#episode 24 scared the SHIT out of me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ckret2 · 2 months

Note

this is a little bit of a bizarre question but the way you manage to “flesh out” characters while keeping them consistent is really remarkable to me!

I’m having a lot of trouble making characters feel less ‘one-dimensional’ (especially female characters…It’s like my mind just draws a blank)

I understand it helps that most of the characters you’re writing have pre established personalities, aesthetics, etc. but I still feel like you manage to make the characters your own in a believable way.

do you have any advice for someone with this issue? if not, just know that I’m really really loving Bill-Goldilocks-Cipher and always look forward to the next chapter!!!

so the first thing you have to do is get deeply deeply obsessed with the story and then you have to go on walks fantasizing feverishly about the characters

But more serious answer:

Advice #1: Just take whatever you already know about the character and dig dig dig dig dig.

Take Wendy. She's the cool girl. Her character concept when she was designed was The Cool Girl. She's such a cool girl that by the end of the series she's symbolically represented by a bag of ice. She also says in one episode that she's NOT laid back, she's stressed all the time, because of her family.

Why is a 24/7 stressed teenager trying to give off an air of being cool and chill? Why did she start? What's she getting out of it? Why does she feel the pressure to maintain that facade? If she's so stressed, what's going on inside her head when she interacts with people? Her friends? Her boss? In one episode, she responds to both a request to hang out at a carnival and a request to start a romantic relationship with "yeah, I guess so." It's so passive. Why's she so passive in her relationships? Especially when she's so outwardly tough and assertive? What's the source of this side of her that just goes along with what other people suggest with seemingly no interest of her own—again, including a ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP? How does this relate to her being the "cool girl"? How does this relate to her deliberate decision to portray herself as "the cool girl"? In one episode she gets a scrape and the FIRST THING she does is forcefully tell Dipper NOT to freak out—why is her priority hastening to reassure the people around her before taking care of herself? She's got three younger brothers—is that how she interacts with them? Is one of them scared of blood? Does she see Dipper like one of her little brothers? Elder sisters often get handed the responsibility to act like mini-moms at young ages—did that happen to Wendy? Her mom is GONE, did that INCREASE the pressure on her? Is that why her family stresses her? What's it like in that house? Being pushed into acting like a mini-mom is a very traditionally feminine role—nurturing—which is at odds with Wendy's kinda soft butch presentation and way of speaking/acting—but is it at odds with Wendy's overall behavior? Following along with what the guys do rather than deciding for herself, passively accepting romantic propositions rather than pursuing someone she actually wants? Is she comfortable in those roles or does she feel pushed into them? Does it grate at her? Does she ever want to act assertive rather than just appear like an assertive person? Why do we never see her "we're WOMEN and we TAKE WHAT WE WANT" side more than once—and is it significant that she only pulls that out when there aren't any guys around? Does being the cool girl—supportive, accepting, nurturing, passive—chafe at her? Why's she do it?

Just keep digging. Overanalyze those tiny character details. Tie them together. Become the "I've connected the two dots" "You didn't connect shit" "I've connected them" meme. You can, will, and must connect the two dots. Treat every character like a mystery to figure out.

But your starting point is always whatever you already know about the character. You're building off of that foundation. You throw NOTHING out the window, buster—EVERY detail is important. You're not just wholesale making shit up—you're extrapolating wildly from whatever you already have. Making shit up always feels unanchored and vague. I said in an ask a few days ago that I headcanon Wendy likes that "stomp clap hey" hipster music genre. I didn't grab that randomly. I grabbed it because when we see her bedroom, she's got a poster with a banjo on it; she's super stoked to go to the Woodstick festival, and when she shows some of the featured indie bands to Dipper she focuses on two of the hipsteriest-sounding ("Scarves Indoors," "Wood Grain on Everything") and the apparent headlining band is the Handlebar Bros (just look at them); and she desperately wants to move to Portland, which in 2012 was the hipster capitol of North America—that's the culture she wants to escape to. No making shit up!! BUILD OFF WHAT YOU HAVE.

And Advice #2: you're telling a story, here. You have a plotline. Shape your characters to serve the story you're telling. What kind of a story are you telling? I'm telling a story about the destructive consequences of being a "special" kid—gifted kids, child celebrities, pageant kids, kids pushed to fill adult roles too young—the perfectionism, the burnout, the fear that anything short of excellence is insufficiency, the need for external validation, seeking love through fame rather than intimacy. When I'm looking at shallow characters and seeing how to fit them into the story, I'm prodding at them to see whether anything we know about them holds the potential to comment on themes like that—and then, if they do, that gives me an direction to dig in that already personally fascinates me, because it helps me weave this character into the story I already want to tell. If a character doesn't inherently carry any of those themes—then what can I do with the contrast between this character and the others?

And then, sometimes, I'm telling a story about two guys getting hunted down by a tooth fairy that desperately wants to steal one's teeth and a dentist that's willing to do anything she says but not motivated to furiously avenge her when she's defeated. Now I've got to make up two characters completely from scratch, BUT I don't have to make them up aimlessly. I already know the exact shapes they need to be fill their assigned positions in the story—I know what they need to do to make the story work—and now I can build them from the edges in, to make them the kinds of people they need to be to perform the actions I want to serve the plot they're in. And from there I can build them just like any character—I take the things they need to be, the things I already know about them (the dentist obeys the fairy but doesn't want to avenge her) and I dig dig dig (why would he not want to avenge her if he's so obedient? Does he obey her out of obligation but not true loyalty? Why? What kind of a person does this make him?)

And the tl;dr of all of that advice is:

so the first thing you have to do is get deeply deeply obsessed with the story and then you have to go on walks fantasizing feverishly about the characters

#anonymous #ask #about my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

60 notes · View notes

wen-kexing-apologist · 3 months

Text

Dead Friend Forever: Squicks and Triggers

Hello friends, I am here to sing my praises for Dead Friend Forever and implore as many people as possible to watch it. I know that it is in the horror/slasher genre and there are some pretty heavy things going on in it, so in case you want to jump aboard the incredible writing, story-boarding, editing train that is DFF but are worried about the content, here are as many of the possible squicks and triggers I could find. Color coded time stamps are where something plot relevant happens. If you are not able to watch that scene you are welcome to reach out to me via DM or ask for a summary of what occurs:

Episode 1

00:31- A bloody altar with offerings that include intestines

00:43-00:51- creepy masked figure wielding an ax followed by significant blood splatter

01:00-01:19- intro sequence includes creepy masked figure, gun, bloody handprints, knife

1:35-1:55- blood and intestines, mentions of ritual animal sacrifice, close up on intestines crawling with maggots. Reference to mass suicide (These are all only on screen for less than a second at a time, and interspersed among the primary visual of the main characters sitting in the back of a truck)

02:52-03:00- Vomiting

16:17-16:30- two audio cue semi-jumpscares, no visuals and nothing happens

18:40-18:41- Jumpscare

19:16- 19:28- random disembodied hand painted completely black appears from nowhere and slides across a character’s crotch

20:10-20:14- jump scare of creepy masked figure and under scoring

20:33-20:48- Blood on ground

25:12-25:23- sounds of screaming

25:50 - blood trail on the ground

26:01- masked figure appears

26:12- character run straight in to a sharp branch and is impaled

29:41-29:45- blood

30:16-30:19- blood, including blood pouring out of a mouth

30:34-30:38- blood, including blood pouring out of a mouth

36:38-36:40- jumpscare

37:37- Blood, catatonic person impaled by branch visible throughout the scene

39:28-39:29- jumpscare

39:33- 39:35- creepy masked figure

40:10-40:12- jumpscare

40:12-42:27- scene is interspersed with visual of unconscious, impaled character

Please note 42:27 is the end of the episode, next episode preview occurs after that, there is potentially triggering stuff in the preview. For space saving reasons I am not going to do the previews, just skip them.

Episode 2

General Content Warning: At many different points in the show you will see a character catatonic and impaled laying on the couch. He will (for the most part) remain this way throughout Episode 2-4. From this point forward I am only going to add squicks and triggers around that character unless some sort of change or special attention is called to the character.

