her just yet.” He smiled softly at me. “I will never give up on Asterin,” I said more to myself than to him but the shining look in his eyes told me he heard me and he liked what I said.

“How are you feeling after the journey? Do you want me to show you to your room so you can get some rest or maybe offer you something to drink or eat?”

“Thank you, Marcus, you are very kind but if you don’t mind I would like to go to the forest straight away. I don’t want to lose any time.”

“Now I know why Mary was so eager to pick you after she talked to the Swedish Sanctuary.” He laughed.

“What do you mean?” I tilted my head in confusion.

“Mary and John decided to transfer her to Sweden and when Mary got their answer, them recommending you, she replied to them at once wanting to know all about you.” He started to explain. “She was very impressed with the work you’ve done in one year in Sweden – especially when she found out how young you are.” He winked at me.

“You people flatter me too much. It’s just work.” I bowed my head, trying to hide the fact that all these compliments made my blood rush to my cheeks.

“Perhaps, it’s you that has to give yourself more credit, Charlie.” He gestured with his hand for me to step inside the 3 stories high wooden house.

“Mary, there’s someone that I think you’d like to meet,” Marcus shouted.

“Oh, dear Merlin! Is he here?” A woman that reminded me of an older version of his sister-in-law Fleur, came down the stairs with sparks in her eyes.

“Hi, I’m Charlie.” I waved awkwardly, not knowing what to do as she stared at me for solid 5 seconds.

“Oh, pardon me! I didn’t mean to stare, dear. I just wanted to meet you for months now!” She jumped in the air a bit before shaking my hand. “Thank you so much for putting so much effort and trying to find out what is wrong with Asterin. She is such a sweetheart despite, well, causing some incidents.”

“Well, the good news is, in Romania, she only hurt me.” I smiled reassuringly.

“We’ve heard.” She frowned. “I am so sorry. I am happy to see you back in good health and I admire you for still wanting to help her.”

“Could someone take me to where you found her?” I cleared my throat. I didn’t come all this way to be showered with so many compliments.

“Of course! I’m busy making supper but I will ask John if he can take you. I’ll be back in a second.” She bestowed me with a wide smile and hurried back upstairs.

Not a minute later, she came down with a young man, whispering something to him.

“Charlie! So nice to finally meet you! Are you ready to head out?” He offered me his hand without introducing himself. The second I shook it, he walked toward the door and gestured for me to follow him.

“I hope they didn’t bombard you with questions.” He sniggered when we got a few meters away from the house.

“No, it was okay.” I let out a silent laugh.

“I’m John, by the way. I apologize for not introducing myself earlier. I just saw the look on your face and had a feeling you needed to be rescued from that situation.”

“Nice to meet you, John. As I said, it was fine. I just prefer dragons over people, I guess. I am less awkward with them.” I shrugged.

“Oh, I understand. If Mary would let me, I would be outside with them all the time.” We stopped at the edge of the forest.

“I truly hope you find something in there. We were very thorough with our investigation but whoever left her in there was careful not to leave any tracks behind.” John looked angry.

We were walking for about 10 minutes when the thick forest started to open up. Some of the trees in front of us were broken and the ground looked scorched.

“This is it,” John whispered as we stopped walking and turned to me. “Take as much time as you need. I’ll be right here.”

“It’s okay. I remember how we got here so if you have anything else to do, you can go. I’ll come back alone.” I smiled. “Alright. Then I will go and play with Hephaestus. He hatched 3 weeks ago and he is adorable! When you come back I can introduce you if you’d like.” He grinned at me.

“I would love that.” I waved at him and he disappeared between the trees.

I took a deep breath and turned around. I couldn’t shake the nervous feeling in my chest. What if I can’t find anything? What if I return empty-handed and I won’t know how to tame her or help her not feel so afraid? What if I fail? I would have to break my promise to her.

“No,” I whispered to myself and inhaled and exhaled deeply. “This has to work.”

I walked closer to the scorched area and lit my wand to see better. I was determined not to leave until I find something that could help me.

The darker it got the more I lost all hope that perhaps the MacFusty family did miss something. I was ready to leave, after about 3 hours of walking around and checking every tree and twig on the ground for evidence when I looked at the big boulder on my left for what seemed like the 15th time.

It looked out of place but I couldn’t wrap my head around why that was. There is nothing unusual about a big rock in the middle of a forest but not placed like that – not leaned against a tree. I made my way to it and looked at the ground around it. It looked as if it fell to the spot and wasn’t moved again.

I decided to head back and ask John and the others about it. If they moved the rock then I will go to the forest again tomorrow and search for more clues, if not then I might just have an idea about what happened!

“Charlie, you’re back. We got worried and were ready to go and find you.” Mary said the second I came through the door.

“I apologize. I didn’t want to scare anyone. I just wanted to stay for as long as I had light.”

“Which was 2 hours ago.” Marcus sniggered.

“Did you find anything?” John wanted to know.

“Well, I wanted to ask you about the rock, leaned on a tree. Was that always there or did you move it when you were doing your search?”

“A rock?” Marcus and Mary said in unison.

“Yes, about the size of a person,” I explained. The three of them looked at each other.

“We definitely didn’t move no rocks as big as a human being,” Marcus said slowly and the other two nodded.

“It looked like it fell and was just left there.”

“Where did you find it?” John asked.

“At the scorched area. I didn’t move away from it much, I thought I would do that tomorrow.”

“Can you show me?” John got up and walked to the door, ready to put on his jacket.

“You want to go now?” Marcus seemed puzzled. “Yes, uncle. Charlie might’ve found something we’ve missed!” John turned to me, nodded and we were on our way.

“Okay, show me, Charlie,” John said a bit out of breath when we got back to the area where Asterin was found. He was so excited for me to have found something they might’ve missed that we half-ran to the forest.

“This one. Do you see the ground around it? It’s not like other rocks, where it’s evident that they have been in place for a very long time.” I pointed at the boulder and moved closer to it.

“Blimey,” John said under his breath. “I can’t believe we’ve missed this. I reckon we didn’t even see it. We probably thought it was like all the rest. But you are right, Charlie. It looks like it fell and from a great height at that!”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed, not containing my excitement at all.

“So what’s your theory, Charlie?”

“I would need to write to my team to somehow do a health check-up for Asterin, before making any speculations. But my best guess would be that the rock fell off her.”

“You mean someone hit her with this bloody thing!” John gasped.

I nodded and asked if we could go back so that I could send a letter to Matthew as soon as possible.

“John, did Charlie find something?” Mary asked when we entered the house.

“Yes, I think so. He needs to write a letter to Romania. Can you bring him some paper and prepare Puff?”

“Yes, yes! Of course!” Mary hurried to the other room while John accompanied me to the kitchen.

“Charlie, if you make the connection, this might be the answer to everything!” He started biting his nails the second we sat down.

“I know.”

“Mary said to give you this!” Marcus rushed in with a quill and several pieces of parchment.

“Thank you.”

I dipped the quill into the ink and started writing as fast as my hand allowed me.

Matthew,

we have discovered a boulder in the area where Asterin was found. It looked like it fell from a great height. I speculate that Asterin was hit by it. If it was her back it would be broken, as would be her tail. The only part of her body that could endure such an injury without a broken bone is her head.

I know we said to wait longer with the check-up because we have no idea how to do it, but you have to try and put her to sleep so that the healers can take a look at her head. See if there is any chance that her behavior has to do with the damage a rock a size of a person could cause.

Send back the owl as soon as you can and good luck,

Charles

I put the letter in the envelope Mary brought along with the owl and send Puff on her way at once.

During supper, I explained my theory of what I think happened. I believe that Asterin escaped wherever she was imprisoned. Hebridean Blacks have a good sense of where to find a dragon of their breed. Her capturer followed her and when they saw how close to the reserve she has gotten they panicked and the only way they thought they could stop her was by hitting her with a big rock on the head.

They all looked at me in astonishment as if they couldn’t believe such a thing could happen.

“If I ever find the person who has done this to Asterin, I am murdering them with my own hands!” Marcus slammed his fists against the table.

“I…I can’t believe it. I don’t want to. Poor Asterin.” Mary had her hand over her mouth, her eyes glistening with tears.

“In a way, I hope Charlie is right.” Finally said John.

“John!” Mary scolded him.

“Well, if he’s right, it means that we will know what happened to her and perhaps Charlie can take a proper approach. It means we can help her, aunt Mary.” John explained himself.

“John is right, Mary. It’s not pretty but at least she might start trusting people.” Marcus looked at me.

I went to my room the second we were done with dinner. I wanted to go to sleep as soon as possible, hoping that in the morning I will receive an answer.

I was disappointed however when the owl didn’t return the next day or the two days after that.

On the fourth day of my visit, Hephaestus and I were best mates. It was wonderful to meet so many Hebridean Blacks and observe their personality. We only have one in the Sanctuary besides Asterin and he is quite old so I never had a chance to see one so lively and playful.

I liked working with John. He reminded me of myself in so many ways – especially how he likes to talk to dragons as if they were humans. I wish we could have more people like him in the Sanctuary so that I wouldn’t feel as if I am the most obsessed dragonologist in the world – then it would be two of us!

“Alright, Hephy, now roll over and then breathe fire away from us.” John gave the order to a 3-week-old Hebridean Black.

Hephaestus did as he was told and for his performance, he received a bucket of chicken blood and brandy.

“Go on, Charlie. Tell him to do a trick, he trusts you enough now.” John gave me a thumbs up and right when I stood up to walk closer to where the dragon was, I was distracted by Puff who was flying toward us.

“Thank you, Puff.” I breathed and gently took the envelope from her even though I wanted to burst from excitement. I tore it open and started reading.

Charles,

I apologize for taking so long to return the owl with our answer. You can imagine that it wasn’t easy putting Asterin to sleep. One of our potion masters made a large batch of Sleeping Draught. It was the only way to bring her down.

Three healers examined her. You were right, Charles. She had to hit her head with something. The damage on it can be hardly seen as if one side of the rock was flat but when we gathered researchers to examine her behavior when she woke up we realized that she suffered permanent damage to her brain.

There is no internal bleeding and her skull is fine but the impact with that boulder…

I don’t know how to better explain it, Charles – she thinks she’s still a dragonling. Even though she developed and she’s growing, in her mind, Asterin will always feel as if she is the age she was on the day they found her.

The healers can explain better as you return. I hope you can do something with the information, Charles. I know you are the only one who can.

See you soon,

Matthew

#charlie weasley #charlie weasley harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #the weasleys #dragon boy #charles weasley #hebridean black #dragons #a dragon story #charie weasley hphm #dragonologist

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sunsetcurvecuddles · 3 years

Note

51. "You're cold, take my jacket."

And 75. "You're overworking yourself... Please take a break."

For 2020 rayvor

stay as long as you need | ray&trevor or ray/trevor | 2k | g

ao3 link in reblogs!

Ray hasn’t been to this house in such a long time. So long that he thinks, maybe, Rose was with him, the last time, that she’d held his hand as they’d made their way up this strange driveway. It has an eerie quality to it, deeply familiar yet changed, like something he saw in a dream a long time ago rather than somewhere he used to spend a huge amount of his time with the people most important to him.

The barbed wire’s new.

It’s made more surreal by how exhausted Ray is from the last few weeks, and by the phone conversation that preceded his visit, and the amount of time Ray has spent lying awake at night trying to make this decision. Trying to do what’s best for everyone. Trying to figure out where he fits in that.

Anyway. He makes it in through the scary new security gate, because Trevor (or possibly Trevor’s assistant) had the forethought to text him the entry code, and he finds himself at the unnecessarily imposing front door, his confidence somewhat faltering.

It’s not going to do you any good to put things off, a voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Rose reminds him. The thought of her, the expression she’d have on her face as she scolded him, makes him smile, gives him the encouragement he needs to go up to the door and press the foreboding doorbell. He’s almost expecting to be greeted by one of Trevor’s string of housekeepers, assistants, secretaries and associates who constantly cycle through the house, but when the door opens, he’s surprised to be face-to-face with Trevor himself.

It’s astonishingly painful, the kind of emotion that’s so powerful it’s impossible to distinguish between happiness or sadness, like those categories have become irrelevant in the face of its intensity. Trevor looks older, which isn’t a surprise, because it’s not like Ray hasn’t seen photos of him in that time (Ray’s kept up with the tabloids, not that he’s proud to admit it), but regardless, it’s still different seeing him in person. Trevor looks like he hasn’t been sleeping, and not just a usual Trevor level of running on too little sleep and too little food and too little time to breathe, but like he really hasn’t been sleeping, something drawn around the edges of his jaw, huge bags under his eyes. Ray swallows against the lump that forms in his throat.

“Uh. Hey,” Trevor says, intensely stiff and awkward in a way that makes him almost sound like Bobby, for a moment. “You… you okay? Look rough.”

Surprised, Ray responds, “I -- yeah, as well as I can be. You?”

“Fine,” Trevor says gruffly. Then he recovers, somewhat, smoothes it over with his nonchalant celebrity tone when he continues, “D’you mind if we go for a walk? Carrie’s home, I don’t want to stress her out.”

Ray assumes this means Carrie didn’t know he was coming, which hurts a little just because he misses her so much. If it was just that Trevor wanted to talk away from her, the house is large enough that they could go to the other side and yell at the top of their lungs and she still wouldn’t hear them.

