#didnt have enough time like last year for big drawings so you get this from 9 on the sunday before

[nazumichi]

year two of shirou halloween suffering, give it up for year two

#raii draws a lot #bna #brand new animal #q #id in alt #didnt have enough time like last year for big drawings so you get this from 9 on the sunday before #ok ok marie vampire because it suits her shirou werewolf because michiru thought it was funny and pingua franken because I’m a genius #this is so BAD and so old raii style but it’s FINE because I haven’t drawn them in a while and ENJOYED IT

[meringuejellyfish]

:-p animal crossing is making me wanna draw nice things

#mostly nice outfits .... #im also feeling very inspired by the older games. looking at images of wild world is making me go Lol ... wanna draw silly weird art #also. opened up my city folk case last night and my game was not in there. very upsetting and i have no idea where that went #i miss my wii #i want to ... check on my new leaf town. i like it there #ive been thinking about this for so long but .. im so sentimental about my original new leaf town but also want to play the game from #the beginning ... but i dunno. maybe if i find a used copy for cheap :-9 #i do want to get back to decorating my new horizons island though -w- im feelin excited about it #i think having people to actually play with this time around is. nice. idk #i do just enjoy games like this ... thats why im considering buying another copy of new leaf just so i can experience it again #its been ............ 6 years #its a little bit funny though. i dont wanna start from scratch in nh but after hours of playing i just dropped it for a long while because i #didnt really like thinking much about that time period + other silly things #but its fine . lawl #goodness ... can we talk about how bullshit it is that you can only have 1 island per switch #watever. im finally powerful enough to go crazy on my island and make it cool (LIE. splatoon 3 is coming out. fuck animalcrossin g #but also ...... i miss being big on animal crossing :-( i was on top of everything. similar feeling to when i speedrun completing the #stardew valley community center in the 1st year as fast as possible #ahh .... i love knowing things . ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh video game #where am i

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for refusing to do any more art commissions for my mom's friends?

Ok so I (19nb) am a digital artist. If I had to honestly rate my skills I would put them somewhere in the "good enough to get a few commissions but not professional level" range and I wanted to do it professionally.

Keyword being wanted but I'll get to that

Now my mother has been showing off my art pieces to her friends (no problem with this) and it got one of my mom's friends to ask her if I could draw make icons for the website of her upcoming business back in late April (basically one big icon for the main page and five smaller ones, so six in total, all fully rendered) and paid 200 dollars for all of it (which thinking back was extremely low for the amount of time and effort that I put into that if I was going by living wage effort and time)

So I did that, got the money, spent it all and was happy.

And now yesterday (july 6th) my mom said that she asked one of her other friends (who is also her boss) if I could draw her a new logo for her side business.

SHE DIDNT EVEN ASK ME IF I WANTED TO DO THAT! SHE JUST TOLD HER FRIEND THAT I WOULD DO IT!

Now I got a big commission (dont know how much money Im getting paid) dropped on me with no warning. And apparently my mom and her friend are coming with even MORE ideas for me to draw. (Mind you that commission would take at least a week to two weeks at the MINIMUM and now they're coming up with more)

But the thing is I dont want to to do digital art professionally anymore. I want it to stay as a hobby, something to do for fun and my own enjoyment. The reason why? A one year digital art course I did last year that burnt me out so unbelievably bad. I couldnt make ANY art for myself for an entire YEAR because I was constantly working on that stupid useless course (and I didnt even get the final drawing done and submitted before the one year deadline was up so that didnt help. And it was the one I was the most proud of too)

I am burned out and I want to make things for ME, things that absolutely cant go on a portfolio (extreme horror art, fan art, NSFW art, etc)

The amount of times in the past months I have talked myself out of drawing something that would make me happy because everything I make should be fit to go on a professional portfolio is extremely high.

I'm obviously gonna do the new commission and whatever else those two tell me to draw (but it better be more than 200 dollars, like at least 350 minimum) but I am so tired of this and I just wished my mom had asked me first before automatically telling her friend yes.

So would I be the asshole if I told her Im not doing any future commissions from her friends and that I want to just do art as a hobby and not as a career?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[lvxybby]

it kills me to love you (Kai Anderson x Reader) Angst (it will get better <3)

Ive been part of kais cult for about 4 weeks now. we have known each other before his cult was formed. its been 5 months since he gathered people to join, but he never told me about it until he proposed the idea for me to join. me and kai have always been big on getting things our way and if that didnt happen, there would be consequences for the person. but never killing them. or at least that idea was never in my mind. i dont know about him. i dont know much about him anymore. hes gone mad. absolutely crazy. and theres this woman. Meadow. Meadow Wilton. That stuck up bitch. And she is all over kai. i mean all over him. it goes from doing his hair. to sitting on his lap. to all out make out sessions between them. and me? im jealous as FUCK cause of it. that fucking bitch. ive loved and cared for kai for 2 years! i have given him every last bit of my attention. but he turns a blind eye every SINGLE time. but meadow. oh no...she slits some guys throat and "oh dear god meadow! your the best! you've done so much for me!" In kais eyes. fuck him. im DONE with his bullshit. "Kai!" i heard winter shout from downstairs. "Kai! meadow is here!" she shouted again. i heard very quick, heavy steps walk in front of my door than trail down the stairs. i sighed before grasping my journal to doodle in. my pencil lead dwindled as i drew on the plain white paper. i pressed harder as i drew faster. and faster. the grey color faded into a shiny black as i drew more lines. i stopped to enjoy my drawing. ive been good at drawing since i was about 13 and took art classes in middle school. the drawing was just a really detailed drawing of some spirals, something in really like to draw. but now...i wasnt feeling it. i closed the book shut and threw it across the room. i focused on the sounds around me. i focused more and more. on the sounds. "kai! oh kai yes!" i heard very muffled through the walls. why couldnt i cry out his name like that. did he not want me around? did i not do enough for him? ive been TRYING for years to please him! i cant stand to be in the same house with meadow and now im barely able to be with him. i couldnt bear to hear meadows moans for longer. i stuff my phone into my pocket and grab my tiny bag that has my wallet and other essentials in it. i walk downstairs and see winter on the couch. "where you heading?" she asked. "i dont know... anywhere but here...i cant stand your brother anymore..." i said before walking out the door. i walked for a bit before coming across a nice park. im slightly familiar with it cause they have some bird feeders, and me and kai along with everyone else poisoned them all around the city. i sat on one of the benches. after about 30 minutes my phone began to buzz. i looked at it and saw kai was calling. i also saw he left 12 messages, that i had unopened. i looked at the screen before answering. i took a deep breath in. "hello" i said. "where the fuck are you?! why havent you opened my messages?!" he shouted through the phone. "kai dont yell at me...talk to me" i said a bit angered. "no fuck that! answer my da-" he was cut off as i hung up with him. oh fuck im in trouble.

