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amatres · 1 year

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I know you have to choose the option but the farewell conversation that sticks most in my head in the Gallows is with Carver where Hawke can say something along the lines of 'This is how we're supposed to be, side by side' and he tells them they know it can't be like that forever.

Like, my Hawke at least spent so much of her life building her identity in service of her family. Hawke most resembles their father no matter what, and the family is shaped around them narratively (if you're a mage or not deciding which sibling you lose first and how that class effects how those siblings feel about themselves and their place in the family) and they shape themselves around their family in turn, exist for them, takes up the role of leader after Malcolm has passed. The answers of where Hawke considers home when they're asked never felt right, because they lived on the run for so many of their formative years, the true answer feels like to me to be their home is their family, the place never mattered beyond being allowed to rest and not look over their shoulder every day.

What happens to that identity when everyone you built it around is gone? Where would they consider home when it's all said and done? The Amell estate was something they got for their mother, one of the answers they can give to Varric in Act 2 on what they plan to do now is watch over their mother, Carver tells Hawke to look after her when the expedition separates them. Then their mother is gone too.

There's no final statement for this since it's just me rambling, but it's hm, sad to think about. Who is Hawke if they aren't living for the sake of another, when all those they lived for are gone and they never felt at home anywhere but in the people they surrounded themselves with?

#ama mumbles #dragon age #dragon age 2 #hawke #allyn hawke (oc)#im not writing meta this is just me rambling thoughts specifically born from trying to figure out allyns uhh problems lol #by act 3 the answers is probably their companions but eventually everyone leaves their side besides their possible li #so what do they consider home who are they when they are truly alone #my hawke is a mage which also shapes this perspective i dont know how it affects nonmage hawke #anyway carver was right and valid to want to find an identity separate from the family #bc like look how his sibling destroys themself trying to shape themselves around it #as for my own hawke id say she felt most content in lothering she briefly was feeling the same in kirkwall in act 2 but when leandra dies #part of her dies with her i suppose. shes the champion of kirkwall and its a death sentence bc shes a mage so she decides #to try and help at least make the world a bit more comfortable for any mage that comes after her #allyn and anders in act 3 shaking hands over being suicidal and throwing themselves into at least making it mean something #by helping ppl like them maybe having a better life #on that point the chantry explosion didnt feel like a axe to allyn it felt like a release. finally the hold of this place has lifted #if that makes sense lol. kirkwall was only for her mother now that shes gone allyn was waiting for an end to her stay there and it came #back to being on the run. something that felt more natural to her. maybe one day she will have a small farm again #or maybe she will live in a city with a garden if the people she surrounded herself wanted to live there #just somewhere that the noose of her family's ghosts were no longer strangling her

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sage-nebula · 2 years

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PKMN — Consolation

Notes: JN117 made me sad, especially since no one comforted Iris when she started crying. In my sadness I was struck with this idea, and so I decided to write a little tag for the episode to make myself feel better. This was written with the idea in mind that the battles don't actually happen one right after the other, but that instead there is time between the matches to reset the arena / give the next opponents time to prepare / etc.

Summary: After her loss to Cynthia in the Masters 8, Iris receives a gift from one of the last people she would have expected. [Gen, Friendship]

— — —

The grass beneath Iris’ knees was as warm as the sun that filtered through the leaves above her head, but as she scrunched the blades of grass between her fingers to feel the dirt under her fingernails, it still wasn’t enough to stop her choking—from tears or the stench of car exhaust in the air, she wasn’t sure.

Wyndon had many little parks like this throughout the city—little patches of greenery interspersed between the paved streets and aging concrete buildings. When she’d first arrived, Iris had thought it nice that they hadn’t completely walled their city off from nature, that they’d allowed some trees to grow and grass to flourish. But now, fresh from her televised first-round defeat, it didn’t feel like enough. She hated the city. She wanted to run, to sprint into Galar’s wild area and not look back. She wanted to climb into the clustered boughs above her, but her Champion dress made it impossible. She swallowed hard against another sob and pressed herself closer to the tree trunk beside her. Ash’s battle was going to start soon. She needed to go cheer for him, just like he’d cheered for her. But going back to the green room would mean seeing everyone again—would mean seeing Diantha and Cynthia, and for them to see her like this, fresh from a loss and eyes red-rimmed because she couldn’t stop herself crying—

Iris sucked in another shaking breath, and pressed her sleeves into her eyes.