(Ray really hopes no one will be yelling at all, regardless of where they’re located, actually).

“Sure,” he says, shrugs his shoulders. Doesn’t know how to deal with this kind of informality when he still feels like he’s gently crumbling on the inside, like everything in him is screaming at him to give Trevor a hug when he knows that’s not appropriate, or in-line with a gradual and sustainable reconciliation, and everything else he’s talked to Dr. Turner about.

Trevor slips out and closes the door behind him and gestures for Ray to follow him, which Ray does, because apparently that’s still what he does. Trevor falls into step next to Ray as he leads him down into the strange, feng-shui garden they’ve got going on at the back of the house. In his rockstar-style heeled boots, Trevor is just a little taller than Ray, their shoulders level as they almost brush. Ray can’t remember being so aware of the space between him and another person in years and years.

The path winds downhill, then curves to the right, around some heavy willow trees that obscure Ray’s vision until it opens up into a glade. There’s a carefully placed wrought-iron bench on one side, looking down over the hill and shaded by the willows flowing down around it on all sides. A few feet over there’s a statue of what looks like a Greek deity, not that it’s Ray’s area of expertise.

Trevor sits on the bench and clasps his hands in the space between his knees. He leaves space for Ray to sit beside him, so Ray does. He bites back the temptation to ask why in the world Trevor has a Greek statue in the middle of what seems to be, otherwise, a very East-Asian style garden. To be honest, he thinks maybe his instinct to make a dig about it comes from the fact that he doesn’t really know what else to say.

It had been so difficult to understand what Trevor was even talking about, over the phone, words all tied up and Ray’s ears ringing with the emotion and surprise of the fact that the conversation was happening at all. Something about the past coming back to haunt them.

“So,” says Trevor. Maybe it’s disconcerting for other people to see him fumble like this, Ray thinks, since he’s usually so charming, so put-together. Ray just finds it familiar, almost soothing, the reminder that Bobby’s still in there somewhere, under everything. “Uh. I know you already told me, but… can we start from the beginning?”

So that’s what they do. Ray does his best to retrace, one step at a time, the events of the day after the Orpheum, Julie approaching him in the kitchen, Papi, there’s something I have to tell you... The way she’d lead him out to the garage when he didn’t believe her, and there they were -- her three bandmates, not from Sweden at all, but from 1995. It was surreal, after so long hearing stories from Trevor and then Julie, to see those boys in the flesh - what at least looked like the flesh. Later, Julie confirmed this, based on Flynn pricking Luke’s finger with a safety pin, and him yelping at the way it actually touched him, the way a real droplet of blood formed in that spot.

(Trevor’s eyes go faraway, unreadable, at every mention of Luke.)

Ray leaves space for Trevor to ask questions, but he doesn’t. He sits and listens, encourages Ray on with something like and then what or is that it? when the silence stretches out too long, but besides that doesn’t have much to say at all.

By the end of the story the sun is starting to set, and the garden around them is growing cool. With the adrenaline fading, the surreal feeling of the situation settling in, Ray realises that he’s tired, too, that this feels like the longest period of time he’s spent sitting down in one place for at least a few weeks. There’s been an overwhelming amount of change and a lot of extra work, for all these new people who need him for different reasons. Really, he hasn’t had much time to process or adjust.

Beside him, Trevor starts to shiver a little. He’s trying to hide it, but again, it’s just him and Ray, so he’s doing a poor job. Ray goes to slide his coat off, pausing to muffle a yawn into his elbow. If it was like old times, he would have just held the side of his jacket open, curled Trevor into it and put an arm around his shoulders. But Trevor’s broader than he was then, seems to be eating better even if he’s not looking after himself in other ways.

Plus all the other reasons. There are so many reasons it’s not like old times.

“What are you -- Ray, stop,” Trevor says, bordering on petulant, god, he sounds so much like himself, like Bobby, “don’t.”

“You’re cold. Take my jacket,” Ray says, raising his eyebrows. It’s an invitation for Trevor to try and lie to him if he really wants, because Ray knows he’s right. Trevor looks down at his feet, kicks a pebble. It’s such a Bobby gesture. Ray will never fully be able to separate the two, no matter how much time he’s given.

He holds out the jacket, insistent. Trevor hesitates, but only for a moment, before he takes it from Ray, slides it on over his probably-disgustingly-expensive plain white t-shirt. “There,” Trevor grumbles, “you happy?”

“Yes,” says Ray, and it comes out too genuine, too heartfelt.

Trevor looks at him again, crease in his brow. Tilts his head, narrows his eyes. “So they’ve just been… living with you, since then?”

Ray blinks, taken aback. “That’s right,” he replies, smothering another yawn into the back of his hand. To play it off, he jokes, “We did always want a big family.”

“You’re overworking yourself,” Trevor mutters. “I can tell how tired you are, and I know having the boys -- the ghosts,” he corrects himself, “having the ghosts around must mean you have a lot going on.” Trevor runs both hands through his hair, pushes it back off his face, and carries on. “I know how good you are at making other people feel like everything’s taken care of, but… you’ll burn out if you’re not careful.”

Suddenly, Ray feels too warm in the face, like there are too many eyes on him even though it’s just him and Trevor in the garden. “I just told you that all of your bandmates came back as ghosts, joined a band with my daughter, and somehow now they’re alive again,” he laughs, “and you’re worried about me?”

Trevor doesn’t laugh. Just swallows, meets Ray’s eyes, and says, “Yeah. I am. Because I know you. And I know how you are, that you won’t let anyone else help unless they make you.”

It’s been such a huge few weeks. And now Ray knows, more than anything, that he should be taking care of Trevor, and here’s Trevor, probably still in shock, trying to take care of him instead. “And who are you suggesting I ask for help?” he says at last. “You?”

“I would do it in a heartbeat,” Trevor assures him. “Anything. For you and the kids and -- and the boys. Whatever you needed. But you can’t keep going on your own til you crash and burn.”

Ray can’t remember the last time he had someone call him out like that, so directly, so shamelessly to his face.

Oh. Yes, he can. His gut twists with missing her so much it hurts.

Trevor smiles, a twisted, grimacing, affectionate thing, and says, “Sorry. It’s what she would’ve wanted me to say.”

“She would have,” Ray agrees. He sits back against the bench. Feels his arm press to Trevor’s. “She always said I needed to be more selfish.”

“She was right.” Trevor nudges him, elbow to elbow. His eyes are bitter and tired and kind. He’s going to break down later, Ray reminds himself, he’ll need me, I know he will. And he’s ready for that, feels bad that they’re not focusing on Trevor right now, but the shock could mean it’s taking time for the news to really sink in. And all Trevor’s expression is giving him is understanding and patience and concern.

Maybe Ray can afford to be selfish, just for a moment. Maybe it would help Trevor, if he was. Before he can think it through too much, he shuffles to lean his head on Trevor’s shoulder, against the fabric of his own jacket. He feels Trevor tense, and he almost thinks he’s made a mistake, but then Trevor takes a deep, shaky breath, and his arm comes up around Ray’s waist, to pull him in closer, to hold him tight. His fingertips dig into Ray’s side, almost too tight, but settling in just right.

“Yeah,” Trevor says, hushed. He turns his head and Ray feels Trevor rest his face in Ray’s hair. He might press a kiss there, but maybe Ray’s tired mind is just imagining things. “Just like that. Just… please, take a break.”

“Okay,” Ray whispers. Doesn’t dare speak any louder than that, for fear of breaking the spell.

Trevor sighs out a long breath like he’s been holding it in for years. Like he’s been holding it in since he was Bobby, surrounded by his boys alive and well, or since he was Bobby, curled on Ray and Rose’s couch, tucked under Rose’s favourite crochet blanket. The trees around them rustle in the cold evening breeze. Ray closes his eyes.

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #fanfic #ray molina #trevor wilson

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fallenhero-rebirth · 4 years

Text

Brain update

First, let me say that this isn't about what anybody has done. My reactions are not in proportion to anything that has happened, and might be considered odd, weird and sensitive to people involved.

So let me explain.

I'm an Aspie (what we call ourselves in Sweden), on the autism spectrum. Yeah, might have guessed that from the story I'm writing, Sidestep is not the only one trying to figure out how people work.

Over the years I have built up an arsenal of knowledge and analysis to be able to pretend to be neurotypical, something that I can manage alright most days, but which breaks down once you get to know me better. I'm open with this at my current job, and luckily both my bosses seem to be okay dealing with open communication and just telling me what I need to do.

It was not always like this, and that is one of the reasons why I had a breakdown and needed to get off discord/tumblr.

Back in the late nineties, I had finally got my dream job. I was a product developer in the food industry, part of a rather small department of middle-class academics. I was the new hire, everyone else had worked there for years, and things were going well. Or so I assumed. I got cool projects, got along well with one of the sales people, and well, my boss was weird but bosses always are.

Three years later. Our parent company wanted to sell us off, everyone was starting to get worried about their job. We tried to expand into things were weren't equipped to do (you don't bring spices into a fruit jam line, will be hell to clean) and while I did the projects, I also raised an (in retrospect) too big stink about the fact that we were wasting time developing things we couldn't produce without expanding. My boss (who I had learned was a devout christian) started to get really weird, I got called in and he wondered if I was a member of a cult (I was often wearing a headscarf at the time because pressure on my head is good for stress relief). I also got told off for wearing army boots to work (we had lab shoes in the lab), because (I kid you not) if we had danish visitors to the lab (we didn't have visitors) they could be offended since they had once been occupied by Nazis. Yes, at the time I was an Antifa metalhead/satanist, it was a very volatile time in sweden and nazis were everywhere. Now they're a political party, go figure.

It all came to a head when I was confronted with a folder one of the secretaries of the department had where she had written down every odd and strange thing that I did, and there were a lot of accusations of things I quite frankly blocked out. Around this time I was suffering from bad burnout, had memory loss, my hair was falling out and I lost two bikes because I forgot where I parked them. All because of workplace hostility.

So for the first time ever, I went to the company doctor, who immediately sent me on a one month sick leave, and gave a reference to a therapist. When I went and told my boss, his reaction was "It can't be anything at work," in a dismissive tone. I wrote my resignation right then and there, left the building, snuck back a Saturday to clean out my stuff so I didn't have to meet anyone. Luckily I was backed up by my union, so I got unemployment despite quitting, and the therapist helped me get back on my feet and hook me up with some antidepressants.

Still, I was a wreck for years.

At the time, I had NO idea I was an Aspie. It weren't talked about, the only thing I knew about Autism, was from the various portrayals in movies, and well, in the nineties you can guess. Rainman pretty much was it.

What destroyed me the most was not that people disliked me, I didn't like them either, we didn't have anything in common, and middle-class people always scared me. No, what broke me was the fact that my system failed.

See, I had built up myself over ten years into someone I wanted to be. Smart. Capable. Metalhead. Researcher. Activist. I thought I knew the rules. How to interact.

It turned out I knew nothing. People had been talking behind my back for years, and I didn't know. Getting annoyed by my ticks, and I had no idea. Nobody ever brought anything up to my face until it exploded one day out of the blue. This is why I have ranted about anons on this tumblr. This is why I have been so openly against passive aggressive posts and bullying, especially the anonymous kind, because it destroys people and I don't think the people who does it knows the impact they can have. I hope they don't.

I have never gone back to the lab. I can't. I'm having heart palpitations just thinking about it when I'm writing this. I retrained. Became a machinist. Back to the working class I came from. Eventually started writing.

And this is exactly what these last months have felt like.

I thought I understood things. I was pretty open with being old, an Aspie, not understanding memes, or humor, or tik tok, or certain aspects of people's behavior like jealousy, but the problem with joking about this is that it's so easy to take as just a joke. That I'm just making fun of myself (oh it's that too). I got advice from some of you, which I ignored, because I thought that I could be different. That there was no danger in getting close. That I could be just another voice in the crowd. An occasionally evil avocado. That this couldn't blow up in my face, that everything was cool.

And then it did. And I was wrong. And the talking started, and things were coming out that I had no idea that was going on. That I was being held responsible for. Opinions that were spoken in my name. Events I was supposed to have been aware of and supported. All of a sudden I was omniscient, aware of the true passive aggressive meaning of every reblog, aware of every post in every room in the discord I wasn't even running. Wasn't even a mod on. All of a sudden I had power, and I had used it to hurt people. The people I cared about. Everything I wrote was taken in the worst possible way, twisted into things I never meant, and the more I tried to talk to people, the worse it went.

Look. I know this was at heart a war between people that just doesn't like each other and the things they do/the ways they behave. I'm still not entirely sure who's been involved, and I'm not interested in finding out. I tried to build a supportive space, reblog everyone's art and fics, encourage people to make their own things, get a kofi, get some money, make some friends.

And herein lies my problem.

I thought I understood how to be, and now I don't. I have no idea who hates my guts and who doesn't (well, except some who has very vocally let me know). I can't trust anything. I can't trust anyone. And it sucks. Someone I trusted stabbed be in the back because they were convinced I stabbed them in the back and that sucks more than I can describe. Every time I make a comment on AO3 or twitter it's after psyching myself up for half an hour, and I'm usually a wreck afterwards, because my brain doesn't know if they hate me too, and if I am imposing on them and making their day bad.

So yeah. I need to figure out how to be. How not to have a nausea attack every time I accidentally click open tumblr from pure reflex, looking away from the screen just not to see how may messages I have.

