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waywardcrow · 4 months

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Timeless.

Chapter III.

Summary: 1943. 1975. 2024. Three different decades, three different lives, three different times your life and Bucky's interwined; he lost you twice, will he do it again?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader.

TW: It can change each chapter but themes of Bucky as soldier and as the Winter Soldier in general, letters between Bucky and reader which are in italics like this, lots of feels, death of reader's sister mentioned, reader's boss being a cartoon villain, very bad headaches and fainting, hospitals, past reader is mentioned to be named Beth but that changes for 2024 version of her so I nicknamed her little bird for Bucky, Ace for everybody else, this will be a +18 story so minors dni.

Disclaimer: Please remember english is not my first language so if I make a mistake or forget something let me know.

Pictures from pinterest and graphic and dividers by the amazing @ firefly-graphics so all credits to the creators.

Previous chapter <<<

Bucky still had your letters, Steve had kept them safe for him when he fell off the train and sent them home before going to the ice, your mother –Beth’s mother- kept them safe after your death only a year later of his disappearance. Your brother’s grandkid gave them to him after he went looking for your family, it was a surprise he knew about him and even so that he didn’t feared him or hated him for his past.

Your letters and his, so well-kept, were his most treasured possession, it allowed him to fill the blanks the brainwashing left and remember when he had happiness at his reach.

Even if it was so hard for him to make you understand his feelings were true.

Sargent Barnes,

My brother’s unit is the 103th, I appreciate your promise and I know you will honor it.

And regarding the other matter, I know you are good man because Rebecca said so and I trust her judgment but I’m also aware of your refusals to meet me in the first place so you have to understand my skepticism is justified.

You don’t have to fight for anything else but the war you’re in so you can come home to your loved ones, what’s in your destiny will happen no matter what, I don’t need you to prove me wrong, just be my friend like you said you will be.

With my best wishes.

Bucky traced your name with his fingertips before putting your letter in its box and then in the safe, breathing to calm himself. He will see you that night and it had to be perfect, he will never try to make space for him in your life again but he could take care of you.

The suit Sam chose for him was navy blue like his old uniform in the Howling commandos which made him feel better about it, still he picked the gloves like a reflex. He would not be close to you but didn’t want that part of his past to be near your presence again.

Pepper was kind enough to invite him, their relationship was strictly professional after she regained some power in the Avengers, what happened with Wanda and Spider-man made her reclaim her husband’s legacy, it was better under her control anyways. She didn’t seem to hate him but didn’t trust him completely and Bucky understood that.

He will never made emends with Tony but will do his best to protect the world he and Natalia saved.

The charity gala was one more thing he will have to deal with to be useful to his team.

You, on the other hand, were in the brink of collapse, giving in to every stupid tantrum from Mia wasn’t enough, she always wanted more.

Mia wasn’t happy when you finished her work for next month’s issue, she wasn’t happy with your lame simple black dress with long sleeves and white collar hided every curve of your body, wasn’t happy about her driver being on time because she was late and complained the whole ride to the Avengers tower about it.

You were considering jumping out of the car in movement when you finally arrived and you could have some space away from her. The main hall was as impressive as the tower; it was so good that Mrs. Potts could take it back from that idiot Fisk.

Someone guided you to the adjacent room where the party will be hosted and your headache intensified with the bright lights.

“You, come here” your checks burned hot in anger hearing her call you like that but you did as you were told after counting to ten, remembering why wasn’t a good idea to kill her with a silver tray in a building full of superheroes. “Where are the questions?” she hissed when you were in earshot.

“I gave them to you miss Alexander” maybe your calmest tone will work with the brat “you put them in your purse back in the car”.

“Well I don’t have them” she said with such arrogance that made you wonder for the million time how could she be sister to someone as lovely as Harper “so go and find them for me before I have to interview that boring woman” Mia spat with mockery “like I don’t have better things to do than being here”.

Something about her words threw more gasoline to the flames of your anger and the pain in your head.

“You chose to do this interview and this gala is for people who are still homeless after The Blip” there was no point in trying to be rational with her but your family lost everything in that five years, your house, your chances at a better life that you still fought to get back and someone like her will never understand it. Still wasn’t right the way she talked about that and about Pepper fucking Potts.

“And? Poor people are poor because they don’t work hard enough, they don’t have a home because they are lazy” at that, you snorted with disdain and her perfect face contorted with ire “fix your attitude, I have to talk to that woman and I don’t have time for you or for the next thirty minutes I will pretend I give a shit about her dead husband.”

That was enough; the pain in the left side of your head, the black spots in your eyesight, your anger running through your veins, all the awful comments she made about you the entire time you worked for her, about everyone without anyone to stop her… before you knew it your hand took her champagne flute away to splash it in her face.

“You are a fucking bitch, a miserable excuse of human” you yelled at her with the anger pulsing in your heartbeats, how could she said that? Just like Tony Stark there were a lot of people who lost their lives, not just avengers like Natasha Romanoff or Vision, there were simple humans like your sister who died fighting to save people, there were people still suffering.

The whole room went silent and you went back to the present.

Everyone was staring at you and a pair of men in black suits started to walk in your direction so you ran to the entrance still with the glass of champagne in your hand.

You were so fired and even more than that, you were ruined, Mia will make sure of it for humiliating her. Your heart dropped to your feet, what will you do? How will you pay for your folk’s home?

Hot tears ran down your face but before you reached the street a strong hand stopped you. It was when you realized the expensive glass in your hand.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to take this with me” you started but your plea for mercy died when you met the most amazing blue eyes you have ever seen in your life. The man before you looked so confused and some other things you couldn’t understand when the pain increased, your hands dropped everything to hold your head, barely aware of your knees touching the pavement while the agony made the world disappeared.

Bucky couldn’t lose you, not again, why this kept happening? It was like the universe wanted to tell him to stay away from you but what if this had nothing to do with him? What if you were sick and needed his help?

He insisted in going in the ambulance with you and Sam arrived minutes later.

“What happened man?” his neck tie was loose and the confusion in his eyes made Bucky lie to him.

“I don’t know, I went outside from some air and I saw this girl crying, thought I could help and then she had an attack, like- like if someone was hurting her” Bucky made an effort to don’t let his emotions show but the lump in his throat was impossible to avoid “then she fainted.”

Sam was trying to read him before speaking again.

“It’s a little weird that you were there and also you saved this same girl to get hit by a bike a couple days ago, don’t ya think?” his southern accent came to play like always he was trying to convince him of something.

Bucky looked at his gloved hands, he couldn’t tell Sam, he may believe him but Bucky didn’t believed himself most days so it was better to keep lying.

“It was a coincidence I guess” nobody else could know, it was for the best.

“Hmm” was the simple response of Captain America who knew something was happening but will wait for his friend to tell him.

“Excuse me Sergeant Barnes, the patient is awake” your doctor approached him “her emergency contact is coming but she asked for you.”

“Is she going to be fine? What happened to her?” Sam’s presence will not stop him from knowing.

“She is going to be fine, we suspect it had to do with a lot of stress and not taking care of herself properly” the eyes of the doctor went to his left arm when a noise of metal whirring interrupted. If it would be for him, Mia Alexander will have more than a ruined dress to pay but right now you were his priority.

“Can I see her?” the doctor gave him a nod and Bucky muttered a thank you, leaving Sam behind more confused than before.

His heart was racing in his chest, the last time he talked with you –with an old version of you- he was still him and you will never know how even in his darkest time you were his light.

You smiled shyly at the sight of him and it took every ounce of strength in his body to don’t run to your side and kiss you. Your make-up was slightly smeared and your carefully styled hair dishealved which brought some other memories he should not be having when you just woke up in a hospital.

