#enough that even after playing the game for like 2 more years after switching from that weapon it is my highest weapon by ink coverage and

[midnightarsenal]

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬

Summary: A match with Brighton is interrupted by a pitch invader.

Pairing: Arsenal Women x Arsenal!Reader

Warning: Assault | Avoidance | Anxiety | Some Angst

Word Count: 4.6k

Meadow Park, Borehamwood

///

"Y/L/N!" Katie yells from across the pitch and you waste little time in punting the ball over the heads of half a dozen players to her, leading to certified banger of a goal in the seconds that follow and making the score 2-0 in the 61st minute after Caitlin's screamer near the end of the first half. You sprint over to the Irishwoman and launch yourself onto her back, cheering ecstatically as the pair of you are swarmed by the rest of your team.

.....

You had been with the club for over a year now, one of several promising names signed to the Gunners in the summer of 2022, and while you hadn't yet been with the team long enough to cement your place in it as one of its icons, you hadn't needed a lot of time to make plenty of friends among its roster.

Prior to joining Arsenal, you had been Everton's star girl, having played with the Liverpudlian side for over four years before moving to North London in a change that had caused almost as much upset among the Blues fans as it had excitement in the Gooners. It had been a tough decision, but both you and your manager had known that you needed more room to develop your talent and that such room could only be found at a team that regularly fought at the top of the league.

Besides, it had been a far better choice than the alternative of moving to Liverpool. (You still couldn't believe they had been bold enough to even offer.)

Initially, you'd been worried by the prospect of moving both city and club, leaving behind the team you'd grown so close to and entering a new, unknown environment filled with some pretty impressive (and subsequently intimidating) talents. Generally, you were a very confident person and not someone who tended to doubt yourself, but even then, the idea of playing alongside the likes of Miedema and Williamson with reputations known far and wide was a little daunting for a player with a relatively lowkey profile.

But, despite that you had more than proven yourself in your first full season with the club, serving as a reliable forward and netting yourself a handful of goals in the process, even if you weren't a regular in the starting eleven. (You tried not to take it personally given that it was your first season, though your competitive streak made the task a little difficult at times.)

The girls had accepted you with open arms as one of their own, and any reservations you'd had about switching to Arsenal had all but vanished by the time international break had started and you'd gone off the World Cup down under. The teammates on either side of you today were more than just co-workers, they were your friends, and sometimes they even felt like family.

.....

"Alright, you've all done a very good job this half." Jonas starts approvingly as you and the rest of the girls gather round for a brief strategy talk, with Cloé sitting on the pitch not too far away being looked over by the medics. There (probably) isn't anything wrong with her, but it's a good excuse to get a quick chat with the coach in before the game continues. It's the 75th minute and Brighton has been putting on the pressure, propelled forward by an influx of their benched players and possibly some added desperation after Katie's goal.

"Jen, Kyra, Kat, we cannot get complacent now, we need to reassert control over the midfield and lessen the pressure on our defence. Remember, their number 10 loves to make those late runs, so mark her tightly." Your coach continues, his attention turned to the midfielders as he makes quick work of the review while Cloé gets back up to some applause from the crowd and limps towards you and the others, heading for the nearby bench with the team physio and a pair of medics by her side. Already, Lina is taking her jacket off to sub in just behind you.

The chat concludes and the game continues, having only been paused for around a minute and a half as you share a glance with some of the other girls while you all run back onto the pitch with haste. You aren't normally the type to feel as if the result has been decided before the final whistle blows, but you feel confident that you'll be walking away with a win tonight, content with another strong performance.

If only.

It's the 83rd minute when it happens, 8 minutes after your group chat and 7 until the match's conclusion. You're not doing anything when the first signs of a problem arise in the form of distant gasps and disapproving yells from the crowd, you're just standing there with your hands idly on your hips, walking slowly along the pitch and keeping track of the ball as it's passed around in the midfield, a sizable distance from where you are.

You aren't paying attention to what's behind you.

"Y/L/N!" You hear Katie yell again from some ways away, but this time there's something different in her tone that alerts you, there's an urgency in it that's uncharacteristic, one that makes you think something's wrong, and it doesn't take you long to find out what it is.

"Stupid cow!" Is what you hear slurred from behind you before a searing pain suddenly springs forth from the side of your head, the impact of something hard sending you stumbling to the side before you quickly lose your footing and tumble to the ground, the left half of your face hitting the grass with such momentum that it briefly bounces back up before dropping down again.

Your vision blurs for a second or two as you instinctively reach for the sides of your head to cradle it protectively, your legs lifting up until you're just short of a fetal position. You quickly understand that you've been hit by someone and brace for a second attack, one that fortunately doesn't come as you hear sounds of a scuffle nearby.

Your right temple pulses with hurt and you can't help but scrunch your face up, closing and opening your eyes in a rabid blink to try and adjust your sight and shake off the disorientation that has you locked in its grip. For a few moments you lose track of time, wrapped up in your own world of pain before you see someone kneel down in front of you and feel their hands cup over your cheeks, turning your head up to face them.

It's Beth.

"Jesus Christ, you alright?" She asks intensely, her face shaped by a mix of exasperation and concern as you feel someone else's hands slot under your armpits and sit you up, you feel a minor sense of relief at the fact you don't immediately become nauseous at the movement, and the world starts to filter back to high resolution as your disorientation dissipates.

"Yeah.. yeah, I'm alright." You finally find the strength to speak, frowning as you continue to rub at your right temple and look around, trying to get a grip on your surroundings. Your head still hurt, but not quite as bad now and you're sitting up, surrounded on all sides by a wall of red and white football kits, all belonging to women who's gazes were entirely focused on you and who all looked either worried sick, pissed off or both.

Behind them, you could only just see another gathering of bodies that was leaving the pitch. A sea of high-vis jackets, some emblazoned on their backs with 'Security' and others 'Police'.

"Fucking maniac." You hear one of the girls around you say, "How'd they let that happen?" Someone else asks to no one in particular, "Stupid dickhead, should throw him in the sea." A third voice suggests angrily and the accent leaves little room for candidates who's surname isn't McCabe.

You feel some of the girls pat you on the shoulder or rub your back, and Beth takes one of your hands in her own, hands disappearing from your face so they can help you stand up before the wall of Arsenal red parts to let in the team physio and doctor who quickly disapprove of the idea and sit you back down before you've even had the chance to get your bum off the grass.

A light is flashed in each of your eyes, causing you to wince, and you're bombarded with a series of questions that lead you to assume the pair are checking for a concussion. But- after what feels like forever, with the hairs on your skin standing up as you become increasingly aware of what a cold night it is now that the warmth from your exertion during the game has worn off- the two medical professionals get up from their crouched position and carefully help you stand up too.

The crowd cheers for the development and you let out a breath, shaking your head with a small, cynical smile as you were met with looks of sympathy from your teammates. The side of your head still hurt, but it had diminished to the point that you could probably ignore it, though it was still far from comfortable.

"Had to happen to me, eh?" You say to Beth, who can't help but let out a short breathy laugh.

"Maybe he's an Everton fan." Jen proposes and you laugh with a nod. "Left it a bit long, didn't he?" Steph replies with a feigned confusion.

You walk to the bench with the physio, doctor and Beth, with the rest of the team giving you a few more supportive words and pats on the back before heading back to their places on the pitch. It wasn't as if they were going to cancel the game over one rowdy wanker, after all, besides there was less than ten minutes left.

"Are you okay?" Jonas asks as you approach the Arsenal bench and you nod, being brought in for a quick hug before he adds, "That was totally unacceptable. We'll need to address it with the club. Get more security." He sounds angry, and not just with your assailant. You hadn't really had the time to process what had happened given how fast it had all been, but as you sit down at the team bench, receiving another warm reception from the girls there, the ones who'd been playing in the first half, you begin to get where he's coming from. How could that be allowed to happen? What if the guy had a weapon? What if-

"My girl." Your thoughts on what could have happened are interrupted by an unmistakable voice, Leah. Putting that Southern pronunciation on the word 'girl' that you loved so much, but sounding just as worried as everyone else who'd spoken to you did. The blonde wastes little time in leaning down to envelop you in a hug from where you sit, and you return it with a smile, letting out a breath you hadn't known you'd been holding in, and it coming out shaky much to your confusion. You felt fine.

"Good thing you weren't on the pitch, otherwise that prick probably wouldn't have left it." You joke with a small smile as the two of you pull apart and Amanda to your left budges up so Leah can sit down next to you, her brows furrowed in that steep arching frown she liked to do. The match in front of you continues as it had before. Alessia sits on your right, trying to be considerate by not unnecessarily intruding but occasionally giving you a side glance with a smile.

"Honestly, if they hadn't gotten to him first. Fucking wanker." Her blue eyes dart to the side, momentarily looking out to the pitch before returning to you. She reaches out an arm and wraps it over your shoulder, pulling you close, you have no objection, and you can't resist the amused huff of air you let out at the thought of what Leah might have done if she had been there and had two properly working legs.

A small comfortable silence settles between you both until the defender asks, "You alright?" and you nod almost on instinct, giving her a smile. "Yeah. Head hurts a little, but I did just get punched." You joke, but Leah doesn't laugh, or even smile, instead penetrating you with those deep blue eyes. "I know that, dummy, they wouldn't sit you on the bench if you were hurt like that. I meant the other kind of alright."

You shrug and for the first time since you'd seen her, your eyes drift off to the pitch and you shift in your seat. Yeah, you were fine. But, the idea that you might not be didn't sit right with you, or rather, the idea that Leah and by extension the rest of the team might not think you are.

"You mean if I'm all... shaken up? Quaking in my boots?" You retort with some dry wit and a slight smirk, putting some faux dramatism on your words as you glance back to Leah for a moment before returning your eyes to the game. You felt fine, but the question seemed to stir something in you, applying a light pressure to your chest that wasn't there before. You didn't like it.

Leah didn't seem amused and you feel her stare boring into the side of your face, inspecting you almost. "Yeah." Is her short reply, as if she isn't looking to entertain your attempts at humour. As if she takes the incident more seriously than you do.

You shrug again and look over to the blonde with an expression that borders between nonchalance and indifference. "Then yeah, I'm all good in that department too. If fucking Jack Grealish can handle a punch then I think I'll be fine." That one seems to have some effect on Leah's stern, concerned demeanour and she gives a small smile, shaking her head slightly as if reprimanding herself for not knowing better to expect any other kind of answer from you.

But she tightens her arm around you just a bit regardless, pulling you in just a little more than you already were, even as she turns away to face the pitch as the game approaches the final whistle, her eyes lingering on you a little longer. "Alright.. but if that changes, you know I'm here, right?" She asks with a sincerity that makes you a little uncomfortable, partly because you'd always been a little awkward around more heartfelt exchanges of emotions, and partly because.. well you couldn't really figure out that other feeling, but it adds to that small pressure on your chest.

"Yeah, I know." You get out with a firmness, more to reassure the defender that you'd be willing to open up in that sense than anything else. You weren't sure if you ever would, even if your feelings did change. But, you were.. confident that they wouldn't. You felt fine, after all.

The final whistle blows not long after.

.....

The hum of fluorescent lights fill Meadow Park's comparatively humble locker room as the team trickles in, sweaty and exhausted from a relatively hard fought win. There's the usual post-match banter, the teasing, the recounting of the odd tackle and the two winning goals. But there's also a.. tension in the air, an undercurrent of concern and empathy directed toward one player in particular and unfortunately you're all too aware of it.

You take your usual spot by your locker, trying to blend in with the post-game routine as seamlessly as you can. You begin to unlace your boots, your fingers working with a rehearsed, mechanical precision. You didn't like it when people fussed over you, and you always tended to think that their attention was better spent or even better deserved elsewhere. You didn't really like being the centre of attention either, positive or negative. So, sitting here, and knowing that every now and then a different set of eyes would glance over at you, or that every second conversation featured you in some capacity, it wasn't a fun feeling, even if all of it derived from the most kind intentions.

You slip your cleats off and lean back against your locker as you sit in your cubby, looking up at the ceiling and releasing your second shaky breath of the night against your will. That pressure on your chest hasn't gone away and it's beginning to annoy you as you close your eyes and try to relax yourself, feeling oddly tense.

Between the chaos of the initial aftermath, your conversation with Leah and some of the banter you'd tried to get yourself involved with during the short walk to the locker room after their celebration, you hadn't really had the time (or the desire) to really think back to the incident or process it. It'd happened what? Thirty minutes ago? Yet, it already felt significantly longer.

Your hand reaches up absentmindedly to rub at your right temple as images flash one after the other of the experience. You on the ground, Beth kneeling in front of you and those two words that you hadn't even recalled until now. "Stupid cow." You scratch at your temple for a moment and open your eyes, shaking your head for a second or two as if to ward off the memory.

You let out another breath, and while this one isn't quite shaky, your breathing has gotten a little heavier.

Your hands clasp together and your fingers interlock as you idly rub your thumbs up and down the hand opposite to the one they each belong to. That pressure on your chest makes itself known a bit more and you swallow, your eyes surveying the locker room, not quite knowing what you're searching for but compelled to do it all the same. Why would someone do that? Why would a person just run out onto the pitch and hit a player? Hit you?

"Relax." You tell yourself.

It doesn't do much, and you have to put a hand down onto your knee to stop one of your legs from tapping itself up and down. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" You internally ask yourself. You felt fine. You had felt fine five minutes ago. You had felt fine after being punched in the side of the head. Why are you feeling like this now?

