#but when it comes to fantasy you draw the line at gay people being loved and happy? 🤨

[bylertruther-moved]

is it just me or does anyone else think it would be more interesting if instead of following the same old tired and sad trope of “small town gay youth falls in love with his seemingly straight best friend during the eighties and ends up dejected and all alone” they flipped the script and gave them a win?

wouldn’t it be more interesting to take the audience’s tired expectations and flip them on their head?

wouldn’t it be more interesting to follow up on the fact that the only person that loves this “straight best friend” the way he needs and wants to be loved is indeed his gay best friend that’s conveniently been in love with him since the very beginning?

wouldn’t it be more interesting to show that the special relationship this “straight best friend” has with his gay best friend was special not only because they were besties but because his feelings were there, too, he just didn’t realize their nature?

wouldn’t it be more interesting to show that there’s a reason why the “straight best friend” effortlessly and naturally treats his best friend the exact way that his girlfriend begs him to treat her?

wouldn’t it be more interesting to finally face and name the reason why this “straight best friend” can maintain his friendships with everyone else while in a relationship except for his gay best friend who has had parallels with his girlfriend from the very beginning?

wouldn’t that be more interesting than ignoring all of the previous seasons and making milkyway, the one dysfunctional and dishonest ship on the show, endgame?

wouldn’t it be more in line with the stranger things shtick to continue to subvert these tropes as they’ve done from the very beginning?

why do people want this to be the one time that they actually fail to do that? like, i know why, but i want to hear them say it.

#byler #like obviously i know my byler brigade agrees. but it's like. the unrequited route would be so boring and expected and sad. #both in the vein of will not ever being allowed to win or be happy AND in the vein of that being hailed as #Super Realistic despite this being a sci-fi show about otherworldly monsters and children with powers. #so it's okay to have powered children and monsters in your show #but when it comes to fantasy you draw the line at gay people being loved and happy? 🤨 #IF they give a shit about a coherent story then they would follow up on it. there has to be a reason why they present all these problems for #milkvan and then in the next scene they show you that mike is perfectly capable of doing what eleven needs him to do he just would rather do #that with will than with her. there has to be a reason why byler don't and have never had the issues that milkvan does. #there has to be a reason why milkvan have been on different pages and lying to each other and so insecure abt themselves with relation #to the other while byler are literally confirming on screen that they feel like equals and are a team and honest to e #ach other always [disregarding the car confession which is... a truth/lie] #like. unless they're baiting or being awful they have to be pointing to one thing here...

[eisforeidolon]

In regards to that post [X]:

We could talk about the same old fallacies - OMG, Dean's siren is a guy! Yeah, a brother. OMG, Dean was supposed to say I love you in the Crypt scene! Yeah, it was removed and replaced with what the writer explicitly said was the less OOC version of what he meant anyway, "We're family". We could talk about the blatant absurdity of statements like "Dean liked men it happened on my screen" which bear no resemblance to the SPN that aired. But we've done that before and others have got this reiteration of it well covered.

So I wanna focus for the moment on this particular even more repulsive gem: "Like he literally doesn't need to verbally tell us he's bisexual we just know. He may not know but we do. This is an unmovable fact sorry."

It tells us a few things. One, this person is a fucking idiot. Two, this person, yet again, thinks that ~*interpreting*~ sexuality from the way someone looks/stands/makes eye contact/eats pastry/whatever numbnuts conspiracy bullshit you like? Is more valid than how a character identifies and is identified by those who created him. People can just look at you and know what your sexuality is better than you do, there's nothing repulsive about that idea at all! I've got a mountain of shiny pennies that says if Dean had literally never interacted with a man for the entire span of the series, they would have insisted it was because he was so afraid of how much he wanted to fuck them. There was no way the writers could have written Dean that someone like that would have accepted as actually heterosexual, because that's not what they personally wanted, so that's not what they were going to see.

I'm not saying there aren't things that might be said about how relatively questionable some of the gay jokes in SPN are, especially in the early years in terms of making queerness a punchline. But if we're going to talk about that? We need to do it not only in the cultural context of 2005 rather than 2023, but in the context of portrayals of real world men - and particularly those in fairly rural settings who aren't going to be particularly conscientious in the way they rib each other. Which becomes a whole other discussion about where to draw lines when you're writing fiction and dealing with things that might be realistic but also potentially offensive.

Furthermore, I'm not saying there aren't things that might be said about how SPN continually used romantic tropes for platonic relationships and how it's not entirely absurd for that to land different with the audience when the characters are not blood-related. Except that discussion needs to include not just how maybe the writers shouldn't have treated it as such a joke that a relationship between two male characters might have been possible, but also how fans should absolutely not have equated a relationship being theoretically possible with any specific relationship they wanted being owed to them. Especially in the context of those romantic tropes being used so so so much more between brothers all the fucking time setting the tone. As well as how it's not just problematic to treat the possibility of homosexual relationships as a joke, but problematic to insist literally any closeness between two male entities is gay, reinforcing all kinds of nasty toxic stereotypes about sexuality and masculinity which underlay a lot of modern adult men's issues with expressing their emotions and having genuinely close and open relationships outside of their romantic partners. I've seen fans wonder how heterosexual dudes can watch this show and love the brothers' relationship without seemingly noticing the weird undertones of how claustrophobically intertwined they are, and I think it's very much that when it comes to wanting a fantasy of platonic closeness, they're looking for realism as much as most women reading trashy romance novels are - but that's a whole other digression and this is already too long.

At the end of the day, not only was SPN not created in the cultural context of Very Online Tumbrites in 2023, convinced that nothing should ever be is heterosexual and every fictional story should be about them and what they want? The fact their ostensible original point misses is the real world and most other media of 2023 aren't like that either! Some of these shippers come across like they've literally never seen two adult male friends interact with each other or any actual love stories in media - and it's not just early 2000's television characters getting this treatment from entitled shippers who want to use representation as a weapon against creators as to why they're owed things they absolutely aren't.

#destihellers #faux social justice #long post #Dean *exists* = OMG SO BI!

[pan-gaa]

My problem with the BL industry -part 1-

Where do we draw the line?

I want to start this by saying I myself have been a BL fan for many years, I just want to share my thoughts on the issues cultivated by this industry in the eyes of a queer man. I want to focus on the sexualization of “toxic” more so abusive relationships that are portrayed. Because the manwha Jinx is one of the most popular BLs at the moment and it fits as an example of my point, I’ll be speaking a little bit about it.

What was the purpose of the BL genre? Well for women it was a media that served as escapism since most mature media was very much male oriented. Women could not feel connected to the characters portrayed only to please men’s disturbing fantasies. Between the impossible body standards and the clear lack of regard for the woman autonomy it isn’t a surprise that women felt quite disconnected from 18+ media. That’s when an adult genre came to fruition, 18+ media for women by women but no woman was portrayed in these stories in fact the main focus was relationships between 2 men. The disconnect from societal pressures helped woman enjoy 18+ content without feeling guilt or disgust. But how a genre created to disconnect toxic attributes in media became just that but for another demographic? Now the people on the other end of this discomfort are queer people, not only gay men. Romanticizing dangerous power dynamics, dubious consent, sexualizing toxic stereotypes,infantilization ect. The list goes on of all real life issues that the queer community deal with but are nothing but entertainment within this genre.

Not all BLs are bad! Im very aware since again I am quite the fan of some but this is more me criticizing the industry per se. The problem is that toxicity sells, what companies want is to sell and that opens the doors for people to make more toxicity for whatever their reasons. All that moves us to where we are today were we have one the most popular current themes being Stockholm syndrome and how it is hot. I’ve been seeing myself how I have been dropping more series than I have finished, I kept getting hit with more and more of this toxic clichés. It was like I was playing bingo and hoping I didn’t win, I would get so excited for stories that did the bare minimum and yet those were hard to find which has made my current experience quite exhausting. Of course I’m no longer the teen who would let anything pass because “hot characters” and even more hot scenes but now as an adult that just doesn’t cut it anymore. Showing toxic situations in media on its own is not the problem but it is the context in which they are shown, these are not cautionary tales but “love stories” the intent is for you to root for those characters. Not only is the relationships an issue but the way they portray queer people overall, the disrespect for bisexual people, trans people and lesbians in some of these stories is quite appalling since these are suppose to be queer stories. I think this says a lot about the industry and some of the artists involved, before it could maybe be used as an excuse the lack of knowledge but to me that no longer holds in the age of the internet.

Now I’ll like to mention one of the stories I’ve personally been a little tired of seeing, Jinx. I was quite interested in the manwha when it was announced, as I’ve mentioned before I’m all about the visuals and seeing the improvement of the artist was endearing. I’m aware the BL is still ongoing but I have read BJ Alex which can add a little context on how the artist manages their stories. This is not a personal diss on the artist or those who are reading the story, I just think with all these kinds of popular stories we gotta ask ourselves, Where do we draw the line? Jinx is your typical story of the protagonist being someone that went thru trauma and has to spent their whole life trying to pay some insane debt, then comes the romantic interest being a famous rich person with an unchecked personality disorder that takes advantage of the power dynamic and uses the protagonist to his convenience. It is quite an overdone premise and in this story we see it as a black listed physical therapist and a famous athlete, the protagonist Dan appears to act like an Angel while Jaekyung keeps bullying him and using him for other acts. The story so far has been quite literally only this, and you see in the comments people hoping for a redemption arc for Jaekyung, at some point in this story readers have to realize that a good ending would be Dan leaving this situation but unfortunately I don’t have much hope for that. Jinx is not the only story doing this but it is one of the most popular at the moment, we also have stories like Painter Of The Night which is literally the love story between a kidnapper and his victim.

BL is a genre that can be enjoyed by anyone yet it seems like lately it can become queer stories but not for queer people but more so toxic fantasies put onto another group of people that also have to fight for their own respect. It’s perfectly fine to enjoy good ol 18+ media that is morally grey or maybe somewhat toxic but when an industry gains so much money on portraying real issues as unserious fantasies so continuously, I think it’s time we ask ourselves as the readers; When is it too much? When does it get disrespectful to the people it’s portraying? Where do we draw the line?

#anime and manga #manwha #bl manhwa #bl manga #bl industry #essay #opinion #short essay #jinx manhwa

[yarrowleef]

mmm somethings been rattling around inside my brain about queerness in xenofiction (warrior cats centric cause that's obviously mostly what people are talking about in my internet circles) and I know around here I am preaching to the choir but w/e. I feel like i may have made this post before but i’ll do it again until i feel like i’ve crafted all of my thoughts correctly

everyone knows there’s always like. some shmuck on twitter or youtube comment sections, complaining about how gay cats just don’t make sense ~realistically~

and the common argument back is always something along the lines of “these cats have complex society and religion and talk to ghosts and sometimes have magic powers, and being gay is where you draw the line? it doesn’t have to be realistic”

and something just rubs me the wrong way about that argument, not that it’s WRONG, it’s not wrong, xenofiction by definition is all super super unrealistic. I think it’s more like, it oversimplifies it. because honestly when I make critiques about the warriors world building not making sense, I don’t tend to like the argument beginning and ending at “well it doesn’t have to be realistic” because no it doesn’t but it’s still supposed to feel believable.

i think i don’t like that the argument seems to imply that gay animal characters are at all on par with other fantasy things like talking to ghosts and having powers or complex religion. I also don’t like it when people who are being fake-supportive can condescendingly say “well the gay couple may be completely absurd and unrealistic but I guess it’s ok because its just a silly fantasy :) ” cause like. Like its not unrealistic tho. i don’t like the implication that it’s uniquely unrealistic, if this was a grounded story with no magic or religion and the cat social groups were more inspired by real feral cats, it would still be illogical for some queer cats not to exist.

 I feel like it is a more effective argument to point out that straight cats are just as unrealistic, in fact more unrealistic and silly

“cats lovingly and monogamously married-for-life and raising kids together” is the absurdity it should be compared to, rather then the magic elements. Because then the complainers have to contend with the fact that they aren’t bothered by unrealistic relationships between cat characters, they are just uniquely bothered by gay ones. 

I mean...not to get tmi but it seems obvious to me this knee jerk reaction people have to rolling their eyes and scoffing when “gay” and “animal character” are placed in the same sentence is based on their insistence on equating the breeding behavior of animals to the romantic relationships of humans. Y'know, they're assuming that when people talk about romantic couples between anthro characters, that that is the sort of thing they are drawing from. When, certainly when it comes to cats, that is a very very poor equivalent. Cat mating behaviors are not affectionate or long lasting--they actually seem quite stressful, and then the father runs off to find more girls and probably never calls his one-night-stand again.  

this is why I am really not fond of “mate” being used at the go-to replacement for husband/wife in xenofiction. Consider just coming up with a brand new word for your animal character’s version of romance! maybe they have types of relationships and words for them that humans don’t even have! but “mate” feels like. an action, nothing more. It doesn’t inherently imply love. frankly I think more people should be anthropomorphizing mates as simply Business Partnerships where the business is in desiring offspring, as opposed to husband/wife.

Just like....ok if you’re going to use the real behavior of animals as at least the loose inspiration for your anthropomorphic character’s behavior, surely pair bonding would be a smoother translation to what we view as a romantic couple?? not mating?? because pair bonded animals are the ones having consistent pleasant interactions, and being physically affectionate, and working together in life, sometimes even raising each others kids together.  

And keeping that in mind, frankly you could argue that gay-coded cats should be the norm. (not that I think pair bonded creatures should always be interpreted as a romantic coded relationship, you could interpret some as platonic or familial or simply allies needing to survive. The point is no matter what route you go, you are projecting some human experience onto animals who’s minds and feelings we cannot ever actually understand. So to make it coded as a gay romance is just as reasonable as making it an adopted found-family sort of affection. You can go any route and be the same amount of unrealistic.)

If these losers actually want reasonable cat fiction, no one should have romantic affection for anyone! and if two cats have kittens together, it should be treated more like a short-lived antagonistic business partnership where you part ways immediately after. If you only criticize one type of romance for being “unbelievable and silly because these are CATS for crying out loud 🙄” but you don't feel “distracted” or “taken out of the story” about the other type of romance, then this aint about realism my guy, sounds like you just have some baggage to unpack.

I am beating people over the head with a very big sign that reads “Whether you’re writing about cats or birds or aliens or fantasy people or whatever, you cannot grant any creature the ability to love without all the variety and complexity that **naturally** goes hand in hand with those messy emotions. If the creatures can fall in love at all, then there must exist the possibility for some of them to be queer about it. And if you view queerness as unnatural, then we don’t have a writing disagreement, we have a fundamental moral disagreement about life. And I can’t help you there, that’s your problem! But I refuse to let people benignly hide behind a “simple desire for more realistic-feeling fiction uwu” as a defense!! (gay people are real. It’s true! I checked!!)”

