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imaginethebeautifulworld · 1 year

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hermann gottlieb: on lunar exploration & lying to lab partners

Newton still has... moments. Fortunately, Hermann has become something of an expert.

Drafted this at work yesterday while my students did some freewriting. Five word prompt, and this AU came to life almost instantly. 1.539 words.

"I think I hate this."

"I know this is asking for the impossible, but could you please shut up?"

"No; I definitely hate this," Newt decided, plowing ahead as if completely unaware of Hermann speaking. The latter silently seethed, once more damning Fate and his father and every other confounded thing that had led to him being stuck here with this... menace.

Hermann turned from the observation screen with a scathing remark at the ready, but felt it deteriorate immediately upon seeing the distressing state of his partner.

Newton had situated himself on the floor, picking listlessly at some loose grout along the baseboard. Hermann frowned at the motion- the grout in question had developed a disturbingly bright, violet patina; as their lab and quarters were from the original base, it was likely a few decades old already.

And Newton, their alleged “expert” on microbes and fungi, was poking his bare fingers into it.

Wonderful.

The irritation was easily dismissed however, replaced by a flicker of concern as Hermann observed the repetitive action, realizing that this wasn't Newton's usual restlessness.

The pattern was too familiar after spending so long working next to the man- the way Newton had pulled his lower lip between his teeth, the subtle way he had shoved his entire body into as small a position as possible, right arm curved protectively around the folded legs, chin was only millimeters away from resting on his knees.

Stars help him, but he had seen this far too many times before.

"Newton, have you taken-"

"I mean, I know we're not in that much danger out here, I know that, but every time someone goes out there I get so caught up worrying about what might happen to them or what might come back with them or- It's- It's stupid; I’m being stupid, but it's like I can't stop and-"

His leg would give him hell for this later, but at the moment, he couldn't care less. Hermann carefully took a seat on Newton's right, before promptly wrapping his left arm about the younger's shoulders and hauling him into something resembling an embrace.

Newton stuttered out the beginnings a protest, but it fell away just as quickly, and he relaxed slightly. With a mild sense of victory, Hermann allowed himself a small smile, thumb tracing light fractals onto Newton's upper arm, the ridges in his skin snagging slightly on the Mylar of Newton's uniform.

"I must look pretty bad right now, huh." It was an only observation, a passing rhetorical, but Hermann couldn't help but hum an assent anyway, Newton letting out a small sound of frustration.

"I should be better than this by now. Hell I- I'm on the actual Moon! How is my anxiety still this bad?"

Hermann took a moment to consider how he should answer- _if _he should answer. But at Newton's subtle behest… Well, something was expected.

He was humbled- Newton trusting that Hermann could offer him a solution, that he could read the man better than Newton himself and offer some quantifiable, justifiable conclusion which could finally set his mind at ease.

But the human mind wasn't so simple as that; he knew firsthand how damnably un-simple it was.

Before one could even be considered for being stationed at Lunar Outpost GQ-654, they were required to take part in strenuous mental and physical examinations (with some notable exemptions), and well-

While he, in his own humble opinion, did an admirable job of concealing it, Hermann's mind was also filled with- as Newton had once phrased so eloquently- a “big ol' bag of cats.”

Another smile, this one unbidden, as he recalled that evening, watching Newton fly about the lab in his excitement, rambling (only partly-coherent) about the new water samples collected by Commander Mori's team on their latest mission. Captain Beckett had been visiting and surveying with fond amusement as Newton carried on, his tirade having shifted to something minutely conversational, dragging Raleigh into a debate about- A children’s game?

Oh, it was an age ago. Hermann couldn't recall every detail, but the core sensations of the memory remained: warmth, affection, familiarity.

And familiarity- perhaps acknowledgement?- was what Newton needed most.

"I don't much care for the dark side, myself."

He felt Newton stiffen slightly; had it been too long since he'd spoken last?

No... No. the coordinates for Mako's team showed that it had only been a few moments, barely any time having passed at all since he had taken a seat on the floor.

Newton was quiet, frame still coiled with tension that was edging towards contagious, Hermann's own fears starting to-

"Somehow I always seem to forget you're just as much a mess as I am."

Hermann couldn't repress a sardonic huff of laughter at that, letting his head fall back to rest against the cold wall, eyes fluttering shut as he sang softly. "'Misery... Misery loves company.'" He paused, resumed in his normal tone, almost conversationally. "Or so they say."

Newton shifted, relaxing and stretching out his left leg, letting out a pained noise as his knee cracked. Hermann winced in sympathy; their pending approach towards middle age was agreeing with neither of them.

After a few short breaths, he could hear a tease in Newton's voice. "Never woulda pegged you for an Anthrax fan."

"I'm not," Hermann lied easily. "But when you insist on playing that incessant caterwauling at all hours-"

"Hey-"

"-is it so hard to believe I would find at least one or two things that are somewhat tolerable?"

Newton's stunned silence- no matter how brief it would likely be- was a proverbial point to Hermann. He felt his smile grow, and could practically envision the consternation eclipsing the other's face.

"Herms..."

Oh. Oh dear, no. That wasn't the correct tone.

Alarmed, Hermann straightened, eyes wide as he tried to assess the condition of his crewmate. "Newton?"

Bright, hazel eyes were angled upwards to meet his own, and there was-

Oh, bugger him to hell.

-that damned smirk.

"You just admitted you like my music."

"I admitted to no such thing. I simply suggested-"

"Lie all you want, dude. I know now," Newton elongated and deepened his words, a practiced attempt at mimicking a villain from some cheesy B-rated sci-fi film. Hermann was surprised that Newton didn't punctuate his words with a-

"Mu-wha-ha-ha-ha."

