#edited out dialogue to avoid spoilers but also because... lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thegeminisage · 3 years

Note

may i ask: what does "talking heads" mean in ur spreadsheet??

(re: this post) yes!!! it actually should say NO talking heads bc that’s what i’m trying to avoid but w/e. ok so you know how some people are guilty of never ending a sentence, and some people have the bad habit of using emdashes constantly? my vice is “talking heads” - basically that sometimes i’ll tend to overfocus on dialogue to the point of ignoring other things like internal narration, actions, descriptions, etc. i tend to overuse dialogue anyway - i feel like about half my conversations in general could stand to be 30% shorter, but i greatly dislike cutting stuff because i can never decide what stays and what goes (have i mentioned i don’t like editing? lol)

that being said, i don’t like to write (or read!) stuff that’s ALL DIALOGUE, so i like to make sure, especially in scenes that are just one long conversation, that i have enough narrative/descriptive/action stuff going on so you don’t feel like you’re reading a script. (for example the last broken road scene i did is 3k, and the entire thing is a long talk sam and dean have about first michael and then john. it’s technically two conversations because of the subject change in the middle, but that’s still a long fucking bit with no break, which is why i haven’t checked off the “checked for talking heads” box and also why it has an R beside it - it needs a lot of help, i feel like it would be exhausting to read.)

i’m posting writing excerpts under a cut so this post doesn’t get any longer, but if that’s a bad explanation (likely) this will show you what i mean:

"What in the...?" Dad breathes. "Dean? Sam?"

Dean trades a look with Sam. "Yes sir," he says. "It's us. Really us. Is that—" His voice fails him, momentarily. "Is that really you?"

"It's me,” Dad says. “But how did I get here? Last thing I remember...Yellow Eyes. We finally got the son of a bitch. And then I..."

"I think—I think we summoned you?" Sam says, but it comes out more like a question, because seriously, what the hell.

"Summoned me," Dad repeats, blankly. Then thunderclouds darken his face. "Do you mean to say you boys made a deal?"

^ that’s, like, fine? there’s a little stuff in there that isn’t dialogue. but where are they? what are they doing? standing up, sitting down? how do they Feel? it’s very bare. i can’t see it very well in my head, i’m having to add all the details myself, it’s really just: Talking Heads. i didn’t have a good spoiler-free example handy, so i grabbed this section from the first chapter of broken and deliberately stripped it down to use as my example, but this is how my first drafts will turn out if i’m not paying attention. meanwhile this is what this section ACTUALLY looks like:

"What in the...?" Dad breathes, eyes darting back and forth between them. "Dean? Sam?"

Dean trades a look with Sam, gratified to see that Sam looks just as spooked as Dean feels. Slowly, they get to their feet, dislodging fallen books and shelf ornaments. Some of them got busted; there's a cut on Dean's cheek and broken glass shards in his hair. He swallows, trying to ignore Michael pounding in his head. He keeps his cool. "Yes sir," he says. "It's us. Really us. Is that—" His voice fails him, momentarily. He's still a little winded from the fight. "Is that really you?"

Dean's actually not sure what he wants the answer to be. Apparently the Baozhu is, though, because Dad says, "It's me. But how did I get here? Last thing I remember..." His face hardens. "Yellow Eyes. We finally got the son of a bitch. And then I..." He trails off, frowning.

"I think—I think we summoned you?" Sam says, but it comes out more like a question, because seriously, what the hell. Dean was supposed to be wishing for a version of Michael he could stab in the face, not John Winchester rising from the grave. This isn't just a let-down on the Michael front; this is embarrassing.

"Summoned me," Dad repeats, blankly. Then thunderclouds darken his face. "Do you mean to say you boys made a deal?" For some reason, he levels his stare at Dean.

now we see the busted bookshelves, the cut on dean’s face, the post-fight windedness, michael in dean’s head. and it’s not just dean stuff, we even see that sam is spooked, that dad is wary and angry. so it’s just balancing out the dialogue with other stuff

fun extra tidbit: i once read a deancas fic about their first get-together and literally for every 1-2 lines of dialogue this author would add about 5-6 paragraphs of internal narration explaining how they felt and what their reactions were. in the MIDDLE of their first kiss they were doing this. i thought at first it was an rp log but it was just their writing style. love and light, fanfic is a subjective artform, but holy bananas that drove me crazy. so it is very possible to go overboard in the other direction lol

[fic advice masterpost]

#liz answers asks #deanwinchestergender #liz loves writing #broken road #rough drafts

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halfusek · 4 years

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1) I have a theory regarding what happens in Abomination. As you had explained, both timelines, both in Real World and Story World were connected until the break in Story World occurs with the death of S!Thomas, but there are some details that I consider important to understand the reason why Magenta did that. You mentioned that that death altered what was going to happen in the future in Story World, what if it happened... But what if S!Joey did it on purpose to avoid the same fate as

Hey ho hello there! Thank you for submitting this theory, it definitely isn’t a nuisance to me, I absolutely love it when people dive so deep into my story and have so many thoughts about it, I’m flattered! :D

And while it’s an interesting theory, I’ll tell you right off the bat that Magenta doesn’t really have that kind of insight to the reader’s mind nor mine. The 4th wall breaks indeed are supposed to be meta but it also was kind of a jab at the real Joey in that moment from him. There is no input from me as a “character” in the story, as Abomination was supposed to be a theory turned into a comic all along I’m only including there events which I have thought to be possible to be canon [with exceptions for a few “OCs” I had to make - random employees to fullfill other roles].

But there is of course a reason why story Joey is aware of, well, being in a story as there is a reason for him to act different than the real Joey! :D

Characters from the real world being now in the story world are more exaggerated, more “cartoony” as in the values that pop out most about them in reality, pop out here to the max. As for the story itself, their reality consist only of things relevant to the story. And finally, there’s this whole thing with the objectives these characters have and how they interpret them.

In a sense they are different characters. Especially those that haven’t died in real life.

But at the same time they are kind of the same person. Especially those that died in real life.

With a few exceptions here and there. :)

And this is where my answer is gonna get long with pictures attached and rambling so I’m gonna put the rest under the cut~

So, you know how there’s the Tombstone Picnic cartoon with it’s missing ending, right? As in - in the canon Bendy universe - when Bendy runs away from a skeleton and there’s a shadowy figure standing over him which he looks up and smiles and the screen goes black.

I’ve referrenced it a few times throughout the comic because it’s really important.

Like this old-ass panel comes from Part 2 and some events happening in it are Joey and Bendy watching the episode with Bendy getting uncomfortable about being imperfect - he looks at what’s supposed to be his arms and legs.

Generally parts 1-4 aren’t my proudest work art-wise nkjdf but there’s some things Very important to my little universe here.

I’d say especially pay attention to panel 101 in this batch.

Then, eons later, there’s part 33 and it’s one that got a few people confused that the comic is ending because this is the title I gave it when posted:

With the last panel of this part like this:

Because, technically, this is where the story of the real studio ends and is a turning point of the comic. So, in a way, it is the end. But not the end of the story.

What I assumed with the world of Bendy was that there are two worlds: the real one and the story one which is more like a cartoon. Not just because the story world looks cartoon, it even acts like one with repeating over and over again and not being able to change what’s been done in it [save for few details].

An ending of a very important cartoon episode is missing and never comes and that’s probably what is on the end reel that Henry plays when he comes around but playing the end doesn’t stop things from repeating, it simply puts an end to the current iteration of the cycle.

Back to the comic’s timeline - the story world is created.

I’m a silly goose, I know. :^)

Story Joey gets created and yeeted into the story world asmr - that’s panels from part 35 and it’s very short and weird. It’s not entirely meant to be taken literally.

It starts from little parallels between story Joey and story Henry - at least for how it is in my universe, they are both looping and starting from reading a letter from each other’s real life counterparts.

In the next part [36] this is what story Joey is looking at when he breaks the 4th wall and this is where the events start changing and he kills Thomas before he quits - generally part 36 is the “equivalent” of part 18 with some repeated panels and some a bit edited and these entirely new from the new timeline. But this is all for laying down the differences betwen real and story Joey off the bat.

You could say that real Joey “would do anything to make his dreams possible” but reastically speaking you’d expect a person to have some kind of brakes, that stop them from doing literally anything. Well, as story Joey is an exaggerated version of real Joey, those brakes kind of get done. He’s dead pan fixated on doing literally anything. And as real Joey on his way of moral decay accepted murder as a solution sometimes, story Joey kind of just doesn’t hesitate.

Another thing about parts 18 and 36 is the mention of Henry.

I haven’t gotten on it quite yet with the story Joey but what I’m gonna say is this: take real Joey’s obsession with blaming Henry for leaving mixed with leftover feelings he has for him and try to... simplyfy them and turn them Up.

Spoilers: it’s a mess.

OKAY BUT GOING BACK TO THE TOMBSTONE PICNIC WHICH IS REALLY WHAT MATTERS IN THIS RAMBLE-

In part 35 I lay down that I chose Joey to be the shadow in Tombstone Picnic.

At the time I took this decision I did it because I figured it just suits my version of the story better but honestly as of now I’m ever more convinced that it’s the case.

Because the reason why it being Henry would be cool is that if he was in a cartoon then he could be imprinted from this part of the reel - as this is apparently what’s needed in universe to print ink figures - so this is how in-game Henry would come to be.

BUT

Now DCTL has confirmed that regular humans can get inked and in BATDR trailers we met Audrey that kinda just looks like a cartoonified person which is very likely what happened to Henry. Also there’s this part in DCTL:

When Buddy Boris wakes up after being turned his Boris - cartoon - part of their mind is awoken. He sees a shadowy figure that seems dysproportional to him implying he sees someone with human-like proportions.

Then Buddy wakes up and he sees... Joey.

To me the parallel is pretty straight-forward tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But, of course, I decided for it to be Joey long before DCTL came out so I guess it’s just a cool thing to point out lol

The one thing with how I presented it in part 35 is that Joey wears the labcoat - technically he shouldn’t be wearing it, he should look like Joey usually looked like when the cartoon was made - in 1929. But not gonna lie it makes more sense for the shadowy figure to look like that with the coat included :P

And so story Joey takes away the ending by... literally ripping it away, tearing it from the reel. It’s kinda literal and kinda a metaphor.

The explanation for it is my main point here. Why I brought up that story characters are kinda different from real characters.

Because story Joey IS his own character. He’s been his own character since 1929. He’s literally a print of the cartoon. Right from the Tombstone Picnic reel.

Both he and THE END.

And here’s a little theory/headcanon - I’d like to think that cartoon reels/parts of them used for printing cartoon figures kind of just... get erased from the universe. It would explain why we never get to see that part of the cartoon and why things like that happen in the Handbook:

Ah, a convenient random splash of ink.

So, that’s why story Joey is literally ripping the end away from the cartoon world, because this part is being taken away. Forever.

And what happens with Henry ending the story is that he... imprints the ending itself.

The end is brought to life, and the end = death and welp to me it appears that Henry has the role of the “reaper” as he’s connected to maaaaaaanyyyy death themes, literally called to “be one to bring death” and can get a cool scythe.

Soooo story Joey isn’t just story version of the real Joey, he’s not just Joey 2.0.

He’s the shadowy figure and essentially - a toon.

That was the main thought of this ramble but as I’m on it I’ll throw more stuff linked to this:

In part 41 story Joey visits Bendy for the first time in the story world - real Joey did it right after Thomas tried to quit, but again, story Joey had different priorities.

And. Throwback. Remember part 2? Where Bendy and real Joey watched the Tombstone Picnic? The reason here it’s Tasty Trio Troubles is kinda because in part 40 Butcher Gang figures were created from Lacie, Shawn and Grant so this is like a follow-up.

