#can't really do anything except go :

[brookheimer]

the one thing i feel pretty certain about for this episode is that america will not decide the election. a decision will be made, a president will be elected, but america will not be the deciding factor.

succession can’t mimic 2016 or 2020 point blank, that would be boring and have nothing to say. it can’t try to outdo trump because it’ll go too whacky and fall flat like veep’s last season (sorry conheads, no way he’s winning). but what it CAN do is illustrate the immensely corrupt, often arbitrary, and hugely influential nature of news media and conglomerations on political processes. i think probably jimenez will be in the lead, then atn/waystar does something to, i don’t know, discount votes or cast suspicion on jimenez or call the election for mencken early, and the tide will shift, even though the votes are already in. the votes don’t actually matter. the actual result doesn’t actually matter. that’s the power logan (and as an extension, billionaires and CEOs in general) hold. shiv says it herself to logan in s4e2: “just cause you say it’s true doesn’t make it true. everyone just fucking agrees with you and believes you, so it becomes true and then you can turn around and say like, 'oh, you see? see? i was right.'” but it doesn’t matter that logan’s “a human fucking gaslight,” everything he says comes true anyways. not because he was right, but because that’s how it works. he says things and then they happen, regardless of what the truth is or what should actually come to pass. that’s been one of the key throughlines since the very first episode of the entire show when, in response to kendall calling logan out of touch because times are changing and logan isn't changing with them, logan hisses that everyone always says you’re wrong until you do it and prove you were right: “you make your own reality.” you can't miss the bus if you're the one driving it. the election, the votes, the political process? none of that matters. it was always going to come down to the roys and their ilk (allies or enemies, just the top 1%) — that was the whole point of “what it takes” (the mencken episode) last season, after all.

i’ve seen lots of theories about what america will choose and how the candidates will respond and all that and i just don’t think that’s the show’s focus; i think the whole point is to demonstrate the lack of agency, the illusion of democracy. because, i mean, we’ve already seen the fall of democracy via fascist election and fascist election-denial, both in real life and in the countless (usually mid) satires created afterwards. it would be disappointing to see succession use the election to reiterate that same point of 'ohhh alt-right ahhhhh!!!' i don’t think it’ll be about ‘fascism’ at all — at least, not ‘trump-y’ fascism. it’ll be about fascism in the broader sense, the kind that doesn't sport a KKK hood (even when it keeps one tucked away in the attic). it's the fascism that every single roy (very much including shiv and kendall) aid and abet -- the fascism that so many succession fans don't seem to regard as fascism, despite it quite literally being the definition of fascism. trump wasn’t the entrance of fascism into our political process. he wasn’t the lone sign of the failing of american democracy. democracy in america has long been illusory, trump just made it more blatantly evident with his particular brand of hate-speech-ridden masculinist in-your-face fascism.

so i think that’s what this episode will hopefully focus on — america will not decide. corporations, news media, and the roys will. thus, the president will most likely become president not because the country supports his policies the most, but because he’s likely to agree to help block a business deal for a major media empire, and the other candidate is unlikely to. and this will likely come to pass due to said major media empire's interference and influence: they create their own reality. they say it, and everyone agrees with them and believes them, so it becomes true.

#WOOF okay here's my unnecessary ~thematic prediction~ for this episode #i have some more like random thoughts ab what'll happen but those r less thought out and more throwing shit at the wall etc #but i've been thinking a lot ab this ep n idk i just can't see any other way it could be done satisfyingly -- they can't just do 2016/2020 #again. the focus has to be elsewhere. i have some specifics thoughts on details but again those r kinda random n will be in another post #after bizarrely getting a lot of things right this szn i know a lot of people are looking to me to see what i'll say for this ep and let me #remind yall that I AM LITERALLY JUST GUESSING BASED ON MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE SHOW AND HOW NARRATIVES #TEND TO WORK PARTICULARLY IN SUCCESSION! if i am wrong which i very well might be please do not crucify me. i know literally #nothing more than anyone else i'm just a random english/gov major who likes speculating about media ! that said if i end up right again #somehow then yes i am a prophet i am jesse armstrong i have never been wrong about anything in my life. etc #watch this age so poorly tho. #LOL #also fwiw i dont think the Shock etc is going to come from the election results - maybe possibly from the way things happen (i could see a #line of miscommunication resulting in fucked up outcomes etc which i can get into in another post) or a roy sibs moment but i just #don't think there's any way the results themselves cld be surprising. it's jimenez or mencken. it's not gonna be connor guys. #succession #succession spoilers #except not really. just succession speculation more than anything else #long post #succession speculation #100