No, she couldn’t face them like this. She couldn’t. But she had to. She was Unova’s Champion, and Champions didn’t fall to pieces just because they lost a match. She was Unova’s Champion, and Ash’s friend, and so she had to go back to watch the next match and cheer for him and put her best foot forward—

“Excuse me—can I sit here?”

Iris jumped, the fabric of her dress catching on the rough bark of the tree and her feet tangling in her skirts as she scrambled around to locate the source of the voice. Standing a foot from her and looking down at her with an inscrutable expression and a cylindrical object cradled in his arms was Leon’s opponent from the first round of the tournament—Alan, from the Kalos region. “How—why—what are you doing here?”

Instead of answering her question (though Iris supposed she hadn’t answered his), Alan took a seat opposite her, sitting criss-cross-applesauce with the cylinder held in his lap. He was quiet for a moment, looking down at whatever it was he was holding, before he lifted his eyes to meet hers. “Your battle was incredible. The bond you have with Haxorus is amazing.”

So that was it. He felt bad for her. He wanted to make her feel better. She didn’t know why—they had barely said two words directly to each other in the green room—but Champions didn’t spurn praise even when it came with a reminder of their dreams being crushed on international television. She pressed her lips together so he wouldn’t see them tremble, blinked to stop her tears from falling, and forced a smile. “Thank you. Your battle with Leon was great, too.”

Something of a smile flickered across his face, and he laughed softly. “It didn’t go the way we wanted it to, but that’s all right. It gives Lizardon and I something to work toward. We’ll make it back here someday.”

It was the same kind of PR-speak that Drayden had taught her when she won her title from Alder. Be gracious, be humble, remember that you carry the pride of the region on your shoulders. But Alan wasn’t Kalos’ regional Champion—Diantha was—and they were sitting alone, besides. He didn’t have a reason to put a front up for her . . . so maybe he was just like that.

“But the reason I came out here,” Alan continued after a beat, “is because I wanted to give this to you.”

“What is . . .” Iris’ voice caught in her throat as Alan set the cylinder between them on the grass, her eyes widened as the sunlight finally hit the glass just right. “Is that a pokémon egg?”

It was, and she didn’t need Alan’s nod to confirm it. She hadn’t paid it enough mind before, given that Alan had just about startled her out of her own skin when he approached her, and so her attention was caught between trying to stop her crying and figuring out just what he was doing out there. But now that the cylinder was sat between them, she saw it for what it really was: an incubator, with a pokémon egg nestled inside. The egg was light blue in color with grey and yellow spots, and sat on a dark blue cushion.

“I had Professor Sycamore send it to me after your match,” Alan said. “A friend of mine gave it to me just before the tournament to help my research. But I think you should be the one to hatch and train it.”

Iris blinked, and tore her eyes away from the egg to look back at Alan. “What? But—why? If your friend gave it to you—and you don’t even know me.”

Once again, Alan’s lips quirked upward in a little smile. “Not personally, no. But I saw your battle, and the bond you have with your pokémon. You have a real connection with them. You battled with them, so I know you would raise and train this one with the care it needs. And I’m also sure that . . .” Alan fished something from the travel bag slung around his waist. “. . . you will be able to use these.”

“What—” Once again, Iris’ jaw fell slack as she beheld the two shining stones in Alan’s open palm, one sparkling with rainbow hues and the other white with a red and blue double helix in the middle. “A Key Stone?”

“And Salamencite.”

“So then—this egg is—”

“A bagon, from the Draconid clan in Hoenn.”

Iris felt as if someone had used Twister on her brain. She shook her head to clear it, and once more looked up to meet Alan’s eyes, scrunching her dress in her fists.