-There it was.

"You're a bloody juvenile."

"Shut up; you love it," Newton chirped, voice finally peeling in its normal register. A little humiliation on his own end perhaps, but it was worth it to see Newton bouncing- quite literally- back on his feet, bright smile in place, holding out a hand to help Hermann stand.

"In small increments, Newton. Small increments," Hermann found himself acquiescing as he took the proffered hand, wincing as he avoided placing too much weight on his right leg.

He hoped Newton hadn't-

"You good?"

-Oh of course he had noticed.

Hermann waved off Newton's concern, awkwardly ambling back towards his work station. The screen shifted to follow him, intuitively adjusting for the most convenient angle of its intended viewers. "I'll drop by Medical for more painkillers after J43-G3R is back in the docking bay."

As much as it ached, Hermann was still in charge of monitoring his Robotics' programming whenever one of the teams was out. If there were any faults or coding errors, then he needed to-

"I'll get 'em for you, dude."

Newton's voice cut off his train of thought, eyes dragging away from the observation screen. "Pardon?"

The other man offered a small shrug. "You asked me earlier about my meds, and I really did forget this morning. Figured I'll save you the wait and grab yours while I'm there."

Fondness settled like a small weight in his chest, and he internally sighed in relief. "Thank you, Newton. I would be most grateful."

Newton offered him double finger-guns as he shuffled backwards out the door. "Anytime, my guy."

Hermann started to turn back to his computer, the long lists of data that he would be sorting through come tomorrow, before he heard familiar footsteps once again.

"Hey Herms?"

Hermann didn't look away from his screen, only slightly tilting his head in Newton's direction. "Mm?"

"Thanks for earlier. I don't say it a lot, but I don't know how I'd get by without ya."

Hermann felt his entire body stutter at the spontaneous introduction of sentimentality; it was one thing to offer a loved one a physical gesture of comfort, but words-

Newton was watching him with that fond, foolish look he knew well now. Oh, it had dimmed for a time, somewhere between their first attempt at friendship and becoming begrudging research partners, but it had long since become so synonymous with all things Hermann now considered _Newton _that he couldn't help but offer a reflexive smile back.

"Get out of here, you blasted menace," he ordered, words still holding a tad too much fondness.

With a backwards shuffle and a mocking salute, Newton's expression shifted into a mischievous grin, the man almost side-swiping the doorway as he finally departed.

Hermann rolled his eyes before turning back to his work, lightly humming along to a song he most definitely wasn't a fan of.

#pacific rim #newt geiszler #newton geiszler #dr. geiszler #hermann gottlieb #dr. gottlieb #mako mori #raleigh beckett #short story #ficlet #newmann #could be read as platonic or romantic and i'm happily somewhere in the middle #au #alternate universe #lunar exploration #they are Friends! and i stand by this #my writing #speaking from experience you don't share a work space with someone who blasts music all the time without picking up a couple things you lik #my college roommate got me into edm and trap and i got her into punk rock; it balances~

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stcrforged · 1 month

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[ teasing ] a light brushing of lips against a partner's skin without fully kissing (newt to hermann)

there were many things in this world that dr. hermann gottlieb DIDN'T like. kaijus, idiot, being disturbed while working, his father were a few things he didn't like and he certainly didn't enjoy being teased by his boyfriend in intimate moments like these. it made him rather frustrated. a huff left the mathematician. " are you PLANNING on teasing me all night long? " he wanted more than this, than just a kiss and it had not even been a kiss. just newton's lips brushing against his skin. " you do really know how to get on my nerves. " and with that said, he leaned in, kissing him passionately. HUNGRILY. there was this desire inside him. it was impatient and only grew for every second that passed. more, more, more it screamed. his body burned. he wanted to be touched everywhere, he wanted to be kissed everywhere. he wanted him. " newton, please - " /@astraltouch

#‧₊˚✩ INTERACTIONS ₊˚✩ / ❝ dr. hermann gottlieb ❞#‧₊˚✩ MAIN VERSE ₊˚✩ / ❝ dr. hermann gottlieb ❞#‧₊˚✩ AND THE STARS ANSWERED ₊˚✩ / answered #astraltouch #‧₊˚✩ THROW WISHES INTO THE NIGHT AND WAIT FOR THE STARS ₊˚✩ / queue #tw suggestive

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thesundaytea · 1 year

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✨Hermann the German✨

#just a random thought that i had #hermann gottlieb #sorry Dr #pacific rim #🇩🇪

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eddies-disability-swag-blog · 1 year

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WELCOME TO THE DISABILITY SWAG SUMMIT OF 2023!

In the following weeks, our favorite disabled characters will battle to the death to see who is the one worthy of the title of “Disability Swag Champion” of this year.

Without any more preamble, here come our participants!

