#but. eh. ill get over it

[wabblebees]

its hitting real "i want a damn suit" and "i want a damn corset" hours around here folks

#but when ISNT it lmao. also i want ones i can wear at the same time. also i want so many harnesses. also #i have found THEE COOLEST underbust corset on etsy. it has the fallen angel by alexandre cabanel on it WHICH. FUCKS. SEVERELY #buuuuut i can tell from the product pics that it looks a lil cheap ((says handmade but... hm. if it IS theeen it was. def a bit rushed.)) #and i can Also tell it wouldnt fit great. aaand its 65$ that i rly shouldnt spend on that #and ive been looking for a good harness for FOREVER but again. expensive:( and so the one i wound up buying was cheap+fake+doesnt fit right #((ive still worn it a few times but i spend FOREVER fidgeting with it before i give up & move on with my life lmao)) #and theres no way in hell im finding a good suit online:/ #with my measurements its gonna need to be in-person with a tailor who REALLY knows wtf theyre doing #so i dont wind up looking like a terrible lady politician in an ill-fitting pantsuit😒 #& all my corsets are still back at my parents house (+ most of them were for reenacting so theyre def not ones id wear Over my clothes) :[ #anyway. ive been workin for a While to make my closet feel like Mine & fill it with things that feel Good to wear but. for some reason #recently it hasnt been doing the trick?? idk. cant tell if its just bc ive been feelin real brainweird + dysphoria/dysmorphia kickin my ass #but. eh. ill get over it #just gotta stare at a buncha product pages i wont buy anything from first ig lmao #bee speaks

[batcavescolony]

just saw someone say Rick Riordan making a TV show is just as bad as anything JKR has done. BFFR you're comparing Rick Riordan trying to make his world more inclusive, changing some parts because of money/time constraints, or just making changes cus he thinks they're needed, to JKR being a terrible person!

#and not to say Ricks work is perfect. ill be the firat to tell you his mistakes. his aspec rep is shit. his minorities rep has problems #he has general time line problems. im not says hes perfect but he tried from a good place #jkr named a character ChoChang. her Scottish character blow stuff up and tried to make alcohol. named a black character Shackelbolt #like damn get over yourself. #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #percy series #pjo series #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo tv series #pjo tv adaptation #if you wanna say shit about Rick ok. but be correct about it #how is he just as bad as jkr for not using the book he made in the early 2000s an exact script for the TV show being released in 2024? #and they yall had the audacity to be pissed when he didn't put a song about sex thats literally says `fuck her face° in the background of #LITERAL 12 YEAR OLDS in a place with memory altering properties..... thats whats you wanted. children getting high to a song about sex. #°oH bUt iN tHe mOvIe tHaT i WaTcHeD wHeN i waS tWeLvE' where the actors where like what 18? and weren't 12? that one? 🙄 #some of you are getting on my nerves. yes the show's pacing is eh really thats a reason to curisfy Rick Riordan? thats what you're deciding #this is the line? a tv show thats on its first season and is more accurate then the movies that came out? #good to know

[anglerflsh]

*puts luz and wik in a get along shirt*

they'd talk things through (eventually) - au link

#[.asks] #putting in the link so people don't get confused over what's going on #nachtare #wik hunter au #toh #luz noceda #they don't have ill will- Wik acted the way he did out of loyalty for Belos but in the end he did realise he'd been lied to #and then started working directly against him so. eh. it's still a tentative friendship but they get better eventually

[arinmoss]

gouache painting practice :3

#painted over an old ink doodle that looked kind eh #also forgot to add eyelashes but eh this was mostly to get used to gouache a little mroe and i almost got the hang of it #i think the problem is that its not greattttt for layering. like u can and i do lol but idk #also its cheap gouache so that might also be why lol #anyways i mainly just need a better more opaque white and ill probably be better at painting lol cause i only have a small tube of white so #dont use as much paint as ai porbably should #anyways i have a few more practice piece that i might finish up digitally eventuall ymaybe lol #art #doodle #gouache #painting #gouache practice

[kayzean]

Ok so my initial response to s3 was disappointment because I honestly thought we'd get more. They really pulled some One Piece anime levels of episode padding, with that fight against Nine. It did grate on me.

