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#but watching my brother play it again... i reallllly love them so so much

cherryxblossxms · 1 year

Note

Hehehe good day, Minx!!! My brain is in a state with all of this Nightbringer news. So of course my mind is on my darling Beelzebub.

Could I request F, H, K, and T from the A-Z NSFW list? ❤️❤️❤️ ily bunches!

I know what you mean! I'm excited to get more content with the boys. Here's some sweet and spicy Beelzebub for you~

[Mentions of primal play and lactation kink in K section]

Beelzebub

F for Favorite (What do they find sexiest about their partner?)

He loves when you're honest with him, tbh. He gets confused by people that play games or make jokes, he doesn't always understand it and it feels unnecessary to make things more complicated than they should be. So when you're straightforward in your desires to him, it's really a turn on to know how he affects you. Especially during sex, he loves if you tell him how something feels for you, if you like when he does something in particular, because he'll store that deep in his memory for next time

H for Hands (What do they do with their hands during sex?)

Honestly his hands aren't too exploratory during sex on their own, but if you encourage him or direct him, he's happy to put them wherever you'd like. Mostly, his hands will be stationary on your waist or hips, strong fingers anchored as he pounds into you. The same goes for when he's going down on you, they're like a vice when he's holding your legs open so he can lap at your arousal unimpeded. As mentioned, if you just direct him on where you want his hands to go, he's happy to put them there, like if you want him to touch your arousal, your neck, nipples, etc.

K for Kink (What’s their secret kink?)

I'm sure we've all seen it around, but breeding would be a big one for Beel. He just loves the idea of having a big family, he's used to it after all. And especially thinking about a family with his S/O, regardless of whether you can actually get pregnant or not, his body will still make the effort to fuck you full of his cum.

Boy also has a size kink, or maybe power/strength kink????? Although he's the sixth sibling in terms of power, he's still got an edge on his brothers just on physical stature and muscles alone. No matter your size, thanks to that and his demon nature, it's no issue for him to manhandle you as much as you're willing to let him, and he gets so hard knowing this.

I think one other major one would be primal play, tbh. Relating to the size kink and breeding kink, there's a feral side hiding deep inside him that just goes crazy at the idea of hunting you down and breeding you full when he catches you.

Ok ok I had to add this, something tells me he'd also have a lactation kink. Once again, just relating to the breeding kink, and his love for food/things he can put in his mouth lmao, if you can produce milk, he'd be relentless and always be latched on or teasing your nipples to watch the milk come out.

T for Trust (How would they implement rough sex or kinks?)

He's very hesitant and can get a little embarrassed, but he'll always bring it up directly to you in bed before doing anything with a very serious look. He's got these knee-weakening puppy eyes that he gives you when he reallllly wants something, but he's still respectful of you if you say no or are hesitant. Especially due to his size and strength, he worries about accidentally hurting you anyway, so he always wants to be extra careful. Even after giving the OK, he'll be checking in with you many times throughout to make sure you're still alright and enjoying yourself.

#obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me shall we date #obey me smut #obey me hcs #spicy minx 🔥

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lalilula · 2 years

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Guess who started playing Mahoyaku now? That’s right, it’s me. I’m still familiarizing myself with the game, but it’s surprisingly pretty similar with A3? And that helped a lot.

Now, here’s my opinion about the charactes after these few days of deep diving into the story. Shout out to the great translation team. I would be lost without them. This post might contain Mahoyaku spoiler.

Oz: He reminds me of Yu Kanda a lot. I don’t even watch D.Gray Man, but most of the I saw him, I’m reminded of Yu Kanda. I like him (this is likely what I will say about most of the characters). I like how much he cares about Arthur. Their relationship just warms my heart. I also like his interactions with Riquet. I think they’re funny.

Arthur: I like him. He’s nice and gentle, and having Kitagawa Naoya plays as him made me like him more. I love reading his adventures with Oz as a child.

Cain: I like him a lot. Again, it’s all thanks to the stage play. His affliction seems very dangerous and inconvenient, especially since he’s a fighter. I hope it could be cured soon.

Riquet: Sometimes I like him a lot, sometimes I’m reminded of how young he is. He’s a refreshing character, though. I like how he can speak his mind. I hope he keeps having an open mind and learn more about the outside world. His friendship with Mitile is cute.

Snow and White: I honestly couldn’t really feel their differences until later event stories. It most likely more because I’m just speed reading everything than the writing’s fault, though. I’d like to see more of their background. As the elders, I think they do a pretty great job.

Mithra: I’ve talked about him before in previous post. Let’s just say that I’m pretty into him now. And he’s my first SSR too! (I did do some rerolls but let’s not talk about that). I just worry about his health. His tendency to just eat almost anything is worrying, and not being able to sleep must be very hard.

Owen: I’m not sure of my opinion about him. He definitely needs some therapy. I wonder where his interest towards Cain came from. Did I miss anything? If we talk about Owen in ParadoxRoid, though, I can say 100% that I’ll support him in whatever he does.

Bradley: I think he’s the second nicest North Wizard after the twins? It might be because he has to do social job to lessen his jailtime, but it feels like he cares about others. His backstory with Nero, though. I just feel so sad when reading it.

Faust: His history’s just too painful. I’m glad that he still keeps his kindness (albeit in a more covert way).

Heathcliff: My boy. Also because of the stageplay. I love his interactions with Shino. I will protect him against the world.

Shino: I like how he keeps looking the opportunities to take him and Heath higher. I’m kinda worried that his ambition might burden both of them, though. I think they have to sit and have a looooong talk about what each of them want for their own life.

Nero: I like him. I don’t really have much opinion about him, but he looks great. He and Bradley might benefit from a long talk too.

Figaro: Doctor! I love two-faced men lol I reallllly think that he should tell the Flores brothers about his identity sooner than later, though. Pretty sure Mitile would be very hurt. I somehow sense that Rutile might have some idea about this? Also, I’m not really sure whether he’ll really hurt Mitile or not in that beach event. He just seems like he’s capable of doing both.

Rutile: When I first know of Mahoyaku back then when the game’s not released yet, he’s definitely my first pick. His character design just fits my taste perfectly. And now he’s still one of my favorites too.

Mitile: Like Riquet, sometimes I’m reminded of how young he is. Kinda curious about the prophecy. I feel like Figaro’s unwillingness to teach him any stronger magic would slowly erodes his confidence.

Lennox: He carries his mini sheep with him, and I love him just for that. I mistook him for a Persona character when I first saw him.

Shylock: Pretty sure he’s also one of my top pick when I first saw his character design. Don’t we all love kinda shady, alluring men? I’d like to read more about his relationship with Murr.

Murr: I wonder what made him fell in love with the moon. I like him.

Rustica: He’s so kind, maybe too kind for his own good. But I really love the way he comforts people, especially Chloe. I’m glad he found Chloe. Very curious about his bride and backstory.

Chloe: My boy. He deserves all the love in the world and more. The only braincell of the group most of the time. For me, he’s just that meme, I only know him for a few days, but if something happens to him…

Akira: They got some personality, and I’m thankful for that. Did they really live in Puroland tho? I was so confused in that event lol

So that’s all about the characters.

Some other things I’d like to let out of my chest about this game:

I think most of the North Wizards have simpler spells than the others? And it seems very practical. I can’t imagine being in a heated battle and have to pronounce Forset Hao Meiuva or Salliuqnart Mullcredo. Mitile got a pass tho.

I’m curious about the lack of mention about the previous sage. I mean, this might be because I haven’t read all the stories, but it’s just kinda weird? The new wizards might not have anything to do with him, but for Arthur, who’s noted for being like brothers with him, isn’t it just weird? Or maybe it’s their way of mourning. Anyway, I think he’s kinda suspicious. What if he has anything to do with the moon calling ritual?

Okay, this concludes my opinions about the game. Let’s see how long I’ll hold on this time.

#Rei's random words #mahoyaku #rei plays mahoyaku #mahoyaku spoiler #promize of wizard #promize of wizard spoilers #spoilers

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sxfik · 3 years

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Idk if i am looking at this the wrong way, but like, what do you think of the difference between the way they portrayed Choi Myunghee's death and Jang Hanseok's death?

We see that Myunghee was burned alive, and the scene was quite chaotic, with her "dancing" while she was in flames and the zumba music playing in the background.

For Hanseok though, he was tied to a chair with the spear of atonement aimed at his chest. But his actual death, which is the scene at noon with the crow/raven felt almost peaceful?? We could see him shed a tear as he was about to die, and i almost felt sorry for him because the atmosphere was kinda melancholic? Idk if thats the correct term, but it just felt a bit sad compared to Myunghee's death.

