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dekusleftsock · 1 year

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Okay okay, I said I would talk about my theories on Ochako’s feelings for Toga, but most of it is based on simple parallels between bkdk.

Lets start with Katsuki Bakugou: Rising.

I can hear you saying, “Oh but Ochako hasn’t sacrificed herself for Toga/the other way around”. Correction, they haven’t done it yet.

What do I mean by this? Well, let’s look at a more closely relating parallel in the newest chapter.

These two panels align just, so well. TOO WELL, in my opinion. Too well to ignore.

Honestly I could see an Uraraka Ochako: Rising in some way. Some sort of apology for not seeing her as human; to show that she does genuinely care about toga. How she couldn’t stop thinking about her.

And yes, I’m well aware of Toga’s genuine acts of violence and Uraraka’s justified view of her at the time. I’m not saying she’s a bad person, but I’m saying that she isn’t a perfect person in this situation either. Even in this chapter, Toga was not seen as a “full on villain” until this rejection.

Hell, she’s just following orders now because she thinks that will be her only purpose from here on out. Ochako and Toga need to prove their worth to each other, because if they don’t then they will never even accept themselves.

Ochako is like (and I couldn’t put this as well as angy-grr has), a weird hybrid between Izuku and Katsuki. She has Izuku’s martyr complex and Katsuki’s determination to win. They are both her biggest assets and weaknesses. Weaknesses that have been exploited, assets that she’s learned to be a better person.

And god, all for one is watchful. I’m sure at one point or another he’s going to use their love of each other against the other in some way, like keeping Toga to stay in line and keep fighting, or for Ochako to sacrifice/hurt herself in order to save a villain. It’s a double edged sword, they either have to literally refuse to express their feelings or hurt themself to do so.

And, while I do dislike Twice’s death, (bc it makes me sad not narrative reasons) it had so much purpose in Toga’s arc. It makes her have to question the ideas of death as valuable or not, is life valuable or not, and does she truly want to hurt the ones she loves, or does she just want to express the way that she’s been treated all her life?

Like, okay yes, Toga partly acts the way she does because of her quirk. But god dammit, it’s also because she’s expressing her trauma. On other people. She can kill whoever she wants, whenever she wants, because she loves them SO MUCH! Because, even though she hates her parents, that’s how they “expressed” their care and love for her.

That’s what this scene was referencing. She views love as something she’s willing to let destroy her. Love is destruction, and if it’s not her then it’s the other person. She wants love to be tangible, yet out of reach. Like Sato or Izuku.

So when her first true experience with love, familial love with twice, it leaves this question:

Because this, THIS MOMENT, is a lasts act of desperation. To find love without violence.

Just because toga seeks out violence for love, does NOT MEAN that she actually WANTS it. Unhealthy behaviors don’t just happen. Horikoshi is very much pushing nurture over nature throughout the story, so I feel like we focus too much on Toga’s quirk and the consequences to it, and not WHY there’s consequences in the first place.

You don’t just grow up and decide “I like when the people I love are bloody and beaten”. No, that’s caused by a deeper issue, one usually because of an innate experience.

Yes her eating the bird as a child was supposed to show that she had an attraction to blood, I know that, but we are also dismissing this the same as the heroes (like ochako) have throughout the story. “She was such a good kid until her quirk made her commit such violence!” THATS the storyline the news pushes.

And then when the reporter comments on it, she says that it is due to a society that actively suppresses quirks. Quirks, quirks, quirks. Who’s entire identity also surrounded the fact that he had a strong, flashy quirk that made him worth something?

And tell me, if Katsuki’s quirk truly was apart of his anger issues and general “explosive personality”, then why does he lose it the more he uses self introspection? Why does the explosive energy slowly descend into something more of a mask? If Ochako was bubbly because her quirk was cute and made her float, then for the love of god, why does she get more serious?

We have ignored this repeatedly as a fandom. Quirks are nature, isn’t that stated by people who are actively suppressive? Like Toga’s parents? Like AFO?

Toga isn’t violent because of her quirk, she’s violent because it was the only way the people who cared about her expressed love. For the love of god, Sato was literally in a fight when she fell in love with him. And Ochako, our amazing girlboss who’s changing the world, has finally put the pieces together.

Quirks aren’t nature.

And the fact of the matter is, you don’t come to that conclusion without a deep understanding and care for another person. You don’t see past that “nature” they’ve been taught. From Aizawa, to Mitsuki, to Izuku Midoriya.

Hell, Uraraka thought Katsuki was just that stubborn! That there was no changing that! And yet, and yet, Izuku fucking came anyway. He came and he made kirishima take his hand because of WHAT OCHAKO SAID!

