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yuri-is-online · 4 months

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Just rewatched twilight! It's worse than i remember!

Why does Bella twitch so much?

Why does Bella blink so much?

Why does Bella deliberately ignore the red flags?

Why is Edward exhaling every line?

Why does he always look so constipated?

Why is Edward so God damn creepy?

Oh go I am so glad you gave me an excuse to say more about Twilight.

95% of the movie is close ups of the actor's faces. And all the main couple does is stare at each other in a field and talk about how Bella wants to be a vampire. They don't go out on dates, they don't talk about hobbies, they just don't do a n y t h i n g. For some goddman reason all of New Moon takes place in the woods for no real reason because I don't know if any of the characters like being in the woods. Neither Bella or Edward have personalities, Jacob has one but the author gets in the way of it because she has an agenda. She wants Edward and Bella to be together at the end of the series so she has to give all the complicated parts of humanity to her side characters so they don't get in the way of that.

I watched the movie with two friends of mine and we were trying to brainstorm ideas on how to fix it and we kept coming back to how boring the over all premise is. My one friend was less interested in the romance and more interested in the world building, the other wanted Alice and Jasper to form a polycule with Bella, but we all wanted Bella to have... something. Interests, hobbies, a fucking reason to be in the woods. My proposal was that she's really into bugs and is always out there collecting beetles and shit, she just needs to have an interest other than Edward but again. If she has those it gets in the way of the author's main goal.

#<3 asks #our other ideas included: 1 bella actually gets over edward in new moon when she realizes she likes being an adrenaline junkie #and gets together with jacob but still goes to save edward and actually break things off in a mature manner #2 bella gets turned by the volturi in new moon and it causes a bunch of problems with the wolf pack back home #3 bella stays together with edward and jacob imprints on the evil pain vampire played by dakota fanning and it's real awkward for everyone #4 bella alice and jasper polycule means edward and jacob get together idk they had more chemistry than they did with bella #oh and finally not a fix it note #but the vampires are so painfully Mormon it hurts me to watch

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jonahmagnus · 1 month

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Whenever a fandom person mentions disliking a black character I instantly get suspicious. Like oh..... you think that their so much more annoying then all the other characters? Why.....😐

#This is about Reeve from the Hollow. LEAVE HIM ALONE????????????#None of you understand . none of you Understand him .#'hes sooo irrational and annoying' ???? SO IS ADAM???? Thats the point?? they have history?? Its a problem they BOTH HAVE??#and clearly have to work through TOGETHER???? And also side note. with you people making Mira the therapist. Stawp!#anyways this is also why kaiadam fans piss me awf. What the fuck are you talking about. Their chemistry is ONE 10TH of what reeveadam have #1 drop of water. vs. the ocean.#personal #tag

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azol-otl · 1 year

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Not Reverse Robins or Scrambled Birds but a secret third thing: A Step to the Left.

Not Dick > Jason > Tim > Steph > Damian,

but Jason > Tim > Steph > Damian > Dick*.

But not only them. Every sidekick with a legacy name gets shifted one spot. (No I’m not counting the Golden Age because I’m not combing through that ).

This means that Jason’s Titans team is him, Mia (Speedy), Jackson (Aqualad), Cassie (Wonder Girl), and Bart (Impulse but y’know he was KF II in the comics).

The NTT team including Starfire, Changeling, Raven, and Cyborg stays the same since they’re the only ones with those names. Cass gets lumped in here because Jason actually wants to do college/is becoming disillusioned about cape life and the idea of Kori learning Cass's body language is too good to pass up.

Tim gets one (1) cape friend (because Jason only got one) and it’s Zachary Zatara because it has to be a d-lister who deals with that disaster Teen Titans era.

Stephanie gets Jon (Superboy), Yara (Wonder Girl II now), and Irey (Because guess what it’s Impulse on the team and not KF which means we get Impulse II). Secret, Cissie, Anita, Slobo etc. all stay the same.

Damian doesn’t get anyone until he becomes Batgirl.

Duke literally gets Damian’s exact canon team but it’s Kon instead of Jon and probably won’t end with them committing war crimes.

If the character in that placement dies in canon then the new character in that placement also dies (i.e. Jason dies so Tim will die/ Kon dies so Jon will die).

But there will be changes because these are different characters so not all of them would react the same.