Sorry for another long ask haha, i just have a lot going on inside my mind right now ㅠㅠ

"Oh and i forgot if i already wrote this, but in Hanseok's death scene, we can also hear the sad music playing, with the guitar and string!" - 2nd ask

hello!! thank you for sending in an ask!!

for future reference, i do not mind long asks at all!! i love seeing your thoughts and longer the better <33

i personally really loved how vincenzo handled both their deaths, and for me it was one of the best parts of the finale. i loved choi myung hee's death, especially how he cut up her feet and burned her alive. i felt like both their deaths were poetic justice. i loved seeing her beg and change her tone as her fear really creeped in. a key thing is that when she killed before, she would smile at her victim's begging (for example, the hot hunting dog that killed hong yu chan begging for his life and her cruelly laughing). almost every single time she has killed there has been classical/instrumental music and her dancing peacefully after. so the fact that her death was chaotic and messy and kept her "dancing" on her feet was justice for what she did to her victims.

compare this to jang han seok's death and yeah i think you could say it was much more "peaceful" but i feel that it was absolutely perfect for him. his defeat was satisfying because he is being tortured and has a much much more prolonged and painful death than choi myung hee. being burned to death is excuricating but it's shorter than having the spear of atonement driving into you over time. i also loved that vincenzo mentioned how han-seo was critical in han seok's death because he now has to sit with the knowledge that he was killed by something he never saw coming from his brother. he underestimated han seo time and time again, but now he almost made it out if not for his brother. furthermore, there's the moment where vincenzo takes his watch as "his trophy" showing just how defeated he is. vincenzo is giving the death that han seok give to his victims through choking him out like in his middle school days (the atonement spear is ultimately puncturing his lung). i feel like that scene was meant to be showing how pathetic he is now compared to how "godly" he was at the beginning, acting as god and controlling life and death. but now he's literally feed for the crows and the scavengers. i was happy to see that scene more than anything, because it drives in how alone he is and that he's still barely alive and suffering.

(also: there was also a post and greater significance to the crow and i think i saw a post somewhere about it but i cant find it.)

also kudos to both kim yeo jin and taecyeon, my god they REALLY killed it in this episode especially. there was an interview with kim yeo jin that reallllly nailed what choi myung hee was as a character and why she is one of my favorite female villains in kdrama. like i hate her (as in choi myung hee not kim yeo jin lol, she's completely the opposite from her character, very politically active) guts but i love her character so much. she is not attached to any male character and her motivations aren't connected to some other male character like in many kdrama female villains. she is evil for herself, she is greedy for herself and i believe that it is her that makes han seok worse, not the other way around. and taecyeon, my god. i've really loved him since bring it on, ghost and i believe he is one of the best idol actors i have seen. like the fact that he's a rapper for 2PM but also turns around and acts so so so well is astounding to me. that final scene and this whole show, we've seen him play the cute, playful intern with an sinister undercurrent and we can see him switch from cute to evil in a couple seconds, and his expressions are immaculate. overall, both of them killed it.

so yeah honestly, in the end i really think both deaths were perfect for and i felt like that last scene was meant to really show how alone and pathetic jang han seok really is and how far he fell in his journey to be god.

#mine #vincenzo #vincenzo cassano #chayenzo #hong cha young #song joong ki #tvn vincenzo #jeon yeo been #vincenzo x cha young #jang han seo #jang han seok #ok taecyeon #kwak dong yeon #asks #ask

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hotchley · 3 years

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like blood underneath your fingernails

Honestly, I’m quite proud of this one. It’s been in the works for a while, and I finally have a title (from Looking Too Closely- Fink) and I both did those flashcards and emptied the dishwasher, so it’s here now. It’s been proofread!! Once. In the car.

The writers (according to the internet) did not deal with the aftermath of Scratch’s initial... thing. So I took it upon myself to write the case after. It got dark, but I had fun writing it. And it has low-key Mortch vibes... a lot of other amazing writers have also written fics linked to this, so you need to read those too because they’re just the best

OH!! This is not a Rossi-friendly fic. I have tried to explain why he responds the way he does, but it does come off as Rossi bashing, so if you reallllly love him and think he was a great friend to Hotch... skip on this one.

Trigger Warnings: dissociation, aftermath of torture, a slight reference to suicide and child death, canon-typical violence, cases involving kidnappings and murder, blood, dark themes, other canon-typical darkness, hallucinations

read on ao3!

He cannot close his eyes.

Because when he closes his eyes, he sees one of them, falling to the ground as the light leaves their eyes and the life leaves their body because his worst fear has never been his own death. It has always been the death of the family he is meant to protect- whether that was Sean, or Haley or the team.

He hears the fear in JJ's voice as Spencer, her little brother, the boy that has always been too young, the man that he has never succeeded in saving, falls to the ground, eyes never opening again.

He tastes the horrifying and coppery tang of blood as Derek is shot right in front of his eyes, the blood splattering onto his cheek and every sentence Reid has ever spoken about the bacteria and pathogens in blood springing to the forefront of his mind.

He smells the bitter and disgusting sage that Peter Lewis uses to torment people and turn them into brutal murderers that cannot stand the sight of their own hands or wrap their heads around their actions because they had always been normal and good, and it hurts because he's already a killer, never once normal or good.

He touches the knife that was slid towards him, the metal cool against his warm hand and the weight a comforting thing that make him feel like he could regain control of the situation he was in, despite the thoughts of George Foyet that fill his mind, and he wonders whether Scratch is impotent.

He closes his eyes and he no longer knows what is real.

It is why he is returning to work only ten days after the case. He had wanted to take the usual five, terrified even of that small number because he couldn't trust himself. The doctors that assessed him in the hospital wanted him to take thirty. Ten, and a passed psychological evaluation, had been the compromise.

He wonders if the team knows how he lied. They must do. They aren't stupid. He wonders if anyone will call him out on it, or if they'll once again be so terrified of the humanity he wants nothing more than to cling to that they will simply watch and wait until he shatters again.

The steady ticking of the clock is the only noise in the otherwise silent apartment. When he flicks the light on, he sees there are still five hours until he needs to wake up. For a single moment, he closes his eyes, contemplating whether or not attempting to sleep is a pointless exercise. He swears he can still taste sage and opens his eyes again.

A silent house is not necessarily a bad thing. It means Jack is sleeping through the night, no nightmares about the gunshots haunting him. And it means the extra locks on the door, the obsessive way he checks every window is locked as soon as the sun goes down, are doing their job at keeping the monsters out of the only home Jack has real memories of.

Aaron creeps out of bed, grabbing the jumper that was folded at the foot of his bed. Once he's put it on, he sighs to himself and counts to five. For each number, he tells himself a fact that cannot be disputed. That grounds him.

His name is Aaron Hotchner.

He is forty-four years old.

He is standing inside his bedroom, in his apartment, which is located in Virginia.

The windows of that apartment are locked from the inside.

Just down the hallway, his son is sleeping peacefully, untouched by the monsters that strangle his father every single day.

He creeps down that hallway, taking comfort when the same floorboard that always creaks does just that. Normally he would avoid it. But lately he's been finding every opportunity to do something that Peter Lewis would have no knowledge of, if only so he can convince himself he's fine.

Jack's door is slightly open, allowing some light to enter. Aaron nudges it gently, making sure he doesn't wake Jack. The door doesn't make a sound, and his son carries on sleeping. He never looks so similar to his mother as he does when he sleeps. Haley slept on her left side, a slight smile on her face, and Jack does the same, unless he has a bad dream.

But even then, he is so much like his mother that his tears can be turned into something beautiful. Aaron was the exception of their little family, having always expressed his emotions so honestly, the few times he let himself do that, that there was no way it could be anything but ugly and human.

He's too big for the chair in front of Jack's desk, but he sits in it anyways, turning it so he can face Jack's bed. On the table is his latest art project- a collage of things that remind him of the people he loves- and Aaron finds it difficult to look at. Because his son has painted his mother as a perfect angel, and his father a superhero.

One day, Jack will realise his father is the furthest thing from the superhero and he will hate him for destroying his childhood and taking his mother from him before he was old enough to understand that people were mortal. Aaron is mentally preparing for that day- there are already so many letters that will never excuse or justify what he did hidden in his office drawer- but until then. he will allow himself this one good thing.

He will allow himself to sit, and take comfort in the steady rise and fall of Jack's chest. He ends up staying there until sunlight starts to stream through the window, and then he takes his leave.

Seeing Jack, sleeping so calmly and normally, reminds him of why he's going back to work. Because if he hurts the wrong person there, the team won't hesitate and they'll do it. If he hurts Jack- and he knows he's weaker than the man that refused to harm his son, knows that it will be Jack- there will be nobody there to end his pain and suffering. He'll be forced to live with it.

A minute before his alarm is set to go, he turns it off, and then he goes about morning like it is any other day.