THIS is what Ochako’s character has been leading up to. Because she loves toga, and she doesn’t want to let her go. You don’t just, start wanting to save someone you see as irredeemable. That you don’t care about.

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kirikinni · 4 years

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Kill Someone For You | bkdk

Summary: The hero world isn’t as spotless as they make it seem and Izuku Midoriya learns this reality just before he’s supposed to make his way to UA high but old habits die hard and there’s only so much of himself Izuku can kill off.

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Izuku Midoriya

Word Count: 4k

Themes: vil!deku, izuku always returns to katsuki, katsuki soft boy, angst

Warning: blood, mention of murder, mention of suicide

“Once you get used to it, it’ll be easier.” That was always his mother’s advice, whether it came to riding his bike or controlling his quirk. Keep trying, keep pushing, it’ll become easier with time and that’s exactly what he did.

The first time was difficult, too difficult, there was too much of a mess, he threw up afterwards and couldn’t sleep for days on end. The second and third time wasn’t much better, in fact it didn’t get any easier until around the tenth time.

When he did it in one clean swipe that cut through all the necessary arteries it was easier, the blood that fell back on his face didn’t feel dirty or wrong, his stomach didn’t immediately flip. His comrades waited to see whether they would have to suffer through another vomiting session but to their surprise a smile shone against white skin.

Finally, finally it was easy. It was fun. Finally he had control of the knife.

Izuku Midoriya lost his mother a few weeks before he was set to go to Yuei High School for Heroes, she was stuck in a fire but the heroes decided it was more important to catch the villains than help the poor lady stuck in the elevator. She burnt to death, alone and screaming for her until the flames charred her vocal chords. Izuku didn’t even have a body to bury. He watched them bury an empty casket, stood next to the Bakugou’s as they lowered the casket and listened to all the crying that surrounded him.

He was glad that it was raining that day. Izuku wasn’t sure why he couldn’t cry, why he didn’t but he knew one thing. He wouldn’t be going to Yuei, his love for heroes, his admiration to the special class of society had been buried along with his mothers casket. He declined the invitations to stay with the Bakugou’s that night, said he wanted to be next to his mother. Told Mistuki he would be over the next day, promised her that he would be okay and he would call Kachaan if anything happened. She let him go with a kiss to the forehead and a packed box of food. Katsuki hugged for the first time, told him that they would avenge her death together and called him a nerd for good measure.

Izuku smiled, grateful for them. He always knew Kachaan liked him, even if he didn’t show it. Izuku laid in his mothers bed for a few hours, he laid there and counted the cracks in the ceiling, they seemed to extend and crawl across the cement the longer he stared. He wondered if he was going crazy or maybe his quirk was making him see things. Whatever the case he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the ceiling cracks until the bell rang. Izuku dragged himself off the bed and to the door.

“Hello, I have a package for Inko Midoriya. Is she here?”

“No, she’s dead. Thank you.”

Izuku carried the package inside, closing the door behind him leaving a very confused and a little scared delivery man on the other side. He sat on the floor and opened the packaging careful not to rip it, Inko didn’t like it when he was messy or impatient. It was a green onesie, Izuku smiled. They didn’t have much but his mother tried her best, she was better than those cowards who left her to burn, she deserved better.

The next thing Izuku knew he was sitting on his knees in an alleyway, soaked through to his bones, his cheeks had sunken in too far. He didn’t look much like himself anymore but it didn’t really matter, he didn’t feel much like himself either. Izuku stumbled into a bar that day, the back exit left open seemed like an invitation. The warmth inside and the soft smell of roasted nuts made his body react against his minds warnings. Izuku stepped through the door and well the rest became just details.

The League of Villains took him in, he formed a new identity, tried to help them form a better plan to attack the school, he supplied Shigaraki with his ID that was already delivered to him so he could sneak into the school. Izuku used his quirk to help hide the location of their hideout while Kurogiri snuck them in and out of USJ, Izuku became important or at least he thought he did. He mistook Shigaraki wanting his useful quirk for Shigaraki caring about him and that painful truth came to light when they met with a particular villain who would only join the LOV if they promised to help her kill a certain student from UA academy.

There were many things Izuku Midoriya turned away from, he didn’t really care much about the heroes in training, the pro heroes who suffered at the hands of the LOV. Midoriya didn’t care much about the actions and crimes they committed anymore but there was one thing he simply couldn’t excuse, one person he cared about too much, one life he refused to endanger.