Episode 2 begins at 00:40

004:47-05:09- intro sequence

05:26-5:45- knocking, lights flickering, objects falling and breaking

06:04-7:00- horror movie shit, door unlocks, smoke appears, creepy masked figure enters with heavy breathing, close up on mask with blood, cut after a swipe with an ax

10:48-10:52- flashback to the creepy shit that happened in the bathroom [6:04-7:00]

1:47-12:49- close up of bloody impalement

15:14-15:26- a raised and bumpy rash akin to boils

15:26-15:28- creepy masked figure seen in mirror

23:18-23:25- creepy sound

24:30-24:32- close up of the impalement wound with squelch sound effect

26:38: jumpscare

26:59-27:02- egregious amounts of blood pouring out of every visible orifice

27:04-27:12- visual of blood dripping down a character’s face from the eye sockets and the mouth

27:13-27:55- character being strangled to unconsciousness, appearance of creepy masked figure in background

28:00-28:04- disembodied, agonized screaming

28:32-28:35- bloody rag and knife

36:52-36:53- man drives straight through a garotte stretched across the road

37:06- 37:11- decapitated body spurting blood

38:02-38:04- close up of decapitated head

38:49-38:58- gagging sounds

39:09-39:11- decapitated head

39:53- jumpscare of creepy masked figure

43:17-43:20- decapitated head

43:33-43:40- decapitated head, decapitated body, something starts moving underneath the decapitated body’s t-shirt

Episode 3

Recap is 00:00-03:09 and contains potentially triggering content (as listed above)

03:10-03:16- decapitated body and then decapitated head depicted on screen

06:50-07:17- Show intro- same deal

10:36-10:38- dead body

12:27-12:47- close up of decapitated head, followed by pooling blood and the sound of flies, squelching and something moving underneath the shirt of the decapitated corpse

12:58-13:00- something moving underneath the shirt of the decapitated corpse with squelching

13:11-13:28- something moving underneath the shirt of the decapitated corpse with squelching, close up of decapitated head, dog sniffing at the decapitated corpse

15:25-15:27- jumpscare, creepy masked figure throws an ax

22:04- character grabs at the impaled object, squelching sound

25:18-25:21: blood

26:12-26:18- significant blood smear

26:49-27:09- bloody tapestries, bloody altar, bloody statues

27:23-27:33- bloody tapestries, bloody altar, blood splatter

28:37-28:46- bloody figurines, intestines and other organs covered in blood and maggots underscored with creepy piano music

30:22-30:28- bloody altar, bloody statuettes

30:29-31:40- attempted ax murder by creepy masked figure, it approaches from behind, its mask is covered in blood, there is a grapple but no one is maimed

32:50- 34:12- creepy masked figure on screen pushing over empty coffins to find where people are hiding

34:43-35:02- characters trapped in coffin

36:38-37:49- attempted ax murder #2, two characters being strangled, creepy masked figure on screen

38:43-39:21- seizure on screen

40:27-40:52- character threatened with gun

40:57-41:06- creepy masked figure

Episode 4

00:10-00:40 - Show Intro

00:40- - Show recap, includes potentially triggering content from Ep 3

01:47-02:26- seizure on screen

03:20-05:30- character held at gunpoint

05:32-05:40- close up of a bloody impalement injury followed by choking sounds from seizing character

06:05-07:30- close up of a wound which is then sutured (suturing begins at 06:42)

08:15-09:09- characters trapped in coffin, starting to lose oxygen (they do escape)

11:42-11:56- creepy masked figure

12:23-12:25- jumpscare

13:07-13:09- silhouetted figure lurking in background with creepy whisper sound effects

13:35-13:49- figure reappears in background with creepy whisper sound effects, character shown covered in blood

13:57-13:59- close up of blank faced character covered in blood

19:23-19:27- vomiting

20:19-20:24- vomiting

24:38-24:41-FLASHING LIGHTS

24:43-25:00- creepy masked figure, on screen seizure, lots of rapid camera cuts of someone choking interposed over the seizure

25:01-25:06- blood dripping out of an eye, eye opens red and full of blood

26:52-27:33- unconscious body sits up, turns head slowly, and then looms menacingly over someone while creepy music plays underneath

27:36-27:49- very creepy smile, impaled object is slowly and painfully starting to be pulled out of someone’s body

28:00-30:24- creepy smile, gaping wound seeping blood, close up of wooden stake dripping blood, threatening character at gunpoint, struggling for a gun.

30:29-32:27 character death, distressed sobbing, CPR

37:56-39:58- characters being threatened at gunpoint

NOTE REGARDING EPISODES 5-8: One of the main threads of episode 5-8 is pretty severe bullying, there are overtones of romantic feelings between an adult and a minor that does eventually lead to a sexual relationship, lots of mental illness related plot, etc. I am going to mark some of the more explicit scenes when it comes to this, but just want to warn in advance that I will not be able to time stamp everything because these are fundamental to the plot

Episode 5

00:10-00:40- show intro

00:40-01:10- recap, which includes some potential triggers from ep 4

45:32-46:05- severe psychological distress

46:05-46:17 suicide attempt via drug overdose (interrupted before anything happens)

Episode 6

00:00-00:40- show intro

15:05-17:26 scene contains hints at attraction between teacher and student

23:08-23:12- jump scare of creepy masked figure

23:19-24:27- creepy masked figure + jumpscare

33:00-33:23- character being beaten

35:57-37:13- police interrogation that includes flashing camera lights

38:50-39:50- character in emotional distress while parents fight about him in his presence

42:53-44:06- suicide attempt via drug overdose (interrupted with character being forced to spit pills out)

Episode 7

00:00-00:40- show intro

01:04-01:10- character being forced to spit out pills during suicide attempt (in the recap)

19:00-19:02- use of the “r” word

24:00-24:23- creepy masked figure, character being strangled

26:10-30:00- clear attraction between teacher/student, including the teacher putting his hand on the student’s knee and holding hands

30:00-31:00- flirting and kissing between teacher and student (kissing begins at 30:34)

40:08-43:33- teacher/student with sex scene (sex with minor beginning at 41:34)

44:02-44:50- teacher/student sex scene

45:00-45:23- revenge porn posted on social media, video of teacher/student sex visible

49:25- 49:54- psychological distress that includes character hitting himself in the head repeatedly

Episode 8

00:00-00:40- show intro

05:23-05:28- implication that character was hit by car

06:00-06:46- parents arguing about how bad their child is while he watches

07:44- 08:42- emotional distress

09:20-09:22- child slapped by parent

11:07- 12:04-psychological distress

13:19-13:35- person impaled

13:40-13:47- creepy masked figure

13:52-14:12- lots of blood coming out of orifices, strangulation, creepy masked figure

14:12-15:17- Severe emotional and psychological distress

24:30-25:37- creepy masked figure + knife attack

29:38-30:40- police interrogation

43:42-44:02- creepy masked figure and character being strangled

#dead friend forever #dff #dff the series

87 notes · View notes

inbarfink · 9 months

Text

For a while now I’ve been considering the option of, like, what if… There’s a new DHMIS season or like a whole new version/adaptation - and they’re not not gonna follow up in any way on the stuff with Lesley from the first season in DHMIS TV. And the final few episodes of that new season are gonna have, like, Duck or something come face-to-face with some totally different ominous secret about how the World of DHMIS works that seems to totally contradict both the stuff with Roy and the machine in ‘Dreams’ AND the shit with Lesley and the stairs in “Electricity”.

Like, I’m not just thinking about it as a ‘haha funny troll!". My thoughts are… So, one of the recurring themes of “Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared”, especially in the TV Show, is like the Existential Horror of Being a Fictional Character. And Creativity has been a theme since, well, the very start. And DHIMS always loved its 4th-Wall-Break, always loved to remind us that this is a show.

So what if the Hidden Truth about why their world is so Wrong is just… the real actual truth? You know, that they are a bunch of fictional puppets for a show created by Becky Sloan, Joe Pelling, and Baker Terry?

And for the characters that would be just as much of a horrifying eldritch revelation as anything we could dream up for them, y’know? That they’ve been created basically just to entertain strange unseen beings via their misery, that they are being watched 24/7 in the sense that when they are not watched they basically don’t exist, that their life and wills are totally controlled by these unknowable strange beings who possess a level of free will they can’t even conceive of.

And they can’t even really perceive this truth fully or reach the actual real world cause, well, they can’t exist in the actual real world or interact with their real creators. Because once you take them out of the context of the show, they just go back into being puppets and costumes. The DHMIS creators could probably pretend to have a conversation with their puppets, or hypothetically the DHIMS characters could talk with a fictionalized version of their creators - but a real interaction between them is metaphysically impossible.