He doesn't feel like himself till he puts the watch Dave got him when became lead profiler on, tightening the strap till it mirrors the feeling of holding the knife. And he wonders whether the team are discussing his return to duty the same way they had six years ago.

They are. Aaron's absence meant more paperwork for the rest of them, as there is no way the team are going to let him handle it when he comes back, so every single one of them are in an hour earlier. It also means his return will be as smooth as it can be.

Even if they don't all approve.

"It's only been ten days," Derek says. "He needs more time."

"Does he? He came back thirty-four days after George Foyet stabbed him in his apartment and his wife and son were sent into Witness Protection, and he was fine. This is like child's play compared to that," Dave says, fiddling with a paperclip.

"Ex-wife," Reid corrects quietly.

The three of them are sitting in the bullpen, looking towards the elevator every few minutes. Kate pretends she's not listening, and Derek pretends he believes her.

"Was he fine? He looked us in the eye and asked why a man that had lost his wife and child was still alive. He walked into a hostage situation unarmed. We all pretended he was fine because we needed Foyet to strike, but I'm not making that mistake again. Not after what happened when he did end up striking," Derek snaps.

Spencer swallows. Dave just raises an eyebrow. It's almost funny. Spencer views Aaron as a father, Dave as a son. Either way, they both believe he is perfect. Able to come back from anything and everything with nothing more than a broken ego. But Derek remembers what Foyet's body looked like, and he remembers how Aaron had shattered in his arms for those few seconds.

"If you want to ruin his first day back, then be my guest. But you need to trust him the same way he trusts us. After all, you care more about him than you do your job," Dave says, annoyance bleeding into his tone.

And Derek gets it. He really does. He had wanted to believe Gideon was invincible when he came back after Boston. Everyone had. So they hadn't done anything, and he had just gotten more and more reckless with his actions until innocent people ended up dead and Hotch got suspended. And then he ran.

He isn't going to let that happen again.

"This isn't about not trusting him. This is about keeping him safe. And you're right. I do care about him more, because the last time I didn't, he almost retired. So we either do the opposite of what we did last time, or we let history repeat itself."

"Derek, you can't force him into anything. He passed his psych eval, so Cruz can't do anything either," Spencer says.

Derek softens as he turns to him. "I know pretty boy. It's not about forcing him into anything. It's about making sure he knows that we're here if he needs more time, or if he needs a break. And don't get me started on that psych eval. I saw his answers. They're too perfect. He's lying."

"So what are you going to do?" Dave challenges, and not for the first time, Derek wonders how Aaron kept his sanity working with him, Jason Gideon and Max Ryan at the same time without any of the other members to meet his eyes with the same exasperated look every time one of them reverted to the old fashioned way of doing things.

"Be the friend he trusts me to be," Derek says. It's his own challenge. Dave prides himself on being the only one to call him Aaron. To people outside the team, Rossi seems to be the only one that Aaron trusts enough to be vulnerable with.

But Derek knows better. Aaron will never be completely open with anyone, but he still feels like he has a duty to be the hopeful and undamaged boy that thought he could save the world that Dave recruited. He still has a duty to be the father that Spencer never had and thought he'd found in Gideon. It is only with Derek that he allows himself to do his own type of falling apart: one that is contained and messy and ugly. Somehow both terrifying and anticlimactic

It was Derek that stopped him from running into a burning building all those years ago. It was Derek that was voluntarily told about Haley leaving. It was Derek that stepped up as Unit Chief and pulled him off Foyet's dead body. Not Dave and certainly not Spencer. So he won't let them influence his actions. Not this time.

Hotch does blink. But only when he thinks nobody will see him do it.

Dave keeps eye contact for a few more moments, but this time, Derek does not break it. Eventually the older man turns around and heads to his office. Derek sighs, knowing fully well that Aaron is going to end up doing the paperwork anyways.

"Is he going to be okay?" Spencer asks, sounding so painfully young that Derek has to look at him to remember he wasn't the new recruit anymore.

"Dave? Yeah, he'll be annoyed, we'll get a case and then everything will be fine," Derek says, smiling so Reid doesn't worry.

"No I meant Hotch. Will he be okay?"

Derek can't tell him the truth. "Of course he will. He's Hotch."

"Why are you lying to me?"

He knows there's no point in trying to deny it. "I'm not trying to patronise you or keep you in the dark. It's not that. It's just- I don't know. It's stupid, but I want to shield you from his mortality and flaws and imperfections for as long as is humanly possible. You are always going to have a different relationship with Hotch because of how much younger you are, and I just don't want to be the one that ruins it."

"So you want to protect me?"

Derek nods. "I guess."

"Thank you. Nobody ever did that when I was younger," Spencer says.

Kate breaks the ensuing silence by asking for Spencer's opinion on her consult, and Derek starts watching the elevator doors again. They don't open until precisely nine, when Hotch steps off, dressed in the same suit and tie he wears every second Monday of the month, carrying his briefcase and acting like nothing happened.

He gives them a slight smile as he passes them in the bullpen, and even those few seconds are enough for Derek to see that he hasn't been sleeping.

When Aaron sets his briefcase down, Spencer looks to him, nervous. Derek gives him a small smile, even though they all saw him as he entered. It's only been ten days since they last saw him, but his suits seem to hang from him more than before. Dave looks out at them, and Derek starts to count.

He counts to three hundred, and is immediately struck by just how fast time can go. Three hundred seconds is five minutes, and yet it feels like no time has passed. But when Hotch looks out at them, as he always does, everyday, without fail, ten days feels like a lifetime.

He is terrified as he stands, but he fights through the fear and goes up to his friend's office. The door is open, so he walks in without knocking. When Hotch looks at him, he closes both the door and the blinds. Hotch swallows as the sound of them closing fills the air.

"I don't want them profiling this conversation," he explains.

Aaron just nods. "Thank you."

"You don't need to pretend with me," Derek says.

Aaron looks away, and Foyet's presence, usually contained to the self-deprecating voice in his head telling him he's no better than his father, seems to fill the room. They both know why he doesn't pretend anymore.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"You don't need to say anything. I don't expect you to tell me the truth, because I wouldn't, if I was you. I'd be too terrified. But I remember what it was like seeing Spencer and Emily. So if you do want to talk, then I'm here. Always. And I won't flinch."

Aaron knows this to be true. When they finally got back to Quantico after Jason's death, Derek found him sobbing in the men's bathroom, the barriers he had spent so long piecing together completely breaking when he opened his drawer and found a photo from the early days, where Jason looked happy and hopeful. He hadn't said anything. Just sat beside him, and offered a tissue.

"I know you won't."

Derek sighs, not sure what he's meant to do. "Aaron-" he starts, not sure what he's going to see next.

"I can't trust myself. I- I don't know what's real, and I keep trying to do the grounding things that the bureau therapist said I need to, but I don't know if they're working. I have post-it notes all over the apartment and I have my five facts, and I have things I can touch, but Scratch knew so much, I can't- I feel like he's everywhere and he knows everything."

It is so honestly vulnerable that Derek wants nothing more than to flee, if only so he can cling to the Aaron that existed when he first joined the unit for just one more moment. But he made a promise. And he has no idea how he's meant to keep it, but he's going to.

He holds his hand out. When Aaron doesn't take it, he leans over the desk, gently linking their fingers. "I'm here. With you. Scratch can't get our body temperatures perfect. He can't know that I'm always slightly warmer and you're always colder. He can't know that twelve years ago, I called you darling because I didn't realise it was you."

Aaron chuckles slightly. "Derek."

"You don't need to say anything. I messed up after Foyet. I won't do that again."

He shakes his head, finally meeting his eyes, and the fire in them is almost enough to convince Derek that everything is going to be fine. Almost.

"You did everything you could after Foyet. If you had tried to do more, I would have stopped you. We both know that. You did everything right, everything perfectly right and you cannot feel like you failed because you didn't. Do you understand me?"

Derek swallows. “Yes. But you need to understand that if you need anything- and I mean anything, whether it’s for me to take the reins for a bit, an unofficial firearms certification, or even just to do the grounding techniques with you, I will.”

Aaron nods. “I know Derek. I know. Thank you.”

Derek gives him the most convincing smile he can, leaving the door open because Aaron hated having it closed. As he exits. Dave steps in, and he sees as Aaron morphs back into Hotch to be the man that Dave needs him to be. It hurts to see, but he understands why it happens.

He doesn’t believe in God. He hasn’t for a while. But he needs to do something other than stare at dead bodies, so he prays that the team remain grounded for a few days. Not for too long because then Aaron will get suspicious and realise that Derek had been forging Rossi’s signature in order to transfer their out of state cases to other teams, but long enough for him to get settled once more.

Or as settled as he would ever be.

