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#chicken plays dnd
lordofchickens · 1 year
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Started playin Wanderhome recently, only done two sessions but I'm really liking it. I don't think I'll archive my adventures on here like other tabletops but there's a line from it I wanted to remember so I'm making this post.
During a mirage/dream sequence we were reliving the story of The Warthog Captain falling in love with the Possum in the Mist (who for us was an opera singer), and while he was wistfully staring at her on his ship, my character, Mr Durkley, walks up to him.
Durkley: Evening Captain, I see you're admiring the horizon.
Warthog: Aye, and what a beautiful horizon it is...
Durkley: Now Captain, in my years I've learned a thing or two, and that look in your eye tells me all I need to know. A man like you shouldn't just be staring his horizon, he should be sailing towards it.
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chikkenhawke · 4 months
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enraptured by the shape of this beast 🐣
get stickers etc -> here
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hotboiessek · 8 months
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DMing a session will have you looking up the AC of a wooden door and then looking up the stat sheet of a mule
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monstrsball · 1 year
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so. my dnd group had our first session yesterday :3 and it went well and was so fun. my character killed three enemies which totally made up for the multiple social blunders she made earlier in the session.
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thisgodwontforgiveyou · 7 months
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man why the fuck did baldurs gate 3 not just make sharism actually be catholic and make being selunite the buddhist thing
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blujaydoodles · 2 years
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Now all we need is a REALLY big trenchcoat
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for the dnd ask game:
1. why did they choose their class(es)? their subclass(es)?
17. what do they dream about, when their dreams are their own?
19. what haunts them? what doesn't?
33. what makes them cry?
imagine remembering to check my inbox lmao
I'm going to answer these for one of the many characters of mine, because I counted and I have 17 d&d pcs (in theory) So! I'll answer for Fainn, my oldest pc. She is a water genasi trickster cleric (neutral evil) from an old Curse of Strahd game
1.) She was raised in the clergy of the Moonweaver! She's from a small but very religious coastal town, and being an orphan she was taken in by the church. She became a trickster cleric after she was banished from the clergy and town (justified) and got caught in Barovia (unjustified) where the Beshaba, the goddess of misfortune, claimed her as her own and Fainn had no reason to say no.
17.) Fainn would dream of the ocean, most often. She was raised on the coast, and as a water genasi the waves always felt like a home she didn't have on the shore. Sometimes she would be walking in the shallows, other times she would be swimming among the schools of fish. But she always dreamed of the ocean, when her dreams were her own and peaceful.
19.) She was haunted by a need for revenge, though she would never see it that way. Her obsession with getting back at those she perceived as wronging her is what drove her for two years after her banishment, it even drove her to try to seduce Strahd and entertain an eldritch god from the Amber Temple in desperate bids for a power she felt she didn't have. What never haunted her was guilt for her actions-- she was banished for almost getting a fellow acolyte in the church burned at the stake for accused heresy and treason, which was all a false claim Fainn made to regain power in the clergy. If she had the opportunity, she would do it again... only she would make sure it goes her way next time.
33.) Fainn was never one to emote, so she rarely cried. When she did it was always when she was alone, but most often it came from feelings of betrayal, true or perceived. It's just my own thoughts since we never really finished that game, but I always saw this as something Beshaba would eventually use against Fainn. At the end of the campaign Fainn started finding herself truly caring for the rest of the party, where in the beginning they were really just meat shields for a bad situation, and they were such a bizarre group of do-gooders that they might've truly been able to redeem Fainn-- which wouldn't have been good for Beshaba. So to turn Fainn against them and keep her on the path of evil, it would've been easy to make the comparison of her growing trust in them as having the same end as the trust she once had in the clergy of her hometown: betrayal, heartbreak, and abandonment.
Of course this is all a bit skewed because, to be Completely Honest, Fainn was kinda insane and more than manipulative! What I was going through in high school to have her be my First player character, I have no idea. I still hold her close to my heart though, even if she's absolutely terrible. [heart locket opening] fainn my beloved
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arealcrow · 2 years
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thinking about sid and nells ranch and im simply perishing
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redrreign · 2 years
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before first dnd with new group: aww maybe our little guys will become friends with their little guys and theyll all grow as people <3
after first dnd with new group: those little guys are insufferable and we need to rob them immediately
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lordofchickens · 2 years
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Last week's session of DnD was mostly roleplay which I'm happy about, mostly cause I knew the next session (last night's) was going to be mostly combat (it was)
The party left the sewers of the city they were locked up in, ended up fleeing into the nearby forest where they happened upon a bunch of wolf and boar corpses, one wolf was barely alive and was nursed back to health before being asked about what did this. Turns out the wolves and boars of this forest turned on each other
After convincing the wolf to lead the party to the rest of its pack. the party starts finding more dead wolves and boars dotted throughout the woods, eventually the mysterious hooded figure from the prison appears.