There was one person he would never give up on, one he knew would become a real hero. Someone who would save people, someone who would always win and no one could hurt him, no one was allowed to hurt him so when some lowlife bank robber demanded the boys head on a stick all Midoriya could do was twist her neck so far it snapped. He felt warm liquid splash across his face, he tried to wipe it away but really only managed to smudge it across his face.

“What the fuck Midoriya?”

“She can’t touch him.”

“She was valuable.”

“I don’t give a fuck he’s off limits.”

That made Shigaraki mad, he was in charge. He was the boss but this little kid was standing here in his face telling him who he could and couldn’t kill, this kid who he took in from the goodness of his heart and taught how to kill was defying him. That was the last Midoriya saw of Shigaraki or The League because one minute Shigaraki’s hand was aimed for his face ready to kill him and the next he was stumbling through a portal.

He fell onto the pavement in an alleyway on his hands and knees, he looked around disoriented the familiar buzzing of Kurogiri’s portals in his ears. He had been saved, he had been given a chance to run, to save himself but all he wanted to do was crawl back to The League and beg their forgiveness. He sat there, knees folded into himself letting free tears fall as he felt the loss of a home for the second time. He knew he couldn’t go back now, it was much too late for him. Shigaraki doesn’t forgive insubordination, he had seen it before, he knew how it worked and he knew he was alone again.

Midoriya sat there for hours as he watched the sun set and the sky become blanketed in a darkness that hid everything from view. He crawled out for behind the slab of concrete he was hiding and stared out into the street, there were people walking around, moving along to the background tracks of the city night but he couldn’t see their faces. He could still move, if he wanted to move he would have to do it under the night. He was a wanted criminal, his face was on a different edition of every newspaper at least once a week, there were warrants out for his arrest and rewards promised for any information so if he wanted to move he would need to use the night.

Izuku pulled his hood over his head and walked out of the alleyway, stayed close to the wall and kept his eyes and ears pealed for sirens or the unmistakable sounds of heroes announcing their arrival. He kept walking, hands shoved deep in his pockets, he was seventeen years old and alone for the second time. Midoriya scoffed at how pathetic the situation was, how pathetic he was to keep jumping from temporary situations to another. He didn’t know where he was going, for the second time in his life he let his feet lead him to wherever they wanted to go. He didn’t think about where he was going until he recognized the cracks on the pavement and the pink roses that grew in full bloom next to a large tree that had seen him grow.

“Kachaan.”

Of course his feet would lead him here, of course with nothing else to do and nowhere else to go he would find his way right back to Katsuki Bakugou’s home. He wondered what he would say, what would his Kachaan say if he saw him, would he scream at him? Call the cops or try to fight and subdue him all on his own. Whatever he did Midoriya realized he wanted nothing more than to find out so he followed his feet again right up to the front steps of his house and rang the bell. Only later did he realize how week the plan was, his mom could have opened the door, his parents could’ve been at home, hell so many things could happen but these thoughts were nonexistent as Midoriya listened to the heavy footsteps approach the door.

He chuckled to himself at the cursing that came through the door, swearing he would kill whoever disturbed his sleep. Katsuki opened the door, sneer painted on his eyes and red eyes set ablaze ready to threaten whoever was on the other side until he saw who it was that it.

The minute Katsuki’s red eyes connected with Izuku’s green the fire drowned out. It was drenched with the water that pooled in Izuku’s eyes. Katsuki took approximately thirty seconds to take in the person standing in front of him, the same green bouncy curls and carefully position freckles as if they were drawn on. The same shining eyes and slightly tanned complexion, he was the same except older and taller, but the same. It took Katsuki thirty seconds to pull Izuku into himself and wrap his arms around the other in a hug.

Midoriya was stunned into silence, he had expected all kinds of violent and angry reactions, he had fully expected to be pushed to the ground, a blast of fire poised at his face but not this. Not strong hands wrapped around his body holding onto him as though he was a lifeline but it came to an end, eventually he let go and stepped back.

“Deku?”

“H-hi Kachaan.”

A few more seconds passed and it was like something dawned on Katsuki as his face changed, a sneer took over the surprise and hatred, pure unaltered hatred seeped into his expressions.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“I-”

“You here with your new fucking friends? The fucking leage of villain deku? Are you fucking insane? Are they here with you huh? Ill blast them to bits, I’ll fucking kill you.”

“N-no Kachaan they’re not here I’m not…”

“You’re not what? You’re not a fucking criminal? You’re not the one who helped organize the attack on my class? You’re not the piece of shit liar who promised we would be the best heroes? You’re not fucking what Deku?” He demanded, his hands folded across his chest. The crack in his voice didn’t go unnoticed, if Midoriya had the guts to look up the tears glistening in Bakugou’s eyes would have been more than enough proof that what he felt was betrayal.

