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#cause i get very nervous
hylianane · 14 days
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Zoro demanding that Luffy not allow Usopp back on the ship seems to be a much more divisive topic than I originally thought. Looking at yknow, so many different sides, I think I understand how his words can feel cruel when you take into account how much Usopp grew in Enies Lobby and how much he pushed himself to the very limit trying to make things right. but then of course I have my own take away and. honestly this next bit might sound even crueler towards Usopp at first. I just don’t think that this was about Usopp at all. Or at least not in Zoro’s eyes.
His focus was on the way Luffy still needed to grow as a reliable Captain than on what Usopp needed to do as a crew mate. Luffy needed to reinforce his authority before moving on. He was formally challenged, and in Zoro’s eyes this couldn’t go unaddressed and untalked about- and let me pause here to reiterate that even though I’m arguing in this moment he was disregarding Usopp’s personal growth (as many ppl criticize him for) it’s not because he respects him less than Luffy or god forbid loves him less than Luffy- because as much as the Strawhats tend to disregard traditional rules of authority on their ship, Luffy is their Captain. And that means he’s holding their dreams in his hands. Someone challenging his authority is big, even if Luffy doesn’t want it to be, because how could he expect the Strawhats to continue to rely on him for leadership? When he’s willing to bury the hatchet without him and Usopp having even spoken to each other properly without a mask in between them.
“We’re not kids playing pirates” isn’t Zoro trying to say ‘Usopp’s actions towards Luffy were childish’ like many people think, it’s ‘you need to resolve this issue like an adult’. And though everyone’s allowed to read this moment differently, I really hope the ones who read it the same way I do don’t still think Zoro was in the wrong for asking Luffy to stand his ground properly. 
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ebonytails · 2 months
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Hey everyone! this is where the zebra is currently with the design.
It has knee braces!! I will most probably be drawing the zebra usually with them on, but it’s no requirement, for example if anyone else wants to draw the zebra :-]. I always like to make sure an animal design has official colors underneath any clothing and accessory anyway. I think this will be final! thank you everyone for your feedback!
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As a reminder, aside from why the zebra was requested for this flag, this is also just a zebra with the disability pride flag on it. It’s just a deisgn to fit the flag, with input from other disabled people in our community. It doesn’t mean other animals can’t have designs with these colors, too! I don’t mean this design to be the only mascot for all disabled people. It’s just a silly series i do of pride animals, and at the time, during disability pride month, I wanted to see what everyone wanted me to start off with for this flag!
the goal with my pride animals is to take requests and make people feel happy and seen.. that’s all <:-)
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clownsuu · 1 year
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I hope this question doesn't make you uncomfortable (extremely sorry if it does) but do you see howdy and wally as a couple? Your art of them is very sweet and I love it a lot
[looks at all my tagged ship art of them and then back at u]
yes HDGDGSH-
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pain-is-too-tired · 2 months
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One thing I like to hc with the Apollo Head Counselors is that they all represent a time of which the sun is out.
Lee - Dawn/Dusk
Mainly dusk, but pretty much imagine him in browns, oranges , dusky yellows and reds and the like.
Michael - Twilight
Starts after the fall of Dusk,short lived. Haralds the start of darkness and but also first light when it falls. The darkess time in which the sun is out. I see him muted/ dark blues,dull browns and blacks. Maybe a touch of greyish pale yellows.
Will - Daylight
Longest lived, bright, it's what most people think about when they think of the sun. With his golden sun kissed hair and sky blue eyes its pretty on the nose. I see him in bright/light yellows and blues.
Idk why I thought of posting this, I just love them and wanted to share my thoughts.
Think it is pretty obvious how I tend to draw them, but it's fun to write it out ^^
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skunkes · 5 months
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i have soooo much more i cld say abt him, and have explored more thru other doodles, but quick summary of talon's whole deal, which is subject to change still as he's only almost 2 yrs old as an oc
#oc text#obvs sparse description of the events bc i dont mean for it to be gratuitous#even if i decided to explore it further in some medium the focus wouldnt be gratuitous ykwim#not that there werent awful stuff within that but my focus with talon is also more exploration of like#even stuff that isnt a big deal (which it wasnt at first) can effect someone greatly#and then once it does get a bit worse the focus is still more on the effects of how he views himself and the aftermath#AS WELL AS LIKE. well. did i do this to myself? i went back. do i deserve this?#he's a lot like me and the reason i like the self insert dynamic is bc he thinks of cheye as Me If It Didnt All Go Horribly#bc ive not gone thru the Extreme but i have had interactions with ppl who very enthusiastically thought i was ummmm underage!!!#while they were already being creepy toward me and making me nervous abt my safety !#so this isnt ''he's umm 400 but looks 12 bc i want to do weird shit with him 😏'' dude drawing him Fed makes me so sad sometimes...#we're also weird eating buddies <3#and grief buddies <3 he actually further spawned out of my need to deal with a lot of family members passing away in such a short time#severe death phobia buddies...#i still dont know how he really feels about his Old Wrinkly Form btw all i know is he feels safe in it#as much as id love to sway toward ''he thinks he's hot like that. because he is.'' i also dont want to convey the wrong message wrt this#form being due to....disordered eating caused by Issues. ykwim#though! he can shapeshift quite well when he's fed and maybe he'd choose that form willingly if he ever got. Past everything#he does hate that he never gets to actually age...! he wishes he cld age normally like a mortal...(still scared of dying though)#but we cant knoww for certain yet ykwim. maybe he'll let me know soon.#my issue with talon other than i suck at plots is well he has too many of my issues. and. idk how to solve them.#he's growing with me.#oh and have we noticed he's mean to me when *im* being mean to me...MANY such metaphors#ok goodnite
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stuckinapril · 3 months
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i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????
