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ohholyfanfics · 3 years

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Ten Stages: Stage One| Tom Holland

Stage One: Realization, the stage where they slowly start to realize that they are falling for someone. Where Tom has a sudden realization thanks to his best mate Harrison Osterfield.

She was running late, a bit later than usual. Checking his watch once more, Tom found himself humming along to the slightly over-played tone filling the car. The hot Virginia sun causes sweat to form on his forehead; reaching over, he quickly switched the AC settings knowing she'd complain the moment she got inside the car. Biting his bottom lip, he felt a wave of relief wash through him as he watched her walk out of the building. Hair in a neat ponytail, her figure hugged by a dress that looked way too good on her. Her light pink blazer rested on her arm as she waved goodbye to a colleague before making her way over to his car.

"Ah always a gentleman.." she hummed in approval watching as he swiftly got out of the car and opening her door.

Giving her his signature boyish grin, he leaned close to her, placing a soft kiss onto her cheek. Closing her door, she couldn't help but roll her eyes, watching as he climbed back in. Tom watched as she fiddled with the climate control on her side from the corner of his eyes.

"You sure you aren't going through menopause or something.." he mumbled, backing out of the spot and soon driving them towards their weekly lunch date.

"Isn't that your job to know.." she hummed, pulling her phone out from her bag. "Plus, I think I'm a bit to young for that Thomas.." she mumbled.

"Well aren't you a doctor.." he huffed out as she took this chance to slap him across the head. The loud groan that escaped his lips was enough the have a satisfied sigh escaping her own.

"Besides the point Holland, how was the first half of work? Any life saving surgery?"

He shrugged, he loved what he did, and every day, he was thankful for it. Sure it was hard work to get where he was now, but here he stood. Now three years into residency, he had somewhat of an idea of what he wanted to do. After learning that a position would be opening up at the hospital, he knew this is where he was meant to be.

"Not really, pretty slow today.."

She nodded her head; Tom was a bit further along than she was. He was nearing the end of his term and now had a whole different set of pressure resting on his shoulders.

"A spot is opening up at the hospital though.." he mumbled once they were seated at the country club—the same country club where they had first been introduced.

"Wow Tom, are you gonna apply?" She asked with wide eyes. They hadn't talked much about his plans after med school; she knew he had some sort of idea of staying local. "Is it in the department you're in now?"

"Um it's actually in the trauma department.." he stated as she nodded her head. This was the first time he was actually voicing his future plans with her. It wasn't that he kept her in the dark or that she felt entitled in being informed. Tom was her best friend, and she just wanted to support him in any way possible.

"Wow that's huge.." she stated as he nodded his head. He knew she had been seeing or talking to some guy from the hospital. It was possibly the first time since March that she had actually gone out on a date. Tom doesn't know if she went on a date or if they even still talked.

"Not sure if it's something I want though."

Y/N knew that was a code for closing that conversation, so she did just that. In an instant, their discussion switched to the fact that she will be gone for a few days. Tom had promised to look after her place along with being on dog sitter duties for Layla. He hummed softly as she basically gave him a tiny little run down of her short weekend trip and promising takeout the moment she's back. He knew it was a code word for debriefing after spending a few days confined with her family members.

"Harrison's coming down right?" She asked once they were seated at their usual table. "He texted me asking if I'll be around.."

"Yeah, he's staying a couple days.." he mumbled, eyes scanning the menu though it was kinda pointless. He already knew both their words.

"Hmm, it'll be good for you." She mumbled, clearing her throat. As much as y/n hated to admit, she knew this time was difficult for any medical student. The ending was nearing, and the sudden pressure to have everything set in stone was terrifying. However, she knew as much as anyone that Tom was in a much different mindset than when they first met.

The Tom Holland sitting before her was different; he had a future planned out for himself. Sure, he didn't plan ahead like she had, but the small amount he did was a great start. She also knew that pushing him into making decisions was never an intelligent choice; Tom knew what he wanted and had all the necessary tools to pursue whatever it was he wanted in life. One thing she was clear on was that he was staying in Virginia.

"Can I ask you something.."

She looked up at him nodding her head. His tone was slightly different, closer to the one he used the morning after their last candle and wine night. The same night where she may have cried a bit too much in his guest room.

"That night at the beach, when when we made the bet, where you in a sense preparing yourself? You know, for like the breakup?" He asked softly, thanking the waiter as they set their drinks down.

She looked at him a little dumbfounded, not really knowing what to say. She knew what she had to say, but the words couldn't seem to come out. She looked at him for a few seconds, mind racing before finally speaking.

"No, I wasn't. If I'm being completely and utterly honest with you Tom, I thought Marc was maybe the one. We were together for so long and everything was so close to perfect. I don't think I really ever saw us ending.."

He nodded his head, ignore the slight sting upon hearing those words, not that he was surprised. It hurt him to know that something that she believed in so desperately ended without any explanation. He couldn't even begin to imagine what she was feeling or what she thought the moment everything sunk in. However, Tom also knew y/n was a lot stronger than everyone gave her credit for.

"Have you talked to him?"

"No, he didn't answer the first couple of texts I sent. So I guess I kinda got the hint you know. I'm not necessarily bothered by it, I mean I was in the beginning but now it kind feels numb."

"Shouldn't you like talk to a professional love.." he mumbled as she smiled at him softly. "I know it's in a sense traumatizing.."

"Don't worry doctor, I talk to my shrink about it. Im kinda coming to terms with the fact that maybe we weren't meant to be.." she mumbled as he nodded her head. "I just, I'm focusing on myself and getting through all this. If love comes my way it comes my way..."

"How knows darling, the one might be right under your nose." He chuckled, leaning over to bop her on the nose. He couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips, watching her nose scrunch up and eyes crinkle up.

"God I hate you sometimes.."

It's been two days since Y/N had left for New Hampshire on a small family getaway. As much as she wanted to drag him along, and as much as Tom hated to admit it, a weekend with the Y/L/N sounded pretty amazing; Harrison finally got some time off and was coming to visit. He was had just finished stocking his fridge with a few essential items the two would need before the door open and the sound of barking welcomed the blond inside the townhouse.

He couldn't help the sense of familiarity that washed over him seeing his best friend come into view. Tom hated to admit it, but he needed to see him, more than he could like to admit. After a hug that might have lasted a few seconds longer, they were both drowning in beer and one of Harrison's favorite dishes made by y/n.

"Where is our own personal pyschatrists anyways?" he asked before taking a sip of his beer.

"Went up north to visit family, something about get together or whatever.."

Harrison nodded his head, picking at the label on his beer. The two had done a decent amount of catch-up, but he couldn't seem to notice the lack of mention of his neighbor.

"Marc must be happy to see her.." Harrison mumbled as Tom tensed up at the name. He wasn't sure what Harrison did and didn't know. "I actually ran into him a few days ago."

Tom choked slightly on his beer as he looked back at him at a loss. He wrecked his brain on what he could say but kept coming out short. The one thing coming to mind was just blurring out how Marc suddenly stopped responding without an explanation. How he suddenly can't stop thinking about their stupid bet, and how every day the chances of becoming a reality increase.

"Mate, they aren't together anymore..."

"Stop bullshitting me Holland, Marc looked very much in love with her when I asked him how things were between them.."

Tom couldn't help but scoff, thinking back to the night she had shown up with too many bottles of wine and a broken heart.

"Mate he ghosted it, thats a pretty funny way of showing your love."

"Fuck, I had no idea."

"No one did mate."

The past few days were pleasant and relaxing; the two spent time together. Harrison was just what time needed, and within the short few days Harrison was there, Tom realized a couple of things:

One that he couldn't possibly live without both Y/N and Harrison in his life.

Two that he was going to take the position at the Trauma Department.

"Thomas Stanley did you miss me..." she giggled softly as he brought her into a bone-crushing embrace. The sigh that escaped his lips was overwhelming.

Maybe, you don't see her as just a friend, mate. I don't do half of the shit you do with her, with Jessica.."

"Shut up, Y/N.." he mumbled, slightly pushing her away while shaking Harrison's voice out of his head. "I got that wine you told me about.."

"Yum, it's good." she stated as she took a seat at the island. He couldn't help but smile as she leaned over, smelling the candle he had picked out. "Cactus Bloom?"

"Its a good debriefing scent, not too intesne.."

I don't bother to memorize small insignificant facts about just some random girl, not even if we're close. I'd understand a few minor details, but not all.

She watched as he poured them both a glass before handing her a plastic spoon and pushing a carton of takeout towards her. She hummed in appreciation, sending him a wink.

