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#dazai incorrect
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bsd textposts!! i'm obsessed
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Oda: if I had a nickel for every time I had to carry an injured teen with gunshot wounds wearing a long black coat and threatening to kill me, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
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lowlightsahead · 14 days
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Dazai: We can no longer mansplain, manipulate or manwhore our way out of this.
Chuuya, getting his bullets ready: Manslaughter, it is
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lotus-pear · 2 months
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old dazai lighting practice i found in my drafts that i have no intention of finishing so u guys can have it
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headcanon atsushi’s ability the tiger does not know what to do when it likes someone
like in general atsushi is bad with knowing what to do with the ppl he likes and showing affection -- like he tries to mimic others but he himself is still working on something that feels natural if that makes sense
but the tiger
the tiger is far worse becuz the only positive thing it can associate with positive emotions is food so every time it gets closer to the full moon the tiger starts whispering in the back of his mind that he should eat dazai and kunikida
then kyouka and junichiro
and ranpo and yosano and fukuzawa and kenji and naomi and haruno
at first atsushi panics (naturally) worries he’s a cannibal, thinks the tiger hates the agency, panics more, especially after dead apple when he and the tiger gained an understanding of each other and he realized that the tiger was protecting him so he’s like why r u trying to kill the agency members
but gradually he realizes that actually the tiger just doesn’t know how to deal with positive emotions and yeah
anyway:
atsushi: dazai-san is so nice to me :)
the tiger: yeah :)
the tiger: we should eat him
atsushi: NO????
//
kunikida, patting atsushi’s head: good job on ur report atsushi
the tiger: use his arm against him and eat him
kunikida: atsushi u look weird are u feeling unwell
atsushi: hahaha dont worry about no weird thoughts here hahahaha
//
atsushi, literally just working:
the tiger: the small candy one eats a lot of sugar. he would taste sweet. Eat him.
atsushi: NO??????????????
ranpo, looking up: i’ve actually always wondered what i would taste like-
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and so on
is this incredibly dumb? yes but is it also funny, yes
atsushi realizes he likes akutagawa because at some point when he spots him the tiger immediately starts wondering what he’d taste like
atsushi, sees akutagawa: oh there’s that basta-
the tiger: i bet he’d taste really nice
atsushi:
atsushi: oh 
atsushi: oh no
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akutagawa: how did you figure out you liked me?
atsushi: i couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d taste like
akutagawa, blushing: oh-
atsushi: yeah it was insane how much the tiger wanted to kill and eat u
akutagawa, slightly confused and horrified: oh-
//
eventually as atsushi learns to deal with his feelings so does the tiger but unfortunately it’s still an animal so its more like
atsushi: dazai’s so nice :)
the tiger: yeah :)
the tiger: lets hunt a deer for him 
atsushi: no??????????????
//
kunikida, petting atsushi’s hair: good job on the job atsushi
atsushi, not thinking about what he’s saying: kunikida i like u so much should i kill a bear for u?
kunikida, slightly confused, slightly flattered: uhh no???????
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atsushi, at the store: lemme just get something for kyouka-
the tiger: we shall hunt until we find something suitabl-
atsushi: no.
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atsushi: im sorry i transformed last night, snuck out of ur place, hunted down a goose, broke back in, left it in the living room table, and then climbed on top of u, still a tiger, and then fell asleep and only transformed back now, after u had to use rashomon to get tiger me off u 
akutagawa, dead tired: yeah i don’t know what the appropriate response is but ur cleaning the bloo-
akutagawa: wait wtf do u mean theres a dead goose in the living room
atsushi: do u not like goose :(
akutagawa: that is NOT the issue here
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yeah
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dazaiskinnie · 3 months
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Dazai: Truth or dare?
Chuuya: Truth
Dazai, smirking: I dare you to make out with me
Chuuya, climbing into Dazai's lap: You best believe I'm not here to lose.
Atsushi: …
Atsushi: He didn't even choose dare
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chuuyaxsupremacy9 · 3 months
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Chuuya, unbuttoning shirt: god, isn't it hot in here?
Dazai: yes, but why the hell are you unbuttoning my shirt?
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Dazai: Do you think it's too late for us to get romantically involved? Chuuya, holding a gun: I think a little.
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sakyira · 1 year
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Chuuya, at Dazai's funeral: I need a moment with him.
Everyone: Of course. *leaves*
Chuuya, leaning over Dazai′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.
Dazai: Yeah, no shit.
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Dazai : " i don't know how to tell you this chuuya but you're in love with me "
Chuuya : " What ? "
Dazai :
Chuuya : " Oh my god, i am ."
Atsushi : " What kind of confession did i just Witness ? "
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ikevamp-twitter · 1 year
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pillonemelody · 6 months
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Comic from an incorrect quote by @flamie-42
WHY IS THE QUALITY SO GOD DAMN BAD?!
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mackerel22 · 6 months
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Dazai: Chuuya and I don't use pet names.
Odasaku: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Dazai: Honey.
*silence*
Dazai: Ha, you thought, bitch.
Chuuya, yelling from another room: What do you want, whore?
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whateveranimex · 7 months
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Chuuya: So what's for dinner? Dazai: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise! Chuuya: ... Chuuya: Is it soup? Dazai: I soup-pose it could be! *winks* Chuuya: Please enough with the soup puns! Dazai: Wow, you're soup-per mean. Chuuya: STOP! *one hour later* Chuuya: It's fucking tacos?!?!?!
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askalastorblog · 18 days
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Im about to give you my favourite headcanon
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So we all see Chuuyas bandages around his stomach in his demon SSR costume in tales of the lost but what if it wasnt just for the costume.
What if Chuuya wore these bandages all the time? let me explain.
When Chuuya was 15 he got stabbed by Shirase around his stomach and once it healed it left a pretty nasty scar which reminds Chuuya that he got betrayed by them(the sheep)
Once Dazai found out he hated that he had a scar he gave him some of his bandages and said use them to cover it up so he doesnt have to see it.
Chuuya realised that is why Dazai always wears bandages. Him suggesting this was a moment of weakness for them both.
Neither of them spoke of that day again but they both remember it like it was yesterday.
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flamie-42 · 3 months
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Mori calls Chuuya into his office
Mori: Chuuya-kun I have a very special mission for you
Chuuya: *mildly annoyed* yes sir what is it?
Mori: well you know how much your ability has helped us in the past and how amazing of an asset you are to the Mafia…
Chuuya: what bullshit do I need to save Dazai from now?
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