#comedy is real fucking hard and i think i just do not have enough in common with the perspectives

[isaacathom]

based on our movie night track records its possible that i, isaac, simply should not watch any comedy movie published before 2007

#the producers (original) was agony. munchausen (the gilliam one) was. an ordeal #mp and the holy grail was firmly Mid and did not make me laugh (that said. the only one id Seen Before) #comedy is real fucking hard and i think i just do not have enough in common with the perspectives #of the (predominantly) white men of the era to find their takes funny #hell i rewatched men in tights and went oh. hm. i remember that being funnier. oops #i have some hopes that blazing saddles holds up a bit more with exception of the final section having always been kinda naff #but in general that shit AAAAAGES #then again we also watched stuff like Mouse on the Moon and Titfield Thunderbolt and those were delightful #with my general thing because theyre comedy about their absurd premises. and a lot of prop humour too! #ah well. i feel bad for the guy who keeps suggesting these movies since he ends up enjoying them a lot more than us #ah well! nothing for it.

[mono-dot-jpeg]

boy failures for u - i. yoichi, s. nagi, s. ryusei, b. meguru

summary; in which some boys just love you so much, they simply can't function

genre/extra tags; scenarios, fluff, comedy, projecting my love for dog energy boys, they're so pathetic /pos, bachira is clumsy, ryusei is an embarrassingly horny dude (can confirm, he gets no bitches, absolutely ZERO play!!), nagi... is perfect as he is, yoichi,,,, is just socially awkward around people he has a crush on

[gender neutral reader]

a/n; look at me being fancy this one panel banner, slay. tbh i couldn't think of a good three photos to use for it so i tried this which is kind of nice. anyways i had a sudden thought hit me and it must be done. and what better anime to write for than the one where everyone has unexplainable gay tension between each other. i swear im as caught up as possible i think and i swear the gay tension is like,, crazy.

isagi yoichi is endearing. he's so bad at being normal around you. his face flushed a cute red, and his words barely managing to leave his mouth as you talk to him so sweetly. he doesn't know how to handle a crush. and it's so cute to tease him because he just doesn't know how to respond properly.

the times where he does manage to gain enough confidence to talk a conversation with you, he's never taking the lead in any of them. he's talking [somewhat] normally to you, answering your questions and [attempting] to reply to your thoughts and responses. of course, just don't flirt with him too hard. there's like a 50 percent chance he will understand it or not.

he can't even admire you correctly. when he attempts to give you a compliment, he's saying all the wrong words and apologizing profusely like he offended your entire bloodline. he's so utterly enchanted by you, he wonders if you're an angel sent just for him.

"you're so nice, y/n." "huh?" "i-i mean you're really cute! wait- i didn't mean that! fuck- not that i don't think you look cute! you're really a great person, you know?! sorry! i'm just gonna go back to practice...!"

nagi seishiro is so lazy that you can't help but watch over him. you understand why reo adores him (a little too much). he's a boy with pretty privilege and talent. he talks to you with such honesty that he unintentionally flirts with you. he doesn't know a lot of things well, but even he's had his fair share with understanding liking people (but that's only with the random dating sims he's tried).

when he manages to get on his feet, whether it's for a soccer match or you, he's stuck by you like a cute koala. he whines about everything being "too much of a hassle." but he finds himself walking around looking for you, no matter how far you are. he whines to you about how he had to get up to find you, and he's cuddling close to you. his mouth turned into his signature X shape as he pouts at you, annoyed that you just had to be away from him for more than a minute.

he tries so hard to be around you but at the cost of his laziness, he mutters to you about how much easier it would be if you just stay with him all the time like his purple-haired companion or his cactus pet. he fell for you first, but he makes it so easy for you to fall harder.

"why do you always have to do stuff?" "it's my job, sei." "you should just stay with me all the time. you take care of me so well."

shidou ryuusei is annoyingly desperate for you. if isagi was endearing, shidou was insolent. he speaks before he thinks. he has no shame in chasing after you. it's quite a feat that you haven't even shooed him away as much as sae has. you sort of find a friend in sae because of that. he always rolls his eyes when you mention him. he wonders why you keep being around the blonde jock, and you tell him, "who doesn't love a pathetic man?"

when he talks to you, he just can't read a room with you in it. he's the type of guy to say "this shot is for you." and it hits the goal post and then to his face. of course he'd never actually miss in a real match but i can guarantee that it would happen during a practice match. he unintentionally humiliates himself every time he tries to be cool. if sae is there, it's even worse. he's trying to bump up the flirting up to a 200 and failing miserably to woo either of you.

he's like those tweets where it's like, "how did i pull them? easy. i just went, PLEASEPLEAPLSEPWPLEAPLELA-". without fail, he basically tries to re-enact that but he doesn't even pull you because you'd much rather wait for him to actually be a decent man and grow the rest of his brain. though it doesn't seem he'll learn his lesson anytime soon.

"did i ever tell you how hot you look right now?" "yes. you have. multiple times. today." "please go out with me." "no."

bachira meguru is confusing. he's clingy, blunt, teasing, a little stupid but has the spirit, and an absolute cutie. he's passionate about what he likes. and surprise, surprise, he likes you. he's an infodumper but you don't mind at all. but sometimes those talks take a hard left into just telling you how much he likes you. you better hope you're strong because he will be jumping on you for a hug.

when he's just buzzing with excitement, he can't help but scramble by your side to cling onto you in any way that you will allow him to. he's not as boy failure as the others on this list because even when he fails to capture your heart, he's still succeeding in his book. he loves when you give him any sliver of attention. that's probably his thing as a boy failure. he is a hyper and needy dog who's too big to cuddle with but doesn't care. and you can't say no because then they just stare at you with those big eyes until you cave.

he's the type of guy to be confused when people ask if you're dating him and you say no. "what do you mean we're not dating? i thought this was the dating." he's never actually confessed, but he considers his "s-tier affection" to be confession enough. but he's kind of coward whether he realizes it or not. he's scared to actually say that he wants to be yours, but that's like an angsty story for another time, SO SHUT.

"what if we kissed? like right now?" "but we're not dating, meguru." "we're not? we should." "i'll think about it." "no think! just do!"

#blue lock x reader #blue lock nagi #blue lock #blue lock nagi x reader #blue lock bachira #blue lock bachira x reader #bachira x reader #bllk x reader #bllk nagi #bllk isagi #bllk shidou #shidou ryuusei x reader #ryusei shidou x reader #blue lock shidou #nagi x reader #nagi seishiro #isagi yoichi #isagi x reader #blue lock isagi #bachira meguru #bllk bachira

[strongheartneteyam]

[ all credits of the Neteyam pic go to the incredibly talented @cinetrix ♡]

Champagne Problems

Part 2

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!human!reader

CW: neteyam is a simp for reader, black cat gf/golden retriever bf "trope", a whole lot of angst, beach party, use of alcohol, some romantic comedy vibes, neteyam acting a bit cocky lol, reader is a tiny bit of a meanie towards neteyam, sexual language, sexual content, reader is a bit antisocial, flirting, emotionally unavailable bc of trauma reader, unrequited love (neteyam is the one having the unrequited feelings), sexual tension, commitment issues, exophilia, size kink, interspecies relationship, bad words. Hit me up to lemme know if I forgot something ahaha

Do you guys remember the story inspired by Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift that I promised like ages ago? Well... The first part is here? 🤓 A lot of people seemed to be excited to read this when I posted that sneak peak. Hope you guys like it! kiss kiss 💗

Neteyam and Reader (AI Art)

Slightly proofread.

Part 1 : Say Yes to Heaven

𓇼

If you dance, I'll dance

And if you don't, I'll dance anyway

Give peace a chance

Let the fear you have fall away

I've got my eye on you

(...)

Say yes to Heaven, say yes to me

Say Yes To Heaven (Lana Del Rey)

𓇼

"It's not like you're not gonna break me in half if we try to get down and dirty." You laugh a bit too much, the alcohol invading your brain slowly, making you care less and less about behaving in a "socially acceptable" way. Though you wondered if your not-a-bit-elegant-honesty mattered at all to Neteyam Sully, the na'vi boy sitting in the maroon leather couch, by your side, his huge size making the couch look ridiculously small. He was na'vi, after all. Totally different culture. The na'vi were way more upfront about their real thoughts and feelings.

Neteyam had been talking loudly, almost yelling, at your ear for the past 40 minutes, trying to make his voice sound louder than the party's music, so you could hear him try to convince you to hook up with him. As if the loud uplifting songs that echoed in the salty air of that Metkayina beach were not enough to bug your tired head, now you had Neteyam helping your headache get worse.

"That doesn't mean you can't let me take you home. Or even let me make you my mate, eventually, if we end up falling in love while we fuck under the starry sky. You might like laying with me in my hammock and letting me pleasure you more than you think. Maybe you'll want to be my girl once you get a taste of this na'vi spice" He was joking around with you while flirting.

His thick, muscular but still fleshy thighs were spread on the sofa way too much to your liking. It was almost like he was trying to show you how masculine or desirable - some bullshit like that - he was. You know, that kind of thing a lot of guys usually do when trying to seduce you.

You knew Neteyam was aware he was handsome, that his body was attractive. He had always had girls - na'vi and human - all over him since he was a teen, drooling over his beauty.

But if he thought his loverboy flirting that must have worked so easily with just way too many girls before was gonna work that easily with you, he was mistaken.

Okay, you had to admit he was being pretty insistent, though. Neteyam had been there for almost an hour already. You did not understand what was making him insist that much on you if you had an armor as impenetrable as the one of a human warrior of the Middle Ages, back on Earth. And those armors were really hard to get under.

"Listen" you took a last big sip of your champagne and put the glass cup on the wooden table next to the sofa "When you gonna give up, honey? It's not gonna work. I'm not hooking up with you." You looked him in the eyes.

Goddamn, were his orbs big compared to the ones of a human. 

They were beautiful, though.

Damn, (y/n)! Focus, girl!

"I'm known among my people for being disciplined, focused and getting what I want because I fight hard for it. You're my focus now, tawtute." (human) I'm not giving up on you. You're like my Ikran. You're wild and hard to get but I'll conquer you, sevin tawtute." (pretty human) "On the first try."

"Cocky much?" You smirked and shook your head in disapproval "No, but, seriously, Neteyam, are you out of your mind? Have you forgotten about tsaheylu? I don't have a neurological queue, babe. I know I have many braids in my hair," You pointed out your hairstyle "but they're all regular human braids. None of them have little tendrils on its tip. Sorry, Neteyam. We're Romeo and Juliet. And Juliet doesn't even love Romeo in this story. You're deemed to heartbreak." You said, like you could not care less about his attempts to win you over, sipping on your sparkling champagne, that went down your throat comfortably, making you feel cozy and safe. It wasn't gonna work, anyway.

You liked champagne a bit too much... you had to admit it was very possible that you had a bit of a drinking problem. Alcohol made you feel warm inside. In an emotional way too. It felt like someone was hugging you, when you would not let many real people hug you because you just were not exactly enthusiastic about having physical contact with just anyone. You only let your closest friends and some family members, like your little sister, hug you. 

Some people would often call you "cold" and say that you acted "like a queen, above everyone else", behind your back, but that could not be further from the truth. You actually hated how low your actual self steem was.

"Why don't you look at Munì?" You mentioned the curvy, tall, blue eyed Metkayina girl who clearly had a mad crush on Neteyam. She was incredibly pretty. Nobody could deny that. "She has been drooling over you ever since you got here. Give the poor girl a chance. She's such a cutie. If I liked girls, I'd easily do her. Look at those beautiful, long, toned legs. Look at her wide hips. Damn, she's yummy!" you were drinking too much, your honesty getting way too out there.

"I don't want her. I want you." He spoke, like he really meant it. "My hammock will be hanged between those two big trees you like to collect fruits from. I'll be waiting for you, if you want to meet me."

With that last line being said, Neteyam got up from the sofa and walked away, swiftly finding his younger brother Lo'ak and tapping on his back, like men usually do. Both brothers started what looked like an interesting conversation.

You were left alone wondering how Neteyam could say those words and walk away so nonchalantly. 

"Phew! I thought he'd never leave, girlie." Adeline screamed, coming closer to you.

She was your best friend. You guys knew way too much about each other, but that only drove you closer and made you two have a beautiful bond that felt unbreakable. She was one of the few people in the world you trusted with many of your secrets. But not even she knew everything about you. Yes, talk about trust issues…

"God, I was about to call his sister to take him away! Kiri is much more chill and quiet compared to her siblings. She's a sweetheart." You said, finally letting your guard down and being able to relax your body language, laying back on the couch and resting your bare feet on the wooden dark brown table in front of you

𓇼

You cursed yourself while you walked towards Neteyam's big light brown hammock, hanged between two big beautiful trees that reminded you of the Palm Trees that used to exist on Planet Earth.

Why were you doing that, anyway?

"Tawtute! You came." Neteyam smiled, relief all over his face 

You sighed.

"Yeah, but I'm still wondering why I did."

"Ouch!" He put his huge four fingered hand on his chest and frowned, like he was in pain

You rolled your eyes at him.

"Stop that, silly." Crossing your arms, you walked towards the big tropical tree in front of his hammock but still a little far

"Hey! Where are you going?" Neteyam almost screamed as you were already further away from him than you should be if you were actually gonna have sex with him

It was like you were running away from and showing up to the "job" at the same time. Go figure out.

You rested your back against that large tree, feeling the rough edges of the wood harassing your skin.

Neteyam was already almost there where you were. His long na'vi legs helped him walk faster than you anticipated.

Neteyam got next to you. You felt a little fear but a bit of excitement, simultaneously, when you realized your head only reached his hip.

Fuck, he was a giant next to you… why the hell did that turn you on?

"Are you afraid of me, yawntutsyìp?" (little loved one) Neteyam said in a lewd, low voice as you looked at him, feeling like a pathetic little ant looking up at a human

Was that how ants felt?

"No, silly, I'm not." You looked away from him and tried to focus on the way the eclipse had beautiful violet and blue tones

That almost worked. If it wasn't for Neteyam using his huge alien hand to stroke your hair softly.

"You're so pretty, tawtute." You could feel his gaze directed at you, you could feel his heat burning your skin. The desire he felt for you was almost freaking tangible. 

You kept your eyes on the stars.

"You're not gonna look at me, yawntutsyìp? Lemme see those pretty eyes, hmm?" Fuck, he was turning you on so much, your pussy felt good already and there was a tight knot forming in your lower belly. How did he do that to you with so little effort?

You looked up at Neteyam's face, your neck hurting. You did not expect to see a big bulge under his navy blue loincloth, though. Neteyam was so huge you could not help staring and your face totally betrayed your surprise.

"C'mon, I wanna feel your tiny body on mine." He paused and his big blue hand traced your collarbone and your shoulders "You're so small, tawtute… Hmmm…" he let out something between a moan and a growl "So soft too." Neteyam squeezed your arm, feeling your soft human flesh against his slender fingers "I love how different from na'vi girls you are. I'm so lucky to have you all to myself tonight."

Your breath was now labored and your pussy was soaked. Your poor panties were all wet.

"I'm dying to squeeze those titties. They look incredibly soft. But I won't do anything that intimate before you say "yes" first, yawntutsyìp."

•

Taglist:

@yeosxxx (u asked to be tagged in all my writings so I'm tagging u here hehe)

Comments are very welcome. I love all of you who take time to read my writings ♡ Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart. If you wanna be added to the taglist, just leave a comment down below <3

#neteyam x you #neteyam x reader #neteyam smut #neteyam sully smut #neteyam x human #neteyam x human reader #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x female human reader #neteyam x female reader #neteyam sully x y/n #neteyam sully angst #neteyam sully #neteyam atwow #atwow fanfiction #avatar fanfic #avatar fanfiction #neteyam sully x human reader #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam fanfiction #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam suli x reader #neteyam suli #✎ victória writes ▢࿐✧

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ON THE TOPIC OF BARNABY. as well as his relationship with Wally.

So. To kick this off - Riv (@funonion) and I were Speculating, and they introduced me to the johari window:

They put Barnaby in the “facade” section, and I entirely agree. To quote them;

“So he’s Wally’s guide, right? He’s the “knowledgeable” one of the two and is always the one teaching him new things. And you know, it’s one thing if you’re just teaching him how to laugh or how to tell a joke. But.

Clown has given us two doors. One says that Barnaby understands Wally in a way the rest of the neighborhood doesn’t, and is willing to do his dirty work so to speak. The other says that their friendship was not a natural occurring thing and had to be enforced repeatedly within the show. HOW THAT’S BEING ENFORCED IS ANOTHER THING ENTIRELY but it is worth it to note.

