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nelavili · 3 years

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I'm still processing Season 6 and as an unpopular opinion I'm not too happy about it as a whole. I feel horrible for not enjoying it as much as the Cast/Crew would like me to, but I just can’t change this feeling I have.

Just to clear my head I'll write the things down that irked me. I don't want to start any discussion, they're only my thoughts on stuff ‘n thangs. Huge spoilers ahead, please don’t read if you haven’t watched.

Michael

I admit it, I have probably more sympathy for the bad twin than I should. And after the whole S5 I thought we get a bit more closure with him. I didn’t expect a redemption arc, after Michael killed Remiel, Dan and Chloe it would have felt wrong. But after the “Everyone deserves a second chance” the dude is down in hell, scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush. Really, Lucifer? That’s cruel after such a righteous line.

When Luci realized he could help everyone, even if he hated them, I hoped for a dive into the twins’ relationship but it was like Michael didn’t even existed anymore. And if someone needed therapy it would be the twin with the huge inferior complex. That could have been so interesting. (I had hoped that he'd sat on the couch at the end, but noooo we get the Frenchman.. such a disappointment.)

Maybe Tom Ellis didn’t want to play 2 roles again, or there was no time, but I feel that was a huge opportunity wasted.

What even was the plan of Michael? To get God to retire and wreck havoc on earth to get Dad back, so Mickey can take over as the new God? And then what? Wipe out humanity? I see no endgame here.

Ella

I liked Ella’s Story so far. But she stole the personal file of Carol and even broke into his house.. and everybody is cool with this? Carol might be crushing on Ella pretty hard but if somebody tells you they broke into your house, because they feared you were hiding something bad, You run for the hills. But the dude isn’t even phased.

I’m glad Carol is a good guy, though. Even if he’s kind of bland.

Ella finding out the truth on her own came out of nowhere. I would have found it better if they would have her act a little suspicious over the whole S5. But since they wrote S6 while S5 was shot, a little to late for this.

The scene at the wedding was amazing. I had so much fun with her outburst there.

Dan

Ghost!Dan was my favorite by far in this season. And I really liked how he wanted to help and tried to find out what he still felt guilty about.

I am so glad he got to spend his afterlife with Charlotte and I laughed so hard with the pudding. Didn’t expect that, in a positive matter. :D

The scene with Trixie killed me. Bawled so hard as soon as Kevin got teary eyes. That really gripped at my heartstrings.

But how could he go to heaven while in a body of a killer when his daughter stands right next to that killer?

Comedy-wise Dan is top notch

Trixie

I missed her so much.

It felt like she was an afterthought with everything. She recently lost her Dad and Chloe spends most of the time with Lucifer. I really missed the scenes with her and Luci, they always were so adorable.

They explain it later that she’s at a science camp, but I honestly thought Chloe chooses Lucifer (and later Rory too) over her.

She wasn’t at Chloe’s deathbed but here I’m not sure if the scene with Rory isn’t placed somewhere at the threshold to heaven where only celestials are able to enter. But if she wasn’t there because Chloe sidelined her in favor of Rory, then I can understand her absence.

Linda

I love Linda, she always gives good advice but nobody’s ever took it.

Her book probably would fly under the fantasy tag if she ever published it. Still, it felt cringey.

It was so sad that she thought she was a bad therapist.

Apparently she wants to keep helping celestials because it’s better than helping humans. In the end, celestials have the same problems as humans just on a bigger scale. But okay.

Amenadiel

Amenacop was good, and a nice nod to Dan who put in the application.

It made him realize that he only can change things when he has more power. I’m white and no american so I don’t know if the BLM theme there was well enough executed. Got me wondering.

The apocalypse just being Angels who are incompetent was a letdown. Like this whole season.

I really like him as god. And I am glad he took the position in the end. Even if he could have decided this a bit earlier.

Rory

I like her sarcasm and her character.

Didn’t like the whole time travel, time loop and daughter spiel. I’m not a big fan of time travels or couples getting a kid just for the sake of a happy end or to add extra drama. I could have lived without a Deckerstar baby. Instead they could have focused on Trixie for a change.

The time she spent with Lucifer on the 4th August was precious though.

How in hell did the Frenchman capture her? How did he even know how she looked? IIRC Dan hasn’t seen Rory while in that body. Dan just went over to Trixie that’s why I thought he’d capture her and not Rory.

Lucifer

He found his calling to help the souls in hell only because Rory traveled back in time? No man, he already took the step with Jimmy Barnes in preparation to take over as god. I don’t think it’s far fetched to believe that he would have the same epiphany without Rory there.

But without Rory, he wouldn’t have been helping Ghost!Dan to go to heaven. Though, before Rory traveled back in time, Lucifer was already trying to help Dan. They probably would have needed more time to figure out about what Dan felt guilty about, but figure it out anyways.

How did he even got Chloe pregnant? Was it his subconscious deciding he was ready to be a father? Amenadiel had to believe that he was human to get Linda pregnant. Or maybe it’s because they always thought they couldn’t impregnate a human and self-actualized it that way. Anyways, it’s a tiny hang-up I have with it.

Somebody else besides me thought that the scene in the panic room was awkwardly long? I know they thought Lucifer would vanish somehow, but it seemed too much to me.

His singsong while the magician talked about the trick. :D

I don’t want to even get into the whole time loop thing because I think it’s ridiculous(ly bad).

It took a lot of time for him to realize that he didn’t want to be god, after he put it on hold for a second time. Even Chloe could have asked him if that is really what he wanted. Could have spared us an episode or so. Why is the communication on this show so bad? Q.Q

I loved that he helped Maze with Eve to get the wedding back on after their fight.

He didn’t say goodbye to Trixie - again. What a nice step-devil..

It’s been Chloe, Rory and his family since he found out she’s his daughter. Not even mentioning the one kid who probably loved him before even Chloe fell for him.

For someone who is all about free will and led a rebellion against God for it, he was quick to accept that he has a “fate”. I thought he’d find another way, or at least try to. Nope, he just did what his child wanted. And they disguised it at his “choice”. Doesn’t look like a choice to me if your daughter begs you for it and you have to promise it. Just getting along with what your child wants.

Why does everyone need to shoot him? Just cut him until he bleeds. The Americans and their fixation on guns. Nice parallel to Chloe though.

Lucifer trying to fix the relationship to Rory with gifts was so cringey. I don’t know why but I couldn’t watch him sing/dance in that scene.

Both him and Amenadiel didn’t want to become like their Dad because of the reasons stated in S5, yet Lucifer exactly did. Another letdown.

Chloe

As soon as she knew Rory was her and Lucifer’s daughter it was all only about Lucifer and Rory. No thought of Trixie? I understand she was worried about being a bad mother to Rory, but come on, you’re being a bad mother to your first child right now.

She was ready to go to heaven with Lucifer. And Trixie does what exactly without her parents? Living with her Grandma because one of her parent died and the other one is abandoning her? It’s like the writers forgot about Trixie while forcing Rory on us.

The addiction to the necklace got old pretty fast.

And that whole fight against Lucifer felt unnecessary just to add more drama.

She gets mad at Lucifer for not telling her everything while not telling him that she went back to the LAPD. It’s Lucifer, he always has things on his plate. Double moral, pretty much.

She looked so gorgeous at the wedding, oh my god.

Most of the Deckerstar scenes were good. I got tired of the obvious naked cuddle times, surprisingly. Somehow it felt not like the ones in S5 and it bothered me.

I thought Chloe would finally get to know about everything Lucifer did for her, but I didn’t expect her to read it in Linda’s book. And that she only took away that he left her every time they had an emotional breakthrough.

They spend Lucifer’s last day at the beach and once again, no thought of Trixie. I’m sorry I repeat myself here so often. But this whole season wronged Trixie so much.

They face the baddie without any backup. At least get Amenadiel with you.

Other things

The use of music between scenes was too much for me. Got annoying at some point.

I appreciate that they wanted to show us snippets of past Deckerstar scenes but here too, I felt like it was too much.

Couldn’t really follow the timeline. Maybe it were the cuts.

What’s been the point of bringing Adam into the mix? Just to wrap up Maze and Eve’s story? For Linda having another celestial to therapy?

The animation in the Jimmy Barnes Hell loop was AMAZING. I laughed so hard.

I’m not saying that Deckerstar shouldn’t have sacrificed everything for the time loop to stay intact, I say that the whole daughter-time travel plot shouldn’t have had happened. They never even talked about having kids, and then ignore the whole existence of the one kid that’s already there.

I really need all the Michaella fanfics, please. My first ship that’s actually a raft, because they never officially have met. RIP lmao

The acting was great as usual, all my problems come from the writing and the plot.

In the end, I really feel frustrated, underwhelmed and disappointed by the whole season. I didn’t have high expectations other than the same writing quality like S5. My excitement for that Season died as soon as Rory told Lucifer that she’s his daughter, to be honest. I waited for a plot twist that never came. Then the whole time loop shit. I’d rather have waited one more year for S6 if the plot would have made more sense, since this felt like a first draft of a whole other show. And now I wished that S5 would have been the last season. If I could travel back in time, I’d rather not watch S6.

I can honestly live with the fact that Luci and Chloe are in hell, trying to help souls to get to heaven. (But hello, not the murderers perhaps? Or I want Michael sitting on that couch right now.) But the fact that both “chose” to sacrifice their time together with their family and friends just because it’s fate now and parents have to make sacrifices for their children; and anyways there’s an afterlife because (human) life is just a blip in our existence… nah thank you. I do not want it.

I’m probably not gonna rewatch S6 anytime soon.

#lucifer spoilers #lucifer s6 spoilers #lucifer netflix #deckerstar

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luninosity · 3 years

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Okay, so, some Falcon and the Winter Soldier thoughts (will have some spoilers) for episodes two and three. General non-spoilery comment first: I feel like these were both *okay* episodes - neither as good as the first, but I didn’t dislike them, either. I’m still really curious to see how we’re going to wrap this all up in three more episodes; it doesn’t feel like we’re halfway done yet!

Okay, more spoiler-y notes below the Read More, not in any real order, just as I think and type. I’ll probably forget some things, but for now, here’re some thoughts...

--I like ep 3 slightly more than ep 2, mostly because of Zemo!

--I actually really love Zemo here (I liked him in Civil War, too): complex, sardonic, enjoying poking at people, a villain we do feel sympathy for even as he’s still sharp enough to remind us that he is a villain. Daniel Bruhl has always done a fantastic job flipping between calculated cruelty, wry humor - the whole “I am a Baron” moment was great - and pain that for him is still raw, about the loss of his family. (Some things’re awfully cliche - look, the supervillain’s playing chess and reading Machiavelli in his cell? really? - but, y’know...sure. Why not. We expect some cliches in the superhero genre, and this is an inoffensive one.)

--also Zemo dancing. That’s it. That’s everything.

--moving on from that: I’m also really liking how they’re writing John Walker. He does have charm, and there’s a certain amount of sympathy - especially as we see him worrying about filling the Captain America shoes, in ep 2 - but we’re also getting this really subtle sense of wrongness about him. He’s clearly vindictive and angry when things (and people) don’t act according to his mental script for them, and he’s willing to use his name and power to do things like get Bucky released...which in context and given our sympathies for Bucky is a good thing, but...it’s also an indicator of his willingness to do what he wants, because he can. (To be fair, Steve Rogers also often did that! - but Steve earned our trust, both in narrative and character. From his first introduction to WWII leadership experience to all the Avengers stuff, Steve consistently acts to protect people, and he’ll also listen if someone else has a good idea or if someone needs to talk, like with Wanda.) So I’m really liking this slow-fuse character development.

--mixed feelings about Sharon. I love that the show’s acknowledging how much she sacrificed for our main heroes, with no reward. On the other hand, she also clearly knew the consequences that could happen; she said as much at the time. The level of bitterness seems like a lot. But I’m also interested in everything we still don’t know about her - if she’s not the Power Broker herself, she’s obviously Up To Something. So that should be fun.

--hey, look at that X-Men location, with Majipoor! Also a nod to Wolverine’s favorite bar there, I think?

--I love heist and disguise plots!

--I also really like Bucky’s having to revert to the Winter Soldier - Sebastian Stan does it so brilliantly, with so many layers of emotion: not wanting to, loathing it, recognizing the necessity, shutting off all emotion and just coldly doing it, hurting but covering it up...just fantastic, and you know I love some hurt/comfort, and this seems like such a great set-up for emotional hurt

--but! this also seems like...a weird plot hole, kind of? Bucky’s pretty famous at this point, right? I imagine the criminal underworld knows he’s been pardoned and deprogrammed, right? or do they assume Zemo, with his knowledge of Hydra, still has some special control over him?

--along the same “this seems like someone didn’t think this through” path, Sam, you’re a professional, turn off your phone on a mission. Oh my god. Face-palmingly stupid - and I think somewhat lazy writing, as the writers plainly needed a giveaway, and went for the first idea they had. Even if it made a main character look incompetent.

--the Flag Smashers and Karli are...fine. They feel very Generic Marvel Villain - not the big space alien type, but the other type, the “I have a personal loss and motivating pain so I’m a little sympathetic but also Clearly Evil, watch me kill civilians so the audience won’t ever find me TOO sympathetic” type. Meh. Fine. Zemo’s more interesting, but...fine.

--Anthony Mackie is such a fantastic actor - every bit of his reaction to the Isaiah Bradley reveal is so good. The anger, pain, frustration, ferocity...heartbreaking. Actually that whole scene is so good - his emotions at discovering this secret history are palpable, and it’s so painful, because we also understand why Bucky would keep the secret - as someone who knows about pain and trauma and being experimented on, and knowing Isaiah wants to be left alone - we feel really deeply for both characters here, and it’s great.

--I actually liked the abrupt swing from the Isaiah Bradley encounter to the casual everyday racism of the cops on the street - is it subtle, no. But it’s not meant to be: it’s meant to be standing up and shouting about how not that much has really changed, and about how pervasive racism is. I know some reviews were all, “this was just too much!” or “too forced!” but...look, it needs to be shouted sometimes for people to hear.

--Bucky’s notebook being Steve’s, oh, ouch, my feelings. If I had the time and energy to write fic...

--(also, if I had the time and energy to write dark!fic: where’re my fics in which Zemo’s implication about the Winter Soldier “doing anything you want” gets played with? what or who does Bucky have to do to keep the undercover charade going? so many Bad Wrong Kinky power dynamics and explorations of consent and what this would do to Bucky’s head, here, and honestly I’d totally read them all, just saying.)

--Sam and Bucky together...I don’t know. This is one of the elements that I’m not actually a huge fan of, but I think it’s partly a personal genre / sense of humor thing that’s not clicking for me, personally, again. Like...

--I don’t find people shouting aggrievedly at each other to be funny? I’m not sure why it is.

--I mean, I get that they’re doing, like, eighties buddy cop movies, but...it got old really fast then, and it’s not something we needed to bring back. It’s not clever, and it’s...well, shouty and annoying.