It’s probably why, only minutes after Dave leaves Hotch’s office, smiling, whilst the other man just looks exhausted, JJ comes rushing into the bullpen. There are five files in her arms, and she looks frantic.

“No,” Derek says.

“I’m sorry, but we need to go on this one. It came directly to me. It’s- just look.”

He doesn’t want to, but as JJ goes to give the files to Dave and Aaron, he does, if only so he can gauge how much support he will need. And as he opens it, he understands exactly why they’re going on this case. Why, even if JJ had tried to hide it from Hotch, he would’ve said they had a duty.

They have four victims. All blonde women. All mothers. All divorced. Killed by a single gunshot to the head. No evidence of sexual assault, but they were held captive and tortured for three days before being dumped in their home. All found by their ex-husbands, who were only there to drop the child off.

Hotch does not show an ounce of humanity during the journey there. It terrifies Derek. Hotch only refuses to show how human he is when he’s close to falling apart. Too close for anyone to feel comfortable. Instead, he keeps his tone detached and professional. Derek pretends to not notice the way Aaron pushes down on his stomach, over the biggest scar Foyet left. Aaron pretends he doesn’t see Derek watching him.

When they get to the station, Derek knows it’s going to be a long case. Him and Reid are sent to the coroner’s office, whilst JJ and Kate are tasked with searching through their victims history. Which means Hotch and Rossi are left to interview the husbands. JJ and Derek- the most attuned to Hotch and the thought behind his actions- make a silent agreement that they will do whatever it takes to make sure Rossi doesn’t go too far. Whatever that means.

They fail because they don’t get the chance to speak to him before they leave the precinct.

And when they return, Dave is nowhere to be seen, and Aaron is sat in the conference room, clenching his jaw and hyper focused on the details in the case files.

“Did you get anything from the husbands?” JJ asks, tone gentle.

Hotch shakes his head. “They’re grieving, and terrified for their children. But they’re not guilty. They all loved their wives.”

Nobody bothers to point out all four couples were divorced.

"Where's Rossi?" Reid asks.

The tension in Aaron's shoulders increases.

"Hotch," Kate says, the only one that can.

"He accused one of the father's of committing the crime," Hotch says.

JJ and Morgan give each other identical looks. Kate looks horrified, and Spencer is stunned speechless.

"What happened after?" she prompts.

Hotch doesn't speak. Kate sighs, then leads JJ away. As she passes Spencer, she asks him to follow her because Hotch and Morgan need to speak alone. He nods and leaves without another word.

"Aaron," Derek says.

"I ended the interrogation and dragged him out of the room. And then I punched him in the face because those women remind me of Haley and those fathers remind me of myself and every accusation he made reminded me of the months after her death and I couldn't do it."

Derek wants to punch Dave himself. He must have known what he was doing, and in some strange and obscure way thought his actions would help the situation. Clearly he couldn't have been more wrong.

"You didn't cause Haley's death," he says, for lack of any other words.

"I did. Maybe I didn't put the gun to her head and pull the trigger, but I did cause it. That's not what I'm scared about though."

"What are you scared of then?" Derek asks, well aware that they're in the middle of a police station where anyone could hear them, but needing to take advantage of Aaron's vulnerability before he let his mask slip back into place.

"Scratch. I punched Dave and it felt like Scratch was laughing at me, egging me on to hurt him more. The worst part is that I almost did. Punching him felt good, and then I panicked and now I don't know- I don't know whether the only thing I did was punch him or if I did something more."

Derek curses under his breath. "How long have you been feeling like that?"

Hotch shrugs. "I couldn't- I forgot what time it was when I stumbled back here. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he says, the words almost reflexive because of every apology Aaron has ever given him. "We just need to ground you."

He takes Aaron's hands, noting that the muscles are moving the way they should be. It's a small thing, but it's a good thing, because it means he's wearing the wrist support when he needs them and doing the physical therapy.

“Look at me,” he commands softly.

Aaron does so willingly. “Derek, we’re in a conference room.”

“That’s good. Can you give me four other facts that prove you’re here, in this moment with me?”

"My name is Aaron Hotchner. I am forty-four years old. We are in a police station. You are Derek Morgan. There is a door behind you and a window behind me- the window is locked, but the door is wide open. We can both see if someone walks in."

"Show off," Derek teases.

Aaron manages to smile slightly. “Thank you,” he whispers after a moment.

“You have nothing to thank me for,” Derek says. He means it.

This time, Aaron’s laugh is self-deprecating. “I’m a horrible person to look after.”

“Not to me you’re not. How do you feel now?”

He shrugs. “Better, I guess.”

“Drink some water. Slowly. I’ll go check on Dave.”

“Do you think he’s going to hate me?” Aaron asks.

“You’re the closest thing he has to a friend. Of course not,” Derek says. He keeps his tone light, but deep down he’s afraid that Dave will. Not forever, he could never do that, but for long enough that something else goes wrong.

He finds Dave in the bathroom.

“Hotch told me what happened,” he says.

“And what? You’re here to tell me that I shouldn’t have pushed because he’s fragile and hurting? Did you tell him that he shouldn’t have fucking punched me in the face because of something I said to a suspect?”

“Those men were not suspects and you know that,” Derek snaps. He sighs. “I wasn’t coming here to tell you that you shouldn’t have pushed. I came to see whether or not you were okay.”

Dave raises an eyebrow. Derek sighs, again.

“He saw Scratch when he punched you. Now he’s worried. And he’s falling back into old patterns. I told him he didn’t kill Haley and not only did he not believe me, he flat out disagreed and said he did.”

“What do you want me to do?” Dave asks. He doesn’t sound angry, just tired. Derek wants to shout at him. He may be tired after this one event, but he’s not been the one picking up the pieces and gluing their fragile leader back together for the past few years. Dave doesn’t get to be tired. Not whilst Derek is still the only one able to do anything.

“I don’t know Dave. You’ve known him the longest. It was you that found him in the immediate aftermath. You took the gun from him- rather poetic given the last time an unsub targeted him, you told him to take yours- and got him to speak.”

Dave blinks a few times. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I thought being hard on him would bring him back, but I was wrong.”

“It’s okay. You just need to correct yourself now,” Derek says, for lack of any other words.

“I just want him to be the boy he was when he first joined the unit,” Dave whispers.

Derek did not know the boy his friend was then, but he does know the Aaron that existed before Boston. The Aaron that held a baby Jack in their arms like that one small child was enough to remove every piece of darkness to exist. The Aaron that had grabbed Haley’s hand and taken her dancing so they could spend a bit of time together.

"We all do. But he's gone now. The only thing we can do is try to save whatever pieces of him live in the Aaron that is sat in the conference room, beating himself up over something that was not his fault because of your misplaced comment," Derek says. They have a killer to catch. There's no time to entertain this.

"I know. Thank you. For doing what the rest of us are too afraid to," Dave replies. Derek shifts uncomfortably under the weight of his gaze.

Something about the dynamic between the two men has changed, and everybody has noticed.

"Somebody has to," is all he can say, before he leaves Rossi to wash his hands and search for the man that had promised Aaron everything he could ever want, all those years ago when he first recruited him for the BAU.

There's an empty glass of water beside Hotch when Derek returns, and he's silently thankful that for once in his life, Aaron listened. He's deep in conversation with one of the police officers, so he refrains from making any comments, but when Aaron turns back towards the table, he goes over without a second thought.

He tells himself it's because he wants to know what happened just then. Because he wants to know whether or not they have any more information that can be used to their advantage. He tells himself it has nothing to do with the fact that learning about the case means he doesn't have to focus on the minute tremble of Hotch's hands. Doesn't have to see the hollow look in his eyes- a look of a man so defeated that he has no reason to try anymore.

The problem with being a profiler is that you rarely fall for anyone's bullshit- including your own.

“Did the officer have some additional information?” Derek asks.

Hotch hears him, obviously, but does not respond.

“Hotch,” he repeats.

“No. He didn’t. He wanted to know why you were holding my hands.”

Derek rolls his eyes. “And what did you say?”

“That ten days a man that managed to turn people that would never dare hurt another person into horrific killers drugged me, causing me to hallucinate the deaths of the same people that are solving his case for him, and as a result, I cannot always tell when things are real,” Aaron deadpans.

For a moment, Derek honestly can’t tell whether or not he’s joking. Then Aaron gives him the smallest smile, and he relaxes slightly. The last thing they need happening is officers spreading even more rumours about the types of cases the BAU work on.

He starts to reply with a joke of his own, then sees Aaron’s smile fade away like it was never there. He wonders how instinctive the action is- how many times was that little boy told he was too much, and how many times did he fade into the background like he didn’t even exist?

Without turning, he knows it’s Dave.

“I’m going to see if Spencer needs any help,” Derek says.