I never wanted to be the aloof author, but maybe I have to be. The question is if I can. I have been told I can't comment on pics or fics, because then I have favorites. And that makes people jealous. And it makes people think I take sides. I have been told I can't be on the discord, because then I will be held responsible for what the mods do there, and everything that's said even when I'm not around. I should apparently have someone manage the tumblr, it's not something that I, an author should do.

I now understand the authors who just stay away and remain distant, because people give themselves the power to write the narrative for you.

Part of me wants to tell people what I've told my current bosses, don't assume, just talk to me. I don't pick up/do passive aggression, I don't understand hints, I have trouble with nuance, I don't listen to gossip, I don't interact enough to know anything that's going on. Just ask before assuming.

Except that right now I can't. I can't talk about any of this. It's too close. It sets me off. It's getting better, sure, I'm on medication again, but the smallest thing still can ruin my entire day. I have no idea how long it will take me to recover and come back to some semblance of normality. I'm not posting this myself (my partner does). Writing is going well, because it lets me not be myself. I need those walls again. The therapy of writing about pain.

I'll rebuild them. I'm not entirely sure who I'll be on the other end of it. We'll see.

I have consciously not spoken about any details because those could be misunderstood, this is not a passive aggressive callout to anybody. I have no hard feelings towards anyone, I am not angry or upset, just confused and sad. I am truly so very, very, very sorry that I've hurt people, both by action and inaction. It was never my intention. I will do my best to do better in the future.

Still working on how to do that.

#personal

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elsanna-shenanigans · 3 years

Text

June Contest Submission #4: Flash Point

Words: ca. 5,500 Setting: mAU Lemon: yes CW: swearing, alcohol consumption, mentions of hunting, weed, tobacco

Why was it so damn hot?

The Sun bore down with unusual cruelty, and the air was so heavy it felt damp against her skin, too thick to breathe, and if the dog at the other end of the leash she was holding’s panting was anything to go by, Anna was not alone in her feeling. They hadn’t even gone far, yet the Vizsla was pulling towards a shaded patch of grass and plopping down with a little whine.

“I’m not carrying you home, so you better hurry before it gets really hot,” she grumbled. On the other hand she couldn’t exactly blame him. She’d spent the last five years studying abroad, two years in Oslo and three at Uppsala University. The Scandinavian Summers were comparatively cool and mild when contrasted to the hot, humid Summers so typical of the Eastern part of the North American continent. Her dog was born in Europe, and at the ripe old age of 3, had quite literally never known such high temperatures.

“Tűz, fot!”

The dog lifted his head to look at her then let out a noise of complaint before he got up and very slowly made his way to a heel position, looking forlorn. She chuckled a little at how dramatic he was being and gave him a gentle pat.

“Duktig hund!“

A crown of dew formed around her temples and coated her shoulders and her neck. Given it was only 8:30 am, she dreaded to think what the rest of the day would be like. At least, she figured, her parents and the rest of her family likely wouldn’t want to leave the cool respite of the central AC.

She quickened her step at the prospect, hurrying back to the modest house her sister had began renting sometime after Anna had left for Europe. As much as she adored her parents, she’d been overjoyed when Elsa asked her to stay with her, and she’d been eager to make up for lost time. Of all the things she’d missed while studying, her older sister was what she’d missed most, leading her to question whether it was possible to be homesick for a person.

As she walked through the door, she found Elsa in the kitchen, frantically shoving a granola bar into her bag, along with a sandwich and some gatorade. Without looking up, she reached for her car keys and brushed passed Anna, only pausing briefly to kiss her forehead and mumble “good morning” which immediately drew a smile on Anna’s lips.

“Got everything?”

“Yeah I think I left most of Tűz’s stuff in the car.”

“Alright, let’s go.”

-x.x.x-

The drive to their parents place was a little over 20 minutes, but fortunately brought Elsa a little closer to the work errands she had ro run that day. Anna was a little bummed she wouldn’t be spending most of the day with her, but took comfort in the fact she’d come join them as soon as possible. Her eyes studied the edges of Elsa’s cheekbones, admiring her chiseled features, and the way the stray strands of blond escaping from her messy braid framed her face. Anna hoped that she had thought of applying sunscreen before leaving, though she somehow doubted it, given how hectic she’d been just before they’d left.

“Is it okay if I don’t take you all the way down?”

Pulled out of her reverie, it took her a moment to process the meaning of the question, until she remembered her older sister was referring to the downhill driveway that led to their parent’s house.

“Oh sure! I forgot how tricky it is to turn around and come back up from there.”

“How could you forget you very nearly wrecked the paint job on dad’s brand spanking new car?”

Anna cringed with embarrassment at the memory, but a reassuring ruffling of her hair cued her in on the affectionate nature of the teasing. The car stopped and Elsa turned to face her with a soft smile.

“I’ll try to be quick ok? I’ll text you as soon as I know when I can come meet you.”

“Okay, I’m pretty sure we aren’t going very far in this weather anyhow.”

The car’s thermometer indicated an outside temperature of 37°C at the moment and she had a sense the felt temperature would only get worse. She grimaced, until Elsa reached over to hug her. She twisted in her seat, reaching to embrace her, leaning in to give her a quick peck on the cheek, only to find they were both leaning in the same direction with the same idea. She readjusted, and so did Elsa, so they both course corrected once more, this time fully confident that she’d accomplish her task at hand. In their hurry to affectionately see each other off, the momentum they’d gained was too strong to brake, and somehow they both landed smack dab in the middle, their lips colliding in a soft peck.

Anna felt a little spark and let out a giggle, shared by Elsa who immediately looked up at the ceiling of her car, mortified, but unable to shake the wry smile of amusement.

“Nothing like a little accidental incest to get your day going huh?”

She shook her head and reached up to tuck a strand of hair back behind Elsa’s ear, shrugging nonchalantly, genuinely amused because what else could you do at such a ridiculous situation? An accidental kiss, with her older sister warranted laughs, and she was sure the rest of the family would find it hilarious when she’d tell them.

“It’s just like that Folgers commercial: the best part of wakin’ up, is incest in your cup.”

There was a glint of mischievous amusement in her eye, in spite of the sheepish grin, almost apologetic for what she had just said (rather than what she had done).

“Dear lord, Anna, just take your dog and go. At the very least this day can only improve as I’ve just hit rock bottom.”

Doing as she was told, she got out of the car, retrieving her dog from the back seat along with their belongings before she turned to Elsa, offering her a bright smile, the hint of a smirk still lingering in amusement.

“Bye, I love you, drive safely!”

“I love you too, see you later.”

She watched as the car pulled back up to the top of the hill, waiting for it to disappear, just long enough to feel the weight of the heat begin to crush her, Sun searing her skin with eager malice. Anna turned to look downwards, recognizing the solar panels on either side of the roof, and the glass roof of the integrated green house. It felt so familiar to her, and as she walked towards it, it gave her a sense of comfort even if it no longer really was home.

Subconsciously she reached up with her fingertips tracing her lower lip where the ghostly sensation of the peck crackled with electricity, forcing a little quirk of her mouth as the thought of it tickled her. How funny, she pondered, that she’d felt more from an accidental kiss with her sister than she’d had the last time she’d kissed someone. If that wasn’t the most obvious indicator of lack of chemistry, she didn’t know what was!

Knocking on the door she couldn’t wait to catch her parents up on this, tell them about the mishap, and couldn’t wait to see who amongst their relatives would have joined them for Anna’s welcoming home party.

However, when her mother opened the door and embraced her tight, prompting excited tail wags and jumping from her dog, and asking her how she was, Anna found herself unable to speak it, suddenly second-guessing whether Elsa would appreciate her telling them, and wondering if it would come across as weird after all, rather than strictly funny. She couldn’t shake the feeling, and wasn’t sure why.

A while later, the moment had passed with relentless overthinking on her part and even still as she drank coffee and ate croissants with her mother, father, her uncle and her cousin, the sensation of the spark lingered on her lips, leaving her flustered with butterflies at the thought of her older sister’s mouth.

That thought was soon cast aside however as her dog tried climbing into her lap which prompted her uncle to ask her about him.

“What kind of dog is that?”

Though the breed was becoming more prevalent in North America and increasingly popular with hunters it wasn’t quite as well spread in Canada as it was in the USA.

“Tűz is a Vizsla.”

“Gesundheit.”

She rolled her eyes, wanting to correct

“It’s a Hungarian Pointer breed. Pretty ancient, excellent and versatile gun dogs. I had him evaluated by a trainer in Sweden who said he was a natural bird dog. His name means ‘fire’, in Hungarian.”

Even as she was listing out her boy’s illustrious origins she figured it likely sounded just the slightest bit improbable to her uncle Frederic, given how said majestic hunter was currently curled up in her lap with his front paws on her shoulders.

“Huh. Y’know nothing beats a good Lab in my opinion but he sure is cute. He even looks like you, redhead and all!”

“Y’hear that? Uncle Fred thinks you’re cute! Don’t tell him you could outrun his lab in upland hunting any day.”

She turned to give her dog a little kiss on the cheek, but her mind immediately went back to the tingling she felt there, which seemed to amplify as she replayed the earlier moment with Elsa in her head, from start to finish. Her kopfkino was overshadowed with a much more pressing sense of dread however, when she heard her father’s warm voice cheerfully ask:

“Alright, who’s ready to rock and roll?”

-x.x.x-

Though Anna had been distinctly less than thrilled at the prospect of going back out into the the fiery pits of hell her hometown had become, she took some consolation in the fact they were headed to her favourite, fully air conditioned lake front eatery. To sweeten the deal, Tűz had been so charming and well behaved, the staff didn’t question his coming in, and he immediately laid down under the table as he had been taught to do.

The plan had been to eat first then head out to the beach for a swim. Of course no one had informed her prior so she hadn’t brought along a swimsuit, and she did her best to eat her lunch as slowly as possible. She’d failed to do the same with her drink though, the thirst was real and the long island iced tea was sweet. It had taken everything in her power not to text Elsa so as not to bother her (and avoid looking like the clingy younger sister she’d always worried she came across as).

Trying to ignore her phone as she shared anecdotes and tidbits of her time spent overseas, she almost missed the notification from her older sister.

Hey, I’m close to finishing up here. Where did you guys end up going?

Mid-sentence, Anna interrupted herself to focus on typing back a quick response.

We’re at The Captain’s Favourite, we’re almost done eating then we’re going swimming. Meet us at Faux Fjord Beach?

Awesome I’ll be there in about 15ish. Btw can you get me one of their Vodka Lemonade Slushies? Please and thank you! Can’t wait to get hammered on the beach and finally catch up with you ;* ( <- fully intentional, not accidental incest this time)

Anna blushed the slightest bit at the emoji, subconsciously biting her lip as it tingled again, and she giggled at the joke initially. At the very least, it was reassuring to know she hadn’t been the only one to think about their silly little incident this morning.

Omg I forgot this place did frozen cocktails, that’s an amazing fucking idea. Same tho, can’t wait! See you soon <3 (not sure that’s legal)

“So Anna, are you going to tell us about your boyfriend?”

Her eyes shot up from her phone to find her cousin Rapunzel with an eyebrow quirked and a knowing smirk, along with the rest of her family looking at her expectantly.

“My what?”

“Girlfriend? Whoever that was that just texted you! Clearly you’ve been holding out on us because dang girl, you’ve got it bad.”

Anna stifled the urge to grab her glass of water and toss it at her cousin’s face, force of habit from their youthful roughhousing days. The cycle of merciless teasing and correspondent indignation was just as part of being home as the rest.

“Chrissake no that was Elsa! I was laughing at one of her stupid jokes, she was asking where to meet us.”

Unimpressed green eyes looked at her with skepticism, unconvinced that Anna was telling the truth. Her first impulse was to show her the text exchange to prove it, but she then realized that the out of context inside joke would land with the current audience.

“C’mon, the girlish giggling? The lip biting? The blushing?”

Her ears felt hot and a flash of defensiveness flared up within her but she exerted just enough self-control not to throw herself into an argument about wrongful perception. Instead she pointedly ignored that line of questioning and relayed her older sister’s message to the rest of their family.

“She said she’d be here in 15 minutes, and I told her to meet us down by the beach.”

A familiar, warm, curious little head poked out from under the table, golden eyes round and hopeful.

“I said beach, not bitch.”

Laughter erupted around her and she let out a quiet sigh of relief under her breath, patting her dog softly as she leaned backwards sinking into the booth seat.

-x.x.x-

Anna was looking out at the water with a slightly forlorn expression, watching her dog swim out to her folks, then back to the shore on a loop of manic joy, wishing she could join them. Alas, with no bathing suit the best she could do was tie up her tank top, sitting in her daisy dukes under the sunshade, though she licked her wounds by sipping on the Bourbon Peach Lemonade Slushie she’d ordered.

When a pair of arms embraced her from behind, nonchalantly sliding over her shoulders she immediately perked up at the recognition of the familiar scent that accompanied them. Before she could say anything however, Elsa was kissing the side of her cheek (successfully this time), and her heart skipped a beat as she smiled in response.

“Hey, didn’t feel like swimming?”

Anna turned to look as her sister sat down beside her, scooting into the shade, though not before her eye had caught sight of the dew on her skin betraying the heat. It was a little nicer on the lake, a pleasant breeze kept it from feeling completely unbearable, but still it would have been so much better if she could’ve gone swimming.