#part 2 soon #kai anderson #kai anderson x reader #american horror story kai anderson

[woolywoofs]

I wanted to post a little update. And ask for a little help, again (paypal posted below, please dont feel pressured! you and your needs come first always).

Moppa and I are still grieving Skvetta, but we are managing now. She can be left alone now without panicking and she no longer searched for her in the yard.

I had my tonsils taken out last friday, on my birthday lol. Surgery itself went well, but beforehand did not. My IV infiltrated and all of the meds to calm me down and put me to sleep just went into my soft tissue. It was extremely painful and I started to have a panic attack on the table because of it + the oxygen mask makes me feel like im suffocating (i know it doesnt make sense haha). All hands on deck after that and I had 3 people on me at once sticking me trying to get IVs in me but my veins just kept breaking. It was actual hell and felt like forever.

Recovery has been a hot mess honestly. The first 3 days were fine and since then its been reaaal bad. The ear, throat and tongue pain is unreal. I am drugged out of my mind because pain/stress is a huge seizure trigger for me, but at this point it is not really working. I did have 1 bad seizure, to a point where i had broken capillaries in my face. But thankfully it didnt create any issues with my surgery recovery. Im hoping things will start improving soon.

Generally my epilepsy has fucked up a lot. My short term memory is messed up and I have lost some skill sets after the bad seizures. I have been re-learning how to draw and paint! It is a very tedious process but i really feel like im making progress.

My autoimmune disease has been lowkey out of control and I saw my rheumo and I am going back on a low dose chemo drug. It really did help last time, it just made me so sick. But we will be looking into every option to control my nausea etc! So im trying to be hopeful. Ill start once im completely healed from my tonsillectomy, since the meds make you more likely to get infections and slows healing.

My uterus has also been absolutely fucked, once again. We were really hoping that removing the mass, scraping my uterus and putting the IUD would stop the bleeding, and it did, for 6 months. But im having issues again and I saw a specialist and we decided that the only option left for me is a hysterectomy. There is a year long wait though. This wasnt exactly on my list of things to do at 27.. but i suppose it is what it is.

Now for some good. Moppa is healthy and happy. She was attacked by a dog in september and got a bad gash but shes completely healed! She loves the fenced yard. We have been working on nosework stuff when im feeling okay enough for it! She is honestly such a light in the dark and I love her.

I get to renew my lease next year so i dont have to worry about housing!! Rent will be increasing bc inflation but im okay with swapping some meals with ramen to make things work, when I cant make extra money. I have been learning how to quilt!! My grandma does it a lot and i asked her to teach me so I am working on a project with her.

While things are generally a hot mess right now, i am mostly okay. And i feel like thats a big improvement for me, im not sure I would have handled all this a year ago. And im proud of myself.

With everything going on, I have obviously been unable to do commissions, or taking in dogsitting clients or anything i typically do to make money. If anyone is able to help, it is really appreciated. *This is my PayPal*, im afraid its my only way to receive anything. *any* amount helps. I really hope this is the last time i ever have to ask for anything. I feel like things are going to turn around now that we have solid plans to help with my health issues. The hope is that once my uterus is out and the low dose chemo has gotten my overall pain under control, that my epilepsy will chill out. It seems to be easily triggered via pain and hormones.

Thanks to anyone who had the patience to read this thing. I just havent posted an update in so long that there was a lot to say 😅 i am going to start being more active on here as ai really miss it. I will include the 2 art pieces I managed to make and finish. It took forever to figure everything out but im proud of myself. Quality may be a little destroyed bc tumblr likes to do that... i really hope i can offer commissions again soon. I might choose a person or two at random that donates and do a ghost commission like below for them? I can at least try. But youd have to message me on here after donating so i know who you are, i think i can attempt dog, cat or rabbit. But i cant promise anything.

I talked forever, im so sorry lol. Here is the paypal again because its definitely lost up there in the babble

Just to end this.. Has anyone here had a tonsillectomy as an adult and can tell me at what point it got better?

#personal babble #lord sorry for going off forever #my art

[tomatoscribbles]

hey, I just saw you mentioned in a post that you're kinda new to the Tekken fandom, and as a long time fan myself, I just wanted to welcome you into the fandom! It always makes me happy to see new people join the fandom! I also love your drawings and au's! (especially the Kaz raising Jin one). I'm one of the few fans who enjoy Tekken more for it's story and characters (the Mishimas anyways) and your art has really made my day whenever I see you post! I'm very exited for your story, I always love it when there is new character based Tekken content and judging by what you've been posting so far it's gonna be amazing! <3 <3 <3

thank you!! to both the welcome and the compliments, theyre very appreciated

that being said, im into the series almost entirely for the story cause i uhm. i. ive never played a tekken game in my life??😅 i fell down a rabbit hole mid last year and watched and read a bunch of stuff, but ive never touched a game personally!! i didnt have them growing up, i dont have but like 2 gaming consoles and no one to play with anyway, everything i know and care about is entirely from looking into it obsessively 😭😭 im here like scared to post this because i dont want to destroy my credibility or anything especially since im planning such a big fic, but like!! you have to deep dive to get story for real in these games anyway so!!