You shift in your cubby and take a deep breath (another shaky one, much to your frustration), trying to regain control of yourself. That fucking weight on your chest is still there.

"Y/N." You hear someone- Katie- say nearby, and you curse to yourself. "Yeah?" You ask with a slightly raised brow, trying to remain lowkey as you look to your left to see the forward standing not too far away next to her own cubby, shoving her boots into a large black duffel bag as she stares at you, most of the other girls are still in their own conversations. Thank God.

"You good?" She asks the question that you've become almost annoyingly familiar with in the past half hour and like before you nod impulsively. Though unlike then you're no longer quite so confident in the honesty of that natural response. "Yeah, all good. Why? Am I getting a bruise?" You say in an attempt to be light hearted, giving the brunette a small smile, but she only frowns back, causing you to swallow.

"Nah, just seemed like you were.. thinking 'bout something."

You break your stare and go back to what you're supposed to be doing, getting changed, leaving Katie unsatisfied as you find your own duffel bag next to you and begin putting your cleats into it. You begin to feel a slight burning at the bottom of your throat but try to ignore it, feeling the corners of your lips reactively curl downward even as you busy yourself with getting changed.

"Fucking idiot." You angrily say to yourself on the inside. "Stop being such a baby." You take off your Arsenal shirt and shove it into the bag with an unusual amount of force. That pressure on your chest grows heavier and your breathes with it. You aren't sure why you feel this way and you hate it. You've never felt like this before and you hate it. Why is this happening? You were fine before.

"Y/N." Your name is called again, only this time it's Leah, and she's standing right behind you, causing you to jump just slightly. Your heart beating a little quicker as you'd been facing your locker, back turned to the rest of the team. Katie must have gotten her.

You take your third shaky breath of the evening before responding with a falsely inquisitive, "Yeah?" as if you hadn't a clue what she'd want to talk to you about. You continue to face your locker, opening it up to take out your casualwear to give yourself a valid reason not to turn around.

"You wanna come with me? Need to talk." She says with a nonchalance that is deceptive. Ordinarily, if Leah needed to talk with someone, she wouldn't hesitate in using her regular old sternness to get the importance across. But, right now? Her tone was light and casual and you weren't an idiot. You know that she was treating this like some kind of sensitive situation when it wasn't. You'd gotten punched by some dickhead and that was it, end of story. It probably happened to a thousand people every day in Britain and you were no different.

"Yeah.. just lemme get dressed first." You reply, sliding on your trousers and feigning your own coolness and composure, though not nearly to the same effectiveness as Leah. Your breathing's still heavy and with each passing moment you begin to feel a growing sense of claustrophobia when you'd never suffered from that in the past. You want air. Maybe you need it. But, you can't let that show.

"Mind turning round, Y/N? It's bad manners not to look at someone when they're talking to you."

You won't let it show.

"Look, Leah. If this is about that dickhead again, I told you I'm all good." You retort dismissively, wanting to put the questioning to bed.

That pressure grows heavier.

"Well, I don't think you are."

Your heart beats faster.

"Oh, and what? You're in my head now are you?" Your frustration peaks through the façade.

Why are they still asking you about it?

"No. I just know when my friends aren't okay." Leah's concerned tone fades and she takes on a sterner one, a tough love one.

Why aren't you fine?

"Well you might want to get your radar checked because I'm fucking fine, Leah." Your brows furrow and you almost grit your teeth as that burning sensation creeps further up your throat. You shouldn't have sworn.

The rest of the locker room is becoming quieter.

"Then why won't you look at me?"

Everyone's looking at you.

"Because you're fucking bothering me!" You yell angrily. And if there had been any conversations left in the room, they cease instantly, cloaking the team in a deafening silence.

You swallow and it almost hurts your throat. You blink and your eyes have a wetness in them that wasn't there ten seconds ago. Your chest lifts and falls dramatically and your hands have a light tremor in them.

But, you were fine ten minutes ago.

You feel a pair of hands take you gently by your waist and you presume them to be Leah's, having that presumption confirmed quickly as the defender turns you around slowly to face her. You don't resist, but you feel almost ashamed as you're rotated to face the rest her and the rest of the girls. You can't even look any of them in the eye, with your eyes dropping to the ground and becoming fixated on your feet because it's easier than looking at anything else.

"You're okay, my girl. You're safe." Leah says, her sternness morphing seamlessly into an almost painfully sincere softness and care as you're pulled in slowly for another hug, though your arms hang almost limply by your sides. You don't know what to do, or what to say, but you feel a stinging in your eyes and a pain in your throat that's becoming more pronounced by the second.

You bury your head into Leah's shoulder because you know you're about to cry, and you feel a surge of intense shame at the realization. Your arms reach up and finally wrap themselves around Leah. You know the rest of the girls are watching you, and it's embarrassing, but you don't know what else to do. You don't feel safe.

"I don't know what the fuck's wrong with me." You finally let out into the blonde's shoulder, feeling the first tears roll down your cheeks. "I was okay and then.. this shit just came out of nowhere. I'm sorry."

Leah pulls away from you, but only slightly, one of her hands lifting your chin to level with her as she looks you dead in the eye, while her other hand reaches up to stroke your cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry about, understand? Nothing. No one thinks any less of you for this, Y/N."

You aren't entirely sure if that's true or not, but Leah, being the natural leader that she is, had a way of making people believe things or feel them even if they otherwise wouldn't. And you're not immune to that effect, nodding somewhat hesitantly in agreement, but nodding regardless as you feel that pressure on your chest lighten ever so slightly.

"The pitch should be a safe place for us and that dickhead tried to take it away." You hear Beth speak up, both to you but also to the rest of the room, with nods and murmurs of concurrence following throughout. Concern and heartbreak can easily turn to anger and a need for justice, and even in your frustratingly vulnerable state, you can see that change begin to take place in the confines of the locker room as the scene between you and Leah made it perfectly clear to everyone that you had been effected by that attack on more than just a physical level.

"Everyone's here for you, alright? Nothing like that is ever gonna happen again. Not to you, or anyone else in this game." Leah says, that steeply arched frown returning to her expression as a hint of determination reaches through her words.

She wipes away some of the tears that hadn't quite made their way down your cheeks and pulls you back into the hug, running her hand in circles along your back. "We're gonna make sure he regrets ever coming to this game." The Vice-Captain whispers into your ear with an intensity that almost makes you shiver, and in that moment, you find a piece of your confidence back.

You were confident that the girls had your back. You were confident that Leah would do whatever it took to get justice, and you were confident that one day that wanker would indeed regret ever even coming near you. But, most importantly, you were confident that you wouldn't allow him damage you, that you wouldn't allow him to have anymore significance in your life than a fucking footnote. Regardless of whatever happened next, revenge or not, justice or not. You were simply more valuable than that, and the girls would always help to remind you of that, even if sometimes it was hard to see.

Sometimes, your team felt like more than just a team, and tonight was one of those times.

///

End Notes: Hey, everyone! So this has been my first ever woso fic. I'm still trying to get to grips with pacing and getting some proper good angst, but I hope this is an enjoyable read and a good start!

#woso #woso x reader #woso imagine #arsenal women #awfc #reader insert #arsenal wfc #arsenal wfc x reader #woso community #leah is going to fuck shit up

[bleuczennie]

i love ur sung smut soooo much omg!!!! there is not enough dom!ji on this app so ur blog is much appreciated LMAO

could u write inexperienced!reader w soft!dom jisung pls 🫶🫶🫶

genre: inexperienced!reader, soft!dom!jisung, older!jisung

tags: smut, foreplay, fluff, loss of virginity, slight jealousy, lmk if i forgot anything :)

jisung loved that you were so innocent, he loved that you trusted him enough to take your virginity. it made him very happy when you actually made the first move, curiosity getting the best of you when you started to hear all your friends and peers raving about engaging in the forbidden act of sex.

jisung was the boy next door, your closest friend in the neighborhood. he was a little over 2 years older than you, but both of you took quite a liking to each other as little kids, always joined at the hip and sobbing obnoxiously whenever your mothers would have to pry you too apart.

as time went on and you both grew older it seemed like jisung grew at a completely faster rate than you, almost doubling in height and standing a complete head taller than you. it seemed as he matured faster too, having heard stories and rumors from the other seniors about him, even after he’d graduated. he had quite the reputation with the ladies, but unfortunately none of them were able to get anything more than a one night stand out of him.

you grew more curious as you continued to hang out with him, not just seeing him as a childhood bestfriend, but as something more. you began to notice his cologne whenever he’d hug you or when you’d cuddle up to him as you always have, even as a child. you would catch yourself getting lost in his veiny arms, or his soft and plump lips. you’d notice the butterflies and the throbbing between your legs whenever he’d pin you down during your play fights, easily overpowering you with that signature grin of his.

it was finally summer break, and you’d gathered all the courage you had in you, waiting till you guys hung out alone at his house again, to make the move. you watched him closely as he played his game on the edge of his bed, hands occupied with the controller as you propped yourself against the headboard. you slowly slid off the bed and padded to the end of the bed towards jisung.

he glanced over at you before you climbed into his lap, straddling your legs across his legs as he made room for you to sit, smoothing your hair down. “what’s wrong?” he said, noticing you shift and squirm in his hold.

“‘want you…” you whispered, almost inaudible as jisung brought his ear closer to you, unable to hear you the first time. “what’s that, baby?”

you shiver at the pet name, sounded worlds more different than every other time he’s called you that in the most platonic of ways. you place your hands on his shoulder and roll your hips forward experimentally, hoping to give him a hint without having to say it out loud. “please, ji… take me,” you mumble, eyes cast down to avoid his. the controller hits the ground with a clatter and you feel his hands on your waist, bruising grip as he feels his dick jump in his basketball shorts.

“fuck, what’s gotten into you, baby?” jisung gasps as you roll your clothed cunt onto his clothed cock again, using his hands to guide you onto him with more force.

you moan out as his hardening cock slides against your folds, making your shorts bunch and ride up around your upper thighs.

suddenly he spins you both around and places you down on the bed, your head hitting the pillow with a soft thud as you watch him walk to the game console and switch it off. your heart rate picks up as he stalks toward you like a predator, the situation suddenly dawning on you.

“um, ji? you know i’ve uh… never done this before..” you mutter, nervous fingers playing with the hem of your shirt as you feel jisung’s large hands caressing it’s way up your legs and spreading out over your soft thighs. the sensation makes you rub them together almost instinctively and jisung looks at your face fondly before chuckling deeply.

“i know baby girl, i’m gonna take it nice and slow okay? i’m gonna make you feel so good.” jisung rasped as he settles himself on the bed in between your legs, massaging your leg with his left hand and traveling up your torso with his right.

his hard cock was confined in his pants, pushing at the seams of his basketball shorts as he lowered himself down to you, caging you under him before crashing his lips against yours.

your hands flew to his pitch black locks in a desperate attempt to anchor yourself, moaning into his mouth as he rolled his hips expertly into yours, brushing up against your throbbing core. he swallows all your gasps and noises as he cups your jaw, drawing circles into your hot cheek.

he breaks the kiss to begin his descent down your body, starting at your neck. he suckles and kisses the side of your neck, finding the spot that makes you writhe with ease. you buck your hips up to meet his involuntarily as your shorts start to stick to your drippin cunt and you spread your legs even further apart, inviting him closer.

his warm fingers inch under your shirt and tease your sides, sending a violent shiver up your spine, and he breaks away to look into your eyes, “wanna keep going?”

you nod frantically, eyes hooded and dripping with lust. jisung tugs at your top first, and you sit up for him to pull it off your body, his shirt following yours to the growing pile of clothes next to the bed.

he pulls you into another bruising kiss and you place your hands on his bare chest, nails softly piercing his pecs. he expertly unhooks your bra with one hand, and lays you back down on the bed as he continues his way down your body.

he sucks a nipple into his mouth, rolling it around his tongue as he kneads and massages the other. you arch your back off the bed and your head falls back onto the pillow as you moan loudly, the slight plain mixing with the pleasure making your head fog with lust.

“ji, please.. i need you” you say, hands desperately wandering along his back and biceps. he finally releases your breast with a ‘pop’ sound and he grins at you, “eager, aren’t we?” he says as he leans back to bring your legs up and slide your shorts and panties off your legs.

he gasps softly when he spreads your legs again and sees just how eager you are, letting out a groan as he grips both of your inner thighs, dangerously close to where you needed him most.

he stares in awe, pulling your pussy lips apart with his thumbs on either side. all you can do is turn your head, partially hiding in the pillow as he takes his long middle fingers and drags a slow line up your slit, making you gasp and shiver from the stimulation. he curses as he collects your fluids on his digits and raises it up to his mouth, eyes rolling back and a moan falling from his lips as he sucks his fingers deeper into his mouth.

he pulls them from his mouth, wet and slippery from his saliva and positions it at your entrance, while focusing on your face. he slowly sinks his thick long digits into your wet heat, thumb instantly drawing circles into your already sensitive clit. you squirm and mewl out as you fist the sheets, eyes screwed shut and eyebrows furrowing as you feel the immense pleasure in waves. his fingers curl up to press a spot that has your body arching up off the bed, moans growing in volume.

jisung grins as he picks up the pace a little, thrusting in and out of your cunt in long and steady movements. he places his free hand on the side of your neck, pulling you up to kiss him as he goes faster.

you moan as your body trembles, feeling an unfamiliar tension grow deep in your belly. you break the kiss as you start to pant, stomach contracting as you hug jisung closer. before you can register what’s happening, jisung pulls his soaked digits away from your pussy.