“No one informed me either, remember? Didn’t bring my bathing suit.”

Reaching for Elsa’s drink which she managed to time almost perfectly before her arrival, she handed it over and took another sip from her own, her ears twitching slightly at the sound of the crushed ice compacting with the liquid.

“Thanks,” was the murmured acknowledgement.

“Guess that means you’re stuck drinking with me.”

Her sister reached up to ruffle her auburn hair affectionately and Anna raised her mason jar with a smug little smirk showing that she was already well under way.

“Way ahead of you, you’re gonna be playing catch up now.”

“Hm is that a challenge or a warning?”

Elsa’s tone sounded playful but her polarized aviator-style sunglasses hid the extent of her expression, making it somewhat unreadable. Anna shrugged, starting.

“Well if you aren’t a coward, it’s- ah!”

She shrieked as she felt sharp, cutting cold against her bared shoulder. Glancing over, she saw that Elsa had pressed her still perfectly icy lemonade against her skin, amusement curling her mouth as she took her first gulp through the bendy straw. Anna’s resent at the sudden cold melted like… well, snow in the sun as she noted the genuine mirth in her sister’s mischievous gesture and the way her perfect, bow-shaped lips wrapped around the straw.

“Don’t get cocky, getting hammered was my idea remember? I’m gonna see it through.”

Anna had scoffed but been unable to respond anything right away, instead distracted by the way the unruly strands of platinum that pried themselves loose from Elsa’s braid either floated softly, or stuck to the gentle sheen of her neck. Unable to resist the urge to try and tuck them back at times, it earned her an easy, quick smile whenever she did.

They’d remained mostly in comfortable silence, Anna stealing glances at Elsa’s exquisite face, trying to guess her expression behind the glasses she wore, studying how much she had changed, and it what was she was still identical to the way she remembered her. She wondered if her older sister was in any way aware of the stunning beauty she was.

If they spoke, it was with a mixture of familiarity and uncertainty, like they were both re-learning to speak each other’s language without having ever really left one another. In truth, even before she’d gone to study abroad, It hadn’t always been easy for Anna to read her older sister, penetrate through the wall of ice she guarded herself with. And yet, she had never felt like she was being treated with anything besides love and tenderness. She relished in the small touches, the tactile displays of adoration she had missed so dearly from her and marvelled at how ravishing and confident she managed to look with such a simple and laidback style. The ripped jeans, beater-boy tank top and the shades were achingly cool and suited her all too well.

She knew their parents were overly proud of her for getting a fancy degree overseas, and that they generally avoided discussing Elsa’s lack of direction in life. It didn’t matter one bit to Anna, she would always look up to and admire her older sister, maybe even more so because in spite of her struggles she’d managed to gain her independence.

A brush of the hand against her shoulder, a gentle stroke in the nook of her palm. Fingertips brushing her hair out into her back. Fuck, while she hadn’t been isolated the whole time she was away and had her share of memorable trysts, this kind of intimacy sent pleasant tingles down her spine, and she only just realized now how much she’d missed it. It made her own fingers twitch with the need to touch, to stroke, to hold but she kept her foot on the pedal, once again afraid of coming across as clingy.

When they had found the bottoms of their drinks, likely far too quickly for the amount of alcohol that were mixed in, Anna was resting her head on her older sister’s shoulder. Elsa had turned around to rummage through her bag, before handing Anna a bottle of spray-on sunscreen.

“Really? I’d like to remind you I tan m-more easily than you…”

Elsa laughed at that point and shook her head, reaching for Anna’s free hand with her own and giving it an affectionate little squeeze.

“That’s the point, I want you to put some on my back, you know I’m old and crunchy and cannot reach for shit.”

She snatched it out of her sister’s hand and scoffed.

“Firstly, shut up, you’re not old, you have a good two years of immortality left ahead of you.”

Popping off the lid she shook the bottle as per the instructions on the label before. It felt slippery with her palms so sweaty, matching the rest of her body’s glow. While the drink had been refreshing on the way down, she regretted the way the alcohol made her skin flush and feel hot at this point.

“Secondly, lie down, don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“Overheard in the town of Arundel. Out of context sisters.”

She felt like an idiot for laughing, but she couldn’t help that Elsa got her sense of humour so well and threw zinger after zinger about this since that very morning. Anna then waited for her to lay down on her stomach over the giant beach towel that had served as a makeshift picnic blanket.

Her heart felt suddenly a little more forceful as it beat faster in her chest when she looked down at the exposed shoulder blades and lower back revealed by the hiked up shirt. Her mouth felt strangely dry and she didn’t for a second question the notion of finding Elsa genuinely gorgeous as she began to spray the solar protection onto the pale, fair, just barely freckled skin.

Not wanting to hurt or surprise her, she very gingerly began rubbing to spread it more evenly. It soon became clear however that from this angle she wouldn’t be able to get the coverage the lotion needed in order to be effective. She swallowed quickly and subconsciously wet her lower lip with her tongue. Her head started racing as thoughts swirled in her head and she felt almost feverish. She knew she’d be better off straddling Elsa to apply the lotion properly, and she knew it was no big deal, yet still felt she should ask before doing so. On the other hand, asking might make it weird, and while they were enjoying their running gag from earlier this morning, this was a whole new level.

God. Was she really overthinking helping her sister to put on protective sun lotion? This was fucking ridiculous.

Buck up, or shut up.

Finally getting over herself, she swung her leg up, straddling Elsa’s thighs, trying to watch for any signs of discomfort as she went to work.

“Mh, do you mind pressing a little harder against my lower back? Cause that feels really nice.”

Elsa’s skin was already damp, but somehow mixing it with the sunscreen made it feel silky, rather than sticky to the touch and Anna obliged, hoping she wouldn’t lose track of where she’d already rubbed, or that the sweat beading at her own crown wouldn’t start dripping down on her sister because the thoughts and implications there were maybe a little bit much, even for her. Yet the more she spread out her touch, the more she thought about their earlier text exchange, suddenly fixating on the parenthesis and the emoji, and the accidental kiss and… truly the unbearably hot weather was getting to her head and she’d have half a brain cell to be convinced she had a fever.

“Leave some for yourself, in spite of what you think you still need to protect yourself too. I’ll even return the favour.”

Anna gulped, almost audibly.

Miles away clouds gathered hanging heavy and jealously holding the crushing humidity hostage, unbeknownst to them which in turn only cranked up the heat Anna was struggling with being subjected to. It created a restless tension within her, an unconscious anticipation.

-x.x.x-

The rest of the afternoon and evening Anna had been torn between the trepidation of going back to Elsa’s (their) place, and the secure comfort of her parents home. She’d avoided her cousin’s exacting questions about her European paramours and at dinner had been unable to focus on conversation as she’d felt Elsa’s occasional touch. The brush of her ankle against her leg, the innocent stroke of her hand on her side when she’d reach over for something on the table.

She’d told herself she was just exhausted from the heat and stimulation and simply wanted to get back to an environment where she could decompress.

And while it was true a huge part of her stress was lifted the moment they’d arrived back at Elsa’s (their) place, the excitement of being alone together crackled with an unfamiliar weight in the air. Tűz had gone immediately to plop down in the love seat closest to the AC unit and almost instantly had began to snore.

Elsa had dropped her keys on the kitchen counter, grabbing a pair of beers from the fridge, handing one to Anna before she’d walked towards the kitchen door leading to the patio.

“I packed a bowl this morning if you want. Just gonna have a quick smoke.”

Anna had nodded and gone to sit down on the couch, feeling weirdly tense, shaking a little as she’d reached for the glass pipe on the coffee table and the lighter next to it. She put a flame to it, igniting the smoke and breathing it in deeply, hoping it would help ease the knot in her stomach. The entire day had passed and yet, whenever she thought of the accidental kiss they’d shared this morning, the spark still felt vivid, like the simple thought was enough to reignite the sensation. She couldn’t remember sharing an intentional, yet alone an accidental kiss with anyone else that left the same imprint. She wanted to ask Elsa if it was the same for her, if the element of surprise was simply being mistaken by her mind and body for excitement.

After all, this was her sister. It couldn’t possibly mean anything else. The idea of it being anything more was preposterous and inconceivable. Right?

But when Elsa returned with the smell of tobacco mingling into her natural scent, and the woody notes of her perfume, mixed into a sweet, soothing and… attractive blend, Anna could only move towards her as she sat on the couch and looked up at her, a sleepy smile hiding the slight trembling in the rest of her body.

When she felt two hands cradle the sides of her face, her whole body went tense. Elsa’s icy gaze burned down into her eye and Anna’s breath caught in her throat, her heart pounding so hard she could feel it at the edge of her lips. She dared not twitch a muscle as the moment lingered and Elsa’s thumbs stroked her cheekbones with a heartbreaking gentleness.

A strike of lightning flashed outside, quickly succeeded by a crack of thunder.

Anna’s eyes closed as she felt soft, pink, perfect lips against her own, and her mouth parted invitingly on instinct as she leaned forward. The fever, the restlessness, the mania that had built up throughout the day exploded as torrential rains beat down against the window pain, and Anna pressed her upper body into Elsa, her hands finding the edges of her tank top, savouring the taste of her, especially as she suckled at the tip of her tongue.

Quiet gasps and sharp, shallow moans floated between them, and she hungrily kissed her back, nails scratching at the now exposed skin of her sacral area. She hooked her fingertips in the fabric of her shirt pushing it up with an urgency that was perhaps borne out of the clamour of the formidable display from the heavens outside. Though she’d have been lying to herself if she’d said it wasn’t also spurred on by the clenching she’d felt in her own lower belly any time she’d thought of her sister’s mouth against hers that day.

She broke the kiss, though not before she’d given Elsa a little nip of the teeth to her lower lip, and only long enough to hurriedly discard both of their shirts, giving her a coy, heavily lidded glance as she noticed her older sister’s gaze on her now exposed, freckled breasts and pert nipples. She’d not been wearing a bra because, well, it had been too hot, and she could in fact get away with it.

Confidently, Anna reached for the nape of Elsa’s neck giving it a littler squeeze to bring her back to herself immediately sliding her tongue between her lips. Her other hand caressed her side, the expanse of her stomach then travelling to the fabric of her bra. Meanwhile she produced little mewls of pleasure as she felt her sister’s hands cup her breasts hungrily and she shifted her position without missing a beat, pulling her down with her as she laid back on the couch, legs falling open, needing to feel the weight of her ribcage between her thighs.

The hand she’d held the back of Elsa’s neck with began flirting with the damp, soft skin and toying with the stray platinum coloured baby hairs. She felt Elsa shudder above her and felt her hand wrap around her wrist, pinning it above her head, which elicited a moan from Anna. Her hips rolled upwards and she felt instant frustration from the denim creating an unwelcome barrier between them and she wished it gone.

Her wish was apparently Elsa’s telepathic command.

Before she knew it they were squirming out of their respective skin tight denims with the clumsiness only eager urgency could bring. Her heart was thrumming to the relentless and unforgiving rhythm of the raging elements, and as her fingertips brushed against Elsa’s pulse, she knew hers was beating in time with them too. Chills went down her back at the thought of it and she left the harbour of her sister’s mouth to find that same point to the side of Elsa’s throat, kissing and nipping at it, causing their hips to connect frantically. One of her hands was still pinned above her head and her eyes burned with tantric desire as she looked up at Elsa, features magnified and deified each time the lightning flashed out of the living room window.

Anna let out a whine as she felt Elsa’s free hand slide between their two bodies, slick with sweat now and she knew she was blushing when she felt just how wet she was once her sister’s finger parted her folds, the heel of her palm teasing against the engorged bundle of nerves at the apex of her sex. Her hips bucked upwards with need, both in shock of the sensation and in desperation for more.

Eyes flew shut as Elsa now pressed her own hips against her hand, creating a firm inescapable pressure against Anna’s bud, and her finger pumping deep inside of her.

“Fuck!”

It was not so much exclaimed as it had been hissed as Anna’s entire body rocked into Elsa, fingertips now tugging more firmly at the blonde roots she’d been gripping, as if clearly communicating she wanted her right there, and no further, desperate to feel her as close as possible, feel their nipples brushing against one another, bodies ravenously hungry for each other.

They found a rhythm though it started off hot, frantic and messy and they found themselves pressed forehead against forehead, mouths slightly agape in the beatitude of sin, and the unbridled lusts of their animalistic pursuit. Thrust upon thrust, roll upon roll of the hips, caused electricity to spark and course through the burning of her lower stomach, tensing and clenching as she felt herself flutter against the welcomed intrusion of Elsa’s touch. Her nervous system pulsated it seemed with the same electricity that ravaged the outside world, protecting rather than threatening their unspeakable passions.

“Elsa,” she breathed almost pleadingly as she felt a storm building inside of her, one to rival the majesty of the the fierce Summer storm rattling the windows with a reckless force.

“Anna,” was the sultry, husky reply. And not that she had any way of knowing this prior to that particular moment, but she could tell that Elsa was on the edge, just as close as she was, possibly closer. Her thighs squeezed harder around her sister’s hips, ankles locking together to keep her even closer than what was thought possible until that point.

She could feel it tugging at her loins almost painfully now and she dug her nails into her own palm, the sting and bite of the pain cracking her closer.

