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olsenmyolsen · 8 months

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Feeling Used

master list

dark master list

MCU AU (Vampire Reader X Wanda Maximoff)

Summary: When you are rescued by The Avengers you find it hard to do anything else but be lost in your thoughts.

Word Count: 2.5K

TW: Mentions of Hydra, Nightmares, Fluff

Reader POV

It wasn't always like this.

I wasn't always like this.

I had a life before I was bitten. Just like I had a life after the bite. Don't get me wrong, it was worse. But Hydra kept me alive. Only after they had their fun when they knew I couldn't fight back. Over and over again.

But that was a life.

My life.

Until a group of uniform-wearing people picked me up. The Avengers was their name. Or at least that's what the guard screamed outside my cell before a stream of red mist threw him like a pebble.

She was the first person I saw when the doors opened. Wanda. Wanda Maximoff. I remember as her powers disappeared into thin air before she greeted me slowly as the others ran by to free the rest.

Knowing her now, I could've made myself look stronger back then, but I cowered myself in the corner, afraid she was just like anyone else who entered my cell.

But she persisted even after I swung at her and flew myself across the room. She came forward. Strong and confident. Although once my pointed teeth shined in the swinging light above us, I saw the switch in her eyes. It was something new. It wasn't the same old scared look I had been used to in the past.

Once again. Knowing her now, I could've explained the whole teeth situation better.

The last thing I remember happening in that cell was Wanda's green eyes looking into my black ones. Her telling me her name in an accent I couldn't place, and then, like magic, a memory I had long forgotten about was in my mind before I was out like a light.

According to the star-spangled man, I was the last "enhanced" Hydra had left. Switch out that word for monster, and he would've been right. But that's not what I wanted to be.

I never wanted that.

Time wore on once the Avengers found a spot for me. After tests, a meeting with a scary one-eyed man, a holding period in a newly furnished cell, and training, I was moved to the benchwarmers. At least, that's what The Black Widow calls me.

I was given a room. Bland but a place I could make my own. The room was on the same floor as Natasha and Wanda. The latter was the only one ever to try and speak to me as if I didn't have these.. what was the word speedster used.. abilities. She was one of the very few so far who chose to spend time with me no matter how little once the test and training was done.

She talked to me. Really talked to me. Maybe it was because we both came from Hydra. Or perhaps because she felt like she had an obligation, what with rescuing me and all. I don't know. May..maybe she just wanted to know she wouldn't... Wanda wouldn't use me. Right?

Oh, come on, freak.

Why not? You read the files. She used the deepest fears against her teammates before. What would stop her now from doing the same to you?? She probably knows them already.

That's why she's been so nice to you since you arrived. That's why you're not even on the team. You'll never be good enough for them. Or her. You're only here so they can pick you apart and throw you away. She's just here to make sure you don't go.

No, Wanda wouldn't do that. She wouldn't.. she.. she saved me. Wanda saved me!

Knock

"Y/N!" I jolt up from the floor, covered in sweat, at the sound of Wanda's voice outside my door. I quickly take in my surroundings before realizing I'm in my room. My room. Avengers compound. Second floor. I'm safe.

I touch my face and feel the tear tracks that are left behind. "Y/N?" Wanda calls out again before another series of knocks land. "One second!" I yell back in a less than put-together manner. With a deep breath out and take a moment to collect myself. Running a hand through my hair before pushing it and those dark thoughts to the back of my mind.

"It's okay. It wasn't real." I silently remind myself before attempting to stand on my legs before falling onto the bed. "Y/N?" Wanda gently calls out again. "Are you okay?" I don't want to lie, so I don't respond. Instead, I pull a new shirt towards me and quickly change before making my way to the door to see a worried-looking witch.

I open my mouth, but no words come out as Wanda's hands land on the sides of my face. "Oh Detka.." I still don't know what that means, but hearing it this tone hurts me. "What's wrong?" I lift my hands to hers slowly bring them down.

She's using you!

No, she isn't.

Wanda quickly looks up into my eyes, but I look away from the stare to down the hall to her open bedroom door.

Most people in this building wouldn't be able to hear it, but I do. The outro to a show I've heard numerous times called The Dick Van Dyke Show playing on low from Wanda's TV. The bag of chips sitting on her bed, slowly crumbling down. Or even Wanda's breathing slightly increases when she follows my gaze before looking back at me. Wanda clears her throat before asking. "Would you like to join me?"

"No- I-"

"No, Y/N. Come on, it'll be fun." Wanda excitedly pulls a smile and looks up at me. "Please?" Her lips form into a pout that I see right through, but I give in. "Okay." In an instant, the witch is pulling me to her room and using her powers to shut the door behind us.