Part 1

1. Toph Beifong [Blind] (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

2. Edward Elric [Amputee] (Fullmetal Alchemist)

3. Frankie Stein [Amputee, Joint hyper mobility] (Monster High)

4. Hermann Gottlieb [Cane user] (Pacific Rim)

5. Eda Clawthorne [Chronic illness, Amputee] (The Owl House)

6. Hiccup and Toothless [Amputees] (How to train your dragon)

7. Neopolitan (Mute) [RWBY]

8. Pietro Polendina (Wheelchair user) [RWBY]

9. Geordi La Forge [Blind] (Star Trek)

10. Johnny Joestar [Paraplegic] (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure)

11. Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader [Amputee, Respiratory ailments] (Star Wars)

12. Principal Bump [Partial blindness] (The Owl House)

13. Terezi Pyrope [Blind] (Homestuck)

14. Matt Murdock/Daredevil [Blind] (Marvel)

15. Vash the Stampede [Amputee] (Trigun)

16. Brightheart [One-eyed] (Warriors)

17. Barbara Gordon/Oracle [Wheelchair user] (Batman)

18. Kitty Softpaws [Declawed] (Puss in Boots)

19. Teo [Wheelchair user] (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

20. Izumi Curtis [Chronic illness] (Fullmetal Alchemist)

21. Hearthstone [Deaf] (Magnus Chase)

22. Jayfeather [Blind] (Warriors)

Part 2

1. Gordon Freeman [Amputee] (HLVRAI)

2. Handy [Amputee] (Happy Tree Friends)

3. Luca [Wheelchair user] (Monica’s Gang)

4. Kaz Brekker [Cane user] (Six of Crows)

5. Vriska Serket [Amputee, One-eyed] (Homestuck)

6. Dr. Gregory House [Chronic pain, Cane user] (House MD)

7. Future Leonardo [Amputee] (Rise of the TMNT)

8. Melanie King [Blind] (The Magnus Archives)

9. Hawkeye [Deaf] (Marvel)

10. Tavros Nitram [Wheelchair user] (Homestuck)

11. Donatello [Soft shell] (Rise of the TMNT)

12. Zuko [Burn scar, Visual impairment] (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

13. Finn the Human [Amputee] (Adventure time)

14. Ashton Greymoore [Chronic pain, Visual impairment, others] (Critical Role)

15. Mole [Blind] (Happy Tree Friends)

16. Ricky Potts [Mute, Crutch user] (Ride the Cyclone)

17. Scootaloo [Underdeveloped wings] (MLP: FIM)

18. Victor [Chronic illness, Mobility aid user] (League of Legends/Arcane]

19. Amaya [Deaf] (The Dragon Prince)

20. Briarlight [Paralyzed] (Warriors)

21. Charles Xavier/Professor X [Wheelchair user] (X-Men)

22. Elina [Wingless] (Barbie: Fairytopia)

If I got something wrong (it is your fault, you are the ones who gave me this info/hj) feel free to correct me!

Also, excuse my ugly brackets, they were really painful to make and the template thingies didn’t work properly.

#disability swag summit #disability pride #swag competition #swag summit #bracket #competition #disability #disabled #tumblr polls #main thread

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oto999 · 8 months

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world-renowned kaiju scientist and lame dork Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, whomst i'm having normal feelings towards

#my dear wife #i keep him in a little heart locket #pacrim #hermann gottlieb #pacrim fanart #pacific rim #pacific rim fanart

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annamaetion · 2 months

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I just keep thinking about how much I want Newton to have acquired a masseuse license sometime during his biology PhD— making a weak justification of ‘hands on information muscle interaction’, perhaps cracking jokes about it being good for meeting ~the ladies~.

When really, his longtime pen-pal Dr. Hermann Gottlieb just recently disclosed to him that he has terrible leg cramps in his right leg, and absolutely abhors asking physicians for help with it because it involves people he barely knows ~touching him~.

So it can’t hurt to pick up another skill…just in case.

#hermann gottlieb #newton geiszler #newtmann #newmann #pacific rim

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foxglovecove · 12 days

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Non-Regulation Lab Uniform

Late one night, one might argue early in the morning, Newt shoots out of bed with an idea. It’s dark in his small bunk and in his half-awake daze he grabs whatever clothes and shoes are closest. From his small fridge he grabs the liquid of the gods in the form of, he hopes, an energy beverage.

He takes a sip as he shuffles down the dark corridors. Yup definitely energy bevvy. Cherry, aka the best flavor.

He makes his way to the lab he shares with his arch-nemesis (and crush) Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, who is most certainly asleep like any reasonable resident of the Hong Kong Shatterdome at 3am.

Grabbing a stack of papers he’d been scribbling on all week, he throws them on the ground and proceeds to stare for the next hour, working and reworking his hypothesis.

For approximately 45 minutes of that hour he has a secret audience. Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, who has himself occupied this space since 2am, watches in awe. In horror. No definitely in awe.

He hasn’t seen this particular combo of garments since the Halloween Party last October when the madman combined it with a knock off costume version of the OG kaiju Trespasser.

He should not be staring.

He looks away.

It’s ok to be staring he’s not being rude, just looking. Newton wouldn’t be wearing that ridiculously scandalous outfit if he cared.

He tips his chair back just a little to get a better look. A little bit more. Just a little bit more.

Oh shit, there’s the floor.

And there’s Newton staring in shock at the sprawled out form of Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, mathematician, arch nemesis. Crush.

#silly things #sexy trespasser newt strikes again #newton geiszler #hermann gottlieb #my art #pacific rim #this probably happened more often than they care to admit

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kaijubonemoisturizer · 9 months

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Have I ever posted about my strong belief that Hermann is the only one who calls Newt Newton. People either call him Newt or Dr Geiszler! But Hermann calls him Newton even as he tells Newt to call him Dr Gottlieb in public. Do you think someone can lose calls Newt Newton and he feels all sorts of emotions.