For example, Jason and Cass are the first Robin and Batgirl, but Cass becomes Nightwing while Jason becomes Oracle because I feel like Jason generally fits Barbara’s character better than Cass does (which is a fucking shame because Oracle being someone named Cassandra should be a no brainer but yeah).

Or how Barbara should be Batgirl number three, but it’s actually Damian because Cass would see their similarities between them and offer him Batgirl (which he refuses at first but after his disastrous run as Robin he sees how Batgirl would fit his strengths better).

Also I refuse to believe that Jason and Cass would let Dick out as Robin so young so he’s benched until later and his place is taken up by Duke and instead of Leviathan it’s Gnomon.

#I actually have a lot of thoughts about this but I didn't want to word vomit it all up like I normally do #No lie Damian becoming Batgirl III was not planned but because it started off with Cass it honestly felt right #So now him and Stephanie parallel each other so much more than I planned with the whole 3 identities cycle of Original > R > BG> OG #Also Robins 1 3 and 5 (the ones who were actually focused on for a time) are all Gotham natives with strong ties to the people #So that feels right #Also also Mia and Jason both being on the same team and having similar traumas while comics were finally starting to tackle these things #Tim has to deal with all the shit Jason did including starting off as a Blonde Jason clone (hey Timmy Todd)#Being victim blamed for his death for nearly 20 years and brought back as a villain #Then left with writers who hate him and made him ugly *and* stupid #then left with Lobdell and having the fans of his teammates blame him and his fans for things that they had no control over #other notes I didn't put in include Cass's cover is that she's Jason's cousin via Willis who was adopted and it turns out to be true #Stephanie 'Ambiguously Gay' Brown with her team full of Women who can crush her like a bug #Cass 'Are you sure she's straight' Wayne and her Gal Pal Koriand'r #Jason and Bart's wild 50 years where they surprise everyone including the writers and editors #since none of their love interests stuck but the chemistry they had with each other was off the charts #so their friendship read more as a slow-burn annoyances to friends to lovers that was totally on purpose guys and became canon p52 #like right before the reboot because the writer was like "Fuck it we're rebooting anyways!#if you feel like it's unfair that Tim and Damian gets no friends remember that I didn't shift teams at all only the people in them #so they get dealt Jason and Stephanie's canon hands #Don't come at me with 'uhm Robin is DICK'S nam'e' that retcon happened 50 years after the character #I can do the exact same with any character #great another essay in the tags #azol's posts

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yepthatsacowalright · 2 years

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youtube

Finished watching this discussion about on stage chemistry/kissing/intimacy (which @hamish-linklater-btc posted on Instagram - thank you so much for finding/sharing!!) and it is so freaking fascinating to me.

Hamish has good thoughts and funny stories as usual, but to be honest I found the three women to be the most interesting to listen to, particularly Esther Perel, the woman in the middle, who is a couples/sexuality psychologist.

I kept pausing and going back to relisten to literally everything she said because every sentence blew my mind. (“In sexuality and in kissing lies two opposites, disgust and delight, depending on how it takes place.” “That’s why people go and find other lovers in the first place. Not so much because they’re looking for another person, they’re looking for another self.” And when she says something about how a long successful marriage is really like a series of different marriages with the same two people. Like 🤯. This woman’s brain is huge.) I’m now devouring a bunch of Esther’s articles and podcasts because she’s so incredibly good at articulating aspects of emotions and relationships that I know I’ve felt, but I’ve never known how to put into words.

Actors, writers, and psychologists talking about intimacy together is something I have craved because to me those three fields of study are so necessarily intertwined, but for some reason aren’t often brought together for discussions and things like this. I know people are worried about embarrassing themselves discussing it, or that they’re going to take the magic out of it and people won’t find the scenes as sexy to watch anymore....but the psychology of it!! Is so!! INTERESTING!!