“Kachaan I couldn’t not after mom, I just couldn’t” he said, his hands grasping each other tight. Midoriya didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know why he was here or what he wanted Katsuki to do.

“Fuck you Deku. What do you want? You’re on the fucking news you piece of shit, they’re looking for you. Your new friends they sold you out, offered up information about you. You’ve always been a fucking idiot, never knew how to pick friends-”

“I did it for you.”

“Excuse me?”

“They kicked me out because I wouldn’t let them hurt you.”

The only sounds they could hear were the sounds of the crickets and the wind rustling in the trees. Katsuki looked at him, really looked at him and saw the thinness of his face and how his cheeks where sunken in. The darkened bags under his eyes and the scars on his hands and neck. He saw the blood smudged across the third freckle from the nose on the right, his favorite freckle on Izuku and took a deep breath. Katsuki really looked at Izuku for a few seconds before pulling him inside and closing the door.

“Stay.”

Katsuki disappeared into the house Izuku had spent so much of his childhood in, he kept his hands tied in front of him, all the charisma and confidence he had built working as a villain melting away as he stood near the doorframe too afraid to lean against it. Izuku didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t know if Katsuki was going to call the cops and turn him in or kill him all on his own. He didn’t know what was going to happen and it didn’t sit well with him but when Katsuki came back with a towel draped over his shoulder and a box of pills he was left stunned for a second time.

“Come here nerd.” He said and turned around again and walked into the guest washroom.

Izuku stared for a second before following him into the washroom. “Sit.” Izuku obeyed and sat down on the closed toilet and watched as Katsuki filled up a small bucket with water and set it down next to him. He bent down on his knees, coming to face level with Izuku. He was too close, too close for comfort and Izuku felt his breath get caught in his throat when they locked eyes.

Katsuki was the first to look away, he dunked the towel in the bucket and brought it to Izuku’s face. One hand holding his jaw in place, rough calloused hands that had been burnt over and over against Izuku’s skin. His hands, hands that Izuku always knew to be rude and violent where soft on his face as he wiped the blood away.

“Why?”

“Hm?” Izuku wasn’t paying attention, he was too busy being hyper focused on the lack of distance between the two of them, on the way Katsuki’s breathing fell on his nose and brushed past his lips, on how his fingers caught on his skin and the way his hips kept knocking against Izuku’s knees. Izuku was so focused on Katsuki that he forgot to actually pay attention to what he was saying.

“Why did you protect me?”

“You’re Kachaan…” Izuku said, as if that was the only answer necessary. It seemed obvious enough to Izuku, of course he would protect Kachaan. He would always protect Kachaan, he was his best friend, his favorite person, the only person he believed could save the hero world. Of course he would protect Kachaan.

“That’s not enough Deku, you left. You fucking ran away after Aunties- after she passed and the next thing I see is your face on the news along with fucking Shigaraki and Kurogiri. What the fuck was I supposed to do Deku?” He asked, his voice tight with pain and betrayal. He refused to look at Izuku, refused to meet his eyes.

“I- Kachaan I don’t…”

“No shitty nerd let me finish. Why the fuck would you protect me after all of that, why did you leave me?” He finally asked, looking up from the bucket. There were tears glistening in Katsuki’s eyes as he finally looked Izuku in the eyes.

“I didn’t have anything left Kachaan, she was gone, I didn’t no I couldn’t go to UA. Be around those heroes, hear their stories and pretend like I respected them. Fuck Kachaan I couldn’t be around all of them again.” He said, forcing himself to keep Katsuki’s gaze. His hand raised to grip Katsuki’s trying to steady himself.

“You had me. You always fucking had me Deku, even if everything else went to shit you always fucking had me but you left. You didn’t even try to talk to me, didn’t even stop for a second to think that you could have stayed with me. I would have fucking helped you Izuku, I could’ve helped you.”

“I- Kachaan… I'm sorry.” Izuku didn’t know what else to say, he didn’t know what to do anymore. He didn’t know why he came or what he wanted but he didn’t want to leave. He needed to feel Katsuki’s warm hands against his skin, he needed to hear his voice even if it was just to insult him or reprimand him. He needed Katsuki.

“Stand up.” Katsuki said and stepped back all too soon, Izuku nearly gasped aloud at the sudden coldness, nearly. He washed the cloth and hung it up to dry, washed the bucket and kept it flipped over on the counter, washed his hands and dried them on his pants. “You need to eat.”