“wha- ji,” you say breathlessly, as you see him lean over to his bedside dresser, “why’d you stop?”

he smiles and looks at you as he holds up a condom, wrapped in yellow foil paper, “can’t forget protection, right?”

you nod absently as he pulls his basketball shorts down just past mid-thigh, exposing his long since neglected cock. he hisses as it slaps against his stomach, the tip an angry red and beading with precum. his curved length was nothing short of impressive, veiny with just the right amount of girth, and you can’t help but feel a little jealous at all the girls that also got to witness it.

he grips the base of his dick while he rolls the condom on, eyes flickering to you again to see your entranced expression. “it’ll only hurt a little bit, but i need you to work with me okay?” he says, but it falls on deaf ears because all you can think about was his size. he was definitely longer than you imagined, how was he gonna fit?

“hey, you still with me princess?” jisung says, cupping your chin and pulling your head up to make eye contact with him. you try to shake the nervousness free and nod slowly, leaning in the touch. “you still okay with this?”

“yes, please ji, hurry..” you say, pulling him down with you and gasping as his hard length taps against your swollen clit.

jisung wastes no time in lining himself up with your entrance, dragging himself up and down your slit before he slowly pushes inside, invading your sopping cunt.

you suck in a harsh breath at the instant stretch, tears springing to your eyes, and your breath get caught in your throat as more of his size slides into you.

“shh, it’s okay baby, relax for me okay?” jisung shushes you softly as he strokes your hair and your cheek. you loosen up your body and let out a sigh when he started to slide in easier, eventually bottoming out with a groan.

his head drops to your neck as he catches his breath. “fuck, so tight,” he moans as he slowly pulls out, and grabs your thighs, spreading them further. he develops a slow and steady pace, making sure to pay attention to your reactions. every thrust in makes you jolt, his perfectly curved length replacing his fingers in massaging your g-spot. your eyes fall shut as you moan out his name, chest rising and falling rapidly.

“eyes on me angel,” you hear jisung say as he taps the side of your thigh. you flutter your eyes open, struggling to keep up with the intense pleasure wracking your body. jisung chuckles dryly, lopsided grin on his face as he takes in your body. cute, he thinks as he starting to thrust into you harder, faster. his length hit deep inside of you, rocking you against the bed with each thrust.

you grow short of breath, fingernails digging into his back as you cling to him. you’re basically whining now, short and choppy moans from the impact of his thrusts. he curses as he keeps the same pace, now teasing your clit with small and tight circles.

the unfamiliar feeling is back, barreling towards you at full speed. the temperature in the room seems to spike, and you desperately push at his abdomen to get him to slow down.

“wait, ji! i feel… i think..” you try to say in between moans, but jisung pulls your hand from his stomach and pins it above your head, a mischievous grin on his face.

“c’mon princess, you can do it.” he purrs, his thumb applying more pressure on your clit. “i’m so close too, gimme all you got,”

you cry out as you finally let go, your core bursting as you lose yourself in the pleasure. you grip the sheets as you coat jisung’s cock in your cum, a white ring forming around the base of his cock. your pussy squeezes around his cock, making him choke around a moan. his hips finally stutter to a stop as he groans, shooting his load into the condom.

his head falls back as he gathers his breath, hands slowly releasing it’s bruising grip on your thighs. he slips out of you easily and discards the condom into the bin at the end of the bed, and tucks his softening length back in his shorts. he returns to see your limp body, eyes drooping and fluttering with exhaustion.

“you okay baby?” he whispers sweetly, planting a chaste kiss on your lips as he wipes the sweat glistening on your forehead. you nod and smile weakly, wrapping your arms around his neck as he picks you up bridal style.

“let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” he coos in your ear as you lay your head against his shoulder. you should’ve responded to him, but all you could register was that you’ve never heard any of the girls in your senior class mention jisung doing anything for them after sex besides ordering an uber for them to get back home.

and that made your heart swell with pride.

#park jisung #park jisung smut #nct drabbles #nct dream #nct smut #nct hard thoughts #nct x reader #jisung smut #nct jisung #nct ff #jeno smut #jisung oneshot #jisung fluff #park jisung hard hours #jisung imagines #nct imagines #nct hard hours #nct oneshot #jisung x you #jisung x reader

[nebulablakemurphy]

Moves & Countermoves (Part 2)

Summary: No one ever wins the games, even fourteen years later, Y/N is still playing.

Prologue | Part 1

By the time they arrive at the Capitol, Katniss and Peeta are whisked off to be prepped for the tribute parade.

Y/N is already dressed to the nines, they are here to work after all. Haymitch has begrudgingly squeezed into a pantsuit to match and they’re off to talk up the night’s festivities.

Y/N drags him by the hand as they’re rushed through the streets, bustling with excitement.

“Come, come.” Their escort insists. “Five minutes to curtain.”

“Can’t wait.” Haymitch grumbles, a little hung over. His wife flicks at lint on his shoulder pads, allowing him to take a few sips from his flask as they wait in the wings. Fussing over his hair. “It’s fine,” he’s not like her. Nobody is expecting him to be perfectly put together.

“Remember, we’re happy, we’re grateful, we’re in love.” Sounds an awful lot like the pep talks he used to give her. As if somehow, over the years, they’ve switched places.

“Are we not in love?” Haymitch slurs, cocking his head to the side.

Y/N sighs, “of course we are.” Maybe not the way they were in the beginning. Gone are stolen kisses and frenzied hands; given way to comfort and familiarity.

Flickerman’s music plays, the show has started. As the crowd settles back into their seats, Caesar makes his announcement. “Tonight, we will be joined by two very special guests before the tribute parade.”

The audience squeals with excitement. They get to see her.

Y/N rose to fame because Haymitch pushed her there; she was the first sign of hope he’d seen in a long time. But she remains at the top because Snow allows her to; Y/N is everything he dreamed a victor would be. Someone to rally and unite the people with a story of gratitude and love for the nation.

“Y/N and Haymitch Abernathy,” Caesar smiles, standing at the front of his chair.

That’s their queue. Walk out, smile, wave.

The crowd howls, erupting into applause. Stealing the air from Y/N’s lungs, though no one besides her husband could know that. They greet Caesar in turn. Y/N with a hug; the show host vibrating with delight. Haymitch is a hand shake and a pat on the back.

“Welcome, welcome. Thank you for joining us.”

“Thank you for having us,” Y/N takes her assigned seat on the couch after Haymitch plops down.

“Tell us, how are things?” Caesar crosses one leg over the other. “How are the children? It’s been so long since we’ve seen you.”

Not long enough.

“Kids are great,” Haymitch tells him, “brought some pictures for you.” He fishes around in his pocket for a moment before leaning over Y/N to deliver them.

“Oh my,” Caesar cries, “our babies.” He turns the photos out to the crowd, giving the film crew a chance to tighten the shot. “Where are our babies?”

The people let out a collective coo.

“They’re growing up,” Y/N nods.

“You can say that again. Where has all the time gone?”

“I don’t know Caesar, you haven’t aged a day.”

“Ahh,” he clutches a hand to his heart. “You flatter, my girl. Now, I have to ask what we’re all dying to know…”

Haymitch moves to the edge of his seat, feigning anticipation.

“Do you plan on having more children?” Caesar leans in.

Y/N turns to her husband, making a show of whispering in his ear.

Haymitch smirks, nodding suggestively toward the curtains offstage.

“Haymitch, you dog!” Caesar fans himself at the implication.

“It sounded like an invitation,” he shrugs. Quite pleased with himself as people begin cheering. There will be no more children. Not if they have any say in it.

————————————————————————

“I have never seen a more beautiful gown.” The Capitol woman, seated aside of Y/N for the parade, gawks openly at the floor length midnight blue show stopper.

“This?” Y/N looks down at herself. “Doesn’t hold a candle to your outfit. I have half a mind to be jealous.”

Before the chariots are sent out is the perfect time to fish for sponsors. Lay the bait, then once they see the tributes, reel them in.

“Vanity has become quite the talk around here. Everyone loved your reaping dress, we always love your dresses.”

Apparently there is a slew of outfits for a victory tour, assuming one of her tributes ever make it that far.

“Darling, let Y/N breathe.” The woman’s husband cuts in. “Forgive her, she does get overly excited.”

“It’s more than fine,” Y/N reaches a hand out to shake his, “good to meet you both.”

Haymitch watches, giving the man a good old nod and smile when they make eye contact.

The presence of victors is addictive to these people. No matter how much they give, the Capitol demands more. Snow sells it for a price, sells them for a price.

Y/N wants out, she wants freedom. Haymitch keeps her sane, keeps her happy within the confines of their birdcage. They aren’t the only ones. People are angry, desperate for reform. Panem is on the precipice of a revolution, Snow can feel it too. So he digs his claws in a bit deeper.

Soon as the anthem begins to play, all eyes are on the tributes.

District twelve is last, they probably have them dressed as miners again. Ever since Vanity left her post as stylist for the games, the outfits have gone downhill.

This new stylist, Cinna, comes with raving reviews. Still Y/N is surprised to see Peeta and Katniss emerge…on fire?

“Oh my goodness!”

“Look at them!”

“That’s amazing!”

The crowd goes wild, rising from their seats for a closer look. Haymitch huffs a laugh, proud to be their mentor, even though he’ll never admit it.

Katniss won him over during breakfast on the train when she stabbed his placemat. She is a fighter, fighters have a chance if sponsors like them.

When their tributes join hands and hold them high in the air, people eat it up. So far, things are looking better for Katniss and Peeta than any tributes before. The ones Haymitch can’t put names to, the faces that come unbidden in his dreams.

————————————————————————

“Each district gets their own floor.” Effie claps her hands together as she informs the tributes. “Since you’re from twelve, you get the penthouse.”

Katniss side eyes Y/N. Is she serious?

Y/N shoots her a reassuring grin when Katniss freezes at the entrance to the elevator.

“Come on, sweetheart.” Haymitch demands, at this rate he’ll be holding the door open all night.

Katniss swallows, stepping in aside Peeta. Even with Effie, Portia, Cinna and their mentors, the space is not cramped. She wonders idly how many other people could fit.

When they reach the top floor Effie scurries out. “Here it is!”

This time Peeta stalls.

“Come on.” Y/N puts a hand to his back, nodding to the foyer.

Peeta snaps his mouth shut, following after his stylist. It is a bit overwhelming, Y/N remembers. Though the novelty wears off in time.

Effie shows the kids to their rooms. The mentors know theirs well.

“Unzip,” Y/N pleads, the moment they are alone, in the privacy of their suite.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Haymitch chortles. Turning her away to open the gown, allowing it to pool at her feet.

She kicks it away, removing her jewelry and opting for a shower before dinner. When the water runs clear she towels off, feeling like herself again or something close to it.

Tomorrow they train.

Part 3

Series Taglist: @praline357 @flowercrowns-goodvibes @justheretoparty420

#haymitch abernathy #haymitch abernathy x y/n #haymitch abernathy fanfic #haymitch fanfic #haymitch x y/n #haymitch abernathy x you #haymitch abernathy x reader #haymitch x reader #hunger games fanfiction #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #effie trinket #the hunger games

[kosmokhaos]

Hi love! Your sims are GAWJUSSS. Literally breath taking. I’ve recently got back into playing ts3 and am loving it. I was wondering if you can recall the skin and/or makeup&accessories you used in Nyanaath’s makeover update here: https://www.tumblr.com/kosmokhaos/733942789751078912/i-feel-successful-now-cause-damn-ignore-the

I’ve been struggling so bad to find skins of high quality and detail that are darker hues, or eye/nose masks that don’t lose detail the deeper the shade gets. I saw that you gave a resource list of skins a few years back when Nyanaath looked a lil different, so i wasn’t sure if there was anything relatively new that you used or not. I see the pores and details in Nyanaath’s skin and am just dying to know how to get like you lmaoo

First of all, Hiii and thank you! 😁💕Happy new year! Prepare for a bit of rambling but I link to some stuff in the end.

I want to start off saying that most of my sim pics are edited to some degree, especially previous pics from the past. I'm trying to rely less on editing to make my sims looks nice, but of course there is only so much you can do in a sims game.

This is an example of what Nyanaath's skin looks like unedited. EA lighting sucks ass and looks patchy in Sims 3 on dark colored objects in general and unfortunately, sims are not excluded. I end up smoothing the discoloration and patchiness with editing 😭

Before vs After

Skins as dark as Nena's have to be made dark from the start because using a pale/light based skin and trying to use an in-game slider to darken it never turns out good in any game. Dark skin reflects light and shadows differently than light skin and needs its own already-dark base.

I will seriously consider trying to throw together a skinblend for male and female skins that are dark like this because I truly think there are none. BUUUUT LOL rambling aside I do have new recommendations for makeup and skin details since that post:

1. First up is @sourlemonsimblr for makeup. Especially for eyebrows and lipsticks! A lot of their lipsticks are insanely detailed and recolorable enough that they can fit most darker tones. Their skins are lovely too and they've even recently made a dark skin which I will💗Link Here💗. I haven't gotten a chance to play with it yet but they always have quality stuff. Take a stroll through their Downloads page because it's definitely worth it. 2. Next up for skin detail makeups is @smallsimmer. They have so many good nose makes and eye/lip details that can be recolored to use on your darker skinned sims! If you ever had a skin you really liked and wanted to switch up the nose, eyes or lips, their skin detail makeup will absolutely come in clutch. They even have a few converted for child and toddler sims (something ts3 is lacking in)💗Link Here💗 3. If you want some AF skins for darker sims that are readily available and detailed, I'd suggest @annoyinglydarkblaze I learned a lot about making skins from watching their journey into skin making a few years ago. Since they aren't as active anymore and their posts are a bit scattered I will link the skins I like best: 💗Here💗 💗Here💗 and 💗Here💗 4. My next pick for more masculine/male-centered CAS makeup and CC is @nectar-cellar Their cc has been helpful as I slowly update my male OCs. The Beards/detail makeup torso muscled-torso meshes and clothing are some of the best. 5. I also suggest @simtanico for sliders and their detail makeup. I have just about every slider they've created 😂They also make really well done maxis-match kinda styled clothes for male sims too.