#being a fan hamish linklater has been and continues to be the wildest ride #he's like a gateway drug to all these other topics i've been interested in for years but haven't been able to find out much about #a couple things of note regarding this discussion though:#the sound is super inconsistent depending on who's talking #so be prepared to adjust the volume often #also one of the audience questions at the end is a kinda weird and irrelevant question about child abuse?#and the psychologists do a great job of interpreting it in a way that is more appropriate to the discussion at hand #but it is odd #so be prepared to skip over that bit if you feel like you need to #(question starts to be asked at the 1:01:08ish mark)#hamish linklater #esther perel #kathleen chaufant #sarah ruhl #anthony charuvastra #on kisses and chemistry #acting #writing #sexuality #intimacy #kissing #psychology

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annie-is-growing · 1 year

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mid-day update | 26. 02. 2023

i completed studying and revising haloalkanes and haloarenes from organic chemistry and completed writing my fair notes for the chapter.

i'll be moving on to study the 'reproduction unit' in biology starting with plants. hopefully, once I'm done with that unit I will have time to complete the electrostatics unit in physics and solve a calculus worksheet.

listening to : cardigan by taylor swift

day 1/100

#annie is studying #annie studies #studyblr #desi studyblr #study notes #organic chemistry #biology #board exams #day 1

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thursdayg1rl · 2 years

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omg I was getting so worried abt how im gonna cover everything in time for the exam but I just realised that the advance information took out so much stuff

#I can finish my paper 1 biology notes even today if I really want to #i think for today i'll just finish organisation then do a past paper then make some chemistry paper 1 notes #if i have time after that i can do English lit

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ace-with--a-mace · 5 months

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school in 48 hours ,,,,,,

#threw up in my mouth i have 6 out of 7 classes of hw i was supposed to do during break #and tbh jts my fault that i didnt do then like where did my time management skills go #but also??? its break??? the time to relax and spend time with family???#why do i have to 1. sew 2. do 40 multi step math problems 3. make an asl presentation cuz the teacher genuinely doesnt teach #elaborating on 3 like ik ppl say teachers dont teach BIT HE DOES NOT TEACH #the entire year was students making asl presentations to share with the class. he has yet to teach us 1 sign #4. 3 notes outlines cornell note style that span over 2 units #5. read my psych textbook from Cambridge for my quiz monday #6. do the same art assignment ive done since 6th grade except on 18x12 paper.#by monday #like crew please consider that i like a break and i wanna see my family #even without the hw i was slaving away cleaning the house and cooking and baking nd being stressed #my life does not revolve around precalc or chemistry or ap world history i want to sleep !!!!#l speaks #shut up l #ranting in the tags because i can #and rhen im breakinf out and my period is a week late and i have migraines and my braids arent straight and my face isnt my face and #its too much i need to clock out of life guys im so sorry.

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star-mum · 6 months

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is just me and the Ouran Host Club agains the world fr fr

#my comfort anime #everything about it is just pretty pink and sweet #from the opening to the ending theme #i am tired overworked and stressed : D #which is just my regular state at this point #i feel the sudden urge to rewatch all my 2016 favorite animes #aka the first animes I watched knowingly #black butler i am coming baby #which is worrying... i think maybe a lil #like I dont think I wasnt in The Greatest mindset when i was knees deep in the BB fandom #granted i dont think ive ever been in a Good mindset #Funny my two biggest comfort animes are OHSHC and Death Note #cause 1. literally opposite aesthetics and plots #2. Mamoru Miyano what dID YOU DO TO MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY (va for light and tamaki)#anyways if you hadnt guessed by now #i have a project to be working on aND YES IM STALLING #anyways kiss fall in love #stay safe out there in those gardens of romance or whatever

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er-cryptid · 5 months

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Beryllium

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jmose · 1 year

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GRADE 6 TERM 2 SCHEMES OF WORK 2023 FREE DOWNLOAD

GRADE 6 TERM 2 SCHEMES OF WORK 2023 FREE DOWNLOAD Elimu Centre provides All termly Examinations and answers in Form 1, Form 2, Form 3 , Form 4 and KCSE Mocks with Answers Here for Free Download, TSC Updates and Daily News GRADE-6-TERM-2-ENGLISH-SCHEMES.docx GRADE 6 TERM 2 HOME SCIENCE SCHEMES GRADE 6 TERM 2 MATHEMATICS SCHEMES GRADE 6 TERM 2 MUSIC SCHEMES GRADE 6 TERM 2 PHE SCHEMES Elimu Centre…

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#2022 MOCKS #2023 MOCKS #ALL MOCKS #BOLOGY NOTES #BUSINESS NOTES #CHEMISTRY NOTES #COMPUTER NOTES #EXAMS FORM 1-4 #GRADE 1 SCHEMES #GRADE 2 TERM 1 SOW #MERU MOCKS #MOKASA MOCKS #PANGANI POST MOCK 2022 #REVISION BOOKLETS #SECONDARY NOTES

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norrizzandpia · 7 months

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The Video (Part 2) (LN4)

Summary: They’ve taken leaked videos to a whole new level.

