Tumgik
#I only see a phd as another option
linguenuvolose · 6 months
Text
I applied for a new job today 😩
12 notes · View notes
mphountitled · 7 months
Text
𝙎𝙩𝙪𝙙𝙮 𝙂𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Jung Woo-Young x fem!reader
Being forced by his label to learn English fucking sucks but his tutor makes it just a little more bearable
Warnings: Wooyoung as his own warning, Language, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Idol x English!Teacher, Sapiosexual!Wooyoung, Slight!Jealousy, Academia Talk, Humor, Teasing, Smut (+18), heavy make out sesh, Slight Pervy!Wooyoung, Whimpering!Wooyoung, Dirty Talk, Degradation Kink, Praise Kink, Dry Humping, Grinding, Brattiness, Self Degradation, Neediness, Slight Dub/CON, Dom/Sub undertones
Ft. Wooyoung and his canonical degradation kink
Tumblr media
"What you need to understand is that Shakespeare used a significant amount of his time cautioning his audience against the perils of this mortal coil." Despite your vexation warming the pits of your stomach, you're thankful that your voice does not relay how utterly irritated you actually are. Your back is straight, giving nothing away of your exhaustion as you point to your copy of a Literature textbook.
"So, maybe I should've initially explained that the biggest theme of this sonnet is grief," you explain, drearily, letting your fingers knot into your curls as you soldier on through the text.
You could almost hear your coworkers discrediting you right now. How could one manage to hit the holy grail in getting chosen to tutor a bunch of stars and utterly fail at it in the process? Your PhD is mourning her sorrows.
"That is bad tutoring on my part, I apologise, Mr Jung, Sir," it is virtually impossible to bend into a full on bow in your current position on the chair adjacent to his bed so you settle for a quick nod of the head while skilfully avoiding eye contact.
"That's okay," Wooyoung lazily waves a hand in front of his face, "I just nearly threw up from hearing you call me 'Mr Jung'. Girl, I cried during Frozen 1 and 2... I am not the one you should be calling Mr Jung."
His ears visibly perk up just a little higher at the sound of your unprofessional, slightly airy chuckle. It has him practically scrounging for the need to hear you laugh like that again, to see your head be thrown back in a careless guffaw that only he is able to see.
But the moment ends as quickly as it began and you're visibly punishing yourself for your unprofessionalism by assuming your stoic academic role demeanour more.
"I think Mr Jung might be a little bit more professional." You finally look up at the boy sitting lazily against the headboard of his impressive king sized bed. Out of all the members you taught, you had only ever been permitted to see the inside of Wooyoung's bedroom - under the guise that he simply cannot function by being forced to sit on uncomfortable dining room chairs.
You sit opposite the bed, on a chair, to maintain some semblance of your dwindling professionalism,
"Mr Jung is so boring though!" He exclaims, throwing his head backwards and letting it sink into his mountain of fluffy pillows, "Wooyoung is completely fine! Or perhaps Baby. Or even Sexiest Man You've Ever Had The Pleasure Of Seeing," his lips curl into a smirk, "Your choice."
The text book is long forgotten amongst the dispersed sheets as Wooyoung glances up at you from his perch against his pillows. Of all the members, Wooyoung is also especially difficult to work with, not in any academic capacity, just in the sense that his advances are endless. And whether he actually means it - whether that twinkle in his eye accompanied by that cheeky grin was really real, or just endless teasing due to his innate flirtatious design. You might never really know.
"I can't in good conscious refer to you by that last option." You reply with a light shrug before crossing your legs in front of you, "I've met Choi San, and I'm not in the business of lying to you,"
"Oh! That's how we're gonna play now!? You're just gonna bring up another man in my presence? I thought the relationship we had was something special?"
"I'm an underpaid, mediocre teacher," You forget yourself and snort through a chuckle, "I have no time to forge special relationships."
He is stunned and slightly turned on by your cool commitment to the banter, not expecting you to hit back with such a quick jest.
As Wooyoung watches you from behind the few loose strands framing his face, his long hair loose, he realises he enjoys associating you with that forbidden word, even if it is just in his head.
Relationship.
"I'm not really into that negative self-talk." He says, watching you intently, "You're a good teacher."
"You're just saying that," You swat at the air in front of you, before burying your chin into your chest - that shy streak of yours rearing its head. He noticed that every sliver of a compliment led you to the involuntary need to disappear and Wooyoung wanted to correct that as best as he could.
"I say some stuff sometimes to make people feel better, yes," you finally look up at him from your scattered notes. His eyes are characteristically bright and his glistening lips are pulled into a small smile, "But this is not one of those times," He forces out, fighting against a familiar warmth pooling in the depths of his stomach.
"Right," you clear your throat, before assuming the role of tutor once again, "So… Sonnet 71 -"
In your periphery, Wooyoung raises his hand. Without looking up from your notes you reply, 'I know what you're gonna ask, Wooyoung but no, unfortunately you cannot refer to it as 'Sonnet 71'. Not many people care nowadays but the ones that do, want you to refer to the poem by its full title: 'No Longer Mourn For Me When I Am Dead.'" there's a bravado that graces your tone as you settle into your tutelage. It allows you to assume an almost elevated role as your eyes scan the text while simultaneously stringing a web of tantalising words together.
Wooyoung tries to focus on exactly what it is you're actually saying, he really does, but soon, you're stifling a quiet yawn before stretching your left arm over your head. He does not believe you intended for your breasts to push up from the low dip of your v neck, but that's exactly what happens and that pool of lava that has been welling in his stomach slowly rushes to his cock. Needless to say, Wooyoung slyly grabs the textbook onto his lap.
"So Shakespeare's great caution is that of grief. It's okay to mourn your loved ones but not to mourn them in routine, because that then can become a second death, equally as detrimental. Are you listening, Wooyoung?" his head snaps up from your chest, to the sound of the light scolding in your voice and he can instantly conclude that he is hard. He's not sure why, but your tone has his resolve weakening, and his head spiralling further into a fog.
"Please tell me, you're listening, Wooyoung. This is very important," He nods slowly with his shoulders hunched, and his eyebrows curved into crescents. He did not trust himself to speak, not when your words had him imagining you scolding him petulantly while he plowed into you from behind. Screaming at him to stop being so bad while he forced his hard cock deeper and deeper. He can vividly imagine your tight walls gripping his cock like a fucking vice while his fingers squeezed your nipples until they ached.
"Look, Wooyoung, I've been trying to be nice but it's been 3 hours and we're still on the first sonnet," he stopped his head from nodding profusely at the degradation that wants to seep into your tone while he watches you with darkened eyes. His fingers curl slowly into the ends of the open book on his lap, as he pushes his textbook into his lap. "We've done this long enough, Wooyoung," you continue with your ample chest beginning to rise and fall and the first signs of your bra strap, peeling from underneath your top. "You should know this, Wooyoung"
"Fuck," He involuntary groans, while he moves his textbook slightly, enough to create friction but not nearly enough to achieve the friction he actually desires. Before he gets completely ahead of himself, he stills his movements, opting to distract himself by speaking, instead.
"O-okay but if this is a poem about grief, why the hell am I seeing him talk about summer."
"Summer?"
Wooyoung nods, humming. "This man is talking about summer," he says, pointing to the book on his lap.
"Wooyoung…" You instinctively get up from your perch on your chair, advancing on him. Wooyoung visibly swallows as you plop yourself next to him, shoulder to shoulder as you peer over into the book on his lap. While your eyes frantically scan the printed ink, Wooyoung watches you from the side, trying to pen your face to memory, especially from having you so close.
"Wooyoung, this isn't the right poem!"
He watches you with slightly hooded eyes, completely unaware to anything outside of the tone of your voice
"It isn't?" He shakes his head, agreeing instantly with your scolding but not really hearing what you're saying. His words are slurred and his tone is distracted.
"Oh my gosh- you've completely missed the entire poem."
"I have?"
"Jesus, you haven't been listening to me, have you-"
He's already shaking his head as he leans in, muttering a quiet, "I haven't," as the tips of his fingers find the underside of your chin and drags you towards him. Dazed.
You're utterly dazed as soon as your lips connect with his. Somehow, the entire concept of space and time and everything in between seems utterly useless, the words on the page seem frivolous and everything outside of this moment feels like it shouldn't have the right to exist. He is kissing you and soon you are kissing him back, filling the boy with an unprecedented sense of elation at having his attraction to you validated. He is so elated in fact, he pushes off his text book and, without breaking the kiss, manoeuvres you onto his lap instead.
You're gasping into his mouth as soon as you feel his bulge connect with your core, "I know, I know, I'm sorry," He murmurs drunkenly into your kiss, taking the time to push his tongue into your mouth and brush up desperately against yours. The tone of his voice steals all composure, and soon you're pushing against him, rushed and hurried, like a raging fire before the embers set. You and Wooyoung are absolutely unstoppable as his hands travel up and down the sides of your body, hungrily searching for any sliver of skin, needing to feel your body heat searing into him.
The very moment your hands slither into his thick, grown-out hair, he is utterly done for, bucking into your hips until his bulge was brushing hungrily against your core. A torrid moan espaces your throat when Wooyoung dips into the crook of your neck, nuzzling into the softness of your skin and the comfort of your perfume while hands travel down your hips, urging you to move in tandem with him.