I'm sure there are tons of other people I'm missing but its been a minute since I've been around simblr myself so I'll try to update this list as I go.

I'll also leave you with a little tip: Do NOT be afraid to use the opacity slider and layering with makeup on darker sims. Layering and opacity is your friend!

Happy Simming! 💗✨

#sisisimss #ask kosmo #ask #sims resource list #sims 3 #resource list

[samkat10423]

Here’s the truth:

You can be a really good friend, and still not be liked. You can hold someone dear and still not be valued. You can say all the right things, and still have someone twist your words, brush off your words, or worse—use your words against you. You can give it your absolute best, and still have it not work out.

You can be straight-up sunshine in the flesh, and still walk into some heavy rain clouds. You can play your heart out, and still lose the game. You can place the highest bid, and still walk away empty-handed.

You can be pure as humanly possible, and still be painted as the bad guy.

After years of work, these are some things I’ve learned:

1. You can’t control other people. Not even in the slightest, and it is a complete waste to ever assume you can. It will make you angry, and exhausted, and chasing something you don’t have a chance to catch, so switch gears and control you. Control your mouth. Control how you treat people. Control your attitude. Guard your heart, and keep it genuine. Keep showing up, and let that be enough.

2. Other people aren’t you. They don’t think like you, or feel like you. Their experiences belong to them alone. They approach situations differently, and their outlook is nothing like yours. Don’t expect them to handle things exactly like you do. They aren’t you. They’re them. Do your best to love them for it.

3. Some people are never going to like you, and there isn’t necessarily and a rhyme or reason. Your life will improve significantly as soon as you learn this.

4. Sometimes you’re actually the bad guy. Sometimes you’re the one acting foolish. Sometimes you’re the one with the toxic trait or two. Check your own heart. Clean out the junk, and grow from it. Apologize, and now that you’ve learned—take that wisdom, do better next time, stay humble, and give others an awful lot of grace along the way.

5. There is a purpose to it all. There is beauty everywhere. That failed friendship will teach you how to do the next one better. That heartache will remind you to be gentle with other people. That loneliness will help you appreciate connection when you do find it—and you will find it. Not every season lasts forever, but every season does produce something precious eventually, even if it’s just a fresh perspective.

So sleep well, my dear friend.

Life is a long series of letting some things go and holding others close—a catch and release sort of cycle. Let go of needing approval. Let go of bitterness, and resentment, and any of that junk. Let go of insecurity. Let go of guilt. It will keep you shackled like nothing else.

Hold close to your family and the people in your life who have stuck around. Hold close to your morals and your integrity. Hold close to your light and your joy and your hope. Hold close to today. Believe in tomorrow. Hold closest to love. At the end of the day, it’s all that really matters, and as long as you have it—you have more than enough.

[kams-corner]

Mapi Leon Recommendations

[disclaimer: i did not write any of the stories in these masterlists, full credit goes to the respective authors]

Key: *fluff, **angst, ***smut

* ugly sweater - oneshot you and mapi get ready for the barcelona christmas photoshoot

* everything and more - oneshot mapi is head over heels crazy in love with you

* | ** you made your mark on me - oneshot you fuck up the arrangement

* chinese fortunes - oneshot the barcelona team go to a chinese restaurant

* | ** broken heart, healing souls - oneshot mapi cheats on you...

* in love with an insomniac - oneshot mapi helps you navigate your insomnia

* ficlet no 1 - oneshot you get sent home from the world cup early after getting injured

* | ** "touch her and you'll learn" - oneshot you and mapi see your ex girlfriend

* car troubles - oneshot You grew up in Barcelona, played football as a kid but as you got older, life got in the way so you chose a more traditional work-life. Having worked in your family's garage for the past 3 years, you were in line to be the owner soon enough.

* | ** from hero to villain - completed Story arc that has Y/N go from a la Masia promise, to hero, to villain. With different love interests along the way, the Catalonian doesn't shy away from a challenge. Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

* | ** powerful - oneshot you get injured on the field and mapi is nothing if not protective Trigger Warnings: injury

* | ** spilling the tea - oneshot mapi likes you but ends up hurting you on the pitch

* | ** "go to sleep" - oneshot you are a war time reporter assigned to ukraine Trigger Warnings: War, PTSD - read at your own discretion

* | ** please - oneshot mapi has to do cpr on you Trigger Warnings: Major injury

* | ** i'm okay - oneshot your nose gets broken and mapi sees red Trigger Warnings: injury

* unnamed blurb - oneshot mapi tries to teach you spanish

* | ** some days are just harder than others - oneshot you're struggling and mapi wants to help you Trigger Warnings: Mental health and insecurity

* unnamed injury fluff - oneshot you get injured in the last game of the season and you're worried you won't make it to the world cup. mapi is there to help

* zone breaker - oneshot you shock the team when mapi allows you to break her zone

* | ** the bad stuff - oneshot mapi won't let you meet her teammates

* even more than football - oneshot after you transfer to barcelona you get very close with a certain defender, who, luckily enough for you, starts to develop feelings which you happily reciprocate.

* in sickness and in health - oneshot mapi takes care of you when you're sick

* suspicious - oneshot you wear mapi's sweater to the game

* the kit switch - oneshot you only realise what's wrong when you can't take it back

* | ** "how long have you been there" - oneshot you forgot your keys but you don't want to bother mapi Trigger Warning: hypothermia

* | ** looks can be deceiving - oneshot While playing against your team in Paris, Mapi learns just how close you and a fellow PSG teammate have gotten. 

* | ** hiking - oneshot you get injured when you go hiking with some of your teammates Trigger Warning: injury and deterioration

* fifa - oneshot you and mapi play fifa against each other

* | ** you are enough - oneshot you're insecure but mapi assures you you're enough Trigger Warnings: Insecurity

* kisses and crutches - oneshot When Mapi's stubbornness puts her at odds with her own recovery, you resorts to a unique form of persuasion, kisses.

* colouring book - oneshot you colour in mapi's tattoos

* personal tattoo artist - oneshot Mapi helps reader to overcome her fears but not without a cheeky proposal

* | ** new fear unlocked - oneshot you and mapi play against each other in the euros final Trigger Warnings: injury

#mapi leon #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon imagine #woso x reader #woso imagine

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my brother to turn down the volume? And WIBTA for assuming his internet history and trying to get him to stop visiting certain sites?

So it's like this- my (24ftnb (closeted)) hearing is incredibly oversensitive. Like, I can hear someone chewing with their mouth open from 100 paces. However, I'm usually good about not reacting to noises that frustrate me. Not always- sometimes I have to text a meme I made to one of my brothers (22m, 20m, 12m) that's an edit of the "I (do this thing), but I don't want to" meme. The one with the guy who looks up in the second panel with red eyes. "I hear everything, but I don't want to," y'know?

In the past, the predecessor to this meme was simply crawling out of bed to stand in my brothers' doorframe to tell 22m (younger at the time, obviously) to stop singing loudly at 2 am. (It never worked until our parents got involved, and even then sometimes not for the entire night.) Times have changed, I no longer sleep across the hall from all three, but we're all still stuck in the same house, and it's now 20m who's keeping me awake.

Most of the time, he's watching a show he enjoys or playing a video game in the basement. And humming along. Which sounds perfectly fine, and I'm glad he can find some time to indulge in his interests. Whenever I ask him to maybe indulge at a volume that doesn't carry through the vents and directly to my room, though, he gets angry and tells me it's an "anon problem, not a [him] problem." Which. Whatever. I'll deal with itchy earplugs if I need to when at home. They're usually enough to silence the little things, though louder stuff always manages to get through.

Now, though, we're visiting family, and the four of us are sharing a hotel room while our parents take a second. (Yes, yes, I know, three 20-somethings still living with our parents. Our parents put the "rent" into "parent" for each of us once we hit 18, so it's not like we're "freeloading." The economy's in shambles, so this is the best we've got rn.)

And 20m started watching episodes of a show he likes on the room's TV almost immediately after dinnertime, continuing until about 11:30 PM, when I eventually suggested that he watch one more before turning it off or switching to his phone. Something that wouldn't get loud enough to half-wake 12m for the fourth time in a row. I was careful not to mention my own annoyance at being unable to sleep.

Apparently the appropriate response was "I don't want to hear that from you."

Now, this is where that other question I asked comes in, and why I felt the need to specify that I'm closeted ftnb. See, 20m has previously talked about sigma males being better than alpha males, has told me to "use your ethos!" and acted like I was an idiot for not catching on that he meant "use your brain," and repeatedly interrupts conversations where our mother, 12m, and/or I are speaking to completely veer it off-course to whatever he wants to talk about. Additionally, he is incredibly controlling of 12m and has been for nearly all of 12m's lifetime. At the same time, whenever I try to point this out to someone, I am not believed and am considered to be overreacting, thin-skinned, or oversensitive. If 20m is around to see me do so, he snaps at me for "butting in."

Honestly, it feels like he might be browsing incel subreddits or something, but I don't know any specifics beyond how his mentality's changed over the years. All I know is that it feels like he is so much less likely these days to treat my suggestions as equal to his own when I'm not being a yes-man. Yes-person?

Now, I'll straight-up admit that I am not an objective observer. It's very possible that I'm in the wrong about all this, as far as I can tell, but these are the facts as I see them, and nobody's told me otherwise while also elaborating on what the truth would be in such a case.

So…AITA for asking my brother to turn down the volume? And WIBTA for both assuming he's browsing sites that are eroding his ability to interact with other people, and for planning to find a way to get him to stop?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[cream0fwheat1998]

The Parts Only We know Ch.1

part 2

Bully!Dark!Eddie Munson x Reader

*Intimidation, more serious bullying (no wedgies cause that shit is cringe), non-Con (eventually), abusive/toxic-ish relationship*

It's gotten worse, y/n thought looking at the bluish-purple bruise on her leg. She dug through her clothing drawers and pulled out a long pair of pants. Even though a skirt would make more sense considering the warm weather, a skirt would also bring her unwanted attention.

With her parents still asleep, she took light steps around the house and gathered her supplies. She took her seat on the bus and listened to her Walkman alone. The bus ride to school is the only time of day she'd feel peace because once she stepped off the bus, she switches to survival mode all because of Eddie Munson.

Y/n swerved through the hallways while trying to hide her face. She avoided him all day and even though they were both seniors they didn't share any classes. A tap on y/n's shoulder made her jump and squeal like a mouse.

Robin put her hands up in defense, "Woah it's just me! Are you alright?" She asked, squeezing Y/n's shoulder to comfort her.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just didn't sleep much last night and my advanced classes have been kicking my ass." Y/n admitted.

"I won't be much help but if you need a study partner I'm here for you. Also sorry Steve and I didn't pick you up this morning." Robin continued walking by y/n.

Y/n took no offense, she actually had her own license but didn't have a car. Her dreams of an independent morning commute were dashed when her parents saw her slipping grades and decided that if she couldn't handle schoolwork, she wasn't mature enough to handle a car.

Y/n shrugged her shoulders and continued looking side to side for a tall, brunet man who wore lot's of rings. She thought she saw glimpses of him, shadows of his figure in the corner of her eyes, the top of his head behind large groups of people or his laugh in the midst of all the hallway chatter. It's like, on the days where she couldn't find him anywhere, his essence the devil permanently attached to her back.

After school, Robin dragged y/n into the woods to watch some friends play some nerd, fantasy game. D&D, and it sounded kinda fun but she didn't have time for games these days.

Closer to the abandoned lunch table, farther away from the school, she could hear yelling. People arguing about scores, dice rolling and lore. But what made her stop was the man standing at the head of the table.

Eddie lifted his head to see Robin and his favorite plaything walking his way. He smirked at the way y/n stopped frozen in her tracks, daring herself not to come any closer.

"Ah, come on y/n! I don't bite!" Eddie yelled, gesturing for the girls to observe the game. Robin laughed at Eddie but Y/n knew he was lying. Eddie Munson DID bite and scratch and hit and hurt her many times over the years.

The campaign ended with a win for the freshmen nerds. Eddie clapped and hugged his friends; Eddie was anything but a poor sport. Everyone shuffled off after Nancy dragged Mike away because she had to drive him home.

Steve and Robin offered to drive me home but before I could accept, Eddie put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him.

"I'll drive her guys! See you later." Eddie jingled his keys and waved his friends off.

When no one was around, Y/n was pushed against a tree. Her bag fell on the ground with its' contents scattered amongst the dead grass and dirt.

"You think you can avoid me the whole year huh?" Eddie accused Y/n, giving her a slap in the face.

Cupping her burning cheek, y/n turned her face away from Eddie's predatory gaze. "I'm sorry Eddie...." She said.

Eddie was in a forgiving mood and sighed, backing away from Y/n just a little. His heart ached to see her avoid eye contact with him but she did this to herself. She needed a reminder if his rules.