So the climaxes of both the Webshow and the TVshows are, like, Red Guy and Yellow Guy (respectively) coming as close to understanding the nature of their reality as their little fictional brains can bare - which they process as these weird surrealist metaphors because that is as far as they can grasp it before their brains literally become felt and cotton.

Red Guy, especially in the Webshow, was always the one most exacerbated by having to deal with the Teachers. He very much does not enjoy being the Main Character in a story. And he’s generally kind of a cynical pessimist. And so for him, Reality - the DHMIS Webshow - seems like some sort of ominous and impersonal machine that exist for nothing but tormenting himself and his friends.

Roy might be involved because, being one of his friends’ parents - that makes him both a sort of authority figure, and a creator of sorts. So for Red Guy’s mind he’s like a stand-in for their actual creators (since Red Guy doesn't know his own parents - he's at least the closest he's got. Plus it is Yellow Guy that has become the target of the torment by the final episode. That whole thing with Yellow Guy and Roy really is a creator tormenting his creation) . Or maybe it has something to do with Roy being credited on all of the episodes?

Implying he’s some sort of liminal being with connections to both the real and fictional world?

Meanwhile, Yellow Guy is a lot more willing to play along and try to enjoy the Lessons he is given. He’s not as stressed about being free as Red Guy is most of the time. And we know his sense of imagination can be very sweet and adorable.

But at the same time,Yellow Guy suffers a LOT as a result of the Lessons. And when he is fully charged, he pretty quickly becomes uncomfortable with the teachers’ condescension and the strangeness of their lives. So Lesley’s whole setup showcases his more conflicted feelings about the Reality. On one hand there is something charming and whimsical about Lesley, but she’s also kinda ominous and creepy.

And Yellow Guy’s Enchanted Cyborg Intelligence gives him a… slightly more accurate understanding of the situation. Yellow Guy’s Reality, with the Big and Bigger Boys, shows he has some understanding that this world exist for some sort of edutainment (where Red Guy only saw it as torment for the sake of torment) and his idea for the Person Behind Everything is… at least Mostly a live-action human.

Making her a step closer to the actual creatives working on DHMIS compared to Roy.

And the extra set of stairs might show that, like, Yellow Guy at least has the potential to understand that his Reality is not quite the end of the story. Like that, yeah, there IS another level of understanding above meeting Lesley - and that is the Real World with the real creators, the one he could never actually meet.

And now the question is, what would Duck’s Reality be? What would he see, if he had a chance to peek behind the curtain?

90 notes · View notes

lastoneout · 3 months

Text

Okay I'm finally sitting down to properly watch the PJO series so here's an episode-by-episode live blog I guess. (Fair warning, I haven't read the books since I was a teenager, I am a smidge of an apologist for the films, and my favorite adaptation so far has been the musical.)

Episode One:

All of the actors are doing a really good job, I especially like Sally.

The costume design for both the monsters and the humans is pretty killer. I want Percy's sweater.

I also love the little seaside cabin and want to live there!!!

This is such a mild gripe BUT as someone with dyslexia I wish there was a better way to visually depict it without like, doing the swapping letters thing cuz that's just not what it's actually like at all.

Gabe maybe feels a little too funny. Like I'm supposed to hate him and think it's justified that he deserves to be turned into stone at the end, this version of him is really.....toned down, and his banter with Percy and Sally was fun to watch. I should hate him, but really he just came across as unpleasant. Less abusive asshole and more "old married couple who share interests but can't communicate without shouting" you know?

Loved Grover's little "I'm 24 actually" lmao that was great.

Not a fan of Percy immediately recognizing the Minotaur within a millisecond of it appearing before the audience even got a good look at it. Like, I just sat there thinking "how can he even see it?" rather than feeling scared of a big monster barreling at them.

The action is uh....fine? Feels a little lackluster. Or kinda....divorced from the rest of the show weirdly?? Idk it makes me feel like I'm watching a movie of a movie if that makes sense?? But we'll see where they go with it. (I know banter during a fight isn't realistic and people make fun of Marvel for it, but like...it helps to have at least a little talking. We don't wanna be Man of Steel.)

I feel like there's been a few "slightly out of sync ADR" moments but they weren't too distracting.

Pacing into Sally saying goodbye felt a little long, kinda took the shock of her dying out of the scene, but the actress REALLY sold all the emotional beats so I'll forgive it.

I LOVE the credits sequence!!! Reminds me of the designs on that one box set of the books in a really cool way.

Episode Two:

Oh yes the ugly ass neon orange shirts are here bless!

FUCK YES THAT'S DIONYSUS BAYBEEE!! My ONLY note is that he def could have turned up the energy a little, but that's probably just bcs I love how loud and unpleasant he is in the musical and I also know how unhinged this actor can be.

Chiron is such a delight <3

I like the cabins too, way better than how I imagined them as a kid reading the books lol

Oh, I can see why the new fans fell for Luke so hard.

Grover assuming a human being squished would be like an old banana is very funny. Felt very book-humor in a good way.

Clarisse!!

Oh damn actual disabled half-bloods, very cool!

Minor but I can't actually tell what Percy did wrong with the bow? Weird editing I guess.

Aside from that I actually love a good "fuck up" montage, I honestly wish it were a little longer.

Probably doesn't matter but I don't get having them burn the food after they've started eating? I thought that was a before you sit down type thing.

Percy burning the blue candy to try to talk to his mom was sweet tho T_T

"real friends" hahahaha.....yeah.......about Luke.......

yay! hazing!

Oh I love Annabeth already >:D

Thalia.....is pronounced differently than I thought....?

(I'm sorry I'm too much of a fan of 'Tree on the Hill' for this exposition dump. That shit hits harder when coming from Grover.)

Percy giving Annabeth the "actually I suck and my self esteem is riding on this so like pls don't ask me to do anything hard T_T" talk is just, so good lmao

ofc he doesn't know what's going on Annabeth you didn't tell him anything

Okay the action is a lot better when it's between the actual characters and doesn't involve a 3D monster, though I still had trouble following all the hits Percy was taking.

Oooh I can see why people did so much art of Percy being claimed that was a good shot.

FUCK YEAH TELL HIM YOU'RE SALLY JACKSON'S SON

(I hope they kept the Oracle in the attic...)

Okay I have to go do some things and then I'll be back for more!

#long post #loo watches pjo #pjo spoilers

29 notes · View notes

giulliadella · 19 days

Text

There's one thing about Hazbin Hotel fandom that incredibly pisses me off. It's those people who, when you say that you really hate Valentino, reply with "Well Alastor is the same as Valentino and you like him, so you're a hypocrite."

And that's so not true. Alastor and Valentino have some similarities, both being overlords and manipulative pricks, but they are NOT the same.

Firstly, just look at the way Alastor treats the people whose souls he owns vs. Valentino.

Alastor owns Husk and Niffty, but neither of them seem to be abused on a daily basis, which Angel does experience with Valentino. Alastor and his souls have friendly banter and conversations, whilst Valentino only sees Angel as a money making prompt that he can use however he pleases. I believe that the main difference between them is that Valentino sees the souls he owns as his property, just things to play with and profit from, while Alastor sees them as people.

The scene where Alastor scares off Husk in episode 5 actually proves my point. In that episode Alastor was already irritated by Lucifer's presence and Mimzy's interference didn't help. When Husk came to him, he sounded actually worried for Alastor's safety. That is not a behavior of someone who feels like a trapped slave. Alastor responds by pissing off Husk by calling him his pet cat, which is something Husk despises hearing about. Being angry, Husk slips one of the most intimate pieces of information about Alastor - that the mighty radio demon sold his soul as well. How would Husk know this if he and Alastor aren't close? Maybe he was there when it happened, but I highly doubt it. I believe that Alastor told him that as a secret that Husk had to keep, maybe to help him if his deal gets too much for Alastor alone to handle. By revealing that, husk broke Alastor's trust and his patience, so Alastor told him off by reminding him that he's owned and scaring the living shit out of him. BUT HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY HURT HIM. Five minutes later Husk was fine, he was eating popcorn and gossiping with Angel.

And now look at Valentino's behavior when Angel ticks his nerves. Valentino immediately jumps to violence, he beats Angel physically and later abuses him sexually by forcing him to do sex work. He is literally drugging Angel, demanding that he stays with him 24/7, then he's lovebombing. Valentino exerts control by being an abusive monster. He doesn't see Angel as a person. To him, Angel exists just to make money and this level of abuse caused Angel to have a completely warped image of himself. Angel is trying to destroy himself so that Valentino would leave him alone. This is a completely different level of abuse than what Husk experiences.