"So good," He mumbles against your skin, "You feel so good, baby." But your mind is flooded with a tempest of conflicting feelings and emotions as you pull lightly on his strands and follow along with his movements.
"Wooyoung…" you're panting breathlessly, suddenly painfully aware of how much your body responded to him.
"God, I love it when you say my name," He slurs as he continues to push up into you, finally settling into a needy but effective flow of movements.
Your panties are utterly soaked underneath your silk maxi skirt as the boy below you splays wet, lascivious kisses along your collar bones. Once he sees you're moving in tandem with how he needs you to, he releases one hand on your hip to paw desperately at your breasts.
"You've been-" your head is spinning as you try to formulate your sentence, "You've been sitting here with a hard on, my entire lesson?" Your words only spur his movements as Wooyoung clamps down around your torso, pushing you further down against his cock. "Fuck!" He screeches almost involuntarily at the delicious friction created by the heightened speed.
"So bad…" He murmurs drunkenly, as he begins to push up against your clit in a dangerous display of desperation, "I.. b-been so bad- m'sorry," Your head is thrown back into a moan stuck deep in your throat as you listen to the boy's needy whines, "m'so sorry, you're just so pretty," your hops move faster against his, not quite sure if this is a dream and too freaking terrified to find out as you hunt down the remnants of your oncoming orgasm.
"Wooyoung- you're gonna m-make me-"
Your hips are utterly restless against his, as you begin to grind down with immense passion. Wooyoung's head is spinning with the inevitability of making you cum. All he wants to do is make you happy. Think of how proud you'd be if he made you cum without even touching you really. You'd be so freaking happy you might just let him slide his cock inside your wet, slippery folds...
"O-Oh God, fuck- I'm cumming!" His hips rut erratically against yours, pushing agaisnt your clit until you're sent hurtling into your own orgasm. You're both moaning, whimpering messes as you grind against each other, Wooyoung clutching against your torso, with his head buried in your chest as your fingers pull mindlessly at his hair. He is in utter heaven, surrounded by the softness of your curves, with his head against the roundness of your chest. There is nothing better than this. Everything else is secondary.
"Fuck, I hate Shakespeare's but I'll read a 1000 of his poems if it means I get to do that again," he is the first to speak amongst your ragged, loud breathing.
"Wooyoung?"
"Hm?"
"Shakespeare only wrote 154 poems,"
1K notes · View notes
gunsandspaceships · 6 days
Text
FAQ
I see this post is needed.
What is the purpose of this blog?
Analysis of the MCU and its characters, with a main focus on Tony Stark. Why? Because he is the most misunderstood character in the MCU. Sometimes I write/reblog about Comics versions too. This is not a "pure fun" blog, it's a meta blog about a fictional universe. I use sources, facts, educated guesses, all that scientific stuff.
Are fandoms just for "pure fun"?
No, they are for people. People like different things, not just "fun" ones.
"Fun" varies from person to person. My fun is science.
Are Comics Universes and characters the same as the MCU and its characters?
No, they are not. See this post and this one. Examples from different comics universes: 1610 Tony had a "tumor" in his brain, which was actually an Infinity Stone. 616 Tony never had tumors or Infinity Stones in his brain. 9810 and TRN591 Tonys are Sorcerers Supreme, while 616 or MCU Tonys are not. 1610 Nick Fury is African American. 616 Fury is white. I can go on forever.
Does Comics Canon apply to the MCU?
No (see previous question), unless the traits shown in the MCU are the same as in the Comics. Example, Tony Stark has 3-7 PhDs in 616 Universe, but in the MCU he has 2 (see this post). Another example: Steve Rogers had a smoking habit in the comics, but in the MCU he doesn't smoke.
MCU canon is canon only for the MCU. 616 canon is canon only for 616 Universe. 1610 canon only canon for 1610 Universe. The canon of your favorite fanfic is the canon of that fanfic, etc.
Am I anti-Steve?
No, I am not. Do I criticize him? Yes, when there is something to criticize for. The same applies to any other character: Rhodey, Pepper, Wanda, etc. It is science. Deal with it.
Do I hate anyone?
No, I don't feel hate. Can get angry and annoyed though. In this case - sorry if I bite you.
Do I ship Tony with anyone?
I ship Tony with Happiness. If he is happy with Pepper - great. If he is happy with Steve - I ship it. If he is happy with Stephen - I ship it too, and so on. But if they hurt him - I don't like it. Do you expect me to like it? What would be weird. The ideal option is when everyone is happy, loves and cares about each other.
How to react if I wrote a comment on your post/reblog of my post?
If you're open to discussion, great, that's what comments are for. If you are overly sensitive, can't stand other people's opinions, or deliberately ignore the facts, then it is your right to ignore my comments. And it is my right to write them. Remember that. It is called "communication", and that's what Tumblr and other social networks are for. If you cannot communicate with other people - talk to yourself.
Will I come to your post to write a comment about how wrong you are?
Am I so terrifying? If I see something is wrong, like 2+2 is stated as 5, and not 4, I will probably tell you about it. But I don't do it for headcanons. Headcanon is your HEADcanon. You can have any headcanon you want. It is your right 100%. But if your statement about CANON is incorrect and I can prove it - I can come to you. Remember, it is my right to do so.
Examples:
You have a headcanon that MCU Tony is of Italian descent. I will not correct you because the MCU never mentions what his origin is.
You stated that MCU Tony has a drinking problem. I will come to correct you, because this is not true and I proved it here.
If you said 616 Tony has a drinking problem, I will not correct you because it's true.
You said that in fanfic N a kitten was saved by Clint, but it was actually Natasha. If I read that fanfic, I will come to correct you.
I think it's fair.
Do you have any questions?
Ask anything - my doors are always open. And I don't block people if I don't like what they say.
13 notes · View notes
mbti-notes · 3 days
Text
Anon wrote: ISFP, asexual, beginning a 5-year PhD in a a conservative state. I’ve noticed grad students in the program like to bond over dating/guys (the cohort is mostly women in their 20s). Although my love life is technically none of their business, at every place I’ve worked, people have asked if I’m seeing anyone, what my taste is guys is, etc. I usually “play along” with assumptions that I’m straight and give the sort of answers people seemed to be looking for. But 5 years seems like a long time to fake such a fundamental part of myself. I think I’ll end up having to go against the grain one way or another.
Many people don’t know about asexuality, so not only would I risk people’s prejudice, at minimum I’d probably have to play “educator” about my identity. I’m trying to decide whether to a) clearly communicate that I won’t discuss my dating life with my cohort and then keep enforcing that boundary (which will be hard because I do want to bond with people in the program), b) just say I’m not interested in dating or that I’m “not inclined that way” (although in my experience, that doesn’t deter people from further prying), or c) be honest and open about my identity if anyone asks (but then have to “explain myself” to people)
-----------------------
It is unfair, tough, and taxing to feel as though you have to hide or suppress such an important aspect of yourself. I do find that it helps to think of it as just one aspect of oneself rather than one's entire identity. The fact of the matter is that people don't know every aspect of each other unless they are in a very close and intimate relationship.
The kind of conversations you're referring to are classified as "small talk". People use small talk as a way to subtly feel out if a deeper relationship is possible, which means it doesn't have to be any more serious than discussing the weather. You get to control exactly how near or far you want to be from people by choosing to respond or not respond to their small talk seriously. Perhaps you're taking it more seriously than is necessary because it's a sensitive topic for you?
Option 1: Limit the truth because it's none of their business. If other people want to assume, then it's their problem, not yours. Speaking from my own experience, unless the person is an outright bigot, I often find it extremely funny rather than offensive when they reveal how ignorant they are through their assumptions about me. Once again, you can choose the degree to which you take such things seriously, which is easier to do when you feel secure in your identity.
I don't think you need to be a hard-ass about it, as you won't make many friends that way. Setting a hard and solid boundary out of the blue or without provocation often leads people to think something's "wrong" with you, which isn't ideal.
I think the issue here is what you call "being fake" or "playing along". I don't really see it that way. I think it's quite possible to be private without being inauthentic. When you're a good communicator, it isn't necessary to lie. There are a million ways to say something without saying it directly. Perhaps your thinking on the matter is too black-and-white if you're framing it as "honesty" vs "lying". Socializing successfully requires more nuance than that.
Yes, you could say it's private business, in a friendly way. There's nothing morally wrong with being a shy or private person, is there? Or you could say... Relationships aren't your priority right now... It's not something you care much about... You haven't met anyone you feel that way about... You haven't really thought about it... You care much more about <fill in the blank>...
None of those statements are lies and they are honest enough that a savvy person might even grasp the subtext. For the less savvy, yes, they might ask further questions, but they'll eventually stop once it becomes obvious that you have little to contribute on the matter. And if someone does press too hard, take it as a helpful sign that they should be avoided.
Although, you shouldn't assume that people are "prying" just for asking questions. It might appear to be prying when you're standing in the perspective of having a secret to keep, but, to them, it's merely curiosity. Curiosity is necessary for furthering relationships, otherwise, how would we get to know each other? Maybe you can learn to take people's curiosity in stride? For example, sometimes a bit of humor works better than a hard boundary.