For a moment, it seems like Aaron is going to beg him to stay. But like most of his displays of humanity, it passes in a second, and then he simply nods, not even trying to fight.

“Aaron,” Dave says, walking over with purpose.

“Rossi don’t. Please,” Aaron pleads.

“What you did was stupid. But my actions were also uncalled for,” he says. It’s the closest he’ll ever get to a proper apology. Aaron accepts it because there’s not much else he can do. Dave pretends it’s going to fix everything because it’s the only thing that will get him through the case.

“Do you seriously think the fathers are to blame?” Hotch asks.

Rossi shakes his head. “Not anymore. I just needed to be sure.” He also needed to be sure that Aaron was fine, and given his response to Rossi’s accusation, he can’t say he’s convinced.

"Good," Aaron says, and the smile he gives Dave is so small and subtle, but so full of love, that for a single moment, the older profiler is able to convince himself that the fragile collection of skin and bones in front of him is still the hopeful boy that joined the unit. But then the moment passes and he's left feeling worse than before.

When the team come back, picking up on the cues that both Hotch and Rossi laid down, they go back to acting like nothing is wrong. Like the women in the photos are victims that deserve justice, and not the mirror of the same light they failed to save five years ago.

There are no breaks in the case, and they return to the hotel defeated and miserable. Budget problems mean they're doubling up. Part of Derek wants to switch rooms with Dave so he can keep an eye on Aaron, but the bigger part of him knows it would be a terrible idea, so he texts him saying that if he needs anything, no matter what time it is, he'll be available.

Aaron mouths the words thank you once he's read the message. Derek counts it as a win, and he tries to remain calm when Dave texts him saying that when he entered the shower- after Hotch- although the water dial was set to be normal, the water ran hot. Too hot.

He refrains from commenting the next morning, when Aaron clasps his glass of freezing water like a lifeline. In some ways, it is. And he knows what it's a sign of. He isn't sure whether it's caused by something in particular, or if he's just overwhelmed, but the hotel dining area- where Kate and Spencer would both hear- isn't the place to ask.

They get to the precinct, and it becomes clear that nobody there has slept. Another woman was found dead a few minutes before they got there. The father and son are sitting in the same conference room the BAU were working out of. For a moment, Aaron looks like he's going to kill the person that sent them there. The lead on the case quickly intercepts, saying they moved the boards and evidence files, and he relaxes slightly.

But before anyone can sleep, he removes his blazer and tie, before unbuttoning his top button and rolling his sleeves up. And then he walks into the conference room. Derek blinks, then it clicks. Aaron looks like a father. Someone both people sat in the room can trust. JJ hands him the information on the file, and his breathing stops for a moment.

The father and son could have been Aaron and Jack. If Aaron's eyes were darker and Jack's hair lighter, they would be the boys smiling in the photo provided with the file. He wants to take over the conversation Hotch must be having, but he finds himself rooted to the spot. How many cases are going to hit too close to home before Aaron gives up? Before it feels like every victim wears Haley's face?

How many more times can Aaron Hotchner look into the darkest parts of humanity before his hands stop going cold at crime scenes and Derek Morgan needs to take his place in some weird parallel of the events that occurred after Boston?

When the father and son leave the room, he jumps out of his chair and runs over.

"We will catch this man. And if you need anything, please don't hesitate to contact me," he hears Aaron say.

He sighs to himself.

The father shakes his hand and leaves, guiding his son with nothing more than a gentle hand to the back of his head. He sees Aaron swallow.

"You know you can't promise things like that," he chastises, not truly meaning it.

"It wasn't a promise. It was a guarantee," Hotch snaps.

Morgan simply raises an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry."

"Want to tell me about it?"

"I told him about Haley, and how I found her. And about how Jack was just down the hallway in my office- the one place in our home that my work touched, even if he never found it- so now he can't be alone on New Years or Independence Day. I only said it because he told me I didn't understand what it was like. To have to do that."

No amount of surgery is ever going to fix the hole in Aaron's heart that Haley's death created. They could plant seeds of love and watch them blossom into flowers of acceptance and fearlessness in every other part of his body, but that one area could never be touched.

Derek knows this. He's seen it before.So he doesn't offer any words, because there are none. Instead, he takes Aaron's arm and he squeezes the elbow. It is Aaron's non-verbal method of saying thank you. So in that moment, it can also be his.

Aaron isn't entirely sure why Derek is thanking him, but he learnt long ago that when someone said something, you didn't push. You accepted their words- whether they were kind declarations of love or as sharp as knives- and you moved on.

When Derek lets go of him, he walks back over to the team, feeling slightly lighter and infinitely more grounded.

Kate tells him another woman had been taken, and the weight he thought he'd been able to let go off settles on his chest like a death threat. There is a single moment where she worries that this will be the thing that causes him to fall off the edge of the cliff he's been standing on for far too long, but then he stands up properly and it's like nothing ever happened.

He doesn't sleep, instead pouring over the case file whilst Rossi gently snores beside him. If Jason had been with the team. he would've somehow realised that Hotch was still awake, and told him to go to sleep. And Hotch would've obeyed. But Jason wasn't with the team. He was dead. And sometimes that knowledge knocked Aaron off guard, so he stopped focusing on that and started concentrating on the woman.

Their break comes the next morning.

Garcia hasn't slept either, and between the two of them, they have a name and a location. Everyone piles into the cars, vests on and weapons ready, because even though nobody had said it, there was no way this is ending without at least one shot being fired.

The door to the building is unlocked, and they have their unsub surrounded within seconds. Hotch suddenly feels like a bucket of ice has been poured over him, causing him to freeze, and the blood to start pounding in his ears. Nothing feels real to him. He tightens the grip on his gun.

His name is Aaron Hotchner.

He is forty-four years old.

He is holding a gun because he is on a case.

The unsub is holding a knife to a woman's throat.

The woman looks just like Haley- no. He cannot think that. Not now.

"Let her go," JJ commands softly.

"No," their unsub says.

What is his name? And why can Aaron not remember his name?

"If you put that knife down, and let her go, we can tell the courts that you cooperated with us. That'll be nice, won't it?" Kate adds. Her tone is completely level. Calming in a way that it shouldn't be.

The unsub grins, then presses the knife even closer to his victim's throat. She lets out a terrified whimper and closes her eyes. He yanks her hair, forcing her to open then, and he seems pleased with himself.

"I don't care about the courts. I care about the man I'm doing all of this for. He's going to be great, and he's going to make me great too. Just you wait and see."

This wasn't part of the profile. There was never meant to be a more dominant partner. The control Aaron has been clinging to in order to get through this case is slowly slipping away with each piece of information he either cannot remember or is introduced to him.

"He? Who is he?" Spencer asks.

The man cocks his head. "Is it not obvious?"

Spencer shakes his head. "We're not like you. We need you to explain."

He nicks the skin slightly. Blood pools at the tip of the blade. Another digression from the previous pattern. No knives were ever used to cut the skin. The kills had been quick and clean. Why was everything changing?"

"I won't."

"The only way you get out of this alive is if you explain everything to us. Because this man, he won't make you great. Whoever he is, he only cares about himself. Not you. Certainly not your life. But we care about you. Just set the knife down," Derek says.

Aaron knows he needs to contribute, but he just can't do it. His tongue is like a useless knot in his mouth that he can't undo because his brain is twisted too.

"No," the man says, bringing it dangerously close to the woman's pulse.

"Aaron!" Derek shouts. "You're the only one with a clear shot. You need to take it. Or do something. Do you hear me? You are the only one that can do this. If he moves that knife, take the shot."

Aaron turns in the sound of the voice. Derek is telling him that he needs to take the shot, and he can see why. With the way they're stood, he is the only one that can possibly avoid hitting either the woman or another team member.

He raises his hands, ignoring how they tremble. Front sight. Trigger press. Follow through. Three steps that he has been following since his days at the Academy. Three steps that mean he has never missed. Never failed.

The man smirks.

Aaron turns to make sure nobody else will get hurt, or can take the shot. But when he looks at Derek, it's not Derek.

It's Peter Lewis.

"No," he whispers, but in the silence of the room, he may as well have shouted at the top of his voice.

He turns to look at the man, and he sees that he is about to shoot Derek Morgan. The one person that has never been afraid of him. The one man that is still good and undamaged by his hands. The one man that can and has led the team without any sort of assistance with him.

"Aaron!" Derek's voice exclaims, but he still wears Mr Scratch's face.

Aaron does not know what is real anymore, but he knows he needs to minimise the damage. The gun falls from his hands, with the safety off. It lands on the floor with a clatter that is too loud to his ears.

Their unsub laughs, once, and slits the woman's throat. She falls to the ground, dead by the time she hits the ground. Derek- real Derek, whose hands have always been warmer than his- fires his gun once. The unsub also falls to the ground with a shout.