Once the door closes, I take in the surroundings. The only quarters I've seen the inside of is my own. Wanda's is drastically different from mine. She has color and a specific pop that mine lacks. Her identity is all over the room. In fact, it's as bright as she is.

Although, thank goodness she isn't any brighter than the sun, or I wouldn't be able to see her.

Little vampire joke.

Hmm? I move my head to see Wanda looking at me, holding her lip between her teeth. Her heartbeat has picked up once again. "Everything okay?" I ask. Wanda nods her head at me before waving me over to the edge of the bed. "Come sit." I take one step before: "Oh no, no, wait!" Wanda stands and stops my movement with her hand. "Wasn't I supposed to invite you in?!" Wanda lowers her hand but looks at me with such intensity, but I have no idea what she means. "Huh?"

"Vampires, aren't they- like- you uh, vampires can only be allowed to places if they're invited. Right?" Everything I was thinking before this moment is melting away the more I look at the witch's face. "Where did you hear that from?" I manage to ask without laughing.

"Well, Pietro said that you- oh my God, never mind!" Wanda puts her head into her hands and laughs, letting me break as well. "Don't listen to my brother!"

"Well, I wasn't going to start now." I take a seat next to Wanda. Close enough to be comfortable and not touching. This seems to satisfy Wanda as she starts the episode of the show over. "Have you seen this?" I shake my head no as the introduction with a tune begins to play. "Um.. before.. Well, before, this wasn't something that existed, and then it's not like Hydra had time for enhanced like me (monsters) to be watching.. whatever this is called." I smile and force a chuckle at the end of my sentence as I look at Wanda. She has a frown on her face that confuses me, but before I can comment on it, she looks away from me and to the screen as the show begins.

I'm Weak.

"Hmm?" Wanda looks over at me. "I didn't say anything."

"Oh." Wanda's eyes stay on me before she once again looks at the man on screen. "It's called Bewitched. The show we're watching." I look over to Wanda, who holds her hands together. "Before Hydra and the bombings.. these shows. These American shows were what my family had. Whatever Papa didn't sell, we got to watch and learn for one more night. This." Wanda gestures to the screen. "This was always one of my favorites." Wanda rubs her hands on her thighs. "It's why I always have them on. So I don't forget them."

Wanda turns to face me, and I see the tears in her eyes. "I never told anyone that." I scoot closer and, wrap my arms around the sad witch and hold her close.

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Wanda," I say into the top of her head, knowing she'll hear me.

Seconds of holding her turn into minutes, not that I mind beca- "Y/N?" Wanda pulls out of the hug and looks up at me. "Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?" I hesitate. Questions at Hydra were always a trick. "Sure." Wanda nods and wipes her eyes. "Do you like being here? At the compound." I nod almost immediately. "Anything better than Hydra, huh," Wanda says, making me smile and nod again. "Yeah."

"Can I ask another question?" The first didn't hurt, so why not? "Okay." Wanda turns her body more towards me now. "Do you trust me?" I hear Wanda's heartbeat pick up as she waits for my answer. But why do I wait? Of course, I trust Wanda. She helped me. She saved me. It's Wanda!

She's using you.

"I'm not!" Wanda speaks up with a wide-eyed look, slightly startling me. "Oh my God, Y/N, I'm sorry!"

What?? Did she just read my thoughts?

"No, Y/N! I didn't mean to. I normally don't. It's just your thoughts are so loud sometimes! Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"

I slowly move myself off the bed and start backing away from Wanda, who looks at me with a destroyed look. "I promise." She pleads. "Y/N, please." Wanda stands up and walks to me. For a second, when I blink, I see us back in Hydra's cell after she arrived with the rest of the team. "Y/N?" I close my eyes and focus on the one thing that matters right now.

"Repeat it," I ask. "What? I-" "The apology.. I believe you, Wanda, but please.."

I sense Wanda nod, and I listen to her as she voices her sorrows once again—every word she says with conviction and truth.

Especially when she says: "And you're not weak. Or a monster. I've fought monsters. They don't look like you." Wanda quickly smiles. "No matter what you think or what Hydra made you think. You're stronger than most people I've met in this line of work. Because of what you had before them. Before the bite. Is you. It's you, Y/N. I'll always remind you of that."

I open my eyes and run back into her arms. "Can I, uh, ask you something," I ask into the air floating around us. "Anything."

"You never have... or ever will use me, right?" I hold onto Wanda tighter because I know if I look into her eyes, I'll break down. "Never Y/N. I never have, and I never will." Truth. "Thank you." I hold her close and let the few happy thoughts I have fly around my brain.