But back to part 2. Bendy was uncomfortable with his lack of limbs back then.

Parts 1-2 and 41 have a few panels that are intentionally drawn to look similiar or almost the same even, same with dialogue, like that:

Never trust me when I do that.

The reason is because-

I’m a clown. :o)

#WOW THIS GOT LONG IM SORRY FDNFDLK #im very passionate about me lore #bendy and the ink machine #abomination #joey drew #bendy the dancing demon #the ink demon #story!joey #halfpost #long post #body horror #squish #magenta #halfask

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isadora-greenhall · 3 years

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my thoughts on bridgerton

what a load of shite lmao. there WERE bits i liked, but so much i did not.

thoughts, which may include spoilers, which i am putting under a read more so others who do enjoy the show can avoid my rage:

fuck the rape scene. i’m not even gonna mention what simon did because it’s irrelevant to daphne’s actions which were not even remotely justified. fuck daphne, fuck the writers of both the show and the books, and fuck all the heinous takes i saw in the tag

i guessed lady whistledown’s identity within like 20mins of the first ep, but was still hoping the show would surprise me. lol

did daphne really have bleeding scabs on her shoulder blades from her corset, or did i fucking imagine them? i really might have, because they were never mentioned again...this is one of the reasons women wore shifts under their shapewear ffs, rather than directly on the skin

eloise couldn’t have one scene of dialogue without expressing her disdain for men, marriage and society. we get it, she’s gay, i love that about her but i can’t fucking stand the constant WHINING! why penelope put up with her i’ll never know (i mean i know why lol and it’s because el couldn’t ever stfu lolol)

daphne is an actual idiot for not realising making ~all the pigs winners!!!1!!~ was a dumb move - and not noticing all the disgruntled mutterings after making her choice ugh

can’t have an historical romance where the love interest doesn’t have to try and save the heroine from a rape, can we? i did like that daphne got to knock the dickhead out rather than simon rescuing her, but still 🙄

all 3 elder bridgerton brothers were played by the same actor change my mind

also fuck anthony

ultimately all i have to say is i hope lady whistledown burns them all to the ground lol

edit: forgot to mention that upper class women in history would have had some understanding of sex, not just because they spent half their lives in the country and would have been breeding horses and other animals and seen that stuff happen, but because they needed to know what to avoid doing so they didn’t accidentally fall pregnant out of wedlock!!! “let no man steal your thyme”, as it were. some would’ve still been naive i guess - but daphne, eloise and penelope’s complete and utter ignorance (i mention them mostly because they’re the ones who are shown to have no knowledge whatsoever) is ridiculous. the bridgertons have 8 kids for fuck’s sake. their mum should’t’ve been so squeamish preparing daphne for her wedding night, at the very least!!!

edit 2: also penelope outing marina was despicable, especially given how reliant marina was on her friendship. pen should’ve just come out and said “i love colin” and i’m sure marina would’ve tried to find another way (and if not, it could’ve been an interesting deterioration of their relationship and created some cool drama between them!). but i just LIKE penelope, and i’m not trying to decode that, or get to the bottom of it, or justify it to anyone else (least of all me lol) so this jealous and effectively violent towards marina action is just another facet of a character i really vibe with ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#spoilers #bridgerton #my posts #my two cents #the brightness of the colours of the clothes was nice #might fuck around and forget what happened this season by the time the next one might come out and watch it for the clothes #penny and lady whistledown's dulcet julie-andrews voiceover ^u^

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betareaderwanted · 4 years

Text

New Beta Readers

@wearediscussingit

Fandom: Naruto, my hero academia, Tokyo ghoul, avatar the last airbender, voltron, witcher, last kingdom, inuyasha, castlevania, haikyuu, fullmetal alchemist, dragon prince, Derry girls, sex education, devilman crybaby, merlin, riverdale

Rating: Any

No: incest

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories. “I did karate for about 6 years so I have decent knowledge on action/fighting scenes. I'm willing to do or help out with research or anything else. I probably forgot a couple fandoms so message me about anything and I'll see if I can help. I'm really open to pretty much anything so just message me.”

How to contact: @wearediscussingit on tumblr or @we_are_discussing_it on instagram

@shortlittleninja

Fandom: BTS, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus, Avengers, Shadowhunters, The Hunger Games, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, How I met your mother, John Green novels, Divergent, Maze Runner, Sherlock

Rating: Any

No: incest, child abuse, rape/non-con

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories. “I'm not a native speaker, exactly, but I have studied the language since I was a little kid, and speak it better than my native language. I'm a decent writer working on my own fic as well, and I'm doing my A Levels right now. Excellent proficiency, and I love books more than anything, if it wasn't already clear :) I'd love to help out and be a soundboard and grammar checker!

How to contact: email: [email protected]

@johnsuhbruh

Fandom: kpop (any and every group, old and new), haikyuu, inuyasha, boku no hero, ouran high school host club, the last airbender, legend of korra, anime in general lol

Rating: Any

No: incest

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories.

How to contact: (is not letting me tag them and they did not provide any other contact info)

Amory

Fandom: All mainstream fandoms.

Rating: Any

No: incest, rape/non-con

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories.

How to contact: email: [email protected]

@have-a-little-faith

Fandom: Once Upon a Time (Captain Swan), Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Spike/Buffy, Faith/Buffy, Spike/Buffy/Faith), The 100 (Bellamy/Clarke, Murphy/Clarke)

Rating: Any

No: Main character deaths. Heavy angst with no happy ending

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories. “Happy to beta any of the above ships, I’ll keep it real with you and I’m not easily offended. Proofreading is part of my day job, pretty much anything goes and I’m open to most things. I only do happy endings so as long as we get there I’m good!”

How to contact: email: [email protected]

@negativetheodore

Fandom: I'll read any fanfiction, even for fandoms with which I'm unfamiliar. My favorite fandoms include Harry Potter, Teen Wolf, X-Men, Sherlock, Hockey RPF, and many others.

Rating: Any

No: gore

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories. “I have a lot of editing experience.”

How to contact: Tumblr @negativetheodore

@sueshiishell

Fandom: Harry Potter. Tokyo Ghoul. Attack On Titan. The Maze Runner. Star Wars. Durarara. Noragami. Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Rating: Any

No: incest, A/B/O dynamics, rape/non-con

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta in French as well. Available for original stories. “I’m open to reading and editing anything even dark or strange content”

How to contact: instagram: iam.sueshii or twitter: iamsueshiii

@crapoftheworldblr

Fandom: Voltron, Adventure Time, early Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Sherlock, Marvel, Carry On, DC, Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, Star Wars

Rating: up to T

No: incest, A/B/O dynamics, rape/non-con

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta original stories. “I'm generally more interested in fics where the main focus isn't the ship (i.e. an action-based story or an angsty story) but I'm also pretty flexible and willing to help out with anything.”

How to contact: Tumblr: @crapoftheworldblr AO3: crapoftheworld

@ayanaki

Fandom: Supernatural, Marvel, The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, The Witcher, Fairy Tail, Voltron, NCIS, The Mentalist, Transformers, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Star Trek, Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts, Good Omens, Game of Thrones, Kingsman, Person of Interest, etc etc

Rating: Any

No: incest, rape/non-con

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories. “I am willing to work with any fandom that is not listed above. “

How to contact: tumblr message [for ayanaki: there are too many people with a similar handle so I’m not sure who to tag,contact me so I can update it]

@slothday

Fandom: Avatar The Last Airbender, Stranger Things, Game of Thrones, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Rating: Any

No: incest

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories.

How to contact: @slothday on tumblr or email [email protected]

@five-rats-in-a-trenchcoat

Fandom: Sanders Sides, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter

Rating: up to T

No: incest, A/B/O dynamics

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories.

How to contact: [email protected] on Gmail, didhejusthissatme on ao3, five-rats-in-a-trenchcoat on Tumblr.

@smudgedinkwriting

Fandom: Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz, Red White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee, Harry Potter by JK Rowling, Simon Vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli, I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

Rating: Any

No: A/B/O dynamics

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories.

How to contact: [email protected], or just through Tumblr

@beta-reader-bean

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sherlock (TV), Percy Jackson Books (burn the movies), Miraculous Ladybug, The Flash (TV), Arrow (TV), others open for discussion.

Rating: Any

No: incest, mpreg, boss/employee, teacher/student

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories. “Call me Sera”

How to contact: @beta-reader-bean on tumblr

@Muffinlover246fics

Fandom: Supernatural & The Witcher

Rating: Any

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories.

How to contact: email: [email protected]

@thatone-nerdygirl

Fandom: Harry Potter, Merlin, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Skam, open for Supernatural

Rating: Any

No: incest, gore, child abuse, rape/non-con

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories.

How to contact: @thatone-nerdygirl

@skyr-gobbler

Fandom: My big ones are most story-driven video game fandoms (NOT The Last of Us Part II because I’m avoiding spoilers, but the first game is fine), Avatar the Last Airbender, Stranger Things, Sherlock, a lot of musicals, Hannibal TV, Harry Potter, and Game of Thrones. Fandoms I‘ve touched on are BBC’s Merlin, It (2017 & 2019), Marvel, and the Rick Riordan books. Anime isn’t really my thing. I’ll be ok to beta other fandoms outside this list, though.

Rating: up to T

No: incest, A/B/O dynamics, rape/non-con

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories. “Strengths are dialogue, imagery, and grammar/prose. Time zone is EST USA.”

How to contact: on tumblr @skyr-gobbler or my AO3 skyr_gobbler.

@ravensfordays

Fandom: MCU, The Witcher, The Arcana, Merlin (BBC), Kingsman, Good Omens, loads of Kpop groups but best to check with me

Rating: up to T

No: gore, child abuse, rape/non-con

Additional info: native English speaker, will beta for original stories. “This is my first time doing this so forgive me if I'm not great”

How to contact: @ravensfordays on tumblr

#new betas

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lunawings · 5 years

Text

King of Prism SSS Episode 10 (LOUIS)

So I think one of the main reasons a lot of people were confused by this episode (well other than misleading subtitles......) was because a lot of us had our own long-time theories/assumptions about what Louis is or what a Rinne is, and this episode turned out a bit different from what we were all expecting. (I got a lot of messages that were like “But I always thought that...”) I think you have to let your past assumptions go in order to take this episode in. A few of my long-time assumptions were proved wrong by this episode as well.

Although, given this post does still include statements that are my own interpretations, if you think I’m wrong about something please feel free to speak up. (But also please include evidence from Rainbow Live if applicable, etc.) I’m afraid I may have to go back and edit this post several times, especially after whenever the director starts releasing interviews about all this.

There is a tl;dr at the end, but I really hope most of you guys read all of this. I know it’s long, but the Crunchyroll subs for this episode are just....... so bad...... by far the worst....

I wasn’t really able to keep track of the the scores when I was watching this in theaters, so I actually didn’t realize what a big deal Joji’s score was until this scene at this moment. It’s why I tried to start a dialogue about it earlier.

Kinda funny how Kokoro, Mondo, Mitsuba, and Tsurugi’s scores are almost exactly the same. It makes them feel all the more like manufactured prism stars.... (not really their fault, it’s how Schwarz Rose does things....)

I’m going to skip over talking about the scene with Jin and Sanada because I think it’s best saved to discuss in a future episode. Don’t worry, we’ll deal with Jin later.

HE’S SO HAPPY AND CONFIDENT AND EVERYONE BELIEVES IN HIM........................................................................................

The translator doesn’t really understand prism sparkle, causing a lot of confusing dialogue in the subs, but I suppose that’s kind of to be expected for anyone that didn’t watch Rainbow Live.

