#my mind just screams at me saying

[s0fter-sin]

something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line

“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”

“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"

but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.

he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.

his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.

ghost doesn't let him.

"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."

soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.

he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."

the ice in soap's eyes fractures.

ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.

“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”

#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him #but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’ #after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister #but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him #hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that #so he has to balance it #and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory #if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all #reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders #and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead #only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface #he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity #instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order #and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back #and help him through the after #the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order #it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost #and its his touch that brings him back to the man #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #cod #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghost x soap #ghoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod

[silvers-starrway]

So the wildest thing happened where @mactheactor decided to dub over (if that's even the correct terminology) the Chaos Sonic animation I made!!!!

I'm still in utter awe about this like, hands down the coolest thing ever I've been thinking about this non-stop. Hope y'all enjoy it as much as I do!!

#starrway art #sonic prime #chaos sonic #okay now that the nice text for the post is done AHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! #I've been screaming about this for the last 24 hours and the shock of it has worn down just enough for me to post this #NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED THIS WOULD HAPPEN IN A MILLION YEARS???? #Sonic Prime is what got me on this long hyperfixation in the first place and I've met so many cool people in the fandom #and generally having a blast making art and it's been such a great time #so to then have Deven Mack come in and think that my stuff is awesome is such an insanely cool thing #it means a whole lot is what I'm trying to say haha #I do have to like microdose on this video because it makes me so incredibly happy that I get very overwhelmed by it #In a very good way though it makes me want to run laps outside #thanks to everyone I've met/interacted with so far being some of kindest people y'all are awesome #idk if this post is even like coherent I've been writing it in my mind for the past day because I have no idea how to even go about this #ok good night hehehe

[mattodore]

i circle around you, a wild animal near a fire

#me roughly an hour after saying i’m not going back into photoshop today: opens photoshop #jerma going no chat come on i'm not gonna do that . and then doing that #river dipping #ts4 #ts4 edit #simblr #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #THEY ARE SOOOOOOO BUNNY AND WOLF HERE LIKE THEY NEED LITTLE EARS 🗣️🗣️🗣️ #IF I COULD DRAW WELL….. KNOW THAT I WOULD HAVE GIVEN THEM SOME!!! #also if you’re thinking uhhhh river are they… you know…? 😁 they are <3 this is easily my favorite ww animation bc of this exact part #moving past that i edited these with esther in mind bc theo with long hair is kind of tearing my life apart atm too... #and i think i actually really love drawing hair strands now. all it took was giving theo long hair and i'm just. obsessed. #yeah they take me like thirty fucking minutes and i’m screaming and biting my own hands the whole time but . #doesn’t theo look good :) #and... lmao. i could’ve edited the screenshot of matthias where he’s looking directly at theo #but i like the !! sudden jolt when you go to the next screenshot and it looks like he’s staring straight at you 🫵 #it’s like he’s saying close your fucking eyes 🫵🫵🫵 #......i finished this edit at 12pm but it's just been sitting in my drafts this whole time while i try to come up with a caption dfjknkhn #i'm giving in and just using a matthias core quote for it

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i think. i need to go for a drive and get myself a tasty beverage

#anyway so being alive right. its a ton of fun through and through < sarcasm! #i love the constant discomfort and terror and stress and isolation and existential dread <3 #sigh. anyway #what is this about again? #oh yeah. floor tiles #sometimes i stare at grout and feel a little too much kinship with it. and that is All! #dont mind me just. using art as an outlet as its meant to be! #please dont ask me about this! #its very self explanatory anyway! theres not much else to Say! #floor tiles! you see! #every day i wake up and i lay motionless in bed while my brain screams at flesh melting decibels #Floor Tiles!!!! #lying on the floor asking the grout if it screams and claws at its own insides too #will keep you all updated on the answer (there will be None) #no tags posting it Late in the hopes that no one sees me coughing blood all over my own blog. Again.

[bumblingbabooshka]

In 'vis a vis' Janeway doesn't mention B'Elanna in the list of people who're worried about Tom which implies that B'Elanna didn't report the fact that "Tom" grabbed her arm, called her a disappointment and broke up with her (as Janeway definitely would have mentioned it as evidence of him acting strange if she knew about it) which makes sense on several different fronts but also makes me scream and cry loud enough to break glass.