#newt #newton geiszler #hermann gottlieb #newmann #pacrim #pacific rim #wetbone posts

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jtownraindancer · 7 months

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top 5 burn characters go

Good gods Anon this is evil. Only five!??? 😭💕

I spent like three days trying to make up my mind on this, and I'm still not satisfied, but as of the moment, in no particular order:

The Best Boys

Mr. William Guppy of Kenge & Carboy, Bleak House

He's awkward, he's manipulative, he has no real social skills to speak of, and he's in love. I actually really disliked this character when I first read the book circa 2011, but as Burn seems wont to do, I ended up being completely won over in the end. ^_^; His Guppy is expressive, less a comic relief and almost sympathetic. I mentioned in a conversation with @synthapostate about how Guppy is technically an antagonist, but he's played in such a way that you really can't see it (unlike the book). Also the camera is half in love with Burn this entire series, and it makes it very, very easy to fall in love with this dorky, curly-haired puppy of a man.

Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, Pacific Rim & Pacific Rim: Uprising

I could write sonnets about Hermann for how much I've come to love him. 😅 He's one of the Characters of All Time for me. From his passion, his stubborn resilience, and his sharp humor, to his unwavering loyalty for those he cares for and his ability to care so deeply, how could I not irrevocably fall for him? (Also singlehandedly the cause of the 2023 Burn Binge.) Hermann found his way into my heart from the very beginning, but I never realized how at home he had made himself until the day I turned around and he was patiently waiting for me to see him. I think I fell for him and Newt in the same fell swoop, and my love for both of them is unwavering.

Dr. Owen Harper, Torchwood

I've been in love with this bastard since 2013; I've been repressing that adoration for 10 years. I- I don't really remember the exact moment that my opinion of Owen shifted from extreme dislike to him carving a permanent place in my very being, but there it is. He's sarcastic, an incorrigible flirt, and has one of the biggest, kindest hearts I've ever come across in fiction. At the time, I was pre-Med, and I aspired to be half as compassionate a doctor as him. After Exit Wounds, I gave up Torchwood (I couldn't, not with Tosh gone too.), but I've slowly been dipping my toes back in via Burn's reading of some of the books & the Big Finish audios. It's been 10 years, yet I think I'm more in love with this bastard than I ever was before. (And okay, I admit, he might be my favorite-favorite ^_^;)

Sgt. Detective William Blore, And Then There Were None

Bill, Bill, Bill... He's a crooked cop, he's tired of everyone's nonsense, he's filled with regret, he's probably gay. Detective Blore is yet another classic lit character that I first met back in the late 20-aughts, early 2010s who I really didn't care for. Then 2023 rolls around, and not only did I come to love him in this adaptation, but I've ended up going on an Agatha Christie bender because of it. Burn made me... well love would be too strong a word, but I definitely rank Blore as "a poor little meow meow."

Major Edmund Hewlett, TURN

How could this list be at all complete without including my beloved major? (Just picking a gif for this made me realise how badly I've missed him. 🥺) Edmund is... How do I explain how much I adore this guy? How do I possibly pin down the levels of pride I have in his journey, in his growth, explain the way my heart aches at the twists and turns that will tear him apart and build him back even stronger? How do I possibly do justice in conveying how damn aspirational he is, how merciful, how delightful? I can't, really. He's a force of nature that one must experience for themselves. (And I need to resume my rewatch methinks~)

Runner-Ups

(or the characters who have been spinning in my brain nonstop like rotisserie chickens and absolutely deserve mention)

Ben Jarvis, Cheat

I... I have entire essays I want to write about this guy. I have theories I want to discuss, but as most of them are... I can't. Yet. Maybe soon? I- Anyway. Ben was a huge surprise, and definitely nowhere close to what I was expecting when I finally got around to watching this show. I would be lying to say it wasn't a pleasant surprise, and I absolutely love how Burn was able to do a lot of solo work this series, with a lot of focus on body language and his uncanny knack for killer expressions.

Jacko Argyle, Ordeal By Innocence

This... This beautiful little shit ♡ One of the first Burn movies I actively chose to seek out, my second in his Agatha Christie adaptations, and my first dive into gif making. And Jacko-! Oh, Jacko... You stole my heart then broke it in only a few, few precious moments of screentime and backstory. He haunts the entire film, he haunts me still, and I'm so glad I had the chance to meet him.

Martin, Up There

(Oh look yet another one of my gifs 😅)

Martin is absolutely one of my favourite characters, especially for his absolute growth during the film. He crawls out of his downward spiral, he finds himself again, and ultimately discovers that there can be life after death. He just- He's grumpy, he's beautifully sarcastic, he's depressed, he's loved, and he just- Seriously I love him. Martin feels like a friend who I haven't seen in an age, and it's always a good day to bump into him again.

Reverend Benedict Marley, Lark Rise to Candleford

I almost forgot my favourite clergyman??? D:

Benedict Marley came into my life just to shake my very foundations, send me on an existential journey of self discovery, and waited for me at the end of it all with a soft smile and encouraging words. He only had one episode in the show, but his story was so easily woven and understood, his humility humbled me, and in ways that make me almost afraid to admit aloud- I felt seen in a way that I ever so rarely am. I connected to him; I understand him. He has depths that I could hardly explain in a single paragraph, but I can say that- out of all these characters- my feelings are birthed more out of a very deep respect and admiration.

I can't say this list will stay the same- I'm far from through with Burn's portfolio- but for his on-screen roles, these guys firmly remain top-tier for me. :)

(If you'd like to hear about his voice work instead, please let me know; I could go on for Hours about some of those lads. ♡)

Thanks for the ask Anon, and if you haven't seen any of these yet, I definitely recommend them!