Option 2: Be open because it shouldn't be a big deal. Do you derive pleasure from challenging people's ignorance and prejudice? There is something to be said for standing up, being visible, getting counted, and providing representation as a minority. You could help advance people's awareness and acceptance. However, if you don't want to be a crusader, what's your reason for being open?
You say you're ISFP, so you presumably think it's important to be yourself and freely express who you are? I agree that this is an important value to hold and uphold. Unfortunately, freedom of expression doesn't mean you are free from consequences. Being a person of integrity isn't always easy since upholding your values can bring undesirable consequences. The logical consequence of expressing yourself freely is that your business becomes other people's business if they take an interest in what you're expressing. The question is: Is this a price you're willing to pay, or is it a price you believe is worth paying?
Option 3: Be selective. There is a third option, which is to only come out to the individuals you trust. Perhaps this middle ground would be more comfortable for you? You won't have to "educate" and "explain" to everyone and face public scrutiny. You'll get to express who you are in a way that's satisfying enough. Of course, the tough part is exercising good judgment about who to trust. It's important to remember that there are good/accepting and bad/prejudiced people everywhere, regardless of whether the place is conservative or liberal leaning.
It is entirely your prerogative as to what aspects of yourself to reveal to others. This is why it's not my place to tell you whether to reveal or not. I can only tell you to weigh the options thoroughly and make the decision that you can best live with.
8 notes · View notes
ninadove · 5 months
Note
i can’t pick a snippet but whatever meta you want from sometimes it’s worth it all to risk the fall! and good morning, nina! 💗🦚
Good morning Noctie! 🌅
Yes, let’s talk about the sword-fighting fic while I procrastinate writing another fight scene.
Ask game here!
One thing about me is that I absolutely love short stories with a twist ending. Give me a reveal in the last few lines that reframes the entire work in a brand new light, and I will be giggling and kicking my feet uncontrollably.
Sometimes It’s Worth It All is my attempt at recreating this kind of narrative. And, of course, the twist comes from Felix.
By the time he enters the fray, Kagami is exhausted from twenty-four hours of fighting for her life… But also from months of watching her world crumble around her following her mother’s murder. She’s accepted that she spent her entire life tangled in an elaborate web of lies, and that she alone can see through the deception.
But… That’s not entirely true, is it. Like many abuse survivors, even as the fog progressively lifts from her eyes, she’s still held back by a few persistent convictions:
Tumblr media
Before he even gets a chance to speak, Felix is introduced as a monster, and well. It doesn’t help that he’s been sent to kill her, does it. Yet, as soon as he opens his mouth, he warns her against her own prejudice:
Tumblr media
In canon, too, Felix is constantly navigating others’ perception of him and proving them wrong. He’s a Sentibeing lost in a world that wants him dead, but also just a regular child; he has a PhD in identity theft; he’s a manipulative little bitch, but is constantly searching for the truth; he masqueraded as a hero, only to become one on his own terms.
But in the context of this fic — Kagami hasn’t seen season 5! She doesn’t know the themes! And so, her natural instinct is to believe he is trying to tear her newfound rebellious spirit to the ground before ultimately getting rid of her, 1984 style:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
If Felix was genuinely trying to torture her, it would be easy for him to land a blow on an already exhausted target, to accompany his little rant with actual physical pain. Instead, he is careful to stay out of range of her blade, but never strikes back (Get it? Strikeback?), except to disarm her when she pierces through his fan.
What he’s actually doing here is trying to uncover who she is as a person, and pushing back against the wonky convictions she still has left.
Tumblr media
Which of course culminates with the realisation that she is, in fact, just like him, and the decision to commit treason for her:
Tumblr media
Because of course he would. As much as I leaned into Felix’s moral ambiguity earlier in the fic, this is the only option that makes sense for his character: he’s willing to put everything and everyone at risk to rescue his kind.
Tumblr media
The broken fan is, of course, an allusion to Pretension, and how easily Felix rearranged his entire moral compass to stand by her side. In every universe, Kagami is his priority: he’s always going to choose her, whether it means abandoning the fight of his life or starting what is absolutely going to turn into a civil war.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Kagami has never been shown mercy in her life before, much less this level of insane devotion. From the moment he chooses to spare her, her worldview shifts entirely, and this is of course most visible in the way she refers to him: abandoning his title to call him by his name, and even catching a hint of Argos magenta in his eyes.
Tumblr media
They see each other now. Everything is going to be OK.
13 notes · View notes
she-is-ovarit · 11 months
Text
There are currently polls being done on Ovarit, so I thought it would be fun to compare to here. Please only vote for the highest level of education you have completed:
First poll (n=347)
Second poll (ongoing - includes trades and is what I roughly copied and pasted the wording for this poll from). If you have an Ovarit account, this poll was just made so you can vote if you'd like.
I'll add the same disclaimer/acknowledgement/apology that is posted on Ovarit: this is an Americanized poll. If you're from another country and know the equivalent, please feel free to vote, as I understand terminology can be different. I apologize that certain degrees or terms from other countries aren't considered - it's difficult to fit it all in under 10 options and with a character limit.
Lastly, if you have another form of education not listed, please feel free to respond in the tags.
41 notes · View notes
mischiefmanaged71 · 2 years
Text
The Love Hypothesis (11/22) - Stephen Strange x Reader
Tumblr media
Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is a PhD student who wants to prove to her best friend that she has moved on and dating. With no way to prove it, she kisses the first man she sees, which ends up being none other than Dr. Strange, known as one of the most unapproachable and critical professors in the university.
A/N: AU! Stephen Strange is a Professor/Doctor at Columbia University and reader is a Ph.D. student (Reader - 28, Stephen - 34). Credits to Ali Hazelwood for the original story. This work is a piece of fiction. I have no ownership over anything, this is ff. The playlist is SS - The Love Hypothesis (Spotify)
Pairing: Stephen Strange X FEM! Reader
Word Count: 3.3K
Series Masterlist
Scratching off another task from her checklist, Y/N exhaled deeply. Despite having completed her work for the week, she had yet to find a place to stay the weekend of the conference. All of the hotels nearby were booked, the only available ones being half-an hour away from the SBD conference. It wouldn’t exactly be feasible waking up extra early to catch an Uber before everyone woke up.
Y/N groaned, leaning against her closed fist. A shadow came over her and she looked over. Surprise lit up her features.
“Stephen.” she paused, surprised to see him back so soon. You’re back.”
“I am.” he met her eyes. Y/N hadn’t forgotten his voice, or the warmth his presence brought. She wondered why the thought arose, it having only been a few days since she last saw him. The time moved too fast and she soon found herself memorising the pieces that made up his face.
“We got in this morning.” he sat across from her.
“Don’t you have classes to prepare for?” she leaned forward.
He wore a half smile, “Trying to get rid of me already? Its only been a minute.” he tilted the watch on his wrist, bringing her gaze to it.
She opened and closed her mouth, narrowing her eyes at him. He was teasing her and bringing out that light-relaxed nature with a moment’s notice. It was easy and comfortable. “You know what...” she dared, her smile falling to a sigh as she shut the notebook.
“What’s got you down?”
“What makes you think that there’s something wrong?”
“Well, slumping over a notebook with a forced smile makes me think there’s something bothering you.” he deduced. Her face flushed at the ease at which he read her behaviour.
Y/N cocked her head, glancing at the side. She straightened her posture and clasped her hands on the table, brushing Stephen’s accidentally. He didn’t jump but he glanced down at the contact.
“Okay.” she relented, “I’ve been looking for accommodation for the conference and there’s nothing. My options are sleeping on the floor or paying a fortune for a box 4 miles away.”
“What about your friends?”
“They booked without me.”
“Why would they do that?”
“Well-” she paused, “They kind of assumed I’d be staying with you, since...”
His eyebrows perked up, “Oh,”
“Yeah, I know.” she shrugged.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. They just assumed. I’m considering booking this motel one hour away. It isn’t too pricey either-”
Stephen cut her off, “Why don’t you just stay with me?”
The suggestion caused her to freeze, gaping at him. She realised how she would look and shut her mouth, pausing to allow Stephen time to realise and correct himself. Maybe she heard him incorrectly. 
“What?” was all she could muster.
“Stay with me. Won’t your friends notice if you are staying somewhere else?”
She sucked in a breath. He had a point there. But it was a terrible idea. There was no way they could room together. There were too many things to consider, including the fact of the beds. She would bet her money that there would end up only being one bed. 
“I couldn’t.”
“Why not?” he asked in a calm tone.
“I just couldn’t.” she laughed nervously.
“The room is a double.”
“It won’t matter.” she relented, “It’s not a good idea. People already think...”
“They already do.” 
“But...”
“But?”
She stared at him, unsure of what answer to give him. There wasn’t exactly another reason she could possibly give. She was out of options and he was offering a room. She sent a tight lipped smile, shrugging.
“I have the room for the entire conference, but I’ll need to leave for some meetings after night two, so you’d be on your own on night three. We’d only overlap on night two.”
“I’m just not so sure its a good idea.” 
“Yeah, I just don’t understand why.” 
Because I can’t possibly deal with the fact your in front of me and I can’t stop thinking about you all the time. The idea of being alone with you will probably make it worse and I don’t know if I can deal with that. Because, I’m thinking about how close the twenty-ninth is and I’ve been trying so hard to forget it’s going to be over soon.