#it reminds me of that time in 'Alice' (NOT related as vis a vis takes place seasons BEFORE 'Alice') but when B'Elanna says Tom: #'practically assaulted me' Janeway's not taking it seriously at all she says 'that doesn't sound like Tom' and I was like CAPTAIN??? DEATH? #but again that has no bearing on this in-universe bc that hasn't happened yet. REALLY I'm screaming and crying about B'Elanna's self esteem #issues which Steth literally manifested the worst case scenario of #Tom's little gesture when he gets back also goes over so well bc of this in MY mind. #Tom wanting her and Tom being with her is something B'Elanna wants regardless of how he actually acts in their relationship #(as long as it isn't abusive). He rarely puts her first without prompting or complaining BUT...he's a handsome human guy who wants her to b #his girlfriend. Ostensibly. And that's a prize you wanna hold onto. #God I love B'Elanna............ #did she tell ANYONE or did she just sit with that interaction alone??? #her not telling anyone implies that she DIDN'T go 'hey that's not like Tom! I should inform the captain of this incident!' #and that KILLS me dude...she's not like 'Something's terribly wrong with Tom or maybe that's an imposter!' she's like 'Tom said/did that to #me.' SCREAMING. SCREAMING. TOM. YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS /BAD/ WITH B'ELANNA.

[everysai]

#naruto #sai #uchiha sasuke #sasusai #it's not really them (konohamaru's clones) but I couldn't pass up on a moment this iconic jdfgfhgs #sometimes I think abt kishimoto sitting down to draw this and it really makes me scream #also I had to hunt down an alternate translation bc viz CENSORED the whole image out in the official translation???? #then the only scans I could get a hold of were really crunchy and it was a bit of a struggle to clean up as much as I could #but I don't mind #just doing my duty 🫡 #everysai #mangacap #chapter 347 #favourite

[merverelli]

just a couple of dirty bean boys!

#jacksepticeye #just like art #this was SO CLOSE to never being finished #art machine (me) broke halfway through but we did it #uni is............. going #even though im only doing 2 subjects im losing it man #i think its just ALL OF THE GROUP PROJECTS IM DOING #like my groups are fine theyre all sweet and nice but i just. #just let me do it by myself let me take 100% control without guilt let me only depend on myself doing it #im such a damn follower with group projects please itd be quicker if it was just me making my own shots instead of a second party coming in #and asking for my opinion when my opinion is always ''do whatever you want :)'' because i either dont mind OR i dont have the social energy #to say otherwise like theyd be fine with it but i just cant do it man i got anxiety of the social kind i cant keep going man i cant #i dont like feeling like im letting down other people or that theyre depending on me im bad under pressure #JUST LET ME DO IT ALONE AND ONLY DISAPPOINT MYSELF BRO CMON #the group projects are wrapping up soon so i cant complain but im screaming #besides that ive been good thanks for asking!

[itspileofgoodthings]

every day I think of CS Lewis talking about how you never know what’s going to set someone off and about how when he was a teenager he fell in instantaneous love with this girl who was putting up party decorations and said “don’t you just love the smell of bunting” while sticking her face in the bundle of it she was holding

#I say instantaneous love but I am being delicate #it just. it makes me SCREAM #I remember reading it in surprised by joy and feeling like I’d been hit by a thunderbolt #because of the sudden insight into the teenage boy’s mind and psyche #it must just be an absolute storm in there #also just. YEAH. the truth that we can so knocked off course by one tiny thing another person does and they don’t even think about #it’s the intersection of the inner and outer worlds #like your internal world suddenly being LIT UP by some external action #that catches at your heart or imagination in exactly the right way #and you’re just sitting there reeling and they have no idea #it is. one of my favorite things about people #also it’s just INSANE #Lewis loved to put private and strange emotional experiences into words #*the truth that we can BE so etc. (my stupid typos)

[sketchy-tour]

Genuinely, I wonder if my fear of being seen as annoying by commissioning oc x canon is silly or not.

I always get so actually worried that the person I'm commissioning will think I'm weird or if it's an artist who's in the fandom with me I get all worried they probably already draw a lot of oc x canon of the character i like and maybe they're tired of it

How many times can one artist draw Wally Darling kissing a bunch of different ocs before they hate it? Dksjfjkskdjd

#text post #just rambling #IM JUST SCREAMING INTO THE VOID DONT MIND ME!!!!! #like please please i kno im cringe but i just want more art of them...holding hands #aaughfjfjsodidkbfkek #shaking myself for being a lil baby even though im always saying “Be cringe be free!!!!!” but i cant help it #like I already try and only comm people who are familiar with or in the fandom #but then i get all sorts of like “OH GOD THEY PROBABLY HATE DRAWING THIS”about it #im sure if they didnt wanna theyd just...tell me? i do ask. ya kno when i do try and buck up the courage. #“Hi sorry would you be alright with drawing my oc with this guy please its okay if not haha jk unless.” type shit gjdjfjkekdjfjeke #god im embaressing