[gumclones]

honestly I think that whatever the Winter King did to transfer his insanity was an accident. not necessarily something that came out of nowhere, but more… he was trying to do one thing and then suddenly he felt a lot more clearheaded

#I've seen speculation that he used the same kind of spell that was used in the main timeline to create Ricardio and I dig it #but yeah I think narratively the insanity transfer is supposed to parallel the dum-dum solution #where like. Bonnie didn't Do Anything except defend herself but she also didn't look into reversing it #and I can't really blame her for being afraid of what might happen if she did! she was little and didn't know anything #and similarly I can't really blame him for not wanting to go back to being the Ice King! #Fionna and Cake #Adventure Time #Winter King #Princess Bubblegum #original #text #gen

[soppsop]

i just rememberd adhd meds exist and now im upset because i could have that if it wasn't for that freakin neurologyst we went to see that told us it was impossible that i could have adhd because i have good grades in school. literally the ONLY question he asked me and immediately said it was impossible. we spent like 5 minutes there. he could've at least... explained something???? anything?????? and now i'd feel bad about asking my parents to see another neurologist because that costs a lot of money :((

#now im just unable to concentrate on anything and feeling very worthless #ok gonna start rambling here a bit #vent? -> #i'm just not good at anything except drawing. everything is hard and i don't think i'm capable of getting a job and contributing to society #in any way except drawing. my self worth is being held almost entirely by my ability to draw. #but i'm also incredibly slow and unproductive and it's so hard sitting down and starting a drawing and finishing that drawing #drawing is the thing that makes me feel alive and feel good about myself so when i can't draw i just feel really awful #i just wish i could concentrate and work and be productive man. why do i have so much stuff going on in my brain. why is everything so hard #sadge 😔😔 #ok gonna try to draw i hope something cool comes out or i'm throwing my computer out the window and playing videogames #oh also another neurologist once told me depression can't be caused by school #i'm pretty sure it can but idk im not a doctor #what is up with these neurologists man #i know it's gonna get better tho. life might suck but i *am* a teenager and it's only gonna go up from here. #im still learning about myself and stuff. also no school next year that's gonna be awesome #don't wanna end on a sad note bc life is good actually #and i'm fucking amazing at drawing

[da-proti-toku-grem]

venting in the tags again bc i'm literally shaking right now wtf

#god i hate it so much #my exams start on monday and i'm not even halfway through everything i need to know for my first exam #i've had all the holidays to study but i just can't concentrate on anything #i've been in my room all day every day (except the days i spent w family like christmas and new year ofc) #and seemingly i'm studying all day #my family thinks i spend all day studying #but the only thing i'm capable of doing most of the time is stare at the things i have to do w/o having any idea of wtf i'm doing #my brain won't shut tf up and telling me stuff that i know are not true #but i just can't #i feel like i've been having an anxiety attack non stop since this monday #not very bad most of the time but it doesn't really stop yk? #and i feel like i have a weight on my chest that i can't really take off #i've been going to therapy and we've come to the conclusion that the cause of my anxiety overall are my studies #(not counting my social anxiety that's been getting worse every day to the point that i don't even want to go out with my best friends) #which doesn't really surprise me but it's just Too Much #i just want to drop everything but since idk what i'd do if i quit this career i chose to do my exams #bc maybe they are useful if i do change my path #but i just can't find it in me to focus and study because my mind is racing all the time #i just want to lie down and cry but i don't even have the strength to do that #i just feel so weak and miserable ever since i started uni and every day it gets worse and worse #my mind just screams at me saying #'stop complaining all the time. no one cares. everyone goes through stuff like that. you're no different. stfu and study like everyone does' #and i know i could do it if i tried but i just can't #why tf is it so difficult to be normal and do what i'm supposed to do for once ffs.... #venting #maca speaks