They cried out in unison as their climaxes crested in synchronicity, but the sounds were drowned out by an emphatic strike of thunder, so loud they could’ve sworn the house shook were it not that their own bodies were sent into a shaking mess of trembling frenzy. Overwhelmed and needing to channel it somehow as lightning and fireworks exploded in her mind’s eye their lips met into another electric, full mouthed kiss.

Waves of pleasure crashed over them, unrelenting until they could take it no more, the tension evaporating as they fell limp, heart to heart breathing tickling each other’s ears, the sensation of which enough to titillate them into wanting to continue.

Exhausted, Anna buried her face in the nook of Elsa’s neck, breathing in her sent deeply. Though driven by post-coital bliss, at the back of her mind a dark cloud gathered, fear attempted to bubble up, trying to ruin the glow. She nuzzled Elsa softly, kissing the sweat covered skin, humming gently at the taste as she deliberately avoided thinking about the mess they had made.

They had a lifetime ahead of them for her to process the guilt and the shame. Or unpack the fact she did not feel any regret in the immediate aftermath of the unspeakable.

My God, what had they done?

#elsanna #submission #June 2021 contest #prompt: storm #lemon #cw: alcohol use #cw: substance abuse

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oblivion1990 · 3 years

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Living with hyper mobility syndrome within Ehlers danlos spectrum.

Warning, rant coming.

WTF am I suppose to do about a hopeless situation. I have done everything I can to cope with my illness. And I´m not talking about the mental health bit because that is not the core issue.

I have been diagnosed with eHEDS, or the hypermobility type of Ehlers- danlos syndrome. I got my diagnose september 25 2020 after struggling my whole life with things that seems so easy for other people.

For people who ask, I describe; Imagine a full grown human having 10 beans in a jar. Those beans are energy you have to take from during your whole day. Some days you may just use 8 of those beans. And can use up the rest the day after.

One bean represent a certain amount of energy for ex, getting out of bed and eating you breakfast. Two more of those beans and you getting ready for your day at work and getting to your actual workplace. The energy of getting in your car and drivning through busy traffic and stressed people. One more bean maybe required if you choose to walk there, or take the bike.

Continuing. All this is now 3 beans of energy. Getting through a whole day of full time work, you may need 3-4 more beans, depending on what you are doing. (Office or more physical). When your day is done you have “consumed” 6 of those beans.

Going home from work, again driving or walking/bike, you come home cooking dinner and enjoy social time with your family may take 2 more beans of your energy. After a “normal” day you may have 1 or two beans left to use the coming day after a good nights sleep. Where your 10 beans charge over night.

_________

Now, instead of having 10 beans in the jar like a “normal” adult, you have only 5 beans of energy to begin with. No they are not bigger och charged with 10 beans of capacity. They are only loaded with the same amount of energy BUT they have to last as long as the normal 10 beans.

Impossible?!

Yeah and this is the life of a human with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome with/or hyper mobility syndrome. The constant fatigue that stopping us from feeling normal. Add some joint pain on that and you have to use more beans (energy) to get through your day.

At the same time we are expected to do the same amount of work like a 10- bean person because we don´t look sick. Well, we cant “see” cancer until the human are actually dying or going through chemo therapy.

So why should we be treated differently? Apparently our sickness does not count. No, we´re not gonna die from it but it is still a constant battle that is impossible for healthy people to understand.

I have dreams, I went to university for 6 years. I have a masters degree in archaeology and I will probably never be able to work full time digging or even sitting down doing desk work (fulltime) even if I wanted to. I only have 5 beans of energy to take from so maybe with pauses and no stress from the outside dealing with to much people, I may be able to work 6 h a day. But that is all I can do without having a social life, or doing normal things like, working out.

Basically, the day I a workout I (2-3 times a week because it is necessary for my body) can´t really do anything else, if I do that I crash the next day and I´ll have to sleep and rest. I am unemployed because of the pandemic and I cant take any job. I have tried many times but I feel terrible and all I do is sleep on my days off.

Fun life?! No....and to be realistic, no company will probably ever want to hire me because I don´t have the full capacity to work a normal 8 h day. Be alert, have brilliant ideas and keep a lot of things in the air at the same time while being nice.

Right now I´m waiting on my contact at the employment agency to find a job that suits me. It will most likely not be within the archaeology field at all. It´s hard enough to do without any illness.

My big dream is actually to work as a forensic artist and/or create facial reconstructions within the history/anthropology field. I have an account on IG where I´ve done some sculpting work but it is only a hobby at this point.

https://www.instagram.com/creativerecon90/

I really wish I could make a career of it since I have a shit ton of debs from my studies.

I live in Sweden and there is so much the doctors don´t know about Ehlers- Danlos Syndrome. Most of them have never heard of it at all. I end up telling them all the facts. And also, every person is different. For me it´s the constant fatigue and brain fog.

Also, even if I wanted I can´t put all of this in my CV. Well I could but it would probably ruin any chance of getting work.

I just want to live a decent life and be happy. Everyone with this illness want to be heard and we need a change in how people treat us.

We do all we can but to no avail

Feel free to share this post because I want to raise awareness to this invisible illness and I want to follow my dreams despite what I have to deal with.

#ehlers danlos syndrome #hypermobile eds

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phykios · 3 years

Text

people on ao3 were thirsty for this fic so... here you go, tumblr ❤

put on the red light M, sex work au, modern royalty au, no powers au [read on ao3]

🌊🌊🌊

Sometimes, she really regrets being best friends with Piper.

Said best friend still gapes at her from across the table, jaw practically on the floor. “Never?”

Annabeth rolls her eyes. “Never.”

“Not even, like, at school?”

“When I would have had the time?” she asks. “I was attempting a five-year program in four years, and then… well, you know.” And she does know, all about the very exciting drama that went down in Annabeth’s senior year.

Piper is still flabbergasted. “Not even high school?”

Annabeth takes a sip of her drink. “I wasn’t exactly a hot commodity in high school.” She’d been passively pretty all her life, but she hadn’t exactly been what some might call Girlfriend material, capital G. She’d stuck to her fifteen year plan to the letter, eschewing most social contact, working herself into the ground to overcome ADHD by sheer force of will and get into Harvard, a plan which allowed approximately zero time for a boyfriend. Not that there were even boys that she had really liked at the time.

The only boy she had ever considered liking in that way, well. She had lost contact with him a while ago.

“I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it or not, Ripley, it’s true. I’ve never had sex. You happy?”

“I mean, if you don’t mind me asking, are you ace?” Piper asks. “Because that’s totally cool, of course.”

She shakes her head. “Definitely not ace.” She has a minor collection of personal massagers and insertable devices should she ever need to take care of an urge, and plenty of fantasies she can call on whenever the need arises--a system which has worked just fine for years.

“I just…” Piper stares, unconvincingly. “How?”

Shrugging, she takes another sip of coffee. “Just never got around to it, I guess.”

It’s not something she’s proud of, but by the same token, it’s not something that brings her shame, either. It is what it is; Annabeth, a notable workaholic, has never had sex with another person in her life. In some ways, it sucks, sure, but in other ways, it’s been a blessing in disguise. After all, no previous partners means that there’s no one to spread any dirt on the newly minted Princess Anja Elisabet of Sweden.

But Piper isn’t having it.

“Do you… want to have sex?” she asks. “Like, ever?”

As the daughter of one of the biggest movie stars in the world, she knows that Piper has had her fair share of high profile relationships, something that earned her a little bit of a nasty (and, quite frankly, racist) reputation among the paparazzi, which is ridiculous, since Piper is one of the most effortlessly gracious and classy people Annabeth knows. Piper does not go slinging herself and her partners around in the media like some of her contemporaries; instead, she likes to keep her personal details a bit closer to the chest, sharing them only with trusted confidants, like Annabeth, who knows full well how much Piper enjoys the act of sex. Sex for Piper isn’t dirty or taboo, it’s fun and it’s being close with other people, it’s liberating and exciting and intimate, and she extols its virtues whenever asked to give her opinion.

She makes sex sound really good, but never in a way that makes Annabeth feel ashamed for never having done it. Until now, of course. “Well… yeah,” says Annabeth. “I’d like to. I mean, I think it’d be kind of nice, you know, to do it at least once.”

“But then you’d have to start dating,” Piper surmises.

“Yeah,” says Annabeth, glumly.

Dating is a notorious problem for people in her line of work. Royalty, not architects, that is. Dating for architects is easy; just find someone who doesn’t mind the type A personalities and the obsession with work. Dating for royals is… significantly harder, and not really something she wants to engage with right now. She’s only been a royal for a few years, after all—she still feels like it’s a big cosmic joke, that someone is going to unearth some old documents or reveal a couple of forgeries that will bring the whole thing crashing down, and she doesn’t want to bring an outsider into all that drama, let alone deal with it herself.

Piper takes a sip of her drink, thoughtful, then lays out her next question carefully. “Have you ever considered a one-night stand?”

Annabeth stares. “You’re kidding me.”

“I’m not! People do it.”

“Yeah,” she scoffs, “people. Not me.”

“It’s really not hard,” Piper says, “I’ve done it plenty of times.”

“What, you want me to make a tinder?”

She laughs. “God, wouldn’t that be a riot. But no, I mean, there have to be other single royals or celebs around. Why not one of them?”

“Because they’re all insufferable social-climbing jackasses that make me want to rip my skull out of my face every time I’m forced to listen to them at a state dinner.”

“Okay, then.” Never one to be deterred, Piper pulls out her phone, then waits until Annabeth has taken a sip of her drink, presumably to keep her from immediately disagreeing, before dropping the bomb to end all bombs. “Let’s get you an escort.”

Annabeth snorts iced coffee directly out of her nose.

“Shit! Sorry!” Piper shoves a handful of napkins at her. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, do you need water?”

Wheezing, Annabeth shakes her head. “Give me a sec,” she coughs, fingers covering her mouth.

Thank God she’s got her trusty, anti-pap hat on. If anyone took a picture of her like this, her uncle would probably disown her.

“What the hell, Piper?” she rasps when she can finally breathe again.

“I’m so sorry, I should have timed that better.”

“No, I mean—” she coughs again. “The other thing.”

She raises an eyebrow. “The escort?”

“Keep your voice down!” On instinct, she glances around the London cafe, looking for any stray microphones. Satisfied that no one is listening for the moment, she turns back to her insane best friend. “Yes, the… that thing.”

“It’s not that crazy,” says Piper, turning back to her phone. “We’ll find you a really nice one, someone super high class and discreet, draw up an NDA, and then you can cross it off your bucket list. Man or woman?”

“Man, but—" she sputters. “I—I can’t see a prostitute! Can you imagine the scandal if it got out?”

Forget the iced coffee thing. The princess of Sweden, caught with a hooker… Annabeth is nauseous just thinking about the media circus.

“Not a prostitute,” Piper corrects. “An escort.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Same umbrella, but no.” She types away, faster than Annabeth can keep track of. “Pimping is illegal here, but escorts usually have managers.”

“Be that as it may,” because Piper seems to have forgotten the key part of this conversation, “I can’t have sex with an escort.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” The million and a half legitimate reasons not to go through with it all fly through her mind, getting lost somewhere on the way to her mouth. “Because!”

Piper just smiles at her. “I’ll get you a really nice one, promise. Think of it as a late birthday present.”

“It’s September.”

“Early Christmas, then.” And she grins, full of teeth. “Just trust me, okay? Let me take care of it.”

Famous last words, she thinks, popping a bit of scone in her mouth.

***

7PM, the Dorchester Hotel. Dinner first, then… whatever, later.

Annabeth can’t help but arrive early. She’d never been a punctual person before, but apparently now it’s been beaten into her with all the rest of her princess training.

Five-star hotels are still something of a novelty for her, even though she’s stayed in quite a few by now. Thankfully she’s never stayed here before; she’d be too worried someone on staff would recognize her.

She had thought that she’d show up early, psych herself up a little, get emotionally prepared, or at least have a little time to calm her racing heart before her… date… showed up.

Unfortunately, as punctual as she is, apparently, he’s beaten her to the punch.

He’s exactly where he said he’d be, wearing exactly what he said he’d be wearing; black suit, blue tie, gold watch. Her heart is beating so loudly, she’s sure he can hear it from across the room. “Um, excuse me,” she asks, a little more timid than she’d like, sidling up to the man. “Paris?”

At his name--well, she assumes it’s his name, but it’s probably a pseudonym now that she thinks about it--he lifts his head up, his lips already quirking up in a smile that she can only describe as troublemaking. “Bethany?”

Right. She used a pseudonym as well. A second pseudonym—one other than Anja. “Yeah,” she smiles in return, her shakiness easing.

“Hey!” He stands up from his seat in the lounge, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek. “It’s so nice to meet you!”

“You too.” She realizes with a pang; he is so tall. He’s tall, with broad shoulders and a trim waist, startlingly green eyes and thick, curly black hair. And… “You’re American?”

“I am,” he says, unashamed. “The accent gave me away, huh? Hope you weren’t looking for something else.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” she assures him. “I just wasn’t expecting it. It’s fine!"

He grins, crookedly, and she feels her heart skip a beat. “I’ll take it. Shall we head to dinner, then?”