Warnings: its a sex tape so that, sexual conversations, language, explicit

Note: when i was trying to come up with a part 2 for the video i literally couldnt think of anything until i was half asleep and this came to me and i was like THATS IT 🤓☝🏻(part 1 is here)

TWITTER

mclarensgirly woke up today and saw “lando norris y/n y/l/n sex tape” trending and thought it was a joke so i clicked on it and GOOD GOD IT WAS NOT A JOKE

- ln4andop81 my jaw DROPPED when it surfaced

- mclarenfan22 anybody watch it??

- mclarensgirly yeah ofc who do you think i am

- ln4andop81 YES.

- f1fan2 you bet your ass i grabbed my popcorn and STUDIED that vid

- mclarensgirly i had an idea lando was dirty but BROOOOOOO

- ln4andop81 its even hotter that the camera isnt propped up somewhere its literally being filmed by lando as he goes in from the back

- f1fan2 I LITERALLY STILL CANT WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT LIKE HIS VOICE WAS SO CLOSE TO THE MICROPHONE AND YOU COULD HEAR ALL HIS MOANS AND THE SHIT HE WAS SAYING TO HER

- mclarenfan22 “you like being fucked from behind baby?” I CEASED TO EXIST.

- ln4andop81 WHEN HE WENT FASTER AND SAID “fuck baby so tight” 😩😩😩

- f1fan2 the way he gripped her hips so he could go harder>>>>

- mclarenfan22 this video has literally altered my brain chemistry.

—

y/nnn yeah ofc we have sex… look at him.

Comments:

danielricciardo HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

- landonorris shut tf up

- y/nnn let him laugh its fine im getting good dick

- danielricciardo im no longer laughing.

mclarenfan22 SHES SO REAL OMFG

Landos-lover1 slut behavior

- y/nnn stalker behavior babes, youre not his lover, i am 💋

- mclarensgirly oh how i wish to be as unbothered as her

- f1fan2 SHUT. DOWN.

landonorris this was not the planned statement we talked abt 🥲

- y/nnn planned statement my ass we were having good sex let them wish they were us

- ln4andop81 she understands the lando girlies to a level that makes me believe she once was one of us too

- y/nnn OH HELL YEAH I WAS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE WAS MY CELEB CRUSH FOR YEARS BEFORE WE STARTED DATING

- ln4andop81 BRUHHHHHH YOU MANIFESTED IT I ENVY YOU

- y/nnn THANK YOU THANK YOU I DID MY BEST

- ln4andop81 YEAH AND NOW YOURE HAVING GREAT SEX AND RUBBING IT IN EVERYONES FACES

- y/nnn THAT TRULY WAS THE GOAL.

- landonorris what just happened

—

landonorris apparently the statement never mattered anyway so basically i love my girlfriend and that video was supposed to be kept between us but honestly now all yall bitches know im good in bed SO THE NICKNAME NORIZZ BETTER BE PUT. DOWN.

Comments:

carlossainz norizz will never die.

- danielricciardo norizz lives on.

- oscarpiastri norizz forevermore.

- landonorris i hate you

- y/nnn its ok baby they didnt see the tape so they dont understand

- landonorris well now they need to watch it to understand im sick AND TIRED of this

- oscarpiastri ARE YOU STUPID DID YOU JUST ASK ME TO WATCH YOUR SEX TAPE

- danielricciardo lando there is a target on your back.

- carlossainz im gonna pretend like i dont even know who you are

- y/nnn what an overwhelming no!

- landonorris 😒😒

oscarandlando4ever norizz the nickname was forgotten the first time around when the grinding vid surfaced

- f1fan2 yeah they went in for the overkill this time

mclarenfan34 yeah we def KNOW youre good in bed now dw

- mclarenfan22 “do you like it when i make your eyes roll back my love?” PROVED THAT.

- mclarensgirly “ill never get over the feeling of you fuck baby” 🤭🤭🤭

- f1fan2 *she moans his name* “yes y/n say my name baby let everyone know who makes you feel this good” I HAD TO TAKE A BREATHER

- mclarensgirly “good girl” and “youre taking me so well” HAD ME DRY HEAVING.