"Can you look at me? Please?" Eddie asked, cupping y/n's chin with his fingers.

Hesitant, y/n glanced up with her sweet, innocent eyes. Something about them made Eddie feel vulnerable, weak and under her spell. Whore magic, he decided.

With a chuckle, Eddie said, "You've caught me in a good mood. I'll forgive you this time with minimal punishment this time but if I catch you hiding from me in the hallways again, I'm gonna drag you by your hair into the closest broom closet and force my cock in your mouth. Understood?"

Y/n felt her eyes cloud with tears but forced herself to hold them back; she knew how Eddie felt about crying and didn't want to make the situation worse.

Y/n nodded, "Yes Eddie, I won't hide from you anymore."

Eddie didn't let go or her chin but got closer and kissed her forehead. He let her chin go and gave her a pat on the head, "That's my good girl. As for your punishment, you should walk home but give me a call so I know you got home safe." Eddie said walking from the woods leaving y/n there to pick up her stuff and wonder what Eddie had in store for her this year.

#eddie munson #eddie x reader #dark!eddie munson #dark!eddie munson x reader #dark!eddie munson x you #bully!eddie #stranger things

[hinamie]

some notes/hcs from th jjk band!au ! read at your leisure i have written a novel 🫠

tl;dr guitarist brothers suku/ita bassist megu drummer nobara band name BL4CK FL4SH

i imagine them slightly aged up in this au, i'm thinking yuuji n them are around 17 and sukuna is 2 years older ( i would make the age gap wider to account for canon but i feel like any older and sukuna wouldn't be caught dead playing in his little brother's band)

it /is/ technically yuuji's band, he /was/ the one who started it even though sukuna would argue that he's the one funding the whole thing and nobara would argue that she's the one organizing and promoting every one of their gigs and megumi would argue that he constantly loses sleep writing mixing and producing their songs,, they all love yuuji tho so they go along and let him put his name on it

don't think too hard about how sukuna, 19, makes enough to fund a band . wholesome legal stuff, promise

yuuji's current guitar is a hand me down from sukuna after he had saved up enough to splurge on the double necked monstrosity he has currently. because they were strapped for cash growing up, for years yuuji played on a beginner kid's size electric guitar that sukuna (serial music snob) couldn't stand the sound of and may or may not have violently smashed before tsundere-ly shoving his old guitar into yuuji's hands.

that being the case, sukuna thinks what yuuji has done to his old guitar is atrocious bc he's the type to take /meticulous/ care of his instruments. we're talking regular tune ups, wax, mods, the works. man carries spare strings and a microfibre cloth on him at all times just in case and Will Not let yuuji near his gear because yuuji is a hurricane of a boy and has dropped and broken his equipment more times than any of them care to count . they do however make a game out of placing bets as to what he'll knock over during practice

yuuji usually does lead vocals because his energy is quite frankly contagious and he's a natural at working a crowd . Sukuna sings backup vocal but there are a handful of songs where they switch and he sings lead and those songs are . hm . a very different vibe ! and some of their most successful releases much to his brother's chagrin

megumi had always noticed and admired sukuna's voice and thought it would be a waste not to give him a lead vocal part so he was originally the one to offer to collaborate with sukuna to write a few songs more tailored to his style ,, yuuji felt a bit snuffed but couldn't deny that megumi had a point so he agreed to take a back seat

once sukuna had gotten a taste for the spotlight and saw the stream count on the songs he led he and yuuji started bickering a lot more over who gets to take over lead vocals. they've tried duets before and it's simply out of the question so instead they fight over megumi to get him to write for one of them. it still usually ends up being yuuji which irks sukuna but he's placated by how explosive the reaction is when he /does/ get a song to himself

megumi can also sing !!! he's really good !!!!except he's shy and stubborn and won't do it in front of others. he once drunkenly admitted that he has a secret folder on his laptop full of audio files of himself singing unreleased songs and they (mostly nobara) haven't let him forget it and pester him relentlessly to let them listen. he will not because his songs are emo and sappy and pining and definitely not about yuuji

this is MY brainrot so this au is not immune to pining megumi x oblivious yuuji. one time yuuji kept inviting a girl he liked to their rehearsals and megumi's mood would get so sour that most days they had to call practice early and the ensuing show was one of their worst performances ever because their practices had been so unproductive. nobara is 95% sure she knows what was up but in the interest of keeping megumi in the band she kept her mouth shut ((she did admonish yuuji afterwards that no more outside spectators were allowed at practice no matter how hot he thinks they are))

in the days leading up to their first ever show yuuji was an anxious wreck to the point where the rest of them were legitimately concerned for his health but completely at a loss as to what they could do to help. megumi's love language is Not words of affirmation so instead he got yuuji a new set of audio cables accompanied by a note that read "good luck -M" to help ease his nerves. yuuji keeps the note taped to his guitar

megumi and nobara can both play piano and alternate covering the keyboard parts if a song requires it. (((megumi is a lot better at it which annoys nobara but she attributes the skill difference to his "freakishly long fingers and perfect pitch, which is basically cheating anyway")))

nobara gives the boys hell for making her play manager most of the time but she honestly thrives when a gig is coming up and she gets to order them around and use sukuna's credit card to book photoshoots and print promotional materials and buy them new outfits to match the concept

everyone but sukuna dreads the aforementioned shopping days. yuuji is a chronic protag who just wants to sing with his friends and megumi thinks coordinated outfits are frivolous and a waste of time . sukuna however /loves/ the visual aspect of performing because he's a dramatic bitch and wants to make sure they leave an impression. he and nobara are a force to be reckoned with and megumi and yuuji fight for their lives when they bust out the eyeliner

gojo is in this au because i guess he has to be smh i am never free -_- he was megumi's old music teacher and he runs the studio they rent out ("friends and family discount for my favourite student! aren't i kind, megumi-chan?") and they're pretty sure he's famous overseas or a retired star or something because whenever he comes to their shows there's a flood of paparazzi and tabloids that he miraculously manages to avoid??? they have no idea how he does it but they're happy to leech off the publicity

#jjk band!au #i have more don't tempt me take this away from me #hina.txt

[blazehedgehog]

I Love To Shoot At Trouble

During the Steam Christmas Sale I ended up buying Need for Speed: Most Wanted 2012 because it was like $6 or $7 and I'm in the mood for a new racing game to chew up. EA already gave the game away for free in like 2015, but that meant installing "The EA App". I figured having it on Steam would be more convenient.

You'd think so.

It's not! As part of the first time launch, it installs "The EA App" anyway, which also means it found and uninstalled whatever version of Origin I still had (I wasn't aware I'd ever reinstalled Origin since my HDD crash). As part of this process, it also asked me for my EA password, I misread Firefox's stored password incorrectly, and went through the trouble of resetting my EA account with a new password before linking it to Steam. To my surprise, EA's been sitting on my seven year old cloud save from the few minutes I played of this on Origin in 2017, and asks if I want to import it. Sure, I guess.

So that's ten minutes down the drain before I can even boot up the game. Okay, fine, the game finally launches. Gotta wait while it boots up The EA App each time before it boots into the game, gotta wait for the title screen logo animation, gotta wait for a 10-15 second load screen because even though this game came out in 2012 it's gotta ping some always-online "Autolog" leaderboard whatever. Once it connects, it has to do a slow cinematic pan across your car, telling you what your online rivals have done since the last time you connected, and what kind of equipment you have on your car.

All told, every time you boot up Most Wanted 2012, you're looking at a 30-45 second wait before the game actually hands over control and lets you start driving.

Pull the accelerator and instantly Most Wanted SCREAMS at me:

Fair enough. I'm using a Dualshock 4, and the Playstation 4 did not release until over a full year after this game. Click to the menu it's asking of me and see that the control binding menu is awful -- it's one of those super oldschool ones, like binding keys one by one in Doom 2. I have no idea what these buttons are supposed to be in terms of Xbox equivalents, and I realize that Steam has this thing called "Steam Input" that's supposed to be handling all of this anyway. Steam Input generally makes my Dualshock 4 look like an Xbox controller to most games.

I exit out of Most Wanted, force Steam Input to "on" (I was messing with its settings recently, so I thought maybe it was disabled), and relaunch the game again. Wait for the EA App to boot up, gotta wait through the title screen logos, gotta wait 10-15 seconds on a loading screen, gotta wait another 5-10 on the cinematic pan across my car. I have now spent a minute and a half total waiting for this game to boot while I troubleshoot this.

Pull the accelerator. Instead of it complaining about my controller, straight up nothing happens. That's weird. The Start button works, the analog stick seems to work in the pause menu, but the triggers do not. The face buttons also do nothing. Upon checking the settings, that's because Most Wanted has settled on keyboard mode, even though it's clearly accepting some controller input. After poking at it, it does not seem like there's any way to get it to see my controller.

This makes Most Wanted a special game, because a lot of games I play will happily accept that Steam Input is telling it I have an Xbox controller connected even when I absolutely do not. But this is the rare 1% that seems to be incompatible. It's time to bring in the big guns.

Mayflash makes a terrific little passthrough device called the Magic NS, and the general purpose of this device is that it lets you use any controller on any other platform. An Xbox controller on a Playstation? No sweat. A Playstation controller on the Switch? It'll handle it. If you upgrade to the Magic NS2, you even get full gyro support. Every NS device also doubles as a Bluetooth dongle, so you can stay wireless if that's your thing. I love it so much I bought two, because generally they're only about $20.

A Magic NS2 for my Switch... and Magic NS1 for my PC. Strictly for scenarios like this, where a game expects an Xbox controller and Steam Input fails its camouflage.

Plug the NS1 in, connect my Dualshock 4, and once again boot up Most Wanted and wait the 45 seconds to get through the EA app, logos, loading, and the cinematic pan across my car. More than two full minutes now looking at this junk, and that's not counting the time spent outside of the game troubleshooting this in menus or digging out dongles or whatever.

Pull the accelerator... and my car starts to drive! I can steer! It works! Of course it works. The Magic NS never lets me down. I pull up to the first race event...

Press J and K to start the event.

Those are, uh. Those are keyboard keys. I'm using a controller. The controller is fully functional. You don't need to tell me this in keyboard controls. This isn't going to be one of those games, is it? The kind that still tells you everything in the keyboard shortcuts no matter what?

I drop into the menus again and see Most Wanted is still stuck on Keyboard mode and won't let me switch to anything else, even though I'm clearly using a fully functional controller now. This can't be right. But then I remember: Steam Input is still turned on, and when I forced Steam Input to be on, Most Wanted got stuck in this keyboard mode.

Exit out of the game, tell Steam to turn off Steam Input for this specific game only, and relaunch. Wait through all that crap again. We're up to three minutes just waiting for the game to start, and probably closing in on 20 minutes since I first decided I wanted to try Most Wanted.

Pull the accelerator, it works, drive up to the first event, and...

Pull LT and RT to start the event.

FINALLY. HOLY SHIT.

On the plus side: this game controls a lot better than I remember. It's a decent middleground between Criterion's heavier-feeling Hot Pursuit (2011) and the snappier Burnout Paradise. Though I could do with a lot less full screen flashing or the fact that Autolog alerts hide the minimap for some reason.

Not pictured, but the "always online" nature can also be frustrating if you pause, unpause, and find you have to quickly re-pause again a second time. That second pause will actually incur a loading spinner because it hasn't finished syncing with the server from the first pause, apparently. This game is going on 12 years old.

Anyway. This was a nightmare.

HOT BONUS

"The EA App" now starts up with Windows and is nagging me to enter the login credentials I already entered last night. I have to go through extra steps to get it to leave me alone and not do this

THE RIDE NEVER ENDS

#need for speed #most wanted #criterion games #ea #electronic arts #origin #the ea app #steam #valve #xbox #steam input #troubleshooting #mayflash #Youtube

[nephblrus]

some andy crenshaw lore paste dump

(andy is visually impaired, 19 and has a guidefish named snickers!)

andy’s vision got. progressively worse as he got older. he was always pretty blind but when he was younger he could see fine with glasses and a heavy prescription. always a little off balance but he managed. when he was 8 he started losing his peripheral vision, just slowly getting blurrier (even with glasses) and dimmer. around 14 his eyesight was to the point where glasses weren’t quite enough, he couldnt see 6 feet in front of him, and started learning to use a cane around school and going out with his mom or friends.

buttttt… for his 14th birthday his parents surprised him with the news that he was gonna be getting a guidefish (which andy had been talking a lot about) and he was SO excited. got to meet young snickers (who had already been training for a year already) and play with him, and over the next little while he’d go to the training place once a week to train with him! (since andy had never had a guide animal before)

when andy was 15 snickers was fully trained and ready to go home with him :) and he was SO happy. felt so independent and loved snickers to death. it was a bit of an adjustment at school, had a bit of issue at the start with people distracting snicks and asking to pet him, but no one bothered him too much. andy was a really nice dude and got along with everyone. respected him and snickers

at 15 his peripheral was pretty much gone, but with his glasses he could see decently as long as it was far enough away. close up was really blurry, he couldn’t read, relied fully on braille like he had been since he was younger.

started playing turf at 16. liked long range weapons. started with a hydra, since he could see much clearly from far away and playing as a backliner meant he didn’t really have to be in the heat of the game. eventually switched to chargers because someone pointed out how good his aim was. settled on elitre. got really good with it. like really good.

there was just one issue. not a lot of people wanted to play with him regularly. they’d play a few games after randomly matching with him, but then after realizing he’s visually impaired, they saw him as nothing but a disadvantage, despite praising him previously for his aim. they saw him as a weakness. didn’t want him on their team. it annoyed him a lot. he wasn’t even allowed to play competitively, the judges felt it was unfair for both him and other players for andy to compete with how severe his vision loss was. he thought it was bullshit, but learned to roll with it. make the best out of it. played a lot of soloq, was still his regular, friendly, happy self.

then he met these 2 octolings after a game. pretty thick octarian accent, introducing themselves as Cider and Azure. the latter being… where was that voice coming from?