And the "But Alastor is a serial killer" argument is also bad. Because we have no idea what kind of overlords he killed. Maybe Alastor killed those overlords to free the souls that were abused by them. The only overlords he didn't kill were Rosie and Zestial and they both seem like respectful people (I can't tell that for Zestial with certainty because he was on screen for like 5 minutes, but Rosie is definitely a good overlord who's treating her souls as people and she's making sure that they are well-fed, well-dressed and safe in her little town). So, a serial killer that is killing slave owners who treat their souls like shit is as bad as serial rapist, sexual abuser who profits from exploiting people that he abuses? Really?

Are both Alastor and Valentino awful people who own souls? Yes.

But are they the same? No, absolutely not.

All that said, maybe I'll be proven wrong in future seasons, but with all the information we have as of now, I can attest to the fact that Alastor is a better person than Valentino, despite all of his flaws, cannibalism and all that, simply because he doesn't profit off of other people's suffering and because he treats his souls as people instead of things.

#rant #rant post #hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel angel dust

16 notes · View notes

bengiyo · 1 year

Text

My School President Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Most of the week I was actually ready to finish this show and begin anticipating its impacts. Now I just know I'm going to miss these losers.

Last week, Chinzhilla lost Hot Wave, and we spent the episode watching them grapple with yet another defeat: this time on the biggest stage yet. They decided to go back to the beach to honor their wishes, and we watched the group tear apart at the seams. Still, Yak came through with some perspective, Tiwson with some food, and Tinn with the final performance for the band at prom. Tinn's mom is aware of his relationship with Gun, but is trying to be a good mom and keep her anxieties to herself and her husband.

Oh right, we're picking up with Tinn's mom asking Tinn directly about Gun.

Not them cutting between both moms! Don't make me compare them!

Fine, let's compare. Tinn and Potjanee have this huge wall between them in their relationship that seems founded entirely on her expectations of Tinn. It's hard for well-behaved children to be open with their parents when they've thrived so long on praise for meeting those expectations. On the other hand, Gun and Gim have struggled and lost a lot together, and so much of their relationship is about Gim not letting Gun give up on his dreams. So, of course Gun can tell his mom about Tinn and it mostly be a formality and yet another excuse for them to hug and reassure each other.

I do feel for Potjanee. Seeing your son scared because you might ask about the person he cares about can't feel good, and there's no obvious way of fixing it at this point. However you've raised him has convinced him that he can't trust you with this. That's actually just so sad.

I get these two agreeing to continue as they are. The reality that some of your families won't accept you is unfortunately a norm for many viewers.

This Canon ad is cute, but anyone on the school network can access this printer???

The boyfriend era is fun.

Tiwson said you will absolutely give him his flowers.

The homophobia creeping at the edges is an unfortunate reminder of my own adolescence. I do like that the show is highlighting that it impacts queer girls too.

Irritated, jealous Gun is so demanding.

A tandem bike! My goodness.

Oh, I like them sliding in cute boyfriend kisses first. That's such a good choice, because they've actually been together for a while.

Phat, we're asking about juniors now??? I've been asking about this for like six episodes!

I really think we as a global society should stop taking pictures and videos of people on the streets and using them as content. What sucks so much about this is that Gun is finally willing to be openly affectionate with Tinn. He decides to kiss his boyfriend on their date, and now someone is going to take that joy from them. It's not like they were hooking up in the park, and yet here we are.

I love Chinzhilla with my whole heart.

Kajorn saying he quits if they're not on the same page, and Gun coming behind to say he already used the same lie Tiwson suggested...but Tinn doesn't want to lie anymore....set to a sad piano version of Let Me Tell You...oof.

Not Gun using Tinn's nose suggestion to keep from crying in the rain.

Best Boy Tinn is not gonna let this pull them apart. Interesting that we just saw Fourth and Gemini hug tightly in Moonlight Chicken. Gemini places arm in a similar way here, too.

I'm installing an EMP on every queer so that we can demolish people's phones when they record us.

Very much enjoying Sound and Win in the finale. I will miss all of Chinzhilla. I hope they appear in the Our Skyy 2 episode.

See, and this is why I never turned on Potjanee. I know some of y'all feel some kinda way about her, but here we are. These boys have not even been out for 24 hours and the shit is already piling. She asks, "Why aren't other people as kind as the characters in the series we watched?" Good question, ma'am. Our lives are not fictional, and we face the horrors daily. It's the dad saying, "We can't force other people, honey. It's down to us whether we're as kind to our son as those in the series." I see they learned Uncle Tong's lesson. Now go stand beside your son.

Not Tinn whispering the name order thing to Gun and Gun immediately asserting that his name is first!!

Having adults you trust being casually homophobic is so damaging.

Gemini has a fantastic eye roll. We saw it on episode 5 of Moonlight Chicken, too.

KAJORN!!!! COME THROUGH, BABY BOY! HIT AGAIN! HIT HIM FOR ME, TOO!!

What did I say?? Don't you ever lay hands on someone else's child! I SEE YOU, POTJANEE! YOU ARE INVITED TO BRUNCH!!

And this is how you make it right with your son. You show him he can trust you by standing in front of those who would make him feel lesser.

Okay, I like the outfits Chinzhilla picked!

They're playing You Got Ma Back. 😭 I love them so much.

Now they're doing Come Closer! I do love Ford's voice.

Oh I love Rock & Star as a song from Gun to Tinn.

I love getting Tinn back on stage again.

POTJANEE!!!!

I'm gonna need Gun to stop looking at Tinn's lips!

I'm so glad Gun got into a program he wanted. I can't take any more losses for this boy.

And here I was living in a world without Texas Chicken ads.

Oh, Sound and Win. I'm going to miss your dynamic. Look at Winny and Satang giving two solid kisses.

Poor Phat. Yo dropped him so fast.

Tinn and Gun are so cheesy. I love them.

Not me crying over Chinzhilla again!

I like the notes for their juniors and not showing any actors. It would lead to the wrong kind of speculation, and this lets GMMTV pick up this setting again any way they want.

Not @respectthepetty getting into my head about Gun's blue socks and Tinn's red shirt when he formally meets Tinn's parents.

I love Tinn's dad. He's embarrassing in only the way a loving father could be. He's also constantly rooting for Tinn.

We get 'eating' jokes and a sweet kiss in bed to close out the series. I'm good.

And they verse? We love to see it.

Wow. Just amazing. I loved this show.

Final Verdict: 10, Highly Recommended. I've been in queer media since I was a teen almost 20 years ago. I have experienced a lot of wins and losses as a viewer of BL. In so many ways this show healed any gripes I had with early productions like Lovesick, Make It Right, etc. This show is damn-near perfect. It's so heartwarming. I loved all of this. It's a show about a bunch of losers trying to help each other, and there's nothing more beautiful than that. We now have my new default recommendation for people curious about BL after coming off something sweet in the West.

#my school president meta #my school president #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

108 notes · View notes

staysuki · 2 years

Text

HEARTS FULL OF HONEY | h.hj smau

after rescuing a dog in the streets, you slowly become close with the anonymous owner who was more than thankful for your help. as conversations turn deeper and a friendly bond pushes you two closer, you're yet to find out how far apart you actually are from each other.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (they're both huge nerds). slow burn idiots to lovers

genre: FLUFF FLUFF, crack, mild-angst, contemporary (mid-20s), strangers to lovers but they're also both dumb

warnings: not much (will put in warnings if smth comes up). swearing, vulgar language, if this was in the cinemas it'll probs be R-13

episodes:

01 - that guy™️

02 - when your bestfriend hates small dogs

03 - suffering at work but i get that bag

04 - that moment when someone offers you a fully paid trip to france

05 - almost exposing myself in private twt

06 - when they send a pic

07 - forgetting to change accounts

08 - even half the face is cute

09 - everybody loves new york shitty

10 - my manager is too mean

11 - becoming a fan

12 - just overall winning in life

13 - meeting the famous popstar

14 - you make me feel better

15 - i'm so scared i'm gonna shit my pants

16 - receiving anonymous flowers are either sweet or creepy

17 - your best friend missed but landed a bullseye

18 - the reason why i don't do lives is because i fuck up a lot

19 - oh is for disappointment

20 - there was definitely an attempt

21 - when i'm happy, things go to shit

22 - being with a loved one makes things easier

23 - was i smooth with that one

24 - and you thought i couldn't be worse

25 - might go down on my knees maybe

26 - i have the best family ever

27 - why are all my cousins so mean to me

28 - fortunately your best friend still doesn't know

29 - meeting the famous popstar (2)

30 - when it's hard to know people's motives

31 - can't help but be a fan

32 - people love bullying me

33 - when someone comes over so you gotta clean

34 - the moment of failure was there

35 - ready to risk it all

36 - when his older cousin comes for you

37 - manager has your back

to be updated...