Aaron closes his eyes.

He hears his name.

He tastes copper.

He touches his own hand, startled by the coldness.

He sees Derek's terrified face.

He smells sage.

He smells sage. And then the world goes black.

When he comes round, he does not know where he is. He does not know where the team is. He cannot ground himself in the moment or come up with five facts that prove his surroundings are real.

He opens his eyes. The team is gone.

And he is covered in blood.

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thepermanentrainpress · 3 years

Text

THE PERMANENT RAIN PRESS INTERVIEW WITH AZRIEL DALMAN

He may only be 7 years old, but don’t let numbers fool you. Azriel (Azi) Dalman already has nearly thirty credits to his name! The accomplished young artist from Vancouver has had a big 2020, but there’s no slowing down for Azi, who has a number of exciting upcoming projects to share with the world.

Your older brother, Aias, is also an actor. While you are only 7 years old, tell us about your interest in following his footsteps, and what made you want to start auditioning for film/TV?

I loved seeing the completed films my brother was in but I didn’t really understand how he got into them. One day, I was 3 maybe, we went to a commercial audition for my brother and the Casting Director came into the waiting room and asked the kids to practice singing “Old MacDonald.” I knew the song and sang it also. They took the kids in to audition as a group and I asked why this was happening. My mom said it was because they were going to see who should be in the commercial where they sing it. I realized what an audition was then, it meant they were trying out to see who got to be on the video. I asked if I could go do it too and my mom said no because it was not my audition, so I asked if I could get auditions too. After that I got an agent. I never got to audition by singing “Old MacDonald” though so I guess that ship has sailed.

What are your favourite movies or characters?

I love Wall-E and Soul for cartoons. For TV Characters I like Jim and Dwight from The Office a lot. I used to want to be Jake Peralta from Brooklyn Nine-Nine and I think I definitely look like him! And of course I love the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe)!

What is your favourite snack from catering? Is there a food item that you’re most excited to see on the daily menu on-set?

My favourite is a drink, it’s the iced tea. I also like M&Ms but I’m only supposed to have the yellow or orange ones or my mouth will change colours which annoys the people who do makeup... I don’t want to stress them out. I like beef jerky and ramen bowls too but they usually hide those on the truck so you have to ask for them special. For lunch I like trying the new things but my favourite most recent new food was crunchy pork! The 3rd ADs are so nice and deliver the food to my trailer but I like to go for a walk after we eat in the trailer and say hi to the catering people and look at the dessert. On this last project, they learned I liked watermelon on the first day and kept keeping special watermelon for me.

You recently wrapped Coyote Creek Christmas, your first Hallmark Christmas Movie! Congratulations! You worked opposite Ryan Paevey (as your father) and Janel Parrish, tell us about your experience working with Ryan and Janel.

Ryan and Janel are the best humans. They are both down to earth, kind, patient, friendly, funny, loving, talented, and FUN. It was so much fun to work with them because they treated me like a real friend and with a lot of respect. They included me in all of their talks and fun, and never made me feel like I was annoying them because I am a kid. I was very excited to see them every day and now I ask to see their Instagram posts because I love looking at their pictures! I am not surprised they work a lot, they are so good at acting and being around them is so easy. Ryan knows everything about bugs and Pokémon. Both of them are obsessed with dogs and when they saw someone walk by with a dog, they would hug and kiss the dogs... random dogs! It was really funny. They taught me a lot of acting tips also, both on purpose and by accident.

We saw on Instagram that Ryan took you to see Free Guy at the movie theater! Was it easy for you to bond as father-son?

It was easy and instant and it feels like I’ve always known Ryan as a real uncle or something. Sometimes when I am someone’s kid in a movie, I have to do real acting to pretend I am their kid, not because they aren’t nice but because I don’t know them well and I don’t really get to know them too well on the project. With Ryan I didn’t really have to do any acting to pretend I knew him, because I got to know him fast.

What can you share about your character, Noah Bailey?

I don’t think I can say too many spoilers, but I will say that Noah gets to be sarcastic and funny, and I love that. I don’t get to be funny on a MOW (movie of the week) usually, I just get to be cute or scared or sad. Noah was supposed to be a 10-year-old so I got to do some smart lines! And we have some funny scenes too. Ryan said one of the scenes we have together is his favourite scene he has ever done because it’s so funny and cute, and I thought that was really cool.

You can now cross this career goal off your list! Why was a Hallmark Christmas Movie on your bucket list; what do you (and your family) enjoy about them each holiday season?

Christmas movies are the kind of movies you watch every year like a tradition and I love things that are a tradition. My family lives in Vancouver, Canada but MOST of my family lives in America so we don’t get to see them at Christmas. I wanted to be in a Christmas movie so my family far away could see me on the TV at Christmas when they are missing me and so I can watch the movie with my kids when I’m a grown up and say “haha that is me!” For Christmas my family puts up a tree and we eat really good food. We also watch Christmas movies like Rankin/Bass movies, Home Alone, and Die Hard which is definitely a Christmas movie. I basically love everything about Christmas, especially the decorating. My birthday is 2 days after Christmas so I think I’m a Christmas Boy for sure.

Is it funny to see Christmas decorations and fake snow in the summer?

It was a little bit funny but it was also confusing! My brain kept forgetting what season it was. My mom warned me over and over again with every Christmas movie audition that it would be hot, but the joke was on her because we actually had some days that were cold! There were only one or two reallllly hot outside days. We got very lucky. I think the times it was hot on set it was mostly because of the gear and no air conditioning being on. Air conditioning is too loud for movies, I think. It wrecks the sound or something.

You are set to star in the short film Dragon Fruit. What can you share about this project?

Dragon Fruit is going to be so good. The Director, Jeremy Brown, is really nice and smart and made the whole experience really special for all the actors. His props and special effects are amazing... he makes them almost all himself... and the film is going to be... guess what... a sci-fi! It’s post-apocalyptic. A funny thing about it is that I am very dirty in the film so I would go to set clean and they would basically put fake dirt all over me and make my hair messy, then when I left they would clean me up! On one of the shoot dates I had to do a live interview in the middle of the day for another project, so they had to make me dirty, clean me up, and then make me dirty again, and then clean me up again!

Yvonne Chapman will play your mother. She is remarkable in the CW’s Kung Fu as Zhilan. Did it surprise you to see her as the villain in the show?

I was shocked she was a villain because in real life she is definitely NOT a villain type, she is so nice. She is obviously very good at acting! But I am not surprised she is so tough in that show because she does some really tough things in Dragon Fruit too! Yvonne is really nice to work with also, she sits and talks to me and makes jokes with me. I am wrapped on Dragon Fruit now which is sort of sad, because we did it for like 6 months or something, but at least it means the film will be out soon.

You have a part in the action sci-fi Moonfall out next year, and you even made it into the teaser trailer! How exciting! While you likely cannot say much about Sonny Child, what can you share about your initial reaction to booking this movie?

Everything about Moonfall was very exciting. The audition was one of the first ones I got after the forced break by COVID and when we saw it was in Montreal and they were auditioning kids all over Canada we thought it was a long shot, but auditions are opportunities that can be very rare, so you should always do an audition if you are comfortable with it, and always do your best. Anyway yeah, this one was far from Vancouver so when I booked it, we were extra shocked and grateful. Honestly even after the booking, we were not sure it would really happen because of the virus and how things changed every day, so we did not even believe it would happen until we were on the plane! Montreal was the best, I loved it there so much, and I hope I get to work at Grande Studios again!

Did you get to meet and interact with your director, Roland Emmerich? What did you learn from him, and had you (or maybe your parents!) watched any of his previous films?

Yes of course, Roland was the Director so he directed me! Before we left, I watched Independence Day and I was very impressed and thought “This guy really knows what he is doing! I better know my role well!” Roland was very nice and so was Harald (Kloser). They both gave me lots of compliments and I loved that! It was very full-on too, I worked every minute of my time on set there with the exception of my legal breaks and lunch. I loved it so much and I hope I will get to work with Roland on another project someday. I don’t know how to specifically describe what I learned without spoilers, but yeah it was a huge learning opportunity.

What is your favourite object you have gotten to take home from any set?