#i have to think about this a lot bc someday i am going to hopefully publish an original cat story with a lesbian protag #and then i am going to have to listen to some version of these arguments for the Rest Of My Life #i feel like someday i could write a thesis on queerness in xenofiction and how the whole sentiment of 'the natural' has been distorted #-by shitty political agendas since forever. The Natural became an unquestionable bludgeon bigots use against anything that feels 'icky' #and those sentiments have of course leaked into the general publics perception #and of course it crops up in Xenofiction first!!! the genre that is peoples attempt to rationalize the animal world #and lazy xenofiction writers just regurgitate this sanded down unscientific limited perspective of what ~natural~ behaviors look like #WHERE is that quote Ursula made about watership down #and like and like. look it SNOWBALLS and we live in a SOCIETY-- #*grabs the youtube comment section goers by the lapels and shakes them around* #DO YOU THINK IT IS TRULY **NATURAL** THAT SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE THIS KNEE JERK REACTION AGAINST QUEERNESS IN FANTASY #BECAUSE SOME PART OF THEM HAS BEEN LED TO BELEIVE THAT BIGOTRY IS THE NATURAL STATE OF THINGS #AND QUEERNESS AND DIVERSITY EXISTING IS JUST SOME QUIRK OF MODERN SOCIETY #THAT IS OUT OF PLACE AND '''''UNREALISTIC'''' IN ANY FICTIONAL SOCIETY THAT IS MEANT TO BE CLOSER TO THE ~NATURAL WORLD~ #you think YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS CONCERNED ABOUT REALISM AND RATIONALITY IN THIS CONVERSATION I AM BITING YOUR KNEE CAPS RN #yarrow speaks #long post #warrior cats #technically but again this broadly applies to xenofiction As A Whole animal and humanoid fantasy species alike

[authortango]

Book Review - How to Win a Wager &  Bite Your Neighbor by D. N. Bryn

I recently finished reading How to win a Wager & Bite Your Neighbor by D. N. Bryn ( @brynwrites ), and I wanted to write a review to show my support and share my thoughts about this fantastic book.

Though my review touches on key themes and plot points from the book, there are no big spoilers in it. I’ve still put it under the cut though in case you’d like to read the book before reading this. Review TL;DR - 5/5, I can’t wait for the next one. You can purchase a copy off Amazon or through one of the other options on @brynwrites website here.

How to Bite Your Neighbor & Win a Wager is a slow-burn romance novel by D.N. Bryn, that also happens to include side-plots regarding vampire rights and committing espionage against an evil pharmaceutical company.

“Wesley didn’t tell his legs to move, but neither did he tell his lungs to breathe or his heart to beat. They did so because they were born to, and he was born to run into Vincent’s arms.”

This quote occurs very late in the book, but I feel it perfectly describes the dynamic chemistry and slow burn relationship Wesley has with Vincent. Also, I didn’t think it was possible for two characters to be so horny and yet so wildly oblivious.

This book was fantastic. I got the horny, vampire fantasy that I bought the book for, but I also received the gradual build to a true, romantic relationship between Wesley and Vincent, as well as an enthralling mystery about the shady pharmaceutical company, Vitalis-Barron, that pretty much owns the town. 

Without spoiling anything, I want to touch on some key things I really liked about the book. For example, I really liked how morally grey Wesley’s character is, as Kendall, his best friend, describes it. His whole character arc as well is very satisfying as he comes to terms with a lot of his trauma and learns to redeem himself. 

I liked all of the meta/self-referential moments in the book in the form of comics and video games, and how it was made a part of the world-building instead of being too jokey or fourth wall breaking. The same thing about the true villains, Vitalis-Barron - it wasn’t too jokey, no “dur-hur evil pharmaceuticals” - no man these people are evil and have a deep rooted history in being evil, as most corporations do. 

The world-building and the politics about being a vampire in general and how vampires live on thin, marginalized lines on the edge of society was also incredibly well done. I love books that take classic vampire myths and decide what to keep and kill from them, as well as recontextualizing them with what it may look like today in a more modern society. Vincent’s experience being a vampire and a semi-closeted gay man explores a lot of what that would look like, but also draws an excellent parallel that gives poignant insight on what it is like to be disabled and LGBTQIA+ in today’s society. I’m sure this was an on-purpose parallel done by the author, and it was incredibly well done.

One more excellent thing D. N. Bryn does with the storytelling is how the miscommunication as a romance trope is executed in a way that is believable and moves the story along. Each character has an incredibly valid, albeit dubiously ethical reason to not tell each other what they really want to. I never once felt taken out of the romance, the intrigue, or the suspense of the plot by the miscommunication issues. It was so well done, I had to put the book down and calm down at the blowup/reveal point, because of how stressed out I was about it.

Overall this was a fantastic book! I give it 5/5, and I can’t wait to read D.N. Bryn’s sequel to this, How to Sell Your Blood and Fall In Love, when it comes out. You can purchase a copy of How to Bite Your Neighbor and Win a Wager from Amazon, or you can check out their website at www.dnbryn.com to find more places to purchase their book.

#book review #how to bite your neighbor and win a wager #guides for dating vampires #brynwrites #d.n. bryn #other people's writing #writeblr #writeblr authors #independant authors #indie authors

[cutieparadox]

OK PERSONA OC EXPLANATION BECAUSE. YES. I FINALLY FIGURED EVERYTHING OUT. UNDER THE CUT. if you saw me struggle to add a line break no you didnt.

I keep referring to my persona ocs and acting like everyone knows who they are and what I’m talking about, so, yeah here they are.

This is an original story, so this doesn’t happen during any of the games, or have any of the canon characters, this could be an alternate timeline, maybe one where the p2 timelines never split?? That’s not super important, but it does take place in sumaru city.

Or more accurately, it takes place in Yokohama! I’ll call it Sumaru City, but all of the background shots I’ll draw are just Yokohama. So.

The main cast is all based on each persona game, so for example Asuka is persona 3, so she’s blu-themed, and she's coming to terms with the limited time she has and to stop caring about other people because of it. Nana is based on persona 2 so she’s scarlet red themed and her character development is being like “yeah horrible things have happened to me, but I can decide if I become more bitter and angry because of it, or I can become a loving and supportive person instead.”, etc, etc.

So all of these people (Asuka Iwasaki, Nana Akiteru, Mikuru Saki, Ruuna Narumi, and Oka Morishita)

are childhood friends, Oka, Asuka, and Nana being the first to meet, and then Saki and Ruuna move in and meet them after, and they become INSEPARABLE like these 5 are just a package deal. They are split up between the two schools from persona 2, but they just run to the middle point once school ends to hang out anyway.

Ok so for the actual PERSONA stuff!!

In 2022, (when this story takes place), a strange phenomenon has been happening for about 4 years.

People have noticed objects or ideas from their dreams appearing in reality, but only to them. Reflections change to their fantasy self, surroundings shifting for only a moment.

Mental illness diagnosis and hospitalization have gone up tenfold, even if the patient's family history doesn’t have any listed psychosis cases. It’s baffled scientists and other researchers for years, as there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it.

More recently, a particularly extreme set of cases has started happening all over japan. People have started suddenly going into a psychotic breakdown, speaking absolute nonsense and parading through the streets, possibly hurting other people or causing property destruction. They also end up admitting things they would NEVER admit willingly while in this trance, I have this vivid idea of a married man falling victim to this, and admitting to his wife that he never actually saw her as anything other than a friend and that he only married her to ignore the fact that he was gay and in love with his best friend. This character wouldn’t be important, just an idea of what happens.

They can not be stopped unless death or stamina runs out. Eventually, they run out of energy and collapse on the spot! Just. Crumple. These patients almost always fall into a coma and die after a month or so. When they are in that coma, their brain shuts off completely. Not even essential brain waves are active, and yet, their heart still beats?? I haven’t figured that part out uh

The apparent cause has been privately researched by two scientists by the names of Lain Hayashi and Ayaka Suzuki, as well as their assistants Ami Iwasaki and Ichiro Narumi.

Ami is Asuka’s Cousin, and Ichiro is Ruuna’s older brother and legal caretaker, as well as the owner of the house they live in. Ami lives there too, her and Ichiro have been dating since they were in school.

Both of them are super cute together. I adore them. the heterosexuals ever.

The “Lab” (I haven’t thought of a name for it, probably something like project blank) came up with the theory of the “Rem cycle” phenomenon, as well as the idea of the “inside”

Only persona users can enter the inside, so out of the research team, only Ami and Ichiro can enter it.

The inside is a HUGE towering hospital with a large labyrinthine courtyard.

I’ll talk about the courtyard first, it’s like mementos essentially. Something like..” forgotten dreams are laid to rest here” so it’s overgrown and stuff. It’s actually off to the side, so it’s like. Out of the way.

The individual dreams are separated into wards. These wards are basically pockets of whatever dream the holder is having. So, for example, if someone is having a dream where they are the Prime Minister, the dream world would be that version of japan. Or if anyone had a dream about being a princess in a Victorian castle then the ward would be that area of the world, and more particularly whatever castle they would live in. Persona users are not exempt from falling victim to this. Using my last example, one of my ocs is actually like that. She is completely aware that she is in a dream, and that her real body will die. She’s able to control everything around her because of that awareness. This is exclusive to persona users. But in most cases, at least the only case I had written which is aforementioned, they have to fuse with their shadow, therefore taking its place. I haven’t worked out all the logistics of that, so come back to me on that later. I just know that fusing causes heterochromia, with one eye being their natural color, whichever one the dominant side of their handsis, and the other being the yellow that shadows are known for. It also causes incredible power shifts that can be very physically dangerous. It doesn’t however cause any split personality tropes, because the shadow is them, so there’s no battle for control type things. Hypothetically there could be if you fuse with a shadow that is not your own, but I haven’t thought about that much.

The goal of these persona users is to kill the shadow and release the holder, or in the case of the fused people, get them to relinquish control and allow the ward to crumble and for them to return to reality.

When in the inside, persona users get their own outfits. Basically the metaverse outfits or magical girl transformations. Small colors change depending on the Ward, however.

Another interesting thing, particularly skilled persona users can bend the inside to their whims, if only in certain ways. Things like weapons appearing from thin air, floating/flying, destroying different structures,etc.

Two shadows end up joining the team as well after the rest of their awakenings. They are completely safe and stuff no like. Betrayal.

They didn’t have a name so they asked the team to name them.

Shadow A ends up asking for “the prettiest cutest loveliest name you can give me” so, she got Kokorohime MajiBaton Loveha. The ultimate KiraKira bs name. Everyone calls her Hime but she insists strangers call her by her full “legal” name, much to everyone else’s dismay.

Shadow B asked for any name that didn’t sound like that. So they got Natsuro Masa. Yay! New team members get. The two move in with Ruuna and Ami and Ichiro! Ami thought they were so cute so she was fine with it, And Ichiro was too tired to care and they had an extra room anyway. He basically just said “whatever kids have fun”

Eventually, they named the team “ dream saviors” or “YumeYumis!” I just call them the saviors in my head.

Other random stuff includes:

All of the saviors' (and Ichiro and Ami's) personas are the muses from Greek mythology! Some of these are super shallow relations but uh. Ignore that it will make sense eventually!! Here is The list of personas and how they connect to the characters are:

Ami has Erato, the muse of Love poetry. She’s like dangerously in love with Ichiro, like. Girly would put her life on the line for that man. (and it’s completely mutual dw)

Ichiro has Clio, the muse of history. Uh. He’s smart! That’s it!! I kind of didn’t have any other ideas for him I’m so sorry my baby boy.

Nana has Melpomene, the muse of tragedy and chorus. Nana has gone through some stuff. Like really. I haven’t exactly decided what. But I do know it’s some STUFF. So uh. Tragedy!

Saki has Calliope, The muse of epic poetry. Saki is a hardcore theater kid. She works for a theater troupe and is their rising star!

Asuka has Euterpe, the muse of music. She’s the headliner of a metal band. Yeah. Kinda clear there.

Oka has Polyhymnia, the muse of Hymns and sacred poetry. She’s a writer. Yet again, that’s it!!

Hime has Terpsichore, the muse of dancing. Hime's inside outfit (or what she wore for her entire life before getting pulled out of the inside) was a ballerina ensemble. Yet again, super shallow, but I feel like she would like dancing anyway.

Natsuro has Urania, the muse of astronomy! She’s space themed, but like 70’s science fiction space stuff??? You know what I meant!!

Last but not least, Ruuna has Thalia, the muse of comedy. Joking and being like, high energy is her coping mechanism. And uh. Yeah. That’s it!!

You might also be asking “why don’t Ichiro and Ami go save these people themselves” because they literally can’t!!

One, they are disallowed by Lain and Ayaka to do anything outside of looking around, and killing any random shadows walking around the hallways. They also just can’t enter the wards. The saviors are the “keys” to the wards because of fate and stuff. If the two followed behind them they could, that’s actually how they found out how they are researching the rem cycle.

Anything past any of this I don’t know. Lol.

#stellas ocs #persona #the dream saviors/yumeyumi #persona 5 #persona 4 #persona 3 #persona 2 #revelations persona

[skullshoal]

Very long post about reading don’t burn me on a stake please also

i read gideon the ninth (and harrow the ninth) last year bc people i follow were drawing stuff about it that got me interested and they were such good books and i remembered how much i love reading and how i hadn’t read in like. 5 years lol. So i’ve been trying to read more. I’ve really struggled with finding new books though. I used to just walk into a library and find something on the shelf and enjoy it but that feels impossible in the adult fiction section. Like half the adult fiction is boring. And my local library is organized...like a nightmare. idk there are just like all different types of fiction mixed together and it feels impossible to like wander into a subsection of a genre bc next to one book that seems ok is 4 about being like prairie farmers or some shit you know. I tried to use like online suggestions for books similar to gideon in genre but 99% of them the library doesn’t have and after checking out like 2-3 books that seemed really interesting but then i just couldn’t get into and stay interested in i just kinda gave up.

so anyway. I decided recently bc i really like reading to reread my fav children’s series since i own all of them, fablehaven. I read the first one and still really enjoyed it! It’s not...free of problems. I have been trying very hard to be a lot more conscious with how I read. When I was a kid i didn’t even know racial stereotypes put on fantasy races was like. a thing. I was very sheltered from fantasy writing and movies (raised catholic) and while i’m only half white my white mom raised me mostly in a white school in white southern american culture so like. I just. Didn’t even know. I didn’t know gay people existed until middle school. I didn’t know trans people existed until highschool. But anyway my point is like. racially charged and transphobic and homophobic depictions completely went over my head this is not excusing them obviously i have learned but like. idk. anyway.