The figure casually mentions "how messy this ascension business is", when questioned he explains how currently two candidates in the war domain pantheon are fighting to see who "moves up", and asks the party to help one of them out cause if they fight too much then whatever is killing gods will have an easier time getting rid of the victor.
The party asks if the figure has a suggestion of who to go for, and is told the wolf deity, Hultat, is the one he'd aim for. The party accepts and is then told of a nearby blacksmithing/mining town they can rest in if need be, they head there and spend the night at the inn, a man mentions that his son is missing, a PC, Dav lies and says they found the kid's body near some dead wolves. Before turning in for the night two of the party challenge a group of dwarven miners to a drinking contest and lose pretty bad 6 drinks in.
In the morning they leave the town and head back into the forest, after some time they come across a clearing where a great many wolves and a pack of boars are fighting, however some of the boars are up on two legs and using weapons.
They watched for a bit and then the session ends there.
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chikkenhawke · 6 months
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hunter's moon
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makenna-made-this · 8 months
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*narrator voice* More like Brooder's Gate 3, amirite???
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Monster Highlight: The Abyssal Chicken
Dear Readers, in the world of Dungeons and Dragons, there are countless creatures that players can encounter on their adventures. Some are powerful and dangerous, while others are quirky and comedic. One of the more unusual creatures in the game is the Abyssal Chicken, a diminutive bird-like monster that is known for its strange abilities and unpredictable behavior. The Abyssal Chicken is a…
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teapsoon · 1 year
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syn0vial · 7 months
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watching the BG3 cast play DnD is so funny. the first combat happens and it's like chickens with their heads chopped off. wyll casts darkness and immediately runs out of it leaving karlach inside, gale casts ray of frost for 2 dmg against the boss despite receiving guidance from shadowheart, laezel whiffs her first two attacks bc she's too busy yelling at gale and then in the middle of all this pandemonium, neil newbon is just like, "ASTARION DOES A SICK HEEL SPRING JUMP OFF A TABLE 360 NO SCOPES THE MONSTER WHILE WINKING AT GALE WITH DOVES FLYING BEHIND HIM. 15 POINTS OF DAMAGE."
just. the mental image of this utter chaos, punctuated by astarion being like, "oh shit, the protagonist's incapacitated? MY TIME TO SHINE~"
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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 9 months
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Sweet Little Sister
Pairing: EddieMunsonxReader
Request: Could you do one where you're Steve's little sister and you go to Eddie to get a tattoo? But it's really a ruse because you have a crush on him and are trying to work up the courage to tell him. Then, you know...😉
18+ only
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“Harrington? What are you doing here?” Eddie asked, confusion written all over his face to find you at the door to his trailer. 
You pushed your hair back, gazing up at the metalhead that you’d been crushing on for two years. You’d noticed him at the beginning of your junior year, his first time repeating senior year. Fuck, he was so beautiful. Standing there in just a pair of sleep shorts, blank ink standing out harshly against his pale chest, that mess of dusky waves falling over his bare shoulders, was almost too much for you to handle. It took everything in you not to turn and run, but no, you had to play this cool. You’d come up with a plan and you were going to see this through. This was no time to chicken out if you ever wanted a shot with him. 
Your brother, Steve, knew him because they had some weird shared friendship with a freshman, Dustin Henderson. The two had become friends over the past year and having him around only intensified your fixation on the Hellfire Club’s dungeon master. You’d never been brave enough to say anything though, sticking to casual conversation about his DnD club, his band, school, etc. He’d even sold you some weed once and you had intended on making a move but you’d bailed at the last minute. 
“I actually came to ask you a favor,” you answered softly, willing your heart to slow down. 
“Oh yeah? What kind of favor is that, princess?” he mused with a smile, his elbow propped against the doorframe as he leaned into you. “Does Harrington’s sweet little sister need more weed?”
“No, not that,” you muttered quickly. “I uhh…well, I’ve heard that you did all your own tattoos?”