***

Dinner was amazing, of course. The food, the atmosphere, and the company, she fully admits—all exceptional. Paris is an amazing conversationalist, she discovers, smart and funny and attentive, even gently teasing her a little. “You’re American, too, you know,” he’d said, sipping on his glass of wine, “so you can’t give me any grief over my lack of an accent.”

“I don’t live here,” she’d retorted, pointing her fork at him, “unlike some people I could mention.”

“Where do you live?”

“Ah, well—” Covering up her hesitation by taking a bite of chicken, she’d thought quickly. “Grew up in the States, but recently I moved to, um, Sweden, to be closer to my family.”

He’d nodded. “Expat, huh?”

“Something like that.”

He’d listened to her, really listened, chimed in at appropriate moments, made surprisingly insightful comments about her job and her life, and, well, he’s kind of perfect. If he weren’t an escort, he’d make an amazing boyfriend. She tells him as much, in the elevator on the way up to his room.

“Aw, thank you!” He smiles at her, a single dimple popping out under his strong cheekbones. “That’s very kind of you to say.”

“Why do you do this, anyway?” she asks. “I mean,” oh God, that question is some kind of faux pas isn’t it, Christ what the hell happened to all her etiquette training, “you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to—”

“No, it’s okay,” he says as the elevator door opens. They’re up on a high floor, where the higher high rollers like to stay, and she follows him as he walks confidently down the hallway. “It’s not an offensive question.”

Still, she feels pretty shitty for asking. “I’m sure you get asked that all the time.”

“Most clients honestly aren’t all that interested,” he admits, shrugging a shoulder. “They need something, I can provide it. It can be a little transactional at times, but I’ve met a lot of really cool people, so it all balances out in the end.” Arriving at their door, Paris swipes his keycard, holding it open for her like some kind of butler. “After you.”

The room is enormous, even for a five-star hotel. It is a full-on suite, with a seating area and separate bedroom, a large wooden desk off to one wall, a gorgeous, floor-to-ceiling window that looks onto Hyde Park, full of lights dotted about like mini constellations. “Wow,” she breathes, “look at that view.”

“I never get tired of it,” Paris says, coming up behind her. “No matter how many times I come here.”

“You come here a lot?” she asks. She almost follows it up with a question on how he can afford it, but she ruthlessly quashes that down.

“My clients like it,” is all he says.

“I’m not surprised, all that 1930s deco in the lobby. The façade is a little plain, though, in my opinion.”

“Oh yeah? How would you do it better, Miss Architect?” She gets the sense that he’s teasing her. It feels oddly intimate for the situation—he’s not a friend, or a boyfriend, or even a date. He’s an escort. Providing a service, as he put it. He shouldn’t be so friendly with her.

And yet. “Well, I love Neoclassical, but honestly, I’m not super into hotels.”

“What are you into, then?” Casually, he undoes his tie, sliding it off his neck. She swallows.

“Um.” Focus, girl. “Office buildings, monuments. I dunno. I just want to… I just want to build something good, you know? Something permanent. Proof that I was here, you know?”

“Something permanent, huh?” He speaks softly, a respectable distance away, but she’s drawn in anyway, by his open shirt collar and his easy demeanor and his stupid sea green eyes that remind her so much of— “That sounds really nice.”

Then he steps up to her. His hand, warm and big, draws up her arm, fingers tracing lightly over her skin, and she shivers. He cups her neck, fingering the hair at the base of her scalp, and leans in, his lips parted. He smells like salt, like the perfume of the wine they shared, like the sea on a sunny morning.

“Wait,” she murmurs against his lips.

Immediately, he pulls back. “Is something wrong?” he asks, concerned.

“No, no, it’s fine, I just—” She swallows, her heart racing. “I just need a minute.”

“Of course.” He takes a step back, and she has to stop herself from pulling him in further. “Do you need anything? Water, champagne? They always stock the minifridge.”

She shakes her head. “No, I’m fine. It’s just, I’ve never… done this before.”

“What, hire an escort?” He grins, rakish. “I can tell.”

“Not that—I mean, yes, that too, but I mean—I’ve never—” She huffs, annoyed she has to have this conversation twice in one week. “I’ve never had sex before, okay?”

That shocks him a little. His eyes widen, taken aback. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Chuckling weakly, she rubs a hand on her arm, looking out the window. “So… yeah.”

“So, don’t take this the wrong way,” says Paris, “but, there are easier ways to get laid than by using a professional. I mean, I’m grateful for the business and all, but, well, look at you.” He looks her up and down, somehow simultaneously respectful and entirely indecent. “I don’t think you’d have a problem getting a date.”

“It’s… complicated.” Understatement of the fucking millennium. “My friend thought this would be the easiest way to… go about it.”

Paris laughs. “You don’t agree.”

“I don’t… not agree,” she says. “I’m just. A little nervous.”

He nods. “I’d bet.” Chewing his lip, he looks towards the bedroom suite, and Annabeth tries not to think about how those teeth would feel on her mouth instead. “How about this; why don’t you take a shower? It might help calm you down a bit.”

“Won’t you be lonely?” she quips, a moment of reckless bravery.

“I have a few calls I can make,” says Paris, eyes dancing. “Go on. Make yourself comfortable.”

***

She has to hand it to the five-star hotels; the shower is always outstanding. Amazing pressure, amazing heat, it definitely rivals the plumbing in some of the castles she’s stayed at. And the robes, always so soft and warm, though a little on the small side. This one just barely covers her ass, which she figures isn’t a huge problem for tonight, but still.

When she steps out of the bathroom, she can hear Paris talking. “Uh huh,” he says. “Yeah. No, it’s going great. Professor Kleio said she’d write me a recommendation. She was really impressed with the last build. Yeah.” She runs her fingers through her wet hair, pushing it back from her face. “No, the conference is next month. Probably. Pretty sure I can get Tyson to help, but I don’t think it’ll get that far before the end of the week. Uh huh.”

Paris had taken off his suit jacket at some point; she can see it hung up in the closet on a hanger, perfectly pressed. He’s still in his shirt, but he’s unbuttoned it, the sleeves rolled up around his forearms. It is effortlessly attractive, even from the back. She coughs lightly, unwilling to startle him, and he turns, giving her another up-and-down, this one decidedly less respectful than the first.

“Hey, I gotta go, I’ll call you tomorrow. Say hi to Estelle for me. Love you.” And he hangs up.

“Your girlfriend?” she asks.

He smiles, all soft. “My mom.”

Something in her melts at his tone. “Aw,” she coos. “Is she back in America?”

“Yeah. I don’t get to see her all that often, so I try to call her every day.”

It is so unfathomably sweet, sweet and… humanizing, as weird as that sounds. He’s not just an unbelievably handsome man with a jaw cut like a diamond and a five-star rating, according to Piper, he’s a person with a whole other life that she knows nothing about. It’s liberating, in its own way. She can make mistakes with him, and he’ll understand. He won’t judge her, not against his other clients, or even his other partners.

Swallowing, she slides the robe off her shoulders, slowly, achingly. Maybe he turned the heat up while she wasn’t looking, because all of a sudden, she feels hot all over, from her cheeks to her chest and down, and down. Maybe it’s all coming from him, from the heat of his gaze on her, his pink tongue coming out to wet his lips. She wants it, wants them, wants him, on her and in her and all over her.

But he stays on his side of the room, waiting for her to take the plunge.

She steps up to him, close but not touching, breathing in the heady, strong scent of him, raking her eyes up his body for a change. Even through his shirt, she can tell he’s fit, the exposed skin of his arms tanned a deep brown, thick, coarse, dark hair running up to his wrists. On his right arm, there is a black trident long and straight, crossed by an old, white scar. “What happened here?” she asks, lifting her hand to trace it, leaving visible goosebumps in its wake.

“Sailing accident,” he whispers. “Long time ago.”

There’d been a kid at her summer camp for troubled teens who’d gotten thrown off his boat and hurt like that, once. She remembered so vividly, because she’d been on infirmary duty that day, and all she could think about while wrapping up his arm was how fucking stupid he'd been, how he could have gotten himself really hurt, how badly she’d wanted to kiss him.

She'd moved across the country before she'd gotten the chance, though, and no one else had ever made her feel like that since. Until now. “Got any other ink to show me?”

But instead of answering, he leans down, and he kisses her.

She’s been kissed before. She’s never had sex, but she’s done some kissing in her life. It’s usually pretty awkward, in her experience, too much of one thing and never enough of another.

Nope, not Paris. Of course, he’s also a phenomenal kisser. Why she expected anything else, she’s not sure.

His hands come up to circle her neck again, his thumbs running against her cheekbones. He kisses her, pouring passion and intent into her, his mouth soft and sweet against hers. And then he slips her some tongue, and it’s a whole different ballgame.

“Take off your shirt,” she whispers into his mouth.

He does, effortlessly, without detaching himself from her. It’s a smooth, easy motion, and she is delighted to discover that he is as firm as she suspected he was, the muscles jumping under her touch.

Almost without her realizing it, he backs her up towards the bed, her knees hitting the edge of the mattress. He lays her out against the sheets, his bare chest hot against hers. “Before we go any further,” he says, and she can feel the vibrations of his voice all throughout her body, “tell me—have you ever made yourself come?”

She flushes at his words, the dirty talk which should sound stupid but instead comes out all sultry and sexy. “Yes,” she says, breath hitching as he nips at her neck. “Yes, I have.”

“Good.” He smiles into the skin of her collarbone, traveling down, and down, and down. “I want you to show me how.”

“Isn’t that,” she pants, “your job?”

“Hmm, you’re right.” He pushes her thighs apart with his shoulders, bright eyes staring up at her as he licks his lips. “Let me get to work, then.”

Breathing heavily, she curls her fingers into the ten thousand count sheets, eyes fixed on the ceiling pattern. She can’t look at the dark head between her legs, can only breathe in through her nose as he kisses up the skin of her thigh, higher and higher and higher until…

Jesus fucking lord almighty.

***

“I found the perfect guy for you.”

“Piper, come on.” Theses brunch dates of theirs were starting to get a little repetitive. “I let you set me up with a professional, but I draw the line at a blind date.”

“Have I steered you wrong yet, your highness?” Piper asks, knowing grin firmly on her face.

Annabeth blushes. So what if that night with Paris was the most incredible experience she’d ever had? Doesn’t mean she’s ready for a full-on relationship, yet. “No,” she says, rubbing her temples.

“Great!” Then she does something that Annabeth doesn’t expect—she starts packing up. “So he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” she smiles, so bright it borders on painful, her nose scrunching up. “I invited him to brunch. But he’s really, really nice, I promise.”

“Does he know about—”

“No, he doesn’t, but if you wanted to spill, he’s a fantastic secret keeper.”

“How do you even know—”

Piper glances over Annabeth’s shoulder, eyes lighting up, waving a hand. “Friend of a friend of Jason, he’s a grad student at Cambridge, he’s doing his dissertation on naval history, so you know the king will love him.”

“Piper!” Annabeth half-calls, half-hisses at her friend as she stands up “Piper, you can’t just—”

“Hey,” says a voice behind her. A very familiar voice. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was joining us.” She turns around. Slowly. “Nice to meet you, I’m… Percy…” he trails off, sea green eyes widening behind a pair of thick, black glasses, beneath dark, curly hair. On his arm, a black trident stood out against his skin, straight and proud.

“Percy, meet Annabeth,” Piper says. “Annabeth, meet Percy. Okay, have fun you two!”

And she waltzes out of there, completely unaware of the absolute shitstorm she left in her wake.

#my fic #pjo #percabeth #the rivalry ends here #percy jackson #annabeth chase

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helpibrokemybrain · 3 years

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writing-prompt-s facelessnamelessanarchist Follow

Follow welcomedhappiness Farewell online privacy

Follow tikalgirl What happened?

xdvisyrx Trump happened.

Follow pizzaalle just get a VPN?