So i’ve been trying to pay attention to how the creatures and people are described and decide for myself if it’s bad and I think the hardest part is trying to decide if a normal racial description is like. Weird? Charged? The books are written by a white person and centered on two white kids and their family. Their are supporting poc characters. I don’t think they are handled incredibly well to be honest. The first book has their grandparents house keeper Lena who is Asian and mostly its fine besides the occasional hmmmm that’s really weird! Example she just like offhandedly says her dead husband was of the “Asian persuasion” ie fetishizing Asians. I’m probably a third of the way into the second book and their is a Samoan character. I think I struggle with knowing what crosses a line and what doesn’t. The character is a potion maker and is generally treated with respect i think??? The descriptions of goblins are probably racist. They aren’t “greedy” but they do have close to the stereotypical goblin physical description. Most of the other fantasy creatures when they are “evil” or something are described as bad for not racially ambiguous reasons like inhuman limbs and sores and smells. I feel like even though I’m reading a children’s book i am literally terrible at reading subtext. It’s hard to come to terms with that. I have dyslexia and autism but i was always told i was good at reading until i became an adult and realized I am actually just kind of OK at reading. I am good at literary analysis according to school but I don’t feel like I am. Idk where this is going mostly I just wanted to get my thoughts down because they have been mulling over in my mind while i read these books. i Am still enjoying the books. I bought and read them a long time ago and have basically forgotten most of the plot. I like fantasy and i LOVE fantasy that says magic exists hidden in our world like fablehaven and percy jackson. anyway. If you read this thanks i love you. please don’t be mean to me this blog is my personal diary

#broken pencil

[princelyhelp]

bestie you have such good taste in webcomics give us some recs

OH MY GOD FINALLY!!! SOMETHING IM GOOD AT!!! okay so, a lot of stuff i read are queer webcomics ( specifically with gay men bc majority of the webcomics that are online and actually GOOD,,,, are about gay men ). anyways, here's a list of my favorite webcomics and where to read them.

omgcheckplease by ngozi: a webcomic written by a black woman aka my literal role model. omgcp is about a gay man named eric bittle who gets a hockey scholarship at samwell university. we watch eric learn about being a fratbro, coming in terms with his identity, fall in love, and become confident in playing hockey. it’s really cute and completed!! homophobia isn’t a huge part of the plot ( thank god ), like it’s there but the webcomic isn’t about the homophobic world. it’s just about bitty and his baking vlogs <3

tripping over you by suzana harcum: LITERALLY MY GO TO WEBCOMIC WHENEVER I’M SAD!!! CURRENTLY ON MY FOURTH REREAD. about liam and milo who are basically high school sweethearts and their lives from their last year of high school to their first year of college. deals with depression, disconnect between children and parents, divorced parents who still argue, arguments that happen in a relationship, and just finding yourself after turning 18/19. my favorite part of this webcomic is def the wedding scene bc i love love ( despite being aromantic ). 

heartstopper by alice oseman: YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I WAS GONNA ADD THIS!!! everyone knows of this webcomic bc it’s so popular out of the three. literally makes me so happy and i relate to the characters a lot ( especially when it comes to my mental health and how that affects me on a daily ). gonna cry when the netflix series drop 

autophobia by g.h.s.t: sobbing, i love this. i think i have a thing for webcomics that deal with depression,,,,, probably bc i can relate to all of them AOGPIOAJGAOIGA also a gay love story but with high schoolers learning more about themselves, friendships coming to an end, learning to love and trust yourself again. it’s cute but also so sad. also if you talk shit about the artwork,,, i’ll throw a brick at you 

magical boy by the kao: OMG!!!! LITERALY!!! AMAZING!!! LOVE MY MANS KAO!!!! it’s a webcomic about a transman who comes from a long line of magical girls who protect the world from monsters. you can read it on tapas but you would have to pay ( VALID DO IT!!! IT’S SO GOOD!!! ). please be aware because the webcomic deals with the main character’s identity and his transphobic town and mother ( the dad is amazing, supports his beautiful son ). it’s still a huge rec

demon house by joanne kwan: this webcomic ended and im still not over it. literally a girl moves into this house with demons and it’s just her friendship with them. it’s also the first webcomic to truly draw angels how they REALLY look, which made me so happy. cried when it had to end. still crying over it OAIGJAIOGJAIG

the flying ship by jem milton: BEAUTIFUL, 10/10, I LOVE FOUND FAMILY PLOTS!!! it’s that diverse fantasy webcomic that we all need and deserve. the main character has a disability, another character is genderfluid, IT’S GAY!!!!! please read it, i need more people to read it. also the main character is written beautifully and doesn’t let their disability stop them from kicking ass ( bc people seem to think that disabled people cannot do the same shit as able bodied people )

lady knight by lion illustration: on webtoon and it’s truly amazing! about a bunch of 15 y/o who are training to become knights to beat up the darkness or whatever. but there’s a twist bc the main is a woman and usually, the knights are men but she was chosen. love her and her two best friends, ot3!!! 

hooky by miriam bonastre tur: I REMEMBER READING THIS WHEN THE VERY FIRST CHAPTER GOT DROPPED!!! about twin witches who missed the bus to their witch boarding school so they go to some random guy’s house to learn magic from him. starts off cute and silly before becoming dark and twisted. i sobbed when this ended, i’m still crying. 

other recs that i won’t go into details about: hooves of death, miss abbott and the doctor, lil char and the gang, midnight poppy land, LMLY, heir’s game, tower of god, boyfriends, space boy, siren’s lament, where tangets meet, always human, your letter, the girl from class, elena, for the sake of sita, matchmaker hero, kids are all right ( you will cry ), annarasumanara, and the stories of those around me

#the prince speaks #webcomic #omgcp #omgcheckplease #tripping over you #hooky #lady knight #the flying ship #magical boy #heartstopper #autophobia #pls come to me about webcomics whenever you want!!! #ive read over 1000 from 2015 'till now #it's def more but whatever #i also read a lot of mangas and have a lot of recs for that too!!!

[thornedrose44]

Supercorp prompt-

Lena takes an art class to de-stress and Kara is the nude model. Awkward semi- naked flirting ensues.

(A/N: So, I put my own twist on this (hope that’s okay), I made Lena a teacher just because I liked the idea of Lena having to keep her lack of chill under control and be professional in front of a class funny - though this fic went down just a really light, fluffy route which I hadn’t expected when I started it.)

Read on AO3

It had been going well, the first term had passed with only a few missteps and one trip to the emergency room - though, the Dean had told her that Zach had yet to make it through a single class without some sort of accident and had been preemptively banned from taking Chemistry classes for fear of taking out an entire graduation class. 

Lena had never expected to return to her alma mater as a lecturer but the stars had aligned at just the right time. The youngest Luthor had reached a stage in her career where she had finally proven her adoptive mother wrong about not finding success as an artist and had made enough money that she need never paint another picture in her life again. The lack of necessity and the return to a more Luthor-esque lifestyle - galas, fancy balls and paid talks - had subsequently impacted her inspiration. She needed a change. A return to her roots and some sort of stability without losing her ability to make a personal impact with her work. 

Her mentor - J’onn - was stepping down from the art department and had recommended her as his replacement; National City University had jumped at the chance of the world renowned Lena Luthor taking up a teaching position there. 

She was now a third of the way through the school year, settled comfortably into her new role, and absolutely loving it. Her spark was back, and she was enjoying being in one place surrounded by her old friends. She was reconnecting with skills and techniques she hadn’t touched in years whilst simultaneously giving advice and encouragement to students that reminded her of herself when Lillian had cut her off to force her into attending business school and abandoning her dreams. She was finally able to return the kindness J’onn had given her all those years ago to the next generation of artists. 

It was the second term that Lena experienced her first set of real nerves. 

Lena had an artistic weak spot, an achilles heel that she had been able to keep out of her signature artistic style but she would now be forced to confront. 

Life drawing.

It had been her lowest scoring class by a mile and she had avoided the advanced elective classes like the plague. Lena knew practice made perfect but she’d never had enough interest to develop her skills. Her interest had always lied more in natural landscape beauty - J’onn had said her true inspiration lied with trying to recreate her childhood memories of Ireland: emerald rolling hills, rocky cliffs, dense forests ensconced by a mystical fog that lended her artwork a fantastical element that she was now known for.

The problem lied in Lena’s lack of interest in people. 

She had never really seen the ‘art’ in them.

Kelly, Sam and Andrea had spent hours over evening drinks psycho-analysing just why that might be, their two favourite theories were Lena’s family (the loss of her mother and the general unpleasantness of the Luthors) or Lena’s truly terrible dating history (their favourite topic of conversation due to the sheer number of embarrassing stories it elicited).

Lena refused to acknowledge the accuracy of both theories. 

It was therefore with a sense of dread that Lena prepared for the first Life Model Drawing class that Tuesday afternoon. The one small silver lining was that she didn’t need to arrange a model - she had vague memories of J’onn trying to entice volunteers and grumbling under his breath about some of the less than pleasant eager volunteers. J’onn had a list of regular volunteers that he had accrued over the years that were reliable and just liked to help out - most of them older with an appreciation for the arts and more time on their hands than they knew what to do with. The University admin team had organised everything and simply told her to expect a Kara Danvers at the studio some time before the class.

Lena had finished prepping the studio well in advance, reviewed the relevant techniques for most of the morning and even phoned J’onn for a much needed pep talk over lunch. She had just convinced herself that everything might be okay, that she just might be able to do this, when the most beautiful woman Lena had ever laid eyes on burst into the studio.

A toned body that glinted with a light sheen of sweat barely covered by a white v-neck tucked in at the front of a pair of dark jeans that merely brought all of Lena’s attention to the bronze belt buckle that locked away a thousand dirty thoughts. Glorious golden ringlet curls bounced up and down as the woman stumbled to a sudden stop as the most piercing blue eyes imaginable behind thick glasses locked with Lena’s green ones.

“Hi, I’m Kara!” The goddess announced, swallowing thickly and stumbling forward in her hefty black boots as she extended out a hand for Lena to take.

Lena only reached out due to years of Luthor training that had ingrained politeness into her muscle memory - her brain still not firing on all cylinders at the sight of the woman in front of her. Kara’s warm palm connected with Lena’s, long fingers curling gently yet firmly around the edge of her hand and sending arcs of lightning through Lena’s body and causing her breath to stutter. 

“I hope you haven’t been waiting for me for too long.” Kara continued, a bright apologetic smile lighting up her entire face and grinding whatever gears were still turning Lena’s mind to a dead - permanent - halt. “I try to always get here early to help set-up but the interview I was conducting overran - I’m a journalist, by the way - and then my bike - motorbike that is -” Lena’s mind caught on the motorbike and turned it round over and over and over again, “didn’t start and… I’m rambling. Oh, golly! I mean heck, I mean sorry.” Kara huffed, cheeks filling with air before releasing into an adorable pout. “Sorry.”

It was then that Lena realised two things.

One, it was her turn to say something and there had now been at least ten  prolonged seconds of silence as they stared into each other’s eyes.

And two, they were still holding hands because that’s what it was now, it most definitely could not be considered a handshake.

“Umm… hi…” Lena choked out whilst simultaneously jerking her hand back to her side, hoping the somewhat stifling heat of the studio would hide the red blush perfusing her cheeks.  “Lena. I’m Lena, that is…”

“Hi.” Kara murmured, smiling soft and sweet at her causing Lena’s heart to flip and melt and dance and do a million impossible things all at once.

“Hi.” Lena repeated dumbly - so dumbly.

“I should…” Kara chuckled, hands miming grabbing the edge of her t-shirt and lifting it up, “You know?”

Oh, god the goddess is going to undress, Lena’s brain screamed in gay at herself.

“Yeah, definitely do that.” Lena encouraged with a flap of her hand towards the centre of the studio where a solitary illuminated stool awaited. “Do you need anything? Is the lighting okay? Stool… umm… sturdy?”

Kara grinned at her, blue eyes barely sparing a glance at the studio’s set-up, “Looks perfect.”

“Great.” Lena cheered, jerking her thumb over at her desk in the corner where she had prepped her teaching materials, “I’ll… uh… be over there.”

“And I’ll be right here.” Kara shot back with a cheeky wink as she walked over to the stool, a towel awaiting her to provide suitable covering until the class had settled, shucking her white shirt over her head and revealing back muscles that would star in Lena’s fantasies for the foreseeable future.

“Yep.” Lena popped, taking a deep breath and trying to work out if she should be murmuring a thank you to God or screaming a desperate why me.

***

The class had gone well - except for the long periods where her brain shutdown whenever she studied the play of shadows across Kara’s defined musculature. She managed to cover it quite well by making it seem like she was just assessing her students’ work closely, analysing their line work and shading rather than going through an extended gay crisis that eclipsed seeing boobs for the first time in college.

Kara, on the other hand, was a consummate professional, holding a steady pose throughout and utterly unfazed by the concentrated gazes on her - though, Lena could have sworn that she caught deep blue eyes tracking her movements round the half-circle every now and again. 

“So, you’re experienced doing this?” Lena asked, once the last student had departed and Kara was finishing re-tying her sturdy boots back up.

“Taking my clothes off?” Kara chuckled, shooting the teacher an amused smirk, getting to her feet and strolling easily over to where Lena was examining the product of her class’ efforts. 

Lena faltered, “I meant-”

“I’m just teasing.” Kara reassured, reaching out to squeeze Lena’s forearm in a half-apology that Lena could have sworn burnt Kara’s hand print into her skin, “I’ve done this for a while now. I did an interview with J’onn a few years ago and his model bailed at the last minute and I was here already and…” Kara shrugged casually like stepping in was the obvious thing to do, like kindness was the only option - which Lena didn’t doubt for a second was something Kara genuinely believed. “I like helping out where I can. And I just kept coming back…” Kara explained, clasping her hands behind her back as she took a tentative step closer to Lena, “I was never really sure why until-”

“Hey, babe, you ready to go?” 

Lena’s head snapped round to see Andrea strolling through the doorway, eyes fixed on her phone utterly oblivious to the moment she had just trampled all over. Lena wasn’t sure whether Andrea was naturally such a good cockblock or if she practiced at it - regardless of either option Lena’s sexlife had vanished into thin air since she’d returned to living in the same city as Andrea. (Not that Lena thought that her and Kara were heading that way but Lena had been enjoying the hope of it at least).

“Andrea, you’re early for the first time in.... well, ever…” Lena snarked, rolling her eyes before glancing over to Kara, only to find the blonde had taken a large step away from her and her expression was far more neutral and guarded than it had been only moments before.

“Wait, we weren’t meeting at 4?” Andrea frowned, still not bothering to look up.

“Ah, so you’re not early, you’re over an hour late.” Lena remarked.

“God, you’re such a drama queen…” Andrea sighed, finally lifting her gaze from her phone, her eyes immediately alighting on Kara with undisguised interest. “And who is this?”

“Andrea, this is Kara the model for our life drawing classes.” Lena introduced taking a protective step in front of the blonde, an action that did not go unnoticed by the other two occupants in the room. “Kara, this is my supposed best friend who is regularly trying to lose that title.”

“Oh, best friend?” Kara repeated; the familiar brightness from before returning to her expression as she looked excitedly between the two friends.

“Yes.” Lena answered, smiling shyly at Kara and immediately forgetting Andrea’s existence, let alone presence in the room.

“That’s great.” Kara grinned, blushing a light pink a second later as her hands fidgeted with her keys, “I mean… ummm…. That you have a best friend. My sister is my best friend, though I have other friends. I just mean that… friends are cool.” 