[rapidhighway]

going to dinner with my dad, manifesting nothing going down 🤞🤞🤞

#last time I'll see him before the divorce it's crazy #i know im an adult now and it doesn't really do much for me but its still crazy to me #i just hope he doesn't bring up something nuts and doesn't pull some fuckin trick idk man #i don't really trust either of my parents with this they're both constantly going behind my and each other's backs #so it's a tough situation I'm constantly getting prepared for some awful news even if i can't even come up with anything good.. #except maybe that dad's cutting me off financially ugh.??? idk #idk well see #im just kinda nervous rn especially since im not talking to his entire side of the family so #ok ok bye #vent

[unopenablebox]

can you believe it took me until now to learn that angmar is in the far north of middle-earth. like well north of rivendell. i swear i really did read the appendices as a kid but clearly i did not retain from them a damn thing

#barely grasped the relative positions of rohan and gondor really. what are you going to do. i was busy memorizing songs #i'm not actually incredibly clear on what happened to it later. did the witch king try to like. reestablish the kingdom? between stabbing #frodo and running horse raids? #are there still off-brand rohirrim up there being blond and hearty? #extremely unclear to me. presumably somebody's there. doing something. #box opener #rbox #only moderately related but glorfindel is so funny to me i'm afraid #most of the other truly extra special mary sues have some kind of like. origins. extensive lineage from some also-special house founder #glorfindel like. pops up having not done anything except presumably be born in valinor and follow turgon places and be sexy #dies very sexily and dramatically of a balrog #gets to GO BACK TO MIDDLE EARTH. ALONE OF ALL ELVES #and then spends a bunch of time being so hot and special that even the nazgul are terrified of him. beats the witch-king in fights #is judged 'too beautiful and special to go with the fellowship in case his mary sue aura alerts the guards' #and then presumably just. fucks off again over the ocean. #why did tolkien put this guy in here. what was he for #peter jackson was so right to give arwen all his lines i can't even tell you.

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

Posting this on behalf of some friends, who are too damn kind to say what needs to be said.

I find it interesting that you say you used to be friends with us. You’ve done nothing but make others feel terrible by gaslighting, manipulating, insulting and spreading gossip to an entire circle of people, and those you keep in your own circle have admitted—and there’s hard PROOF of this, directly from the mouths (or, well, IPs, I guess?) of those responsible—to having bullied another user off Tumblr in the first place.

If an entire group of individuals have blocked you, it’s not because they’re 'twisting your words' and 'making you the villain'. It’s because you’ve shown yourself to be the villain. Word to the wise: if you’re going to treat people like shit, make sure they don’t have a way to communicate with each other about the things you're doing. Because, at the end of the day, it doesn’t take long for the pieces to add up.

The math doesn’t lie.

#em rants sometimes #this is directed at a very specific pair of people on this site #a.k.a. the ACTUAL confirmed sources of the 'drama' people have been going on and on about #the last few weeks have been insane #seriously? #getting into EVERYONE'S DMs to bitch about my friends? #and I DO mean everyone #encouraging people to block them??? ME????? #where the hell are you finding the time to stir all this bullshit? #I'm BARELY involved except for being friends with your victims and I've had people invading MY DMs demanding 'a reason' for blocking you #my choice to block you wasn't a personal one - it was because you made me fucking uncomfortable #i can block whoever #and seems like I was right if the harassment is anything to go by #you've been stirring up shit throughout the ENTIRE fandom because you can't cope that people are finally seeing through your crap #and the 'poor me' shtick is REAL unflattering on you #get off Tumblr and touch some grass #i'm sorry guys #i know this isn't what you're all here for #but i'm really furious about this #i DESPISE bullies and liars #and watching these two try to rip my happy place apart in one of their tantrums is so so so upsetting #they've left me no choice seriously #but they won't leave my mutuals the FUCK ALONE #STOP HARASSING PEOPLE #if they'd admit to hate anon-ing another user so badly they LEFT Tumblr #what the hell else are these people capable of???