He didn’t say much else but Izuku rose and followed him, followed him to the kitchen and stood behind him like an injured animal waiting to be saved or put down. He didn’t know and he hated it, he hated not knowing so he waited and he chewed on his lip and he dug his nails deep into his palms.

Katsuki slid a plate towards Izuku, it was simple, just a piece of bread and some meat that had been made into a gravy. Leftovers from dinner. Katsuki leaned on the counter so he was eye level with Izuku, red eyes bore into green until he couldn’t take it anymore. Izuku looked away first.

“What did you do?”

“What?”

“What did you do for them to kick you out?”

“I- I told you Kachaan I told them they couldn’t hurt you.”

“No. You had blood on your face shitstain. You did something now tell me what it fucking was.”

“Kachaan I don’t-”

“Don’t fucking lie to me Deku, tell me what you did or god help me I’ll call the cops right now. You’re still a fucking villain, I’ll turn you in and collect whatever fucking honor they wanna bestow on me.” Katsuki stopped and grabbed Izuku’s chin, forcing him to look at the blonde, “Now. Tell. Me.” He said, every word settling into Izuku like a new bullet.

“I killed someone for you.” He whispered, his lips barely open, the words barely even left his mouth and he knew he had messed up when the grip on his chin tightened.

“Louder.”

“I killed someone.” He said, finally, finally raising his eyes to meet Katsuki’s, “I killed someone for you.”

Katsuki stepped back, almost fell over his own feet and pressed his back against the refrigerator. Fear passed over his face as he stared at Izuku, poor defenseless Izuku who need Katsuki to hold his hand when they crossed the street, crybaby Izuku who cried when his ball rolled onto the street and a car popped it, stupid Izuku who hung onto Katsuki’s coattails despite being kicked to the ground over a hundred times.

“I killed someone for you.” The words echoed in his mind, Izuku’s voice on repeat as he heard it again and again. It was like it was his fault, he was the one who did it, the blood was on his hands, smeared on his face and the knife was tucked away in his pockets not the other way around.

Izuku got up and walked around the counter, he stood a few steps away from Katsuki like he was afraid to scare him. “Kachaan…” he whispered like nothing had changed, nothing was different. There where no confessions, no blood stains covering Katsuki’s favorite freckle, nothing, only Kachaan and Deku and a sandbox between them. “Kachaan I had to.” Katsuki shook his head, he didn’t want to hear anymore, didn’t want to be here anymore, he wanted to be in the sandbox again. He understood the sandbox, he understood stupid crybaby deku and powerful superhero Kachaan, he wanted the sandbox. “Kachaan she was going to kill you, I couldn’t let her hurt you. I did it for you, always for you.” He was still speaking but Katsuki had closed his eyes, he wasn’t here, he wasn’t in the kitchen, he was seven years old and he was trying to make a castle with the wet sand in the sandbox and Izuku was getting more water to help.

Izuku stepped closer, he reached out and took Katsuki’s hands in his own. He held the trembling palms tight, trying to calm them down, trying to draw out the panic and replace it with peace, with understanding. “Kachaan please don’t be afraid, I’d never hurt you. You’re my favorite person, my best friend. I’d never hurt you, I just couldn’t let them hurt you. Never you.” He spoke again, merely a breath away from the blonde, “Katsuki I love you, I would never hurt you.” He spoke, finally connecting the space between them.

Izuku kissed him, he kissed him slowly but before he could move away Katsuki kissed him back. His lips moved in time with Izuku’s and his hands wrapped around green locks, holding on tight with so much desperation, so much want and longing that Izuku could do nothing but cling onto his shirt. Izuku pushed him back against the fridge as the kiss deepened, his tongue finding it’s way inside Katsuki’s mouth, he felt his cheeks become wet but he wasn’t crying, no this time it was Katsuki. Hot tears fell from Katsuki’s eyes and the salt mixed with their exchange of saliva. Before Izuku knew it Katsuki was begging him, as much as he could without separating their bodies he was begging Izuku to stay, begging him to tell him that it was a lie, it was a joke. Begging Izuku to just be okay and all of a sudden he knew what he had to do. Izuku brought his hands up to Katsuki’s neck, caressed it slowly, letting his finger tips drape over the curves and edges and bumps. He felt Katsuki whine into the kiss but he couldn’t give in, not now. Izuku explored his neck with his fingers, eyes closed, he was feeling around in the dark on a terrain that was so familiar to him but so foreign until he found it.

“I’m sorry Kachaan.” He whispered and pressed down.