Lena laughed lightly at Kara’s ramble, leaning closer towards the blonde without realising until Andrea appeared at her shoulder looking far too pleased with herself.

“Kara,” Andrea greeted, holding out a hand for the blonde to shake (Lena was comforted to see their handshake was quick, almost professional in comparison to the lingering touch Kara and Lena had shared earlier). “The pleasure is all mine.” Andrea declared, winking surreptitiously at the teacher - Lena instantly dreaded the upcoming girl’s night.

“Nice to meet you.” Kara replied friendly and sincere, before smiling softly at Lena and muttering a hopeful, “I’ll see you next week?” 

“I’ll be here.” Lena reassured, watching as Kara nodded farewell to Andrea and departed, waving on her way out.

“Well…” Andrea murmured mischievously.

“Don’t.” Lena said sharply, holding up a finger to deter whatever torment Andrea had brewing. “Not a word. Not a single word.”

“Ooookay.” Andrea lied.

***

“You okay?” Lena asked tentatively, watching as Kara sluggishly slung her bag over her shoulder the pep to her step nowhere near as present as it had been last week. 

They hadn’t had a chance to talk before the class even though Kara arrived much earlier to help set-up - Lena had been helping a student struggling with deadlines and a sudden crisis of confidence which prevented them from interacting. Despite being occupied, Lena had seen the fatigue weighing heavily on the reporter, saw how her impeccable posture dropped and how her students added weary lines to her expression in their artwork. 

“I think you fell asleep on that stool for ten minutes at some point.” Lena murmured, brow creasing in concern.

“Pfft… what?” Kara reassured with a light-hearted wave of her hand. “Impossible.”

Lena arched an unimpressed eyebrow, “You snore. Quite loudly.”

“Oh…” Kara pouted guiltily, rubbing at the back of her neck, “My sister is going through a rough patch and I stayed up late with her last night.”

Lena’s amusement drained away to be replaced with soft, supportive care, “Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’s doing better.” Kara replied, blue eyes twinkling at Lena’s inquiry that had them both ducking their heads coyly and sharing furtive glances. “I should get going.” Kara coughed out, though she made no move to leave.

“Or…” Lena began hesitantly, heart fluttering in her chest, “we could go for coffee? You should probably have a coffee before driving,” Lena rationalised, nervously stepping back from the blatant romantic line she was toeing, “you know for safety…”

“For safety.” Kara repeated carefully, blue eyes glowing with warmth, “That sounds wonderful.”

***

It didn’t take them long at all to settle into a comfortable routine.

Kara came early to the life model classes, helping set-up the room as they talked about the students' progress and what Lena was going to make the focus of the class. During the class itself, Lena no longer needed to flit as regularly between her students, they had learned the basic techniques enough to practise for themselves, now only requiring light guidance which allowed Lena time to either do some marking or her own art. Kara posed perfectly throughout, though Lena was becoming more and more aware of Kara’s still gaze on her as the weeks passed by. 

After class, it was now custom for them to grab a coffee and go for a long walk around the university campus as they talked about everything and nothing. They would have been building towards a strong friendship if it wasn’t for the lingering touches, blatant flirts, blushes and wandering gazes. 

Lena wasn’t overly sure why they hadn’t crossed that line, made that final move, but she found she didn’t particularly mind the wait. She was convinced that they had both decided that the journey was making the destination all the more desirable.

It became abundantly apparent, though, that Kara thought differently if their conversation after the class midway through the term was anything to go by.

“So do you not like my body?” Kara asked, quick and fearful, eyes looking down at the sketch Lena had done during class of a vase of flowers in the corner rather than of the readily available model.

“What?” Lena muttered in disbelief looking up sharply from her desk to see Kara paling considerably having clearly not intended to ask the question that she had blurted out.

“I… uh…” Kara squeaked, mouth opening and closing rapidly, before lifting her bare wrist up with a jerky motion and whistling in exaggerated surprise, “Wow, look at the time. I’m late for… uh… this thing. Work thing. Interview! That’s a work thing.”

And just like that she was gone - Lena wouldn’t have been surprised if there was a Kara shaped hole in the studio wall with how fast she disappeared - leaving Lena with a sinking, twisty feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her she might have lost more than her regular coffee with Kara over that one interaction.

***

Lena had Kara’s phone number and they had taken to texting throughout the day; however, since Kara’s panicked question - which probably revealed some deep vulnerability in the blonde - there had been complete and total radio silence. No memes, no cute animal pics, no sweet check ins… Lena’s phone remained silent when it once vibrated with life. 

Lena wanted to text or call Kara the second she had left the studio but Lena didn’t feel like this was a conversation they could have over text, so she waited impatiently for them to be face to face again, counting down the days until the next class. 

Lena even took to repeatedly checking in with the admin office to confirm that Kara hadn’t pulled out of modelling; reaching the stage where Jess, the most senior admin in the team, had taken to emailing her every couple of hours to reassure her that Kara still hadn’t cancelled. 

When Kara appeared, nervously stepping into the art room, fingers playing with the hem of her shirt, it was like Lena could finally breathe easy again. The fear and loss eeking away in an instant, giving Lena the necessary courage to stride forward and bare herself in a way that Kara had been doing every week without Lena fully realising.  

“I don’t like drawing people.” Lena announced, shoving her hands into her pockets to resist the temptation to reach out to the other woman as the blonde blinked at her in surprise, listening intently. “It’s kind of a thing with me.” Lena winced, pushing down all the reasons for why that is. “When I draw something I… kind of let whatever it is into me, let it consume me and it… stays with me for a long time after that. It’s why I draw what I draw. I draw my home because it's a part of me already. Drawing someone means carrying them with me and… that’s scary for me.” Lena breathed, glancing at the blonde to see soft understanding in blue eyes. “I just wanted you to know it’s not you.”

Kara nodded, shuffling closer and dipping her head so that she could whisper into the still space between them, “Thank you.” 

“Right,” Lena murmured, swallowing thickly before jerking a thumb over her shoulder, “I should-”

“Do you want to get dinner?” Kara inquired earnestly causing Lena to freeze in hopeful surprise. “After class, that is?”

“Um… Yes.” Lena replied, nodding her head eagerly.

“Awesome.” Kara grinned brightly.

***

Kara took her to a tucked away italian restaurant that was one of National City’s hidden gems. The food was outstanding and the company was even better.

It wasn’t a date, but it wasn’t just friends going out for dinner either. 

Lena would call it a test-run but that would imply that Lena wasn't already one hundred percent certain that she wanted an actual date with Kara. It was more of a date-appetiser if Lena was going to call it anything, a taste to build interest before the real thing. 

Once they had finished their food, Kara didn’t hesitate to interlace their fingers as they went for an evening stroll around a nearby park, both wishing to prolong their time together.

“Can I see your art?” Kara requested; they had been sitting on a bench in front of a lit-up fountain for the last twenty minutes or so in comfortable silence. Lena had expressed an interest in sketching the fountain and Kara hadn’t hesitated to find them a seat and encourage Lena’s desire without complaint, occupying herself with people-watching in the meantime. 

“I’m pretty sure the images are all over the internet.” Lena replied drolly.

“Yeah, I know it’s just…” Lena’s pencil froze in it’s movements finally noticing how hard Kara was trying to act casual, “what you said about it being a part of you, I thought-”

“You want me to show it to you…” Lena inferred, setting her pencil down and closing her handy sketchbook in an instant. 

“It’s stupid, I’ll-” Kara laughed awkwardly, shaking her head in an attempt to brush over the request like it wasn’t a big deal

“I don’t have many pieces here in National City,” Lena said thoughtfully, getting to her feet and holding out a hand for Kara, “but I have some works in progress that I can show you… if you want that is?”  

“I would love that.” Kara beamed, jumping to her feet as Lena tugged her back towards her campus studio, already picking out her favourite pieces in her mind that she wanted to share with the blonde.

***

Lena and Kara’s ‘friendship’ continued to blossom into something neither could have anticipated that day Kara sprinted into the studio all those weeks ago. The weekly class they shared was now always followed by dinner, taking it in turns to share their favourite cuisines and restaurants. They had also grown beyond only seeing each other on their allotted class day, sharing lunches and movie nights and spontaneous coffees as they learned each other's schedule and needs. 

Lena read all of Kara’s articles and spent many an evening asking countless questions about the background to each of them. Likewise, Kara would appear for coffee with one of Lena’s artworks saved in her phone, burning with curiosity about what had inspired it.

Time spent with Kara flew by and, before Lena knew it, it was the final class prior to spring break. Her last class with Kara until the next school year and Lena was finally ready.

She had finally figured it out.

Why she had waited.

Why she had yet to seize the numerous opportunities to transition her relationship with Kara into a romantic one.

It was because she knew. 

She knew from the second that she had taken Kara’s hand in hers when they first met that this was it. That Kara was it.

And that was, and still is, terrifying. 

When they had first met, Lena hadn’t been ready for Kara. Hadn’t been ready for everything that Kara represented and would come to mean. She had needed the time, the time to lower her guard, to trust and hope. 

And now, she was ready and she knew exactly how to let Kara know.

The class came to an end with Lena giving her students a quick speech on how proud of their progress she was and wishing them a good spring break. Kara lingered behind as was now custom, helping Lena tidy up the area before they headed out together.  

“Kara?” Lena called out nervously, sweaty palms rubbing against her black denim covered thighs as her heart beat thunderously in her chest. “I was wondering…” Lena began, clearing her throat as Kara stopped what she was doing to give Lena her undivided attention. “Can I… can I draw you?”

Kara’s brow instantly furrowed in confusion, “I thought-”

“Yeah…” Lena laughed shyly, staring into deep blue eyes, practically begging for Kara to understand what she was really saying. “Can I?” Lena repeated.

Kara pursed her lips thoughtfully as she studied Lena’s expression - it was then Lena realised that Kara understood exactly why they had been waiting. Kara wasn’t replying because she wanted to check that Lena was sure, was giving Lena a chance to delay, was saying - without really saying it - that she could wait longer.

Lena didn’t take the escape Kara offered, instead she lifted her head higher and arched an eyebrow at the blonde.

A thousand-watt smile of excitement took up residence on Kara’s face as she nodded eagerly, “Of course.” 

“Clothes on.” Lena clarified - she had promised herself that the first time she truly studied Kara’s body it would be in a setting where touching would not break any professional standards. 

***

Lena had Kara sit opposite her in her private studio, their knees pressed tightly against one another providing a warm point of contact to keep them grounded. Lena’s gaze flickered from her sketchpad to Kara’s features; occasionally, she would reach out to adjust a lock of golden hair so it caught the light. Kara, meanwhile, had an ever constant soft smile that didn’t diminish for the entirety of the session even as she was forced to rein in her boundless curiosity to stop herself from sneaking a peek at Lena’s sketch until it was ready to be revealed.

Lena only drew Kara’s head because, though, she had spent countless hours in the presence of Kara’s naked body over the course of the last few weeks - when Lena thought of Kara (really thought about her in the way that made her heart skip), it wasn’t her abs or her biceps that Lena pictured (though she did think about them regularly when she was in her bed alone at night). 

It was Kara’s eyes that Lena thought about most. 

How they were so bright and hopeful whilst simultaneously melancholic and lost.

There were whole galaxies in those blue eyes and Lena knew that she could spend the rest of her life drawing them and never get bored, nor get them exactly right.

“What do you think?” Lena asked, slowly turning her sketchbook round for Kara to see.

It wasn’t finished. It was mere line work that would require further detailing but it was a good start and she hoped Kara could see its potential like she did with everything else in the world - like she did with Lena.

“It’s…” Kara began, licking her lips as she pulled the sketchbook closer to her chest like it was something treasured and infinitely rare. “It's incredible.” Kara breathed, the sincerity of her words undeniable due to how they were accompanied by a watery film to her blue eyes.

“I like your body.” Lena whispered, shattering the companionable silence they had drifted into as Kara admired Lena’s artistry.

“W-w-what?” Kara stammered, head jerking up at the out-of-the-blue declaration.

Lena reached out for the sketchbook, lifting it out of Kara’s hand and placing it on the nearby table so that she could take Kara’s hands in hers. 

“You asked if I liked your body a while ago,” Lena reminded the blonde, “and I just thought you should know that I do. I really, really do. I mean really.” Lena emphasised, glancing appreciatively down at Kara’s body prompting the blonde to blush a pleased pink. “But it's more than just that. It’s become more than that. Talking after class, getting coffee, going for dinner… it's the best part of my week. You’re the best part of my week.”

“Lena-” Kara began, her mouth suddenly snapping shut as her jaw clenched and her chin lifted in determination. Blue eyes studied Lena for a long moment and all Lena could do was hold her breath and wait. 

Lena made Kara wait weeks, she could therefore wait the stretched seconds that Kara needed in return without complaint

Kara got confidently to her feet, tugging Lena up with her, squeezing their hands once before releasing her so that she could reach up to tenderly cup Lena’s face. “I’m going to kiss you now.” Kara declared, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Thank fu-” Lena sighed gratefully, cut off from offering up her thanks by Kara’s perfect lips sliding over hers.

#supercorp #supercorp fic #supercorp prompt

[theprologues]

SUBMISSION - Grammys performance symbolism, part two

So, with those reservations safely out of the way, and a warning to readers NOT to hurt themselves by getting their hopes up again … 

What aspects of Taylor’s Grammy’s performance made me think there might be light at the end of the tunnel for Kaylor? 

First, Taylor’s blue and gold performance dress. “Deep blue but you painted me golden” is a line from Dancing With Our Hands Tied, a song that is widely assumed to be about the night of Kissgate. It’s a song where Taylor talks about how miserable (“deep blue”) she was after the collapse of her relationship with Diana and her public reputation in 2013. She describes how her new lover, Karlie, brought her back to life and lit her up with the glow of a new, true love. She painted her golden. But then they were caught in an intimate moment at Kissgate, and Taylor panicked. Her fears and anxieties threatened to drown her, and though she and her new lover tried to dance through the catastrophe, they eventually came to realize they were doing so with their hands tied. They had no hope of swimming to the surface together and breaking free. They could only have done so if Taylor had stood firm and owned their love in the moment, instead of setting in motion the bearding contracts that would change everything. (This is what she means when she says that “if I could dance with you again”, she would “kiss” and “hold” her lover, instead of presumably backing away. If she could do the moment over, she would claim Karlie as her lover, and hold her hand for the world to see, through hell or high water.) 

Though it’s a depressing motif in DWOHT, Taylor has, interestingly, returned to this imagery of a golden tie several times in other songs, painting it in a much more positive light. Most recently, the Willow music video explores this, visually representing the “single thread of gold that tied me to you” which Taylor sings about in Invisible String. Both IS and Willow are happy songs, which describe their lovers as being tied together by fate. “Wherever you go, I’ll follow,” Taylor sings in Willow. In DWOHT, the lovers followed each other to a place of deepest blue. The bottom of the ocean, under the waves, where they couldn’t breathe. In Willow they follow each other to freedom.