- ln4andop81 no but the best part of the entire vid was when she came and he moaned “yes baby ill never get tired of the feeling of you cumming around my dick like a good girl”

- y/nnn im a lucky girl ‼️

—

TWITTER

mclarensgirly one month since the sex tape leaked and we FINALLY get the info from lando on HOW it got leaked

- mclarensgirly in an interview with lissie he says, “it was actually my fault. There’s a, uh, folder, if you will, on my laptop that has videos and pictures of that category which we have accumulated in the years we’ve been together. Well, anyway, i was emailing with a fan about her transaction with quadrant merch. It’s a long story but her order had been so screwed up that i had to step in and see it out myself, but, nonetheless, i was trying to attach her old receipt and new receipt to the email, but, because it was 2 AM and I was exhausted, I didn’t realize I went into me and y/n’s folder, didn’t realize I clicked and attached that video. By the time I realized what I had done, the email had already been sent. The fan never emailed me back to get her merchandise, but the next morning we [y/n and him] woke up to it being plastered on all platforms.”

- mclarensgirly he later goes on to say, “No, we weren’t that mad. I mean, yes, we were mad the fan had leaked it, but we weren’t upset it was out there. You can see us make jokes about it on our social medias. We’ve made sex jokes before and we had that other video leak a few months back, so it isn’t a shocker or touchy subject with our fans that we have sex. Yeah, the video was a lot and I’m sure made people uncomfortable, I’m sorry for that, but, at the end of the day, it’s a natural, healthy part of a relationship and we didn’t feel the need to try and cover it up.”

- ln4andop81 YOURE FORGETTING MY FAVORITE QUOTE FROM THE ENTIRE INTERVIEW WHEN HE SAYS “we have great sex! We have a great sex life! And if people know that I’m more than capable of satisfying my girlfriend in bed, then so fucking be it. Neither of us are complaining.”

—

TWITTER

landonorris 2 videos leaked, nervous the others will too

- y/nnn put the GODDAMN folder on a flashdrive and give it to me PLZ. i will keep it safe

- landonorris only way ill do that is if you recreate both leaked vids with me

- y/nnn deal.

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 x reader #mclaren #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagines #lando norris edit #lando norris x you #lando norris smut #lando norris fanfiction #lando norris

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mclqren · 1 month

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CAR TALK ★ LS2

PAIRING ✦ logan sargeant x fem!youtuber!reader

SUMMARY ✦ on your youtube channel, you post q&a's in your car, and your most recent guest has people speculating about the two of you. [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

NOTES ✦ reader lives in america for the purpose of this fic. i know the car doesn't like the same in all of the pictures but that's the best i could do ahaha. the fc i've used is kiana davis, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

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liked by emmachamberlain, yourbsf, and 582,899 others

yourusername first 'car talk' episode of 2024 is pending...🏎️

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user1 the weekly episodes of car talk have been severely missed this winter vacation.

user2 SO REALLL i've been needing y/n back on my screen

user3 she is actually so perfect it's scary

user4 idc we needdd a car talk x chicken shop date crossover asap

yourusername @/ameliadimz thoughts??

ameliadimz we can look into this 👀

user5 OKAY BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CAPTION?? THE RACECAR??

user6 she HASSS to be interviewing some f1 driver.

emmachamberlain YUMMYYYY

yourusername 😍😍

yourbsf MY BEST FRIENDDD!!

yourusername ALWAYSSS

liked by logansargeant, yourbsf, and 552,110 others

yourusername 'car talk' ep 1 of 2024 coming this saturday 👀🏎️

view all comments

user8 IT'S DEF A F1 DRIVERRR THE SHIRT IS A DEAD GIVEAWAY

user9 oh ABSOLUTELY

user10 her facecardddd oh my gosh

user11 been missing your videos queen!

user12 okay but like which f1 driver do we think it is??

user13 crazy thing is she has like five or six of them following her/in her likes right now, so it could technically be any of them

liked by logansargeant, alex_albon, and 622,110 others

tagged logansargeant

yourusername 'car talk' ft logan sargeant out now!! one of my favorite episodes i've filmed so far ❤️

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user18 WOWWW IT WAS LOGAN THE ENTIRE TIME??