[ickypuppi3]

“doing the best with what he was given”

#billy hargrove #dacre montgomery #i’m not ok #everything he says breaks my heart a little bit more #he WAS doing the best with what he was given #dacre loves him so much i’m gonna scream #like that’s literally his boy #i’m losing my mind #fuck everyone in hawkins #fuck billy’s parents #fuck the narrative #dacre loves billy more than anyone and that’s just fine with me #the way dacre is such an intelligent down to earth kind understanding human #the duffers could never #the st fandom could never

[chaoticgremlinbrainspace]

fuck man

finding out new things about nightwing makes me go insane, rotating him in my mind at high speeds, centrifuge his ass, I want to pull him apart, see his every facet, study him like a bug. hes just so interesting to me. there's so many interesting things to his character that could be explored and delved into. things that would be cool to see. like, hes just got so many parts that could and have interacted in ways that just captivate me.

#dick grayson #nightwing #grem screams #pondering him #like this guy is on my mind for real #some things I can relate too others out of my depth but could be absolutely written well in the right hands #its probably a bit of the hyper fixation on him he just has so much to him to me ghisdfnj #he gets the "my ass hyperfixated then projected the fuck out of him #like #I am a rabid dog and I am chewing on him like a squeaky toy #there's so much intersectionality to him I want to see all of his parts impacting him in ways #I guess what intrigues me is the human parts to the super hero #like yeah yeah powers and abilities are cool but what are you as a person #how do you live #what are you struggles how have you as a person been impacted by the superheroing #like shit like that is interesting not to say I do like the super hero part I just think the two sides coming into conflict or working #together #I love action I just think seeing the impacts is neat too #idk I just feel like its cool because hers often seem so like other its kinda fun to see them combust bghisdfnj idk how to explain it weel #I dont mean slice of life either like...I guess I want repercussions and cause and effect to mean something ghirsnjef #again its weird #long ass tags btw

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Australian Grand Prix - Jenson Button(ft. Rubens Barrichello & Jarno Trulli)

#brawn is like amr to me in which they make me very weepy and emotional and unhinged #me watching the podium was just me screaming internally: JENSONNNNN JENSONNNNNNNNNN sob sob #also i spoke abt this at length before but still the jump in production quality vs 2005 vs 2009 vs 2023 is so jarring honestly #and related to that ^ what did i say about ending up with a million gifs what did i say....tho less than i expected tbh #btw this post is my comfort post in case baku is chaotic #also omg i am still screaming over seb's DNF like the way he and kubica had a double takeout ;;;; #him continuing to drive another lap with his whole ass wheel basically broken off LMAO #maybe this is bcs its still fresh in my mind but its so funny to compare this race to aus 2023 #like do you remember the kmag red flag in 2023? like one wheel popped off and they had a red flag #meanwhile in this race kubica's tires were literally rolling around the track and theyre like 'eh safety car okay ig' #es tut mir leid jarno and rubens but jb is my babygirl and i love him #i hate having to cut out gifs but i want to try to keep it to ten UGHHHHH #if i let myself be uncontrolled these posts would be like 20 gifs.... #jenson button #jb22 #rubens barrichello #jarno trulli #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1 #2009 australian gp #2009 australian grand prix #(2009: 1/17 races watched)

[bumblingbabooshka]

B'Elanna & Tuvok are unwittingly caught up in some kind of alien gameshow in which they are subjected to various challenges with potentially deadly punishments. This is treated as lighthearted fun for their captors as they're a species who can regenerate themselves and find their inability to do the same very novel and amusing. Tuvok continually volunteers himself instead of B'Elanna and attempts to shoulder the bulk of their team's responsibility which annoys B'Elanna because he's not trusting her and also their team is doing worse as a result as Tuvok is growing weaker the longer the games wear on. Eventually she snaps at him which leads to them having an actual conversation and they start using teamwork & cooperation to stay alive until Voyager can rescue them. The aliens are unphased by their escape, sending Voyager a threatening message that they'd be happy to have any one of their crewmembers on their show at any time. Patreon | Ko-fi