That freedom is represented in the Willow music video by the open cabin door the lovers step through at the end of the video. Taylor incorporates this door into the Willow section of her Grammy’s performance, performing first in the open doorway and then stepping through it to perform with her band out in the open. 

But returning to the blue and gold dress. This is not only a very Karlie motif which keeps recurring in her art (often to postitve effect). It’s also a representation of Taylor finding happiness WITHIN the closet. It’s talking about how her partner’s love helps her to bear the depression being in the closet, and fearing exposure, causes her. The fact that Taylor chooses to wear this dress throughout her performance, with no costume changes, suggests a) she is still in the closet, and b) she is still with Karlie, and still considers her love to be such a lifeline. 

If Toe was real and Taylor was happy with him, she could have chosen to wear an all-gold dress for the occasion. If Kaylor was over and she had decided to return to the closet, she could have communicated that by wearing all blue. If Kaylor was over and so far in the past she had moved on with someone new, there was no need to evoke the motif at all. She could simply have laid claim to another color, or worn another prairie type dress to fit the aesthetic. And yet, she didn’t. Why not, if not to communicate what I said above? 

What else is worth considering, in Taylor’s medley? Well, there’s the cabin setting. Taylor and Karlie famously took a trip to Big Sur forest and stayed in a cabin together in 2014, where Karlie was the first person to hear 1989 in full. They took many photos on the trip, including one captioned with “on the way home” (a lyric from You Are In Love, which talks about hearing love in the silence) and one of the two of them looking up at a fallen tree. A VERY similar looking tree appears in the Cardigan music video, and the slanted, moss-covered roof Taylor opens the medley lying on also looks a lot like this tree. Again, curious that she would call back to this if she and Karlie have separated.

Moving on. Taylor opens the medley singing on the roof, looking straight up into the camera. When we pull back we see the stage around set to that of a starry night. Taylor is thus cast as the romantic, the star-gazer. She also calls back to another lyric Kaylors have previously tied to Karlie - “up on the roof with a schoolgirl crush”. It’s been repeatedly tied to Karlie and Taylor’s attendance at the Victoria Secret show after-party. Again, why evoke imagery so tied to the early, happy days of this relationship? 

We then move through a progression of events that sees her hiding inside with friends, before eventually stepping out into the light. That all reads like a visual interpretation of her relationship with Karlie, from her early loneliness and lovestruck dreaming, to the happiness she finds within her little hideaway, to her eventual decision to step out of it and claim her lover. The medley ends on a repetition of “that’s my man”, seemingly hinting that Taylor’s freedom is tied up in her ability to finally say those words. 

What else? Well, there are the Ivy allusions. Taylor’s cabin covered in greenery can’t help but evoke the lyrics of Ivy - “my house of stone, your ivy grows, and now I’m covered in you”. Ivy is widely interpreted as a sapphic song about two women finding love despite their commitments to men. Another line in the song “he’s in the room, your opal eyes are all I wish to see, he wants what’s only yours” is alluded to in Taylor’s choice of opal jewelry on the night. What a weird thing to draw attention to, if you’re not secretly in love with a woman while parading a beard around in public. We’re also told in the song that “he” (possibly the same man, possibly another) wants to burn the house of the Ivy lovers down. Jerk just so happened to announce the baby’s birth on this night, in what felt like an attempt to undermine Taylor’s joy. Hmm. Curious. 

You know what else is curious? Taylor’s choice of outfit for the Grammys red carpet. Not only is the floral dress very reminiscent of a floral ensemble Karlie wore to cover a June (pride month) issue of Spanish Vogue. (Cover subtitled, “flowers of change”.) It’s also by the designer Oscar de la Renta. Taylor and Karlie famously attended one of his shows together early on in their relationship. They sat in the front row looking very cozy, while Taylor refused to answer questions about why she was there and reportedly giggled “my publicist will be mad at me”. Hmm.

Taylor has also worn Oscar de la Renta on numerous occasions while out with Karlie, including most famously at the Met Gala. That iconic pale pink gown that she was buried in the Look What You Made Me Do music video? That was an Oscar de la Renta. There are many interpretations of the scene in the video, but it’s worth noting that Taylor is buried alive in it (which could be interpreted as a metaphor for being closeted) and that in a video all about her various revenge fantasies, she depicts herself crawling back up out of this grave. She views coming back to life and walking away from the flaming wreckage of her past with Big Machine as the ultimate revenge. At the end of the video she clips her own wings while all the past iterations of her argue amongst themselves. This would seem to suggest that she can defeat her enemies but she can’t defeat herself, because she can’t outrun her past, and until then she will always be doomed to self-sabotage. Nevertheless, this Taylor (lurking in the background bedecked in peaced-out palm tree print) is in a much better position than the Taylor who opened the video as a zombie corpse. She’s on the surface and has some hope of freedome, at last. This is a theme we see carried through in the following video, where Taylor goes one-on-one against herself and eventually breaks free.

Long story short? Taylor wearing such a floral, literally blooming dress from THIS designer, of all people, suggests she may finally be about to rise again. The aborted coming out apparently planned for the Lover era (and thus seeded during the Rep era) may finally be a go? 

Again, I’m very reluctant to get people’s hopes up here. But it’s hard to look at this dress and not think of that June (Pride month) floral magazine cover. Or of the Spade riddle, “Why worry? She blooms in June.” Or of the fact that Taylor’s stunts are often loudest before the end. She acknowledged Calvin and hugged him at an awards show before he was booted out of the narrative and Tom H appeared to replace him. (Something like ten days or so after the “split”, if I remember right?) And the inconsistencies of the Toe timeline speak for themselves. There was speculation - unpopular though it was - among Kaylors in the Rep era that guessed Taylor wouldn’t come out until 2021 / 2022. It seemed a world away at the time but who knows? Maybe this was always the plan. Maybe this is all “part of the fucking story”, even the parts that seem ugly or counterproductive. A lot can change in a couple of months in Hollywood, and with Taylor in particular. By June, it’s possible we COULD be looking at a vastly different landscape. Maybe this was one last hurrah for the Toes. Many of them are just harmless fans taking Taylor at her word, after all. 

Only time will tell, and I don’t blame Kaylors for checking out. This isn’t healthy, especially for those of us who are gay ourselves, and can’t help but feel a personal connection to Taylor’s journey out of the closet. We know what a big deal it would be. But for those who still want to hope … It’s just possible Taylor has a plan, and this is the dark night before the dawn. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Pro: I added the photos and the bolded parts. Love symbolism. This was truly a spectacular performance. Awesome submission anon!!

#submission #submitted by anonymous

[bryanlyon]

Thoughts on Adastra

Disclaimers:

1. This is going to have spoilers for the entirety of Adastra, as well as marked spoilers for Echo and The Smoke Room. Not sure why you'd read an Adastra analysis if you haven't read Adastra, so this shouldn't be a deal breaker.

2. I'm not gonna do that weird bullshit people do in analysis where they just summarize the entire plot. Again, the audience of this analysis is people who have read Adastra, so a summary doesn't add anything.

"Ad astra" is a Latin phrase meaning "to the stars". Sometimes it was used literally, to mean something going up or even potentially going into space, and sometimes it was used metaphorically to mean something going to greatness. It's either a beautiful coincidence or a genius move by Howly, writer of Adastra, that the most common English phrase with "to the stars" is "I love you to the stars and back", whereas Latin phrases are mostly used in modern day by neo-nazis.

Intentional or not this reflects the main thing Adastra is about: a character who has been taught not to love trying to become better, and a society that is deeply ingrained in fascism trying to become better. Focus is also placed on the way these two things relate to each other: an Amicus who becomes increasingly loving and open is more capable of making a more progressive and free society, and a more progressive and free society enables characters to become more open and loving. 

This is demonstrated well by the differences and similarities between Amicus and Cassius with their pets. Both of them have a pet who is a sibling or sibling level intelligence, but Cassius, constantly needing to perform strength to build towards a fascist state, has a strained, abusive, master/slave relationship with his pet. Amicus has the opposite kind of relationship. In line with his progressive ideals for the world, Amicus tries as best as he can within their system to treat Marco like an equal, and even gives Marco choices and requires his consent to do anything with him (SIDENOTE 1).

In this way Adastra is very comparable to The Wall by Pink Floyd to me. We see the way the political and personal affect each other, and one side is clearly presented as the better option (in both cases, a more progressive and liberal society, and a more caring and open personal life). Where Adastra stands head and shoulders above something like The Wall is in the additional commentary on society it gives while saying this.

Adastra does something I greatly appreciate in art: extremely not subtle metaphors and symbolism. The siblings have a rivalry between each other because each of them wants to impress the parents more than the others. One of the key methods they use to do this is having children, which they see not as people, but as workers and status symbols to impress their parents and outdo the other siblings. Eventually one of the siblings realize that their goal never should have been to impress the parents, but to better themselves. After realizing this they begin to cooperate with the other siblings, treat the children like people, and urge the other siblings to do the same. This is all so on-the-nose that I don't think it needs any explanation.

What might need explanation is the Other. If it weren't for the stylization of always capitalizing Other I'd think it was a coincidence. Because they stylized it like that, I can say with certainty this is a reference to Hegelian philosophy. In Hegelian philosophy the Other is a part of the Other-Self dialectic. The Other is things outside of ourselves and the Self is things within ourselves. The dialectic is the process by which we integrate things outside of ourselves to become better people.

Where I'm almost certain Howly is familiar with the concept from is pop-philosopher Slavoj Zizek. Zizek argued that this concept should be applied on a societal level when it comes to diversity. He says that where conservatives are at fault is that they don't want to integrate the Other at all, and where liberals are at fault is that they remove the Other from its Otherness (that is, they want people who are different to lose the parts of themselves that make them different in the first place).

Adastra's supernatural entity called The Other is treated by societies the same way the Hegellian Other is treated by them. The Khemians have been learning about The Other and how their society can adapt for it for a long time, whereas Adastrans don't even consider The Other until Amicus becomes emperor.

I can't say much more about this theme until we're further into the sequels, as what The Other is and what it does is yet to be seen, but stay tuned for that!

Lastly, I don't think it can or should be ignored that Adastra presents itself as a porn game. The game has several illustrated sex scenes, the main initial draw of the game is Amicus' fat cock, and everyone I know who played the game found it initially because they saw Haps' porn account on Twitter and thought his art was really good. There's nothing wrong with this! It's totally in line with the game's themes that the game itself is totally aware that, to some degree, it's a porn game, but it also tries to be much more than just a porn game.

Adastra can't be removed from its origins in the furry subculture. The furry subculture is an oft ridiculed and looked down upon loose group of people who are largely queer, largely counter-culture, largely ultra-progressive, and who like talking animals. If you know anything about furries, you know that they make a lot of porn of their talking animal characters.

Ordinary people ridicule furry porn often for being very weird (it is), but I think it's also a cool and important part of our culture. A whole subculture of traumatized, queer, arrested development people use the medium of furry porn as a type of escape from that life. This is largely because in furry porn the sexual fantasies of gay mentally ill manchildren are realized in a grand and superb way.

Adastra isn't alone in integrating its sex into its storytelling, and I actually think The Smoke Room and Echo both do it better.

ECHO AND TSR SPOILERS

With Echo we see this in Flynn using hypersexuality as a coping mechanism, Leo's exhibitionism acting as his only escape from his otherwise lonely and closed off life, and the shame that Carl and TJ carry due to their sexualities. The Smoke Room goes even further in using sexuality with its character development. Murdoch has no control over his day to day life, so he sees pleasing other men sexually as a way he can have control over others, the irony of this being that his most frequent sexual partner is one he only has sex with because he's externally coerced into it. William's character arc arguably centers around the fact that he's terrible at sex and refuses to do anything to make his partners happy at the risk that that would make him gay.

END OF ECHO AND TSR SPOILERS

In Adastra, Amicus hilariously declares that "emperors don't put things in their ass", and a major part of his growth as a character is that he gets over himself to such an extent that he eventually offers, reluctantly nonetheless, to bottom for Marco. Using sex as an integral part of the storytelling shows how Howly has integrated the Otherness of furry porn with the Self of writing a damn good somewhat traditional story. Integrating these two usually clashing things isn't weird or a problem for Adastra, it's something that should be celebrated. It should be celebrated that Adastra both made me want to see how Amicus can retake his rightful place as emperor and better the world around him while also making me want to see how much Amicus cums from a prostate orgasm.

It might go without saying since I wrote this much, but I think Adastra is really fucking amazing. It's cheesey as all hell, tacky, and littered with plot holes, but if you're going into a furry porn game looking for plot holes you aren't outsmarting the game, it's outsmarting you. Amicus is a surprisingly deep and likable character, the plot kept me engaged, and for God knows what reason Howly put in the work to make the game smart as hell and deep as fuck.

It could be argued that Amicus was not treating Marco like this because of his ideals but because of his self-perception. After Marco learns Amicus is gay Amicus cowers and asks if Marco is disgusted with him now. Given that the power dynamics of sexuality are so strong on Adastra that they make a 7 foot tall wolf emperor cower to a twink slave, it stands to reason that Amicus might have just not forced himself upon Marco because he was afraid of a slave being able to leverage his sexuality against him. Further, it could be the case that Amicus wanted to treat Marco as an equal because after being humiliated for his sexuality as a teenager he no longer felt as though he could have complete control over other people the way that other wolf royalty do. I think this is all not just plausible, but true. I think these, in addition to Amicus' ideals, contributed to the way he treated Marco.

#adastra #echoproject

[linxuelian]

I found a Chinese BL Warring States Game of Thrones, three years older than The Untamed

And I just had to write a review about it! It’s 60 episodes long so I haven’t finished it yet at the time I’m writing this - but I decided to just go ahead and recommend it anyway.

Why, you ask?

For one, it’s Romance of the Three Kingdoms with all the Hollywood action and adult HBO things. It’s got explosions:

Horses falling down:

People getting flogged:

Sweaty soldiers getting mauled to death:

Children used as hostages:

Dead bodies presented in court:

Stylish dye jobs:

Loving father figures:

A Jon Snow lookalike:

And very gay innuendo:

That’s right, unlike The Untamed, which was first written as a straight series featuring Wen Qing as the main female lead and then rewritten again after fans of the novel decided to boycott it, this series was written to be gay from the very beginning. It got taken down by the Chinese Censorship Board after twelve episodes and river-crabbed to death, but a good number of scenes survived censorship. Those that did not made it to BiliBili in the form of “hidden” videos and disguised as “music videos”.

That’s not all. For a warring period Wuxia series, it’s got very beautiful actors, backdrops and clothing. It’s dressed like a fairy tale, with different kingdoms sporting different colours and styles in fashion and tastes.

In terms of art direction, it’s pretty low-budget for a series but the team makes good use of existing props, locations and brighter-coloured fabric to make up for the quality. The costume design is more fantasy-based than period, and the vivid takes and angles in the first season add to its charm.

There’s also its complex story line, which brings us to...

Men with Swords is not a title for the faint-hearted. There is an acute absence of black-and-white morality depicted in it.