However

For my own sanity I'm gonna focus on what I enjoyed! Was this the weakest season imo? Yeah. Yeah it was. But we still got some awesome shit that im gonna put under a microscope.

My only real complaint? Not👏enough👏Shadow👏. But I won't lie to you that his more reservedness I'm seeing as him being like that when there are other people around. But I'm gonna make a separate post on that because the gears in my head are SPINNING rn with this thought!

Tldr: really wish we could have gotten more, but I'm not gonna be negative about it.

#sonic prime #Sonic prime s3 #sonic prime spoilers #I will like if i said my sonadow ass isn't sad. I really thought we might have gotten a little more but eh ill get over it #sonic the hedgehog #sth #sonic #shadow the hedgehog #sonadow

[pennamepersona]

the thing that finally let me understand wyll was seeing a couple posts about how he's like. unfazed in the beginning. this is normal to him

very "the day you were taken by the nautiloid was the worst day of your life. for the blade of frontiers, it was tuesday"

#bg3 #bg3 wyll #he really did get off the ship and then saunter over to the nearest place that needed saving #oh i was abducted by mindflayers? eh time to teach these kids how to hold a sword #and also to believe in themselves #the thing about wyll for me is that i accidentally didn't recruit him right away #straight up just missed him. got distracted by zevlor and that merc asshole #and in my first run i was very task oriented so i missed karlach as well #fully got through the whole thing up to the party in like 8 hours #then learned it should've taken me more like 30 #oh also didn't get lae'zel til the end of the act either #so wyll and lae'zel both took a backseat #i did hang out with karlach ill admit to that #partly bc her vibes are immaculate from day 1 and partly bc it was shadowheart astarion gale and me (cleric) for ages #do you have any idea how fucking incredible a barbarian feels when you've been living with 3 casters and a rogue #anyway sorry for thinking you were normal and kinda boring lawful good wyll #didn't realize that actually you're unhinged and have absolutely no point of reference for regular behaviors

[uncivilcivilservice]

Ha, the song Pompeii by Bastille turned 10 years old last month

I've always had a very strong belief that song is about relapsing into depression over and over again.

Kinda sucks to think that I was listening to it thinking about that 10 years ago, just as I'm listening to it tonight while sulking about getting worse again.

How am I going to be an optimist about this indeed 🤪

#I'm okay to be clear this isn't a cry for attention or help or whatever #I just let myself get my hopes up about having finally gotten over my depression when I have a slight improvement for a short while #My mentors and counsellors just watching me like :) Taylor you're sick :) you're not well :) you're ill :) pace yourself #and then I don't ✌️ #anyway eh eh oh eh oh and so on #personal

[momonokopan]

doodles + some hypothetical merch ideas bc im woefully unfed

#peach wips #the resellers over here are BRUTAL btw i cant get a single lick of anime merch bc its so rare and yet high demand #and obv the fandom is still ded so i feed myself #one day ill open a shop idk the obsessions theyre taking over #nier automata #nier automata fanart #nier replicant #nier fanart #first time the og gang makes an appearance! in the form of silly doodles but eh i love them #ill make a better version one day of these shrugs

[bunnyb34r]

Facing my fear of movie theaters by going to the first showing of the day sgdggdgd

I think I'll be the only person there which would be awesome tbh

AND I dont have to break my streak of having seen every hunger games movie in theaters :D I'm excited man

#marquilla #first one i saw with my friend from middle school and her weird ass family sgdgdgdggd second and third was with my ms/hs best friend who #also loved the books (we would have 'arguments' over what character was the best cough cough finnick cough cough which drove my dad insane #listening to every single time we would pick her up to come over (40 min drive one way atgagagsg) #and the last one i saw with my first boyfriend who really didnt have any thoughts one way or the other ab the books but he DID think gale #was better than peeta which lead to an 'argument' in the parking lot while we were looking for his moms car sgdgdggdgd we both #agreed that finnick was better though sgdggdg #and by arguments i mean they were those goofy 'my fav is better than YOURS' debates you have with friends that are always in good fun #now this time im going alone bc i really wanna see it and mom didnt read the book yet/isnt really interested (more like eh ill get you the #dvd when it comes out and we can watch it) this is my first time going by myself though which is kinda exciting sgdgd #did you know you can order food ahead of time and have it delivered to your seat?? thats wild to me #id feel so awkward doing that especially since it's probably just gonna be me today shhdhdhdhd