He felt Katsuki gasp at the pressure. He saw his eyes fly open at the realization and saw betrayal, hurt, anger, everything flashed by in a matter of seconds and then Katsuki Bakugou was a lump on the floor. Izuku bent down and stuck a hand under his nose to check his breathing, everything was okay, he was only unconscious, he would awake in a few hours. Izuku bent down and brushed away the hair from his forehead, he smiled at Katsuki’s peaceful face. Empty of any worry or fear, he bent down and placed a soft kiss against his forehead.

“I love you, I’m sorry.”

Those where the last words Izuku Midoriya said to Katsuki Bakugou. The next morning Katsuki woke up in his bed, he looked around, sat up and felt a stinging pain in his neck. He brought his hand up to it and felt the knot that had grown and his thoughts flashed back to the night before. A strange dream, that was all it was. A strange dream and a bad sleeping position. When he finally made his way downstairs his parents were seated in front of the television, holding hands, silent.

“Oi! Why are you so quiet? Fuckin weird.” He called out, muttering the last bit under his breath.

“Katsuki.” His mother whispered, turning around at his voice. It scared him, his mother never whispered. She screamed, she yelled and she shouted, never whispered.

“Whats going on?” He asked, his voice smaller than usual, much more unsure than usual. His neck was hurting again, he pressed a palm to the aching knot as he stared at his mothers teary eyes.

“Katsuki come here.” His father called, trying his best to keep his voice steady. His eyes where glistening as well.

“No. Tell me what the hell is going on and why you two old bags are crying like little kids.” His heart was pounding in his chest, Katsuki’s lips felt strange. They felt empty, like something was missing and while he glared at his parents he couldn’t help the panic that had started to build in his throat.

“Izuku…” his mother finally said, nothing more than a ghost of a whisper but it was more than enough. In the quiet of the house the name carried across and landed on Katsuki’s ears. He turned his attention to the TV and finally saw it. The footage of paramedics carrying out a stretcher with a blanket covering it.

“Villain Deku, original name Izuku Midoriya, found near Rising Star Apartment Complex in Musutafa City. Officials say he jumped from the terrace of building two, dying on impact. The villain was only fifteen-“

The rest of the reporter was drowned out by Katsuki’s screams. The entire neighborhood heard and the entire neighborhood knew that the angry blonde in house four had learned that his little green haired best friend had killed himself.

I mean this ain’t the first time i’m posting my writing obvi but it is the first time im posting mha here so ofc it had to be angst. pls give me bnha friends okay thank you love you

#bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x deku #bakudeku #bkdk #bkdk angst #angst #izuku midoriya #bnha #mha #my hero academia #izuku midoriya angst #deku angst #villain deku

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ariadcalfine · 4 years

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About EndHawks and DabiHawks - and other BNHA ramblings

Heeeeeyy

The lockdown/quarantine due to coronavirus had given me time to rewatch HQ seasons 1 to 3, as well as to fully catch up on BNHA. I stopped watching the anime at season 2... episode 15 I think? When Deku started his internship at Gran Torino’s place? At that time, that was the latest episode available. And after watching that episode, I went on to read the manga... the latest released chapter at that time might have been Bakugou’s kidnapping. Anyways, now I had finished watching season 4, and read the latest released manga chapter of 271.

In the early days of BNHA, my favourite character was (and I think still is) Todoroki Shouto. Because he’s an ikemen, surely (laughs) but also because I’ve always found the Todoroki family drama somewhat more interesting than the fighting against LOV. I’m glad that the plot is getting more intricate - that LOV isn’t a one-dimensional antagonist and the story goes deeper on things fundamentally wrong in BNHA’s setting (be it morally grey HPSC, ranking heroes and treating them like celebrities, discrimination on villain-like quirks or quirklessness, and so on) - but the Todoroki family drama still holds a bright candle in my heart. So of course I fully jumped into the ship that was ‘Dabi is Todoroki Touya’ theory.

Even when I wasn’t watching canon BNHA, I still stayed in the fringes of the fandom. I saw it shifted from ‘TodoDeku is life!’ to ‘BakuDeku for the win!’ and kinda got on board with BKDK even. Still finds TDDK sweet and fluffy and such a balm to the kokoro, but the dynamism of BKDK endears me too. The fandom also had a way of portraying Kacchan as less of a jerk and more a Tsundere Pomeranian. As the manga went along, glad that Kacchan is shown to have a depth of emotions but was misguided and could not really express himself well.