If you think a BL series with such beautiful backdrops and fairytale-like clothes is for the simple-minded, one-track-good-vs-evil sort, think again. The series is a tale about Murong Li, a vengeful prince disguised as a musician and his rise to power, leaving behind a trail of death and destruction in its wake.

Where The Untamed fails at delivering gray morality unlike the novel it’s adapted from, choosing to alter its script to fit a more general audience (a commercially-wise decision which got it into Netflix), Men with Swords succeeds in faithfully telling a tale where there is no good or evil, only humanity, jealousy, grudges, rebellion, loyalty, life, death, greed and love.

Everyone has both good and bad sides, just different camps and motives. Men with Swords tells the story from not just one person’s perspective, but from the perspective of many different people, all of whom become entangled in a battle for their figurative Iron Throne - to become the king of the world.

There are no “what ifs” in this story, only decisions, reactions and repercussions

A prevailing theme in this series is that there are no “what ifs” and no turning back in life, only things that have happened and will happen. Murong Li starts his journey as a prince who has lost everything and a victim of war, wandering around for three years while being put down and getting sexually harassed, eventually losing it, taking his chances and hardening his heart as he walks down his conniving, badass path of destruction towards the top.

Men with Swords is not a series for the faint-hearted. It’s a game of chess where the main character, Murong Li, is cunning and decisive, cold and ruthless and many recurring characters die horrible, sudden deaths, friend and foe alike, a la Attack on Titan.

The series is filled with political strife and warfare, peppered with some sweet, comedic and romantic undertones. There is a stark contrast between fluffy and dark in its narrative, which is pretty refreshing overall.

With that all aside, I know what you’re probably scrolling down for:

The main characters and their boyfriends

This is it. This is what you’re here for. Most “BL” series are actually bromances, but the real upside for a BL fan is that this show is not a bromance - it’s a BL title, and even with censorship, the love stories prevail.

I’m going to put this under a cut because it’s LONG AF, but what that means is that there is a LOT of BL content available, and not the type that you have to hunt for. They’re very open about it.

While the show itself has a lot of ships, there’s a larger focus on three main ones, namely the beautiful Murong Li and two powerful kings, the fairy-like Ling Guang and his servants, and King Jian Bin with his general.

Murong Li: Da Ji 2.0 and his rich and powerful kings

If you’re a Jin Guangyao fan, you’ll probably enjoy Murong Li and his elegant, charming viles and ruthless scheming. He’s a surprisingly good fighter too, and unlike most elegant and waif-like beauties in dramas and novels alike, he’s a beauty with brains who uses his physical weakness as his strength, bending and seducing his way up to power.

Murong Li only really goes after rich and powerful people, worming his way into the kingdom and taking them down from the inside. Two main love interests are King Zhi Ming, the childish but rich king of Tianquan:

And Yu Xiao, a powerful barbarian king with a soft heart:

Murong Li, while wandering around as a musician, picks up many tricks along the way to hone himself. He’s adept at dressing up, making himself look helpless and alluring to bewitch powerful men, for one:

See that small smile right there? Yes, our boy knows what he’s doing.

Aside from that, Murong Li’s also pretty good at manipulating people by using their jealousies and insecurities, getting them to fight with each other over him.

Murong Li, although modeled after the cruel and beautiful Murong Chong, the Emperor of Wei, is likened to Da Ji, the favorite consort of the King Zhou of Shang. Da Ji was said to be a malevolent fox spirit who started the art of foot-binding to hide her fox feet. Everyone else looking in can see it, but the King was blinded, just like Murong Li’s powerful love interests. In fact, the series draws a direct parallel to it:

The Guo Shi here uses the term “yao”, which alludes to a malevolent spirit.

It’s not that Murong Li doesn’t have a weakness, though. Just like every Jin Guangyao has a Lan Xichen around to cause him to slip now and then, Murong Li surprisingly is weak towards the most naive and childish character in the series, the truant King Zhi Ming, whose only qualities are having purple bangs and being rich and playful.

No matter how calculative and ruthless Murong Li is in the series, he does end up almost slipping up and giving everything away when it comes to this bumbling fellow:

He’s saved only at the nick of time by one of his followers. Murong Li tells a lot of lies, but the one thing he can’t lie about are his feelings towards King Zhi Ming, who is ultimately the one thing he can’t give up next to his kingdom.

There’s a lot more one can write about a complex character such as Murong Li, but the second ship is just as good. It features:

Ling Guang: The Ex-Arrogant Depressed Hamster hung up over a dead ex

Ling Guang, the mortal enemy and foil to Murong Li, is a baby-faced, very-much-older-than-he-looks character whose sole purpose in this series is to wear frilly magenta clothing, destroy the kingdom of Yaoguang, set Murong Li down a path of vengeful destruction and piss off eligible, probably younger bachelors by comparing them to his very handsome, very loyal and very dead boyfriend, his personal guard, Qiu Zhen, who died sometime over thirteen years ago.

The bachelors’ pissed off takes to this are particularly priceless:

Here’s another one from season 2:

That HMPH face is to die for.

Ling Guang’s delusions are met head-on by these eligible bachelors, his ministers and his allies alike:

Only to be met by a, “haha, NO.”

Frustrating, right? It only gets worse as the series progresses. Due to Wuxia’s fantastical existence of sword souls, he begins to actively test his subjects out to see if they’re his dead boyfriend, whose sword soul is still alive:

Gu Shi’an: WTF.

So why do these eligible, handsome bachelors, particularly this guy from season two, jump at his lap every chance they get?

First off, he’s very, very pretty. He’s arguably the prettiest and fanciest king in the series, with a cute rounded face, favoring fluffy organza, frills and feathers in his garb, and sporting fabulous curls like that of a swan princess on a good day.

Secondly, and more importantly, it’s likely because he’s the type loyal dogs adore.

He’s stupidly and openly attached to his bodyguards and servants, unable to hide his feelings or control them. Ling Guang’s relationships are technically the opposite of Murong Li’s. While Murong Li hides his feelings and goes after men of power and tends to use them before leaving them, Ling Guang’s willing to sacrifice everything, including his kingdom, his health and his own life for men who are merely servants.

He's a king who doesn’t know proper protocol. He’s the type who’ll demand to eat with you at the same table:

Creeps outside the palace to see you off:

Hugs your sword around like a pillow while he waddles around listlessly and sleeps with it by his side after you’re long dead (grand total: 13 years):

Coddles you when you’re sick:

Takes arrows for you:

Isn’t afraid to cry and tell you how it is:

Faints violently and won’t rest until he can get your stolen body back:

The results?

If he’s not what loyal bodyguards like, I don’t know what he is. If Murong Li’s love interests have to pit themselves against each other to show how useful they are for his sake, Ling Guang’s love interests need to wrestle with a dead man he can’t let go of... which is hopeless, because you can’t kill a guy who’s already dead.

As a foil to Murong Li, what’s also interesting to note is that it’s alluded to and foreshadowed that he’s exactly the sort the loyal Yu Xiao, the current barbarian king, would have loved to have as a lover - honest, loyal and doting - unlike Murong Li himself. Gongsun Qian, a deputy minister with great foresight, had wanted Ling Guang to go to see the new barbarian kingdom, but he had refused to go outside the palace, shutting himself inside like an otaku. This decision ultimately gave Murong Li a step forward with his plans, at the great cost of four kingdoms, including his own.

Jian Bin: My boyfriend can (REALLY) fight

Next up is Jian Bin and his general. Jian Bin’s the king of Tian Ji, a new kingdom founded by astrologers. The catch here is that Jian Bin and his boyfriend, Qi Zhi Kan, are both men of science, and this tank of a boyfriend is a genius on the battlefield who doesn’t give a single shit about star signs, astrology and superstitions.

A story between a serious, loving king and his handsome general who was once a simple sword-maker in the woods, King Jian Bin meets his handsome ex-lumberjack boyfriend when he’s attacked, falls down from his horse and is rescued by the man himself.

Jian Bin then brings the guy back to his palace and dresses him in armor:

This puts the king’s general on the war path of several ministers and the superstitious people in their kingdom. As lovers, the two go through various trials together in an attempt to run their kingdom their way.

Qi Zhi Kan may seem like a herbivore in front of the king, but he’s really not one at all. He’s terrifying to a degree when it comes to warfare, and very, very difficult to take down. Unlike the other ministers, Qi Zhi Kan knows that he can expand the kingdom quickly and solve problems by waging war.

Even his allies are scared of him:

Ultimately, it’s a ship meant for those who like watching the king teasing his loyal subject and caressing armor whenever he’s around AND not around. Jian Bin even admits to it on-scene:

This loving and devoted couple were originally blessed as the ones with the most piggyback scenes, tender bandaging-your-chest and armor fondling, but they got censored unfortunately.

Scenes like these made the cut, though:

And that’s it! There are actually other minor ships, but these are the main ones for now.

If you’re sold and interested in the show, the series is available online on Rakuten Viki. https://www.viki.com/tv/35524c?locale=zh

#bl series #chinese bl #series recommendations #c-drama #men with sword #chinese period drama

[ladyloveandjustice]

Belated Spring 2020 Anime Overview: My Next Life as Villainess

For the Spring 2020 anime season, I mostly watched continuations of shows I was already into. The one new show I did pick up was My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! follows Katerina Claes, a spoiled young noble girl deviously scheming to win the heart of a prince- oh wait, never mind, she hit her head and remembered her past life! Turns out she’s an eighteen year old Japanese otaku chick who died and got reincarnated as the villainess in her favorite otome game. 

If you don’t feel like reading the wiki article, an otome game is basically a female- targeted dating sim where you play as a blank slate main character and date a bunch of pretty boys (and sometimes girls, but usually only if you go outside the mainstream ones), unlocking their backstories and collecting all the romantic endings.

Having played this game, Katarina is well aware that the Villainess character- who constantly tries to interfere with the game’s heroine and whichever boy she’s pursuing- is either exiled or killed in all of the games endings. And now she IS that villainess, living in the world of the game and all its characters! Does that mean she’s doomed to a horrible fate? What’s a girl to do?

Well, if you’re Katarina, what you do is be supportive and kind to the people around you and in doing so accidentally get every single character in the game to fall in love with you. And yes, this includes all the boys the heroine is supposed to date, the other female romantic rivals the heroine is faced with and the game’s heroine herself.

That’s right, we finally got us some bisexual romantic comedy hijinx last anime season, my friends! My Next Life as a Villainess was the delightful little show I really escaped into during these anxious pandemic times . All these girls casually falling in love with Katarina without it being treated as ‘weird’ was what particularly drew me to this show and warmed my gay little heart to see. It was honestly the perfect fluffy, low stress watch during these high stress times.

Anime has long been oversaturated with ‘harem’ stories- where a usually unwitting protagonist somehow gets a bevy of beauties in love with them- but it’s still unfortunately really unusual to see bisexual harems, especially ones with a girl at the center, so right away there’s a big draw to this story that helps it stick out from the rest.  (And worry not, the story is largely focused on Katarina having fun with these pals-who-are-not-so-secretly-in-love-with-her, rather than having a ton the dubious shenanigans you see in more sexually charged tales.)

Harem protoganists also famously tend to have the personality of potatoes, being so painfully bland it’s unclear why so many people would fall in love with them in the first place. But that definitely not the case for Katarina. She’s brash, ridiculous, kind and INCREDIBLY dense, and that for a pretty dynamic combination in this setting! She does genuinely come off as a fun person to be around. Unlike a lot of modern isekai shows, she doesn’t stumble into having incredible magic powers or skills, so her compassion is genuinely her greatest strength and what saves the day and wins hearts time and time again.

Katarina’s five brain cells doing their weekly check-in

(The moment she won my heart was when she responded to a tragic Frozen style situation with her friend locking himself away from people because he believed his magic was dangerous by taking an axe to his door. My kinda girl!)

The premise also allows for some plausible built-in reasons for the characters to take such special notice of Katarina- having been raised in a different world, she isn’t beholden to all the social rules, class divisions and noble family drama all the other kids in this very specific midevial-esque fantasy world are so embroiled in. This combined with her naturally earnest, accepting and straightfoward nature means she’s able to cross boundaries and reach out to them in a way they aren’t accustomed to. She was significant in each character’s life because she genuinely was the first to show them acceptance and affection without pretense, if only because she isn’t even aware there was supposed to be a pretense.

Katarina’s focus on trying not to die and her fear she’s going to meet the same fate as the villainess in the game also at least gives some kind of a basis to her comical obliviousness to everyone being in love with her. She assumes that everyone has to be into Maria (the heroine) and terrified of her because that’s how the game GOES okay, that’s CANON! Of course, this logic stretches thin as time goes on and it would be abundantly clear to most people that things have diverged greatly from the game’s storyline, but the show makes it clear that Katarina’s determined, one track mind is as much a gift as a curse. 

Her bullheadedness when it comes to picking up how everyone REALLY feels about her is an intentional gag on the show’s part and even her love interests are well aware of what a colossal dumbass she is and not afraid to point it out!

My Next Life as a Villainess isn’t without its flaws, and the personalities/backstories of some of the ‘love interests’ Katarina gathers may be a stumbling block on some- mostly the male ones.  Geordo, “the black hearted prince” has a bit of the “ possessive shoujo bad boy” archetype about him, and though he’s far from the worst that genre of love interest has to offer (there’s not much bad he can get up to due to Katarina’s obliviousness, the lighthearted nature of the show, and his rivals constantly getting in his way), the way he refuses to break Katarina and his engagement off despite her repeatedly asking him to, as well as some of his lines here and there, are definitely NOT cute. 

Keith is Katarina’s adopted brother, but clearly has a thing for her too. On one hand, they only first met when they were nine and he fell for her pretty immediately. On the other hand, he still refers to her as “sister” constantly which is kinda eesh. 

The other two guys are all right- Nicol’s big thing is he’s inexpressive and doesn’t talk much which, considering show doesn’t spend much time inside his head, doesn’t make him a very interesting character in the ensemble (maybe he comes across better in the novels) but there’s nothing wrong with him. Alan is undoubtedly the Best Boy in my book. He’s another common trope- rambunctious and competitive with Katarina but clearly soft for her- but he’s done well and they have a lot of cute moments together.

I find the girl love interests to be a much more interesting group overall, though this may be my obvious bias talking. Sophia has the strongest connection to Katarina, their backstories being intertwined in a surprising and touching way (I’m told in the novels her affection for Katarina was treated as more platonic, but the anime definitely plays it up as having romantic elements). Maria’s original role as the game’s heroine puts her in the most interesting position (and would make her the most narratively satisfying choice of love interest, if the show was actually interested in choosing). And while Mary is comically tenacious in her pursuit of Katarina, she’s doesn’t ever act ‘sinister’ or overstep boundaries in the way Geordo does, her “scheming” only really amounting to straightforwardly asking if Katarina wants to ditch her fiance and run away with her. 

