#do i tag this as ciwyw?

[highqueenofelfhame]

a/n: i'm so sorry this one took so long to get out. it's very dialogue heavy and i struggle with dialogue and it was a tough one. i hope it was worth the wait.

rowaelin // 5k words // ciwyw masterlist // masterlist

The sun was barely above the horizon, and Aelin was already awake. Nothing but her ceiling fan and Rowan’s deep, even breathing filled the room around them as she reached for her phone and began mindlessly scrolling on social media. 

Cocooned within his arms and surrounded by his scent, her nausea hadn’t been what kept her awake.  It was just after eight and her body was so used to waking up for work that it refused to let her drift back into a land of sweet dreams. At least Rowan was still snoozing. He needed it as much as she did. 

Upon opening twitter, she opened trending topics to see what juicy gossip was making the rounds today. A few politicians were popular for no good reason, and a handful of celebrities were having their looks celebrated per usual. Third from the bottom, however, she stopped and stared. 

ROWAN WHITETHORN

His name glared at her in all capital letters, a bit of text beneath it reading: trending with Aelin Galathynius and Aedion Ashryver

Oh, gods. 

The trending tag was bombarded with articles from tabloids and fan tweets, the same few pictures circulating along with them. The photo of Rowan with the little boy at dinner was the main one, but she quickly understood why her name was attached when she saw the others. 

All of them were grainy, but Rowan and Aelin were no less identifiable. His arm was around the back of her chair in each picture. One he was leaning toward her and saying something in her ear. She could easily imagine that it was him asking if she was okay for the thousandth time. In another, she was pointing at Aedion with a fork, laughter dancing in her eyes while she gazed at Rowan, lips parted around words. 

Aelin looked down at the tattooed arm draped over her side and the hand that rested on her stomach. There was no way for her to know how he would react to this, especially not so early in the morning. It was starting to settle over her heavily as her phone began buzzing in her palm. 

MOM flashed on her screen, a picture of her and her mother from Yulemas last year bright in her face. Aelin sighed and began extricating herself from Rowan, lifting his arm and rolling out from beneath him. It would be quicker to just move over his body in order to avoid missing her mom’s call so she began crawling over him. 

So abruptly it startled a squeal from deep in her chest, Rowan launched into a sitting position just as her toes hit the ground. With his eyes still closed as he asked, a little too loudly, “Are we sick?”

The commotion had her phone slipping from her hands  and careening toward the ground. With reflexes no human man should possess, Rowan’s leg darted beneath the blanket and somehow managed to catch the phone with his foot before it shattered on the floor. Aelin gaped at him as he picked it up and handed it to her. His godsdamn eyes were only cracked open, what the f—

“Hi, Mom. One second.” She sandwiched the phone between her ear and shoulder, ignoring the huffy sigh from her mother. “I’m fine, spiderman. Go back to sleep.”

“I’m up,” he argued, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. Despite his words, Rowan was very much not awake. Squinty green eyes took in every inch of her body as she stood up and started walking backward to the door. She was still gawking at him as he followed after her and rubbed at his face. 

“Seriously, how did you do that?” A sleepy smile formed on his face and Mala above, she wanted to kiss it until it was a full blown grin. 

“It’s kind of my job, love,” he teased. 

“That doesn’t happen to be Rowan Whitethorn, does it, love?” Evalin drawled, clearly having heard what Rowan called her. That little pet name that tied her veins into pretty ribbons to make her heart pound against her bones. 

Shit. She was in deep fucking shit. 

“Yes. Yes, that is Rowan Whitethorn.” Aelin replied, Rowan towering over her as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pressed his lips to the top of her head. It was so short and sweet that she almost wondered if it had really happened as he slipped past her and padded into the kitchen. 

“And when were you going to tell me about this?” Her mother demanded. Aelin could vividly picture her pacing with one hand on her hip and the other whipping sharply through the air as she spoke. 

“Technically, I did tell you.”

“You told me you were sleeping with someone. There was no indication about who it was.” The name had been left out, sure, but she had only known him as Rowan and, at the time,  it was entirely too soon to tell her mother all the details. 

“I mean, we were? Rowan and I are in a… situationship.” The man in question turned to look at her, eyebrows disappearing into his hairline. Aelin grimaced. 

“What the hell does that even mean?!” Evalin cried. 

“Did I just get demoted?” Rowan turned and looked at her, eyebrows disappearing into his hairline. Aelin shook her head at him while biting back a laugh.  

“We’re seeing each other. We’re dating. He’s my boyfriend. Right?” She looked at Rowan amidst her rising panic over her mothers frantic, betrayed voice. He walked over, placing a glass of water in front of her, and leaned against the counter. Two fingers swept hair behind her ears and ran down the side of her neck. Something about his touch was a cooling balm to her nerves. “He’s my boyfriend. It’s just… it’s complicated. I was going to tell you—”

“What, when you got married?! I found out from news articles and your father getting questions about it this morning, Aelin.” 

“I was going to call you this morning after everyone woke up because like I said, it’s complicated.” 

“Don’t tell me you already eloped.” Rowan was grinning while he eavesdropped. Aelin reached out and punched his stomach only to be met with rock hard muscle. 

“No! Gods above, Mama. No. Not— fucking hell this is worse than I thought it would be,” she grumbled, forehead thumping against her boyfriend’s chest. Rowan’s hand stroked over the back of her head sympathetically. “Can we switch to video? This is too much to do over the phone while I can’t see your face.” 

The frustration in her words was evident when her voice cracked. When her mom accepted the video call, her features were soft. If she had been in Varese with her, Aelin knew her mother’s fingers would be stroking her hair to calm her down, the same way Rowan was now threading his fingers through the  golden strands. 

“Can you please put a shirt on before I put you in frame?” She asked, watery eyes turning onto his face. 

“I’m a bit more worried about you than I am about clothing right now, love.” 

“You can’t meet my mom like this.” Rowan’s eyes traced her face and body long enough that she sighed. “I’ll be fine for the thirty seconds it takes you to get there and back.” 

“Baby,” her mother cut in, worry clouding her features. Aelin looked away from Rowan as he jogged across the apartment. “You’re scaring me.”

“Because I’m scared. Of everything and your reaction and what Dad is going to say and— all of it is scary.” The worst part was that she wasn’t even entirely sure why she was crying. On a normal day, hard conversations were difficult, of course, but nothing she had ever cried over. Her parent’s gave her unconditional love. There wasn’t a worry in her mind that she would ever cease to be the center of their entire world. These hormones were going to kill her. 

When Rowan came back, he picked up her water and pulled on her hand until she stood, leading her toward the couch. Evalin was quiet and patient while he got her tucked in with a blanket and settled beside her. His face held no judgment as he brushed tears from her cheeks. 

“Everything’s okay,” he promised her, pointer finger bumping beneath her chin. Aelin smiled a little and shook her head before arranging her phone so her mom could see him. 

“Mama, this is Rowan. Rowan, this is my Mom, Evalin.” 

“It’s good to finally meet you, Mrs—”

“You’ll call me Evalin,” she interrupted with the wave of her hand. Rowan smiled and nodded once before looking back at Aelin. 

“It’s good to meet you, Evalin,” he repeated, trying her name out for the first time. Aelin’s mother beamed and the anxiety that was creeping and crawling over her nerves paused for the time being. 

“Is Dad around?”

“Right here, Fireheart,” Rhoe slid into view, immediately frowning when he took in her tear streaked face.

“Before you start, I’m not crying because of Rowan. I mean, technically I am, but it’s not anything bad. Rowan, my father Rhoe, Dad, I’m sure you already know him, but this is my boyfriend Rowan Whitethorn.” 

“We’ve met a few times actually,” Rowan chimed in, lifting a hand in greeting. “It’s nice to see you, sir.” 

“You too, son.” So far, so good. Both of her parents were smiling and Rowan was a steadying weight beside her. Somehow he felt more at ease than she did. Aelin just had to get the next part out without falling apart. A deep and almost cleansing breath filled her lungs as she looked up at the ceiling to keep the tears from rolling down her cheeks. Gods, this was ridiculous. 

“We um…” Aelin exhaled and looked at Rowan who nodded encouragingly. “I want to start off by saying that this is still really new. Our relationship and everything attached to it is really new. And I really was planning to call you today. I decided on that well before the news broke this morning.”

“Sweetheart. Just say it,” her mother said, giving Aelin a knowing look. Of course Evalin had it figured out before she had even tried to search her brain for a coherent sentence. Hell, she had probably known the entire time. 

“We’re having a baby.” Aelin’s lip quivered, and Rowan reached over to lace their fingers with the hand that wasn’t around her shoulders. She sunk into him, resting her head on his shoulder while gnawing on her lip. 

“Not planned, I take it,” her father tried to joke, and despite the tears that had sprung free, Aelin laughed. 

“No. Definitely not planned but not a bad thing either.”

“I knew it as soon as you spit out that piece of candy a few weeks ago.” Evalin beamed, dabbing at her eyes with the pocket square she had stolen from Rhoe’s suit. “Are you happy?”

“Yes. Scared as hell, but I’m happy. Are…” Aelin looked at Rowan, “You’re happy, yeah? Now isn’t the time to ask but we haven’t really addressed that.”

“I’m very happy,” he promised, leaning in to kiss her temple. Aelin let out a shaky breath and laughed again, rubbing at her eyes with her sleeves.

“I was an emotional wreck the entire time I was pregnant with you. I’m sorry that I passed it along.” To her credit, Evalin did look a little sorry. Aelin had grown up hearing about it off and on. Rhoe frequently reminded her that she was a spitfire from the moment of conception. 

“The hormones are a bitch. And the morning sickness? It’s all the time and it’s awful.” The only time she didn’t seem to be heaving the entire contents of her stomach was when Rowan was there to soothe it away. Sure, she had been sick a few times over the weekend, but something about the way he smelled seemed to keep it at bay for the most part. Human bodies were so bizarre. 

“You are supposed to come home in a few months,” Rhoe wondered out loud. Rowan seemed to stiffen a little beside her. “Are your plans changing in that regard?”