"So how was your few days with Harrison?" she asked, swirling the pasta around. "How's he doing?"

"He's doing, says the kids say he speaks funny.."

"He does speak funny, you both do.." she hummed, locking eyes with him and a wide grin. "But its a cute funny.."

"Funny."

She hummed, sending him a wink before taking a few more sips of her wine. He sighed, leaning back in his seat as he took a good look at her. She looked different; she was happier, lighter even. It was clear these few days away did good on her, and he was glad.

You notice the little things about her Tom, from the color of her nails to when her mood shifts. No one reads that deep unless they fancy someone.

"I'm gonna take the spot in the truma department.."

Her lips formed an 'O' before launching herself into his arms. Her lips lightly brushing the skin against his neck, causing his arms to hold her a little tighter.

Now tell me, Holland, how does she make you feel? Don't hold back anything Tom, it's me. You can be honest, mate. Do you fancy Y/N?

"God, Tommy I'm so happy for you.."

The way her eyes sparkled caused a storm to awaken within him. His heart was beating a bit too fast, the sudden urge to pull her into a kiss. The feeling was overwhelming as she started to ramble still in his embrace.

It was at that moment that the realization kicked in. Tom Holland was starting to fall for his best friend, and he wasn't sure how to deal with it.

Taglist:

@thenoddingbunny-blog @blueberrynonnie @bi-lmg

#Tom Holland #tom holland imagine #Tom Holland imagines #Tom Holland fanfic #Tom Holland fanfics #Tom Holland fanfiction #Tom Holland fanfictions #Tom Holland fic #Tom Holland fics #Tom Holland one shot #Tom Holland one shots #Tom Holland oneshot #Tom Holland oneshots #Tom Holland imagine #Tom Holland au #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader

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the-toppat-king · 4 years

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Chapter Eight: Brothers at Heart

Sven groaned a bit as he woke up.

For a moment the Swed lay on the stiff bed of the med bay, staring at the ceiling. A dull pain spread through his back, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been the past few days. Sighing, Sven rubbed his eyes and slowly sat up. Thomas sat nearby, reading, and Sven felt a familiar relief at seeing him.

Since they were caught he'd been having nightmares. The first night he had dreamt that they hadn't been captured, but rather killed in front of him. He had screamed when he woke up, but thankfully hadn't had that one again since the two escaped while he had been unconscious. The new nightmare was that their escape was only a dream. He'd wake up in the nightmare and they'd be gone again.

"A', you're awake."

Sven glanced up, smiling as he saw Right in the doorway.

"Hey, Right. How's Henry doing?"

"You two are so predictable, 'Enry asks the same question every time 'e sees Reg and I." Right laughed a bit. "'E's adjusting. Not easy 'aving a new spine, I suppose, but he's toug'ing it out. Pretty sure the doc might be keepin' 'im 'ig' on pain killers whenever s'e's not working on 'im."

"How's Reginald handling it?" He frowned. "He's not overworking himself, is he?" Sven couldn't imagine how hard it had to be for Reginald. He loses one son and almost loses the other in one day, immediately gets the first son back and then loses him again. Sven hadn't been there, but he'd heard that Reginald had seen Henry die. Even if it was only temporary, it couldn't have been easy. Hell, it was hard for him to even hear about.

"No, 'Enry gave 'im an order to take it easy and consider 'is limits. It ain't easy on eit'er of us, but we'll manage." Right walked over, sitting down by him. "But 'ow are you doing, Sven? I know you've been 'aving nig'tmares."

"Thomas told you?" Sven rubbed his arm, shooting Thomas a glare.

"I've done nothing of the sort! Reginald checks on you occasionally." He didn't even look up from his book, licking his thumb to turn the page. "It's not my place to tell anyone if you don't want to talk about it.

"T'omas is telling the truth." Right frowned. "And Burt c'ecks the cameras when 'e gets up in t'e morning. 'E's seen you wake up screaming."

Goddammit Burt.

"Yeah, I..." Sven sighed, looking at his feet. "...it's nothing. There's just...a lot of guilt."

"W'y?"

"If it wasn't for me getting hurt, Henry wouldn't have been captured and he wouldn't be injured. He shouldn't have stopped for me."

"Sven."

The blonde looked up at Right as he took his hand.

"W'at 'appened was not your fault." He told him sternly. "I told Reginald this and I'll tell you the same t'ing, Dmitri s'ot you, Dmitri s'ot 'Enry, Dmirti is w'y t'is all 'appened. And Dmitri is not getting away wit' t'is. I know w'at I'm saying won't stick at first, and I know it won't stop the guilt. It won't stop the nig'tmares or make you feel better yet. But for now I need ya to know t'at you couldn't 'ave prevented this. Someone would 'ave been caug't no matter w'at. Dmitri would not 'ave been satisfied wit' just you. I mean, t'ere was a fuckin' riot, and t'e man focused on 'Enry, C'arles, Ellie and T'omas just because t'ey started it and ruined 'is reputation."

"I know..."

"So don't blame yourself." Right sighed. "I know it ain't gonna be easy, Sven. I never said it was, but you gotta fig't off t'ose t'oug'ts t'at it was your fault, because it wasn't."

The blonde sighed, nodding. "Alright, Pa." He paused a moment, taking a breath. "Do you think I could see Hen?"

"If you can prevent Reg from bein' a mot'er 'en for an 'our or two." Right grinned. "It's no good for you to stay in the med bay all day."

Sven smiled...

"Although you get to ask Dr. Vinsc'pinsilstien."

...and immediately deflated. He didn't know much about the woman, only that she was a former Toppat Clan member and she had a grudge. He knew she was a member around the time Terrence was leader, and while he only met her a handful of times(typically when he got dragged into Henry's mischief), she had always intimidated him a bit. But he understood asking her himself, he was an adult, after all.

Also she might be a tad bit angry if I just show up. Sven thought with a wince. We're lucky that she even agreed to save Henry in the first place, we should not antagonize her.

"That's fair, I suppose." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Thank you for letting me see him, Dr. Vinschpinsilstien."

"Mhm. I have a feeling it would have ended in a fight if I said no."

"Why is that?"

"Just a hunch." She muttered. "Toppats are stubborn people who don't usually take no for an answer."

"Dr. Vinschpinsilstien." Sven paused. "We are not in any kind of place to make demands of you or make you angry. We're lucky you even decided to stabilize Henry, let alone perform the surgery to save him."

"Eh, I can't complain much. He's not bad company, and he's quite bright."

"...are we talking about the same Henry Stickmin? The man climbs in vents."

Dr. Vinschpinsilstien laughed a bit. "Never outgrew that?"

"Well his first week of leader I caught him stuck in the vent above his desk. I still have no clue how he got up there or why."

"Eh, he's a small man. Probably just likes small spaces."

With that, she opened the door.

Sven stood silently a moment.

Henry was talking quietly with Charles, but what really caught his attention was the lack of a shirt and the fresh scars the marked his pale skin. His left side, around his shoulder area, was scarred horribly and the entire arm, shoulder included, was gone. The new arm itself was detached, laying on Henry's lap while he worked on it. There was a piece of metal with a part to connect the arm to on where the shoulder once would have been. His chest was scarred horribly as well. One long scar went down his chest, where Sven assumed his heart had been removed. A light glowed brightly on the center of his chest, fading and brightening with the rhythm of a heartbeat.

Scars also crossed his face, one going from the bottom right half of his face up near the top corner of his left eye and a couple down the left side of his face. His left eye was dull, pupil cloudy. Blind.

Sven didn't think he wanted to see his back.

Suddenly Henry looked up, noticing his adoptive brother standing there. A grin spread across his face and he set his arm aside, practically jumping up. "Sven-"

-and immediately Henry was falling forward.

The blonde just barely managed to dart forward in time to catch him. "Henry!"

"Eh, sorry, this is going to take some times to get used to." He laughed a bit as Sven shifted to prop him up. "Doc says it'll take some time before I can-"

"Before you can even stand!" She finished. "And not just time, physical therapy! You're not going to recover if you're so reckless!"

"Sorry, Doc." He replied, voice a bit quieter. Sven blinked at him, something hitting him.

He's talking to them.

"Эти проклятые Топпаты." Dr. Vinschpinsilstien muttered, leaving. "Они собираются убить меня!"

"You're talking." Sven looked at Henry. "Since when?"

Henry glanced at Charles with a goofy grin. "What can I say? For a government pilot, he's not that bad. Ellie's pretty cool, too, and the doctor is good company when she's not annoyed."