What is Barnaby willing to keep? What is he willing to bury for his little buddy? I can’t say anything definitively yet, but the fact that I even have to ask is telling. The class clown archetype is usually used as a way to cover up for something else a character might be experiencing”

And my response, (I won’t directly quote because I have little things in the phrasing & elaboration to add / tweak );

Barnaby being a Comic Relief Character immediately raised so many alarms in my head. I love comic relief characters. They’re always so fucked up in one way or another, and Barnaby is almost certainly SO inauthentic. He’s wearing a comedy mask just as opaque as Wally’s own mask. In everything we’ve seen about him so far he’s either Teaching Wally, wisecracking/joking, or… pretty much nothing else. We got that moment of concern in audio 14-14, but that doesn’t reveal anything beyond genuine care for Wally.

Comedic characters have the best disguises. Their poker faces & ability to deflect is always top tier [and practiced], and just look at comedy-focused actors and entertainers - so many of them have severe issues, either with their mental health or life. From what i’ve observed both in that aspect & with fictional characters, they play it off & work hard to entertain/deflect [one in the same] right up until the end. Sometimes it’s a coping mechanism. Usually it’s both. If they laugh loud enough and make people think they’re lighthearted fools w/ nothing underneath, no one will look any deeper and thus they’re “safe”. 

& I’m a little suspicious that Barnaby’s red/orange/yellow spots aren’t naturally those colors. While yes, he could be (in-universe) designed that way to echo Ms. Beagle, there’s a strong possibility that that’s not it. What if he paints them to feel a connection to her, or it’s a physical manifestation of Barnaby covering up his insecurities/issues - what if it’s part of him striving to convince the world that he is what he paints himself as. 

The laidback funnyguy with a loving mom and not a problem in the world. 

And I mean, Barnaby claims to be a natural blue and I believe him! But the other colors? I’m doubtful

(I was going to include the Cast As Lil Kids Designs in this since Barnaby has all blue spots, but given how early in 2021 it was posted and how there seem to be little discrepancies from the ~official~ designs, I don’t want to provide it as evidence.)

& on the topic of Wally and Barnaby’s relationship being both real and not - disclaimer, this conversation happened before my Updated Thoughts On Them post, so there may be some minor rephrasing here from what I originally said - I’m sure that the relationship started out as inauthentic. Wally was assigned Barnaby as a best friend and technically vice versa, but I don’t doubt for a second that it became real to some extent. Clown wouldn’t treat their relationship outside of “canon” WH stuff the way that he does if they weren’t actually friends. They’ve said that Wally & Barnaby would be friends in every universe (which melts my heart <3 platonic soulmates my beloved <3), so then I have to agree with Riv. what WILL Barnaby do for Wally? I touched on this in the Milk Theory, but especially if Barnaby prides himself on “knowing Wally better than anything else”, what would Barn do to preserve that?

This relates to another conversation we had - Barnaby possibly having abandonment issues. It’s such a choice to have him of all characters be explicitly stated as an orphan. That and while every other Neighbor with a mentioned family have a somewhat large one (Howdy and his gajillion relatives, Julie and her three siblings, Poppy and her crowded tree [note: Eddie has a mentioned mother, but that info is tenuous and who knows if there are other Dears]), Barnaby has also explicitly stated that Ms. Beagle is his only family. That’s it. And farm life can’t be a sociable way to grow up, not with all the chores he must have had and how rural he might have grown up. Barnaby jokes that Home is the “Big Apple”, which could just be a joke - but jokes often come from a place of truth, and Home might be the most populated area Barnaby has lived in. Who’s to say!

Either way, Barnaby was orphaned one way or another, and I don’t doubt that it weighs on him. Especially if  his birth parents really did abandon him. That added to a possible life of loneliness… I wonder if he’s latched onto Wally emotionally, which would hit all the painful places if it turns out that my “Barnaby is more attached to Wally than Wally is to Barnaby” theory has merit. Abandonment issues could also strongly back the apparent walls he’s plastered over with circus tent fabric

Back to Barnaby & Wally: the fact that, at present, Barnaby and Wally seem to have the best disguises / strongest masks. That. looking at 14-14, i suspect that Barnaby is excellent at keeping his up, but as soon as Wally’s mask cracks, so does Barnaby’s. 

And then there’s the side of their dynamic that we could look at - it seems to be a very multifaceted relationship. The way that Barnaby genuinely cares yet in the 00 Halloween audio Wally was left off to the side and Barnaby was just “checking on him” while socializing (then again, this could be part of Barnaby understanding Wally & respecting his space / Wally wanting a break from that socialization). Barnaby is patient with Wally and yet he seems to sometimes treat Wally as his sidekick / let him fade into the background and yet Barnaby kept checking in on Wally during the 14 bug audios (this last one I could tie into the abandonment issues theory). 

Then there’s how Barnaby calls Wally kid & can tend to treat him like one despite both of them being in the same age group. The way that all of this could, in a way, relate to the infantilization of autistic people (no matter how well-meaning or unintentional) & internalized ableism. 

Note: Riv pointed out that Barnaby does seem to be doing the best with what he has, and that this can connect to the Johari Window’s blind spot / unknown. 

I do agree with this wholeheartedly! And I have to mention that - and making a Very educated guess here - the interactions we’ve seen take place in the very late 60s / very early 70s, so Barnaby’s behavior towards Wally is actually pretty fucking stellar given the time period. We can’t expect him to be perfect or do everything / say everything right. That would be boring I think! And one thing I deeply appreciate about the Neighbors & their dynamics is that they feel like real layered people, not cardboard cutouts being perfect caricatures of what people are “supposed” to be like.

Riv also presented this:

We likely are going to reach a point where Wally asks Barnaby something that he can’t / doesn’t want to / won’t answer. And like.. Ok. This is a slight tangent but I swear it’s related! When I first discovered WH and learned the Wally basics, I wondered two things.

Are we going to watch Wally “discover” new emotions? Because he certainly has them. Clown has said that Wally only ever feels happy, and a lot of people took that to mean that Wally can’t feel anything else. I don’t think we should take that answer at face value, because. I mean. Look at the project & creator we’re talking about. Layers, guys. Indirect direct answers. I think that Clown meant that Wally only ever feels happy in the Neighborhood because he has no reason to feel any negative emotion. Everything is as it should be. Until it isn’t - and I think that’s where he’s going to have to struggle with new emotions as he encounters them through new situations/events unfolding as the “story” starts to deteriorate. We’ve actually seen this a little bit - in Wally’s record audios (i believe the chronological second to last?), the way he says “Let Me In” so insistently. That’s definitely not a positive emotion being expressed. 

How will the topic of death be handled - because it will be handled, it’s stated in the project warnings. I was wondering this even before I read the list, because I was presented with a blank slate puppet character and so went “oh fuck, this dude doesn’t know about death, does he?” Obviously I wanted to know how that would go. I want to know how it Will go! 

How would Barnaby explain emotions that Wally doesn’t know how to convey? How would Barnaby explain death in a way that Wally would understand - given that Barnaby (& all the Neighbors sans Wally) knows what death is  - and would Barnaby be willing to explain such a thing? I have a feeling we may find out.

And in a way, I suspect that if none of them know, Wally will find out himself and have to process it without help. But then again, how can something die if it was never really alive in the first place? Unless the death warning relates to human characters… I’m currently assuming it relates to both humans and puppets. 

In conclusion: Barnaby has a carefully fabricated facade, he's doing the best with what he has but it likely won't be enough, and uh. shits fucked!

#AGH I HOPE IM PUTTING THESE POSTS TOGETHER CORRECTLY. #I HAVE TWO DAYS TO WRITE AND POST THEM ALL #but anyway another thing i was wondering in relation to barnaby & wally having an imbalanced relationship was #the possibility of: #howdy < barnaby < wally < home #as in the <[x] character is more important to the [y]< character than [y] is to [x] #because howdy does seem to like barnaby a whole hell of a lot but we don't know if barnaby feels so strongly back #idk. i feel like i might be seeing a little domino line being set up here. and im Nervous <3 #what happens if the first domino falls? who will it be? how hard will it fall. #who's to say if that has any merit i just wanted to mention it! its intriguing to me #(& to be clear since im aware of my laughingstock rep - im not talkin about shippy dominoes) #(i take off the shipping goggles for analysis. howdy can fully cherish barn as a Friend while still being [y]<) #homebogging #welcome home speculation #wh speculation #i feel like i have more in my brain but. im dealing with minor flu symptoms and im exhausted <3 #today was a Lot <3 #so i'll queue this for around 10 & hopefully I'll be awake & with the next post written for you guys!

[brookheimer]

Roman at Logan’s funeral: All right. Okay, here we go. Let’s do this. Here I am, Roman Roy, doing a eulogy, let’s go. Logan Roy, who was he? What was his deal? Well, he was a man. Uh, he was born in 1938. He died in 2023. One time, he went to a parade, and one time, he smoked an entire cigarette in one long inhale. I watched him do it. Truly a remarkable man. Lived a full life, that guy. Just, all the way to the end, which is, uh, now I guess. Really makes you think, though, huh? Life, right? Goes by, stuff happens. Then you die. Okay, well that’s my time, you’ve been great! Tip your waitress! No, I’m just kidding around, there’s no waitress. Now what? I don’t know. [to the coffin] Dad, you got any ideas? Anything? Dad? No? Nothing to contribute? Knock once if you’re proud of me. [silence] Can I just say how amazing it is to be in a room with my father, and I can just talk and talk without him telling me to shut up and fuck off? Hey, Dad, knock once if you think I should shut up. No? You sure? I mean, I don’t want to embarrass you by making this eulogy into a me-logy, so, seriously, if you wanted me to sit down and let someone else talk, just knock. I will not be offended. [silence] No? Your funeral. Sorry about the closed casket, by the way. He wanted an open casket, but uh, you know, he’s dead now, so who cares what he wanted? No, that sounds bad. I’m sorry. I-I think that if he could’ve seen what he looked like dead, he’d agree it’s better this way. [clears throat] Here’s a story. When I was a teenager, I performed a comedy routine for my high school talent show. There was this, uh, cool jacket that I wanted to wear because I thought it would make me look like Albert Brooks. For months, I had wanted this jacket. But when I went to the store it was gone. They had just sold it to someone else. So, I went home and I told my father, and he said, “Let that be a lesson. That’s the good that comes from wanting things.” He was really good at dispensing life lessons that always seemed to circle back to everything being my fault. But then, on the day of the talent show, my father had a surprise for me. He had bought me the jacket. Even though he didn’t know how to say it, I know this meant that he loved me. Now that’s a good story about my father. It’s not true, but it’s a good story, right? I stole it from an episode of Maude I saw when I was a kid, where she talks about her father. I remember when I saw it, thinking, “That’s the kind of story I want to tell about my parents when they die.” But I don’t have any stories like that. All I know about being good, I learned from TV. And in TV, flawed characters are constantly showing people they care with these surprising grand gestures. And I think that part of me still believes that’s what love is. But in real life, the big gesture isn’t enough. You need to be consistent, you need to be dependably good. When you’re a kid, you convince yourself that maybe the grand gesture could be enough, that even though your parents aren’t what you need them to be over and over and over again, at any moment, they might surprise you with something… wonderful. I kept waiting for that, the proof that even though my father was a hard man, deep down, he loved me and cared about me and wanted me to know that I made his life a little bit brighter. Even now, I find myself waiting. Hey, Dad, knock once if you love me and care about me and want me to know I made your life a little bit brighter. [silence] My dad would hate it if he knew that I spent so much time at his funeral talking about myself. Or maybe he’d think it was funny that his idiot son couldn’t even do this right. Who knows? He left no instructions for what he wanted me to say. All I know is he wanted an open casket, and his idiot son couldn’t even do that right. I’m not gonna stand up here and pretend I ever understood how to please that man, even though so much of my life has been wasted in vain attempts to figure it out.

#if the funeral episode isn’t just roman reciting the entirety of free churro then what’s even the fucking point. #anyways i could’ve added more but tumblr won’t let me post a longer paragraph than this lol #considered framing this like a script leak but figured that would be cruel so you’re all welcome for the lack of clickbait #anyways. go watch bojack horseman #succession #succession spoilers #bojack #bojack horseman #roman roy #logan roy #free churro #long post #ALSO CRAZY FACT THE OG EULOGY SAID BOJACKS MOM (who the speech is about) ALSO WAS BORN IN 1938!!! #SAME YEAR AS LOGAN #the year of abusive parents #i hope this finds the target audience. the center of the bojack succession venn diagram etc #100

[changbunnies]

Crave, Final (18+)

♡ Pairing: Romantic Demon!Hyunjin x Plus Size Human Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: supernatural au, demon au, age gap relationship typical in monster fucker fics, some slight angst, more porn with plot <3

♡ Word Count: 5.1k

♡ Summary: "The more a thing is perfect, the more it feels pleasure and pain." - Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy. In which Hyunjin, a demon from the nine circles of hell, finds himself impossibly infatuated with the very human he once set upon himself to destroy.

♡ Warnings: this is the final part! please read the previous parts before this one <3 part 1, part 2, part 3, supernatural abilities, mentions of dying and going to hell (nothing bad happens to reader i promise), hyunjin feels a lot of guilt over being a liar and loving reader, hyun's demon side makes its full appearance!, brief mention of blood.

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): we are going full on demon / monster fucker in this part babyyy, pet names (my love, lovely, baby, gendered language such as "good girl"), dom/sub dynamics with switch vibes, some more biting and marking, improper use of a tail :) take that as you will :), oral (m receiving), size kink, dacryphilia, unprotected piv, creampie.

♡ Notes: i'm gonna be real with ya'll i worked so hard to get this out quickly cause a game i've been waiting for comes out this week and the internet is going to be dead to me while i play it fdfgdfgdf so if i'm a ghost for a while after this upload that's why!

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

Unsurprisingly, Hyunjin is first to awake despite having fallen asleep after you. Even without the exhausting pleasure gauntlet he subjected your body to, he would’ve woken first regardless; as a being who doesn’t require sleep, he doesn’t stay in that state for nearly as long as a human does. And even then it’s not a “true” sleep; it’s more like a meditative state, that surely did help give his mind and body rest, but was wholly unnecessary when it came to his ability to function. 

Given that he’s already forced the state once tonight, it’d be almost impossible to do so again as it’s simply not in his biology to do so. And despite himself, he still wants to linger; so he closes his eyes again, and though sleep does not return to him, he stays that way- holding you close, listening to your deep, slow breaths, his fingers lazily and softly tracing over your skin. 

The meditative state he’d been in for the last few, entirely too short hours did thankfully offer some much needed clarity to his racing mind. Hyunjin, grappling with the fact that he lost control of himself, carelessly (or maybe instinctively, unconsciously), bared his fangs to sink into your skin and mark you like a werewolf would his mate left him both ashamed and frightened for what would come next. 

It’s far from Hyunjin’s proudest moment, and never before has he had to grapple with the possibility of losing something important to him. There’s part of him that still doesn’t even fully understand why you’re important to him. He’s a demon for fuck’s sake- demons don’t fall in love with humans, they manipulate humans to fall in love with them. They destroy human’s lives for fun, they take and ruin and feed until their prey is left with nothing, and then they move on to the next person. 

And Hyunjin knew he was different from a standard demon, not just in physiology and intelligence but also in the way he approached life, but it still baffled him to realize just how different he truly was. He did the exact opposite of what other demons in the same position as him would have done; he could have charmed you for an easy fuck where you think you’re in love though he is a stranger and it would’ve been enough to satiate his need to have you. 

He could’ve avoided spendings months getting to know you, he could’ve manipulated you to suit his whims from the moment he formally met you instead of spending all his time to foster a real connection. He could’ve lied through his teeth at every moment, and while he certainly did lie, it was only ever necessary lies; he never, not even once, lied about something he felt or thought. Every glimpse into his personality, ideals, likes and dislikes were all genuine, when instead he could’ve just given you thoughtless answers that he thought you’d want to hear, never injecting his real self into the dynamic. 

But for reasons he couldn’t understand, he wanted you to love him- and not for some idealized man he crafted to meet your every need and preference, but to love him for who he actually is as a person. But.. he isn’t really a person, not in the way you are. Still, he followed that notion, and at every moment he was genuine; every look, every touch, every date and every gift- they were sincere admissions of a love he truly felt and wanted you to share, his proverbial heart being worn on his sleeve. 

It reached a point where lying to you ate away at him, but he didn’t know what else he was supposed to do. In what reality did it make sense for him to confess that he’s a demon and for you to be okay with it? And his mistake has forced him to confront that difficult truth much sooner than he had hoped to, has given root to the fear of rejection, loss, and unrequited love- human emotions he never expected to feel, that he thought he was incapable of feeling in the first place.

All he can do is pray that when he tells you the truth about who he is, that you don’t turn away and rebuke him. And how ironic it is for him to pray for something- to want something so badly that all he can do is plead to the higher power he’s supposed to be against to grant him this selfish wish he doesn’t want to let go of. Hyunjin has come to understand in his time with you that the relationship between humans and demons is more complex and codependent on his end than he would’ve initially given credence to, but maybe all it took to spark that epiphany was meeting the right person. 