“What? Are you afraid I’m going to try and kiss you without your consent? Or sit on your lap? How about fondle you under the pretext of sun-protection-”
She leaned across the table and tried her hardest to slap him upside the head. Stephen instead caught her wrist in a loose hold, stumping Y/N as she stared at him. He studied her eyes before setting her wrist down. She slowly retracted, remembering to breathe. 
“You’re really annoying, you know that?” 
“I know.” he nodded, although, a little too smugly. His smirk was unnerving to her in the way her heart raced in her chest. Or was it beating that way because of the way he continued to study her face with a soft look she rarely saw.
“I’m never live gonna live any of that down.”
“Nope. If you do, I’ll be fairly surprised if there isn’t more to follow.”
Her eyebrows perked up as she pointed her finger at him in challenge. He let out a breathy laugh at how easy it was to rile her up, smiling at her.
“I can ask Hayden to stay with him, leave you my room. But they know I already have one, so I’d need an excuse.”
Y/N shook her head, “I’m not going to force you out of your room. I’m warning you now, you’d hate rooming with me.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, you seem like...”
Stephen seemed like he didn’t care for what others thought of him. He was strong and equally stubborn when it came to it. He seemed like the type of person to be there when you needed him most. And that made her stomach turn with the prospect of him discovering her feelings. Unrequited feelings were a dangerous game. And she had dived straight into a problem that was seeming to grow worse with each day.
“Y/N. I think it’ll be fine. You’re overthinking it.” he rested his hand on the table, a finger’s gap next to her own hand. “It’s just one night.” 
He gulped down the lump in his throat, “We’re friends right?”
“Yeah.”
“Then as a friend, do me a favour and take the empty bed in my room. It’d make me feel better that you’re not staying by yourself or on a floor mattress.”
“Are you sure?”
Stephen nodded.
“Okay.” she smiled, “Thank you.”
A comfortable silence settled and she sought for something to discuss.
“My abstract was accepted as talk.”
“Faculty panel?”
“Yeah.” she seemed glum.
“I assume you’re not happy?”
“I’m ecstatic.” she forced a smile, rubbing her face, “I hate public speaking with a passion.”
“Why?”
“It’ll be awful. I’ll fumble or embarrass myself. Bottom line, not the criteria for success putting me on a stage.”
“When I was in grad school, my advisor sent me in his stead to give a faculty symposium. With two days and no prep.”
“Wow.” she winced, “Why’d he do that?”
“No idea.” he tilted his head back, “Probably had an emergency. Thought it would be a formative experience.”
“Was it?”
“As much as anything that keeps you awake for forty-eight hours.”
“And...how did you do?”
He paused, “Not well enough.”
Her smile faltered. It didn’t seem right for someone so accomplished to speak about themselves in that way. “Nothing was ever good enough.”
“Do you still keep in contact your old adviser?”
“He retired, but Tom took over his lab.”
“And...” she trailed off
“My relationship with him was complicated-brutal. My adviser was brutal.” 
She was taken aback. Y/N was trying to understand him, but it was difficult when he looked like he travelled off somewhere far that she couldn’t go. 
“Sounds familiar.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, sounds kind of like how some of the students describe you.”
“I’m nothing like him.” his voice was adamant.
Y/N glanced at his clenched jaw, a tense posture settling in “I-Stephen-”
“Everyone has issues with their advisers. They don’t teach you how to mentor. We’re in charge of guiding and making sure students produce their best work. I hold high standards for them to meet their goals. If my students are afraid of me, I’m okay with that.”
Y/N tilted her head, “Do you really not care if people like you as a person?”
“It’s not my job to be likeable. And I don’t like them all that much, either.”
“Yeah, but-” she thought, “Okay. Am I one of those people?”
He looked at her, “No. No you’re not.” 
“You are a smart-ass with excellent taste in coffee and snacks.” he smiled, “I’ll help you with your slides. Send them to me.”
“What?”
“I’ll take a look at them for you.”
“You don’t have to do that.” she continued.
“I want to, if it’ll help.”
“Okay. How likely am I going to be crying by the end?”
“Depends on the quality of your slides.”
“Don’t hold back, I guess.”
“I won’t.” he hummed.
A beat passed between them, “Would you come to the talk?”
He paused, “Would you want me to?”
“Yes.” 
“I will.” he nodded.
“Okay.” she breathed, eyes brighter.
***
Natasha pressed the clip into Y/N’s hair, clasping the hair back as she looked into the mirror. She smiled warmly at her friend.
“You look beautiful.” Natasha beamed, “Jaw-dropped on the floor, gorgeous. Stephen won’t be able to take his eyes off of you."
She felt herself restrain from smiling at the mention of his name, looking over the dress she picked from her closet. The (colour) complimented her skin nicely and fitted to her body. She did her own makeup, Natasha assisting with hair in her own dorm.
She nervously pressed the creases down with her hands. The thought of dancing, being in close proximity to him again. It wasn’t even the public setting where anyone could see her mess up, make a fool of herself. More so to do with the bachelor who’s opinion she cared about. She felt Natasha’s hands stop. 
“Hey. What’s wrong?” Natasha touched her shoulder.
“Nothing.” she smiled, “I’m just a bit nervous about dancing.”
“It’ll be fine. Don’t think too much about it.” she smiled, “It’ll be fun. This is the first formal event we’re all going to together. And hey, we both have dates. Isn’t that great?”
Y/N smiled warmly, nodding her head “Yeah, it is.”
Natasha shared a smile with her, dismissing her friend’s behaviour as nerves. 
“You truly look beautiful. Strange won’t be able to take his hands off you.”
“Natasha-”
“What?” she raised her hands, “If he doesn’t appreciate this, then he’s doing something wrong.”
Y/N swatted her hands, laughing shyly at the notion. “When is Sam getting here?”
A knock at the door interrupted, the both of them looking up at the sound.
“Guess that’s him.”
Natasha walked over to the door, her heels clicking against the floor. “You’re here.”
“I’m great, how are you?” Sam replied, walking through the door in his own black suit, tie done up nicely. “You look nice, Nat.”
“Thank you.”
He looked over to the table where Y/N sat, turning from the mirror to greet them. “Wow.”
Y/N smiled shyly, “Is that good?”
“Yeah.” he nodded with a smile, “It’s good. You look great. Strange is a lucky man.”
“Shall we?” she nodded to the door.
Sam extended his arm to her as she grasped it. A second knock at the door and Natasha greeted Steve. 
“You look incredible, Nat.” 
“Thank you, I spent a lot of time getting ready for this. Lets go.”
***
Entering through the doors, Sam gently tugged her through the hall of the building. The venue was a beautiful museum they had rented for the event, elegantly decorated for the evening. Her eyes traced the well-dressed people and the waiters serving champagne on trays. 
“I’d say we’re dressed for the occasion.”
“Would you?” she chuckled.
“Let’s see how long you can keep those heels on.” he replied, knowing how they hurt her feet.
“I will be pushing through to the end of the night.” 
Sam’s eyes locked onto a figure in the near distance, halting in his step around the room. “Found your lover boy.”
She did a double take, following his gaze to spot Stephen standing next to Hayden. They both wore black suit and tie for attire, but her attention was evidently enraptured with him. He fit right in, yet he stood out all the same from the crowd. At least, from her perspective.
Hayden looked up, catching her gaze and subtly pointed in their direction. Stephen followed, head darting over and he paused in recognition. His eyes softened, gazing over her entire person and the dress she wore. She smiled shyly and nodded slightly before Sam allowed her to walk over. 
Stephen moved to meet her halfway as they crept toward the dance floor. She took smaller steps, a few feet between her and Stephen before her foot slipped. Her heart dropped to the floor, clenching her eyes shut, but something caught her. 
Y/N opened her eyes and glanced up. Stephen’s arms were holding up, her hands placed on his chest again. “Hi.”
“Hi.” he smiled, “So was outside the biology building practice for this moment?”
She sighed, closing her eyes in embarrassment, “No. No it wasn’t. You know that.”
“Do I?” he teased, his hands moving down to her elbows. His touch sent shivers along her exposed skin as she looked up at him. Lost in the cerulean blue of his eyes, she held her breath for a moment. He drank in the vision of her beauty, enhanced by the makeup.
“You look beautiful.” he whispered, his hand brushing the hair from her face.
“Thank you." her words but a whisper that he could just hear, but she was otherwise absorbed in him. The room moving around them was not important, fluttering into the background.
"You look..." she exhaled, stumbling for words, "very handsome."
He smiled at her flustered state, "Thank you."
“Would you like to dance?”
She nodded silently and he moved the placement of her hands into his. They were already on the dance floor. It was just a matter of putting it into action, as they took a turn around the room. 
Y/N could feel her heart fluttering in her chest, the beat of the music fluttering around as she desperately tried to focus on not stepping on Stephen’s feet. He led forward two steps, back one and again. All while, she kept her eyes on his. She wasn’t sure if Sam was watching, but she was sure the look on her face displayed of her feelings. The mellow tones and drum of the song sang around them, but Y/N found herself lost in his embrace. It wasn’t difficult to rush back into it all, each and every time. 
"What's on your mind?" She asked.
“Where do you see yourself after this?”
With the confused look, he clarified “After this is all over. ‘Fake-dating’.”
“I guess, finishing my work.” she pondered, the warmth of her hand clutching his. The weight of his hands on her waist. “Finalising it for next year.”