“Hi” he heard your heart going as fast as his, making him feel like the flustered mess you made of him in the 40’s “the doctor told me you brought me here after the incident and I told her to call you so I could thank you.” His stare started to play with your nerves, he was more handsome in person and your self-consciousness didn’t help you “I also wanted to apologize for what I did back in the gala, it was so improper and selfish of me to do that.”

Guilt drowned you since you recover your senses, hoping the raising of money was not affected by you and it was enough for Bucky to move, his protective instinct winning over anything else.

“You have nothing to apologize for, little-“ his old pet name almost rolled out of his tongue so naturally that it hurt him physically to stop it “there’s little petty people like your old boss who deserve more than what you did.”

Nice save, Barnes he congratulated himself.

Your whole face turned in a mortified expression at his words, how did he know?

“You heard her?” it wasn’t bad enough being humiliated, you have to be humiliated with an audience.

Bucky had to use all of his restraint from the moment you arrived with that idiot, he was actually in his way to you when she said all that awful things and he made sure of letting Pepper know while waiting for you to wake up.

“I heard enough” he gave a few steps towards you, reading your conflict perfectly clear in your eyes. The reasons why you didn’t resign before, all the things he couldn’t fix for you without being noticed, finally having a chance to change them this time “you don’t have to worry about her anymore, Pepper will take care of it.”

“Oh my god, does she know what that bitch said? I’m so sorry”

Why were you apologizing?

“It’s not your fault” his brows furrowed and he didn’t think twice before taking your hand in his right one to give you a soft squeeze “like I told you, Pepper will take care of it and I’ll like to help too.”

Before you could answer the door opened again and Harper stormed in.

“What the hell, Ace? Don’t scare me like this!” the red haired woman didn’t notice him when she went to your side to hug you “are you okay? Did she hurt you? I swear to god this time I’m going to put peanuts in her food and-“

“Harper, what did I tell you about planning murder in front of other people?” you remind her, giggling, sending a greedy feeling through Bucky’s body, he missed that laugh.

“That we need plausible deniability” your friend answered like a scolded child before setting her eyes on Bucky “thank you for bringing Ace here.”

Her honest words made him feel weird, didn’t she knew who he was?

“Ace?” he asked instead.

“It's what Harper calls me” you responded feeling your cheeks heat.

“Because she’s so smart and quick and awesome” the love in her voice made him feel a little jealous, in all the time following you he didn’t sense something else going on between you two but how could someone be close to you and not fall in love?

“Well it was my pleasure, just like watching her splashing someone with five thousand dollars champagne” his eyes never left yours while speaking but Harper barely noticed it.

“Please tell me it was Mia” she begged and when you nodded, Harper let out a happy yell “I’m so proud of you, sweetie. It was about time, don’t you think Mr. Barnes?”

So she knew him, why wasn’t she hiding you from him?

“Totally and please, call me Bucky” again, his eyes were only on you. A hint of pain hit you when he said his name making close your eyes “everything ok?”

“Yeah”

“I should leave you sleep” he hated being away from you in times like this but you needed it “nice to meet you. Both” he added.

“Same” Harper’s smart eyes went from you to him; it was time for him to leave.

“Thank you again, Mr. Barnes” he opened his mouth to protest and you corrected yourself “Bucky, thanks.”

“Get well soon, Miss.” He looked at you one last time before walking out, how will he stay away from you after this?

Tag list: @cjand10 @bunnyforhim

Next chapter >>>

Hey! I liked this chapter, mostly because we will not see Mia again (maybe) and these two finally get to talk! But maybe I'm going to take this story slowly, feel free to tell me what you think!

Love, Lily.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #40s bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst

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bellabrady · 6 months

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Tell us the songs you think are the mist Buddie coded

(and maybe why you think they are buddie coded?)

ohh i love this question. i'll give you a list:

sweet nothing by taylor swift — 'i find myself running home to your sweet nothings. outside they're push and shoving, you're in the kitchen humming. all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.'

i think especially ever since buck went to eddie's house to escape all the visitors and fell asleep it fits them extremely well, because it screams domestic. and it's just such a beautifully soft song that perfectly describes that episode and how everybody (despite it coming from a good place) kinda put pressure on buck, except for eddie, who knew buck would come to him when he's ready. also buddie x kitchens

forever winter by taylor swift — 'if i was standing there in your apartment, i'd take this bomb in your hand and disarm it. i'd say i love you, even at your darkest, and please don't go. i didn't know you were breaking down. i'd fall to pieces on the floor if you weren't around.'

obviously this is specifically about 5b buddie and eddie's breakdown arc. i think the lyrics speak for themselves and why it's buddie coded djshdj

leave your lover by echos — 'we should leave our lovers so that we can choose each other.'

also pretty self-explanatory

ready to call this love by mika — 'take your time if you need it but don't wait when you know you feel it and you're ready to call this love. [...] are you ready yet?'

because they need to get over themselves and admit they're in love

gorgeous by taylor swift — 'you're so cool, it makes me hate you so much.' / 'and i'm so furious at you for making me feel this way, but what can i say? you're gorgeous.'

it's sooo 2x01 buddie coded

you belong with me by taylor swift — 'can't you see that i'm the one who understands you? been here all along, so why can't you see? you belong with me.'

i just know eddie played this song at full volume after buck told him natalia sees him

mess is mine by vance joy — 'this mess was yours, now your mess is mine.' / 'bring me to your house and tell me "sorry for the mess." hey, i don't mind.'

once again eddie's breakdown arc

#evan buckley #911 fox #eddie diaz #buddie #oliver stark #9-1-1

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lazycats-stuff · 5 months

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Chapter 6

Okay everyone, onwards we go.

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: some nightmares, plot is lowkey kicking off, Elias finds out about certain things...

Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Elias felt better after hanging out with Jason. It felt nice, but the only thing he hates is the fact that his arm is hurting beyond belief. He has never worked his arm to the point of hurting. He didn't know that Jason threw knives, but they all probably don't share their interests with anybody outside of their trusted circle.

Elias wouldn't blame them for it, media is well known to twist everybody's words in every way they shaped, just to get a sensation out of the news and to create a frenzy and get the buzz going. Elias knew he was going to throw knives with Jason again.

Most definitely.

At the moment Elias was just walking, through the garden. The sun was setting and Titus was walking next to him. Elias smiled as the huffs Titus let out. They were walking in silence. Elias had time to beat before dinner.

And he needs to clear his head a little bit. Just a little bit. He thought about a press conference and what Bruce said. If it could help out with the investigation, he will do it. He has seen that his mom's disappearance was already being in the news.

Now they were wondering when Bruce and little Elias are going to make an appearance. He was very scared of it, but Bruce promised to be with him the entire time.

But that is not the only thing he has been worried about. His uncle Aseel is nowhere to be found. Elias called him, texted him and it was all getting him nowhere.

Where is his uncle?

Elias had to find his uncle. Why isn't he anywhere near him when he needs him? When his mother, Aseel's unofficial sister, is missing, he isn't anywhere to be found. He didn't like it and it made him suspicious now. Something is happening and he didn't like it at all.

Now, the only thing he needs to do is find Bruce and talk to him. Well, he still has dinner to go through and he will ask Bruce during it. Maybe just before they start? Eh.

He is too numb to even start thinking about his fears now. The important thing he had to do is find out the truth. Something is off about all of this and he couldn't figure it completely, well, he couldn't pinpoint it or put his finger on it, but there is something wrong here.

And Elias is going to find out.

Elias checked his phone for time and saw that dinner is going to be soon so he started walking back inside. Titus huffed as he wasn't paid attention to and Elias huffed too.

He patted Titus, stopping when he walked to the entrance of the garden.