And how foolish he is, to devote so much time and love to a being whose existence will only equate to a mere fraction of his own, who is fragile and weak and without lasting power. Maybe if he’s lucky, when you are met with mortality your soul will find him in his domain in the second circle, where your sins will go unjudged and unpunished for as long as Hyunjin remains at the top, where your eternity of “atonement” can be spent with him, where he’ll regard you as a queen of equal standing. 

Dark fades to light with the rising of the sun, and still he keeps his eyes closed, as if preventing them from opening would also prevent the reality that is fast approaching from coming to pass. Eventually, when the sun is high in the sky and brightly illuminating your room through your open blinds, he feels you stir, cautiously opening his eyes to the sight of you trying to blink away the sleepy fatigue that still maintains a grip on your senses. 

You offer him a soft, lazy smile as you wake further, clinging closer to him with a tight squeeze of your arms around his torso. How naturally you smile at him and hug him is both a soothing balm and cruel crutch that he knows will break the heart he isn’t even supposed to have when it is gone. Thankfully, in your sleep-addled state, you don’t recognize the looming dread that hangs over him, and he’s able to quickly shove it down to return your smile and plant a soft kiss to your face, reminding himself to enjoy his time with you while he still has it.

Pushing your hair out of your face as you wake up more, Hyunjin catches a glimpse at your neck, the speckled bruises and fading indents of his teeth becoming entirely visible. Well, all marks of his teeth were fading except for one- the two holes left behind from his fangs, the shameful evidence that he lost control of himself in a way he never had before. Broken skin doesn’t mend in just a single night’s sleep, and he knew the moment you touched your neck or looked in the mirror you would know they were there and you would look at the mark, at him, with either fear, confusion, or both as you try to comprehend how his bite would cause such a thing.

“How’d you sleep, lovely?” Hyunjin decides to ask so his mind doesn’t dwell and linger on your neck. “Good,” is all you say with a small, bashful smile, pink crawling over your features as you recall all Hyunjin did to and for you. Honestly, you can’t remember the last time you slept so deeply, and you don’t think you’ll ever forget that feeling of ultimate bliss as your eyes grew heavy and mind drifted off comfortably. 

“You make me so happy,” you follow up, tilting your head up to capture his lips in a soft, good morning kiss. “Want to make you happy too,” you whisper against his lips before kissing them again, and his heart squeezes almost painfully in his chest because he feels it- lust, passion, desire, love. What starts as a small prick to his senses builds to an all encompassing tsunami the more you kiss him and entangle your limbs with his, love, love, I love you your soul radiates.

It’s all he’s ever wanted, all this time it’s what he’s been working towards and hoping for, and it shoots almost painful electricity throughout his every nerve ending- overwhelming, consuming, too radiant and bright and pure to belong to a man such as him, who isn’t really a “man” at all but an entity entirely undeserving of your grace. Selfish, desperate, shameful- he holds you as if he is none of those things, as if he doesn’t taint you just by loving you. 

You push Hyunjin so he’s flat on his back, rolling yourself on top of him, your hair tickling his skin as it falls over his face when you kiss him. His grip on your hips is tight, almost painfully so, but you welcome it. He’s so fucking hungry for you, he craves you so, so bad, and you meet that hunger enthusiastically, your hands ghosting over his chest and down his stomach, making quick work of the shirt he slept in. 

You suppose taking the lead comes naturally to you once shyness and subtle insecurity is dealt with, but you’d easily concede control to Hyunjin again should he have the desire to once again make you pliant beneath him. Your hips roll down onto his hardening cock, and the groan that escapes him makes your stomach flutter with countless butterflies. He nips at your bottom lip with his teeth, sometimes tugging before soothing the bites with soft licks of his tongue.

The rest of your clothes come off in a blur- your nightgown practically ripped off of you by Hyunjin while you fumble with the tied knot of his sweatpants, both of you panting into each other’s mouths, every noise being muffled and swallowed. Wrong, this is wrong, selfish, you’re wicked, deplorable, the back of Hyunjin’s mind screams at him in stark contrast to the way he desperately paws at you, lust and hunger casting a fog over his rationality. 

But when he opens his eyes as you pull back for a breath, his eyes instinctively travel back to your neck, the mark he left on your skin expounding upon his building guilt. He has to tell you now- before the guilt eats away at him entirely, before he loses control of himself again, before he does something else he’ll regret. An almost guttural pained noise leaves his throat when you roll your lower body down on him again, fingers digging into the swell of your hips, his now bare cock becoming slick with your essence. 

“Shit, fuck- wait, baby wait-” Hyunjin breathes out, the most ragged and strained you’ve ever heard his voice. He can feel your passion and desire become background to concern and doubt, can feel your anxiety spiking as you cease your movements. Fuck, he feels so bad- but you have to know he’s not what you think he is, he won’t forgive himself if he doesn’t tell you now. “Listen, I-” Hyunjin starts, then swallows, and your eyes swim with care as you see him struggle, “I- your neck, its..” 

“Hyun, I wanted you to do it, don’t worry about that,” you tell him sweetly and softly, one of your hands grabbing his and rubbing soothing circles on it with your thumb. His heart squeezes once again, and he shakes his head, “That’s not it, I.. just feel it, or look at it, or..” You furrow your brows in confusion but do as he asks of you, trailing your fingers carefully over all the spots you knew he bit and sucked your skin.

You don’t feel much, at first- just a bit tender where you assume bruises have formed, some extremely faint indents of teeth, but as you get closer to the junction where your neck meets your shoulder, you feel it and your entire body freezes. What.. is that..? You scramble to grab your phone from the nightstand, turning on the camera and flipping its view to see yourself, blinking as you try to process what you’re seeing reflected in the viewfinder. 

What the fuck? Slowly, in disbelief as your mind lags and struggles to compute with the reality of what you’ve seen, you lower your arm and let your phone fall from your hand. Are you dreaming? You feel like you’ve been transported to one of those YA vampire romances you read in college for fun- but that’s impossible, isn’t it? Things like that aren’t real, are they? There’s no way you’ve been dating a supernatural being for months.

Your next thought is that this is an ill-timed prank, though you can rationally tell it isn’t. And Hyunjin’s hand that is still in yours.. You can feel it tremble with uncertainty and apprehension, his eyes relaying a deep seated fear of rejection and.. Guilt? Guilt for what? Do you even want to know the answer to that question? You assume it’s related to whatever this is, whatever he is, but.. what is that, exactly? 

Hesitantly, you ask him, wondering if this is really your teen fantasy Twilight moment- stark naked, sitting on the dick of a man who might not actually be “a man” at all. “You may not believe me if I tell you, but I can show you,” he says quietly whilst cautiously squeezing your hand. “O-Okay.. sure,” you breathe out nervously, squeezing his hand back in support. Maybe this is a mistake, but seeing the utter anxiety he’s struggling with, you can’t help but empathize. 

If the roles were reversed, and you were an otherworldly being in a relationship with a human, would you be able to tell them? Wouldn’t you be scared of losing them if they knew the truth? And maybe you shouldn’t forgive him easily, regardless of what the truth ends up being, but you think you can understand what would drive him to keep such a deep secret. You’re still fucking scared of whatever it is, if you’re being honest, but you don’t want to believe that the Hyunjin you know is anything but the sweet, perfect, gentle boyfriend you’ve known him as thus far. 

All you do is blink and instantly the Hyunjin before you is different, as if a veil that was covering your eyes has been lifted to reveal his truest self. His facial features and hair are the same, recognizably Hyunjin through and through, but his skin has changed from a natural, honeyed tone to a deep, scarlet red hue. His eyes, in turn, are no longer a dark, boba-like brown, but instead an unnatural crimson.

Long, pointed ears like an elf you’d see in a fantasy game or movie, horns the same color as his skin protruding from the top of his head, curving gently until they point straight up. You can just barely see the points of his fangs between his parted lips, can see bat-like wings struggling to fit beneath him on the bed, as well a long, slender tail with an upside down heart as its tip. And his body, which was already warm, now feels almost impossibly hot, as if he has a dangerous fever coursing through him, with his nails now more like claws in their length and pointed edge.  

He’s.. still so beautiful..? You weren’t sure what kind of change you were expecting, and you still don’t entirely understand what he is, but he’s undeniably just as gorgeous now as when he was presenting himself as human. His form is reminiscent of the beauty found in the work of Gustave Doré, whose art Hyunjin had once praised and talked at length about; ethereal, otherworldly, mesmerizing-

Wait. Something clicks- the rumors of your apartment being haunted by a demonic entity before you moved in that you disregarded and didn’t believe in. The times you’d wake up from sleep and notice something had been moved, always slightly off from how you’d left it.  The presence you’d sometimes feel despite being alone, the sensation of being watched that sometimes lingered, but always seemed to go away when Hyunjin was at your apartment. His extensive knowledge of art and history that feels as if he lived through the era rather than just having read about it, his fluency in latin that goes beyond mere college study..

You’re in love with a demon. And you suspect that he’s known you longer than you’ve known him. “I’m sorry, I never wanted to lie to you,” Hyunjin breathes nervously after he sees understanding flash in your eyes as you put the pieces of his identity together. “I just, I.. became so utterly, impossibly infatuated by you. But I couldn’t just.. show myself, even if I wanted to. And I- I wanted you to know me, because I love you more than I ever thought was possible for someone like me.”

It’s hard to say whether or not you’ve been manipulated and misled to trust him, but you do, even if you shouldn’t. And you’ll have to hope God will forgive you for the sacrilege you’re about to commit. Squeezing his hand in a display of acceptance, leaning down to kiss him once more in a display of love regardless of the truth you’ve been shown, dedication to an act entirely unholy. Though, if Hyunjin is what will be waiting for you in hell, maybe damning your soul there isn’t so bad. 

You feel him positively melt with relief, soft apologies from him and acceptances from you rolling off the tongue. “Promise me this is the only lie, promise this is the only secret and I’ll forgive you,” you breathe and he affirms without hesitation, enduring promises of true love and honesty pouring from his lips. “We can even make it a pact if you want,” he says after a string of promises and you shake your head with a slight smile. 

If what you’re led to believe from media is true, if Hyunjin made a pact with you in which his end of the deal is to never lie to you, he’d suffer grave consequences for breaking it. “I’m choosing to trust you without that, so don’t break it, okay?” Hyunjin nods with a smile before you’re kissing once more, his arms wrapping around you and hugging you tight to his impossibly hot skin. 

When your tongue enters his mouth, you curiously explore the point and feel of his fangs, and when he nips at your lips, the sharp point very nearly draws blood with each bite, the subtle pain utterly intoxicating. It’s not long before your lips end up swollen and bitten red, your tongues continuing to swirl and move together, your hands fervent in their exploration and demand to feel. 

Soon enough, he’s flipping your positions, your back now against the mattress with Hyunjin pushing himself between your legs, his mouth trailing gently over the marks he left the previous night. He sucks over the skin once more, deepening the bruises he’s already left behind, brightening them in color. It aches, and yet you tilt your head to the side to make his task easier, feeling him smile against your skin as his fangs poke at your sensitive skin.

He doesn’t bite down, not like he did last night- he doesn’t want to hurt you too much. Instead, his teeth scrape and taunt, the feeling of them enough to have you whining even without the bite. When he pulls away to look at you, your eyes are already pleasantly glazing over in a lustful haze, and seeing his fangs when he smiles confidently down at you makes you dizzy. He’s so fucking beautiful, sexy- it’s going to drive you crazy one of these days.

You jump slightly in surprise when you feel his tail slinking up your leg, wrapping around and hugging your thigh. And it’s when you look down to see how his tail looks wrapped around you that you finally catch a glimpse of his impossibly hard and leaking cock, so unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. It’s big- much bigger than you imagine a human could ever compare, and just as deep and supernaturally red as the rest of him. 

You’re practically drooling at the sight, at the thought of having it in your mouth- would he taste the same as a human, or would his essence be entirely unique? Hyunjin has to hesitate from smirking when he sees you blatantly staring and curiously, hungrily licking your lips, the increased lust from seeing his cock spilling from you in droves. “You want a taste, lovely?” he asks with a charismatic, almost mischievous tilt of the head, his grin growing when you nod eagerly.

“C’mon then, love, ‘s all yours,” he says while uncurling his tail from around your thigh, standing up and letting you come meet him at the edge of the bed. You tentatively reach out to touch his cock, and fuck, it’s so heavy in your hands. Your hands look so small wrapped around him, your fingers unable to wrap entirely around his girth, and while usually both your hands are enough to cover the entire length of a cock up to its tip, Hyunjin still has much more than just the tip poking through. 

Long, thick, big, you’re not sure how it’ll fit in your mouth, much less your pussy- but you’re not a quitter. You start with kisses that turn into kitten licks as you rub up and down his length with both hands, looking up at Hyunjin through your lashes, eager for a reaction, for praise. He brings a hand to the back of your head, waiting for you to open your mouth for him. He carefully guides and urges you to take more and more of him in, until the tip is touching the back of your throat. 

It takes everything in you not to gag and choke, your eyes brimming with tears as you breathe through your nose. “That’s it, what a good girl, taking so much of me,” Hyunjin pets your head as he praises you, and he can see you pressing your thighs together, squirming and desperate to hear more. You want to take all of him in your mouth, but you recognize that’s an impossibility- so you settle for pumping what you can’t fit in your mouth with your hands, doing your best to match the pace of your hands with the bobbing of your head. 

Hyunjin’s soft, breathy moans fuel you, his fingers tangling in your hair as he begins to take control of the rhythm. You let out a squeak of surprise when you feel his tail snake between your legs, gasping when you feel the tip of his tail teasing your clit. “‘S good? You like that?” Hyunjin asks when you moan around his cock, another smirk gracing his beautiful, perfect face when you quickly nod. 

The combination of his cock down your throat and his tail rubbing your clit makes you dizzy, the pace of your hands faltering as your thighs twitch and tremble. Eventually, your hands drop to your lap, your nails digging into your palms as you let him play with your clit and use your mouth, tears falling as he holds your head while rolling his hips and making you take as much as you can handle. 

Determined now to make you cum while his cock is deep in your throat, he moves one of his hands to your chest, tweaking and pulling at one of your nipples, earning a muffled whine as your eyes squeeze shut. Your hands, no longer curled into desperate fists, now cling to his thighs, your nails digging into his skin as you cry and whimper. Hyunjin is relentless on all fronts- from the pace he fucks your mouth, to the flicking of his tail against your clit, to the way he pinches and tugs on your nipples. 

“Gonna cum just like this, aren’t you, lovely? Go ahead baby, let go and show me how good you feel.” With Hyunjin’s permission, and a few more quick flicks of his tail against your clit, you’re cumming with a loud, but muffled cry, your nails failing to break the skin of his thighs despite how harsh you claw at him. You suck in a deep breath when he pulls out of your mouth, your chest heaving as you come down from your high and air returns to your lungs. Hyunjin showers you in more praise as he wipes the tears away from your eyes with his thumbs, subsequently leaving a lingering trail of kisses to your cheeks where they streaked your skin. 

He guides you to lay back down on the bed, planting sweet kisses to your lips once you’ve finished catching your breath. You can feel his cock, wet and still impossibly heavy, between your legs, and you want it in you now. “Hyun,” you start, a pout gracing your lips as you prepare yourself to shamelessly beg, “want you so bad, please, please, fuck me, I need it.”

You can feel his cock unceremoniously twitch at your pleas, a groan leaving his throat at your desperate tone. “You don’t have to beg, my love, I’ll give you anything you want,” Hyunjin says as he rubs his fingers between your folds, feeling how slick you’ve gotten for him. Truthfully, he should prep you more first, but you’re both so fucking needy for each other, and he’ll just have to hope that fingering you last night and making you cum again since then will be good enough. 

He kisses you and lets you squeeze his hand as he pushes inside, the stretch so much more intense than anything you’ve ever felt, so full that your eyes are rolling back before he’s even thrusting his hips. It aches, it stings, but it’s also the most addictive pleasure you’ve ever experienced, and you want all he has to give you, more and more, until you can feel and think of nothing but him. 

Hyunjin holds one of your legs, his tail once again wrapping around the thigh of the other, this time using it to keep you spread and open for him, allowing him to sink as deep as he possibly can. “Fuck, baby-” Hyunjin groans once he’s sheathed fully inside, your walls so wet and hot and squeezing him impossibly tight, “needed this, needed you so fucking bad, you have no idea.” 

“You too, needed you too Hyun, so bad,” you mirror his sentiment between gaspy moans and shaky whines when he finally starts pulling out, pushing back in one swift and fluid motion, building a quick, desperate pace. Despite the desperation however, his pace is far from sloppy- every thrust is precise, leaving you arching your back as your cries grow in volume, your nails digging harshly into his forearms. 

When he knows you can handle it, he fucks into your faster, capturing your mouth in messy, open kisses, your saliva mixing and pooling until it drips from the corners of your mouth. His grip on your thigh tightens, his fingers sure to leave bruises behind in their wake. Sweat drips from his brow, sometimes falling to your cheeks, and God, the sight is utterly mesmerizing- even as sweat drips down his face and sticks his hair to his forehead, he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. 