“I don’t know,” Aelin admitted with a shrug and a sigh. “I’m working every day that I feel able to. Except for today and yesterday because Lysandra put Aedion on a plane. The bastard is still asleep right now, actually, but I am keeping up with work. Usually just half days because I’m exhausted and sick all the time. And Rowan is so busy with the season we only see each other on the weekends. If I come home when I was supposed to, though, I’m sure his teammates and fans would be thrilled if he stopped getting red cards.”

“If you think I’m going to play better while you’re pregnant on another continent, you’re insane.” Her parents chuckled, but she knew how serious he was. Rowan tended to worry to the extreme and her being away wouldn’t help. 

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get closer to it. How’s that?” Aelin looked up at him and he nodded. It would have to do for now. There was too much going on with Fireheart for her to abandon her responsibilities entirely, baby or no baby. 

“Is there anything you need from us?” Her father asked, concern heavy in his brow.  Not that she could think of, and she said as much. 

“Between Rowan and Aedion, it’s all covered. Plus Lys is coming at the end of the week when Aedion leaves. I have my first appointment next week. I did have a blood draw that confirmed the pregnancy because I was so sick I couldn’t keep anything down. Lysandra berated me into an ER visit. They gave me some nausea medicine that seems to be helping, but we’ll know more about the baby next week. I’m not even really sure how far along I am aside from the basic math of when we met.”

“When you met?” Evalin’s eyebrows flew toward the sky and Aelin choked. 

“Sometime around then,” she tried to save her prior phrasing, but her mom saw straight through it. Rhoe, on the other hand, looked eager to think about anything but his daughter’s sex life. 

“What the hell are you already doing awake?” Aedion grumbled from the hall, rubbing his eyes as he stumbled into the room. 

“FaceTime with Mom and Dad.” Her manicured hand patted the open seat next to her.

“Oh shit, already? I thought it would be this afternoon.” Aedion dropped down beside her and leaned in, waving to his aunt and uncle. 

“Well. Mom found out about me and Rowan before I could even call her. Pictures of us from last night seem to be making the rounds all over the internet.” Rowan’s head whipped toward her, eyes wide and lips parted. His mouth was moving to form words, but before he could get an apology out she added, “It’s okay.”

The apology came anyway, and Aelin’s eyes jumped from his face to her mom and dad’s. Evalin’s lip quivered at the sincerity and Rhoe looked like he respected the man even more already. 

Aedion reached around to pat Rowan’s shoulder sympathetically. “It comes with the territory. Surely you know how famous you are.” 

“I mean, sure, when I’m playing.”

“Oh, you sweet child,” Evalin mused, causing Aelin to crack a wide grin. Their family knew better than anyone that certain athletes tended to sky-rocket into full on celebrity status. The tweets she had seen about all of them showed that tenfold. 

“Rowan, you are quite literally a superstar,” Aedion told him. “You aren’t just huge on the field. Surely someone has mentioned to you that you’re insanely famous.”

“My agent and PR team are always nagging me to go to events and get on social media but… no one has ever really…” Rowan trailed off at the looks on everyones faces. Aelin was holding back a grin, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. 

“Baby, you’re kind of a big deal. And your face and body really don’t hurt,” Aelin told him, squeezing his hand. “Like people were so excited that someone saw you out and about.”

“I– what?” 

“Okay, I think Aedion and I need to give Rowan a crash course in his fame. I’ll call you later?” Aelin said to her parents, who nodded in agreement. 

“We love you. And we are absolutely thrilled about a grandbaby,” Evalin swore, a sentiment that Rhoe repeated almost verbatim. A weight lifted from her chest as she once again felt like fighting off tears. 

“I love you,” she choked out just before ending the call, and then she was fully slumping into Rowan’s side. Giggles bubbled out of her all over again as she looked up at him. “I can’t believe you don’t know how famous you are.”

“What are people saying?” 

“This one is my favorite.” Aedion showed Rowan a screenshot of his phone. It was a tweet that read: Look, I know we’re excited that 1. Rowan was out for once and 2. That he was spotted with sOCCER PRINCESS AELIN GALATHYNIUS??? But can we just talk about how good Aedion Ashryver looks?

A choked sound came out of Aelin before she could stop it, snickering following immediately after. Of course that would be his favorite. 

She quickly opened the app, letting Rowan scan through news headlines and fan tweets while she peered at the screen with him. Most of them were good. A lot of the fans seemed to be happy about their potential romantic link. A few expressed their distaste, saying that Aelin was chasing fame after falling into irrelevancy. Those made her laugh, but Rowan didn’t seem to find the humor in it. 

“They shouldn’t be talking about you like that,” he grit out. Aelin merely shrugged her shoulders. 

“You can’t win them all. I’ve always been a little polarizing amongst the soccer community, anyway.” Gods, if that wasn’t the truth she didn’t know what was. 

A lot of people accused her of nepotism and everything that fell under that umbrella. Yes, she was a nepo baby. But she was doing her best to make her own way in the world without relying too heavily on what her parents had built. Starting Fireheart was the first step of that and while they had contributed financially, it had been her idea. They just backed it with money when she needed the initial boost. Aelin liked to think that, relevant or not, she was using her name and generational wealth to put good back into the world. 

“I had no idea I was this… big,” Rowan murmured, finally handing her phone back to her. There was an innuendo that Aelin’s childish mind couldn’t ignore. Her teeth clamped down on her bottom lip to bite back a laugh. “I knew Fenrys was, but he feeds into it. He likes the attention. I just assumed that since I stayed out of everything that didn’t have to do with the game, I was just known for playing.”

“There are girls that are dying to be me right now.” Aelin was grinning, but Rowan still wore a displeased frown. “Hey. It’s really okay. It was going to come out eventually and we don’t have to confirm or deny anything yet.”

“The thought of having to publicly comment on my personal life is so irritating.”

“Your comments can just come in the form of agreeing with what I put on social media or whatever statements I put out. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do, Rowan. People are going to speculate regardless, and while I would eventually like to talk about us, I don’t have to.” She shrugged like it was simple. It wasn’t, but she would make it as easy for him as she could. Rowan sighed and rubbed his eyes with his forefinger and thumb. “I bet you’re wishing you went back to sleep when I told you to, huh?”

“You shut up,” he murmured, a playful bite to his words. 

“People did find your instagram, by the way. And you’re only following me,” Aelin pointed out. “Maybe today we can post a picture or something and follow at least your teammates?”

“You’d help me with that?” Rowan looked surprised. 

“Of course. I’m really good at social media. We’ll get you all set up before you go home later. I’ll even help you with everything you want to post. It’s not like I won’t be around to help you out for the next eighteen years at least.” Rowan squeezed her hand in thanks, his lips finally tipping into a smile at her joke. A bit of relief flowed through her at his smile. “With that settled, I’m going to shower and I believe you promised me chocolates.”

“That I did.” Rowan pressed a chaste kiss to her knuckles as she stood and headed walked toward the bathroom. 

Everything with her parents had gone exactly as expected. The fact that they were happy about it despite the circumstances meant the world to her. Having that support in her back pocket at all times, no matter what was more important than she would ever let on. Rowan blended seamlessly in the conversations and she could only imagine how charming he would be when they officially met in person. 

Everything was still beyond terrifying, but she tentatively felt like everything was going to be okay. She hoped, anyway.

~*~

“I want to talk to you about something,” Aedion said, waiting to speak until the shower was on and the soft thud of the shower door indicated she was inside. Her cousin leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, rubbing his hands together as he looked over at Rowan. “She would kick my ass if she found out, so please don’t mention it for the time being.”

“I’m all ears.” Rowan had been expecting this. The two hadn’t spent any time together alone thus far, and since he was more like a brother than anything else, he’d anticipated the big brother talk. It had only been a matter of when, not if. 

“Aelin has… Gods, she’s been through some shit. I don’t know how much she’s told you about her last relationship, but it did a fucking number on her. For years she was a shell of herself and it was rare to even get her to smile. It would be a lie to say that she didn’t start acting like herself until she met you.” 

“What do you mean? She seemed in good enough spirits when I met her,” Rowan said, thinking back to the spitfire woman in the bar. Aedion’s head shook.

“Aelin has always been good at putting on a front. We call it her insufferable swagger. While it’s part of who she is, it lacks a certain edge. Being able to rile you up about soccer was likely just part of that,” her cousin explained, scratching at his jaw. “Once she started telling Lysandra about you, something was different. The first call they had after, Lys burst into tears as soon as they were off the phone. Normally she keeps Aelin’s secrets, but she couldn’t even keep it from me because she was so happy that she just seemed normal.”

“I can’t take credit for any of that.”

“Maybe not. But we all think you sparked something in her. You brought her back to life, Rowan. Even just being here, it feels like Aelin, not the person she tried to be to make us not worry about her. There were times when she told us she felt like dying. That she would never try, but she was drowning and dying sounded like the more peaceful option. Constantly she told us how tired she was, and she never meant physically. It was the kind of exhaustion you feel deep in your bones that feels suffocating. But once you walked into the picture, everything about her has been different.” 

Rowan turned the words over carefully, lips twisting while he considered. Aelin had always been the same to him, but he could see what Aedion meant in some ways. Now she was much sharper with her teasing tongue. It had him wondering if things would have been different without a troubled past relationship. 

None of it sat well with him. The idea of Aelin withdrawing into herself and withering away to fragile, dried petals made him want to hit something. That anyone had ever dampened her golden light was beyond him. It took a special kind of asshole to do that to a strong and brilliant woman. He didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, Aedion had a little more to give.

“I can’t stand to see her go back to that place. I like you, Rowan. I do. But if I think for a single second that you’re not good for her or the baby I will not hesitate in beating the absolute shit out of you.”

“If you come to that conclusion, I would probably be in agreement. I’d let you.” It was the truth. Might even outright ask for it. Rowan had always accepted the punishments that he deserved. 

“Glad we’re on the same page,” Aedion murmured, finally relaxing enough to sit back against the couch. The shower shut off moments later, the sounds of Aelin readying for the day filling in the silence. 

When she finally opened the door, makeup and hair done with a robe wrapped around her body, she chirped, “Chocolate?” 

“Yeah,” Rowan chuckled. “Chocolate.”