" Good boy, " Elias murmured as he smiled at the big boy. Titus' tail wagged happily and then he happily skipped inside, looking for his owner.

Elias went to the nearby bathroom to wash his hands and then sit at the table. He said hi to Alfred who was finishing up the delicious dinner. As Elias could see, it was some sort of fish. He smiled because he really likes fish and his mom would make something with fish every 2 weeks.

And it's a healthy too. That is, of course, if you have money. Thankfully, Natalia had money and a good job to provide for Elias and herself.

Elias joined Damian at the table, looking as Alfred was plating.

" I assume Titus was with you. " Damian inquired and Elias nodded.

" Yup. He is my official emotional support dog. " Elias declared to Damian and Damian just huffed in pure amusement. Everyone trickled in and Elias had to ask Bruce what about is going to happen now. It's a great plan.

In theory. He doesn't know how to even start this. Why is he so fricking nervous?

" Bruce, " Elias started and Bruce immediately focused on the boy. Bruce's blue eyes were piercing as they looked back at Elias.

" I was wondering if you know something about Aseel? Did he reach out to you? I can't seem to get a hold of him. " Elias said and Bruce just wanted to hug him.

" I'm trying, but I can't reach him. I think that he might be on a trip. " Bruce lied smoothly and kind of hoped that Elias didn't see through it.

" Yeah, that might be it. " Elias agreed with a shrug of his shoulders. And with that Bruce felt a little bit at ease. He doesn't want to break the news to Elias just yet.

" Okay everyone, bon appetit everyone. " Alfred said as he put plates in front of everyone. It was salmon with something on the side that Elias couldn't recognize.

But it looked good.

Who said that dessert couldn't help a little bit? Elias ate quietly, enjoying the light cake. It was just perfect.

Elias woke up in the middle of the night, dreams plaguing his mind. He huffed quietly as he sat up, removing the heavy blanket from his stomach. He wiped his eyes quietly as he turned on the lights. He sighed as he made his way out in the dark hall. He wanted to find Damian.

He couldn't stay alone and he just needed to talk to Damian. Sleeping is off limits tonight it seems. Elias slowly opened the door to Damian's room, popping his head in.

The bed was made and Damian was nowhere to be found. What the hell?

Elias frowned and closed the door. He made his way to everyone's rooms. Nobody was in there. NOBODY. Elias felt like he has entered The Twilight Zone and some sort of another alternate universe. What the hell is going on?

Elias took a deep breath. Okay, compose yourself. Elias thought about it. What if Bruce was in his office working? As a CEO he has a lot of work to do so it wouldn't be a weird thing. Right?

Elias knocked on the big wooden door. There was no answer, but Elias checked anyways. No Bruce. Elias his heart beating faster. This is not going well and he didn't know what to do. He looked at the big clock, shocked to see... An elevator? Elias clicked his tongue.

Now, does he go down the elevator and wonder where he goes or does just go back to his bed? Elias hesitated for a moment before going to the elevator. He pressed the the button to go down and he went back as possible.

The elevator didn't really have doors, can you blame him? He noticed the lights and he swore he could hear bats. And some talking? When the elevator stopped, Elias noticed he was in a damp cave. It has lights and metal rails where you could walk.

What the hell?

Elias walked slowly, looking around. Lights, bats... But what nearly made him pass out when he saw the infamous Batmobile. What is going on?! He slowly started walking closer and closer and he took a deep breath as he heard voices.

Bruce, Damian, Dick, Tim and Jason... And Alfred? Elias wondered what was going on because this has to be the weirdest thing that he has ever encountered. A cave underneath the Wayne Manor? Holy shit.

He stopped when he saw everyone, in their suits, looking at...

The photo of his mom?

" What the... " Elias said, although quietly, but loud enough to gather attention from the others. Bruce has never turned around so fast and Damian didn't even dare to turn around. The others were frozen as they turned to look at Elias.

Elias tried to say something, but he felt dizzy. He tried to open his mouth, but couldn't. He felt himself falling down, vision going black. He heard shouts and before he went out completely, he felt somebody touching his face.

Elias opened his eyes with effort. He blinked a few times, adjusting his eyes to the light. He turned his head to the left, seeing some medical devices and a cabinet full bottles, bandages and something else that Elias couldn't recognize.

He turned his head to the right, seeing a small chair. He hummed to himself as he quietly sat up, sighing quietly. He stopped when he heard somebody coming closer.

Wait, are those drapes like those similar in the hospital when you want to give people privacy? Oh no.

Elias laid back down as Bruce entered, carrying a water bottle, but this time not in the Batsuit, just some casual sweatpants and a grey shirt. Bruce handed Elias the bottle quietly. Elias accepted, the water feeling heavenly on his dry throat.

" Well... The cat's out of the bag it seems. " Bruce started and Elias looked away.

" Are you going to kick me out now? " Elias mumbled and Bruce shook his head.

" Of course not Elias. Of course, this changes a few things, but I wouldn't kick you out. I'm not cruel. " Bruce said as he put his hand on Elias' shoulder.

" I guess so. Also, I think that I might be able to do the conference. I thought about and it would be a good idea to do it. As long as you are there. " Elias said, finally looking up to look at Bruce.

" Okay. I can call and set it up. Also, I called the school and told them you won't be coming in this week at all. Your principal has agreed to let you go on the online version until you come back. "

Elias nodded, feeling happy. He didn't know if he could go back and be subjected to the looks and whispers. And he just loved studying and reading, but he didn't have a chance to read. Every time he tried, his mind would just drift off somewhere.

" So you are on my mom's case... " Elias started and Bruce nodded, waiting for Elias to continue.

" Do you have anything? I know that it's early, but if you do... I need to know. " Elias said, looking Bruce directly in his eyes. " The good, the bad and the ugly. I mean it. " Elias said, hoping that he got his message across to Bruce.

" At this time, I don't have anything solid, but I have suspicions. The fact that I can't locate your uncle is concerning to me. The company he works at is fake, his bank accounts are clean and there many aliases and fake names. "

Elias felt his eyes water. Oh God.

" And to me it just screams criminal activity, but I can't exactly conclude what exactly. " Bruce added and Elias wiped his eyes.

" I want to help. I want to get involved with this. If it means I have to become a vigilante, then so be it, but I have to find them both. " Elias said, getting more excited and Bruce looked at him.

He talked to everyone about it. They had no problem with Elias becoming a vigilante, but he had to know what it would entail. What he would have to sacrifice.

How he needed to be mentally strong.

" Okay. I can give you 3 options and I want you to think about them carefully. " Bruce started, sitting up straighter.

" First one is, you become a full time vigilante. That means that you go out on patrol every night. That means limited sleep, seeing awful things, facing the worst criminals there are. Not to mention, I need to train you in fighting and how to use the gadgets we use. Not to mention the climbing, hacking... Second one is you help out Alfred with research when we need it or simply calling in criminals when we get them. " Bruce paused for a moment, watching Elias.

He listened intently. Good.

" And third one is that you don't have to join. You can simply be a normal person in the house. "

" I want to fully. " Elias stated and Bruce opened his mouth, but Elias beat him to it.

" I know, you will say you need to think, but I'm fully aware of what that would be. People trying to kill you, those criminals trying to get inside of your mind, trying to break you... I know. I'm not stupid. I know that there will be difficult times. I know... But I can't stand aside. Not anymore. " Elias said with so much bravery, determination that it made Bruce pause for a moment.

" Okay then. It's settled. We are going to start with your martial arts training tomorrow, well, today in the afternoon. " Bruce said and Elias shook his head.

" I appreciate your concern B, but my mom got that covered. " Elias said as he sat up.

" What does that mean? "

" I can show you later today. I think I will ask Damian to spar. " Elias said as he moved his legs to the side and then standing up. Bruce followed Elias and the two quickly got up to the ground level. they were quiet and Bruce wondered what that meant, his mom got him covered?