And again he feels it, the utter love and trust pouring forth from your soul, radiant and perhaps undeserving to be felt by him, but it exists all for him nonetheless. His head drops to your shoulder, every emotion that he feels spilling from you driving him further and further into bliss, his pleasured moans dancing in your ears. “Tell me, please, fuck, please tell me-” Hyunjin practically whines, his nails now digging into the meat of your thighs as he fucks you harder. 

Tell him? Tell him what? Somehow, you think you know what he wants to hear, because it’s the very same thing that you want to hear too. “Love you, I love you, lov- fuck, love you so much,” you breathlessly spill the words between moans, and you hear Hyunjin keen, pleasure erupting from every nerve ending, the wave of love that you exude enough to drown him completely. “Lovely, my love, I love you, I’m gonna- fuck, ‘m gonna cum, tell me again,” Hyunjin pleads, desperate and urgent, his cock throbbing and twitching as he approaches his own high. 

You do just as he asks, stuttering out endless “I love you”s until you’re both cumming hard, a blissful intensity that steals your breaths away and leaves your bodies shaking. His cum shoots inside you in long spurts, filling you to the brim, so much so that it spills out of you even with his cock still firmly pressed inside you. “Mine,” Hyunjin mutters as he kisses you, passionate and deep, no longer sloppy and desperate as it was in the throes of his orgasm, “my baby, just mine, aren’t you?” 

“Just yours, all yours,” you say, and he knows you’re telling the truth, can feel it with every fiber of his being that you mean it sincerely. It was surreal, realizing the truth about your boyfriend and loving him regardless of who he is and how he truly appears, but you don’t think you regret it. He cleans you up diligently, he helps you get dressed and makes you breakfast, he showers you in kisses and endless praise just as he always does throughout the rest of your day.

Because even though he may appear different to you now, he’s still the same Hyunjin you met; the one who dotes on you endlessly, who takes care of you sweetly, who spends hours talking and cuddling and listening to every thought you have. Though you can’t explicitly read emotion the way he can, you always know what he’s thinking and feeling- because with you he’s transparent, with nothing to hide and only love and tenderness to give. 

Maybe it’s wrong for a human and demon to be in love, but you like to think this is the happiness you were meant to have, that this is where you’re supposed to be- right by Hyunjin’s side, until your final breath and then in eternity, a love that transcends your human mortality. If there is one thing you are certain of, it is that spending forever with Hyunjin will bring you a love you’ll feel eternally- warm, gentle, and true.

hello, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed <3 i just want to clarify here at the end in case you felt any confusion or questions about demon anatomy while reading: hyunjin does have like, a physical heart that beats (he has to get his demon blood pumping through his body somehow!) but i imagine that demons don't have an "emotional" heart, because their heart doesn't react to thoughts, feelings, and emotions the ways ours does.

to help get this point across, in japanese they use 2 different words for "heart"- shinzou for the literal, physical, medical side of the heart: it's the word you'd use for saying things like "they had a heart attack", "i have heart disease", etc, while kokoro is for the emotional, feeling side: used in sentences like "my heart beats so fast when i look at him" or "wow that story really moved my heart"

so like. when hyunjin is saying things like "proverbial heart", that is what he's referring to- having an emotional reaction that he's under the impression he shouldn't be having. he is only just now realizing he has an emotional heart, and not just a physical one :') i hope that makes sense to you and i hope it wasn't confusing whilst reading gsdfgfd thanks again for reading <3

#skz x reader #hyunjin x reader #skz smut #hyunjin smut #skz scenarios #skz imagines #mdni + divider graphic credit: @cafekitsune #despite scolding myself last time i once again stayed up all night to finish this #its 7am.... bad habits die hard... good night...

[may-shepard]

Talking with some friends earlier about the pacing: I agree it feels ultra compressed, and that's a shame, but part of the weirdness comes, I think, from some unconventional storytelling choices.

Ed and Stede are both repeating past mistakes. The ingrained patterns that led them to be unhappy don't disappear just because they found someone to love them, or because they kissed, or because they had sex. Ed doesn't believe he can talk about what's bothering him. Talking it through is totally impossible for him. Stede feels like he needs to be something other than he is. It isn't enough for him to build up his pirate skills. He has to prove his father wrong, and in the process, he ends up stepping all over the man he loves, and nearly getting himself killed (again!).

Change takes time. It takes practice. It takes fucking it up and trying again until you get it right. Unless you're Buttons, in which case change takes some incantations and the right bowl. "Buttons, people don't change. Not into birds or otherwise," Ed says, right before Buttons becomes a seagull.

Whether or not people can change is the question of the season, the point of it, more than whether or not Ed and Stede love each other (duh!) or whether or not they'll come back to each other (of course they will!). Ed is trying to change, even when he tells Buttons he doesn't think it's possible. Of course he has doubts: no one has let him do it. Stede's trying to change, too, but he's going in the wrong direction, which is very, very like him. For him, genuine change is going to mean realizing that he's valuable as he is, and caring for himself, not to mention really, really listening to Ed.

This is good, crunchy conflict!

In most comedy, once the MC understands their mistakes, they stop making them. This is different. This is new! It's a lot like how people behave in real life, trying with everything we've got to make our old tricks work before we give up and get some new tricks. And it's jamming the plot in a way that I personally think is pretty bold. If the rhythm feels off, well, it is, or at least, it's bucking convention. That doesn't mean it's bad.

So yes, maybe there is a pacing issue, but it comes in part from the choice to deal seriously with content that most comedy would gloss over. These characters aren't unbreakable. They're vulnerable and they're fuckups, and they're having a hard time stopping fucking up, and their fuckups have consequences, tons and tons of them, which in itself makes for absolutely fascinating storytelling.

I like it a lot! It feels fresh to me.

#our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers

[gabseyoo]

all i am is you

pairing: fushiguro toji x fem!reader | wc: 5,2k.

summary: fushiguro toji is a smart man, smart enough to always get what he wants. and what he wants now is power, over you.

warnings: mean!toji, sub!reader, dark content, toxic relationship, manipulation, age gap, daddy issues, cheating, emotional dependency, humiliation, crying, obsessive behavior, possessiveness, oral sex (m), face fucking, hair pulling, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, crampie, aftercare, toji being an asshole tbh.

a/n: wrote this ‘cause i suddenly felt mad with toxic men, and poor toji had to pay, sorry∼. this fic is just toxic, i don't think this is my best work, but i kinda like the result, remember it's nothing but fiction and dark content, enjoy :) reblogs are appreciated <3.

Your love story with Toji Fushiguro started simply. Nothing fancy or out of a romantic comedy. 

Your eyes meeting his in a coffee shop you used to frequent, he was new there you knew, no doubt you would have noticed him before. Tall, handsome, a scar across his mouth that only made him look more attractive, and he certainly looked older. 

He was working on his laptop at a corner table in the back while you took a seat to do the same but at the other end of the cafeteria, right in front of the window. You swore you could feel his gaze on you a couple of times. 

Three days later you saw him again, same place, almost the same time. Your eyes met his again as always, but this time he smiled at you, you did the same and then tried to ignore him, which you knew would be an almost impossible mission since your eyes seemed to betray you, wanting to admire the beauty of that man. 

Two more encounters passed before the action that “broke the ice” happened; when you called the waitress to pay for your order, but she told you with a smile that your bill had already been paid. You looked at her in disbelief, thinking it was a mistake. When she pointed out that the handsome man in the back had paid it, you tried your best not to blush. You’re almost sure that the waitress wanted to punch you since you asked her if she was serious about three more times to corroborate if it wasn’t a joke or even a dream.

It was real, but there was no way you were going to let him pay the bill just like that. So after thinking long and hard, and putting aside your nerves, you got up from your seat to head over to him. 

“Excuse me? Sir?” You said in a timid voice when you were in front of him. The man stopped typing on his laptop to look at the source of the voice, smirking sideways when he noticed it was you.

“Yes?” God, his voice was attractive too. 

“I’m sorry to bother you, but—” You cleared your throat before continuing, “The waitress told me that you paid for my bill, and although I’m grateful, I can’t accept it.”

He sighed as he leaned back in the seat, crossing his arms, the smile never leaving his face. “Why not?”

“I can’t let a stranger pay for my food.” You muttered, but before he opened his mouth to say anything, you decided to continue, “Why did you do it?”

“Just because I wanted to.” He shrugged, downplaying the situation. “I don’t need another reason.” What a lie. 

“I’ll pay you back.” You said as you tried to grab your wallet, but his mocking laughter made you stop. “Why are you laughing?”

“You’re adorable.” He said it so casually, almost making you blush, yes, almost. “I won’t take the money. Don’t even try.”

“I insist.”

He rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his coffee, you tried to stand your ground, avoiding looking at the way his arm muscles showed through the long-sleeved shirt he wore. Once he returned the cup to the table, he looked up at you again, but now more seriously. 

“You want to pay me that badly?” You nodded. “Then why don’t you sit with me?”

You opened your eyes in shock and gulped before you spoke, “What?”

“Sit with me.” He gestured to the seat in front of him before resting his chin on his hand, waiting for your decision. 

You took one last look around the cafeteria while thinking a thousand things per second. It would be okay if you accepted his proposal, right? You were in a public place, surrounded by people, he was nice, he paid for your food. Besides, he was the man who had taken over some of your thoughts with his perfect figure and the mystery that surrounded him for the last few days. 

You sighed before taking a seat, and he couldn’t be more grateful that you did. He extended his hand to you, which, somewhat nervously, you took, and he gave it a light squeeze. Wow, your hand felt pretty small compared to his. 

“I’m Toji.” You gave him a smile before telling him your name. 

Yeah. Nothing extraordinary. 

After you had the opportunity to learn more about this mysterious man, you knew there would be no turning back. Your mind was possessed by him just minutes after you sat down; not only was he handsome, but he was quite funny and interesting. Maybe it was too soon, but you liked him, and at that moment you wished that wasn’t a one time thing.  

He was a little older than you, well, a little too old. Fifteen years wasn’t a big difference, was it?

But if you didn’t care, he cared even less. 

When you first spoke in the cafeteria, Toji did so with because he wanted to take you to bed with him; you were very attractive after all. But after having a conversation with you, he wanted much more. 

You were everything he was looking for, a young, beautiful, intelligent and wealthy woman. 

But above all, manipulable. 

Toji knew you had issues. In fact, he noticed a few weeks after meeting you, when you started telling him about your family life. 

How your father never paid attention to you and was hardly ever home, leaving you thousands of dollars to spend as compensation for his lack of presence. Also, how he slept with other women and didn’t even bother to hide it. On the other hand, there was your mother, who spent her time being a depressed housewife thanks to her husband’s constant cheating, smoking and drinking at all hours. You even told him how you once heard your poor mom beg your father not to leave her even though he was the one who cheated on her. In the end, he left, leaving a void that Toji wanted to fill.

What he thought was quite nice—and sad, of course—was how calmly and normally you talked about it. As if it were the most normal thing in the world. 

Toji took his time in gaining your trust, always telling you what you wanted, or rather, needed to hear. Hiding his true intentions under a smile and nice words. He had a goal, that you fall in love with him so hard that you wouldn’t know how to live without him. And oh honey, you couldn’t have made it easier for him. 

You were just so vulnerable. You only wanted to feel loved and wanted, and he’d give you that. He would make you feel like the most special woman in the universe.

Asking you if you had eaten, how was your day, how was college, if you needed anything, buying gifts, telling you how much he loved you and cared about you. Little details that even though they are normal in a relationship, meant so much more to you. 

He knew what he was doing. 

One day, you were at his house, he was listening attentively to you telling about how your essay had been the best in your class, when you finished, he took your cheeks in his hands and gave you a short kiss before saying: “I’m so proud of you.”

You didn’t know what happened at that moment, it was as if something moved in your chest, the tears started to come on their own as you heard the words you wished you had heard all your life. 

“Honey, why are you crying?” He asked, wiping your tears with his thumbs. 

You didn’t know what to say, you weren’t even sure why his words shocked you so much, so you just hugged him and mumbled a «thank you», his mischievous smile adorned his face as he caressed your back in comfort. 

When you told your friends about him, some of them were excited about you dating an older man, but one of them was worried about you. But you justified yourself by saying that guys your age were immature and stupid, that they could never give you what someone older could, swearing that you didn’t have any issues. Toji thought you looked pretty cute when you said that. But of course, he didn’t like it at all that this friend of yours told you that he wasn’t good for you, that he might be using you and other shit. So he told you that the best thing you could do, if you wanted to stay with him, was to not listen to her words and walk away, so you did. 

You never had any suspicion of what he was doing with you, even if someone else told you, how could you? You were blinded by his love. Toji was your boyfriend, things were serious with him; your mom had met him and said she thought he was decent (Honestly, she didn’t give a shit and that played to Toji’s advantage). You met his ten-year-old son and got along well with him, the boy adored you. Everything was fine, there was no possibility that he was manipulating you. 

For his part, he couldn’t be happier with the results he was getting. You were like his trophy girlfriend. His ego soared to its limits when his friends would look at you with hungry eyes, some even wanting to make a move on you, but you wouldn’t even turn to look at them, entranced by the man holding your hand. But then, they would make fun of you behind your back, asking how you could be so foolish as to fall in love with someone like Fushiguro. And he, after laughing at his friends’ comments, would just shrug it off, telling them they were just jealous. 

After a year and a half of relationship, you were at a point where you would do anything he asked for, you couldn’t say no to him. Anything to keep him happy and satisfied, and more important, to keep him by your side. And he loved that power he had over you; he knew that if he asked you to get on all fours on the floor and bark, you would do it. But don’t worry, he wouldn’t do that, he liked you too much to humiliate you in such a way, although the idea was not out of the question. 

Fuck, he was destroying you and couldn’t even feel bad about it. 

And please, don’t think he didn’t have feelings for you, he fucking did. It may have started as a game, but it had become something close to an obsession. That’s why his actions, even if it was wrong, because he knew it was. Taking advantage of someone’s traumas wasn’t very moral, but he was never a moral man to begin with, if he was, he wouldn’t have set his eyes on you in the first place.

Yes, he loves you. But listen, it was never said that he at least tried to act like a good boyfriend and respect the relationship. 

Toji grabbed his phone from the nightstand, a picture of his beautiful girlfriend as his wallpaper smiling at him as he unlocked it to open his calling app and press your name decorated with a heart. He held the phone to his ear waiting for you to answer, at the same time, he winked and blew a kiss to the woman who at that moment was smilingly walking out the door of the motel he was at. Sure, he would never fuck other women under the roof of his house, in the place he used to share with you, in the bed where he fucked you. How thoughtful he was, someone give him a prize.  

“Hey.” You answered the call in a sweet voice. 

“Hi. How are you, baby?” He asked, getting out of bed to put on his boxers, which were lying across the room. 

“Good, I just got out of my last class. How about you, love?” You spoke as you said goodbye to your friends, who rolled their eyes when they realized that the person who had called you was your boyfriend. 

“I’m just finishing some work.” Before you could ask him what he was working on, he continued, “Have you eaten anything yet?” He placed the phone between his shoulder and his ear to put on his pants.

“No, I’m on my way to the library, I need to finish my essay.” 

“You’re such a good girl, you know?” He smiled when he heard your shy laugh as he finished putting on his shirt. “You have time for me tonight, right?”

Usually you would respond with a ‘sure’ as soon as he finished speaking, but you kept quiet, Toji clicked his tongue in disapproval.

“You don’t?”

“Hum. I wanted to tell you that—” You couldn’t control the nervousness in your voice. “A friend of mine is having a party tonight, and, he invited me.” 

“He?” His voice was an octave lower, annoyance taking hold of him.

Fuck, what did you get yourself into?

“What’s this guy’s name?” He asked.

“Satoru, but— my girl friends are going too.” 

“Look, honey. I don’t care if your friends go, but I’m offended that you’d rather go to a party than spend time with me.”

Of course, there were times when you wanted to do things outside the box that Toji liked to keep you in, and on these occasions, he had to put you in your place, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn’t?

“It’s not like that, I just—”

“Listen to me, you’re not going.”

“But—”

On another occasion, you wouldn’t have insisted. But for some reason you really wanted to go, maybe because of your friends’ complaints that because of your boyfriend you didn’t go out with them anymore, maybe because finals were coming up and you didn’t have time to have fun in your last months at college. Maybe it was a combination of both.  

But, even if you didn’t want to admit it, it was true. Your time was divided between two things, school and Toji. Yes, sometimes, you would go out with your friends shopping or to a coffee shop, but you preferred not to as they would always try to tell you how your older boyfriend was no good for you. Even when they were excited about the idea in the beginning, as time went on they realized many things that you didn’t. 

Toji was always jealous and possessive, even when he didn’t put into practice what he demanded so much of you. He didn’t like you going out to those college parties, where a lot of hormonal boys would be rolling their dirty eyes at you. But what was now getting on his nerves was how you thought you could just walk away to a party without even asking his opinion. He hated not being in control. 