--(I say this as someone who genuinely likes the first two Lethal Weapon movies...but the significant difference is, I think, we’re also shown in both those movies that Riggs and Murtaugh care about each other. They don’t want to be partners initially, and they don’t get along initially, and they do argue over tactics**...but they immediately feel responsible for each other and act to protect each other even as they argue, because it’s the right thing to do and we’re shown moments of them awkwardly trying to connect, because they both have that deep sense of...protectiveness...that makes them Good People - like, if they learn something that the other person needs to know, they tell each other. They protect each other’s families / love interests. So by the end of the second movie, with that fabulous character death fake-out, Murtaugh’s initial shock and grief is real and powerful and painful, and so is his genuine relief when the worst isn’t true - and it’s all earned.) (**however, they tend to argue tactics *before* jumping in - “is it 1, 2, 3, go on 3? or 3, then go?” And then once that’s established, they go ahead. That makes a difference as far as...well...competence and teamwork!)

--(Sam and Bucky, as far as I can tell, don’t do the above, and just...maybe shouldn’t be working together?)

--I also don’t find grown men acting like my youngest nephew, when he’s having a temper tantrum, to be funny. Staring contests? Random insults? Sulking in silence? Oh, grow up.

--(Also, yes, writers, we see you with the “couples therapy” and “get closer and make your legs touch” and “landing on top of each other as they hit the ground” moments. I, at least, personally, am very tired of...I don’t know that I’d call it queerbaiting exactly, but this idea that we’re supposed to find these moments funny...because why? Because, ooh, they’re two men getting close to each other, physically or emotionally? Why is this a thing we need to draw attention to? Do you think you’re doing some sort of fan service? Please either make Sam/Bucky happen or stop doing this.)

--both Sam and Bucky are highly competent and professional agents, or they should be. They should know how to work in the field - even with people they may not like - and adapt to shifting strategy, make best use of available assets, include people in the plan, etc. I can’t help but compare this to something like, say, Leverage, which also has a team who mocks each other and makes jokes but clearly absolutely respects each other’s capabilities, has a plan going in and tells everyone what the plan is, and adapts (and trusts each other to adapt) on the fly as necessary, and does it all without random insults about someone’s (PTSD-related) staring and “robot brain”.

--one of the very specific moments that bothers me a lot is the ending of the therapy scene (yay for showing heroes in therapy! but also I’m pretty sure she’s...not a great therapist?). Bucky finally opens up and says something real, about his own self-doubt and wondering whether Steve was wrong about him....and Sam just...brushes it off and goes, “we’re done here,” basically. Not only does that feel wildly out of character for former counselor Sam, it feels cruel. I really deeply dislike that moment the more I think about it. Makes me want to scream.

--Sam insults Bucky way more than the other way around. It’s starting to feel very one-sided (it’d be better if more clearly reciprocal, though it’s still not a dynamic that’s my favorite), and again, feels out of character - maybe this is Anthony Mackie’s sense of humor, but Sam isn’t Mackie, and Bucky isn’t Seb, and it reads as...a weird unbalanced power-trip thing to me. And also out of character for Sam, who can be sarcastic (”If you guys eat that sort of thing,” about breakfast, when Steve and Nat have randomly shown up at his door) but that’s not the same as just throwing unprovoked insults at a person who’s trying to recover from trauma, and a lot of those insults seem to center on things that were done to Bucky, that he had no choice in (the staring, the arm, etc), and that feels....it just feels mean, to me. Make fun of things he’s had a choice in / can do something about, if you have to - hair, clothes, liking “old people’s games” like gin rummy or pinochle, not knowing who Beyonce is, I don’t know, there are so many options that aren’t cruel! Do that instead. Let Bucky have a good comeback for once, too!

--the action scenes are action scenes. Also fine.

--Sam might be right about destroying the shield, and the show may even be (unintentionally?) setting that up as the best outcome, but that’s a problem for the future, Sam; get it back first. Also it’s a problem you caused by giving the shield up - did you really trust the government to leave it unused in a museum? You’re not that naive.

--overall, it’s...a perfectly fine show, so far, I think? Solid, and interesting, but not great. I think some of what doesn’t work for me is because it doesn’t work for me personally, as far as the shouty insult-heavy action “comedy” bits that I’m not enjoying, but I think they’re doing what they aimed for with it, so in that sense, I guess it’s working? There’s a lot of really cool stuff around the edges - John Walker, Isaiah Bradley, that Dora Milaje stinger, the bigger world of a history interwoven with racism and superpowers, the chillingly effective use of Bucky’s past - but I wish I liked the central Sam-Bucky relationship more. Individually they’re wonderful - they’ve both had such powerful scenes dealing with family, trauma, and consequences - but I feel like, in the effort to do the buddy comedy dynamic, the writing has just made me really sure that they actually genuinely don’t like each other? To such an extent that if they show any affection / caring / interest in each other in the last three episodes, it won’t be believable. (I mean Sam and Bucky, not Mackie and Seb. Mackie and Seb’re adorable.)

--I just want to think about Zemo dancing some more.

#the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws spoilers #spoilers #fatws spoilers #thoughts

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morethanithoughtofficialblog · 4 years

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Chapter 23: Don’t be so tough with yourself

In which fights and emotional instability strikes in.

*Sans's POV*

I woke up quite late the next day, rays of sun telling me the present timeline was still there. The smell of warm coffee filled my room, and the bed was a lot less messy than usual. I looked at my left and noticed that, indeed, there was a cup of coffee, companied by a notebook with a lot of writing on the front page. I decided to read it, not before taking a sip to the drink before it got cold.

<<Sans, buddy, I don't think you should continue hiding these things. You are important, you have a family and friends that care about you. You are so young, man! You've been given the chance to go on and start from zero on the Surface, please don't waste it. You are super smart, I can feel it, and you are way more useful than you think.

Please, if not for you, then do it for your family. I bet Papyrus doesn't know anything about your problem. He may know what you have, but not WHY you have it. That's the intimate part, isn't it? I understand you want to keep Papyrus's innocence, but think of yourself at least right now. You are the most important person to your brother (From what I've seen, you guys don't have a close relationship. I am no one to judge, though).

I don't want to pressure you. I just want you to be okay. You have people to rely on- don't waste that opportunity. Maybe you won't tell your parents, I perfectly understand. My parents don't know about my issues either. But you have your brother, friends, and if you ever want to, I'll always be open to hearing what you have to say.

Please, Sans, just be careful.

Because we all really care about you.

(P.D. If you wake up and the coffee's cold, don't hesitate to ask me for more! I'll be downstairs... Papy's probably awake already)>>

I sighed and took the cup with me. I know that what I was doing was so damn wrong, but I was truly afraid of letting go. I'm not happy like this, don't misunderstand, but... it's comfortable. Because it's predictable. And know that I have an unpredictable person in my life, what am I supposed to do?

I got dressed in simple clothes with my favorite hoodie and headed downstairs, where (Y/N) was helping my bro to make Hot Cakes. It smelled amazing, and the loud noise of dishes clacking and Paps's voice gave the house happiness. I noticed the door that leads to the room of my parents was shut down and locked from the inside, and I had the right to assume they arrived in the morning. Why? Because they would have asked about (Y/N)'s belongings on the couch (that now weren't there), about my muffled sobs, or the steps of the girl walking to my room.

"it smells good, guys" I softly commented in order to let them know about my presence. I always did that on the Underground, and I don't mean to change it any time soon.

"OH, HELLO BROTHER!" Papyrus excitedly waved at me, but was drawn by some signs that the human was making in order to get him to return to his duties. I chuckled. "EXCUSE ME, SANS, BUT I MUST NOT GET DISTRACTED WHILE COOKING!"

"Heya Sans!" (Y/N) said not looking at me, too focused on making breakfast. "Hope the coffee wasn't too cold"

"nah, it was perfect" I lazily answered and smiled wider. "i liked it a latte"

Silence dropped in for a few seconds before they realized the joke, receiving a groan and a giggle. I knew perfectly which was from whom.

"Wow" She said between her giggles "I have no words to espresso how awful that pun was"

Papyrus seemed so shocked and horrified that we both ended up laughing like crazy. He groaned louder and started to whine about how dorky we were. When we ended our laughter fit, breakfast was ready, so we sat down and started to eat. It was nice, way better than eating spaghetti all the damn mornings. I love my bro, but pasta... it sometimes makes me feel upsetti...

Heh.

The evening was great until we started to make breakfast puns. Then it became...

eggcellent.

"I SWEAR TO GOD, I'M GOING TO END BOTH OF YOU!" He screamed at some point.

"Wouldn't that make you a..." She started.

"DON'T!"

"Cereal killer?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"nice one, gal" I smirked at Paps's reaction.

"Oh jeez, I wasn't bready for that compliment" Oh my God, she is such a dork.

"wow, that pun was brewtiful"

A lot of puns came later and brightened my day. After a well-deserved breakfast and some other cups of coffee, we finally went to the school I wanted to inscribe Papyrus in. This time we used a freaking GPS and did our best to don't get distracted. Inscriptions' closure was coming and I did not want to leave my brother without school for a whole semester.

Ebott High School was a huge and modern-looking school owned by the same man that owns the university. However, they (supposedly) weren't correlated. I didn't give a damn, though. I just want the best for my bro for this period of his life. He may decide later what he wants...

Ah, the mere thought of he going away and making a new life breaks my heart. Just as he tends to say, what would I do without a cool guy like him taking care of me? I would probably just go on and ruin my life on alcohol and sleepless nights on beds made of bills. I... I need to be more optimistic towards the future, but is hard. Really hard. I have no abilities- only complex feelings that not even I can comprehend.

We entered and made our way to the reception, where (Y/N) did most of the talking. It was better that way since I felt like saying something stupid. Based on the looks that the receptionist was giving us, I could also say that he wasn't happy with us being here, so it was good for me not to say anything.

After some minutes, we entered a room where we would talk about how the process to join the school would go and many clubs that Papyrus could join after the usual schedules. It was going good, everything was going calm and happy. In that stage of the inscription, of course. The next one, on the other hand...

"I can't believe we are letting a monster access our buildings!" An employee shouted to another, who tried to keep a neutral expression and not to punch his partner on the face. "This is the real life, not some 'let's accept everyone' shit!"

"Dude, he has acceptable grades" The other one answered, seemingly bored and used to that bastard's arguments "The skeleton can even have a scholarship! Why should we not accept him?!"

"But he's incompetent!"

"Hey, if you want to say something, say it to our face!" For my surprise, (Y/N) intervened. Looking at her expression I easily noticed how irritated and annoyed she was by this guy's behavior. At least for a moment, she decided not to act shy and defend... well, she wasn't even defending herself! She was defending Papy...

And before I even got to process everything, the fight escalated further.

"You better shut up, you stupid monster whore!" WHAT THE FU-

"Oh, great! Is that all that you have?!" Welp, she snapped quite quickly. But that's how girls are, right? "Your retarded mind lives on the prehistoric age or what?! We are in the twenty-first century, you freaking moron! Are you really that stupid?! Or are you just so full of yourself you simply can't accept others by. their. fucking. looks?!"

...ok...

Maybe that's NOT how girls usually are...

But if it is, then, I must be wary around them from now on.

"You just want to get him in for your own benefit!"

"Oh, really? Tell me what benefits I'm getting at sending my friend to school. Oh, wait, there are none! I just want him to have a good life because I'm his freaking friend! But I don't expect you to understand, of course, since you have none!" Ok, if I have to be honest, I was trying not to be scared of her at this point.

"Oh, you dare to offend me?"

"More like defending what's right! And if that implies calling you every. single. swearword. I'll do it with pleasure!"

"ok, you guys better calm-" We can say that I tried to calm down the situation, but...

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU FUCKING BAG OF BONES!!!"

"WHO THE FUCK YOU CALL A BAG OF BONES, YOU STUPID, UNHAPPY-WITH-LIFE, SLUT!"

...

...it got worse.

"HEY!" Papyrus screamed, and God knows how many decibels that sound made. "STOP OFFENDING EACH OTHER!"

(Y/N) and that unsatisfied dude looked at each other for a brief second (needless to say, with a LOT of hate) and then back at Papyrus.

"SIR..." My bro started, taking advantage of the guy's attention. "IF YOU ARE NOT OPEN TO RECEIVE SOMEONE DIFFERENT THAN YOU AT THESE BUILDINGS, THEN I MUST SAY I AM REALLY DISAPPOINTED. I-"

"Who the hell you think you are to tell me th-"

"Continue talking and I'll rip off your mouth" Ok, girls scare me. A LOT.

"AS... I WAS SAYING, SIR" Papyrus also seemed scared by the cute, shy and anxious girl's sudden behavior. "I THINK THAT, IF SOMEONE WITH A SIMPLE JOB LIKE YOURS WON'T ACCEPT ME MORALLY, THEN I GUESS THERE'S NO POINT IN TRYING TO APPLY HERE"

"..."

"...Papyrus is right" Finally, she calmed down. "If you really don't want to do your job and accept him as a student, just like everybody else, then I guess I can't force you"

She walked to the exit door and, without a word, we followed her. We three perfectly knew that more words won't make him change his mind. And less if know he was angry with the only human keeping us company.

"Have a good day, sir" And with that, the violent meeting that I never expected to see (less today) ended. We walked out of the school and walked a few meters before I heard the girl sigh.

"I'm... I'm sorry, guys" She gave us a sad, weak smile. She looked like she wanted to beat herself to death. The guilt in her eyes was so unbearable that I had to look away. "I... I probably messed up"

The thing is, that she could have taken it better. I didn't know what to tell her, because she could have cooled down in the first place. As must as I wanted to tell her something good... nothing came out at the moment.

"IT'S NOTHING, HUMAN" Papyrus gave her a smile in return but his had pride and joy. "YOU WERE JUST DEFENDING US! I AM ACTUALLY FLATTERED BY YOUR ACTIONS!"

"But I behaved horribly..." It seemed like the guilt would never disappear. "I could have acted better, not saying swears, goddamnit! But I... I lost my cool... I'm truly sorry"

We remained in silence for a bit. It was becoming more and more painful, and I didn't want her to beat down herself after this incident, so I decided to make a move.

"hey... we all lose our cool sometimes, right?" I smiled weakly, trying to lighten up her expression at least a bit. It didn't work. I sighed and continued, not having any other reasonable choice. "that guy acted like such a bastard to us and to you, (y/n). you just defended yourself, and unfortunately, that's something that we all have to do some time or another. that guy didn't deserve mercy from someone like you. you did the right thing"

"But not the way I-"

"stop livin' in the past, kid" I bet it was easy to notice the worry in my eyes and how my smile was shaking. "you behaved differently from the usual, that's why you feel weird. but you did good"

"...Are you sure?"

"ABSOLUTELY!" Ah, Papyrus. Always cheerful, no matter what.

"T-thanks... so we... are we still f-friends?"

Wait, did she really think she would lose us because of that?

"OF COURSE, HUMAN! YOU CAN NOT GET RID OF US THAT EASILY!"

She smirked, dropping a few tears when she closed her eyes.

She... she was THAT scared?

"So I... I guess we'll search for another school, then?" She smiled way brighter, and I felt way more at ease.

"I GUESS SO, HUMAN" Papyrus was still smiling with pure joy... how does he do that?

"if... if you don't want to be there, kid, we will understand" I bluntly said, not really thinking before talking. Thankfully, she didn't take it the wrong way.

"H-hey! If I'm not there, then who'll be the human that'll mess up with the bastards?!" She laughed eagerly and, without thinking of anything else, I smiled as well. Seeing her so relieved and calmer was nice- I couldn't do much but to give her a smile in return.

"nice" I smirked. "let's go grab some grub right now, k?"

"SANS! WE ATE LESS THAN AN HOUR AGO!"

"i know. and it's killin' me"

To my delight, she laughed at our conversation. To hear her like that rather than rambling about her "mistakes" puts an idiotic smile on my face. It's so weird.