~*~

While they ate lunch at a little cafe downtown, Aelin had helped him make his first ever Instagram post. It was a picture of him leaning back in his chair, looking out at the bustling city around them. Despite feeling that he always looked awkward in photos, this one looked natural and candid. Aelin called him her boyfriend again and he was smiling when she snapped the winning shot. So far it had amassed several thousand likes and comments. Rowan wasn’t sure what to do with any of it. 

Three dozen chocolate truffles and several bakery items later, Aelin and Rowan wandered back into the apartment. Aedion had let them go out alone for some time together. Now that he knew people were eager to sneak photos of him, he noticed cell phones turned their direction all morning. It was hard to not be frustrated about it, but Aelin’s touch was a soothing balm to the rising anger. If she wasn’t bothered he would try his hardest not to be, too. 

“I probably need to go soon,” he said, sitting on the edge of her bed while she shucked off her leggings and pulled on a pair of little shorts. A sullen look pulled on her features as she stood between his legs, hands resting on his neck. 

“Would it work if I said that I want you to stay?” Nails lightly scratched at his scalp and it was an effort to keep his eyes from slipping shut. 

“It would make it harder for me to leave, but I do have practice in the morning. I can’t be late.” Never mind that he wished it weren’t the case. If she outright asked, he probably would stay and then hate himself for it tomorrow. 

“Fine,” she sighed, hands sliding down his shoulders. Rowan wasn’t sure what it was about her touch, but it drove him mental in the best way. The loss of her skin on his was a new kind of hell he hadn’t known existed until he met her. “I have a scan next week. Do you want to go with me?”

“Do you want me to be there?” If she didn’t, he wouldn’t go. It might kill him a little, but he would stay away if it was what she wanted. 

“I obviously want you there. Otherwise I wouldn’t have told you about it. That wasn’t my question. ” Ah, there was that sass Aedion had talked about earlier. 

“I want to,” he swore, fingers trickling up and down her outer thighs. A smile took over her entire face and damn him, he couldn’t help his own grin to match. 

“It’s Thursday afternoon. I can text you the details about where so you can meet me there from practice.” Rowan nodded as he collected the few things he brought with him and followed her out to the living room. 

“It was good to meet you, man,” He told Aedion, the two bumping fists casually. Aelin was smiling while she watched, her fingers covering her mouth like an eager child. 

“Hopefully I can make the trip over here again soon.” Rowan would genuinely enjoy that. Aedion seemed cool and cared so much about his cousin that he doubted he would ever have anything negative to say about the man. 

Aelin led him to the front door, their loosely linked fingers swinging between them. Unable to help himself, he pushed her hair back from her face. Her eyes hid a secret smile as she gazed up at him. Gods, she was so beautiful.

“I’ll see you Thursday, then?”

Rowan nodded, “And I’ll talk to you every day in between.” It felt a little cheesy to say it out loud, but Aelin’s smile was enough to chase away the self consciousness he felt.

She stopped him with a hand around his wrist as he turned to open the door. When he turned back to look at her, Aelin rocked up on her toes and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. He had a feeling she knew it was a teasing move. Those brilliant turquoise and gold eyes confirmed it when she pulled away, mirth swimming in their depths. Such a cruel, beautiful thing she was. 

“Drive safe,” she said, one more little smile shared between them before he walked out the door and began his short trip back to Doranelle. 

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[taylortruther]

Do you believe them 👀👀 you can not post if you don’t want to and respond in a tag post? Curious to hear your thoughts 😩

i think something major happened and if it's cheating i wouldn't be surprised but i also wouldn't be surprised if it was something else if that makes sense.

also, we can talk about this later because i'll be busy the next couple of days, but i do think there was some strife that she struggled to deal with earlier in the relationship. it's based on nothing but my own vibes and reading of hoax, ciwyw, renegade, etc so that colors my opinion

[sleepless-crows]

Get to Know Me

i have 2 sideblogs that have nothing that isn't here @afraid-to-jinx-it @thepretentiouspoet

if you haven't watched the new black panther movie, please block the tags 'black panther wakanda forever spoilers', 'wakanda forever spoilers', 'bpwf spoilers', 'black panther 2 spoilers', and 'black panther spoilers'. i'll use all these tags so you can do only one! but these are the ones i've noticed many people use

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favorite books: six of crows, crooked kingdom, king of scars, rule of wolves, the ballad of never after (currently)

favorite authors: marissa meyer and leigh bardugo

what do i post: fandom stuff (so mainly grishaverse), lots of taylor swift stuff, funny reblogs, and rants

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taylor swift (like very prominent in my blog)

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HI THERE

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what do you put on these things

my favorite characters ever are Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Zoya Nazyalensky, and Nikolai Lantsov in no particular order (i do have in other fandoms but in my life currently, it's them)

i should tell you what i post/reblog about but i myself can't even count them. but if i had to give a generalization, 85% of the things i post are either about six of crows or taylor swift. but i post a lot more so, should i write that down??

okay so. taylor swift. six of crows. rants. percy jackson. the lunar chronicles (i never post but i reblog, i don't know why). keeper of the lost cities (i liveblog reading stellarlune and its been *counts on fingers* a few weeks since i actually made progress help). short short essay rants. mbti. once upon a broken heart (only reblog because i don't think a lot of my followers have read it lol). trying to get haiku bot's attention. humor or stupid posts (its subjective, you tell me). omg wednesday now too.

please send me asks. i am bored. everything is still and unmoving. literally say or ask anything. just ask. please.

i also have a knack of making six of crows x taylor swift songs lyric analyses because so if you like that great

Renegade and Kanej

All Too Well and Kaz Brekker

Hoax and Kanej

also a ton of other ones that are just a lot. dwoht with kanej and zoyalai. ciwyw with zoyalai.

and some that aren't analyses but treacherous is kanej. new romantics is the crows. mirrorball is nikolai lantsov.

(and a lot more in my drafts and probably some i forgot)

(you can find them better in @afraid-to-jinx-it than in this account if you want to search my blog for them)

i tag queues with "tryna block queue out cause i'll never impress you"

[sunflowersrain]

hey! hope ur doing well! i was looking thru some of ur edits and was wondering if you could make something similar to the middle three of this post here https://sunflowersrain.tumblr.com/post/657531878036897792/those-windermere-peaks-look-like-a-perfect-place but w rep tour in color, specifically pictures during the acoustic set and ciwyw set? if it’s possible to add a lyric could it be “my castle crumbled overnight, i brought a knife to a gun fight” ? I’m so sorry for being so picky, but i just love the og edit and wanted to narrow it down to make it easier for u. regardless if this isn’t possible i will take any rep tour wallpapers! tysm! ily and ur edits sm! ❤️

also sorry for the extremely long ask!

hi!! I'm doing good, hope you're doing great as well🦋 I do have an idea of how to make the edit that you're asking, I will try my best and I'll tag you when I post it! I do not know how long it's going to take me though...The only question I have is whether you want me using the same folklore font or the reputation one? Thank you so much for all the sweet words, sending love and hugs 💕💕

#asked #asks #sunflower answers #edit ask #sitthereinthishurt16

[bravomckenzie]

“i said i love you” for bobby and olivia!

hey thanks!!!! i have missed writing my beloved idiots. i’m glad u clearly must have missed ‘em a little too :’)

word count: 1500ish

note: bro imagine if bobby had grown a pair back in the villa and just told liv he had feelings for her? would’ve saved me a lot of writing!!!! smh. anyways, this concept is taken from a little fic/series i was planning on doing but ended up kinda scrapping (at least for now) so this is cool that i get to use a little piece of it in some way! also editing was half-assed sorry mama

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Gary was sat on one of the stools in the boys' dressing room as he watched Bobby pace back and forth. Bobby had kind of, sort of really freaking out for almost the entire day after the text from this morning announcing the final recoupling would be that night. This was it, wasn’t it? Now or never?

“What are you so afraid of, mate?” Gary finally asked after the extended moment of silence.

Bobby came to a sudden stop, turning slightly to look at Gary directly, “I don’t know! I’m not normally like this.” He let out a sigh, “I just don’t want to risk losing her as a friend, you know? My best friend. Like, ever. I’ve never gotten on with anyone the way I do with her in my entire life.”

“Even if the feelings weren’t returned, you know damn well that Liv would still be your friend.”

“I guess.”

“But they are returned.”

Bobby rolled his eyes, “You don’t know that.”

“She fancied you when she was still with me. She told me.”

“That was… what? Like well over twenty days ago. Lucas wasn’t even here yet.”

Gary shrugged, “I dunno what to tell you other than that.” He stood up and crossed the short distance between them. He grabbed Bobby’s shoulders, speaking with the most serious tone Bobby had ever heard out of him. “Mate,” he said, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

After a firm, friendly slap on the bicep, Gary headed out and left Bobby alone in the dressing room. It hurt more than Bobby would’ve been proud to admit. As soon as the door shut behind him, he let out a loud groan. He knew Gary was right. And he knew that if he didn’t try, he’d regret it for the rest of his life.

Bobby walked over to the full-size mirror that hung on the wall, staring at his reflection as he gave himself a pep talk. He desperately needed it. After a minute or two of a silent, internalized discussion, Bobby left the dressing room too.

He went straight to the kitchen, knowing that’s where he’d find her. Liv and Chelsea had a silly tradition of splitting a grilled cheese before every recoupling. “It’s impossible to be nervous when you’ve got a cheese toastie,” Chelsea told Olivia the night this little thing they did began. Bobby had been somehow convinced to make a few of the sandwiches for them. All it really took was a bat of Olivia’s eyelashes, along with a ‘pretty please’ in that posh accent he loved making fun of, and Bobby was somehow in front of the stove before he even realized he was doing it.

Bobby was correct, finding Liv sitting on a barstool next to Chelsea. He could’ve sworn he felt his air leave his lungs at the sight of her, already dressed with her hair and makeup done. A green dress stoned across the bust and sparkling even in the shitty fluorescent lighting of the kitchen. Her hair was curled, long and flowing down her back.

“Aye, Livie,” he said, trying to sound as casual as he could and not like he was absolutely bricking it. Liv turned around, eyebrows raised and suggesting he continue. Bobby rubbed his hands together nervously before he continued, “Do you think I could pull you for a chat?”