The good thing—for him—it’s that he knew how to get his way, exactly what he had to say and do to make you submit. 

“In case you no longer want to be with me, I’ll understand.”

At that moment, you felt as if something inside you was breaking into a thousand pieces. Your stomach churned, just as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. 

“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant, I just wanted to—”

“Honey, I know what you meant, if you’d rather go to another man’s house for a party, it would be better if we break up so you can go with a clear mind.”

You stood in the middle of the campus practically shaking, while he was already inside his car, fiddling with the keys between his fingers.

It was funny how just an hour ago he was inside another woman, but here he is, making a bit of drama. That’s how blatant he was.

“Stop it! I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I won’t go.” You said in the middle of your crying, trying to ignore the curious looks of passing students. “I’ll go with you, I’m sorry, it was just a stupid idea.”

A moment of silence formed, where only his breathing and your crying could be heard on the call. You felt your heart want to burst out of your chest as you waited for his answer. 

Toji just wanted to torture you a little, so after keeping quiet for a moment, he decided to answer you while a smirk formed on his face, “That’s my girl.”

You sighed with relief when you heard his words.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, wiping away your tears with your hand. 

“It’s okay, stop crying, sweetie. I’ll pick you up at eight, okay?”

The clock showed ten o’clock, you were on his couch, your body resting on his while you watched a movie. His hands were on your back underneath your shirt, occasionally caressing your skin down to your butt, covered only by your underwear since Toji had shed your shorts moments before. 

Even when his touch felt good, your mind was somewhere else.

“It’s everything okay, baby? You had been unusually quiet since we were in the car.” He whispered, taking your chin in his hand to make you look at him.

“It’s nothing.” Your answer made him frown. It was obvious what was wrong with you, but he wanted to hear it come from your pretty lips.

“What do you mean it’s nothing? Come on, tell me. I’m listening.” He sat with you still on his lap, his hands coming down to caress your thighs.  

“Promise me you won’t be mad at me.”

“Just tell me.” 

You took a deep breath, gaining courage before speaking,

“You scared me today, I really thought you were going to break up with me.” You said with some nervousness in your voice as you fiddled with the gold chain hanging from his neck.

“I would never want to break up with you, you know that. But sometimes it seems like you leave me no choice. You make me believe that you don’t want to be with me.” 

“I want to be with you, more than anything. I just wanted to hang out with my friends.” His grip on your thighs grew stronger with your words, and though you tried, you couldn’t stop the next ones, “I don’t know why that’s such a problem.”

He rolled his eyes before bringing his face dangerously close to yours, you could tell you had angered him. “You wanna know why? Do I really need to explain it?” 

“What bothers me is that you think you have the freedom to do whatever you want when you are with me.” He continued, “My opinion doesn’t matter to you?”

You gulped before answering, “It does.”

“So why are you acting like a bitch? Why was this party so important anyway?” You were looking down into your lap, trying to avoid his gaze, just like a scolded child. He cupped your face, squeezing your cheeks with his hand harder than necessary. “Don’t tell me you were expecting to see someone?”

“What? No!”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t think of any other reason. Is that Satoru guy? That’s why you wanted to go to his fucking party, huh? So he could fuck you.” 

Toji noticed how tears threatened to flow from your eyes. He knew he was exaggerating, you could never cheat on him even by mistake, but his obsession with having control over you was bigger than common sense, and if he needed to create drama, he would.

“No! He’s just my friend, I swear! I’ll never—” You tried to explain, but your words were interrupted by his.

“Shut up.”

He grabbed you by the waist to pull you off his lap and position you on the couch while he stood up to look down at you with his arms crossed, making the veins in them stand out. 

You had always felt much smaller than him, but now it seemed you were so much more.

“Maybe this is what I get for dating a younger woman.”

You felt your soul leave your body, the tears you had been holding back slipped down your cheeks. Where was all this going?

“Don’t say that.”

“I think the best would be to end our relationship here and now.” 

He turned and started walking towards his room, you quickly stood up to follow him and took his arm, making him stop a few steps away.

“Toji! Please… please.” Your voice cracked thanks to your growing tears. “I’d never cheat on you!”

He clicked his tongue and turned to look at you.

“Why are you crying? Shouldn’t you be happy? So you won’t have anyone to stop you from going to parties and fucking other men?” With his free hand he took yours to remove it from his arm. “Take this as a favor.”

No, he couldn’t leave you. He can’t. What would you be without him? You loved him. You needed him. And you would do whatever it took to keep him from leaving. 

So you didn’t think twice when you got down on your knees on the floor and grabbed the edge of his shirt. 

This wasn’t the first time you had gotten down on your knees before Toji, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last.

“Please, don’t leave me.” You begged amid sobs. “Please.”

At that moment you saw yourself reflected in your mother, those nights she begged your father not to leave. It was humiliating. But that didn’t matter, because even if it didn’t work for her, it could work for you, right?

“Why should I?” He questioned, cocking his head. 

“I’m nothing without you, please don’t leave. I love you.” You leaned your head against his leg, tears wetting his pants as your fists wrinkled his shirt. 

Toji almost felt bad. But god, seeing you on your knees begging him not to leave you, his ego went through the roof. He wished you could see how beautiful you looked at that moment. Having that kind of power over someone was such a turn-on that it couldn’t compare to the effect of any drug.

He brought one of his hands to your head, stroking your hair as a kind of comfort as you cried. 

“You love me?” You looked up at him when he whispered his question, he took the opportunity to wipe away your tears with his thumb.

“I do. A lot.” 

Toji smiled mischievously and ran his tongue across his lips before speaking.

“Show me then.”

You understood what he meant, so you quickly grabbed the band of his pants and pulled them down along with his underwear, freeing his half-hard member. You took it in your hand to start stroking it up and down. 

There was no other way you liked to please Toji more than sexually. At this point you were practically an expert in everything he liked, and you were more than proud of it. You liked to make him feel good, whatever the circumstance. And if that’s what he wanted now, you’d be more than glad to do it, much more if it would make him stay.

When he was fully erect you licked the tip which caused him to gasp  and his muscles to tense. You didn’t want to make him wait any longer, so you took him all the way into your mouth at once, moving your head back and forth, flicking your tongue at the same time as you stroked with your hand what didn’t fit in your mouth.

You put it all in your mouth, your nose bumping into his pubic hair, you managed to stick your tongue out and lick his balls. Toji threw his head back, he loved when you did that.

“Shit.” He groaned taking your hair in his fist to keep you still, so he could fuck himself into your mouth. 

His pace was brutal from the start, your tears kept falling as you did your best to breathe through your nose and avoid your gag reflex. You didn’t want to fail him.

“This is what you wanted to do with him? Deepthroat his dick like you do with mine.” He asked between gasps. 

He knew you couldn’t answer with his cock torturing your poor throat, so he continued,

“But you’re mine, right?” He smiled as he closed his eyes, feeling his climax near. “Yes—god—you fucking are.” He mumbled more to himself. 

Toji stopped moments before his orgasm, letting you enjoy a moment of freedom before he forced you to your feet by pulling your hair to kiss you, his tongue colliding with yours and biting your lip to such an extent that he could taste a little blood. 

He started walking without breaking the kiss until he was in front of the couch, where he turned you around and pushed you with your back facing him, your knees rested in the plush while you supported your body with your hands on the backrest. 

Your boyfriend remained standing to practically tear your underwear, which ended up poorly hanging from your leg. Then, he leaned in close enough until his lips brushed against your ear. One of his hands took your hair in a tight grip and the other began to caress the skin of your ass.  

“It makes me sick just thinking that you were going to put a party over me today.” He whispered, moving his hand to your crotch and begin to make circles on your clit with two of his fingers. “Who do you think you are?”

“I’m sorry.” You moaned, closing your eyes to the stimulation. Tears kept coming out of your eyes, it was amazing how you had never stopped crying. What he said kept piercing your mind.

“I know you’re sorry, baby, I know you are. But I can’t just forget about that.” Toji inserted his fingers inside you, moving them slowly in and out, wetting them with your fluids. “It just makes me wonder if I’m wasting my time with you.”

“Please, don’t say that.” His words hurt you like stabs in the chest, and he said them for that very purpose. He took the fight too far? No doubt about it. Did he care? You fucking wish.

“I can say whatever I want.”

He withdrew his fingers to take his cock and align it with your entrance, sliding the tip across your labia to lubricate himself. It didn’t take long when he pushed himself all the way inside you, groaning at the sensation of your walls around him.

He grabbed you by the hips to support himself so he could start ramming you without mercy. The sound of skin colliding echoed in the room, your body moved back and forth by the force of him thrusting his hips.

You tried to suppress your moans as you felt him sink deep inside you, but it became almost impossible when one of his hands reached down to stimulate your clit again. 

“Fuck.” He moaned when he felt you squeeze him. How could he not be obsessed with you when you were so tight? 

Toji placed his free hand on your neck as he pressed his chest against your back in an attempt to feel you closer to him. You could hear his accelerated breathing in your ear causing you to tingle. 

You felt your orgasm begin to build in your belly, he knew your body better than anyone, so he pressed his fingers a little harder and quickened his pace to make you cum faster. 

You threw your head forward on the backrest when you finally reached your high, your legs faltered but Toji didn’t give you time to recover after the explosion of pleasure you felt as he chased his own climax, feeling in heaven when you came around his cock.

He put one leg up on the couch to give himself better support so he could thrust deeper into you as he moved his hands to dig his nails into the flesh of your hips. 

“I’m gonna cum.” He announced amidst his groans. 

You didn’t even get a chance to tell him to pull out when he was already filling your pussy with his warm cum. He even continued to slide in and out at a slow pace until he was sure he was done. 

Toji stayed inside you for a few minutes while he caught his breath before pulling out of you, he also spent a few seconds appreciating how his white liquid came out of your hole before adjusting his pants and taking off his shirt to use it to clean the excess fluids from your bodies.

Once he finished, he tossed the shirt across the room to sit on the couch next to you, patting his lap as a cue for you to sit on it. 

“Come here.” 

You did as he said, his hands automatically going to the skin of your ass to caress it as he began to leave wet kisses on your neck. You brought your hands to his head to stroke his black hair gently in an attempt to relax him. 

His green eyes met yours, he took advantage of the eye contact to appreciate your beauty. God, he felt so lucky to have a woman like you wrapped around his finger. 

“You’re so pretty.” He sighed, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. You smiled at his praise, your cheeks blushing slightly. 

“Toji? Is everything okay between us now?” You asked nervously. 

“It is, honey, don’t worry.” He replied squeezing your cheek a little. “You just have to understand that I want the best for both of us. What you did today made me believe that my opinion doesn’t matter to you.”

“It does matter. What you think is much more important than a stupid party.” You said, and he gave a half smile.

He placed a short kiss on your cheek before adding, “And I have to admit, it makes me insecure about you going to those kinds of parties, full of college boys that you might like better than this old man you’re dating.”

Yes, he was playing the victim. But you didn’t see it that way, you just saw your poor boyfriend feeling insecure because of you.

“I only want you, you know that, I don’t care about other guys, least of all those immature college guys.” You gave him a short kiss on the lips before continuing, “I’m sorry again, I don’t want you to feel that way ever again because of me.”

“It’s okay.” He shrugged.

“I love you.” You said wrapping your arms around his torso, resting your head on his shoulder. 

When you could no longer see his face, Toji smiled mischievously. Once again he had made you cry, once again he had made you beg on your knees for him, once again he had gotten away with taking advantage of your vulnerability. He destroyed you once again and still didn’t feel bad about it. 

He kissed your head before whispering in your ear, 

“I love you too.”

#𐀔 — mar wrote this. #— one shots #— jjk #fushiguro toji x reader #toji fushiguro #toji fic #jjk x reader #toji smut #toji x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen #toji x you #jjk toji

[lloydfrontera]

wait lmao what I didn't know there was such a skip. I'm sorry this is comedy to me. so you're telling me they have this crazy ass dimension-jumping shenanigans with Javier tearing up as he finally finds Lloyd, his best friend, the most important person in his life, while it's a mutual statement for the both of them, and then we get no dialogue. and skip to Lloyd getting shoved into a hetero romance with no build up. sorry I can't believe this is real. this sounds like a joke and I choose to treat is as such. this is the most hilarious ending and the marriage now feels even more out of place hdufiskaoa9o

OH MY FUCKING GOD RIGHT?!?!?!! it is weird isn't it???? i'm not being crazy for feeling like it's a weird ass choice??? i felt like i was going insane!! i swear to god i felt like i was being gaslighted when i read it!!! there was no way that was the ending!! there was no way that ch 401 ended with one of the most romantic and heartfelt scenes i have ever read and then the next chapter just????? did a time skip where none of that was acknowledged and lloyd was just fucking married off to alicia??? completely off-screen if i may add!

i made a post about it before but i simply need to rant all over again oh my god

general warning for spoilers because i'm about to dissect the entire novel through a llojavi lens

AGAIN. SPOILERS WARNING FOR THE ENDING OF TGED.

i literally cannot express how much of a mid fuck it is when you realize that lloyd and javier's relationship is very much Thee Slowburn of tged. like. this is an indisputable fact. even if you don't think there's anything romantic between them, which, holy fuck that's such a fucking reach one must be really be in denial to not see it but whatever, even then you simply cannot argue that their relationship isn't the most important one in the entire story.

javier is the very first person lloyd talks to in the first chapter. he's the first person that welcomes him into his new life. he's the one he has to work the hardest to endear himself to. he's the one he spends the most time with. he's the one that follows him around literally everywhere he goes.

from the very beginning their relationship is given a special attention that few other things get in the plot.

through the entire story we get constant moments of them getting to know each other as people and getting closer as a result. they're constantly in each other's thoughts, which is very natural as they're in each other's company almost 24/7. it is actually hard to find a chapter where they not talking to each other or at the very least together. i cannot emphasize enough how,,, enmeshed and entangled they are with one another as characters. i mean it when i say they are a set do not separate them.

it takes lloyd 222 chapters to even admit to himself that javier is his friend and that he wants to keep him safe not because he's the protagonist of the story or useful to him or anything like that but simply because he cares for him and doesn't want him to die. because, and i quote, 'he thought he'd always be with javier for the rest of his life. just like now, he thought they'd spend all their time together moving forward. and like they always did, they'd be by each other's side during hard times. happy moments. relaxed days. they'd share all these moments as they exchanged insults and corny jokes, growing old as a lazy lord of a fiefdom and his knight. lloyd always thought so. the thought just came naturally, without much effort from him, much like breathing. lloyd believed that javier would always remain by his side as that was how it had been until now.' (ch222) <- actual textual quote. btw. if you even care.

and then. it takes javier 320 chapters, a hundred chapters more, to realize that he cares about lloyd much more than a knight cares about his lord's son. because he, and once again i quote, 'is [his] true master in [his] heart. lloyd was his friend. and now, javier wanted to protect lloyd. he would sincerely protect him with everything he had.' <- this is, if i may add some context, said as javier is fighting against a goddamn angel, literally heaven's will, to protect lloyd. after figuring out lloyd is a fake. that he's been lying to javier for several years about almost everything including who he is. and yet. this is what javier feels for him.

they are the definition of a slowburn. it takes them this long to even admit they are friends. and this is with us getting to see them together almost every chapter of the way. we get to see every step of the way. we see their relationship develop with all manner of detail.

and then. when you think you cannot get even more dramatic about them. guess what the major conflict of the plot is. guess fucking what the last obstacle for the story to get a happy ending is.

let me set the scene for you:

lloyd has just finished the jewel of truth, the artifact that will get him the answer he seeks on how to stop the restoration of fate, how he can stop destiny from making the original events of the novel come true and destroy everything he has worked and kill everyone he loves. he has javier at his side, who rushed to join him underwater to make sure he was safe and sound while using it, and he can't help but fondly think how lucky he is to have javier, who is loyal and true and has never abandoned him.

a quote of lloyd's thoughts in this scene:

That’s why, you bastard. I’m going to take care of you until the very end. Once I, your wise and older friend, solve the restoration of destiny problem, you’re going to enjoy the rest of your life by my side in peace. [...] He smiled at Javier and thought to himself. You’re my only friend, Javier. I couldn’t have overcome all the obstacles in front of me without your help. So, my trustworthy and reliable comrade, stick with me until I become a lazy lord and you become my personal guard. I hope we will be able to grow old together… -ch 327

as you can see. he's once again planning on spending the rest of his life with javier. canonically. not even an interpretation this is straight up textual i cannot emphasize enough

and then. the jewel of truth gives him the answer. how to stop the restoration of fate. it's very easy. very simple solution in fact.

either lloyd or javier have to die or otherwise vanish from existence.

that's it. there can only be one protagonist in the world and because of everything lloyd has done he's now being acknowledged by fate as the protagonist of the story along with javier. which cannot stand.