"Hey, uh." Charles suddenly stood, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sven, right? I...I'm sorry. If I hadn't run into you guys, you wouldn't have been hurt and Henry wouldn't have gotten caught."

Sven stared blankly at him. He...apologized? For what?

"If it wasn't for me getting hurt, Henry wouldn't have been captured and he wouldn't be injured. He shouldn't have stopped for me."

Oh.

For some reason it hadn't occurred to him that anyone else involved would be feeling some kind of guilt. How could that not occur to him? Thomas and Reginald saw him fall, Ellie was the person just before him on the ladder, Geoffery left him and Charles was the one to ask for help.

Do I even blame him? Sven loathed the government, of course. He didn't think there was a Toppat who didn't.(Except maybe Henry, but Henry was always a bit of an odd ball.) But could he really blame Charles for doing his job?

Both of them were there at the wrong time.

"It isn't your fault." Sven avoided his eyes as he helped Henry back to the bed. "Trust me, I get it, and I get that it isn't going to be easy. But just remember that this is all Dmitri's fault. You got involved because of the way he runs the wall, right? If he weren't a goddamn dictator, you wouldn't be involved."

Charles blinked a couple times, then smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Besides, I need to focus on taking them down!"

Optimist, much?

"We need to focus on taking them down." Henry corrected. "The government's agreed to get off our back for a while if we help."

"What? A-are you serious?" Sven straightened up, and Charles rubbed the back of his neck.

"I mean...we can't actually prove you've done anything illegal yet? As a group, I mean. We can try to take down your leaders, but as a whole we can't touch the Clan itself." He admitted. "It's why we sent Henry on board, to either capture Reginald or the Right Hand Man or find evidence that would let us make an arrest. But, uh, that backfired."

"It almost didn't." Sven admitted. "I wasn't there, but from what I've heard, Henry was very close to handing Reginald over. He only decided against it because leadership of the Toppat Clan was better in the long run."

Henry nodded. "...although, that might not be an option anymore."

"...what?"

"Dr. V thinks it might be best if I step down." Henry admitted. "...and I don't think she's wrong. My heart and arm, fine, I can deal with that and it won't slow me down. But my spine had to be completely replaced, along with my ribs. My spine is actually exposed, all it takes is one gunshot for the cybernetics keeping me alive to start failing. One mission gone wrong, or one rouge Toppat who gets unhappy with my leadership..."

"...and it'd be easy to take you out." Sven finished quietly. "But...if you don't come back, what will you do? Do you have anywhere to go?"

"Dr. Vinschpinsilstien offered me a job here if I want it. Look, I won't abandon you guys right now, I won't make any concrete decisions until..." Henry glanced at Charles. "Well, you know."

Until the rocket launches. Sven guessed. "...I don't want to lose you again."

"...I know. I don't want to say goodbye, either. But...you guys will always be family, don't get me wrong, but I just...I don't think my place is with the Clan anymore. I...I don't think it has been for a long time."

Sven sighed, sitting on the end of the bed as Henry returned to tinkering with the arm. His heart sank a bit, but he knew Henry was right.

It wasn't safe for him to come back permanently. Henry had been a Toppat once, but he wasn't anymore and Sven knew that. He reasoned that it wasn't like they couldn't call, and they would have to come back to Earth for raids. They could see each other every once in a while.

"Y'know." Charles spoke up. "Uh, we do fund Dr. Vinschpinsilstien."

Sven looked at him, confused.

"Her research, I mean. And in exchange we get to be some of the first people to test out her cybernetics. So, uh, if Henry actually did want to work with her, we might be able to get him a pardon under the reasoning that he works with us. I mean, she...doesn't really work for or with us, but who cares about technicalities?"

"...you'd do that?"

"Of course! Henry's my friend! Also we do owe him for the whole kidnapping thing." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, I, uh, don't know why the General thought that was a good idea."

"Ellie gets pardoned first." Henry reminded him.

"Sure. We have...no idea what she was in there for, actually." Charles admitted. "She was a thief, sure, but it was nothing that notable."

"It doesn't matter to Dmitri." Henry muttered. "It wouldn't surprise me if he just kidnapped her without thinking and it just so happened she had a criminal record. But it's not our place to ask unless she wants to tell us."

"I hope she's willing to open up to us." Charles added. "We'll be a real Triple Threat for the Wall!"

"...why did you say it like that?"

"Charles likes to be dramatic."

"I do not-"

"You crashed a helicopter into the airship."

"I- Okay, you got me there."

Sven smiled.

At least if Henry stayed while the Clan left, he wouldn't be left alone.

And while the grief was still there, it didn't seem as bad now.

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Translations Эти проклятые Топпаты - These damn Toppats Они собираются убить меня - They're going to be the death of me

#Chapters #The Toppat King #Dr. Vinschpinsilstien #Sven Svensson #Right Hand Man #Thomas Chestershire #Ellie Rose #Charles Calvin

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expression-in-its-essence · 5 years

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The Goldfinch movie.

7 min 26 secs in : Why the fuck did they start the movie like that. Why didn't the explosion take place? Theo's mom's apartment? His anxiety? Also.. why do they keep cutting the scenes abruptly? They ain't tweets... No limit.. then??

8 min 2 sec in : Okay they went to the apartment. Audrey's sweater deserved more screen time. The lipstain on the mug in focus *chef's kiss* poetic cinema!

9 min 19 sec in : Do you see what I see? Tom Cable's face has a stark resemblance to Boris's face. Did Theo have a crush on him?

9 min 54 sec in : Mr Barbour's hand is shaking. I like that they put it in there. He was sick. Nice. (I'd imagined Audrey's apartment building entrance like they showed the Barbour's apartment building entrance. Wild.)

11 min 8 sec in : Don't shove it into his face that y'all are fancy okay? He's not used to that life style. He didn't have maids making his bed. ARE YOU GIVING HIM DRUGS, MRS BARBOUR? But you just glared at your husband for offering him the same sort of thing?? Oh God. Poor child. "it's perfectly understandable" my ass. You gave him meds just because your sleep was getting affected.

14 min 39 sec : Woah woah woah Theo wtf you're so smol how'd you do that? Also... Again. The frame of Theo and Tom standing close and Theo and Boris standing close when they kissed, Theo is wearing the same damn sweater.

16 min 58 sec in : Ayyyy Jeffery Wright!

20 min 33 sec in : "He drank a lot", Theo about his dad. Honey just wait up, you will too. (The grilled sandwich and the cute lil smile 😍 also this is the first time since the movie started that Oakes' voice isn't deep.)

23 min 54 sec in : Wizard of Oz poster, I see you!

24 min 19 sec in : I love how Oakes is expressing being caught off guard. Theo knows he did something bad and every time he's dealing with something he didn't expect to deal with, he's like OMG THEY KNOW ABOUT THE PAINTING AND IM FUCKED even if no one knows.

25 min 1 sec in : The glasses made a difference. He went from mature to cute. Angry bird to angry birb.

25 min 44 sec in : Another sweater? Or was this THE sweater of Audrey? (Off topic but Oakes is hella cute. I could murder anyone who hurts him.)

29 min 9 sec in : Pippa doesn't remember or doesn't wanna remember? There was something in her eyes that was hard to read. Also, why doesn't anyone say 'I'm sorry about your mom' to Theo? Do Americans not care? It's weird to see no response when he tells people that Audrey is dead.

31 min 17 sec in : "The Goldfinch, destroyed"? Then why is Theo upset. Good riddance. Oh yeah. I know why. It's Donna Tartt we're talking about.

32 min 39 sec in : Hobie just casually predicting the future. "It's only fake if you pass it on as an original". Theo's like, "noted, gonna do exactly that".

34 min 16 sec in : Why does Theo write like a five year old child? That's toddler handwriting! And omg all the Andy-prom-dress memes are making sense now. (Also did I mention that Mrs Barbour seems more selfish in the film than she does in the book. Like hey I'm putting up with this kid because he helps my kid. He's serving a purpose for me. What the hell.) (How old is Andy anyway? He looks younger than Theo. I think he's different. Didn't grow up like other kids. That was mentioned in the book right?)

35 min 20 sec in : Ayyy Hobie's earring!

35 min 49 sec in : He shopped for himself? Nice! Didn't know kids could shop without adult supervision in the West. (Because they can't in the East.)

35 min 50 sec in : Ayyyy Sarah Paulson! Damn she's hot. How can you dislike her? *heart eyes*

37 min 30 sec in : I can't bring myself to hate Luke Wilson since Skeleton Twins but SHUT THE FUCK UP LARRY! AUDREY DESERVED BETTER. Look at how Larry and Xandra are looking at the place like they're vultures.

