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separatist-apologist · 2 years

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I don't know if you've answered this before and I just missed it so I wanted to ask. Have you ever thought about doing a LOA x Helion monsterfucking fic?

I've answered this twice but it seems I've angered the Tumblr gods.

I have thought about a Vansnake prequel but for now, his unhinged son is more fascinating to me. I think if I did him, I'd want to pick a new monster.

#never say never!#but probably not soon

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mushiishrooms · 2 months

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I'd love to be more active on Tumblr again, but everytime I open the app I'm back to that feeling of anxiety tearing me up inside as my ex posts the same post about how bad they're doing over and over and over while ignoring me and it's taking me everything I have not to run into their dms and apologize and beg them to talk to me again even if I was never wrong to begin with

#sort of a vent #i used to use tumblr a lot but its really hard to open the app after this #especially because tumblr has a lot of small circles #and it leaves me feeling paranoid #i know some of the people i follow follow them/#are mutuals with them #and im not trying to cancel them i just see their username and i #spiral a bit #it wasnt the only time they did it too #sometimes it would be straight up suicidal posts #it felt so awful #especially at the end #any person who has respect for their partner even during conflict would not do that #i didnt deserve that #or any of what they did at the end #if anyone wants to follow my twitter my username is the same there #im on there more often because being on the app doesnt give me a viseral reaction #eventually i will use tumblr like normal #but probably not soon

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mag200 · 10 months

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(me on a first date) and what do you think of the inherent intimacy of surgery? have you considered the love someone must have to put their hands under your skin and hold the most grotesque parts of you and put them back together nicely? is anyone really closer to you than that? we all get uh a little enamored on the surgery table don't we haha. wait come back

#coming up soon on a year since my top surgery <3 #idk if this needs content warnings but probably #surgery tw #mild body horror #everyone be cool on this post. look me in the eyes promise me rn. everyone act cool.#gender tag

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haemosexuality · 8 months

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one step closer to being real

#they cant say fuck yet but they could probably get away with hell #adventure time #fionna and cake #when/if this gets to 10k im turning rbs off #its at 9k rn so it probably will soon #post neutered everyone go home #ok this has calmed down enough that im turning rbs on again

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newttxt · 4 months

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leashes for zosan

#one piece #zoro #sanji #zosan #nico robin #usopp #ive had this comic sketched for… probably months. but i finally lined and finished it!!#eesh… three comics in three days… this rate is NOT sustainable #im just incapable of not thinking about one piece dkfkdkkckdkc #i normally dont draw at all nov-feb bc i feel unmotivated and sad but hey!! not this year!! skckdkckdkkcdk #anyway i have the nonblurry zoro. featuring more of his uhhh body. but thats not going up here any time soon

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pseudospectre · 6 months

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#polls #hauntings #Halloween #creepy #poltergeist #ghosts #haunted House #this radio ain't gonna haunt itself #spooky season #probably i could have come up with better ones #and I'm sure as soon as i hit post I'll remember one i wanted to include #but oh well #get haunted idiot

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buryustogether · 10 months

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imagine being fucked my miguel, your husband, and he’s doing things… different. not bad different. just different. come to think of it, he’s been acting completely off since he got home a few hours ago. but it all just feels too good to say anything, so you let him keep pounding into you.

you’re both so lost you don’t even hear the lock in the front door. the footsteps in the hall. see the man standing in the bedroom doorway - until you do.

it’s miguel - your miguel. the real miguel. shot through the stomach and crudely stitched up, but still alive and kicking - and watching his impostor fuck you into his own bed.

your mind can’t comprehend it.

his can’t either.

he’s delirious, lost too much blood to think properly. he approaches the bed, staring at the alternate version of himself, before he’s slowly sitting and reaching down to rub his thumb at your clit in that certain way that makes you see stars.

“she likes it like this.”

#will probably write this into a full thing soon #atsv miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara smut #miguel x y/n #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader #miguel spiderman #atsv miguel #miguel o’hara across the spiderverse #across the spider verse

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inkskinned · 10 months

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so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.

this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.

somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.

i used betterhelp.

i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.

the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.

they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.

the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.

i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."

i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.

the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.

i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.

in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.

the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.

betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.

i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.

there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.

in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.

i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.

#writeblr #the book....#coming soon #hey so if ur someone who has ever said “you need to write a book”#i wrote the book #it's ... probably the best thing ive ever written #this is maybe too honest lol #okay to reblog thank you for asking i love u i am in love with u our wedding will be in may

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twistcmyk · 10 months

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something obvious that i only figured out a year or two ago

#i probably won't quit twitter anytime soon #it's where most of my following is #and where i've made most of my connections #but man is it easy to manage when you just #close the window after posting art

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thehmn · 1 month

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Why does this dog look so uncanny? I’m sure it’s very lovely but it looks like a fantasy dog or like it was drawn by a monk from the Middle Ages.

My friend and I tried to work out what it is about it that looks so uncanny. I have a chihuahua which already looks like a mess with similar proportions and a Shih tzu with a short snout so neither of those things come off as weird to me.

So this is an honest question. Does this dog look uncanny to you too and if so why? I’m beyond fascinated by this girl.

#dogs #uncanny #will probably delete soon #because it’s silly

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kyxuu · 1 month

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