so that's the only thing stopping lloyd from getting his happy ending. he just,,, has to either kill his best friend or kill himself.

let me rephrase this from a narrative perspective: the major conflict of the story is now lloyd facing either the choice of letting everything he's achieved and everyone he loves be destroyed. losing his best friend, the person he cares the most about and has been developing an extremely close relationship through the entire plot. or dying himself.

lloyd of course then spends the rest of the plot trying to find a way to avoid having to die. that's literally what the rest of the novel is about. lloyd trying by all means possible seeking a way to not having to die. because at no point, does he ever consider letting javier die in his place even an option. he doesn't want to die of course, but he never saw javier sacrificing himself as the solution to that problem.

the entire conflict of the last part of the novel is lloyd finding a way for him and javier to be able to remain together without either of them having to sacrifice their lives for the other.

he doesn't succeed.

they end up in a battle down in hell where both of them try to give for one another leading to this absolutely delightful parallel

so fucking tasty oh my god i still go crazy when i see this set of illustrations actually

lloyd wins btw. he gets to sacrifice his life for javier. to javier's absolute heartbreak.

but lloyd doesn't die. he does end up stuck in korea tho, a place he would've rather died than go back to, so he has that going on for him. he's back in his goshiwon, absolutely heartbroken and without knowing what to do.

and then we end up with that scene. javier at his doorstep, having crossed dimensions, tearing up as he sees him and tells him how much he's missed him, looking at him with this face:

now. let's pause here. let's take a moment. take in everything i've just explained. everything that has happened to get to this point.

be honest with me. what would you say is the most natural way the story can progress from here.

take into account all that i have recounted and that i skipped so many other things of the same nature so we wouldn't be here all day.

what do you as a reader would expect to happen next

well, i'll tell you:

cut to black we're now an unspecified amount of time later lloyd has already had all the important conversations we've been waiting to see the entire time off screen and is now preparing himself for his wedding to alicia that we will also not get to see by the way

and you know what the funniest thing is. you know what is the cherry on top.

fucking guess who's the last person we see him talk with.

guess who's the person he ends the novel sharing a smile with.

yeah. Yeah.

i really don't know what else to say. i don't know how else to explain how insane this feels. how incredibly dissonant it comes across. i don't want to use the worse gaslighting like this but it's the closest word i can find to describe what it feels like. i feel like i'm being told something is happening when i can see with my own eyes it is not. or rather that i'm seeing something happen and i'm being told that no it is not and that i'm making it up.

i don't know what bk moon was going for. i really don't. especially when this is what he has to say about chapter 401 aka the chapter with javier coming to find lloyd in korea

clearly he feels very strongly about this scene too. it's the one he's been wanting to show the most, he must have analyzed it from every angle possible, must have put special care to get across what he wanted to convey with it.

so why does it feel like the last true chapter of the novel is meant to,,, undercut the feeling of it?? it almost feels as if the last chapter is telling us 'yeah yeah those two are extremely devoted to each other and would and have given their lives for one another and plan on growing old at each other's sides but don't worry :) it's nothing more than them being pals :) just two guys being really good friends :) see, lloyd is even getting married to a woman that's his real happy ending he's not gay or anything :)'

and this is not me saying that two friends cannot be devoted to each other. absolutely not of course friends can love each other platonically and that be more than enough to justify their devotion to one another.

but. it feels weird when the entire novel is dedicated to building up the relationship between lloyd and javier, taking so much time to make us really feel like their relationship is growing at a realistic pace, take almost 3/4 of the novel to even make them come to terms with how much they care for one another, spend actual years following their development,,, and then make lloyd just marry someone else. someone the novel really didn't spend enough time with to justify him developing feels for her.

this is not a diss against alicia i have nothing against her i just don't... buy that lloyd developed romantic feelings for her. much less that he acted on them that easily.

this is a man who took 222 chapters and several years in-universe to even accept that javier, the person he spent all day with, with whom he spoke almost every single day, who he had risked his life for and had been saved by several times at that point, was even his friend.

and now i'm expected to believe he's in love with someone else who, by comparison, he meets a couple of times and spends a little amount of time with.

well. i don't! it's not in character, it wasn't properly built up in the text and truthfully they don't have enough chemistry to make up for it.

i don't know what happened there. i don't know why bk moon decided to add a romance when the novel didn't need it. i don't know why he chose to make it happen between two characters that didn't have a relationship as deep as the one he spent the entire novel building up and promoting as the most important one. which may i add was between his two protagonists. y'know. the ones the novel is supposed to be centered around.

i don't know. i don't know what happened. i don't know if it was censorship, last minute panic, fear of opposition or rejection or actual obliviousness to what he had written looked like, i simply do not know.

i really hope it wasn't homophobia tho that would absolutely suck lmao

but uh. yeah. i do think the ending is very funny when you put it like that askhdsjkfds

#hey i got an ask #Anonymous #tged #the greatest estate developer #tged spoilers #lloyd frontera #llojavi #javier asrahan #long post #i don't what happened i started typing and suddenly all of this came out of me #i was possessed #most of what i said here i have said before but it's now all in one post #and i have So Much left to say about this topic but i really cannot make this post longer i am so embarrassed already aksjdhk #i feel a little hollow i need to shitpost to get back to normal oh my god #this is. why it takes me so long to answer asks btw. i literally cannot shut up. #i apologize but i cannot promise to change

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

“What hair product I think each svt member is”

Summery: a holiday fic that has absolutely nothing to do with the holidays! Wanted to try my hand at writing something a bit different and thought this was a good idea to start. Not really comedy but amusing none the less! (idk if what I wrote makes sense hopefully yall are picking up what I’m putting down) approximately: ten minute read

A/n: THIS IS NOT MY ORIGINAL IDEA! (In a way it is buuuutttt still) I can’t find the author who wrote the “what piece of furniture svt are” or something to that effect so they’re the ones who gave me the idea so if yall find them please tag them unless I do first!

warningz/info: mentions of pain, mentions of chocolate, I think what, three curse words? y'all let me know if I should start keeping them to a minimum or remove them entirely because I know some people are uncomfortable with them! I feel like the spacing between paragraphs is weird in this fic but oh well. no idea how this is gonna go over and im scared that I tagged it with "x reader". plus I dont know if anyone would read/enjoy it but I had loads of fun writing it! as always, if you did like it, please leave some love like comments and or reblogs!

~this is simply a piece of fiction. My imagination onto “paper. This is in no way is mean to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone.~

•••••••••••••••••••

>Seungcheol<

gel. Sticks to you like glue once you find each other (romantic music starts playing in the hair care isle when you pick up your favorite gel) everyone has their preferred brand/ look they worship. Thicc. Either smells putrid and chemical like or good enough to transport you to a magical land of chocolate, pink grass and purple clouds

>Jeonghan<

he is a Bobby pin. And I will provide no further explanation on this except that he holds you together but will stab you lmao

>Shua<

an Afro pick/ hair pick. Its what everyone’s looking for: that little somen’ somen’. That little poof we all desire. Also scalp massages :)

>Jun<

wide tooth comb. My fellow thick haired/ curly haired people will know about this one 😭 this shit can be mean to your scalp tugging on your hair and UGH helps you greatly and is a necessity but damn… that’s all I gotta say

>Hoshi<

Refresher product/ moisture product. wakes you up in the morning. Gives you a reason to NOT look like you just rolled outta bed even though you did. For most this is one ofthe holy grails in life. What would I do without it? Makes us all smile even at 4:00 am because oh my god I look better after I slapped this in. Just all around a day-brightener

>Wonwoo<

curl cream. Grounding. Has many different looks n stuff

>Woozi<

a rat tail comb. Everyone should have one. Versatile, used for many different things. Good for every sort of job and is a natural to be honest and is small but mighty lol

>DK<

a satin/ silk bonnet. And no, not one of those that most  moms wear with the lace trim. Those end up at the foot of your bed by the morning. The ones with the thick elastic. I choose this cause it goes by many different names, just like him lol just has that comfy homey feel to it

>Mingyu<

hair mask. Made at home with some questionable ingredients. Seriously sometimes I don’t think he’s real lol 

>Hao<

a denman brush. It sounds to helpful and great. And it is great!…. When you figure out how to use it. Hard to figure out but once you get the hang of it you’ll never go back (another thing my fellow curly haired babes will understand)

>Seungkwan<

co wash. A little something extra, a boost of energy, if you will. a well kept secret but also a well known fact 

>Vernon<

hair tie. Easy to loose but also easy to find. especially in places where youd think: “why the fuck would it end up here?” Like idk man, but you should definitely check the dark corner collecting lint— that’s where they always are

>Dino<

leave in conditioner because with use over time it makes your hair (you) healthier

~End~

a/n: annnnnnnnddddd thats it! hope y'all enjoyed this disaster of a fic lmao if you liked it, please leave some love like comments or reblogging!

stay safe, y'all!

2023 ©️copyright for shutupheathersorryheatherr do NOT repost, steal, or translate my work even if you give me credit

taglist: @itz-yerin

#Seventeen #seventeen dk #mingyu #wonwoo #dino seventeen #jeonghan #seungkwan #minghao #svt woozi #choi seungcheol #svt vernon #hoshi #seventeen joshua #seventeen jun #ghosts writing #dk x reader #mingyu x reader #wonwoo x reader #svt joshua x reader #dino x reader #jeonghan x reader #seungkwan x reader #minghao x reader #woozi x reader #seungcheol x reader #vernon x reader #hoshi x reader #jun x reader #Svt x poc reader #minghao x poc reader

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Staged 2 thoughts!! (this will take a Year because I have a Lot of feelings)

tl; dr at the end

Hmmm I don’t see how it’s a love story yet

Staged 1 works well enough on its own but the second season is really essential as a companion piece upping the emotional ante (which is exactly how I feel about Good Omens 1 & 2 lol)

The opening scene mindfuck; The meta! We have reached levels of irony not previously seen possible

Who do I thank for the tacky Zoom interview show background? It deserves top billing

HE DOESN’T WANT THE GOLDFISH TO BE LONELY (metaphor) and then it FUCKING DIES

Celeb cameos in season 1 being all “hey! I like you!” in season 2 like “you are tearing them apart. I hate you. scum

Also the themeing of Michael Sheen and David Tennant being on their own “side” VS everyone else……….. Simon Mr. Writer Sir i see u and unfortunately i am in your walls

The writing feeling less theater-y works for the meta and I’m wondering whether they always had a second season in mind or if it’s just that well written

Was really hoping for a Colin Firth & Hugh Grant cameo ngl :/

The music didn’t annoy me as much this season since it was more of the horn oomp-pah-pah than the piano. Idk maybe my mind just changed

I didn’t know Whoopie Goldberg could be terrifying but here we are (also I forgot her name isn’t Whoopie)

“I think the wizard fucked your ass” ???

Setting up the awards and the baby was peak *pops P* comedy 🤌 Definitely needed since it gets Sad as it goes on

Welsh kink spotted!!! And so fucking blantant I was scandalized

“I’ll shove it up my ass where the rest of the excrement goes” Michael casually asking David to peg him. Nice

More bad magic. More pls and ty

Also moar Nina pls. T’was but a brief beautiful bluster in the wind

Tbh missed a lot of Michael & David’s back-and-forths VS season 1 but I get that’s… the point

Everyone agreeing David is whiney and annoying lmao get wreck’t

Also I forgot they don’t have air conditioning in Englandland ‘cause my man is sweating in every scene he’s in (unless that was intentional in which case… go on…)

The ladies!! That meta ending with the Bechdel test… I see you…

Still love Georgia and Simon’s sister (who I apparently don’t respect enough to google her name); I like Anna now too! She’s got this kinda quiet sarcastic edge I didn’t notice the first time. They all played off each other well in their 3 some (phrasing) scenes

Big amongus sus react that Anna has better chemistry with the two of them than with Michael of which there is literally zero chemistry. Compared to Georgia and David who are just electric with each other it’s honestly distracting

Actual torture watching them break down as other actors play them and drive their friendship apart, it’s fascinating to watch especially on top of it being themselves but, like, not we swear

“Am I your best friend” “No” Fuckin REJECTED !! looser!!!

Oh huh I can see how this is a love story, interesting

The David Tennant fanboy (he is a Real actor I just can’t think of his name) served juicy vomiting SFX realness

“So you’ve made love with him” BROTHER

It took me 87 years to realize warthog and mongoose were in reference to Timon and Pumbah lol <- I am not looking up how to spell this

The bannister being part of the bookshelf why did this make me laugh this hard

Ken Jeong actually reaching into the heart of everything and casually tearing into it Temple of Doom style and leaving everything to ruin lmao

I miss people getting too close to me (feral noises)

Ewan McGregor is cute and I am shallow 🥰

AU where Simon Pegg and Nick Frost did Staged and honestly it would still work aside from being dangerously heterosexual

Simon & Nick doing the Staged 1 back and forth but literally? mmmm that’s sum gud meta

Oh right I forgot the actual writer Simon’s in it too. He’s still good. I like his Zoom tantrum

Jim Parsons unconvincingly looking for his phone after he casually tells David that he and Michael are obviously in love and everyone sees it lmao

David Tennant has the unique ability to make this absolutely insane face reserved specifically for the emotion “oh shit I’m in love with Michael Sheen” which like

I could kill the Good Omens costume department rn I stg take off those fucking sunglasses I’m so mad

Ohhhhhhhh yeah this is a love story

The Frozen snowman being the big bad final boss of cunt, oof you gotta love a good villain

Michael’s monologue the only one not in the kitchen area just breaking down completely I mean *claps until my hands fall off* he put his whole pussy into it. The frustration? The despair? I mean it felt like an audition monologue (in a good way) he walked through the valley in the shadow and death and came back a broken man with a fuzzier beard

CATE BLANCHETT ZOOM SNIPE

Apparently people didn’t like Phoebe Waller Bridge in the new Indiana Jones movie which I haven’t seen but idk I thought she was pretty funny and hot here. *ding*

MOOMIN MUG SPOTTED

The use of travel as a metaphor for feeling stuck emotionally *clenches fist*

“I like silence” *screaming from the other room*

“It’s like gas filling a room” <- fascinating way to describe their dynamic, it’s specifically referring to aimless conversations that snowball and “fill up a room” but it could also refer to the palpable energy between them— like even through the abstraction of a computer screen there’s this magnetic force that’s just riveting, it’s hard to describe

“We haven’t talked about love” > Seen at 2:17 PM LMAO

Michael alone with the black frame lingering shot. Acting and editing and directing choices so simple and on point. everything hurts

Struggling to say goodbye on Zoom physically reaching out unable to leave the frame that whole scene was just. You can just feel the love through the screen, it’s so layered and intimate despite essentially being “No you hang up first”

Zoom wedding! He stayed!!

I wonder if that’s Michael Sheen’s actual best friend. That would be cute

Anna whispering and telling him “nah I know your bestie is literally an hour away but he can’t come over lol” like??? why? let them love each other I cannot handle this villain arc

“I have to bring that one otherwise my tits will explode” Wait wasn’t she drinking earlier though? #ShivRoyMoment

“I was standing outside your job for four hours because I love you” <- dog from Up moment

Yes he is legally a Hobbit

The car window as an abstraction like the Zoom boxes *continued feral noises*

The direction of David putting his hand on the window and Michael walking away only then revealing Anna and the baby far in the background? We’re in 3 dimensions and they are all painful!!

Okay yeah I get it it’s a love story but I thought this was a comedy haha right guys why does everything hurt

It ends on that meta moment between David and Georgia which I can only assume is to set up for the third season although I dunno if that was planned at the time as well. It’s ambiguous but not distracting if they didn’t make another one

tl; dr: Staged 2 is a unique and excellent addition to Staged 1. The added meta textual layer of the other celebrities breaking down their relationship based on Staged 1 allows for a lot of “hiding behind my hands so embarrassed” moments, but also by pitting them against each other, it reveals their actual love for each other through the bickering. Season 1 on its own is a nice vignette of its time but season 2 with it adds a tension and intimacy that really takes both over the top

Kinda dreading watching Staged 3 since it seems like people overwhelmingly like it less than the other two because of the loss of the Zoom format and constant arguing, but I’m already in this far deep so I’ll stick the landing

To wit— awwwwwww, they love each other!

#this took me hours to write lmaooo #i could’ve been writing my fic or the new story idea or real work but nah. this is more important rn baybeee #hope i didn’t forget anything ‘cause i’m #<- NOT going back #staged #staged 2 #bbc staged #staged bbc #michael sheen #david tennant #simon evans #whoopie goldberg #cate blanchett #georgia tennant #anna lundberg #ewan mcgregor #i’m just adding the names i remember lol #phoebe waller bridge #good omens #jim parsons #bbc #ken jeong #<- one of the best parts hands down. he gave it to ‘em #simon pegg #nick frost #jfc I don’t read enough my spelling is atrocious and i can’t write coherent sentences haha lol @ the death of the english language within me #I FORGOT ABOUT MICHAEL PALIN AYYY LMAO

[sinsiriuslyemo]

Title: Sleep Just To Dream

Pairing: Jim Gordon/Reader

Rating: PG13 (language, crime scene and dark humor)

Summary: Sometimes your dreams were so vivid that they would affect your mood even after you were awake. After you dream of catching Jim in a compromised situation, you have a hard time letting go of the jealousy that follows.