please no one clown on me for this im mocked by my family enough for this fact already sdhfuksdjf

#ask #anonymous #tekken #😅😅😅 #I PROMISE IM DOING AMPLE RESEARCH LISTEN TO ME- #ITS GONNA BE AS IC AS I CAN MANAGE I KNOW WHAT IM DOING OKAY SDFDSHB #I KNOW SO MUCH LORE ITS UNREAL DO NOT MESS WITH AN ADHD BRAIN THAT IS HYPERFIXATED

[thecoloroute]

Back To School Shopping List for A College Freshman Art Student

Hi guys I went to RISD a few years back but I do remember looking up this question. if you're not going to college just yet but are interested in art, it could be super useful to get comfortable using the tools/mediums below. even though i know most teachers give a materials list the first day, i needed to be prepared way ahead of time because of my anxiety. in my case, i was told id get a list in person, but walking in with an empty bag just felt wrong to me lol??? i ended up bringing a couple things, but missed a few vital essentials so here's a list of everything that i can think of. read to the end for my wagon epiphany that i think all art students should adopt (if they havent already)

-a notebook or planner (lined). some professors will hit you with extremely important info right away and wont always tell you to write down what they're saying but 90% of the time its important stuff you dont wanna miss

-a sketchbook. this can help if they throw a quick exercise at you and you have to write/draw something quickly. i blanked and didnt bring a sketchbook from home (because i was told id need to get certain types according to the teacher's specifications) but looking back idk why i didnt?? first days are hectic. actually the first week lol. anyways there were single sheets offered but honestly having your own right off the bat helps for organizational purposes, saves time, and IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, prevents the need to get up in front of everyone

-writing utensils. I'd recommend a nice pen and a set of drawing pencils (doesn't have to be anything crazy cause your teacher will most likely request that you buy more advanced/specific tools later on)

-headphones. every teacher is different, but usually art students will be given little tasks to work on during their first day in class at college. I was not clever enough to remember to pack my headphones, and the silence in a room full of focused art students can be especially unnerving when you're nervous. Hearing a student's questionable music taste can be equally unnerving, so make sure to pack those.

-snacks/drinks. this is kind of a branch off of the last one, cause again it can get sooooo quiet in these classrooms/studios. Pack snacks to prevent belly grumbles. I have heard it happen to many people in my classes and i am a victim as well. stay ready

-sunglasses. seems trivial but super important because you'll probably be walking around outside a lot your first day. this is the typical college commute, up down and around the streets.

-MONEY. I AM GOING TO PUT THIS IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE THIS WAS BY FAR MY BIGGEST MISTAKE LOL. UNFORTUNATELY, STAY STRAPPED WITH CASH OR CARD BCUZ! SOME OF THOSE ART SCHOOL PROFESSORS ARE A LIL BOUJEE AND WILL SEND U RIGHT TO THE CAMPUS ART STORE DAY ONE. It was very overwhelming for me, and some might think its common sense but idk my entire school career you always get some time after school to buy that stuff. they really sent us shopping ten minutes into class so be aware or look broke like i did.

Other than that, all the stuff you'll have to potentially purchase that day will be specified by the teacher. If you're worried about getting the wrong thing, don't be. The students get to go together and the teacher gives very specific details about the products to buy, which the campus store workers are well aware of. Off the top of my head, i remember being sent to get materials for a few different classes throughout the day. I'll list them here without the brand specifics (1. cause i dont know and 2. cause it may not match what your teacher will want anyway) just to give you a general idea.

-large ruler, metal, 1 yard (3 ft)

-clear plastic t-shaped ruler for drawing

-sketchbooks, drawing pads (of all sizes)

-a large portfolio (looks like a gigantic black totebag for big art papers)

-sewing kit

-string

-muslin fabric

-ink pens

-drawing pencils, different sizes

-drawing charcoal

-white paper drawing blender, a good eraser

-a toolbox for the drawing materials

-gouache paint

-brushes, pallets

-oil paint crayons

-a tool box

-ink pens like harry potter

That's pretty much it. If you'd like to grab some of these things before hand it should be fine, but for the most part id stick to waiting just to be safe.

Also a side note: I was a commuter so i could run home and grab my materials collected over my entire life but not every student is this lucky and some of their homes are thousands of miles away. if ur a traveling bird like them, it could be very VERY useful to pack some cool materials and tools like idk holographic paper or a jar of crystals because CAMPUS ART STORES ARE VERY EXPENSIVE!!!!

Also....... i know it sounds a little ridiculous but there were many many times i wished i had bought a wagon to transport things around campus. imagine me with a like 4ft portfolio bag the size of my body, a pencil toolbox, another toolbox for actual tools, my backpack, any projects i may have brought, a coffee if i am holding one??? and god forbid its a rainy day and i needed my umbrella lol.. it looks & feels difficult anyway trying to lug all the stuff art school requires.. so thats just some food for thought. Imagine a cute pink wagon?!??

anyways thats a wrap, have a lovely school year artists!

#art #art school #art education #art university #college #materials #back to school #back to school supplies #art student back to school list #art student back to school materials #materials list #risd #college life #artist support #art tips #school #commuter #out of state #campus #whats in your bag #what should be in your bag

[dufrau]

Alight bud, it's time.

2, 13, 20, 26 (I know you make, but the details!!), 36, 40 and 48

also 34 makes me cry a little.

Hoo boy lets go!

2. Describe your favorite pair of socks: I hate wearing socks honestly. I am barefoot as much as possible and in the summer I wear vans without socks. But I also like boots a lot so I need socks for those. I guess the pair I wear the most are like mid calf and they are purple and grey striped. Although I did buy some heavier winter socks this year that are like buffalo check plaid, I just havent worn them enough yet to give them the honors.

13. Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil? I like ballpoint pen a lot, for writing and (heretically) for drawing. But I dont have any ballpoint pens right now, I just have gel pens and I kind of hate them. I would take a pencil over a gel pen. I like the idea of fountain pens and I 100% understand why people collect them, but I am too messy I think to make good use of them. My handwriting looks like a serial killer's no matter what implement I use.

20. What kind of math are you best at? Addition and subtraction of single digit numbers. I only made it to Algebra 2 and I barely passed that class. Matrixes broke my brain. I can figure out what 20% is to tip people and that's about as mathy as I prefer to get.

26. Can you cook or bake? If so, what are some of your specialties? Yes. I am a very good cook, and good enough at following recipes to be a passable baker. The things I can make without really even thinking about it are roast chickens, basically any kind of beef stew or chicken soup, steaks, bbq chicken. Carnitas for tacos. I yolo salads, they always come out good. Heart kind of home cooking kind of stuff. Nothing fancy really. But its good and nobody goes home hungry.

36. What’s an arcade or table game (air hockey, ping pong, etc) that you’re really good at? Does beer pong count? Because I have had some triumphant moments at that. I would love to be good at pool but Im just not, and none of the super fast paced stuff works out great for me because number one im getting old and number two i am generally drunk if im playing games. I used to be very good at Big Buck Hunter but it's been a while since I've played so I'm probably pretty rusty.

40. What’s your favorite kind of tree? There was an apricot tree randomly along Pearl street in cambridge near my old apartment, just hanging out over the sidewalk. It was a weird place for a fruit tree, very urban and busy, and it didnt seem like anybody ever picked fruit from it because every year the sidewalk would get just absolutely disgusting with it. But I liked that tree because it was unexpected and neat. There's a sapling in our front yard that I was hoping was an apple tree but Im pretty sure its not. I like fruit trees I guess. It's just wild that you can plant a tree and ignore it and it will just rain fruit down on you. A miracle!

48. Do you have a favorite plate or bowl? No favorite plate. We have a multicolored set of bowls and I am partial to the lighter blue one because a lot of the bowl food I make is orange/reddish and I think it photographs well in a light blue bowl. I have a favorite beer mug, a fat little round keg shaped mug we got at Schilling brewing last fall. And I have a favorite wooden spoon, it's slightly rounded but has a great scraping edge on it for deglazing. And my favorite wine glass is a mason jar.

And BONUS QUESTION 34 yes i can read a clock. Genius confirmed!

(questions from this post)

#asks #a little bit of everything i guess??? #this blogger does not math

[atomic-rena]

What were your first thoughts to seeing king Julien?

well the first time i met him was in mada 1 and 2, i wasn't a huge animal person (still am not) so even if i liked the movies just fine they never really stuck with me at such a young age.

then in the wonderful year of 2008 tpom started to air on nick. now i still am not an animal person but i really loved tpom! i remember finding king julien funny, a core memory of him that always stuck with me was when he get's his crown stolen by the big rat guy and skipper retrieves it but gets badly beat up only for kj to notice a spot of dirt on it and throw it away in exchange for one of his many replacement crowns. i think generally i just saw him as an asshole tho, he is the cause of most problems in tpom. so yeah, funny guy but not my favorite, (mort was my favorite because he was cute).

but then last year i watched the really long video about mort. you guys know the one, "crimes of mort" or whatever its like 4 hours long. anyways, my jaw was on the floor the entire time. how could the cute little guy from the silly penguin be this eldritch entity?? what the fuck?!?! so i watched ahkj. i had a vague understanding of the mada timeline up until this point, but i figured since ahkj is the prequel to the movies (+ tpom) i should just watch it all in order. i dont really do much, so i have the time...

i was on a road tip with my family the next day, perfect! i can start ahkj! i was captivated by this world i had rediscovered, not only for mort but for king julien too. he was no longer just an asshole that causes problems, he was a more complex and tragic character. one that is somewhat delusional but tries his best to be good (most times). it was a much kinder take on him and my brain just really clicked with him. i watched a few more episodes and decided i should tell my sister.

we get to our destination and we had some down time to kill in a spare bedroom, i had my laptop with me. i ask her if she wants to watch ahkj with me. "it's actually kinda funny!" i modestly promise her, trying to convince her to jump off the deep end with me. she's tired and bored but ultimately still curious enough to say yes. we are fucking hooked to this godforsaken show.

the next couple of months are spent watching nothing but this fucking show with her. i not only start to like king julien more and more, but also maurice and clover. and mort, fucking mort. this little guy found his way into my heart again, this time of course for reasons other than just 'being cute'.

but back to the question: part of the reason kj had such a big appeal to me upon revisiting him was his queerness. i missed it as a kid but this lemur is queer, so obviously queer. but unlike other shows it's not something that others him, it's just him and it felt really natural?? i dont know if i can articulate how i feel fully in text, but regardless of it being very queerbaity, because they never outright say it, i dont think the show had too explicitly say it. now that's a very personal interpretation feel free to disagree but yeah that's kinda how i feel.

another thing is that is a big draw to this character for me is that he's not a fucking teenager. shows about teens are fine (i love the owl house!!) but as an adult that is no longer in high school i dont wanna watch shows about kids in high school. it just feels like every goddamn thing is set in high school (especially anime which i also love but, ughhh different topic). ahkj and just the mada franchise has the advantage of having non human characters, so it's still a funny kid cartoon thats aloud to be silly and lighthearted, but with adult characters with more adult responsibilities. i think ahkj just hit me at the right time in my life, i was able to relate to some of the more general ideas of the show, ya know??

so tldr; as a kid i didnt care for him in tpom but as an adult revisiting him in ahkj he was weirdly relatable. mort is still my favorite despite everything.