"Read my thoughts, Wanda."

Wanda giggles at one of my favorite memories before her. "I know you didn't mean to read my thoughts before. It's okay, Witchy."

"Sometimes they just get too loud, and I can't help it. It happens to the others as well. But tonight, your nightmare- I just wanted to ensure you were okay."

I swallow the lump in my throat. Not because she saw my nightmare. I had a feeling. But because she cared enough to check on me.

"Thank you for waking me."

"Now Y/N. Can I ask you something?" I let out a shaky breath with a smile as my grip around Wanda loosens. "Sure."

"This isn't my question, but can you look at me?" I look down to see a smile on the witch's face. She pulls the ends of her sleeves down and wipes below my eyes. "Better." She says with another shining smile before it morphs into a soft, compassionate face. "This is a serious question. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Pietro says vampires can't have garlic. Is this true?" Wanda's lips crack into a smile just as mine do the same. The air in the room becomes lighter as her angelic laughs fly around. "No, it's not true."

"Stakes? True or false?" She asks as we find ourselves planting our butts in the middle of the bed. The complicated conversation and the show playing in the background become something we can look back on. "Wooden stakes. Yes. True." Wanda makes a hmm noise before offering me the Garlic and Herb bag of chips that's been sitting there since I got here. "The team. Do they trust me?"

"Bucky no. Natasha maybe. The rest, yes. But that's because you scare two of them." I tilt my head, confused. "Who do I scare? I've barely talked to them."

"Sam and Peter."

That makes sense. Wanda hums in agreement before taking some chips and placing them in her hand. "Besides flying, strength and powers. What else can you do?" Wanda innocently asks.

"I can turn into a bat."

"Shut up!! Really?!" I shake my head no and laugh to let her know I was joking. "Aww Y/N! That would've been so cool. And cute!!"

Cute!?

"Do your fangs hurt?" Wanda asks before eating her last chip. "Not me," I respond with a wide grin, showing off the fangs that, for some reason, I hear Wanda's heartbeat growing faster..?

"Wow." Wanda breaths out before she looks away from me and to the room around us. "Let's get more comfortable," Wanda suggests as she gets up and grabs the remote for her string lights, dimming them before moving to the top of her bed. Leaning her back against the headboard. "Come on." Wanda waves me over again.

Just like before, I get comfortable next to Wanda; however, where there was space between our bodies before it is now gone. As her thigh touches my own. "Is this okay?" Wanda asks me. I don't know whether she's referring to us touching or the new show she's putting on, but I nod.

I smile at the thought that this won't be the last time I watch TV with Wanda in her room. "It won't be." She smiles at me.

"Thank you, Wanda."

"You're welcome, Detka."

dividers by @/benkeibear

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ya-killin-me-smalls · 2 months

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MORE but this time we are under th water... i don't know if this is as good as the previous i'm kind of sleepy

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In a world where life is land and sea... A harmony is formed in most places with their balance. Though, some believe it to be a "sin" to be caught with a "sea-breather." A sin for them to exist. Spears and hooks, blood staining parts of the sea... Just because a ship of them had caught sight of one singing on rocks or by shores.

A young child born in the sea. They know not their mother, having been told she was killed by those living above their deep waters. They learned quickly to hate the boats that sailed upon the surface.

Only 10 years old, they peeked above trying to scare away the monsters that rode on the large hulks of wood.

They sank down, a spear in their side.

Ink and blood spiralled in the water.

They were sure they'd die just as their mother did.

The sea felt dark...

...but they woke up again.

They woke up to a friendly face, just as young as they were. This new friend saved them. They didn't recognize much of the strange tools and trinkets in the room, but loved how they sparkled in light.

" Hey, you woke up! Do you feel okay? It got you bad... I managed to get that wound fixed up though, all by myself. "

That smile... It seemed so very innocent to them. They didn't feel their new friend knew of the dangers above.

" How did this happen? "

" ...Monsters. "

" Monsters?.."

" Monsters. On... On the big things up there. "

" The.. The big floaty-woods, yeah? "

" Mhm... "

" Oh!- I haven't even asked you yet, what's your name? "

" My name.. It's.. "

" Hank. "

His head turned hearing his true name.

" Leave the floatwoods alone, you've enough wounds. "

...It turned their head away once being told such. Why should he leave those horrid things alone? Those wretched creatures are responsible for so many of their wounds. The spear when it was young. Yet they continued label him as the dangerous one.

" I know what you're thinking about. "

A sigh..