#in my mind Tuvok is looking up to study walking patterns #The contestants are kept beneath the stage and there's a metal grate above them where guards patrol #B'Elanna #Tuvok #st voyager #st voyager fanart #fake st voyager episodes my beloved #st voy #B'Elanna Torres #I wonder from time to time (I think I've mentioned it) if Vulcans cry from purely physical pain - sometimes when you're hurt #your eyes immediately start to water. I think they probably have a mental 'stopper' against it up to a point #(Tuvok says as much) but past that they probably do cry from pain just like they scream from pain v_v involuntary #anyway I thought of/drew this whole thing bc the line 'Pain is just pain' came to my mind and it reminded me of Tuvok #bea art tag #comix

[sirensea14]

Me with who

I trusted, Let you in

Let you see through my broken skin

Let you tell me, People would love me

Not get sick of me, Get rid of me

I know you rarely open your Tumblr from your browser but if ever you do so, well, sana matamaan ka.

#siren screams #personal rant #relatable memes #in sound mind #Song #rant post #Friend #Im slowly distancing myself from an irl friend #I couldnt help but develop some trust issues but maybe im just overreacting #I dunno #I will just.... rant #I feel like she really hates me even if she would say it as a joke sometimes #Telling me im so annoying everytime we see each other #And we're even classmates for this school year! #But im slowly distancing myself #I cant bring myself up to a happy mood whenever I need to face her #Like not looking onto her face #Of course i know everyone in the class noticed it eveb if they wont say anything about us #Cuz they know that me and this irl friend are inseparable and always buy in the canteen during recess #But now im alone #all all alone #I have two moots here thatre my classmates irl rn #If any of you two read this. Dont tell anyone #I just... ranted #Thats all #Damn fuck i want some sleep but i cant since i need to prepare for exams next week #Its 1 pm here btw #I rlly want some sleep to replenish my whole being #Ah no lemme rephrase that--i want eternal sleep #A sleep where no one can ever wake me from.

[lululeighsworld]

SIR YOU LITERALLY STARTED IT !!!!!!!!

#leigh is endwalking #leigh plays ffxiv #HE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING GRUMPY. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UNBELIEVABLY GRUMPY. #I FUCKING SCREAMED AS I WAS WATCHING THE CUT SCENE WAITING FOR HIS VOICE TO SEE IF IT WAS HIM #my poor pc like 'why is this bih taking so many goddamn screenshots' #'so please favour us with your handsome face' ANSDJV KASDVKJNASD GHOST KAL OVER HERE LOSING THEIR FUCKING MIND #HIS EYES ARE SOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING PRETTY IN THE CUT SCENES TOO. FUCK!!!!!!!! #ALSO. HE JUST PRETENDS LIKE HE CAN'T SEE YOU. AND CALLS YOU A THING. #AND HE GIVES YOU HIS FUCKING AETHER SO YOU CAN BE SEMI-NORMAL SIZED #also i love how they're just. setting up so much potential for hadesazem. #'if they truly wished to be here then they would be' JUST SAY YOU MISS AZEM YOU GRUMPY OLD MAN #'all i know is it's trouble. doubly so if it's their spitting image' HADES PLEASE. CAN'T HANDLE AZEM'S CHAOS?????? #anyways if you need me i'll be in gpose as elpis for the foreseeable future #emet selch #kalyna orben #ffxiv #ffxiv endwalker #emetwol

[dummerjan]

anxiety has been building up over the past couple days and it feels like it's winding itself evermore tighter around me and immobilizing me or as if i were a coil that's being stretched to its maximum capacity and about to snap i've been feeling paralyzed ever since i woke up my mind keeps circling back to things i said or did months ago but it's not just social interactions it's a general feeling of anxiety a shower hasn't helped i've tried physically shaking it off i keep making weird noises to drown out my thoughts but nothing is helping and i am this close to tears

#argh but angrily hitting the keys typing this out has helped a teeny tiny bit at least #i wanted to meet up with a friend for her lunch break in an hour and that would likely do me good because she's just nice to be around #interactions with her don't cause me anxiety and she'll likely just tell me about the guy she started dating recently #and while i won't have anything insightful to say that i can just let her talk #but my hair is still wet and i haven't eating and i am starting to feel shaky and there is so much to be done around the flat #i don't feel like i'll be ready to actually go out #i just want to scream and cry out of sheer frustration #the almost crying isn't because i am sad i am just so... idk wound tight and i can't take it anymore #i feel like i am losing my mind and i don't know what to do with myself #i just don't know where it is coming from and why now #maybe a lobotomy? #meins