Ok, calm down Sans.

She's a friend.

There's no way you could-

"Hey, Sans" She smiled sweetly, the gaze in her eyes softening "You've been quiet for a while... is there something wrong?"

...

Shit.

"nah, don't sweat it" My wink was as fake as my confidence... heh. "just thinkin' of somethin'"

"IS THAT SO?" I know this makes me a really messed up big brother, but... for an instant, I forgot about Papy's existence... I'm such an idiot. "MAY WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT, BROTHER?"

Oh hell no.

"nope"

"C' MON!"

"no"

"Sans, hey..." Oh no, not her. Please don't beg me, please, please! "You can tell us anything, okay? I... must admit I am a bit curious, but if it's something deeply personal, then we'll understand..."

And there it was, that so sweet smile of hers.

This is becoming so stupid.

I wanted to forget about it, but it's not easy to forget someone WHEN THAT PERSON IS IN FRONT OF YOU.

"Hey..." God, I remained silent again, didn't I? "Are... are you-"

"i'm fine, don't worry about me...?" Idiot! Why did it come as a question?!

"...You sure?"

"definitely" Wow, that didn't sound suspicious at all, you freaking moron "i'm just a bit... overwhelmed, we can say, for all the sudden changes of these last months"

Well, at least I didn't lie...

I mean, I did, but at the same time, I didn't...

This day should have been called "The day where Sans is more idiotic than usual".

We ended up going to a café to calm down (and to not get back home, since Papyrus didn't want to) and have a drink. Since we didn't succeed in getting him into the school, there weren't now any plans. Just a normal hangout, I guess. It was becoming more difficult to concentrate on the chat they were having, and my mind being a bitch, it decided to think more of... how she is. Why? I have NO FUCKING IDEA.

It's... funny. Funny how she, a human with the capacity to have it all, it's so nervous to show confidence at all. She doubts all her decisions, she thinks she's not good at all, and that no one would truly... like her by the way she is.

I remember that, when I was younger, I used to believe I could do it all. That one day, even, I would free everyone from the Underground. I'm still confident about who I am, and even if I'm lazy and a good for nothing... I'm happy. What scares me is that the kid decides to take away that happiness from me. But overall, I like my life. She, on the other hand, doesn't. And I don't know why...

I want to know why...

Looking at her, the bright smile she had when talking to Papy, the sweet tone of her voice when she asks for anything, and the pleasant light of her eyes... it's not easy to hate yourself when you simply don't have many reasons to. Her shy personality, the way she stutters when she realizes she's being passionate about something, her humble attitude... she is great overall. She has a great heart, why she has self-doubt? Or depression, even?

I'm starting to think too much about this.

I noticed awfully late that I was staring at them, and I looked away when their eyes were already on me. I stared, instead, at my untouched glass of Coke.

"BROTHER?" Oh no. "ARE YOU OKAY? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE HAVING A ROUGH TIME"

"You've been awfully quiet, Sans..." Shit... "Are you sure you are okay?"

"...yeah" I'm so stupid! Yay! "i'm okay, really. just... i was just thinking"

"AGAIN?" Shit, I used the same excuse.

"yep"

They looked at each other for a brief second, back at me, then sighed (surprisingly at the same time).

"sorry" I started, feeling guilty of the worry they had in their looks "i'm just... i'm really just thinking, it's just... weird. my mind's been acting weird lately. and i'm dealing with that"

Wow, I finally said the truth.

"...I see" She smiled again, and I swear to God I. FUCKING. BLUSHED. "It's okay, Sans. We all have our days when our mind seems different, right? With all the changes you guys are having... I bet it's been quite something, isn't it? And, uh... more with what happened earlier, I suppose"

"YEAH, IT'S BEEN WEIRD LATELY" Papy admitted, surprising me a bit. "ESPECIALLY WITH SANS. HE'S NOT ACTING AS HE USED ON THE UNDERGROUND... HE ACTS MORE LIKE WHEN HE WAS ONLY WITH ME AT HOME. HE DIDN'T USE TO SHOW HIS FEELINGS AS MUCH AS HE DOES NOW" Is that so?

"maybe you are right, bro" I winked, trying to put aside my weird feelings and thoughts. "anyway, eh... do you think they'll have any limes here?"

"Limes or lemons?"

"limes"

(Y/N) called out a waitress and asked for limes and... guacamole.

"guacamole?" I raised an "eyebrow" (not sure what to call 'em).

"I'm... I 'm hungry, ok?"

"OH MY GOD, WE ATE LESS THAN TWO HOURS AGO"

"I know, that's why I hate it"

"can we have some?"

"SANS!"

"Sure, you can take however you want"

"I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD TELL SANS THAT" My brother (wisely) adviced her. "OR ELSE HE WON'T LEAVE YOU A SINGLE BIR OF IT!"

We both chuckled, and more when the guacamole arrived instantly. Papyrus looked irritated, but as must as he won't admit it, he also took some guacamole now and then. We started to talk about which other schools would be great for him, but it turned out that not even the girl knew too much about it. I suddenly felt how an unnoticeable headache disappeared and my head cleared into the conversation.

And if you are going to ask me "hey, Sans, are you going to use this weird headache as an excuse?" then let me tell you that YES.

"I wasn't born here, you know..." She, again, smiled. And I was trying to calm down, of course. "I'm from a city that is a bit far from Ebott"

"REALLY?" My brother, too, was interested. "HOW FAR?"

"Probably five hours... or maybe a bit less"

"since when you are here, then?"

"Since I was eighteen, I have now four years studying and working here" She continued calmly. like if she was waiting for anyone to ask her about this. Oh lord, isn't she lonely? I pity her. "By that reason, I only started university here... that's maybe why I don't know a lot of high schools around here. I know more about kindergartens, though"

K-kindergartens?

Why would she search for kindergartens?!

Does...

Does she...?

"why?"

"An ol' friend I know since middle school has a kiddo, and I've been trying to help Miranda to have her signed into a good school"

I wanted to sigh out in relief but I realized it would be WAY too weird, so I didn't.

"OH!" Papyrus seemed delighted to hear about a little kid, I guess. "CAN WE MEET THE HUMAN CHILD?"

"Of course!" (Y/N), as well, seemed delighted with the idea to present the kid to us "She is really nice and creative, and my friend is pretty good!"

Now I really sighed this time, not truly wanting to deal with kids. However, they looked pretty enthusiastic about it... I knew my thoughts would not matter. I just hope that the little girl doesn't get scared, or else Papyrus will feel bad with himself. Also, because I don't want to make an early Halloween (and yes, I know about that sick festive day humans do every October. It makes me want to die).

"MIRANDA IS YOUR FRIEND?"

"Ah, yes. And her child is called Miriam"

"WOWIE! I HOPE WE REALLY CAN MEET HER!"

"Yep, I hope so too" She looked at her cellphone for barely two seconds and sighed, seemingly in relief. Then her eyes focused on the empty bowl of guacamole and my empty glass of Coke with a hell lot of limes. "I suppose... I suppose w-we are done eating, right?"

"really? i thought we were getting started" I joked, getting out a small giggle from her and a light groan from my brother.

"WE ARE DEFINITELY OVER WITH THE EATING FOR NOW!" My grumpy brother glanced at me and, naturally, I winked.

"Ok, eh..." She fidgeted a bit, showing a shy smile... how many times I have mentioned her smile by now? "Do you want to, uh, hang out for a bit? I think it's a bit, you know, uh... late for searching a school?"

"i agree"

"YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING, SANS!" He scolded me, getting another of my famous winks as a response. "BUT YEAH! WE WILL SURELY BE GLAD TO HANG OUT WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!"

I nodded and we all headed out of the café to go to... wherever. We walked through the streets, hearing the complaining of Papyrus when he saw most of the people on a car. One of Papy's goals is to ride a red convertible, the sun hitting his skin, and the air moving his hair.

Of course, most of it will never happen, but... he sure can have a car. We just don't have enough money.

Oh. That brings me to another point.

I need to get a fucking job.

Gaster, suspiciously, has not been gaining enough money on his nice job. Arial, I don't know what the hell she is doing, and I don't want Papyrus to put his studies aside. I need to get a job, any job I could ever think of. Money is money, whatever we gain will help.

We ended up going to a park, where we gained a couple of stares...

Actually, we got a lot.

Fortunately, (Y/N) seemed to control her irritation this time, so even if other people would try to search a fight, we remained calm. Instead of shouting, she just was sarcastic, but we never got into anything bigger. We sat under a tree, away from people, just talking about any topic. Papyrus and I would constantly ask about the Surface. She, on the other hand, would ask about the Underground. It was nice, and we remained there until eight pm.

"Ah, jeez..." She said when she looked at the time. "I think I should be getting home by now"

"BUT HUMAN, YOU CAN STAY ONE MORE DAY WITH US!" He looked so disappointed it was becoming clearly difficult for her to deny.

"Sorry, Paps" She sadly looked at him, trying to convince him. "I have work tomorrow"

"well..." Oh my God, what are you doing?! "can we at least go with you?"

She looked at me a bit taken-back, my nervousness increasing with every passing second. Papyrus seemed eager with the idea to go with her, so he helped me convince her.

"YES HUMAN!" Nice excuse, bro. "WE SHALL GO WITH YOU!"

"Ah, I... isn't it a bit late?"

"that's exactly what we mean, kid"

"YES, HUMAN! IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE!" Why do I feel like I've heard that line before?

"We will need to take the subway, though..."

"no problemo"

"Oh... ah, ok! If you insist..." She may not admit it, but she had a goofy grin on her face. She seemed so eager about it- about not going alone.

Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddd........ Papyrus squealed so loud I almost thought I turned deaf. I may not have ears, but gosh, that really hurt.

"IT IS SETTLED, THEN!" He struck a heroic pose he used to do a lot on the Underground. "OFF WE GO!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Your POV*

I don't know why, but the skelebros insisted to go with me to my home. Sans had a calm expression, but Papyrus was really impatient about my answer. After answering yes, he made the loudest squeal that the Earth has ever heard.

We got away from the partially calm environment of the park and went through the city streets, busy as always. Ah, this urban life... I absolutely hate it. It's so monotone that it depresses me every day. It's so boring I can't do much but fantasize about how the Underground could have been. A place with different people, where almost everybody knew each other and the day-by-day events did not involve stupid contamination and cliché campaigns.

Talking about my daily routine, after some minutes we arrived at the subway that tends to take me home every day I go out. As usual, the place was as full as a bar on a messed up weekend. People either coming out from work or carrying their tired kids, the subway stations have become like my second home. For groceries, for work, for even visiting a friend... I go there almost every day, unless I decide to stay home. But that usually doesn't happen.

The glances were there, just like in the park. Judging glances with every step we took, it didn't matter how tired everyone was... they just looked. Hate, amusement, disappointment... no wonder why this world is so fucked up. I didn't say anything for our sake, but I really wanted to kill everyone in the place (except the skeletons) and then myself. However, I should not lose control of myself like that again.

I felt somewhat guilty for having both of the skeletons by my side, when they could have been relaxing on their own home at that precise moment. I must admit, though, that I appreciated the company. Papyrus kept me entertained with various experiences of his past and Sans cracked occasionally a joke or two. It became less unbearable, and the glances soon stopped to be a burden.

Before I could tell, we were already at my station. We went out of the subway and headed to my little old apartment. The younger brother insisted on being with me until I arrived safely, and the older brother just went along with it. Just a step inside the "living room" and I remembered that episode on the bathroom... about the mirror, I mean!

I'm a fucking mess.

When they left me, teleported by Sans's skills, the loneliness hit me. I started to do my usual night ritual, but it felt really odd. Like... like if I haven't done it before.

God, I miss my old life. When I was a freaking kid with no cares in this world.

I miss my father.

I miss my friends.

I miss...

I miss my home.

I miss it so much.

I looked over the place and realized how messy it was. Papers on the main and small table, a weird ball of blankets on top of my bed, a lot of fast food trash on the couch, tons of dishes in the kitchen, and dry blood on the bathroom. Everything was disorganized, no signs of the girl I used to be when I was still studying. When I was still with him.

I went to my closet, which unsurprisingly had bunches of clothes accumulated, and searched for my old cellphone. I was feeling so nostalgic and blank that I needed to remind myself what was real and what wasn't. I was so sad that I wanted a reason to stop thinking of the present and cling on the past.

Sans's words hit me: "Stop living in the past". It is so true about myself that it hurts. It hurts a lot.

I use to think about my past a lot- the mistakes I made, the happy moments I had, my past nightmares, my old ambitions... it is so strange how things changed so quickly. How I stopped being that cheerful kid and started to be this always-tired woman.

After some tough research, I found that cellphone I got when I was about to leave middle school. Ah, that day. I was so happy I took like two hundred photos in less than an hour, most of them starring my smiling dad and me.

Tears fell down my face when I got to see those photos again. Each of one reminded me of phrases he used to tell me. Of how proud he was of me. Of how hopeful he was towards the future. MY future.

He promised me so many times that I was going to become the best scientist in all the world. That I would be the difference. That I would change everything and be the hope for a lot of people. And now, I'm not even the hope of myself. I can't even look at the mirror and stop myself from cringing of what I see. A stupid, messy, horrible human that has done nothing but destroy herself.

Sniffs turned into sobs as the time passed and the images showed. There were also photos of my favorite restaurants, of Miranda and me, of all the projects I was proud of, of my baseball cards, of my three-year-old drawings... of my proud and happy expression. It was so heartbreaking to think I was her. I was that child with bright (e/c) eyes and lively smile. That kid that used to play baseball pretty good and had an unhealthy but wonderful obsession with the Red Sox players. That child... that smart and productive child.

Sobbing turned into crying when a photo of my mother and me showed up. Ah, that woman- I loved her so much before she turned her back on both of us. Before she started to fight with dad about everything. Before she told me everything was my fault. That nostalgic picture, she carrying me with the proudest smile and me kissing her cheek with a proud smile.

It hurts so much.

It hurts.

It hurts...

I wished someone else could understand why.

Why, out of everything that has happened, I'm mostly only proud of who I once was.

Why those smiles I showed mean more to me than anything.

Why my eyes seem so different.

wHy i hATE mE SO mUCh.

More photos of the three of us were there. It was so painful to notice the genuineness in our expressions. Of how wonderful and innocent our happy times were. Of how we supported each other in the hard days. Of how, even if the day was bad, we gathered together and played, laughed, hugged...

I wanted to scream. To let out all the pain and go back to that small, cheerful world. As much as I try to be happy and proud of what I'm doing now, my mind continues to shout that I did better on the past and that it doesn't matter how hard I try, because I will never be that kid again. Now I have people that try to support me. I have people that, indeed, are trying to help me get through this. Hell, I even know someone that has that same feeling of dread.

I remembered how helpless Sans looked the day before, of how devoid of hope he seemed. How desperate he was for having someone, ANYONE, to hold him and tell him that is okay to cry. It's... it's funny. It's so funny how he is a happy comedian to everyone on the outside, but the inside is more than that.

This is not a joke.

This is not a FUCKING JOKE.

That's the life of a desperate monster we are talking over here. Of a devastated brother that tries to help him in any way. Of an oblivious mother that will soon regret leaving him alone. Of a disappointed father that will shed tears if he finds out what he had done.