“Yeah, I did,” he replied slowly, leaning back and crossing his arms, eyes narrowing, lips pressed together, as he considered you, clearly wondering where this was going. 
“I actually want a tattoo and I was wondering if you’d do it.”
Eddie’s eyes went wide and then he started laughing, “Harrington’s infamous little sister wants me to tattoo her? Now, that shit is funny. And what, pray tell, does big brother think about this?”
“Steve doesn’t know,” you insisted, straightening your spine, trying to appear far more brave than you felt. “He doesn’t get a say. It’s my body and I’m eighteen. I can do what I want.”
Eddie’s lips pursed in amusement, “Kitty’s got claws. Surprising. Okay then. Come on in to my palace, princess and tell me what you’re thinking.”
“O…okay…” you stammered as he stepped back, sweeping his arm out. You stepped inside his trailer and he gestured to the couch, the two of you sitting next to each other. 
“Alright, darling, what are you thinking of getting? Do you have a picture or something?”
“Oh, yeah,” you mumbled, reaching in your back pocket and handing him a folded up piece of notebook paper. “I actually drew out my idea. It’s fairly simple actually.”
Eddie opened it up, turning his head as he looked at the drawing. It was two butterflies, just basic outlines, flying off into the sky. He glanced up at you, nodding. 
“I can totally do this. Can I ask why this?”
You felt the flush creep into your face, “You’ll probably think it’s stupid. It’s supposed to represent me and Steve, umm, getting away from our parents? You know, flying away and finally being free? I mean, it hasn’t happened yet but I am planning on getting a job once this school year is over and we’ve talked about renting a place together then. Getting the hell out of that house is all I want.”
Eddie chuckled softly, “That’s not stupid, sweetheart. I think that’s pretty cool actually. You two willing to give up all that money? Must be worse than Harrington even admits.”
You swallowed hard, “Yeah, well…”
Sensing your discomfort, he changed the subject, “Okay, where were you thinking?”
Okay, here came the part that had you the most nervous, the part where you set out the bait and hoped he took it. You inhaled deeply before pulling your shirt over your head. Eddie’s eyes bulged with shock as you took his hand, placing it over your heart. 
“I was thinking right here,” you whispered. “What do you think?”
“I…uh…I…” Eddie stammered nervously, tongue running over his bottom lip as he sat, frozen, his hand on your chest. “I…yeah, I mean…I can do it there. It’s uh…kind of where I did one of mine.”
“This one?” you inquired, tilting your head, one hand still covering his, the other rising to his chest, fingertip tracing over the demon head, your confidence bolstered by the way he shivered under your touch.
“Uh-huh.” He nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing harshly as he swallowed. 
“I like it,” you told him. “Do you think mine would be better there or…” Releasing his hand, you hooked the loops of your jeans in your fingers, sliding them down your legs. Taking his hand once again, you placed it on your stomach, just above lacy pink panties you’d worn just for this. “Here?”
“Fuck…” Eddie muttered, closing his eyes. “I…uh…it’s up to you really. I…Jesus Christ…”
“Eddie?” you said softly, your other hand coming under his chin. “Are you okay?”
“No, not really,” he replied, shaking his head. “You’re standing here in your bra and underwear and I’m trying really hard to be respectful. I mean, you’re Harrington’s sister.” His eyes opened and he moaned. “But fuck, I mean, look at you.”
You bit your bottom lip, smiling, pleased at his reaction, “What if I don’t want you to be respectful? What if I want you to look?” You took both his hands, sliding them along your stomach and over your breasts, holding them there. “To touch?”
“Holy shit…uh…I…what…” Eddie looked like a deer in headlights, frozen, staring up at you. 
“Eddie, I want you,” you told him softly. “I’ve wanted you ever since the first day of my junior year. Do you remember? You passed me a spray paint can and said thanks sweetheart, flashing me a smile. Principal Higgins was hot on your heels because he’d found your artwork in his office.”
“Oh damn,” Eddie chuckled. “That was some of my finest work. A massive dick covering his wall. I even painted over his college degree. Well, shit, you saved my ass that day.” He rose from the couch, his nerves suddenly gone, large hands covering your hips, the metal of his rings cool against your flesh. “I guess I owe you, huh?”
“You really do,” you breathed, eyes closing as he tilted his head down, lips a breath away from yours. Finally, you were going to get everything you’d only fantasized about. 