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krakenandcracker · 1 year

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shut it herms

lets just chill. Okay?

smoke break, night fanart, made by me

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gothszler · 1 year

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i’m of the belief that Newt Geiszler spent a good fifteen odd years wondering (both fondly and furiously) HOW Dr. Hermann Gottlieb is the way that he is…. until he spends one holiday in the gottlieb farmhouse. that man has three siblings all raised to be their own flavor of repressed genius and just happened to be the best of them. newt plays one round of croquet with East Bavaria’s Most Precocious Children and leaves thinking it’s a miracle hermann is only THAT neurotic

#t #newmann #pacrim #gottlieb siblings tag

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imaginethebeautifulworld · 1 year

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newt geiszler: voices

Newt accidentally picked up a little something extra during his first brush with a Kaiju brain. But he's fine. It's fine. Everything's fine. (It's not.)

Finally got around to watching Pacific Rim: Uprising, and I spiraled. My attempt at giving Newt a more satisfying "ending." 4.326 words @_@

The Anteverse was a different kind of Darkness.

The air was toxic, polluted with the ashes of those who had come before, those who They conquered. Consumed.

He was running.

Every step was a deathtrap; the ground below him was hardly stable, every move sent up another small cloud of dust. There was a constant, distant thrumming, shuddering through his skull.

They were Furious.

They were Seeking.

They were Coming.

Where the fuck was he supposed to run- where could he hide- when They were Watching? When They Saw everything?

The Breach was closed and he was stuck here with Them; there was no escape, no way out.

He was trapped.

He kept running.

“I hate you,” had been the last words he had heard. “I hate you,” in a tone so terrified, so-

He kept running, ignoring the way each patch of exposed skin burned, how the lacerations all over his fingers felt like they were boiling.

He slipped down a small hill, nearly falling on his face, and he kept running. Praying to the Unforgiving Universe to send him some sort of release.

“I hate you,” his mind repeated, and he tried not to think about how he had brought this on himself.

His chest was killing him, a stabbing pain in his hip sending him off-kilter even as he kept going, kept fighting, kept running.

Past the carcasses of the experiments They had abandoned.

Past the crevices spewing acidic, gaseous compounds that left his nose bloody.

There had to be somewhere he could go. Somewhere he could rest, somewhere he could hide.

A cold chill, the sensation of a thousand eyes all looking his way froze him to the core.

It was too late; They had Found him.

They were Coming, and he needed-

He needed-

No-

“No!”

Newt clawed his way back to consciousness, a scream on his lips and his chest heaving with exertion.

For a moment, he could do nothing but stare uncomprehendingly at the faint yellow glow on his walls, before Reality was crashing in and he dug his fists into his sockets, heaving a very, very, very exhausted breath.

Another fucking nightmare.

And the dreams tonight had actually started out… kind of peaceful, for once.

He had been years younger, visiting a tea garden with the Pentecost kiddos, Mako rambling excitedly as she told her baby brother all about the koi swimming in the pond under them.

But then- of fucking course- that damned Blue.

It started slow, a tiny splash of ink somewhere just out of frame. But then it started to seep, saturating the edges, and before he knew it, it was everywhere-

-Everywhere, and he was drowning in a sea of electric blue, choking on the ash of a noxious atmosphere, and he was being ripped apart and They were-

“Dude. You gotta breathe,” he chided himself.

Running his hands through his hair, he focused his thoughts on his immediate surroundings- the pink lava lamp from Mako, the weird South African succulent from Jin, the abandoned diary he had been trying to finish since 2020.

He counted his breaths, allowed the familiar surroundings to ground him, the continuous movement of fingers against scalp physically removing him from the roller coaster of recollection- some moments his, some ghosts from Hermann’s past, and others-

The others came from a world he never wanted to think about again.

But the images were seared into his retinas, forever burned into his mind; his own memories and Their memories, superimposed over one another, an imperfect layering that hurt to look at too long, hurt to think about too long, hurt to-

"I hate you."

His mind caught hold once more of the mantra that had threaded itself through the latest sequence of bad dreams, another attempt by those fucking Things to try and distort all his original memories.

Hermann had been furious. Horrified. Heartbroken. And Newt-

“No; that would never happen.”

Sure, Hermann had definitely said the words before, and there had been a few moments when he had made that exact look, but it had never been-

"I hate you."

-so broken.

No… No, he remembered.

Hermann had been trying not to laugh and failing miserably, his eyes crinkled at the edges, a slight twist curling his lips. Newt had been soaring, knowing he had gotten the man to crack, even if it was over something stupid and kind of embarrassing.

He remembered thinking how beautiful Herms looked when he was joking around, how much younger and carefree the man seemed when he finally let those walls come down.

Hell, Newt could still hear the orchestral trap playing from his desktop, could still smell the formaldehyde, could still taste the cinnamon from his chai.

That was the memory.

He knew it in his bones.

There was no way Herms could ever hate-

"Good day, Dr. Geiszler."

-oh.

The failed first meeting.

The aborted correspondence.

The weeks he spent silently mourning a relationship that hadn’t actually happened.

Hermann had taken one look at him- had spent barely five minutes with him- before they were both fighting, both saying- shouting- things that they would regret later.

Well… Newt did at least.

He still couldn't say for sure what was going on in Hermann’s head half the time.

Those memories- the late nights wanting to hit “Send” on an email that would likely never get read, the sleepless mornings when he almost burned every letter and postcard and stupid sticker, the rainy evenings when he curled up with the same tea Herm had once recommended for migraines- they were tinted in their own distinct shade of blue, tinged in melancholia.

And now they were mutating into a very, very familiar shade that was permeating fucking everything these days.