MOVING ON to Hawks. I like his character design, and seriously Kadeart’s Hawks as well as other fanartists’ drawings of Hawks just made me love the guy more. Casting Yuuichi Nakamura was just... pure gold. Perfect fit for ‘secretly intelligent lazy boy’ too-cool-for-school persona. Just... Kuroo Tetsurou all over again.

When I was watching the end of S4, of course I noticed Hawks was a huge Endeavor fan, and in my mind I thought, ‘uh-oh, the fandom is sure gonna ship that...’ with some queasiness. Sure enough, the fandom does. I notice in particular the Japanese fandom is more on board. There are only 4 DabiHawks doujinshi titles in Toranoana today but 36 EndHawks titles. #荼毘ホー (DabiHawks) tag in Pixiv also only yielded 2 pages of search results, compared to 7 pages of #炎ホー (EndHawks) tag. The Japanese fandom has a history of being more accepting of a ship with big age difference - case in point, ReigenMob / MobReigen from MP100 (Western fandom is more comfortable with SeriRei).

Daddy kink doesn’t really appeal all that much to me. And I admit the size difference is hot, but InaShou fulfills the kink better in my opinion. However, age difference is not really the source of my queasiness.

It’s Endeavor’s history of domestic abuse.

I love a good Endeavor-redemption fic. The two that I’m following now are:

1) The Return Of Superman by kummibear

2) Where your love has always been enough (for me) by classicequinox

I suppose I’ll feel more at ease with EndHawks only after Endeavor fully makes amends for his wrongdoings and goes public with them. Whether he has to serve time or can just pay damages doesn’t really matter to me. Only after he has closure with Rei, Natsuo, Shouto and Touya (if he’s Dabi), can he move on to a relationship with Hawks. It’s only fair for Hawks as well.

Sure, Dabi is a villain that canonically has kidnapped a teenager and killed people by burning them. He is not a good person. But 1) I don’t think he’s mentally all that sane, 2) his crimes are public knowledge and if he’s caught, he will have to serve time (either in Tartarus or maximum security rehab facility). Why I need Endeavor to go public with his abuse is because right now the populace doesn’t really know about the abuse and Endeavor continues to be lauded as Number 1 Hero. That doesn’t sit right with me.

I also don’t really like fics where Dabi is being rough or abusive to Hawks. I prefer HawksDabi to DabiHawks, actually. I don’t like fics where Hawks is uke-fied because the HPSC abused him too much. Both Touya and Hawks are victims of abuse, true... but they deserve to be portrayed as complex human beings who are strong enough.

I’m guilty of viewing ‘bad guy’ character in a sympathetic light because I want an antagonist character to turn good (case in point, Harry Potter’s Draco Malfoy; HPDM is my OTP). Besides, if Endeavor deserves a redemption arc, why not Dabi?

(Erm, Shigaraki and AFO are another matter tho. It’s like... nobody quite expects Voldemort to be redeemed.)

All of the above being said, I don’t think I will invest time in reading a good, healthy slow-burn EndHawks. It’s just not my OTP. Of course, I will not crash EndHawks’ fanfics or fanarts just to say EndHawks is ‘bad’ or ‘disgusting’.

Shipping has always been: to each, his own. Let’s just stay out of each other’s way and have polite communication if we do cross path.

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mysterylover123 · 5 years

Text

BNHA Rewatch Episode 21 “Battle On Challengers”

mysterylover123

Now let’s get through all the Beta matches in a single swoop.

Kaminari vs Shiozaki! This starts the trend this episode of male participants either underestimating girls and getting their butt kicked, or fighting all out against them and winning. Setup for a certain famous scene in the next ep maybe?

Kamui Woods is impressed. (Please tell me Ibara interns with him!)

Izuku is muttering and taking notes. I love how his muttering just hits Bakugou in the side of the head and annoys everyone and creeps out Uraraka even a little.

Deku reveals he’s been stalking Uraraka too. She fangirls over him for a minute, which would be charming if it didn’t remind me of future developments I find irritating.

Iida vs Hatsume! I love the crap out of this fight. One of my favorite minor Sports Fest matchups. The way in which Hatsume completely subverts everything we think we’re gonna get from this match, turns it into an exhibition match for her items...it’s so perfect.

Seeing them banter a bit kinda makes me ship Iida/Hatsume, since there is a lot of fun to be had with their contrasting personalities...

Only to be reminded of the One True Iida ship again. An interesting change from the manga here: Manga! Deku notices right away that Uraraka left her drink behind. Anime! Deku doesn’t until two matches later.