Chelsea pouted from beside Olivia, “Bobby, babes, we’re having our toastie.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. It’s uh, kinda important.”

Liv didn’t need to hear anything else, hopping off of her stool at the sound of the word important. She smiled at him, “Terrace?”

Bobby nodded, “Yeah. Terrace.”

His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he wouldn’t be surprised if Liv could hear it from the few feet away she was as they climbed the stairs to go up to the terrace. Once finally up there, they sat in silence for a moment, both of them staring off at a particularly breathtaking sunset that filled the Spanish sky with shades of pink and purple. The way the light danced across Olivia’s pretty face gave Bobby the little shot of courage he so desperately needed.

Bobby sighed, “So...”

“So...” She repeated, turning in her spot to face him directly.

“I, um...” he stopped and his lips snapped shut, suddenly realizing he didn’t really have a plan here. Bobby groaned and ran his fingers through his dreads, suddenly looking off into the distance again.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” He went quiet again, making this claim hard for Olivia to believe. His mouth twisted to the side as he went through his options. Much like most of Bobby’s plans in life, this one came down to ‘well... fuck it.’

He finally looked back to Olivia, their eyes fixed on each other. Bobby took a second to take a deep breath before he spoke, “I love you.”

Liv’s eyebrows shot up, “What?”

“I said I love you.”

“What do you mean, ‘you love me?’”

Bobby’s heart rate managed to pick up even more than it already was, now convinced it might burst right out of his chest and into Liv’s hands. As if she didn’t already have it there anyway. He averted his gaze for a split second, but not for long when he reminded himself that he was too far to back down now. Eyes locked once again, he answered her, “I mean I’m in love with you.”

Olivia didn’t say anything, not at all helping Bobby’s internal meltdown. She just stared at him, still a little wide-eyed as she tried to process what he just said. The silence sent his mind into overdrive, forcing word vomit out of him, “I know this is so sudden and so out of left field. Like, I’m sorry to just throw this at you like this but fuck... I just know I’d regret it until the day that I die if I didn’t say something, if I didn’t try. I’m not expecting anything out of you, Olivia.” She noted the use of her full name, which he never called her. He continued, “I’m really not. I just needed to say it, you know? Whatever you-”

Bobby’s spill was cut off by a knock on the terrace door, Lottie making a come-on motion, signaling that it was time to go down to the fire pit. Bobby’s heart sank as he realized he didn’t even get a response out of Liv. He had no idea if he had just fucked himself, and he wouldn’t until her phone rang with a text once they got down there.

They went back downstairs together, tension thick enough to be cut with a knife as they walked without saying a word.

After another twenty or so minutes of the producers getting everything set up passed. Hope had already made her obvious choice of Noah. Liv’s phone dinged as soon as the couple sat down together.

Bobby watched her intently, looking at her for the first time since they got settled by the fire pit. He nervously drummed his fingers on his thigh as he waited for her to speak. He wasn’t sure if he had ever been more nervous than he was in that moment in his entire life.

“Well, um,” Liv started, stopping as quickly as she began. Bobby could see the gears shifting behind her eyes, clearly making this decision off the cuff. He was unsure if that was more likely to work in his favor or not.

Olivia carried on, “I thought that I was going to stand here tonight and know exactly what I was going to do. And well, I’ve always been one to go with my gut, follow my heart or whatever.” Bobby shifted nervously when she looked at him. “I don’t know. I could stand up here and ramble, but I think I rather just cut to the chase, yeah?”

When Olivia looked to Lucas, the furrow in his brow was deep-set, only worsening the guilt she already felt for the decision she was about to make. She held eye contact with him, “and I am so, so, so sorry...” Her eyes moved to Bobby, “but uh, the guy I’d like to couple up with is... Bobby.”

“What!?” Lucas barked. “Are you kidding? You’re kidding, right?”

“Luke, I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t even have the decency to dump me with some dignity?” Lucas asked in a clear state of disbelief.

“Bobby literally just pulled me to talk right before we came down here. I didn’t-”

Olivia didn’t get to finish what she was saying, cut off by Lucas standing up and storming off. He nearly shoulder checked her as he passed. Her eyes snapped shut with the sound of the sliding glass door slamming as he went inside, so loud it could be heard all the way by the fire pit. It almost surprised her that the door didn’t shatter with pure force.

“Well,” Chelsea said with a clap of her hands, trying her best to move things along, “Where were we? Bobby?”

All eyes shifted to Bobby, still in his seat and utterly shaken to his core by Liv actually picking him. Their eyes met again, and he finally hopped up before making his way over to her. What was he supposed to do now? He didn’t think this far ahead. Bobby also didn’t plan on the whole Lucas tantrum, but hey, he didn’t really plan any of this, did he?

Luckily, Olivia tossed her arms around his waist as if nothing happened, and finally spoke directly to him, voice almost a whisper, “You have some ‘splaining to do, mister.”

A warm chuckle rumbled in his chest, “I know.”

#eeeeeeee thanks for this it was fun!!!!! #i hope u like it mama!!!! #do i tag this as ciwyw? #sure i guess why not #ciwyw #new tag too #drabbles #Anonymous

[jinnaga]

this me rn

#4am where i am rn but atleast i got 3 striked off my to-do lists #☝🏼 #also pls kindly dont message me anymore about taglist for ciwyw as much as i like to tag yall who would wanna be tagged #i dont think i could keep up so i thought itd be better if i just close it #sorry 😭

[9w1ft]

Do you have a post about the ciwyw miss americana clip?? I’ve been obsessed with it lately and I always feel like I’m missing something

ugh i feel you! it’s the best 🥰 i don’t think i have a main post about it, just lots of little reactionary stuff. check my #ciwyw and #kwyw tags ☺️

#ciwyw #kwyw #i’m assuming you know the theory that karlie is filming the clip/could be singing along at one point

[lucas-koh]

2020 appreciation

I got tagged in a load of these (THANK YOU) and haven’t got round to doing mine yet I’ve been so scared I’ll forget someone but... here we go! The list of people who made my 2020!

Organised alphabetically.

@ajs-wife Reid! What would I do without you... my first proper friend in the fandom and you’re been such a great one. Always checking in and so kind and just know you’re so loved okay?🧡

@americangrunge juul my chaos mother, you’re hilarious and you know I love the shitposting😎 and your writing is literally insane, I get all the feels from it and it’s so so beautifully done. No exaggeration when I say yours is some of my favourite writing I’ve come across💛

@anotherbeingsworld always love seeing your thoughts on Stitches so much😭 and you’re so sweet and that appreciation post you wrote was so so lovely I nearly cried aksndjf and I just know when I get a chance to read your writing I’m going to be blown away❤️

@ariendiel first of all you’re a crazy good writer. I’m literally in awe of Rosehill House and the other stuff I’ve read from you. Leader of the Noah simps you might be turning me into a full on Noah simp... there’s no one else I’d rather write Henkub/Lubby with💜

@bellarxse an amazing writer and an amazing person!🧡 seriously, your writing is so so crazy good and I have no idea how you produce so much😆 I can’t wait to get stuck into your twc stuff. you’ve also been such a helpful and kind friend to me and I appreciate you so much💚

@bobbyboops the first person who spoke to me in the fandom🥺 also the amazing author of the first fic I read!!

@bobbyscupcake I know you’re not as active any more but I love how supportive you are and so kind and such a pillar to when I find joined the fandom💗🥺 keep doing you!

@bobbymckenziess we don’t interact loads but you make me laugh a lot with your asks and posts in general and I love ciwyw and your moodboards are gorgeous🥺💚

@bratzlahela I know you’re inactive but it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t tag you. You’ve been the source of so much happiness to me this latter part of the year and I hope you know that! You’ve heard me say it all before but you’re so talented and your songs are insanely good like PLS I want them on Spotify so I can listen all the time😭 and you even write fic so well too??? Leave some for the rest of us maam. Your comments are my favourite thing, every time I get one I squee and react along with you🥺❤️

@bubblelaureno you’re the sweetest! So dedicated to your work and talented too, your edits are stunning and your writing is such a breath of fresh air in the sea of bobby fics. You’re also so kind and understanding, never stop being you❤️

@bubblybabynailpolish some of your edits have had me crying they’re so funny, not to mention the legit ones which are actually so cool and well done. Generally you’re super hilarious and nice and it makes me laugh when you always get bobby asks😂💙

@bumblebeesbuzz-litg an icon!! You’re so funny and kind and I love listening to you talk about BTS even tho I never have a clue what you’re on about😂 you’ve always been so helpful and welcoming to me and it means so much and I’m happy I now get to call you a friend☺️🖤

@daisybarks i don’t know if we’re still getting poly-married but😪 it’s fine ig. Lmaooo you’re amazing and so so funny and insanely talented (emotional support fic writer!!!) and you deserve all the good things💜

@deuchess I’ve missed seeing your litg stuff as you’ve moved over to twc, but since I’m there now too👀 you’re absolutely hilarious I can’t tell you how many times your responses to asks have made me laugh. So sweet and welcoming too!!💙

@fuseboxmusebox ash!!! You’re so sweet and funny even if I do scare you sometimes on discord😪 you’re also crazy talented and I will wait so long to read your stuff - never worry about that!! You’re a fantastic person💖

@katbee you’re one of my favourite writers and I also cannot wait to read your twc stuff (and get caught up on SLM😌)!! Thank you for being so supportive and kind and for your comments on my work too they mean the world to me❤️

@kiki-the-creator foot friend! So lovely and funny and your support before was everything☺️ I need to find time to read all your work I know it’s gonna be good🥺🤍

@kingkassam your comments!! They make me so happy every time - not to mention you’re so funny and creative with these gorgeous moodboards 💙

@kittidot I’m so in love with buried love as I told you back when I first played it - you created something so fun and well executed and it’s just amazing. All the characters are so good and different and the writing is👌 You’re so lovely too and I can’t wait till I get a chance to read more of your stuff!💓

@lahellacute you’re so supportive and you know your responses to Stitches make me so happy🥺 but I’m also glad we got to talk and you’re so lovely!💚