"Okay, so maybe he hated me at some point. But that was in the past; things are different now!"

Are they?

Newt shuddered as that Voice made its appearance, a presence that had been lingering since his first Drift, one that he had thought was just fear at the time, just an after-image. But it had clawed through his mind, settled deep in his subconscious.

He could feel his memories shifting, and at first- at first- he thought it was just a fluke. Everyone misremembers things from their childhood; everyone forgets little things along the way.

But he knew Mutti never really hated him. That Dad hadn’t been looking for any excuse to get rid of him. That Onkel Illia definitely didn’t-

-didn’t-

-did he?

Blame it on the late night or his likely endless dossier of undiagnosed disorders, but now he wasn’t sure of… anything, really.

Another tremor tore through him, and he felt the floor rise to meet him- when had he even stood up?- his knees slamming into the thin carpet with a painful thud.

Gravity had finally failed him. Or his body had. Or-

Ugh, whatever.

Wasn’t really that important, not when-

Not when-

Not when that fucking Blue-

Every memory he tried to cling to, each brighter and bolder and more vibrant than the last, was shifting right in front of him, taking on a distorted refraction until it was hard to tell where Their influence ended and Reality began.

It was like trying to focus through a broken lens; once there was even the smallest fissure, everything went to shit. It was too hard to focus; the images, the memories-

Too chaotic.

Too fractured.

Too much.

The worst part was knowing that They didn't even have to work too hard on corrupting some of those memories, his anxieties already offering more than enough wiggle room for Their ambitions.

Which he was still piecing together- an investigation started the very moment five weeks ago when he realized those weren’t his normal intrusive thoughts- but he was pretty sure he had it figured out.

"Lemme guess- Total surrender, right? Total submission?"

Gaia help him if anyone walked in on him right now. Would make a hell of an impression, one the guys who saved the world curled up on the floor, lights off, desperately gasping for air, and seemingly arguing with himself. He could feel another nosebleed too; that would only add to the appeal.

Yes, but We want You to beg for it.

Okay, that was worth some semi-hysterical laughter that definitely wasn’t teetering a little too closely towards being a broken sob.

"Yeah,” he finally managed, elongating the word. “That’s not gonna happen."

Give it time. You're already at the Brink.

He refused to believe that. Well, tried to anyway. It wasn't exactly like he could always trust what was in his own head, even before the fucking-

"I hate you," he ground out, repeatedly the very words still scrambling around his consciousness like the family of fruit flies he had accidentally-on-purpose released back in his AP Bio class an eternity ago.

The Voice hummed in amusement.

To hate Us is to hate Yourself.

Oh fuck off.

"You're not Me."

Schematics. We will be.

There was a silence, a prolonged one, and for a moment he let himself hope that he was temporarily alone in his own head again, praying that he could finally relax, even if- yeah, ok- that final bit had been way more foreboding than he would like.

He refused to think about how much more active that Voice had been lately, how much louder it had become, how coherent and coercive it was. A steady presence these days, one he couldn't even shake when he was trying to sleep.

And that? That crushed the modicum of hope, all too certain They were still there.

"Get out of my head."

He wasn't sure if that was a plea or a command at this point.

He was just so damn tired of it all.

He wasn't sure what They wanted.

He knew exactly what They wanted.

"It's never going to happen; just quit while You're ahead."

So self-assured, and yet so close to giving up.

The Voice almost sounded like it was pitying him.

He scowled, but was soon distracted in trying to repress a shiver as Something shifted, could swear he felt the phantom sensation of touch against his temples, the ghost of a connection he hadn't stopped having nightmares about.

The Voice returned, quiet, still pitying.

Why keep fighting? None of Them have seen Your struggle. Have any of Them even tried to reach out to check on You? Has He-

"Leave him out of this," he interrupted, words coming out as a low growl.

The Voice sounded delighted by it.

You know He doesn't care about You.

Images again, false memories, woven just enough with the Truth, and it was an unforgiving reel layering itself, a cacophony of anger and bitterness and longing for the impossible that would never- could never- be.

And in the center of it all was-

"No. Just… Just stop."

He was exhausted, but the assault was relentless.

We'll take care of You. We'll reward You in ways You can't even begin to imagine.

He let out a humourless, shaking laugh. “Changing tactics, huh? That’s no fair you know, using his voice."

How else can We get You to listen?

Well, They had a point. Even if it was just plain, fucking cruel.

We could make You happy, Newton. All You have to do is let Us take control.

Blame it once more on his fatigue, on his inability to fire on all cylinders- three sleepless nights straight because of insomnia, questionably labeled energy drinks, and an alien brain parasite will do that to ya- but he only partially registered his body moving, scarcely was involved in the elegant shuffling from his room towards the mostly packed-up lab, barely coherent as he approached the last remaining piece of Kaiju, still safely stored in a pressure controlled tank.

He could have easily convinced himself it was just another dream, the motions practically automatic. He wasn’t actually booting up the computer, wasn’t pulling out the MacGyvered monstrosity he had thrown together with scraps, wasn’t connecting the PONS unit to the tank, wasn’t adjusting the headse-

Headset…

Headset?

Headset!

In the span of microseconds, Newt finally regained control and practically teleported into the other half of the room, panting from exertion and panic and unable to do anything but helplessly stare at the tissue sample in horror, entire body shaking.

He didn’t know what had brought him here, what had made him connect the interface, what had possessed him to put on the headset, what-

The what- or more the who- didn't really matter in this equation.

What mattered was that he was back in control.

What mattered was that he had ever been out of control.