“i’m down here jackass”

andy looked down a little more, trying to pinpoint his eyes on something without them shaking, settling on a blue blob. laughed it off, going “sorry, i’m blind, i’m andy”

andy doesn’t see it, but azure’s face drops immediately while cider starts laughing.

the voice coming from the blue blob (he’s pretty sure that one’s Azure) goes “oh my god this is a terrible first impression. im gonna restart. im azure. and short. and uh. not blind? you look really cool my buddy here wanted to say hi”

azure gets smacked in the back of the head by cider, who whispers “you wanted me to say hi”

“DUDE”

andy just laughs at them slightly, liking their vibes. azure grabs his hand and puts it on his head and goes “im down here! anyways. you play anarchy?”

“he just said he’s blind”

“HES HOLDING AN ELITRE”

andy chuckles a little more and goes “i play turf. i can kinda see, it’s just like… a scope. i can’t see up close at all, yknow”

“you should play anarchy with us!!!”

“uhhh…”

cider shuts azure up. “im sorry about him. what he’s trying to say is that he thinks you look fun and if you’re ever interested in playing anarchy with some people we’d be down. or even to like- go get lunch”

“oh! well, yknow sure why not”

azure jumps up and goes “like right now?”

“sure?”

“YEAHAHHAHA LETS GO you’re gonna be a fun guy i can tell”

andy laughs again, going goes “just uh, i have a guidefish, lemme go get him. i’m not actually sure how to get to the anarchy floor”

azure whispers “HES GOT A FUCKIN FISH this guy is so cool we made the right choice”

the three become really close from then on out. azure and cider have been best friends their whole lives, but it feels like they’ve known andy for years. they don’t treat him weirdly for being blind, respect his and snickers’ space when they’re walking, always offering help if it seems like he’s struggling, but never pushing.

cider and azure always defended andy when some rando would give him shit or tease him in any way. saying his eyes looked weird, or how his glasses made him look dumb, or calling him stupid for having to use the tip of his charger as a cane outside of games, and feeling around walls to pinpoint where he was during them.

neither of them minded that andy couldn’t play competitively. cider and azure did duo competitions and andy (and snickers) always came to cheer them on and celebrate with them after. played together casually as much as they could. hung out almost every weekend.

#splatoon oc andy #splatoon oc #nephyroc #splatoon #splatoon oc azure #splatoon oc cider #snickers the catfish

[polyboros]

the thing is, right. that i wrote 75 fics for blaseball. more, if you count tumblr prompts - more if you count wiki pages. over the course of late 2020 to the very beginning of 2023, i wrote more for blaseball than i have for anything else, except maybe my friends' oc rp. maybe i'll never write that much for fandom again. my writing developed so much over that period of time - blaseball gave me a lot of inspiration and a lot of practice!! i met incredible writers through it who inspire me so much To This Day. i met incredible people with incredible ideas. i still lurk around in the crabitat, because the community there is lovely and i love looking for secondhand recommendations in the media channels. i could list a lot of regulars i've just... seen around, for about 2, 3 years. blaseball offered me both the opportunity to grow as a writer and the opportunity to find communities that, even if some of them fell apart, taught me a lot of things anyways. i'm still in contact with a lot of people i met through blaseball, and that's fucking lovely!!

i can't say i'm sad it's over. i guess i'm a little sad. but blaseball's been dying for a while, now, and it's the kinda thing you sorta see on the horizon. i'm one of the people who distanced themself from it before it came, and i'm a little grateful to my past self for that - i've got so much going on that i don't have quite enough room for a "i just moved across the country and also tot clark died in my funny game so i'm going to lose it for 5 hours" kind of night. i still have everything that matters. the experience, the community, the funny little guys. but blaseball did a lot for me, so i wanted to say goodbye. here's goodbye.

there is a radio.

sometimes it's in the crabitat. sometimes it's in other stadiums, darkened locker rooms slowly collecting dust; maybe there's the occasional visitor, casting light across worn benches, footsteps leaving imprints on the tile. but there's less and less visitors.

most of the time, it's at home.

you can tune it, if you're careful. it likes to play what it wants, though, and so not-players-mostly-people just let it go, when they find it - whatever jaunty commentator/clawmentator voice it wants to remind them of, games stretching from the very first season to the very last, it gets to do that. it keeps playing, however distorted by static it gets.

time goes on.

there are less people to visit, as time goes on. some people grow old and die. some people don't die, but they do move on, and the radio knows it'd be an unwelcome reminder. but there's always a handful to visit, to comfort, to celebrate with. immortals at a graveyard that used to be a field with strings of pearls in their pockets. the handful of players that kept playing, in the after, maybe other splorts or other games - but they kept playing, and they had fun, eventually. parties of people that used to be on different teams and now just share jerseys like old sweaters, trading stories of how their hometowns have changed since it ended.

sometimes the radio sticks around with someone for a while. sometimes it changes hands every day, every hour, switching its tune to match. sometimes nobody sees it for a very long time, and sometimes people forget it exists entirely. but it always comes back for a visit. a little memory, a little burst of joy-in-static. hello- hello- blaseball fans!

there is a radio. it's lasted for a long time, and it'll last for a while longer, even in the absence of blaseball itself. it lasted through ascension, after all. it lasted through siesta after siesta after siesta.

there is a radio, and there is a world moving on from blaseball.

there is a radio, and there is the lilt of old words, phrases quickly becoming antiquated, kept alive through pick-ups and muscle memory.

there is a radio, and there are people who used to be players.

there is a radio, and there are people who used to be fans, who still are fans, who still will be fans.

there is a radio, and it still loves.

there is a radio, and it still is loved.

(that's all for today's game, folks!)

there is a radio.

#kbitycus talks #blaseball #goodnight sweet blaseball. it was a good run #i made myself sadder abt blb ending writing this by the by which. unintended effect. peace and love #a special shoutout to the crabitat and all the people i met through it. claws up!!

[snapesbestbuddy]

headcanons about the young Severus Snape?? I'm curious because I love that character so much (and when he was young I like him more)

I got so many! Almost every second post of mine is about him.

1. He hit puberty when he was 17, until that you could mistake him as a girl, because he was 5'6, unhealthy skinny and obviusly had his long black hair.

2. He did infact smoke from a young age, even he hated the idea of it.

3. Also obvius one he is a mama's boy and always will be.

4. Him and Reggie were besties until the end, I also like to gaslight myself with the idea he switched side because of him, instead of Lily.

5. And if we are at Lily, I'm sure Severus moved on at some point from her. Has he forgiven himself for what he did? No. But he was obsessed with her with all those years? Also not.

6. He loved small animals, especially as a young child. He admired every bug, reptile or even mammal (like cats or rats).

7. He was the type of guy who would either spend time at a play ground or a grave yard.

8. He become close with the black family, mostly after Lucius and Narcissa marriage.

9. In his mind he addressed himself in second person, like he would think about himself things like: "You’re such a loser".

10. Of course he is autistic.

11. He head a weird attraction for evil people, especially if they done somethink evil for him, he really wanted someone to step up for him.

12. I also admire slavic Severus, what is not real, but being half slavic would definitely fit him.

13. He almost k*ll himself after the prank, thanks to the idea of others literally tired to k*ll him. After some hard times he could found enough strengh to not do it, but the thought never really left.

14. The only girl friend he had even in his life other then Lily, was Charity Burbage, and her death destroyed him.

15. Boy know how to steal, he was whole pickpocket, sometimes he done it as a joke with Mulciber or Evans to annoy them, but there was time when he actually stole thing from gryffindors.

16. The only muggle games he loved was card games, Elieen played a lot with him when he was younger, so it was one of his sweeter memories.

I just get all out from myself in the past 20 minutes, I'm sure there would be more.

#severus snape #pro snape #professor snape #young snape #comfort character #regulus and severus #charity burbage

[nebulablakemurphy]

Moves & Countermoves (Part 17)

Summary: No one ever wins the games, even fourteen years later, Y/N is still playing.

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16

“People of Panem, we fight, we-” Katniss freezes, staring at her own reflection. Makeup done, hair styled to perfection, holding up a stick for the camera. This isn’t real. This isn’t war.

“Does she know the line?” Plutarch asks, into the microphone, for all to hear.

“I know it.” Katniss shakes her head to clear it.

“She’s just warming up.” Effie explains. Even she has joined the effort, leaving behind her drab quarters for Katniss.

“Alright, let’s go again. Whenever you’re ready.” Plutarch instructs.

Y/N sways, soothing her tired infant to a sleepy submission on the opposite side of the glass. Daisy May is not fond of sleep, especially with the world bustling around her.

Katniss gets back down on one knee. This is take three.

“Maybe if you show her.” Cashmere whispers to Y/N.

“Might not be a bad idea.” Plutarch watches the mockingjay, with a hand to his head.

“Yeah?” Y/N is willing to try.

“Here,” Cashmere puts her arms out, “gimme the baby.”

Y/N looks down at her daughter, kissing her tiny nose and handing her off.

She fusses for a moment, in Cashmere’s hold.

“Shh,” the blonde coos, allowing the baby to take a fistful of hair. “It’s ok, my Daisy.”

The little girl sighs, closing her grumpy eyes, never letting go of Cashmere’s waves.

“Ok, Katniss, Y/N’s coming in to do a demonstration. Just follow her lead and we’ll go from there.”

“Yeah, ok.” Katniss’ eyes scan the reflective surface, searching for her.

A second later, her mentor pops through the connecting side door. She is not made up, or wearing some crazy outfit, her stylist squeezed her into; she is just Y/N. Somehow that is enough.

“I’m a method actor, obviously.” Loved her fake husband so much that their staged marriage became a real one.

Not that Haymitch is any better. Content to kiss the ground where she walks, if he couldn’t be with her.

The joke lands only with Plutarch and Cashmere. Katniss thinks she understands, but doesn’t find it all that funny.

“First thing’s first, I’m gonna move around a little, get the blood flowing, get that shortness of breath.”

Katniss moves with her, trotting in place like a show horse.

“Good, now we’ll go down on one knee.” Y/N demonstrates and Katniss follows. “Slowly and with some effort, I’m gonna rise to my feet.”

“Because you’ve just been in battle.”

“Exactly,” Y/N smiles, before her features harden.

She is a thousand miles away, just stormed the outskirts of the Capitol. The ease with which she shifts from one to the other terrifies Katniss.

“People of Panem, we fight, we dare, we end our hunger for justice!”

Even with the wind and the stupid stick in Y/N’s hand, raised in the air, Katniss almost believes it. This is the type of person that fuels a rebellion.

She was the people’s victor. She won her own way, same as Haymitch. So Snow manacled them together and scarred them with his brand.

The more Katniss learns about Y/N the more her heart aches, for the indifference she held toward her for so long. To know her is to love her and it’s a shame that not many people ever did.

“Yes! That was perfect.” Plutarch exclaims, “Katniss, now you try it. Just like that.”

“O-ok,” Katniss stammers.

Y/N moves aside, switching places so that Katniss is on the pedestal.

Katniss repeats the words verbatim, copying Y/N’s performance as best she can. She only agreed to be the face of the revolution after seeing what happened to district twelve. After seeing the reaction to Peeta’s interview with Caesar, she knows this is the only way to protect him.

There’s a slow clap from the corner, growing closer until he steps into view. The top of his blonde hair covered by a dark knit hat. “And that is how a revolution dies.”

Katniss glares at Haymitch, his hand resting at Y/N’s waist, as if no time has passed between them.

“Is this how you greet an old friend?” Haymitch cocks his head to the side.

“Maybe I don’t recognize you sober.” Katniss bites out.

“I guess it looks as bad as it feels.”

Y/N turns to him, whispering something Katniss can’t make out.

He offers her a smile and a chaste kiss.

Katniss sees herself and Peeta. The way they might have been, ten years down the line. Peeta would love her like that…and she’d love him the only way she could.

It would bubble up and swell in her chest, until she burst. Just like Haymitch, pouring from an empty cup.

————————————————————————

Katniss sinks down in her chair, as the propo plays for the team. Wishing she could melt into it, disappear. No one’s going to buy this.

Y/N rubs at her back, “it’s not as bad as you think.”

“You’re right,” Haymitch cuts in, “it’s worse.” He’s always been a tough love kind of guy. Even with an infant strapped to his chest, he isn’t brimming with compassion.

Y/N rolls her eyes, “not helping.”

“Indulge me for a moment.” Haymitch holds both hands up in surrender. “Lets everybody think of one incident where Katniss Everdeen genuinely moved you.” He moves to the digital display, in front of the meeting table. “One moment where she made you feel something real.”

“Ooo,” Effie waves a hand. “When she volunteered for her sister at the reaping.”

“Excellent example.” Haymitch uses his forearm to clear data from the screen. He’s observed enough of Y/N and her tablet over the years, this technology is no different. “Hope that wasn’t important.” He steals a glance over his shoulder, before scribbling in, ‘volunteer 4 sis,’ with the stylus.

“And when she volunteered for Y/N.”

“When she sang that song for little Rue.”