[princekirijo]

Damn Visions of V was so good, really made me appreciate V more as a character

#dmc #really just that man 🐴 picture right now thats what im feeling #the illustrations were gorgeous too really liked the style #but i feel like i get v better now #i knew the plot of it but i decided id try find it and actually read it and im really glad i did #the last chapter especially... ough #i GET vergil even more now #and ngl i kinda love griffon 😭 #i liked him in game but was kinda eh about him but honestly his personality won me over #love that jackass chicken <3 #oh we know we in the dmc hyperfixation now im reading the mangas #idk what ill read next but i know there are more

[valleyofgays]

what liking a videogame does to a guy

#alwx.txt #sky children of the light #sky cotl #do i still need to tag #eden spoilers #eh. ill tag it anyways ykno #i got all hairs. and i have over 100 ac #and im aiming for getting both valley masks as soon as they come out #if they do #i hope they do . _. #if not well. forest is cute too #a flex basically

[lightbulb-warning]

16 classmates means 256 potential dynamics to explore if we only consider 1 on 1 interactions (which i will! ...until this sentence ends) and that means 256 drawings. considering that group interactions exist and it can be any combo that is... a way larger number.

i have 2 hands, 0 time and too much ambition!!

haha! oh no.

#i would like to live my life and also fundematally tear apart my hpfxtn from the inside out and roll in its guts #that's not really possible unfortunately #because TIME #bitches love to hate on me for “quality over quantity uwu” which is valid as FUCK babe you do you #i need to do me and me wants to be engulfed in the concept of interaction. yes specifically through ship art. #that means gotta go fast. #as in. i get told a lot i should not try to improve my drawing speed because i draw fast enough. they fail to consider that i want to!!!! #my brain is an enigma to me too im a barely functioning human if me having social competence comes in the form of free art then #my therapist is gonna make so much fun of me i guess #/lh #mind you. this here talking to myself? this is all silly bullshit ego. i know very well whatever i WANT to do ill end up drawing koquichechi #“ok me we made a plan to practice drawing subtle understated emotions with charact-” “what if we drew koquichechi slapstick instead” #“but the PLAN??” “look at that. it's koquichechi.” #and then i babysit myself into FORCING myself to draw shit i want to draw and would enjoy drawing but it takes SO LONG #an doing things that take time *takes time*. outrageous. how dare you. i hate it. (bla bla bla time is an illusion i KNOW) #and im still figuring out subtle. groooooaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!!!!!!! #eh whatevs! #whether i make ANY of my bullshit projects real or not what matters is having fun with it before i die /lh #its gonna be okay #*yearning* i just think itd be cool!! #shut up maiora #rambling #i get threatened with violence constantly by art friends. they're so completely right. #anyway tell me all about your rare-pairs if you want!! i might scribble em in my free time :> #(use the ask box) #(yes platonic too!) #(i think itd be fun 👉👈) #(i wanna hear people's thoughts!!) #(might be done in pencil ^^') #(im getting distracted HAVE A NICE DAY BUHBYE)

[insomniac-pbparker]

