10 examples of HC’s cat, E’Ming, being a brat:
1. Pushing things off counters such as his keys, hand towels, paperwork, and hair ties - especially when HC is looking directly at her.
2. HC suddenly fighting for his life in the middle of the night because E’Ming decided to plop herself right on HC’s chest, staring at him with owl eyes, daring him to push her off.
HC does. Except this continues to happen numerous times throughout the night. HC gives up and goes back to sleep with shallow breaths.
Then wakes up at 6 AM sharp to E’Ming violently making biscuits on his tiddies, reminding him it’s breakfast time.
3. E’Ming randomly nipping him when he’s just trying to pet her, damn it! But during the times HC is preoccupied, E’Ming yowls like she’s paid to get the neighbors to call animal services on them!
4. Walking all over HC’s keyboard when he’s trying to work. Sitting on the exact papers he’s trying to look at. Chewing on his fancy pens.
5. Being a PICKY eater.
6. Perching menacingly on the bathroom counter while he showers, staring directly through the glass door.
7. Escaping once a month, also known as giving HC a heart attack once a month.
8. Weaving through his long legs to the point HC trips when trying to avoid stepping on her.
9. E’Ming pawing at the bead in HC’s braided hair.
HC: “NO-“
E’Ming: “MREOWWW!” *bites on the braid*
10. E’Ming scaling HC’s back when she wants to be held, ripping the back of his shirts in the process.
***
1 pro that makes the previous 10 things less insufferable:
1. E’Ming is a Gege-attractor.
***
1 con that cancels out the previous pro:
1. E’Ming is a Gege-hogger.
[extra: E’Ming is a blue-baller.]
***
1. E’Ming wiggling her way between gege’s legs while Hualian make out on the couch…
HC: “DAMN IT NOT NOW-“
XL: “hi sweet girl~”
2. E’Ming loafing on XL’s chest as he lays on the couch. HC comes to join but as he leans forward to kiss XL, E’Ming places her paw on his lips-
HC: “the audacity of my fucking cat- MOVE-!”
Before HC can pick E’Ming up, the cat has wrapped her body around XL’s neck, purring up a storm. XL laughs in delight. His hands gently pet E’Ming’s black, soft fur.
XL: “my noble, gracious protector” *kisses E’Ming’s fur*
HC: 🧍♂️
3. E’Ming appearing out of nowhere to aggressively bat HC’s head as he’s about to enter XL-
HC: 😑
Thus, Hualian end up closing HC’s bedroom door every time they need alone time. Sometimes, they put on a playlist to block out E’Ming’s tantrum.
After they’re done. XL goes to let E’Ming in. But before she enters, her nose scrunches up.
She sniffs a couple times. Then glares at HC.
And sprints away.
***
Miraculously, XL has a sixth sense in catching any item E’Ming decides to sweep off the counter.
It’s their thing because E’Ming always tries to be unpredictable but somehow XL IS ALWAYS THERE!? HE’S ALWAYS READY??
IS HE STALKING HER???
XL, catching all the mail E’Ming flung off in succession: “aiya, stop! you know it‘s useless. i’ll just keep catching everything you drop.”
E’Ming: [annoyed] “mrreow!!”
XL: “keep dreaming, kitten” :)
E’Ming: [jumps off counter and retreats to HC’s bedroom]
HC, watching from the side, starstruck: “I think I just fell deeper in love with you, Gege.”
***
No matter what HC claims, he still loves and cares for E’Ming immensely. He actually spoils her to bits by buying her the tastiest food packed with nutrition and the most addicting catnip toys that she could play with for hours.
HC is also in the process of installing high ledges on the wall to create an elevated cat jungle for E’Ming to play on. When he mentions this to XL for the first time, XL raises an eyebrow and smiles, amused.
XL: “she has you wrapped around her sassy little tail, doesn’t she?”
HC, in realization: 🫠
***
When Hualian decide to move in together, XL brings his pet snake, Ruoye, to HC’s apartment.
E’Ming’s fur poofs up in defense when she first spots the long, pale creature behind the glass tank. When Ruoye’s tongue flicks out, E’Ming books it out of the living room.
Absolutely terrifying, she concludes.
But as the months pass by, E’Ming comes to accept this foreign thing must stay. It doesn’t stop her from staring at Ruoye for long periods of time, or from trying to intimidate the snake with a front-row-seat to her wrestling a stuffed animal frog WWE-style.
But they manage to get along. Eventually, it will be safe enough that XL can take Ruoye out and hang her on his neck while he completes chores and E’Ming will insistently tag along.
Plus, all the dead mice that E’Ming proudly drops at HC’s feet can contribute towards Ruoye’s food source.
***
XL’s moving in also means a boost in social events HC is a part of. Not that he minds too much because most of the time it’s people both he and XL are familiar with.
If E’Ming can be a total brat to the one who puts a roof over her head and food in her bowl, then she can be satan’s literal spawn to humans in every other category. (Excluding XL, of course.)
Cue HC subjecting his devil cat to certain somebodies during their Chinese New Year dinner.
E’Ming actually doesn’t mind HX. For years, HX looked after her when HC was away, and she quite likes HX’s scent for some reason…fishy.
But HX, in his all black attire, steers clear from the black furball who will bite him if he doesn’t feed her the special treats he usually has and currently doesn’t.
MQ and E’Ming have glaring contests. Every time. E’Ming looks like she’s preparing to attack MQ’s leg? Go on, he seethes with his eyes. I dare you.
E’Ming stalks away with her chin tipped up.
MQ is also the only one who can stop E’Ming from pushing things off the counter with one tongue-click.
However, no matter how hard MQ tries to prevent it, E’Ming always squeezes her way in to watch him go to the bathroom.
FX high-key really wants to pet E’Ming but he doesn’t stand a chance.
MQ to FX: “you know, it doesn’t help that you have dogs”
FX: “s-shut up”
E’Ming walking by…
FX: “hiiii, hellooo sweet thing!”
E’Ming: 👁👁
FX: “…pspspsp-“
E’Ming hisses, then trots away.
Right into YY’s arms.
Because for some reason, E’Ming LOVES YY. She always greets him at the front door with a soft “mrrrp??” and then rub her cheek on his legs until he picks her up.
YY holds her like a baby, rocking slightly. E’Ming immediately begins purring loudly, slowly closing her eyes.
HC: “you know you’re stuck with her for awhile now?”
YY: “yeah” *heads to the chair in the corner*
If you listen closely, you can hear FX sobbing in the background.
***
w/ @no-one-says-hi
《2》
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