Haymitch adds it to the list. “You know Effie, I like you better without all that makeup.”

“Well, I like you better sober.” The woman says in return, causing Haymitch to glare at her.

“When she chose Rue for an ally as well.” Beetee chimes in.

“Now, what do all of these things have in common?”

“Nobody told her what to do.” Gale understands better than anyone.

“Unscripted,” Beetee agrees, “yes. So maybe we should just leave her alone.”

“And wash her face.” Boggs narrows his eyes, “she’s still a girl, you made her look thirty-five.”

Katniss smiles at this.

“The opportunities for spontaneity are obviously lacking, here below ground.” Plutarch points out. “So what you’re suggesting is that we toss her into combat?”

“I can’t sanction putting an untrained civilian into combat for effect. This isn’t the Capitol,” Coin argues.

“Oh, that’s exactly what I’m suggesting. Put her in the field.” Haymitch knows this is the only way.

“No, we won’t be able to protect her.” The president looks to Y/N now. Surely she is not onboard with this.

“It has to come from her, that’s what people respond to. You want a symbol for the revolution, she cannot be coached into it. Trust me, I know.” Haymitch presses on.

“He’s right,” Y/N sighs. “It’s not ideal but…it’s our only option.”

“Maybe there’s someplace less dangerous.”

“District eight, they sustained heavy bombings last week. No military targets left.”

“We can’t guarantee her safety.”

“You’ll never be able to guarantee my safety,” Katniss adds. “I wanna go.”

“And if you’re killed?” Alma’s words hang heavy between them.

“Make sure you get it on camera.”

————————————————————————

“You realize this is dangerous, let alone highly irresponsible.” Haymitch remarks, watching his wife load her gun. The bullets are color coded; black for regular, yellow are incendiary, and red for explosive. Though they’ve been asked not to fire the red ones down here.

“Yeah.” Y/N cocks the gun, squeezing the trigger and letting the bullet fly. She’s gotten better with practice, now hitting her target at dead center. “You don’t approve?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then what are you saying, Haymitch?”

“As your former mentor, I’m not inclined to advise you waltzing into a war zone.” You search for water. High ground, stay away from the cornucopia.

Y/N nods, “and as my husband?”

“I’m even less inclined.” Though his feelings for her have shifted over the years, the need to protect her is fierce and unwavering.

“I can’t lose Katniss.” Not like we lost Peeta.

“Yeah,” Haymitch huffs, “I get that.”

She sets down her weapon, on the steel table in the training room. “I’m a good shot.”

“You are.”

“I’ve been working on my stamina, I’m almost back to where I was before Daisy.”

Haymitch won’t deny it. “You’ve got good aim, you’re fast, resourceful and a little bit scrappy. You can survive in harsh conditions.” You’re my victor. “But there’s a hole in your uterus the size of a dinner plate.”

“Was,” Y/N corrects him. “The doctors cleared me for this.”

“I watched you almost bleed to death; twice. So you’ll have to forgive me for being reluctant to let you risk your life. I understand that this is important to you-”

She turns, cupping his cheek, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. “I wouldn’t want you to go either. I love you too much.”

Haymitch affords her a soft grin, “that always gets in the way, doesn’t it?”

Y/N lifts a shoulder, “somehow I just keep getting sucked in deeper.”

“You keep getting sucked in?” He chuckles. “I was perfectly content on my own for over a decade, before you put your hooks in me.”

At this she laughs, harder than she should. “Don’t make it sound so romantic now.”

Still his arms are around her. Y/N’s at the nape of his neck, toying with the hair that has started growing in with gray peppered throughout and makes him feel every bit his age.

Their lips meet, by her accord or his own; he can’t say for certain. Y/N bids him closer. Deeper, harder, more. I’m yours. Nothing more, nothing less…just hers.

“Stay off him!” Cashmere scolds from the entryway, effectively breaking them apart. “It’s like you’re trying to singlehandedly repopulate this hellhole.”

“Our contribution to this great nation,” Haymitch salutes her.

————————————————————————

“We’ve gotta be quick about this. Get in and get out.” Boggs orders, as they file out of the hovercraft. Nobody wants the mockingjay on the ground for long.

Introductions are brief. Commander Paylor, of district eight, shows them to the makeshift hospital.

Bodies of fallen civilians line the entrance, covered only by tarps. “There’s a mass grave, about two miles west. But I can’t spare the manpower to move them.”

This place is a breeding ground for infection. All the wounded in one place, nothing sterile in sight.

“Don’t film me in there. I can’t help them,” Katniss says to Cressida, as they move farther into the masses.

“Just let them see you,” the woman insists. She left the Capitol for this, she knows what she’s doing.

“Come on,” Y/N gives her shoulder a squeeze.

Katniss opens her mouth to speak but Y/N disappears into the crowd, helping nurse the wounded.

There is someone in the corner; no one tends her, she is alone and clearly suffering. A bucket of water, with a single sponge inside, sits beside her, bandages to the left.

“I’m surprised they let you out just to show face. Thought you were more important than that.” The woman from district eight says.

“I’m not here to show face. I’m here to support Katniss and what I believe in.” Y/N takes a seat, beginning to clean her wounds.

“You sure this is the side you fall on?” She chokes out. “There’s no fancy parties or big houses here.”

Y/N lifts a shoulder. “I never liked the parties and the house wasn’t very homey. The only good thing about it was my family inside.”

“People used to look up to you.”

“That was a long time ago,” Y/N murmurs.

“They will again.” The woman is sure of it, “and when they do, make sure you’re ready. Make sure you stay on the right side of things.”

“I was just trying to survive, couldn’t see beyond that.”

“He’ll kill you for this.” President Snow. “For standing with us.”

Y/N nods, with a tired smile. “Yeah.”

“Then why are you here?”

“This is what I believe in…a new Panem. Where we are equals and have a say in our own lives. It’s worth the risk. It’s gonna take all of us, every person in every district, we all have to fight for it.”

The woman presses her lips together, allowing Y/N to dress her wounds. She says nothing else, looking up at the victor, from time to time. I see you.

It feels good to be seen, by a stranger who owes her nothing. Someone to see her without the tainted film of rose colored glasses.

————————————————————————

“How have things been since your release?” Dr. Aurelius inquires.

“Alright, I guess.” Haymitch is not here of his own free will. “Never gonna be good, given the prohibition you have going on around here. But I’d rather be with my family than locked up a mile away.”

“Tell me about your family.”

“My son’s name is Everest, he’s ten. My daughter, Arista is six and Daisy is four weeks old. Then obviously Y/N and her family. Katniss.” Peeta.

“Were they planned? The children.”

“Yes and no.” Haymitch scrubs a hand over his face.

“Can you explain what that means?”

“I don’t want…” Haymitch pauses, “our children are not burdens, Y/N and I have always said that. Those kids are everything and I don’t want that getting twisted. Ever.”

“Of course.”

“Snow gave us deadlines and we met them. With Everest and Arista, we had a year. In that year Y/N needed to be pregnant.”

“But not Daisy?”

“They screwed around with Y/N’s birth control. We’re fertile people, it doesn’t take much.” Haymitch admits.

“And your marriage, would you call it a happy one?”

“Yes, by my account. But I’m sure she’s told you all about me.” This is a joke, for the most part.

“I can’t say much, as it would be a breach of confidentiality. Still you should know, she speaks highly of you. She loves you very much.”

Haymitch drops his gaze.

“Where did you go just now?”

“Nowhere.” Haymitch brushes it off, “I was just thinking.”

“Thinking about Y/N?”

“Isn’t it fucked up how someone like that could love someone me?”

“In what way?” Dr. Aurelius asks.

“I mean you’ve met her.” Haymitch huffs, “had a few sessions.”

“Sure.”

“She’s special.”

The doctor lets him speak.

“She’s a good person. She’s smart and she’s funny and she deserves the world.” Haymitch shifts in the chair, “she got me instead. Not exactly a fair trade.”

“I don’t think she feels that way.” The doctor informs him.

“Hmm,” Haymitch mulls it over.

“From the sound of it, you have always been very protective. Now you tend the children, so she can aide the rebellion. That must be hard for you.”

Haymitch scoffs, “I want to chase her down and bring her back.”

“Then why haven’t you.”

“If you love something, you set it free or some bullshit like that.”

“You love her deeply.”

“Coin offered to ‘dissolve’ our marriage. Did Y/N tell you that?” Haymitch changes the subject.

Aurelius sighs, “she didn’t mention it.”

“Tell me, oh great one, what does that mean?”

“Her mind is made up about you, Haymitch. Whether it’s right or wrong, no matter who deserves what, the heart wants what it wants. You are what she wants.”

“I want her too,” Haymitch snaps.

“You’ve mentioned that you struggle with the fact that Y/N didn’t get to choose you as a partner. Yet each time she does, you cannot accept that she is choosing you. As though you feel unworthy, unlovable.”

“Is that your official diagnosis?” Haymitch wonders, making no effort to confirm or deny.

The doctor flips quickly between entries in his notebook. “There is no distinction in any area of your relationship, a true lack of boundaries. All of your triumphs and failures, all of your sadness and your joy, is either sourced from her or the lives you’ve created together.” Dr. Aurelius tosses both hands up. “The greatest tragedies ever written are love stories, after all.”

Part 18

Series Taglist: @praline357 @flowercrowns-goodvibes @justheretoparty420 @avocadotoastwithegg @treehouse-mouse @emo-markie @spilled-mi1k @magical-spit @greaser9902 @jessicamellarky @yourebuckingkiddingme @smuha2004 @sendhelplease @ninimackbrews @wittiestrain184 @r1dd1kulus @erenluvr69 @helpimhyperfixating @jackierose902109 @jellybear455 @dreammgc @dadbodfanatic-x @ftdtcmlovr @inky-sun @ms-brek-ker @undercover55655 @mischiefmanaged21 @avoxrising @koiphisch @drwho-ess @daisydaisybilly

#haymitch abernathy x y/n #haymitch x reader #thg haymitch #haymitch x y/n #haymitch abernathy x you #haymitch abernathy #haymitch abernathy x reader #haymitch fanfic #haymitch abernathy x yn #haymitch abernathy fanfic #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #moves & countermoves

[80s4life]

The Things I’ve Never Done Pt.8

Word Count: 2,695

Status: Suggested!

@: @outrosins & numerous lovely Nonnies!

A/N: It;s been like a year of multiple ideas and ways to continue this book, but I’ve finally got the ending in mind. These last chapters are gonna HURT!

Fandom: Titanic 1997

Relationship: Caledon "Cal" Hockley x Brown!Female!Reader

Summary: All dreams come to an end soon enough; and that meant the end of the small vacation on the Titanic. Bonds are formed, broken, and pulled as the last, fond memories of the Titanic come to a close - before its name is encompassed by a dark pit in your heart. 

Warnings: mature language, switches between past and present day Y/N, some angst, fluff, this is April 13th in April 14th, 1912 when the Titanic sinks in the early hours of the morning, dreams of the future, some nostalgia from older Y/N, uncertain future in the end

Masterlist Titanic Masterlist Part One Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4* Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.9   Pt.10 [epilogue]

Taglist: @tangledcopperstrands @snapessecretdiary

{gif is not mine, credits go to @ofdyingdragons​}

Y/N had made her bed that morning, something she didn’t do regularly or without being instructed by her mother. She cleaned her room up and left no traces of dirt behind, skipping breakfast altogether to bask in a long bath. Molly had told the women that she was feeling seasick, allowing her daughter the freedom society only allows rarely.

By lunch, Y/N was draped along a lawn chair on the side deck, reading a novel with a glass of tea. After some choice wording, her mother tore away from the wealthy folk too, and snuck away with her daughter for bonding time. She found her on the deck and played games, describing the shapes of the clouds and just embracing random conversations. It wasn’t much, but it meant the world to Y/N every time they did something like this; to just bask in her companionship and bond with her mother.

And, by night, Y/N sat at the table with the rest of the people once more, claiming she’d felt better with a smile and sly glance at her partners in crime: Caledon Hockley and Molly Brown. It was the same banter, the same gossip. It felt like nothing was out of place and no one had seemed to truly admire the normalcy. 

To Be Continued...

Chapter 8: All Good Things Come To A Bittersweet End

<3rd Person Perspective>

With a glass of wine in her hand, Y/N continues to rock in her chair, eyes blurred as she recounts the memories of decades past. Her eyes are trained on her hand, still holding the sharpened pencil above the drawing in her lap; another one to add to all of her special drawings in the folder on the coffee table beside her. The picture, looking back at her, simply just brings more pain. She can still remember the people she’d met, the roles that were so miniscule then, but mean so much to her now. She can still recall the content happiness, humbled hopes and dreams of the young girl she was. 

That final day was spent dilly dallying and daydreaming, and for once, she recounts feeling whole -  a total and complete fulfillment of what she had on her checklist. She’d found her man of her dreams, saw life for what it was, spent time into education, and was excited for her new adventure in America.

Swirling the alcohol in her glass, she takes a sip. She’d hoped that feeling would’ve lasted. Even now, she fears that feeling would never amount to feel completely and utterly the same again.

///

April 13, 1912

The next day had followed in a blur of events. The poor danced, the rich drank, and everyone talked. As for Y/N, she was found by the stern, cigarette in hand as she watches each individual plume of smoke touch the cold, night air, and disappear. She smirks as she dreams of the future ahead of her and it looks beautiful through her pink shades: a few babies running around buck naked, Cal smiling as he chases them with her placing a hand on her stomach, another to come. They’d be happy with a family of their own, comfortable in their suitable wealth with no other care other than their little bubble they would create.