" Just don't, please? We haven't even caught breakfast yet. "

A frustrated grunt. A full body turn.

Their friend was now more like a healer. Unfortunately, he was also fascinated by the objects that dropped into the sea by the land-lifes and trying to figure out how to use them. Despite the danger of them. Despite the hooks that had gotten stuck in the flesh of his cheeks and tore them open. Despite the nets he had gotten his arm tangled in, only able to free himself with his teeth. Despite the times the dropped surface foods were bait to try and shoot. Despite the...

" Hey. Look at me. "

" ...Hmmph. "

" Things are going to be okay. Just stay down here, and they can't get to us. They're too scared to come in here-- "

It jolted to turn around.

One of the freaks had fallen in.

" ...Don't get too close- HANK! "

A chance to eat one.

hell yeah get his ass Hank

#madness combat au #madness combat #asks

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olibavee · 4 years

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anxiety disorders are genuinely awful and debilitating and all that but also they’re just so freaking stupid???? like so sorry i can’t think rationally atm i watched a light-hearted video on SIMS LORE and my brain decided to drown itself in existential dread as a result, goodNIGHT

#liv asdf #i miss being a functioning human in my last year of high school and everything was feeling hopeful and alright. miss that.#didn't freak out and get scared of the dark or monsters or jolt at my own reflection and all that. brain chemistry got SCRAMBLED my friends.#like i've always been an anxious mess but i felt alright that year lmao #i'm exhausted goodnight

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mestizo-efp · 5 years

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TianShan Love Letter Ch 1

Thank you anon!

GuanShan knew about his reputation.

He knew what was the general idea that most of the other students had about him.

Most of it true, that's for sure, but he really wasn't that kind of monster some of them thought he was.

He wasn't but... sometimes he wishes he was.

Like right now, looking at this tiny girl, all shyness and awkwardness.

She actually seemed nice, it was proven by the fact that she approached him not scared but just embarrassed; poking lightly at his back and asking in a whisper to talk.

Something completely new to GuanShan, so surprised and unprepared that he followed her without thinking. But the moment of surprise didn't last long.

They were hiding in a corner of the hallway, just under the stairs.

«You see» she was saying «My family is moving out, and I don't want to leave without letting him know…»

GuanShan clicked his tongue, looking at the letter her trembling hand was holding out: all crumpled and folded. She probably had it for a long time.

«Can't you fucking do it yourself?» he said, hoping in a corner of his mind that she would back up because...well of course because he didn't want to do it!

She lowered her head, disheartened «I tried so many times...but He Tian is so…» her face turned into such a bright shade of red that GuanShan feared she was about to explode.

GuanShan let out a frustrated sigh “Of fucking course” he thought.

She raised her dark eyes to GuanShan's «I saw you two talking a lot and I thought you could do me a favor, you two are friends right?»

GuanShan stomped down his foot «We're not friends!»

The girl furrowed her brow «Oh» she thought for a moment «Ah! So you're best friends!»

«What?»

«Please!» she bowed down, handing the letter with two hands «Please take it!»

Some noises came from upstairs, someone was probably coming down. GuanShan just wanted to go away.

He stepped back «I don't-»

«Please!» she repeated, looking at him with teary eyes but immediately trying to push the tear back up. She was trying so hard «Take it»

GuanShan clenched his jaw so hard; something inside his chest was suffocating him.

He could tell that she was honest, that this was something really, really important to her. He could see her trembling knees and lips.

He wasn’t a monster but….

«Give me that!» he said, snatching abruptly the letter.

The girl's face lighted up as a sunshine «Thank you! I’m so happy»

«I didn't say yes! I just want you to freaking leave me alone! Get lost!»

She smiled again, clapping her hands and happily walking away.

GuanShan watched her disappearing inside a class, and right after that he looked at the letter. Somehow he felt so angry with himself.

“What the fuck am I doing?”

He turned around, pushing the letter inside his pocket; he didn't care that the letter wrinkled.

Suddenly, he saw something moving behind him with the corner of his eye: but the stairs were empty.

“Uh” he thought “I thought there was someone”.

He went back to his class, and the more he thought about it, the more he regretted his decision. How was he even supposed to give He Tian the letter?

Felt so fucking humiliating.

Why him? He didn’t want to give it to He Tian...he didn’t want to because...

Because he didn’t want to get involved with him! It wasn’t his fucking problem.

Moreover, he wasn’t good with crying girls, and he didn’t want to deal with a crying girl when he’ll have to return the letter because He Tian didn’t want it.

That if...He Tian actually refuses it.

His stomach made some amazing flips at that thought. GuanShan grimaced laying a hand over his stomach.