Mina vs Aoyama! Like before, the guy underestimating the girl gets him floored. (Iida underestimated Hatsume’s deviousness and it humiliated him; Kaminari underestimated Shiozaki and was instantly beaten). Aoyama assumes he’s more powerful, and drastically underestimates Mina. Hence she wins!

Now the devastating matchup of Momo vs Tokoyami. Basically, this works on 2 levels: One, in the pattern of not underestimating an opponent based on gender. Tokoyami and Bakugou don’t, and they win.

Two, as a part of Momo’s character arc: Prior to this, Momo has always been the best of the best, the cream of the crop; excepting the Obstacle race, where Mineta slowed her down anyway, she came in first in everything. And this gave her a bit of an ego, and a slightly condescending attitude towards those not as smart as her. But this loss, and its subsequent consequences, humble her (too much, initially) and force her to confront her own flaws. Failure is, after all, the way in which we succeed.

Now to Iida and Uraraka in the prep room! I find them very shippable in this scene, because...well, it’s actually kinda rare to see Uraraka being open, and vulnerable, with anyone besides her parents, and later on her teachers. Around most of her peers, she just tries to keep up this veneer of being happy, chill and confident all the time, and usually avoids vulnerability or admitting to fear. But here, in this room with Iida, she admits to it. She’s scared.

Here comes Deku to crash the party. I talked about Deku’s motives in this scene during my rather exhausive analysis of Izuocha, and I think Deku wants badly to pay Uraraka back for all the times she’s helped him (one of his core motivations in general). But she turns him down, denying him the chance to support her on even grounds the way she supports him. I think this bothers him a little - he’s noticeably less close to her after this arc ends.

I have complicated feelings about this choice of Uraraka’s too. First time around, I was absolutely floored by this twist. I was rolling my eyes at her jealousy over Mei, her behavior this ep, and convinced the show was going for a potential romance arc, which I found a little irritating. But then this happened, and Uraraka turned into a surprising character, full of more depth and self-awareness than I expected. I think this was the point where I officially gave up on trying to predict the series, deciding that Horikoshi would just surprise me at every turn.

In hindsight, I think she could’ve still accepted some advice from Deku. After all, Midoriya accepted advice from Ojiro before he fought Shinso. It’s ok - hell, admirable - to learn as much about your opponent as you can. Still, Uraraka’s decision here bugs me a bit from a Romance-with-Deku angle, since she shuts him out of the role of supporter in her life and tries to go it alone, because - as she reveals in the next ep - of her desire to be just like him. Combined with how she frames her choice in the Cavalry battle here as a negative, and I have trouble viewing their relationship in a positive romantic light. It feels like the series is framing Uraraka’s feelings for Midoriya as a bad thing (I’ll touch on this again later) and making her lose herself in her desire to be like him. Which I find worrying from a romance POV.

Uraraka describing them as “all being rivals” is another interesting “what a twist” moment to me, because its a good way to describe the early part of the series. Everyone is fighting everyone. Things are a little chummier now, and I’ll cop to missing that atmosphere of antagonism a little. (If I may get into some shipping positivity tho, I like how she mentions Iida challenging Deku as something that inspired her.)

As our two contestants face each other in the ring, preparing for battle, we end on another brutal cliffhanger.

I like this episode, but it does mostly feel like the waiting rom in between interesting parts. Like the stuff you have to get through to get to the big guns. I do love how it builds into the next ep, though. Every fight is mixed gender (cept Kiri vs Tetsu) and the ep lays out a clear thesis about not underestimating girls. Uraraka’s gonna win it on her own and the buildup to Ep22 is really great.

BKDK CORNER:

Some progress. Bakugou doesn’t tell him to shut up here. He must be fairly used to Deku’s muttering by now. He’s the only one in the crowd it doesn’t phase.

“I don’t think Bakugou would give his explosive all against a female opponent.” “No, he would....no one’s holding back here, Kacchan least of all.” Deku knows his Kacchan. (And respects the crap out of him for this tendency, despite how mean it is.)

BEST GIRL OF THE EPISODE: Yui Kodai

For more info on her: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cUHGKLWgfY

RANKER: Best Sports Fest Matches

5. Iida vs Todoroki

4. Deku vs Shinso

3. Todoroki vs Bakugou

2. Uraraka vs Bakugou

1. Midoriya vs Todoroki

#my hero academia #season 2 episode 8 #battle on challengers #midoriya izuku #iida tenya #uraraka ochako #momo yaoyorozu #katsudeku #bakudeku #i metad a lot about uraraka and momo in this one #i don't get many chances #cause they're featured less than the Main Trio #(deku kacchan and shoto)#but i do find them interesting #and have lots of thoughts on them

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