I’m pretty sure the intended meaning here was: If they can’t fix Rinne then the prism sparkle will disappear, which would mean the end of the prism world, and the prism gods, etc.

Um no, I think they said F-type here. Rinne keeps falling in love with male stars because she’s “F-type”.

My understanding of the scene is: the Rinnes keep falling in love, which is keeping them from spreading the prism sparkle and leading to destruction of the prism world. But the gods hesitate to make an M-type prism messenger since there is a “dark history” with that. So they just change the basics (like appearance) of Rinne to be male, while keeping the rest of the coding the same, and.....

....Also restore the memory to hopefully “avoid problems”.

(The subs say “back up” here which isn’t so off, but a bit misleading. I believe the Japanese is 復原 or 復元 = restore and they do say lit: “memory”, not data. I guess the translator was thinking in computery terms.)

So this explains why Louis is male and has memories of the past, even though they say Rinnes lose their memory in Rainbow Live.

He’s a Rinne, just a different version.

And because he has those memories, he immediately begins looking for....

Turned? What do the subs mean by “turned”?

The word used here was 復活 = to be revived/resurrected.

I guess the translator thought Shine went to the dark side or something, but he went to the dark side long ago. (Either that or this was supposed to be “returned” and that was a typo.)

This scene is taking place in the Pride the Hero-ish era and the prism gods are asking Louis WTF he’s doing awakening Shine (by giving Shin the pendant and whatnot).

So. I read a while back in a director interview in the “Ready Sparking” fanbook that Louis’ mission was “to kill Shin”.

Which didn’t make any sense to me. Rinne in the flashback in Pride the Hero says she’ll find Shine again, so why would she find him just to kill him again? Why would Louis go to all the trouble of giving Shin the pendant and awakening his powers JUST TO KILL HIM?

But now in this scene it makes sense. Louis’ mission was not to kill Shin(e) to begin with. He was intended to be just a regular prism messenger trying to spread the prism sparkle UNTIL THIS SCENE when his mission changed, because he decided to divert from his mission and awaken Shine without permission.

So the spoiler I read was technically true, but not in the way it seemed. He did not specifically come like an angel of death to kill Shin(e). (A huge load off my mind.) But in between the ending of the first movie and Crazy Gonna Crazy, things changed.

Once again, misunderstanding of prism sparkle. The way they subbed this, it sounds like he was told not to expand the brilliance of Shine because what “its” refers to is not clear............ It should have been more like: “Your mission now is the elimination of Shine. There is no need to worry about spreading the prism radiance anymore.”

None of this is readable in the theater ahah... Every time I saw Part 4, I always thought I’d be able to read a bit more of it and I never did.

But yeah, I’m not sure if we knew before that Hijiri’s mother was deceased....? (Did we?)

Edit: Lol nevermind we did.

I heard some people saying that Shin(e) was a Rinne, so I just want to take a second to clarify this.

Shine is not a Rinne. Shine is a Shine: A now defunct male prism messenger program. He’s a separate program from Rinne, and they were meant to exist together. (Unlike Rinne and June, who were both Rinnes and thus caused an error by existing at the same time in the same world in Rainbow Live.)

Woah. I’m not sure, but I think they cleared up his face here to make it more obvious how much he looks like Shin...... I think I remember it being too dark to see his eyes well in the theatrical version...? ??

But anyway, the rule for prism messengers not being allowed to perform before an audience (and also the reason why) is something that was previously established in Rainbow Live.

So I think the subs were absolutely fine for this part. My understanding of it was that after erasing Shine, Rinne gets stuck in a loop where she keeps self destructing because she’s trying to find Shine.

This makes the prism gods decide to delete her memory. They also task her with guiding male stars as well, since Shine cannot fill that role anymore. This is why the Rinnes in the Rainbow Live era have their memory deleted, and what also unintentionally laid the groundwork for June to fall in love with Hijiri I believe.

And because the Rinnes kept falling in love like June is why they re-wrote the program to be Louis to try and prevent this and also gave him the memories of the past Rinnes so he will supposedly know what not to do. (But the unintended effect of this is that the memories of the past Rinnes also gave him the memory of Shine, causing Louis to search for Shine again.)

Which is why I’m confused as to why the very next scene is Louis staring at the pendant looking confused like he doesn’t recognize it or something? Because I thought from the earlier scene where Louis was created, he immediately set off looking for Shine after the Rinne -> Louis update? Am I just misreading his expression here or did I miss something? I don’t know.

Edit: OMFG IM AN IDIOT. THE SCARF. This scene isn’t taking place right after Louis was created. It’s taking place right after Crazy Gonna Crazy. He’s looking at the pendant which fell from Shin after their show. It’s meant to transition into the events which happen after Louis re-seals Shine I guess. They could have made this a bit more clear.

If you thought why the F is Kokoro here well WHY YES. YES THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE OTOHA

but putting that aside

I believe this scene was supposed to establish that Louis knows the Rainbow Live girls. He has the past memory of Rainbow Live era Rinne, but he can’t really do anything about it........... (It’s not like he can just go talk to them as Louis.....)

But his expression is so unreadable it’s hard to tell.

He gives Shin back his powers to jump geez Crunchyroll.

(But for anyone wondering how mix-ups like this can even occur in the first place, a lot of sentences in Japanese don’t have subjects in them. Therefore, if you don’t know.... the context.............................)

Maybe the translator chose this wording in the context of prism messengers being forbidden to be seen on stage. But as much as I appreciate that, it’s wrong. In this scene Louis is saying that he physically cannot perform. (He’s a fallen prism messenger now, so the rules don’t matter.)

Okay, I’ll take a moment to explain this just in case, since it is not explained outright:

When Louis broke his connection with the prism world and lost his rainbow feathers in Pride the Hero, he made the same decision June did when she ripped off her wings in Rainbow Live. He chose Shin(e) over his mission. He disobeyed orders and cut himself off from the prism gods in order to do things in his own way.

But whenever a prism messenger makes this decision, their rainbow feathers are replaced by the night dream feathers. The night dream feathers take life away.

(Screencap from Rainbow Live episode 43.)

In other words, ever since Louis pulled out his earring in Pride the Hero he has slowly began to die.....

Although this is never stated clearly within the main King of Prism series, there are several ways you could have picked up on it before this episode.

First of all, like I said before we have already been through this with June in Rainbow Live.

Second, across the Road to SSS events on Prism Rush we have steadily seen Louis getting weaker and weaker. At first he was just tired and fell asleep after the Schwarz Rose opening ceremony in Road to SSS 1, but then his deteriorating condition was made crystal clear in his Queen of Glass PR story from Road to SSS 4, in which Louis plans a date with Shin only to collapse and unwittingly stand him up.

And then eventually by the time we get to Road to SSS 9, Louis cannot even gather the energy to perform at all unless it’s with Shin. And we got this whole scene with a weakened Louis begging Shin to perform with him.

But even after their performance is a success and they win the Tokyo Kizuna Beat Climax, by the time we get to Road to SSS 10 Louis is so weak they miss the finals.

Finally, Louis being a fallen prism messenger is directly confirmed in literally the opening scene of King of Prism SSS.

So if you saw this scene and your reaction was something more like “Oh look it’s Louis... are his wings different?” and not “LOUIS IS DYING” then well.... That’s exactly why I’m always telling you guys to watch Rainbow Live.......................

Although, there was a bit of confusion over these feathers even for people who watched Rainbow Live so don’t feel too bad if that’s you. Some people thought Shin had the night dream feathers in Pride the Hero, or that Rinne had them in the end of Rainbow Live.

But no. The regular star-type feathers are dark blue too. (Generic, lower level feathers than the rainbow ones.(?))

There are only two characters to have the night dream feathers. And they are: June in Rainbow Live and Louis in SSS. Both fallen prism messengers.

And buried in the midst of all this Louis drama and deep lore is my probably favorite Joji line of all time. Seriously the Joji in this scene is best Joji and I cannot not laugh no matter how much I’m suffering.

Okay so. Here is what I do not understand about this episode and would be thrilled if someone could explain it to me. If Yamada-san knew Wataru Hibiki, then Shine could not have been sealed that long ago. I actually searched my fanbooks/magazine collection until I found one which listed Yamada-san’s age as 24. So he’s probably 25 now. So this scene could not have taken place more than 20 years ago (and even that is generous).

So what the heck was all that 1,000 years thing about? Is that just the amount of time Rinne and Shine knew each other? Or does time just not flow in a straight line for prism messengers when they are skipping in and out of different worlds?

WOAH

WOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHIN’S PHONE BACKGROUND IS DIFFERENT

Okay you’re just going to have to believe me on this, BUT I SWEAR Shin’s phone background in the theatrical version is a photo of his hand holding the pendant. Which seems like a weird choice for a background right? But I had a theory on it that I was gonna discuss here. And that theory is that Shin wanted some kind of a background that reminded him of Louis, and that was all he had. (He couldn’t straight up use a picture of Louis because he didn’t want the other boys to question it.)

But TV version Shin, HE JUST WENT FOR IT. NO SHAME. DAMN BOY.

I can’t help but wonder why Shin still feels like he has to hide his relationship with Louis here, considering if Road to SSS is canon like it seems to be then they all saw Shin and Louis perform together at the Kizuna Beat Climax a few months ago.

But I guess in between the Prism King Cup and the start of the Prism One tensions rose with Schwarz Rose again, so maybe he’s worried about that?

Or maybe there is a possibility that maybe he would talk about it if it was anyone but Leo asking. What with how Leo is.

(I know the real reason is probably just because for plot convenience/the casual viewer hasn’t read Road To SSS but shhhhhhhhhhhh.)

I’m sorry but, man I do not like this outfit. And not because it’s basically girls clothing. If Naru wore it I would hate it too. It’s just kinda ugly IMHO. (It’s not an existing Pretty Rhythm coord is it?)

Original brand glasses Shin is cute as heck though.

I like how he just keeps his same damn clothes he’s been wearing the entire time in SSS and just glasses + hat = done. Pfft.

Shin and Louis saw a PriPara movie together.

(Prism Tours is the name of the first PriPara movie, which included different courses of Pretty Rhythm shows/flashbacks shown on different weeks in theaters back in 2015. The “flavor” Over the Rainbow animation seen in the first King of Prism movie was actually reused from Prism Tours, and increased attendance to the prism boys course of that movie including that scene was one of the main reasons King of Prism was greenlit in the first place. So I wonder if this is actually a reference to that.)

This crazy umbrella street is apparently based on a real place in Nagasaki (nowhere near Tokyo).

I just happened to catch a Tweet about it right after Part 4 came out.

So..... I actually wasn’t as excited for Shin and Louis’ date as you would think I’d be. I spent a while thinking about it and I came up with a couple reasons. First of all, even though this is the first date they have had in the main series, in the side materials.... they date all the time. Like seriously! In my mind they have already been dating for years so this was like just another date.

Second.... honestly...... I don’t really ship Shin and Louis all that much anymore. Or at least not in the way I used to. My feelings about them peaked somewhere in the Pride the Hero era, and have been quietly declining since. And this scene basically sealed it. Their relationship just isn’t what I thought it was. I know in this episode Louis realizes he loves Shin and not Shine, but he took such a long time to reach that conclusion and I’m just so uncomfortable about their relationship being originally based on Rinne’s relationship with Shine. Which was not a healthy relationship.

Also! It wasn’t 1,000 years since they have seen each other dammit! It was like 20! AT MOST! Right????? Yeah that’s a long time for mortals, but not for a being like Louis that lives for thousands of years.