@longbobmckenzie Sarah you are the best for putting up with the chaos squad😂 youre also a great voice of reason when I’m worrying about something silly and you know I adore w&s😌💙

@loveislandff always so sweet and kind and you know I ADORE your art! And the little bit I read from your fic was so sweet😭 I just know your talent is gonna keep developing and I can’t wait to see more from you🤍

@maraudern05 according to costar I don’t have to avoid you today 😌 thanks for laughing with me at mr pug and being so so kind and helpful and EVERYTHING! You deserve the world!💜

@mchamster you just make me laugh so much. So many of your posts have had me in absolute tears😭 you’re also super supportive and kind - never stop being you mchamster❤️

@mountainmanxoxo my other chaos parent😌 I love your humour and playfulness and you make my day so often that I can’t pick specific moments because there’s too many. You’re also so supportive and thoughtful and you have an amazing heart ♥️

@mrsgaryrennell you’re so sweet and the amount of love, care, and detail that goes into your characters and writing is amazing😭 the day I get to start blue and hazel I know I’m gonna be blown away!!💖

@nerdferatum the sweetest, most talented, lovely, and also funny person?? That’s you!! Honestly your reactions and stuff often have me laughing so much and well, like I said, you’re just so genuinely nice and your art is bloody stunning. You’re an amazing person and amazing friend and I’m so glad I get to talk to you!🥺❤️

@spicysriracha LILI!! You’re so sweet and one of first accounts I found here and MWS is one of the first fics I read! I love the British solidarity 👏🏼😎 and you’re just great, keep being you🧡

@therealityofthematteris I’m so happy to be able to call you a friend! You’re so supportive and helpful and lovely and talented - take a hint is one of the best fics I’ve read this year and you absolutely deserve to be proud of it! ONS was the first fic I really raved about. Thanks for letting me ramble about the randomest of things and always helping out! And also, for making me laugh! ❤️

@venueska you were so welcoming and lovely to me back when I was a fresh account and I’ve always appreciated that so much🖤 among us with you was so funny and you’re generally funny and your fics are amazing too! I don’t know if you’ll ever come back to them, but just know I loved them☺️

@zigtheeortega also super sweet and helpful and your writing is such a treat to read - for both choices and litg!! (You literally made me so damn sad with out of time aksndjfk) Again, can’t wait to get stuck into your twc stuff😆♥️

So I know I’ve forgotten people, I just know I have😢 if we’ve interacted at all in any way this year YOU BELONG ON THIS LIST!! Everyone I’ve come across on here this year is amazing and special and y’all mean the world to me💓

#margot talks #margots mutuals #amazing people

[highqueenofelfhame]

rowaelin // 5.8k words // masterlist // ciwyw masterlist let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing :) i hope you enjoy <3 i can't wait to see all your comments. y'all are kILLING me with them on this one.

As much as he knew he shouldn’t be, Rowan was drunk. Again. 

Tomorrow they had a match against Adarlan on Doranelle’s home field. While Rowan laid on his back,  staring at the ceiling fan above him with a full half-empty bottle of whiskey resting on his stomach, he knew they were going to lose. Not because Adarlan was better or because they wanted it more, but because Rowan was a selfish piece of shit and couldn’t put the bottle down. There was no way he would be in any condition to play tomorrow— at least not well. 

Burying his sorrows at the bottom of the bottle seemed like the better alternative until he could figure out how to repair what he had catastrophically obliterated. It had been a full week with no word from Aelin. Not a single one of those days had passed without him sending an apology text into the void. There had even been a few voicemails Wednesday night that went unanswered. He wouldn’t be surprised if she was erasing them without bothering to listen. He deserved that much. 

Rowan Whitethorn had never had social media. Ever. Not even in high school when it was just becoming a cool thing to do. Nobody needed to know that much about his life. At this point in his career, his agent and PR team begged him to do it because it would garner him more popularity. Even Lorcan posted on instagram from time to time and kept everyone happy. 

The thing that finally drove Rowan to making an instagram account was stalking Aelin Ashryver Galathynius. It was easier for his thumbs to scroll through her feed while nursing sips of whiskey, trying not to double tap on any pictures. He was pathetic enough— Aelin didn’t need to be aware of his sulking and pining. 

This all came after he googled her name paired with various words like ‘spouse,’ ‘husband,’ ‘wife,’ and ‘wedding.’ Nothing came back with a result, but it had been lurking in his mind when she didn’t answer his question earlier. Besides, Rhoe Galathynius very well could have been her father-in-law. As it were, she wasn’t married, and Evalin and Rhoe only had one child: their daughter. At least if she was married, there was no record of it. No photos of her in an elegant white gown standing next to the love of her life. 

Good. He could deal with that. 

What he couldn’t deal with was the photos of her in bikinis, arms wrapped around the waists of other men. She was nestled between the pair on the deck of a yacht all three of them with wide smiles and sunglasses covering their eyes. Her bathing suit looked more like lingerie and Rowan had never wished so hard for summer to come back around than he was right then. 

There were pictures of her with a stunning brunette woman, both of them dressed in finery or night-out attire depending on where they were headed. Aelin with a full face of makeup, with sultry dark eyes and a full pouty lip was enough to drive him into madness. 

He found photographs from holidays with her family, Aelin perched on a couch in comfy clothes and thick socks with Aedion Ashryver standing behind her. Further down her page he found the ones from years ago of her on Aedion’s shoulders after he won some match or another. It was captions Always my hero. 

Lower and lower he went until he finally hit her first post: a simple kingsflame flower from nine years ago with the caption Fireheart. He supposed that was where she garnered the name for her foundation. Gods above, she was incredible. A super-hero amongst ordinary women. 

Rowan scrolled back towards the top of her instagram, all the way back to the most recent one. It was from their day downtown, when they had bought a piece of chocolate hazelnut cake and sat outside the bakery. Aelin was laughing around her thumb that she held between her teeth. At that moment, he had been teasing her about getting the frosting everywhere. Behind the camera he was smiling just as brilliantly as she was. The light in her eyes, her smile, the utter joy that radiated off of her… It was enough to make him breathless all over again. 

“Fuck,” he murmured to himself, heart squeezing and soul dying at how absurdly beautiful she was. It didn’t seem fair. Everything about her was perfect. Not just outside, but inside, too.  Aelin Galathynius was the most selfless and loving person he had ever met. Inside and out, she shone with the light of a thousand suns. It made it impossible to look away and broke his heart that he had driven her away so sharply.

“M’such a bloody dobber,” he mumbled, zooming in on her face as close as it would get, until she was little more than a monochromatic cluster of pixels, none of her features distinguishable. 

The phone fumbled where he held it over his face, falling directly onto it. Rowan swore, the taste of metal blooming over his tongue where his tooth had cut through his lip. Worse than that, though, was when he noticed the giant heart that appeared in the center of the picture he’d been staring at. 

Rowan had accidentally liked it. Just as quickly, he unliked it and tossed his phone to the other end of the couch. Jail. He needed to be in phone jail. 

It had over ten thousand likes and three hundred comments. There was a chance she would never notice the notification appearing and disappearing. She might never notice. It didn’t stop the ice creeping into his veins, though. The idea that she would realize how utterly pathetic he was, as if all the texts weren’t indication enough. 

Rowan swore violently under his breath and grabbed his phone again. With bleary, bloodshot eyes he opened their text thread to send off another message. Just as his fingers started their drunken dance over the letters once again, his phone began to ring loudly. The vibration shook him to his core as he beheld the name flashing on his screen, a photo of the two of them laying on her couch flashing in front of him. The sight of it knocked the wind out of him. 

Aelin. 

Fuck. Shit. Mala fucking fry him. 

“Hello?” he said, breathless like he’d been running a marathon. 

“Hi.” Aelin’s voice was quiet. Rowan could imagine her sitting in the middle of her couch, a tv show paused. 

“I am so sorry, baby,” he began, letters and syllables stringing together with no space between. “I need to explain, to—”

“Did you just like that picture on my instagram?”

“I…” it was long and drawn out as he squinted at the ceiling, trying to find a way out of it. There wasn’t one. Heat crept up his neck and bloomed over his cheeks like rose petals. “Ye-yeah. That was me.”

“Are you drunk?” was her follow up question. On the other end of the phone it sounded like she was rolling over in bed. Gods, he would love to be wrapped up in bed with her. The expanse of her golden skin under his hands wasn’t beat out by anything, not even football. 

“No,” was his quick response. 

“You sound drunk.” It was impossible to tell what, exactly, her emotions were. Rowan swallowed thickly, setting the bottle on the coffee table and nudging it out of reach. 

“I sound like a pathetic bastard that ruined something perfect.” 

“You’re definitely drunk.” If Rowan wasn’t positive that she hated him, he might mistake her tone as amusement. 

“I miss you. And I’m sorry,” he paused to hiccup, “And I want you to tell me what to do to fix what I’ve broken.” A heavy, resigned sigh came through the phone and Rowan froze.

“Start with sobering up–” Fuck. She was going to hang up, and he had blown his only chance at making things right. Shit.

“Don’t hang up,” Rowan pleaded, lip tucking between his bottom teeth while he waited for her to respond. 

“Get some sleep and win your game tomorrow. After that… maybe we can talk.” If that was what it took, then yes. A thousand times yes he would do both of those things. Anything to get her to talk to him, anything so he could hold her, feel her lips on his skin, taste her and feel her beneath him.

“Do you promise?” A schoolyard thing to say, but he couldn’t help it. The gift of hearing her voice again after an entire week of deafening silence was the most beautiful thing he could ever imagine hearing. If he could, he’d bottle it up and get drunk off it. It was better than any alcohol, any drug. 

“I promise,” she replied, and Rowan swore he heard a hint of laughter weaving between each letter of those two, simple words. That couldn’t be right, though. Aelin was mad at him. They wouldn’t be laughing together anytime soon.

“Okay.” It felt stupid to say, but it was the only word he could find. 

“Okay.” Aelin’s voice was still soft and told him nothing of the status of his forgiveness, or if he needed to beg on his knees and worship her as penance. He would never, ever stop if that was what she required. “Goodnight, Rowan.” 