#also he's the only completely animal character i've ever found like hot?? #i didnt consider myself a furry before i watched ahkj #but now i believe i meet the minimum requirement #so yeah king julien is hot #something about him #anyways #ask #anon #rena.text #king julien #tpom #ahkj

[piercedpressure]

how has deja evolved over the years? i swear she gets redesigned like every few months /pos lol

LMAOOO ud be right cause shes changed stories each year (im painfully indecisive), this year is the only story ive genuinely been interested in exploring since i finally landed on a genre i think would fit her best? and i consider her redesigns to be a sort of progression into how ive grown as a writer and maybe as a person since shes been with me for so long lmao

ill place this under read more cause ill go into condensed detail about her evolution for her characterization, her design, and a small timeline for her story contexts but tl;dr shes grown so much and has gotten way more complex. i love her so much

2017-early 2018: she actually started out as a sona concept! design wise, nothing really special tbh, i was throwing stuff i really liked. for 2017, she was just a throwaway concept, but i was rapidly improving towards the end of that year...

mid-2018: ... that i ended up reusing her concept as a character concept, and during that year, i made an au with a friend that spiraled into something that lasted about the next 2 years, that then included her as one of the main characters LMAO. i wanted to draw crazy hair and also a cute mask, so i did. i ended up making it so that the masks were to both hide her identity (shes a fugitive in the au) and to be some sort of metaphor. her personality was very outwardly sweet, but she could also kill you so it best to not get on her bad side, but she was also in a constant learned helplessnes. big deja year

2019: design wise, i removed the mask, made her fatter (despite me not knowing how to draw fat people yet), and made her sorta baby-faced, since her character is a lot more childish during this bit? story wise, her story was included in an anthology about different kinds of love in a post-apocalyptic fantasy world. during this time, i was going through a Lot mentally, and it sorta marked the beginning of a really horrible period in my life thats still kind of ongoing, so i used her story in a more experimental sense so i can figure out different workarounds in an escapist way? this is also when i started pairing her with her now-partner-in-stories, lualhati, and from this point, lulu and deja are inseparable

2020: for this year, i was sorta putting her story off? i was really struggling to figure out what to do with it other than the deja/lulu love story, but at the same time, that marked me going through a journey of adding fat people to my work. dejas always been small fat, but her body hasnt actually been drawn well enough. we all start from somewhere though. she was a lot more calm in this version, and is sort of a leader figure for a village in a fantasy world. but i wasnt really feeling it.........

2021: last year was when i really started digging deep into what i wanted to do. i wanted weird gay trans cathartic art. so dejas story was that. still wasnt really feeling it, but u can tell i was really experimenting trying to land on something i was passionate about. while i did like her design since its a turning point in my art, and its visually loud (the color palette, holy shit), IT WAS SO HARD TO DRAW? i understand that 2021 me was really going at it with very loud and distinct designs, but the reason why i didnt even draw her for months after was because she was so fucking hard to draw. and i didnt put enough effort to portraying her fatness (which will soon become a very important aspect of her character). but were about to pull a gamer move

2022: up until now, since 2018-2019, i wasnt really satisfied with her story. it didnt really fit what i wanted, bc i was mostly concerned with how other people would react if i talked about them, especially since deja/lulu have always been very personal to me. but i had a vision. where deja and lulu are in a revenge drama thriller in a city in the middle of nowhere. and i havent stopped thinking about it day and night ever fucking since. i brought back a lot of elements from past designs (mostly cause i thought theyd look great, i was right), and im finally getting to a point where im figuring out how i draw fat people. now, dejas characterization came really easy to me (hypervigilent, short-tempered, mysterious, a second away from realizing shes trans). her story explores themes surrounding violence, secrets, and suffocating marriages, and while its a far heavier story than the past ones, its the first time ive been genuinely excited to see how its grown. i could ramble about this all day lol

deja is a growing character and she keeps getting better and better every time im exploring her, and she genuinely means the world to me. thank u for reading this if u have decided to read this

#i started answering this at 9 pm and now its midnight hi. im possessed by ocs #if u actually do read this i encourage questions about deja and lulu cause their storys been sitting in my brain for a week now oops #deja (deja/lulu) #also hi icarus my friend seven :o) hope ur doing alright #hyperfixings

[kopivie]

*cracks knuckles* this is what my art skillz are used for (SORRY THEN DONT LOOK GOOD I AMDE EM IN LIKE 15 MINS AND I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DRAW THEIR HAIR I STILL NEED PRACTICDE KSNEGSEGGE)

omg rigel sounds so so sweet but YEAH he might not be the best king,, IM GLAD SAIPHA AND HIM STILL ARE CLOSE THOOO i wish they could just both be the ruler but life isn't that easy

AND MANA??? SO THERE IS KINDA LIKE MAGIC IN HERE what are lapis and lazuli's mana like? im assuming they have their own magic and stuff AND HELP[ I LOVE THIS PART "if people knew what they were doing, they'd be ousted and jailed" PLEASEEEEEE

"the bigger kingdoms like the avrigian empire and the xedian dynast" THE WORLDBUILDING?? WHAT ARE THE OTHER DYNATIES AND EMPIRES LIKE??

dragons love it there because of how untouched it is by mankind." does that mean we get to see dragons. I FUCKING LOVE DRAGONS. PLEASE LET ME SEE DRAGONS--

"fun fact: lapis was born in bahmania, but was taken out of there by their human father against their mother's wishes." oh no. WHAT??? U CANT JUST SAY THAT AND DIP??