Follow earth-ruins You can’t just tell people to ‘get a VPN (Virtual Private Network)’. Buying a VPN is like buying a house. It’s very very important. Having no VPN or having a ‘wrong’ one can seriously damage your life. Especially for Americans because their privacy laws are garbage. I am going to try explain why you should get a VPN but bare with me, I am from Germany and my English is far from perfect. Let’s start with a simple test. Click this link here: https://whatismyipaddress.com/ It will tell your IP adres, your ISP (internet service provider), and your location. The location might not be very accurate, but then again, it’s just a simple website. Imagine what the government can do! So basically, everyone can find out where you live. But there is more danger. Your ISP. Your ISP logs your every move online and they are required to keep it in case the government wants access to it (or if a 3rd party wants to buy your data (yikes). They have everything. What websites you visit. How long you stay on a website. What you download. Your search terms. European laws are more subtle on this but if you are from the US you are #@*#&, especially because Trump doesn’t support the open internet. It’s scary but maybe in the future you can’t get a job because the recruiter knows your searched on ‘how to deal with depression’ or anythings else that’s supposed to be private because it’s your f*cking right. Or you get a $100k fine because you pirated a movie 15 years ago. You need a VPN. You’re dumb for not using one. but what does a VPN do? A VPN encrypts all your data so if it were be intercepted no one can ‘crack the code’ and damage your privacy. Usually being online goes like this (simplified): Your computer —-> ISP (—–> keeps data —–> sells it) But with a VPN it goes like: Your computer —–> VPN (encrypts data)—–> ISP (ISP can’t see shit) Furthermore, a VPN hides your IP address and location by giving you another IP address located in Spain for example (you can often choose from a list and change as many times as you want). Now that you know why you should get a VPN and what is does it is important to educate yourself because people often choose the wrong VPN. VPN providers are also businesses and have to obey the law. If you choose a VPN provider located in the US then you are throwing your money away because the laws in the US shits on your privacy. If the US gov wants the provider to give all their logs they have to obey. The ISP still can’t see what you are doing online and sell your data but the US gov can interfere with your VPN provider so NEVER CHOOSE A PROVIDER LOCATED IN THE US. I just wanted to make that very clear so my followers don’t buy false security. There is still more danger! Who says your VPN provider isn’t selling your data? You need to check their logging policy. Do they keep logs? If yes, what for? For how long do they keep them? Tip: Choose a provider who doesn’t keep logs More about law The US is part of the Five Eyes program (the worst): The Five Eyes, often abbreviated as FVEY, is an intelligence alliance comprising Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the United States. These countries are bound by the multilateral UKUSA Agreement, a treaty for joint cooperation in signals intelligence (source) There is also a Nine Eyes (bit better) and Fourteen Eyes Program (better). You don’t want a VPN provider who is located in one the Five Eyes countries. If you had to choose go for a provider located in a country that’s part of the Fourteen Eyes Program or even better, go for a country that isn’t part of any program! I know this is a shitty explanation and please pardon my english but now it’s time to do your own research. Take your privacy seriously. Maybe WWIII breaks out and you get killed for liking the ‘wrong’ FB-page. Go to this website: https://thatoneprivacysite.net/simple-vpn-comparison-chart/ Make sure that your future VPN provider both has green boxes for Privacy Jurisdiction and Privacy Logging. I recommend ovpn.se and trust.zone. ovpn is located in Sweden so they are part

of the 14 Eyes Program and they keep minimal logs. Their business ethics, however, are alright. Trustzone is located in the Seychelles. No country can interfere and their privacy jurisdiction is the best you can get. The US want your data but needs to get it from Trustzone? The Seychelles will simply give them the finger and wave them goodbye. However, this makes this provider very appealing for people who torrent and criminals because they keep no logs (and that is how it shoud be) Also, there are almost no marketing efforts so this provider is one the cheapest) Also, often providers such as ExpressVPN are being called ‘The Best’ on websites about VPNs but know that this is just marketing which also makes those provider more expensive (and they too shit on your privacy) This must be the worst article you have ever read but please, please take your privacy very seriously. EDIT: I got many people asking me which provider I use. For those who want to know, I use Trust Zone. They offer a free 3-day trial with no strings attached. But still do your own research!

writing-prompt-s I am also with Trustzone but I think you forgot to explain one of it’s most important features. It protects you when you are using someone else’s Wi-Fi. If you are at Starbucks and you use their Wi-Fi your privacy is at risk. Anyone with ill intentions could steal your information. Especially if you are using an unsecured Wi-Fi hotspot. With a VPN your data gets encrypted so no one can steal it.

Follow rabbittiddy Wait, what’s going, on? Did trump destroy internet privacy with a bill or something? Where’s the news? Oh wait, why am I getting visions of Alex Jones and selling water purifiers?

Follow thecrystalfems He hasn’t yet but he says he wants to. And if he is serious about it it would be really easy to do. Since all our data is already recorded, as the person above explained.

Follow coltrer Trump wants more surveillance of Muslim Americans. This in a country where internet privacy is already close to non-existent. Trust.Zone has a free trial. Use it. btw this post only has 11k notes? That’s quite disappointing for something this important. Don’t reblog this post to save a life. Reblog this to protect an entire family!

Follow imthedoctor12 @earth-ruins @writing-prompt-s Should I get trustzone for my mobile device?

writing-prompt-s If you use public Wi-Fi, then yes. Which VPN you use is up to you, amigo. Take @earth-ruinsadvice. Do your own research first.

writing-prompt-s @elvesfromthedeep just brought the current situation in the US to my attention (March 30, 2017). SourcesAnger as US internet privacy law scrapped Congress just voted to let internet providers sell your browsing history To all my friends in the US, please read this entire post. Making everyone aware of VPNs is going to be my mission. Your privacy matters. Please reblog this post.

Follow greeneyespurpleheart Don’t tell me you just wanted to scroll past this. Stop looking at pictures of cats for a moment, okay? Don’t you realize how important this is? This is dangerous! ‘America, the best FREE country in the world’ my ass. With this new law your ISP can sell your Internet history which could include passwords, usernames, religion, credit card numbers, race and much more to the highest bidder. So here is what I want you to do. You are going to read the whole thing and before you think ’this is so important. Let me reblog this real quick and go back to admiring cats again-’ NO! Don’t reblog this. Take action first. Then reblog. Sign up for a free trial! Trust.Zone offers one (here). Yes. It might be difficult to set up a VPN for some people. But is that going to stop you from protecting yourself and your family? 30 minutes. 30 minutes is all that it takes. 5 if you know how to install software. The problem with some of you is that you see ‘difficult’ as something negative. I want you to see difficult differently. I need you to push through this stuff. You are going to protect yourself. There is nothing negative about that. VPNs are fun and costsaving too! A VPN bypasses geographical restrictions so you can access websites you normally can’t or you could start Netflix’s one month free trial over and over again- forever. And it’s legal! (unless you use it to buy weapons etc.,) Don’t tell yourself that you are too tired and that you will do this tomorrow. Because that isn’t going to happen and you know it. You have to do this right now. You only have to click on it. Don’t let this/shit/life just happen to you. Take yourself seriously. Get a VPN. Privacy is not a privilege, it’s a fundamental human right

joyfuldefender Ok sorry that it’s so freaking long and also sorry for the language, but this is extremely important. Please reblog!

Follow li-ionsandtigersandbears Reblogging again bc this is important

Follow mermaidz4ever We have a VPN you should get one too

killmongersbaby Please read.

Follow bae-in-maine Can you get them for your phones?

Follow kika-lei ^ you can. & when you have a subscription you can use it on your phone and computer. no need for separate subs or purchases. it is absolutely so important for safety. but one of my fave things to do with my vpn is access non-US netflix. I mean other places have all the new good place eps, all the ‘classic’ bggo eps…

i-cant-remember-who-i-am IMPORTANT

Follow theriflemanofroblox reblogging so new people can be aware :)

Follow facelessnamelessanarchist Long as hell, but read it!!!

Source: welcomedhappiness

————————— I found this post and I thought it was important but tumblr wouldn’t let me reblog it for some reason so I copy/pasted it because I’m not very tech savvy

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sherlockfanficwriting · 4 years

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Sherlock “Dangerous Love” (x reader)

Summary - You were always as smart as your brother, Sherlock, however you functioned....a little bit more normal. Breaking into your sister’s psychiatric prison brings forth danger, making you and Sherlock susceptible to it. Will Eurus’s tricks and aid of Moriarty fail to overcome your combined intelligence and skills, if so, will it come with a price? What sacrifices will be made?

Warnings - blood, violence

A/N - I’m certain most of you will love this story as from the feedback from the sibling stories. It’s something you’ve been waiting for. I kinda added some more things to eurus too. Enjoy. @redheaded-hobbit @fanfictionsilove love all u huge credit to @bakerstreethound for basically giving me an amazing dialogue and action scene with Moriarty and the shot, couldn’t have done any better. Check out her works if you love Sherlock ❤️

You skipped up the steps to Sherlock’s flat and burst through the door. He sat on his usual chair. John stood next to him, pacing. Your brother locked eyes with you.

“Did you know?” He asked.

You shook your head. How could you know you had a sister? You’ve had no memories. All you remembered were your brothers, much smaller.

“Did Mycroft tell you anything else?” You asked, walking closer to him. Sherlock’s eyes gave way into his thoughts. He was concentrating, processing a plan.

“I know where she’s at. I got a summary and went on from there.” He squinted his eyes. “Did you get anything else?”

You pursed your lips. “Maybe. Tell me what you have first.”

Sherlock breathed hard. “Master mind. She’s connected with Moriarty. Went to Sweden then the states on multiple jobs, developing a base. In prison now. She was a scientist, worked in chemistry.”

“Like you,” John said, looking at Sherlock.

“She’s involved with Moriarty, however I think he’s tricked. Multiple disguises. You’ve seen her already,” you faced John, “you have too.”

A confused look spread across his face. “I have?” He asked.

You nodded. “She’s good at this.”

“I don’t doubt that she was behind some of Moriarty’s plots. Lestrade has a hit on something else. Threats on the prime minister. They’re talking about a bomb. I went over and spoke with him. It’s Moriarty’s work.” Sherlock said, looking up at the ceiling. He was stumped, which was quite odd for him.

“We have to stop her. Break the connection. Find out her motives. We couldn’t possibly know.” You said. John sighed and lightly cursed under his breath.

“Threats to the government. Perfect,” John huffed.

“She’s using him,” you added. You already knew it. Moriarty was merely a puppet. His only flaw was his trust. It was too easy. She offered him momentary pleasure. He was easy.

“We’re going to go see her.” Sherlock said, standing up and walking to the kitchen. You followed him.

“How?” John asked.

“You’ll see.” Sherlock said, putting on his coat. You walked out the door with Sherlock. John followed behind. He called for a taxi. One came sprinting by and you hopped in with everyone.

“Waterloo station.” Sherlock said.

----------------

The train took you from London to Wales. The skies were dark with dismay. John still looked confused.

“I’ll see you there?” You said to your brother.

He nodded. “Stay on time.”

You began walking off.

“(Y/N)!” Sherlock called. You turned around.

“Be safe.” He said. You smiled at them. You weren’t exactly the best at being safe.

Danger was in your blood. You could sense almost everything, but you couldn’t always sense danger. Most times, you placed yourself in it. You didn’t know why, but thinking about it led you in a loop, undiscovered.

You continued walking onwards from the station and turned around. Sherlock and John went the other way, their bodies soon became lost with the people. You called for a taxi which took you further up the bay, closer to the water. You toyed with your nails, couldn’t refrain from thinking about Eurus. Did you share any traits with her? Were you similar? Was she like you? You knew about her disguises, but you never knew what she looked like. She was manipulative. You could only elaborate on that. You were eager to find out more, pieces together the missing remnants of your childhood. You hopped out of the taxi after paying the driver. You were much closer to the water now. Dark waves hit the stone supports harshly. Small boats were on the water. You scanned the abyss.

“Got it.” You said to yourself.

The small distinct cargo ship you were told to look for was parked and getting ready to leave. You quickly looked around and saw a construction vest and a few jackets hung over a rail near the ship. You walked to it and swiftly grabbed the vest, putting it on in one move. You messed up your hair a bit and shirt, trying to look worn. You were wearing a pair of black palazzo pants and heels which made you rethink your plan. You walked up to the side door of the ship. A man stood pacing around on his phone, smoking a cigarette. He looked up at you when you walked inside.

“I left a few tools in the back from before. Management asked me to get them real quick.” You looked at him and smiled, trying to radiate your charm.

“Sure, sweetie. We leave soon, just so you know,” The man said.

“I’ll be out before you know it.” You winked at him which caused him to shake his head and blush.

You began walking around near the back, pretending to know where you were going. You opened another door, which lead to a series of steps to the keel. You closed the door and walked down. There was ship machinery in every corner. You wiggled through some engines and sat down on a spot between two. You were certain no one would see you here. You waited six whole minutes until you felt the ship start moving. You sighed in relief and patiently waited. Trying to pass the time, you tried to envision Eurus which was difficult. All those deceptive things she did made you question your lineage. You were nervous for what you were about to do. Spying, solving cases, software, criminals - it was all in your blood, but you felt particularly nervous today. You hadn’t done anything like this before. Your mind went over to Mycroft. You decided that he wouldn’t be much help to this. Thinking about Sherlock and how you were on the same waters now comforted you. You leaned your head against the engine behind you. Your eyes closed, but your unconscious intuit didn’t subside.

---------------

You woke up from a quick doze, hitting your head on the engine you were against. The ship stopped, causing you to move forward.. You quickly stood up and walked up the sharp stairs. You had to be careful. You couldn’t be seen.

You opened the door and poked your head out, scanning your surroundings. Seeing that no one was nearby, you walked out and opened the main side door. No one was outside yet, which gave you time to run out. You sprinted across the sand and nudged your body on the side of a cliff, hidden. You took off your vest. You didn’t look at the prison in details, but you noticed the sad stone walls. The prison was on top of the mossy stretched cliff.

You peeped your eye out of your hiding and saw a man walking out of the ship. You didn’t see him before. He carried boxes and wheeled a larger box out. You knew they were all supplies. The man boarded back on the ship which started the journey back under watchful eyes from the security. You put half of your body out of the cliff and waited until a few men walked out to pick them up. They were security, but acted casually, now that the ship was out of sight. They walked up the steps. You sneaked up behind them and stepped to the side before they stepped in. After the last man walked inside, you grabbed the door handle right before it closed. You angled your body to reach the combination code pad. You squeezed it a certain way, just how you’ve done countless times before, which enabled it to open and reveal the colorful wires activating it. You stretched your body further to spark two wires. Immediately after doing so, red lights and a light buzzer began flashing and going off inside and outside. You opened the door and walked inside casually. A few security guards jogged down the hall. You walked past offices and an occasional guard, who paid no attention to anything except his cell phone. You maintained a confident posture and gaze. No one even saw you.