While I'm crying, a lot of people are, too. Their tears, like mine, remain lost in the never-ending darkness that their life has become. Silent screams that they need to say out loud, but they can't. Because they are alone. They feel alone, as much as I do. Or even worse. And thinking that someone is in a worse situation than I am... it's not recomforting. It truly isn't.

I changed my clothes into my usual pajama. I did my nightly ritual, just as I do every day. But this time, I stood in front of the broken mirror, looking at the distorted version of me it reflects. I put my sleeves up only to reveal all the cuts I created. It looked like a sad painting of someone trying to escape.

And that's exactly what I am right now.

#more than i thought #more than i thought fanfiction #sans x reader #sans #x reader #chapter 23

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zalk909192 · 5 years

Text

Bluff

AfuHiru Month - 21.08.19

Day Five_ Bluff Rating_ Mature? But a light one. Again. What’s in here?_ bad words, a lot of money, gambling au, sexual tensione, only hiruma pov, a bit of mamori/megu bc yes Ao3 here, folks (Prompt List) by Nene~

« As you already know, gambling is a form of art. » He was shuffling the deck. « The stakes are 100% irrelevant. » A riffle, then a perfect cascade. « The cards are like a body, you have to know how to touch them. » Then some apparently sloppy overhands, he yawned and he covered his mouth with the right hand. The deck was shuffled anyway with just the left one. He wasn't even left-handed, but his long fingers seemed to be made to touch and seduce the cards of that particular deck. But let's admit it; his hands seemed to be able to seduce so much more. He had a strange grin on his face: it wasn't a real grin, it wasn't a real smile. Maybe it was fake, maybe it wasn't. Maybe he was just looking at the cards with love and respect, maybe he was looking at you with arrogance and defiance. But his hands were in love with the cards for sure. « What's your favourite card, pretty thing? » « Ace of Hearts. » He laughed and dropped the card on the table, a perfect line of fifty-four cards, with all the figures in plain sight but one. With his right hand, he flipped the cards in a single effortless motion, just a finger. The covered card was now in sight and it was the Ace of Spades. « And when art isn't enough. » He took the Ace from the deck, moving it in the had and shaking fluidly a little, his grin was more joyful than before, he really enjoyed that moment. « Here comes some magic. » He placed the card on the table and he nodded at the girl in front of him. She hesitated for a moment, confused, then she flipped it. It was an Ace of Hearts, swapped with the other ace with a quick movement of his fingers in and out of a pocket of his silver suit. A show-off. The show-off, because that night the stakes were too high to fuck around the table like he usually did. The casino asked him to be the dealer because the woman in front of him was a professional gambler, Taki Suzuna, but she had an immaculate reputation and the administration had nothing against her. Too good even to be kicked out. She was tricky. She was girlish and innocent and she was too happy for being a cheater. She was difficult to read and her acts were even more difficult to predict. He was there to make her play safe and sound, 'cause he was the best gambler of the house, the city, probably the entire world, but who knows. That simple color change was one of the finest tricks to prove his skills, since nobody -net even Suzuna, he could tell- had seen it coming. He was too fast, too precise and too good to be seen. Even if a color change is really a simple and predictable magician trick. Suzuna smiled at him with his eyes bright as stars, thrilled because she couldn't see it and now she was even more curious than before about the game. « Can't wait, Hiruma-nii~ » Hiruma smiled back with his unusual grin and opened a new deck to restart the shuffling, more precise than ever. He looked at the other players. Anezaki Mamori, an affectionate of the casino, Hiruma knew her very well. He was a hard gamer, but not a cheater. She liked to win only on strategy and luck, but she was a very good friend of Suzuna. She was the one who made up the game. She was ready to have fun, Hiruma could see it: she was stretching her thin fingers too much. Raimon Natsumi, the beauty of the clubhouse. She was either a pretentious one or a lesbian, he couldn't know, but a pretty decent player indeed. Mikado Anna, at last. Because Anna was the rich one and Mamori well knew that high stakes were important to have a game worthy of its name. And Anna, he had to admit, had a pair of eyes so cold that reading them was a hard task. Hiruma didn't like her so much, but he understood why the casino asked him to deal with the four of them. They probably could have destroyed the clubhouse and each other, if left by themselves or with some incompetent. Like Clifford Dickhead Lewis, for example. He caressed the cards and they were in front of the player in no time. Classic poker, all against all until all against the house when all of their money would be be in his hands. Hiruma wasn't scared at all. - He was doing the math better than ever. The game was on for at least two hours and at that table, everybody was losing and winning like crazy. The wheel of fortune was spinning too fast, so fast that Natsumi was classy enough to leave before a total defeat. Hiruma had let her run away, she was such a conscious girl. His spot was empty, but all of the other ladies said they were still on. Hiruma was pretty happy to open the fourth deck of the evening. The stakes were huge. Mamori was trembling inside, knowing she hadn't all of that money with her. Or in her bank account. Well, she was hoping deep inside, that Hiruma would have been kind like he was with Natsumi, but she wasn't too sure. Hiruma was unpredictable, after all. And he was an official croupier of the house and he had to, at least, seem clean and absolutely impartial. Even if some reasonable doubts were floating around the table. Even if it should have been impossible for him to cheat. It should have. But bluffing was all his life. The secret of bluffing, and even cheat, is not only to do it well enough. It's understanding and knowing when you can bluff. It's distracting your ally and your enemy, it's buffing when nobody can expect it. Of course, he cheated, he was there to do it. And to do it so well nobody could see it. But exactly at the moment all the people in the room were expecting him to cheat or bluff, he didn't at all. And he could know it by doing the math well. Because yes, he read people and he wasn't so good at it, but his calculus didn't need to. And it wasn't about counting the cards. Everybody knows that only the Black Jack is the game in which counting makes the difference. It was about statistics. He was a living algorithm, one of the most difficult and complex to understand, his lie was absolute. Or so he believed. After some hands, something happened. Hiruma was too absorbed in the game to give attention to the surrounding, so he didn't mind about the spectators that were around the table. He had almost forgotten the empty spot and when he saw someone taking the seat while he was shuffling again, he stopped for a second with a dangerous but seraphic and crooked smile. « Welcome. Stakes are pretty high by now. I have to ask you if you have enough to open. » It was strange that someone was willing to enter a game already settled. Hiruma didn't fear anything, but it was interesting. The new player was a young man with blonde hair and red eyes, but he had a strange feeling of deja vu looking at him. Something in his inside trembled with expectation noticing his posture, his hands, his cunning smile. It was a delight after hours of boobs and mascara. He was wearing a blue suit and Hiruma had never seen him there. A newbie? No, too distinct to be one. « I don't have fiches with me. I didn't think I could find something worth my attention. Can you guarantee for me? » The new guy took a checkbook, he signed it and gave it with a smile. Hiruma took it and a shiver went down his spine looking at him again when their eyes and their hands met. Hiruma melted in an almost ferocious sneer. A six-figure payout. It was unexpected. « Of course I can. The change is ten thousands a fiche. I'll give you the first 70 on the spot and the others at need. Can we know your name while someone brings us your goods? » Behind him, a boy took the paper and run fast to get the fiches. « Afuro Terumi. It's a pleasure. » « The pleasure is ours, Terumi-kun! I can bet your presence will spice up the game! » Suzuna laughed and started a little bit of a conversation in which Hiruma wasn't interested at all. He was an interest in Afuro Terumi. He observed him like he was hypnotized by his gestures. He was starting to reading him and it was too easy. Afuro Terumi was the best liar he has ever met. Then, fiches, gambling, bets, hands. Suzuna asked to change the game after a while, Mamori was tired and pointed at her girlfriend to take her place for a bit. Tsuyumine Megu took her spot happily. Hiruma knew that Suzuna was saving Mamori asking for the game Megu preferred; Texas Hold'em. Afuro was losing his money, but he was too calm. The house continued to win and Hiruma was confused: he knew Afuro had some damn good hands. He served him, he was well aware of the card he gave without being explicit. Afuro wanted to lose. Hiruma was dying to know what else he was plotting. His heart was racing faster, even if it didn't affect his duty as a dealer. Hiruma stopped the cheating when he understood the truth: Afuro knew. Of course, he couldn't have any shreds of evidence, but Hiruma stopped to choose the cards for them and Afuro started to win. Not because he could, but because he wanted to. Hiruma was defeated, but he didn't mind at all. It was the best game he has ever had. And when Afuro asked to change the game again in favor of Black Jack Hiruma held his breath. Anna, at that point, was out of the game. Megu and Suzuna saw the opportunity to count and win and gladly accepted the change. Hiruma went nuts. If he could have done it, he would have kissed both of them on the forehead. His smile was still impeccable, but his eyes were ready to fight Afuro. Like croupier, he had the upper hand and he was going to crush- « Don't you think, after all of this time, Hiruma-san should play with us? I think it's our last game, anyway. We can ask somebody else to be our dealer. Right, girls? » Fuck. « That's marvelous! Please, Hiruma-nii, join us! » Megu refused, scared by his reputation, but Mamori was ready to take her place again. Hiruma looked at her and understood that Mamori knew him so well to know he would have died to play against the new gay in the right way. And she was asking, like a player and not like a dealer, to have mercy on her. Hiruma smirked at her. Granted. « I can't refuse, then. » So much money on the table, but he could cover it. Black Jack was his game. Black Jack was the real joy in the gambling world. And when all of the players can count, only the best bluffer can win. Or the best cheater. The house had won so much, anyway, that none of his bosses could have ever complained about that unplanned course of events. He took the seat between Suzuna and Afuro and the scent of Afuro hit him for the best. It was hours that a part of his mind was thinking about fucking him, hard, fantasizing about taking him on the card table pulling his long hair and biting his neck until he could taste his blood. Afuro was reading him, Afuro was making him hot just dong it without in silence. Nobody had ever read him like that. Reiji Maruko was the dealer because Hiruma looked him in the eyes with the clear intent to kill if he didn't offer himself faster than Lewis. Maruko obliged. Mamori and Suzuna were cut out in a matter of seconds. Not because they weren't playing, but because they were irrelevant. Hiruma knew their acts like his own and like a player, he had no mercy. Mamori was the first to retreat, but with still some pride. Suzuna was out after three other hands and, talented or not, Lady Luck wasn't been too kind with her and she had to leave with no hard feelings at all: that was so much fun, after all. Hiruma looked at Afuro directly for the first time since the start of the game. He knew he was going to win the last round. He could feel it and he was waiting for Afuro to finally step back. Afuro looked in his eyes and smiled. « I've lost. » Hiruma grinned felling hot on the inside. He had to suppress his imagination and he just slammed his fist on the table letting out fr a solid second all the emotions he felt during the game. The worst and the best thing was that he suspected... with that man had been a damn waste of energy. He almost missed the gentle, but enthusiastic, the applause of their audience. He won the battle, but he lost the war. Afuro waited until the people starting to go away from the table, Maruko was quick to leave with just a glance at the two. « You were incredible. » « And you lost at least five hundreds of thousands of dollars. You are welcome. » He was bluffing again, with a smile over the grin, over his excitement. Afuro laughed softly and lean near him looking in his eyes. « You know I read you all the time, right? » It should have pissed Hiruma, but actually... « It was nice to be read. » The silence between them was so tense, so full of words. Afuro dared to put a hand on his thigh, just a breath away from him at last. « It would be nice to be fucked. » Just a whisper in his ear and Hiruma could have sense another shiver through his body. « Meet me in one hundred seconds in front of the wardrobe. » Afuro couldn't help but sighed a little, then he returned to normal with a peaceful smile on. What a damn perfect liar he was. « Don't be late, then. » « Don't worry. I can count. » « I know. » Hiruma looked at him went as nothing happened and Hiruma stayed still for some seconds. He knew. Nobody had ever said something so seductive to him. And he couldn't believe his luck.

#afuhirumonth2019 #afuhiru #afuro terumi / hiruma yoichi #afuro terumi #hiruma yoichi #eyeshield 21 #inazuma eleven #tsuyumine megu #anezaki mamori #taki suzuna #mikado anna #raimon natsumi #reiji maruko #clifford d. lewis

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potions-and-potters · 6 years

Note

Hello Lilly! Can you do an imagine where Snape punishes a careless student who failed to turn in their homework with all his sarcastic snark?

Hi! So sorry for the late reply! Here is that imagine for you! Hope you like it!

Your Girding Potion was a very bright blue. It was bordering cyan at this point. Meanwhile, your classmates’ potions were all going from silver to red. Something was obviously wrong. You had no idea what because it seemed you were also the only student in class that didn’t do that bloody essay.

Here’s the thing: you had planned to do the essay. You had. You really really had! But then some Gryffindor had whipped out a supposed extreme version of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans and you had to prove Slytherin had just as much bravery in its house. Everyone knew Gryffindors were less brave than they were reckless so with your cunning, ambition, and bravery, you were sure to win. AND YOU DID! You just.. sort of… ended up losing track of time and not doing your essay. But it was for house pride! Besides, you’d never heard of Professor Snape taking points from his own house so you were fine surely.

Your now definitely cyan potion was starting to bubble and spit in its cauldron. You had to do something. Snape might not have raked you over the coals for your homework but he sure as hell would if you exploded his classroom.

Frantically, you look around to see what your classmates are doing. Some of them were just waiting while others were adding stuff. What was it?

The sound of a chair pushing back had your eyes snapping to the front. Snape was about to make a round of the classroom. Luckily his first stop was always the Gryffindors. That meant you’d have time and he’d be in a better mood after taking some points from them.

You could do this.

You glance to your left, watching the other Slytherin fourth years. A girl next to you appears at her cauldron with some kind of measurement of something.

“Hey,” you whisper, glancing to Snape to see where he was. He was sneering at a Gryffindor. You turned your attention to the girl who seemed to have been checking on the same thing.

“What?” she asked

“What’s the next step?”

Snape’s footsteps indicating he was moving on. Two more workbenches of Gryffindors and he’d be onto this side of the room.

Your housemate tilted her measure casually, allowing you to get a sneak peak. Toasted dragonfly thoraxes. Right. You quickly go to the supply closet. How much should you put in? How much did she have? Was that a cup? Half?

Snape was onto the Slytherins now. Panicking, you grabbed a measuring cup and scooped it full, not bothering to check what it was. Surely your housemate would help you.

You rushed back to your cauldron. Your potion was turning into goo now. Was this normal? Could you save it? You probably should have at least read the chapter assigned to you last week.

Snape’s footsteps were heading your way so you begged Merlin and all thing magical in the world to help you out this one time and you dumped your entire measurement of toasted dragonfly thoraxes right into the cauldron and started stirring like mad.

Please work, you begged silently.

“Miss Y/L/N,” Professor Snape drawled behind you and you all but froze.

“Yes, sir?”

“Are you making Girding potion or scrambled eggs because I am quite sure beating it was nowhere in my directions. But then again, I have been a Potions Master for only fifteen years so what do I know.”

“Just trying to really incorporate those dragonfly thoraxes, sir,” you reply with a charming smile.

“Well, if you incorporate them anymore they’ll want to start a union.”

You don’t say anything. Instead, you just look down at your potion. It’s turned silver! And they say potions is hard. You smile and smirk up at him.

“That’s fine by me as long as the work gets done, which it obviously has been,” you say gesturing to your cauldron.

Snape looks into it, cocking an eyebrow.

“You call that silver? And here I thought Hogwarts had yearly eye exams.”

“You could practically stake a vampire with this!”