[dylanconrique]

i can’t wait for the angst that’s gonna hit when tim hears a call over his radio that there’s an officer down, immediately ditching his post behind that desk when they give out lucy’s name and badge number to find grey to give him keys to one of the shops so he can get to the scene as fast as possible.

#*and this is icarly! #the rookie #s5 wishlist #tim bradford #lucy chen #chenford #otp: you know me so well #grey doesn't even fight him at all #he knows there's nothing he can do to stop tim from getting to her #so instead he demands they'll ride there together #oh and the way grey will be grasping at straws trying to ease tim's mind.... #gosh anything to see more of that father/son kind of dynamic between tim and grey i really love it #also it's a good excuse to mark 'crying tim bradford' off my bucket list #and i don't just mean crying #i mean the puffy red eyed snot running hyperventilating kind of cry #i just... *clenches fist* i wanna see him emotionally crumble #as if this man hasn't been through enough already i want him to go through more 😅😅 #like i truly can't think of any other triggers that would make him break down like that #except with genny #if anything happened to either genny or lucy he'd lose himself

[hood-ex]

Hi, dearie! Do you mind if I ask you a quick question? What are your thoughts on Booster Gold and what happened with Dick at some point of his series ( Booster Gold Vol. 2 )? 'Cuz I've always loved the fact that he took him back in time to see his parents again just because Dick needed it.

Ohhh from Booster Gold #25. Yeah, it was sweet that Michael did that favor for Dick. Only thing I was kinda confused about is the fact that young!Dick and his parents were celebrating Christmas in a house. Although, I guess it would make sense for Dick's parents to do a short-term rental during the circus's off season.

Honestly, I was kind of surprised that Dick wanted to go back in time to see his parents instead of going back in time to see Bruce. Only because Bruce's death was much more fresh in Dick's mind at that point and I can imagine him missing Bruce so much that he'd want to see him again. But! I feel like his decision to see his parents made more sense when Booster thought, We get so wrapped up in this crazy life that true happiness forever eludes us. For many, the costs are almost too much to bear. So a little reminder of who we are, of what we work for on behalf of others… well, it can help.

Because sometimes Dick needs to go back to his roots to ground himself, and I feel like seeing his parents would help him forget about all of his burdens and responsibilities for a little while, and it would also just be nice for him to be present during a simpler time in his life. Also, since it's been so long since Dick has seen his parents, I'm sure there's certain things he's forgotten about them (what they look like, what their voices sound like, etc.), so I can see that being a great opportunity for him to get a refresher. And now he can remember the last time he saw them as that Christmas moment rather than the moment his parents fell to their deaths.

#tbh i don't know much about booster gold in general. i've never really read anything with him as the main focus (except kinda hic?) #but yeah it was interesting how he compared the difference between dick and bruce #thought it was kind of weird how dick was like ''why don't you go kill hitler's mother to prevent his birth'' like girl what aslkdja #i feel like dick would obviously know why booster wouldn't do that alskda #or maybe he was just kinda joking around idk i can't tell #Dick Grayson #Michael Jon Carter #anon