Anyway before you send me hate, just know that I’m definitely not saying Shin and Louis shouldn’t be together and I’m certainly not saying that you should agree with me. Both of them deserve happiness, especially Louis. I’m just saying I personally am not as passionate about them the way I used to be.

But even so....

That didn’t stop me from going to find the location of this scene when I was in Tokyo last week!

So did Shin pass the smell test or not? Because Louis.... I guess technically........... (nevermind..... not gonna open up that can of worms right now...........)

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW MAKES ME SO SAD

(Especially thinking about what happens next.)

Louis is not at his peak performance condition here. He’s not performing a serious competitive show. Heck, he’s just wearing casual clothing.

He’s finally realized he loves Shin and not Shine................ All he wants to do is just relive his date with Shin................ THATS ALL.....................

WTF THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THIS ONE

THIS IS THE MOST BLATANT MISTRANSLATION YET

He says 君は僕を殺すことができない = You cannot kill me

Shine tells Rinne (Louis) that she cannot kill him because that would erase Shin’s memories too. He knows Louis cannot stand to lose Shin.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HE JUST WANTED TO RECREATE HIS DATE WITH SHIN

HE JUST WANTED TO DO A FUN LITTLE SHOW ABOUT HOW HE LOVES SHIN

THAT’S ALL

WHY

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

It took me a long time to appreciate it considering WHAT JUST HAPPENED but this YABEEEEEEEE from Sanada is pretty hilarious.

This is unfortunately (?) another moment ruined by the new ending music.

In the theatrical version, this moment is dead silent and it makes it all the more apparent the.... change which has just taken place. It is terrifying.

But regardless. Now you can probably guess why episode 11 is so painful for me and any fans of Shin..................................

*deep breath*

Okay so. Let’s review.

Here is my tl;dr of the timeline, from my understanding:

The Rinne/Shine program is created with Rinne for female stars and Shine for male -> Shine breaks the rules and so Rinne has to erase him -> But Rinne doesn’t erase him completely and promises to find him again -> The Rinne program gets stuck in a loop where she keeps freezing/self destructing because she's trying to find Shine -> The gods decide to start erasing the memory of the Rinnes -> Rinne keeps falling in love with male stars since she's in charge of male stars now too -> The events of Rainbow Live happen -> The gods decide to alter the Rinne program to make the body male and restore the memory of the past Rinnes to fix this, creating Louis -> Since Louis has the memory of the past Rinnes he goes to find Shine again -> The events of King of Prism : Louis begins the process of resurrecting Shine in Shin -> The gods find out and order him to delete Shine again -> Louis still cannot finish the job and cuts himself off from the prism gods, becoming like June -> Louis realizes he loves Shin not Shine but.... -> Louis’ weakened state allows Shine to fully resurrect, and.....

So. There is more to this. But if you would like to come to your own conclusions about what just happened in that final scene and go into the next episode blind, this post is over. Thanks for joining me this far!!

But if you would like me to explain some more things using spoilers not revealed until the next episode, keep scrolling.

Obviously you don’t have to!

It’s up to you!

I just kinda feel like I owe it to you guys.

(Since I was lucky enough to get my major questions answered right away and not have to wait a week like you guys do.)

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Ready?

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Episode 11 spoilers start here

So I first saw Part 4 on like, 3 hours sleep. So as you can imagine I was having a really hard time taking all this in. And when that last scene happened I was basically plunged into the darkest depths of absolute horror. To think all this time I had been worried about Louis hurting Shin. The opposite had never ever crossed my mind.

In my first viewing what I thought happened was that Shin had just regained his memories and killed Louis. And for 30 seconds or so, I seriously considered walking out of the theater. Not that I didn’t plan to ever finish watching it, but I just felt I was not ready and needed time to cry and take this all in before continuing to the next episode at the next showing. I was so close and literally the only reason I didn’t leave was because I just didn’t want other people to see me walking out. So I stuck with it and forced myself through the next two episodes.

And I’m glad I did. Because that’s not what happened.

The next episode makes it very clear that Shin and Shine are two different people. Shin did not get any memories back in the final scene. Shin is Shin, and Shine is Shine.

From what I can gather, Shin was born with Shine sealed inside him. He’s like the host. (Whether this technically makes him a reincarnation or not, I’m not sure.) Shin has never had any contact with Shine, but Shine has always been watching life through Shin’s eyes.

The Shin we see walking off at the end of episode 10 is Shine controlling Shin’s body. From the moment he says “Rinne.....” Shine is in control, and Shin as we know him is unconscious. Shin has no memory of the things he does while Shine is controlling him.

Also, the act of Shine destroying Rinne’s feathers did not kill Louis back there. But as you can imagine, he’s in bad, BAD shape right now.....

#king of prism #king of prism sss #king of prism shiny seven stars #kinpri #shiny seven stars #louis kisaragi #shin ichijo

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comicteaparty · 4 years

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January 11th-January 17th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from January 11th, 2020 to January 17th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:

What’s an unplanned idea you had through your story part way through that forced you to change things? How did everything go?

eli [a winged tale]

After my beta feedback there were some characters that needed further fleshing out with stakes and relationships. Therefore I had to change some backstories to make certain interactions impactful. Thankfully im at the start so nothing i had to go back and fix. I did think of some alternative openings should the comic goes to print but that can be future me’s worries

snuffysam

simultaneously very little and a huge amount, lol. in terms of big story beats, they've pretty much all stayed the same since i first started planning the comic. the twists have been set up and paid off and the like. but there's a bunch of things i've improv'd at the last minute. one notable example that was pretty well-received - in book 2 chapter 4, taci has a fear of puns (basically only shown in facial expressions and a single comment from mizuki towards the end of the fight). this was added because... otherwise the fight at the end of that chapter is just a bunch of walking around in near-identical dark tunnels. the way the fight ends is fun, but the fight itself isn't really anything. with taci having a reason to be afraid of coruby, the fight has more stakes & entertainment value, and it makes coruby feel much more interesting as a character. another huge example is the love triangle in book 1 - in that in the script, it was non-existent. mizuki being into girls was originally only gonna be introduced in book 2 (guess where), and the relationship between cahe and pejiba was going to advance with no real competition (besides bullets). it was gonna be mentioned in like book 3 that she had a thing for pejiba, but nothing in book 1 itself. (similarly to the pun thing, you may notice that mizuki being into pejiba isn't referenced at all in the dialogue besides pejiba saying "i know what mizuki thinks of me" which is kinda vague. i... don't like changing scripts last-minute lol.)

Mei

Not gonna lie, everything I do is entirely unplanned. I focus a lot on improvised comedy and what feels right 'at the moment', and considering I write scripts way in advance, sometimes it leads to jokes falling flat when I read them again a few months later. Which is all fine, honestly, it's part of the process. The main unplanned idea for My Husband is a Cultist was turning it from a 12 page one-shot into a fully fledged webcomic, now with 3 chapters and more to come. It was very 'on a whim', and from that very first chapter I came up with more silly ideas. And the more I talked to friends, the more ideas I had for chapters. So the biggest change personally was going from a pure slice-of-life comedy and spending time actually building the world around it so that there was structure to the chaos. I'm still working on it all. I now have an underlying plot that I'm hoping to explore, and I have the arcs planned out way in advance. So it's wild that I went from 'random ideas spewed on a document' to 'I now have a plot and several arcs to cover'. That being said, I still come up with a lot of things on the fly, so I'm changing things constantly as I go and hoping that there aren't too many inconsistencies!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

One of the most important story elements of Phantomarine (http://www.phantomarine.com/) came up early in the second chapter, when I was asking myself some more questions about the world - and came upon a crucial opportunity. Luckily I didn’t have to change too much to make it work, and while it didn’t really change the plot, it upped the emotional stakes 100-fold. Which is just what I wanted. In this world, I have a big naval force, of which my heroine is (was?) the future leader - but with relative peace and cooperation between the different island nations, who the heck does the navy fight? Pirates? Eh, maybe. But vanilla pirates have been done to death, and while they can be awesome, I wanted to do something different. I wanted to tie them into the world’s supernatural element - while strongly avoiding the Pirates of the Caribbean cursed-buccaneer aesthetic. I decided to tie them to a particular blight that affects some of the characters - so as to up their stakes and better convey why they’re societal outcasts. And finally, I wanted to give them a freaking awesome name, something both nautical and supernatural. Thus, for those reading - the Fata Morgana. What didn’t even exist at the beginning of the second chapter is now an absolutely crucial story element, and I’m so happy they came into the picture. They’ve changed everything for the better. This is one reason why I resigned myself to revealing the world in bits and pieces - I’m revealing it to myself as I go along, too. It helps to be slow sometimes

eli [a winged tale]

The Fata Morgana introduction in the story was A W E S O M E! I’m so glad you have them in the story and looking forward to that amped up stakes!

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I think the biggest example would be the last-minute inclusion of Jonathan as a main character in my comic Dark Wings: Eryl (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/dark-wings-2/). I had originally planned for him to be a temporary character that we said goodbye to at the end of Chapter 5. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised the main travelling party needed another character to balance things out. I was really struggling with planning future scenes because the pool of characters felt too small. I also realised that I had developed Jonathan’s character quite a lot for him to be dropped so early. So halfway through drawing chapter 5, I rewrote the second half and he’s now a major part of the cast.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

A second example is Anor in my other comic, Children of Shadow: Ashes (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/cos/). He was originally written as a far less sympathetic character. In fact, he was going to be a borderline antagonist who only became sympathetic close to the end. But my characters often do things I don’t expect, and as I was planning the story, he and one of the other main characters, Rava, started falling for each other. I honestly loved this, and so I reworked the entire story to make Anor part of the main cast and much more sympathetic. He’s still a tsundere, and at the point where the story is now, still in constant friction with Rava, but I feel he’s now a much stronger character and is contributing a great deal more to the story than when he was a vaguely ominous frenemy in the original draft.

varethane

ooooo I am intrigued by this factoid about Anor

re: unplanned story elements, in Chirault..... [spoilers obviously] Ridriel and Trillia being sisters was something that hit me out of the blue about halfway through the story, and I immediately reworked a lot of things to make it happen http://chirault.sevensmith.net/(edited)

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

In ghost Junk... We actually avoided a major character death and had revised it literally a chapter before it happened!! We had everything written out right the the very end, but were seeing the readers reactions and reflected on the importance/and if it was absolutely necessary! So with that said, we saved the character, and kept the necessary impact and growth that it was to bring, and honestly- I'm so happy we did it

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@varethane Yeah, Anor’s character has evolved a LOT since the first draft.

Phu

With Blackblood, we actually created the 2nd and 3rd chapters and then thought we wanted a chapter ahead of those as sort of a prologue to give some world building and lore elements haha. Worked out well i think! https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/blackblood/list?title_no=300252(edited)

Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)

This is kind of the opposite, since I did the "include a new thing in the story" part first, and that's what forced me to come up with a previously-unplanned idea to explain it... In Leif & Thorn, I had a character drop a reference to "that country doesn't allow interspecies marriages" before there's any canon reference to nonhuman species that human characters might want to marry. ...and even I didn't know what that species was going to be. Had some vague idea about revealing that mermaids existed, but in my head I never managed to integrate them with the rest of the plot or the worldbuilding real well. A few months later, I finally remember that I like drawing Tiny People (not like hobbit-size, think Borrowers-size), and realize this is the perfect setting to have a Tiny People Species! Now I get to come up with plot-based excuses to draw them wherever/however I want. Plus it opens up a whole new mine of jokes: https://leifandthorn.com/comic/somethings-cooking-26-29/

Can't for the life of me remember where I got this quote from, but there's an author who, when readers would ask for details about future developments in her books, would only give answers with the disclaimer "I reserve the right to have a better idea." Words to live by.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Damn, I love that quote.