@ the alarm clock rb

#I should work on the prototype for my webshooters again actually #i have an idea that's been sitting in a sketchbook for awhile and i could probably figure out how to model the base for it in CAD #never tried it (CAD) before but I was thinking about modeling that and some masks when i have free time (never) #CAD stands for Computer Aided Design by the way :) if anyone reads these lil rambles of mine #does anyone read these? #eh whatever #but I'm sure CAD isn't thst difficult. it also probably depends on the software used? i have a couple in mind I got from katze but that's #all i have on them #I'm probably going to take another engineering class over the summer so i can get more familiar with it #when I'm not teaching #actually i think I've mentioned it before but i teach sometimes over the summer! not highschoolers like miles's school; maybe a bit younger #used to work at a camp for awhile; i think ill volunteer later this year #one of my campers made me a magnet with a web and spider on it:) it was so cute #my camp name's inspired by spiders/webs (of course) so the kids love showing me spiders they find indoors #i bring em outside; away from trails and such and let em free #I'M GETTING SIDETRACKED #webshooters! right #i need to figure out how to compress the materials inside it while keeping the strength of them relatively similar #and i could figure out how to reload it quicker? but that requires more circuits and money that i definitely don't have #i could always take apart that 3d printer I was talking about a little while ago? there's probably some stuff in there I could reuse #the filament that it used to use could probably be used as the spool of string the projectile uses #I'll have to cut it vertically though #cuz that will definitely not fit in the webshooters w that rectangle shape #oh i am not good w a knife though. tw from here on for knives probably #the other day i was trying to cut something to cook and i accidentally knicked my finger 😬 it's mostly healed by now but DANG that wasn't #fun #SIDE NOTE. I miss my healing factor or whatever so badly #i bruise so easily it's actually kinda worrying #i was on my knees for a little bit the other day and now my knees are bruised slightly. auhh #<- NOT for That reason

[0bsc3ne]

ergh. 18 hours. probably gonna just break and do omad today. it might just be bc i've slept like shit but. yeah. i can just Tell this fast isn't gonna happen this week </3 i think i ate a little too much over the weekend and my brain's not quite ready to fast. oh well. guess my plan is omad today, tomorrow do a... exercise(?) where i let it be out of my hands whether i eat or not (stay the entire day at the art gallery before work; if they offer food, eat, if not, don't) and from there decide thursday. and then this weekend try to keep restriction up and try the fast again. got two more chances. it'll be ok.

#i think im a very disciplined person all things considered #but i think part of discipline is also knowing when to cut your losses and let the wants win sometimes #bc you Know youll be fuckin miserable if you dont #idk its just such a weird feeling of certainty i get sometimes #i cant quite pin it down when i fast #but its especially distinct when buying knickknacks and whatnot #like. most of the time if i want smth i can sigh and ignore the want bc ik its just gonna gather dust after a week and just. eh #but sometimes its just. such a Strong feeling of if i dont get it i Know ill regret it in a few years #and i think it all stems from this one fuckin glass giraffe i saw in an antique shop and didnt get and STILL think about #at least three times a week. #ITS BEEN OVER FIVE YEARS. #anyways. these tags got long #but while were both here i wanna just say i got this feeling last week and now I have a super nice glass cat hanging over my window:]

[daz4i]

i don't mean to alarm anyone but i think I'm genuinely losing my mind more and more each day

#like no longer in a ha ha funny way. I'm just losing my grasp on myself and feel fundamentally detached from life itself #it's not new it just hurts more now. i feel like an animal and not in a good way #maybe i need to change meds again. but. idk if there's even anything left i haven't tried yet ajsjftjgjh :/ #i am genuinely just... not meant to be alive... there is nothing in the world that can help me at this point #(eh 'at this point' implies smth once did but that's wrong too. nothing ever helped at all! it's been over a decade since i started - #- getting treatments for my mental illness! i think at this point it's just doomed. what's the use.) #i wish i wasn't so terrified of pain. i want to die. i want to try to kill myself. but I'm scared of not dying after i do. I'm so tired #I'm just so so tired of existing. I'm in so much pain. i wish i was never born #i hate my parents for bringing me into this world and i hate myself for not killing myself earlier #vent #suicide // #ask to tag #liveblogging my mental breakdown on tumblr dot com #sorry for being dramatic. everything is bad but my brain especially is

[cuntstable]

emerging from my kitchen like a soldier from a trench covered in dirt and harrowed look in my eyes but im holding a perfect bbq pulled pork burger with some coleslaw on a platter. with napkin

#it was good 👍 very suicy and sloppy and squirty #that being said if i ever get the chance to make it again i think ill do something different w the spices and the sauce….. i prefer savory #over sweet (so bbq sauce is like. eh) so maybe i could do something like…. hoising pulled pork maybe idk. umami…..