He nodded, the logical parts reading in his mind. Although, there was something in his face that made her think he was unsatisfied. “Moving my things to Boston. Why do you ask?”
Something sparked in his eyes, flickering around anywhere but her gaze “I guess-I want to make sure you’re certain about moving. It’s far from your friends.”
She responded with a warm smile, despite the sadness in her heart at the statement. Rather, expecting something else. Another thing she would hope and miss. One of the things that would hurt leaving behind. But Stephen had someone waiting for him here. He would be fine without her. 
“Makes me think you’ll miss me, Strange.”
“Please call me Stephen.” he whispered, flickering from her eyes to her mouth, “Not Strange.”
“Stephen,” she breathed, “It’ll be fine. Things will go back to how they were.”
His paused, his hand travelling down to the small of her back “You say that like it’s a good thing.”
She caught the slightest glimpse of hurt between the shield he put up. “Isn’t it?”
He tilted his head.
“I know.” she looked up, “You’re going to miss our Wednesdays. But hey, more time for reading and running, and...I’ll miss my free coffee.”
He tried to laugh, but it was the forced smile on his face chipped at her heart. that truly caught her off-guard. With a concerned glance, she tried to catch his eyes and compose herself with the burning sensation behind her eyes.
“You’ll do great things at Harvard.” Stephen said, “I know that.”
“I hope everything works out for you. With the grant. And your next project. And...” she paused.
“And whatever is meant for you.” finishing with a sullen look that she hid.
Y/N felt Stephen stop, halting them on the spot. He looked at her through half-lidded eyes and she swore the feeling of his hand burned through to her skin, sending shivers along her skin.
He whispered her name, brushing the hair falling on her neck as they swayed together. Everything faded away when he looked at her with those dreamy blues, and she fell in too deep. Her heart thumped in time with the music, or maybe the thrum of Stephen's heart under the hand that fell onto his chest.
Something struck in her heart, feeling his warm breath on her face. Her eyelids fluttered shut, her heart speeding up as he tilted her chin upward. Time slowed around them, thoughts clouded with a swooning sensation overwhelming her. Was this what falling in love felt like? As Stephen leaned against her forehead, his shaky breath ghosting over her lips. The urge to lean upward and embrace him was strong.
The facts where this; Y/N knew better than anyone you couldn't have everything you wanted. Even if the feeling was the strongest thing you felt. Even if every instinct was telling you to stop, the heart would move forward in retaliation. These facts came to the forefront of her mind in that moment as she regretfully woke up from the dream under her fingertips.
A quiet gasp, the strangled ghost of a sob bubbled from her chest. Knowing she couldn’t have him. Knowing that he wasn't her's. The tears brimmed in her eyes and she clenched them shut, forcing herself to slowly break away in restraint.
“Y/N?”
She forced herself to hold back those tears, putting a pretence that she was fine.
“I-I’m sorry.” she exhaled, “I need-I need a moment. I'm gonna get some air."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"It's fine, really. You enjoy the party." She forced a smile despite the tears brimming in her eyes.
Stephen’s hand reached out in concern, but he brushed Y/N's arm as she walked away.
Through the glassy eyes, she felt someone brush her arm. Y/N jumped, thinking it was Stephen, greeted by Hayden’s concern. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just need some air.”
Hayden was sceptical, looking back to Stephen’s disturbed state, “What did he do?”
She shook her head, “He didn’t do anything, Hayden. Trust me. I’m okay.”
Hayden reluctantly nodded, allowing to her walk out toward the doors to an empty hall, high archways leading into a garden. The dim moonlight cast a beautiful white light over the flowers, bouncing off the water in the central fountain. The tears finally fell, falling as she clutched her arms, holding back quiet sobs. 
Stephen was so close, and yet again, Y/N couldn’t have what she wanted. Life had a cruel way of dangling it in front of her before snatching it out from her reach with a fierce grip. Within the last moment, she had pulled away to save them both from hurt. There was only a few weeks left before it would all be over. Y/N had to be strong, no matter the building tension in her chest as she clenched her hand over her mouth to hold it in. All along, she was led right back here. Right where she had to come to terms with losing Stephen, numbered days crossing away at their time. 
Approaching footsteps left her on edge as she tensed up, looking to the arm that wrapped around her shoulders. Sam’s expression was sombre as he pulled her into his chest. And then she let herself fall apart.
TAGS
@goldencherriess @severuined @thewinterpoet2 @pasta-warlord @typical-bistander @judig92 @captainbarness @gaitwae​ @sleutherclaw @angstsfordays @mavsketch @mando-is-the-way @samisubi @liar-liar13 @evelynrosestuff @stanny-uwu @colorfuly-blog04 @frostandflamesfanfic @katsuphobic @fiadh-bell @awmysherl @sourgrapes-aa @orighami @apple-and-berry @blue-aconite @kaykay0315 @hunterofshadows04 @ohchoices @empty-canvas @99queenrory99 @savage-rhi @shutupwylow @singhfae @loki-is-loved @jotaros-bara-tiddies @cottagecore-cat @simpforreadheads @levitationcloak @hospitaldaydream
230 notes · View notes
tobiasdrake · 5 months
Text
Yuma's found his nerve.
Tumblr media
Creed says you're supposed to be a lone wolf and rely on nobody. But hey, maybe the creed's full of shit. Maybe you should take it down and burn it as soon as you get back to the agen--
Oh, wait, Makoto already did that for us.
Tumblr media
Thanks, brother-from-another-test-tube!
Tumblr media
Just. Don't. Lose sight of the "to make everyone happy" clause of that. The truth doesn't necessarily make everyone happy in and of itself. Like all things, what matters most is what you do with it.
Tumblr media
I think it's worth trying. Why don't you? Better to reach for the stars and fall short than to keep your feet on the ground and never strive for more.
Tumblr media
The reveal that Mystery Phantom Yuma was Mystery Phantom Makoto all along is a clever twist. I like that.
It was a sitcom-esque Wacky Misunderstanding! I called that! I just thought he was going to be Real Yuma.
Also, fuck you and your adherence to the Great Man of History philosophy. I don't think either Yuma or Makoto can singlehandedly save Kanai Ward. But I have faith that Kanai Ward can save Kanai Ward.
Tumblr media
Yuma: Yuma Kokohead quit to go make ramen! That means his name and identity can be mine now, for good! No backsies! Makoto: Wait, so you're forsaking the name and identity of Number One entirely? Yuma: You heard me. Makoto: Oh cool. That means we don't even need to fight anymore. I get to be Number One now, for good. Yuma: Wait, that's not what I-- Makoto: Ah ah ah, no backsies. Yuma: I'm not going to let you take over the WDO! Makoto: Be quiet, Yuma. I don't think a rookie detective should speak that way to his boss. Now go make me a pot of coffee!
Tumblr media
Danganronpa's always struggled with making its climax feel intense. For a series that is essentially just people standing around talking at each other until they can figure out the solution, it's hard to give it that CLIMACTIC. ACTION. FEEL. How do you make a Final Boss Fight in a mystery-solver?
Ace Attorney runs into similar issues, having to strike a careful balance between dynamically fighting off an archvillain with words and oh my god when will it end why is he still going.
But here? Here, we get to punch the bad guy right in his fucking face.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's a nice bit of escalation with some genuinely cool imagery.
Tumblr media
That ultimately does little to disguise the fact that this fight is still just Yuma briefly summarizing the facts of the case, then smacking the facts with his sword to make them bean Makoto in the face.
Tumblr media
Sounds fake but go on.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
That sounds more believable. Makoto wanted to do all of this in the Mystery Labyrinth so that he could take another look at everything he's done and reassess himself and the decisions he's made. I can believe that. That sounds like a thing he'd do.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You took too much on yourself, man. That's the problem with the WDO's creed. It discourages cooperation.
As I've often said, there is no greater problem-solving resource than another human being. Kanai Ward doesn't need a Great Man of History to save it. It needs a chance to crowdsource a better solution.
I don't know what the answer is. I don't have a PHD in genetics or culinary arts. But someone might.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hold up, are we talking about turning off the cloud generator right now? Because that's not the right answer. Definitely not.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Your options suck and I hate you. Let's do something else instead.
Tumblr media
Oh shit, they really are going to make us choose. The metaphysics demand it.
I mean. Obviously we reap Makoto's soul. It's the only way to leave and it's not like it will matter anyway. It has been firmly established that homunculi can regenerate from soul-reaping. If the defective homunculi can do it then Makoto can too. This wouldn't kill him in any way that matters.
I don't want to kill Makoto. I think he has good intentions and just needs to learn to see past his own bullshit. Fortunately, this won't kill him so let's bounce!
I mean, it probably will actually perma-kill him despite violating the internal consistency of the game's metaphysics. Writers tend to forget what they've already established when they try to write these Cruel Choice conclusions. That same problem hit Life is Strange like a ton of brick with their poorly-conceived final choice.
But I choose to hold the game to what it's previously established. If soul-reaping could perma-kill homunculi then we wouldn't have seen Yakou and the other killers in the Restricted Area.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
If your metaphysics will allow that, sure.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Yuma's coming around. Discarding emotion to reach a logical conclusion is a bad way of helping people.