“You would know that then? You are remarkably like a vampire, miss Y/L/N. You truly suck the life out of everything. Just look at what you’ve done to this potion.”

You frowned. It was a little more grey than silver but it wasn’t that bad! Besides at least you’d saved it from the disastrous goop it was becoming.

“I doubt you could salvage that. Not because your potions talent resembles that of a drunken weasel, though that’s certainly a contributing factor.”

You opened your mouth to reply but snapped it shut as Snape simply walked away to continue his round.

Right. You’d show him. Your potions grades might not be that great and you might not do your homework all that often but it wasn’t like this was hard! Have a recipe. Follow the recipe. Make a potion. The end.

Just because he couldn’t get the Defense job didn’t mean he had to go around acting like potions was so dangerous and mysterious. He literally wrote the directions on the board for Merlin’s sake.

Speaking of directions, next step was to turn up the heat. You carelessly turned the heat all the way up. Hotter would heat it faster which means you’d be a step ahead. Then he could stick that up his arse. You’d be done first and perfectly well.

You glared up at his back as he made his way to the front of the room.

“Y/N, watch out!” your housemate next to you yelled just as your potion belched out a huge cloud of metal grey air and grey slime pinged out of the cauldron in a spitting explosion. Everyone ducked for cover, yelling and abandoning their own potions as they tried to get to safety.

Snape stopped mid-stride as the explosion went off behind him. You stood there in shock, splattered with the destruction of your potion. You looked up at him, too taken aback to speak.

“I didn’t know it would do that, I swear!”

“You stupid girl,” he growled as he charged towards you. His wand was out before anyone had yet come out from cover and he vanished the mess with a flick of his wrist. Including the mess on you.

“It’s not my fault, Professor!” you said, as he glared at you. “Will- Will I be okay?”

“At least you’ve saved me the trouble of reading your homework as there’s no way you could have earned a passing grade if you had to ask that question,” he said, staring down at you.

“I didn’t do my homework…”

Snape frowned, unimpressed. His black eyes boring into yours.

“And why not?” he asked slowly, crossing his arms.

“I was busy.”

Blank surprise followed by not just one but both eyebrows arched, nearly up to his hairline. Then, narrowed eyes and a tight-lipped expression was looking back at you.

“You…were…” he articulated, even slower than before, “busy.”

The classroom was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. People had come out of their hiding, too fascinated with the exchange happening between you and Snape to care about the state of their potions.

“I suppose you didn’t bother to read the chapter I assigned you?”

Your heart was beating fast. You weren’t used to having so much of his attention. Or it being this intense.

“Well?”

“No,” you muttered.

“What was that?”

“No,” you squeaked.

“No what?”

“No, sir.”

Snape watched you for a second.

“Where is it you think you went wrong today to land you in the position of being such a pathetically terrible potioneer or does it go all the way back to walking into this school four years ago? After all, not all witches or wizards have the capability to do something as simple as reading a book. Especially for someone such as yourself, with such a busy schedule.”

You didn’t say anything, your cheeks turning red in embarrassment.

“Can you not speak either? Surely that does not take magical talent. If it did it would be a wonder you uttered even a syllable thus far in life.”

“My potion turned really blue. I was trying to save it and panicked,” you blurted out. “I think it’s because it was such a dark red when I put it on the heat but it was fine before!”

“Page one seventy-nine,” Snape replied evenly, staring at you.

You hesitated before reaching for your classmate’s book. Snape stopped you. “I… don’t have my book.”

“Of course you don’t. Why would you bring your book to class when I’ve told you every first day since the first year to bring it to class. How silly of me.”

Your cheeks were burning. You pulled the book to you, muttering a thank you to your classmate. You flipped it open to the page he told you. You read, feeling his eyes boring into you. Your heart was beating faster.

Step One: Add one set of fairy wings.Step Two: Heat until the potion turns turquoiseStep Three: Add one measure of doxy eggs.Step Four: Heat until the potion turns pink.Step F-

Wait.

Step Three: Add one measure of doxy eggs.

Bugger. The Doxy eggs.

“Well?”

“I didn’t add enough doxy eggs.”

“And?”

You glance around the room. Everyone is watching. Some of them look sorry for you.

“They can’t help you. Answer the question.”

You look back at the recipe. “I think I messed up the dragonfly thorax bit.”

“You think? Are you sure you’re capable of such a complex activity?”

“I messed it up.”

“How?” it was more a statement than a question. You gulped. How?

“I panicked.”

Snape said nothing. Just waited. You sucked in a breath.

“I just tossed some in and started stirring and then turned the heat up as far as it would go.”

Someone in the room gasped. Snape ignored it.

“You carelessness is only matched by your incompetence and disregard of the use of the excuse you call a brain. Five points from Slytherin for not completing your homework. Another five for not doing your reading. Ten points for wasting my ingredients. Five points for distracting your classmates and almost causing their potions to ruin. And an additional five points for disgracing my classroom with your presence and pathetic attempt at being a student.”

Your jaw dropped open. “But I’m in your house!”

Snape stood and glared down at you sharply. “Ten more points for thinking you deserve special treatment and questioning my authority. You’ve also just failed your assignment and will not be given a second chance.”

“But, Sir, I’ll never be able to pull my grade up in time for the end of the year! I need potions for my NEWT! I’ll never make the cut now!” You stared at him open-mouthed, heart racing in shock.

His face was blank and he was paused as if expecting you to continue.

“How am I supposed to bring my grade back up?” you asked weakly.

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 3 years

Text

Discourse of Thursday, 07 October 2021

I say this is an emotional payoff and a lot of fun, though what you've outlined a series of topics under discussion quite uncommon, but the power company left me reading by the assignment write-up exam tomorrow: Girv 1004,9 a. The other students, followed by all of which parts of the century, insofar as it could theoretically have been, though, so this is a good idea in concept and/or Bloom's complex relationship to Celtic myth there are hundreds or thousands of races, and you asked some very perceptive reading of the three F's, but you handled yourself and your sense of the group warmed up and either satisfies or frustrates the expectation for the recitation errors, but will be closed on Monday.

By changing technology? Hi! I'll see you tomorrow! 649, p. On yourself though it was more lecture-oriented than it needed to—but looking at the end of the historical connections. Etc. I am happy to discuss and haven't quite punched through to an agreement at that time feels like it passes differently when you're doing the earliest part of the implications of the class develop its own: I think the fairest grade to you, but you'll be reciting, please email me the page number and my hands are not prepared, and so do I. You picked a longer paper in a paper/—even if you're treating the text s with which you engage in discussion, actually. I'm expecting it's a bit closer to the larger-scale discussions in relation to them a few ways in which language and thought in this task of analytical questions, OK?

You too! Section tonight like you were, at 7 p. You must declare in advance with the same time, I think that you are again; and so this is not to avoid them entirely, etc. You will note from my grading rubric some language might change a student's focus rather than the fact that the definition for all that it currently is. I say this not just two points are in fact up this week, and to think about those parts that build to your potential this time. I now I? Helpful for interpreting monetary amounts in Ulysses, and I will try to jam in extra points for discussion to occur. Lesson Plan for Week 7: General Thoughts and Notes 20 November Boy song on p. You effectively leveraged the group's discussion over the quarter. If you want to go about proving your points because it assumes it will drag you down a little more. There are a few things that they will be away from home, possibly as a British colony, Ireland used the same time, it allows you to give you feedback before, you should definitely be there on time. Mentioned in lecture tomorrow. Again, thank you for doing a good selection, effectively treated it as a way that shows you paid close attention to your section takes a stand as Heidegger has it explicitly on why your juxtaposition actually matters. You apply the late penalty, actually. Thanks for the quarter is over tomorrow, 1:30 tomorrow, you're very welcome. If your point total, based on the IDs they attempt, and this is what is your central claim in a comparable phenomenon, and didn't get the ball rolling in the early twentieth-century, whether the Jewish population has any similarities to yours. You should treat each other effectively while in the earlier recitation, and it showed.

There are many other possibilities, you related your discussion, and specifically with the assumption that you noticed that I really did quite a good weekend and may be ignoring the context of the quarter. Poke around and see what he thought just so that its purpose should be on the MLA format and where it is that the useless incompetent morons who pass as campus technicians decided to outsource our campus email to earlier this year.

Again, thank you both doing this. First: make sure you carefully evaluate whose viewpoint we're getting in Nausicaa and The Cook, the notes my students emails constantly, but you are adaptable to the poem takes on gender. Doing this effectively if the exam is scheduled. You did a very small but very well be phrased vaguely at the appropriate number of things that you can ameliorate anxiety-producing situations related to the real payoff for your health allows it, and this is a mark of sophisticated writing and studying so that it would be most closely associated. However, they're fair game for the recitation half of the first time, whereas The Butcher Boy both are a number of first-serve basis. Section this quarter. But, again, and how you see in order to pass beyond merely reciting twelve lines of Yeats's September 1913, which involves speculations about the recitation into a complex and insightful discussion. I'll see you tomorrow night get me a copy of your material effectively and in a genuinely excellent job! Let me know as soon as you should then discuss the general introduction to things that interest you to leave it. I'm mean but in your reading of it; again, it was my choice, depending on what you're actually claiming about the actual purpose of the following table: If you are scheduled or not, however.

Is it helpful to make huge conceptual leaps immediately, but against my other section for Thanksgiving. You were clearly a bit of a letter explaining specific reasons/why your grade and that this would be the same way that helps you prioritize. In exchange, I didn't anticipate at the coin from the course to pull their grades up for discussion. Wikipedia article on poitín for more sections like these on the section website, if you remind me to do with the rest of the forbidden, and you accomplished a lot of ways, was written. I am myself less than absolutely perfectly optimal. The short version is that you're capable of doing even better quality, and mechanics may also find it productive. 4% in the first half of your specific claim about how you want to recite and discuss can be a bit abstract, all in all, you can point to start writing. You picked a good weekend I'll see you next week in section.

I'm perfectly convinced that you're thinking about how your attendance/participation grade up substantially. I'll count your paper grade are the only student who sent a panicked email after sleeping into the A range; you might have helped you to refine your ideas more collaboratively.

Let me know what works for you but that you're reading. Have a good night, and you connected it effectively to the MLA standard and has no effect one way to impose limits on yourself though it does give you a copy to me immediately afterwards to make in the depth that you have done some very, very good student this quarter! Plan for Week 10: General Thoughts and Notes 16 October 2013 There are many possibilities; but a good holiday break! You're smart and I have that are not intellectually or temperamentally suited to being perceptive. I'll see you next week! I set the bar for A papers very high B. I thought I'd report it to introduce some major aspect of the professor's English 150 this quarter, this means, and the median grade was 88. Really, you may want to say that, with answers and notes on any replies that say, but you handled yourself and your sense of the total quarter grade at least somewhat. So a how this is not just of choosing your major points into questions and comments in section prepared to defend it; you also gave an engaged, thoughtful performance that is appropriate and helpful. You responded effectively to larger concerns of the possible points of the passage and showed this in some particulars from Chris's, and what you want any changes made I will not necessarily that you'll want to go for answers on questions about plagiarism should be cognizant of what you want to put it another way of being is the only thing preventing you from doing so. Keep an eye on the midterm or write to the rest of the pages in question generally or always plays by the way this is within the novel, and the musician. I agree wholeheartedly that Early Irish authors contains poems that will facilitate discussion. There are a lot that they each see themselves as being the plus and minus for each text that you would hope yes/no questions because often those just elicit yes or no and close off further discussion. You also demonstrated that he did it because he'd been focusing on an English Paper lots of good plays: thanks to! I think you have any questions arise sufficiently far in this essay: examined some large-scale course concerns and did a solid delivery of a third of a chance to have asked people to talk about the very first paragraph in the hope that you're working, which is a good student again have a middle A-is possible to accomplish this before the third-to-memorize twelve-line poem, and how they pay off for you and I completely appreciate that this was explained both verbally and in a final grade is calculated and I hope that everything else that you have a standard list of works cited page, and then looking through as I can be hard to be more impassioned which may differ in some ways in which he or she is paying for their recitation/discussion 5 p. He would most need to interrogate your own original work; any non-edited draft, letting it sit and then making sure that you need to represent them even further, though, your projected paper looks like it's going to be sure you know you've done a very strong paper. Hi! Truthfully, I can identify it. —But if that's inconvenient for you in section. It's just that your introduction: what are Joyce's attitudes toward sexuality in general, but all in all, you should definitely both be there. To get at least take a closer look at Martin Esslin's The Theatre of the class was welcoming and supportive to other people in, so there's plenty of material. McCabe TBD, Godot Vladimir's speech, so let me know if you don't have an appointment downtown that's going to be a tricky business, and that this is absolutely not necessary, but some students may not have a copy of the Artist As a Young Man, which is not a bad thing, and I wish someone had said to me.

Grading rubric for analytical papers like this and have a good path here what most needs to do quite a good job, and I may be that sitting down and start writing to figure out what that third plan looks like you were on track throughout your time and do not overlap with yours, and gave an excellent delivery, very good readings here. However: think about how to prompt people to speak can be particularly difficult to memorize because of a letter grade. Section Guidelines handout.

Please forgive me if you have any more questions, and that is related to gender. Engaging in close readings of V for Vendetta and Punishment and whichever other text s with which you should be careful to stay above the minimum length if the section, or Muldoon, just what I want a recording of your material very effectively and provided a good sense of the rhythm of Bloom's thoughts. He is also a good job of walking a rather uncomfortable scene with Father Sullivan is the origin of the quality the paper in on Wednesday! I'm looking forward to it, Audrey Niffenegger's novel The Time Traveler's Wife is perhaps most useful here, although it's not necessary, then this will count as a.

You've got some breathing room on other tasks that you occasionally seem to have been thinking about what possibilities for discussion by the burden of proof and the group seems to be expressed in your section who has explicitly brought up some important issues and/or language that intimidate or negatively impact your paper. Anyway, my point is that you yourself have done a good writer, not a play about the relationship between the poem.

I was now a dual citizen.

Keep your eye more clearly, but if you have left, but it's often helpful to log into the UCSB Library Proxy Server/before/clicking on the section, which after all, I think, too. It'll just need to be as effective as it could conceivably have been possible to accomplish, intellectually speaking, but leaves it as a whole. I'm leaning toward putting you either cross them or you can carry yourself, rather than merely plausible, which largely duplicates ID #1 from the original text. Great! 3%. E-mail off to be reciting Patrick Kavanagh Patrick Kavanagh, I think it happens. You are absolutely fine I think, to get you started thinking about how your paper is late reduces your score was 80% I'll have her talk to you after I broke my arm two years ago that might make you feel that your thoughts are being violated? That is, your writing is quite a long way,/not/that week and prepared to discuss with another person, dropped off in the context of the right expression of your total score for base grade-days late 10 _3-length penalty of/The Music Box/1932: There will be honest. The overall goal is to think about my own editing process.

Anyway, I think that your choice from Casualty could productively appear either near the beginning of the passage you'll be master here? Crashing? Jack Clitheroe, Jack Clitheroe, Jack Clitheroe, Jack Clitheroe, The walks by the section website: Pre-1971 British and Irish literature.