The line went dead before he could say anything else and a new zap of determination electrified his blood. If she wanted a win, she would get it. But he had to get sober first. 

With a pained groan, he pulled himself upright. A few deep breaths later the room wasn’t spinning quite so quickly and he was able to stumble to the kitchen. The smell of coffee made his nose wrinkle when he opened the bag. It quickly filled the space of the kitchen as he dumped the beans into the grinder, wincing at the shriek it made. Coffee and bread would help sober him up, and then he would focus on fluid intake to not be a useless sack of meat on the field tomorrow. 

He leaned against his counter, ignoring incoming messages from his teammates checking on him, and shoved half a piece of bread into his mouth. A cold shower would wake him up, and tons of water and painkillers before bed would help the hangover tomorrow. 

Anything Aelin wanted, he would give her. Starting tomorrow night by defeating the Adarlan Wyverns and handing it to her on a silver platter. 

When he finally drifted off to sleep, his phone screen was still illuminated in his palm: that final photo he’d taken of her at the bakery wearing a smile just for him. 

~*~

As soon as she took one step into the Neon Moon, she found Connall looking over at her with a healthy dose of surprise in his eyes. Aelin moved through the crowd that had gathered to watch the game, managing to snag a single barstool in front of the beer tap. 

“Water, please,” she half-shouted over the loud voices filling the room. As soon as it was in her hands she took a long drink before placing it down on a napkin in front of her. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself.” A crooked grin spread across his face and he leaned forward on his forearms. “Watching the game?” 

“Against my better judgment,” she sighed, ruffling her fingers through her hair. Now that she knew that he played for Doranelle, she just couldn’t miss it. Had she known from the get-go, there wouldn’t have been a single game that she missed. Even if it meant she’d be catching up on work during the short commercial breaks. “How much do you know?”

“Oh just… everything.” 

Aelin groaned and looked up at the ceiling. She wasn’t upset that he’d told his friends, his support system. Rowan needed that, just like she did. Though she had yet to tell her family, she was going to do it soon. Maybe tomorrow or the day after. Some of the dust had to settle with Rowan first. 

Though she was content to let him stew for a few more days, the single like she’d gotten from an account called actuallywhitethorn made her pick up the phone. A result of her doom-scrolling before bed, the notification had dropped from the top of her screen. By the time she clicked her notification icon, that particular like from that specific account was gone. It was like fate, she decided, for her to have seen it in its brevity. If he was miserable and pining enough to accidentally like an instagram picture, it wouldn’t hurt to call him. So she did.

At first, she didn’t know what to say, but as he talked it became more and more clear that he was very drunk. All his words had melded into one long syllable, and the fact that he was likely drinking away his feelings and problems had tugged at her heart. He really was adorable when he was drunk, calling her baby and trying his hardest to apologize, begging her not to hang up the phone. As much as she really did want to talk to him, it wasn’t a conversation to have while he was only half-aware. The apology she deserved needed to come from his sober lips, not drunk, loose ones.

After they hung up, Aelin had decided she would go to the bar to watch the game. It didn’t seem like a feat she could conquer at home alone on her couch. Even with Lysandra a phone call away, it felt too big to do on her own. The bar made sense.

“Congratulations?” Connall offered, and it was the first time she’d really picked up on any shyness or hesitancy from the man. 

“Thank you.” It was still so new, so foreign. The racing of her thoughts hadn’t died down about it yet, her emotions didn’t have a full grasp on the situation. “How is he?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.” Kind of. If his texts were any inclination to his mental state, he was having a rough go of things at the moment. “Feels like a piece of shite.”

“Yeah, well.” That was a little deserved after what he’d said to her. Connall didn’t seem to disagree, merely shrugging as he followed her eyes to the television.

The game had been on for fifteen minutes, and Doranelle had scored one point. Adarlan had nothing. It was a bit of a feat to score so early on in the game, showing just how skilled Rowan and his teammates were. A camera zoomed in on the players, a towering, dark-haired man with a glove tucked under his arm, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face. Aelin’s eyes widened and her head whipped toward Connall when the spitting image of him appeared on the screen. The only difference was the color of the curls: Connall’s were black, his brother’s golden. 

“You have a twin?” By way of answer, Connall merely winked and nodded back at the TV where Rowan had come into view. His uniform for home games was navy blue with white letters. Hands braced on his hips, he joined his teammates where they talked. It was only when he turned around that she saw how horrible he looked. 

Though his skin was golden brown as ever, his face was ashen. Dark circles clung beneath his eyes and his bottom lip was swollen and scabbed over. The sweat gathering at his temples didn’t do anything at all to make him look well, if anything he just looked sicker. 

“Whitethorn looks a bit… peaky,” Connall said cautiously, the corners of his lips tugging downward into a scowl.

“As drunk as he was when I called him last night, that makes perfect sense.” She was frowning, too. The most put together part of him was his hair, the single french braid down the center until it all met in a mess of a bun on the top of his head. 

As soon as the whistle blew, he inhaled and exhaled a deep breath. That was when the cameras zoomed back out to take in the entire field, all the players getting into position. Aelin watched closely, one eye on the ball and the other always aware of where Rowan was in the frame.

For a while, it was a lot of passing back and forth, working up and down the field, the ball getting stolen one way or the other. Once, Adarlan got close to scoring but the goalie for Doranelle was quick to block it and pass it back down the field. Another of Rowan’s teammates was quick to get it back toward the Adarlan goal. It was passed back and forth between a few as they worked further and further down the pitch until a pass from Connall’s twin had the ball being juggled between Rowan’s feet.

Watching Rowan play brought back the old feelings she felt watching Aedion. Her competitive temper rose in her chest as he sprinted downfield with the ball between his feet. Somehow, he never tripped or stumbled. When he passed it off to a dark-haired man, Vaughan, Connall told her, it was with tricky footwork that he made look easy. Seconds later and a single pass back toward him, Rowan lunged from behind a crimson jersey. By some grace of the gods he managed to land the perfect kick that arched beautifully through the air. Adarlan’s goalie missed it by a fingertip.

The bar became deafening– some of them rooting for Doranelle, others wanting them to lose for the sake of Varese’s team. On the TV, Rowan’s teammates pulled him off the ground and jostled him amongst them, Connall’s golden-haired brother smacking a kiss to Rowan’s sweaty forehead. 

If Aelin didn’t know any better, she would say his teammates were being a little more gentle with him than they might be otherwise. Rowan’s jaw remained clenched tightly, that muscle feathering as he nodded to the only person on the team that was taller than him where he stood down the field.

“Who is their goalie?”

“Lorcan Salvaterre. Team captain and one of Rowan’s closest friends. My twin’s name is Fenrys.” Aelin nodded and rested her chin on her hands as the next play started, polished blue nails digging into her palms. She knew of most of these names from Aedion’s soccer days and the afternoons at her parents house where her father prattled on about different team rosters.

The minutes ticked by, Rowan fiercely focused on the game. That look of sheer determination never left his eyes, even in the brief moments of reprieve he had to gather his wits. Whenever he could, Connall hovered near her for the moral support she’d come in search of. It meant more to her than she could ever put into words. Being in a new city, far away from her support system, with no one else to lean on? It was really nice to know he was there. Even if they barely knew each other. 

When Adarlan scored, Aelin had over half the pub groaned. The Doranelle players looked beyond pissed. Rowan and Lorcan shared matching expressions, both of their jaws grinding as they shook their heads before getting back into position. 

It led them into more volleying back and forth, the ball little more than a blur between feet. And then it was back in Rowan’s possession. It was like the wind sang for him, pushing him faster as he bolted down the field. Almost as soon as he made his goal, the one that would get them a point ahead though, a whistle blew and a yellow-checkered flag was waving. 

“Shit,” she murmured, closely eyeing the playback. It was a fair call, he had been offside. When the camera showed Rowan again though, he was pointed at the goal, mouth wrapping around words that looked a lot like fucking bullshit. The words weren’t more than a whisper as she said, “Rowan, you stupid idiot.”

Connall chuckled, despite the dire situation at hand. She knew he was only laughing at her, not his friend’s situation. Still, she wadded up a napkin and threw it at his head. It nailed him in the temple.

“It’s not funny,” she hissed, nibbling on the end of her straw, a sick feeling roiling in her gut.

The referee pulled a yellow card brandishing it in front of his face. A spark of anger flickered behind his eyes, mouth opening to spew something else when Fenrys grabbed him by the shoulders and made him turn away. Aelin exhaled a tight breath as Rowan shook his head on screen. Fenrys said something in Rowan’s ear and he nodded, lips thin in a stiff line.. It was enough to make him nod and hustle to his spot on the field, shaking his arms out when he came to a stop.  

Beneath the bar, Aelin’s legs were bouncing. Butterflies flitted their way through her insides enough that she braced her hands against her stomach as though it would calm them. It was impossible to look away as Adarlan took their free kick from the offside, launching the ball halfway down the field and into another frustrating back and forth between the two teams. 

This was always the part of the sport that Aelin hated. No, perhaps hated was too strong of a word. The build up always made her feel nauseous, waiting for one team to make one quick move to kick everyone into high gear to avoid a goal or make one. Being pregnant, it was worse. It felt as though her stomach was in the back of her throat.

Just before the end of the second half, disaster struck. Aelin saw it coming. She was pretty sure everyone watching at home or in the stands did, too. Connall swore filthily as Rowan ran for the ball and dove feet first to knock it away from Adarlan. Except in the process, his cleats clashed into the other player’s feet and they both went down in a heap on the field. 

“What the fuck did you say to him?” Connall asked over his shoulder, never taking his eyes off the screen as a ref jogged across the pitch. 

“I told him to win and maybe we would talk! I didn’t tell him to–” A yellow card appeared in the ref’s hand, followed by a red one and Aelin lost all of her words. Both were for Rowan. 

“I think he took that a little too do or die.” And so it seemed he had.

Distantly, she heard the announcer saying it was the first time he’d ever been red carded in his entire career. The patron’s of the bar murmured amongst themselves, many of them asking what the hell was wrong with Whitethorn tonight. 