(mm/dd/yy)

date started: 06/01/22

date finished: -

mastertag: @leagreenly @90s-belladonna @fuzzylard @loveliebri @chimmybaek7 @todorokiskitten @lilacdreams-00 @ethereallino @ninjaleeknow @trials--error @hey-i-really-miss-you @multifandomizer @aerastus @caratinylyfe @kdhvier @hibuki-chan @blaaiissee @skzoddinaries @suhnnyskiess @beaann

#skz smau #skz #stray kids smau #stray kids #stray kids social media au #skz social media au #hearts full of honey #honey smau #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin smau #hyunjin smau #hyunjin social media au #hwang hyunjin social media au

907 notes · View notes

sweetchcolate · 2 months

Note

Hi~ if you're interested, here's a scenario for you:

While talking with an acquaintance, the conversation drifts into the topic of anime since they learn you've watched quite a few shows already. They ask you for recommendations and, when pressed for specifics, they say something along the lines of "I don't really have a specific preference." (This is, of course, untrue—everyone has their yays and nays, and maybe this person just doesn't know theirs. Since they're just an acquaintance, you probably wouldn't know either.)

So as you look into their gleaming curious eyes:

What will you consider before giving a recommendation(s)?

What show(s) would you recommend?

(Note: this is entirely for funsies so please feel free to opt out or to take your time! ☺)

Damn this is like my worst nightmare come true 😂 It's so hard to give recommandation because it depends on one's personal taste, but also a person's state of mind (if you don't want to watch a drama because you're not in the mood for it, you won't want to watch a show even if it's the greatest drama ever produced), openess to new experiences, and tolerance to bullshit such as 2nd hand embarrassment/fanservice/anime grunts/etc.

I'm basing this a lot on the weeb/ass/shit scale, which grades anime by the amount of anime/japanese culture knowledge needed to enjoy it, the amount of fanservice, and its overall quality. But within each tier, you could probably create subtiers (genre subtier, trope subtier, music subtier, etc,).

To note: a lot of the recs are series I watched recently or remember at the top of my mind, so there's this bias to consider.

Depending on how well I know my acquaintance and their tastes, I would go like this:

entry level. something which is easily accessed and understood by most people with minimal (to none) anime/Japan culture knowledge: most if not all Studio Ghibli movies, Cowboy Bebop, Fullmetal Alchemist, maybe Inuyasha (because of like cultural osmosis and its impact on the early 2000s anime scene), Raven of the Inner Palace, Akagami no Shirayukihime, slice of life or introspective shows (such as Sousou no Frieren's first cour, Spy x Family)

slightly above entry level. something which needs a bit of trope/cultural knowledge (like the importance of high school student councils or usual HS/romance/love triangle tropes), but could be appreciated even without because of solid writing/animation and minimal (to none) fanservice/2nd hand embarrassment: Mob Psycho 100, Akatsuki no Yona, Noragami, Skip to Loafer, Kimi ni Todoke, Sailor Moon, Neon Genesis Evangelion to an extent (with warning about the way the plot goes wild and the fanservice and innuendo between teens and adults), Kusuriya no Hitorigoto, Detective Conan

something which requires a good grasp/recognition of tropes as well as willing to engage and think because of the way the anime is tackling and deconstructing tropes: Princess Tutu, RGU (with a lot of content warnings)

classic shonen vibes (aka fanservice galore, tournament arc/powering up tropes, etc): Kimetsu no Yaiba, early Naruto or Bleach

mindfuck but good: Mononoke, NGE (to an extent)

good/entertaining but the fanservice is going to be a MAJOR turn off: Soul Eater, Ranma 1/2, Lupin III movies/OVAs

You might have noticed but most of the series I've listed are relatively short, about 12-24 episodes (except for Inuyasha, SM, FMA, DetCo, and Ranma which are >100 episodes), since I think recommending a long-running series might scare some people away. That (and/or the pretty important amount of fanservice), is also why I didn't include big 'staples' like Naruto, Bleach, YYH, HXH, etc. regardless of my personal enjoyment or taste.

Most of what I like are fantasy/romances (like SAFT, My Happy Marriage, KamiHaji) or niche shows like Cybersix. I wouldn't recommend these to an acquaintance because of how close these series can be to me and how I don't want to put them up for judgement. I can be a bit defensive of my taste ^^

Thank you for the ask! It wasn't an easy exercise, but one I've been unconsciously doing on my own for a while, so it's nice to finally have it in writing if the need ever occurs!

#sweetchcolate's nonsense of the day #long post #anime #anime recommendation

7 notes · View notes

actual-changeling · 6 months

Text

no cause people just dont understand the constant internal conflict i have.

i want to do x -> logical, trauma based fear around doing x -> i know why that fear exists and also that it's not actually a universal experience -> convincing my brain that it won't happen again is close to impossible because there's always a chance that it will -> i have to try and figure out how to do the thing scared and alone -> it means having to face deep exhaustion, possible trauma memories, and overall feeling like shit -> i am exhausted after forcing myself to do the thing -> i get sad because constantly being exhausted sucks -> my life sucks -> i remember it shouldn't be like this and that it COULD have been different -> i remember that my parents screwed me up for no fucking reason and now i want to kill myself and have wanted to do so since i was like 3 years old -> i get frustrated because i have been trying and waiting for it to get better for over twenty years -> i slip into a depressive episode -> i work my way out of it

and then you will never guess what happens again: i want to do another fucking thing because life and the ENTIRE thing just happens again, step for step, slightly adjusted for the thing in question.

and this isn't a once a month or once a week kinda thing. it's a "several times a day" deal. so yeah you can imagine the kind of pressure i am under and the best part is that there's a constant voice in my head shit talking me 24/7 and telling me i am ruining my life no matter what i do.

in conclusion if anyone tells me ever again to "try harder" i will rip their fucking throat out with my teeth.

#alex gets personal #vent post #sorry therapy always gets to me lol

10 notes · View notes

makeyoumine69 · 4 months

Note

Omg I wrote an ask but then my app crashed, I’m not sure if it sent ☠️ um. Okay if you got this ask already, please feel free to ignore this… lets see if I can remember what I wrote hahaha rip

Like the recent anon you got, I may also need some reassurance about something. What do you do if you really like a character, but then they do something highly triggering, and then it changes your entire perspective of them? And yet, you still want to be with them? I just watched AP a week ago and I was starting to hyperfixate on it. I really like Patrick a lot, probably the first time I’ve ever shipped with a villain who is THIS ruthless, and I’d see him murder ppl on screen and I’d think “oh teehee he wouldn’t hurt my OC though :)” sjfhkshdjg it also helps that I skipped almost all of the murder scenes except the Paul one (my friend who LOVES this movie watched it with me, told me to look away while they fast forwarded through the scary parts) I really cannot handle horror at all, but I wanted to try seeing this movie because I love Christian Bale. So I suppose you can say I technically only watched 30 minutes of this movie XD

I was having a real good time coming up with fluffy stories for my OC and Patrick for a full week now. But then I foolishly watched the deleted scenes yesterday without asking my friend to check the video to see if it had any triggering content… and I liked the scenes very much, except the one with Courtney. That scared the shit out of me. I have had a personal experience of being sexually assaulted and hit in the bedroom without consent, so seeing Patrick kind of yank Courtney around and yell at her, and roughly pull out, hurting her, it definitely triggered me and I was stress vomiting afterwards for a few hours. And today I woke up and I still cannot stop thinking about it. I felt really, really good with Patrick up until I watched that yesterday, and I am so shaky and nauseous just remembering it. It just keeps replaying in my head, despite me trying to stop thinking about it. I believe the director commented that they deleted that scene and replaced it instead with the scene where Patrick and Courtney are simply talking after they had slept together, where she’s just feeling depressed and saying “if you don’t call before Easter, have a nice one” or something like that, I am paraphrasing. But it didn’t imply any violence had occurred beforehand, at least I really hope not