39 min 34 sec : They got the airport scene right. STOP GIVING HIM DRUGS WTH IS WRONG WITH THE ADULTS IN THIS MOVIE!

41 min 12 sec in : Ayyy Popper!!!!!

43 min 27 sec in : It just dawned on Theo that he's alone. Oh god. My poor baby.

45 min 12 sec in : Let me take this moment to say that Ashleigh Cummings is pretty. And I finally get why y'all were pissed at the non linear storyline and the weird voiceovers. Guess I'd been prepared for that so it didn't really suck that much.

49 min 30 sec in : I'd imagined Boreo reunion like the Platt Theo reunion. In the day. Dang it. Also... Adult Platt Barbour was not supposed to be good looking? In the book?

55 min 34 sec in : Without context, none of it could make sense. Apologies to whoever didn't read the book beforehand. Crowley fucked this up.

58 min in : Ayyyy Finn Wolfhard! BORIS IS HERE AND IM SO EXCITED IDK WHY

1 hour in : It's such a Boris thing to leave the bag unzipped.

1 hour 3 min 20 sec in : Slumdog Millionaire's Jai Ho (2008) is playing in the background. The only song that I've recognized so far. Wow. Lets me know about the time setting. Nice.

1 hr 3 min in : Someone gif " That cost twenty dollars!" *Stare* "That would have cost twenty dollars!"

1 hr 8 min in : So Boris's room is exactly like I had imagined but Theo's room isn't. Boris just mentioned Kotku though.

1 hr 9 min 14 sec in : Isn't it hella hot in Vegas? Why are they wearing sweaters? Or does drug intake make you more vulnerable to the environment?

1 hr 10 min 15 sec in : Xandra Theo argument : gold. "Cocktail sausages that you like." I wanna laugh in Crowley's face. What was he thinking?? Omg I'm dying.

1 hr 11 min 17 sec in : The slap sound didn't work??

1 hr 13 min 53 sec in : I like serious Boris better.

1 hr 14 min in : The slum house Audrey dream thing was not in the book. That's an entirely new addition.

1 hr 18 min 26 sec in : The Welty Theo scene is awesome. The sound effects work. I feel suffocated. The ambulance noise fiasco is also nicely pulled off. (also Theo's Yellow bag was dirty af then how did it get all clean when he didn't even do anything to it?)

1 hr 20 min 57 sec in : Shhhh Potter.

1 hr 22 min in : Holy shit he got slapped twice!! Ouch! And Larry's audacity to tell Theo to stop with the crying?? Good thing he died. Asshole.

1 hr 25 min in : "You don't tell me a lot of things but that's okay". I see what you did there, Boris. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 26 min in : "Act normal" - Theo knows his way around drugs pretty well, doesn't he?

1 hr 30 min in : "No family No friends" line punched me in the face. (Also awww popchik's excuse was the last resort for Boris to make Theo stay.)

1 hr 31 min 17 sec in : That pause after "What do you have to tell me?". You can clearly see Boris struggling to hold something back. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 31 min 34 sec in : What the fuck is that music? Oh heyyyyyy they kissed!-- he fucking runs away?? Also what kind of a kangaroo runs like that? (Yes, the taxi driver watched. I don't have to wonder anymore.) (They didn't address why he took the bus instead of flying?)

1 hr 33 min in : I didn't imagine Welty's room like that at all. Also why doesn't Hobie seem happy to see Theo again?

1 hr 35 min in : Longer stretches of one storyline are kinda bearable. From drugs in storage unit to waking up beside Kitsey. We got Vegas and Young Theo. Nice. (Also, who the heck puts jewelry in shoes? Is Theo that dumb? And now I can't think of anything else than Boris piercing his ear for the emerald earring. Tumblr has fucked it up bad.)

1 hr 43 min in : They nailed the Kitsey Theo confrontation.

1 hr 44 min in : Ayyy Ozma of Oz!

1 hr 48 min in : I noticed it before but I wasn't sure... Now I am. Pippa has Welty's ring. On her finger. At all times. (also, is NYC always that noisy? Must suck to walk on the roads.)

1 hr 52 min 23 sec in : They nailed the Theo Pippa date. What's that song playing in the background? I want the name. It's almost like two hours and I still haven't seen Aneurin Barnard once. Why! (Jerome's mentioned in the movie btw.)

1 hr 52 min 51 sec in : Complained too soon. Boris is sat in the dark doing god knows what. My man Aneurin is here!

1 hr 53 min 37 sec in : BOREO REUNIONNNNNN - no don't look at me like that I only watched it thrice.

1 hr 56 min in : Boris saying "it's someone else" with a knowing look and Theo looking at him. The frickin yearning.

1 hr 57 min in : Boris is like you're unhappy, I'm here, we're both rich, let's f*ck. "We could"... What are you suggesting dude he's repressed!

1 hr 58 min in : "you unwrapped it and showed it to me." So many meanings. The heart, the love the soul... Wow. Good for you, screen play writers! ( It's kinda hilarious how Boris got mad at Theo for never quote unquote fucking opening it.)

2 hr 1 min in : I'm calling it. They're going to fuck up the Theo Hobie confrontation. They put it on the wrong time. And they also fucked up the text from the book.

2 hr 5 min 48 sec in : Even Platt is saving his sister's face. Also where did Todd go? Did he never grow up? I wish Mrs Barbour didn't use Theo like she did.

2 hr 7 min in : The frame where Boris is between Kitsey and Theo. Chef's kiss.

2 hr 10 min 54 sec in : *intense music playing* Boris put his leg up on the table and I burst into laughter THOSE ARE THE FAMOUS FUCK ME PUMPS.

2 hr 11 min in : AAAAA THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AAAAAAA (Theo just knows without looking that Boris is close enough to touch? Theo are you sure you don't feel feelings for him?)

2 hr 12 min in : Theo is so worried that I'm not sure if it's for Boris or for losing the painting again. Omg he just murdered a man. Oh god.

2 hr 14 min in : Theo is spiralling. In the movie they imply that Hobie played a part in him attempting suicide. So wrong. Poor Hobie. In the book that wasn't the case.

2 hr 15 min in : The transition of the Goldfinch into Audrey, wow. Also, is it the first time we're seeing her? The movie started so long ago that I've forgotten if I saw Theo and Audrey in the museum. Boris following right after Audrey? That's a subliminal message. Boris is here to rescue y'all.

2 hr 16 min in : No shit Boris is freaking out right now.

2 hr 17 min in : The diner scene. They're both crying. "Happy Christmas, Potter" - which was of course, I love you.

2 hr 18 min in : No don't you dare compare Audrey and Mrs Barbour. Audrey would never drug her child or use him for her benefit.

2 hr 20 min in : Poor kid bumps into his mom lol. I found it funny.

On the whole

The movie was nice if you'd read the book beforehand. The first hour was steak, The second hour was Korean BBQ and the rest of the twenty minutes were minced beef. If you get what I mean. Weird analogy. It could have been much better. But it was really very nice in some places. Most places I'd say.

I didn't like how the pop songs ruined the mood of certain moments. I didn't like how you couldn't hear the conversation over the music playing. For example in the engagement party when Platt and Theo talked. Or in the diner scene.

Both Borises killed the accent thing. They tried their best. Cut them some slack.

Oakes deserves an Oscar for holding up this movie on his smol shoulders. I was shook at how a kid could act that well.

Popchik deserved more screen time. I'm still pissed they didn't add the Popchik Boris reunion. But then they couldn't make it chronological, what were we supposed to expect anyway.

Ansel Elgort y'all. Theo sure improved his handwriting lol. Ansel's writing is nice. He was actually good in this movie. Better than he was in The Fault In Our Stars. The internet is just mean. The critics too. I will never understand the hate.

All in all, it could have been a better adaptation but it didn't suck as bad as everyone made it out to be. John Clownery should be punished nonetheless. Special shout-out to Roger Deakins for making it work.