#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary#bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it#so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences.#being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much#compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself#tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments.#tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts#could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably#and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist#but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think#this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines#and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before#it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person.#this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3#we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically#p
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jazzzzzzhands · 10 months
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Today is my Birthday!!!
And my gift to myself is a re-draw of my Favorite Wally picture!!!
I honestly just had so so so much FUN with this!
I LOOOOOVE lineart!!
Please actually take my Lineart, it looks like a coloring page!
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I'm actually so so proud of this QwQ
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lottieurl · 1 year
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in a hilarious turn of events the things i love most about s2 are the same things that make me worry about the future of the show. hear me out. s2 lottie is absolutely everything to me but IF they even had that planned while writing s1 the transition from late s1 lottie to s2 lottie is very very jarring. and then you have mistycrystal storyline which i just do not believe was something they planned during s1 and if they did then they handled it poorly. cause crystal should have been at the very least name dropped during s1 or something else should have hinted at what is being now portrayed as genuinely traumatic. and of course you can find ways to explain all of that. i did! but i'm not really talking about in-universe type explanation but what i see on screen and what i think IS concerning because IF they don't have the entirety of what happened in the wilderness mapped out in their heads then the characterization of the adults will always be unstable and shaky and inconsistent for seasons to come
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bloodanddiscoballs · 3 months
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I have a cold
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heartshattering · 8 days
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5 AM
Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃
#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous#and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep#I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip#I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home#(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today#and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too#BUT I also get what she meant#not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact#a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like#the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes#(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever#same with my mom's hallucinations as well#and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again#which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything#like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds#and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well#which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up#I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today#didn't eat#took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all#had too much caffeine#stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking
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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work#blocked it all out#my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer#breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries#they just diagnosed her two weeks ago#so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends#because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well#but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work#on top of my fulltime#which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it#but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this#for the coming four months at least#so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes#then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week#which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc#i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer#came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry#but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat#bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually#but seeing her anger made me see my own anger#and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic#i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more#so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise#doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal#and i am not joking#so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back
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bi-writes · 10 months
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sorry been mia. i am getting a cat (:
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welcometogrouchland · 2 years
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for the drawing requests luz dressing up as eda for halloween if u feel like it xoxox
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I ABSOLUTELY FEEL LIKE IT this was such a delightful request omg. Featuring some bonus clawthorne/Noceda family doodles because they come as a set. Do Not Separate Them
[ID: three images of digital fanart for the owl house. first image shows Luz dressed up as Eda's season 1 design, with her hair slicked back. she's posed mid-twirl, holding her dress in one hand, saying "surprise! I'm you. What do you think?". Next to her is a cartoony doodle of an emotional looking Eda.
The next image is a doodle of Luz and Eda dressed up as each other, looking at each other happily from a side view, labeled "they're matching".
Third image is a sketch page of Luz, Eda, Hunter and Lilith. It features a grinning Luz leaning on hunter saying "hey there sibling! How's my best brother doing?". She's labeled as "being a shit". Hunter looks unimpressed but has a thought bubble that says "sibling..." with a heart. Eda and Lilith are smiling, dressed as Luz and Hunter respectively. Eda says "remind you of anyone?" End ID]
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Absolutely hate hate hate talking on the phone. It should be illegal.
Hate hate hate it 😭
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androideql · 6 months
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do u have an opinion on . yakumond re: bugs my mind is in factions, warring . edmond brave, yakumo baby. BUT yakumo farm boy. edmond city kid. yakumo destroying farm pests with his bare hands? out of habit? it's on SIGHT?? but nothing scares vice captain, right? so what if yakumond just turns my trope upside down and NEITHER of them are scared of bugs. what then. what do i do
I spent a while thinking how to reply to this ask. And. OK. Bear with me.