[extra-somethin-somethin]

hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification

#god chapters where barely anything happens except a character's realization about things can be hard ... #im writing another keiko pov chapter and it's hard because well!! #keiko was never really a main focus in the series and as time goes on she gets even less of a focus so i have to fill in these spots #in her personality and views that aren't really explored. im taking a lot of liberties lets say #and idek if it's gonna read as in character cos of that #anyway im tryna say that like. pre series keiko was basically this presence in yusuke's life and he saw her as a pain but he cared #she was there to scold him and cajole him into going to his classes and she was his only friend #now we know atsuko was negligent and idk how involved the yukimuras were in his life but i feel like keiko #whether directly or indirectly was given this duty like you have to keep him outta trouble #you're smart you're mature he needs someone like you. this responsibility just kind of put on her before she can understand the weight of i #and she can't really comprehend that weight until it's abruptly taken from her. yusuke dies and there's no one to shepherd #i feel like keiko should get to be mad about this. this realization of the nature of their dynamic. keiko planning things around yusuke #who's never done that in his life. not because he's purposely being thoughtless but bc he was never the one to have to plan #to think about what their future looks like. he just kinda drifted along and keiko tried to do damage control. it wasn't fair #yusuke is keeping secrets from her she is scared of high school and that he'll die again without her knowing why and it's unfair #so she should get to be mad also because girls getting to be mad is one of my favorite things 👍🏼 #the realization that yusuke won't be lost without her so she shouldn't hinge her life on the expectation that he will be #she worries about yusuke a lot i think. especially after he comes back from the dead. and i think kuwa's presence would help ease that #dread in her heart. it doesn't have to be just me. there's someone who can be there with him always and it doesn't have to be me #the guilty relief of not having to be the sacrifice. but kuwa doesn't mind so maybe it's okay this way #idk just rambles about my fic while i puzzle out how to word it #character analysis #yukimura keiko #yu yu hakusho

[iguessitsjustme]

Listen. Do I know it's a bad idea to go into the MDL comments? Yes. Do I do it anyway? Of course I do. I'm nosy. I want to see what disasters are happening in there.

#also thanks to that i'm able to see what users are lowkey bullying people for daring to not like the show #not even saying anything bad about the show but just offering honest criticism #and i get to block them #and maybe one day if i block enough users #the mdl comments will be safe for me #but also i don't want that because it's the lowest stakes drama ever #i'm not involved i'm just watching #they don't know me they know nothing #i don't post on mdl except once maybe twice and that's only when i'm looking for information #like who is this random side character or does this have a dvd release #but boy oh boy it's like watching the world's most unhinged train wreck #i can't even say it's the gayest train wreck because i do not think the worst offenders are even queer #i mean they might be but most of them have in their bio and have mentioned in their comments things that make me go #mmmmmm you're the problem i have with fandom coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool #say you're supporting the actors all you want but you're still on the internet bullying the actor's fans #i should really get ready for bed since i didn't sleep last night

[bhaalsdeepbat]

Astarion: Finally, we're catching up on our puppet master. And the hunt ends at Moonrise Towers.

screaming crying throwing up over this line with durge and romanced astarion on my duo run. they both start as puppets, then are free enough of their former masters to make their own choices, then they both have a choice: chain themself to their master or be free.

with durge that's either resist or become bhaal's chosen. If they resist, they're marking to certain death. To be free of Bhaal is to die, and I think they're acutely aware of that. To become his Chosen is to extend the amount of time they live, but they know it won't truly be living, if they live their life in service to another.

with astarion it's to break the cycle of abuse and be more than what nearly 200 years of empathy-breaking hell - Sisyphus pushing up the boulder but make it seducing people, eating rats and insects, night after night, knowing everyone you touch is doomed to die - made him OR unchain himself to everything Cazador did by killing Cazador without ascending, allowing him the safety of his abuser being gone so he can finally start feeling and healing without the ever-present threat of becoming a slave to Cazador again.

Their romanced "bad" endings all require someone to become the other's puppet. If Durge becomes Bhaal's Chosen, they force Astarion back into servitude and make him no more than a puppet after taking over the Absolute to start slaughtering the world in Bhaal's name. If Astarion Ascends, Durge either agrees to the loss of their independence and personhood by becoming a spawn OR the relationship falls apart.