#donna tartt #theo decker #boris pavlikovsky #finn wolfhard #oakes fegley #ansel elgort #aneurin barnard #the goldfinch #boreo

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brokenhayatim · 4 years

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we might be dead tomorrow

[now playing the maze by manchester orchestra]

yesterday on a call, i had a moment of real possibility in having the decompression surgery. my neurologist last week said it was what she recommended and that chiari could be the cause of it all. so once i had it, they would most likely be gone, along with my headaches, then the meds i take would no longer be needed. it all hit me hard today and im feeling many emotions at this person who barely considered doing it for months. for god sake, i was in the hospital for it, a situation i never thought i would be in. (inshallah never again)

you know some part of me loves being told i have a high pain tolerance, a big part of me loves being poked with needles (!!) and loves looking at my mri’s. oh story time, the day my neurologist said something was different, aka wrong, i smiled in the chair and asked if i could look at it and went “ah cool!.” she gave me the wildest look but described all the brain anatomy stuffs to me. I told my therapist of this moment and he went “.oh...you were happy?” [types some notes on his computer] and i realized, normal people don’t do that and i probably said that badly with no shame. i wasn’t particular happy, but i was nowhere near sad or scared, i was excited. i think my dissociation makes me almost see everything as not mine. those aren’t my scans so i can be exhilarated and so curious about everything. or it could be that pain just isn’t something i worry or care for anymore. months later, i laughed bc something else being wrong with me, it’s almost fate. sometimes i wish i was terrified, but i didn’t care for it. i already had bad headaches, so what?

over these last few months though. it’s like i’ve made room in my home for it, i’ve become familiar with it, not so much comfortable, but so familiar that it doesn’t matter in the big picture. a secret: sometimes i feel really impressed and good when i tell of my imbalance issues, (vertigo), numbness in my limbs, the tinnitus and the nausea. sometimes..i wish i had more. i feel proud of myself when people have headaches, like i know the worst of that pain, and i’ve been through it. i don’t know if it’s because i want to be validated in having it or if it’s just how i am like that. i wish i could tell my sisters and everyone a whole list of symptoms, but all of them seem so useless and mediocre. i sometimes want that attention from just collapsing; but ironically, i hate being bothered and cared for with it. i found meaning in it all, i found a whole part of me within it all. i had headaches for 6 years before i, simply, told my general physician, and since then it’s been 5 (way too long of) mri’s and an EEG (that was certainly a moment). i wished, back then, i had seizures too. we called one of my pain symptoms “brain shocks” for years with that creative name and made it into this freeze “game”, and i just mentioned that two years ago in a visit. half of my identity is just on having headaches, of being in pain around people. and i’m stupidly fucking (sorry last day of ramadan) scared of losing that. i’ve taken more medications pills than i can count, and i know their purpose pridefully well. i’ve given advice based on that pain, i’ve helped someone with that pain. i’ll never be ready to lose that. i think of it and i imagine myself more empty. full of nothing.

the reason i’m writing this though wasn’t all that. i woke up and just felt this aching shame and sobbed, still am i can barely see, in my bed (so much snot). i’m so scared, more than anyone can possibly try to understand, of it all being gone. of never having to take a pill for this anymore (i still have dat mental illness so not those), or of never needing the knowledge of different types and locations of headaches. i’ve began to feel prideful in having a neurological condition. it makes me something, i have something i can tell. this is the thought that started the spiral. i feel something with this pain. what will happen when i can’t feel this anymore? what will i turn to next? what does the loss feel like? (is that corny or shallow bc it sounds so??) my therapist asked me ‘why i didn’t want to rid it?’ and i was like ‘i genuinely don’t know’ to which he replied ‘i think you do’ and i was all sIR i legit don’t know pls tell me. i made up this random guess and stuttered through it, it felt out of body almost, leaving my lips. what if getting rid of this physical pain forces me to submerge myself in my emotional pain and deal with that? i feel like i have none pls..me?? i’m chill sans the moments like this. (he also says my tether to pain is like penance, some kind of self punishment i feel i deserve..so lettuce chill bro). but the physical pain of headaches, the imbalance, the dizziness, even the numbness in my legs, i always feel something. it’s something i can remember in my head then move past. and when i remember it later, it’s intoxicatingly satisfying and i want it to happen again. i wish i collapsed or had to crawl to my room more often. i like..want to boast about it?? i remember that moment vividly being a ‘this is it’ one too. i was home alone crawling to my room bc my legs gave out and i needed my meds for my pounding headache, and i genuinely thought i was gonna die there on the floor. that moment of me hating and scared of it though is so fleeting, only lasting the day probs. and a part of me will always hate it. that’s normal. but that’s not strong enough to overcome me. it’s bittersweet.

“it’s not the same, but it’s similar to people losing their limbs, or injured so badly they’re forced to give up their career, or an addict quitting using drugs.” sure, but you can notice, you can see all that. this is all in my head. unless you see my mri’s you would never even guess. it was why i wished my diagnosis was something with seizures, at least that’s something noticeably neurological that i can recognize myself. (am i a bad person? baby no doubt.) my old roommate once said she didn’t even know i had headaches often because i never complained or mentioned it. i would just go to the pantry and take my pill as you would with a cookie. and i’ll never be any other way, and i never was. i grew up closing the bathroom door when i threw up, washing my face after crying and walking back in the kitchen to my mom. i grew up missing moments of laughter and joy with my sisters to just lay in a dark room in pain, being checked on at the some time in the night. even to this day, i will sit in lectures when my head is pounding and i know i’ll throw up soon. anyways, my three sisters were talking about one of the other’s qualities and how amazed they are bc ‘they would never’. one of them had actually gone to class, and i softly mentioned how i am like that too, i think i’ve missed three classes in my four years (minus calc bc the class was more confusing than teaching myself). i said i’ve sat through night classes with headaches and with no meds for three hours and they were like mmm. i almost felt jealous that she always spoke of her small and big achievements, and i speak of none. no one even knew my major till this year. why, allah, why am like this? what made me too reserved and careless of myself? my education is the only thing that makes me feel worthy in the eyes of others...so mine, and i never even share it. it’s that, perfect on paper, that’s how i want to be. (because i know i’ll never be otherwise) i get up in a week of seclusion & sobbing and head off to class, sometimes i cry in class (iconic moments truly, your glasses hide wonders). last year i was sitting in this three hour class with excruciating (and i don’t use that lightly) pain in my head to the point where i had to cradle it with my hands and nearly bang it against the table from thrashing, i was in the middle of the room so i did a 10/10 job at playing it off. i never went to the bathroom or even home early...because i had another class after..which it persisted in. i had never felt that before in my entire life. another day, i silently cried like you wouldn’t believe in the bathroom stall (after uncharacteristically leaving the room) then wiped my tears, fixed my makeup and went right back into class. anyways does that even matter? am i even strong? i want to be so badly. for real this time, not this image. and i’m not. i’m barely enough as it is.

odd tangent: i don’t care enough or at all about the people i should and i lie to make em feel good and feel better. i know people that love me would still, with this loss of pain, but i doubt myself, and i underestimate them yeah. i say 'them’ like i care what half the people in my life think or care about, it’s just noor and rose. i love rose but i don’t bring these things up, i don’t normally update and i don’t think i’ve ever opened up about my trauma enough for it to mean more than anything superficial. we have this beautiful relationship, yet i don’t find purpose in telling her if need not be, maybe one day. it’s different with noor. i babble all the damn time about everything and feel myself have no filter with these things. i mean, i mention noor to rose too, as if she’s a mutual friend. i care for them both. i love them both in different ways, both ways that are rare for me. rose wasn’t the first person i’ve met or cared about, but she was the first person i remember loving the way i do. i wish i could describe how i feel for noor simply, but i can’t. there was a long-while where she was more important to me than my family, even my sisters (i know, i was like uhmmm). i’ve written something, poem or prose, of almost everyone that was close to me aka 4 peeps (let’s not get wild here). and yet, i’ve written nothing of noor. i’ve written for her yes, but not of her. i tried and it’s arguably the hardest thing to do and i’m quite adequate at writing, if i do say so myself. i tried once in 2017, i stared at the screen for so long just backspacing bc nothing made sense. she’s my emotional support high school sweetheart that renders me powerless with my own words. (does that help?)

back to our scheduled program: physical pain. it’s been maybe 10 years now that i’ve made a home for it. sometimes the lights go out when it gets bad, and sometimes i decorate with flowers when it excites me and brings something new. the house is probably the ugliest thing you’ve even had to lay your eyes upon, but it’s the best i got and it’s mine to come home to. i wouldn’t give her up without a fight. and i think that’s what my mind has been doing for so many months. trying to save my home, trying to keep every symptom of pain that i have. one day i’ll have to move out or i just die in here. both are changes i just can’t seem to make. i feel like i’m running out of time to sell it and move out, to do something and get rid of the pain. and, i feel like i’m making a mistake choosing to die in here, ignoring it and having it stay or get worse. if it gets worse, i’ll need help and the day i stop feeling like a burden to people, especially my family, let me know would ya. i don’t even often know how to ask for help if i wanted it - and then there’s being cared for that’s a nope to me. i can handle every moment of my pain from all my symptoms and condition, and yet i’m the weakest person in so much. i’m not a person that fears much, most times i find it impractical honestly. i reminded myself of that on my bedroom floor last year in february, during a moment of weakness. (also yes i use a lot of home analogies in writing ok) note: i’ve been mulling through this surgery decision for maybe a year on end now.

do i wish i was scared and worried to feel an ounce of normalcy? of course. but i’m not, i wasn’t even relieved with the diagnosis that day, went out and got pizza broo. even when i thought i was going insane. because what does it matter if it doesn’t change the pain? it’s kind of strange, but when i think of all this physical pain ( is it mental too idk??), i hear this voice in my head that smoothly and confidently says “gimme all you got.” i daydream of how much more i can take, what different things my brain and body can devise before i crack. and, obviously this voice personified does this...with finger guns.