“You sure about this, sweetheart?” he whispered softly, lips brushing over your cheek. “Once we do this, there’s no taking it back.”
“I don’t want to take it back.”
Your hand wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling his lips down to yours, heat spreading through every fiber of your being, settling in your center. Dear god, help you, those full lips were even more delicious than you could have imagined. His tongue slid past your lips, licking every inch of your mouth and your knees buckled, your fingers grasping at his hair for purchase and you knew nobody could help you now. You were completely lost in everything that was him. The pads of his fingers pressing into your skin, velvety tongue exploring your throat, luscious lips devouring yours, fluffy strands of wavy hair between your fingers, hard chest and warm skin pressed against yours.
“Jesus Christ,” Eddie groaned, dropping to his knees in front of you. “I’ve imagined what you look like without your clothes, princess, but you are even more beautiful than I could have imagined.” 
His nose ran over your thigh and you inhaled sharply, head dropping back. He turned you, running his hand over your asscheek as he grunted. You shrieked when you felt his teeth biting into a chunk of your flesh. The sharp sting was followed by soft kisses and then his hands were guiding you to face him again. 
“Eddie…” you gasped, his breath hot against your already burning center as he nuzzled himself against your panties.
“Can I?” he asked, those warm eyes questioning as his fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties. All you could do was nod. Slowly, so achingly slowly, he dragged your panties down your legs. You lifted one ankle and then the other so he could fully remove them. "Fucking hell..."
His nose ran along your folds and as it bumped over your clit, you whimpered, reaching out, grabbing his shoulders to hold yourself up. Eddie's hand gripped your calf, lifting your leg and bringing it over his shoulder, opening you to him. Those lips tortured you, biting and sucking the skin along your inner thigh and then the other, leaving marks you knew would show tomorrow. It gave you a thrill of pleasure thinking about Eddie's handiwork concealed under your clothes where only you knew about it.
"Please..." you pleaded, losing all sense of control, needing him like your lungs needed oxygen, like your veins needed blood rushing through them.
"Well, since you asked so nicely..."
Flattening his tongue, he licked a stripe from your entrance to your clit and you shuddered, a guttural moan falling from your lips, nails digging into his flesh as your legs threatened to give out. Jesus, this man was talented. His tongue was making love to your clit, circling and flicking and rolling in ways you hadn't even known were possible.
"Eddie, that's so good. Oh my god," you panted, chest heaving, knowing it was going to take you no time to reach your peak but fuck, you never wanted it to end.
"Mmm, you taste so good, sweetheart. I could die a happy man buried between these thighs," he hummed against you.
Just when you thought nothing could feel better than this, his lips latched around your clit and two fingers pressed into you, sending you to an entirely new level of pleasure.
"Oh...fuck!" you cried, teetering, falling, plunging into an abyss you would never crawl out of. "I can't...oh my god...Eddie...I..."
"You gonna cum for me, sweetheart?"
Eddie's fingers curled within you, his mouth leaving your center and making it's way up your body. His thumb replaced his tongue, circling over your clit. Your eyes closed, helpless whimpers rising out of you. With his other hand, he gripped the back of your neck.
"Open your eyes for me, beautiful," he commanded. "I want to watch you cum for me." Your eyes fluttered open, a struggle against the coil winding tightly within you. "That's a good girl. Cum all over my fingers."
"Eddie..." you keened, back arching, his hand the only thing supporting your body as the most powerful orgasm you'd ever experienced in your life imploded through your body. It was like being burst apart from the inside, like shooting stars rocketing through the sky, like a tornado blowing everything apart. It was like nothing you'd ever felt.
"That's my girl," he praised with a grin, fingers slipping from inside you, leaving you feeling empty. "Fuck, you look beautiful when you cum. I could watch that over and over again."
You whimpered at his words, the very thought of doing this, having this with him for more than one night was almost too much to bear, too much to hope for. You arms came around his neck, your lips pressed to his once again, desperate for more, desperate for as much as you could get of him.
"Someone not satisfied yet?" he sang, pulling back with a grin, tongue running over his teeth. "We can't have that." His hands gripped your ass and hefted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist, lips moving over yours as he carried you into his bedroom.
He dropped you on the bed, quickly covering your body with his own. One of his hands slid behind your back, unhooking your bra and pulling the straps down over your arms.