IM LOSING MY MIND[@@*@@;&=×&÷:&@$ YOU'RE FUCKING AMAZING, I'M LITERALLY ON THE BRINK OF TEARS RN THANK YOU

oh boy ... okay Okay Look this world is huge, lemme try to like. Not Fly Off the Handle

so for mana manifestations, there's three stages:

the first stage is basic life. mana is life energy — the first stage is just being alive. everyone possesses just enough mana to keep them alive. everyone also possesses an aura that shields them from minor injuries. it takes quite a bit of jostling to hurt someone — scraped knees are a thing of fiction, really. but bloody noses and broken bones are real, it just takes a little more force to cause that kind of thing, so the strength gap between real life and this world is a little big.

the second stage of mana manifestation enhances bodily capabilities. enhanced intuition, telepathy, psychokinesis, that sort of thing. saipha... well, to quote my notes directly:

“Instead, her specialty allowed her to smell a person’s true nature... and greatly empathize with people... Her ability to judge a person’s character is second to none. She cannot tell when a person is telling the truth or not, but if she cannot stand the smell of a person, then they are deemed suspicious per her order.”

she can also see the color of a person's aura, and it's not exactly something she can turn off, so she constantly wears a veil to shield her eyes.

the third stage of mana manifestation is elemental manipulation. you can control any one element at will!

lapis is a third stage manifestor by default because of their lineage — they have the blood of an elemental within them, so they can control water at will. lazuli on the other hand was a second stage manifestor, but thanks to the spirits' interference, they can now control water as well! (they only ever use it when cooking, though. they try to avoid dirtying their hands via combat.)

mmh i'll leave the other dynasties and kingdoms for another time, but! the thing about lapis being taken from bahmania!

in this world, hybrid children are... commodities. one of the rarest and most precious goods that money can buy. lapis' father took them out of that country with plans to make money off of them somehow, but last minute, his conscience stopped him. of course, that didn't stop him from physically abusing them until his sudden death, but that's what happened. he didn't even name them. lapis raised themself for two years before they encountered lazuli.

#[ 💭 — thoughts. ] #IM REALLY GOING INSANE #YOU DIDNT HAVE TO DRAW THEM BUT YOU DID AND I SHED A TEAR OR TWO #YOU'RE SO COOL AND ILY THANK YOU

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup! + announcement

things will be restructuring soon:

I may do one more normal reply roundup after this, but then they will become shorter, more sporadic, and less thorough - just whatever catches my eye that I have something to say about, rather than systemically trawling the notes of every post since the last one

the reblob queue is still full up until mid-november, but when that runs out I will also be changing how that gets filled - organizational tags will stay but commentary will be less frequent, and I’ll just refill as I go instead of big days of concentrated effort which means you may get the same artist multiple days and it may just run out sometimes if no one’s posted in a while

I will be stopping the patreon requests and wallpapers after fulfillment for november signups - that means there will be patreon requests and a wallpaper that go up in december, but none after that. I may or may not sub in a $5 postcard tier at that time, for a little print in the mail of whichever drawing was my favorite that month, but that’s still a maybe. other than that the patreon will become more of a tip jar, if you just like tucking a little extra spending money in my pocket so I can order better food sometimes :v I’m pretty sure the favorites posts every couple months should continue though.

daily drawings will definitely continue.

this is unfortunately necessary due to my health.

highlights:

the [preview] for next month’s wallpaper is up

patreon requests for this month are up for [my wife], [fleurdelis], and [matt]

my friend darian and I did a livestream and the vod is up on [youtube] with proper captions (I will not be able to do captions like this again anytime soon even if I stream again, soz)

my wife had an important interview and she said it went well, we should know how well by like the 4th (if it went well enough we get to move back home next summer)

on [story]:

@hobgirl​ said: go girl give me nothing!! actually this is exclusively how i talk to my friend, describing the book im reading like: SO her husband who died of cancer was actually a clone and her actual husband is only sort of dead because hes an owl now, but maybe not. either way the owl died and that made her lonely so she gave in to the supernatural force of whatever, that turned her into a big beast with thousands of eyes and gills and actual mountains maybe??? and she met HER clone who DIDNT have cancer!!!!! thats what i picture kirby saying as well

this is absolutely how I tell stories to my wife too lol (sounds like a wild book)

@ceylonsilvergirl​ said: talking to an excited 3-year-old. all you can do it nod and occasionally say “wow!’’ “for reals!?’’ “no way!’’ “what happened next!?’’

bless their hearts they are so excited but they’re not super good at pronunciation or sentence structure yet so you just gotta roll with it

on [zap]:

@hobgirl​ said: somehow i did not expect his skeleton to look like that. like.... it feels like he should have tiny lil ribs cause he can deform so much, but either way his skeleton was gonna be cursed!

I did intentionally not give him a sternum, not having the ribs fused to anything in front does give them a lot more mobility! but honestly he probably does not have an endoskeleton at all I just think it’s funny lol

on [teeth]:

@rajayohn​ said: oh my god you actually did it you made kirby look adorable with teeth

ehehehehehe >:)

regarding [stream]:

@ceylonsilvergirl​ said: The stream was fun! Thanks!

@slimey-2​ said: was bummed out to be busy during this stream, I'll catch the next one if you do it again!

totally! it was a good time and if I don’t corner myself into writing the captions I should be able to manage another one sometime :>

on [bears]:

@brainfullofhotsauce​ said: Omg Neapolitan

omg you’re right that was completely by accident :0

on [basket]:

@ceylonsilvergirl​ said: Kirby moses. koses

@jupiterlandings​ said: *deliver us from Prince of Egypt plays faintly in the distance*

yes. exactly. you get me.

on [clue]:

@chaosinanutshell​ said: A CLUE A CLUE!! movie??? heck yes plz. bring back my boys Joe and Steve, the OGs. me when I was taking my bio test

honestly the trailer is really cute, my childhood friends and I are old enough that we kinda aged out right as joe started but I sent the trailer to the group chat and they were like “ohhhhh we should watch it!!!!” (and those answers are in there somewhere! maybe!)

on [balloon]:

@angst-and-fajitas​ said: 'are they helium balloons? I told ya the kirb aint made for helium balloons! oh great now he's floatin away'

@ghostieblotts said: prev tags how does it feel to be a genius you're brilliant. i love this style!!

I’ve watched that vine so many times, I can hear it so clearly in my head lol. great joke. (and thank you!)