The cameras zoomed in to where he walked off the field, sweat trickling down his face. Their coach followed him to the end of the field, the words he muttered only for Rowan to hear. Though he looked ready to hit anyone that was close enough, Rowan simply nodded. Fenrys caught his arm just before he walked off, mouth moving too quickly for Aelin to decipher. 

The last clear shot of him was walking into the tunnel and off the pitch, body rigid and muscles rippling while he pulled his jersey off his body. 

“I… I need to go,” Aelin said to Connall, who only nodded in response. She threw a few bills on the counter as a thank you and pushed her way out of the pub, walking as fast as her feet would carry her to her rental car down the street. 

~*~

Even though his team had another win under their belt by the time the game was over, it had been a fucking disaster. Rowan watched the second half on his phone from the comfort of his car after getting kicked out. 

It was the first time in his eleven year career he’d ever received two yellow cards, and consequently a red card, and been ejected from a game. All that anger and frustration from the week, from his hangover, had boiled to a head and exploded on the field. Next week he would have to sit out, too. 

Failing his teammates didn’t sit right with him. Lorcan was probably fuming and Rowan anticipated a less than friendly visit from him tomorrow. Coach Malakai was mad, too. The last thing he told Rowan was to get his shit together before practice on Monday. Only Fenrys, who never missed a chance to be a jokester about anything, had murmured words of encouragement before he left the field. 

By the time he pulled into his driveway, he was exhausted. His entire body ached from that last dive. There would definitely be bruises on his hips and thighs tomorrow from the way Ress Taylor landed on top of him. All he wanted to do was let his muscles thaw under a shower so hot it burned. A glass of whiskey would be great, too. Not that he deserved it after his performance on the pitch.

The game was… rough.The entire day was rough. From the time he’d woken up his mood had been in the pits of hell. Drunk Rowan hadn’t been able to piece together what Aelin said just before they hung up, but sober Rowan did as soon as his alarm sounded. 

Win your game tomorrow. 

Not win the game, like she used to say when she thought he was the coach. She didn’t ask him to wish the boys good luck like she had in the weeks prior. The words had changed. Win your game. The game he would be playing in, that belonged to him. She had given him a personal goal and though he helped his team achieve it, he still felt like he failed. Especially since he would have to sit out next week, too, because of the red card.

It had been stupid of him to think she wouldn’t find out the truth before he had the chance to tell her. Everything had just gone to such absolute shit before he had the chance. Rowan Whitethorn would be groveling at the feet of Aelin Galathynius for the duration of his life, and then some more after he crossed into whatever afterworld awaited him. 

The news of his career was just another lie he had to make right. All day it sat with him, festering like an open wound. It wasn’t that he suddenly felt bitter about his job. He didn’t. Rowan loved what he did, he loved the sport. It was his greatest passion and love in life. But Aelin deserved to hear about it from him. Not knowing how she found out only made it worse, until everything he felt was bleeding out into the astroturf beneath his feet and getting him thrown out of a game.

Upon pulling into his driveway, something white in front of his house caught his eye. His heart came to a stop as soon as his car did. Rowan didn’t even bother to pull into his garage, just parked beside the white SUV and stared at his porch. It felt like a fever dream, getting home from a hard game and seeing Aelin on his porch swing. The wind slowly moved her back and forth, but when she saw him step out of the car she stood, hands sliding into her back pockets. 

“I told you to win, not get a red card before the second half was up.” The lilting tone of her voice made his knees buckle. It forced him to gather himself before approaching, slowly walking up the stairs until he stood one below her.

“My mouth keeps getting me in trouble this week, it seems,” he said back, mouth completely dry. It was an effort to make his tongue form the words with his lips. “But it got you to my house, so I suppose there are worse things that could have happened.”

“Few things are worse than a red card.”

“Not talking to you might beat out all of them,” he said smoothly, fingers sliding along each of his keys until he found the one for his front door. He held it up between two fingers and Aelin nodded, stepping to the side and gesturing toward the door. 

She wore simple leggings and an oversized t-shirt, a pair of socks and slides on her feet. Though she wore no makeup and her hair was twisted half-hazardly onto the top of her head, she had never looked so beautiful. Lorcan would laugh himself hoarse if he heard the thoughts Rowan had about this woman, yet he didn’t care. Even in her most dressed down and casual state, she was breathtaking. 

He led her inside, locking the door behind them. It was late enough he assumed she would be staying for a while. Few people made a nearly two hour drive to turn around and leave upon arrival. Then again, he hadn’t seen last weekend going that way, either, and it’s exactly how that night ended.

“You played…”

“Shittily,” he offered, hanging his keys on a small hook by the front door.

“Brutally,” Aelin amended, slipping off her shoes and heading to the kitchen. Rowan watched as she grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and handed one off to him before heading for the couch. “Have you eaten?” 

“No. Have you?”

“Not since lunch.” Phone in hand, she curled up in the corner and pulled a blanket over her lap. “I doubt we have any notable options, but Taco Bell is open and is shockingly one of the few things not making me sick at the moment.”

Rowan watched her from where he stood in the center of the room. It didn’t feel real. None of today did, really. It could be the hangover talking, but the day felt like a horrible dream. He was scared to move, scared that if he sat on the couch with her that she would vanish into nothing and he would wake up alone in his bed. 

“Are you going to just stand there all night?” Her eyes didn’t leave her phone while presumably selecting everything she wanted to eat, eyes narrowing at the screen briefly in thought. A moment later she held it out for him. Rowan stared at her, heart thundering away in his chest. “Rowan.”

“Right. Thank you,” he murmured, taking the phone and trying not to acknowledge the rush he felt when his fingertips grazed her palm. Not big on fast food most of the time, it took him a little longer to pick his dinner. “What do I owe you?”

Aelin just snorted as she submitted the order, eyes rolling slightly before placing her phone face down on the couch next to her, head tilting as she said, “Come to think of it, maybe you do. I think your twenty dollar fast food order might do me in completely. I’ll have to take out a loan.” 

“I can Venmo it,” Rowan said dumbly, reaching for the phone in his back pocket.

“I don’t need your money any more than you need mine.” Once there might have been a teasing edge to her voice. Her delivery was much drier than he was used to from her. But there it was. That stupid thing he’d said before he could stop himself, the words that brought everything they were building crashing down.

“Sit,” she told him, patting the cushion next to her. Rowan was careful to leave plenty of space between them. There were definitely lines and boundaries now. The risk of getting ensnared in one was too great and he had a lot of apologies to make. With his arms elbows braced on his knees and hands clasped loosely between them, he stared at the floor. 

“You’re actually getting a pretty sweet deal.” Aelin sighed, shifting so she was facing him full on. His green eyes didn’t leave the rug. “According to google my net worth is two-and-a-half times what yours is. Isn’t that crazy?”

“I didn’t know,” he finally said. As much as he wanted to look at her, he couldn’t. He was a fucking coward. Guilt was a disgusting, oily thing crawling beneath his skin. It threatened to consume him whole even worse now that he was talking to her than it had the rest of the week. 

Aelin sighed again, finally pulling his attention to her face. She laid her head back against the sofa and a few tendrils of hair fell down to frame her face.  Rowan’s fingers curled into fists to fight the urge to sweep them behind her ear. She must have sensed it because she did it herself. The blue of her fingernails was the same blue as his jersey. Part of him wondered if it had been on purpose. 

“I think tonight we can call a truce.” Aelin seemed to notice his gaze on her fingers because she folded her arms over her chest, curling her hands so her blue nails were hidden. “We’ll eat, sleep, and then tomorrow… Tomorrow we’ll talk.”

“Okay,” he agreed. The word was falling off his tongue as soon as she finished speaking. Her cheeks seemed to twitch with amusement, and if he had reacted differently last week she would probably be smiling. 

“I am curious, though. Did you make an instagram for the sole purpose of stalking me?” 

Rowan cringed. His eyes squeezed shut, lips rolling between his teeth as he looked away. Beside him it sounded like Aelin laughing, though it was little more than puffs of air coming out of her nose. It would have been easy to go on the defensive, to add one more lie to their crumpled house of cards. Instead, he went with the truth.

“I missed you. I just wanted to see your face.” He looked back over at her then, but it was she who looked away now. Her eyes were glassy, the dim lighting making the unshed tears in her eyes sparkle. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s these fucking hormones.” She dismissed him with a wave of her hand when he started to reach for her. It stung more than he would ever let on, but he retreated and dropped his hand into his lap while she used the collar of her shirt to dry her eyes. 

It was silent after that, the two of them alternating from staring at nothing to sneaking glances at the other. Rowan only knew because he caught her staring at him more than once when he thought he could take a second to drink her in. It was only when the doorbell finally rang and he stood that she said his name, stopping him when he was halfway to the front door. Turning to look at her, eyebrows raised in question, he watched her lick her lips. 

“I missed you, too.” It was barely a whisper, spoken so softly he might have dreamed it if he was any more tired. 

Still, it was enough to get him through the rest of their silent night. Enough that it didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would when he insisted she sleep in his bed without him. Enough to chase him with sweet dreams when he finally slipped into the guest room down the hall and tumbled into a deep sleep. 