Tumblr media
My dude, idealism solves everything. No progress would ever been made if it weren't for idealistic fools believing it could be done. We wouldn't have planes today if some dipshit hadn't gone, "I'm gonna try to fly, and fuck you if you think I can't."
Tumblr media Tumblr media
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA YES
I did not think we'd actually get Yuma this far but he made it! Let's crowdsource this shit! In this complex moral debate between Yuma and Makoto, I fucking won!
This final chapter has been extremely validating for me. ^_^
18 notes · View notes
crescencestudio · 2 years
Note
I need you to know I am not asking this to be a jackass, but are there any plans to add a lady romance option or two to the game later? It looks like a great game with cool characters and an awesome world, but I often find that as a lesbian I get one option at best for these things. I am sorry if this isn't a great question. It's cool if this game just isn't for me, but I like what I am seeing from your style so far and would like to feel like I had more of a path for me, you know?
Sorry again. As I said, it seems like a lovely game
Hi, anon!
I don’t think you are coming across as a jackass at all, haha. What you’re asking is completely valid, and I’m glad the game looks good enough for you to have this much interest in it :) What I’m about to say is going to be long, mostly because I don’t want to misrepresent myself and my process, so sorry for the long response!
Unfortunately, I don’t anticipate being able to add more feminine presenting options to the game. It might help to explain the process of how Alaris has come to be to give some context as to why!
Alaris is a game that I started on a whim while in PhD school. It’s my first experience designing characters, drawing at a fuller capacity, creating a story, and programming. Basically, I had no experience in any aspect of creating a game when I started a year ago. Because of that, Alaris is mostly a game for me — both in taste and convenience.
I played to what I thought was feasible for me to do and what I enjoyed, meaning, regarding taste, it’s a fantasy game with a somewhat customizable character and romance options that are aligned to my personal tastes. Regarding convenience, if I’m being frank, I simply am bad at drawing feminine presenting characters because I don’t have as much experience drawing the anatomy for it </3 As you can imagine, creating a game as a hobby is already a large workload as is, especially given the scope of Alaris at this point. Forcing myself to also learn anatomy on top of that would hinder the progress I’m able to make for the game in a huge way and could potentially kill my motivation for it.
Alaris is a passion project I work on as a hobby and is my first game, so I didn’t want to burden myself with trying to do too much. Rather than make a “perfect” game that would cater to a lot of people and audiences, I stuck with a game that I would like and be happy with as a first-time creator. It’s fortunately grown in scope and audience far more than I would’ve anticipated, but that doesn’t change the fact that I work on it alone and so am limited in what I’m realistically able to add to the game :’(
With the stretch goals and six love interests already slated for the game, I don’t think I would be able to add an additional feminine presenting love option on top of that. Maybe in the future, if I make another game, it’s something I can revisit and implement from the beginning, but again, it’s not something I can realistically guarantee since it depends on my abilities. I hope that answers your question and gives context as to why there are no feminine presenting options in the game. I’m very sorry that Alaris may not be the game for you, but it’s very flattering that it looked interesting enough for you to ask <3
Off the top of my head, I do know other indie “fantasy” romance visual novels that have feminine presenting options. I’m not sure if you’ve played them already, but some ones I can remember that are quite amazing are:
Herotome by @herotome (only Prologue out right now, but it’s in development and is a beautiful and fun game. superhero romance)
Andromeda Six by Wanderlust Games (releases in chapters. sci-fi romance)
When the Night Comes by Lunaris Games (completed. fantasy supernatural romance)
Imperial Grace by @synstoria (demo out. not quite fantasy but has similar vibes. political romance)
Na Daoine Maithe or The Good People by @moiraimyths (demo out. fantasy, fae, political romance)
First Bite by First Bite Games (completed. fantasy vampire romance)
138 notes · View notes
criminallyvenomous · 1 year
Text
Fighting Leads To Fxxking
Masterlist
Chapter Three - He's Not Exactly Human
Ship - Loki x Stark! Reader
Word Count - 1,015
Tw - Angst, Mentions of an Abortion
Plot - Stark! Reader get stuck watching Loki after the events of 2012. Moments of weakness and bad decisions involving the world's most hated man lead to the worst possible outcome, pregnancy.
Tumblr media
It was official. You were pregnant, the six different tests you took confirmed it. Nat just held you as you cried softly. How were you supposed to tell your father that you were intimate with a convicted murderer? Now, that's a head scratcher. How were you supposed to have a child when not only their father is in prison, but he's on another planet?
"It'll be okay. I can take you to the clinic if you want. Only if you want to and you've thought this through. If you want to keep it, we can figure something out. At least it's with Thor, he's a good guy, Y/N." She gave you a hug as you sigh, wondering how much longer you can keep this charade going.
~
Over the past two weeks Nat has been helping you hide your secret and make sure you're taking care of yourself. She wants you to talk to a doctor, though. You agreed to see someone, but Tony can't know, meaning you couldn't use your insurance. Hence why she brought Bruce over to your apartment in the tower.
"So, what's going on?" He asked, looking back and forth between you and Natasha.
"Well, we have a situation that really needs a doctor.” Natasha explains, being as vague as humanly possible.
“I do actually need some sort of information to go off of here, guys.” He looks confused and you can’t blame him. You decide to just rip the bandaid off.
“I’m pregnant.”
“Oh. Uh, does Tony know?” He asks after a moment of silence for processing, looking at you with his soft eyes and kind expression.
“Not yet, she’s still trying to figure out this whole situation. We don’t really know what to do because of the father. I don’t even know if she can get an abortion or what with all the factors.” Nat leans the conversation towards you, hoping you can tell Bruce about the father.
“What does that mean, Y/N? I’m not really following, which is a rare occurrence.” He always finds a way to bring up his PHDs.
“He’s not exactly human.” You spit out, looking at the floor, not daring to make eye contact with either of them.
“Oh, well, I guess that’s why you’re looking to me for help. Not exactly human here myself.” He says, lightheartedly.
Soon, you were in a medical office and Bruce had a wand to your stomach, giving you an ultrasound. Natasha was sitting in the corner of the room, her hands on her face, trying to prepare herself for any possible result.
“Oh.” Bruce let’s his expression slip through his lips. He hasn’t really asked any prying questions, other than how far along you were. He was avoiding anything about the father, as if he already knew who he was. Or maybe, he could just sense the tension in the room over the father.
“‘Oh?’ What does that mean, Bruce?” Nat asks for the both of you.
“The fetus is triple the expected size. You might want to act soon if you’re not intending on keeping it.”
“Do I really have an option at this point?”
“I don’t really know, kid. This isn’t like anything I’ve seen before. There are so many factors I have to analyze first. Do you mind if I take a tissue sample for testing?”
“No! No samples!” You yell, surprising the two of them. You couldn’t risk them finding out that this wasn’t Thor’s kid, it was Loki’s. Sure, Odin cast a spell that made Loki appear Asgardian, but there isn’t anything put on his kids, right? Maybe things would be okay and the kid would come out all Asgardian-looking. Unless they had blue skin. Fuck, what if they had blue skin? What if the tissue sample is blue? Is that possible?
“Hey, kiddo. Come back to me.” Bruce waves his hand in your face, snapping you out of your overthinking trance.
“We’re going to give you some alone time. I’ll be back in five minutes, okay?” Nat exclaims, pulling Bruce with her into the hallway.
You were alone. You needed this. You needed to think and to compile all the pros and cons and every little factor.
“Hello, little Stark.” You look up and he’s there. He’s standing right in front of you.
“What are you doing? How are you here?” You question him, yelling.
“It’s an illusion, darling. I had to make sure you were doing alright, carrying a frost giant and all.”
“You knew?”
“Of course. No mortal pill can stop the power of a god.”
“Was this on purpose, Loki?” You start to get defensive.
“No, of course not. I’m not an actual monster. There was only a ten percent chance it would survive anyways, I figured it was worth it.”
“You knew there was a chance and you still slept with me?”
“Oh, my dear, there’s no better act of rebellion than sleeping with the enemy.” He smirked and you began to frown, anger rising through you.
“You did this to get back at my dad?”
“No, it was simply put, a lovely side effect. A very pleasurable, lovely side effect.” You’re shaking your head, frustrated with the situation you’ve found yourself in.
There’s a knock on the door and before you knew it, he was gone without any explanation.
"Are you okay?" Nat asked, sitting with you on the table as Bruce took the scans into his laboratory room.
"I think so. I just needed to ground myself. I don't know if I'll keep it right now."
"You don't have to. You just need to think about it, okay? I called Thor and he's coming back here as soon as he can. I didn't tell him you were pregnant, just that there was an emergency we needed him for. It will be alright, kid. He can help you decide, but don't forget that it's your choice." She squeezed you tightly into an awkward side hug. You were internally freaking out over the idea of Thor coming to Earth soon. What would you even say?
hope u liked! next two chapters go from wholesome to heart wrenching so stay tuned (might be released at the same time 👀) don't choke my little guttersluts - kat.