He didn't ask and Elias quickly made his way down to his room, but not before being stopped by Dick.

" Can I help you Dick? " Elias asked.

" Yes. I wanted to help you out with the tension you carry. I can see that you are physically carrying it and your body didn't register it yet. Also, it can help you sleep. I do it every night and I sleep like a baby. "

" I know you are bendy in general. "

Dick snorted at the word bendy. " Yup, I was an acrobat. Now, want to give it a shot? "

Elias shrugged his shoulders as he plopped down on his bed. Dick started stretching him and Elias felt great. He never really stretched and this felt good.

" Dick? " Elias asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

" What? "

" Is Damian okay? He didn't turn around when he heard me. And I didn't see him in the cave or on the way here. "

Dick didn't say anything for a moment, but continued stretching.

" Damian is a closed off person in general. When we heard he got a friend we were shocked, but happy. He rarely shows emotions due to his rough upbringing. But soon we saw how protective he was of the people he cares for. You are officially one of those people. And let me tell you, he is good at seeing through people. Right now, he is probably worried about you, but won't show it because is closed off. I would ask him in the morning if he is okay. " Dick said as he continued on and Elias was on the verge of sleep.

" I think you are good to go. " Dick chuckled after 10 minutes and Elias huffed.

" We are doing this again. " Elias said and Dick laughed.

" How about we do it every morning and night? I can help you with your flexibility too. "

" Good. " Elias mumbled as he got under the covers. Dick left the room quietly, mumbling a good night. He was in darkness for a few more minutes, listening to everyone just milling around.

After the noises stopped, Elias closed his eyes. He nuzzled his pillow and just squirmed into the covers, listening to the wind that was picking up. Somehow, the howling wind comforted him.

#dc comics #dc x oc character #bruce wayne x oc #batman x male oc #tim drake x oc #red robin x oc #jason todd x oc #red hood x oc #dick grayson x oc #nightwing x oc #damian wayne x oc #robin x oc

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buckttommy · 4 months

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the most hilarious thing abc can actually do is start season 7 with buddie just being canon and living together and everybody being completely normal about it and like an off-hand comment or two about natalia and marisol not being in the picture anymore and then we get the backstory of when and how they finally went from idiots to lovers in some eddie begins (again) episode half-way through the season (bonus if they frame it similarly to the backstory of how chimney became chimney in that everybody knows but the audience doesn't and any further explanation ends in a cliff-hanger or it cuts to a different scene)

also i have no hopes and zero expectations and there's like a <0% chance of it happening but it would be hilarious

respectfully I would hate that 😭 i need to be buddie GET together otherwise i will kill myself and have my bisected corpse spread across oliver and ryan's front porch. it's not their fault but i feel like if i have to suffer so do they

#jack answers mail

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ashes-writing · 1 year

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rain ● t. speedle

warnings

none... unless you just hate the idea of co-workers dating, mutual crushes and a ride on a motorcycle. oh yeah yeah.. female reader warning for those who don't want to see that.

(( repost from @snarkwrites ))

word count

idk idk.. maybe 1k?

summary

tim speedle gives you a lift home from work when it's noticed that you have a flat tire and you'd be stranded otherwise. this ride turns into a cute lil first date scenario. sequel is ( kiss ) if you're wanting more.

taglist

-- if you were following my old blog and you've already seen this, please disregard.

@beardedbarba

@calmcoast

@justmeandanoverdrive

@uncrownedmox

other links

masterlist | tim's masterlist | about + rules

He clears his throat and you swallow hard, glaring at him in frustration as you find yourself a little irritated. More than a little annoyed because you’d been caught staring yet again. And daydreaming about how it would feel if Tim Speedle were buried inside of you like he was in the dream you had last night and didn’t want to wake up from.

The dream that made you late for work and lingered for nearly all of the workday, making it mission impossible to focus on even the simplest tasks for the most part.

“I asked you if you’re going to ride home with me or Wolfe. Your car’s not goin’ anywhere tonight.. Not with that blown tire and this rain.” Tim nods to the flat tire on the back of your car and glances at you firmly, his arms fold over his chest as he waits on an answer.

All you can think of right now is the way his hands felt all over you in your own private fantasies. How you’d give anything to know if your fantasy is even close to reality. And the sinking feeling that you’ll never know because all outward appearances seem to indicate that Tim Speedle doesn’t really like you all that much.

You bite your lip and you glance from Ryan Wolfe to Tim Speedle.

“Uh..” you’re faltering, it’s almost as if your brain is buffering and just the thought makes you frustrated at yourself all over again. This wouldn’t be a hard question, you find yourself thinking, if I didn’t have such a massive crush on you, Tim, and you didn’t seem annoyed by the mere presence of me.

“It’s not a hard question, doll.” Tim is teasing. There’s this look in his eyes as they settle on you and you swallow hard. You’re a little more than half tempted to say you’ll ride with Ryan just to get a rise out of him but you find yourself glancing around helplessly for Calleigh or Natalia instead.

Neither woman in sight.

Ryan’s flashing you that charmers grin. “C’mon. You live closer to my place anyway. And you know Tim is only going to be a grouch the entire time.”

But there’s something about that charmers grin that just.. It doesn’t quite sit right with you. You know Ryan’s a nice guy. He’s a good guy. Women fall all over themselves to talk to him pretty much 25/8. And lately, he’s been pouring on the charm nonstop.

This in turn, only seems to make Tim grouchier. Harder to be around.

“Plus, if you ride with Tim, you’re just going to get soaked. He drives a motorcycle.”

Tim’s just quietly staring at you the entire time and you find yourself staring right back, lost in his eyes.

Finally, the buffering process your brain seems to have been undergoing is finished and you manage to speak up and actually answer the question.

“I think I’ll ride with Tim, actually. Thank you though, Ryan.” you smile at him and step forward, giving him a sweet little hug. A hug that Ryan allows to linger just a little longer than normal and he squeezes you against him just a little more than he would one of the other women you both work with in the lab. He gazes down at you and chuckles quietly. “You’re sure?”

You smile and give a gentle nod. “Yeah. It’ll be fine.”

Ryan lingers, probably to make absolutely sure you don’t change your mind because everybody on the team knows that you and Tim do one thing better than anything and that is to argue.

Nonstop.

Passionately.

About damn near everything.

“Don’t scare her, Tim. Don’t be an asshole, either.” Ryan’s studying Tim. Tim is staring right back and you notice that he seems to be smirking a little at Ryan. Almost as if both of them are having a silent conversation. One that you’re not party to, nor do you understand at all.

To be fair, they’ve worked in the same lab for years now.

It’s probably as natural as breathing. You’re just the new assistant Horatio hired to work in the lab and help out. A glorified trainee, if one were to be completely honest. And you’re only just starting to really feel like part of the team where most of the rest of it’s members are concerned. It’s Tim that seems to be holding out the hardest.

“Now what makes you think I’m gonna do something like that, Wolfe?” Tim mutters the question in amusement. And he lets out a ragged breath because he’d been telling himself since Ryan proposed this stupid experiment in the first place that there was no way you were even a little interested in him to begin with. Ryan, however, seemed to be torn between overconfident that he’d be the one you chose to ride home with and cranky because there was just the smallest chance he was wrong and you did actually have feelings for Tim, despite the flirting he’s been doing with you for weeks. Flirting that on occasion, he feels like maybe you’re responding to and returning in kind.

Ryan leaves and this leaves you and Tim standing there together. The rain starts to really pour and you shiver as your clothing starts to soak through. It’s to your surprise that Tim takes off the oversized leather jacket he’s wearing and drapes it around your shoulders. Strong hands linger at your arms a little and he’s just staring at you for a few seconds.