@ceylonsilvergirl​ said: when my son was very young, probably about 2 or 3, he had received a balloon from a kind employee when we were grocery shopping. I tied it to his wrist but he insisted he hold it instead, and when we went to the park afterwards... yes the inevitable occurred. it was one of those moments where he just plain had to learn. it wasn’t a tragic thing, more of a disappointment, but an important lesson nonetheless

aww, never a fun lesson to learn. (also she feels really good about how the interview went, I hope your meeting went okay too!)

on [baseball]:

@imkirb​ said: me when the padres, but at least they're SEXY B)

yeah looks like the padres really got the tar beat out of em this series. matt and I are mariners fans so... :’)

@ceylonsilvergirl​ said: Kirby darling, I’m afraid someone lied to you about how baseball is played

maybe he’s practicing! (it’s probably not very good practice.)

on [postcard idea]:

@imkirb said: shiii I wouldn't complain bout a postcard deal, that sounds fresh asf

@ceylonsilvergirl said: Don’t push yourself or your health on our account. Take care of yourself first

I’m doing my best to balance the two! we’ll see what happens.

from the askbox:

@chaosinanutshell said: Hallo :3 I was wondering, have u watched terminalmontage's kirbo videos? like the latest one for dream buffet which was basically a fever dream lmao

hope u have a good day (●'◡'●)

I’ve seen a couple of them, the humor is a little bit too fart- and scream-based for me sometimes but they have some jokes that really hit for me in there too. I love how absolutely brainless their kirby looks though lol (and thank you!)

#text #title text #long post #reply roundup #announcement #asks answered #readmore #hobgirl #ceylonsilvergirl #rajayohn #slimey-2 #brainfullofhotsauce #jupiterlandings #chaosinanutshell #angst-and-fajitas #ghostieblotts #imkirb

[autisthc]

ok i took the amtrak train back to ******* and ive been spending a lot of my life now just trying to absorb the current moment so i dont have pictures and i didnt even draw any of it (maybe ill paint it all later this week) but it feels so surreal coming back to an apartment and a life and a roommate that im really learning to love and be comfortable with.... like every dream that i excitedly talked to on the phone with my friends in highschool has come into fruition. sometimes i get very sad that people from back then arent here anymore, i cried on the bench at the botanical gardens because i wished i could just share this life that im proud of with them. they arent here anymore, but i am and im alive despite it all. he tells me we are the type of people who never stop loving people with the intensity we used to. our love is the loyal kind, and it lasts despite the hurt and even past the death of a relationship in this lifetime. i think of all my old friends, maybe its something in the air about this time of year that makes me revisit the past and the people in it. ghosts and ghosts and silhouettes and people who were probably just projections...... well i love myself now and most days that is enough but i know if i was coming back to a home devoid of the comfort ive built i would eat myself up with the loneliness.... a big part of my past failures was the inability to communicate in simple terms. i need to be told directly how much you care about me, and i need to feel like you are proud to love me. i still struggle with this and maybe i always will, but there is something inside of me that needed a lot of attention. i used to want to be famous and fabulous, but now im mastering the magic of everyday life. i just want this to last forever now. im waiting for the other shoe to drop, to see how it all changes this time. "i elongated my lift home, i let him take the long way round. i smelt your scent on the seatbelt and kept the shortcuts to myself."

#my face

[kagender]

4 and 14! :>

4. UHHHH you gotta give me a min because its a mix of twitter and tumblr fanart. I LOVE DRAWINGS!!!! 1000000% this shurara piece by citrus i had something blow up in my brain when i saw it that fateful night plates' jirazero art (sorry THIS and THIS comic by plates. always in my head THIS and THIS drawing by dosa (reminds me to draw more zeroro stuff) (also dosas kurudoro stuff has made me lose my mind on multiple occassions. but i cant link it all can i?) THIS SET OF SHURARA FANART BY ULAA..... lifechanging liferuining.... i need to get something from their skeb sometime..... huge fan of this kurudoro fanart by hodol. i have to try to NOT draw something similiar to it at all times im not gonna link them all but froggypastas redesigns of the shurara corps..... ok im biased bc i suggested them.... BUT I DIDNT KNOW SHE WOULD DO THEM ALL THAT WAS CRAZY!!! AND THEY ROCK!!! OKAY THATS ENOUGH. I LIKE MANY DRAWINGS. everyone keep arting on. drawings are gooood........ 14. i really like it there! its super tight knit so i know practically everyone. somehow even had run ins with people i dont particularly like. but ive got little malice in my heart so i try to be nice with them anyways..... also im a big fan of how so much of the fandom shares a braincell FERFREFG😭I THINK thats a way to describe it. overall ive had a super fun time here for the last.... checks notes.... almost 4 years..... and im excited to continue on! & make more friends :-)

#keroroposting

[markfaites]

HELP IM BACK, somewhat- hehe i didnt post in a long time cause my phone was dying.... so i had no memory storage to.... download... this app again- AHEM ANYWAYS!!! fed myself with tons of deltarune-related stuff to prepare myself for the chapter 3(it would be so fun if it will be released right on my birthday lma)

uhm sooo what do i say here after being gone for a year or so?...

helo. im happi...ur..hea...reedink fhis.🤓!!