@elentiyawhitethorn @autumnbabylon @fancysludgeshoelamp  @wordsafterhours @live-the-fangirl-life @the-hospitality-of-knives @tangledraysofsunshine @readandlisten @westofmoon @rowanaelinn  @morganofthewildfire @writtenonreceipts @feynightlight @emster1622-blog @scarblx @thefaetrove @loveyatopluto @actuallybarb @peppermint-fae @the-devils-own @scottmcgivemeacall @livingmylifeforme  @wordsafterhours @foreverfallingforthestars @llyncooljones @emily-gsh @loosesimplicity @emilyrose111294  @charlizeed @aelinchocolatelover @cretaceous-therapod @sayosdreams @fireheart-violet @the-regal-warrior @backtobl4ck @shyvioletcat @mariamuses

#tog #throne of glass #ciwyw #ciwyw5 #call it what you want #rowaelin #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #throne of glass fanfic #throne of glass fic #throne of glass fanfiction #tog fanfic #tog fanfiction #tog fic #rowan x aelin #aelin x rowan #connall moonbeam #fenrys moonbeam #lorcan salvaterre #aedion ashryver #lysandra ennar #sad boy rowan #soccer!rowan #baby fic

[whatiwillsay]

Do you think it’s toe or Lily in the CIWYW segment of Miss Americana? I def don’t hear a girl singing with her but I 100% hear a second voice that sounds feminine saying “yes”

i think they’re both there lmao there’s two people check my swiftwynson tag

#anonymous #swiftwynson

[femmetay]

do not reblog

listen i know y’all love dragging kaylors as a pastime and making a mockery of theories but the truth of the matter is that by constantly making fun of a small group of people within this fandom you’re constantly giving those blogs more and more attention and allowing their theories you’re sOoOoOo uncomfortable with to be seen on a larger scale and by constantly lurking big PR kaylor blogs you’re kind of just exposing your embarrassing fixation with hating on a group of people when it’s literally so fucking easy to just ignore them, blacklist all related tags, and don’t go onto their blogs, but instead y’all take literal screenshots of their posts, and say you know what!!! i’ve had ENOUGH of this!!!!! here’s an entire essay on why this is fucked up and why i hate these evil vile wicked delusional mentally ill people and why they need to be eradicated!!!! (your words, swiffers, not mine)

stop fucking looking at it. the kaylor fandom has been here since 2014, it’s 2020, if people wanna make embarrassing reaching posts that they KNOW are reaches and literally ADMIT are embarrassing reaches, let them reach in peace and stop hate-stalking their blogs to keep drumming up a conversation about why you hate kaylors so much

like for example i don’t lurk the joe + taylor smut tag and screenshot sexually explicit fanfiction and go ranting every 2-3 days about how these disgusting people in our fandom need to be obliterated. i don’t take screenshots of the edits people made of taylor giving joe a h*** *** while swimming in turks and caicos and write a dissertation on why it’s wrong. do i think it’s absolute buffoonery that people think karlie’s voice is singing along with taylor’s in the CIWYW clip from miss americana? YES i do!!! have you seen me make a single post or comment about it??? NO you have not because i don’t give a shit enough to let you know that i think certain fans are clowning themselves, because no matter what i say or do, they are going to keep believing what they believe and even if they do believe it’s karlie’s voice, does that really have an impact on me or taylor directly????? are either of us suffering bc of this???

it’s one thing to be uncomfortable with theories and speculation and to voice that, but it’s another thing to obsessively fixate on kaylor blogs and read their blogs like it’s the daily news or some shit. get a job. go the fuck outside. stop going to *insert your favorite kaylor blog here* and working yourself into a rage over the same kind of posts you’ve been hate-reading for six years. grow the fuck up! tune out the noise! shut the fuck up!

and don’t reblog this post!!! :)

#im literally so tired of seeing Big Fan Accounts just posting screencaps from kaylor blogs #and making their own little masterposts over how Fucked Up they think these people are #just grow the fuck up and stop lurking the kaylor tag it's not that hard :))))))))))) #stop visiting the biggest kaylor PR blogs every morning like you're getting your daily news #if u stop looking at it #it'll stop making u throw a hissy fit on the daily #just saying!!! #antis don't interact #I'm just tired ajksghsjkgh #y'all really bring this shit on yourselves sometimes #@ anti kaylor clowns #like really your obsession with the kaylor fandom is sick #at what point does your antagonistic clout turn into obsessive negativity kajsghsjhg #get a grip

[beendressingforrevenge]

21 Questions Tag!

tagged by @force-of-a-man (thank you!) rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people

nickname: Baz. My full name is Bazegha but most people struggle with the ‘gh’ sound soooo I’m Baz lol

zodiac: aries

height: 161cm

hogwarts house: ravenclaw or gryffindor

last thing i googled: eso-wso (I have to submit an abstract for the conference and needed to make an account)

favourite musicians: taylor swift and jason walker

song stuck in my head: look at her now by selena gomez

following: 165

followers: 176

do you get asks: not really tbh, if I do then it’s mutuals <3

amount of sleep: looool insomnia life. I’m doing my best to work on my sleep hygiene. Though recently I’ve had a cold so been coughing myself awake :/

what are you wearing: a purple kurta and my favourite pj bottoms

dream job: author/voice actor

dream trip: to see the Northern Lights

instruments: idk what this means. instruments I like? ones I play? I like a range, love orchestral accompaniments. I play piano and guitar. 

languages: English and Urdu

10 favourite songs as of now: beautiful ghosts, woman like me, nice to meet ya, lose you to love me, cruel summer, paper rings, iftye, dwoht, ciwyw aaaand FRIENDS

if you were an animal: I think I’d wanna be an elephant 

favourite food: ummm chocolate gateaux 

random fact: i have written around 60 songs; around 55 of them have music composed with them too

my aesthetic: night time, darkness, stars, moonlight, slight breeze, drizzling of rain, thunder rolling in the background

I taaaaag: @iforgotthattaylorexisted @cruel-style @jasi-swiftie-13 @nastyhawildestdreams93 @taylorrollshereyes @taylorswift @dreyblr @yohohohoareinlove @swiftliv @kissmetwiceitllbealright @nurseaddison @femmetay @camomille-tay @couldseethebestinme @justbehindtheveil @daylightnletitgo @wannaknowyoubetternow @alejjjhandro @yescs1996 @lovemythsworld @ofrunningfoxes @whatcanisayimgay @keytomykingdom @callitwhatyouwnt @swiftlyfindingmyplaceinthisworld

#thnks for tagging me #i feel so loveddd

[bravomckenzie]

chapter 32 is up!

it’s the most wonderful time of the year! bobby n liv celebrate christmas together. adult feelings are felt again, so viewers discression is advised. even with that being said - this ones mostly just pure, tooth rotteningly sweet fluff.🎄🎅 @bobbyboops

(i really love how this chapter turned out, so i really hope y’all enjoy it!!! 🥺)

ciwyw: the playlist • olivia’s playlist • bobby’s playlist • lucas’ playlist

#litg #love island the game #ciwyw #bobby #litg bobby #love island the game bobby #litg fanfiction #litg fic #i tag this shit as different things every week idk what i’m doing

[lookwhatyoumademedo]

ok i said this in the tags on a reblog already but here’s my Thoughts on reputation and lover and the way they’re connected:

i feel like ciwyw is the true ending of reputation, since it closes off the two lagest themes in rep (love and reputation). however! it’s the 2nd to last track. we still have new years day. so what’s that doing there? 

rather than closing off the album, nyd is moving on, quite literally the day after the party. so given that, and the fact that it’s a love song-- something that whether it’s done intentionally or unintentionally-- connects it to lover. 

it’s a transition, that carries on into the i forgot that you existed. while the last track of rep is about looking into the future and realising you’re ready to move on, focusing on the good instead, the first track on lover is about briefly looking back and realising you have.

and yeah this is a fun theory, there’s no further evidence for this................. Or Is There

during lover, there’s glitter on the floor after the (new year’s) party.

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#ive had this in my head for a While and when i saw the video i was like........ yeah. Yeah #taylurking #taylornation #lover #taylor swift #new years day #i forgot that you existed #thoughts #op

[stuckwith-harry]

Creator Tag Meme

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2018. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

i was kinda sorta tagged by @amesantiagos​ & of course i jumped at the opportunity because self-indulgence RULES. double self-indulgence, actually, because since i made edits AND wrote fic, i’m allowing myself to list 5 for each. shut up and let me have this, my christmas sucked. :D

fanfics

(i’m not listing one hundred ways to say i love u as one bc it’s v much in progress - i’ve only written 5 / 100 so far!)

and they’ll find you, eventually al comes out as gay, harry is a great dad, almost everyone is lgbtq+. i wrote it during pride month & harry’s lil monologue about how lgbtq+ always find each other comes straight (hahaha, straight) from my own life. because they do. they really do find you, eventually.

a particular brotherly feeling i’m proud of it because a) it’s fun and i let myself have fun with it. because it’s literally already inspired by a romcom, i gave myself permission to just roll with it and use some good ol’ tropes. (like the fact that of course harry overhears that one part of the conversation that causes angst and of course they’re interrupted just as they’re about to kiss and of course there’s a mistletoe right there. OF COURSE!) b) i wrote the whole thing in like, two weeks, most of it in a few days, actually, and i feel very accomplished. this one also has lgbtq+ characters and a coming out scene & all that jazz! huzzah! 20gayteen was strong in jessie’s fanfics!

“we’ll figure it out” in which ginny is pregnant & harry hits a bit of a low but they do a lil cry & talk & end up ok. i know nothing about parenting but that’s ok because neither do these two and that’s the whole point anyway.

“wow” jessie’s first smut! huzzah! it’s honestly more funny that it is smutty, which was my goal anyway. in which harry is just happy to be alive. and then he’s REALLY happy to be alive!

“it’s two sugars, right?” this fic features the ongoing tea discourse i have with @ronaldswheezy​, i also wrote it while i was visiting her in manchester, AND it subtly (or not so subtly) references the hollow men by t. s. eliot. because i CAN.

edits! (i’m doin 6 because i’m an indecisive fucker!)

don’t take the money hinny edit because DTTM is a god tier song & a god tier HINNY song that i will never get sick of. also because hbp is impossible to colour but i did it anyway and i didn’t just follow my urge to slap a black and white filter on everything.

ginny cos edit shit is pretty. look at these colours. damn. the end. also, hooo boy, have i thought abt ginny & the diary a lot this year.

SLEEPY HARRY !!!!!!! for no other reason than he’s cute and he needs 1000 naps.

lgbtq+ headcanons part 1 already want to remake this, but still a good, gay ol’ time.

holt on because when ur favourite tv show dies for abt 24 hours, you go & take some taylor swift lyrics from your favourite taylor swift song and make a gifset that is both SAD and a PUN. (b99 rose up from the dead it does it all the time)

ciwyw hinny edit because fuck me if call it what u want isn’t another GOD TIER HINNY SONG and i’m also happy that these two colourings sorta go together because that cos clip has some funky colours going on.

 i’m taggin everyone who sees this & feels like doin it! enjoy! happy 2018 is almost over!

#man we made some good gay things this year didn't we #splendid #amesantiagos