“What the hell was that?”

«Mo GuanShan?»

GuanShan jolted, his classmate was looking at him, apparently a bit concerned.

«What?»

«You alright there? You were spacing out for a bit»

GuanShan’s stomach was still hurting a little bit, he got up.

«I’m going to the infirmary»

«Oh...ok,»

As he walked outside, GuanShan kept looking down at his pocket. It felt heavier now, like he had a big rock chained to his leg.

He arrived at the infirmary and sat on the bed.

Maybe he should just throw the letter away or...give it back to the girl. He didn’t even know her name.

“She was kind of cute, I guess”

Again, a cramp gripped his stomach.

He laid down on the bed, sighing.

“It’s none of my business. I’ll just give it to the fucker and let him deal with it. It’s not my problem. I don’t care, I don’t care...I don’t...fucking...care”

GuanShan looked up.

He Tian was standing there, turned with his back towards GuanShan.

GuanShan was looking for him, right? He was because he had to...he had to do something.

He Tian turned around and as soon as he saw GuanShan he smiled so brightly, so happily and cheerfully GuanShan forgot what he was trying to remember .

«Little Mo» said He Tian getting close, circling GuanShan’s waist with one arm and GuanShan’s neck with the other «I’m so happy little Mo»

What was he talking about?

He was about to ask him, but He Tian suddenly pushed him away, keeping his hands over GuanShan’s shoulders, looking into his eyes. There was a weird look into them, somehow it scared GuanShan. Deeply.

«Thank you, GuanShan»

For what?

He Tian's hands slipped down, he took one step back.

«It's all thanks to you»

A lump formed in GuanShan's throat.

He looked down: a pair of tiny hands were wrapped around He Tian's arm.

It was her, smiling and blushing.Taking He Tian's hand into hers, resting her cheek in his arm. GuanShan's eyes were moving all over, not finding a place to stop. His ears were buzzing.

«Thank you Mo GuanShan» she said.

«But-» said GuanShan

«Thank you for giving my letter to He Tian»

Instinctively, GuanShan's hand and eyes went to his pocket: it was empty.

He looked up, He Tian and the girl were still looking at him, their smile wide and unsettling.

«But I didn't...I never-» said GuanShan. He looked into He Tian's eyes «I thought-»

«It's all thanks to you» repeated He Tian, interrupting him. Keeping her close, so carefully, so tenderly.

«Thank you for giving me the letter»

«I didn't!!» yelled GuanShan «I don't get it!»

But he wasn't listening, in fact he wasn't even looking at him anymore. He Tian's was staring through him like he wasn't even there.

His eyes were just for her.

Only for her.

Was that it? Was a fucking piece of useless paper enough to make everything…disappear?

He looked down, the girl was still looking at him

«There was nothing to begin with» she whispered, smiling, and her voice sounded so much like GuanShan's «I'll just give it to the fucker. It's not my problem» she was saying. And now GuanShan was sure it was his voice talking.

«I don't care» he sounded so cold «I don't care»

GuanShan clenched his jaw, his fists...yet, his right hand was moving on his own. He looked down, it was going inside his pocket...there it is! The letter!

He looked up: He Tian was once again before him. He tried so hard but the letter was already in his hand...and he was giving it to He Tian. He didn't want to, he absolutely didn't! But his hand wasn't listening to him, nor his voice, or his body.

He Tian's was staring at the letter, he was about to accept it.

“I didn't” thought GuanShan, clutching his eyes so hard, trying to stop himself with all his might.

He Tian's fingers closed around the letter

«DON'T!!!!!»

GuanShan woke up still yelling.

He was drenched in sweat, his heart was beating fast and his head felt like it was about to explode.

He looked around: the infirmary.

He rested a hand over his mouth, then his eyes.

He sighed deeply, trying to regain some self control.

Lessons were almost over.

He got up, putting his shoes back on.

He looked down...his eyes went to his pocket.

This time, under his will, his hand moved over the pocket...he heard the faint rustling of paper.

A long, deep, deep breath left his lips.

He sat down, looking at the window…

“The hell am I supposed to do now”.

The bell rang.

GuanShan had barely the time to listen to it, that the door behind him opened up. He thought it was the teacher until-

«... little Mo?»

To be continued….

Thank you for reading, please let me know your thoughts! Chapter 2 coming soon!

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#tianshan #he tian #mo guan shan #mo guanshan #19 days #old xian #he tian x mo guan shan #fanfiction #my fic #love letter #ch 1 #angst #just a little bit #nightmare #request #anon #jealousy #jealous he tian #jealous guanshan

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