As I mentioned, one thing that really contributes to My Next Life as a Villainess being a relaxing watch is that the queer characters are treated with casual acceptance. Mary in particular isn’t subtle about her crush on Katarina, but nobody bats an eye at her and she’s completely open and comfortable with herself too. The observing maid notes that the girls are in love with Katarina with the same bland affect as when she notes she notes the guys are. And while the social practices of the nobles are pretty heteronormative- girls are always engaged in arranged marriages to guys, the guys are expected to dance with the girls (something Mary complains about!)- there’s apparently a booming queer romance novel industry that inspires our young wlw.

Katarina, having grown up in a different world, seems to be the one most prone to heteronormativity of her group. She never really considers  that a girl would ever fall in love with her, but is also never hostile to the idea. It’s telling that when Mary very clearly indicates her desired romantic partner would be a girl, Katarina’s the only one that gets tripped up and has to walk back her assumption that Mary would be talking about a guy. 

Mary LAYING DOWN THE LAW

Also, Katarina has  SEVERAL “she’s so cute! My heart is beating faster!” moments with the other girls, on par in frequency with her moments with the guys. This strongly hints she’s an oblivious bisexual disaster.

So, My Next Life as Villainess is a fun, frothy watch and the rare positive example of silly wish-fufillment that’s inclusive to a wlw audience. But is the actual plot good, or remotely complex? The answer to that is no, the plot is fairly predictable and one definitely shouldn’t got into this story expecting a deep examination of the nature of fate or anything like that.There’s no real explanation of big reason as to why why Katarina was reborn into this game world and so on.

 The antagonist that does eventually emerge plays off otome game tropes a bit, but ultimately isn’t that interesting or built up all that well. . The attempts at drama the show makes towards the end fall a little flat, especially since it tends to rely on very-late-in-the-game-exposition-dumps (dark magic isn’t even MENTIONED as existing in this world until like, the second to last episode where it becomes relevant and we get a vague infodump explaining its mechanics). The conflict honestly almost feels shoehorned in and the climax is pretty standard and doesn’t really utilize the big cast of characters all that well

But in the end, that’s okay! The show makes it abundantly clear from the beginning it’s not here to be Deep, but to be some silly fun. And it really fulfills that purpose well, from it’s catchy, peppy theme tune to its consistently warm tone. It MAY get repetitive at times for some, and I do have some quibbles- like how I found the childhood segments to be some of the shows best material and wish we could have stayed in that section for a bit instead of rushing through it, how I wish Katarina had kept her cute little scar, etc- but overall, it was definitely the soothing balm I needed during a very rough time and I absolutely recommend it if you’re looking for a chill, feel-good watch.

 And hey, a second season’s supposed to be on the way too, so there’s something to potentially look forward to!

#my next life as a villainess #my next life as a villianess all routes lead to doom #destruction flag otome #otome gemu no hametsu furagu shika nai akuyaku reijo ni tensei shiteshimatta #anime overview #katarina claes #catarina claes #my reviews #spring 2020 anime

[serpenteve]

Lmfao paste magazine did their best shows of 2021 so far and shadow and bone is number 5, I agree with a lot of their opinions usually and frankly the show was pretty decent if you don't think about its logic for more than 20 seconds and it was quite entertaining but top 5 of 2021 material? I highly disagree, the fantasy world which is a big draw and it's political landscape is just window dressing without any actual depth, the plot contrivances are too many to count, the illogical character decisions, the half baked main character ( how is it that she gets the most screentime but is the least developed out of the main characters, why do the crows feel more real and complex than her), the fact that your main female character in your show that revolves around her is so devoid of any depth or growth is a crime in itself. The show has so many problems but I feel like since we barely get any decent high fantasy shows, there were none before GOT and there still aren't more than 5 that have already come out, so people tend to overlook a lot of flaws, also they hilariously did an article about things to improve in S2 and one of them was the villain... Um, that dude was literally the most complex character in S1, the one who's backstory we got, the one whose decisions made sense for the actual goal he's trying to accomplish. I am a simp for female characters and it is so rare for me to latch onto a male one in my shows and I really wanted to love Alina but I felt like they put zero thought into who she is a person and she is instead defined by her relationships and what she represents to the male characters and the world as a whole, I feel like it she was a really strong lamp that was thought to be lost and then found and then someone stole her nothing would change? Like who is this woman? What are her dreams and motives and wants and needs and dislikes, what drives her, what scares her, how does she feel as a part of an oppressed group etc. Having your female character say a generic fake feminist line that makes no sense does not make a well written female character, they should honestly take a look at some other shows although there is still a severe lack in female rep especially poc and LGBTQIA women, there are some shows that are doing it so well and so effortlessly it makes everything else look tragic not just with one female character but with multiple, my favorite example is the expanse which has by s3, 4 main female characters all of them women of color, all of them interesting and vital to the story, one is a savvy political leader that does whatever is necessary but is also a grandmother who says fuck 50 Times a day, one is an extremely talented soldier that goes through an amazing character arc, one is a genius engineer that's part of the oppressed class in this world and she wants better for her people, another one from the same class is a badass second in command that also goes through amazing character development and she's queer, and almost every other important woman in this universe is a poc, mechanics, political rivals, leaders of social unrest, the only important white woman that was there for a season was a gay spiritual leader, like..... Not everything is perfect but I have never seen this level of diversity in a show and it's done so so well, like these women are almost all in my top list of favorite characters every one of them could lead a show on her own and then some. Here are a couple of articles about them if you're interested https://filmschoolrejects(dot)com/the-women-of-the-expanse/?amp and https://marvelousgeeksmedia(dot)com/2021/03/06/womens-history-month-celebrating-the-women-of-the-expanse/?amp. I'm so sorry idk how this turned into an expanse recommendation post 😂, I just see all of us desperate for some well written female characters as I watch sab butcher their most important one and I'm like... Eric and leigh should be forced to watch this before they write another word.

I really wanted to love Alina but I felt like they put zero thought into who she is a person and she is instead defined by her relationships and what she represents to the male characters and the world as a whole

It still surprises me when people watching the show say that Alina is a generic and ill-defined protagonist because she was about 100 times worse in the book 😂Like, it was only watching Jessie's performance that finally breathed some life into that character for me, to be honest. But everything else you've mentioned here 100% tracks with the source material.

Like, arguably the reason Alina gets shipped with literally everyone and gets accused to being a self-insert for fans is because she is so generically written. If I didn't know any better, I would have assumed Bardugo intentionally wrote her this way to let fans step into her shoes and give her the largest appeal. Instead, we are left with a character that is incredibly passive. If you thought show!Alina was passive, hoooo boy, book!Alina is barely even a character, especially in the first book. The only thing Alina wants out of life is for Mal to love her and for them both to disappear from the plot---which, considering the conflict Bardugo has put her in, makes her highly unsympathetic and a frustrating protagonist to watch.

I saw the first season of the Expanse which is saying a lot because I pretty much *always* ditch TV shows ☠️I low-key hated Holden because he was such a generic White Man Protagonist™ but the other characters were infinitely more compelling (Chrisjen my beloved)!

#viv answers #sab meta #grisha discourse

[sunflowerdigs]

So, I did a little sarcastic-y review from the salt mines for RNM 3x09. Warnings for excessive sodium content, Maribel mourning, a desire to recycle cardboard, and, of course, Malex opinions. Without further ado:

- Every time Michael smiles I forget for like 5 whole seconds how much I hate that Malex keeps me shackled to this show. Too cute that he brought Alex lunch (and probably hoped he could sneak a glimpse of him) and they're going on their first date (omg omg omg).❤❤❤❤❤

- Kyle should yell at people more. Starting with his garbage friends who left him in a barn without proper triage or jello cups while he was in a coma (why didn't they just keep him at DS if he's having appointments there anyway? Nevermind... ). Alas, he's starting his understandable rage tour with Uncle Edgelord, who, naturally, makes a dramatic statement and tries to leave. I am so glad Kyle called him on that.

- Delmanes would be cute if Greg didn't have the personality of cardboard. They've created a character who is actually only here to remind us of how special and amazing Maria is. Turns out that's not super interesting. And it's so painfully obvious that it's a pair-your-spares situation. I really wish they'd just give her Kyle, he has the patience of a saint. Anyway, Isobel's pigtails are cute af (rip my Isobel/Maria/Kyle heart - I would have taken Isobel interrupting Delmanes and Heather's post with pigtails today as signs if not for genetics).

- Anatsa and Isobel's development seems to have taken place completely off-screen, like everything else gay on this show, so I'm guessing it's gonna stick. Honestly...I guess this is controversial but Isobel and Maria have really good chemistry and a history. I know their bond is supposed to read "sibling" but it doesn't for me. And rather than waste time watching them flirt with these one-note (ah, Greg chimes in right on time with a convenient line any rando could have delivered) LIs, I'd much rather see them get closer. The whole related thing has thrown a wrench into it for me. That said, it's nice to watch a woman be encouraged to go after another woman. 🎉

- Alex the sci-fi/fantasy nerd figuring out immediately that the hallucination is his own subconscious is 100% legit. Much like Kyle not letting his uncle pull a classic tall-dark-and-broody exit, I appreciate Alex's 4th-wall break moment.

- Not Max and Liz proving that discussions about s2 drama can occur on Roswell New Mexico?! What? Must be a straight thing. Lucky them.

- Isobel is actually acting a lot like Sherlock Holmes when he's on a case, from the wardrobe to the focus, and it's hot. Also, totally believable that Isobel would be able to pull up that pod from under the ice because we know she's been training even if it didn't happen onscreen. Because she told us. Just a suggestion.

- I love the idea of Jim Valenti as a double-agent, but I don't see how Eduardo thought he could keep Kyle safe by never knowing him. It feels like there's a lot more here Eduardo isn't saying.

- It wasn't a sister-fight that Maria and Isobel had, but whatever (no one got physically shoved or brought up a horrifying memory from 100000 years ago to shove in someone's face in public - doesn't count).

- Also, why would you waste a glass by throwing it into the fireplace? Wouldn't it just explode back in your face? Man, the show is trying so hard with Maria and Greg, I want to give them some kind of romance-novel award for effort (but not success).

- Not Liz and Max showing us that it's possible to move forward by discussing your past mistakes like adults instead of pretending they didn't happen!? What? Must be a straight thing. Lucky them.

- Draw a line on the bottle? No way, Valenti, he obviously wants you to chuck that whole thing straight into the fire in a fit of passion to prove that his words had an emotional impact.

- Also, Kyle wins the prize for this episode for that speech to Uncle Edgelord. Everyone go home. When do I get a Kyle and Alex spin-off where they travel the world, defying sci-fi tropes and seducing beautiful men and women?

- Not Liz and Max talking loudly about aliens while breaking and entering! This one is actually very believable, I take it back.

- It was idiotic of Liz to trust Heath. And Echo keep having this same fight because MAX IS RIGHT BUT THE SHOW WON'T LET HIM BE. Which is so obnoxious. I would forgive Liz for almost any sin (like, idk, getting a better romantic storyline because she's straight) because she's gorgeous and smart and tough and I wanna go live with her and her mad scientist energy on a deserted island somewhere. But she's being real dumb rn.

- I love the t-shirt and if Vlambase doesn't sell one I will. But he couldn't have held up a radio and blasted some Barry White? I feel like that would have cleared everyone but Alex put of the building real fast. Also, what is time on Roswell NM? Was Alex just setting the alarm every so often for kicks? Does Eduardo really not check in on staff who are working with dangerous technology for days on end? Also, why is this entire plot happening over a single goddamn episode instead of two or more so that we can really feel Alex wasting away under the machine's influence? The reason this twist is at all surprising is also the entire plot's undoing - Alex's demeanor wasn't exactly one of a man obsessed (or an addict, tbh) in his last scene.

- Anyway, back to Rizzoli and Isles. I definitely am always super excited to hear the details of my sister's sex life. All the time. That is totally a sister thing except where it's really not. Do any of these writers actually have a sister? I feel like they must because the Michael/Max/Isobel sibling chemistry is always bang on but Maribel is just...flirty lady city. Oh, and look, the beard just showed up with coffee to cockblock - it really is R&I!

- Back to Alex's plot line, which, much like Isobel's coffee, is Express To-Go. He's become haggard and worn in the time it's taken Michael's mom to find a cute sweater in the void. Seriously, we wasted like 3 whole episodes where Alex was presumably sitting in DS twiddling his thumbs and now he's being worn down by the machine in a single episode? Why didn't this plot start back in episode 3 or 4? Like...look, I don't come on here to be an asshole. But I just really hope they're taking note of what worked this season and what didn't because HOLY PACING FIASCO BATMAN. Just because you're giving us Malex doesn't mean everything else can just be hot garbage (not the acting, Taylor's doing his best to sell this). Also, when did Alex put his leg back on? I have so many questions but they aren't the good kind, so Michael better ride in soon and save this mess.

- Regarding what Nora is saying, it's fine, it makes sense but the zero build up makes it completely ineffective. Alex is afraid he doesn't love enough - it would have been nice to see that over several episodes instead of just being told in a burst of sudden exposition but, you know. Nice straight things we can't have, I guess.

- If Michael and Alex want their relationship to "purr" they could, idk, talk through their past misunderstandings like people in relationships do. Or the show could keep throwing exposition bombs at them, idek.

- Are those empty toilet paper rolls inside the machine? I knew the CW was budget but come on...

- And we finally get the Heath connection and it's to our brand new trope-y character, Wise Old Black Man Dallas. It's surprising but only because the 4th alien didn't exist before this episode. So, good job.

Overall, not the worst episode of RNM ever. I only wondered why I watch this show maybe 3 times this episode. And Michael's enthusiasm for Alex was adorable.

#malex #roswell new mexico #review #rnm spoilers #3x09

[criminalminds4days]

Family Matters | Chapter 6: Genius

Hello people! 

I have returned!

I am hoping you will enjoy this chapter, as I introduce one of my favorite characters from Criminal Minds (aside from Dr. Spencer Reid). I also hope you will have an amazing week. Love you all!

(Also, please forgive me if I glance over some cases, I am really bad at writing those scenes and I am trying my hardest)

I hope the wait was worth it and you enjoy this chapter!! 

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 3.6k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog

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(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 6: Genius

She should have known something was up. Spencer had called her to say that he didn't need a ride to work that day and that he would just meet her there. She just assumed he had a meeting with Hotch or something, but no, the reality was he was hoping to have some alone time with Jennifer Jareau.

How did she know? Well because she was so used to picking him up that despite knowing today would be different, she still stopped by the coffee shop and made her way to work at the same time she used to for the past couple of months. She figured once she reached the parking lot that she might as well get ahead on some paperwork, maybe she could even have time to figure out what she would give him for a gift since she hadn't yet found anything that would have the desired effect she hoped for. As soon as she reached the glass doors, she stopped in her tracks, almost dropping the cups of coffee she had in her hands. There they were. The blonde was reclining on his desk, her eyes never leaving him and their hands linked. He smiled as she spoke, not once acknowledging their environment. She tried to walk away, but she felt trapped in her place. It wasn't until she heard the elevator that she was able to move towards the trash can, dumping one of the coffees. Too late she realized it was hers and not Spencer's, she sighed and decided she would have to suck it and drink the one meant for him.