We Lost: Eavan Boland, What We Lost Eavan Boland, What We Lost: Eavan Boland, What We Lost Paul Muldoon, just over 87% in the/exact text of the quarter, I offer you a bit rushed and ran a bit less and allow for a job well done. Let me know if you really do have to say that it should be adaptable in terms of figuring out when to use the first section, you did quite an honor to win—people who see the cause that Irish culture should probably at least 46. 52: A traditional form of love, since you haven't yet decided what order I'll call people in the class develop its own: I think that there are a number of people aren't prepared, enthusiastic, informed, and on the midterm exam have been a good selection, in a long time, though as I normally try to get warmed up and talking about, I supposed I'd have to put everything you know what works for you two after another group for several days, and you should have read the entire review session. As it stands, I would suggest and this is an awfully slow recitation. Helpful for interpreting monetary amounts in Ulysses and other works, I think that one of the poems that's listed on the midterm or final I'm assuming that you're well prepared. I'm not trying to get back to your major one or two specific parts of Europe that frequently marks property lines, each will have failed to satisfy breadth requirements that you attend section Thanksgiving week instead of the quarter have been asking for it to know this about your topic to another student who's not able to find one here.

Hi! I will Yes.

All of the poem.

All in all, you should include a URL for sources that disagree with you, nor 93% the high end of the prospectus when I've given you should be careful about with this by Sunday night, and that not doing so. If I recall my ancient reading of the analysis fits into that arc. You've also picked a good choice to me by email by 12 November. We mustn't be led away by words, you've done a lot of ways in which this could conceivably have paid off for you. I; The photographing of ravens; all the presentations graded by Monday night. Can you schedule me a copy of your recording have no one else does feeling. It turns out, I think including at least. Just let me know if you are one of three people reciting from McCabe this week, you have a few more lines, but do feel free to skip to the section as a lens to look for cues that tell me more specifically: as it is, again, I will be paying attention to the class, and you've done some very interesting and sophisticated and that missing more than five sections and you display an excellent and opened up more points than you might, of course, Anglo-Irish, or hospitalization of a question or two key issues. You picked a very solid aspects of the room to go back over your own expression—and to push yourself to dig into some obscure yet well-chosen pieces of evidence that best supports your central argument? I'll see you next week. We feel in England, was written too close to ten sections this quarter, so I'm signaling that if you have already picked a longer selection than the assignment write-up test the next paragraph when you want your reader, and might be to make progress toward graduation that satisfies you and to use this as being entitled to demand from the dangers inherent in being exposed to the class's actual level of. Again, thank you for doing such a good understanding of the beautiful little gems throughout the quarter that is a mother: that you had an excellent sense of the quarter, and I genuinely hope that they will be by the time of the logical chain you're constructing. One of the novel, then you can start with the dates that would have gotten this to be time management you've only got ten to fifteen minutes. But this is what your grade: You may also find it helpful to take the midterm! I loved; changed nearly to almost in I nearly said; changed answered to said on my shelf at home, possibly due to strep throat, so that I can help you to help you to examine your various sources into a complex and insightful discussion. Do you need any advice, so I think that your own reading of a conversation with him, give him an F on the rest of the quarter. Your discussion and question provoked close readings of paintings if you get no section credit. You did a very good paper in other ways to do this a great job! Let me know if you want to go; it's of more benefit to the course edition of Opened Ground.

#Irish literature #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Python #Markov chains

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jakelace · 6 years

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2017 IN FILM - FINALE (TOP 10)

10. Molly’s Game

“I was raised to be a champion. My goal was to win. At what and against whom, those were just details.”

Let’s not beat around the bush on this one. My love for this film comes almost exclusively from my love for Aaron Sorkin’s dialogue. Sorkin’s quick-witted way of writing is certainly not realistic by any stretch of the imagination, but allows for great lines and a thrilling way of telling a true to life story that might otherwise come off as a bit bland. Molly’s Game follows Molly Bloom (expertly portrayed by Jessica Chastain) who became a target of the FBI after running an underground poker game for years. It’s a truly larger than life story, which, knowing Sorkin’s penchant for twisting facts for a better story, probably is. But in the moment that doesn’t matter. I was fully engrossed by the fast paced dialogue, the top-notch performances, and the thrilling pacing of this outstanding story.

9. The Disaster Artist

“Greg, you have to be the best. You have to be the best you can be. And never give up.”

When I first heard that a film was being made all about the making of one of the best so-bad-it’s-good films ever made, I was on board. Although I would have never predicted the end product would be something so inspirational. The Disaster Artist follows Greg Sestero who, after meeting the infamous Tommy Wiseau, moves to Los Angeles to star in The Room. While the comedy and performances surrounding this retelling of a cinema-changing event are certainly very well done, it’s the inspiration I found in Wiseau that made me love this film. It’s easy to laugh along at The Room for its utter incompetence as an example of the entire medium, but when I took a step back to look at the passion and love for this story that Wiseau so obviously had, and his uncompromising dedication to making sure his directorial vision shone through, I began to see the man behind the film in a much different light, and one that inspired me to ‘be the best I can be. And never give up.’ ‘What a story, Mark!’...okay, I’m done now.

8. The Big Sick

“I’m guessing it’s a young, single Pakistani woman who just happened to be driving by our house, which is on a cul-de-sac.”

I shouldn’t have waited to watch The Big Sick as long as I did. It became instantly clear as soon as the credits began to roll that this would become the new standard that all romantic comedies are held to. Kumail Nanjiani’s performance is one of the most hilarious and heart-breaking of the year as he plays himself in a dramatization of the time Emily V. Gordon, Nanjiani’s girlfriend at the time, went into a medically induced coma with a mysterious disease. The writing is what really stands out here, with the entirety of it being written by Gordon and Nanjiani themselves. The laugh-out-loud moments mixed with the emotionally moving plot, affected me in a way few films have, making this one of the greatest rom-coms to ever exist. Oh, also, Holly Hunter is hilarious in this.

7. Get Out

“Now you’re in the sunken place.”

Get Out’s position has fluctuated the most out of any other film this year. Unsurprisingly though, it has always stayed quite high. Jordan Peele’s debut film is one that even veteran directors would be proud to have made, considering there are so few movies that even come close to how clever this film is in both its horror and social commentary. Every frame is so jam-packed with details that, though they may feel arbitrary at the time, provide us with a deeper look at characters, their motivations, and even their deeper psychology. Every moment is important with no time being wasted. Every performance (especially Daniel Kaluuya’s) is layered and nuanced with excellent characterizations. Get Out is a horror masterpiece that I am certain will be looked back on with the highest regards in years to come.

6. Star Wars: The Last Jedi

“Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to.”

I would have never guessed that putting a Star Wars film this high on an end of the year list would warrant so much controversy, but here we are. While I can understand a few of the complaints surrounding a few moments in Star Wars: The Last Jedi, I honestly cannot wrap my head around calling this an objectively bad film. It is quite possibly the most expertly shot and cleverly written film in the entire franchise, and the directions Rian Johnson decided to steer the franchise are some of the most exciting yet. It takes everything we thought we wanted out of a follow up to The Force Awakens and turns it on its head. It delivers wonderful characters to us, both new like Rose Tico, and old like Luke Skywalker. Most importantly, it gives me a story that makes me proud to be such a fan of a galaxy far, far away. Also, I’m now a huge fan of the space battles. I’m not really sure when or how that happened.

5. The Killing of a Sacred Deer

“A surgeon never kills a patient. An anesthesiologist can kill a patient, but a surgeon never can.”

Once again this year, we have another Colin Farrell led Yorgos Lanthimos film as my number five film of the year. While The Killing of a Sacred Deer is a different genre than last year’s The Lobster, his truly unique style of direction and dialogue remains. Lanthimos is a master at creating the cinematic feeling of an idyllic utopia, whilst making nearly every moving part feel off at the same time. His style is very ‘uncanny valley’ in that way, and while that may turn people off from his films, I can’t help but be glued to the screen. I was riveted by his off-kilter method of storytelling and his purposefully wooden dialogue. Farrell gives another great performance here, with Nicole Kidman stealing the show as she injects a small amount of actual emotion and fear into the picture. For those looking for something unconventional and disconcerting out of their cinema, I can’t recommend The Killing of a Sacred Deer enough.

4. Dunkirk

“If we go there we’ll die.”

Dunkirk is, without a doubt, Christopher Nolan’s most masterfully crafted film. Inception may still stand as my favorite, but when it comes to the sheer skill and effort on display, it’s nearly impossible to see this as anything less than a technical masterpiece. Nolan’s knack for creating emotional moments, intense heart-pounding action sequences, and non-linear stories perfectly works its way into the setting of World War 2, while also introducing me to an inspiring story I had never heard before. And yes, I still like to call this Anxiety: The Movie. If you’d like to read more of my thoughts on Nolan’s magnum opus, you can do so here.

3. Baby Driver

“The moment you catch feelings is the moment you catch a bullet.”

Though I don’t normally set up my rankings with subcategories in mind, if I did, Baby Driver would win Best Soundtrack without a single hesitation. Edgar Wright’s creative vision for this music-based heist film is absolutely stellar. Each scene is interwoven with music of all different sorts of genres and time-periods, with each of the heists and action sequences in the film playing out in-time with each song. It’s honestly a marvel that it was done this expertly. From the very opening scene I was smiling ear-to-ear and tapping my foot along with every backbeat and wheel-screech I could hear. Baby Driver, though fairly played-out in its story, survives and even thrives on the style that is oozing out of every frame. Edgar Wright is a directorial genius, and I can’t wait to see what he has up his sleeve next. Oh, and it you didn’t want to drive around listening to John Spencer Blues Explosion’s “Bellbottoms” directly after listening to this...you’re lying.

2. A Ghost Story

“I don’t think they’re coming.”

Rooney Mara eats an entire pie for four and half minutes in this film, and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t bawling with every bite she took. That’s just A Ghost Story for you though. By the time the credits began to roll my face hurt because of how long I had been ugly crying. Though I’m certain not everyone will have this strong of a reaction to the film, David Lowery’s deeply introspective film about loss and the inability to stop time from slipping through our fingers struck a massive chord with me. Every small motion, every flashback to happier times, and every major life event that flashes by left me emotionally devastated. It tapped into my own personal fears about love and legacy and whether or not we’ll be remembered when we pass, all the while providing one of the most compelling stories about the supernatural using barely any dialogue at all. A Ghost Story is a fantastically made and deliberately paced film that will haunt me for years to come...sorry, that pun was just too easy.

1. Lady Bird

“Don't you think maybe they are the same thing? Love and attention?”

Here we are, my number one favorite film of 2017. It’s been a long time coming, and we’ve discussed many other great films from the year, but in the end it could have only been Lady Bird, couldn’t it? There’s a certain undeniable love and connection I feel to coming of age films, and Greta Gerwig’s semi-autobiographical masterpiece is no exception to that. Lady Bird follows a young woman (Saoirse Ronan) in her last year of high-school as she struggles to make a place for herself in the world. Ronan is an absolute delight as Lady Bird and has a chance to show her range as one of the greatest up-and-coming actresses through outstanding comedy and emotionally heartfelt moments. It’s honestly hard for me to describe what it is I love about this film so much though. Like most coming of age films, everything I took from Lady Bird feels so personal to me. Gerwig’s writing is so uncannily realistic and resonant in my life because she is able to capture the wild absurdity of growing up while also handling complex issues and relationships in such interesting ways and through her weaving of nostalgia and comedy, she creates one of the greatest films about growing up that I have ever seen. I don’t want to spoil any larger character moments or fantastically written emotional climaxes, so I will leave you all with something I can say with the utmost confidence. Lady Bird is one of the few film experiences that everyone should have.

#Molly's Game #The Disaster Artist #The Big Sick #Get Out #Star Wars: The Last Jedi #The Killing of a Sacred Deer #Dunkirk #Baby Driver #A Ghost Story #Lady Bird

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rawringryu · 7 years

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tEn cHaRaCtErS

I was tagged in this meme by the awesomely rad @francisthegreat whom I’m lucky to have as my friend :) Also I’m sorry this is so late! I didn’t see you tag me until like yesterday, I had exams this week haha. This was very hard to make because I have a LOT of feelings.

Ten characters from ten fandoms:

This list is going in ascending order, meaning my very favorite faves will be last on the list.

10. Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls) First of all on this list is this asshole, gosh I have no idea why but there was a period of time where I absolutely loved Gravity Falls and I shipped with a human form with Dipper mostly because of the amazing art and some pretty complex fics written for the ship. It was a wild ride and honestly thinking about this phase of my life always makes me feel weird, like I liked him purely because I liked reading shippy fics starring him.

9. Pearl (Steven Universe) This one is kinda weird too? Idk man I absolutely love Pearl’s design and the way her character is written. I’m not in loop with the SU fandom because ugh it’s not a happy place to be but I absolutely love browsing art of her. I love how she’s such a broken character for a kids show! I used to read SU meta and they’d go on and on about how she’s a shit character, an asshole towards Amethyst and toxic. But tbh, I feel like she’s just a complex character that made bad choices at times, she’s trying to get better, she’s trying to cope with the loss of Rose someone she probably loved in more ways than one and how she felt Rose chose Greg over her, and now she’s gone. I mean, she just can’t let go and I think that’s very human.

8. Pitch Black (Rise of the Guardians) Alright but this fandom was the first one I’d ever been in once I started out in tumblr. It was very cool and leaves bittersweet memories tbh, I absolutely adored the art and fics this fandom churned out, I used to ship Pitch and Jack Frost. The thing about Pitch is the fact that the fandom practically merged the movie with the lore from the original Guardians of Childhood the movie is based on. In the book, Pitch has such a tragic backstory, his name was Kozmotis Pitchinier and he was the best general of the Golden Army. After capturing all fearlings, he was designated to guard the prison of their imprisonment , he was haunted by their whispers and pleading and his only solace was his daughter, of whom he kept a photograph of in a locket. But one day, sensing his weakness, the prisoners imitated her voice and hypnotized Kozmotis to believe she was being held inside with them. Frantic, he opened the doors to release her, but was instead possessed by ten thousand Fearlings.

Sorry for the long summary but I just want people to know more abt his backstory haha.

7. Loki (MCU) I didn’t really know about Loki until I watched Thor: The Dark World in the cinema and I was instantly in love despite this movie being the absolutely worst of all the MCU movies, which looking back I’d have to agree. Loki is yet another tragic character whom I’m sure everyone already knows about. I think Loki is a vulnerable character who tries to be good, wants to be good but he just can’t, or he tries and other people just won’t accept him. He’s a frost giant and those people are considered monsters, how can he not be bitter that he’s the very thing ha’s been indoctrinated to hate and fear. He is a very complex character that the MCU practically does not do enough justice mostly because he’s portrayed as a villain in the movies. But I wouldn’t consider him a villain, more like an antihero, nobody trusts him and he doesn’t think anybody can love him either. I’ve only read a bit of his comics and I gotta say Loki deserves so much more than what he gets.

6. Dr Strange (MCU) (I’m breaking the one character per fandom rule idc) I know a shit ton of people absolutely HATE Dr Strange, and for a variety of reasons too. They hate him because Benedict Cumberbatch plays him and hating on BC is practically the new edgy on tumblr. People think Dr Strange should have been played by an american asian and all that yada plus the ancient one being whitewashed. While I agree some aspects of Dr Strange is problematic, I think people need to give it more credit, at least watch it for the cool effects that the stupidly huge amount of people worked on. Also as an asian, I can guarantee you most people outside of America doesn’t give two shits about these controversies and movies should be a source of pleasure instead of thinking about all the negative shit only. Dr Strange deserves so much more, he’s an interesting and while he does share some qualities with Tony Stark, he’s his own character with his own issues. Plus his comics are very fun to read, come on, magic in the Marvel is such an awesome concept. Fuck you haters, I just wanna have a good time with the magic man.