#what's good in the hood #eid mubarak to me!#asiya's thoughts

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ranthrewrising · 7 years

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Hello Children

So over the year, I have been collecting quotes and sayings so I could pick one for my senior quote. Now that my senior year is near, I thought I would share. Enjoy mother fuckers "Oh good, peaches at a strip bar" "There are so many churches in this town because there are so many sinners" "I'd love to see Jesus, but I'm so hungry" "I got the picture, now let's go before we get shot" "I had a crush on a guy once, then another guy went and shot up his house. Good times" "The struggle is real bitches" "This is not a clothing optional class" - Mr.Buttner "don't let me school you on trap music." "Girl, I got more guns than Jesus" "yaaaasssss" - Mr.Buttner "I'm gonna unlike Mary though" Mr.Buttner "I can't even do dumbass chemistry" Grandeddy "Wait. You actually do work in this class?" "You can't put your problems In a tiny backpack" “You’re gonna die anyway, so just set your house on fire and drink snake venom. "Pay attention to John green" "Cow boys have always been in use, I know because I've used them" "God I love madonna" "From the womb to the tomb" "Put down im strong as a mofo". "Guess what, you have a father" "WABAM" -Buttner "*drops baby*"- Cathleen "Old age is for sissys" "375 bitches" "Why not sexy elbows" "The best part is when the black chick starts singing" "Brittney spears is my jam, toxic is my anthem" "Beer pong is an art" "So, there was a little caesers pizza on the side walk" "It's like nanny McPhee but with drinking" "He's driving through sheets getting cheese curds, he's so full of shit" "It takes two to procreate" "I am a snan if you will" "Screw the patriarchy" "Speaking of spicy, do you guys have any water" "Living with regret is a bitch" "I could do keg stands in a minute" "Those kids couldn't do shit. I drove my mustang off the dock of lochmere" "Settle down my toasted wheat thins" "Oh no ive been inconvinced" "I must call my family! *bird noise* " "If I get a concussion. I will find out where Greg lives and send him the bill" "Let's go sit on the apron *giddy laughter*" "If you don't give me this god damn candy corn, I will eat your hand" "Everyone had lumps and bumps" "Cool beans, beans of cool" -You are a fishmonger -Well, here is my leg -Take you me for a sponge, my lord? -Do you see yonder cloud that’s almost in the shape of a camel? -Eat my leek "Attack? More like give candy aggressively" "Oh yeah? I told you not to do something and you did it anyway? Go fuck your self" "There will be no furries in my household" "Shooty shoot shoot" LMM "Oh god there are things that are happening" "Well the thing is...I don't know" "Look lady, I was on pain meds. I don't even know what happened yesterday" "Are you just being a dick on purpose now ?" "For a second, I forgot what a leaf was" "I'm gonna punch her right in the tits" "This is some catastrophe shit" "Could y'all do me a favor and make a lot of noise to drive her crazy?" -Could you stand in front of my bus so I can run you over?" "I loved Spanish, of course I had a hot teacher. God she was smokin. Damn shame she married the gym teacher" "Pumpkin pie and jack Daniels, never again" "Of course this is a fashion show, everywhere I go is a fashion show" "Well that's just you showin that you're a racist bitch" "I had mace in highschool" "Imagine this, a hot room with sweaty contorsanists" "Hell run his smart ass mouth, and when he turns around,I'll stab him" "I....I don't even know" "And Jesus was like, boi, give this man a break" "They've been gone a long ass time my guy" "Those Scottish men are very angry" "The website said I was sexually frustrated, I am going to die a virgin, so I guess it's right" “What an ass am I!” —Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2 “I am not a slut,” —As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 3 (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) “Hell is empty and all the devils are here,” —The Tempest, Act 1, Scene 2 “Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways,” —Henry IV Part 2, Act 4, Scene 5 “This is the excellent foppery of the world,” –King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2 “Making the beast with two backs,” —mOthello, Act 1, Scene 1 “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool,” —As You Like It, Act 5, Scene 1 “To tell thee plain, I aim to lie with thee,” —Henry VI Part 3, Act 3, Scene 2 (Works great for courting hot widows.) “I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me,” —Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 1 “I wasted time, and now doth time waste me,” —Richard II, Act 5, Scene 5 “Marry, sir, in her buttocks.” —A Comedy of Errors, Act 2, Scene 5 (No judgement here.) “My horse is my mistress,” —Henry V, Act 3, Scene 7 (Uh, there might be something wrong with that.) “Thou dost infect my eyes,” —Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2 “Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit,” —Twelfth Night, Act 1, Scene 5 (“Wit” is Shakespearean slang for penis.) “[Wine] provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance,” —Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 3 “I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill, far, than feed on cates and have him talk to me in any summer-house in Christendom,” —Henry IV Part 2, Act 4 Scene 1 “Now, gods, stand up for bastards!” —King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2 “Villain, I have done thy mother!” —Titus Andronicus, Act 4, Scene 2 (This means exactly what you think it does.) “And thou unfit for any place but hell,” —Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2 “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers,” —Henry VI Part 2, Act 4, Scene 2 “Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.” —Othello, Act 4, Scene 2 “Out, dunghill!” —King John, Act 4, Scene 3 “This is too long.” —Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2 "That's the same guy, he's just on a different corner. *like a hooker* he's selling bonsai, not bushes" "Team thucc for the win" "no hoochie mamas on the field" "God can't help you now" "Jesus used the vostros" "Don't bring a gun to a knife fight" “Suck my dick Confucius, because you have been declined bitch.” "He's 18 years old, that's illegal" "What's a vise? Oh the clampy thing" "You can go to a website called suck it.com" "I'm throwing fire and grabbing titties" "He kept coming like an asshole" "Us being the white people in there" "I am not a smart man" "frank sinatra is a cryptid and he gave me a blow job behind an applebees" "Which one is the salad fork and which one is the one I kill myself with" "Sometimes, I have an urge to stab people who pass the ball right to the goalies stick" "Shooting high to high makes me want to kick puppies" "I stabbed a kid in the neck with a pencil when I was 11, so I'm not afraid to stab you when you shoot high to high" "Smoke god, pray to weed, and respect women, Solomon 4:20" "I'm Mary fricken poppins!" "That happened 31 years ago, you need to let it go" "The oldest wasn't any help, she would sneak out at 2 in the morning to go horse riding" "He never called me by my name, it was either slick or the n word" "Mothman is real and he offered me cocaine in a dimly lit jc penny’s" "Aw no honey, you need to try all types of flavors"-my mother on dating "Who said just said daddy, get out" "If you ain't eat at a hooters, then you ain't shit" "I want it all" -cobra command "Luckily, im a messy bitch who loves drama"- Shea coulee "Let's change shit up!" Sasha Valour "Change the motherfucking world" Sasha Valour "Oh my god, he's gonna shit his pants" "Impress them with your lovemaking, then impress them with your lawmaking" "I have some bad news, but before I tell you, keep in mind that the wright bros could only stay airborne for 12 seconds" "-you blew it -super hard -complete buffoonery" "...tampons, what the hell is that? A wad of dry fucking cotton stuffed up there?" "Benedict Cumberbatch, who the fuck is that?"