user19 I KNOWWW

user20 yall's chemistry was through the roof. i was sweating just watching the episode

alex_albon 👀

user21 LMAOOO ALEX WHAT DO YOU KNOW

logansargeant Best driver/farm animal expert/youtuber 🙌

yourusername yessirrrr ❤️

user22 HELP NOT ALL OF Y/N'S PROFESSIONS

user23 he had to make sure he got all of them in

liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and 100,298 others

tagged yourusername

logansargeant Thanks again to the crazy lady who drove me around the city, almost killed me in the process, asked intrusive questions about my life and took me to visit a farm. Had a blast 🏆

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user24 HIM CALLING Y/N OUT FOR HER DRIVING HELPPP

user25 why do i actually kinda ship them...

user26 no ur so real for this.

yourusername you're so welcome!! ( i'm at ur door for mentioning my driving abilities )

logansargeant I'LL TAKE IT BACK SORRY

alex_albon 👀

user27 HIM COMMENTING THE SAME THING ON BOTH THEIR POSTS I'M CREASING

liked by logansargeant, yourbsf, and 533,002 others

yourusername brb, currently escaping to dc 👋

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user29 why is she the most perfect girl everrrr

user30 LITERAL MODEL.

user31 logan has now taken his spot as permanent liker of y/n's posts

user32 is it just me who wants to see logan & y/n together again??

user33 NOT JUST YOU!!

logansargeant Maybe you should come down to Florida sometime??🙌

user34 LOGAN SHOOTING HIS SHOTTT

user35 @/user34 or they could just be friends?? 🤷‍♀️

user36 @/user35 let us be delusional please.

yourbsf photography creditsss??

yourusername yes yes all to you!

liked by logansargeant, emmachamberlain, and 544,110 others

yourusername back on the move ✈️

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user40 RIGHT BEFORE THE SEASON STARTS ASW??

user41 i smell a bahrain visit!!

user42 okay but her hair is my most favorite thing everrr

alex_albon 👀

user43 MR ALBON BACK W THE EYESSS

user44 WHAT DOES HE KNOW.

logansargeant 🙌❤️❤️

liked by yourusername

liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and 144,671 others

tagged yourusername

logansargeant Bahrain ✔️ Girlfriend ✔️ Mission Accomplished ✔️

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user47 "mission accomplished" THE PLAN HAS BEEN BREWINGG

user48 FINALLY MY FAVSSS

user49 crazy car guy x even crazier car lady is my new favourite trope

user50 SO REAL FOR THISSS

alex_albon already knew this'd happen 🤷‍♂️

logansargeant So you've mentioned!!

user51 he's been trying to help yall out AS HE SHOULD.

yourusername be glad i didn't kill you that time i took you driving, otherwise you never would've gotten to ask me to be your girlfriend. ❤️❤️

logansargeant Thankful every day 🙏

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, and 655,224 others

tagged logansargeant

yourusername new car talk episode incoming this time with my BOYFRIENDDD 🥳🥳

user52 THEY'RE THE CUTESTTT

user53 she looks so happy omg

user54 if you hurt her logan we're all after you. 😁

yourbsf so im a third wheel now??

yourusername nahh he can third wheel us bbg 😉😉

lilymhe ANOTHER FEMALE IN THE WILLIAMS PADDOCK THANK YOU LORD

yourusername i'll make you my latest car talk victim 😍

lilymhe sign me upppp!!

user55 im sensing a double date car talk incoming

user56 'the eyes, chico. they never lie' @ logan in the second picture

yourusername @/logansargeant LOOLLLL WISHING I MADE THIS THE CAPTION

logansargeant My fav ex-farm employee ❤️

yourusername still prefer the sheep to you ❤️❤️

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junityy · 2 months

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🕸 — stay.

pairing. spider-man!jake x fem!reader genre. fluff, slight angst, slightly suggestive?? wc. 2k warnings. for context, this is the #infamous scene in the amazing spiderman 1 when peter shows up hurt at gwens window!! and yes im including the lizard LMAO and jake is kinda down Bad note. THIS TURNED OUT SO LONG.... and also NOT how i wanted but erm well.. spiderman jake is truly all i can think about so i hope you enjoy!!!

You were just finishing up your chemistry homework when Jake leaned against your window frame outside, and lightly knocked against your window. By now, this had become a routine-like thing, so you didn't even flinch.

The first time he did that, though, you felt slightly creeped out before letting him in regardless - because, after all, you do live on the 21st floor. The second time he did that, you started getting used to it. After all, your boyfriend just so turned out to be Spider-man. It was just something you'd get used to sooner rather than later.