Next Chapter
41 notes · View notes
69-toojay · 9 months
Text
Something I see quite often some sort of mandatory acknowledgement of Hannibal's abuse before one makes a joke about him because God forbid you do not appear to have done a PhD on the complexities of abuse patterns and interpersonal relationships in the womb. God forbid you have something to learn and I see a blatant erasure of Will's victimhood simply because he has also killed. It's an incredibly Catholic mentality to want your victims to suffer at the stake as the embodiment of serenity and forgiveness when it's often not how real victimhood manifests at all. I think we're often afraid of seeing the powerlessness of Will in certain situations because it runs the risk of falling into homophobic tropes, we're afraid the acknowledgement of abuse might sour the romance of it all. We can let our need for reciprocity from Will blur out the journey of it how it came to be.
Will's journey of being abused and coming out the other side spoke to me because it's seldom a big bad random man. Its often someone you trust and love. And love more than anyone else in the world, half through your own choice of feeling broken and distant your whole life and finding someone who seems to understand and half through them slowly isolating you. Planting seeds of doubt in your mind about your friends , by showing you how civil society is just another word for fair weather friends . You see it when you fall down and everyone seemed to take a step back. And there comes the Knight in Shining Armour to the rescue, even though he's the one who pushed you. Rescuing from the isolation he half manufactured to show you it's only you and him. Everyone else is fickle. You tell people what they did and no one seems to understand the gravity of the pain, except Him. You conclude He must understand what he did. Why else would he try to hide it. He knows how you feel. (he doesn't)
And in that ostracised isolation from civil society and the glistening hand of the Knight in Shining Armour who you Know now is also the witch who poisoned you , you begin to find your only friend the second time. This time by a resigned choice of having no other option. You resent them, but you also love them. And only them. This love and resentment turns monstrous and takes a life of its own. You fall down the path of vengeance biting anything you see in your way. And feeling a earth shatteringly ferocious jealousy when your Knight shows you he may have isolated you because he feels empty and convinced you, only you make him whole, but he did not isolate himself. He still has everyone but you only have him. If you cannot be whole again. If you cannot fit in civil society again, the least you could be is special in His eyes, but if even he won't put you first you will kill.
He created a secret world for you and the rules there are warped and turned upside down, yes. But you're the King there and you won't have anyone else in your world. But your warped love for him won't turn you into him, you cannot shed your conscience like snakeskin. You cannot make it stop hurting after the glee of the kill. So you try to find a way, to live in that secret word forever. It doesn't work.
I would rather people would read it as a blatant romance than see abuse as a mathematical competition where one act cancels out another. I would urge you to not be afraid ,to close your eyes and let the magic of the show speak to you. You might learn something about yourself and the world.
11 notes · View notes
chronicparagon · 17 days
Text
[I don’t want to cry and I hate venting but I don’t really know what to do. I don’t have anywhere to go about this and it’s getting to a point that hiding it is becoming too much.
I’ll have it under read more but it involves my grad school and fighting to get permission to start my dissertation. I don’t know if all grad schools are the same but that’s how it is for mine.
What’s weird is I started my thesis without jumping through so many hoops when I got my master’s degree.]
I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my advisor. I am done with classes and my comprehensive exam. However, I can’t get permission to enroll in dissertation credits. My advisor wouldn’t talk to me for months. I tried to reach out so many time and I couldn’t handle it anymore.
I asked to change my advisor which was accepted. However, I have to search for a new one that will want to work with me. After that, the nightmare begins.
I was so close to getting that permission. But now, I have to redo my IRB at the school and hope for approval, but I also have to redo the IRB process at work since my dissertation was related to my work.
I will have to also need to see if the rest of the committee will want to work with me anymore. If they don’t want to work with any new advisor I can find, then they are out and I have to start that step over. That took me almost a year to find everyone who was willing to be in my dissertation committee. Restarting IRB will take at least a few weeks to several months.
This is not counting redoing the plan of study and possible have to start all over with my topic proposal which took a year and a half to work on and it’s not even approved to be presented and formally submitted. That would have been the last step to have that permission number to enroll for my dissertation.
I don’t think I can back out of the advisor change to save the progress. She already left and when she was working with me, she wouldn’t answer me for months. I waited for half a year for any response, only to be told I have to rewrite sections of my proposal, add more to it like policy briefs that she wanted (originally not my idea for my dissertation but I did what she told me to do).
I will say I am not leaving my grad school. I came this far for my PhD and I’m not quitting. That has never been an option.
I have people delay me and some even admit they never believed in me. My former advisor didn’t say that explicitly but how she always had me as an after thought and ignore my emails and calls, I felt that was a message.
Then, she would be unhappy with my progress in my proposal and tell me I need to do it over. It happened four times. I told myself I was being too sensitive to think my former advisor is sabotaging my work. I don’t want to be unfair and assume that . She has a lot going on like her family, work, her own research and travel. Still, that thought hasn’t left my mind since one of my coworkers told me sabotage is happening and I need to do something about it now. She is also a PhD student from another program and school and I explained my situation to her because I felt frustrated but also worried that I wasn’t giving my former advisor the grace she deserves.
I hate rushing people but I don’t have much time left. Once my time runs out, then I am removed from the program. It doesn’t matter if I never got the dissertation. When time is out, then I have to leave. The dissertation plus defense can take about 6-12 months, sometimes longer.
A lot of my cohorts who I studied with already graduated and got their doctorates. I don’t understand why I’m so behind. I got everything I could done but I was still pushed back.
I’m at a loss. All I can do is pick up the pieces and keep advocating for myself. I just need someone to listen and help me get to the final phase of my studies. I will be quiet today because I have to start searching for a new advisor and restart the process in hopes to be a candidate by the fall. This needs to be done in between my projects at work which also needs my attention.
I’m very sorry about this. The advisor change was bound to happen and I knew I may had to redo some things but not everything. Over a year’s work gone. It really hurts and honestly, I feel rejected because of all of this and searching for a new advisor.
6 notes · View notes
goosegoblin · 1 year
Note
Hi jess. Hope you’re well. Asking you this because im honestly not sure who to ask in my life and ive liked the advice you’ve given to others in the past. So im an american poc, 21 and in college, as is my white bf. We’ve only been dating 5 mos but im more in love and secure w him than anyone ever and he feels the same. We’ve started talking about postgrad plans since we’re going to enter our last year of college. He is planning on a phd whereas im going corporate. He wants to live together after graduation and be in the same city. He’ll heavily consider my choice for location when it comes to grad school and wants me to apply to jobs in those cities. I really want to be with him and I can see a future w him but at the same time it’s really scary. Especially the thought of moving away from my state and moving in with him and starting a life together. I feel like im still young. But i also dont want to be long distance, esp because wherever he picks for grad school he will be stuck at for a few years. Are we crazy to be talking about all this and considering living together (a year later) when we’ve only been together for 5mos? Im aware we could break up before then and my immigrant parents will present MANY issues, but there’s hope in my heart that we’ll work thru all of it together. Or am I being delusional and need to chill out? We still have a few mos but I’ll need to start applying to jobs in the fall and will need to figure out which cities by then. Idk. It sounds crazy to me. He could be the one or he could not. I dont know and my heart wants to run w this but also scary to make decisions when we haven’t known each other that long (even tho it’s been wonderful. Not perfect bc many external obstacles but perfect btwn us). Any advice is much appreciated!!! Sorry this is so long
Hello my friend,
I think to a certain extent this depends on how much this would limit your career options. Are we talking about a career where you can pretty easily find jobs in most cities? Or one that's quite niche, where limiting yourself would make life a lot harder? If you weren't moving to be with him, would you consider moving to another state at all, or would you strongly prefer to stay where you are?
A few other things to consider- if you make these plans and then you break up beforehand, will you have somewhere to stay? What if you break up after a few months of living together- who will leave and who will stay? Will you be alright for money? Will you have a support network outside of him, even if not in person? You say there will be issues with your family- if they're currently an important part of your life, will you potentially lose them if you make this decision? Is that okay with you or not? None of these are leading questions, by the way- they're just things I think are worth consideration.
For reference, I moved in with my then-boyfriend and two other people in a shared house after dating him for around six months. We're now married, so it went pretty well! That being said, it was in the same city I was living in anyway, we were also living with other people, and we were both still attending (the same) university. I am sure many people have stories of moving in together early and having it work; I am sure many have stories of moving in together early and it not working (I suspect, sadly, there are many more of these). Nothing in life is risk-free.
I think if you do go through with it, it's sensible to think of and plan for worst-case scenarios- but I don't think this is a situation where I can tell you what's right or wrong. I think it depends on a lot of different factors. Are there friends or people in your life that you could ask that might know you and your partner better? I'm sorry that I couldn't give more specific or useful advice.
Best wishes and lots of love,
xx
7 notes · View notes
themculibrary · 10 months
Text
Hope van Dynes & Tony Stark Masterlist
5 Candid Photos of Tony Stark and the 1 Candid Photo of Iron Man (ao3) - dls
Summary: Iron Man, optional. Tony Stark, preferred.
Ant-Man (ao3) - WaywardKeener scott/hope T, 8k
Summary: Scott just wants to see his daughter. Hope wants the tech out of Darren's hands. Hank is with his daughter but disagrees on who they should trust about this mission to stop Darren.
Better Than Before (Yesterday’s Gone) (ao3) - Meatball42 tony/hope G, 2k
Summary: Hope knows she has what it takes to be an Avenger. It’s getting along with her prospective teammates that worries her- and one of them in particular.
bound by a promise to the moon (ao3) - graveltotempo tony/stephen G, 80k
Summary: In 1990, Carol Danvers, James Rhodes, Stephen Strange, Tony Stark and Hope Van Dyne get drunk and make a blood oath.
daddy, watch your little black sheep run (ao3) - paperclipbitch tony/hope T, 10k
Summary: “Just so we’re clear,” Hope says, breathless, hands tangled in Tony’s hair and eyes bright, “we’re only doing this to piss off my dad, okay?”