“There you are,” Cal says softly, his hands going around to encase her waist, head plopping atop her head. “What are you up to?”

“Mischief, of course,” Y/N giggles, one hand going to lay atop his as she finishes off her cigarette. “I was dreaming of our future,” she smiles.

“Ah,” he smirks, “And how does it look?”

Y/N tries to sum up all her feelings into one, beautiful word, choosing them properly, “Gilded and achieved.”

Cal places a kiss on her head, not completely understanding of the choice of words, poking her side to prod her on.

“I would achieve and earn everything I wanted. We would be one, I would be loved and cared for, have a family and live up to my greatest desires. Everything I dreamed I would have as a child would finally finish off the lifelong puzzle I’ve been trying to complete - all I would need would be that final piece.”

“And, what is that final piece?” Cal asks, a look of fear crossing his features as he fears he would not have everything she needed.

“You,” Y/N smiles, turning around in his grasp to wrap her arms around his neck, hands toying with the hairs of his nape. “If I don’t have you, I wouldn’t have that future, would I? At least, not the ending I would hope to obtain without you.”

“I’m right here,” Cal pecks her forehead, “I don’t intend on going anywhere.”

“That’s g-” Y/N is cut off by the sound of boisterous laughter, soon cut off by the company of the pair. 

Jack Dawson and Rose Dewitt Bukater stand before Cal and Y/N, hand in hand with surprise and fear in their eyes. Rose is the first to break the silence, “Cal,” she states, standing defiantly and straight, making sure her hands in Jack’s are known.

“Rose,” Cal says indifferently.

Y/N’s gaze sets upon Cal’s features. He’s fighting an internal war. He knows that he believes Y/N is his forever, but with the sight of Rose, the woman he had been trying to make his wife and future for months, he cannot resist the urge to still fight for her.

“After all this time that I’ve tried to give you everything, to appease your mother and make you both all the more comfortable, you choose him?” Cal asks, a sickness to his tone that causes Y/N to relinquish her grasp on his hand.

She feared this would happen; she feared that she would spend all this time getting to know and love this man for nothing.

“Cal, this does not concern you,” Rose states calmly, trying not to provoke the threatening man.

“This has everything to do with me! What would your mother say? What about your misfortunes, hm? You’d rather be this rat’s whore?”

“I’d rather be his whore than your wife!” Rose yells in defiant freedom. 

Y/N is unable to stand another moment. She’s simply watching the man throw everything away just so he can obtain someone he never had. He simply cannot let the past be the past, and this ruins her. 

With a soft sniff, Y/N tears away from the group, running away from the area to be alone. She starts off on the starboard just as a hand grabs her wrist. “Y/N,” Jack almost questions her, “What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“How could I be alright?” she almost screams at the young man. “I can’t stand there and watch my heart break for the third time! I can’t keep watching him choose her over and over and over again...There’s simply no space for me here.”

“Y/N, this will all work itself out, I’m sure of it. You can’t let a good thing go. They’ll...They’ll learn that they’re not meant for each other. You just have to keep pushing.”

Y/N sniffles as her arms wrap around herself. “They’ve already gotten into this type of issue before, and for all I know, this may be a young girl’s fling. I’ve only known the man for a short time. This could all just be nothing at all,” Y/N concludes, trying to mature herself for the first time in her young adulthood.

Jack groans, “Do you love him?”

“I don’t even know if it’s-”

“The feelings you have right now, in this moment, is it love, Y/N?”

“I-I think so. What does this even-”

“These feelings are strong, yes? And, it’s so strong that you’re willing to die for him, go poor with him, help him when he’s ill?”

“Yes.”

“That’s all that matters, Sugar,” Jack smiles, “That’s love and you better not waste it, even if it seems helpless. Everything can be fixed.”

“God, you sound like my mother. You need to stop keeping her company,” Y/N rolls her eyes playfully, turning back to Cal and Rose, “But, what about them?”

“Oh, he’ll realize he’s an ass and eventually get over his issues.”

“And, Rose?” Y/N giggles.

“She’ll be mine and waltzing off the ship with me.”

“You seem so certain for such a man of...”

“Oh, no, don’t stop there,” Jack giggles, “Continue off of ‘poor misfortunes.’”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Y/N giggles, shoving his shoulder. 

“I know, and I’ll make it all up to her. Just promise we’ll meet again sometime.”

“As long as you’re still in the country, Jack Dawson.”

“Can’t make any promises. It ruins the fun.”

“Then, you’re just a hypocrite then?”

“Sounds about right,” he giggles, jogging away with a wave as Rose tears away from Cal and back around the other direction of the ship’s stern.

Y/N awaits Him with annoyed devotion, arms crossed as Cal catches her eyes. “You have your fun yet?” she asks with annoyance.

Cal simply says nothing, head bowed with stress and uneven thoughts. He starts to walk over to Y/N once more, but he fears if he gets too close, he’d be even more confused than before.

“I know it’s not love we share, Rose and I, but there’s an obligation somewhere in the wind,” Cal starts, eyes still focused on the ship’s starboard planks. “We were - I chased after her for a long time, Y/N. I went through her father, but then he passed away, so I tried to proceed on my own, but she seemed uninterested. I would’ve left her alone, Y/N, I would have, but then her mother came to me. She said everything would be fixed and she’d convince the stubborn girl.”

“So, you do love her,” Y/N tries to remain nonchalant, hands on her hips as if she’s figuring this mystery out with him. She’s trying, she really is, but she can;t help the feeling she would be discarded; that all she had just said to him and the many days prior were just something Cal needed to heal himself and move on. Y/N couldn’t - wouldn’t - be this girl for him: a rebound.

“That’s where I’m lost!” Cal chuckles stressfully, hand going to comb his hair back before he plays with the rings on his fingers. “I was so caught up in the chase, influenced by others, that I lost that spark I thought I had for her. It’s pitiful, really, but all the same painful for both ends. I didn’t mean to bring her through all of this, but I thought it was love that we shared. I just wanted to be that man for her because everyone thought I was. I don’t think I love her anymore Y/N, but I do feel there is a sense of protection and care that I still carry.”

Y/N looks at him impassively, “Well, do you love me?”

“I don’t think I know what love is, Y/N.”

“That’s not good enough, Cal. I know how I feel for you; I’ve told you a million times over, too. I’m willing to set my life down on you, but I can’t do that if you aren’t willing enough to do the same.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“You don’t want to keep me either, it seems.”

“I-I do, Y/N, it’s just difficult,” Cal snaps his eyes to meet hers, hand reaching for hers with a pained look. “I can’t lose you. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.”

Y/N stares at his hand for a moment, debating on whether or not she’d be willing to follow this man with his heart in knots. She wants him, she knows this, but the question is if he wants her. She fears she might walk down this path with him and somewhere in the woods, he decides it was all a mistake.

“I think you should talk to Jack,” Y/N suggests with a small smile. “He’s very smart and a good ear. He gives very good advice, too, and it seems you need it.”

Cal tries to reach his hand out for her to grab once more, but she pulls even farther away. 

“I want you to think this over, Cal, please. I need you to think this over just as much as you do. I don’t want either of use to regret this in the end and I wish for you to be happy. I’m not leaving, not yet. Just - think everything over, and don’t put your heart on me just because you know I need you. I’ll be in my room with my mother when you’ve thought it through,” Y/N smiles warmly. “Besides, even if we don’t work out, we can always be companions and have a crazy story to tell. Maybe cut the infidelity part out.”

Slowly, Y/N avoids Cal’s hands as she leans into him. His arms wrap around her waist as she stands in the embrace. His head leans into the crook of her shoulder in a bone-crushing grasp. She would give anything to hug him back, but it would make him the more confused. 

Her hands come up to cup his face, her thumbs stroking the apple of his cheeks. She smiles with a sadness in her features, eyes slightly glossy. Slowly, she leans in to peck a soft kiss to his forehead, then both eyelids, and finally, his mouth with a featherlight touch.

Just as quickly as she had entered his space, she removes herself completely, the immediate chill returning to Cal’s body and heart. 

“I’ll be waiting,” Y/N smirks over her shoulder, keeping face in front of the man who had broken her and filled her up multiple times in their short while being on the RMS Titanic.

Once she is finally out of view does she let her facade fall, tears brimming her eyes quickly as she makes her way to the bow of the ship, needing some air. She wishes this wouldn’t be so hard, but she knows emotions tend to get in the way of things. What may seem to be such a simple answer would be ignorant to include all the attachments and effects a decision has.

Y/N knows, for her own selfish greed, that she would want Cal to be hers fully, but she also knows that that wouldn’t come about easily. Even if Cal were to pick her tonight, he would still have to learn a life without a woman he had grand intentions for; a man who felt so strongly for a woman and her protection just a few days ago - even if the woman never wanted him.

It’s a hard decision.

Y/N continues to think and mull over her options as she sits on a bench at the front decks, basking in the cold and enjoying the view of the stars. Drawn from her thoughts, in the far distance before her, there’s a huge, dark figure.

She jolts up quickly, fearfully watching as the figure grows closer by the second. It doesn’t take long until the true size of the figure, in its everlasting glory, makes itself apparent.

“Iceberg, straight ahead!” the men yell from their posts above her.

Quickly, Y/N runs back towards the starboard of the Titanic where she had last seen Cal, but she isn’t fast enough. The ships turns sharply to the left, the iceberg coming straight for the right side. Her side. Cal’s side. 

She’s forced to throw herself flush with the wall, the ice slamming onto the starboard as a hard, disastrous screech of metal is met with an unstabling shake. Falling on the deck’s wooden planks, she stares in horror as she feels the premature grief and paralyzing fear.

The Titanic has been hit. 

#caledon hockley #cal hockley #caledon hcokley x reader #cal hockley x reader #caledon hockley imagine #cal hockley imagine #billy zane #billy zane x reader #billy zane imagine #Titanic 1997 #titanic x reader #titanic imagine #xreader #The Things I've Never Done

[strwbmei]

hey mei, what are your top 10 favourite video games?

1. Legend of Zelda : Breath of the Wild - Loved everything about it!! The graphics are stunning, the gameplay is amazing, and the story is easy to understand without playing the other games. I have Tears of the Kingdom, but for some reason, I prefer BOTW much more. Also, the soundtrack is absolutely amazing beyond words!! The one that plays whenever a Ruin Guardian spots you sort of gave me PTSD. Whenever I hear it, I can't help but look towards the source of the sound, get up, and run for my life.

2. Ghost of Tsushima - Everything about this game is a 10/10, but I really liked the combat in particular! There are so many ways you can kill someone, from silently assassinating them to poisoning them to beheading them. Even after the main story, there are still so many side quests and content that are just as fun. Jin Sakai is also very cool and I love how he abandoned his honor as a samurai to protect the people.

3. Eastward - Definitely a must-play if you have a Nintendo Switch. The graphics are unique and colorful yet also somewhat mellow at times. The music is great. All of the characters are so fleshed out and lovable. Not to mention the amount of content in the game, where you have at least one other game inside of it. There's the Earthbound(?) (I forgot what it was called) game inside of the arcades which I still haven't been able to finish to this day, and the Octopia DLC (Really cheap by the way, it was 20$ last time I checked) which is basically a whole other farming game.

4. Honkai Impact 3rd - Of course, HI3 is one of my favorite games. The gacha is very generous compared to other games, the rewards are really good, and the rest speaks for itself. Just the story alone would be enough to make it into my top 10. Story aside, I really love the characters and their designs. Their designs reflect their personality perfectly and all of them are just so lovable. Watching Kiana grow up so mature within only 2 years gives me such an odd feeling. I'm so proud of her, but at the same time, where has the "cheerful idiot" Kiana gone? It feels like only yesterday I was playing through the story and she refused to eat the meal Durandal gave her because there was no one to remove the bones of the fish like Mei usually did.

5. Stardew Valley - Call me basic, but I really fell in love with everything about this game. The music in particular makes me feel so oddly nostalgic. I also have a lot of good memories associated with it. It's one of those games that I play on and off but always end up enjoying no matter what, especially with the use of modding.

6. Dead Cells - Loved it! The combat is so fluid, the monsters are all so unique, the animations are so smooth for a pixel art game, and everything about the gameplay is so enjoyable. I'm a sucker for these types of games, honestly. I sadly haven't had the time to play it for a while now, though...

7. Subnautica - I'm not sure if this counts because even though I have a copy of the game, I've made almost zero progress on it. This is mostly only on my list because I'm a really big fan of sea exploration stuff. I was also particularly obsessed with the idea of making the Cyclops fully self sufficient.

8. Minecraft - I had such a big Minecraft phase back then. I would wear merch to school and sing those parodies thinking I was so cool. No wonder I didn't have any friends during that period of my life. Still, I actually wasn't able to buy the game until like... 2018. I think this would be higher on the list if I had people to play it with and if I could recover my account for it.

9. Animal Crossing : New Horizons - I was obsessed with it during the pandemic, but nowadays I play it on and off. As much as I like the older games, being able to freely place furniture outside is life changing. It's also way easier to change outfits because you can actually see what you're wearing. Not to mention, the graphics are way cuter.

10. Osu! - I got into it because a guy I liked did and ended up becoming better than him. I mostly.played standard, but mania was also fun from time to time. I was ranked at around 4 digits before I had to stop because people were complaining that my keyboard was being way too loud. I just didn't have the money to get a new one at the time, so I ended up deleting the game. Really fun, though! There's a mode for everyone.

#strwb inbox