Turning around and telling him, “Come in.”, you could already feel your lips form into a smile like that of a little kid's. Jake does as you said and opens the window, slowly climbing inside while you quickly save your homework document in the meantime.

“So, big guy, what was saving New York like today?” you joke before turning around to look at him. Though, once you see Jake holding onto your armchair for stability, your smile fades as quickly as it appeared and you get up when your eyes scan his body - three major scratches across his chest, along with other small wounds across his face (though these are a given by now). But also- scratches? No, it looks more like someone tried to slice him up with.. you don't even know what. Knives? This big? You can only imagine how he got these.

“Different, for sure.” he replies in a joking manner (even though there is no smile), and you can hear just a tiny bit of the pain he must be in in his voice.

“Jake?” you end up whispering as you walk towards him, and he simply lets himself fall onto your armchair before you sit down beside him.

“Seems that reptiles aren't my biggest fans.” he jokes; now smiling as he lets his head fall back while trying to catch his breath. In the meantime, you can't help but scan his wounds up close and - it's safe to say, someone (or something) possibly did try to slice him up from the looks of it.

“Reptiles?” you repeat, the confusion in your voice being very easy to identify; something Jake had already seen coming though, so that is far from surprising.

Before speaking up to elaborate further, he lifts his head again to look at you up close, then explains; “Remember that thing on the bridge yesterday? The thing that was ‘bigger’ than a human.. Well, turns out it's actually some kind of giant, mutant lizard. And it's living in the sewers, apparently.”

“A what?” raising your eyebrows in shock immediately, you can't help but blink in utter confusion a few times - at least before your eyes find their way back to his chest, and some dots start to connect by themselves. Well, his wounds make a little sense now at least. Still, neither of you could deny that ‘giant mutant lizard’ doesn't sound absolutely insane - so naturally, it takes you a second to process and.. imagine what that fight must've looked like just now.

“You're..” you frown; making eye contact with your boyfriend again after breaking it shortly. Jake on the other hand can't seem to even think about taking his eyes off of you. As per usual. “You're telling me you're fighting.. giant lizards?” you simply add. You're also certain that no matter how you would've worded this, it would sound equally just as crazy.

But, well.. your boyfriend IS Spider-man after all. So really, nothing should probably surprise you anymore. If you had to guess, things would, most likely, only get crazier from here on.

“Yeah. Well, they suck.” Jake scoffs, followed by another smile on his face, but he quickly groans in pain right after; your eyes still fixated on his wounds. It’s not like he'll die of them, so you try telling yourself to stop being so dramatic, but still.. it's a sight you'd rather not get too used to.

You hate seeing him like this. Usually, you're pretty used to seeing him with small or at least smaller wounds by now, but this? This is.. low-key crazy. You keep telling yourself that he is literally Spider-man, and that there's.. kinda no way to avoid getting hurt, yet all you hope for is to see him in one piece every single time. And it seems that the longer he keeps doing what he's doing, the chances of seeing him at all keep getting slimmer. Which is something that truly keeps you up at night, easily causing goosebumps all over your body.

“Hey.” Jake quietly says, simply to bring you back to reality once he notices you're lost in thoughts, and the next thing you feel is his hand on your cheek, softly cupping it.

Once you're actually back, you properly reconnect the eye contact you so love with him again. “What is it?” he questions not too long after, barely whispering while trying to read your expression. You, on the other hand, just remain silent; swallowing, before taking a sharp breath.

“Take this off, I'll take care of it.” pretty much avoiding the question, you point to his suit instead (or at least the upper part of it) - since, every time Jake has come here, you took care of him and his injuries. And today was gonna be no different.

While he makes sure the city is okay, you need to make sure he's okay. And vice versa, Jake has to make sure you're okay, by coming back to you every time like promised. New York could be safe for all he wants - only seeing your face every time makes him feel truly safe and sound.

And so again, he does as you say; moving to sit on the floor while leaning against your bed, he watches you do your little magic in silence. Silence, awe, admiration - it's all the same when it comes to you, really. He doesn't even deserve you, Jake thinks to himself. Like he does everyday.

Your ‘little magic’ though, simply includes disinfecting his wounds first; a process the both of you have gotten used to by now.

Once he's rolled down his suit a little, you begin to carefully pat his chest with the tissue again and again, so careful as if he'd break if you made one wrong move. Which.. seems sort of funny. You're patching up the Spider-man after all.