What mattered was that the remaining sample of what was supposed to be a dead chunk of Kaiju brain seemed to be reaching for him.

And there was a terrible, alarming, overwhelmingly excited part that wanted to reach back.

For the first time since all of this had started, he was terrified.

"N- No, no, no, I don’t, I don’t- I don't want this!"

His voice echoed through the empty room, loud and piercing in the deadly quiet night.

Hush, Newton. Do You intend on waking the whole base?

That Voice again, mocking him, digging in somewhere under his skin, clawing through his head.

He had to fight this.

Clearly self-observation hadn’t been cutting it, and somewhere along the way it had spiraled so far beyond his control that he wondered how much else had already gone wrong, what other damage They had already done without him knowing. But even if he wanted to fight, there was no way he could do it alone.

He needed-

He needed help.

"I'm not going to do it."

You will.

The brusque dismissal awakened something.

Somewhere, deep, deep inside, there was still a spark of his old spirit.

A flash of the proud, cocky, and downright stubborn rebellion that got him through years of bullying, years of naysayers, years of collecting accolades and degrees almost out of spite and the sheer knowledge that he could. It was only a flash, but it was enough for him to feel control slip back into his fingers properly, for the first time in a long time.

"No."

Really, It was Their own fault for choosing to imitate Hermann's voice; the math wizard always had a knack for bringing out Newt's chutzpah.

For a moment, for one sweet, blessed moment, he was alone in his own mind again, in full control.

For a brief, brief second, he started to think he had finally reclaimed his autonomy.

But it didn't last long.

Nothing good ever does, in his experience.

If You do not cooperate, Dr. Gottlieb certainly will.

Newt felt his chest constrict, the sensation of the world falling out from under him.

Or maybe that was just him falling against the desk.

"What?"

Stupid boy. You don't really think You’re the one We want, do You?

His world had grown smaller, pinpricks of Darkness greedily digging in, and that spark of resistance- that fragile moment of hope- was completely snuffed out.

His mind was reeling, trying desperately to figure out how to get out of this, how to-

"Why."

In the end, he was still a Child of Science, and Science always demanded answers to the Unknown. And maybe?

Maybe he could figure something out. Some sort of plan, some way to-

Why?

"Yeah you heard me. Why in the hell-"

His words cut off, the questions he had all too incomprehensible to be spoken aloud. Luckily- ha.- he didn't need to say anything for Them to know.

Your obsession was simply- Oh, how to put this? - simply pitiful. Your mind, already so fascinated, made it all too easy for Us to slip inside, settling in where there was already respect and admiration. We’ve been here since the first time You dared to seek Us out. And Dr. Gottlieb-

"No,” Newt was barely aware of his voice cracking, defeat and guilt and a thousand other emotions he couldn’t begin to recognize crushing him beneath their weight. The truth was starting to finally show itself, and it was bringing a whole new level to Newt’s on-again off-again sense of self-loathing.

“No, Hermann… Hermann offered to come! He-”

He offered. You wanted to stop Him. We didn’t let You.

And it was true, he realized now. Now that They were letting him remember.

He had known the risks, knew it would likely kill him to Drift again. It was why he was in such a rush, trying to avoid listening to Herms, trying desperately to ignore logic and reason, knowing if he stopped for a second, if he let himself think-

And Hermann- Dammit, Hermann!- had offered to share the burden, had wanted to protect him. And Newt wanted to argue- It could kill them both! A neutralized tissue sample was one thing, but Drifting with a brain still tethered to the Hivemind was glorified suicide. Even with two-!

But everything had gone kind of… sideways… before he could try to convey any of it, the whole world sorta hazy and distant.

When he thought about it later, after the partying and celebrating and several long overdue movie nights, he had chalked it up to the non-stop roller coaster of adrenaline and terror and general chaos of the last few hours as he agreed, now realizing-

You led Us right to Him.

-Newt had damned him. Damned them both.

Sharp enough to learn Our plans, factoring in each attack and predicting Our final strike to a near perfect instant. The same mind behind the very machines used to stand against Us? A god of His own design, and so desperate to protect You. His desperation, His pride, His affections for You- All too easy to pull Him under.

He had to warn him. He had to-

It’s too late, Newton. A single push, and He would crumble. Surely even fractured, His mind will still be as beautiful as it is whole.

He brought this on them.

It was all his fau-

No. Stop that.

Somehow, Newt managed to kick himself out of the self-destructive spiral just long enough to think. If They took Hermann-

Hermann, in spite of his jaded views of the literary arts, waxed poetic constantly about how numbers were the language of the stars, how everything came down to simple- “Sure, Herms. ‘Simple,’ my ass.”- mathematics, every minute shift and atomic change and Brobdingnagian fluctuation quantifiable, calculable, and predictable.

And the damned Parasites were right; of course They were.

Hermann had created the Jaegers. A lot of people didn’t really remember that it was his coding woven into their very foundations, didn’t realize the stuffy scientist with grandpa fashion sense was a literal badass. And Herms-

Herms knew the Breach, discovered, hypothesized, and proved the existing, recurring sequences behind every attack, ran the numbers so often that Newt saw the equations in his sleep. And Hermann was-

No.

Newt tried not to visualize the kind of enemy Hermann could make if They took control, tried not to imagine how dangerous that beautiful, baffling brain could be if pit against Humanity.

There was no universe, not a single reality, where Newt would ever let that happen.

Not if there was any chance he could stop it.

And somewhere, somewhere deep and forgotten, the embers of hope were reigniting, the spark never fully extinguished after all.