#in the void #quotes #quote list #ryan #Charlie

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alphacrone · 7 years

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i found this post in my drafts and have ZERO memory of writing it (thank u alcohol) so im gonna put it in my queue lol

ok but imagine

Bitty comes out to his parents but he doesn't tell them about Jack, thinks it's for the best, maybe to ease his parents into things or maybe to keep the pool of People Who Know as small as possible

and like yeah Ransom and Holster are super oblivious but Suzanne Bittle is not, not when it comes to her son, because she is a certified Nosy Southern Mother and she can see he's been acting differently, happier but quieter, always on his phone and blushing when she asks about boys

and he talks about the team a LOT

Jack's one of his best friends and he's just started his NHL career, so of course Bitty’s never gonna shut up about Jack

(Same goes for Shitty and law school. And eventually Ransom and med school. Dicky is proud of his friends and wants everyone to know. He gets that trait from Suzanne, she understands)

but he keeps talking about this one Boy, how sweet he is and how his smile is like a sack of puppies and how bitty's always making this boy do things with him like baking and getting froyo and going shopping and Suzanne is like. Yes. This must be Dicky's secret boyfriend.

the next family weekend or whatever, Suzanne demands to meet this Chowder boy who's stolen Bitty's heart

Bitty is both confused and mortified

“No, Mother,” he says. “Chowder is my friend, I mean look at him, that sweet precious baby fawn of a goalie-”

Suzanne is Not Convinced

“Mhmm,” she replies. “Sure, baby. Sure.”

but bitty can’t disobey his mother, so he drags the Frogs into the kitchen and introduces them all at once

so dex is like “um ok nice to meet you ma’am” and nursey’s all “sup mrs. b” and then Chowder - sweet Chowder - goes over and hugs her and starts rambling on a mile a minute about how much the team loves bitty and gosh it’s so nice to meet you, mrs. bitty’s mom, thank you for the care packages and oh do you watch hockey what team do you root for my team’s the sharks they’re ‘swawesome hey are you coming to our game tonight i think the coaches are gonna start bitty which is So Great because bitty is So Great of course the entire team is So Great but you know we all just love bitty So Much-!

Suzanne is Very Much Convinced

bitty’s gone bright red and none of the Frogs can figure out why

so i think by this point Ransom & Holster have a running joke about Bitty’s Secret Boyfriend bc, even tho they know, they’re Major Shitheads

(”Who’re you texting, Bits?” “Oh, uh, Jack.” “Pshyeah right, look at that blush. Who are you really texting?” “Oh, my God, I swear I’m just texting Jack.” “Bro, it’s gotta be your secret boyfriend.” “Adam Birkholtz, I swear to Jesus-”)

so R&H are messing around in the kitchen as bitty and his mom make a pre-game pie or something and bitty’s texting with jack about how mortifying his day has been when, of course, it gets worse

“Dude, stop texting your Secret Boyfriend,” Ransom says, giving Bitty a shit-eating grin.

bitty goes super pale.

normally the joke is just kind of annoying but His Mother is Right Here And

Suzanne perks up.

“What was that?” She asks in that slow, sweet, unassuming way that all middle aged southern ladies use when they smell blood in the water

Bitty knows he’s Fucked

“Oh, hahahaha, just an inside joke, Mama, I’m just texting Jack, these boys and their silly little jokes, tell her it’s a joke, Justin”

so now Suzanne is almost certain Bitty’s hiding a boyfriend from her. she gets it, her mama never knew about half the guys she dated and she never had to Come Out to her mama. but Suzanne is not a saint and privacy doesn’t really exist when it’s your flesh and blood

“So, Adam. Justin. Tell me more about that sweet, little Christopher,” she says. “He’s real cute. Don’t you think so, Dicky?”

to bitty’s delight, though, R&H go straight into Captains mode

“Oh, yeah, Chow’s a great asset to the team.” “One of the best goalies I’ve ever known.” “Real go-getter attitude.” “Hard worker. Weird fear of pucks, though.” “Still. What a guy.”

Bullet dodged, crisis averted. Bitty breathes easy for a moment.

so in this time he’s managed to text Chowder and has asked him to AVOID MAMA BITTLE AT ALL COSTS WHICH

chowder is clearly unable to do

“why????!?? did she not like me?!??? did i say something???!!”

so bitty is trying to calm chowder down and suzanne’s all Sugar Bear Sweetpea Fruit of my Loins WHO ARE YOU TEXTING

and chowder barges into the haus, apologizes a mile a minute for literally Anything he can think of

“I’m sorry for not asking you if you wanted a drink! And I’m sorry for not offering you a tour of the Haus- though I guess Bitty’s already done that- oh! Did I not say it’s nice to meet you?! It’s so nice to meet you!!!”

and r&h have No Idea what’s happening but they love to Stir the Pot so they’re kinda egging chowder on and Mama B is very, very confused but so happy to see Dicky’s boyfriend is so thoughtful, if not a little...excitable...

So of course this is when the Frogs and Lardo wander in, drawn to sounds of a panicked Chowder

now bitty is on the edge of hysterics, trying to calm chowder down, trying to tell his mother that he’s Not dating chowder without saying those exact words, trying to text jack because who Else would be text while losing his shit??

and then she says it

suzanne just fucking says it

“oh, gosh, honey, i don’t know what you’re apologizin for, but it’s nice to know how polite my dicky’s boyfriend is.”

the silence in the kitchen is heavy with pent-up shock and laughter.

now. chowder can be naive, but he’s a smart cookie. it takes him those few, awkward moments, but he manages to put a couple things together - why bitty wanted him away from Mrs. B, why bitty was acting so weird, why suzanne was being so friendly

so chowder, bless his tender lil heart, plays along

“oh! uh!! well, i just want! to impress my...boyfriend?! my boyfriend’s mom!!”

dex and nursey are beyond confused; lardo has to leave the room so she can laugh

this is Not What Bitty Wanted, however

and then

enter Jack Zimmermann

bitty is just about ready to curl up in a corner and die of Shame

so Suzanne does her whole heart-eyes Jack Zimmermann routine, asking after his father and yadda yadda

but jack definitely heard everything with chowder. and as jealous as he is, it was also hilarious.

and we all know jack l zimmermann is kind of a little shit

“so I see you’ve met bitty’s boyfriend” he says in his best monotone

(now ransom has to leave because he’s about to wet himself holding back laughter)

“oh, yes, jack, i’ve finally gotten dicky to introduce me, you’d think he didn’t want me to meet sweet christopher”

bitty’s done. he’s leaving samwell immediately. already has a new name picked out for himself, is gonna hitchhike west and dye his hair brown and never speak to anyone east of albuquerque again

“oh, i can’t believe he’s being shy about chowder,” jack says, knowing that he’s probably getting himself into Trouble but plowing forward regardless. “they’ve been together almost a year now”

“WHAT.” is the reaction that comes from three different people in three very different inflections

(now dex and nursey are taking bets; holster is recording the whole thing to send to shitty; ransom and lardo are watching from the hallway)

“oh, yeah,” jack continues on, with what is probably his Funniest and Most Terrible joke ever. “after they both got dumped by their dates at Winter Screw. right, Bittle?”

bitty has his face buried in his hands. chowder is Beyond Confused as to why jack’s taking it this far.

suzanne is THRILLED

so Jack is weaving this long, ridiculous story of the Epic BittyChowder romance that never was and chowder’s starting to feel uncomfortable about the way suzanne is staring at him and bitty is going to Murder his boyfriend if the mortification doesn’t kill him first

“...which is why I’m here today. to fight for bitty’s hand.”

yup. jack 110% zimmermann Goes There.

“you’re in love with my dicky too??” “do i....do i really have to fight jack??!”

and bitty sees the look in jack’s eyes, the imperceptible nod, and the dam finally bursts: “mother, i’m not dating chowder. and i never wanted you to think i was, but chris was just trying to help me out.”

and suzanne’s face falls and chowder sort of awkwardly...runs away...to stand in the hall with lardo and ransom

“but then why is jack here?” suzanne asks,

and jack wraps his arm around bitty’s shoulder, smiling down at bitty, and bitty finally gets to say to his mama, “because he’s my boyfriend, mother.”

suzanne Freaks Out and cries a little and calls bob. in that order.

but before all of that she hugs them both tight and refuses to let go.

(years down the road, they play holster’s camera-phone video of the whole Ordeal at the zimmermann-bittle wedding. chowder literally never lives down the chirps, but hey -- that’s what best men are for.)

#when i originally wrote this i think it was before the last round of upates #so i didn't exactly know when or how bitty and jack would come out to the team #ANYWAY just pretend family weekend was....a lot later this year #this has been in my drafts forever #check please!#bittychowder #(kinda sorta not really)#fake dating #zimbits

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minholly-genius · 6 years

Photo

Talking to a stranger;

Stranger: Hey :)

Stranger: What are you up to?

You: nothin much

You: I'm on a smoke break

Stranger: I’m laying in bed haha

Stranger: I take it you’re at work?