You didn’t know where Sherlock was, but by analyzing the design and structure of the building, you had an idea where Eurus’s cell was. You walked down the staircase and through the hallway. As you were walking down, a door slammed open immediately and out came Sherlock and Mycroft - Mycroft? A second later came John and a man with a suit. Sherlock noticed you first.

“Well done. I was getting worried. As soon as I heard the alarm, I knew.” He said. Sherlock was in a better mood. You knew he was alert. Highly alert. He was excited. It was as if he was almost built for this, and you as well. The red lights and alarm stopped.

“Mycroft? What are you doing here?” You asked, trying to maintain your composure. He wore a suit, directly coming from the London.

“I-.” He started.

“Enough with that. He had full intention to come here on his own to handle this situation by himself.” Sherlock said.

“You’re unbelievable. You don’t trust us. What would your plan be to get around this?”

“This is what I was trying to avoid. I am the government who is taking great care of those threats. How did you even get in?” Mycroft asked you, scoffing.

You rolled your eyes at him. “Do you not know anything about me? You always do this.”

Mycroft sighed and seemed sincere. “I’m sorry.”

Although Mycroft and you were different, you still shared similarities, and it wasn’t only blood. He was always tender to you and didn’t usually yell, like Sherlock. Mycroft never really treated you like mutual. You were still trying to find out why, possibly because you were merely his sister.

“There are memories.” You said.

“Blank ones. I’m aware. I’m sorry. Surely, you can try to understand why.” He replied, rubbing his temples.

“There are more important things to do. I know,” You added.

“I’m leaving.” Sherlock called out. You looked at Mycroft again, then ran up to Sherlock and followed him. He walked up the staircase and down the hallway, making a turn to the right. He opened a door which led to a blank room. Your heart began to beat faster. You knew what was through the other door. You beat him to it and swung the door open. There, in a glass wall was your sister, Eurus, playing a violin. You stood still, wrapping your head around her. Your mind naturally tried to analyze and inspect everything, but you couldn’t figure anything else out about her. Sherlock moved you aside and walked inside, next to you.

John came inside, but Mycroft wasn’t here. Eurus stopped playing and looked at everyone. She locked her eyes with you.

“Sister,” She said. “How much you’ve changed.” Her voice was soft. She possessed a kind demeanor, but underneath it, you sensed desperateness. Evilness. Intellect. Eurus looked at Sherlock.

“Hello, Eurus,” Sherlock said. Eurus’s expression didn’t change.

“Where is Mycroft?” She asked.

“Not here.” Sherlock said.

“No, silly. I know he’s here.” Eurus turned around and began walking in a circle.

Sherlock walked closer to the glass. “Eurus, what are your plans?”

Eurus walked closer. “Don’t you know them?”

“You’re with Moriarty. Why? What can you give him?” Sherlock asked. He thought hard. “I know about your plans with the government.”

Eurus looked at him. She wasn’t surprised. “It’s mutual. I gave him ideas.”

“Ideas?”

“Are you thinking about Redbeard?” Eurus asked. Sherlock didn’t say anything.

You were finally starting to understand everything. “You can give him something else.”

Eurus looked at you and smiled. You knew it all.

You walked out of the room and began running as soon as you entered the hallway and sprinted up another flight of steps. You passed by a glass office, covered by an entirety of glass walls and windows. The abyss of the ocean lay idle in your vision. There, you saw Mycroft sitting on a chair. You opened the door. He looked up at you, but didn’t say anything. Something’s wrong.

“What is it?” You asked. He didn’t look up. You walked closer to him and breathed hard when you saw what was on the floor. A man, recently shot, was dead. Blood poured from his stomach.

“What happened?” You asked him. Mycroft stayed silent. You put your hands on his shoulders and shook him. He looked up at you finally and stared you in the eyes. Then you knew.

Moriarty

You turned around. There he was. He wore a casual silver suit and had a glimmer in his eyes. He was confident, ready, excited. He stood by the door straight up. You scanned him without even moving your eyes. He had a gun, but he didn’t hold it.

“It’s so great to see you here!” He exclaimed. You didn’t say anything. Your mind moved quickly, planning your next move. You knew his intentions.

“I’ve finally outsmarted you.” He said.

You stood up and walked closer to him.

“(Y/N),” Mycroft said. You ignored him.

Moriarty adjusted his shoulders and stood up straighter. You kept eye contact with him.

“What are you going to do?” You asked him, trying to make him think you were ten steps behind.

“What would be the fun in giving that away?” He leaned closer to you, touching your neck.

You opened the door and walked out. Just like that. You knew he wouldn’t shoot you. He was enjoying this. You walked by an alarm and stopped. You opened the alarm case and sparked two wires, the same process you did earlier. You punched in a code. An alarm went off, fulfilling your next plan. You ran downstairs and walked into the room where Sherlock and Mycroft originally were. You knew there was a weapon somewhere. Emergencies. You looked up and down everywhere. You placed your hand under the table and smiled when you felt the cold metal, just where you thought it would be. You hid the gun in your waistline then walked into Eurus’s room. Sherlock rushed out, almost bumping into you, but stabilized you with his arms. A worried look spread across his face when he looked into yours. He didn’t have to ask you anything to know what was going on. He ran out with John.

You opened the door to see Eurus standing in the middle of the room. You knew what you had to do. Your mind was thinking. You acted fast and quick. No emotions played through you. You opened the glass door and entered her room.

“I never got to know you.” She said.

You pulled out your gun. She didn’t react when she saw it. You held the gun up at her.

“We were never similar,” you remarked. “I don’t want to know anything about you. I already know what I need.”

Eurus laughed at you. “You won’t win this. You do realize that?”

You shook your head. “I’ll win. I know that it comes with a sacrifice.”

She scoffed. “You give up that easily? You never did know how to think, did you?”

You walked closer to the glass and kept your gun to your side. “I know more than you think I do. You wouldn’t have a slight idea. Here you are, thinking you’re a mastermind. A perfect place to be, a prison, filling everyone with delusions. You call that winning?”

Eurus walked in another circle. “It’s working. Isn’t it? If you kill me, you’ve still lost.”

You opened the glass door and held your gun to the level of her head.

“You’re insane. Does it look like I need you? You think I do, but that’s great, cause I don’t.” You pulled the trigger, shooting her in the head. Instantly, a red dot formed and grew larger. Her lifeless body fell down immediately. Eurus underestimated you. Although you seemed more human, you weren’t. Your mind was full not even near capacity of concepts and secrets she wouldn’t be capable of attaining or understanding. She was confident you wouldn’t kill her. That’s where you outsmarted her. You knew where Moriarty’s was and his next move, but you were right before. Sacrifices had to be made. Just thinking about it caused your stomach to twist in knots.

You put the gun inside of your pants, on a hinge of your waistline and ran upstairs. You walked up the steps to see Sherlock standing away from Moriarty. Moriarty was saying something. Mycroft still sat down on the chair. John stood behind Sherlock. The alarm wasn’t on anymore.

Moriarty turned around to face you. “The gang’s all here!” He said cheerfully, pulling his gun out casually.

“Each one of you has ruined my chances of success and hadn’t even thought twice about it.” His voice shrilled. “That’s it.” He was right. We have. Delusional. You saw how Eurus messed with his head.

Moriarty walked around in a circle. “Who wants to die first? I have all the time in the world!”

“Moriarty!” John cried out. Sherlock placed an arm blocking him.

“Mycroft, stand up.” Moriarty demanded. Mycroft slowly stood up and walked out of the office, cautiously. You knew they didn’t know that Eurus was dead. You would shoot Moriarty now, but there wasn’t any more bullets left.

“I’ll save the best for last,” he said. Moriarty pointed his gun to John. Sherlock couldn’t do anything. Mycroft wouldn’t. John shrunk down in horror.

“You don’t have to do this,” John said. He was terrified. You couldn’t take a chance with your gun.

You knew your plan.

Sacrifices.

You were the smartest one to initiate the approach. John dying first would mess it up. Without any hesitation, you began running to Moriarty. You jumped up on him and tried to throw him on the ground. He overpowered you and swung you across himself hard, throwing you down on the cold floor. Your body ached, but this was the first step.

“Don’t do that again!” Moriarty screamed. You lied on the ground, motionless.

“She’s dead,” you said.

Moriarty looked at you, shocked. You were pleased. “What did you say?”

“She’s dead. Are you....slow?”

Moriarty gripped his gun tightly and pointed it to everyone. He grew angry and looked at you with pure resentment in his face. He fled down the stairs, not looking back. Sherlock ran to your side. John stood near you. Mycroft walked closer, but he began pacing.

“I have a gun.” You said.

Sherlock didn’t speak. He pulled it out of your waistline. He sighed.

“None left. It might help you”

“I’m lost, but I’m thinking,” Sherlock said.

“We’re all dying today,” Mycroft added.

“Sacrifices. You know what to do. You all do. Go,” you demanded.

Sherlock was puzzled. “Sacrifices? You can’t surely mean-.”

You rose your voice. “I know. I do. It will work. You know what to do. You have time, just go.” Your voice was soft, full of reality.

“Don’t talk like that,” Mycroft said.

“She’s right,” Sherlock added. Mycroft didn’t understand nor did John. It was as if you and Sherlock shared thoughts. He got up from your side and kissed your head before he left. He motioned the others to follow him. You leaned against the glass window. The waves smacked against the cliffs hard.

You heard quick foosteps up the stairs. Moriarty came up. Anger filled his eyes.

“You didn’t think I would do it.” You said.

“I don’t need her,” he replied. He tried to make himself believe that. Moriarty grabbed your neck, but only lightly squeezed it.

“I was saving the best for last,” he said. It was all working.

“If you kill me, what will you accomplish?” You asked, going along with your preset plan.

Moriarty chuckled. “You’ll find out.”

“Will I?” You stalled. You saw out of your eye, Sherlock’s shoes come into your vision. You didn’t look away. You stared into Moriarty’s eyes.

“You killed everyone here, for what? Eurus is dead. You want to kill us. Solid plan.”

He shook his head. “I don’t understand you. You were always there, silently judging me! You ruined me! It was never Sherlock, it was you! Justice for what?!” He screamed.

“You’re weak. You rely on others to do your work. You can’t even manipulate anyone, you’re so bad at it. You are an awful criminal.” You spoke nonchalantly which angered him even more. As much as you were scared, you felt brave.

Moriarty snarled, cocking the gun, the hot metal pressed against your skull.

“You’re no smarter than you sound.”

Here we go

You swore you could feel your heart rate spike as you saw Sherlock’s shoes moving quickly met your eyesight in the split second. He stood to the side of Moriarty, behind him, working efficiently. You felt he was far away, but trusted him. Silence passed but for a moment, a silent bomb ticking with each breath that exhaled. Finally, as if it were a fine orchestration, a man you knew all too well sprinted, his mass of curls wild as he bolted to you, not before the shot rung out, slamming you harder against the wall, aiming the gun away from your head. Your mind began to spin, pulling your hands away only to look at the crimson coating your hands. Your eyes fell on your stomach, now a pool of redness. Your life played in slow motion. You saw Sherlock’s body move through the air and slam Moriarty into the glass window, causing it to shatter in pieces. Your body began to fall backwards, but strong arms pulled you back up. As your body twisted in the moment, you saw Moriarty’s body fall through the opening. Your senses came back to you. Pain filled your mind.

“(Y/N)!” Sherlock screamed. You met his eyes. He was panicking.

You looked into his eyes. “We did it,” you said. The shock numbed your pain. Mycroft and John ran to your side. Their voices were all mixed together. You felt blissful. Your mind flooded with happiness and peace. Is this really death? You doubted it felt like this. You went in and out of your senses a few times. Sherlock picked your body up, your head was snudged in his elbow. He ran fast. The ceiling changed from glass to stone as he ran quickly. Rain droplets fell on you as he ran outside.

“Where’s the boat?” Sherlock cried out. His voice was scared and cracked. You couldn’t see Mycroft. “It’s supposed to be here!”

“Where is the helicopter?! You had precise instructions!” Mycroft’s voice boomed through the phone. Your vision began to blur. It was weird. You didn’t know how you felt about this. You had no control over your body. Memories from your childhood, high school, college rushed through you. Sherlock placed you on the ground and firmly pressed on your stomach. You felt John do the same.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Sherlock cried. You heard the others sob. You tried to say something, but you couldn’t. You were in bliss. You managed to move your hand and squeezed Sherlock’s jacket. He held your hands. Someone else hand your other; you couldn’t tell who. Everything happened so quickly. Memories of crimes, computers, spying, all came flooding back. Exciting times of your life - moments where you almost died, you remembered it all now.

“(Y/N)!”

Your vision started to turn bright white and by doing so, your body shifted through a trance of euphoria. You felt proud. Dying with dignity - it never sounded as good as it felt. You accomplished what you needed. You knew there had to be sacrifices. The whiteness grew brighter, almost as if it was blinding you. You felt welcomed as if you belonged here. Your body was gone, but your mind was undecided. You chose to stay in this state for a bit longer. You continued to hear your siblings cry for you. Sherlock slumped his body over you and hugged you tightly. In the distance, you heard a helicopter. You didn’t know how you were doing it. If you hadn’t been the person you were, you could never manipulate death.

All you felt was peace

Part 2? You’ll find out

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