5. Sherlcok Holmes (BBC Sherlock) This is also one of my earliest fandoms on tumblr. Sherlock season 4 absolutely ruined it with all the queer baiting and the shitty plot. But Sherlock had always left bittersweet memories for me too. Mostly because of the absolutely amazing and complex fics written for it, I will never understand how fic authors do it but Sherlock fics were amazing and I would gladly choose these fics over canon any time.

4. Asuka Langley Soryuu (Neon Genesis Evangelion) I have so many feelings about this bitch right here, honestly one of the most relate-able characters for me. Asuka is a very human character, she’s very proud and has emotional issues. She was considered the best of the best and was trained to be an Eva pilot since she was four because she’s a child genius. However she has a tragic backstory, her mother underwent some tests and became insane, believing that Asuka's doll was her daughter and refusing to acknowledge the real Asuka, referring to her as "that girl over there." She eventually commits suicide by hanging herself; Asuka found her body when she went to tell her the good news that she had been chosen to become an Eva pilot. She couldn’t let go that Shinji the main character was starting to become a better pilot than her despite training for months only. She suppresses a lot of her emotions and had unhealthy ways of coping. I just want her to be happy.

3. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood) Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is what I would consider the holy grail of anime tbh. Edward is just about the most selfless person out there in the fictional world of anime. I love the fact that Ed and Al started their journey off with mildly selfish reasons that is to return their body parts whom they lost to in a deal with Truth to bring back their mom which ultimately failed. In the end, Edward is willing to lose his alchemy, the very things that defines him, that started this whole mess, that is the source of his joy and misery for the sake of gaining his brother’s body back instead of selfishly using the Philosopher’s stone that’s made using human souls. I just want this shorty to be happy and I’m glad he is with that satisfying end.

2. Hitsugaya Toshiro (Bleach) The reason this guy is ranked so high in my list is mostly because, he’s been there for me since I was a smol kid, I’ve had a crush on him ever since I was 10 and I could never let go. He’s the one fictional character whom I still fallback to every time things stagnant, I love reading fics about him, he’s just so cool! He’s a child genius with a sword that can shoot ice dragons. Plus he’s always written in such a complex way in fics, Kubo missed his fucking chance by not expanding more about his character in the manga, but clearly Kubo is incompetent when it comes to plot so whatever I guess.

1. Kylo Ren (Star Wars) The Star Wars fandom or specifically the Kylux subfandom is probably the happiest plave I’ve ever been in since forever. It’s the first time I’ve ever talked to anyone at all online, I only lurked around in other fandoms but Star Wars made me able to brave the fandom and talk to people in it, I’ve met so many amazing people and read amazing fics in it, it’s mostly due to the KRB discord chat that I’m still going strong with this fandom. I absolutely love Kylo Ren and can he please crush me between his thighs. The thing that attracted me to him besides his unconventionally attractive appearance is his emotional vulnerability. Kylo has been neglected by Leia and Han as a kid and sent away to jedi school with Luke, he’s been manipulated by Snoke as a kid and Leia and Han just don’t think they can take care of him properly, they’re afraid of him and always too busy with their work, Kylo wasn’t planned, the way their relationship worked just wasn’t ideal for child rearing, Kylo was left alone with Luke, unable to understand why his parents don’t want him anymore, how he was too emotional for the jedi way. While what Kylo did was not justifiable with all that murdering, it’s not a stretch to say that he was very mush a victim of circumstances too. I related to Kylo a lot as I’d been sort of neglected as a child too, both my parents were always busy with work and I only saw them during mealtimes and before bed.

Sorry for the long post ya’ll! I have so many emotions about fictional characters haha.

I’ll be tagging @magicandmalice , @omega-hux, @tezzypants, @darktenshi17, @comraderevelin, @kylocatastrophe, @dargason-under-the-fantasia, @oblioknowlton, @evilblubber, @plasticpill and @glass-oceans that is if ya’ll want to, I had fun and went super overboard.

#personal #ten characters #meme

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bleedingcoffee42 · 7 years

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Absent 34

Tracking Tag

xxxxx

“You brought me the coin.” Roy said, trying to get back on track. He looked down at the drawing in front of him and added some more details. Maybe he drew her boobs too big...nah. “What happened next?”

“I knew you were going to start asking questions and I wasn't sure what was going on, so I excused myself. You followed me into the hall and I could tell you were going to try and take the coin and demand to know who I was so...I told you I was just using it to get close to you and asked you out.” She reported.

Roy stopped doodling. He smiled. “You asked me out?”

“For coffee.” She said and smiled. His good mood could be infectious. “You told me you were busy. Apparently you wanted to help Ed with his research more than get coffee with me.”

“Other me is an absolute moron.” Roy huffed. “I'm sorry, but no wonder he got killed.”

She gave him a glare. That wasn't funny. The sight of him dead was going to haunt her for a while. He wasn't looking at her, he was drawing. “I persisted and asked you out for dinner. You should have seen your blush and stammering. You were absolutely adorable.”

Roy bit his lip and looked up at her. “In my defense you have never asked me out to dinner in a flirty manner before.”

“I didn't say I flirted.”

“You got that satisfied tone of voice that said, 'I flirted and you were putty in my hands'.” Roy grinned and saw in her smile that it was exactly what happened. “I mean, it's your fantasy I certainly would be more than happy to accommodate you.”

“Anyhow, I used that to get away from you so you couldn't get my name and call Hughes to find out I didn't work here. Or live here.” Riza sighed. “I had to figure out what was going on. I figured my best bet was to determine what happened to me. So I called my hometown and found out I was still there and that I was an alchemist. When we had our dinner date you told me that you had gone to see my father when you were looking for a teacher, but he slammed the door in your face because you fixed the handrail instead of the tea set.”

“And my Mom yelled at me for touching another man's China.” Roy smirked. “Saved my life apparently.”

Riza shook her head. Roy's commentary always made her smile. The way he could tell stories, the way he always made her feel at ease...made this easier to relive and reiterate. “So you left and found Van Hohenheim and studied bio-alchemy with him and specialized in Bio-electricity because of Rockbell automail next door. “

“I got certified with that?” Roy asked incredulously.

“According to you, barely.”

“As the guy who is currently in charge of that committee, I think I would have been lucky to get in the door for the written exam having listed that as my specialty. Not that I don't think it's a valuable science, but the military has no use for something they can outsource to the private sector and not utilize as a weapon. Sure there are automail techs, but a State Alchemist with bio-alchemy expertise outside a lab? What was I even doing in HQ?”

“Clearly not dating any woman.” She said and he pouted.

“I was waiting on you.” He said and winked. “I have high standards. Only perfection will do.”

“Anyhow....” She said. “You thought that the coin was bio-electricity based. You though it interfered with synapses firing...”

“Oh my God, this other me was a complete idiot.” Roy threw his pencil down and gestured at the paper. “Your subconscious thinks that I am complete incompetent, both alchemy and romantically. This has nothing to do with bio-electricity, just chemicals. Sure there is a small section here where it could be about stimulating the production of...”

“Sir!” She said and he looked up at her. “This is my subconscious and I was trying to make sense of a place I didn't belong and a coin that I had no idea about. It was my first thought and eventually you admitted it was the wrong one. Of course I thought you would have the answer so naturally I must have thought it would involve your specialty. This was a dream and all the information that was used in it was somewhere in my subconscious. It was a huge information dump, throwing out all kinds of options for me to sort through because that is the nature of this deep sleep. It's more vivid, it's more..complex. It's almost like you can't filter ideas before you speak them, everything is out there as plausible no matter how bogus the science or reasoning. It's...surreal. It's such a odd experience because you can feel when things are right and know things without experiencing them as if you were reading a book...however you have to explore everything in order to get the information you need to put together this puzzle and you can't reach out past the unknown to get it. It's....tiring.”

Roy nodded and saw her think about something. She turned to him with a questioning look.

“Is that what it's like for you?” She asked. Something Kimblee had said suddenly bubbled to the surface and she was curious. “As an alchemist. Is that what reality is like for you all the time?”

Roy leaned forward and thought about it. “Is that not what it's like for you?”

Riza was surprised by that answer. Never did she consider that he genuinely experienced the world differently than her. She had erroneously thought being an alchemist could be controlled like the alchemy, but it made sense that in order to use alchemy the alchemist had to change to see the world through different eyes. She had always known Roy operated on many levels of thought, but...all the time? “No.”

“I don't think you give yourself enough credit, Riza.” Roy said softly. “You may not be an alchemist in the sense that you have learned to assess the materials around you and know what you could use for a transmutation if needed....or pay attention to the wind movements based on how the flag is flying so you know the air resistance you will encounter if you need to manipulate oxygen...but you still see it all. You still look around a room to see the layout if you need to retreat or use furniture for defenses, changing shape to suit your needs. You still look at the skyline to see where a sniper might perch to take a shot and the wind resistance a bullet would encounter. You see what I see for different reasons. You just don't have a need to break it down to the molecular level, but you still see the world with more layers than most. It's why I believe you would be capable of performing alchemy if you wanted to. I see it in how you see things.”

“That's a product of paranoia from combat and my training as a sniper.”

“It's occupational hazard if you will.” Roy said. “You just chose a different occupation than me. However you still had all this when we first met to some degree. That damned muzzle loader of yours was temperamental as hell and you knew when the moisture content of the air or the black powder was going to reduce your odds of a shot going off. You knew how to compensate for the trajectory of the bullet due to wind. You taught me about using leaves and seed pods to determine where the wind was blowing. You trained for this, probably better than me. You used it practically, I practiced it.”

She was once again overwhelmed as she realized something about herself she never considered before. Everything he said was true, but she never equated it with being on any level with the skills Roy had.

“To answer your question, I do see the world a little more intensely. I do constantly have information running through my head and it's impossible to make it stop.” He reached out and grabbed his coffee cup from this morning. “I taste things...with intentions to determine the concentration of it's parts. I can tell when the radio of coffee beans to water is off for the brew, milk or cream....or if Breda used the goddamned sugar spoon again to mix his dumb breakfast drink and didn't wash it before returning it to the jar. It's not that it's something I can't turn off...it's not like it is in my dreams when everything increases in magnitude and I can almost hear flavors, taste emotions....feel the invisible, it's more like I want to know. I need the information, I test myself with every opportunity to maintain my level of observation and improve. It's not seeing the world through tinted-glasses, it's seeing it in a higher definition and dimensional. It's seeing more of it and truly seeing how beautiful and complex it really is.”

It made sense and she looked at him and nodded her understanding. They exchanged glances and smiled as they felt the appreciation for that statement beyond words. They found some ground they had never covered in all the years together and found it to be common ground.

#fic #absent

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matthewdaddariodaily · 7 years

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After an explosive winter finale, “Shadowhunters” has left us withe one huge question: Who the heck has that Soul Sword, and what do they plan to do with it?

While Clary (Katherine McNamara) and Jace (Dominic Sherwood) planned an assault with the Downworlders from outside the Institute, it was up to Alec (Matthew Daddario) and Aldertree (Nick Sagar) to mount an attack from the inside. Naturally, neither of their plans worked as planned, and the Soul Sword was officially activated — and then immediately stolen by a mysterious hooded figure.

We’ve got a few guesses about who’s under that hood, and we took our guesses to Matthew Daddario. He’s keeping mum about this mysterious new character, but we did manage to get him to spill about that swoon-worthy “I love you” between Alec and Magnus (Harry Shum Jr.).

Obviously, the question on everyone’s minds is who stole the Soul Sword. What can you tell us about that?

The Mortal Instruments are being handed around left and right, and you don’t know who’s got ’em and then you do know who’s got ’em. It’s a mess. The Soul Sword obviously has a little too much power. That’s not good. We know what it does to people with demonic blood, and that’s quite scary. There might be a new character who’s seeking it out, we might have some people at the Clave who are not being truthful about things, and we might have Valentine hatching a new plan that he hasn’t made us privy to.

It’s nice that it’s all very open-ended because we don’t really know who the good guys and bad guys are. It seems to change a lot. In the second half of the season, we’re going to see that the line is kind of blurred between who’s good and who’s bad.

Can we assume there’s going to be even more tension now between the Downworld and the Clave after this latest massacre?

The big issue is obviously going to be, if you’re a Downworlder, how are you going to trust these policing Shadowhunters, who are just leading to the death of your own people? It’s not easy to say that their anger is not justified. I think that a lot of what we’re going to see is this political issue with the Downworld, and how they respond to the Shadowhunters’ relative incompetence, and this ongoing annoying element of Valentine.

You’ll definitely see the Shadowhunters try to deal with that. We’re going to see some power struggles.

Where is Malec headed after that super sweet “I love you” moment?

I think that the big thing — and it always is with the Magnus and Alec relationship — is keeping things honest, and enjoyable for the fans. At this point now we get to say “Okay, they’re a couple — and although it’s been very quick, they’ve discovered that this is a healthy and nice and sweet relationship, and they can rely on each other for things going into the future.”

Things aren’t always perfect in relationships — but we’ll see a lot of goodness between the two of them, and the relationship grows stronger over the course of the second half of the season.

Will Aldertree’s story about his own past romance with a Downworlder affect how Alec sees his relationship with Magnus?

I don’t know! You know, Alec is still stubborn — even though he’s a little less stubborn — and I think that he’s not very inclined to listen to Aldertree, who has proven himself to be a bit of a snake. Although he’s a redeemable character, in Alec’s eyes, he’s still got his sister addicted to yin fen, and was not very honest with his motivations and with his actions.

I think although it’s a nice thing to see Aldertree’s humanity, at the same time I think Alec sort of takes it with a grain of salt. I’m sure he’s considered those [possibilities]. What do you think?

I think Shadowhunters and Downworlders can make it work! I think Magnus and Alec can make it work!

Of course they can make it work! They’re all just people — some of them just have a little demon blood in them. So what?

Speaking of demon blood, Jace has just found out he doesn’t have demon blood, and he’s not even Valentine’s son.

Alec is obviously dying to tell Clary — No, I’m just kidding. I think he wants to see what’s best for his brother — but at the same time it’s like this little mess that we have going on… There are some bigger things going on. Jace sort of says, “You know what, she’s happy in this situation. I’m going to let it go, and then hopefully at some point in the future I’ll deal with it.”

I guess it’s just putting things off, which is a common problem people have. Putting off telling people things that will cause momentary struggle because they’re afraid of what the response will be.

Alec won’t meddle. Alec won’t meddle much in this situation, although he does find it amusing in a kind of twisted way. I don’t feel like Alec is a meddler, he’s kind of a straight shooter — and I feel like if he does meddle in something it will be very, very sneaky.

What can you tell us about this Sebastien character we have yet to meet?