Jake, in the meantime, can't seem to take his eyes off of you again, so he simply doesn't. Instead, he watches your every move like his life depends on it. The look in your eyes has changed. You've gone quiet. Like, awfully quiet.

“Y/N.” he tries again after just a moment - after you clearly avoided his question the first time. When you look up just the tiniest bit, you're immediately met with his eyes on you already in no time. Oh. His eyes. “What is it?” he repeats, hoping to get you to talk this time.

Looking at him, it takes you a few moments to even form a somewhat coherent thought. Sometimes you wish you could just stop time and stay like this. With him, here. Forever.

Sure, being Spider-man's girlfriend had its perks - like Jake taking you with him to swing around New York together. Surely.. an original experience! But it also meant praying he'd come home to you every time there was trouble in the city.

“I'm just scared for you, is all.” you sigh quietly, tilting your head a tiny bit. For just a moment, silence enters, and it feels like you're falling in love with him all over again. You're just glad he's here.

“You won't lose me.” Jake assures you in the softest tone possible and immediately brings his hand back to your cheek, only to bring your face closer to his. Close enough to place a kiss on your lips, a reassuring one. A kiss that, as you both know, says something words wish they could truly encapsulate. Breaking the kiss for a short, simple “I promise.”, he immediately reconnects your lips again like he'd suffocate if he didn't.

What starts as a lovely, reassuring kiss, quickly seems to turn into something much more intimate when you feel Jake rest his other hand on your waist only to pull you as close as possible; to feel your body right against his.

Spider-man might have impressive healing abilities that are above those of the average person, but Jake felt as if having you near him was already enough healing.

“I love you.” he breathes into the kiss, and quickly tries to catch his breath when you do the same for a second. Your faces still dangerously close, all you seem to be able to get out is a “I love you too.” that sounds very out of breath, like you were the one fighting a giant mutant lizard just before.

Bringing your hand up to rest on the side of his neck, Jake can't help but sigh when he backs off a tiny bit, only so he can get a good look at you. God, you're beautiful he thinks to himself. Basically looking at you the same way he did when he first told you he loved you, he automatically moves the few strands of hair out of your face; tucking them behind your ear, while his eyes simply shine with admiration. But mostly love.

“I just love you, Y/N.” your boyfriend repeats while shaking his head slightly, and sounding completely hopeless as if he just accepted that he is, indeed, hopelessly in love with you. Though, that was more or less the case anyway.. it still is, actually. Watching his eyes go back and forth between your eyes and lips, Jake speaks up again in a low voice, “You won't lose me.”. However this time, it's a promise rather than a reassurance.

Your eyes lighting up with pure love at his words and the look in his eyes, you can't seem to hide the way your lips are forming into another tiny smile - so you decide to just let them speak by placing them on his once again.

It's like your lips were perfectly made for each other, especially when Jake tilts his head a tiny bit more to deepen the kiss - his hand still on your neck, and if it were to go after him, he'd never remove it again. It's like you were perfectly made for each other.

“Jake.” you mumble into the kiss, yet keep it going because his lips feel a little too good moving against yours. Although you don't wanna let go, you (sadly) do end up breaking the kiss - which causes Jake to immediately look at you as you're gathering your thoughts one by one.

“I need to ask you a favour. It'll sound really selfish, though.” you begin quietly, only to receive a promising nod from his side, waiting for you to continue curiously while his eyes go back and forth between your eyes and lips again. Swallowing, you carefully ask, “You know I love that you're Spider-man, but can you just be Jake for tonight and stay?” Yeah, you were right about it sounding kinda selfish. Jesus.

But, like, it's true, and you couldn't really figure out a better way to word it. I mean, obviously you love that he's Spider-man - literally who wouldn't? But it's true that you love Jake Sim more. Even if just a tiny bit, which is why you want, - or need, actually - him with you tonight. Just Jake. Just the two of you.

“It doesn't sound selfish.” is the first thing he says in response, slightly shaking his head for further assurance. You're not only glad about it, but you feel your heartbeat increase rapidly when you see yet another smile form on his face, which (thank god), he doesn't even try to hide as it's getting too big. “Actually,” he lightly scoffs, biting on his lip as you watch him do so (it drives you nuts every time).

“I was hoping you'd say that, princess.” is the last thing he says before pulling you in for a kiss much, much more intimate than the ones before.

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