Notes: This is meant to be a fluffy comedy, and was once again, an idea I woke up with.

Warning: none, but I guess a dark sense of humor since I'm joking about infidelity? Yeah, idk

A sharp intake of air was what woke you, the alarm just also happened to be going off, but it was the contents of your dream that had jolted you awake. Your brows knitted and you slowly turned in Jim’s arms as he too roused from sleep. When his eyes fell on you, a smile came to his lips while he rubbed his hand over his face.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he said, the last word nearly swallowed by a yawn.

He had greeted you the same way every morning for a year, and usually it made you smile at the cozy feeling it left you with. But that morning, you may as well not have heard it.

“You fucked Brooke Shields?” you asked him pointedly.

His brows mirrored your own as he looked back at you. “I’ve never even met Brooke Shields.”

“I saw you!” you insisted.

“Honey, I think maybe you were just dreaming,” he said, reaching for his glasses on the nightstand and putting them on.

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t real!”

Tilting his head as his eyes narrowed, Jim tried to suppress a chuckle. It didn’t happen terribly often, but sometimes you would wake up with a vivid memory of your dreams throughout the night. Usually they were just wacky enough for you to easily dismiss their contents, but other times you would carry over the reactions your dreamself had into the real world.

“It’s not funny, Jim,” you mumbled sadly, moving for the first time to get up and shut the alarm off.

“Oh, baby, come on,” he replied, whipping the covers off of him as he got out of bed. “Don’t be sad, it wasn’t real. It was only a dream.”

But you hadn’t heard him, still holding tight to the images you had seen before you’d opened your eyes that morning. “Why would you do that?”

He sighed behind you as you went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, pouting to yourself. Logically, you knew it was only a dream, but it had felt so real in the moment, and it was still vivid in your memory of it. You, getting home early, excited to spend the night with Jim, eating dinner together and snuggling by the fireplace. Only to find him in the kitchen, balls-deep in Brooke Shields. Dream-Jim had been surprised to see you home so early while Dream-Brooke bit her bottom lip to keep from smiling, moving much slower than Dream-Jim, who was pulling up his pants as quickly as he could. The fact that the kitchen was suddenly hot pink from floor to ceiling and that Jim’s mustache was more Gomez Addams than the Jim Gordon you knew didn’t even register. All you could see was your boyfriend with another woman.

It sounded beyond ridiculous. Not only because the most famous person you had ever known Jim to be acquainted with was Bruce Wayne, but also because you knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Jim would never be unfaithful, to you or anyone really. So then why couldn’t you let this go? Why were you still allowing the image of his bare ass rutting between Brooke’s legs, kissing her neck, saying things to her that he only said to you to linger in your mind?

You stepped into the shower and let the water run over your head, hoping it would wash away the horrible feeling. Jim came into the bathroom from the corner of your eye, tentatively opening the shower door and peering inside.

“I did not fuck Brooke Shields,” he said.

You reached for the shampoo. “I know but you did.”

“Baby, it was just a bad dream, I would never do that to you.”

“I know that too.” You lathered your head, shifting your eyes away from him.

“Can I come in?” he asked, giving you his always effective puppy-dog eyes.

You bobbed your shoulders before rinsing the shampoo out of your hair. “Okay.”

“Didn’t you dream about Sean Connery not too long ago?” he asked, pulling off his clothes and stepping into the shower with you. “I didn’t get upset at that, I know it was only a dream.”

“That was different,” you replied. “I dreamt that we were on a mission together and he was hitting on me. I didn’t dream he was plowing me next to the stove.”

“Next to the stove?!” he asked in surprise.

“While you pan seared steaks no less.”

“Well, that’s just an accident waiting to happen.” He stepped under the water to wet his hair before picking up the shampoo.

“And why did you paint our kitchen pink?”

He grimaced. “You know I hate pink.”

“Oh, was that Brooke’s idea?”

“Yeah, it was likely her idea.”

You turned to look at him, and it seemed he could no longer contain his laughter. Grabbing the bar of soap, you began washing yourself.

“I’m glad it’s so amusing to you.”

“Oh Y/N, come on,” he groaned, a smile still on his face, rinsing his hair before he pulled you against him. “You’re being ridiculous. I would never fuck Brooke Shields.”

You tilted your head, eyes narrowing slightly. Despite your jealousy at that moment, even you could concede that Brooke Shields was objectively hot.

He must’ve reconsidered his statement, because he said, “Okay, fine, yes, she’s beautiful but I didn’t fuck Brooke Shields, and isn’t that the more important fact?”

“But you would,” you said.

“No, I wouldn’t, I’m with you,” he answered without hesitation.

Sighing softly, you nodded and rinsed off, stepping out of the shower to grab a towel.

“Y/N —”

“It’s fine, Jim, you didn’t fuck Brooke Shields. I get it,” you replied, walking out of the bathroom. You heard him mutter, “For fuck’s sake” under his breath. You knew you were being ridiculous, but the jealous wave that had come over you upon seeing your boyfriend in the arms of a gorgeous, six-foot supermodel who had been named one of People’s most beautiful people in the world three times — even if only in a dream — had soured your morning before it had even begun.

You tried to let it go and managed to get through breakfast and the drive to the precinct without mentioning Brooke or the dream you'd had. It wasn’t until you were at a crime scene later that morning that it came up again.

“Vic is Jerolyn Hines, twenty-four years old, lives alone. Looks like she took a nosedive from the roof,” Flass said as you and Stephens walked up from having looked in the victim’s apartment and canvassed her neighbors. “No prints, no witnesses.”

Jim sighed heavily and looked from Flass to the two of you. “Tell me you got more than we did.”

“Just that she’s been a bit jumpy lately,” Stephens answered. “No suicide note, but there may have been a struggle in that apartment. We got some samples of blood and spit just off the kitchen. Oh, and she just started doing runway work for Marcia Van Reese.”

“The fashion designer?” Jim asked.

“Yeah, she spotted our vic at a cafe off of twenty-third street. Apparently she’s known for finding talent in unusual places. Jerolyn’s been acting since she was a kid, mostly soap commercials and print ads.”

“Like Brooke Shields,” you said.

Jim narrowed his eyes at you as Stephens continued, “Anyway, we think maybe Van Reese recognized her from her previous work, offered her a job in her new runway show.”

“What about boyfriends?” Jim asked.

“Neighbor across the hall said she just started seeing a guy last month, but he hasn’t been around for at least a couple of weeks,” you answered. “She had a message on her machine from him. He’s in Paris till tomorrow.”

Letting out another sigh, Jim nodded. “Alright. Finish up here. Flass, get those samples to the lab as soon as you can. Who’s alerting next of kin?”

The three of you lowered your eyes. Notifying family members of their loved one’s death was always one of the worst parts of the job, one that none of you wanted to volunteer for.

“Y/L/N, you and me.” Jim looked at the other two detectives. “We’ll see you two back at the precinct.”

Stephens nodded dutifully. “You got it, Sarge.”

Gesturing with his head for you to follow him, Jim walked toward his car. It wasn’t until you were both inside that he spoke as he turned on the ignition. “Have you still not let go of that dream?”

“I just don’t understand why dream-you would do that,” you said with a bob of your shoulders.

“Because dream-me is clearly an idiot,” he answered. “Have you looked in the mirror lately, baby? You are way more beautiful than Brooke Shields.”

“Don’t patronize me, Gordon,” you replied, shaking your head.

“I’m not!” Glancing at you as he drove, he reached over and took your hand. “What do I need to do to prove to you that you have nothing to be jealous about?”

“I am not jealous,” you said. You knew it was a lie, but you felt foolish being jealous of a woman neither of you had ever met, and who you had only seen in a dream.

“Oh really?” he asked, a smirk causing his mustache to twitch. “Because it seems that way to me.”

“Well, maybe I am, okay? It’s Brooke-fucking-Shields! Have you seen her?! She’s gorgeous!”

“You're gorgeous,” he replied. “Not to mention real.”

“She’s so tall.”

“I like how short you are.”

“She’s a supermodel.”

“Yeah, but I bet she can’t handle a glock like you.”

“She’s been the subject of just about every guy’s fantasies for years!”

“I was actually more of a Farrah Faucet guy in my younger days to tell you the truth,” he answered.

“Not helping!”

“Okay, Y/N, listen to me, you stubborn woman —”

“Stubborn woman with a gun, so tread lightly.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “You have nothing to be jealous about. I have never slept with Brooke Shields, nor have I ever wanted to. That guy in your dream, that wasn’t me.”

You thought for a moment, internalizing his words as your eyes landed on the way his fingers were perfectly slotted between yours. “He did have a really stupid Gomez Addams mustache.”

“See? It wasn’t me,” he replied.

“And who fucks next to a hot stove?”

“I’ll tell you who doesn’t,” he answered, pointing to himself with the thumb on the hand holding the steering wheel. “This guy.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. “You would literally never.”

“Of course not,” he said, pulling up to your destination. Reaching across his lap, he put the car in park, his other hand still holding yours. Bringing it up to his lips, he left a kiss on the back. “I love you so much, honey. I don’t care if it was you in a room with a hundred Brooke Shields, I’d pick you every single time. You know that, right?”

The familiar warmth that fell over you any time he expressed how he felt about you was a welcomed sensation, especially since you’d been lingering on your jealousy since you’d woken up. “Yeah, I know.”

Your eyes shifted to the townhouse across the street, where your victim’s parents lived, the warm feeling quickly dissipating.

“I hate this part of the job,” you mumbled.

“Me too,” he replied. “But we have to do it.”

“I know,” you said. “Hey…” You put a hand on his upper arm, holding him in the car a moment longer. “I’m sorry I was so weird this morning. Sometimes it just takes me a little bit to snap all the way out of a dream.”

“I know,” he replied, smiling at you. “I love how weird you are,” he said, leaning toward you to capture your lips in a brief kiss. “Keeps me on my toes.”

“Good, cause I don’t know how to fix it.”

“There’s nothing to fix,” he replied. “Come on, let’s get this over with. With any luck, we’ll get a lead from the lab.”

“God, I hope so, this is the third murder this week,” you replied. “I already have one other open case, I don’t want another.”

“Maybe after we get home later, we can spend some time together. Watch a movie, take our minds off everything.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

You started to unbuckle your seatbelt, as he did the same.

“What do you think? Blue Lagoon?” he teased.

You shook your head, hand on the handle to open your door. “Too soon.”

#jim gordon x reader #jim gordon fanfic #jim gordon #brooke shields #gary oldman fanfiction #gary oldman

[11x13kyle]

what are the parents' honest thoughts on fireside and catg podcasts?? and how do linda and stephen react to butters cheating scandal

this is a GREAT question! i’m gonna expand to the nonpodcasters too btw.

butters’ parents: they are beyond humiliated by his very existence. the second he moves out their relationship starts to fizzle out, going from occasional talks and sometimes seeing each other on holidays to no contact at all and only linda acknowledging that he’s even their son. by the time the cheating scandal (and therefore his being gay) comes out, neither of them acknowledge him. as far as they’re concerned, he’s not their son anymore. when asked about him, they play dumb. he used to send them money but he doesn’t anymore. they never asked about this either because this requires contacting their son who isn’t their son. never an official disownment. and it hurts for butters even more because he didn’t even get the closure of his dad screaming at him about how much he sucks, it was just quiet. overall BAD situation.

kyle’s parents: they’re so embarrassed of him. constantly talking about how ike is a LAWYER and has a REAL job even though kyle is objectively more successful. sheila at least is occasionally nice about it because that’s her baby but gerald doesn’t even try to hide his disappointment. kyle is a failson to him and this kind of predated him doing fireside so now it’s just WORSE. permafailson. kyle tries so so hard to impress them and it does nothing, he will always be the disappointing son who had the potential to do so much more and instead is fucking around in los angeles with his bum musician boyfriend (as they see it).

cartman’s mom: cartman can do NO. WRONG. that is her baby. liane is so SO proud of him no matter what. he could kill someone and she wouldn’t give a fuck. she hates butters and kenny forever about the cheating thing too because they hurt her poopsiekins. she listens to fireside and swears to cartman that she thinks kyle’s jabs at him are awful, but secretly she finds them HILARIOUS and laughs out loud every time.

craig’s parents: cannot stress enough how little they give a shit. like, they love him and all, but his career is just so nothing to them. they sometimes even forget he has a podcast at all. their relationship is fine.

tweek’s parents: tweek’s parents are in jail. he visits them sometimes and they’re like “hey. we’re so proud of you for your podcast.” even though they don’t listen to it on account of they are in jail. they’re like “hey are you still gay? awesome. that’s so great. that must be fantastic for listenership.” tweek can’t bail them out because the charge is too big but they ask him every time nonetheless.

tolkien’s parents: they don’t get it but they try to be supportive anyway. he calls them once a week and they have a pretty good relationship. neither of them really attempt to understand his career and they don’t listen to the pod because they find it irritating, but if their son is happy, they’re happy! he doesn’t really discuss it with them.

clyde’s dad: he’s already a podcast listener, so when clyde told him that he was starting a podcast himself he was immediately supportive. he doesn’t really listen to catg because he doesn’t get it, but occasionally he’ll tune in and try to enjoy it a bit. it’s just not his thing, he’s more of an npr kind of guy. he also listens to mbmbam at his big age. but he gets a kick out of telling people about his popular podcaster son.

jimmy’s parents: they love him but they think his podcast and his comedy in general are so fucking dumb. his mom is more polite about it but his dad outright tells him that it’s stupid and unfunny. they’re very serious people so the shit that he does is unfathomable to them.

stan’s parents: i mean randy obviously is his producer so his take on what stan is doing is clear. sharon is SO SO PROUD!!!!! she is always showing people videos of his shows and playing his songs at work, telling people in the waiting room that that’s her baby singing, and look how talented he is! she doesn’t quite get it, and the music isn’t her style, but by god is she playing that shit anyway because stan is her little angel.

kenny’s parents: carol doesn’t care what he does, not in the enabling way that liane has, but more in the way of that’s her little boy and she’s happy that he made it out, regardless of how he had to do it. as opposed to stuart, who is actively resentful of kenny, kind of similar to the way he resents gerald. he sees kenny’s success as a betrayal to their family and the very fact that kenny is living well is as though kenny is basically straight up saying that he sees himself as superior. kenny tries to send his dad money multiple times and he always sends it back and tells him to fuck off with that.

#asks #microceleb au

[ladyluscinia]

Organizing my thoughts on OFMD 2x01 - 2x03

Strong start to a season. I really enjoy the black comedy aspect of the show, and the "all these people are kinda terrible" aspect, so win for me! The opening scene gave me a lot of thoughts. Actually, lots of stuff gave me thoughts that I'm gonna dump here (as I rewatch the episodes since I spent the first go around whooping and cheering more than paying attention to details lol) so I can start picking through them more coherently.

---

Ok, first. OHMYGOD EDWARD AND IZZ- *I am yanked off the stage* Ahem. BlackHands thoughts will go into a different post, so as not to overwhelm the many other things going on worth discussing. (Link to post)

So. Real first point:

Kraken Era

Big thing I was absolutely wrong about was how dark Edward's Kraken arc would go. I was counting on a very handwavy resolution that would still let him do some fucked up shit, but I expected it to be mostly externally directed violence that toed up to a potential line but didn't quite cross it. Reminiscent of Flint's vengeance rampage after Miranda is killed. Self-destructive harm but only tangential harm of others in your social sphere.

That is... we did not get that. But what we did get I am very here for.

I'll be honest - I wasn't sure they were bold enough in a romcom to blast right over the line into horrifying and then be so audacious it looped back to funny, but they did. And I think the tone is working for them so far. Big saving grace is they went way further with Edward's cruelty but they counterbalanced it by going way further with the suicidal themes, which made the whole situation more extreme and sympathetic. He should still probably apologize tho.

The Breakup Boat

Frenchie my beloved! Also Fang & Jim & Archie & Izzy! Literally the breakup boat is a resounding success all around and I adore every second of their fucked up trauma bonding. Win after win after win.

Frenchie is repression king and it's hilarious. I love how he gets named first mate for presumably being the only one who sounds plausibly honest when getting interrogated, tries to turn the job down, and then doesn't follow a single order while vibing. Also the bonding with Izzy?!? He's steps in during the intervention. He hides him after Edward shoots him, and then later he's checking in on him and leaning against his leg in the cell. Please Frenchie get all up in that Edward and Izzy mess!

And I'm trying not to turn this into a breakup boat recap but also Fang sobbing through basically every scene. The wooden boy story. Jim's terrible voices. Izzy hiding in the walls. "He's our dick" to "He was your friend" holy fuckkkkkk. And the whole mutiny scene was amazing. Jim saying fuck this toxic bullshit and Izzy saving them all!!! (Sidenote: love how all the nameless extras got washed overboard in the storm. More bodycount!)