I HAVE IMPROVED AT NY DRAWING SKILLS... ASTRONOMICALLY. somehow. your buddy Mark wasnt slacking off the whole year now was i👹

it feels like october is ALWAYS a big month of some big events, waiting for THREE funny thingies to come!! drones, deltatraveler section 3 and delta..rune... chapter 3- hold up did the deltatraveler creators do this... intentionally???? COME ON!! oh, now im just writing my thoughts out-text here, like i always do.... well, some things never change‼‼

oh yeah also QAITING FOR MYSTER SKULLS FINAL EPISODE TO COME OUT... the last one came out in october.... holy... moly.... dont tell me all of those 4 funny thingies will... JUST BLAST ME UP ON MY BIRTHDAY!??! NOOO THIS WILL BE TOO MUCH FOR MY POOR LITTLE FANBOY HEART TO TAKE!!! and yeah i am into murder drones cause N is my exact doppleganger... even if he is yellow(i hate yellow. grrrr....) but hey!! he even has an angsty teen half emo half edgelord mega cool and very lovable gf!!! i cannot argue with that! its like the one who designed N's personality... just... traced it from meee.... hmmm... EH i dont mind being stalked by some animation studios, knowing my kinn list is taller than the biggest skyscraper in the world, i could say i am used to this. AND YES I HAVE ALREADY DREW MYSELF AS A DRONE!! and even if i dont like violence or murder or anything like that because it makes me sick, robo-me is... a murder drone. cause hey!!! N is also one and he is my robo-copy!!

alsp im studying japanese with duolingo now. is that a good idea? will i be able to learn fluent japanese from there? idk, but i hope i will get to a level high enough that would help me start self-educating myself in japanese, just like i did with....other...languages.....AHHEM...... phew! anyways, maybe when the times get even better, i would be able to find what to post! and yeah i have quite a ton of drawings that piled up over the years.... but its all private stuff! its all people that i know or something very VERY personal that i dont share with... anyone!!!! maybe i could cherry pick some stuff from there to post over here like robo version of myself or... maybe other stuff. but the half-realistic ralsei drawing will DEFINITELY go here! whow, i love drawing my kinns. theyre just so... me that.. its just an urge at this point. isnt it also this way for you too? you just see a character that you either heavily relate to, or theyre just outright your copy, pasted in a different looking body with a slightly different voice (LOOKING AT YOU PEOPLE!! N, RALSEI, ARTHUR, DAve, papyrus, steven, simon... AH JEEZ I HAVE TOO MANY STUPIDLY IDENTICAL TO MYSELF CHARACTERS THAT I HAVE A VERY HUGE URGE TO DRAW BECAUSE THEYRE LIKE ME! well, im like an extroverted version of simon muhehe) and you just... go "damn... this is... just me but in another coating! i wanna draw them. i relate to them." I AM HORRIBLE AT EXPLAINING!!

#idk man #idk what im doing #yippee #silly goofy mood

[italianpitbullartworks]

Something I found hiding in a sketchbook! Again with those Prismacolor pencils. I stopped using them after this year because I actually did not like them! You'll notice that this looks a lot like the 2005 wolf, just better anatomy. I realized that 2005 was kind of my last year for full body drawings and also the last year that I put a lot of effort into my art with creating entire scenes. I ended up ditching that and doing just tons of headshots because they were just faster and less work. It took me many years to break myself of doing only headshots as the bulk of what I produced.

.

Also again with the whole feeling like hyper realism was something I HAD to do. I felt trapped in that cycle where I had to do ONLY traditional art, ONLY hyper realism, and ONLY use big fancy brands of supplies because that's what people demanded from popular artists at the time. By this point in my art journey, I stopped doing things because I enjoyed them and all I cared about was what other people thought of my illustrations. That's a super toxic mindset to get trapped in 💔 My life through teenage years and most of my 20s was also depressing and toxic but we dont need to get into those details. I bring it up because your personal life DOES affect the quality of your work!

.

This is also another example of expensive art supplies will not automatically make you some pro-level artist. Its VERY clear that I used very basic coloring techniques on this, the sketch itself was sloppy, and it was just thrown together with no real effort. It holds better anatomy than just a few years before it, but it was still extremely low quality. Its actually depressing to look back at old art and be able to see where it all derailed for me. Art was no longer fun. It became an OCD "chore" for me where I was constantly pushing myself saying "this is not good enough" instead of allowing natural growth to happen. I had bigger growth from 2001 to 2004 than I have from 2004 to about 2018!

.

What you have going on in your head matters more than you think. I should have taken a break and sorted out my real life issues at the time. Instead, I chose the unhealthy route of ignoring them thinking that if I just ignored it, the problems would go away. They did not go away. They only got worse and turned into a decade long derailment. This is the part where I remind you PLEASE CARE ABOUT THE KIND OF COMPANIONS YOU KEEP. Not everybody is your friend for the right reasons. If your friends cant be supportive of you emotionally during tough times and all they have to say is negative things such as blaming you for being in a toxic, abusive relationship, they're not your friends. If all they say is negative toxic things blaming you for the way your toxic family treats you, they are not your friends. Be aware of red flags. Have a support group of close friends. Have people who you can trust to talk about whats going on AND take a break from projects until you have that sorted out! THERE IS NO SHAME IN TAKING A MENTAL HEALTH BREAK!

.

Don't be stupid and push yourself to keep faking it. My biggest regret with my art is doing that. I pretended for years that I was fine, everything was fine, that I was happy. I had a lot of close friends at the time try to tell me that things were falling apart, but I didnt want to believe it. Young adulthood is hard. A lot of things can happen as you're trying to figure out what to do with your life. The one thing that WAS my fault was neglecting myself AND neglecting my projects. I cannot begin to tell you how many things have gone neglected since 2005 and its truly heartbreaking to face that now in the 2020s. Part of fixing that is publicly admitting these failures. The next step in fixing that is picking up the pieces of a broken past and now having supportive friends and a supportive partner. My art no longer has to suffer and my quality when I am happy is a complete 180 of this hot mess. Its hard to admit that my quality has sucked for so long, but its true!

.

Your progress and growth in art will stop if you are constantly stressed. You will always be burnt out. The more you create during burnout, the more angry and frustrated you will become. Social media always demands (the machine of it, not the people using it) that you CONSTANTLY post and will make you feel like a failure if you do not have daily content or even hourly content. Go hang out with friends and family. Go on vacations. Go play videogames. Go outside! You dont need the internet 24-7. It will be here when you get back. Take👏mental👏health👏breaks👏. You are not a machine. You have needs. Stop ignoring them. Its so easy to get trapped in this endless loop and its very hard to get out of it 🧡