It’s impossible to choose just one! These are in no order, ok? The first thing is actually TECHNICALLY a lot of things because I often get to take home wardrobe from my character’s “closet” when we wrap. I am obsessed with clothes and was given really cool clothing from the costumers on many sets. Most recently I got a mint hoody I love. I audition in those clothes a lot for good luck. The second thing is a special prop that Jeremy Brown MADE me on Dragon Fruit as a wrap gift. There is a super cool secret weapon in the movie that I will not spoil, and Jeremy MADE me a safer toy version of it. Before my mom saw it was a toy version, she looked very scared when he handed it to me! Third, there are two special items Noah Bailey ALWAYS has with him in Coyote Creek Christmas (no spoilers!) and Ryan, David Strasser (the Director), and Antonio Cupo (the Executive Producer) presented them to me TO KEEP AS GIFTS at wrap in front of the whole crew. It was very special. I am saving these things forever, even some of the clothes! AND one more ok? Fourth, I get to keep the signs that say my name on my set chair and/or trailer door during projects. I hang those up on my wall in my room.

Is there a dream role or character you would like to play in the future? If not character, are there any specific film/TV genres or franchises you would like to be in?

Ok so here’s the thing. I had a few wishes that I wanted to come true in acting... one was the Christmas movie... and one was to play a very specific other actor’s sibling in something. GUESS WHAT? Both those things came true in 2021. Do you know the odds of that sibling thing coming true... my mom said it seemed impossible! But it did come true SOMEHOW. So now I am setting my goals super high and not worrying about how impossible they seem or how many there are. My biggest next goal is to be in Marvel ANYTHING. And you know what, I think Ryan should be in Marvel too, so I think my next goal is to be in Marvel with Ryan! I also want to be a voice of a video game character pretty badly! I also want to do some comedy!

What are your favourite places to visit or eat at in Vancouver?

I am obsessed with sushi and Korean food and lately my favourite place is Shabusen Yakiniku House because you can get both. There’s also a place on Granville Street called The Colony that has a bunch of old arcade games and I love that place too but we haven’t been since before COVID. I hope it’s still there.

You also enjoy other forms of arts like ballet, reading, and writing comics. How do you find the time for all your activities, school, and your growing career in film?

Oh I have a lot of free time. It’s weird. It sounds like I do a lot of stuff but lots of other kids tell me they do like 10 activities really well! I don’t want to do 10 activities because I really like relaxing, so instead of doing like 10, I want to do a few and just do them really well. Ballet is great because I feel like a ninja in the clothes, I don’t have to audition to do it, and it’s definitely a sport. Reading and writing comics I can do while relaxing, and even when I’m on set!

Tell us about the role your parents play in your life and career, not only for you but your brother as well! You keep them busy, but they must be so supportive of you.

My mom does mostly all the acting stuff like keeping track of the auditions and taping and going to set. My dad is a little nervous about going to set for some reason, but I think he would be fine! We are very busy but no one seems to ever complain. The only time it’s a little sad is when we are apart for long during filming but we always do video calls then.

For other young actors like yourself, do you have any advice for how to be confident in front of the camera? What (or who) has helped you prepare for roles and memorize lines?

I think to feel confident you have to know what you are doing. I was confident when I was 3 for some random reason, and then I took some acting classes at LeBlanc School of Acting and those helped me know what I was doing for sure. I have had lots of coaches teach me stuff like Julian, Athena, Kirsten, Natalie, Brian, and Beatrice are a few of their names. Sorry if I forgot anyone! For most specific auditions, I use the things ALL those people taught me and then I work with my brother on the specific scripts. Oh and on the set of my last movie, my new actor friend Naomi King told me that you should learn the scene not the lines... but you will definitely learn the lines once you learn the scene!

We have our signature question for you – if you could be any ice cream flavour, which would you be and why?

Well... I would not want to be ice cream! But if I had to be, I’d definitely be Green Tea or Mango.

Thanks for the insight into your projects and thoughts, Azi! We cannot wait to see you return to action on our screens, and follow as your career grows. To stay up to date on Azi’s upcoming projects and get a behind the scenes look into his busy and exciting life, follow him on Instagram.

Photo credit (top) to: Candace Woods Special thanks to: NoodleHead Productions

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imriya · 6 years

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K Drama List Part 2

Bc I have no life I have watched a lot of drama’s so here’s part 2. Part 1 will be linked HERE . So here’s part 2 reviews and all

1. Doctor Stranger

Rating: N/A

I was recommended this really highly but honestly I couldn’t sit through past 2 episodes. I was so disappointed especially because I love Lee Jong Suk. I definitely won’t even try to watch this again. I really could not get into it at all.

2. Kill Me Heal Me

Rating: 9/10

I WAS HOOKED FROM THE FIRST EPISODE! I highkey fell in love with every single personality and I just can’t! I still talk about this drama all the time! It was so different from any other drama I’ve watched and the acting was absolutely brilliant! The way each personality is portrayed and how everything comes together in the end...If I had emotions I would have cried throughout but because I’m dead inside I only teared which is still a big deal considering how only 3 drama’s have made me cry so far

3. Because This is My First Life

Rating: 9/10

I literally just finished watching this like two seconds ago! IT WAS AMAZING! The side characters and their romance was just as well developed as the main! Soo Ji is a frickin badass and I love her so much! The female relationships as well as the male ones were just brilliant! There was no ‘villain’ in this one like there is in typical dramas which made me happy. This drama will have you crying, laughing and squealing!

4. 49 Days

Rating: N/A

I’m really disappointed. I heard really good things about this drama but I could barely sit through 2 episodes. I was cringing the whole way through. I would really only continue this because of the traveller but right now I can’t. I watched one episode and stopped for two days, having to hype myself up for the second.

5. The K2

Rating: 3/10

Maybe I’m just having really bad luck with drama’s but I couldn’t get through this either. Dont get me wrong, Ji Chang Wook was brilliant and the storyline is interesting too but god damn that female lead is so frickin annoying. I was so bored and done with her by the third episode. I just had to stop halfway through

6. Page Turner

Rating: 8.8/10

So, I binged this in one sitting. I’m not usually one for mini drama’s but after reading some recommendations I saw this one pop up in like 80% of it. BEST DECISION I HAVE EVER MADE! It’s such a relatable and mature drama whiile also making you laugh and tugging on your heartstrings. If i had emotions I would be bawling! I honestly need like 2 days to just savour this before starting on any other drama. It’s amazing and so is the acting and the storyline I AM IN LOVE

7. Marriage Not Dating

Rating: 6/10

This started out really well and had some good development including all of the K Drama Tropes plus a shit load of slaps but kinda lost momentum half way through. It could have ended 3 episodes earlier but they kept dragging it on. I had my fair share of squealing and what not but then I got bored.

8. Fated To Love You

Rating: N/A

Sigh... I really tried to stick it out with this one but I just couldn’t. The first two episodes were so cringy and everytime the dude laughed i seriously wanted to burst my eardrums. The female lead was really good but the storyline and the acting from the first male lead was just so bad I stopped halfway through episode 5. I heard the Taiwanese Drama was better than this one so watch the TDrama instead of this.

9. Hwarang

Rating: 7/10

I’ll be honest, the only reason I started watching this was because of Kim Taehyung aka. V from BTS I know im a terrible human being BUT i stayed for the amazing bromance! I found myself looking forward to the bromance more than anything and anytime something bad happened to the guys I winced and almost teared up. The female lead for this started out really good but then got cliched and slightly annoying but no where near as annoying as the lead for K2 sooo yeah the bromance in this will never be beaten i swear

10. Oh My Ghost

Rating: 6.5/10

It started off well and was incredibly interesting. I did put this off for a bit because i thought it would be scary and I’m honestly a wimp but save for one or two scenes the rest was alright and not scary at all. There is romance and mystery and comedy and one or two cringy scenes but other than that it was wow! The romance kinda overshadowed the mystery which for me was a little annoying but it was cute enough to let pass but it kinda goes at hyper-speed the last 3 episodes.

11. I’m Not A Robot

Rating: 8.9/10

IF I HAD EMOTIONS I WOULD BE AN EMOTIONAL WRECK RIGHT ABOUT NOW! OH LORD THIS DRAMA! okay so the reason it didn’t get a 9 and above is because I was expecting a lot more from the Aji 3 closing story but everything else was absolutely brilliant! The acting, the cute, the sad, the angry, the oh lord i wanna punch something, the squealing was just amazing! I had such high expectations for this drama and IT MET EVERY SINGLE ONE! This definitely goes in my top 10 list i just wished they did a little more for the tying up of the Robot’s storyline

12. Just Between Lovers

Rating: 9/10

OH MY HEART! This drama just proves that I seriously don’t have a tear duct because if I did I would be a sobbing wreck on the floor by now oh my lord where do I start?! So this drama is basically about an accident and how a shopping mall collapsed and it builds up from there with some flashbacks but wow I am so ASGSFKSGKF it made me laugh and almost cry especially the last two episodes oh lord This is deffo in my top 10

13. Cinderella and the Four Knights

Rating: 3/10

God, I really tried to stick this one out because I heard such good things about it but after the 5th episode i just couldn’t. It was so repetitive and boring and just plain. Everytime that OST played I wanted to bang my head in. It’s so mindless.