DanitheCarutor

Admittedly there isn't a whole lot I've changed, maybe a couple small things here and there, but major stuff has been the same since I started. During the very beginning of the planning phase Daniel wasn't even going to be in the story and Julian was going to be homeless, but I wasn't quite satisfied with it. The story would have been too short, contrived and the resolution didn't feel satisfying. After some brainstorming and reflection on my feelings on certain experiences I've had, I added Daniel and 'The Guide to a Healthy Relationship' as it is kinda fell into place. It's weird thinking about how important Daniel is in spite of how new a character he is. Usually it takes me a little time to build one up before throwing them into a story, they gotta age like a fine wine first, but he popped out all ready to use like one week hooch.

Not sure if it counts, but I've also made changes to future parts of my comic. Like recently, even though I know what the ending is, I put a more final image in my head on what the final frame will look like. Also I changed an event that will happen at some point revolving around Apollo and his friends. Originally something skeevy was going to happen with Brandon and Apollo involving video uploads, and a homemade contract that was signed with Apollo was drunk. I thought it was too... I dunno, stupid? impractical? So I changed it to Julian was going to (unwillingly) attend a party at Brandon's (Apollo's friend) apartment, then some big, jealousy induced fight happens where Julian gets kicked out and Apollo feels bad. I didn't like that either, felt too reaching, so I'm going with another event that is a little out there but does happen in real life and something I have done some good research on.

Gonna be as vague as possible because it's spoilers.

keii4ii

Surprising myself is pretty much every step of my writing process. For good or bad.

I do plan things in advance, but find that sometimes things aren't what they seemed from 15 chapters ago.

I think what it is is this particular comic is such a visual story. I could plan out my previous comic with far greater accuracy. That comic was more dialog-driven; you could convert it into an audio drama with minimal changes, and it would still make sense. Whereas my current comic, you can't turn it into an audio drama without very VERY extensive changes (not even sure if possible... Many silent scenes). So I need to actually draw the pages to feel it out. And I can't draw out of order. Brain just won't that way.(edited)

carcarchu

totally agree with you @keii4ii sometimes u have to actually draw it out to get a feel for it. when i write out all the dialogue for my chapters i feel like it always ends up coming out so stiff, thats why i prefer to let it flow naturally and if something happens that i didnt account for just roll with it and adjust the story accordingly

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I'm kind of weird about always needing to know exactly how many pages a chapter is going to have, so I script right down to the panel. It can create flow problems on occasion, so I wish sometimes I could plan my pages more visually, but my brain just doesn't work that way. >< It's a good thing my stories mostly rely on dialogue because they're pretty much novels in comic form.(edited)

Cronaj

When planning a scene at the end of Chapter 3 of Whispers of the Past (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366), I was having a hard time writing the dialogue. I had the images of my lead characters, Agatha and Izrekiel, talking by the docks in the moonlight, and I knew generally what they talked about, but I couldn't script it. And then, one day while walking to work, my characters straight up had the conversation in my head! And as the dialogue unraveled, the characters (mostly Izrekiel) did something completely unplanned (which I won't reveal because spoilers). This unplanned change has completely upped the drama and sexual tension for the entirety of the future story. The second event of this is in Chapter 2, where Izrekiel is helping out on Kelan's farm. Initially, there was going to be some dialogue that mostly served as world-building, but when actually writing the scene, it occurred to me that they would likely not talk too much, too absorbed by the work of harvest. And then, I suddenly visualized/heard Kelan and the other farmhands SINGING. I don't know why it popped in my head that way, but they began singing a working song. Now, I am not a musician, but I used to sing in choir and do musicals and such, and like half my family members are musicians, so I have a bit of a musical background. Anyway, all this to say that the characters started singing, and in response, Izrekiel (who has amnesia) has a flashback to some repressed memory of men marching and singing the same song, with altered lyrics. This can get extra spoilery, so I won't delve too deep into what his memory means, but.... The lyrics go as such: Oh earth, oh rain, Oh sun in the sky, You grant me with your fruit In this land. And they are directly mirrored in the flashback with: Oh strength, oh grace, I'll raise my sword, With victory in mind In this land.(edited)

Deo101

For me, I totally changed the ending! I was going to make it a tragedy, and then at some point I realized I didnt NEED to... that a story can be happy and good. So, I rewrote a ton of stuff, and actually ended up adding in some new characters! I'd say It's gone very well ^^ I'm much happier with everything now (for one, I can think about the ending without crying!!) I've changed a lot of other little things as i've gone along too. too many things to count, really.

Tuyetnhi

Initially I was writing the story timeline to 5 days but it spanned to something about a year. Which means I had a chance to develop it further than trying to rush plot points. Used to be like 3 chapters originally but now its like ....I guess 20 chapters? I don't remember the full count but lmao I'm ready to endure.(edited)

varethane

most of the biggest changes to Chirault were decided on during the first 3 years of me making it..... I completely threw out the first plan I had made, lol. There was no specific trigger for this, except maybe for 'I don't like this, actually'

keii4ii

Oh! I remembered something specific. My tiger character used to have a 'generic lean-ripped' build. Kinda like the rabbit from Juuni Taisen. Then I posted a random beach day picture, and someone (who wasn't used to seeing characters with visible leg muscles... A lot of comics they read have characters who suffer from Skipped All The Leg Days syndrome) pointed out how insanely muscular his legs were. I ran with it. Today his legs are 2x bigger than they were in that beach day pic, and it's all muscle. Also while this character stays very lean throughout the story, I as the author guarantee you that if he were to put on fat, his thighs will be the first to expand, and the most. 8)

Tuyetnhi

omg

Cronaj

@keii4ii I'm so glad for this change. Lu's legs are majestic

Capitania do Azar

Interesting replies here

In o Sarilho https://www.sarilho.net/en/, I have avoided one major character death in the first part of the story because I grow super fond of them and also because it wasn't really going to build up to anything... Which felt really unfair. So now I had to come up with narrative lines for them and I'm quite enjoying that. Furthermore, I was halfway through chapter 3 when I figured out Eurico's looks but especially his role in the story. It involved drawing a lot of trucks (and there will be more trucks in the future) but I'm really excited for him as a character

Desnik

As I was writing my comic I was trying really hard to keep the POV limited to one character, but that character doesn't have enough perspective to set up the plot very well at the beginning. This meant hopping POVs to some other characters and now I'm gently trying to squash a lot of these subplots before they go completely out of control...

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

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dalishious · 5 years

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hey so i'll finally get to play da:o soon and was wondering which origin i should strart with (if it matters at all)? i want to romance leliana first! 💘 also if there are any general important tips to share i'm ready to absorb (i'm already eyeing your recommended mods)

All the origins are great, and my recommendation is to read the little blurbs about each one in the character creator, and pick whichever one captures most of your initial interest! (But with that said: Trigger warning for sexual assault/rape with the City Elf Origin, and abuse with the Dwarf Commoner Origin.)Leliana is bi, so you can romance her with whatever warden you want! (She’s also amazing so A+ taste anon LOL)

EDIT: Also TW for rape threats in the female Dwarf Noble origin

IDK what version of the game you have, but if it didn’t come with all the add-ons, let me just say that it is well worth investing in the Awakening expansion. It is basically a whole other game in itself.

Okay, so some really basic advice myself, without spoilers if the case may be you’ve actually avoided them:

Try not to rush through dialogue–a lot of it is actually pretty important worldbuilding, lore, and plot stuff. I’m saying this because my brother is the type of gamer who likes to breeze through cutscenes and then complain about not understand what’s going on, and I would strongly recommend against doing that for your very first playthrough, LOL

You’re going to end up with a list of a few goals to complete for the main plot, and don’t stress about the order in which you complete them–save for one thing: If you’re starting something, it’s best to finish it, because there is one quest in particular where if you leave before/without helping, literally an entire village will be destroyed. I mean, unless that’s your goal.

There are in fact a few different ways of handling a lot of situations, and your decisions and dialogue choices actually do matter.

I highly suggest investing in the Persuasion skill early on, to unlock further dialogue options.

Likewise, make sure to level up either your character or at least one of your rogues to be able to pick locks. Otherwise you’re gonna miss out on a lot of good loot! (Or get the lock bash mod.)

Another valuable skill is herbalism, so you can craft a billion health potions and never have to worry about running out.

Hold down Tab to highlight things that you can interact with. This is especially helpful when you’re completing a quest in which you need to hunt down certain markers and whatnot.

Make sure you keep your companions just as protected as your own character. (If not more so. Honestly Zevran really should be wrapped in bubble wrap or something.)

CHANGE! YOUR! COMPANIONS! TACTICS! If you unlock a new ability, they will not actually use that ability unless it is part of their tactics! You gain more tactic slots as they level up.

If anyone has any other advice for this fine anon, please reblog with it. :)

#dao #this also reminded me i need to update that mod rec page #advice #Anonymous #ask

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dangerscully · 5 years

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Yesterday I was asked to elaborate on my thoughts on All About Eve, having been lucky enough to see it on Wednesday evening - the first night after the press night.

First off - I haven’t seen the film yet. I’ve heard that it keeps a lot of the script and ideas the same, but as of yet I can’t comment on those similarities or differences.

This turned itself into a long post and I accept no responsibility for that.

Spoilers below the cut. (If the cut doesn’t work on mobile and you want to avoid spoilers, now’s the time to scroll quickly down).

I’m gonna go all in here and start with a seriously unpopular opinion.

I didn’t particularly enjoy Gillian Anderson’s Streetcar performance. I found it largely cringeworthy.

I acknowledge that it was good. But it was so melodramatic - and yes I know that’s what the role demands! - that it made me uncomfortable because I was constantly aware that I watching Gillian with a capital G perform it, something that she’s an expert in making the audience forget, usually.

And a large part of my discomfort could well be thanks to the fact that I watched it via NTLive, rather than in person. I had a similar experience watching David Tennant in a televised performance of a stage production of Macbeth, and yet I found him incredible on stage in Don Juan in an equally hammy role.

But anyway, I digress. I went in with lowered, slightly nervous expectations, due to this.

Gillian Anderson. The main reason I attended the play, let’s be totally honest here. And boy did she deliver. A masterclass in acting, from subtleties to quiet melodrama.

And now that part has been said, the main reason that most of you will have clicked through(!), lets go a little deeper into the show.

***

All About Eve is a hybrid between a theatre production and a cinematic one. It is done through the very clever use of camerawork that is projected live onto the lifted back wall of the stage, allowing action to happen off-stage while still enabling the audience to experience it live.

Over time, actors have found themselves having less of a restriction about into which box they categorise themselves. Film? Theatre? TV? Choose one - you can’t have more than one field! Luckily that is less so now, and Ivo Van Hove’s production is a way of celebrating that.

The live camerawork and editing is done so impressively and seamlessly that it’s almost unbelievable at times that you’re watching a live, single take of these scenes. It also allows for new ways for each performance to be slightly different each night. And it melds the intimacy of watching a live performance on stage, with the different kind of intimacy allowed by close-up, slow shots.

It’s also a great nod to the voyeurism and a lack of privacy that is a key theme in the show, thanks to fan culture. Scenes behind literal closed doors are still shown in detail to the audience.

And that live camerawork begins in the very first scene. Addison takes the stage, to introduce you to the story. And after a brief monologue, he walks off stage, with the camera following him. He is projected onto the empty stage, while he walks around “backstage”, introducing you to many of the characters and setting the scene.

I found that so innovative. And immediately impressive as a single take one-shot. (It had a very Birdman vibe to it!) The audience is told from the very first scene that cameras are going to be an important part of the play. This scene was the last minute addition that was not in any of the previews, and I’m so glad that they put it in. Hopefully it will be kept!

