following the light
Author: LoversAntiquities | Artist: jollyrolls
Posting on Thursday March 14
Almost a year to the day, and Castiel is still sick. After months of blackouts and near misses, Dean has managed to find a way to quell the spells and drag Castiel back from the proverbial abyss. However, when Castiel progressively gets worse and Dean's voice is no longer enough to keep him conscious, Dean sets out to find every faith healer in the country, in the hopes that one of them might shed light on what's happening, and how to prevent it.
Only, Dean and Castiel find out more than they bargained for—and that the solution, apparently, has been right under their noses the whole time.
Keep reading for a sneak preview!
He takes the right, barely tapping the brakes. At the first clear patch of shoulder, Dean pulls off and slams the truck into park, shuttering the engine. He kicks the door open, rounds the engine—yanks the passenger handle so hard that he fears it might break. Hands to Castiel’s biceps, Dean helps him out of the seat and into the grass, just before Castiel turns to dead weight in his arms. Keeping him upright is a feat—getting him backed up against the side panel is a miracle.
“Hey, hey,” Dean rasps. He pats Castiel’s cheek, searching for Castiel’s eyes in the dark. “Hey, look at me, okay? Touch me, hey—” He takes Castiel by the wrist and maneuvers him, forcing Castiel to touch the warm cotton of his T-shirt. Limp, Castiel holds on. “Hey, I—I know you’re in there. You’re always in there, alright? Just hold on to me.”
Castiel’s head lists forward; Dean presses him into the quarter panel with all of his strength. “When we were,” Dean begins, a little too brittle, a little too rough. “When me and Sam were teenagers, we went to this… this canyon in Georgia. Dad said it was the Grand Canyon, but we weren’t even in the right part of the country, but we—we didn’t wanna fight him on it, ‘cause he actually took us somewhere, y’know?” He smiles, fighting back the tremble in his fingers, the ache in his heart. “All the runoff from the farms gouged out a canyon in the middle of nowhere, and it was just so…”
He stops to look down at his tennis shoes, so worn that he can almost see his toe poking through. “Sam thought it was the greatest thing ever. I—Shit, I barely remember it, but every once in a while, he’ll still talk about it, like the week before we weren’t chasing a ghoul across the entire fucking state. But I remember looking at it, and I thought…” He tightens his grip. “For once, I felt calm. Like I was… small, and like my problems didn't matter. Picture it.” He sucks in air, slow, like it might spur Castiel into breathing. “Water cutting through the clay. The green of the trees growing around the tops of the canyon walls. A river. Babbling brooks.”
Dean shakes his head, fighting a laugh. “You hear the water?”
Silence—then, a breath, and the weight piled on Dean’s shoulders threatens to bury him in the grass. Castiel blinks, his mouth forming around a word Dean can’t hear. “Hey, hey,” Dean hushes. He clasps both sides of Castiel’s neck, thumbs pressed to his Adam’s apple as he swallows. “Hey, you with me?”
“It’s loam,” Castiel croaks, and Dean lifts a brow. “Most of the soil in southern Georgia is composed of sand and clay—”
“Okay, not what I’m concerned about.” He swallows around the knot in his throat. “Seriously, you wanna give me a geology lesson, any other time. Now, are you good?”
(continue reading on Ao3 on )
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sometimes I'm confused/annoyed by how many people draw out!queer!Dean wearing pink. I get that its about him rejecting traditional/toxic masculinity and not being afraid to explore softness, etc, but...
yall do understand that Dean can be queer, and soft, and non-traditionally masculine, and still wear what he always wears, right?
Idk. when I think "how does comfortable out, queer Dean Winchester dress", I think (on the tame side) of long hair, pride pins/patches/shirts, really dorky t shirts from scooby-doo and stuff, rainbow flannel, badly distressed cutoff jeans, bead bracelets, stacked bracelets in general, pierced ears, simple pendant necklaces, grandmacore jewelry, weird or trashy joke socks.
on the WILD side, I think of those sleeveless tiddy-window turtlenecks, distressed bleached-denim short shorts, flannel tied around his waist, cowboy boots, lipstick, and glittery gold sequin-studded fishnet tights.
ig what im saying is i understand the pink as a metaphor and do think he'd try it. I just dont think it would stick. "gay Dean" is still Dean. he's not going to turn into a head-to-toe pink, Kencore himbo drag queen (Which tbh, some of yall seem to rly like to portray him as). he's going to be the same joke socks, double-cuffed jeans, eating pizza in bed kicking his legs, adhd as fuck, flirty, cowboy kink, Certified Weird Bisexual(tm) Dean Winchester that he's always been.
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