I don't have anything else to say I'm just screaming about this lmao

#bat plays bg3 #there is one single way to keep astarion and NOT become his spawn #but you have to go from Cazador directly to end-game #like you ascended astarion then went to the morphic pool instead of doing a long rest #but at that point he has no option but to play along bc he still wants to keep tav/durge near him #he's obsessed with them AND he covets their power #and he knows without the tadpole OR having them as his spawn #he can't really do anything except keep playing a role until he convinces player to become his spawn #iirc in the ending he discusses turning them and #the implication is it's just a matter of time #he also clearly isn't afraid to forcefully change companions at a future time #the thought is there in his origin ascended ending #also the other companions too have the interplay of #they're desperately trying to free themselves from being in service of gods/powers who treat them like pawns #but i'm struggling with words rn #just know karlach and astarion literally are foils #astarion #bg3 #durge

[frostbitedoesart]

Not the like to reblog ratio being so frustrating that I'm considering doing free YCHs in exchange for reblogs.....

(If you share this post please include the tags in some way. They're important. May or may not delete this later.)

#not the first time I've done free art in exchange for an extremely simple task #sometimes it feels like people can't read #they can look at my art but as soon as I ask them to reblog it #they act like they can't see what I wrote #tumblr doesn't have an algorithm. #the like button does nothing #like actually #it does NOTHING. it's just a little button that you press #but it helps no-one and changes nothing #except for making a number go up #and it's absolutely phenomenal #how many times I've seen artists ask for people to reblog their posts #just to be completely ignored #it almost feels?? disrespectful??? #like they care about the art but not the artist #you like having pretty things to look at #but you don't wanna help the person that gives it to you #I genuinely want to know why people don't reblog posts #what makes it so hard for you? #what is it about pressing anything other than a heart that feels so impossible? #whatever reason you may have #I'm tired of it. #so if you guys really need a REASON to reblog #I'll give it to you #if you guys really need a reward for doing the BARE MINIMUM #I'll give it to you. #anyway extra tags that you can ignore// #artists on tumblr #art #ych

[khytal]

I forgot people on tumblr hate toarise with a passion (it is a game I also have many issues with but it's still my favorite tales game)

#khytal.ks #I'm not defending the game lmao I know it has a lot of problems #but people hate it for extremely petty reasons imo #can't really do anything except go :/

[youssefguedira]

the problem with me and nolan is that i ALMOST love a lot of his movies (that ive seen) except in almost every one there's 1 glaring aspect that i hate (it's usually misogyny) that makes it hard to like the rest of the movie

#i mean. oppenheimer is an outlier bc there's several aspects i dont like abt that one #interstellar? misogyny. inception? only one i don't have major issues with #misogyny still there but at least theres less than fuckin. interstellar #dont get me wrong i like interstellar otherwise but like. #both it and oppenheimer have a problem of the film TELLING us that the women in it are super smart and influential! but in the film itself #they never get to show that like. when does murphy do anything really. when does anne hathaway's character do anything except #hinder the mission because of ~emotions~ why is the main guy always right even though hes not always the most qualified person in the room #why does kitty oppenheimer say ive been upgraded to housewife! sarcastically only to be cast right back into that role by the film #no matter how good emily blunt may be she can't save that she has 1 good scene and it's not that long #dont even get me started on jean tatlock in that film ill start biting. #i KNOW that parts of oppenheimer are supposed to be subjective but do we ever see those women in the ~objective~ section? no #and if that's your only portrayal of these women with only vague indicators that there might be something else going on i'm not letting it #go. excuse for writing them badly #ANYWAY #neon has thoughts #movie tag #i think nolan and i just don't get along. i think i need to accept this and move on with my life but unfortunately it's really frustrating. #all his stuff is ALMOST good. and then

[steakout-05]

eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P

additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly

#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it #and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website #as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people- #-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were- #-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered #also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it #this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone- #-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious #i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :( #i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles #it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on- #-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help. #unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that- #-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also- #-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes- #-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything'' #and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think- #-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me'' #and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point #be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying #and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child. #be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo #if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows- #-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like #trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you #social anxiety #anxiety disorder #i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11- #-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me #anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y