Coming to the play from a fandom perspective - although I’ve taken a fairly healthy step back in recent months - felt hilariously meta. So much of the obsessive, embarrassing behaviour exhibited by Eve towards Margo was recognisable in more extreme areas of this fandom! We didn’t queue up for the signing on Wednesday (the jury’s out on whether or not we will do the second time we see it) but we did feel - probably unfairly - a sense of irony as we walked back to the tube station past the long queue of fans waiting to meet the cast of a play that is essentially about the dangers of obsessive fan behaviour!

My favourite scene was, perhaps (lol) unsurprisingly, one of Gillian’s. And she’s not even the focal point of the scene. She is off-stage, in the bathroom which is totally shielded from the audience. And while a scene plays out on stage, a projection of Gillian in a very Blanche-esque moment - despite having no dialogue - absolutely steals the scene via a single-camera projection that ends in a graphic display of vomiting.

Another particularly memorable scene happened again in the bathroom. This time, a two-camera set-up was used, increasing the feel of watching a film or tv show even more, as it cuts between Karen and Eve’s faces as they have a crucial confrontation in the bathroom.

Karen. Karen Karen Karen. Monica Dolan, wow. Really, honestly incredible. No real words beyond that. This feels a particularly ineloquent reaction but she blew me away.

I’m gonna go back to the camerawork now; yes I keep focusing on it but it’s such an integral part of the overall production. After several live action projections from the same angle, we are greeted with a projection of Margo looking into the mirror, facing fears about her age and how it is affecting her career. Slowly, the projection shows her ageing. And it almost tricks the audience’s eye in that it takes a while to even realise that this projection isn’t actually a live one!

A similar CGI projection is used later in the show, to show Eve’s face transforming into Margo’s as she slowly takes over her life. It’s a simple concept, used over and over again in film and TV, but bringing it to a theatre stage was a new and exciting use for it.

I’m a big fan of PJ Harvey’s music. The music for this show was more like an atmospheric film score than a theatre score for a lot of it, again blurring the lines between a stage and screen production.

A lot of hype has been built up for Gillian and Lily’s moments of singing. Gillian was surprisingly good! You can tell she’s not a trained singer, but given that she is highly intoxicated at the point she takes the metaphorical mic, that doesn’t matter at all, and she still hits all of the notes in an authentic way.

Lily James, of course, has more of a musical background, but her performance was still to me, more lacking overall. I did listen to a podcast that said that PJ Harvey heard that Lily is able to play the piano, so planned her song around that. Lily is then asked about it on the podcast, and laughs that she’s not played since school and it must have been something she told a white lie about to embellish her acting CV! And fair play to her, she pulls it off very well if that’s the case!

I don’t want to write a totally unbiased review, so I’ll touch on the aspects I was less impressed with. My main criticism of the first half in particular, was the number of jumps, in both time and location, without any real indication given to the audience. The set remained the same, and the time jump could apparently happen mid-dialogue. It’ll be interesting to see if it’s easier to keep track of this next time I see the show.

It would have also been cool to see a more modern take on obsessive fan culture. There’s plenty of research material for that around these days! Social media creates armies of fans, obsessing over minor details about a celebrity’s life in ways that weren’t as widely possible when the script was originally written.

Lots of the reviews have criticised the fact that Ivo was trying to be “too clever” while putting this show together. And it could easily be argued that they have a point. Personally, I think it works, and as such the idea of it being “too” clever is voided. But it’s understandable that people may agree with the critics on this.

***

I think that’s most of what I have to say about the show! Given the number of changes that happened during the preview run (which, please remember, is essentially just a series of rehearsals to an audience), it will be interesting to see if the show develops any further. I will be seeing it again in April, over two months away, and I’m looking forward to comparing the two!

#all about eve #gillian anderson #all about eve spoilers #lily james

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momestuck · 5 years

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Epilogues: Candy, Ch 16-21 [Epilogue 4]

So we’ve lost (spoilers will remain below the cut). This section starts progressing a lot faster, as the couples we’ve established all very rapidly start adopting kids. Jane’s whole eugenic vision, and fucked up relationships, starts coming much more to the forefront.

I call this the “we live in a society” chapter. Or perhaps the “edelman” chapter.

Chapter 16

At this point we get a six month time skip. Or for Terezi, a single day timeskip, because apparently there’s heavy time dilation between Earth C and the Furthest Ring.

The wedding itself is handled by recap, emphasising anecdotes. Of note is that Terezi is continuing to ghost basically the entire cast apart from John, which she claims is because he’s the most annoying.

In fact this entire chapter is text convos between John and Terezi, which is a nice return to early Homestuck when typing quirks were actually, well, typing quirks lol. Jane, it turns out, is now dating both Gamzee and Jake, which, well, ok.

ok.

anyway, there’s some wonderful dialogue on kismesis relationships at least:

TEREZI: Resentment can be fine in a short term black affair if the gaol is just to fill pails and avoid culling.

TEREZI: But in a sustained romantic rivalry it will always spell ruin.

TEREZI: Just like in a caliginous relationship, how it’s important for you to be able to communicate with your kismesis.

The rest of Terezi’s dialogue, talking a bit about Vriska, is a joy to read. I miss Terezi.

Oh yeah and Roxy’s pregnant. That’s important! Their wedding was 6 months prior, though it’s not clear from the narration when their baby was conceived.

Chapter 17

Another three month timeskip. That means nine months from the wedding - just about long enough for John and Roxy’s baby to be born.

Rose and Kanaya have outright named their child Vriska, which is... ok she may be a clone but that’s one hell of a thing to put on a kid, fucking hell.

Like, just wow. Imagine knowing Vriska and deciding to not just adopt her clone but name her clone after her! I take back whatever dumb shit I was saying about Rose and Kanaya being well adjusted. Poor kid.

There’s an amusing conversation in which Kanaya has misconceptions about how human children are born - from Karkat, via Dave. This is really going hard on the whole reproductive futurism angle huh.

The question of Vriska’s name comes up. Rose says that Vriska defeated Lord English - apparently having entirely forgotten all the things she said before, about how that whole plot point of how he was ultimately defeated was unresolved.

JOHN: rose, no one knows what happened to lord english.

ROSE: Of course we do. Vriska used the juju and her accompanying ghost army to defeat him.

ROSE: Why else would we be here?

JOHN: i don’t think that’s what actually happened though!

KANAYA: Then What Did Happen John

JOHN: i... i JUST said! JOHN: no one knows!

So uh... it’s like there’s some all-encompassing force, pushing the kids towards a “happy ending” defined in terms of pairing up and raising kids, editing their memories to leave nothing unresolved... and only John seems to be immune?

And moreover, whatever this force is, it seems to have robbed Roxy of her independent will. She’s going along with whatever John wants - much to his consternation.

Everyone is contorting themselves into a standardised template of “adulthood”, focused on reproduction above all, telling themselves it will make them happy... even the lesbians!

(Is this all one massive attack against the Harry Potter epilogue lol)

Chapter 18

In this chapter, Jane explains the need for eugenics to Gamzee. She insists that, if trolls were allowed to outbreed humans, the ‘natural’ Alternian social order might assert itself. It’s not racism! Some of her best friends are trolls!

Gamzee suggests this might get her ‘cancelled’, and she calls him ‘a literal insect in clownface’. Because she’s totally not xenophobic or anything. They have kismesis-hatesex, which includes...

In spite of Jane’s protests, Gamzee makes a desperate play for a lusty squeeze. Jane puts up a valiant show of resistance, but Gamzee knows she has no real intent of fighting him off—it’s all part of the kismetic dance. He has his big clown mitts right on her busty bags, honking away.

...what feels to me like a dangerous blurring of consent lines. Bottom line: this relationship is all kinds of fucked up...

Also why did I have to see the words “busty bags” with my actual eyes.

Not sure what the story is going for with this troll eugenics plotline. Jane explicitly tries to draw a line between this and actual racism insofar as there are, she says, actual biological differences between humans and trolls such as birth rate, unlike human ‘races’ (the story does not deviate from the idea that the kids are ‘aracial’, incidentally, though it’s hard to take Jane as anything other than white the way she acts). But why does the narrative feel the need to go there? I guess it’s about Jane’s character specifically; the not-so-subtle fascism in her whole image as a ‘proper’ businesswoman. She’s just doing what needs to be done!

I recall that ‘prison camps’ was up there in the content warnings list.

The latest Homestuck Baby is named Tavros. Naming babies after your dead friends is all the rage these days!

The narration stays with Jake as he leaves the room, but we still hear more than we’d like of Jane and Gamzee fucking.

The subject of kids - the REPRODUCTIVE IMPERATIVE - comes up. Jade explains that merging with Beq has done something to her bits, so she won’t be getting pregnant. And nobody’s really feeling ectobiology. Though that’s probably not the biggest issue with her and Dave...

She says she’s discussed surrogacy with Rose, and neither Dave nor Karkat would be ‘the father’ in this scenario. Ah, I think I see where this might be going. Beq was a male dog, as I recall.

(so this is basically... V Homestuck, apopros of nothing: do you know i think jade probably has a dick)

Chapter 19

In accordance with our headlong rush into families and reproduction, John has started working on becoming his dad I guess? He has a moustache, and even carries a briefcase.

New world, new social order... or not, I guess.

Anyway, the troll racism/eugenics metaphor is really speeding up:

KARKAT: JADE, DON’T YOU READ THE NEWSPAPERS?

KARKAT: THE NEW ADMINISTRATION IS CRACKING DOWN ON CERTAIN KINDS OF INTERSPECIES ADOPTION LAWS.

KARKAT: IF YOU’RE SO INTENT ON IT BEING “THE THREE OF US,” WE LITERALLY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO ADOPT A HUMAN CHILD BECAUSE THE HUMAN ADMINISTRATION IS AFRAID THAT I’D...

KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW.

KARKAT: TEAR INTO IT, AND FEAST ON ITS ORGANS.

KARKAT: AND IN THAT KIND OF POLITICAL CLIMATE? WELL, I’M NOT SURE IT’S A WORLD I WOULD WANT TO RAISE A TROLL CHILD IN RIGHT NOW.

Later on they outright call Jane a fascist. Not beating about the bush here. And John has apparently described Jane’s treatment of Jake as outright rape, which his friends generally assent to.

Thinking I should have picked up more of that dynamic when I read the earlier Jane/Jake scenes. There was a line...

It’s not the most rousing speech Jake has ever given, but it seems satisfactory enough for Jane. He releases a tremendously relieved sigh when Jane breaks into a smile.

JANE: Oh, Jake!

He flails when she kisses him. But this time, there’s no doubt he hasn’t said no.

Yeah that pretty much made it clear didn’t it. Jane has absolutely no regard for Jake’s will; and Jake is in no way in this situation able to assert how much this dynamic is harming him, without Jane pulling out the same manipulative tricks, playing hard on his ridiculous ‘old-timey gentleman’ thing.

Anyway, any discussion of their own relationship is forestalled when a dead body of Jade falls from the sky! Apparently it’s a much younger version of Jade - the origin is utterly unclear. (Perhaps we’ll find out in the Meat storyline?)

Whatever the cause, it prompts Jade to go to Jane - whose Life powers could bring the dead Jade back, in theory.

Chapter 20

But Jane’s powers... don’t work at all. (Also her relationships are pretty dire and she’s exerting fascist influence behind the scenes). Apparently whatever’s afflicting this Jade is more fundamental than poison: a ‘metaphysical’ rot. Meanwhile, it’s heavily implied (as was more or less said outright earlier) that Rose’s Seer powers don’t work anymore.

Jade wonders if her presence in Earth C implies the other selves across other timelines can no longer exist. But this is maybe only brought up to dismiss it.