"No, that alone has been enough sugar for the rest of my life." She said aloud as she dumped the second drink in the trash can. She didn't understand how he could do a whole 32oz of that sugary drink but she applauded him. That was, of course, when she wasn't mad at him for what she assumed to be a hidden relationship with JJ.

There were so many things wrong with that scenario she couldn't begin to phantom which one made her the angriest. Was it the fact that they were friends with Will, who was the blonde's husband and father of her child? Or was it the fact that Spencer was the godfather of said child? Maybe it was that he never even mentioned he had feelings for JJ? Or that he would be capable of having those demonstrations in their office when he knew full well that it was against the rules?

She walked into the office. Now the blonde was sitting at her desk, filing paperwork as if she hadn't been flirting with the man only minutes ago.

"Morning!" She sparked, a bright smile on her face.

"Huh." That was all the girl responded. She made her way to her desk and logged into her computer.

"Hey, stranger." He spoke. "You're here early."

"Is that a crime now?" She answered, unamused.

"No, I just- Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Perfectly fine. Life is perfect, wouldn't you agree?"

"I don't know about perfect-"

"Spencer, I'm a little busy, can you please be quiet."

He looked so hurt she wondered if she had gone too far. Then again, he was a cheater, so boundaries didn't apply to him. She rolled her eyes at him and continued with her work. She pretended she didn't feel his eyes on her for what must have been ten minutes, and she closed all the gift option tabs she had accumulated in the last month.

Every morning for the past 25 days she had acknowledged how close his birthday was and would ask him what he wanted, but today, just two days before the grand day, she decided maybe getting him a gift was not worth her time.

"Hello, my beautiful soul." Penelope approached her, a cup of coffee in her hand. She leaned in and whispered. "I saw you dropped yours, so I thought I'd bring you another."

"What are you talking about?" She looked around. Emily had arrived and was now working on some documents, Derek had also arrived and was conversing with JJ, and Spencer tried subtly to listen in to their conversation while pretending to work on his case files. "Garcia, do you mind walking with me for a second? I want to run a theory by you."

The mentioned understood and nodded. "Yes, of course, dear." They made their way to the elevators, and Penelope stopped. "I'm sure it's not what you think it is."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"JJ and Reid. They've been best friends since forever ago. There is probably nothing going on. I mean, sure, she liked him a while back but-"

"She, what now?!"

"It was a long time ago! Things are different... I don't think you have anything to worry about, I'm sure he likes you."

"Woah, okay, let us stop for a second." She held her hands up, as she looked around to make sure no one was looking. Anderson waved at them and smiled as he exited the elevator and made his way to the bullpen. They returned the gesture and she waited until he was inside the glass doors to continue. "I hope Spencer doesn't like me because we're just friends. That's not why him and JJ being together makes me upset."

"I'm pretty sure they're not together."

"Did you see what I saw?"

"Well, yes. But that can mean a hundred things."

"One of the possibilities being they're secretly going out."

"Yes... No! Of course not, they would never do that."

"Listen, Pen, I really appreciate the coffee, and I also appreciate you trying to look out for them and me, but honestly you don't need to explain anything to me, as a matter of fact, nobody does. I just hope this doesn't blow up in their faces." She grabbed the drink and returned to the glass doors pushing unsuccessfully her way inside.

"It's a pull, honey." She did as she was told, and the door opened. "Some things never change." She heard the blonde say.

"Love you too Garcia." She spoke with a hint of sarcasm. Once at her desk again, her phone began vibrating. She took it out and looked towards Hotch's office, making sure he didn't see her take a call. "Hello?" She whispered.

"Honey, how have you been? How's Spencer? I know his birthday is coming up!"

"Hello, mom. I'm fine, we're all fine." She whispered into the line. Spencer looked at her as if hoping she would share what was happening, but she simply ignored him. "Wait, how do you know?"

"About his birthday? I checked your calendar."

"How-"

"Well, your phone was unlocked so I simply went through it. It's no big deal. If you don't know what to get him I can give you the keys to the museum I bought him and you can say it's from you."

"You did what?!" She screamed. Her co-workers looked at her and she smiled, deciding this was a conversation that needed to be held outside of her workspace. She walked out of the bullpen and into one of the offices that were empty, closing the door after her. "Please tell me you're joking."

"Of course not. I thought that maybe that would help him see that a future with you is bright. Maybe this is the final push he needs to propose and soon after marriage come kids! Honey, I'm not getting any younger, I need grandkids."

"So you're using a museum as a bribe?"

"No, not a bribe, just encouragement."

"Mother you're gonna go and return that museum, and I don't want to hear another word about it. Do you understand?"

"Would you look at the time, got to go, love you, honey!" With that she hung up the phone, the woman sighing.

She knew she wasn't going to do it and one of those days Spencer would receive the keys to the building. As soon as she sat down, he eyed her with curiosity, hoping she would tell him why she was so worked up. She didn't have to ignore him for long since Aaron Hotchner called them in for a case. There had been several drug addicts who had been murdered recently, all of them seeming to have gotten fed and cleaned before their deaths. The team had to make their way to Albuquerque, New Mexico. As they borded the plain, she basically ran to sit next to Emily, avoiding all contact with Reid or JJ.

"Ok, we need to figure out how the unsub is choosing his victims and what purpose they fulfill, not to mention what role their drastic change in appearance and health play into his fantasy," Hotch said as they gathered in the local police station. "There is another agent here to assist us in this investigation, please meet Agent-"

"Luke Alvez." She interrupted as soon as she recognized him. His hair was still short and his beard had grown out, but it was clear he trimmed it just enough. His brown eyes landed on her and he smiled.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite non-medical doctor."

"I had no idea you were here."

"I was working on another case and thought it might be good to stick around."

"That's right," Aaron spoke, drawing the attention away from the pair and back to him. "Agent Alvez, these are Agents Jareau, Prentiss, Rossi, Morgan, Dr. Reid, and well, you already know the other doctor on our team."

"It's very nice to meet you all." He said, winking at her. She amusingly rolled her eyes and directed her view back to her boss. "Okay, well, JJ and Reid, go to the M.E. and see what more he can give us on their conditions before their deaths. Prentiss, Morgan, and Rossi, go interview the families of the victims, and you two stay here with me."

"Actually, Alvez can go with JJ and I can help set a geographical profile," Spencer said.

"No, I need to speak to agent Alvez." Hotch's tone was clear, it wasn't up for negotiation.

"Alright, let's go JJ." He said reluctantly, but made no intention to leave.

"Meet me in the main office." Hotch said to her and Luke, after which he walked towards said room.

"Great, I just barely saw you again and I'm already being called to the principal's office." He said and she jokingly shoved him and followed the man. After observing said interaction, both JJ and Spencer exited the building.

As soon as they entered, they were instructed to close the door and sit down. "Now, I am thankful for your assistance Agent Alvez, but am I correct to assume providing help is not the only reason for your presence?"

"You are correct."

"Wait, what do you mean? Why are you here Luke?"

"Am I allowed to say it?"

"Yes, after all the decision is hers."

"Who's decision? Mine? Guys I suck at those, this morning I couldn't decide what socks to wear so I put on one of each."

This sparked a laugh from Luke and a smile from Hotch. "It's nothing bad, I promise." The first one said, "my boss simply wants me to try and convince you to transfer to our department."

"Oh, that's an easy answer, no." She shook her head and turned to her team leader, who seemed to have a prideful look. "The BAU is my team and my family. It's my dream job, and I would never leave by choice. Sorry Luke, I really enjoyed working with you, but I can't leave my team."

"I knew that, but I still had to ask."

"Well, now that it has been settled, why don't you two review the files and see if there are any patterns that could lead us to who is responsible for these murders."

"Yes sir." They stood to leave, before Hotch spoke again.

"And agent," he paused as she directed her attention to him. "I'm glad you're staying."

"You had doubts?"

"It comes with a raise in salary."

"Agent Hotchner, you know I don't do it for the money."

He nodded and they both made their way out of the office, leaving Aaron behind. They had made their way to the room the local PD had set up for them before he asked.

"So are you gonna tell me what's going on between you and doctor eyes?"

"Who?"

"Dr. Reid."

"Why did you call him eyes? He's not even wearing his glasses today."

"Because he kept making eyes at you." He said as if it was obvious. "Are you two a thing?"

"Yes, we're friends. And colleagues."

"Mhmm..."

"Since when are you so nosy?" She said as she pulled the case files from the box to begin reviewing them.

"Since there is a possibility of romance in the BAU."

"Why do you care?"

"Are you serious?" He asked, slightly offended. "Your team is the elite team of the FBI; everybody is jealous of you guys or wants to sleep with you. Which is saying a lot since it is not necessarily the best-paid position within the agency.” He pointed out, hinting at the possibility to earn more in his department, when she gave it no importance, he continued. "Anyway, as I was saying, you and your team are like the Kardashians, but for the bureau. Everybody knows about Emily Prentiss, Aaron Hotchner, Dr. Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, Penelope Garcia, David Rossi, and you, Dr. I-wanted-to-join-the-BAU-and-got-in-almost-instantly-even-though-it's-really-hard."

"What exactly do you know?"

"About you? Only that you were one of the youngest agents to be hired, presided only by Dr. Reid, other than that, there hasn't been much on you, doctor. You know how to keep your life under wraps. You definitely spark the curiosity of the people."

"I don't even want to know how many rules you are all breaking to find out stuff about me and my team, do I?"

"No, not really." She laughed and returned her view to the papers in her hands. "Let's get back to work."

"You never really told me about you and Dr. Reid."

"There is nothing to tell, we're just friends."

"Does he know that?"

"We have some new information from the M.E." Were Spencer's first words. He looked between the two agents in the room, eyebrow raised. For a moment he seemed upset at the scene but soon changed his expression. "He's been impregnating the victims. Multiple times."

"Wait, that makes sense," Luke spoke. "That means there has to be a pattern somewhere, there is no way he's just doing it for the heck of it, if he was, he would dispose of the baby as well, and the woman wouldn't give birth or carry a child more than once."

"You're right, maybe if we can figure out what he is trying to accomplish by making them have his children, we'll find him."

"There are several reasons for someone to want a baby." Spencer said, "there is a black market for babies that yields high monetary compensation, and there is also the possibility this man feels powerful by fathering all these children. If he is keeping them, there is also a possibility we can find him faster, it is not every day your neighbor starts having children all around."

"I am going to tell Hotch about our theories." She said and left the room. She was still upset at Spencer and didn't want to talk or spend time with him more than it was necessary, so she took the opportunity to not be in the same room.

"I'm gonna work on the geographical profile." She heard him say.

A couple of hours later Luke had left to look through possible leads. Spencer and JJ found a child that matched the DNA of one of the victims, leading them to confirm it was hers, further supporting their theory. Now they were looking for other children, and how giving them up for adoption did anything for the unsub.

"I got a geographical comfort zone," Spencer said, he had tried to start a conversation before, but if it wasn't work-related then she wouldn't even look at him. "I have narrowed it down to three possible children, Lisa, Elizabeth, and Amanda."

After hearing those names, Luke's theory came back to mind. "Luke was right." She said as she turned she saw the mentioned entered the station. She waved him down excessively so he would know it was important, once he was inside the room she smiled. "Luke Alvez you are a genius! I want to kiss you right now!" He looked shocked, and a little uncomfortable, "but I won't because we are in a public setting. I have to tell Hotch." She ran out and pulled her phone to call said man.

"I guess you're a genius Alvez," Reid said, with a slight tone of resentment.

"Well, I don't know what I did."

"To me, it seems like I'm the one doing the work," before he could hear a reply his phone began to ring. "Reid." He said as he answered.

"Is Alvez there?"

"Uh, yeah." He placed the phone on speaker.

"Alvez, you were right. The unsub is keeping the boys, that's his end goal. We believe it might have significance to him or his partner."

"He has a partner?"

"There are indications of medications the victims were taking that would allow them to carry the baby to term. Rossi did some digging and the only way they can get access to the medication is through prescription, and they would have to have ample knowledge of the effects they could have."

"That makes sense. What should we look for next?"

"We found two potential subjects, I need the two of you on your way."

"Okay, we'll get ready-" Spencer began speaking.

"Not you Reid, I need you running point with Garcia."

"I'll go get her and we'll be on our way." Alvez comprehended who he meant and walked towards the door.

After the arrest of the man, they made their way back to the station. She was cleaning out the paperwork she had received when she heard her phone ring.

"What's up, Garcia?"

"Please tell me it's all a lie."

"What are you talking about?"

"The offer that agent Alvez came up with."

"How did you know about that?"

"So it is true." She heard some typing from the line. "You can't leave us, don't let what happened between you and Reid make you leave us."

"Garcia, my decision on the matter has nothing to do with that."

"So you've made up your mind? I can't believe it."

"Garcia, please listen to me, you can't tell anyone about this." She was now playing on her emotions, trying to see how far Garcia would go before she actually asked her what her answer was.

"I- I need to go." With that, she hung up.

She sighed and finished her packing, Luke appearing in her sight of view.

"Hey there, doctor."

"Hello, Agent Alvez."

"Is there no way I could make you change your mind?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Will you at least think about it? My bosses might not hate me as much if I left with an 'I'll think about it' rather than a straight-up no." He pleaded.

"Fine, Agent Luke Alvez, I will consider your offer."

"Thank you." He walked inside and helped her finish cleaning up. "And to show my gratitude, I am offering some advice: you can't avoid him forever. I don't know what he did, but he certainly does not deserve to be placed on the sidelines."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't." He placed an arm around her and brought her in for a side hug. "I will be anxiously awaiting your answer. Take care agent."

"You too Luke. I missed working with you."

"You could do it every day."

She pushed him slightly and rolled her eyes. He laughed and waved goodbye one more time before exiting the room. She continued working when she felt someone rush in.

"What do you mean you're transferring?" Emily practically yelled. This brought in the attention of the rest of the team who soon enough were cramming the room. "I get it, Alvez is hot, but you can't just leave us because of an attractive man."

"Emily-" she tried to speak.

"Don't Emily me. I get it, really, I do. He's good looking, smart, and single, not to mention that beard, but come on, this is your team, and you can't leave us."

"You can't seriously be thinking of doing that for this guy," Spencer said, his arms crossed, and eyebrows furrowed.

"The kid is right, you re one of the smartest people I've met, you can't make a decision based solely on a man." Morgan added, and soon they were all talking at the same time.

"Can you all please calm down? I never said I was leaving." She tried to hide her smile, knowing full well this wasn't gonna end well, but right now their panicked faces were priceless. "I simply said I would think about it. It does come with a salary increase."

She saw Hotch at the edge of the door, an amused twinkle in his eyes. "The jet is ready; we need to get going." He said and walked away.

She squeezed between her teammates and made her way to the plane. She noticed how everybody kept stealing glances at her as if hoping that would be enough for her to say she was staying. She smiled and closed her eyes, ready for a nap.

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