I know Patrick is awful. I know he’s horrible. I know he is the worst, I did this to myself by liking him in the first place. I feel very stupid when I vent about this to my friends, they’re like “well… just don’t ship your OC with him if it bothers you. He’s literally a serial killer, it shouldn’t surprise you that he would also hurt women sexually. Just stop thinking about it.” but it doesn’t feel that simple, I can’t just… stop, you know? I spent an entire week *obsessing* over this character. I got serotonin out of this, it was a habit to think of him; my brain cannot simply just say “oh whatever I’ll drop him then, move on to something else”. I have absolutely tried distracting myself with other interests in the last 24 hours. I have watched other movies that aren’t scary, I have looked at different characters from romantic comedies that don’t involve murder, I have binged SpongeBob episodes lmao, but my brain is very much attached to Bateman. I want to feel comfortable with him, I like him. I wanted to ship my OC with him very badly, and I still do! I know he’s fictional, I shouldn’t be overthinking this, but I feel so shaky and unsafe when I think about him now. I feel heartbroken like I’m going through a breakup, as silly as that sounds, because I have been really looking forward to making this character someone fun to write about. I keep reminding myself it was just a deleted scene, he didn’t really hurt Courtney in bed, but god… it was jarring to see it happening regardless. I know he does these things in the book, I know he’s despicable, but I really wanted to hope that movie!patrick could be someone I could potentially try testing the waters with. Like the anon you answered recently, I have also had a poor experience shipping with villains and I am trying to reclaim that for myself. It feels scary knowing he has the potential to be physically or sexually abusive, when I am trying to practice the whole “I am the exception with villains” thing. I’m so sorry, I am writing so much omg I promise I’m almost done

So I guess I’m just asking for you to lie to me and say he’d be gentle with people in the bedroom, or that he wouldn’t bother hitting somebody or hurting them because it doesn’t bring him satisfaction...? Or even just… he didn’t hurt Courtney… *wouldn’t* hurt Courtney. Or Evelyn. Or Jean. Or whomever else. Like, if he’s ruthless, I’d rather he just murder people, not assault them, does that make sense? Oh my god I know that sounds completely out of character but I need somebody who knows him very well to try to reassure me, if you were okay with that of course. You’ve been writing him for a long time so I think you’d know him best and i know if anyone can convince me that Patrick has a gentle side to him, it would be you. And if anybody else wanted to write reassurances in the replies as well, by all means, I need all the help I can get lol. If you wanted to respond to this, of course. Please don’t feel pressured to respond if you don’t want to! Forgive me for sending such a lengthy ask. I feel very silly. Have a lovely day, I very much enjoy your blog btw you seem like a very kindhearted person :) sending you hugs. Again, please don’t worry about responding if you don’t wish to.

Hello dear!

Jesus, it's such an honor to hear people say that I know Patrick very well, it literally makes me cry! 😭

I would tell you this - when it comes to having crushes and just interacting with different characters, we all have our own visions of them. Speaking for myself, as much as I try to write Patrick canonically, I don't really write any gore or him committing murders because my psyche blocks those aspects of his personality, but I don't judge people who write him really violent and brutal - that's just not my cup of tea. I can't say that I tried to find some good traits in his personality, no, I just accepted the fact that I fell in love with a narcistic, arrogant man who has mental problems and loves to manipulate people. All those "I can fix him" things never worked for me and I never really tried to imagine him changing in a good way for me. Actually, I just let him live rent free in my head, and as for the way I write him - sometimes I feel like I want to write him being gentle and loving - I really have a thing for sweet and affectionate Patty, sometimes (most of the time lmao) I'm into some really angsty shit, so probably most people don't like my writing because in my stories Patrick appears to be a dickhead and a total bastard. But like I said, we all look at characters from our own perspective and we have the right to imagine our crushes the way we want them to be. After all, only Bret Ellis can present Patrick's character the way he is supposed to be, since Ellis created him.

Speaking of the deleted scene with Courtney, it was a little different in the book, but yeah, I wouldn't recommend reading the book because it's much more triggering and disturbing than the movie. Honestly, when I read the book for the first time, I had a big breakdown because I felt disgusted by the things Patrick did in the novel and Bret did a great job of making Bateman a real monster, so I can say that the movie version of Patrick is less off-putting. Even now I try to avoid reading the book too often because some chapters make me really depressed. But I can confess that I'm one of those people who believe in the theory that Bateman didn't commit all those murders and that they were all in his head. In Lunar Park, Bret Ellis' other book, he hinted that all the murders were actually not real. So I can recommend you to read this book because it has a lot of interesting facts about Patrick Bateman as a character from the novel.

I hope I made you feel a little bit better, and my DM is always open to talk! Thanks for sharing this with me! 💕💕💕

*sending my love and hugs!*

#patrick bateman #american psycho #answered asks #thank you for the ask!#asks are always welcome #sending love ❤️

13 notes · View notes

goldenraeofsun · 2 years

Text

Day 23: Sleepless Nights

Dean 11:31 Hey sorry to text so soon But did you pick up an ID with my face on it after dinner?

Cas 11:39 No, but the restaurant called me a half hour ago. They found it while closing up, and they had my number on file from when I made the reservation.

Dean 11:42 Thank god

Cas 11:42 My apologies; I was going to leave you a message in the morning, as you mentioned needing to get up early. Also, what do you mean by “so soon”?

Dean 11:44 Dude Its been two hours since our date How soon do you consider too soon?

Cas 11:45 I’ve never given it much thought.

Dean 11:45 Seriously?

Cas 11:48 I text when it feels right. I don’t have a numerically-based system.

Dean 11:50 That’s insane.

Cas 11:51 Well, Dean, what’s your system, then?

Dean 11:52 24 hours minimum 1 week max unless they’re batshit Usually averages out to 3 days

Cas 11:57 What do you mean “batshit”?

Dean 11:57 You know Psychos Nut jobs One sandwich short of a picnic Dudes who say their spirit animal is Elon Musk

Cas 11:58 That’s an impressive array of synonyms, but it doesn’t actually give me much information.

Dean 11:58 Seriously??? Ok then Like, the guy who tried to pressure me into a threesome with his ex cause I’m bi Or the lady who practically drank a whole bottle of wine by herself and yelled at the waiter because he didn’t refill our bread basket

Cas 11:58 I see what you mean.

Dean 11:59 OR that guy who mentioned he was casually into cannibalism??? Who the hell drops that on a first date. Glenn Close wannabes, that’s who

Cas 12:00 I’m astounded you had that many bad first dates.

Dean 12:01 Those are only from this year!

Cas 12:01 That sounds horrendous.

Dean 12:02 Heh. Cannibal guy gave good head, so there’s that. Dude knew his way around some man meat, if you know what I mean

Cas 12:02 Unfortunately, I do. Excuse me while I wait a full week to text you ever again.

Dean 12:03 C’mon, I didn’t even tell you about my worst first date!

Dean 12:14 Cas?

Cas 12:18 Go on.

Dean 12:18 Thank fuck, I thought I actually scared you off

Cas 12:18 Despite appearances, I don’t scare easily.

Dean 12:19 For a nerdy dude in a trench coat, you’re made of pretty stern stuff, I’ll give you that

Cas 12:21 Thank you?

Dean 12:26 Don’t mention it ANYWAY worst first date in the history of first dates: The setting: Los Angeles, California, August 2017 Our hero, the dashingly handsome PA, Dean Winchester, has a date with a slightly less-attractive but still stunning guest star from episode 24 of Dr. Sexy, MD who will die three episodes later from a cerebrovascular infection of her spinal cord.

Cas 12:27 Technically, doctors should only use “Dr” or “MD”, not both. And that diagnosis makes absolutely no sense.

Dean 12:28 Shhh DSM had to let go their medical expert due to budget cuts in the 15th season

Cas 12:28 I cannot believe the abbreviation for that show is DSM.

Dean 12:28 Huh?

Cas 12:31 In the medical community, whenever you hear DSM, they’re almost always referring to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Dean 12:34 Hahahahaha Maybe I should buy a copy for the set Then they’ll get SOMETHING right

Cas 12:34 I hardly ever call any case hopeless, but in this case, I might make an exception.

Dean 12:36 Yeah that checks out But nobody watches DSM for the medicine The other stuffs the compelling bits

Cas 12:37 They'd better not be. It's a gross misrepresentation of the medical system. Firstly, their sterile fields leave much to be desired. I had to pause in the middle of the intubation scene.