Instead, Roxy brings up the whole fascism thing - as a political divide pushing them apart (metaphor ahoy). Which prompts an impassioned - and justified - rant from Karkat. Gamzee steps in, and Karkat has a go at him too, and the way he’s exploiting his claimed ‘redemption’:

KARKAT: NO.

KARKAT: NEVER IN THE WILDEST DREAMS OF YOUR SOPOR SOAKED PEABRAIN WILL WE BE “MOTHERFUCKING GOOD,” GAMZEE.

KARKAT: BECAUSE YOU’RE SLEEPING WITH THE GODDAMN ENEMY.

KARKAT: BECAUSE I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT WHAT YOU DID.

KARKAT: AND BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU EVEN DID WRONG IN THE FIRST PLACE!

In the framing this story has developed, he’s not wrong, obviously. The words ‘redemption arc’ are thrown out again by Roxy and Jane in Gamzee’s defense, and Karkat storms out.

Karkat is good in the role of moral authority, directly confronting cruelty and hypocrisy that his more ‘polite’ friends would rather sweep under the rug in the name of unity. We see their reactions:

Karkat leaves a stunned silence in his wake. Jane fuming silently to herself, Kanaya and Rose exchanging a knowing look about World Politics, John chewing his lip and mulling about how Karkat is probably right, and how if he were braver, he would have backed him up.

Kanaya and Rose - on the ‘right side’, but in many ways, the middle class, above-it-all. John, the coward. Jane, put on the spot, soon falls back on her ideals of propriety...

Karkat’s ancestor was the Signless/Sufferer, who led a rebellion against the Condesce. Perhaps he’s stepping up to fill a similar role...

Chapter 21

As was discussed in the prior chapter, Roxy insists on holding a funeral for the dead alternate-universe Jade... for the sake of unity, or something. This works about as well as you might expect.

Oh, and, on the subject of Jake and Jane, well.

You gave it the old college try chap, Jake said to him earlier as he waxed his mustache in the mirror. But its better for a man to just let his wife do whatever she wants. I promise youll experience less pain that way old boy.

yeesh

Also Calliope is here! She gives a little speech about death, and shares a tender moment with Roxy... so... still playing into that ambiguity huh.

Then Aradia and Sollux show up?? I guess they were, technically, still alive! They have not, indeed, been absorbed by the big black hole... and they certainly liven things up.

Honestly, the massive pileup of characters leads to them playing off each other in ways I’ve really missed. It’s like a good old classic homestuck group chat feel.

Roxy gives a speech that’s ultimately all about Dirk - about the ways things might have been different, whether it’s even meaningfully possible to compare. Good old Homestuck themes. Then she has her actual baby because why not.

As if this isn’t enough melodrama for one chapter, Jade’s ‘corpse’ gets up, and reveals it’s not actually Jade in there at all, but... someone who speaks in red text, and is known to Calliope. Alt-Calliope perhaps..?

Sure enough, it is... the Calliope who predominated over Caliborn in an alternative branch of that timeline, who created the big black hole, and who has now arrived ‘to protect your world’.

Phew.

Epilogue 4 as a whole

Bloody hell that was something.

So Jane’s gone full fash. For significant chunks of the comic she was mind-controlled by the Condesce, but I guess within this story she’s capable of going fash on her own devices.

The awful relationship between Jade and Jake is well-realised, I think, for all its awfulness. It comes across as a believable, ugly dynamic.

The whole redemption arc thing, that keeps coming up - it’s about fiction, but perhaps also more broadly about transformative and restorative justice; the kind of difficult conversations that I struggle with a lot, of how we collectively and individually respond to instances of cruelty, abuse and violence, and how these things arise in the first place.

At its best, this story is challenging a perspective that people who have been hurt in terrible ways should be obliged to grant forgiveness and absolution; a ‘too easy’ story where all pain disappears and everyone can just be friends again. But we must avoid two failure modes: one is a model of the world which takes it that some people are just bad, justifying any extent of “retributive” violence, and systemising that in a way that can and will inevitably be directed as a further weapon against those who are vulnerable to it, rather than in any way that prevents harm. All expansions of prisons are justified by appealing to the worse “predators”, but they do basically nothing to prevent sexual violence (rather, they concentrate it) and instead conveniently provide slave labour.

But there is still an obvious danger in the presumption that someone who has learned to be abusive and controlling has ‘reformed’; of refusing to act when someone needs help. Any system can be exploited.

Note that, of course, there is a considerable gap between imprisoning Gamzee in a fridge, and welcoming him as part of the friendship circle. When practised on a community scale, exile is an instrument of violence, but no individual person or small friendship group is obliged to maintain a relationship with a particular person...

So that’s what it’s dealing with. Only with ‘lol this clown is gross’ jokes; Gamzee, as presented here, is a repulsive person in every way possible, and those who defend him are painted as idiots.

The whole thing with the clowns in Homestuck has always been a bit of a weird one. The cultural markers invoked are heavily associated with class: they’re dirty, they drink a lot, they’re literally juggalos. But they’re also declared to be the ruling class, relating to other trolls as oppressors. And of course, haha, it’s only jokes, right...

(That’s not to get into the extent that clown imagery is racialised in the US, because hoooo boy that’s a complicated one. Discussions of ‘coding’ in media can get horribly oversimplified, and I think I’ve put my foot in that elsewhere. Coding is never just one thing)

Anyway I’m probably like, going on too much about this. Tell me I’m full of shit lol.

Alt-Calliope is hopefully finally going to explain wtf is going on as a result of John’s dubious decision at the start.

#momestuck

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warp6 · 6 years

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If you're still doing the fic asks from yesterday, 2, 4 and 13 for with beautiful reluctance!

(put a fic title + questions from this list in my inbox!)

aaah thanks for the ask!

2: What scene did you first put down?

This is such an interesting question for a longfic that was over a year in the writing. I actually went back and looked at the version history to figure this out, and it’s a good thing that I did because it turns out I was totally wrong with all my best guesses as to what it was!

I jump around a lot (within scenes, between scenes) when I write; that’s always been my writing style, since as I’m writing one portion of the story, as soon as I have an idea for a later part, I just jump ahead and write out the part I’m thinking of. (Fucking hilariously, I had to come back and finish that sentence just now because I’d jumped somewhere else in this post after writing ‘portion of the story,’).

My memory before checking the version history was that the first scene I’d written had, in fact, just been the first scene of the first chapter. According to version history, though, I wrote down the first 1.5 sentences of the first scene:

The sky is overcast and the garden is overgrown. The woman walking up the path

(unchanged from the final version, except for the substitution of ‘person’ for ‘woman’), and then jumped to writing the scene where Janeway finds the stuffed animal and its tag at the end of Chapter 3.

More broadly, I have a pretty clear memory, considering it was well over a year ago, of the first night I started writing this fic–where I was, what I was feeling, etc. Pretty much from conception of the idea, I knew the premise of the fic, what it was about, and where it was going–though not all the major details, which I fleshed out over the next year as I outlined and wrote.

When I opened the new document, I believe I first hunted down the beginning quote–from which the fic gets its name–then came up with the setting of that very first scene, which snapped together in my mind from the quote in combination with a concept from the young adult novel that is credited on AO3 at the end of the fic. Then, evidently, I jumped ahead to the stuffed animal scene when I thought of it, to go ahead and get that down. I also wrote a rudimentary list of chapters that night, since the name/setting/[important spoiler characteristic] of each chapter were key to the premise of the fic.

About a month later, I started working on the fic again, and it looks like I then laid down sections of the first three chapters all at the same time.

Remaining questions under the cut for mild fic spoilers (I’m avoiding spoiling anything too major even under the cut, but there’s definitely some discussion of later-in-the-fic stuff) and length!

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Ohhh, you know exactly which one. (Despite being the cretin who wrote it, I still practically scream every time I read over the scene and reach that line. ;)

Second favorite… I think I’m going to go with this line from Chapter 15:

“But I think he’s ready to come home.”

I think I like this line so much in context because it connects to so many different threads of the story, and also because it (I think/hope) successfully feels like a resolution to them. (I literally only just now went and checked, and it turns out it’s essentially the last line of dialogue in the fic! There’s one more spoken line but it doesn’t really count–plus the epilogue–but basically, it’s the last line spoken by one person to another. I never actually realized that this line was the last real line of dialogue when I was writing or editing, maybe because there is a full scene after it and an epilogue after that. In other words, I wasn’t thinking of this line in that light when I wrote it–which makes it interesting to me that it was the first potential second-favorite line I thought of, several weeks later, even though I’d never noticed its significance as Last Line of Dialogue while I was writing).

Elements of the fic that this line connects to, off the top of my head, sans spoilers: It’s a line about him (and all the moments that connects to, throughout the fic and at the beginning especially). It echoes the most famous line from the show itself, “Set a course…for home;” this fic was definitely a love letter to Star Trek: Voyager (and said line even makes an appearance in Chapter 10.) It also echoes Janeway’s end-of-Chapter 13 realization about she would have wanted ***** to do (which, in that moment, both really is and really isn’t about *****). And finally, it concludes the conversation Janeway has just had with ***** in Chapter 15, metaphorically being a final affirmation (with “he” in this sense being a stand-in for *****) of *****’s right to feel safe, not worry about protecting *******, and know the whole ordeal was over.

But despite all this, the line itself is just a lowkey end to the conversation, not any kind of emotional bomb. At least to me, it (hopefully) feels sort of gently satisfying, the end of the emotional catharsis I was trying to bring about in the final chapters (and which I sure as heck went through at least as the writer, lololol). In addition to all those direct connections to story elements, I feel like the line just has a nice all-around vibe of “Hey, you know what? This whole angsty story? That you took the time to read, and the characters went through in-universe? It’s over. The End. :)” It just feels very softly, peacefully conclusion-y, somehow.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS QUESTION SO I CAN TALK ABOUT MUSIC! Musical inspiration was so important to me when I was writing this fic. :D

First of all, I’m just gonna copy what I have in the fic endnotes:

* By the power vested in me, the official theme song of this fic is Dance to Another Tune by First Aid Kit.

* I also listened to this specific piano cover of the Lullaby from Pan’s Labyrinth when I was writing the garden scenes…which, as luck would have it, is only present on the Internet as the first song in this Ancillary Justice fanmix. (You don’t have to have an an account to listen, and it shouldn’t show you an ad when you listen for the first time). (This is a similar but slower version on Youtube.)

So those are the most important songs that helped me–I don’t always listen to music before I write, but for this fic I made a real point of listening to that Lullaby cover to help me capture the particular feel of the garden/observatory scene.

ALSO! :D I was considering making a playlist for the fic, which I didn’t really get around to doing since (judging by commenters/lack thereof) readership dropped off pretty sharply as the fic got longer, so I just didn’t think that many people would be into it, and I was also pretty tired from all the work I’d poured into the fic itself and ready to go focus on other things. But I would still enjoy doing it for myself–and I know that, of the people who did read the fic, there are a couple of major music lovers–so I might still get around to it some time!

Songs slated to be included are The Grey by Icon for Hire (ironically, the song is more relevant for the chapter called “The Theatre” than the chapter called “The Grey”–and furthermore, now that I think about it, Icon for Hire itself also has a song called Theatre that isn’t at all relevant to this fic, LOL), Navigate by Band of Skulls, maybe Never Let Me Go by Florence and the Machine, and maybe a few of my general Janeway/Voyager favorites that happen to be relevant to this fic: Falling by HAIM–relevant to the earlier chapters (“Never look back and never give up, and if it gets rough it’s time to get rough”)–and We Are All Made of Stars by Moby for the epilogue.