"Fuck, you're so damn beautiful. You're like...perfect..." he commented, eyes raking over every inch of you, causing your body to flush with pleasure.
Then his lips were on your chest, covering every inch, teeth and tongue raking along your nipples, threatening to send you over the edge again. Your fingers tangled in his hair, holding him against you, needing more, needing to feel all of him.
"Fuck me," you pleaded.
Eddie's head popped up from your chest, eyes glinting devilishly. Kissing his way back up your body, he placed his hands on either side of your head, eyes burning into yours, dark waves brushing your skin.
"You want my cock, princess?" he inquired, teasing. "Want me to fill that pretty little pussy?" You nodded, panting beneath him at just the thought. "Did you fantasize about this? Huh, beautiful? Did you lay in your bed, in that big house, your fingers slipping into your pussy, imagining it was me?"
"Yes," you breathed, biting your lip. "Yes...all the fucking time. Please. I want you, Eddie. I need you."
"Need me? I like the sound of that." He rose from the bed, removing his shorts and boxers. You almost fucking salivated at the sight of him naked in front of you, something you'd imagined but you'd never gotten it right. He was so damn perfect. Grabbing a condom from the dresser, he ripped it open with his teeth, sliding it over his length.
Eddie crawled back over the top of you, lips dropping next to your ear, "Can I tell you a secret? I've jacked myself off to the thought of you under me a thousand time."
And then he was thrusting into you and it was perfection. It was angels singing on fluffy white clouds. It was rainbows glittering across a blue sky. It was sweet, cold ice cream on a hot summer day. It was a crackling fire and a cozy blanket after you came in from the cold. It was every fucking thing that was perfect and good in this world.
"Oh fuck yes..." you cried, wrapping your legs around him, heels digging into his ass in an attempt to pull him even deeper into you.
Eddie grunted, rutting inside of you, bottoming out as he rose up, one hand on the headboard. His eyes focused on the spot where he was entering your body, watching himself slip inside your warmth each time.
"Oh sweetheart...you feel so goddamn good..." he groaned, his hips rolling slowly, relishing every single thrust. "So fucking good, princess."
Your body jolted, tiny electric shocks dancing over your skin, your nerves endings on fire as flames of pleasure raced through you. Eddie's hands slid along your legs, gripping your calves and lifting them up, pushing them until they were back by your ears, causing his cock to reach a whole new depth, a depth you hadn't known existed.
"Fuck!" you screamed, eyes rolling back in your head.
"Yes. Oh shit, baby, I am so close. Are you close, princess?"
You nodded frantically, words lost to you, teeth digging into your lip so hard you could taste blood. Your body was a piano wire, pulled so tight you thought you would snap. Your legs tensed, ankles bent, fireworks exploding behind your eyes as your release burst from you, screaming Eddie's name, fingers clutching at him, grasping, nails scraping along flesh.
"Son of a bitch!" Eddie roared, head bent back, body stilling as he plunged into you once more, his own orgasm taking over. Your legs shook like jello as he trembled above you and then he fell, collapsing against you. "Jesus...shit...fuck..." he muttered, peppering your face with kisses, his forehead pressed against yours. "Your brother is going to be so pissed off when he finds out."
"I...I'm not gonna tell him..." you assured him, shaking your head, legs falling to the mattress, no strength left.
"Well, it will be kind of hard to keep from him forever," Eddie said with a smile. "I mean, how long can we keep hiding?"
"Keep hiding?" you asked, bewildered, list filled brain struggling to keep up with that he was saying. "Do you mean...you want to keep doing this?"
"Hell yeah," he laughed. "Don't you?"
"I mean...yeah...I do. But if we're just sneaking around to have sex, we can keep it a secret. You don't have to tell anyone."
"Oh sweetheart, I definitely want to keep having sex. There's so many damn things I want to do with you. But, I was thinking more than that. How would you feel about me taking you to a movie?"
"Like a date? You want to date me?"
"Yeah." He chuckled, the sound low and husky, sending shivers racing over your skin. "I mean, you said you liked me, right? I thought that meant like, you liked me, liked me."
"No, I do!" you insisted. "I just didn't think you would want..."
"Oh pretty girl, I want. I definitely want." Those lips began moving again, over your jaw, your neck, your collarbone. "You're not the only one who had a crush. I want all of you. I want everything with you."
You sighed softly as those lips began making their way south again, your body ready for him, pulsing, throbbing. Thank god you'd finally found the courage to make a move.
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