The tearing into a seagull like zombies scene - perfect. Archie recognizing Stede (did they tell her about Stede in hushed whispers or was it literally just Izzy's singular statement?). All backing each other up on the "retirement" story. Izzy taking the blame to motivate Stede in trying to defend the crew again.

Trauma bonding WIN!

Also sympathetic Izzy has been real forever despite misreads of S1 and the mistaken predictions they spawned, but once again... Izzy!!!

BlackBonnet "On A Break"

They are idealizing each other so fucking hard. Also Stede what on earth are you talking about in the first episode??? "He's just blowing off some steam." "I'm afraid that your life is better without me?" MY GUY are you reading that list of what Edward has been up to??? Denial so strong.

So we have Stede still full of self-loathing and simultaneously convinced Ed couldn't want him but also avoiding the realization that he hurt him really bad because Ed wanted him. And we have Edward actively suicidal over feeling unlovable and determined to murder-suicide his situationship and the kids, except he can't kill himself so he's trying to make everyone else do it.

(And, you know, Edward is very pointedly refusing to see how the people around him would care for and support him if he would let them - even when they straight up offer it to his face - because he is more concerned with the misery of his own twisted narrative about being fundamentally unlovable than whether or not that is a true statement. Stede doesn't want him and everyone else is just a prop for his depression's final act. Very "I don't have any friends" of him - shoutout to that flashback in his purgatory sequence too.)

Edward's self-loathing throwing him into the water, but Edward starting to save himself well before merman!Stede shows up. Because he does, deep down, want to live with or without Stede. Very strong. Like that. Also the idealization on Edward's end of envisioning Stede as a legit magical being of golden scales??? Fuck, you two need to get some perspective.

Stede's Crew

Trauma Lucius I was not counting on, but Lucius going from BlackBonnet supporter to FUCK YOU STEDE was fun. Also Stede offering to be supportive and then immediately trying to nope right out.

Sea Witch Buttons!!!!!! We're going to get naked Buttons charging into a scene screaming about how he's a seagull or something, aren't we?

Confirmation that Oluwande can't read in the funniest way. Well I guess on reflection the scrolls are probably in Chinese so reading wouldn't help, so maybe this point is null.

I did like the note of Stede knowing "The Soul Reaper's" real name. Piracy hyperfixation bonus.

JimOlu vs JimArchie... If we get another poly ship then I'm calling SteddyHands real. I'm just saying.

Oluwande taking initiative to step up and flex his boytoy powers to advocate diplomatically for the crew - very Captain material of him. Also conveniently doubled as a distraction so he was essential to the plan. Go Olu!

Antagonists New and Old!

Spanish Jackie was a treat. I enjoy that she still hates Stede. The Swede literally became a new man by marrying her. AND WE SAW THE HUSBANDS!

Prince Ricky is so far just kind of a shady classist scumbag - presumably that's going somewhere.

Zheng Yi Sao on the other hand... interested what's happening with this whole armada plan she's apparently enacting. The whole Olu boytoy arc was fun. I'm not as into the whole "girlboss" approach to every single female character in this show so far, so, uh, concerned about that. Hoping for more exploration of how she's doing Stede's version of piracy but what exactly is off about it? Because so far there's no real reason to resist her, other than maybe the whole "I didn't conquer China by listening to pirates ramble about their feelings" bit.

Hornigold. Yeah, I know he was a subconscious manifestation of Edward's self-loathing but I still have hope. "Last time I saw you, you said you were gonna flay my skin and feed it back to me." Does that not sound like a great foreshadowing for S3???

#our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 #breakup boat #frenchie ofmd #zheng yi sao ofmd #ofmd 2x01 #ofmd 2x02 #ofmd 2x03 #ladyluscinia

[mediumstrength]

SXF MANGA REREAD: CHAPTER 1

The conclusion of the second season has left me alone and bereft please join me as I fill the void.

We start with some bitchin spy action

oh shit

Truly the first few chapters are why I think you see so many people upset about the series settling into a slow burn family comedy. You start off with some juicy Hollywood movie shit here. Assassination! Straight off the bat! Cars careening off bridges! Great stuff.

Now, it’s time for a little quick exposition. We got two countries, they don’t like each other, they are using spies, blah blah.

SHODDY WORLDBUILDING:

In Japanese they are straight up written Eastern Country and Western Country (with “Ostania” and “Westalis”) in furigana. Tatsuya Endo, please.

There is one spy who’s the best tho

Here he is!! It’s our boy!!

He’s bamboozled that bad guy out of those silly pictures!! Time to also be mean to the dude’s daughter.

lol what a dick

A NOTE ON FASHION:

“Robert” is not as fashionable as “Loid,” the double breasted suit was already on the way out in the early 60s (The SXF vibe seems to be early 60s? Except when it isn’t?) being replaced by the single breasted suits we generally see him wearing. Edgar also is wearing a double breasted suit, but he doesn’t seem like the type to worry about fashion trends.

Loid however does seem to really care about looking sharp, and I’m proud of him for that. It’s basically his only non spy-related interest. Maybe someday he will have two interests!

Loid gives Karen a new complex, and then waltzes out of her life. Onto the next mission!

SHODDY WORDBUILDING:

Berlint 😂

On the train to Berlint, Loid learns that he has to become a fake dad for silly bullshit reasons that are vital to world peace. This silly bullshit is called Operation Strix, and it is so, so important. The most important mission ever.

I wonder if there’s some significance to the name Strix? It’s a mythological creature, but also a genus of owl. In Japanese it’s written 梟, which literally means owl, so maybe the mythological part is not intended?? I want to know more.

The early art is weird at times

ON THE SPELLING “LOID”:

I hate it.

The real estate guy asks him if he has a girl or a boy, and he says he doesn’t know yet. I feel like I should hate these jokes where Loid says something mind-blowingly suspicious, but I actually love it every time.

Anyhow! On to step two: secure a child.

Tatsuya Endo has a real talents for making just the most detestable jerks. I love to hate you, drunk shitty orphanage guy!

It’s her!! It’s Anya!! The early art is, again, a little weird here.

The absurdly hard crossword puzzle is such a good gag.

Daughter acquired!

ON THE TRANSLATION “PAPA”:

I love it. There’s no real equivalent to “chichi” in English, so they went with something that means dad, but is also a little weird and a little baby talk-y. Perfect. I watched a couple episodes of a fan sub of the anime, and they translated it as “Daddy” which is cute but is simply not weird enough. Anya is a Weird Little Girl.

Anya immediately begins helping, by acting deeply weird and suspicious. We love it.

I love that Spy Wars is just always on somehow.

Onwards! They go out and do some shopping! Anya is a lot! Loid doesn’t understand her! He goes to his local library about it, which is kind of adorable? And gives an early glimpse into a fundamental aspect of his character. With enough information, Loid can accomplish anything. He is certain of this. He has built his whole life around this concept.

LOID HAS NEVER HAD FUN IN HIS LIFE:

You are accidentally playing hide and seek with your daughter somehow, with no idea that it is even happening. Amazing.

Anyhow he finally barricades her in the fucking house lol

It’s Franky!! I love you, Franky.

He tells Loid that his new kid legally does not exist, and has been returned to the orphanage 4 times, and Loid decides not to look further into any of that. Greatest spy in the west.

Meanwhile Anya is causing problems. I love her.

Edgar is back, which doesn’t make sense because the Edgar stuff was happening in another city, but I guess Edgar is just also in Berlint now for some reason.

We get a brief flashback to Anya’s time as an Eleven-style lab rat, which is sad. What does “studying” entail? I think we will all be sad when we find out ☹️

Loid returns and we are treated to a sick. ass. fight. Loid takes a guy out with a can of tuna. He breaks a chair over a dude’s head. I think there was some commentary from Endo (maybe in Eyes Only?) about how using improvised weapons just hits harder. We know more about cans of tuna than guns or whatever. We can imagine what taking a tuna can to the face would feel like.

What a dick.

Anyhow, Loid bamboozles the same guy with the same trick a second time, bravely rescuing Anya, and now it is time for a sad flashback

Don’t cry, little german boy.

Anyhow, the world where kids don’t cry thing should be so corny, but they really pull it off somehow.

For some reason he decides to walk back into danger and beat those guys up?

When did he have time to set these traps??

Sick

Loid kicks everyone’s asses, and then, there’s Anya waiting for him, and she wants to stay with him. This is the moment. This is the moment where he realized, subconsciously, that he loves her. Consciously is still a work in progress. But like, he already cares about her so much. It’s been been like 2 days, and he’s gone from “I hate kids” to “I can’t abandon this little girl who I callously adopted to use for my own purposes”

(…This is the plot of the Despicable Me, isn’t it?)

This little scene on the streetcar warms my heart. Papa is a cool liar.

Ok, jesus christ this chapter is long. I didn’t realize that we also have getting into Eden happening the first chapter??

Anya takes the entrance exam, her cheating plan, as usual, does not really work out, but she does her best and she passes.

Loid experiences a single moment of relief and collapses 😂 The man is so powered by sheer anxiety that his body doesn’t know how to react.

Anya gets the mail, there is a little cute cuddling, and then, the kicker! We need a mama!!

Chapter rating 4/5

A little too much stuff happens in this first chapter, on reread. The streetcar scene is such a logical ending! The Eden test, and then the subsequent complication of needing 2 parents felt tacked on, almost like that should have been padded out a little and made its own chapter, but also I am eager to get to my girl Yor so 🤷‍♀️

Looking back on some of their earlier interactions, Loid has not been thinking through Strix logically from the start. This kid has no birth certificate, and she has been repeatedly returned to the orphanage like a naughty puppy for no obvious reason. She is (allegedly) 6 and she solved a crossword where one of the words was “symplectomorphism” with no adult assistance?? There are some questions he should be asking here, but instead he’s buying her posters and snacks.

He hasn’t had anything to love in so long, you guys. He’s going to love this kid with everything he has, it’s just going to be a long, long time before he understands that it’s love.

#sxf manga reread #spy x family

[another-clive-blog]

I'm thinking so much about Claire going ah fuck gotta save Clive

Did he realise who she was? Did he knew?

I'm also so fixed on French version Claire saying to luke that she's an angel who got down with her wings and not a witch. I think concussed Clive would remember her as such((or for more symbolism as a white dove- who depicted to be peace-bringers))((((also personal hc that Clive got few ribs broken))))

THIS. Omg this- when I first noticed the difference I went "...Oh", like that was so mean and for what ?? Claire you are killing me why would you say that

Btw I wrote a little something based on that, it starts angsty but quickly becomes funny because Clive and Claire are the comedy duo of the time trio (Dimitri and Clive are too, but it's not intentional lol). I hope it's okay with you !! Also if you want to talk more about the French version I am here for it. =) Literally like please do.

Writing under the cut !! Usual TW for mention of death, injury and discussion of injury (still no graphic description)

Clive didn't know where he was. His vision was blurry, his ears ringing, his everything hurting. The pain was overwhelming to the point where he couldn't even pinpoint its origin- his chest maybe ? God, he could hear the professor or Luke say something stupid, something like 'it's your heart that's hurting actually'.

They wouldn't say that though, mostly because none of them were even here with him. Or, well, Clive hoped so, at least : he hoped that they were far, that they wouldn't look back for him.

They probably wouldn't. He didn't think he would have.

He tried to sit up, but it seemed impossible with the ground moving under him. Ah- yes, right... he was in the fortress. Had been... working. And then he got hit by... whatever.

Had he lost consciousness ? How long had he been out for ? Where was everyone ?

He couldn't stand on his own, but patting the ground, he felt his fingers graze against the bottom of the control board. After that, it was really a matter of holding onto it, and then pushing himself up, come on, get up-

He was panting as he leaned on the panel, using it as support but standing nonetheless. He was up and he hoped that his arms wouldn't let go of the panel on their own, that his legs would stop shaking so hard.

He forced himself to focus on the outside instead.

The control room was a mess. Pipes resting on the ground, broken shards of glass everywhere and- wait.

He narrowed his eyes.

Oh. That was the Laytonmobile, somehow- flying away from here. He didn't know it could fly. Funny.

He was definitely having hallucinations, then.

Clive let go of the control panel, swaying for a moment but not falling back down : he brought his hands to his head, trying to- to what ? Hold his head, supposedly. Massage his temples. Contemplate his misery. What was left to do after all ? They were all gone by now, flying away or dying or whatever, if any of this was even real.

Maybe he was dying, or hallucinating, or dreaming. Oh, maybe all of this had just been a- a fear-induced nightmare after that one stupid lab incident. Maybe none of it had been real. Who could say ? It sounded crazy after all, to have one man successfully level the city just because he had the spite to try to do so.

He heard a crunching sound, and it took him a few seconds to locate its origin, raise his head, focus on it enough to see clearly what had caused it : when he did however, he saw Claire standing in front of him.

She looked serious, upset- concerned maybe ? She looked like a million things, but real wasn't one of them. Of course it wasn't. If Claire was ever here, she would have left with the professor. She wouldn't have stayed or- or come back for him. She hated him for using Dimitri, or something.

"Wha- What's going on ?" He asked, because even though this was an hallucination, he would actually really like an answer to this question.

She took a step closer. "You're hurt," she said as if she was just assessing the situation. "I think you may be concussed."

"...Oh," he simply said. That actually did explain the hallucinations and the pain. "What- what about you ?"

He saw her perplexed face as she looked for an answer, at least he thought she was perplexed, he wasn't sure anymore- and then everything went sideway.

Claire yelled as she caught Clive right before he plummeted to the ground : she herself hit the floor and hissed in pain. To say she saw white wouldn't be a lie, as her unstable body lit up with the shock of it, quite literally glowing.

Clive was so out of it that he didn't even react to any of that.

"This- is an hallucination," he said matter-of-factly, ignoring how Claire rose an eyebrow in surprise. "Am I dying ?"

She gently placed him on the ground, turning to look out of the window. No sign of Hershel yet. Good- then she had time to fix whatever was wrong with him and her.

"I don't think you are. These injuries shouldn't be fatal : at worst, you may feel great pain and dizziness." She explained patiently.

"And the hallucinations ?"

"No hallucinations."

"You're glowing," he snapped back.

Claire almost answered with the truth, but stopped herself. She... wasn't sure that this was the concussion talking. Did he know about her situation ? She couldn't remember him ever witnessing this before.

Maybe it was better to just... not tell him. Especially in that state. "Alright, I am an angel who came down on Earth to save you."

For someone meeting an angel, Clive's reaction was really underwhelming. "I think you're still a bit too high up. London is down there and people might need you more than I do."

"These people need the hospital. You need guidance and a slap on the back of your stupid head."

He narrowed his eyes. "Guidance ? I think it may be a bit late for that."

"It's never too late to start over. The energy and ideas- and quite frankly money, you put in this plan could be used to do so much good instead !" She said, honestly a bit frustrated. Why was she always surrounded by hypocritical men who only cared about themselves ?

Except that she saw him consider it, his unfocused eyes staring up at the ceiling. Or maybe this was the concussion.

"I am just going to jail," he finally said.

"You can still do plenty while in jail."

His gaze moved from the ceiling to the window, carefully avoiding eye contact with her : she had a feeling she was glowing a bit too brightly for his eyes right now. "Maybe I've done enough." He said.

Ah, he was being difficult. "Well, I think you should do all that you can to right your wrongs. And if you can't do much, then maybe doing what little you can do is good enough in your case." She wasn't talking to him anymore. She- she just wished she had more time. She hoped she had used it wisely, at least. She hoped she had made a change, meant something, before it was too late.

He chuckled slightly. "You know, I'm starting to believe that maybe you're really an angel."

It was pleasant talking to him when he was being calm and reasonable like that. It was such a shame that he never cared enough to make this effort, instead behaving like an insufferable child. "Don't expect me to fly us out of here," she joked.

He only hummed. "Constance would always make that joke."

Const- ah. Hershel had talked about Constance Dove, Clive's caretaker.

She didn't want to think too much about his childhood. "She seemed like a fun lady," she simply said, hoping he wouldn't talk about things she couldn't change.

He didn't. "A dove would be too on the nose," and with that nonsense he closed his eyes. Claire immediately showed concern, because she was no longer glowing so it couldn't be the light bothering him.

She should get him out of there, and fast.

When she turned around, she was relieved to see the Laytonmobile appearing in the distance.

#There are a few things in French UF that makes me feral. This is one of them. #I should absolutely talk about the others tbh #Anyway come off anon Anon I want to talk about French Layton- #(This is a joke of course) #(You can stay in anon if you want to. But we should absolutely talk about French UF) #Thank you for the ask <3 #Clive dove #Claire Foley #professor layton and the unwound future #professor layton and the lost future #unwound future spoilers #lost future spoilers #Ask #My writing #TW : swearing #TW : concussion #TW : injury #TW : mention of death