You stick out your tongue, mostly to keep things light and keep that tension that’s starting to creep in -the one you can’t put a name to, out and at bay.

“Should probably get going before it starts to get worse out. We’ll call a tow truck or something for your car in the morning, okay?” he mumbles the words all while continuing to stare at you. Usually, when he takes control of a situation like this, it leads to an argument between the two of you because you’re both stubborn as hell, but tonight is different. Tonight there’s this underlying and unspoken depth to it.

“Yeah.” you finally manage to stop staring at his lips long enough to form an answer. You’re exhausted. You realize that you probably could have gotten someone to put on your donut tire and driven yourself home, but today was exhausting and all you want to do is get home to your cat and curl up with the erotic novel you started the night before. In dry clothes.

Your stomach growls and you remember you haven’t eaten since breakfast that morning and your breakfast was a power bar since you overslept. Tim’s head cocks slightly and he gazes down at you in thought. Then he chuckles quietly. “Have you eaten anything at all today? I don’t think I’ve seen you leave your desk a single time.”

“I had a power bar?” It comes out in the form of a question and you give a sheepish little laugh that has Tim biting his lip as he continues to stare. A hand raises and he steps just a little closer. Brushing damp strands out of your eyes. “I know this amazing place… I mean, if you want to stop and you’re not in a hurry to get home..”

You’re getting the strong feeling that he’s hinting at something. Or digging for information. But you’re not entirely sure, either. You lick your lips and smile. “I could eat.” you answer quietly.

“Awesome.” he chuckles. He gives you an actual smile, not the formal one he usually gives you. Not the know it all smirk, either. This one is.. Different. It’s softer. He nods to his Ducati and mutters quietly, “You’re going to want to hold on real tight.”

All you can do is nod. And of course, think to yourself that you’ll happily hold on as tight as he wants for as long as he wants...

#tim speedle #tim speedle fanfiction #tim speedle imagine #tim speedle x reader #tim speedle x you #tim speedle x yn #tim speedle fanfic #csi miami ● tim speedle #<- my writing ● tim speedle #fandom ( csi miami ) | season ( all ) | character ( tim speedle )

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lover-of-mine · 6 months

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the is that enough / she sees me parallel has been haunting me forever! I'm 100% sure they're doing that on purpose, they're not that blind to their own writing. just hate that they always leave it there (because honestly, buck and eddie can't be that oblivious. especially with she sees me better than anyone, buck would never say that to his best friend who knows him best)

Oh, they definitely are, those are some conversations that they could totally go back and repurpose if they ever decide to make these two oblivious idiots stop being oblivious idiots, and well, I will always have faith. But the whole I feel like she sees me, you know? Like she really sees me for who I am and what I've been through thing (I am not about to excuse Buck for saying that, it is a shitty thing to tell your best friend, nothing can actually make it okay for him to say that to Eddie of all people, who's been reading him like he's favorite book since the moment they met and I kinda wanna smack him for it) is that I kinda think that Buck needs someone to not think his death was a tragedy and he needs that from someone who doesn't have a baseline of his behavior pre-death. Which makes Natalia perfect for his brand of repression, since death is not scary to her and she didn't know him before, she's not gonna be affected by the fact that he died, so Buck can talk about his death in a controlled environment. Because, like, Buck is not stupid, he sees the way it affected the people who love him, and I feel dying took away his main coping when it came to near death experiences or traumatic events in general, because Buck hadn't almost died in a while, after the warehouse fire on Buck begins, the next situation that almost kills him where he is the focus, is the lightning, and even before that he's very nonchalant about the blood clots, his fear with the truck wasn't dying, it was losing his leg/not being able to work, and the tsunami he was too focused on Chris to care about himself, but now he has no where to divert the focus, he has nothing to allow him to turn around and say "it wasn't that bad" or "that wasn't about me" because it was that bad and it was about him. He did die. And the whole thing with the way they wrote him and his passively suicidal tendencies is not that he's actually trying to die by doing things and not caring if death comes or not, is just that he doesn't think it will matter if it does die, he doesn't think his life matter in the grand scheme of things. But now death is not just some possibility, something that comes with the job, something that could happen, he died, he has feelings about it, it almost broke the people he loves and he doesn't want to look at that, because to look at that he needs to look at everything else that happened to him. Natalia is a shortcut into dealing with death, because it's literally her job to make alive people okay with death, she doesn't know who he was before and he doesn't care about her enough to wonder if his death is hurting her, which allows him to be his bashful, giggly "I'll start by saying I woke up in a world that was both everything and nothing I ever wanted it to be" and make his death a cute little story in a way that would, honestly, make someone who actually cared about him yell (Eddie storming off after bucktalia talk about how awesome it is that he died 2024).

The whole thing that's going on there, in my opinion, is not that she sees him, it is that she's seeing what he wants her to see and that's the appeal. Because Buck is all "I feel like I have to try and be the same old Buck, mostly for the sake of everybody else" when literally NO ONE is asking him to be anything other than himself. If he wanted to scream, cry, break things, shave his head, grow a beard, dye his hair red, get matching tattoos, get a new car, take a month long vacation on the mountains, get a dog, leave the loft, as long as he's not hurting himself, Eddie, Maddie, Bobby, Hen, Chim, they would all be completely on board, as long as it helps him. Buck is the one refusing to talk. Buck is the one refusing to accept this big thing happened. Buck is the one trying to just go back to before. He wants to acknowledge death changed him but he doesn't want to deal with the fact that his death changed other people. Because if he decides to be honest about it with Maddie, Bobby, Eddie, he has to deal with so much more. He has to deal with Daniel, he has to deal with Eddie being shot, he has to deal with every time he feared he lost Bobby, he has to deal with the well, with Maddie being kidnapped by Doug, because if he allows himself to accept that they are allowed their own set of feelings about his death, he has to accept that he is allowed his own set of feelings about what happened to them and then shit gets too real for him.

#my repressed summer child #he knows if he looks at everything he will break #its why he doesn't #so he cant deal with his death with someone he loves #because that will be too much #but thats just me #911 meta #buck #i really need a tag for asks #anon 😌#i just kept talking huh

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letthelampburn · 9 days

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finally finished all the 911 eps I haven’t seen (aka a big chunk of S6 🤣)

i kinda get the hate now for the hasty introduction of Natalia and Marisol as girlfriends because, even if the show was canceled and it was the last ep.. I feel like Eddie just realizing he didn’t need a romantic partner to feel complete would’ve made more impact.

anyway, I had very low expectations so I was mildly surprised. It wasn’t thaaat bad! I enjoyed the season finale with Buck saving everybody 🤣 (and the Madney proposal! 🥺)

#911 abc #now what do i do

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captain-hen · 13 days

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so uhm listening to labyrinth by taylor in the context of the 1st verse being Eddie about Shannon's death and trying to move on and the 2nd verse being Buck finding himself post lightning? It only hurts this much right now Was what I was thinking the whole time her death Breathe in, breathe through Breathe deep, breathe out the panic attacks/break down/ptsd arc I'll be getting over you my whole life first love/mother of his child, she's not replacable etc You know how scared I am of elevators Never trust it if it rises fast It can't last asking marisol to move in too quickly and then having her move out again right after vs spending years nesting and building a family with buck It only feels this raw right now Lost in the labyrinth of my mind post lightning strike, not knowing what he's feeling, being all over the place emotionally Break up, break free, break through, break down natalia, bucktommy kiss/ coming out, buddie feelings realisation, still waiting for the break down he never got honestly You would break your back to make me break a smile You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back Just like that Eddie being supportive, being his safe place, his save haven, his landing place etc. (also the sirens in the background of the song)

no like labyrinth is SUCH an eddie song (i think i've done a gifset of it too??) but yes also the parts of it that apply to buck are...jesus. maybe i'll do another gifset this time including both their POVs after s7 gets over

#neethu answers #anon

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angelst4re · 2 years

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୨♡୧ Jamie x Reader

Lie Detector -- there are rumours that you and jamie are dating, and you go onto a talk show and take a lie detector test! (inspired by charlie and natalia!)