I honestly don't see either of them being afraid of bugs. I can see them not liking them, with Edmond being a more indiscriminate "bugs have no place in this house and should be squashed" compared to Yakumo's "will remorselessly kill pests but not harmless insects."
That being said... I kinda like the idea of Edmond having a very specific weakness to just one (1) bug and being utterly fucking embarrassed about it, and Yakumo (being the anxious baby he is) somewhat mirroring Edmond's response to it despite usually remaining very calm. They can be a disaster together. They've got that potential.
In fact, I liked the idea enough that I have this deleted short scene from a fic that I'm working on and that I will be releasing it into the wild now. Mind you, it's a draft so it's way more functional that it is polished.
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“Sir Edmond, why don’t you go to sleep right away? It's already very late.”
Edmond looked up from the blank paper. At the lack of a desk, a small wooden crate he'd found here in the hayloft would work just fine. Until he saw that he'd finished writing the letter, he was not going to be able to calm his nerves enough to sleep. It didn't matter that it could be done the next morning. Why leave it for later if it could be done now?
“I’ll be finished in a few more paragraphs, don't worry,” he said, dipping the pen in the inkwell. "You shouldn't stay up longer than necessary, either. Is something holding you up?"
"Ah, well..." Yakumo looked at the lamp on the crate. It would be rather difficult to sleep with it still on, and he couldn't ask it be turned off if Edmond was still writing. "It's fine. I can wait a little longer. I'll make sure the tent is properly set up."
"Haven't you already done that twice?"
There wasn't much else left to do here. Maybe he could go outside or look around the barn for things that might be useful next morning? His eyes tried to look around. It would be rather difficult to do this in the dark... Besides, he didn't want to do anything that would be too distracting. Edmond was very particular about this letter.
As Yakumo looked around from where he was sitting, he could see something scuttling up one of the sides of the crate. He frowned at the presence of the insect. People commonly referred to those as "claw traps." They had a crab claw-like pincer and a nasty habit of biting people in their sleep and hiding in boots. What if there were more around? Thankfully, he'd had the foresight to bring some repellant.
Yakumo crawled closer to the tent, where he'd left his belongings. He rummaged around his bag for the repellent and something to kill the insect with. However, Edmond was so absorbed in writing his letter that he hadn't noticed yet. It was probably better to warn him before he got bitten.
"Sir Edmond, there's a claw trap going up your desk."
At the mention of the bug Edmond haphazardly grabbed all his things and scrambled backward in panic, spilling black ink on the wooden floor, splashing some of it on his shirt.
Yakumo's heart made a jump. He dropped his bag and reacted without thinking.
Squish, crack. He immediately squashed the bug with his bare hand.
For a moment, there was silence. He stared at his hand, at Edmond, who looked way too tense over a single bug. When Yakumo realized what he had done, a shudder ran up his spine. He lifted his hand. It was wet and crunchy, and he probably just stuck the claw into his palm because it hurt. He looked at it. Yes. There it was. Like a massive splinter.
He was more worried about how Edmond hadn't taken a single breath ever since he'd killed this thing, though.
"S-Sir Edmond, is everything alright?" He asked as he shook the remains of the claw trap off his hand.
Snapping out of his panicked state, Edmond nervously cleared his throat, his cheeks burning red. He looked aside and took a deep breath with an angry expression on his face.
"Y-Yes... I... Oh, how embarrassing... I need a moment."
With a nod of acknowledgment, Yakumo rushed to wash his hands in the basin, just the get the gooey and feeling off his palm. Now he was going to have to go back into the house to change the water. He was not about to wash his face with cold insect soup when he woke up in the morning.
The act of cleaning and removing the pincer from his palm helped him calm down and think about what just happened. He turned around to look at Edmond, who examined the stained sleeve of his shirt with an air of inconvenienced embarrassment. That ink stain was not coming out, and he probably knew that.
"Umm... Do you have something in particular against these insects? I've never seen you react like that to any others before..."
For sure, they'd been toiling in the fields for most of the day, and this wasn't the first time they'd dealt with a bug problem before. Usually speaking, Edmond didn't hesitate. He looked at the offending creature with disgust and slammed the first hard thing he could find against them, making it abundantly clear that, while he didn't like them, he could handle them perfectly fine on his own. While claw traps were unpleasant, this seemed a bit excessive.
Looking tired all of a sudden, Edmond took a long breath and let out a deep sigh.
"I don't like those."
"Ah... Well, yes? It's... not hard to see that at all..." He waited for Edmond to continue, and he was about to nervously change the topic and run away to change the water when Edmond cleared his throat.
"We saw a lot of them back when I was still in training. There was one summer when they were everywhere, wherever we set camp. They barely let us sleep. I've had an... aversion to them ever since. But I can handle them on my own next time. I just need a second or two to calm down."