Dean 12:42 Hold on You actually watched DSM??

Cas 12:44 Of course. You mentioned you worked on the show when we met. I'd be a poor date if I hadn't watched at least an episode.

Dean 12:44 Oh my god you did homework for our date tonight??? You're such a nerd

Cas 12:45 Dr. Nerd, MD, actually.

Dean 12:46 Ha! You're still Dr Sexy to me

Dean 12:46 Shit that was the stupidest thing I've ever sent. Forget I wrote that.

Cas 12:47 I think it's flattering :D

Dean 12:48 Thank fuck

Cas 12:52 It wasn't only to prepare for our date. You obviously care a lot about the show, so if I couldn't stand it, I figured it would be a good indicator of our compatibility.

Dean 12:55 Holy shit. I never thought about it like that I used to tell people it was a guilty pleasure

Cas 12:56 What changed?

Dean 12:57 I got the job on set and everyone there doesn’t treat it like a dirty little secret Sure they know its stupid and shit, but it’s fun, stupid shit

Cas 1:00 I’m glad you like your job.

Dean 1:00 You don’t?

Cas 1:11 I like the mission of my job. But some days the death, pain, and petty workplace grievances make me question my choice. I chose emergency medicine because I was under the impression it required fewer people skills. I thought I would see more acute cases of broken bones, gunshots, burns, etc. But these days, half of my patients use ER doctors as their primary physicians because they can’t afford regular doctor visits for their chronic conditions. I even have a few “regulars”, which I never anticipated having.

Dean 1:12 Damn That sounds brutal

Cas 1:13 Not to mention my hundred thousand dollars of student loan debt.

Dean 1:13 Jesus Sammy’s in the same boat between undergrad and law school

Cas 1:14 But not you?

Dean 1:20 I never went to college

Cas 1:20 Good.

Dean 1:23 What?

Cas 1:25 It seems you didn’t waste your money or time, as you’re in a profession that makes you happy and supports a lifestyle you’re making work.

Dean 1:25 I guess so. I just never figured you’d be all aboard the high school drop out train

Cas 1:31 Usually no, not unless the person has a clear path ahead of what they would like to do instead. My brother transferred from a prestigious liberal arts college to a trade school for plumbers, and he has had no greater joy explaining to my uptight parents the latest thing he pulled out from a client’s septic tank.

Dean 1:32 He sounds like a riot

Cas 1:33

He also makes a killing. Apparently an equal number of people need doctors as plumbers, to my parents’ great chagrin.

Dean 1:33 I like him already

Cas 1:35 You’ll like him until he short sheets your bed and locks you in the wine cellar during dessert so he gets the whole Black Forest gateau to himself.

Dean 1:36 That’s HILARIOUS

Cas 1:38 I almost wet myself, Dean.

Dean 1:38 And you think that makes it less funny???

Cas 1:43 I should have known older brothers would take each others’ side.

Dean 1:44 Damn right It’s in the big brother handbook

Cas 1:49 Did you terrorize Sam too?

Dean 1:52 No And whatever he tells you about itching powder, a farting donkey, and superglue is totally a lie

Cas 1:53 Never mind. I don’t even want to know.

Dean 1:58 Yeah, nobody came out the winner that time Sammy always gave as good as he got though But you seem like the kind of goody two shoes who wouldn’t get your big brother back like he deserved

Cas 2:03 I was worse as a child. It didn’t help that Gabe had an almost preternatural ability to anticipate retaliation. My choices of pranks were never particularly inventive, so he saw them coming from a mile away.

Dean 2:04 So Gabe is a plumber with a sweet tooth?

Cas 2:05 Yes?

Dean 2:06 You got any other ammo on him?

Cas 2:07 He also has an extensive porn collection of vintage Casa Erotica VHS and goes to some annual pornography convention in Vegas. My parents didn’t cut him off for dropping out of college because they were well aware of his alternative and, in their mind, Gabe chose the lesser of two evils.

Dean 2:11 Holy shit, Cas That’s what you LEAD with

Cas 2:12 Excuse me?

Dean 2:19 Next time you’re at his place, you’re gonna swap out half those VHS for Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood or Nut Cracker or a Nova documentary Just total boner-killers. He won’t see it coming. Heh Literally

Cas 2:20 Truly?

Dean 2:22 I don’t see why he would

Cas 2:23 Thank you. I might actually take your suggestion.

Dean 2:25 Do it! And then tell me how it goes. Sammy’s all the way in Seattle, so we haven’t had a real prank war in too long.

Cas 2:27 Aren’t you a little old for such childish behavior?

Dean 2:30 You’re older than I am!

Cas 2:31 I’m making up for lost time.

Dean 2:32 You’re unbelievable. Alright, Marcia, if you want to play it that way See if I help you when Gabe hides your stethoscope or dyes your white coat pink in retaliation

Cas 2:35 … he dyed it bright yellow, actually.

Dean 2:36 HAHAHAHAH

Cas 2:37 I looked like a YIELD sign.

Dean: 2:39 Please tell me you have pictures

Cas 2:43 I do, actually. IMG_215

Dean 2:44 What’s with the black stripes?

Cas 2:45 I added the stripes for Halloween last year. I was a bumblebee.

Dean 2:46 Damn Not even a sexy bumblebee?

Cas 2:49 Ah, but you can’t see what’s under my doctor’s coat.

Dean 2:50 An even smaller bumblebee costume?

Cas 2:52 No…

Dean 2:53 Don’t do this to me Lingerie?

Cas 2:55 I wore SCRUBS, Dean, because I am a medical professional.

Dean 2:58 You’re such an ass What are you doing this year?

Cas 2:58 I was thinking of wearing my usual coat and scrubs.

Dean 3:01 Booooo

Cas 3:02 What are you going as, then?

Dean 3:05 A cowboy! Tenth year in a row, baby. If it ain’t broke, yadda yadda yadda

Cas 3:06 But, having recently seen a new medical show, I was thinking of adding cowboy boots to my standard getup.

Dean 3:08 No way

Cas 3:08 Do you by chance have a spare pair I could borrow for Halloween?

Dean 3:10 Hell yes I do! But Shit, I have a 5am call time tomorrow Today? Fuck. I think I have to cut his convo short

Cas 3:11 Oh dear My apologies for keeping you so late! :o

Dean 3:14 Not your fault at all dude

Cas 3:15 I never even heard the story of your worst first date!

Dean 3:18 How about I tell you over dinner Friday? 7PM work with you? You chose the place last time, so I’ll pick this one

Cas 3:18 It’s a date :D

#suptober22 #destiel #fanfic #destiel fanfic #text fic #doctor Castiel #PA dean #slice of life #fluff #rae writes fic

93 notes · View notes

xiaoshengnu · 26 days

Text

𝕸𝖞 𝕵𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖊𝖞 𝖙𝖔 𝖄𝖔𝖚 (2023)

overview : episode no - 24 | genre - wuxia

yun weishan has only ever known darkness. brought up and honed from a young age to become a spy under the mysterious sect wufeng, she longs for freedom. the drama begins as she is sent on a mission into the gong family, the enemy sect of wufeng. if she succeeds, freedom she gets. surrounded by schemes and treachery with possible death looming on both sides, yun weishan must navigate the dangerous waters of the gong family and her own turbulent emotions towards her target, gong ziyu.

l⃣e⃣ t⃣’ s⃣ b⃣e⃣g⃣i⃣n⃣

YALL THIS DRAMA. THIS DRAMA. this drama was simultaneously the worst and best thing I have experienced in a long time. however, if I could only use one word to describe this drama, it would 100% be stunning. the drama is absolutely stunning. from the music to the costuming to the makeup to the actors- this drama's visuals is quite frankly something never seen before in chinese dramaland- its so dark and brooding and so cool. the plot on the other hand...? let's get into it.

o⃣u⃣t⃣ o⃣ f⃣ t⃣ e⃣ n⃣

𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙 - 3/10

𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 - 7/10

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘 - 7/10

𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 - 10/10

𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕒𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕖 - 6.7

o⃣u⃣t⃣ o⃣ f⃣ f⃣ i⃣v⃣ e⃣

𝖍𝖎𝖉𝖉𝖊𝖓 𝖌𝖊𝖒 𝖛𝖆𝖑𝖚𝖊 - 💎💎💎💎💎

[ honestly, this drama is pretty unique I have to give it that much. in every way. the characters? the premise? and the style? I think the visuals alone grants it it's five gem value. ]

𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖆𝖙𝖈𝖍 𝖛𝖆𝖑𝖚𝖊 - ✨✨✨

[ despite the plot that is quite literally held up by like two stitches, I would probably rewatch it for the characters, but probably not think too deeply about the drama's construction as a whole because honestly- it would frustrate me to no end. ]

‘keep reading’ for detailed review

𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙 - 3

okay- hear me out y'all. I know people absolutely LOVE this drama and I am one of them, but I have to admit the logic in this plot sucks ass. like it really sucks ass. recently i heard a youtuber describe the characters as people who thought they were zhen huan but in reality were just a bunch of xia dongchuns and it really made me laugh- and guys... unfortunately, its true. some of the methods that the characters use to scheme and idk "verbally spar" honestly were just so- sigh. so ridiculous.

generally speaking, I felt that the drama didn't really have a "thread" or a central purpose, which I think is mainly a result of the build up to the ending. it failed to answer so many questions and instead made it worse by creating even more. overall, the plot kind of just felt like wading through a gigantic mud marsh with pointless confrontations and plot points popping up everywhere. the scriptwriters gave the drama a super complex framing that they just weren't able to do justice. two powerful sects and two people from completely opposing sides. one is an assassin-spy that initially (?) yearns for freedom and one is the leader of the sect that she is trying to destroy. add to that all the scheming that goes on the gong family. and a lot of childhood trauma. that's a shit-tonne of emotion and plotting to deal with which you can't realistically develop to a good quality within just 24 episodes.

I also got the vibe that the scriptwriters were scared to pin point any of their characters down for the sake of mystery, which honestly instead of making the drama better, really just made it worse. so many characters' motives were constantly doing 180s and big revelations were thrown in without any evidence of it being interlaced with the rest of the drama (I'm looking at you Big Plot Twist At End of Drama). like, the general concept was amazing, show-stopping, fantastic, never seen before, but then came the execution and it all just sort of fell apart.though I did enjoy the plot and watched the show until the end, ultimately I felt that there was honestly just too many frustrating flaws to justify it getting anything higher than 3. I loved the drama all the same though, the concept, the music and cinematography was just insane.

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘 - 7

ugh all the characters in this show where literally sO COOOLLL. they all had such distinctive characters, styles and personalities, it was amazing. honestly, literally never seen before. their tragic backstories were so so heartbreaking. while plot wasn't fantastic, the drama was pretty good at establishing and handling the characters and their emotional attachments to each other. its kinda funny to me that for a drama which marketed romance as it's main thing, the non-romantic relationships were so much better written. I loved yun weishan and yun que's relationship to their master han yasi and the relationship between xue chongzi and xue gongzi. and omg, gong ziyu's relationship to lady wuji? brought me to tears.

speaking of the romance department; I found it really hard to invest in the ships. while I approved of all the pairings and thought a romantic dynamic between them would be very interesting, it did feel like the storytelling was yet again lacking. I couldn't be sure wether I could really invest and ship the romance between shangguang qian and gong shangjue bcs both their motives were so unclear, and neither of their feelings towards one another were never really explored properly? and while I definitely understood yun weishan's attraction to gong ziyu, I didn't really get why gong ziyu loved her and risked so much for her which made some of his actions seem really silly and hard to stand by. overall, for the romance, i think I liked what it had the potential to be than what we actually got.

𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 - 10

Y'ALLL. time to talk about my absolute FAVOURITE part of this drama. THE PRODUCTION. the colouring, the lighting, the sets, the cinematography?? the makeup? the music? the costume design?? THE COSTUME DESIGN?? its quite obvious that a huge amount of the budget for this drama has simply been poured into the design, like I've seriously never seen a drama shot like this ever before and it was absolutely insane (though they definitely had to cut down on the cast and extras, the whole drama has this weird kind of empty feeling for a manor that is so rich and famous and so tightly guarded, like yun weishan didn't even get a personal handmaiden) I remember seeing the trailers for this show and literally screaming- the drama itself did not disappoint. I would even go as far to say that I would watch this drama completely just for the aesthetics.

𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 - 7

in my personal opinion, no complaints about the acting, it was pretty great. although it's pretty dramatic at times and everyone speaks at the volume of a whisper, at no point in the drama did I get taken out of the show by the acting. esther yu really slayed in her new assassin role which was so fun to watch especially since most of her roles thus far have been rather cutesy and light- and her marital arts scenes ate- in fact all the martial arts scenes ate in my opinion. I think even the side characters did fairly well, it was all very nice. no complaints.

𝖇𝖔𝖓𝖚𝖘!!

favourite character(s) :

yue gongzi ( who doesn't love an angsty angsty man? he's literally the definition of that teary wet cat meme and I love that for him )

xue chongzi (yet another angsty man- you can see a pattern forming lmao- his arc at the end was literally so heartbreaking. one of my favourite characters from this show fr. )

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖜 (source mydramalist)

lead actors : esther yu, zhang linghe, lu yuxiao, cheng lei

director : guo jingming, luo luo

screenwriter : guo jingming

6 notes · View notes

theweirdwideweb · 2 years

Text

Well I've really scared the shit outta the people who care about me in the past 24 hours. Including me! I started EMDR therapy about two months ago, which is a special therapy for trauma where you process memories with the aid of eye movements. It sounds like bullshit, but I have never been effected by therapy this way. They told me to choose a less traumatic memory to start with and we have been working on it for three full sessions. The "less traumatic" memory I chose actually wound up being heavily connected to all these painful issues I'm grappling with recently: body dysmorphia, social isolation, social rejection, self image, self worth, fearing others, fearing myself. ALL this shit. And these eye movements are somehow unlocking these pent up bodily emotions to the point where I am feeling bad. On top of that June 28th was my 2 year alcohol sobriety milestone and 1 year nicotine milestone. This year I decided to quit smoking weed. I had become reliant on it again, as I have been for almost all of my adult life. So I'm dealing with all these intense bodily emotions connected to my very sense of identity---every fear and insecurity I have is just being rattled continuously. Then I quit smoking weed two weeks ago. At first it was fine. Yes, I was having big feelings but that's good actually! Yes! Working through that shit. But I begin to feel worse and worse. I am really going through something in my life right now. I cut ties with my only close friend, I'm essentially friendless if you only count people I see irl regularly. And it's also rattling alll these insecurities for me. I began to feel the situation was hopeless. The problem is too big, it's too late, it's not fixable---it's just who I am. I have a fear that there is something about me which I can't control which repels people. My looks, how I carry myself, my behavior---something makes me fundamentally weird, revolting, unlovable. Like people pity me or are afraid of me. Heavy shit, right? Recently I've had some violently depressive episodes. It's a kind of darkness I rarely experience. So last night I'm at the movies. I went by myself. I go to the movies by myself pretty often actually, at least once a week. Anyway so I'm at this movie and it's getting crowded in the theater. There's multiple groups of people sitting in every row --- except for my row. Not a single other person sat in my row. It was a prime row! This is just dinging every one of these deep dark fears once again. I'm looking at all these people with their friends and lovers sitting in the rows in front of me. The move starts and I could feel the empty seat next to me. It was like a cold, empty, bottomless void, and I could feel it inside myself too. It was purely an emotional state, not really any thoughts behind it, and I didn't have the specific thought that I wanted to kill myself, no plan no nothing like that, but I know that is how people feel before they commit suicide. I touched something dark. So this stupid Nicolas Cage movie is going and I'm sitting there trying to pretend I'm fine but inside my head I'm trying to figure out what to do. I figure---anything I have to do to stop feeling this way is acceptable. Fuck your sobriety. Do anything to stop this. It was thunderstorming as I left the theater and I parked way down the block and there's lighting everywhere. I'm walking in the rain with no umbrella and I'm so cold. I get in my car and turn up the heat and I'm saying to stuff to myself like, "Just go home. Just gooo home." I had to pass home on my way to the liquor store and I honestly didn't know which one I was going to until I pulled into my own parking lot. I was completely rattled all night. I told on myself to my sisters right away. This morning I spoke to them again and decided to cancel EMDR this week and start smoking weed as soon as possible. Called out of work. Went to my sister's house and got some weed from her. Went to therapy. We came up with a safety plan. I called out of work again tomorrow. My only job for the next few days is relax.

#tw suicide

104 notes · View notes