'Til Death Do Us Part -- yours and jamie's honeymoon! he gets a bit jealous and you have a little argument :/

Cravings -- pregnant french!reader is craving macarons, jamie surprises her with some in bed

photobooth with jamie -- as it says :)

jamie coming back from filming -- as it says :)

Poor Thing -- you have never had aftercare before, so after doing the deed with jamie you get ready to leave, but he makes you stop, gives you cuddles and all his love <3 (no smut btw! ik this sounds nsfw but it's not)

boyfriend jamie headcanons -- as it says :)

Baby Body -- you feel insecure about your post-childbirth body, but your husband reassures you that you have the most beautiful body in the world!

Joe? -- you go with jamie to a dinner with the stranger things cast and meet joe keery, who you used to have the biggest crush on, jamie gets a bit jealous!

Disappointed -- pregnant!reader goes for an ultrasound, you expect jamie to be there but because of his work he was unable to come with you, leaving you upset

Too Soon -- you're pregnant with twins and want to tell jamie, but you're afraid that it's too soon and things are going too fast between you :(

No Peeking -- jamie gets a tattoo for your birthday!

Always Yours -- after receiving hate online, you post some pictures letting them know who your boyfriend belongs to :)

Night Drive -- when you can't sleep, you and jamie go for a drive!

Flawless -- after receiving hate online you start feeling insecure, however, your boyfriend is always there to comfort you and remind you how wonderful you are!

Gender Reveal -- as it says! :)

As You Are (plussize!reader) -- jamie likes you, but you odn't understand why, you feel like it's a cruel joke, but he's determined to show you your worth and show you how much he loves you! part 2! (warning! NSFW!)

coming out to jamie -- you bump into your ex, and jamie knows she wasn't just a friend...

First Time (getting a tattoo!) -- it's your first time getting a tattoo, so jamie comes with you to calm your nerves!

Night Terrors -- jamie comforts you after you have some bad dreams :(

Drunk in Love -- you come home drunk after a night out with your friends, jamie helps you get ready for bed :')

For the Thrill of It -- you're 1. in a band and 2. in a secret relationship with jamie and you're sick and tired of having to hide, and the rumours, so with the help of your daughter, you let everybody know the truth

cuddling with jamie! -- as it says :)

daddy issues -- you have a fight with your dad and run to jamie's in the middle of the night for comfort

Be My Mistake -- you broke up with jamie because the attention and hate from the fans was too much to handle, you spent the next 9 months working on yourself but when you see him at a party, you can't help but fall into old patterns

Right Here -- reader has nightmares and trouble sleeping, jamie calms her down and helps her back to sleep again :')

My First -- jamie is your first boyfriend and you feel a little insecure about it

Midnight Rain -- jamie calms you down from a panic attack in the middle of the night

Every Part -- you feel a little bad about yourself but jamie reassures you that he loves every part of you :')

Head Over Heels -- jamie proposes to you!

protective jamie

Perfect (ftm reader!) -- jamie comforting you when you feel insecure :)

Home -- jamie returns home after tarvelling for the comicons, ft. clingy jamie <3

Pretty Boy -- trans masc reader! you finally allow your boyfriend to confirm your relationship on social media!

Last Updated: 28th May!!

#jamie bower x reader #jamie campbell bower x reader

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evalaruesource · 2 months

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Soap alum Eva LaRue, who became a fan favorite playing All My Children’s Maria Santos Grey on ABC on and off from 1993 to 2011, will make her General Hospital debut on February 26 as Blaze’s mother, Natalia Rogers-Ramirez. And though she’s been a working actress for nearly 40 years, LaRue admits she had some trepidation before starting her new gig.“I do still get nervous,” she shares. “Of all the different genres, soaps are by far the hardest, I think, because there’s an element of theater to it; there’s no stop-and-go like in nighttime television or in a feature film. There’s no getting to do it again unless there’s some major technical difficulty, so there’s that flying-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of feel to it, and it’s also so much dialogue, which is a little anxiety-producing, especially when you’re jumping back into it again after a bunch of years break. So, it’s exciting and scary all at the same time.”Fortunately, she saw some familiar faces upon arriving at the set. “That’s been the best part of the job,” she declares. “I started at GH in January, which was so fun because there are so many All My Children and One Life [To Live] actors over there; so many New Yorkers. When I went in to go do my wardrobe fitting, the first person I saw was Finola [Hughes, Anna], so that was fun. There’s a new guy on the show, Adam Harrington [who plays John], that I did a Lifetime movie [Cries in the Dark] with. He started the same day I did. And Nancy Grahn [who plays Alexis] and I hadn’t worked together before, but she and I are friends. Just seeing everybody has been a blast.”LaRue is enjoying getting to know more about her new alter ego, who is struggling with her daughter’s sexuality. “Natalia is a very conservative Latina, single mom who raised her daughter to be all of these amazing things, supported her and her talent, and went out of her way to make sure she had all she wanted,” the actress explains. “My first scenes are such chewy material, and I was really grateful for that. Natalia walks in as Blaze is coming out of the shower and Kristina is in her bed, so this feels like a major betrayal to her because Blaze has been keeping this big secret.She continues, “She knew her mom was not going to understand it and she doesn’t. It’s not malicious and it’s not out of hate; it’s just out of a surprise and shock and conservativism that Natalia is having a really hard time being okay with it. I think the storyline is great because it’s so topical. There are so many nuances to having to play it with some heart and depth and understanding.”LaRue is also thrilled that she gets to share scenes with Maurice Benard [who plays Sonny], a first for her. “We’ve never worked together before, but we’re acquaintance friends,” she details. “But it felt so legit, so iconic. When I told all my ‘mom friends’ who are huge General Hospital fans that I had scenes with Sonny, they were like, ‘No way!’ That was really fun. And our scenes together were great.”As was her first day in general. “I loved it,” she enthuses. “You don’t always walk away, thinking, ‘That was a great day at work.’ Sometimes you’re like, ‘Oh, I can’t believe that’s gonna air,’ but I walked away that day going, ‘Oh, my God. I feel so good about this. Yay!’ I really walked away on cloud nine. I was very excited.”While her length of time on the show is undetermined for now, LaRue would be open to a longer Port Charles stay. “They brought me on for the story, and I don’t know anything other than that,” she notes. “I’m recurring right now, but I would love to hang out and recur for as long as they need me or want me. It’s such a great place to work.”

#eva larue #eva la rue #General Hospital

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typingtess · 1 year

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Tiptoeing through the “Survival of the Fittest” guest cast

Pamela Reed as Roberta Deeks Natalia Del Riego as Rosa Reyes Both are back from “Flesh & Blood” week before last.

Dominic Burgess as Herman Cooper Was Jerry Summers in Dr. Death, Uncle Eddy in Better Things and was John Wayne Gacy in Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story.

Appeared in episodes of Doctor Who, Leverage, Rules of Engagement, 90210, Maron, Family Tools, Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD, Raising Hope, Dads, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Leftovers, We Need to Talk, 2 Broke Girls, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, Feud, The Night Shift, Teen Wolf, The Flash, Supernatural, Queen of the South, The Good Place, American Horror Story, The Rookie, Santa Clarita Diet, Perfect Harmony, Modern Family, The Magicians, Star Trek: Picard, Fantasy Island, Our Flag Means Death and 9-1-1: Lone Star.