Hermann was clever, and stupidly, stubbornly, stupendously determined.

If Newt could keep Herm’s mind intact, could somehow find a way to drop enough hints that “Dr. Geiszler” wasn’t quite himself…

Herm could figure it out. Newt knew he would.

He also knew it would literally be a nightmare trying to keep it together long enough for anyone to realize that something was off. Fighting Something in his own head would-

There was no guarantee any of it would work, even if he fought against Them every step of the way.

But it didn’t matter. He-

He had to protect Hermann.

If he could protect Hermann, he could protect everyone else, too.

"If I do this, I need you to swear you'll leave him alone."

What could possibly make that worth Our while?

He couldn’t hide the anger even if he wanted. “You’re in my head; You tell me.”

For a moment, The Precursors were silent, calculating, strategizing, considering.

There are things You don’t know which We need.

"I could learn."

And he could. He would. If it meant saving-

Hell, for Herms? He’d force his way through 10 more doctorates if he had to.

Is this a surrender, Dr. Geiszler?

...Oh.

Oh shit; there it was.

The surrender he was willing to beg for, the submission They had been waiting for. He knew he was playing right into Their hands- or tentacles, maybe?- but it wasn’t like there was any other choice.

"You can’t believe that, you ridiculous man! You know there’s always another way."

Perhaps a last defense, a final hope, but his mind began screaming at him in frustration, the final spark of resistance layered among fear and desperation. Kind of funny, in that ironic sort of way, that his inner voice sounded even more Hermann-esque than the one the Precursors had adopted.

But there was no choice.

He knew he could stall Them, long enough that Hermann-

"Yes! Yes, let me help you, Newton!”

His mind raged again, but Newt just laughed it off.

He couldn't help picturing a mini-Hermann arguing against his recklessness, against what he knew himself to be... stupid, really.

Pity it wasn't the real deal standing here with him, making that adorable scowly face as he tried to convince Newt to reconsider.

Were Hermann here, Newt might actually believe he had a chance of surviving this.

His mind had resorted to mostly incomprehensible shouting, and he could see the miniature version of his Drift partner kicking over a trash can in its frustration. There were still some stray pieces Newt could pick up, pleas for him to stop and think for a moment, but really what difference would it make?

Hermann was more essential, and Newt was-

"I swear if you even dare consider self-deprecating I will-"

-Newt was just Newt.

And with worldwide destruction a certain alternative, there really was no choice.

"Okay. I’ll- God-fucking-dammit- I’ll do it, you assholes."

Good boy, Newton. Very good.

That mini-Hermann in the back of his mind had resorted to unholy cursing in a dialect Newt wasn’t sure he even knew, and he had to force down a wave of disgust with himself. His own autonomy, his own sense of self-

But there was a sense of calm, too.

He was saving Hermann, and maybe- Maybe somehow Hermann could someday save him, too.

He barely processed his shuffle back across the lab, letting his thoughts numb as he adjusted the headset, carefully secured the chin strap. Through the fog, Newt took another glance around the lab, half-hoping that someone would wander in, that somehow-?

But there was no one else.

No deus ex machina.

Just Newt and his brain full of genocidal, fascist aliens.

What a sick cosmic joke.

And cruelest of all, he couldn’t think of a single, clever thing to say, all the little witticisms he hoped to have on hand for “The End” completely abandoning him. Like trying to remember your favorite movie on comm-

“Ogata! It worked!”

It was a passing, unbidden memory of the eye-patch wearing scientist who first got him hooked on giant monsters, drifting from his subconscious, a badass in all the ways Newt had once only dreamed of.

Hell, if things were different, maybe he would have started wearing an eyepatch. Serizawa rocked it, and it would have made Mako laugh.

Oh, Mako-

His chest ached at the thought of her, his not-really-but-yes-really adopted little sister. And Jake, who he still considered a younger brother. And Herc and Tendo and Alison and-

Dad.

Fuck; he may never get to talk to Dad again. Or-

Uncle Illia.

Or Mom. Or-

Or Hermann.

And just when they were starting to get along again.

“It’s not too late, Newton.”

He shook at the very clear, distinct thought, still wrapped in all the soft warmth and concern that was pure Hermann. So bright, so vibrant, so clear, it was as if the man were standing right here.

“You know me, Herms… It was too late the second that Breach opened.”

The Precursors were getting restless, an involuntary, full body twitch ripping through him.

“Okay! Holy heck, can’t a guy have some last words?”

No response.

Figures.

They were getting what They wanted; why bother acknowledging him now?

“Sorry I won’t have a chance to say goodbye. And uh… Kinda have a feeling I’m gonna miss a few birthdays, so uh… Yeah. Sorry, for that. I hope y’all…”

He sighed to himself, a frustrated little sound through his nostrils, eyes narrowing in annoyance, thoughts turning inward.

“You know what? Fuck this. I hope they figure it out and wreck Your shit. I hope they ruin everything; I hope they live and thrive in spite of You. I want them to find happiness no matter what You try to throw at them. And they will. Because they’re braver and stronger than You coul- Dammit!”

A sharp, blazing blue pain, just behind his left eye, a sensation that was all-too familiar now, one that he knew was a precursor- heh- to something even worse.

He wasn’t fully in control of his own body anymore, knew he had only seconds left, the Precursors already making his thumb move against his will, but he wasn’t gonna go quietly into that good night; screw that!

Filling his words with every ounce of spite and rebellion and pure human fury he could, he growled out what would- probably- be his last act of rebellion.

“Go fuck Yourselves.”

With the sharp push of a button, Newt Geiszler was gone.

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