“But why?” she asked again, and as he opened his mouth quickly said, “I—It’s not that I’m not thankful for the offer, but I don’t understand—we don’t even know each other, and this is all so . . . it’s so much.”

Alan lowered his hands back to his lap, and rolled the stones between his fingers. He studied them for a moment, quiet, before he finally gave his answer.

“I’ve been studying mega evolution for years now, both in theory and in practice. There is still so much about it that we don’t understand—so much that has been lost to time, but so much to still discover, too. But one thing I’ve learned, that many still don’t understand, is that mega evolution is not about power. It is powerful, yes—but it’s only as strong as the bond between the trainer and their partner pokémon. The stones facilitate the transformation, but they don’t cause it, not really. The trust and belief in each other that the human and pokémon share—when their hearts and souls are one, that’s when true evolution becomes possible. That’s when they are able to surpass their limits. It’s not about power. It never has been. It’s about trust, and love.” Alan looked up, and met her gaze. “And that’s what I saw between you and your pokémon today.”

Iris was sure that the city of Wyndon was still noisy. She was sure that there were still car engines roaring and horns honking, and music blaring from the speakers to keep the audience in the stadium entertained before the next battle started. But for a brief moment, she couldn’t hear any of it. All she could hear was the wind breathing through the leaves above their heads, and her own heart thrumming in her chest.

“So,” Alan said, and he once again extended his hand toward her, Key Stone and Salamencite glittering in his palm, “will you accept the Key Stone and Salamencite?”

Iris reached out, her fingers brushing against the stones in his open palm, but stopped herself just short of taking them. “You’re sure? You’re really sure?”

Alan nodded. “Positive.”

A smile, unbidden and free for the first time since she had left the arena, broke across Iris’ face, and when she nodded, Alan met her grin with one of his own. She cupped her hands and he tipped the jewels into them; they felt as smooth and cool as stones from a riverbed.

“Thank you,” Iris said, and she slipped the stones into a hidden pocket on her dress. “I’ll treasure them, I promise.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Alan said. “But, if it’s not too much to ask . . .”

Iris raised her eyebrows. “What is it?”

Alan nodded toward the bagon egg. “When this little one is all grown up, and you’ve mastered mega evolution . . . would you have a battle with me?”

Iris beamed, and pulled the egg’s incubator onto her lap. “Of course! Definitely! I can’t wait!”

Alan grinned. “Neither can I.”

#pokemon #pokeani #champion iris #champion alan #trainer alain #fic fix #if the pokeani won't let my favorite M8 trainers interact despite them being in the same room then I will do it my own self #even tho I have not written anything in actual ages #and have not written anime!Iris ever in my life aside from one little chat meme thing #and even writing for Alan felt hard? agh #please be gentle this took over 2 hours despite being so short #i did my best tho & that's what matters most #anyway #Zinnia: ''hey has that bagon egg hatched yet? how's it doing?''#Alan: ''oh I gave that to Champion Iris of Unova''#Zinnia: ''u what''#also that's my hc for why Alan is using keigo w/ Steven now . . . the Delta Ep AU i came up with happened btwn #XYZ & JN . . . & so Alan is using keigo w/ Steven bc he's still upset abt the infinity energy & is like #being formal w/ him bc from his end They Are Not Friends Right Now #not in like a ''omg i hate u'' way but in a ''i can't deal w/ this right now so I'm going to treat u like i would a stranger'' way #meanwhile Steven doesn't want that to be the case so he's like . . . Extra Pretending Nothing Has Changed & like . . . making a Point #to talk to Alan / bring up things he KNOWS Alan will respond to . . . but inside he hates this situation #anyway none of that's canon but that's how I'm headcanoning the situation rn lol #(Zinnia wouldn't be mad btw just bewildered. like ''I thought you wanted to raise a Salamence for your research'')#(''I'm not giving you another one")#(that's a lie she would if he asked lol)#anyway here's this #anipoke spoilers #pokeani spoilers

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