You: yesss

You: I work at a pool

You: but it's winter

You: so nobody wants to swimmmmm

Stranger: Hmmmm

Stranger: Free time I guess

Stranger: I wish you were here to cuddle tbh

You: IF I WERE THERE I'd CUDDLE THE FUCK OUT OF U

Stranger: :D

Stranger: That makes me so happy to hear haha

You: r u in a relationship?

You: atm?

Stranger: No

You: awew

Stranger: You?

You: no

You: :(

Stranger: Hmm

Stranger: I know how you feel

You: if you were I'd still cuddle the fuck out of both of you tho

You: NOTHING CAN STOP MY HUGS

Stranger: :)

Stranger: May I ask what you look like?

Stranger: Just curious

You: I'm blonde

You: typical Aussie girl

You: brown hair

You: i mean eyes

Stranger: You sound cute and pretty

Stranger: I’m white, 6ft, black hair, brown eyes, avg body

You: 6ft?

You: I'm 182 cm

You: Idk how tall that is in feet

Stranger: I think that’s about the same as me haha

You: LOL

You: cool

Stranger: I agree

You: you sound just about a perfect cuddle

Stranger: You too :3

Stranger: There’s room in my bed for you

You: awww

You: ur too cute

Stranger: I try hehe

You: <3

Stranger: Awwww

You: fyi i'm smiling uncontrollably at my phone rn

Stranger: Really?

Stranger: Too cute

Stranger: Just curious are you on kik?

You: no sorrrrryyyyy

Stranger: It’s okay

You: everyone here seems to want social media

Stranger: I was just asking

You: but I deleted them all a the start of last year

You: becos I got into med school

Stranger: I can respect that tbh

You: but at times like this its boring as fuck

Stranger: Med school or social media

Stranger: Or both lol

You: BOTH

You: it is painnnn

Stranger: Ah man

You: are u in school?

Stranger: No graduated

You: university

You: ?

Stranger: Yep

You: wut for?

Stranger: Media production

Stranger: I really wish we were cuddling rn

Stranger: We’d have our arms around each other

Stranger: Legs intertwined

Stranger: Just really happy

You: yessss

Stranger: :)

Stranger: I’m glad you like it too

Stranger: What’s your preferred cuddling outfit?

You: tights

You: and a huge-ass shirt

Stranger: Nice

You: sorry If I pause sometimes,

Stranger: It’s fine I understand you’re at work

Stranger: For me it’s boxers and a t shirt

You: we do get some old ladies interested in water aerobics even to it's winter

You: holy shit forget the tights same.

Stranger: Hahaha nice!

You: I keep forgetting it's like, summer over there

Stranger: Yea even forgoe the shirt sometimes haha

You: I'm freezing

Stranger: Awww

Stranger: Would you like getting your back petted while cuddling?

You: yas

Stranger: Good

Stranger: I’d absolutely do that

You: can you drive yet?

Stranger: Yea

Stranger: I’m 24!

Stranger: The legal age for that is 16 here hahaha

You: same in Australia

You: but I just never got around to it

Stranger: Interesting

Stranger: Anything else you’d like to do while cuddling?

You: hair petting

You: smooches

You: wait no. just petting

You: like everywhere

You: like my legs

Stranger: I can absolutely pet everywhere

You: and my sides

You: and yeah

You: and belly rubs

Stranger: I’m not as familiar with where “yeah” is on the body haha

You: whenever I get too lonely and bored I try to look up videos of this kind of shit

You: but it almost always ends in

You: 1. sex

You: 2. clickbait youtube thing

You: 3. something ive already seen

You: 4. belly rub fetish people

You: 5. furries

You: ;(

Stranger: Well sadly only one of those is good from what I can tell haha

You: i just wanna be hugged goddamit

Stranger: Awwwwwww

You: which one??????

Stranger: Furries

Stranger: LOL JK

You: Yiff yiff

Stranger: #1

You: ....is this a bad time to mention how I'm asexual

Stranger: I guess not

Stranger: Just have no sexual feelings?

You: sorry lol.

You: yeah.

You: well

You: I don't mind, as long as I get cuddles after

Stranger: I mean, I’d only do it with cuddles before and after

Stranger: That’s what makes it special

You: I don't usually and I end up just feeling kind of used

You: awe

You: wot. a. sweetie. pie

Stranger: :3

You: glad to kno u likey

Stranger: Haha thanks

You: anything u like in particular when cuddling

Stranger: Playing with hair

You: really?

Stranger: Little kisses

Stranger: Yea

You: aww

You: my xbf used to complain abt my hair being in his face all the time

Stranger: I can see how that could be annoying but I may not mind as much

Stranger: Idk for sure tho

You: that's so cute

You: holy shit

You: ur so cute

You: wtf

Stranger: Idk haha

You: I like little kisses

You: I'm down for that

You: I mean..I would be down for that..

Stranger: Little kisses everywhere?

You: yessss

Stranger: Neck?

You: yas m*

Stranger: Chest?

You: sure.

Stranger: Arms?

You: totally

Stranger: Belly?

You: yep. alright. ok. fine. yup. im down for it

You: *although i'd probably bite you If I got too ticklish

Stranger: Hmmmm

You: ...lovingly.

You: and kiss it better.

Stranger: Awwwww haha

Stranger: What about little kisses on your legs?

You: yess

You: If I protest too much please ignore me

You: *please force me into it so I have a good excuse

You: I'm one of those kinds of people

Stranger: Hmmm can do

You: yeah.

Stranger: I should warn you you may have to tell me to stop getting too close to certain areas

You: no sweat.

You: my body is your temple

You: do whatever. just give me sum loooooooveeee

Stranger: Oh?

You: i dont rlly care

You: as long as ur having a good time

You: and being safe ;)

Stranger: So what would happen if I were kissing your inner thighs and I got close to between your legs?

You: I don't mind

You: probably get ticklish but not disgusted or horny

You: I suppose it's just sort of like you kissing my arm I guess

You: but I reckon you'd like it a lot amirite?

Stranger: I think so.

Stranger: Especially if you weren’t wearing anything down there

You: :)

You: happy to know you're happy sweetie

Stranger: Thank you

Stranger: :)

You: well...happy ;) ;)

Stranger: Hehe ;)

You: r u gettin hot?

Stranger: A bit tbh

Stranger: I’m sorry if this is more than you bargained for

You: i'm fine

You: I'm happy if you're getting excited

You: and if we did ever cuddle, i'd totally let you grind on me ;)

Stranger: That helps a lot :)

You: ;)

You: you're in be right?

Stranger: Just know I’d be kissing your neck as I do it

You: yess

Stranger: What was your question?

You: are you gonna do anything about it now?

You: because you're in bed and...

Stranger: .... yea ;)

You: hott

Stranger: You’d be naked as I grind on you, right?

You: yess.

Stranger: Good

You: if you were really nice

You: and promised me Heaps Of Cuddles After (tm)

You: I'd go down on you

You: and swallow

Stranger: Omg

You: out of love ;)

You: pls don't dop ur phone/laptop on ur face

Stranger: You could sleep on top of me the whole night

You: yas.

Stranger: My arms around you

You: I'm down

You: sign me up

Stranger: Yesss

You: are you grinding or using ur hands atm?

Stranger: Hands

You: left?

Stranger: Right

Stranger: I’m close btw

You: ur typing with ur left?

Stranger: Yea

You: I'm a leftie too!

Stranger: On phone

You: wait go back.

Stranger: Rifht is actually dominatant hand

You: I'd be cuddling you right

You: my back to you

You: and then....you started grinding on me

You: and then I wriggled around so I was facing you

Stranger: I’d actually be kissing you first

You: yesss

You: just imagine my hands joining yours

You: on the dick

You: fyi my hands are pretty big

You: wait, no they'd be the same size because we're the same height

Stranger: I’d love it

You: and if you were breathing too hard to kiss

You: I'd totally kiss your neck...

You: or whatever I could reach

You: you you could feel the loooovvveee

You: <3

Sweetheart: Yes :3

You: you still going m8?

Sweetheart: I actually came tbh

Sweetheart: Thank you <3

You: awwwww what a cutie

You: happy to help

You: you feeling sleepy?

Sweetheart: Mhmmm

You: sleepy cuddles are the best.

Stranger: Get in my arms

You: I wish i couldddd

You: :)

Sweetheart: Awwww

You: so....what are planning to do now?

Sweetheart: Sleep hehe

You: alrighty

Sweetheart: With you cuddled up to me

You: I'm sending my one-of-a-kind, exclusive, Tiffany cuddles from across the pacific ocean.

Sweetheart: So sweet of you :3

You: It's the og shit. free shipping

You: :)

You: sweet dreams

Sweetheart: thanks

Stranger has disconnected.

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