“Hang on,” Tony replies, fumbling with the back of her bra, “I thought we were doing this to piss off my dad.”
Field Trip 2.0 (ao3) - Angeeelatin pepper/tony G, 3k
Summary: Because the Academic Decathlon team won nationals this year, they were awarded with field trips. Yes, field trips. Plural. Because they had already visited Stark Industries, their destinations this time were a bit more diverse in location. They were going to the White House, and Pym Technologies.
For some reason, Peter has higher clearance than he should have.
Or: I introduce another character into the Peter Parker & SI- verse, Hope Van Dyne
hey, babe? I think I wanna marry you (ao3) - graveltotempo tony/hope G, 6k
Summary: five times tony stark proposed to hope van dyne, and one time she proposed to him (spoiler alert: he said yes).
Hope Burns Bright Despite All Darkness (ao3) - starbuck92 hank/janet, pepper/tony, scott/hope T, 13k
Summary: “There’s no manual on how to raise kids when you do what we do.”
Parenting isn’t easy, even for genuine superheroes. It turns out that growing up with only one of those parents isn’t a walk in the park either.
la petite souer (ao3) - starbuck92 T, 8k
Summary: Christmas wasn’t his favorite time of the year. Unlike other kids, Tony didn’t have the best memories of the holiday season, and even into his adulthood, it hadn’t gotten much better after the death of his parents. He ignored as much as he could, shutting himself in his garage or in the lab to tinker with anything that would occupy his brain for hours at a time, usually ending the nights either drunk off his ass or in bed with someone - or both, more often than not.
Christmas through Hope’s eyes, however, was magical.
Little Boxes (ao3) - TenSpencerRiedPlease tony/t’challa, steve/tony (not endgame) N/R, 33k
Summary: When Tony had been in his twenties he’d been all fast cars, snarky remarks, and promiscuous enough that he offended people with it. Now people talked about how Steve tamed him like he had been a wild animal or some shit. And Steve didn’t tame him at all, he fucking gutted him.
*
T'Challa doesn’t need another PhD but its better than dealing with political responsibilities at home and he came to America under the guise of doing his best to understand various world cultures. His stint to America is to waste time and avoid his political duties as a prince but his father approved anyways. Probably because he sensed that if he didn’t T’Challa would do what he wants anyways.
Midnight Lab Break-Ins (ao3) - purplecatsweater pepper/tony, background hope/scott G, 5k
Summary: Tony, suddenly a little shy, ducks slightly behind his father.
Rage Makes Fire Hotter (ao3) - Tempest_Raining scott/hope G, 4k
Summary: Hope van Dyne was not happy with the Rogue Avengers for what they did to themselves, the world, and Tony Stark. In fact, she was pretty pissed. Perhaps it was time she let them know it.
Or: The One Where Hope van Dyne Scares The Rogue Avengers For Various Reasons.
Stronger than Blood (ao3) - marvelfoodlover rhodey/tony, pepper/hope G, 6k
Summary: Many believed that a Pym and a Stark can never be in same room without disagreeing. Everyone knew about the hostility Hank Pym had for Howard Stark, and it wasn’t a secret that the the feeling is mutual.
Everybody knew it. So what comes next is quite the surprise.
That Bridge was Burnt (ao3) - Lp37451 (BirdieBats) tony/stephen, carol/rhodey, scott/hope G, 27k
Summary: The Rogues are back, Tony doesn't care for them anymore but Stephen Strange and Tony Stark have a surprising amount in common.
the legacies are (not) alright (ao3) - MarvelousAvengfulSlytherin G, 2k
Summary: Hope changed, Sharon fought and Tony reinvented. How they became an unlikely family and decided to change things. Life isn't fair after all so why should any of them be?
2 notes · View notes
picnokinesis · 1 year
Note
Can you tell us more about the gender differences of Campervan!Doctor and Zombie!Doctor? Wait, does Campervan!Doctor still identify as transmasc or was that only in their teens?
Ok I'm actually gonna answer the last question first which is that: campervan 13 doesn't reaaaally identify as anything other than "genderqueer", but I would describe her as transmasc because, yeah, when she was a teenager she did think she was a trans boy because, well, she wasn't a girl and she didn't know there were any other options - plus, she wears a binder, which doesn't mean she's aiming for masculinity, I suppose, but more that she's trying to present as something that isn't feminine. She's not quite the opposite of transfemme, but she isn't not that either. I used transmasc in that other post for ease, but campervan 13 is very slippery with gender and probably wouldn't describe herself as such if asked? Again - she's genderqueer, and that term suits her fine. I suppose comparing her to other camperverses makes it easier - take AU5, for example, which hardly anyone knows anything about rip but in that au they go by John and use he/they pronouns. Which shows how they still realised later that they weren't a binary trans guy, but rather something more nebulous in the middle, and so started using "they" as well as just "he". The main reason John uses he/they whilst literally all the other verses use she (or whatever pronouns are more "useful" in redacted au sksks) is because John was in a situation very early on where his gender was accepted and they felt able to explore it. Whereas the other verses they were not in that position at all, until they were a lot older (e.g. whilst at uni).
So then compare all of that to zombie au - Theo kinda knew but also really didn't. When she was in her late teens/early adulthood, I think she started to tangibly realise that something was up, and then actually knuckled down harder on "no yeah im 100% a cis boy yep" sksksk because she just. Did not want to deal with it. And then when she was doing her phd with Koschei, she started to really Realise and was just. Very scared of what that would mean. And then this going on with a lot of aro feelings coming to the fore meant that she was Going Thru It by the time that she says to Koschei "I'm not boyfriend material". There's more to it than that but it's in the fic so I'll leave it for now.
Another difference is that Theo has physically transitioned! But the Doctor absolutely has not sksks, like she hasn't even told the fam that her nickname is a gender thing rather than a journalism pen name thing - although they've all pretty much guessed that haha. I guess for Theo, she has someone like Koschei who really knows her and sees her exactly as she is, and at the point where she comes to understand herself, she's actually able to be vulnerable about it. Whereas the Doctor hates being vulnerable in campervan au, and so just coming out is an issue, let alone socially or physically transitioning. Plus, ofc, the medical side of transitioning is also an issue for the Doctor, who would find that intolerable for obvious reasons. She'd rather keep that part of herself hidden, whereas Theo wants to live being seen as a boyish girl. She feels a lot more confident in her gender than campervan 13 does, I think.
They are similar, though, in that neither of them are binary trans - Theo is not a trans woman, per se, and the Doctor/John is not a trans man, not even in au5. They're both somewhere a little more nebulous - but they are both definitely at different places on the gender spectrum. Hence: transfemme and genderqueer haha
8 notes · View notes
gradling · 1 year
Note
hello jamie! i stumbled upon your blog through the studyblr tag and started fangirling a little because a phd in anything medieval has been a dream of mine for awhile (and seeing that your research is in faerie lit is even cooler, i loved that subtopic in undergrad). i’d love to know more about your journey like how you chose your program or what were the best tactics you used to prepare—but ofc only if you’re comfortable sharing! thanks for reading all this and best wishes - 🥀 anon
Hello! It's lovely to hear from someone who's interested in pursing medieval studies!
(Caveat that my journey is just my own personal experience and that there are many ways to choose and prepare for an academic program) I actually prepared by taking some time away from academia first. I worked for two years as a paralegal while working on my applications for grad school, which helped me to (a) confirm that I wanted to go back to academia instead of entering the corporate world, (b) revise my BA thesis (which was frankly not well-written) into a reasonable writing sample for applications, and (c) digest some of the ideas I'd started thinking about in undergrad but had been way too stressed/sleep-deprived to really delve into. For me, those last two points were linked. One of the main reasons why my BA thesis was so rough was because I hadn't wanted to cut anything out, which meant that there were a lot of tangents that didn't really relate to my central argument. The positive side to this was that, after trimming things down for my writing sample, I was able to take one of those tangents and turn it into a question that I was interested in exploring further and that I could only find limited research on, and that became my statement of purpose.
During this entire process, I also stayed in contact with my undergrad advisor and another professor who knew my work very well. As I was revising and doing additional research for my applications, I made note of the professors who came up in my research regularly and which institutions they were at, and I'd bring the list to my advisor/the other professor, and we'd talk through what programs made sense. I also looked at medieval studies programs for their funding options, affiliations, libraries, and activities such as reading groups and course offerings, and I added or eliminated them from the list based off of that. If I happened to know anyone in those programs (or had a friend of a friend or anything like that), I also reached out to ask questions about what life as a grad student was like there--I honestly had a hard time finding information about, say, sexual harassment and racism, through other means, so talking with people who were current graduate students was extremely helpful. My current program was one that my professor suggested to me during this process, which I'm incredibly grateful for because, out of the programs I got into, it was also the one that offered me the best funding.
This is getting kind of long, but that's a bit of a run-down of my journey in broad strokes! I'd be happy to talk more if there's anything you'd like to hear more about, too!
2 notes · View notes