14. Emergency Couple

Rating: 5.5/10

It started out reallllly bad and i mean like properly bad even Thumping Spike 2 had a better start but I stuck with it and it was a cute drama, funny as well but I think the angst was played out too much.

15. Ask Us Anything/ Knowing Brothers

Rating: 9/10

Okay I know im cheating since this isnt like a drama but ITS SO FUNNY! Honestly the best time pass thing to watch ever! Its basically these 7 guys in a classroom setting just taking the piss out of famous people who come on their show omg i love it! It’s a weekly thing and i think they’re on season 3 or 4 but seriously hilarious

16. The Moon Embracing The Sun

Rating: 8.8/10

First of all MY HEART! Second of all THE CASTING OH MY LORD THE CASTING IS SO ON POINT! If you read my KDrama Rec List 1 you would know that Moon Lovers basically ruined all of the period dramas for me and Hwarang was the first period drama I watched after that but THIS ONE OH MY LORD THIS ONE! THE KIDS WERE AMAZING AND BRILLIANT AND BASICALLY GOT ME ADDICTED TO THIS DRAMA and dare I say it, even more amazing than the adults! Also like Hyung Sun is the real MVP. My heart is both full and broken at the same time. There was tearing but no tears.

17. Eulachacha Waikiki / Laughter in Waikiki

Rating: 9.5/10

THIS SKYROCKETS ALL THE WAY TO MY TOP 5! I was waiting for this to finish so I could watch it and I had high expectations - IT MET EVERY SINGLE ONE! It was hilarious and had me on the floor the whole time! It also had romance and sadness and kinda reminded me of Fight For My Way in the group of friends growing together part. I absolutely loved it and if I didn’t have responsibilities I would have literally finished this in two days! All I’m going to say is - #ProtectDuShik2k18

18. Chicago Typewriter

Rating: 5/10

I was recommended this by literally every single K Drama Rec that I saw but I just couldn’t get into it. After 5 episodes I was still kinda meh about it and was just watching it for the sake of watching it. The storyline of past lives and lovers and the switching of timelines was interesting no doubt but perhaps it just wasn’t for me.

19. Problematic Men

Rating: 8/10

Again, I know Im cheating ‘cause it’s not exactly a drama but more so a variety show but omg it’s so good! I started it because of Namjoon but I stayed for the rest of them! It’s basically these men who are really smart and they try to solve problems and puzzles and test their IQ, which i know sounds really boring but trust me it’s anything but! It’s hilarious and really challenging and like i was so determined to solve it myself as well. The first episode is really meh but i promise it gets so much better!

20. Great Seducer

Rating: 6/10

I’m not going to lie, this started out so well! I absolutely loved the concepts and the characters and the character building but after episode 22 it just got SO REPETITVE and i was so bored. I just watched for the sake of watching and had to hype myself up for the next episodes. Soo Ji and Se Joo are an amazing side cast, way better than the leads if you ask me but it was an alright drama overall. It just wouldn’t be off the top of my head reccomendation if someone asked me what to watch

21. The Liar and His Lover

Rating: 3/10

I think my bad luck streak with KDrama’s has started again. I got 4 episodes in and was already so damn annoyed. The female lead was crying for a good 90% of the whole drama. The male lead was whining and I wanted to punch the both of them. The OST and Chan Young was the only saving grace of this drama, well them and Crude Play. Those people are cuuuute. There kind of is a second lead syndrome but it’s not that bad.

22. The Universe’s Star

Rating: 6/10

I was recommended this by a friend who said it gave off Goblin vibes. It was cute but really cringy. Basically its about this fangirl who died and is now a grim reaper who is ‘protecting’ her favourite idol. The acting was amazing but... the lines were just cringy.

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itssydvicious · 7 years

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random tag!

I was tagged by @calithildes! Thanks! <3

1. who are you named after?

I was named after the actor Sidney Poitier! He was in this movie that my mom and dad liked called ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner’; it’s about this Caucasian girl who brings her African-American fiancé (Sidney Poitier) over for dinner. Their relationship in the movie was similar to my mom and dad’s, since my dad is African-American and my mom is half Caucasian, half Japanese. Anyways, Sidney Poitier has the same birthday as my mom, and has a daughter named Sydney, so they decided to name me that. But my mom wanted a 5-letter name, so she changed it to Sydni. Also, my middle name is 愛 (Ai), which means ‘Love’ in Japanese!

sorry that was a long explanation let’s move on

2. last time you cried?

I honestly don’t remember but it was either from two things: from laughing waaaaaaay too much with my friends over something stupid one of us said or from thinking/watching/reading about something related to FMA.

Actually, now that I think about it, it was probably from watching ‘Twinsters’. It’s a great documentary about these two girls who look the same and found out about the other over that internet and they start talking and they do a DNA test to see if they’re related and OH GOD IT’S SO EMOTIONAL OK?!

3. do you like your handwriting?

For the most part, no. It’ll go from print to cursive just in one word, so most of the time you can’t even read what it says. >.<

4. what is your favorite lunch meat?

Probably ham or salami, but that’s because that’s the only lunch meat they have in normal supermarkets that is actually sliced. i miss baloney... T-T

5. do you have kids?

Umm, no. I’m always kinda hanging out with little kids, since my mom is a Preschool teacher, but yeah I would loooooove one or two or three in the future.

6. do you use sarcasm?

yep, all the freaking time.

7. do you still have your tonsils?

yep. i was looking forward to getting them removed tho, cause then I could eat all the ice cream i want and not be judged for it.

8. would you bungee jump?

HELL NO omg this and skydiving too, I mean you could promise me $10 billion dollars if I do it, and I would say ‘NOPE’. but i mean if you promised me that i could meet josh and tyler from tøp, then I might reconsider

9. what is your favorite kind of cereal?

I love any kind of super unhealthy cereal like Cinnamon Toast Crunch lol. But, again, normal supermarkets in Japan only have Frosted Flakes, so that’s what I always eat.

10. do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Unless it’s actually impossible to take it off without untying the laces, I will continue to murder my heel by stepping on it until the shoe comes of.

11. do you think you’re strong?

Physically, sort of. I mean I can give piggy back rides to my skinney friends without trouble, but that’s about it lol. Emotionally, I’d like to think so, but I also cry in my bed once a week just thinking about FMA sooooooooo

12. what is your favorite ice cream?

Either Chocolate Chip cookie dough or Cookie n’ Cream. yum

13. what is the first thing you notice about someone?

Probably the clothes that they’re wearing or their face.

14. football or baseball?

Hmm, I guess baseball??? When I went back to America last summer, we saw a Yankees game and that was awesome but football is pretty cool too.

15. what is the least favorite thing about yourself?

my inability to speak my mind

16. what color pants are you wearing right now.

brown lol (it’s pajamas, ok?)

17. favorite smell?

Vanilla, cinnamon, and this ‘Strawberry Sparkles’ shimmer mist from B&BW

18. who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

My mom, but tbh I never call anyone I just text.

19. favorite sport to watch on tv?

Figure skating (i wonder why)

20. hair color?

Dark brown, which is boring af

21. Eye color?

Also dark brown, which is also boring af

22. favorite food to eat?

Sushi! Omg especially salmon cheese mmmmmm it’s sooooooooo good. I probably eat sushi with friends or family at least once a week.

23. scary or funny movies?

Probably funny movies but I also reallllly love scary movies. Well, actually, here’s the thing about me, I LOVE gorey movies. Anything with zombies and brains and guts in it is amazing. But as soon as a possessed child or a creepy doll shows up, I have nightmares for a week, so yeah I hate those kinds of movies

24. last movie you watched?

‘The Intern’!! It was such a good movie! I really loved it! The comedy in it was the kind that I love so yeah it was great!

25. what color shirt are you wearing?

light pink

26. favorite holiday?

Thanksgiving!! It was really nice back in America cause everyone would bring a dish to the family house (ours was always my mom’s broccoli casserole yum) and we’d eat and afterwards the adults would talk about who knows what while the kids went out and played and yeah I miss it. TT-TT But this last Thanksgiving was pretty cool since my brother and I got to invite some friends over and eat with them! <3

27. wine or beer?

Neither. Honestly, I don’t see what’s so good about alcohol in the first place and why everyone wants to drink it. I think it’s pretty easy to have a good time without alcohol but what do I know? I’m only 15 and I’ve never had alcohol before >.< but I guess as long as you’re of age and you’re not hurting others or yourself, it’s fine with me lol

Thanks again for tagging me!

i tag:

@smol-gryffindor, @natieland, @avatarmerida, @doyouevenhavetoask, @halfbakedbagel, @ohmytheon and whoever else wants to do this!!

#random tag #don't feel like you have to do it!!#idk what else to put in this...

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