#fic asks

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maiji · 6 years

Photo

Process and wip images for A House That Holds Long Limbs (Part 2)

See Part 1 process and wip documentation

Read the pages for part 2 here (full complete version will be linked from YYH North Bound master post)

As a story progresses, I tend to become more comfortable with jumping ahead and around in my so-called process. This is mainly because the idea of getting deeper into the action is exciting and I want to get to drawing the pages as quickly as possible. The downside is that it usually results in a lot of “oops” and rework on what was supposed to be a final page.

Here you’ll see that script/pagination/thumbnailing and final pages are all starting to drift even more than in Part 1.

The (last version of the) script

Earlier versions were even more point form and incoherent with typos. But, it only needs to capture enough that I can recognize key actions, points of dialogue, the mood, things to draw in the panels, etc. A few specific items to point out:

“[new part 2]”: The script originally had no exposition on rokurokubi - it went straight to Hokushin telling Raizen he was leaving. It occurred to me later, after I’d started thumbnailing, that inserting a few pages of storytelling narrative right here would help to further solidify the kaidan (traditional Japanese ghost story) effect and mood. More importantly, it creates a baseline reference for what the reader will know about rokurokubi for the purposes of this story. I was lucky that Part 1 and Part 2 were cut neatly enough that this wouldn’t be jarring.

I’m still not entirely happy with the text for this section, mainly the “features of note” about rokurokubi. Not just the fact that it’s oversimplification and slight adaptation of actual Japanese folklore - which can’t be avoided unless I want to write a historical essay here. I’m mainly not super keen on how each of the three items has been phrased. It’d be nice to make the three points more parallel in terms of length, but I couldn’t seem to edit, increase the number of points (by splitting them up), or reorder it effectively without negatively impacting other aspects of pacing and information reveal. More points would draw out the pages longer than I wanted, and some points were clearly sub to other points. The final here is the “good enough” version. JUST GET IT DONE ALREADY SO THAT IT CAN GO OUT INTO THE WORLD.

Sooo many word choice changes. The biggest one, done at the last second, was “They are almost always female” to “They are rarely male”. Other phrasings I debated - “They are very rarely male”, “They are almost never male”, etc. Lemme tell ya, it’s easy to get lost in the weeds… Anyways, the main reason for this was because after I drew it and ran the text through my head, the originally-intended juxtaposition of Hokushin on this page with the word “female” felt too subtle. I felt it would create a brief moment of cognitive dissonance that didn’t serve the flow of the story, so I changed it to create emphasis on the same gender instead with the rationale that it will flow more smoothly and allow the reader to focus their attention on the fact “males are very rare” more than the mental hiccup of processing the juxtaposition. DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?? It made sense in my head.

Anyhow, I’m sure there are people who will disagree with many of the decisions I’ve made, but at least you can see what I was trying to do.

Thumbnails

As mentioned, these thumbnails were done BEFORE I decided to insert the exposition at the beginning.

The first two rows on the left hand page are actually the same set of pages - you can see little arrows pointing down or to the right whenever I’m dissatisfied with a thumbnail and attempt to redraw it.

WIPs

I really like how Hokushin turned out in the last panel here; I like the pencils more than the final inked version. It’s also another example of changing text up to the last second. In case it’s hard to make out, it says (along with what happened to them in the final):

First thought bubble: Ugh, whatever… (moved to the next page, seemed to work better as the end exclamation for this sequence of thoughts before he turns his attention to something else)

Over Hokushin’s head: Aaaargh (moved into the thought bubble)

Second thought bubble: He’s not my responsibility anyways! (no change)

First arrow: *already feeling bad* (no change)

Second arrow: *too responsible* (dropped, since a previous panel already said “too responsible”. Too redundant)

Next to Hokushin: All he did was tie me up in a tree (no change)

The above panel “And at night...” was a thrilling and scary thing for me lmao. I don’t usually tackle large patches/fills of black, since many of my comics are scribbly in style (pencils, hatching) or colour. I’m too lazy for screentones, traditional or digital. It’ll be interesting as parts of the story coming up will involve poorly lit/dim/dark spaces. I’ve been reviewing how other artists handle it, particularly those with styles driven by pure-ink or minimalist type approaches. Two immediate examples from Yu Yu Hakusho that I’ve been going back to are the dark room fights during Genkai’s successor trials (I’ve taken a similar approach here), and the haunted bedroom case in volume 19. Hardcore cross-hatching seems like a likely route, but that freaks me out when I have to do it over faces. I’d like to minimize or avoid screentoning out of principle, but I still want to create a clear mood, so we’ll see how it goes...

This was my view while inking this page - holding the book in one hand while inking Hokushin with the other. Using the more freehand, sketchy inking style for this comic was so helpful in terms of reducing my inking anxiety and allowing me to work faster.

It’s always great when you can find a reference for period armor (because I find armor very difficult) that is so close to the pose you’re already drawing. There are some small differences - for example, Hokushin’s head is turned more to the right; his left arm is turned and raised more as he’s pulling the sword upwards. But it’s close enough.

Also, spotlight on a few of the books I’ve referenced over the course of working on North Bound in general and this part specifically.

Clockwise from top left:

日本服飾史女性編 and 男性編 (History of clothing/costume in Japan female and male editions). This marvelous set of books highlights Japanese fashion throughout history. I’ve actually been referencing these photos for a long time before I ever picked up these books - you can see them at the Costume Museum’s website here, alongside helpful line drawings and translations of some of the details. But the books allow me to see a lot more detail.

Hokusai manga vol 1 (this book is published as part of a set of 3). Sketches by Hokusai. This one focuses on “The life and manners of the day” and includes drawings of youkai, including rokurokubi, as well. You can check out the drawings online at places like The Pulverer Collection Online Catalogue.

Action references!! Real Action Pose Collection 02 (focuses on sword fights) and my favourite Samurai & Ninja Action Scene Collection. Not used as much in Long Limbs, but was helpful in some of the other chapters. The time frame is really much later than what I need for ideal clothing references, but it’s helpful for things like movement.

Kekkaishi volume 32. SPOILER a key flashback takes place about 500 years ago, which is actually a few centuries off give or take from but at least it’s closer than the Edo period. I’ve been looking at it for houses, some clothing.

Osamu Tezuka’s Phoenix - Civil War parts 1 and 2. I reference this so much while working on North Bound in general. It has scenes with peasants and commoners and some appropriate street and interior environments, not just stuff focused on the aristocracy or warrior classes. Just have to remember that they flipped all the artwork in the English version lol

Bunch of Yu Yu Hakusho manga and anime references from the end of the series, mostly for Raizen, the kudakusushi and just to check against things he or Hokushin said. The actual clothing and environments are not helpful at all lol

Last minute edits

After I posted, I discovered a few mistakes (of course). I used to freak out a lot and drop everything to fix it. Now I just sigh and laugh (and still freak out a little bit, depending on the mistake) and then decide what’s important enough to fix and what is like, “Oh well, whatever, move on with my life”.

I feel that seeing other artists share their frustrations and mistakes helps a lot of people feel better about it when they realize IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME TO EVERYONE (including professionals. There are errors like this in professionally published series, like Yu Yu Hakusho, too). YOU’RE NOT ALONE.

So, these ones bugged me enough that I quickly redrew them on the computer.

#yu yu hakusho #comics #fanart #hokushin #process #wip #art supplies #sketches #art by Maiji/Mary Huang #yyh north bound #raizen

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goodguyjean · 7 years

Text

Holy Mother: The Theme of Season 2?

Just some thoughts from me on Episode 26 of Attack on Titan. Hiding it under a read more for spoiler reasons :)

Edit: @obsessedmuch has provided a translation of the scene discussed in this post here. Apparently the dialogue in the anime is the same as the dialogue in the manga and the anime translation is more accurate! Thanks for the translation! I think it’s so odd that the manga’s English translation is so misleading: the anime’s translation, as this post discusses, is much more thematically appropriate! I still like that they moved this scene with Carla forward to give the theme of responsibility more prominances throughout the arc :)

A Madonna with roses in her hair, from the new opening. Probably symbolizing Eren’s mother and the protective power of Wall Rose, which the characters believe has been breached.

Hello! So, I’m still processing the new episode and trying to wrap my head around the fact that there are new episodes, but I noticed a small change that I thought was interesting and I think it foregrounds the theme of the season that Isayama alluded to in an interview, so I’ll throw it out there :) [And then I’ll go back to pondering what’s up with that floating space whale in the opening lol . . .]

The animators moved the flashback scene where Eren’s mom speaks to him about protecting Mikasa from the end of the arc (where it directly proceeds the events of chapter 50) to the beginning of the arc. This makes sense to me, especially since the season is only going to cover this arc: they’re foreshadowing the climax, where Eren discovers that he possesses the coordinate while attempting to protect Mikasa from the titan who ate his mother (and was, we learn later, his father’s first wife . . .). I also noticed, however, that the dialogue of the flashback has changed slightly, in a way that I approve of, actually. Since I don’t know Japanese I can’t say for certain how much this change in the English actually reflects a substantial/important difference in the Japanese, but it did ping my radar so here you go, lol.

In chapter fifty, Eren’s mother’s message is pretty straight forward: you shouldn’t pick as many fights and you shouldn’t need Mikasa to protect you because you’re a boy. In fact, Eren should be protecting Mikasa instead.

I grabbed the screen caps for the anime so you can see the slight change to the dialogue here:

Episode 26.

I think it’s interesting that the charge to “be a man” has changed from “protecting” a woman to “showing restraint” and that (from the new dialogue) showing restraint and avoiding fights is toted as a way to put Mikasa first. Eren’s recklessness drags Mikasa into scrapes more often than not, in both the manga and the anime. I think it’s clearer in the anime’s rendition of this scene that the “manly” thing for Eren to do in these situations is not just to protect Mikasa (since she can do that herself) but to not put himself and others at risk and force her to get involved. The scene in the manga has always miffed me a little bit because it implies that Eren is emasculated by needing Mikasa to protect him, whereas in the anime Carla’s admonishment to behave like a man seems more like she’s asking him to take responsibility for himself and others--not to prove his masculinity by protecting Mikasa but to think of how his actions affect other people. This message of considering others before acting is more in line with advice that Jean (somewhat ironically, considering how self-interested he’s supposed to be) also gives Eren (some of which was cut out of the original anime):

Chapter 3. This scene is missing from the original anime.

Chapter 72.

I think moving this flashback earlier in the arc also foregrounds a message that becomes important later in the series: you have to think before you charge into dangerous situations or pick fights because your actions can accidentally hurt bystanders or go beyond what is necessary. One of the questions the manga asks a lot (particularly in the Uprising arc) is whether the ends really do justify the means. Altering Carla’s advice and putting it earlier in the story foregrounds this theme for this arc in particular. I believe this may be the more obvious “theme” that Isayama was referring to in his most recent interview, where he said that the animators wanted to bind the arc together with a clear message. We can also see this theme being established in this scene below, where Hitch questions if the Survey Corps was right in luring the Female Titan into Stohess when so many civilians died:

Episode 26.

Some of the maternal imagery also looks forward to later scenes where Carla affirms Eren’s humanity, even if he never amounts to being anything special--which feeds into the overall message that human life is valuable in and of itself and should not necessarily be wasted in pursuit of causes.

Chapter 71. The Madonna sculpture above definitely reminded me of this scene.

So, all in all, I liked what they did with the scene, I like that they’re looking ahead to other important points/themes in the narrative, and I’m excited for more of season 2! :)

#snk anime #season 2 #snk anime spoilers #snk manga spoilers #carla jaeger #eren jaeger #ahhhhh feels #mikasa ackerman #snk meta #snk analysis

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