The last part was a quick attempt to save face, but Yakumo wouldn't have minded it at all if he had to get rid of one of these pests again. He merely hoped Edmond's panic was a little less contagious next time.
Hoping to help Edmond retain some of his dignity for now, Yakumo tried to make the atmosphere a little less stilted by subtly shifting the subject away from how Edmond felt about these insects.
"You must have stayed within the Light Territory that summer then?"
Edmond gave Yakumo a surprised look.
"How do you know that?"
"Claw traps can only really survive there. The Water and Wood territories are too humid for them."
Hold on... Yakumo's brow furrowed deeply once he realized what he'd just said.
"How did it get here, then?" Edmond asked. And he was right. They were right in the middle of the Water territory, weren't they? But Yakumo didn't really have an explanation.
"M-Maybe they're mutating...?"
"No."
Edmond snapped at the suggestion. Yakumo reflexively lowered his head in response.
"Um..."
"Don't make me even entertain that idea." He stood up, slightly agitated. "I'm going the search the hayloft in case there are more. I won't be able to sleep otherwise."
"W-We have repellent myrrh. We can burn some inside the tent. It doesn't smell bad or anything..."
His voice was barely a whisper, but the night was already silent in the village and the fields. Edmond had no problem picking up what he was saying, or the tone in which it was said.
"... I apologize. My tone was too harsh."
Yakumo had never heard Edmond talk to him like that before. There was no doubt that these bugs were a touchy subject. He chuckled nervously.
"It's... fine. Don't worry. I understand."
With his cheeks turning red once again, Edmond let out some unintelligible noise that maybe, in some corner of his mind, had been words at some point. Eventually, he gave up, huffing in frustration.
"Tha-Thank you for handling it..."
"Oh. I... could do it again if we find another one."
Not enthused by the idea of seeing more of them, but still looking somewhat relieved, Edmond's voice and face softened just a little.
"I seriously wish we didn't... But I'd be quite grateful if you could."
#the reason why i waited to answer this was to make sure I was not going to use the scene at all#turns out that yeah i don't need it#should i put this in the main tag?#new fic coming to you...#... eventually#just bug squashing for now#i couldn't think of a good name for the insect also but it's not like i have to anymore#ok so here's my thinking process:#i've known enough people in the military to make me think that Edmond probably had to put up with some shit as a new recruit or trainee#and that he probably has things that he really really doesn't like as a result#the klein kingdom probably has a bunch of natural nuisances depending on the season#but a trainee probably wouldn't be sent out in the middle of winter right away cause they don't have those survival skills yet#so if those first excursions happen in spring or summer... then bugs are a problem#and Edmond IS a noble anyway. he was probably not expecting that many bugs much less for them to be bite-y#and as for yakumo i just dont see him minding bugs as long as they don't sting#he basically grew up in a cave first and then in a farm; he's super used to them#some kid probably tried to put a spider in his shoe once to try to scare him and got a very underwhelming response for his efforts#i do think he gets nervous when he sees something venomous especially if it moves too quickly#and he probably gets easily startled by jumping spiders if he hasn't noticed them before they jump in front of him#but that's more him being a nervous mess in general and less about bugs#ok enough rambling#i can't do concise answers for shit im sorry
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nudibutch · 8 months
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okay real talk. for those into any form of pain play and/or impact play? how do you distinguish between like. wanting it because you Want it vs. wanting it because you feel like either 1. you genuinely deserve it (punishment or the best youll get) or 2. its the best you have to offer your partner?
#i was just really thinking about this last night and....#there are some levels of pain that i really do genuinely enjoy and i know arent associated with what im asking#a good example is scratching or biting#but there are occasionally more intense things i fantasize about like being restrained and hit with an implement and at first im like#yeah thats hot#but then im not really sure if im wanting it in the same This Is Pleasurable way or if im wanting it in the#This Is The Best You Can Really Get or#in my case being stone like#it occurred to me that pain is 1. a cleaner/more distinct signal to me. nervous system wise#cause of dysphoria and whatever fucking else is going on with my body a lot of pleasure just gets lost in translation#but pain is like ok point of contact direct to brain#and also like. i would express more. outwardly. obviously. with pain#and i dont know if me wanting that is my brain trying to say#well if you cant really give your partner an expression of pleasure#your dick is fake you cant feel that very well and otherwise touches are very hard to translate to arousal#then the better you Can give them is. your pain#and idk if im overthinking it or what or if like#my brain is saying oh well if you cant feel it tender even though you want to you Want to feel it tender#guess youll have to feel it rough instead#which im not sure i.... like#anyway. if you made it this far. thanks for reading HAJDKGKH#my inbox is open if u have comments suggestions insight etc.#slug.personal
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