Piper Curda as Lisa Cho Was Casey in Rule the Mix, Kennedy Van Buren in A.N.T. Farm and Jasmine King in I Didn’t Do It.

Guest roles include Law & Order: SVU, Malibu Country, Body of Proof, Live and Maddie, The Rookie, Legacies and Raven’s Home.

Bobby Hogan as Marine Private First Class James Williams Appeared in an episode of 9-1-1: Lone Star and American Horror Stories.

Cyrus Hobbi as Marine Staff Sergeant Pierce Plays Yuri on General Hospital.

Also appeared in episodes of Ballers, Betrayed, Liza on Demand, Young Rock and The Family Business.

Jesse Boone as Nicholas "Nick" Embry Was in episodes of The Heights and Betrayed.

Susan Slome as Jordana Hanson Guest starred in episodes of High Incident, Ned and Stacey, Married with Children, Just Shoot Me, Party of Five, Malcolm & Eddie, Payne, Judging Amy, Good vs. Evil, The X Files, It’s Like You Know, The District, Without a Trace, Friends, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, George Lopez, Angel, Miss Match, Scrubs, Jake in Progress, House, Kitchen Confidential, Everybody Hates Chris, Crossing Jordan, Grey’s Anatomy, The Mentalist, The Mindy Project, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, Criminal Minds, Silicon Valley and Shooter.

Marcus Antony Brunner as Marine Private First Class Edward Hanson New.

Written by: Andrew Bartels wrote or co-wrote "Allegiance", "Zero Days", "The Grey Man", "Humbug", "Fighting Shadows", "Driving Miss Diaz", "Angels & Daemons", "Where There’s Smoke…", "Glasnost", "Old Tricks" "Battle Scars", "Fool Me Twice", "Warrior of Peace", "Reentry", "The Prince", "Smokescreen", "The One That Got Away"/"No More Secrets" two-parter, "Yellow Jacket", "Missing Time", "If the Fates Allow", "Red Rover, Red Rover", "Divided We Fall" and “Genesis”.

Directed by: Eric A. Pot directed “Resurrection”, “Windfall”, “Traitor”, “Internal Affairs”, “Home is Where the Heart Is”, “Forasteira”, “Reentry”, “Hit List”, “The One Who Got Away”, “Kill Beale Vol 1”, “Fortune Favors the Bold”, “A Fait Accompli”, “Imposter Syndrome”, “Indentured” and “Sorry for Your Loss”.

#NCIS: Los Angeles #NCIS: LA #tiptoeing #NCIS Los Angeles #ncis la

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mariacallous · 2 years

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While it’s too early to tell what the scale of the migration caused by Russia’s invasion of Ukraine will be when all is said and done, it’s clear that the war has sent demographic shockwaves across the region. In addition to the millions of Ukrainian refugees who have fled to the EU, more than a million others are now in Russia, many of them victims of forced deportation. Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands of Russians have left their own country, fleeing the Kremlin’s wartime crackdown on dissent and Putin’s mobilization campaign. While these crises differ in scale, one consequence they share is that children from both countries are suddenly living in environments where they stand out from their peers — a situation ripe for bullying. Journalists from the student-run online magazine Doxa spoke to Russian and Ukrainian parents now living abroad about the difficulties their children are having at school. In English, Meduza explains what they learned.

Iryna (name changed) is from a small town in Ukraine’s Donetsk region. She moved with her husband and two sons to St. Petersburg after the roof of their home was blown off by a shell. The family would have preferred to go to Europe, but Iryna's elderly parents still live in Ukraine, so she didn’t want to move too far away.

“One [of Iryna's sons] is a teenager and the other is just a baby,” Natalia, a St. Petersburg-based activist who works with Ukrainian refugees in the city, told the Russian news outlet Doxa. (Natalia spoke to journalists on Iryna's behalf; Iryna was too scared.) When the family’s home was shelled, Iryna's older son used his body to shield his little brother. Soon after, he began suffering from what sound like symptoms of trauma. “He would freeze for a few seconds at a time, he slept poorly, he cried out in his sleep, and his legs would shake,” Natalia said.

Unable to find a job that paid enough for an apartment in St. Petersburg, Iryna and her family eventually moved to a border town in the Rostov region. Still, she and Natalia stayed in touch. When she would travel to the city so Natalia could help her with document issues, she would sometimes start crying while talking about her new home. “[Iryna would say that] there are portraits of Putin and Kadyrov everywhere, the population practically pray to them, and everybody supports the war and hates Ukraine, despite the fact that practically everybody has family there,” Natalia told Doxa.

Iryna's older son enrolled in a local school, but he only went for three days. “He came home with a smashed-up face: the classmates beat him up after he told them he was Ukrainian and proud,” Natalia said. “Now the boy refuses to go to Russian school, and Iryna is afraid child protection services are going to come for him. Now the teenager is remotely attending his Ukrainian school.” The boy’s classmates are spread throughout Europe and the unoccupied part of Ukraine; he’s the only one in Russia.

Natalia told Doxa that explicit bullying of Ukrainian children in Russia is the exception rather than the rule, and other volunteers agreed. For example, Alla, a charity organization employee who lives in St. Petersburg, said that it’s easier for parents who’ve been deported to Russia from Ukraine to send their children to school than it is for migrants from Central Asia, who often face racism and hostility in Russia. This is in part because even Russians who support the war usually don’t blame Ukrainians in Russia for simply being there: “If they believe [Russian propaganda] and believe that Ukrainans are Nazis, then they think, ‘These people are running from the Nazis,' and [so] they treat the refugees alright,” she said.

Nonetheless, many Ukrainian students in regions throughout Russia have faced bullying and harassment at school this year. Lida Moniava, the founder of the Lighthouse Charity Foundation, listed examples in a recent Facebook post:

Last week, two upperclassman girls spent five hours having a ‘chat’ with the director [of the school] and representatives of [security] ‘agencies.’ Their classmates had complained about an 'anti-Russian’ post one of the girls made on social media. [In another case,] kids were shouting at an overweight [Ukrainian] boy, ‘Did you sit in a basement and starve, fatty?’ Another boy, as part of an assignment for his social studies class, was asked to 'draw the flag of any country,' and drew the Ukrainian flag. His classmates snatched the drawing from him and stomped on it. One teenage girl started coming home from school sullen and depressed at the start of the year, though she said everything was fine. Then her mom looked in her backpack and found notes with threats from her classmates because of her nationality.

‘I’m glad my daughter is here’

The Russian parents living abroad who spoke to Doxa described a strikingly different situation. Initially, they said, their new acquaintances and colleagues asked how they could help their new guests; a few people were even given time off work. While some inevitably felt tension surrounding the topic of the war, nobody described experiencing as much as incivility from their new hosts.

Lidia, a Russian woman living in Tbilisi, said that there are six Russian-speaking children in her daughter’s class, not including her daughter. “One day, when they were talking to one another in Russian, the teacher came to them and asked them not to speak in the language of occupiers, even among themselves,” she told Doxa. “But none of the six children is even Russian. One of them, for example, is from Kazakhstan.” Overall, though, Lidia said that both the students and the teaching staff at her daughter’s school in Tbilisi are “so much less toxic than in Russia,” adding, “I’m really glad my daughter is here.”

Veronika, a Ukrainian woman who lives in Germany, has tried to take a more active role in her daughter’s school situation. “I don’t let my child be friends with Russian children. I develop an unfriendly attitude towards everything that comes from Rashka,” she told Doxa. Regardless of what their parents might tell them, however, Veronika's daughter and the Russian students in her class talk to each other — though “when parents come around, they separate,” said Veronika. “[One of the Russian girls,] of course, told her parents [that I forbid my daughter from talking to her]. But there was no conflict between us — maybe the parents [...] have decided it’s better not to react.”