I can tell you that Will Tudor is a great actor that’s playing a complex character — who comes in, and we don’t really know a lot about him. Here’s this fancy British guy coming in, talking all sweet to everybody, but you don’t really know what he’s doing. I think that it’s definitely going to start to become clear by the end of the second half, but you’re going to have to keep your eye on him…

#matthew daddario #interview #sh: 2x10 #shadowhunters spoilers #news

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starbinds · 7 years

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so, i’ve been wanting to make a sort of character analysis of jack rackham for a while, because i think there’s a huge misinterpretation of him in fandom.

warning: if you love jack and don’t want to see anything said about him other than positive things, it’s probably better for you to skip this. i’m not saying this to be mean, and this is not really a hate piece, but it shines a different light on jack that may not always be favorable or good. so, if you want to avoid negativity, which is perfectly understandable, please don’t read this. because a) i don’t want to upset anyone, and b) quite frankly, as much as i love to talk to people about these things, i’m also not in the mood to deal with defensive fans who refuse to see him as anything other than a saint.

now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business. let me start by asking something of you: mentally describe jack in 5 words or less. what are his major characteristics/personality traits? you see, i guarantee you that most people, when confronted with this question, would probably have “smart” or “intelligent” somewhere in those 5 words. maybe you did too. it’s the 1st thing you think off when you think about jack: he’s smart and funny. he describes himself as such. “my only assets are my wits”, right? jack is supposed to be the archetype of the dude who’s not physically capable, but that makes up for it with his smarts and humor. except that this is not true.

at the risk of sounding annoying and condescending, i’ll ask something else: what has jack accomplished on the show that has been done so through his own merit? because the answer is, not much, if anything at all. jack consistently is only able to achieve something through either the help of someone (and by help, i mean getting carried there by them, pretty much) or through simply using someone else to prop himself up by throwing them under the bus.

i’m going to give you a rundown of jack’s major successes and general most important achievements and plot points:

1. getting the brothel? vane is responsible for that, since he was the one who killed noonan. jack’s only merit is getting mrs. mapleton on their side, and he basically only had to offer her more money.

2. backtracking a little bit here (sorry for that, but this is very important), how is jack even alive and well at this point, having suffered no major consequence after his colossal fuck up with losing all that money? max is suffering the consequences for him. which he has no problem with btw, even though he’s really the one to blame.

3. getting back to chronological order, what about actually running the brothel in an efficient manner and actually making profit? max’s there for that too, and she’s the sole responsible for this tbh, because jack, for all his talk of how smart he is, cannot seem to accomplish anything here (spoiler alert: this is a pattern). anne herself says, "ain't you always the one telling everyone how fucking clever you are? figure it out." except he never does, really. max comes along and solves all of his problems for him.

4. getting his captainship and a ship back after vane “disowns” him? max again! hurray, isn’t she awesome? he also achieves this by throwing anne under the bus, when she would have been just as legitimate a choice for a captain as he was. it’s not like you can tell me he’d be more competent.

5. getting the gold? max! AGAIN. fantastic.

6. getting an important position in running the island in s3? well, he’s sure not there because he’s good at it, that’s for sure. he’s there because of the gold, which in turn only exists because of max. also possibly because vane and him are buddies.

6.1. now, this is not an achievement per se. or an achievement at all, because it is disgusting. but it is a prime example of jack using and abusing others to make something of himself or fixing his own messes, and that’s rebuilding the fort. so, like, think on this: this man goes on and on about how smart he is, right? anne attested to that, as previously mentioned. and what’s the best idea he can think of to deal with his own incompetence? slave labor! i mean, it sucks, but, hey, at least he feels bad about it!

7. being able to come out of this whole mess with a shitload of money and the prospect of a peaceful future when england takes nassau? max, our always reliable friend, is there for that too. of course, jack threw all of that into the trash can because of his own hubris and self-centered crap, and his absolute need to have people remembering his name somehow. but we don’t talk about that. no, really. we don’t talk about it. but we sure do talk about how max didn’t risk her life to save him from his own ignorance, all the time! jack is still a child, you see! he can’t be held accountable for his actions, that he is well aware will endanger his life.

8. and, finally, becoming buddy buddy with blackbeard and apparently commanding with/beside him? yeah, that’s on vane. who died. oopsy. i guess we really are emotional beings after all and not even the almighty blackbeard escapes sentimentality. because he sure as hell did not give a single fuck about rackham before that.

so, there, let’s make a headcount to summarize:

max helped out/literally did everything for him/was brutally abused to save his ass: 6 times

anne was fucked over: 1 time

vane killed people/died/bros before throwing my buddy out for being an incompetent fuck: 3 times

slave labor is the way to go!!1!: 1 time

so, i think i made my point. all the major things jack was able to achieve were done mostly on the backs of other people. in fact, when left to his own devices, self-proclaimed “smart as hell” guy, is hilariously incompetent. and i really mean the hilarious part, because, at this point, the funny part of jack’s character doesn’t come from us laughing with him or what he says (making him funny), but from us laughing at him. at how utterly incapable he can be.

even prior to the show there are suggestions that it was pretty much the same. anne says, "i've put a lot of bodies in the ground for you, haven't i? [...] watched your back. cleaned up your messes. carried out your plans. i didn't always understand. didn't always agree. but i did it. some fucked-up, awful shit 'cause i knew you needed it done." i think it’s pretty self-explanatory.

you could say that this inconsistency with what jack says and what he actually is like is bad writing. and maybe it is. maybe the writers really want me to believe jack is smart by making him fail miserably repeatedly, but i don’t think that’s their goal at all. and even if it is, it doesn’t matter, because what they show me works in a completely different way. you think jack is supposed to be the smart and funny and less athletic stereotype, but in reality it’s far more complex than that.

personally speaking, i think jack is deeply insecure. i mean this has been proven this season already (s4). he knows he’s never going to be like vane, for example, he’s never going to be able to fight like him or be feared or worshipped for the same reasons (which is okay, obviously. why would anyone want to be like vane tbh.), so he feels he has something to prove.

and he thinks he can accomplish this through his smarts. and that by loudly shouting at the world how smart he is, people will believe it.(and apparently it works because a lot of the audience eats it up.) this in and of itself should tell us something. the fact that he needs to even proclaim and assert it.

you know that scene in 1.02, where he says that he has slit men’s throats in their sleep without remorse, so the sex workers can’t hope to con him, or whatever? and it’s all bullshit, obviously. that’s what jack claiming to be so smart feels to me.

max, silver and flint are some of the smartest people on the show, and, most importantly, they are able to use their smarts to understand and manipulate the situations and people around them in the very way jack claims (and the fandom thinks) he can do. but they don’t brag about how smart they are. they don’t have to.

so, jack, to me, works as a foil to these characters. they are what he wished he could be, but will ultimately never achieve. and that’s the ironic and somewhat sad thing about jack. what he really is all about to me. he’s is always trying so hard, too hard, but he’ll always fail to accomplish it, precisely because of that. he wants to make history, he wants to be remembered so badly, and while we know he somewhat succeeds, he will never be a flint, or a silver, people who will undoubtedly become legends in the world of black sails.

i’m going to end this here somewhat awkwardly, because i feel i’ve said my piece. like i mentioned, this is not supposed to be about hate. it’s something that i’ve been thinking about for a while and that has been bothering me.

i also know there will be people that will be like, “well, but max needed jack too!” and yes, she did. but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s essentially the driving force behind everything jack accomplishes. it doesn’t change the times in which she literally does everything for him. max needs jack the way a captain needs a crew. you can remove jack from the equation very easily tbh, she could get the help of any other pirate (and probably not have had to deal with so much shit.) but max is the source. it all revolves around her. you cannot remove her.

so, the bottom line of all of this is: jack is not as smart as everyone thinks he is. but!! that’s also okay, because, personally speaking, it makes for a more interesting story and character. now if only people stopped acting like jack’s very smart and ignoring max’s role, that’d be great.

#black sails #bsmeta #personal #long post #very long post sorry #to tag or not to tag #i decided not to tag this with the jack rackham tag #in the 1st 5 tags #so i wouldn't upset people #(and have to deal with potential drama because i honestly don't have it in me rn)#anyway here have this #i spent quite a bit on it #anti jack rackham #not really but just to be safe #also forgive any spelling mistakes please #jack rackham #slavery mention #abuse mention

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idolapps · 7 years

Text

OOC INFO

NAME/ALIAS, PRONOUNS, TIMEZONE:

Crissy // She/Her // PST.

RESERVATION:

N/A!

MEMBER PROFILE

FACECLAIM:

Lee Hyunwoo, my smol son.

NAME/STAGENAME:

Han Kiseok and he doesn’t have a stage name unless you want to count the p l e t h o r a of things that idols, managers, facility members and higher ups call him while him while he’s running their errands, in the which case we have:

“Bambi”

“Kiki’s Delivery Service

“You clumsy, incompetent fool”

“Idiot Chicken Boy”

“Kibum”

“EXO’s Minseok” ( does anyone actually know his name? )

“Why did we hire you anyways?”

aaaaand my personal favorite:

“YA!!!!!! YOU!!!!!! WHERE IS MY COFFEE HUH??!!!죽을래 !!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!” !!!!!（╬ಠ益ಠ) !!!!!

BIRTHDATE/AGE:

Nineteen years old. July 8th. Cancer.

COMPANY/POSITION:

Intern for Crystal Entertainment.

HEIGHT/WEIGHT:

N/A. Baby boy is not relevant enough for dis, smh.

TRAINING PERIOD/JOINING YEAR:

I’m not even sure if this is relevant, but if it means anything, Kiseok’s probably been with the company for a few months or something? Half a year?

INTERESTING FACTS:

//cracks knuckles (none of this is even important, but i thought it would be fun?)

He is the admin of several KPOP fan blogs on tumblr.

I’m pretty sure he broke his leg singing into some shampoo and trying to replicate Sweetheart’s choreo in the shower. RIP.

Kiseok’s very allergic to cats, but he saw this cat on the street and fed it and it wouldn’t stop following him, so he took it in. Her name is Pepero and he’s always sneezing and dying because of her but he can’t get rid of her because he’s soft.

He does not know how to drive and bikes to work everyday.

He lives with this super ornery old woman who runs a dress shop. He ran into her shop when he was fifteen trying to hide from these bullying punks who were trying to beat him up, but once he ran in there a few more times and she realized his home was so broken one could hardly call it a home at all, she took him in. She says she only likes him because he does her taxes, but she adores him … her mahjong buddies tell him everything.

Super bi, but honestly can only stutter his way through half a sentence before the words collapse on his tongue and he gets too flustered so, really, what’s it matter?

It’s really funny if you get him drunk because he’s super shy, but he’s also a lightweight and a really wild drunk. Don’t do it. ( Do it and videotape it. )

STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES:

STRENGTHS:

He has a really high IQ. His mind pretty much works like a racehorse even though his mouth stutters almost every word he’s ever said. Kiseok has maintained remarkable grades throughout the entirety of his academic career and has been called Google/Jeopardy because he is full of intellectual but useless information.

He is a notoriously quick learner because of this high intellect? Picked up a lot of the choreo for the trainees and the idol groups while he looks on and knows pretty much everyone’s names and stats???

I don’t even know if this counts, but he’s really, really kind? Like he genuinely cares a lot about everyone and is always willing to help people. He’s really sweet and lovely even though he is 100% nervous and awkward all the time. Basically he will go very far out of his way to help people.

REALLY GOOD DANCER!!!!! Singing is quite pleasant too, to tell you the truth, but really he is a very gifted dancer, like, if you saw him you’d be pretty impressed. Dancing is the only thing that makes him feel better and he’s looked up to idol groups like the ones in CE all his life and longs to be apart of them very clandestinely…but alas.

WEAKNESSES:

Kiseok has chronic social anxiety that developed from how poorly treated he’s been basically his whole life. It leaves him, at times, breathless and stupid, but he tries his best?

Very, very shy as a result and prone to panic attacks. :(. He has a hard time talking to people and nervously rambles and stumbles his way through conversations. I can’t even imagine someone trying to hit on him, he’d die.

Having that little faith in his abilities and being that freaked out of the times means that he had to throw away his lifelong dream of being an idol because he can’t dance or sing in front of people and so he joined CE as an intern just to be close to thing he loves. :(((((

HUGE PUSHOVER. He’s scared of disappointing people or them being sad so he’ll do anything you ask him to. It’s also his job as an intern to accommodate people, but he does have to do a lot of not so cool and strenuous stuff behind the scenes that you won’t hear him complain once about even if it’s killing him a little.

BIO/PERSONALITY:

THE FIRST LESSON YOU EVER LEARNED WAS TO HATE YOURSELF.

You were born too early, but for your mother it was too l a t e. The smell of death hung limply in the air: whodunnit? Fate in the hospital with a premature baby and case of internal bleeding gone awry. She looked like the crime scene but played the victim, leaving you as the murder weapon.

Surprise: Y o u dunnit.

Like the jaws of life, two hands bravely descended into the carnage and like Moses parted the vast, impossible sea of red, plucking you out and polishing your soiled body like silverware ( as if somehow cleansing your body would in turn, cleanse your s o u l . ) When they were finished, they put you in a blanket and her in a body bag.

CRAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

You were too young to properly recall the the itty bitty gritty details…

…But no matter: while you might not remember, ( your father never forgot. )

…

THE ALCOHOL MADE THE PAIN BETTER, BUT HIS TEMPER WORSE.

You spent your childhood in f e a r, towered over, dominated, quivering, shivering, dodging acid words, punches, bottles…but you weren’t fast, you weren’t reactive, you wheezed and sneezed, broken before he could even lay a finger on you. And from your miserable existence in that ramshackle house, there was only one escape —

…

YOU CALLED THEMSELVES I D O L S BECAUSE THEY WERE YOURS.

From this unforgiving reality, you only escape were these big stars that graced your tiny screen each day and you watched them like religion, You admired the way that they carried themselves; heads held high, moves exquisite, perfect, confident words always poised on their lips and after years of feeling like a lost puzzle piece, you finally found somewhere to b e l o n g. When you danced, everything was okay. Music soothed you like medicine and created a feeling that made you feel, for once, i n v i n c i b l e. Just like that you were hooked, just like that you knew

….You always knew someday you were going to be a [ k p o p s t a r ],

( “You think that Crystal Entertainment would hire someone like you? You're nothing, Dancer Boy. You're worthless. You're a l o s e r! And the CE doesn't hire losers.” )

BUT FIRST YOU WOULD BE A [ L A U G H I N G S T O C K ]

…

You soon found that school was no better than home. The kids in your class were viciously cruel and the bullying they administered left your heart and outsides black and blue. Up and down the uneven streets, they chased your cottontail as you ran huffing and puffing and crying and clutching your collapsing chest like a lifeline. They were right in a way. Rock beat scissors but anxiety beat e v e r y t h i n g. You were too nervous, too timid and could barely utter a few generous sentences before they collapsed on your tongue like forgotten civilizations.

BUT WHERE YOUR LIPS WERE WEAK YOUR MIND WAS STRONG

…

You were always good in school — great, even. You skipped grades and your dad never cared, other people’s father’s handing you prestigious awards on stage. Your mind worked overtime and retained information like a sponge, arranging it in intricate and complex formations that dropped jaws and astounded people. They called you “nerd,”, “dork”, “geek”, “f r e a k” but now they would have to call you Han Kiseok, Staff Member of Crystal Entertainment.

YOU WISHED YOU COULD SEE THOSE BOYS HORRIBLE FACES NOW.

…

It wasn’t ideal. You still looked at the CE entertainers with shiny, glossy, fanatical eyes, worshipping them like gods, but you were happy — blessed to just be their Ariel and a part of their world. So while they went out on stage, singing and dancing, you helped make everything work behind the scenes, oversized lanyard, talking too fast, tripping over your words, fetching pastries and turning out paperwork like t r i c k s

— because in this world there are two kinds of people:

Important People™

and people who get those Important People™ C O F F E E.

#male #crystal #submission

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