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atcostmag · 6 months

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Natasha Bai - Soldier of Love (EP)

Photo: Sasha Favorov

Soldier of Love (EP) Natasha Bai Re-released: September 23rd, 2023 / Self-Released Words: Peter Quincy Ng

Somethings are better left unsaid, as Natalia Baimesheva (more colloquially known as Natasha Bai) infers with the recent re-release of her EP "Soldier of Love". A record stuck in limbo in more ways than one, the Novosibirsk, Russian artist's album though cryptic is poignant in its imagery, eventually finding its way to re-release through self-publication. Take for example the visual of the carnation which adorns its album art; a flower which during Soviet times often was reserved for the most dignified of commemorations. The flower now seen bent at the peduncle is a sobering image of misappropriated meaning. Take from it what you can tells Natasha, whose inspirations for the record arose around a time of global conflict and a divergent, unipolar world.

Opening track "Sun & Sky" glows with its glimmering lo-fi synths and is juxtaposed with a bassy smack and Natasha's distant yet dreamy narration. The track's portrayal of moods feels euphoric yet out of reach in its nostalgic sentiment. Following is succeeding track is "Soldier of Love", whose mood becomes more stern and punishing. The track weaves in and out of acidic synths throughout the track and its regimental breakbeats hammer through the track as Natasha's vocals command a colder, more disconnected delivery.

Perhaps Baimesheva's most potent track is the one sung in English as "Human, Right". A song written about human rights yet points no fingers, the song centers around its mantra-like slogans prophesizing an erosion of personal liberties that will eventually lead to loss of life. Synths lead and out like sirens and its bass lines hard and somber over Natasha's cold dictation.

"Outlaw", which takes a similar inspiration from its preceding track is a menacing electro-funk single with a dark, heady temperament. Forcing her words out of the loud speaker, Natasha's words are meant to disperse and rout, as she echoes the words spoken against illegal assembly.

The final track is slow and stalking, alluring in its chase yet foreboding in its messaging. Baimesheva's seductive" Two Words" speak a lustful desire to commit social taboos yet becomes weirdly out of touch and as the track contorts through its snarling synths.

What can be said about the record is it is indeed meant to provoke and subvert, but as we extrapolate "points no fingers". In the end, music serves no good to be oddly specific, rather it should be up to the listener to draw their own experiences and conclusions. Music after all, is a language in itself, and is perhaps the only universal one we have in this increasingly connected yet politically divergent world. These are the sentiments echoed by Natasha as she leaves us with these few sentences after a general loss of words in describing her arduous body of work;

"I’ve been thinking for a year what to say under this release, but there are almost no words left, to be honest. Let the music say it, because through making music (and a lot of working on myself) I somehow came from “I hate this world/people/etc” to love. So I wish everybody nothing but love and thanks for listening and (the) support."

#natasha bai #natalia baimesheva #russia #music #Bandcamp

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nuria-schnee · 2 years

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BLACKBONNET PLAYLIST - SPANISH EDITION

Look, there's not much more explanation for this than me being Spanish and emotional over these two and that I'm avoiding the revision of the next chapter of my fic for a bit.

This was getting too long and I don't want anyone using desktop mode to hate me so, I put all the songs in a playlist on Spotify. There's about 30 there.

Enjoy.

MY TOP 5

I'm dying to know you, to know what you're thinking

Open all your doors and win over those storms that want to destroy us

Center my eyes in your gaze, sing with you 'til dawn

This for me is very Ed + Stede post-reunion and this song has always given me many feelings but FUCK IT'S WORSE NOW. Very cheesy, very dramatic, a 10/10

I carry you inside me

To the root

And no matter how much it grows

You'll be here

A recent discovery. I LOVE IT. I get very 'Stede coming back to the sea' vibes from it.

You left here

The most beautiful part of you

Come back when you miss it

When you're trying to sleep

This one is so sad, for real. I've written/read a lot of sad scenes with Ed in them with this song in the background. (Luna Ki marry me please te quiero)

(this one is in Catalan. Idc, my playlist my rules. There's a version in Spanish but this version slaps harder)

If you're not with me I'm going to lose control

And everything around me will feel pain

Nothing will happen and nothing will remain

And I'll become nothing but a rock

If I think again that you're going to forget

About the fire that burns both our souls

I know I'll give up, that I won't see this much light ever again

Look, if I need to write a really dramatic Ed scene pre-reunion this is THE SONG. Look at the lyrics. Look at them. Feels.

We're not guilty

But we're vulnerable

It's how things are

What's left for me to live?

If you play this song in a karaoke in Spain everybody will start singing it and will pour The Angst™ into it like it's the last thing they'll ever do. It fits here. It's very angsty and romantic so-

#our flag means death #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #stedeward #ofmd #i always make weird decisions in the middle of the night like make a ofmd playlist but with songs in Spanish #i almost added si la ves by rkm & ken-y just because i can't be serious for five minutes

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venussaidso · 3 years

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'Why this line is embarrassing' — rant by a Nat stan.

And after she died for this supposed family, they never once gave the same energy back. Or did I miss something?

No one ever really cared about Natasha Romanoff but she cared about everybody else. Because she's the mommy of the Avengers, apparently. She keeps the team together but gets nothing in return. No one risks anything for her, or does her any favours. Am I, a dedicated loyal Nat stan, supposed to think that's her family?

She risked being a fugitive for Steve and he's never done anything for her in return. She even helped him retrieve Bucky's file in CA:TWS for him and even adopted Wanda who mind-raped her when she has a history of her mind getting messed with. We never saw her connection with Thor so its safe to say there is none. Hulk ditched her to go to space lmfao. Yall really think he cares about her? Wanda threw her in the corner of a container when she was fighting with her best friend, saying to Clint, "You were pulling your punches." Clearly she doesn't like her but Natasha tried to save her ass in Infinity War. They really expect me to believe that's her family? Look Wanda is a sadist, but she really wanted Clint to beat that ass more huh? Ain't she her sister figure?? Wait, I'm sorry, those are the headcanons of the delusional fans right. Thinking the Avengers are Black Widow's family.

And she's supposed to be the 'mom' of the Avengers?? Nat is a very independent, dangerous assassin with a lot of complexities and is not your conventional hero. Yall softening her to a degree of her becoming a mommy when no one returns that energy to her is kind of stomping on her character. Because she is more than a sweet doormat.

And she clearly does not have the basic concept of 'family', with all that trauma she's gone through in her younger years. She does not understand how a real family would treat her. She doesn't understand what real loyalty is coming from others – aside from Clint. Instead she has so much love to give that she doesn't understand that, no sweetie, these people are not your family.

She's always trying to pull the team back together when everybody else has their own shit going (reference; CA:CW). Sacrificed herself for the world and her 'family' who never once brought up her death again after.

That is why I hate that line SO MUCH.

"I uSeD tO hAvE nOtHiNg, ThEn i GoT tHiS fAmiLy."

No baby, you still have nothing.

Clint Barton is and was always her only true fam. I can say this confidently. Everybody else can screw off.

I was never a Marvel stan, more like a Natasha Romanoff stan. So whichever character doesn't care about her, I genuinely don't care about them back. And from what I've seen, they really do not give a shit about her. But I'm not trying to sound petty. I just automatically care about whoever takes care of my comfort character, by default.

But yea that line will forever be embarrassing. And Natasha's character was always written pretty badly, like the writers never knew what to do with her so they just made her a mommy character.

(note: I keep saying 'mommy' because I know there is a word to describe the self-sacrificing female type character in which no one around them gives a shit about because she's not written well but I don't remember it! It's not 'mammy' though, that's for another topic)

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